Self-Conscious with Chrissy Teigen

Episode: Elaine Welteroth: You Were Born Enough
Date: March 12, 2026
Guests: Chrissy Teigen (Host), Elaine Welteroth (Guest)

Episode Overview

In this episode, Chrissy Teigen welcomes trailblazing journalist, author, and former Teen Vogue editor-in-chief Elaine Welteroth to discuss the origins and reclamation of self-worth. The central theme—“You were born enough. You don’t earn worth, you remember it.”—flows throughout their candid conversation. Teigen and Welteroth unpack the societal myth of inadequacy, reflect on pivotal childhood moments, explore what it means to perform for approval, and share actionable strategies for reclaiming authenticity, setting boundaries, and making empowered decisions.

Major Discussion Points & Key Insights

1. The “Born Enough” Myth

• Elaine’s Core Message:
  “You were born enough. You don't earn worth, you remember it.” (00:30, Elaine)
  The pressure to strive, perform, and “deserve” (beauty, opportunities, respect) is drilled into us by society, and yet—Welteroth asserts—our sense of worth is innate, not earned.

• The Shattering of Childhood Confidence:
  “A girl's confidence peaks at age nine.” (03:18, Elaine)
  The hosts discuss how, after age nine, societal messaging and invisibility begin to chip away at a girl’s inherent confidence. Welteroth reflects on raising her own child with this awareness.

Notable Quote:

“Protect that little girl’s heart and mind and spirit.” (03:35, Elaine)

2. Representation & Early Identity

• Formative Memory in Preschool:
  Elaine recounts creating a collage family in preschool using magazine cutouts, realizing none looked like her or her actual family, leading her to cut out only white people to avoid feeling different.
  “I'm just gonna pretend to be white. So I started cutting out white people...” (05:32, Elaine)

• Her mother’s intervention:
  “We’re redoing this assignment.” (07:00, Elaine recounting her mother)
  Welteroth’s mom insisted on redoing the project using Ebony and Essence magazine images, validating Elaine’s identity and reinforcing pride.

Notable Quote:

“Even if the world doesn't show you reflections of that, we create our own reflections of who we are.” (08:06, Elaine)

3. Performance vs. Authenticity

• Chrissy’s Performative Childhood:
  Chrissy opens up about being shown off as a “trophy” by her mother, performing Thai words and generally seeking approval as a mixed child.
  “For an Asian woman... it was almost like a trophy.” (09:04, Chrissy)

• Welteroth on Performing for Approval:
  “It becomes tricky if that's where you are deriving your sense of worth: in other people's applause and praise.” (09:53, Elaine)
  She draws the distinction between being naturally performative and basing self-worth on external validation.

• Practical Tip:
  “Even at parties sometimes, go to the bathroom and just put your hand on your heart...It helps me come back to my core.” (10:19, Elaine)

Notable Quote:

“You can build an entire life, career, and identity that is hollow and unfulfilling if you are making these choices based on what other people find sexy, what other people think is cool, or what they respect.” (12:10, Elaine)

4. Pivotal Career Moments, Dream Chasing, & Burnout

• Rejecting Safe Success:
  Early in her career, Elaine had what many would see as a dream internship but realized it made her feel “like the smallest version of myself.”
  “I do not want to live the rest of my life feeling like the smallest version of myself…” (13:31, Elaine)

• Pursuing Scary Dreams:
  “I’m proud that she [my younger self] was able to say, like, out loud. My dream is so big it scares me, but I'm gonna say it anyway. I'm gonna chase it.” (15:08, Elaine)

5. Breaking the Glass Ceiling at Teen Vogue

• Taking the Reins at 29:
  “You became the youngest editor-in-chief in Conde Nast history.” (16:00, Chrissy)
  Welteroth recounts feelings of pride and pressure, navigating new dynamics as a young, Black woman.

• Transforming Teen Vogue:
  Instead of repeating the status quo, Elaine spotlighted activism, intersectionality, and Gen Z’s intelligence:
  “We started creating this intersectional magazine... bringing in different kinds of stories and content and people and perspectives without asking for permission.” (23:00, Elaine)

Notable Quote:

“Don’t ask for permission. Just be willing to apologize if you get in trouble.” (23:58, Elaine)

6. Leadership, Representation, and Public Scrutiny

• Risk-Taking as a Leader:
  Welteroth recounts a misstep: publishing a Teen Vogue braid story meant to represent Black women, which backfired due to colorism and representation issues.
  “There is intent and there is impact... Despite my good intentions, my impact was harmful.” (34:13, Elaine)

• Emotional Toll of Public Critique:
  Teigen asks if Elaine felt she could cry about the backlash.
  “I cried at home...I didn’t want to show that it hurt me.” (35:54–36:10, Elaine)

• Evolving Leadership:
  Looking back, Elaine wishes she’d leaned more into emotional, “feminine” leadership—being collaborative and vulnerable instead of maintaining a “stiff upper lip.”
  “There’s so much power in feminine leadership that is emotional by nature. There’s vulnerability, transparency, and it’s a collaborative approach.” (39:23, Elaine)

7. Toolkit: The “Hell Yes or Hell No” Decision Framework

(40:13–45:00)

• Elaine’s Process:
  • “If it’s not a hell yes, it’s a no—but sometimes it’s about figuring out how to get a no to a hell yes.” (41:03, Elaine)
  • Example: Initially said ‘no’ to Project Runway due to misalignment, but after negotiating her role and clarifying expectations, it became a ‘hell yes.’

Notable Quote:

“This is the part that gives you agency...sometimes the thing and how it’s presented to you is a no.” (41:13, Elaine)

Memorable Moments & Quotes

• On childhood confidence:
  "A girl's confidence peaks at age nine." (03:18, Elaine)

• On creating your own reflection:
  “We create our own reflections of who we are.” (08:06, Elaine)

• On leadership in tough moments:
  "There is intent and there is impact." (34:13, Elaine)

• On vulnerability in leadership:
  "There’s so much power in feminine leadership that is emotional by nature." (39:23, Elaine)

• On decision making:
  “If it’s not a hell yes, it’s a no—but sometimes... you can figure out how to get a no to a hell yes.” (41:03, Elaine)

Timestamps for Key Segments

| Timestamp | Segment/Topic | |-----------|-----------------------------------------------------------| | 00:30 | Central thesis: “You were born enough…” | | 03:18 | Confidence peaking at age nine | | 05:32 | Elaine’s preschool representation story | | 09:04 | Chrissy on being a “trophy” as a mixed-race child | | 09:53 | Performative approval vs. authenticity | | 13:31 | Rejecting safe-but-empty career moves | | 16:00 | Becoming Teen Vogue’s youngest editor-in-chief | | 23:00 | Reinventing Teen Vogue; don’t ask for permission | | 34:13 | “Intent vs. Impact”: Accountability after public misstep | | 39:23 | Value of vulnerability in leadership | | 41:03 | The 'Hell Yes or Hell No' decision-making tool |

Actionable Insights

• Reclaim worth by remembering, not earning, your "enoughness."
• Create personal frameworks to separate intrinsic desire from external validation.
• Representation matters: Actively curate environments—at home or work—where you see yourself reflected.
• Vulnerable, emotional, and collaborative leadership can be a strength, not a weakness.
• When making decisions, don’t just settle for a “no”—explore if you can negotiate conditions to reach a “hell yes.”

Recommended Listening:
Elaine Welteroth’s More Than Enough is available on Audible for deeper insights into her journey and philosophy.

Summary by Self-Conscious Podcast
For the full, empowering conversation, tune into the episode on Audible.