Tim Meadows

Summary

Podcast Summary: "Senses Working Overtime with David Cross" Featuring Tim Meadows

Introduction and Catch-Up David Cross and Tim Meadows kick off the episode with their characteristic banter, immediately setting a humorous and relaxed tone. They reminisce about their professional relationship, noting it’s their first time collaborating directly despite knowing each other for decades.

Broadway Debut: "All in a Play" The conversation shifts to their Broadway experience with the play All in a Play, written by Simon Rich and directed by Alex Timbers. David shares, “This is a live show, and Tim gets to keep doing it” ([02:39]). They discuss the unique structure of the play, which features a rotating cast performing a variety of eclectic scenes—from pirate adventures to baby detectives. The inclusion of music from the Magnetic Fields, performed by the Bessners, adds an extra layer of charm to the production. Tim humorously recounts carrying the playbill in Times Square, hoping to draw attention: “I was carrying it around on Times Square, sort of holding it up, going, hey, look at this play” ([03:34]).

Merchandising Efforts David and Tim delve into the challenges of merchandising their Broadway show. David explains his minimalist approach, opting for posters and limited giveaways rather than extensive merchandise like T-shirts or hats. He quips, “I do have merch. I do have merchandise for the first time ever, I got talked into it” ([25:00]). Tim shares his own merchandising endeavors, including selling unique items like yellow rubber bands jokingly branded as "Live Strong," highlighting the playful side of their collaboration.

Touring and Live Performances The duo discusses their live performances, emphasizing the consistent quality and audience reception. David reflects on the evolution of their shows, stating, “Sold out” and receiving “standing ovations every night” ([37:30]). Tim adds personal anecdotes about bringing laughter to each other’s performances, recalling moments when David’s jokes had him “doubled over” in laughter ([39:20]). They appreciate the camaraderie and mutual support that makes their collaborative efforts enjoyable and successful.

Personal Stories and Humor Tim shares a humorous yet awkward encounter with a stranger, detailing an incident where someone approached him claiming to have a “lacerated kidney” while public urinating ([29:03]). The story underscores their ability to find humor in unexpected situations. Additionally, they joke about David’s merchandising logistics, including shipping items via first-class and using wheelchairs to transport merchandise backstage ([27:58]).

Political Views and Social Issues The conversation takes a more serious turn as David and Tim discuss their political beliefs and social concerns. Tim opens up about his experiences growing up on welfare, emphasizing the importance of government programs for the less fortunate ([56:58]). They debate the impact of austerity measures and the necessity of maintaining social services, with David asserting, “You don’t think we should tax churches and religious institutions?” ([52:28]). The dialogue reflects their shared empathy and commitment to social justice, highlighting how personal experiences shape their perspectives.

Personal Life and Community Tim talks about his return to Detroit, Michigan, appreciating the local culture and community support. David compliments Tim’s connection to his hometown, noting, “You keep saying Michigan. Everyone knows where Detroit is” ([41:22]). They discuss favorite local spots, like barbecue joints, and the importance of maintaining roots outside the Hollywood and New York entertainment hubs.

Closing Questions from David’s Daughter As the episode draws to a close, David introduces a heartwarming segment featuring questions from his young daughter. Tim humorously attempts to answer her curious question: “Why do electricity and water not go together?” ([77:26]). The exchange highlights the lighthearted and familial aspect of the podcast, providing a delightful end to their extensive conversation.

Notable Quotes:

• David Cross ([02:39]): “This is a live show, and Tim gets to keep doing it.”
• Tim Meadows ([03:34]): “I was carrying it around on Times Square, sort of holding it up, going, hey, look at this play.”
• David Cross ([25:00]): “I do have merch. I do have merchandise for the first time ever, I got talked into it.”
• Tim Meadows ([39:20]): “I have to go in and get a nap.”
• David Cross ([52:28]): “You don’t think we should tax churches and religious institutions?”
• Tim Meadows ([77:26]): “Why do electricity and water not go together?”

Conclusion Throughout the episode, David Cross and Tim Meadows offer a blend of humor, personal anecdotes, and thoughtful discussions on broader social issues. Their chemistry and mutual respect shine through, making the conversation both entertaining and insightful. Whether reminiscing about Broadway days or tackling complex political topics, they provide listeners with a comprehensive look into their lives and viewpoints, all while maintaining an engaging and humorous dialogue.

Transcript

[David Cross]

This is a headgum podcast.

[Tim Meadows]

Introducing Instagram teen accounts. A new way to keep your teen safer as they grow. Like making sure they've got the right gear for writing. Knee pads, shack and helmet.

[David Cross]

Done. See you, dad.

[Tim Meadows]

New Instagram teen accounts. Automatic protections for who can contact your teen and the content they can see. Jesus smell.

[David Cross]

Either chair is yours.

[Tim Meadows]

This one.

[David Cross]

Which one? Whichever one.

[Tim Meadows]

Where are you?

[David Cross]

I'll be in the one that you're not in.

[Tim Meadows]

I'll go for. I'll go for here.

[David Cross]

Okay.

[Tim Meadows]

There's not cameras too.

[David Cross]

Yeah, there are.

[Tim Meadows]

Yeah.

[David Cross]

We're rolling. Hi, I'm Chris.

