Loading summary
A
This is a Headgum podcast. You can be wherever you want of these two chairs. Or. No, no, actually, I'll. I'll. I'll.
B
You can be there.
A
You can sit there. Yeah.
B
Really?
A
Absolutely.
B
I'm gonna go with that one.
A
But, yeah, sure.
B
I mean, great space.
A
Thank you very much. I. I just.
B
Your dedicated studio, this one here.
A
I own the building and the air rights to. To most of the kind of Silver Lake Echo park zone.
B
Yeah.
A
There you go. Now you are, I got to say, way overdressed for the temperature. I mean, that is. I mean, I'm in shorts and a T shirt.
B
You think a hoodie and sweats is overdressed? I was worried. I'm underdressed.
A
It's like 80 degrees. It's a beautiful, crisp Los Angeles winter's day.
B
Yeah.
A
And no, it's. I think I want to say it's 76, 77.
B
It's nice, but see, it's chilly in here. I don't know. You know what it is? I don't know.
A
It is a little chilly in here as the.
B
The older I get, the colder I get.
A
I think that's a. A real thing, isn't it? Or maybe not. You're just not as comfortable with the cold.
B
Yeah. I'm from Maryland originally. Baltimore. So we grew up with snow and winters. Not like a Green Bay or a Minnesota, but we grew up with real winters. And as soon as I moved here, within six months, I couldn't take it anymore. My blood thinned quickly.
A
I know a couple people like that, like Bob Odenkirk, who grew up in a suburb of Chicago, lived in Chicago, lived in New York, I think was out here for just a couple years and then would complain and bitch about the cold when he was back. Like, it's too cold.
B
I've always said I like to play in it. I don't like to live in it.
A
What about temporarily? What if somebody said, here's a trade off? I will give you the delights of spring, the emotional uplifting of spring and everything that comes with awakening the birds. Oh, yeah.
B
The smells, the sound. Yes. The chirps.
A
Absolutely. And I will also give you fresh cut grass.
B
Sorry, go ahead.
A
No fresh cut grass. Keep. Keep them coming. They're all barbecued, smelling the rain on the pavement. Yeah.
B
Actually drops.
A
Taken off that winter coat.
B
Yeah.
A
You know, and I'll also give you the. Also joyousness and the comfort of fall as summer turns and life goes on and all the. The accompanying things of the. The idyllic warmth of a fire. And, and the smell of wood smoke and fall vegetables and seasonings and, and, and, and the foods that accompany it. And, and just the, the extra life it gives you is when the end. And you get to wear some, some of your different outfits, you know, a sweater that you really like.
B
And you can smell the smoke from the fire in your clothes.
A
Yeah, I'll give you those things Spring and fall.
B
Okay.
A
The trade off is you have to have three months of the thing you like to play in but don't like to live in. There's your trade off.
B
Definitely. I could do that for sure.
A
Then why don't you move back to Baltimore?
B
Well, because everything I do is here and my child is here. My daughter, you know, the family I've built is here. She's only 10. I mean, in a practical world, I can't because her mom and I aren't together and it's a 50, 50 custody situation. If I move back to Baltimore, I'm just a piece of shit.
A
Okay, all right.
B
We're trying to break cycles here.
A
Why don't you bring her with.
B
I think about like, Maryland is something that's always on my heart. It just is. I, I really do love the state. I love the food, I love. You know, you've got the Chesapeake there. You also have the beach there. You've got a city there, you've got the mountains there. You have a real.
A
What mountains?
B
Appalachian. Appalachia.
A
Appalachian. Okay.
B
Yeah, yeah. Out there in the west, in western Maryland. So you've got all the.
A
I was thinking Baltimore you were going through, but. Yes.
B
Yeah. And. But just then on the other side of Baltimore, you have this massive Chesapeake Bay and this whole weird Bay community. And then on the other side of the bay is a whole different kind of redneck on the Eastern Shore leading up to Ocean City and then all the touristy crap there, you know. So I really do love Maryland. It's. But yeah, I think I've got. My daughter's 10 now, so I think about maybe 10 years. It's a spot I certainly consider for sure.
A
You could even do eight. Really? I mean, when she's out of high school.
B
Yeah, could.
A
And I mean, unless she stays.
B
But the winter months wouldn't be the months I'd go.
A
Right.
B
You know what I mean?
A
Well, winter, Maryland.
B
Where are you from? Originally?
A
I'm from Georgia, but I grew up all over the place. But I'm mostly Georgia by far. But then I spent. I went from Georgia to Boston. I was in Boston for nine plus years and then I moved To LA and then to New York.
B
I just don't miss, like, I used to drive a 1990 Honda Civic with original rims. And I. I don't miss like, getting up. So my whole thing was in college. All right, I worked at UPS. Shout out to UPS Baltimore Hub Primary 1 Joe Avenue. I worked there and I did the graveyard shift there. So I say graveyard because I'd work from 4pm and we wouldn't get out till supposed to be 2am but during long shift, it's a long shift. And during the winter months, the trucks that would come up from like Lexington, Kentucky, and all these other places, you'd have to wait on them. So sometimes that one truck would get there till three or four in the morning, and then I would go home. I'd sleep for about three hours. I'd get up. I'd go to Towson. That's where I graduated college. Finally, Towson State at the time. And I would get up. And we didn't have a garage or anything, so you're parking on the street. It's just street parking. And my doors are frozen. And the only way I could get into that Civic was popping the hatchback and climbing through the hatchback. And I just. I don't miss that shit at all.
A
Well, you're. You're also.
B
I appreciated it at the time. I don't feel like I need to go back.
A
You. But you don't have to go back. You. First of all, they make. They make better cars now. And second of all, you could. You. You. You're not going to be in the. You're not gonna be in the position of having to get up at, you know, 7:00am to get into your car because you have to go to the UPS and things. Unless things go terribly south for you. Yeah, could happen, sure. But let's assume they don't. I think it's a safe bet. You're. You're.
B
Yeah, you're right. Now I can go from my house, I can start the car outside, heat the damn thing up before I ever even get into it. All the more, you go out, that thing's gone.
A
Well, that's why they call it Charm City.
B
Yeah, Charm City. Yeah. You know what I. You made me think of. We used to have these things, remember? This might even still be out there in the mall. Brookstone. Remember that store with all the gadgets and.
A
Sure, sure. So we used to have the Sky Mall of the malls.
B
Yeah, you're right. We used to have this game in class where they would sell this thing that kind of looks like the car keys now, where you press the button and the little thing flicks up out of it. It's that metal key, you know, but.
A
It was just a. Oh, the spare key in case you're in an emergency. That thing.
B
No, you know, like some. I don't know, some of the.
A
Oh, I do know what you're talking about. It's almost like a switchblade.
B
Yeah. And it's just a little. Just a little.
A
Yes, yes.
B
So they would sell something similar to that that would. It would heat up and it would go in your car key or your door lock. Yeah. It would melt the ice and then you could get your key open and that thing would fucking get hot.
A
Yeah.
