← Self-Conscious with Chrissy Teigen
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- [00:01]
A
All right, everybody. Keep your journey going and growing with all the experts on this podcast. From our guest bestsellers and newest releases to their podcasts and Audible originals, hear more from today's leading voices and well being. Go to audible.com chrissyonaudible you're listening to Self Conscious with Chrissy Teigen, an Audible original podcast. Join me as we explore the cutting edge of health, wellness, and personal growth with the world's leading experts and thinkers. From inspiring stories to actionable insights, our conversations aim to help you lead a healthier, happier, and more productive life. For centuries, thinkers, philosophers, and spiritual leaders have explored the idea that our thoughts and intentions can shape our reality. This concept, often referred to as manifestation, suggests that by aligning our energy and beliefs with our deepest desires, we can attract the life we envision. It's a powerful and transformative idea, offering the potential to unlock a life of abundance, joy, and fulfillment. Its core message is deceptively simple, that like attracts like. Meaning that by focusing on positive or negative thoughts, we bring positive or negative experiences into our lives. By aligning our thoughts and emotions with the frequency of what we desire, we attract those things into our reality. My next guest is a name synonymous with spiritual growth and the power of positive thinking. In her groundbreaking book, Super Methods for manifesting a life beyond your wildest dreams, Gabrielle Bernstein offers practical tools and insights to help us align with the universe and become magnets for what we truly want. Today, we will spotlight Gabrielle's teachings, exploring how her unique approach to manifestation and spirituality can help us live our best lives. We'll discuss the practical tools she offers in Super Attractor, the importance of emotional and energetic alignment, and how we can all learn to trust the process of the universe. Gabrielle Bernstein, welcome to Self Conscious. Thank you for being here, Chrissy.
- [02:08]
B
Thank you for having me. I'm so happy to be with you. So cool.
- [02:12]
A
So, first of all, I want to tell you, every girlfriend that I have has read one of your, what, nine books?
- [02:19]
B
I have 10 books.
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A
Ten books. Oh, my goodness. Holy cow. And so many New York Times bestsellers. I love my girlfriends and they so much believe in the things that you're saying. And so they were so excited to know that you were gonna be in my bedroom talking to me.
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B
I mean, I'm excited. I'm as excited.
- [02:39]
A
It's so amazing you have an origin story like John, too. Where? Well, not an origin, but the thing I think that really propelled you when Oprah gave the okay that you were incredible and amazing and someone that people needed to listen to because it really is so beautiful and so important and so wonderful. So thank you.
- [02:57]
B
I've been in this field, Chrissy, for 19 years. Like, I don't know how that happened because I started when I was 25. So, you know, being in New York City, as we were just talking about being. I was in the West Village at the time and just beginning talking about spirituality and personal development. I was newly sober in my early 20s, and I was just talking about my experiences at a time when this wasn't in the zeitgeist. Right. Like, nobody was gluten free, nobody was drinking green juice. But there was a long for a next generation interpreter of these principles. And so, yeah, it's been a journey and I'm so grateful to be the person who said yes to that.
- [03:37]
A
Super Attractor builds on the concept of manifestation. How would you describe your work to someone unfamiliar with the term?
- [03:45]
B
Let me keep it simple. That's my job. What we believe we manifest and the beliefs that we carry, young beliefs, storylines from our childhood build up the day to day thoughts and experiences that we create. And so we're carrying a belief system of lack, let's just say, like when I was growing up, my parents really struggled with money, so I built up a belief system of lack based on my childhood. And that momentum that we get behind these belief systems start to create an energy. And that energy is what we put out. And then that energy, energy that we put out is reflected back to us. And with the lack story, when I was in my early 20s, I just decided to change that lack story and said, I'm gonna have the abundance that I deserve for the great work that I do. And that shift for me radically changed my life. So we can in any moment redirect the course of our life when we have these belief systems that are adjusted. But changing the belief systems requires some work, requires some effort, requires some faith and alignment, which we're gonna talk about today.
