Mary Beth Barone

Summary

Podcast Summary: Senses Working Overtime with David Cross – Episode featuring Mary Beth Barone

Release Date: October 31, 2024
Host: David Cross
Guest: Mary Beth Barone
Podcast Platform: Headgum

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1. Warm Welcome and Casual Banter (00:02 - 00:40)

The episode kicks off with a friendly introduction between host David Cross and guest Mary Beth Barone. Their initial conversation revolves around the comfort of podcast chairs, setting a relaxed and personable tone for the episode.

• Mary Beth Barone (00:02): “This is a Headgum podcast. Hi, I'm Mary Beth.”
• David Cross (00:36): “You. I will give you your choice.”

2. Navigating Social Media and Technology (03:35 - 05:54)

David and Mary Beth delve into the frustrations of modern technology, particularly the overwhelm caused by incessant notifications and the challenges of adapting to platforms like TikTok.

• David Cross (03:35): “I have two friends who will... send six things in a row back to back to back to back. It’s just like put it in one fucking thing.”
• Mary Beth Barone (05:27): “Have you ever given them a stern talking to?”

3. Insights into Touring Life (05:55 - 07:10)

David shares details about his current tour, highlighting the constant travel and the unpredictability of tour locations. He humorously mentions the possibility of being in various cities simultaneously.

• David Cross (06:46): “I could be in Austria or Cologne, I don’t know... looking on my schedule to see where I am on tour.”

4. Love for New York vs. Aversion to Los Angeles (07:11 - 14:08)

A significant portion of the conversation centers on why David prefers living in New York over Los Angeles. He praises New York’s vibrant human interactions, diverse neighborhoods, and the city's resilience, contrasting it with his disdain for LA’s climate and lifestyle.

• David Cross (11:05): “But I just don’t understand the appeal. And again, every Single place that I wouldn’t want to live has its place within it that I like.”
• Mary Beth Barone (12:34): “I’ve been here now for 20, almost 24 years... I love it.”

5. Political Climate and Personal Experiences (14:09 - 49:55)

David and Mary Beth engage in a candid discussion about the current political tensions in the United States. David expresses deep concerns about the influence of former President Trump, the polarization evident in New York’s surroundings, and the impact of social media on societal divisions.

• David Cross (33:23): “So do you feel like, I guess also you were more like when I was, when I was a kid in the 90s...”
• Mary Beth Barone (39:54): “And they require money that could be funneled towards like, militarization.”

6. Personal Anecdote: Subway Altercation (26:21 - 29:22)

Mary Beth recounts a personal experience of a verbal confrontation on the subway, highlighting the often misunderstood and harsh perception of New Yorkers. This story underscores the underlying tensions exacerbated by the current political climate.

• Mary Beth Barone (26:22): “It was with a man... he said, you just kicked me. Are you not gonna say anything?”
• David Cross (28:15): “New York is changing.”

7. Stand-Up Comedy Process and Creative Challenges (60:02 - 66:55)

David provides an inside look into his stand-up comedy routine, detailing his method of crafting material, the challenges of maintaining originality, and the meticulous process of performing across various venues. He emphasizes the importance of interacting with the audience and adapting his style to different settings.

• David Cross (64:39): “I've been doing this for the last four tours...”
• Mary Beth Barone (64:07): “Like you've been a stand up for years and years. So do you ever get nervous that you'll just stop being funny?”

8. Family Life and Shared Interests (56:07 - 63:43)

The conversation shifts to personal life, where David shares heartwarming stories about his daughter’s budding interests in comedy and baseball card collecting. They discuss the joys and challenges of parenting, nurturing creativity, and balancing family activities with professional commitments.

• Mary Beth Barone (53:25): “Have you guys shown her Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants yet?”
• David Cross (59:49): “But you have the visual aspect of watching it. You have the sound right.”

9. Humor and Light-Hearted Banter (71:09 - 79:54)

The episode concludes with a mix of humor and playful teasing. Mary Beth playfully criticizes David’s fictional hobby of shooting down hot air balloons, while David offers amusing anecdotes about his interactions with his daughter and his comedic inspirations.

• Mary Beth Barone (72:07): “David Cross heard it here first.”
• David Cross (79:22): “It really can.”

10. Closing Remarks and Future Plans (76:10 - 79:54)

Both David and Mary Beth share their upcoming plans, including tour dates and future projects. Mary Beth encourages listeners to attend her shows, while David humorously reiterates his commitment to stand-up comedy.

• Mary Beth Barone (76:10): “I hope to see you out there. I can't wait.”
• David Cross (78:38): “Oh, my God. It was so ridiculous because it's so good.”

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Notable Quotes:

• Mary Beth Barone (26:22): “It was with a man. And it... he said, you just kicked me. Are you not gonna say anything?”
• David Cross (33:23): “So do you feel like...”
• Mary Beth Barone (64:07): “Like you've been a stand up for years and years. So do you ever get nervous that you'll just stop being funny?”

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Conclusion

In this episode of Senses Working Overtime with David Cross, the conversation seamlessly transitions from light-hearted banter to deep dives into personal experiences and societal issues. David Cross and Mary Beth Barone offer listeners a blend of humor, candid discussions, and heartfelt stories, making it a compelling listen for both fans and newcomers alike.

Transcript

[Mary Beth Barone]

This is a headgum podcast. Hi, I'm Mary Beth.

[David Cross]

Hi, Mary Beth.

[Mary Beth Barone]

So good to meet you.

[David Cross]

You as well.

[Mary Beth Barone]

How's it going?

[David Cross]

Good.

[Mary Beth Barone]

Should I be here or there?

[David Cross]

You. I will give you your choice.

[Mary Beth Barone]

Yeah, this is good.

[David Cross]

You know what's interesting is, Emma, you swapped the chair so that there's not a color option.

[Mary Beth Barone]

I know there's not a color option because that's fine.

[David Cross]

I don't care.

[Mary Beth Barone]

But these were deemed more comfortable. I'll always take the comfy option.

[David Cross]

You might want some ice in there.

[Mary Beth Barone]

That's okay. I'm wearing a tube top, so I'll just get cold.

[David Cross]

There's literally nothing wrong with this.

[Mary Beth Barone]

It's not coming from me.

[David Cross]

Okay, but is that more right, though? You know what? It's softer right here where it counts on a man.

[Mary Beth Barone]

I like a little pillow for that support.

[David Cross]

Oh, there you go.

[Mary Beth Barone]

Let me take my shoes off.

[David Cross]

So you've got double support. I'm sorry, what?

[Mary Beth Barone]

I might take my shoes off and.

[David Cross]

You might not take.

[Mary Beth Barone]

And I might not. So it depends on how I'm feeling in the moment.

[David Cross]

I mean, I want to keep your.

[Mary Beth Barone]

Feet been all over. All over? No, I just. Sometimes I like to cross my legs while I sit.

[David Cross]

You got pants on.

[Mary Beth Barone]

I know, but so what does a shoe.

[David Cross]

Why does having a shoe matter whether you cross your legs?

[Mary Beth Barone]

Then I'll put my shoe. Oh, no, I mean, like crisscross applesauce.

[David Cross]

Oh, like Indian style.

[Mary Beth Barone]

Yeah.

[David Cross]

Sorry.

[Mary Beth Barone]

Native American anymore? Yes.

[David Cross]

I'm sorry. First. First American style.

[Mary Beth Barone]

Heritage.

[David Cross]

First heritage.

[Mary Beth Barone]

Yes.

[David Cross]

Right. Oh, God.

[Mary Beth Barone]

But who knows? Who's to say?

[David Cross]

Canceled and uncanceled and canceled again.

[Mary Beth Barone]

I'll wait for the apology.

[David Cross]

Okay, well, yeah, go ahead then. I just. I was concerned that it would smell.

[Mary Beth Barone]

Oh, no, no, no. I don't have any. If my feet smell like had a smell, I would never take my shoes off around anyone, even if I was married to the person.

[David Cross]

But what if you can't really. What if you've gotten so used to it almost like, you know. You know, you get used to your own funk or body odor and it's not as jarring and upse to you as to others.

[Mary Beth Barone]

I think I'm friends with a lot of gay guys, so if my feet smelled, they would tell me. They're the only honest people we have left. I feel so.

[David Cross]

That's not what I was gonna say. I'm not gay. But I will tell you.

[Mary Beth Barone]

You would tell me. That's.

[David Cross]

That's good. Unless that makes me gay. Emma. Some.

[Mary Beth Barone]

Only Emma can Answer that.