B
And so that was the point we have. I mean real like ridiculously hot. It didn't need to get that hot, but it got hot. And about four or five of us had them and we'd sit in class and just in the middle of class, it'd be somewhere like that, but quietly from behind. And you get them right in here. Oh, right in this song. And you just be sitting in class and sit there and just sit. And you go. And the teacher like, what's going on back there? You're like, nothing. You just had to take it. Cuz you knew you were going to get them later.
A
And there was a good burned second where it's touching your skin.
B
Yeah. See it?
A
Or. And then it's immediate like. God damn. What the. What the. Dude? Mr. Sickler, is everything okay?
B
It's fine. It's burning like a song.
A
Tiniest spontaneous combustion just happened. Just very site specific. On my. Underneath my elbow. Oh boy. Well, I think we've made a case for you to move back to Baltimore.
B
Maybe. I do. I think about it all the time. I do. I look at property there a lot.
A
Yeah.
B
But I also, when I. When it's time, I don't want to be on top of everybody anymore. Like, I like a little bit of space and breathing room. And that's why I moved to Brooklyn. Yeah.
A
Yeah. I mean, is that.
B
Not p. I mean, that seems to me like a lot of people too.
A
Well, I'm not in downtown Brooklyn. I'm in. I mean, I'm in a. I mean all of Brooklyn pretty much is. You know, it's tighter, denser, but it's.
B
You have more breathing room.
A
Way more. Way more trees. Way more. Yeah. Oh, yeah.
B
That's what I'm talking.
A
Yeah. And I love it. I'm. I'm. I wouldn't go back To Manhattan at all?
B
No, no.
A
But. So. So let's go back. Why did your wife leave you? And you don't have to answer that right now.
B
I'm gonna answer everything. Don't worry.
A
Okay. Cuz you can take a second.
B
Yeah, no worries.
A
We come back to it.
B
I got a lot of therapy. I could answer that. We were never married.
A
Okay.
B
We were engaged.
A
Right.
B
She already had a son. She had a son from his father.
A
Makes sense.
B
I met him when he's about 6 and I've been in his life ever since. He considers himself my stepson. I'm very close with his dad.
A
We talked about this when I did your podcast. I did your podcast a couple years ago and I remember. I remember. Sorry, I just. You go ahead. I'm not gonna interrupt. I just remember you being impressed with my parallel parking skills because you came out and you knocked on the window. I didn't know who the you were. It was like, what? And we were kind of in, like. I mean, it's whatever. West side la. There's no. It's just sort of an in between. Is it residential? Is it business? I don't know what it is. And is just some dude wrapping up my window. Like, what? Yeah, Hi. Like, that's some good parallel parking.
B
Crushed it. You should have seen it. It's a thing of beauty. I judge people on. Like that. Yeah, that's East Coast, 10 minutes. That's parking this. God, that's the other thing. You don't have driveways. A lot. You got a street park on the East Coast. A lot of street parking.
A
Now go back to you were talking about.
B
He's. He's. You know, I call him my stepson. And then I dated his mom for. It was like a couple years. And then we split for a couple years. And then she hit me back up. And then slowly we got back together and.
A
Can't stay away from that sickler D. Come on now.
B
I don't know about that. Listen. Yes, she can. She's permanently away from it. It's not a problem for her. And she had said to me, like, I don't want to. You know, we talked about having a child. I really wanted to have a kid, and so did she. But she wanted to be married. She said, I've already had a kid out of wedlock. Been there, done that. I don't want to do that. And at the time, I'm 40, she's 39. And the conversation became. Okay. Realistically, it could take us three years to have a kid.
A
Sure. Yeah.
B
You know, it's, it's funny that there are a gazillion of us, but when you really want to make a child, it's not as easy.
A
No, I had the same. I had or I had that experience. Yeah.
B
So the compromise was we get engaged at least.
A
Okay.
B
And so about a year later, we get engaged and we start trying to. I was 40 at that time. We start trying to have a baby within three months. It happened. So. Very lucky with that.
A
Very lucky. Yeah.
B
And then a year later, sorry, when.
A
You say try, you're talking about. Okay, we're gonna.
B
Apps and the ovulation windows and yes, that's what I mean by trying. Yes, the science part of it went through the same thing having a child, but again, if we were 19 and didn't want it, there's triplets, you know. But then a year into it, she decided, don't really want to do this anymore. Don't want to get married, don't want to have a family like that. So we split. And when I'm, when my daughter's one, I'm a new dad still. And now I'm a new single dad.
A
She's hard, man.
B
That's bro.
A
That's really.
B
She's got hindsight of also raising a child, you know, it's hard for both of you.
A
It's quite, it's something that, that a new mom would say, you know, I'm going to do this. You know, we'll do this. We'll co parent, but I'm going to. A lot of this I'm going to do by myself. Like, that's quite a bold move. Hey, folks, if you're constantly on the move or just tired of skipping meals, Huel has you covered. Here they are right here. They're today sponsored spelled H U E L And their Black Edition ready to drink is a total game changer. This is it. You can see there's. It says the word Black Edition. That's how you know that it's the Black Edition. It's a complete meal in one bottle with 35 grams of protein, 27 vitamins and minerals, high fiber and low sugar. So you feel full, focused and ready for your day. No prep, no cleanup, just grab and go. Huel's already sold over 500 million meals around the world and now it's your new customers get 15% off plus a free gift@huel.com when you use my code senses, don't miss out. Try it today. Now. I would because I have had dranken. Dranken drunken. I'VE drunk from these Huel bottles before, right here on camera. You've seen me do it. I would with this one, but as you can see, it's already been opened. And one of the folks here, Emma, who's one of the producers here, has already had about half of the bottle. And I don't know. I mean, she seems very nice, but I don't know what her lifestyle is outside of this office. So I don't. I'm not going to drink. I'm not going to put my lips to it, or otherwise I would, because I've had it and it's delicious. That's 15% plus a free gift for new customers using my exclusive code senses at Huell. Please see our description for the terms and conditions. Skip the stress, not the nutrition. Try Huel today for complete nutrition.
B
Bottled so it becomes 50. 50. Because I don't want to be a Wednesday every other weekend.
A
Dad, it's your.
B
I want to be a dad.
A
It's your kid. Yeah.
B
And this is everything I've wanted now, being ripped away.
A
So.
B
So, I mean, I'm able to laugh about things now. Like we had this one. That must be paradox, dude.
A
Hard to process.
B
And it almost killed me and constantly almost died. It gets wild after this. It gets wild. Health takes a big downhill turn after this. And we were on care.com, we found this really nice lady, was a caretaker watching my daughter. And I'm moving out while this lady's. And she's crying. She's. Every day, she's like, how are you? Are you. I cannot believe. And I was like. I sit next to her, I start crying. I'm like, listen, I gotta do this. So the more you cry, the longer it's gonna take me to move my shit out of here. And I appreciate your, you know, empathy here, but I can do this. And I'm just moving my shit out. And then I find a place and I'm terrified. I'm terrified of everything. I have a new kid I don't know anything about.
A
I'm still. There's such a sense of betrayal and having the rug pulled out from under you. And did any of this come up at all? Or was it a total.
B
Well, let's remember this. David Cross. We did date for two years prior to. And then we split. So there's not a lot. You're. There's not a lot of new things that come up with the problems. The old ugly stuff rears its head again eventually.