- [04:48]
A
What was step, do you think, when you. Well, obviously getting sober and everything, but did you say you jumped into it really quickly or what did you learn first? What did you take in first? So I was brought up meditation.
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B
I was brought up super spiritual. So my mom brought me in and out of ashrams and I was like named by her gurus and I was gifted that seed of spirituality. It was planted at a very young age as I grew up and I started to turn my back on it and in my early 20s, started to use drugs and get really hooked into addiction. I knew in the back of my mind that there was this practice, that there was this energy. I had been a meditator from when I was 13 years old. And I knew that there was a non physical, I felt it physically, I could see spirit, I could see and feel. And so I turned my back on it. But I always knew it was there. Even when I was using. I had a stack of self help books next to my bed like Wayne Dyer and Louise Hay. And I would literally know that that was my path, but was doing the opposite. But when I dec to make the choice to get clean and sober, it's not like everything was fixed overnight. But that choice was enough to redirect my belief systems and therefore put more energy and momentum behind recovery, spiritual development, personal growth, and therefore manifest the life that I have today. So just to get back to your original question, what we focus on, we start to believe. And the beliefs that we have create an energy and that energy is reflected back to us. And that's what manifesting is.
- [06:17]
A
How does your philosophy differ from the Secret, which I was actually just going to bring up. Obviously that was such a huge, huge. What's the word? Not epidemic.
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B
It was like a. It was a huge. It was like a huge movement. It was a movement, yes. And the beautiful thing, it's funny because the Secret was quite big. Right. When I was first starting out in my career, it was really, really.
- [06:37]
A
I remember the logo. I remember everything coming at you.
- [06:39]
B
Yes. And the beautiful thing about what that film and that book offered the world was not some new idea, but a translation of a ancient truth. And you know, all of my teachers, many of which are no longer alive, that's what they'd been teaching forever. Right. So the thesis around the law of attraction was then demystified in this awesome book. And that book opened a door for people to see it as real. And I think that the thing I would say about that though is that being a super attractor, being a manifestor, is actually our natural inheritance. It's who we are. And we're always manifesting. The universe is always a yes for what we put out.
- [07:21]
A
What are the key principles of your book that listeners should focus on first?
- [07:25]
B
Well, first I think that we can't start realigning with our super attractor power until we recognize how we've blocked it. So being a super attractor doesn't mean we go out and do anything. It actually means that we release the blocks to the presence of what we already have. So how are we blocking our super attractor power? We're blocking it through judgment through self attack, through attacking others, we're blocking it. When we're thirsty for something and we're like, when I have that thing, then I'll be happy. And we're just trying to force something into being that completely blocks your Super Attractor power. When we recognize and witness those stories that are blocking us, that's the first step. So I know for myself, just being super controlling is a big way that I would block my Super Attractor power. So just witnessing it, okay, fear would be mine.
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A
I'm like a doomsdayer. I'm always waiting for the other shoe to drop. It makes me hesitant to start things because I'm fearful that I'm gonna lose it. I say no when I wanna say yes because I'm scared. It's fear.
- [08:28]
B
I think fear is the number one block to the presence of our Super Attractor power. And undoing fear is a journey. And I think that the world that we choose to live in, the way that we wake up every single day, is a journey of unlearning fear and remembering that super attractive power. But that's when we make that choice to say, yeah, I'm gonna be on a spiritual path. Yeah, I'm gonna have a personal growth practice. When we make those choices and we say that, and we say, I'm a yes for that, then we're gonna be on a journey.
- [08:57]
A
That makes me feel better that mine's number one, though.
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B
Yeah. Yeah. Number one, baby.
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A
Okay, so elaborate for me on how our emotional states directly influence the out we attract.