[Tim Meadows]

Hi. Tim. Nice to meet you too. Yeah.

[David Cross]

Now put this on side.

[Tim Meadows]

I'm gonna grab water on the bag.

[David Cross]

Oh, sorry, Tim, remind me of the last time we saw each other.

[Tim Meadows]

Probably honestly, last night.

[David Cross]

Well, I appreciate your honesty.

[Tim Meadows]

9:30. Do I need to sit up? Should I adjust this at all?

[David Cross]

No, don't. Don't worry about it.

[Tim Meadows]

Okay. Yeah. You want to talk about what we've been doing or have you already told us to the audience?

[David Cross]

Well, I talked to Nick a couple weeks ago and hadn't done it yet, and he was starting his first week or mid first week. So we were talking about it, but now I have a whole new perspective on it. Yeah. So this is. Oh, yeah, Tim and I made our Broadway debuts.

[Tim Meadows]

Yeah. And.

[David Cross]

Oh, Mary and I wish.

[Tim Meadows]

What do you mean you wish? We did. Was fine.

[David Cross]

No, it was. That'd be a bit to. That'd be quite a bit to chew off for your first. For your Broadway debut. Yeah, no, we did this play called all in a Play about Love by Simon Rich, directed by Alex Timbers. It has a rotating cast and it was so much fucking fun.

[Tim Meadows]

It is fun still. Yeah.

[David Cross]

Well, yes, Tim gets to keep doing it.

[Tim Meadows]

Yeah. But your experience.

[David Cross]

My experience was great. And it's the. Basically, it's. It's more than this, but at its core, it is four people sitting down in chairs and performing these. These scenes. Wildly disparate. You know, there was one about some pirates, and there was one about the elephant man's physician benefactor. There was one about two baby detectives. So just all across board, but very smart and very funny.

[Tim Meadows]

And music also.

[David Cross]

Oh, and music. Yes, music. Music from the Magnetic Fields performed by the Bessners.

[Tim Meadows]

Wait, do I have it?

[David Cross]

Begsons. The begsons. The bag. Oh, do you have a playbill?

[Tim Meadows]

I did. I was carrying it around on Times Square, sort of holding it up, going, hey, look at this play.

[David Cross]

Hey, who's this? This guy looks like Tim Meadows. I should really get some.

[Tim Meadows]

I should go see this play.

[David Cross]

And we were sitting in rehearsals, and Tim and I have known each other for a long, long, long, long time, but realized we've never worked together.

[Tim Meadows]

Yeah.

[David Cross]

All the mutual friends, all the various projects that I could have been a part of, you could have been a part of. And we had. This is our first time working together. Nice.

[Tim Meadows]

And it wasn't by request or. You know what I mean? Like, if I would have worked with you over the years. I never said, like, I don't want to work with David.

[David Cross]

Oh, that's not what I heard.

[Tim Meadows]

Really?

[David Cross]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. In fact, I. No, no, no. I have some recordings of you from. And it was. I know you were a little drunk. It was at the Bohemian Grove. And this would have been back in early aughts. And you're smoking a cigar. You're there with Karl Rove and Nigel.

[Tim Meadows]

Farage and two people I haven't seen in a while.

[David Cross]

Yeah, it's been. It's been a while, huh? And. And he wasn't invited, but he was. He kept trying to sneak in Piers Morgan, you know, and. And you. You're on tape and you're adamant about.

[Tim Meadows]

You.

[David Cross]

You kept getting my name wrong. You were adamant about never working with me.

[Tim Meadows]

Well, you know, it might be true. I'm not going to deny it, because I do know. I did know all those people at one time. So it's good research you've been doing, but, yeah, I think maybe one project I didn't want you to be part of, which was the Michael. Michael Richards Show. Remember that? NBC.

[David Cross]

I know. I'm. Please tell me about it.

[Tim Meadows]

Oh, I just didn't want you to be a part of it. They were gonna hire you to play, like, a reporter or something like that.

[David Cross]

And I was like, reporter number three.

[Tim Meadows]

Yeah, that was my first role.

[David Cross]

Reporter number three, in the Amelia Earhart Story on TBS with Bruce Dern and Diane Keaton. I learned that I was reporter number three. Not the first, not the second, not the fourth, not the fifth, the third.

[Tim Meadows]

So they were like. They said, question. Somebody had a line. They answered it. Sir, question somebody answered had a line. Here's your big moment. You.

[David Cross]

Hey, Amelia, if. If that is your first name. Cut. We don't need the riff. We don't need to. Oh, I thought the report. As I saw him, he was like, no, just don't. Don't add anything. Please. Just stick to the script.

[Tim Meadows]

You shouldn't improvise during the minute. Amelia Earhart stories. Pretty much.

[David Cross]

Reporter number one, question Porter number two, question. All right, reporter number three, you're up. Right. Amelia. Cut. Cut. It doesn't. He's not from England.

[Tim Meadows]

Hey, does your heart sort of race when I go reporter number two?

[David Cross]

Oh, I'm getting. I'm amping up.

[Tim Meadows]

Don't you start getting.

[David Cross]

I'm trying to get into it.

[Tim Meadows]

Yeah.