A
I guess I meant the answer is yes.
B
Were there Red flags and things. Yeah, for both of us.
A
I don't mean red flags. I mean, like, was there any kind of communication? Like, hey, I don't know if I'm feeling very comfortable having a partner in this or any. Broaching the subject, I guess is what I'm saying. Before, she just said, hey, this isn't working for me. You gotta split.
B
There was never moments where it was softer kind or intellectual like that. It was always, I'm sorry, Ben. Arguments and 10. You know, listen, honestly, it is the best thing because we do co parent great together. We're just not meant to be partners.
A
I wouldn't like her. I would. I would. I mean, I don't like her now. I would resent her. I don't know if that feeling would ever go away. And yes, you have to. You have to overlook or ignore or give certain things up. And you're emotionally. If you're gonna be successfully co parenting. Yeah, I get that. But I would still have a. I don't know if I could shake the resentment.
B
Oh, Listen, it's been 10 years. The first few years were not. Yeah, they weren't. They were hot for both of us. You know, she had her grapes, I had my gripes. And I'm fighting back. I'm not her. Right. She.
A
She kicked. No, she.
B
I'm no longer. I'm no longer taking it. I'm gonna fight back.
A
Right.
B
But also, I'm in a position where I feel. How many kids do you have?
A
103. No, wait, no, I have one. I sometimes mix my baseball card collection up with my daughter. No, I have. I have way more than 103 baseball cards. I have one daughter.
B
Well, how old?
A
Just turned eight.
B
Eight?
A
Yeah.
B
Okay, so you're in this. My daughter's 10 now, so at one, I go get this apartment, a single dad apartment. I'm not embarrassed to say it all. It was.
A
You shouldn't be embarrassed about any. I.
B
It was a two bedroom, one bath, no central air, no central heat.
A
That you should be embarrassed.
B
The wall unit. Like, no central air, no central air on the west side, no central. I had to get a place.
A
West side is not.
B
That's what everyone says. That's bullshit. No, you need air on the west side. Live there. You need air.
A
I mean, maybe now there's like two.
B
Months out of the year, you need air. But parking is tandem. Our balcony is above a two dumpsters. You're hearing them drag them out every Monday and Wednesday. That's where we're going. We have a pool in the courtyard that does not have a fence or anything around it. And they ask me to sign something saying that that's okay. And I do. Because what I decide is if I'm going to be a father in this world, then I need to teach my kids some things. And the first thing we're going to learn how to do is swim. And so I, you know, I put a screen door and a baby gate when she was 1, but as soon as she was 2, boom. Put her right in the pool. We put her in lessons.
A
Yeah.
B
And then she just cried. And then during COVID I was like, all you're gonna do is swim. Now she's a fish, you know, So I went out there every day, made her swim, swim, swim. So, you know, I. But also, again, she was a mom already. She had a kid. And one night, my daughter wakes up with croup. You know, the cough.
A
Yeah.
B
I didn't know what the fuck that was the first time I heard her coming out of our kid.
A
I thought, you sound like a walrus.
B
I thought she was dying.
A
Yeah.
B
And I always say, it can't happen on my watch.
A
Yeah. I have that feeling of, like, it.
B
Can'T happen on my watch, you know?
A
Yeah.
B
It can't happen on dad's watch.
A
When they're young, you have that. You do actually think these thoughts of, like, before mom comes or the, you know, daycare or whoever or whatever it is, like. And it's just you, you know, maybe for the weekend, you're like, okay, good. I got through 48 hours and nothing happened. Okay.
B
So I call her, and she's still angry and stuff, too, so she just tells me to man up. That's what she told me. So I manned up. And I'll tell you how.
A
Looking for help. Looking.
B
Yeah. I didn't know what it was. I had never heard of it.
A
And she took. Wait. Her daughter has a. Is emitting a guttural sound that sounds like a dying walrus. Right. I've heard that. We've heard it. And you're scared. You don't know. And she. You're looking for help from somebody who lives in the same town, right down the street, minutes away, who says a.
B
Child who cares also is. Yes. Yeah.
A
That's fucked up.
B
That's the kind of fighting it was at first.
A
That's fucked up for sure.
B
Yeah.
A
And it's not. It's not. It's not debatable. That's just a shitty thing to say. I mean, for both you and the kid. That's Just shitty.
B
Thank God for Google. Thank God for Google. I couldn't. I don't know how I'd have done. I don't know. I don't know what kind of single dad I'd have been in the 80s, you know what I'm saying?
A
You would have figured it out. And everybody has over time. And it's just the idea that there's help and that help is being taken away from you in such a shitty, it almost seems petty way is, you know, doubly. And then you gotta ignore it. You gotta go, all right, I gotta figure this out myself. Let's do it. I'll be angry later.
B
In the end, was better, was better for me. You, you, you start to real.
A
I think it was a tough love thing. You think she's gonna walk in and go, I don't think there was a.
B
Method to her madness.
A
I had a 10 year test for you and you passed it. Congratulations.
B
Here's where we are at this point. I promise you this. We switch with each other. When I need to go on the road and work, she switches. Her mom just passed away. You know, I just, I was like, I got my daughter for three weeks, whatever. I love it. I don't get to see her. I get 50. 50.
A
Yeah.
B
You know, so.
A
But not a true 50. 50 because you're on the road and we all know what that's like.
B
Well, here's the thing. I built my stand up around that. I refuse to.
A
Yeah.
B
Sacrifice. Because as you know, you get 18 years and of those 18 years, maybe they remember. They start remembering things at four, maybe. And then maybe around 13, they want to hang out with their friends.
A
You got about, yeah.
B
Decade of quality time and now that's been cut in half.
A
Right.
B
And that's where my first thoughts were. And then just because you live right over there down the street, it felt like Mars to me. What's going on over there? Who's coming in over there? Who's who? You know, what's going on? Who are you seeing? Who's doing this? Where's she going? What friends is she hanging out with? And it just, you know, all that anxiety at first and then I would worry about like, well, if she dates a boyfriend who has older kids, are they going to get my daughter addicted to drugs? Are they going to abuse her? Or they got da da, da, da da da. And so then it was like, get your fucking ass in therapy and stop this future tripping and every worst case scenario that you can possibly create. And I dealt with that first and then right when she said she wanted to split, I felt like these weird. I would rub my hands on my jeans and I could feel, like, my veins in my legs like a topographical map. What the is that? So I call the hospital. Like, you're clotting. You need to get into the hospital. The hospital right away.
A
And those are real things. It's not mental. You. You can. Oh, wow, okay.
B
And I was like, what? They're like, you're clotting. So I go in and.
A
And I'm sorry, what is the cause of clotting? Is it worry? Is it.
B
Well, this is what I find out. I don't know. And I'm not even joking to this. Like, we joke enough. My daughter's mother and I, where. When we first went in, I told the doctor, I grabbed the body thing. I go, check me for low grade poison. He goes, what? I go, check me for low grade. He goes, that's pretty specific. I go, she watches snapped in all those shows all the time.
A
Were you serious or were you joking?