[David Cross]

Walls are being crumbled, taken down.

[Mary Beth Barone]

Also, I don't know the framing, but if it's anything lower, I will look naked. You know what I mean? Yeah, no, you're okay. We even have your waist. Okay, great.

[David Cross]

Perfect. I would like to do one shot where it looks like she's. She just came out of the sauna.

[Mary Beth Barone]

I'm only wrapping her up.

[David Cross]

Like that?

[Emma Foley]

Yeah.

[Mary Beth Barone]

I'll put it in a little bun. Do you do headphones on or headphones off?

[David Cross]

I don't wear them. You're welcome to wear them.

[Mary Beth Barone]

I actually prefer to not wear them, so that's a relief.

[David Cross]

And Emma, just so you know, I don't want you to be disappointed, I've changed the tone. The alert tone on my. My notification tone. It was driving me nuts. Everybody loves it. Haha. That's funny.

[Mary Beth Barone]

What was it?

[David Cross]

Sad trombone, but it's. Yeah. So I'll let the audience know that it's just a. It's a less annoying sound because I get a lot of alerts and texts and I'd say 50% of them are not necessary and.

[Mary Beth Barone]

Yeah.

[Emma Foley]

And also.

[David Cross]

I have two friends who will. It's indefensible, but they will send six things in a row back to back to back to back. It's just like put it in one fucking thing. I know, I know because I'm working and I don't. Just don't hit send.

[Mary Beth Barone]

Then you have a badge that says like seven instead of a badge that says one.

[David Cross]

Well, I don't. I have a Android, so I don't have the badge. But I. I also don't need the badge. That's just extra information I'm not gonna be able to do anything with. Is it one thing to look at or. So it doesn't matter. Yeah. And. But I. Two friends who do that and then I'll. I will. I've been doing this for years and they still. They know. They know I'm doing it intentionally and. Because they'll write, haha, fuck you, asshole. But I will write back like, oh, Newman, hey, I didn't even think of that. That. Speaking of which, do, you know, whatever. And I'll just keep sending them. They're like, ah, fucker. And they'll still do it. It's been going on for years.

[Mary Beth Barone]

Have you ever given them a stern talking to? Or like, do they know that it actually bothers you or do they think.

[David Cross]

It'S just a. Oh, yeah, yeah. No, I mean the, the. The. I think the first. Maybe first two, three times it'll be like, hey, you can just send this in one message. You don't have to send because it's not like there's any kind of time gap. It's. It's six in a row.

[Mary Beth Barone]

Yeah.

[David Cross]

And I don't like it. I don't like texting.

[Mary Beth Barone]

Me neither.

[David Cross]

I don't like any of that. And you know, I, I'm. I'm really have settled in quite nicely to a grumpy old man. Like, I don't want to say anti tech, but I just don't like. I just got on TikTok for the. I didn't get on it. I. I had to. There's a person who does social media stuff for me. I'm on tour right now. Yeah. Oh, speaking of which, Mary Beth, I don't know if you know this, but I'm on tour currently. While, while. While everyone's listening to this and watching it right now, I don't know if I'm in Ann Arbor. Am I in Mount Holyoke? I don't know if I'm in Monson, Pennsylvania. I could be in Winnipeg.

[Mary Beth Barone]

Edmonton? You're going to Winnipeg?

[David Cross]

I am going to Winnipeg. That's cool. I could be in Austria or Cologne, I don't know. But there's one way to find out and that's going to officialdavidcross.com and looking on my schedule to see where I am on tour.

[Mary Beth Barone]

Yes.

[David Cross]

As this is coming out.

[Mary Beth Barone]

Are we recording?

[David Cross]

Yeah.

[Mary Beth Barone]

Oh, okay. Great.

[David Cross]

Yeah, we. Since you walked in, I didn't know that. Great.

[Mary Beth Barone]

Official david.com.

[David Cross]

Yeah. Now why was I. Oh, TikTok. So I have a person who does social media things to help get the word out. And, and she's much younger which is why in part that I hired her. And, and she's great. But she sent me a thing like hey, the kids love TikTok, you know, and all this stuff. And I think this would resonate with, you know, Generation Z and all that stuff. And in order to access what she was talking about, I had to download TikTok. I was in the car, we were driving, me and Sean Patton. Do you know Sean? So Sean's opening up again. Third tour. Well, second tour, third special, whatever. And me, him and the tour manager were driving. It's like a six hour drive right to San Antonio or some other disappointing place. But have you been to San Antonio?

[Mary Beth Barone]

I have not.

[David Cross]

Oh man.

[Mary Beth Barone]

Disappointing.

[David Cross]

The show is great. The show was awesome. The people were great. The venue, a newish venue called Stable Hall. Great. The people owned it. Everything was Great. Except the city is a bummer, which I would say about most of Texas. You know, I love Austin and I have great shows. I have good shows. You know, Houston, Dallas, Austin, and now this time. San Antonio was my first time there. Shows are great. Really. Have fun. And the places aren't. They're fun for a day or two. You know, Austin's great across the board. I love Austin, but it's just one of those places, especially when it's, you know, it's late September and it's 98 degrees for the fifth day in a row, you know, 100% humidity. Like, who the. Why? Why? And I came from Phoenix to Texas and you're going like, God, thank God I get out of Phoenix. What? Oh, no. And it's literally, you know, jumping from the frying pan into the fire. And I just don't. I don't get it.

[Mary Beth Barone]

I feel like, I mean, maybe not in our lifetime, but I think a lot of. Maybe not a lot, but I'm thinking more and more about how some areas will become unlivable kind of soonish, like on, on the grand scale. Like, sure. Places we've dwelled for a long time will just not be livable if it's going to be these extreme temperatures and stuff in Phoenix.

[David Cross]

And I, like, have a joke about it, but it's not a joke. It's. And it's. It's just an observation, but it's. It's. When you walk around, like downtown Phoenix, right. They have all those misters, every restaurant, every patio, every the outside of buildings, they have these things. Every hotel, they have these things that are shooting out like a fine mist of. And it's not even about comfort. It's like, oh, that's so you don't die.

[Mary Beth Barone]

Right.

[David Cross]

And it's one of the fastest growing cities in America. It is Phoenix, huge. And I looked up, I googled what their main jobs are there. Like, why are people there? Is it. It's not a university town necessarily. It's not, you know, they don't, you know, seatt as Boeing and aerospace. And you can look at different cities and go, okay, this is what the base economy is, and it's just manufacturing. That's their number one. So what.

[Mary Beth Barone]

Huh. I wouldn't. Yeah. That feels almost like of a different era that, like there's a booming city built around manufacturing.

[David Cross]

Yeah. I mean, it's big.

[Mary Beth Barone]

People are moving there in droves.

[David Cross]

And, and it's. I just, I don't, I just don't understand the appeal. And again, every Single place that I wouldn't want to live has its place within it that I like. Oh, that's a fun section. That's the East Village of Houston. You know, this is really cool. Arts district in Phoenix. You know, every place has that. But still, like, I don't, I just don't understand why you would live somewhere where a bunch of people die because of the weather all the time.

[Mary Beth Barone]

I mean, I find it as someone that has lived in New York for 12 years, I, I, I don't know how anyone, obviously a lot of people would hate to live here, but to me, any city I go to, I'm like, I don't know how you could live here when New York exists. Like, even if people weren't dying from extreme heat, like, how, how?

[David Cross]

Well, they just haven't made it to the mister. They got out, they were trying to get there, they got off the bus.

[Mary Beth Barone]

They didn't make it.

[David Cross]

And they just, for whatever reason, had rolled their ankle a week prior. So they didn't, were in a. And they just didn't get to the mister in time. You know, that happens daily.

[Mary Beth Barone]

Yeah. And my heart goes out to all those affected, but I, Yeah.

[David Cross]

Where are you from originally?

[Mary Beth Barone]

I'm from Connecticut, so just outside New York. And I always knew I wanted to live here. And then when I moved here now I just, I can't imagine living anywhere else long term, short term for doing projects or filming things.

[David Cross]

I'm 100%, but yeah.

[Mary Beth Barone]

How long have you lived here?

[David Cross]

I've been here now for 20, almost 24 years and had been coming here. I lived in Boston, I lived in LA prior to here, and then Boston prior to la, and even in Atlanta before Boston, but always had, I had extended family here and I was always coming here and I knew very, very early on that I would end up in New York. I wanted to. Georgia was not, I mean, I knew when I was a kid like, this isn't my forever home. And, and the more I travel again, I can find something to appreciate, appreciate about every, every place I go. But, and I've been to, you know, almost everywhere, multiple times. But I also, the more I'm on the road, the more I'm like, I'm so lucky that I get to live in New York. I, and again, I, I totally get why people wouldn't like it. I don't have that mindset, but I, it's not a mystery to me, but, but I just, I love it. I feel so lucky.