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B
So let's think about it like this. If you walk into a room and you're. This is you and the collective you listening, and your energy's super low vibe, and you're thinking about you doomsday, and you're judging yourself and do the people around you want to talk? No. Right? Do you open up to new possibilities for relationships in that moment, Are you gonna be the person that someone's drawn to, to connect to in the room? No, you're not. If you walk into a room and you're feeling really good about yourself and you're focused on being curious about others, and you're excited to be in the presence of people, or even if you're an introvert, but you're just like, I'm gonna ask people questions today and I'm gonna be in a good attitude, you're far more likely to create those deeper connections and relationships or open doors or whatever it might be. So the energy that we show up with, people often think, like, if I look this way, or if I have these credentials. Then the world will reflect that back to me. That's bullshit. If we show up and recognize that our presence is our power. That will always be reflected back to us. So the emotional scale that we choose to lean into. Is what will dictate what we get back. And so if we're stuck in despair, we're gonna create more of that. Now, I wanna be very clear. We can't go from despair to joy overnight. And I would never, ever want to encourage that. But we could go from despair to boredom. And maybe we could go from boredom to just sort of curiosity. We can start to build our way up this emotional scale. And this is actually a technique that my teachers, Abraham Hicks, have taught. It's called the emotional scale. And it's not trying to go from that deep despair to joy overnight. But it's recognizing that if you're in despair. But then, you know, your friend calls you, and they're like, let's, you know, let's go have some food. And you're like, okay, I'll try this new restaurant. That curiosity is the next step. You may still feel uncomfortable. But you're just taking a next step into a different emotion. And so as we go up the scale of these different emotions. We can start to guide our way out of that despair slowly. And recognizing also that bad emotions aren't a bad thing. And often we want to override them and push past them. But once again, I think that the real work is to witness them and be curious about them.
- [11:36]
A
You talk a lot about vibrational frequency. How would you explain this to someone who might be a little bit dubious of this concept?
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B
There's a lot of studies now and a lot of research on quantum physics. That when we change our belief systems, particles change. And when we have the consistent focus on a desire. That feels a certain way inside of us. And we're visualizing it and we're feeling into it. We start to change the way we feel, right? Just like we've been saying the whole time. If you wake up every day. And you turn to your phone and you just check out. And you're totally disconnected. You're gonna create a frequency that's pretty low vibe. Whereas if you wake up in the morning, you say your prayers. Or you do a little journaling. Or even just take a breath and you ground yourself. You're gonna start to adjust your energy and your frequency. And so the more that we attune our energy and our vibration. To a frequency that we desire to Positive thoughts, beliefs, feelings, connection, love. That frequency starts to change. And that frequency, when it changes, starts to bring more of its likeness back. So in Super Attractor, I write about the metaphysical in a way that I'd never written about before. And I talk about how I really push the spiritual envelope. And I started to really speak more about spirit guides and angels and deceased family members and trusting that there's a presence beyond our physical sight that's supporting us. So when we start to lean into what that means to us, I'm never pushing any ideas. That's the nice thing about my work, it's you choose your own adventure. I'm going to tell you my story and you lean into what works for you. But when I speak about tapping into that non physical presence, we start to notice that if we begin to collaborate with an energy beyond our physical sight, we feel far less alone. And we can recognize there is a presence of love that is within me and around me, that's guiding me, that's protecting me. And when I strengthen my faith in that presence, then I can trust my intuition, I can trust the signs I'm receiving. Maybe you just call it the universe, the energy of the Universe. You know, my most popular book is the Universe has yous Back. Why? Because when you even say those words, the Universe has yous Back, people remember that they have a connection to an energy.
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A
Yes, I've always thought it a bit in terms of energy or the universe. And then now you just talking about it, I'm like, oh, it could be more personal than that even.
- [14:18]
B
So not to trip you out, I just saw a spark of light above you. So that's just. I see guides. I mean, I am a medium as well. So I see. I mean, you see, my hand goes numb when I start to channel. But I'm not gonna just start channeling just cause that's out of respect to the people in the room. But the reality is, is that when I see sparks, that's oftentimes a sign that there's an angel or a guide above you. And so you just said before, I would like to know my guides. I wanna know that I have guides. Girlfriend, you just invoked your guides into the room. All it is is a slight willingness to say, I'd like to know more. I'm open. So one thing you could start to do, and this is also something your listeners could start to do starting today, is in those moments when you feel lost or you feel disconnected, or the moment that you wake up in the morning, just say, thank you universe. Or thank you, guides, or thank you, grandma, whatever you believe in for revealing to me what I need to know today. Or say thank you for helping me unfold the next right action in this problem I'm dealing with. What thank you says is an affirmation that it's already done.