B
This came out of nowhere. I was half serious, half joking. He goes, I can tell you right now, you're not poisoned. I go, okay, thanks. And what ended up happening was I had kidney stones. And then there were complications with the kidney stones, and then it gets worse and worse. So I'm still not even moved out at this point when I'm going through this. I'm in the middle of moving out, and I just come home one day and they tell me, you know, you may have leukemia, you may have cancer. And I'm like, what? So now I'm like, losing my kid, my family, they're telling me I may have cancer. They don't know what's going on with me. It's a six month thing. And I come home one day and I just. I lost it. I just. I really did. I broke down, I started crying. I looked at her, I go, hey, I'm gonna wave a white flag here. I don't want to argue anymore. Like, they just told me I might have cancer, and I'm not gonna know for a few more weeks. So I'd really appreciate it if we could just take our foot off the gas and stop going at each other like that. She was very good about it. And then I end up finding out that good news is I don't. I'll never forget going to this oncologist and the lady's like, how do you feel? And I go, I'm terrified. I'm terrified. You have the answers. You're about to tell me if my life is going to change. And she said, well, good news is you don't have cancer. And I was like, oh, just, you know, she goes, how do you feel? And I go, relieved. And she goes, listen to me. It's my job every day to tell people that they do have cancer. And she goes, and today I got to tell someone they didn't. And I'm telling you right now, go home and you celebrate that. And the way she said it, I was like, I'm going to. God damn it. I'm gonna go fucking celebrate it. But what I do have is a blood disease called factor V Leiden. And it just means that I'm prone. My blood's thick, and I'm prone to clotting, okay? But all this comes out because this shit happens to me, and all this shit happens to me at 42, which is the exact same age. My father dies, and after going through a divorce with my mother and everything else, it is a wild fucking parallel.
A
And so it's genetic, getting divorced in your family's genes, Genetics in your genes.
B
100%. It's in our genes. Yes. Single dads. Single dads are in our genes.
A
And so that must have occurred to.
B
You that, well, that's when, at 42, I start backtracking. And now we're piecing all this together, like, oh, dad didn't die of a heart attack. Dad died of this genetic. Here. Now my brothers have to go get tested.
A
Well, that's good. Then. Then. Then you can get ahead of it.
B
And nobody in the family has it but me. He passed it on to me. Now I have to have my daughter tested later because if she has this. Birth control pills are a problem because they already are prone to clotting. Any kind of bed rest, a car accident, a pregnancy. Like you're a ticking time bomb if you lay still. So I find out I have all this. And I'm going through. You know, there was a night where I was in so much pain. I'm laying on my bed in that single dad apartment, and I'm laying there and I'm. I'm crying. My chest is killing me. And I'm looking up at the. You know, the dead bugs and those fucking. You know what I'm talking about? That's what I'm like, is this what I'm. Is this what I'm gonna see while I'm dying to. Dead bugs and those little lamps up there, they didn't clean out. And I just gave myself up. I really gave Myself up. And then I fucking woke up. And I was like, you. You have to fucking figure this out. And I just kept going and kept going. And after six months, they figure out what it is. They get me on medications and they set me on my way and I'm good. I' Until a couple years ago, two years ago exactly when I go get a back surgery and I tell them I have this. And they let me lay still for almost a week at Cedars Sinai and I clot and almost die.
A
And then it's oh, because for the convalescing from the surgery, no.
B
So what happened was I went in for what I was told was a simple 3 hour outpatient back surgery. And I go home for the weekend, but the swelling isn't going down. And the doctor said, send me a picture. And he said, okay, it looks like you might have some internal bleeding. And it's just pulling there. Come back in. They open me back up and they fix it and they go. But instead of the original recovery was to walk lightly and do things. But he's like, now you need to lay and let that recover. And I was like, I can't just lay.
A
But he know. You told him. He knows.
B
It's in all of my pre op paperwork. But it's not him. He's done. It's now I'm at Cedars Sinai. And this is the problem I talk about all the time. It was the care and it wasn't any problem with the. It was the care and keeping of me at the hospital. And I'm telling them, I can't fucking lay still. I can't lay still. I'll die. I can't lay still for a week. I'm in there five, six days. And the day. Everything worked differently that day. The occupational therapist had come in at like 5am to tell me, we're gonna do your steps. And then if you do it, you can get out of here. And they had just given me Dilaudid and I was fucked up and I was like, can you come back? Yeah, and do this a little later. She's like, no problem. So she comes back.
A
You wanna enjoy that high?
B
I mean, I could step it. Yeah. I can't be stepping or anything. But again, the single dab pad saves me because there's one flight of stairs going up to my door. Okay? If I don't have stairs, I go home one day early. But because I have stairs, they asked me to stay an extra day and prove I can walk upstairs on my own. And again, another fortunate thing she goes, well, the hallway stairwell is locked, so I brought a little step stool thing in here. We're just gonna go up and down, and I want you to show me you can do this. And I do it. And she says, Mr. Sickler, congratulations. As your occupational therapist, I can happily tell you that today you can finally go home. And that moment, I grab my chest like Fred G. Sanford and I fucking clutch. And I say, I'm clotting. And she's like, what? I go, I'm clotting. And I collapse on the bed. This poor lady, I wish I could see her again someday. She runs out and gets someone. Surgeon runs in. I don't. I can't see anything. I'm just. I feel it. I know, because this has happened to me. And he's like, what's going on? I was like, I'm clotting. He goes, how do you know? I said, I've clotted before. He said, do you feel like there's an elephant on your chest? I said, I feel like there's three of them on my fucking chest. And he goes, do you feel any heart attack symptoms? I said, no. And he goes, how about now? And I go, oh, my God, yes. And the pain's going down the left arm and the jaw. And he goes, sir, you might be clotting and having a heart attack. I collapse, I black out. I wake up and they're like, you're lucky to be the surgeon. David Cross came in crying for me, crying. And I go, why are you crying? He's like, you don't even know how lucky you are to be alive. You have massive pulmonary embolisms. He's like, right now your heart's twice its size. And he goes, the problem is this blood disease you have. Normally they can go in through your groin and just, like, suck the clots out. He goes, because of what you have, we can't do that. Or we could basically make you a vegetable. And I was like, okay, well, we're not doing that. He's like, so we have to give you the old school blood thinner through an IV. And I'm telling you right now that the next 48 hours for you are touch and go, and you should make some calls. And I was like, wow.
A
And your state of mind is clear. Yeah.
B
I'm like. And I'm also like, I'm. I'm everything. I'm angry. I'm not in there because I'm smoking too much or drinking too much or not eating or not working out. I'm in there Safe genetic luck. Well, also, they didn't listen. It's genetic luck. But if they just would have put me on a blood thinner or got me up and move, yeah, move my body. I'm good. I'm telling people every day and they're not listening.
A
So do you. Are you more active now? Because you have to be like, I.
B
Have to be like, golfing isn't really a thing I think I want to do, but I think I'm going to do it just because I want to walk. I need to get my machine in motion and I'm competitive, so fuck, probably go golf in my 60s or something. But yeah, it was. I had to call my daughter's mother and be like, they just told me I might not live. And she's like, what are you talking about? What's going on? And had to call a few people and be like, I had to call my business manager. I'm like, we joked about that whole life insurance. I was like, make sure that shit's. He's like, what? I'm like, yeah, make sure. So I'm in there for after that. It took almost. It was three weeks. Almost the whole month of January I spent in the hospital. And then I get out and your.