[David Cross]

Not be out of my head, but I can't help because it's. It's the. The complex, contradictory nature of what we have to do. You have to be in the moment, but you have to get your. Memorize your lines, get your cues, find your light, all that stuff. So you're trying to be the character of the reporter of vague Hispanic background, but we're not sure what. Peanut allergy, which hadn't been really discovered at that point.

[Tim Meadows]

That's a lot of backstory. That's good for you.

[David Cross]

Yeah, I always. I always.

[Tim Meadows]

You're like me in a way. Like, we both make shitty writing better.

[David Cross]

Yeah.

[Tim Meadows]

You know what I mean?

[David Cross]

Yes. That's. That's how I felt when I was working with Spielberg on the Post.

[Tim Meadows]

Yeah. I mean, you know, that's our job.

[David Cross]

You roll your eyes and you go, let's see what I can do.

[Tim Meadows]

You want me to say this? You know, sure.

[David Cross]

I'll. I'll do my best.

[Tim Meadows]

See what happens.

[David Cross]

Who are you texting?

[Tim Meadows]

What are you doing? No, I'm just. I'm going to pull up the bill for the show.

[David Cross]

Oh. Oh. Oh, that's good. Yeah.

[Tim Meadows]

Performed by the Bings. Bingsons. We were very close. Bingsons.

[David Cross]

The Bingsons. It's a married couple.

[Tim Meadows]

It's a married couple.

[David Cross]

They do songs and I think. I don't know when this will. This will probably come out after this run of the show is over, but Hank Azaria is replacing me. I replaced Nick Kroll.

[Tim Meadows]

Right, you replaced Jimmy Fallon.

[David Cross]

Jimmy Fallon, yeah. And, yeah, it's been fun. And our. Our lineup was just so talented. I mean.

[Tim Meadows]

Yeah, it's too bad you're not going to talk to anybody else from the show on this podcast.

[David Cross]

You're still jealous. You think that's diminished, your appearance here? That I'm going to have Lin Manuel Miranda, I don't know. And Annalee Ashford, both on.

[Tim Meadows]

I think you used me to get.

[David Cross]

To them, to make them jealous.

[Tim Meadows]

Yeah. Like, you were like, tim said, he's gonna do it. So. And they were like, oh, really, Tim? You got. You got Meadows.

[David Cross]

You got Meadows.

[Tim Meadows]

Wow. Okay. You didn't even go over the list of people that you had. You were, like, just using me. But that's cool.

[David Cross]

No, I.

[Tim Meadows]

But they are great.

[David Cross]

They are great. And. And I knew very little about. Well, I knew nothing about Annalee, but she's amazing.

[Tim Meadows]

Yeah.

[David Cross]

And she's a Tony winner.

[Tim Meadows]

Yeah.

[David Cross]

Yeah. And I knew very little about Lin, except for, obviously, Hamilton, and he wrote music for Moana and I believe Encanto, but I don't know, you know, I hadn't really seen. But he's fucking awesome.

[Tim Meadows]

Yeah.

[David Cross]

And the sweetest guy.

[Tim Meadows]

Yeah. The nicest, like, very normal.

[David Cross]

Totally super cool.

[Tim Meadows]

Really cool dude. Almost, like, to the point where you're almost like. You don't have to be as nice as you are. It's cool. I'm gonna come down and talk to you before the show. Like, he'll come up into our dressing room and hang out with us and stuff before the show, try to get.

[David Cross]

Us liquored up on that nasty Doritos flavored tequila.

[Tim Meadows]

Yeah. Some Doritos flavored tequila.

[David Cross]

It was not.

[Tim Meadows]

Don't be proud of it, actually, if you.

[David Cross]

And he drank it. That was not his first bottle.

[Tim Meadows]

Yeah, it was already half empty when he showed it to us.

[David Cross]

It was nasty. It was like you could sort of taste a little bit of, like, the corn tortilla, a little bit in the aftertaste.

[Tim Meadows]

But you know what I imagined it actually being. This is a. Something we talked about. I imagined to be like, you know, in Dune when they sucked the water out of the sweatsuit.

[David Cross]

I do know. Oh, I haven't seen it.

[Tim Meadows]

Well, it's a. It's in the. It's a book also. You don't have to just see the movie.

[David Cross]

I. I haven't seen the cartoon. Whatever.

[Tim Meadows]

It's not a cartoon.

[David Cross]

It's a comic book.

[Tim Meadows]

Start off with a book, you know, pages. It's written.

[David Cross]

Oh, with just the letters. Those things where. It's just letters.

[Tim Meadows]

Yes.

[David Cross]

Oh, no, thank you.

[Tim Meadows]

But in the thing, they wear the suits. They wear all of the sweat and body. Any, like, liquid from their body is transformed into water, and they drink it later. And when we drank that tequila, that's what I imagine those steel suits taste like. It's like a really shitty water.

[David Cross]

So you think that in the. Is it futuristic or is it another planet in a long time ago kind.

[Tim Meadows]

Of thing, or I have to go explain doing to. It's.

[David Cross]

No, no, just. Just that answer that.

[Tim Meadows]

It's in. It's in the future.

[David Cross]

Okay, done. All right. So you're saying that in the future, they have the technology to filter, you know, urine, sweat, bile, poop, pus, Mucus into water. Yes, but they do not have the technology to make it taste okay. That's the one thing they weren't able to do. Even though we can do it now. I call bullshit on your little book.