[Mary Beth Barone]

Me too. And so I'm sure over the Years. Or I guess I would assume, being in showbiz, have you ever even been tempted to move to LA?

[David Cross]

1 rule we have here is we don't say show biz, we say show business.

[Mary Beth Barone]

Show business, yes. Okay.

[David Cross]

And I'm so sorry. Apologies.

[Mary Beth Barone]

Yeah. I did not get read the rules when I got here just to say.

[David Cross]

So did Mary Beth not get the sheet?

[Mary Beth Barone]

I didn't get the one pager about terminology. Hopefully I don't speak out of turn again, but if I do, that's another one.

[David Cross]

When we don't say speak out of turn, we say made a verbal whoopsie.

[Mary Beth Barone]

Made a verbal whoopsie. Okay, well, if I do, I'm so. I love feedback, so.

[David Cross]

Okay, we don't. All right, this is ridiculous. We gotta get her this thing. You don't say feedback. What is it? You lean into your thrivingness.

[Mary Beth Barone]

Okay, this is a lot to remember on the fly, but.

[David Cross]

Okay. We don't. Sorry, that's another one on the fly. We don't say on the fly. We say on the zip dee doo.

[Mary Beth Barone]

We can make it work. Make. Is. Make it work acceptable?

[David Cross]

Yeah, of course. Why wouldn't it be? Why wouldn't it be. Now you're insulting me. Why would.

[Mary Beth Barone]

It's good. All I will say is it's good to be on a podcast where there are some rules.

[David Cross]

She called it a podcast. What the fuck? All right, go ahead.

[Mary Beth Barone]

It's good to be on some. It's good to be on a podcast where there are some rules, there's some limitations, some boundaries.

[David Cross]

Yeah.

[Mary Beth Barone]

Everyone just ex military right here. Yeah. What arm were you in? What sect of the military?

[David Cross]

Oh, not me. I was pointing behind me.

[Mary Beth Barone]

Oh, okay.

[David Cross]

Yeah, I was pointing like this. It looks like I'm pointing to me.

[Mary Beth Barone]

But it's pointing at the.

[David Cross]

There's a couple building. Not buildings, offices. Down where there's a naval recruiting thing. Yeah.

[Mary Beth Barone]

And I salute them.

[David Cross]

Literally or figuratively?

[Mary Beth Barone]

Both.

[David Cross]

Oh, nice.

[Mary Beth Barone]

The listeners can't see, but I'm saluting right now.

[David Cross]

Good for you. Yeah, but the viewers.

[Mary Beth Barone]

And if you say I'm not, you're not believing women.

[David Cross]

So my wife will have something to say about that. Something you. What were we talking about? Living in New York.

[Mary Beth Barone]

Have you ever been to New York?

[David Cross]

You had asked me. You started asking me until I rudely interrupted you with my riff.

[Mary Beth Barone]

Have you ever been tempted to move to LA?

[David Cross]

I lived in LA, but since, like.

[Mary Beth Barone]

In the last 20, 24 years.

[David Cross]

No, I. My. In a nutshell, I. I don't care for la. There are Many things I like, I can, I can find within it to do and to entertain myself. I have tons of friends there and there's good food and the comedy scene is great. I mean, I would say it, you know, only New York and there. And sometimes I say LA is even better than New York, the comedy sc. But it's very depressing to me and I don't care about the things that people do like about la, like the weather's always great and there's a beach and you know, there's the hills and I just don't care about those things. I get why other people do, but I don't. And I like to walk around, I don't like to have to drive, I like the transportation system here, I like walking, I ride my bike everywhere. I can also see New York through my daughter's eyes now and that is exciting. And I mean, it's just LA is one of those places that I can again find things to do to entertain myself. The comedy scene is fantastic, the audiences are great, but I would not, I mean, that's way down on my list of places if I had to live somewhere. So I'd say New York at the top, just below it, almost tied, but just below is London. And then I would say you have a second tier which is like Chicago, Seattle, the places I love, you know, but I just wouldn't move away from New York, you know. And if shit turns really, really ugly, which it very well could in this country, you're kind of in a bubble here in New York. You're not going to be affected and my daughter is not going to be affected. You know, it's, it's, excuse me, it's the safest big city in the United States by far. And I, I just, this is where I'd want to raise a kid. So yeah, I, I, and I knew when I was in la, my little tossed off joke was like, I moved to LA to make enough money to move away from la. And I knew when I had an opportunity and I really did jump on it. It was a, it was a little rash. Not rash, but impetuous. Because I always knew that I wanted to leave. And then I found myself in 2001 where I had no project lined up. I finished a project in March and I had nothing lined up. And I literally was like, okay, if I don't leave now, I will not leave again for another year. Two years, three years. So I got a sublet for three months and I packed a bunch of stuff that would fit in a U haul van. Gave everything else away, drove it out here. I actually, I gave a friend money because I ended up getting some. I got a couple of college gigs and. And so by the time I. And I got an apartment and. Oh, I know what it was. No, I came here with just like a suitcase to the sublet which was in the West Village and then looked for a place, found a place, then went on the road and had the van brought out here. Something like that.

[Mary Beth Barone]

And the rest is history.

[David Cross]

I like to say herstory to mix it up.

[Mary Beth Barone]

Wow, such a progressive. Thank you very much you're creating here.

[David Cross]

Thank you.

[Mary Beth Barone]

I totally agree about la. I think it's what I love about. What I love most about LA is leaving. I love going there and missing New York so deeply that when I come back I have a period of time where I'm just so grateful. And I'm always grateful when I'm here. But when I see the lifestyle in la, it just makes me so excited to go home. And then anything that would maybe bother me day to day, I just let it roll off my back. Cause I'm like, at least I'm not in la.

[David Cross]

Yeah. I think it's also better for me as a standup comedian. I think my stand up, my observation skills are different in LA because. And I think for most people a lot of your day to day is, you know, you're in this box and then you go out to the driveway, get in another box, drive that box to another box where you work, you'll have, a lot of times you'll have lunch delivered in and then most of the time you get back in your other box and drive to your other box. And you just don't interact with many people on a day to day basis. And some people go, hey, school drop off, there's a ton of clowns there, you know, whatever. But I. You just see and experience more of humanity in New York and that's bet better for my standup, I think. Am I right?

[Mary Beth Barone]

I definitely agree with that.

[Emma Foley]

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[David Cross]

If I was going to.

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[David Cross]

Where the dams come together, I don't.

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[David Cross]

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[Emma Foley]

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[David Cross]

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[Emma Foley]

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[Mary Beth Barone]

Although I did. I just got in a fight on the subway. And we can talk about it if you want, but I like fist fight. Not a fist fight. It was a verbal altercation.

[David Cross]

Girl fight.

[Mary Beth Barone]

It was with a man. And it. Yeah, it's. It's. You know when your heart rate goes up and you get a little hot.

[David Cross]

Yeah.

[Mary Beth Barone]

It happened so fast as I was getting off to come here.

[David Cross]

But so wait, admit you. You got sexy. You got super sexy while this was happening.

[Mary Beth Barone]

I got sexy.

[David Cross]

I was like.

[Mary Beth Barone]

I was flush. I was feeling. So all the blood went to your lips. And then. But then I had to get off the subway, so I didn't get to act on it.

[David Cross]

Oh, the subway. Yeah.

[Mary Beth Barone]

Yeah. But I was sitting with my legs crossed. I had one leg over another. And there was a man standing close to me. He probably didn't need to be standing that close. Cause it wasn't a crowded subway. But as I was getting off, I uncrossed my leg and I hit his leg with my foot very lightly. And he didn't look over at me. So I thought maybe he didn't feel it. So I didn't apologize right away. And then he looked down at me and he said, you just kicked me. Are you not gonna say anything? And I was like, oh, I'm sorry when you didn't look over. I didn't know you had seen it. And he's like, just get the fuck off. And then he called me an ignoramus.

[David Cross]

Wow.

[Mary Beth Barone]

Which I hadn't heard in a while.

[David Cross]

An ignoramus. Yeah. Is he gonna meet you after third period?

[Mary Beth Barone]

Yeah, yeah, he's gonna. He's gonna first do some spitballs at me.

[David Cross]

Yeah.

[Mary Beth Barone]

And then. And then meet me by the Lockers.