A
Daughter'S how old at this point?
B
At that point, she's only seven.
A
Well, it's still enough to be terrified.
B
They won't even let her visit, they say. They tell me she's too young. They still saying Covid bullshit in 2023. I'm like, no. And I wouldn't FaceTime her. I would talk to her, but, I mean, I'm fucked up. Yeah, I look like I'm about to die. The tubes are up. I'm out of it. I don't want to scare her, so. But I talk to her every day. And then eventually, like week three, I tell her mom, just fuck them. You're her mom. You're not a guardian. When you get here, you tell them, we're her parents and we're telling she's coming. So they. They backed off and let her come up.
A
And how did she react?
B
My daughter, man, if she was obviously, like, she was being so sweet, people would send flowers. So she's looking at the flowers and she's putting them in my hair, and she's decorating the bed with the flowers and just trying to. And she's getting up on the bed and hugging me and. And you get me all upset. It didn't really hit me too, because her teacher at the time emailed me and said, I didn't know this lady. And she just said. So I said, you're not doing so great. And I was like, oh, man. My kids at school.
A
Yeah.
B
Worried and telling people. And at the time I'm in the hospital, I'm also. I just shot my first special. I'm releasing the special. Go watch my special lefty son on my YouTube. The guy who gave me this blood disease. I had no idea. As I'm naming the special that. And we're in Austin to promote. And it was spring break for my daughter, so I took her with me. And I've known Tom and Christina for 20 some years. So I take her down, we go hang out, play with the kids and stuff. And we have a hotel one night, and I don't know what my daughter was thinking. And we were laying in the bed and she just rolled over. And she goes, you made it out of the hospital, dad. Out of nowhere, she's like, you made it. And I was. I just started ball and she started ball. And I was like, I. That's beautiful, man. So she's been good about it ever since. She likes to tell her friends that I almost died and stuff. But the doctor, this last time she went for a physical, she's 10 now, was like, would you like to test her for her blood to see? And I was like, we don't need to do that now. We don't need to test her yet. There's no reason to test her until we need to test her. But this is a thing that a lot of people have. And I could have too. Like, it's a blood disease that I didn't know I had. I'm born with it, 42 years, I don't find out about it. You know what I mean? So also, if you don't have an incident, you could live to be 90 years old and just never even know.
A
You had this shit and are passing it on to and.
B
Right? Yeah, man.
A
And where is your stepson in all this? Is he able to visit? Is he.
B
Let me tell you, that kid. I joke about the ROI on that kid, but what a return on investment. Being nice to that kid turned out to be. He took me to my surgery. Yeah, he came to the hospital nonstop. When I was home for the weekend, he came over, helped me change bandages, took pictures. Oh, sorry. Took pictures. Was constantly coming up and checking on me. He's a great big brother. They're 11 years apart, and he's great. He comes over.
A
Good to hear.
B
He's a really good big brother. So, yeah, he really stepped up and helped me out big time.
A
Well, that wasn't a very funny story. I think people. People are like, well, what's going on? Who invited Captain. Captain bring down? I just. I'm. Of all the details in that story. I'm just. I'm shocked that the surgeon was also named David Cross.
B
He was. I couldn't believe it either. If I'd have known you at that time.
A
Yeah.
B
You really want to hear something that's wild and funny? This is true story. I'm in there. I've just clotted. I'm out of my mind. And there's a lot of Filipina nurses in. In the hospital. And they had seen. One of the nurses out there looked me up and she's like, oh, we saw your comic. And I'm like. And this Filipina nurse is wheeling me in, and she goes, do you know Joe Corey?
A
I was gonna say that. I was going to say that. I was going to say that. I didn't to interrupt, but that's literally. Yeah, no joke. She's like, can you FaceTime?
B
I'm like, I'm not FaceTiming Joe Coy, lady. But I'm texting him.
A
That's Joe Coy.
B
It's so many levels. This lady's trying to get me to FaceTime you right now. And so he did. He tried to FaceTime in, and she had stepped out, I swear to God. And when she came back, I go, your boy just tried to FaceTime right now. And she goes, calm back. I'm not calling him back. And then he wrote back. He goes, don't worry. When she leaves, there'll be another one that comes right behind. And it was another Filipino nurse right behind her.
A
Yeah, I knew. I was like, yeah. They were like, do you know Joe Coy?
B
No. Joe Coy. And shout out to Joe Coy offered to pay for all my medical bills. Wow. Very sweet of him.
A
Good for him.
B
He flexed on me while I was in hospital. He's like, I got it, you know? And I was like, we all know you got it. We all know you got it.
A
Let's wait and see how your movie.
B
See if I also. Yeah, let's see if I make it out of here. If I don't, you can pay for my funeral cost.
A
That's. Well, that's very, very generous of them.
B
That's.
A
That's very nice.
B
Yeah.
A
What the. The thing about. Oh, yes. That I had rotator cuff surgery and. And I went into the operating theater, you know, which is way and I've had other surgeries before, but this one was, like, really big. And like, it's. It. The thing with the windows up at the top, like, it's a big. Like, are students watching and stuff. Yeah. And it's like. It's just more than I've ever experienced with that kind of stuff. And. And as. As they're, you know, everything's being prepped, and they've already given me a little bit of the Valium IV and, you know, but all this stuff is going on, and. And the. One of the. I guess the anesthetists. The anesthesiologist comes over, and as he's putting the mask on me, and so it's like that classic film shot of. All my eyes could see is the mask coming on in his face. And he's like, oh, I'm a huge wrestler development fan thing. I get like, you know what? There's nothing to say. Okay, now we're gonna cut you open.
B
That's what he said.
A
Yeah. All right. And. And one time I had to get a colonoscopy, and it was the last. Last one I got. I've had a couple of them just for fun, you know, I don't have to have them, but I enjoy the. The whole thing. And it's a good excuse, you know, but again, similar situation, much, much less. I mean, it was just a room, you know, and. But the. The people on the floor, the nurses and stuff are. And, you know, it's a colonoscopy, so you're on your side, and your ass is about to be. You know, it's already exposed, but they're like, we love Alvin and the Chipmunks. You got an Alvin and the Chipmunks? Right before I lose consciousness and they go into my asshole. It's true. It's too 100% true.
B
We, by the way, the group of them behind you.
A
And because of the way that stuff works, they've got it. You know, obviously, I'm not saying anything that isn't understood, but it's. It down, literally down to a science where you go out and then it's like you wake up. And when you wake up, it's not the classic, like, what's going. Like, you wake up. You wake up and, you know, a little groggy, but you're like, oh, I'm in a different room. And I know I was here for this thing and. But I'm. You're like. And they're like, okay, you can go. Huh? Oh, okay. How did it go? What time Is it. What day is it? You know, that kind of thing. But to have, you know, we're big Alvin Chipmunks fans, go on, go out with your ass, you know, laying sideways with your ass out and then wake up in a different room like, hey, it's a helmet.