[Tim Meadows]

They didn't think, how about a little strawberry we put in there, just like a drop of chemical strawberries.

[David Cross]

We don't have some strawberries in the future.

[Tim Meadows]

Those are whatever they could put spice in.

[David Cross]

You know the only berry. This for real. This is a true fact. The only berry that survives in the future, Loganberry. That's true.

[Tim Meadows]

Loganberry?

[David Cross]

Yeah.

[Tim Meadows]

Why is that?

[David Cross]

It has something to do with her skin. The. The. The skin of the berry.

[Tim Meadows]

I've never had Logan berry. Is that the furry one on the outside, Chris? Sure. Yeah.

[David Cross]

Okay, look it up.

[Tim Meadows]

There's some new fruit that people eat now. It's, like, pink. It looks like a Georgia O'Keeffe. Like, painting is, like, pink on the inside.

[David Cross]

I don't know whether to eat it or hang it up on. In my. In my living room. It's so pretty.

[Tim Meadows]

Why are you doing a Southern accent?

[David Cross]

I. Maybe Georgia.

[Tim Meadows]

Okay.

[David Cross]

Sort of triggered it.

[Tim Meadows]

I don't know. Where was Georgia O'Keefe from? Was she.

[David Cross]

I don't know. She painted in New Mexico. We know that. Yeah, but I don't know where she was from.

[Tim Meadows]

Where. But what is that fruit called? You know what I'm talking about?

[David Cross]

I don't. Is it the. Is it the. Not the dragon fruit?

[Tim Meadows]

I don't know. I don't know the name of it.

[David Cross]

We haven't done a good job describing it. It looks like a Georgia O'Keeffe painting. That's why it's supposed to go off.

[Tim Meadows]

You cut it open, it's kind of furry and fuzzy on the outside, but when you cut it open, it's like purple and then pinkish and then white and descent in the center, and it's like.

[David Cross]

No idea. Is it sweet or citrusy or.

[Tim Meadows]

It's. It's.

[David Cross]

It's.

[Tim Meadows]

Yeah, it's just like a Georgia O'Keeffe. No, it's. It's. No. What is it? It's sort of crunchy and a little. A little sweet, little salty.

[David Cross]

I don't know. So it's new to America or. It's new. New. Like it. They literally discovered it.

[Tim Meadows]

It's new to. To me. So that's all I can tell you. Well, so I don't. I didn't do any research. I wouldn't be. Ask you.

[David Cross]

All right.

[Tim Meadows]

You didn't say. Come in prepared to talk about, you would just say, hey, can you do my podcast? I'm trying to get.

[David Cross]

I thought it was replied. Okay, well, fine. So you don't know. Just know your fruits before you bring them up.

[Tim Meadows]

All right, Here's a new segment on his show. It's called know your fruits.

[David Cross]

Yep.

[Tim Meadows]

Here's one. It's orange and it has a hard peel on the outside. On the inside is soft and juicy, and when you bite into it, it's really sweet. Some people squeeze it and eat it.

[David Cross]

For breakfast and drink it for breakfast. A slightly unripe peach.

[Tim Meadows]

Nope. Try again.

[David Cross]

Loganberry.

[Tim Meadows]

No. No.

[David Cross]

Oh. Does it look like a Georgia O'Keeffe painting?

[Tim Meadows]

If you cut it the wrong way, it does.

[David Cross]

And you can mix your blood in there.

[Tim Meadows]

Well, it gets. It's sort of orangish pinkish.

[David Cross]

A blood orange?

[Tim Meadows]

Yeah, like a blood orange.

[David Cross]

Why don't you just say blood orange?

[Tim Meadows]

Because I wasn't thinking blood orange is the answer. I was thinking nectarine.

[David Cross]

Oh, nectarine.

[Tim Meadows]

Which is not an orange. It's different.

[David Cross]

Oh, I like nectarines.

[Tim Meadows]

I could have said tangerine too, which would have been. Led you down.

[David Cross]

Or a clementine.

[Tim Meadows]

Yeah.

[David Cross]

Yep.

[Tim Meadows]

But you know who is great in this show? We were talking about them earlier, Annalee and Lynn. Yeah, they were amazing.

[David Cross]

I would sit there when I had some downtime and just watch everybody, even though I'd now seen it, you know, dozen times, but I would just watch and go, God damn, that's such a great take. That's such a smart way to do.

[Tim Meadows]

That particular thing and to do it every night. You know what I mean? Like, they would. We do it every night or whatever, but, like, they would. They were always discovering something new or hitting beats and they are as funny every night.

[David Cross]

Yeah.

[Tim Meadows]

You know what? I admire that because, you know, you sort of do that with stand up a little bit, you know, I don't know about you, but like, my act is completely the same all the time. So when I.

[David Cross]

Mine is not.

[Tim Meadows]

You change, right?

[David Cross]

Yeah, I mean, I'm very extemporaneous. I'll just comment on shit that. I mean, I have my bits, but I fuck around within the bit, right?

[Tim Meadows]

Yeah, I'm like, you know, a robot. I am like, I. I type into an AI thing.