[David Cross]

Know that you're rubber and he's glue. Does he. Is he not aware of that?

[Mary Beth Barone]

I wish I had said it. I was so flustered and caught off guard. But I wish I had been like, I think you need to calm down, or, no one told you to stand that close to me. Like, I wasn't as aware, I guess, of, like, how close he was, but it was also an accident. And to say I kicked him, well, that's where.

[David Cross]

That's where it. You know, you're dealing with somebody who is not completely rational when they call that you being kicked. Yeah.

[Mary Beth Barone]

And it bums me out because I do feel like. I feel like the perception of New Yorkers is that we are very angry. But I hardly ever have interactions like that. I have very pleasant ones usually. So I am disappointed by that. And I. I felt bad. But then as I was walking up the stairs, I was like. And a lot of people saw it. You know what I mean? Like, it was like there were witnesses. So I'm like, oh, I feel stupid, but it wasn't on purpose. Like, I don't. I didn't mean to.

[David Cross]

Yeah.

[Mary Beth Barone]

But that will probably. I have, like, Catholic guilt, so that will probably stay with me for a while.

[David Cross]

Do you think Jesus was upset with you or is still upset? If he was upset, I think he.

[Mary Beth Barone]

Probably is upset with me about other things.

[David Cross]

Hmm. So the kicking is not a big deal.

[Mary Beth Barone]

I'm not sure if that was on his radar today. But I don't know. I don't know what he's been. We haven't talked in a while.

[David Cross]

So do you talk to him or does he. Is it a dialogue or a monologue?

[Mary Beth Barone]

It's more of a monologue these days, yeah.

[David Cross]

Oh, but it's been. He has talked to you?

[Mary Beth Barone]

Yeah, he's appeared, I would say. Well, he is omnipresent, so he's kind of always there.

[David Cross]

I mean, he's Jesus, so they say. Yeah.

[Mary Beth Barone]

But, yeah, I do feel bad that that happened. And I send love to that person. Clearly, there's something else going on. I worked in customer service long enough to know that whatever someone's coming to you with, that's not actually what's bothering them. So if yelling at me made him feel good today, you're welcome.

[David Cross]

Thank you. Yeah.

[Mary Beth Barone]

And it was you, which is weird. So you.

[David Cross]

Yeah, because I was gonna.

[Mary Beth Barone]

Because I wasn't gonna bring it up. Cause it was kind of awkward. But it was you.

[David Cross]

So I had an interaction on the subway. You know, I live in Brooklyn, so I Same. I take the sea to the to. Then I transfer over in Fulton to get here. And I was just in my own head kind of. Yeah. And I was on the train. It was crowded, and then it had thinned out. I wasn't aware of. I just wasn't paying attention. And then there was this really, like, I don't want to be judgy based on really snotty, kind of WASPy East coast, whatever. Connecticut girl, I guess you'd say, you know, and she's. She's sitting, like, with a. One leg over the other leg. It's like, hey, there's only so much space on this fucking train, is what I'm thinking. And then she looks at me, and I can tell I'm not looking at her, but I can see in my periphery that she's looking at me. And she's kind of got a sour look. And she fucking hauls off and fucking whacks me with her leg and her foot and her shoe. Her foot was in her shoe and her shoe was attached to her leg. And she just hauled off. And I'm like, what? And I'm kind of shocked. And like, what the fuck? You know is what I'm thinking.

[Mary Beth Barone]

Yeah.

[David Cross]

And then she says, nothing, Nothing. And now I'm getting angrier, and I'm getting, like, a little flushed.

[Mary Beth Barone]

Well, you were assaulted.

[David Cross]

And she doesn't say anything. And she gets up to leave, and I'm like, you just kicked me. And I said it like that, very measured, right? And she went, oh, oh, did I? Oh, oh. I wasn't aware. I mean, you didn't say anything, so I thought maybe you didn't know. Like, how the fuck do I not know? You just kicked me if, you know, you kicked me. And your shoe doesn't have nerve endings in them, but my fucking shin certainly does. How do you not? So, of course, you know, you kick. And then I didn't. And then. And I was like, just get the off the train. And I said it like that, you know, and she was like, oh, I have to do a podcast. A very famous comedy legend, you know, muttering some. And off she went. Yeah. So that was my experience.

[Mary Beth Barone]

Did you say anything as she left or.

[David Cross]

I turned to everybody in the subway. Cause there were witnesses. People saw it and went, am I right? And everybody nodded. And then they got a collection up for me, and I got $817 in.

[Mary Beth Barone]

Donations for your troubles.

[David Cross]

Yep.

[Mary Beth Barone]

That's really powerful.

[David Cross]

And I took 17 of those dollars and gave it to one of the chocolate ladies. And only took $16 worth of chocolates.

[Mary Beth Barone]

That's. So you're very generous.

[David Cross]

I like to think so.

[Mary Beth Barone]

What I get from that story is your generosity. And it just seems like maybe people are really hostile. I mean, I was yelled at, you were assaulted.

[David Cross]

Yeah, it's.

[Mary Beth Barone]

New York is changing.

[David Cross]

Yeah.

[Mary Beth Barone]

Everyone is on edge with all this Eric Adams stuff, I guess.

[David Cross]

Oh, I was going to say Israel v Palestine, but yeah, Eric Adams too.

[Mary Beth Barone]

It's kind of just like. It's kind of. It's bad. It's bad times right now.

[David Cross]

I mean, October 7th is Eric Adams. October 7th. Wow. When you think about it.

[Mary Beth Barone]

Yep.

[David Cross]

Yep.

[Mary Beth Barone]

Right. I wonder from your perspective. You've lived in New York through a lot of different eras, it sounds like different presidents, all that stuff. Do you feel like, I guess also you were more like when I was, when I was, I was a kid in the 90s, so I wasn't as like aware of things going on. But do you feel like this is the worst it's been with like tensions politically and all that since you became aware? I guess just like more widely in America?

[David Cross]

Oh, without a doubt, without a doubt. I mean, not even. I haven't experienced anything like this and, and it just didn't exist on this level. And a lot of it is, you know, social media and a million different, you know, news streaming services and everything. And I just came a couple hours ago. I got back from upstate. I have lived, had a house for, even before I met my wife. It was just me and my dog and I have a house in the woods in the Catskill Mountains. And, and it's very trumpy up there. I'm right on the border of Pennsylvania.

[Mary Beth Barone]

Yeah.

[David Cross]

In New York. And, and you know, to go kind of to various places. You're, you're talking like minimum 15, 20 minute drive, usually anywhere between 15 and 40 minutes to get to like some of the different towns and things. You might go to the farmer's market or whatever. And you know, it's a lot of, it's all rural and, and there's the, you know, you take different directions, whether I'm going into Pennsylvania or going further up north in New York or wherever the. I mean, in most parts, I would say it's 20 Trump signs for every one Harris sign. It was like that a little bit with Biden, but there the, the difference and you'll notice it right away. And I mean, you can't help but notice it is the anger and the like. Like you are driving upstate and you see a guy with like 9, 10 bumper stickers, big Trump flag. And it's like, man, your car is angry.

[Mary Beth Barone]

Yeah.

[David Cross]

And your car is so angry when.

[Mary Beth Barone]

There'S a bald eagle decal.

[David Cross]

That's the least of it. I know.

[Mary Beth Barone]

But to me that means that's like, oh, you. You want everyone to see. You want everyone to notice your car. It's like, it's like you're making a. This is an extension of your personality.

[David Cross]

Oh, for sure. But it, there's nothing wrong with that. But that personality is. Is grounded in anger and victimization. And it's like, I mean, the amount of Joe Biden sign. I mean, just like, like there's a boat and in a. There's a town called Kin. Tiny little town. And there's a boat on the side of some guy's. It's like it. And it's, you know, painted like spray painted, not by a graffiti artist, but just Joe Biden. And it says, you're welcome. And it's on a boat, like a canoe boat that's turned over, but they got the boat so they could fuck Joe Biden. Right. Spray paint. Fuck Joe Biden. And then there's Trump. There'll be Trump flags on Trump signs and, and just tons of Trump stuff. But the best. Oh, and another side product of touring is we're in New York. We're going to. We're blue. We're not going to. There's no reason for the Democrats to spend, you know, money on a presidential race. I mean, down ballot. Sure. So I get to see when I go to. On tour, when I was in Texas, when I'm in Arizona, I get to see a lot of the political ads and they're fucking insane. Like it's, it's. It would be funny if it wasn't so creepy and scary. Yeah. But they're just nuts. And, and my favorite billboard that I saw, you know that on somebody's house, like massive. Was via Trump 2024. Promises made, promises kept.