B
And the Chipmunks for your ass is my favorite did.
A
When, When I was having the surgery, did other people come in and hey, did they get on the PA and go, hey, if anybody wants to check out the Alvin the Chipmunks guy, the guy who stole the Chipmunks his ass, everybody wants to check out his asses in room 32.
B
I did a colonoscopy last year and I took the prep. I did exactly what they said I was supposed to. Oh God, that awful timing and everything.
A
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
B
And then all of a sudden, that's the worst part about my buddy's there daughter. We've known each other since 9th grade, coincidentally.
A
Tell people what the prep is, what you get for those who don't know.
B
Okay, so I had like a. Was it a. I think it was a powder or something.
A
Yeah, it's like that magnesium water.
B
And then you got to drink it.
A
Set your alarm too.
B
That's what I was. It was like every five minutes, I want to say, and it's like, bang, bang. You got to drink enough of them. And there's two rounds of that. You. Then you take a break and then there's another round later. It's like a midday and evening.
A
Oh, that's it. I had. I remember having to. I remember having to set my alarm to do it.
B
Yeah. So I'm saying it's. You're. You're right. I did like a 1am or something like that. But I got it. You got to go to the pharmacy. It was a. Yeah, they said there was one you could do over the counter, but I just took the prescription one. She's like, if you use this stuff, you can do it too. I was like, but you have to.
A
Drink like a gallon. So much of it, the stuff and the water combined and it's.
B
And I start feeling nauseous and my buddy's looking at me and I was like, I think I'm a fucking throw up. And I just start violently puking. Just.
A
There's a gallon of non stop, like.
B
Ah, like, like the stand by me scene, you know? And I just look up at him and I'm like, did I do something wrong? He starts laughing so fucking hard and I don't know if I want to do this. So then I set my alarm. You're right. I get up in the middle of night, I do it, but I'm not like, it's not. And I'm like, there's no way I'm gonna be able to do this. And then like three in the morning, I start to go a little bit and then I go in and I tell him, I'm like, look, man, I threw up. Yeah, I was not clear at all this morning. He's like, oh, we might not be able to do this. And I'm like, well, I have to get off blood thinners for this now, so I'd really like to do this, if we can do this. He's like, well, I'm gonna put you out and I'll let you know when we wake up if we could do it or not. When he wakes me up, he's like, you were clear as, as a bell back there. And I was like, I, I. Which made me realize, what must they see when they come in? If he thought that was good? Because that was not good.
A
And what kind of bells are he. Is he seeing if that was clear as a bell? Is he, Is he, is he used to shit covered bells.
B
Shitty bells, man.
A
Shitty bells. Wow.
B
Yeah, it's fun getting older.
A
It is all part, part and parcel of getting older. It really is.
B
I mean, is there anything you do now that you like 18 year old, you would punch you in the face for and vice versa?
A
I don't think so. Like, in what sense? What do you mean? Like in a. I think 18 year.
B
Old me would punch me in the face if he saw me cry at commercials.
A
Oh, well.
B
And I would punch 18 year old me in the face for littering. I littered. I littered a little too much when I was younger.
A
Absolutely.
B
I, I don't even believe I used to do it. And then one day I was like, I would what?
A
I have way more things that I would punch 18 year old me for than 18 year old would punch me. I, I think, I don't think there's a whole lot. I think I'd, I actually, I'll tell you what it wouldn't be. It wouldn't be punching 18 year old wouldn't punch 60 year old me, but 18 year old me would be like, wow, I'm really disappointed in you. I expected more 18 year old. Oh for sure. Like I had, I had such grand visions of what I would, you know, what I would be doing with my, like, I can't believe you're playing that game on your phone. You could be reading that Nabokov book. You know. I can't believe my 18 year old would be quite disappointed in me. But 18 year old would be exceedingly proud of me as a father and husband. But there's not too much. I mean I, I would, I 18 year old, I, I would just sort of sit back because I was, I was very, you know, the, in that sense that 18 year olds have of like immortal. In the sense like nothing can hurt me, I can do whatever I want and that would be irritating. But it, it, the meta part of it is like I shouldn't be too irritated because I turned out okay. You know, and I lived long enough to see the technology that would allow me to go visit my 18 year old self, which I'm thrilled with, which is actually, you can now get it at Brookstone to bring it.
B
They sell it right next to the.
A
Yeah, to bring it around. But I mean I would, I, I would. There's plenty of pretension that I had and like, you know, who you trying to kid? You know, that kind of like. And also music snob, comedy snob, that kind of annoying judgmental behavior, a little condescending about certain things and which I still have in, In a. I try to be better about it and I think about how much great music I missed out on. I mean I listen to it now but like I wouldn't listen to any southern rock at all.
B
Really. No Almond Brothers?
A
No. I mean to yet. To my detriment.
B
But why, what was the.
A
Oh, because I was, I was in the punk and I, I, and I grew up in, you know, like redneck Skynyrd stuff and I was like that Led Zeppelin and, and I was just into punk and kind of new wave stuff and, and you know, now I listen to. I mean I'm just amazed at some Skynyrd songs where it's like that is a perfect song, you know, and that.
B
Clip, they, they just keep playing Freebird. I see a lot on social media now, but the double guitar at the end, I've gotten again a new.
A
Oh, it's an amazing song. I mean they're, they had so many.
B
And the, that documentary on them. You ever seen like the behind the Music on them and stuff?
A
I don't know which one it was. I saw the one about the plane crash and the survivors and went up.
B
To the door and the guy shot him.
A
Yeah, yeah. Artemis Pile, right? Was that Artemis Pyle? Yeah.
B
Surviving a plane crash, only to be shot after.
A
That's, that's America. That's that's, that's, that's the south in a nutshell, man. That's.
B
Yeah, that's a right.
A
Is Artemis Pile not the best Southern name? It's that and then the old, the Georgia UGA quarterback had the best like kind of moneyed Stetson Bennett. Ivan. Oh is such a classic Southern old money. Yeah, it's a classic Southern name. Stetson Bennett IV used to be a cologne called Stetson.
B
Remember Stetson Cologne?
A
I remember Stetson Bennett the fourth cologne.
B
I only remember Stetson Cologne because it was. Were you a wrestling fan?
A
No.
B
See I was growing up as a kid and it was always at the end Lord Alfred Hayes would say Stetson Cologne. He was like a sponsor of the WWF back then.
A
Now I'm, I'm older than you, so. And I grew up Georgia and we had, I mean do you remember, you know like Dusty Rhodes, the American dream, all those like early guys, right? And, and I used to go to some wrestling matches like out in the woods and just like weird, really weird and, but more as a, you know, as what I would look back at 18 year old, like cultural, you know, which I would still do, I guess. Like just soaking in all of it. And, and I wasn't like a fan. I didn't follow it very well. But I saw plenty of matches. And then we had on, I think it was you getting to see like.
B
Dusty Rose and stuff back in the day and matches like that.
A
No, I didn't see. Not in those. These were like really the small town small matches.
B
And like the guy's trying to get.