[David Cross]

Like, what would Tim Meadows. What would a Tim Meadows set?

[Tim Meadows]

Say car accident, make this funny. And then I get whatever it types up and then I just read. I do that on stage.

[David Cross]

Smart. And literally read it just from your phone. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Tim Meadows]

The audience love it.

[David Cross]

They do they?

[Tim Meadows]

They just.

[David Cross]

Well, how much. How much merch are you selling?

[Tim Meadows]

I'm selling a lot. I'm doing like. I do T shirts.

[David Cross]

What about a software program?

[Tim Meadows]

It's too much. I haven't got that far.

[David Cross]

Okay.

[Tim Meadows]

I like to do like. I like stuff that people actually.

[David Cross]

Socks are good.

[Tim Meadows]

Yeah, socks, T shirts, headbands.

[David Cross]

Sure.

[Tim Meadows]

Wristbands. Okay.

[David Cross]

Like a live strong type thing or.

[Tim Meadows]

You know, they had that guy, what was his name? The. The bicyclist, Lance Armstrong. They had a bunch of leftover yellow ones. Like those yellow bands.

[David Cross]

Live strong.

[Tim Meadows]

Yeah, yeah.

[David Cross]

Strong like Armstrong.

[Tim Meadows]

Yeah. And we just flipped it over and just. It's just a yellow band and.

[David Cross]

Oh.

[Tim Meadows]

So just go, hey, you know, I just have to do a joke about a yellow rubber band in my show somewhere. Sometimes it's hard because I don't really want to do.

[David Cross]

It'll. It's like a speed bump in your ass.

[Tim Meadows]

Yes.

[David Cross]

And you gotta. I gotta shoehorn in a joke about a yellow band. Can you give me an example of one of your jokes? Yellow band jokes.

[Tim Meadows]

Boy, that's a hard one.

[David Cross]

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[Tim Meadows]

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[David Cross]

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[Tim Meadows]

They're off. They're sort of a racist comment. And then I go into yellow band. Yeah.

[David Cross]

And so like Asian type thing.

[Tim Meadows]

I'm. I, I'm not gonna say Asian.

[David Cross]

But wait, is it like. So when you say yellow band, are you talking about like K pop?

[Tim Meadows]

Yes.

[David Cross]

Okay, so I do.

[Tim Meadows]

Yeah, I do yellow band. Like, and then people go, what? And I go like K Pop.

[David Cross]

Right, Right. And then they go yellow ban.

[Tim Meadows]

Depending on where I am in the country, they love it. Sometimes they don't love it. But you know, you try to get that into talk, you know, shoehorned in between talking about being an African American.

[David Cross]

Sure.

[Tim Meadows]

And going through struggles in life. And then I go, oh shit, I gotta do the K pop.

[David Cross]

And then you, then you undermine it all with a racist comment about Koreans. Oh, smart. That's an interesting tact to take, but okay.

[Tim Meadows]

And the only thing, I never talk about it again or before in the whole show. I never mentioned anything about it.

[David Cross]

But you have them for sale? I do have them for Tim Meadows. Yellow band referenced. Yellow bands.

[Tim Meadows]

Yes.

[David Cross]

Hey, remember the joke? Yes. Right, right, right, right, right.

[Tim Meadows]

And I go, don't flip the band over also because it'll say live strong on it.

[David Cross]

And that guy, that guy was. Yeah, yeah, yep.

[Tim Meadows]

So what about you? Do you have merch? Did you sell at your show?

[David Cross]

I do. I do have merch. For the first time ever, I got talked into it.

[Tim Meadows]

By your accountant?

[David Cross]

Yeah, pretty much. And I don't. And he's my, my business manager is. I've been with him since the beginning and he is like a lot of my friends and he's. He's a really good guy. And I know. I know two people who. Well, no, I know one person, very close friend who had an inattentive guy and then I know one who got ripped off. Yeah. And I'm sure that's just people. I know I'm very close with both of them and I'm sure I know other people. So this guy's a stand up, completely decent guy. He was at my wedding and told.

[Tim Meadows]

You to get into T shirts.

[David Cross]

He told you to get into the T shirt biz. He's you're leaving money on the table, kid.

[Tim Meadows]

And that's nice.

[David Cross]

So I have, I just have the posters. I don't have. I have stuff that is. I. I can turn around. I don't have to have overstock, you know, like, I think I don't know everybody's size and all that. And I'm not like a band that's going to be able to just sell all that stuff and write it off. So I have limited amount of posters. I have a little kind of giveaway thing with a Tobias headshot, which I limit to each show to 25.

[Tim Meadows]

That's it.

[David Cross]

And then I pick out a number and ball. If it's on the back of your thing, you go backstage and we hang out and stuff like that. And I'll sign it, personalize it. And that's it, I think. Oh, and koozies. Beer koozies.

[Tim Meadows]

Oh, nice.

[David Cross]

Which I use.

[Tim Meadows]

Do you. What do they say on it?

[David Cross]

Something like it's the artwork from my tour. The end of the beginning of the end.

[Tim Meadows]

And so do you carry all that around or do you.

[David Cross]

It. It gets.

[Tim Meadows]

Ship it ahead.

