Scrolling 2 Death

Episode Summary: "What kids say about tech" (with Titania Jordan)

Host: Nicki Petrossi
Guest: Titania Jordan
Date: February 6, 2025

Episode Overview

In this episode, Nicki Petrossi sits down with Titania Jordan, Chief Parenting Officer at Bark Technologies, to discuss what kids really think and say about technology, including smartphones, social media, and gaming. Drawing from their experiences speaking at schools and interacting directly with children, Nicki and Titania explore the real questions and concerns kids have, bridging the communication gap between parents and children about tech use, safety, and the social dynamics influencing device choices.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. What Kids Ask About Tech (00:39–07:02)

• Children’s Baseline Tech Understanding

  • Some kids, even in middle school, lack a basic understanding of terms like "predator."
    • "One kid came up to me and said, what is a predator?" (00:25)
  • Titania recommends using simpler language, like “tricky person” or “bad guy,” to help kids understand and stay alert.
    • Quote:
      "Most children, whether it's early childhood or middle school, kind of understand the concept of like good guy, bad guy or person who wants to trick you." – Titania (01:49)

• Gaming vs. Social Media: Are They Equally Harmful?

  • Kids perceive gaming as less "dangerous" than social media; parents are often grateful for expert clarification.
  • Both gaming and social media can expose kids to strangers, inappropriate content, and addiction mechanics.
  • Titania highlights that online games can be fun and educational, but boundaries matter.
    • "...if we're not careful, they'll keep us sitting still for too long. And if your body is blessed to be able to move, you've gotta move." – Titania (04:36)

• Kids’ Reluctance to Share with Parents

  • Many kids admit fearing their devices will be taken away if they disclose online encounters.
    • "Kids wish their parents knew what it was really like, but they are afraid to tell them because they're afraid their parents are gonna take the device away." – Nicki (07:16)
  • Titania notes solutions must be age-appropriate and collaborative, advocating for earned trust and gradual responsibility.

2. Navigating Device Safety with Kids (07:39–10:22)

• Parent-Child Collaboration

  • Titania analogizes tech to a problematic bike—work together to make it safer, rather than instantly remove it.
  • Suggests replacing problematic tech use with safer alternatives (e.g., disabling chat in games, using speakerphone for known contacts).

• Building Trust and Responsible Use

  • Allow kids space to show responsibility. If boundaries are crossed, pause tech use and try again later.
    • Quote:
      "Give them the opportunity to succeed and show responsibility. And then if they don't, you know, it's not punitive, but it's just like, hey, this wasn't a success, so let's pause and then try again. Maybe when you are ready to succeed." – Titania (10:08)

3. The Double Standard: "Why Does My Mom Love Instagram?" (10:22–13:46)

• Children Notice Parental Tech Habits

  • Many girls ask why their moms spend so much time on Instagram if it’s supposedly so dangerous.
  • Titania compares it to adult indulgence in sugar and alcohol: even adults have trouble resisting addictive pleasures.

• Content Differences: Adult vs. Child Feeds

  • Kids’ social feeds are fundamentally more harmful than adults’.
    • "A kid's feed is way more harmful than an adult's feed. So adults aren't seeing eating disorder videos and suicide videos like kids are." – Nicki (11:47)
  • Titania underscores that content algorithms deliver children more problematic material:
    • "Your feed is different than not only your adult friend's feed from a content standpoint, but a child's feed... is continually problematic and unacceptable and unethical." – Titania (12:23)

• Ideal Tech Scenarios

  • Both guests reflect on how reducing or eliminating social media, even as adults, leads to greater well-being, with Titania wishing she could opt out if not for her career.

4. Ongoing Parental Conversations & Tech Education (13:46–14:41)

• Normalize Tech Conversations
  • Parents need to regularly discuss tech, just as they discuss other important topics (health, world events, etc.).
    • "Just like you talk about world events or the environment or healthy lifestyles... you gotta talk about tech too." – Titania (14:18)
  • Teaching kids how to recognize when tech is controlling them is crucial.

5. Gaming in Schools: Minecraft, Data Privacy, and Parental Rights (14:41–18:36)

• Is Minecraft in Schools Educational or Problematic?

  • Minecraft is being sold to schools as an “educational tool.”
  • Both hosts are skeptical, noting that much-hyped “educational” games (like Oregon Trail in their youth) may have limited value and shouldn’t substitute for real-world activities.

• Risks of Online Games at School

  • Open chat and access to strangers in platforms like Minecraft is a concern.
  • Even with limitations, there’s skepticism about full safety/security.

• Data Privacy & Parental Consent

  • Schools must legally have parental consent for kids to use Minecraft (and other edtech)—not something all parents know.
    • Quote:
      "Parents have to give consent for a minor to use Minecraft. And so...you can decline to give parental consent." – Nicki (17:38)
  • Schools often overlook or sidestep these requirements.