[Mary Beth Barone]

Like what.

[David Cross]

What prom? What promises? He lowered taxes. Sure. And. And created the largest deficit in U.S. history. Okay. What other prop. I guess Roe v. Wade. Maybe he got put the. But I mean, anyway, but there were. There are all these signs that the, you know, you. Every time you get a sign, you're obviously donating to the campaign. That's how it works. But there were, There were a particular run of signs that would say like Trump Security, Kamala Harris crime. You know, it would be like that. And they would follow each. You know, almost like a Burma Shave type of ad where it's like you see one, then you see the next one. And there was Trump lower taxes. And I just, I want to get a sign. So there's Trump lower taxes. And then the following sign is Trump less services with a, with a exclamation mark as well. I'm going to lower your taxes and take all the services away because there's no tax money for it. And I'm going to give that money to my children.

[Mary Beth Barone]

I mean, I haven't read that much about Project 2025. I think I read one article, but it was like the, the things they want to cut, like. Oh, yeah, Department of Education Department.

[David Cross]

Oh, that's been. Yeah, I mean, they've talked about that for a long time. You know, Betsy DeVos, who was a DeVos in, in his first administration, that she was somebody who wanted to just fund charter schools and cut the Department of Education, the thing she was assigned to head, she wanted to cut that. And you know, of course that's absurd. And they, they, they want to get rid of that. They want to defund Planned Parenthood. They want to. I mean, that's the tip of the iceberg.

[Mary Beth Barone]

Yeah.

[David Cross]

And this idea of mass. I just don't get what deportations is.

[Mary Beth Barone]

But what's the benefit of cutting the. Because they take. Because they require money that could be funneled towards like, militarization. Like.

[David Cross]

No, I think it's about charter schools and it's about, you know, school choice vouchers, which is taking taxpayer money from public schools for people who can't afford. They have no other options and taking and giving it to wealthier schools that are religious based quite often. And they've been wanting to do that for a while. And then there are some statewide places that do do that, have, have been able to do that. So they want to defund the Department of Education in part because they have convinced everyone that it's liberal progressive ideology, indoctrination of children and school started in this country as a way to get a labor base. School in and of itself is not. The history of it in the United States is not this wonderful altruistic thing. It's about creating a labor base and about nationalism and all that stuff. And they would like to get back to that idea. I'm talking about the, in the earliest stages of.

[Mary Beth Barone]

Yeah, it makes sense, though.

[David Cross]

Yeah. And they would like to get back to that. And you know, one of the best quotes ever, when Trump was running for his, you know, when he was just, when he was one of the nominees, Republican nominees in the primary and Sealed it yet was. I love poor people and. No, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I misquoted. I love the poorly educated. Sorry, that was the full quote.

[Emma Foley]

I love.

[David Cross]

That's a quote. I love the poorly educated. And of course he does. Well, they're both voting for him, so he wants more. And a lot of people do. The Koch brothers, all those, they would like, they need a labor base and they need. And they want to stop giving money to these people, you know, and just create a, an environment where they have to work and they can't. They can bust unions because they, they have, they, they don't want them to have rights. They don't want them to have options. They don't. This is all part of the plan. This isn't, I'm not like. This isn't a conspiracy theory thing. This is stuff they've said. Yeah. Going back, you know, generations. But they, yeah, they want a easily pliable, you know, scared labor base that will do. Take whatever shit job they give them.

[Mary Beth Barone]

Well, I'm scared. I'm scared. I am scared.

[David Cross]

Are you a ghost or what are you scared of?

[Mary Beth Barone]

I, actually, I'm not scared of ghosts.

[David Cross]

I'm not welcome.

[Mary Beth Barone]

I welcome them.

[David Cross]

I'm not either.

[Mary Beth Barone]

In fact, when I'm at my parents house, I sleep with the door open so the ghosts can come and go.

[David Cross]

Oh, I was talking about the TV show.

[Mary Beth Barone]

Oh, no, I haven't seen that. Oh, I haven't either seen that, but I do.

[David Cross]

I haven't seen it because I like to be scared and I'm not scared of the TV show.

[Mary Beth Barone]

Yeah, I feel like, I feel like I'm, I think ghosts are friendly. They were here longer than me, so I, I think I welcome them. I, I find that I'm very like, I am very tolerant of ghosts, I would say. Just, I mean, I don't know.

[David Cross]

Is that like, because you're woke?

[Mary Beth Barone]

I'm really woke, yeah. About ghosts, about ghosts and other stuff. I like to be informed. I have some teenage. I have a teenage niece and she's very informed and so I learn a lot from her Instagram stories and stuff. But I'm scared, I guess. Like. Yeah, it's. There was a lot of hope injected, I think, when Kamala stepped up, but it's. I don't know when this episode's coming out, but it's really soon. The election, it's like in a month. Scared.

[David Cross]

Yeah, I am. You know, my wife is very involved. Was a personal, Had a personal, kind of, you know, friendly acquaintance, acquaintanceship. With Hillary Clinton, who I couldn't stand and I voted for because of the, you know, where we were. But I, I mean, we had numerous arguments about it. Discussions. I was a Bernie Sanders guy, and she is an emotional person and very feminist. And she was pregnant when Trump was elected and very pregnant, and it was really tough for her. And a lot of her friends and I have been spending. And then when Biden was elected, some of her friends, who I'm friendly with as well, were like. And also in Brooklyn, just dancing the street, and everybody had music, and Fort Greene was just packed with. Everybody's like, yay. And I don't feel either of those extremes. And I try not to. I, That's a. I try not to get devastated, brought to tears at the bad news, and I try not to dance in the streets at the good news. There's. Because there's always going to be more bad news, and there'll be some good news at some point. And I try to be rational. And for me, it's like, if this happens and I'm trying to prepare her for the worst and, you know, my whole thing, of course I'll be upset, but I will eat it and I'll just go, all right, well, that didn't work out like we wanted. It's time to roll up her sleeves and get to work.

[Mary Beth Barone]

Yeah.

[David Cross]

And, you know, I'm not gonna cry. And, you know, my fear isn't simply like, oh, four years of that again, because now he has immunity and he would have. I think he would pretty much have Congress and the Supreme Court, which is thoroughly corrupt. And. And he's not going anywhere. Trump and his kids. And they're not. If he wins and forget all the other hundreds of, you know, different people that are going to suffer, different groups of people that are going to suffer, but it's like, he's not going anywhere. He's not. It's not going to be like a one term. Well, you know, they will, they will get rid of that amendment, and it's already a minority rule, and it's just gonna be unlike anything I think people could. It's not gonna happen overnight, but it will happen. Four years is a long time, and he's not going anywhere.

[Mary Beth Barone]

Somehow, the last four years have flown by. I feel like just. I don't know, because it just feels like we just did this. Obviously, the whole election cycle has been exhausting because Trump has never stopped campaigning even since the last election. But I would love. Just like, he took a.

[David Cross]

He did take a brief. He took an hour or two to sell his bibles and his sneakers. His golden. His golden sneakers.

[Mary Beth Barone]

And what a glorious hour to two hours that was. But, yeah, I guess I'm just. I'm ready for. It would just be so cool to wake up after the selection happens if Kamala wins, and, like, he can't really run again. Not to say that the impact of him won't be felt because obviously he has all these little spawns that have popped up, but. Oh, my God, I'm just so. It's just so. It's exhausting.

[David Cross]

It really is mentally exhausting. And it's a bummer that we have to waste this much time and psychic energy on it and money. It's like, I'd like. You know, I'd like to. In my lifetime. I'm 60, and in my lifetime, I would like to have just one election. Just one that wasn't the most important election of my lifetime. Just one where it's like, yay, the one of these clowns is okay. Like, no, this one's really bad, and this one's just a little bad.

[Mary Beth Barone]

Yeah.

[David Cross]

I mean, I. It would be nice to. I mean, it's never going to go away. I mean, you have the. The media is just a joke, and, you know, and then you. You talk to otherwise really sensible people and indecent people who, like. Like, he's a con man. Amongst all the other things he's conning. That's only. That's what he does. He's a con man. He makes shit up and sells it to you. And he's a con man. He didn't drain the swamp. He didn't do any of those things he said he was going to do. He. He made things worse. The things that you care about. The border. That was him. The.