[David Cross]

Ship it ahead. Yeah. It's really not a lot. It's nothing that can't fit inside the back of an SUV along with our luggage. That's. That's the other thing. I don't have a, A van or one of those, you know, u haul Things. So it's really pretty minimal. And, you know, and. And I mean, I've made money. It's not like I'm getting.

[Tim Meadows]

How much money have you made off of that?

[David Cross]

Like, less than I was hoping for, but I'd say it's total. Let's see. I did. I'm at 48 shows, and I think I've made, I want to say, $19.

[Tim Meadows]

Wow.

[David Cross]

So I'm. I'm ahead. I'm ahead.

[Tim Meadows]

Seems like your overhead is pretty high. You got to.

[David Cross]

Well, I ship everything first class, meaning I get a first class seat for the merchandise, for all the merchandise. And that's my promise to you, the attendee of the show, that this is first class merchandise. It's not shipped in the hold of some big impersonal UPS plane. Whatever it is first class. It's treated well. It's, you know, it's gotten its sleep.

[Tim Meadows]

It had a meal.

[David Cross]

Quality meal with grains, ancient grains. A tiramisu for dessert, at least. Beef short rib ravioli. Right. And a sorghum souffle. And that's the thing I'm not a fan of.

[Tim Meadows]

But the merch likes it, so what are you gonna do?

[David Cross]

Yeah, the merch likes it and so. And yeah, so it's well rested. When it gets off the plane, we. We get it. A wheelchair. Right. Of course they're waiting. There'll be a person at the, you know, the Gateway or whatever is David Cross's merch, and they put the merch in a wheelchair, wheel it and. Yeah.

[Tim Meadows]

That's so cool.

[David Cross]

Yeah, it's a. It's that extra thing that I do.

[Tim Meadows]

Even still though the price, it seems like you're not moving a lot. But. Like, what? Like, is there a price range on.

[David Cross]

The things you sell? Yeah, I sell one poster for 1000 doll.

[Tim Meadows]

Right. Okay.

[David Cross]

And if you want it, great. If not, you're out of luck. And so am I.

[Tim Meadows]

That seems high.

[David Cross]

Yeah. I haven't sold one yet.

[Tim Meadows]

Not one? No, no. What's the lowest price thing you have on your. In your merch?

[David Cross]

I have used toilet paper for 3 cents, which I don't like to waste anything, Tim. I don't like to waste any. Wait, speaking of that, I have to tell you. What. So I didn't get a whole lot of sleep last night. Okay. Because, see, I. I think I was just jacked up from doing that. We had the two shows yesterday. Kill Me went and had a couple beers and I was just. And I couldn't get the songs out of my head either. And I tried to go to sleep at a decent hour, and I kept waking up. But anyway, my point is, I was. I had taken my daughter to school, my wife's out of town, so got up, got my daughter breakfast, fed the dog, took the dog out, came back, got my daughter's lunch together, blah, blah. Took her to school, et cetera. I come out because I had to go. I had a doctor's appointment. I come out, I'm just kind of out of it, and there's a guy peeing facing into my. What do you call that little front area in a brownstone atrium? No, not inside the house, but, you know, like, where the. Where you would come to go to the bottom. The basement apartment. You know what I mean? Like.

[Tim Meadows]

Yeah, like the summer apartment.

[David Cross]

Yeah, but what do you call that area that's out there? The landing? I don't know what it's called.

[Tim Meadows]

I don't know what it's called either.

[David Cross]

Anyway, it's the front area. There's a little gate.

[Tim Meadows]

People put garbage cans there. Exactly.

[David Cross]

That's where our garbage cans are.

[Tim Meadows]

Yeah, go ahead, though.

[David Cross]

Yeah. And. And this guy. And this all takes, like, a couple seconds to process. Like, he's standing there, he's pissing. Not. And it's like, dribbly piss. And I'm like, dude, really? And he's like. And he launches into this thing. I have a lacerated kidney. And he's kind of. That kind of club kid, tweaked Fae kind of energy. Like, I have a lacerated kidney. And I just. I can't hold my. You know, I have accident. You know, my life is just right now. And. And he's. He's still pink while he's telling me this. Yeah. And I'm. And I'm just standing there listening to this, and he's going on and on, and then he. Like, I. You know, there's not even a lot there. I can't help. I'm. You know, whatever. And then he zips up, and I notice he's also not wearing a coat or a jacket. It's like, what, 28 degrees? Whatever. And he just looks like he's, like, tweaked out, right? And then. And he's just rambling and all this. And then as I'm like, God damn it. You know? And then he goes. He walks. He starts walking down the street the opposite way. And he's like, big fan of your movies. Okay. Yeah. For real? That happened this morning. And I was just like, it's such a New York thing. Like. And I'm. I'm like, what? Hungover? Thank you.

[Tim Meadows]

Thank you.

[David Cross]

You want me to sign something? But also, he said, that's funny. I truly believed him because he said, I have a lacerated kidney. It was the first thing out of his mouth. He was ready to go with it.

[Tim Meadows]

You should understand. And I should understand this.

[David Cross]

Well, I kind of. It bought himself two seconds of sympathy.

[Tim Meadows]

Yeah.

[David Cross]

Where I was like, what's happening? You know, Like.

[Tim Meadows]

Yeah, I don't. Yeah, that kind of. I mean, I remember, like, seeing.