6. E-Bikes: "The New iPhone" for Kids? (20:18–24:16)

• E-Bikes as Status Symbols and Safety Issues

  • E-bikes are becoming the new status symbol, even for elementary students, raising safety and developmental concerns.
  • Nicki and Titania compare them to the social pressures around iPhones, noting that regular bikes are healthier and safer.

• Parental Fear of Exclusion vs. Safety

  • Many parents feel pressured to let their kids have devices/aids to avoid social exclusion, even at the cost of safety.
    • Quote:
      "Why does that feeling win? Why does that win over safety?" – Nicki (21:59)
  • Titania wishes she’d prioritized her child being 'left out' of certain tech trends:
    • "...prioritizing him not being left out of certain social norms was actually worse for him. And in fact, I should have prioritized him being left out..." (22:16)

• "Not My Kid" Syndrome

  • Parents often believe their child won’t fall victim to online dangers—a dangerous misconception.
    • "If only, like, 1% of children were harmed by something... But, like, per Bark's latest annual report... the percentages...are in the 8 to 70 percentile..." – Titania (24:16)

7. Kid-Safe Watches, School Policies & Practical Advice (24:47–32:00)

• Smartwatches as a Transitional Tool

  • Bark Watch and similar tech allow communication while delaying smartphone adoption, reducing exposure to harmful content.
  • Schools often have confusing or inconsistent policies—some let kids wear devices but ban their use, leading to mixed signals.

• When is a Kid Ready for a Smartwatch? (26:27–29:28)

  • Titania’s criteria:

    • Shows responsibility with other belongings.
    • Needs independence outside the home.
    • Understands basic digital safety.
    • Can manage chores/routines that suggest readiness for more responsibility.

  • "...you need for them to be able to communicate with you or caregiver or 911, it's a great idea." – Titania (26:46)

  • The Bark Watch has a phone number, and can be set to "school mode" to prevent distractions (29:06).

• Ongoing Product Improvement

  • Titania shares that Bark’s team continues to improve features like battery life and location accuracy; updates roll out to existing devices.

8. Positive Teen Testimonials and Breaking the "iPhone is Cool" Myth (30:48–32:45)

• Positive Feedback from Teens
  • Nicki shares a story about a 17-year-old who loves her Bark phone and plans to keep it into adulthood.
  • Both guests want to normalize alternatives to iPhones and show that safer devices can be just as sleek and functional.

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On Explaining "Predators":
  "I tend to use the term tricky person." – Titania (01:49)

• On Tech Boundaries:
  "If we're not careful, they'll keep us sitting still for too long. And if your body is blessed to be able to move, you've gotta move." – Titania (04:36)

• On Device Safety:
  "Give them the opportunity to succeed and show responsibility. And then if they don't, you know, it's not punitive, but it's just like, hey, this wasn't a success, so let's pause and then try again." – Titania (10:08)

• On Social Media Hypocrisy:
  "If you're an adult and you are actively using Instagram in front of your children while talking about the evils of social media, might be time for an about face." – Titania (11:01)

• On Parental Consent for Tech in Schools:
  "Parents have to give consent for a minor to use Minecraft...you can decline to give parental consent." – Nicki (17:38)

• On Social Pressure and Safety:
  "Prioritizing him not being left out of certain social norms was actually worse for him. And in fact, I should have prioritized him being left out..." – Titania (22:16)

• On Parenting for Resilience:
  "Your childhood shapes your entire life. What is more important than protecting childhood?" – Titania (23:56)

• On the Bark Watch:
  "When it is time for your child to be able to connect with trusted caregivers safely and you, the parent, have full control over who and when and what, that's when you can introduce safer tech." – Titania (27:53)

Timestamps for Important Segments

• 00:39 — Kids' questions about predators and the language we use
• 03:44 — Gaming vs. social media: similarities and dangers
• 07:16 — Why kids fear telling parents about online dangers
• 10:22 — "If Instagram is so bad, why does my mom love it?"
• 14:41 — Discussing tech with your child like any other safety/life issue
• 14:49–18:36 — Minecraft, schools, and data privacy/legal consent
• 20:18 — The rise of e-bikes and “not my kid” syndrome
• 26:27 — Readiness for smartwatches and how to roll them out safely
• 29:06 — How Bark Watch school mode works
• 30:48 — Teen testimonials and fighting the iPhone "cool factor" myth

Final Thoughts

The episode provides practical advice anchored in real kid experiences, debunks common tech myths, and encourages parents to proactively educate, communicate, and set boundaries. Titania and Nicki stress that while technology is an unavoidable part of childhood, it can—and must—be managed for safety, balance, and well-being. The conversation is candid, relatable, and filled with anecdotes and actionable guidance for parents navigating today’s digital landscape.