[Mary Beth Barone]

I mean, well, I think it's been interesting to see. And even if he wins, I think this, to me, is still a victory. Is like, all of the people that were in his administration being like, don't vote for him. He's a liar. He is. He. He's. He is a con man, essentially, is what they're saying. And he has no ethics and no morals and none of that.

[David Cross]

I mean, from before he ever ran, he was a con man.

[Mary Beth Barone]

Yeah. And. And now that, like, I don't know. I just think it's like, people, the Republicans that are putting, like, democracy over being in his good graces, to me that I don't agree with their politics.

[David Cross]

But that it feels like it's a.

[Mary Beth Barone]

Small victory, it's a Small. I'm just like that. I mean, is it going to change his base?

[David Cross]

No, but still, all that stuff about, like, you know, the adults in the room who are, you know, he won' There won't be anybody even remotely like that. He's. He, he, he wants to win more than anything to stay out of jail, to keep his brand name. And, you know, I would obviously, for multiple reasons and multiple crimes, like to see him, you know, do his time and justice, and I'd like to see justice prevail. But. And I, you know, I still believe in the fundamental idea that nobody is above the law. And, you know, a jury of his peers found him guilty on 34 counts in just one of the cases. And I'd like to see him not be able to get away with it. He's gotten away with everything his whole life, and I like to see him just once, you know, I know I.

[Mary Beth Barone]

Have to, well, be held accountable. I want to see that movie, the Apprentice. Did you hear anything about the movie?

[David Cross]

No. I mean, I'm not that interested.

[Mary Beth Barone]

Well, one of the financiers maybe didn't read the script or didn't know how it was going to be portrayed, but he's a pro Trump guy, so he's been trying to prevent the film from getting distribution because he helped finance it, not realizing it was going to be, like, negative about him.

[David Cross]

And, well, that's on him.

[Mary Beth Barone]

I just find that funny.

[David Cross]

And why, what, how would he be able to not get it distributed just because he funded it?

[Mary Beth Barone]

I'm not exactly sure. Like, maybe he has some say in who would just purchase it for distribution. But I think it did get distribution, but when it premiered in the weeks following, he was trying to prevent it.

[Emma Foley]

Who is he?

[David Cross]

What's his name?

[Mary Beth Barone]

I can't remember. Some rich guy.

[David Cross]

Well, that's a given.

[Mary Beth Barone]

That's. Yeah, some rich guy who wants Trump to be president again. But I am. At first when I saw it, I was like, kind of rolling my eyes, like, do we need another movie like this? But then once I found out what it's actually about, like, what some of the content.

[David Cross]

Tell me about it.

[Mary Beth Barone]

So I believe it's about him in, like, the 80s or when he was married to Ivanka and him sort of like it's sort of shining a light on all the various, like, the things.

[David Cross]

We already know, the things we know, but we have less dramatizes.

[Mary Beth Barone]

It's dramatizing. Well, I know there's, like, about him sexually assaulting his wife.

[David Cross]

Right.

[Mary Beth Barone]

And the hair plugs because of the hair plugs. He was very mad.

[David Cross]

He was mad about his hair plugs.

[Mary Beth Barone]

And then I think it's about him using just like his father's money to make a name for himself. $400 million built on.

[David Cross]

Yeah, $400 million he got and lost it.

[Mary Beth Barone]

Yeah.

[David Cross]

Yeah. So the brilliant businessman.

[Mary Beth Barone]

It's showing how he was a failure before we even knew of him in the mainstream, which I am interested to know about. And that's something I would want to watch and learn more about. And I know it's dramatized, so it might not all be completely accurate, but yeah, it's not just another like biopic, like fluffy biopic. This is like, it's showing darkness. I don't even remember. But I love Sebastian Stan and Maria Bakalova. So I would watch that. Hopefully I will get to see it. Speaking of movies, I had a question for you. How old is your daughter?

[David Cross]

Seven and a half.

[Mary Beth Barone]

Have you guys shown her Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants yet?

[David Cross]

No. She will get there. She, to our delight, is not that she's, I guess, nonplussed about that kind of stuff. And, and like she, at some point, I want to say she was. This is about two years ago. My sister was in town babysitting and they were scrolling like, oh, what do you want to watch? And then Alvin the Chipmunks came up. It's like, that's Daddy. And. But it didn't, it didn't mean anything. And, and, and she knows what I do. And she, she has a kind of a vague. It's getting more solid concept of what it is I do, of what, what it entails. And. But I mean, she, she has seen Kung Fu Panda multiple times. She's seen Megamind five, six times. All kinds of things that my voice isn't bubble. I mean, I did, I did episodes of some of these K. Because she liked them. And I was like, oh, this would be fun. And she doesn't. She never registered any of that stuff. And. Which I'm thrilled with it. Just let her enjoy the story. Let her do the thing and not fuck up her head with like, wait, what? Huh? What? You know, and, and she. On the ride yesterday, she went with me. I had to run some errands upstate. And it's like a 40 plus minute drive to where I had to go and she was with me. And so it was like three hours in the car and they're, you know, plus going to get these things. And she started coming up with jokes on her own, like, let's do Dog. She's like, what kind of. And she's writing these on her own. What kind of. Oh, what is it? What kind of dog eats food and then cries? Like, I don't know. What kind of dog eats food and then cries a Chihuahua? I was like, oh, Marlo, that's awesome. That's a good one. And then she goes, what kind of cat? We did a bunch of dog jokes. I'm just telling you the good ones. A lot of them crap. I mean, just garbage.

[Mary Beth Barone]

But that's with any joke writer. Any joke writer has the most.

[David Cross]

How was that funny? Like, I stopped the car, pulled over.

[Mary Beth Barone]

Yeah.

[David Cross]

And said, get out and walk the rest.

[Mary Beth Barone]

Yeah, no, that's good parenting.

[David Cross]

Does she. Then we moved on to cats. And then she was like, what kind of cat can. Can breathe underwater? Like, what kind of cat. Siamese cat?

[Emma Foley]

A catfish.

[Mary Beth Barone]

Okay.

[David Cross]

I'll give you that.

[Mary Beth Barone]

Okay.

[David Cross]

And then anyway, she came up with. And she wrote them down. I gave her pen, paper, and she came up with about six decent ones. And then she proceeded everywhere we went after that. She would go up to strangers tables, like if we were at a restaurant or wherever, and we were at the farmer's market, and she would go up and read her jokes to people.

[Mary Beth Barone]

Oh, my God.

[David Cross]

And I was like, wow, this is.

[Mary Beth Barone]

That's kind of fearless.

[David Cross]

That's kind of cool. And then dream come true. Absolutely. Dream come true. I had got. I collect baseball cards and I had gotten this box of just this cheapy little carts to open up, see what they look. And she was like, can I open them? And they're. They're called. It's a chrome. It's a kind of card tops. Chrome. And some of them are refractors with a little kind of rainbow when you catch the light. And some are pink hued and some are CB whatever. And she really got into them and had the cards all, you know, as we were driving back home, it's like 2 hours and 15 minutes, just non stop. And these are special and these are not. And these are the. And then came home and was like, daddy, can I open up some more cards? They're like, yeah. And I go, I'm going on the road. I got to go away for another couple weeks. But here's what we're going to do. Tell me if you like this idea. I will get a box of those kind of cars. The packs that you open up, we'll get a whole box and then we can FaceTime. And when I'm in Madison, Wisconsin, or Ann Arbor, Michigan, wherever I'll check into the hotel and then we'll FaceTime after school. And you can open up the cards and show them to me and say what we got and show them to the camera. And I'm just thrilled. And she's like, dad, here's a. Here's. Oh, I got. This one's extra special. You know why? No. Why? Because he plays for the Braves. Oh, wow. Who is it? You know, and. And it's a pink. Daddy, you got a pink one?

[Mary Beth Barone]

Oh, yeah.

[David Cross]

It was great. Like the idea. Because I just do it on my own and have. I've been collecting on and off since the 90s and kind of, you know, I have some friends who are dabble in it, but I'm really just sort of on my own doing it. And just to have a kid now to share that kind of geeky nerdy. We got a super fractor auto rookie that means nothing to my wife. Nor should it.

[Mary Beth Barone]

Yeah.

[David Cross]

And in my office, I have some shelves with all the special cards. And. And so she's like, dad, this one should go in a sleeve. Like, you're right. That should go in a sleeve. It's special.

[Mary Beth Barone]

Well, now. And now she'll have that. She'll have a little expertise.

[David Cross]

Yeah.

[Mary Beth Barone]

The cards.

[David Cross]

Yeah.

[Mary Beth Barone]

That's sweet. Do you have any other shared interests with. I mean, I guess the age difference is. It's a big age difference.