[David Cross]

I got a ticket. I got a ticket from a cop. This is a long, long time ago, who gave me the ticket. And. Oh, and there's some beautiful irony to this. I don't even know if it's irony. It's just hypocrisy. Double standard. Because I'm realizing I got it. It was for public urination.

[Tim Meadows]

You did?

[David Cross]

Yes. This is a long time ago. This is like 24 years ago, something like that, in the East Village. And side. I'm gonna digress for a second. My drunken. Clearly drunk. My drunken excuse was officer, because I was in a corner of, like, a officer. I merely found an indentation and stood in it. That's a quote for me. Like, that's gonna get me out of peeing. I merely found an indentation and stood in. Anyway, he gives me the ticket. Public urination. I have to go over, and he gets my license. All that shit, you know, it takes a couple minutes. Gives it to me, goes, you know. Big fan of Mr. Show. Yeah. Thank you for that.

[Tim Meadows]

Still. Well, how much was the ticket? Was it worth it? The ping?

[David Cross]

I mean, probably, but, I mean, it's like what I said to that guy. Like, go to a bar, go to a coffee place. There's a million places around here. And I should have done that. I don't know. I. I don't. Maybe. I don't know. When you're that age and you're in the East Village and you're all fucked up.

[Tim Meadows]

I don't know. You're a little lucky, though. We can pee anywhere. Like, if we can just find a little space, you know?

[David Cross]

That's true. It's.

[Tim Meadows]

I pee in my car. Like, into a bottle.

[David Cross]

I pee in your car, too. You know that, right?

[Tim Meadows]

Really?

[David Cross]

Yeah. Thursday nights. Yeah. And I do it. It's a live stream, no pun intended, on YouTube.

[Tim Meadows]

That's horrible.

[David Cross]

No, it's not.

[Tim Meadows]

We should.

[David Cross]

I'm raising money for Gaza.

[Tim Meadows]

Well, you didn't ask me if I'm for, against or whatever, which is why.

[David Cross]

I didn't ask you, that's why. Because I knew we would end up having this big fucking conversation and it would impede the flow of money and.

[Tim Meadows]

You'Re, you're able to interfere with your peeing also. Would you be.

[David Cross]

Could be, you know. Well, what if I got pee shy because I was like, this is wrong.

[Tim Meadows]

Now you get a conscience? Well, yeah. I don't know. I don't. I, I, I notice I have to pee all the time when I'm going home. Do you do that? Does that happen to you?

[David Cross]

What do you mean, going home?

[Tim Meadows]

Like, if I'm going home, if I'm just like driving and then I get to the house, as soon as I get to the door, near the door, I have to use the bathroom, I have to pee. And I go right to you as you go right to the bathroom every time. It's like, I think it's a psychosomatic. Is that the word?

[David Cross]

It could be.

[Tim Meadows]

It's a habit. Now we can cut stuff out though, right? Or is this live out to the Internet?

[David Cross]

Nope. This is going to the space shuttle. Straight to the space.

[Tim Meadows]

I only. Because I only tell the truth when I know I'm such a. So what do you think of me? Like, in, during the performance, at the.

[David Cross]

Show, you know, hit or miss, like always. Like always.

[Tim Meadows]

But I'm a pro though, right?

[David Cross]

You are a pro. You're there early and you leave early.

[Tim Meadows]

Don't talk to many people. Come in if you used to be.

[David Cross]

Looked in the eye. I think that's something I admire.

[Tim Meadows]

Yeah.

[David Cross]

It was so much fun, Tim, and I'm so glad we got to do it. And I'm gonna miss it. I told you, like I was thinking.

[Tim Meadows]

The second, third day you said that, like, I'm gonna miss this.

[David Cross]

But it was feeling that took a couple days, I guess, once we kind of got settled into the routine of it.

[Tim Meadows]

Yeah.

[David Cross]

And like, what a fucking great job this is.

[Tim Meadows]

Yeah.

[David Cross]

And I was, I was talking to Chris Rock a while ago and he had done the play Top Dog. I know what you're talking about because he had told this to Bob. And then I, I, when I was talking was like, oh, Bob said, you know, because we were talking about this other project and he was talking about how much fun it was doing and he did a, A little bit more serious of play. Like we were just having fun, fun, fun.

[Tim Meadows]

Right.

[David Cross]

And, and he was talking about that, like, what a great job it is, how much fun it is. And I, I can totally see that, like, you get your day. Doesn't start. And, you know, excluding matinee days, but you have Monday off, and then Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, your day doesn't even start. You don't have to be there like seven.

[Tim Meadows]

Yeah.

[David Cross]

You have the whole day.

[Tim Meadows]

Yeah.

[David Cross]

And then you do this fun thing for 90 minutes, whatever it is, and go home.

[Tim Meadows]

Yeah.

[David Cross]

It's great.

[Tim Meadows]

And it's just. And it's just, it's solid writing. You know what I mean? So it's not like, there's not like points where you go, you know, oh, this isn't gonna work. You know what I mean?

[David Cross]

Like, you know, and we got several.

[Tim Meadows]

Awws throughout the show and nice applause and big laughs.

[David Cross]

Standing ovation every night.

[Tim Meadows]

Yeah.