A
Like a high school kind of gym kind of thing. And, and, but we had whatever the show was called, a wrestling show. Gordon solely. Do you remember him? The announcer and then, God, who was it? There were the, the twins who can't remember their names but they were like twins who did. And there was Dusty Rhodes. There was, I think that was Ric Flair was around then. I want to say, I don't know if this is pre Rowdy Roddy Piper and it was like that era, but it was so, it was so clearly, I mean, clearly fake. I mean I'm talking low, low end single, A, you know, ball of wrestling where you know, it's like a match and then there's, I don't know, it's a TV studio audience and I don't know where they even shot it. Somewhere outside of Atlanta I guess. And it was, I don't know, maybe 40 people tops because they have to have cameras.
B
So wait, you take a room like this, you're saying there's a wrestling ring right in there, and it's just a small studio audience.
A
Small. I'm guessing 40.
B
Okay.
A
At max, you know, maybe 50, you know, and. And only on three sides because you have to have cameras. And. And back then, you know, this is 70s, so big, bulky cameras and. And just, you know, the whole thing with the. The. The ref looking the other way and people going, hey, man, you go. He gonna be. He picking up a metal chair. Look at. He picking up a metal chair. He about to swing the metal chair. You know, whatever. And then the guy, you know, looks like. And. And also the thing about getting the head and the turnbuckle, where they'd be like that cartoonish. And I was a kid, and I'm like, how I get the entertainment value? But you guys don't really think this is for real, do you?
B
It didn't dawn on me that it wasn't real until it's elementary school. We were into it. So my era is Bob. Bob Backlin has the belt. Iron Sheik beats him. And then they have Hulk Hogan beat the Iron Sheik. And they Hulkamania born. And it's the whole US versus Russia, everybody. Well, I.
A
The Sheik was Iran, right?
B
He's from Iran.
A
Yeah, Iran. And. And then what was the other?
B
Nikolai Volkov was from Russia. That was his tag team partner.
A
Of course it was.
B
You know, which is so funny because.
A
Oh, Sergeant Slaughter.
B
Sergeant Slaughter.
A
Sergeant Slaughter, the Iron Cheek. Right? And I remember signs, and people had signs at the. I was in Boston at this point with like, hey, Sergeant Slaughter, take a chic on the iron. Oh, and Abdullah the Butcher.
B
Abdul the Butcher.
A
I remember Abdullah the Butcher.
B
Just watched his documentary. Oh, he has a doc Vice does a whole bunch of these called, like, Dark side of the Ring. You know, do dark sides. He's got one because he opened up.
A
A barbecue place cutting himself and stuff. Yeah, the cutting. I've learned that in the documentary.
B
Yeah.
A
Where they put the tiny little razor blade.
B
Yeah.
A
You know, and you wouldn't really see it, but then when they hit the turnbuckle, boom. Because it's your head, it bleeds.
B
And the sweat and everything.
A
Yeah, the. Because he opened up a barbecue place in Atlanta.
B
He did, yeah.
A
Abdullah the Butcher. Yes.
B
I mean, that's a good. That's a good segue, I think. I think so.
A
So, I mean, I wouldn't mind any job. And then the next job is you retire and open up a barbecue place. I would fucking love that.
B
I remember my dad would always go second Guy coming out is gonna win. And every time the second guy came out, he'd win him. We're like, how the. Do you know that? And then, as I'm getting older one day, you know, because I have a two brothers, and we're always wrestling and stuff, and my dad goes, you know, it's fake. We're like, it's not fake, dad. And he's like, let me ask you a question. What would you do if I threw you against the ropes? And I go, you know what I'd do? I'd hold on to him. And he goes, yep. And I was like, why do they always bounce off and come back for a clothesline?
A
Yeah, a clothesline. Why would you just hold the ropes.
B
And stop you from doing that?
A
But they're also moving their legs, too. They're not. It's not just the.
B
And I was like, why they. Ah. And then it just saw.
A
There is no Santa also, Ryan. There's no Santa. There is a tooth fairy. I'm not going to get into that right now. But there's no Santa.
B
My dad. My dad did. He got us a lot of culture. He took us to WWF when you see in those audiences. But he also used to take us to. I mean, we go to Oriole games, all that stuff, too. But we'd go see. Baltimore didn't have an NHL team. They had an AHL team called the Skipjacks. And for a while, they were the farm team for the Penguins, So they would be black and gold, but then they switched to capital, so they wore the red, white, and blue, and we would go to AHL hockey games. And.
A
I mean, I bet that was fun.
B
That was.
A
That's the.
B
That's the first time I ever heard cunt. First time I ever heard cunt.
A
Every. Everyone knows the first. Where they were the first time they heard.
B
And these two guys are screaming it. You know, ahl. These tickets don't cost much. It's, you know, the audience that's rolling into AHL in, like, 1980.
A
Yeah.
B
And in Baltimore. And these guys are. And my dad's like, you know, he. There, fuck this. And, you know, we're watching the fights and he's laughing and letting us, you know, get a little bit of that culture. But the guy starts saying, my dad. Finally, I remember, he goes, guys, I got my kids right here. And they were like, we're sorry. And then right back to, like, fog.
A
That I will say. And I've been to a thousand different sporting events, all different kinds, different levels, different places, different vibes and Energies. But almost all the time when anybody goes, you know, you're drunk and you're yelling or you're watching people who look almost like dangerous. And. And they got guys, my kids are here. They're. They're usually very much like, oh, sorry. Yes, sorry, sorry. Yeah, you know.
B
Yeah, they were. And they just went right back to it. A few minutes later, my dad just shrugged the show. I was like, what are you going to do?
A
Ryan, this has been an absolute pleasure and thank you for coming down.
B
Thank you for having me.
A
And I end every episode with a question from my daughter.
B
Your daughter came up with this question?
A
Yeah.
B
And.
A
So. Okay. Ryan Sickler. Oh, plug whatever you want to plug, please.
B
Everything's@ryancickler.com you can check out the Honeydew podcast. Check out David's episode of that. I've got a podcast called the Way Back where it's just all fun nostalgia as well. And I'm out on tour. Come see me if I'm in your town when you're around. RyanCickler.com Ryan Sickler on all your social media.
A
And I'm going to be at the Auto Bar, I think, in May in Baltimore. Yeah.
B
Are you really?
A
Absolutely. One of my top, favorite places to do shows.
B
I'm talking to you about it after this because I'm looking for a spot to go in Baltimore, and I didn't know they did it.
A
I love the Autobahn. I've been going there since, like, I think 2001 was the first time I went.
B
It's in Pigtown, isn't it?
A
I don't know what shitty neighborhood it's in.
B
I'm saying it. That used to be. And maybe it still is, but they would do punk shows in there.
A
Yeah, yeah, totally that. Because that's how I start. I started. I shouldn't say I started that way, but. But, you know, I did, you know, plenty of clubs and road work and stuff. But then at around 2000, 2001, something like that, I started going out and not doing clubs, not doing comedy clubs and going to music venues, having a band open up. And then I would do the show and just go for as long as I could before I had to pee. And then autobar was the. Was one of them. And since then, I've probably done it like five, six times.
B
No shit.
A
Yeah. Yeah.