[David Cross]

Yeah. But we both are into dissecting frogs, so we do that on weekends. Yeah. No. Yeah. Did you really believe me?

[Mary Beth Barone]

I don't know.

[David Cross]

I don't really believe me. Look, that we both are into. I am not.

[Mary Beth Barone]

But what if it was true and I was like, ew. What? I. I would never come on someone else's podcast and. And judge their interests.

[David Cross]

I would. That's. But. Well, that's what we're doing here. We're having a conversation.

[Mary Beth Barone]

We are.

[David Cross]

And conversations need judgments to.

[Mary Beth Barone]

I guess if. I guess I'd be. I'd be okay with it. If the frogs died of natural causes. If you were catching frogs to dissect them, I would say. I think that's maybe not ethical.

[David Cross]

Okay. We have a pond upstate. Stream fed. And just millions of frogs. Millions of frogs. And. And she loves. And she. She's good at cats with her bare hands. And. And I taught her how to choke it out. And so she will choke out the frog.

[Mary Beth Barone]

Yeah.

[David Cross]

So it's unconscious.

[Mary Beth Barone]

Sure.

[David Cross]

Right. And that's when you go in with a knife.

[Mary Beth Barone]

Well, intent matters. Intent matters.

[David Cross]

Yes and no. What other interests do we have? She's way into art. She's. And she's quite good. And I don't have that talent. My wife does. My mother in law does. My. I do not have that. And she, she picked that up from her. She got that talent from her mom's side of the family. I can do some good designs. That's what we decided upon that, you know, she'll go like, daddy, come. And she also has a rules that are above her art table that she wrote out. No phones allowed. No, if you are on your phone, you must leave. Yeah, she has big, you know, and it's one of those things like oh, that's, that's great. And then it immediately makes you go, oh shit, I'm a shitty dad. Because I'm like, hang on, let me see what the sports score is. You know. And so our table, no phones. You just constrained on the art.

[Mary Beth Barone]

Yeah.

[David Cross]

And. And then. But that's a. I mean that's. I'm trying to get her into sports. I've taken her to. I took her to a Cyclones game. Mets single A team out in Coney island. And I took her to. We've been to four Liberty games. That's been great.

[Mary Beth Barone]

Okay. That's.

[David Cross]

Been to a Liberty game.

[Mary Beth Barone]

I haven't.

[David Cross]

It's awesome.

[Mary Beth Barone]

Okay. So many of my friends are going and posting and saying they're having a blast.

[David Cross]

It's the best vibe, the best time. She loves it. I love it. The team is great. I mean they are a fun, fun team to watch and it's just great. It's a really great experience. And there's no like, you know, not that there's that kind of, you know, bro shit at like Knicks or Nets games. You don't get in basketball as much but. But there's none. I mean zero. It's just people having a good time and, and you know, constant hype. Shit on, you know, the music.

[Mary Beth Barone]

It's their mascot, an elephant or something.

[David Cross]

Ellie. She met her. She met Ellie and I took pictures with her or took pictures of her with Ellie and she was very excited to meet Ellie and. Oh man. It's just they. I mean that team is awesome. They're really fun to watch. And I've been following the, the. I was stuck at the airport in Oklahoma City and you know, sat and watched the game at a bar for, you know, got to see the whole game and you know, even if I don't, I have the score of pops up on my, my phone. Yeah. There. I highly recommend it.

[Emma Foley]

And it's.

[David Cross]

It. Yeah. We'll cut this out, Emma. But it's literally down the street from our house to Barclays. Yeah.

[Mary Beth Barone]

Oh, amazing.

[David Cross]

Yeah, yeah, it's just downstream.

[Mary Beth Barone]

Let's check it out then.

[David Cross]

It is totally worth going to and.

[Mary Beth Barone]

Good to support women's sports.

[David Cross]

Well, I mean if you have to, you have to. I mean if it's convenient. It's not my thing. I don't even know. Not even if it's convenient. If it's. If I've got no choice but to, then I will. Yeah. That's good of you, Liberty. Great. I've. I've repped. I got a T shirt. So I'll rep it on stage. I'll, you know, when they're playing, I'll wear my Liberty T shirt.

[Mary Beth Barone]

Now you've been a stand up for. I guess so something I've encountered or. I just was scared. I put out a special on YouTube last. Not even last year, it was in March of this year. I put a special out and that was like. I'd worked on all the material for years and it was all my favorite stuff and I was really happy with it. But then I got scared like what if I just run out of standup? Like, what if I don't? If I just never think of another funny thing. So you've been. I mean you've been a stand up for years and years. So do you ever get nervous that you'll just stop being funny?

[David Cross]

No. But to more specifically to your point, I have every single time go, shit. I got no. What am I going to do? Am I going to do an hour? I've got nothing. And every time. And every time, literally. Although I'd say this time a little less. So it's after fucking 40 plus years. I'm finally figuring it out. But I don't know how you work on your material, how you create it. I cannot write. Sit down and write. I don't. It's not my thing.

[Mary Beth Barone]

I don't see that either.

[David Cross]

I wish I could. It'd be easier, I think. But it's just, I don't. The stuff I come up with is garbage. So I do and have been doing this for the last four tours. I want to say maybe five, but I, I have the advantage, the luck, the ability to do this because I live in Brooklyn and I do these series of shows called Shooting the shit, Seeing what sticks. So the first run of them will be at Union hall downstairs, 99 seats. And then I move on to a bigger. I'll go to Sultan Room in Bushwick. Or Littlefield and Caveat down in Lower east side. And. And then I do that, and I'll have like two or three, usually two special guests come in the middle. And then I. When I move to the bigger thing, it's just one guess. And then eventually it's just me trying to run an hour and. And the sequencing, which is one of the hardest parts.

[Mary Beth Barone]

Yeah.

[David Cross]

And then when I think, oh, I think this is it, I will take it to. I'll just do a mini run. I'll go to, like, and I'll do music venues. Right. Where everybody's kind of standing and not sitting down so much, but. And I'll do, like, this last one. I went to Omaha and I went to Milwaukee two nights back to back for each place. There it is. And now that would have been a sad trombone.

[Mary Beth Barone]

I like that one.

[David Cross]

Yeah, it's not bad. It's. It hasn't graded yet. And. And then I go out on the road. But that's a. It's a, you know, fairly lengthy process. I don't feel. I think this turnaround is probably the quickest I've ever done, but it's also my only source of income, and I. And I do love it. I love. I love going, you know, to San Antonio. Love San Antonio. Remember the Alamo. How could I forget? I got my Alamo cup and I got my Alamo hat, and I got my Alamo leg warmers. I got my Alamo Alamo dialysis machine. I got my Alamo nail filer buff thing. I got my Alamo bedazzler Alamo tattoo. I got my Alamo tattoo, my Alamo sleep mask, my Alamo porn parody, my Alamo candies, my Alamo. Anyway, they, you know, it's. I love. I don't like the grind of getting up and making a connecting flight to, you know, so I can get to Spokane from Madison, which is. Takes all day. But I do love getting on stage. I still love it. Love it. My audience is fucking great, too. I have really smart, cool fans and very supportive, and they're. I love it. It's just one of my favorite things to do. And. But the turnaround on this, from this to the one prior to this was pretty quick. So I'll probably finish up, but this one's going to extend. It's going to be a long one. I go continue in the United States through the holidays. Take a little time off, obviously, then I go to Canada. I'm going to be on Broadway for a week. Yep.

[Mary Beth Barone]

Exciting.

[David Cross]

Very cool. And then go Back to Canada and then I'm in Europe for the month of April from a little bit of March, most of almost all of April. And then I'll probably pick up more shows in the US that I, for whatever reason I didn't get to Bloomington, Indiana. That's a fun show. And there's certain places that I just, you know, missed because of the routing and whatever. Whoever was in there when I, when I was able to get to that place, probably hit some of those folks and, and then take some time off and I like to go up in a hot air balloon and shoot other hot air balloons down and I'll be able to do that.

[Mary Beth Barone]

Just clear your head?

[David Cross]

Yeah, clear my head. Become one with nature. But I go high enough where I'm not confined to the laws of that state.

[Mary Beth Barone]

Well, it's martial law. Right.

[David Cross]

When you get that high, it's international. It's sort of a. It's like a wink. It's the equivalent of like, hey, you know, I didn't see nothing.

[Mary Beth Barone]

Right, right.

[David Cross]

Well, how could you be in my space? He's the, the airspace of New Mexico. But. Well, you're too high up. We didn't see him.