- [15:23]
A
You really emphasize the importance of emotional and energetic alignment in manifesting all our desires. How do you think our listeners can achieve it?
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B
Emotional and energetic alignment is taking small daily actions towards feeling good. I would say this to a sponsee that's seven days sober, and I would say it to somebody who is completely living their best life. What is it that you're going to lean into every single day? Are you going to in the moment of the sponsee who's seven days sober? Okay, today the best you can do is just say a prayer. Today the best you can do is go to a meeting. Today the best you can do is brush your teeth. Great. Celebrate it. But it's a practice that's such a.
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A
Consistent thing that people say it's like the tiniest, smallest moments. I spoke to somebody yesterday that was like, man, just five minutes a day of breathing. Don't make it daunting, don't make it challenging, don't be scared of it. And you can just, you can do this. That's all you need to do. And then be proud of yourself of it. I think that if I were to do that, I'd be like, I only had five minutes to do it. So, like, I'm so used to that mindset of not patting myself on the back or congratulating myself for anything, even big wins. I don't. Yep, everybody says it's those little tiny changes that that can mean.
- [16:36]
B
It's the small stuff that actually redirects you. I was doing these seven minute coaching weekly coachings, and I was like, wait a second. People don't even want to do seven minutes of coaching. They want two minutes. And so I literally was like, I'm gonna record 365 days of two minute practices.
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A
And.
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B
And so it's. They open the app, they pick their affirmation card, I read it to them, and then I'm literally just like, here's a two minute practice. And the cool thing about it is if you just do that one practice daily, you've done your spiritual practice.
- [17:06]
A
I just learned about affirmation cards. A few weeks ago, I had a bunch of girlfriends with me and we all got a different card. It's incredible. You actually do feel like the one you pulled Is really meant for you.
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B
I brought you a deck. Really? Yeah. Can we get it?
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A
Oh, cool.
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B
I'm gonna pull a card for you, and I'll give you the reading on the card.
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I mean, the fact that you even knew that I would want if affirmation cards is, to me affirming that I need that.
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B
Honey. Here we are. Here we are.
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A
That's so cool.
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B
All right, so here we are, my love. We have. My Universe has your back deck. We are. I'm gonna have you put your energy into it. Okay. I'll have you hold the deck. And I want you to think right now, maybe something that's comfortable for you. Maybe just think it or say it, whatever you feel comfortable with. An area of your life where you're looking for some guidance and some support, and whatever card comes through is exactly what's meant for you. And you don't even have to ask about something specific. You could just say, thank you, universe, for revealing to me the message I need today. If you just put that out there. Thank you, universe, for revealing it to me. And you can shuffle it a little bit. Yeah, just shake it up and just put your energy into it and give yourself a chance to just open up to what might come through. And then when you're ready, you can just pick any card that comes out. Any card that comes through. No pressure.
- [18:25]
A
I put pressure on everything. It's ridiculous.
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B
Okay, let's see what this card is.
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A
Thank you, universe, for helping me see beyond the limits of fear. Thank you for expanding my perception so that I can see what is of the highest good.
- [18:39]
B
Are you fucking kidding me right now? Did you not just say before? Let me see your card. Let me interpret this card for you. So let's unpack this, because when we first started, you said, oh, fear is my biggest block. To my super attractor power. You've said, I want to have guidance. You've said, I'm open. I'm looking for support. These are all requests that you've sent out to the universe in this one conversation. Boom. Look at the card. You pick. Thank you, universe, for helping me see beyond the limits of fear. I'm gonna cry. Thank you for expanding my perception so that I can see what is of the highest good. This is the perfect card for you. This is. I want you to put this, like, on your mirror. I want you to look at this every single day. This is the absolute, most beautifully divinely planted card. It really is for you.