B
All right. I know. I used to go see shows there all the time.
A
It's great. And I've had in the. I think the last two times or two or the. Maybe not the Last time. But two times prior to that. Somebody need medical attention?
B
Really?
A
That. Yeah, a woman. Both times fainting.
B
Are you still into any punk out of Baltimore? You know, Turnstile?
A
I don't. I don't know.
B
A lot of music teaches me them. I think Trapped Under Ice is another Baltimore band. That's good. Yeah.
A
I will check them out for sure. But yeah, autobar is great. Really fun show. Good. You know, they take care of you and it's just. I love the audience being right there. Standing room. You're. That's. You're not too high up. It's a. I love it. Anyway, so, Ryan Sickler, here is the. Your question from my daughter, Marlo. How can the sides of paper cut you if they're not sharp?
B
I guess the answer, I would say. I mean, hell, anything can be sharp at the right angle. You know, ask a prisoner about how they file down a spoon. Don't tell your daughter that. I would say that.
A
Yeah. But that spoon was filed to be sharp paper. She's looking at a piece of paper.
B
Going after something like that cut me. I would say that it's the slicing motion down that does the damage.
A
Okay. I don't. I'm not telling you how to answer.
B
Do you know the. Do you know that?
A
Oh, yeah.
B
Yeah. That's what I think it is. I think you take that straight edge and when you slice down it. Just because we're fragile.
A
I know the answer.
B
No, we're fragile.
A
I know the answer.
B
What is the answer? Wait, so you're going to tell me?
A
No, you know the answer. It's what you know.
B
It's slice.
A
Yeah, it's the angle and the site. You know, it doesn't happen often, but you can. But I'm not. I'm not telling you how to answer. And you've. We're good, Ryan. Thank you so much.
B
Thank you.
A
Senses Working Overtime is a Headgum podcast created and hosted by me, David Cross. The show is edited by Katie Skelton and engineered by Nicole Lyons with supervising producer Emma Foley. Thanks to Demi Druchin for our show Art and Mark Rivers for our theme song. For more podcasts by headgum, visit headgum.com or wherever you listen to your favorite shows. Leave us a review on Apple Podcasts and maybe we'll read it on a future episode. I'm not gonna do that. Thanks for listening. That was a Hitgum podcast. What is daddication?
B
The thing that drives me every day as a dad is Dariana. We call him Dae Date for short. Every day he's hungry for something, whether it's attention, affection, knowledge. And there's this huge responsibility in making sure that when he's no longer under, under my wing that he's a good person. I want him to be able to sit back one day and go, we worked together. We did a good job.
A
That's dedication. Find out more@fatherhood.gov brought to you by the U.S. department of Health and Human Services and the Ad Council.
Senses Working Overtime with David Cross: Episode Featuring Ryan Sickler
Hosted by Headgum
In this emotionally charged and humor-infused episode of "Senses Working Overtime", host David Cross engages in an intimate conversation with comedian and single father, Ryan Sickler. The episode delves deep into Ryan's personal journey, exploring his struggles, triumphs, and the intricate balance between fatherhood and his career in comedy.
Ryan Sickler opens up about his roots in Baltimore, Maryland, recounting his upbringing in a state rich with diverse landscapes—from the bustling Chesapeake Bay to the serene Appalachian Mountains.
Ryan Sickler [05:02]: "I really do love Maryland. It's... you have the Chesapeake, the beach, the mountains out there in western Maryland."
His move from Baltimore to Los Angeles and subsequently to Brooklyn highlights his pursuit of personal space and a conducive environment for raising his daughter.
Ryan shares the complexities of his relationship with his fiancée, whom he met when she already had a son. Their engagement and the subsequent birth of their daughter illustrate the challenges and joys of blending families.
Ryan Sickler [11:30]: "We were engaged and started trying to have a baby within three months. It happened. Very lucky with that."
However, their relationship faced hurdles as his fiancée decided against marriage and the traditional family structure they initially envisioned, leading to their eventual separation.
Transitioning into single fatherhood, Ryan discusses the emotional and logistical challenges of co-parenting. Balancing custody arrangements and maintaining a stable environment for his 10-year-old daughter necessitated significant adjustments.
Ryan Sickler [25:00]: "We switch with each other. When I need to go on the road and work, she switches. We're doing 50/50 custody."
Despite these challenges, Ryan emphasizes the importance of providing a nurturing and supportive environment for his daughter, highlighting moments of resilience and love.
A significant portion of the episode is dedicated to Ryan's health battles. At 42, he was diagnosed with a blood disorder, Factor V Leiden, making him prone to thrombosis. This revelation came amidst the already turbulent period of his personal life, amplifying his struggles.
Ryan Sickler [29:58]: "This blood disease affects my clotting, making me a ticking time bomb if I lay still."
Ryan recounts his harrowing experiences in the hospital, including a near-death experience during back surgery where his condition almost cost him his life.
Ryan Sickler [35:37]: "They told me I might have cancer. I was terrified. But then, thankfully, it was just the blood disease."
His candidness about the fear, pain, and eventual relief offers listeners a profound glimpse into his resilience and determination to overcome life's unexpected challenges.
Balancing his career as a comedian with his personal struggles, Ryan discusses how his experiences have shaped his humor. His comedy becomes a coping mechanism, allowing him to process pain through laughter.
Ryan Sickler [62:02]: "Check out the Honeydew podcast. I've got a podcast called The Way Back where it's just all fun nostalgia as well."
He also touches upon the twists of fate, such as meeting David Cross in the hospital when Ryan was in critical condition, adding a serendipitous and humorous layer to his narrative.
Throughout the conversation, Ryan reflects on his past behaviors and how they contrast with his present self. He humorously contemplates what his younger self would think of his current lifestyle and values.
Ryan Sickler [49:15]: "My 18-year-old self would punch me in the face for littering. And I'd be proud of being a father and husband."
These reflections underscore his personal growth and the shifts in priorities that come with mature fatherhood and confronting mortality.
Ryan Sickler's episode on "Senses Working Overtime" is a testament to the human spirit's capacity to endure and find humor amidst adversity. His journey from a dedicated father navigating custody battles to a comedian channeling personal pain into laughter offers listeners both inspiration and relatability.
Notable Quotes:
Ryan Sickler [05:02]: "I really do love Maryland. It's... you have the Chesapeake, the beach, the mountains out there in western Maryland."
Ryan Sickler [11:30]: "We were engaged and started trying to have a baby within three months. It happened. Very lucky with that."
Ryan Sickler [25:00]: "We switch with each other. When I need to go on the road and work, she switches. We're doing 50/50 custody."
Ryan Sickler [29:58]: "This blood disease affects my clotting, making me a ticking time bomb if I lay still."
Ryan Sickler [35:37]: "They told me I might have cancer. I was terrified. But then, thankfully, it was just the blood disease."
Ryan Sickler [49:15]: "My 18-year-old self would punch me in the face for littering. And I'd be proud of being a father and husband."
This comprehensive summary encapsulates the essence of Ryan Sickler's candid and heartfelt discussion with David Cross, offering listeners a profound understanding of his life's intertwining with humor and resilience.