[Mary Beth Barone]

You take off from the Albuquerque Hot Air Balloon show and you're just pew, pew, pew.

[David Cross]

Yeah. So when you see those balloons go down, that's me. Yeah, yeah.

[Mary Beth Barone]

That's cool. That's such a like tangible impact.

[David Cross]

Oh, it's great. And then you, depending on where you are, you can, I mean you have the visual aspect of watching it. You have the sound right. Of the crash and like the. And then just sort of almost like a Looney Tunes cartoon, you know, and then you just. Then you got to. That's why I have a jetpack. And then I shoot my balloon and then off I go. I'll see you around. I'll probably end up in Boulder or Fort Collins or something like that by the time.

[Mary Beth Barone]

I mean, I've heard of a lot of comedians process, but never that. So it's so unique.

[David Cross]

Mary Beth Barone, thank you so much.

[Mary Beth Barone]

My pleasure.

[David Cross]

For coming down.

[Mary Beth Barone]

It's great to meet you. I did want to say so. I always knew you were a man of the people because in the early 2000s my sister in law and brother saw you at the Bar 2A in the east Village and they asked to take a photo and you were so lovely. And I have the photo. So I'll show you. That's not interesting for the listeners.

[David Cross]

We'll cut this part out. We'll cut this. Cut all this out. I like people. People for a long time thought I was an asshole. And it's like, why all these people now are going like, he's not an asshole, he's actually nice. And it's fucking up my.

[Mary Beth Barone]

Your whole vibe.

[David Cross]

My whole vibe.

[Mary Beth Barone]

That's why you have to shoot down hot air balloons.

[David Cross]

Yeah, it's part of it.

[Mary Beth Barone]

To perpetuate the narrative that you want.

[David Cross]

Yeah. But it's also clearing my head, as you said. It's. It's my zen, you know.

[Mary Beth Barone]

Totally. We all have that.

[David Cross]

Some people go to a self tanning bed and I. Some people go get a massage at the airport. The massage express things. And I shoot down hot air balloons. Yeah.

[Mary Beth Barone]

David Cross heard it here first.

[David Cross]

Now I close every show with. I don't know if you're familiar with My podcast. Sense is working overtime. Okay.

[Mary Beth Barone]

I'm familiar with much of your other work, but not the pod.

[David Cross]

Okay. So I close every show by asking my guest a real question that my daughter came up with and a question to be answered on the podcast to be answered in any way you. How do clouds get their shapes?

[Mary Beth Barone]

And I can just say anything.

[David Cross]

Yeah, answer the question. There's a 7 year old who's asking, how do clouds get their shape? You can answer it any way you feel you want to answer it.

[Mary Beth Barone]

So for a long time clouds were totally shapeless and it was just sort of moisture in the air that was up there. Right. And it was collecting, but it didn't create a shape at all. It was just sort of flat. Then Walt Disney created Pixar and then the clouds were given to me.

[David Cross]

Sorry, Walt Disney created Pixar.

[Mary Beth Barone]

Created Pixar.

[David Cross]

Okay.

[Mary Beth Barone]

And they decided that the minds at Pixar were going to shape the clouds.

[David Cross]

Okay.

[Mary Beth Barone]

And it's a lot of work. Cause there's a lot of ground to cover. But it's all coming out of the Disney campus, which is really cool. And I think we should have more capitalistic endeavors with the weather. I've always said that. And so I think the crossover of Disney Pixar with the clouds, I just think it's sort of like a beautiful synergy. So I like it. Some people have a problem with it. There's been protests about it, but I thought the shapeless clouds kind of did nothing for me. So I like now that they have some structure. Structure is so important, especially for a seven year old.

[David Cross]

Sure. Yeah. Now. So thank you for answering her question. Now I have a question which I usually don't. I'll follow this up. So how do you explain the clouds that are represented in artwork that go back centuries, thousands of years before Disney was a company or even a person.

[Mary Beth Barone]

Artist interpretation. It was creative license and artistic license. I think it was the future they wanted to see, but they didn't have at the time.

[David Cross]

So there weren't clouds until Disney. People were begging, but the artists would put clouds. Now, what about film that we see from the earliest Matthew Brady photography. Right. Mid late 1800s, that show clouds. And that's a photograph.

[Mary Beth Barone]

It was done in post. It was edited.

[David Cross]

Oh, heavily edited. But this is before software would allow the manipulation of.

[Mary Beth Barone]

So back then, what they would do is they would take the picture and they would cut out the foreground and then they would paint clouds, put the picture over that, and then take another picture. So it's a picture of a picture.

[David Cross]

Even the old timey ones where he had to stand still for like 10 minutes with the guy. The guy who would put his head in the. You know, the towel.

[Mary Beth Barone]

Yeah.

[David Cross]

Huh. Well, you are just filled with misinformation. All right, Mary Beth Barone, thank you for dropping by. Is there anything you want to plug? This will be coming out in 2026.

[Mary Beth Barone]

Perfect. Well, I'm sure I'll be back on tour by then. And if you are listening early, I will be on tour for the rest of the year, pretty much. So I'll be in Seattle, D.C. san Francisco, Philly, a bunch of other cities you can find on my website, marybethbarone.com and I hope to see you out there. I can't wait.

[David Cross]

Yeah, maybe we'll crisscross. Applesauce. Our tours. Yeah.

[Mary Beth Barone]

And if there is ever a night where we're both playing the same city, obviously they should go to your show.

[David Cross]

That's very. That's very. Well, they might. You might be on later because I.

[Mary Beth Barone]

You do matinees only?

[David Cross]

Yes. I go to the. Just go to home care. I don't know if you've seen the movie Punchline, which is a documentary about. But they. Apparently there's something called the Nooner. Their characters are under the subway station. He's like, I've got to do a nooner. Like, that's a thing that people. It's one of my favorite parts. There's probably five or six things where you're like, what?

[Mary Beth Barone]

When was it made?

[David Cross]

Punchline was like. It was like 80s, mid to late 80s. Tom Hanks plays a. Oh, it's so bad.

[Mary Beth Barone]

I thought it was a documentary.

[David Cross]

No, I was kidding. For anybody who's seen it. No, it's called Punchline. Tom Hanks, Sally Field.

[Mary Beth Barone]

Whoa.

[David Cross]

It's really ridiculous. And as a stand up, you look at and go, what? That's not how it is. There's a club where they have lockers. They come in and, you know, the comics come in and hang up there.

[Mary Beth Barone]

Very inspirational.

[David Cross]

And then there's this thing like I gotta do a nooner and it's not a thing. And also, Tom Hanks stand up is just terrible.

[Mary Beth Barone]

Oh, I have to see this.

[David Cross]

It's really bad. It's really bad. Well, I'm gonna turn Sally Field in one night into a good comic. They go and they do like. One of the true aspects is there were like, you know, five, six, seven places you could hop around the city, you know, comic strip and Gotham and improv and catch and all that shit. And. And that's a real thing where you can, you know, and we all used to do it back in the day, do five sets a night. Some people still do it, but in within that evening. He's able to turn Sally Field from a like nervous wannabe to a pretty good in her own right.

[Mary Beth Barone]

She must have a lot of raw talent. I can't wait to watch.

[David Cross]

Yeah, yeah. It's good as a stand up. I think you'll appreciate it. Nobody else would.

[Mary Beth Barone]

No, no. And I hope they don't watch it.

[David Cross]

And my favorite bit that Tom Hanks's standup character does is he imagines different superheroes and he goes, one of them. I just remember this. It's so ridiculous because it's so good. A motorcycle man. His helmet has secret compartments.

[Mary Beth Barone]

A joke can be that simple. It can be.

[David Cross]

It really can.

[Mary Beth Barone]

It can and it can't.

[David Cross]

Motorcycle man. His helmet has secret compartments.

[Mary Beth Barone]

Yes.

[David Cross]

He's a superhero. Okay, I gotta run and I gotta.

[Mary Beth Barone]

It was great to meet you.

[Emma Foley]

Senses Working Overtime is a Headgum podcast created and hosted by me, David Cross. The show is edited by Katie Skelton and engineered by Nicole Lyons with supervising producer Emma Foley. Thanks to Demi Druchin for our show art and Mark Rivers for our theme song. For more podcasts by headgum, visit headgum.com or wherever you listen to your favorite shows. Leave us a review on Apple Podcasts and maybe we'll read it on a future episode.

[David Cross]

I'm not gonna do that.

[Emma Foley]

Thanks for listening.

[Mary Beth Barone]

That was a Hitgun podcast.