- [19:37]
A
And now for the chocolate toolkit. Each episode, our guests distill their Expertise into practical and actionable insights. Today, Gabrielle Bernstein shares some key practices for becoming a super attractor in your daily life.
- [19:49]
B
Why don't we do a visualization meditation together? Yes, okay. And manifesting that peace and that freedom from that fear. Let's do that. Because that's been the theme here. So you can sit cross legged, whatever your. Whatever's comfortable for you. And I like to, when I meditate, place my palms facing upward. I don't want to get my shoes on your pretty chair.
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A
Girl Scouts sit here.
- [20:14]
B
Yeah, Girl Scouts. So let's place our palms facing upward. If you're driving listeners, practice this later. And just roll your shoulders up back and maybe tuck your chin under and just feel that alignment in your spine. Get that body into alignment. Maybe roll your neck side to side, taking a deep breath in. And on the inhale, I want you to extend your diaphragm and fill it up like a balloon. And on the exhale, let that breath, breathing in, allowing that diaphragm to extend. And on the exhale, let's let that go. Taking another deep breath in, extending your diaphragm, let it go. And at your own pace, just keep working with that cycle of breath, of deeply breathing into your belly. And on the exhale, relaxing your belly, relaxing your jaw, relaxing your face, relaxing your shoulders, releasing tension in your body with each breath. We'll first call on the energy of the universe. Thank you universe for revealing to us visions of inner peace or physical peace. What does that inner peace and freedom look like? Just as you breathe, let your mind wander each breath just noticing how your body's shifting and opening up your creative capacity to sense into. What does inner peace feel like in your body? What would it feel like? What areas of your body might be relaxed? Just take a moment to notice any area in your body where you feel any tension and take a deep breath and send breath to that part of your body. Breathe it in and let it go. Notice yourself physically in a place that feels safe for you. Whether it's your bed or maybe it's your grass on your lawn, or maybe it's a place from your past what feels like a safe place for you. And in your mind's eye, see yourself there. Breathe into that image and on the exhale, let that go and allow your mind to wander. Now, seeing yourself in that safe place, becoming more and more comfortable, more and more relaxed, breathing into that feeling of relaxation, deeply breathing in and let that go. Noticing what feelings and sensations come over you as you visualize yourself in this Relaxed, safe place. And breathe into the area of your body where you feel those feelings. Let that go. Just let your mind wander as you start to develop that vision, that safe, peaceful place, take note of what it feels like physically. Notice a shift in your breath. Notice a relief release of any physical tension. Notice any sensations of inner peace. Now give that sensation of inner peace more breath and another deep breath. Make a gentle commitment to yourself now that you'll come back to this place of safety, this vision that you're holding, that through your breath you'll return to the feeling of that safety. Whenever you feel desire to feel that religion release and feel that connection, to know that even if you slightly touched into that vision of safety and inner freedom, that that's enough. Even the slightest sensation or image or thought is enough that you can come back to this practice anytime. If you want to continue to hold the vision, just allow the music to guide you as you breathe in deeply and exhale completely, carrying this vision of inner peace into your sensations, into your somatic experience and into your mind. The more you return to this, the more you can allow that vision of inner peace to expand. For right now, Chrissy, let's take one last deep breath in and let it go. Bottle that vision and that feeling inside and we'll come back to it. When you're ready, you can open your eyes.
- [26:25]
A
I felt like a tingly, like, crawl from my, like, right ear and the back of my head. Just like a nice, maybe an angel.
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B
It's your guides.
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A
I never feel that, ever.
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B
The presence of our guides, the presence of the energy of the universe, your angels are always here, but we have to be in alignment with their frequency to feel it or to hear it or to see it. And so through meditative practice and through breath, you adjust your frequency and then you match theirs. And that's when you can feel them touch your hair.
- [27:02]
A
Yeah, it was like the sweetest, like, little tingle.
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B
Yep.
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And it moved too. It wasn't just like, oh, my whole head's tingling.
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It was like, yep. Like, that's when my hands go numb. They're tingling. It's your extremities tingle. Yep. You got guides, girlfriend. Best job ever.
- [27:20]
A
Can you give me an exercise that will help shift me from a negative thought to a positive thought?
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B
So there's a real foundational tool in Super Attractor that is called the Choose Again method. This is a practice that I recommend listeners use on a daily basis. And even if you practice this once a day, it will change your life. And it's to Notice that fear based thought that you have on repeat. So we all have got many or one in particular. Whatever's up for you that day. Notice that fear based thought and just notice what it makes you feel like. Just notice where you feel it in your body. That's step one. Step two is to forgive yourself for having that thought. It's just a thought you keep thinking. It's not who you are. It's just. And you don't need to judge it. You can say, oh, I forgive it. That's just a thought that I keep thinking. I forgive myself or I forgive that thought. It's a thought I keep thinking. Then the third step is to choose the next best feeling thought. Choose again. So an example could be I talk a lot and I'm a motivational speaker and I'm talking and I'm also just talk a lot in life. And my vocal cords are like right now I'm just noticing for myself what's the one fearful thought like, oh, my chords sound, my voice sounds a little rough and I've been traveling and so you could easily go into the fear of that. Oh, my voice, my voice, my voice. So if I was to practice the choose again method, I would notice the thought. My voice is scratchy. I'm nervous about that. And just notice it doesn't make me feel very good. Just notice it and forgive myself for having the thought. That's a thought that I keep thinking and I'm going to choose again. So the next best feeling thought isn't my vocal cords are perfect. Because that's not something I would believe right now. But the next feeling thought could be. Well, I have a really good vocal coach and I have a 15 minute audio that he gave me that I can do every single day to really help my vocal cords. And you know what? This afternoon I'm gonna lie down and I'm gonna do it. And that's a small step. And see, I'm reaching for the next thought. And that's a small step towards taking some action with my vocal cords. And after I have this conversation with I'm going to the next thought. After my conversation with Chrissy, I'll go have some hot water with lemon and I'll have some honey. And then you know what? I'll make a commitment to do 40 days of my 15 minute vocal exercises. And in 40 days, I know that I'll always want more and more seems reaching, reaching, reaching my way to a next best feeling thought. And so I give momentum to the better feeling thoughts rather than Letting that negative thought of, oh my God, I'm not gonna have a voice in five years take over me. And I also made a commitment just now to you and everybody listening that for 40 days I was gonna do my vocal exercises. As I look at John Legend behind.
- [30:02]
A
Me, we are no strangers to freaking out about voices over here. I'll get you some throat coat after.
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B
Okay, I'll take some throat coat.
- [30:10]
A
And also, those negative thoughts only spiral into more negative thoughts too. You're not gonn. I mean, it becomes just an endless pit.
- [30:17]
B
So they take on momentum. And so what this three step practice does is it redirects the focus of your thoughts and lovingly and gently because you're forgiving the thought, right? You're noticing, you're forgiving and you're choosing. Noticing it is the step that just gets you to a place where you can actually do it. Forgiving yourself for having that thought gives you the compassion that you need to choose again. And then just reaching for that next best feeling thought, you know, you could be in fear and you could notice it and then you could forgive the thought and then the next best feeling thought could be, oh, well, Gabby Bernstein told me I could pick a card and I'm going to pick a card right now. And she told me that it's small steps, not big steps.
- [31:00]
A
Gabby Bernstein, I want to thank you for joining me on Self Conscious. Gabby Bobby Bernstein's super attractor methods for manifesting a life beyond your wildest dreams is available now on Audible. Until then, tune in, turn on and feel better. This is Chrissy Teigen and you've been listening to Self Conscious, an Audible original podcast. This has been an Audible original produced by Audible and Huntley Productions, hosted by Chrissy Teigen, executive producer for Huntley Productions. Chrissy Teigen, Executive producer for Audible Stacy Creamer Recorded and engineered by Alex Skye Mixed and mastered by Jeremiah Zimmerman Edited by Lisa Orkin Head of Creative Development at Audible Kate Navin Chief Content Officer Rachel Giazza Copyright 2024 by Audible Originals, LLC. Sound Recording Copyright 2024 by Audible Originals LLC. See.