[David Cross]

Sold out.

[Tim Meadows]

Yeah. I was so surprised. Super Bowl.

[David Cross]

Super bowl night, two shows, super bowl, sold out.

[Tim Meadows]

But, yeah, you know, it was. The rehearsal of. It was also something that I had not really thought about before I signed on to it because I thought it was going to be like the Vagina Monologues or something where we just are reading and it doesn't matter. We just read it. You know what I mean? But. But we rehearsed for like a week before we did the thing.

[David Cross]

And I'm glad we did.

[Tim Meadows]

Me too. Because, like, it was just like getting to know it and getting familiar with it before having to do it in front of people.

[David Cross]

Yeah.

[Tim Meadows]

You started to get comfortable and it.

[David Cross]

Was interesting how we talked about this, how every night had its own personality.

[Tim Meadows]

Yeah.

[David Cross]

There's that first night where it's like, okay, here we are. First night, Broadway debut. And then you do it and you're like, whoo, got it over with. Second night, like, oh, I've done this before, but still has a little newness to it. Third night, the loot. The. The most relaxed night, I'd say, of all of them, where it's just like, oh, we got this. Do it. It's great. Standing room. Yeah. Standing ovation. And then. And then it was just a matter of, like, how am I going to make Tim laugh during this part? How do I get him to break?

[Tim Meadows]

Oh, my God. You were killing me, dude. You're killing me.

[David Cross]

That was fun.

[Tim Meadows]

You made me laugh so hard. The last night I doubled over when.

[David Cross]

I said triple banger.

[Tim Meadows]

When you said triple banger, I doubled over laughing. Almost coughed, almost spit water out of my mouth. And yeah, it was so funny. And it was also that last night because I started laughing and I get teary eyed when I laugh. I have to go in and get a nap.

[David Cross]

A handkerchief or a serviette. If you're in Canada.

[Tim Meadows]

Well, yes. From my. And to dab my eyes. And the audience, like, either. That night, one of those two shows, it became a moment like they were laughing at me. Having to wipe my eyes from laughing at you.

[David Cross]

Well, that's what my. My sister said. That was her favorite part, was watching you laugh at my silliness.

[Tim Meadows]

You. And it was things, too, that were making me laugh that aren't necessarily, like, even funny in the script. Supposed to be funny. Whatever. Like when you would go, no. You know, when he would ask you, have you ever been an actor? And it's such. Because it made me laugh. Because you would say it so angry. And it's just a nice question. It's just a question.

[David Cross]

Right. But also, I'm trying to do it in an overly affected actor way.

[Tim Meadows]

Yes.

[David Cross]

You know, with a little bit of this to it. Yeah.

[Tim Meadows]

Yeah.

[David Cross]

I'm not an actor. That's what actors would sound like.

[Tim Meadows]

And funny. Man, oh, man. But, yeah, it was fun.

[David Cross]

Well, let's not talk about too much more about what the audience cannot relate to in any way.

[Tim Meadows]

Okay.

[David Cross]

Shape.

[Tim Meadows]

Alrighty.

[David Cross]

And you and Lyn both, I admire this, but you both live where you grew up, out of the Hollywood system or even New York. And you're in Detroit.

[Tim Meadows]

I am back in Detroit. Michigan.

[David Cross]

You keep saying Michigan. Everyone knows where Detroit is.

[Tim Meadows]

There's other Detroits.

[David Cross]

Look it up.

[Tim Meadows]

There's other Detroit.

[David Cross]

Nobody is thinking of wherever the other Detroit is.

[Tim Meadows]

Yeah.

[David Cross]

You don't have to say Michigan. Yeah. I've been meaning to say that to you.

[Tim Meadows]

Okay. But, yeah, I did. I moved back to Detroit.

[David Cross]

Detroit.

[Tim Meadows]

Where in the Midwest? No, Michigan.

[David Cross]

Detroit.

[Tim Meadows]

Michigan.

[David Cross]

Okay. Because there's another Detroit I know.

[Tim Meadows]

Ohio, I think, or California or somewhere. But, yeah, I went back and. Yeah, it was right before COVID Really? I'm trying to think of when it was. I know I was doing Brooklyn9.9 when I signed my. When I bought the. Signed the papers to buy the place. So whatever year that was.

[David Cross]

Are you in, like, downtown Detroit or.

[Tim Meadows]

I'm in downtown Detroit. I can see Lion Stadium when I walk out of my.

[David Cross]

Oh, wow.

[Tim Meadows]

Home.

[David Cross]

So you're near Smokes.

[Tim Meadows]

I am not too far from Smokes. Barbecue. Yeah. God, I gotta think. Other real place I was telling you about. Maybe it's like Robinson's or something.

[David Cross]

I don't know. Smokes is the only place I've been to. But for barbecue in Detroit.

[Tim Meadows]

Yeah. I would. I would grab it and look it up. But, yeah, it's this other place. It's so good.

[David Cross]

But you like barbecue chicken. That'd be the thing you'd get, right.

[Tim Meadows]

I do love barbecue. I'm eating barbecue chicken now only because I promised that I would not eat a lot of red meat. I promise people I love love.

[David Cross]

But isn't. But is pork considered. It's white meat.

[Tim Meadows]

Well, it's white meat, but I don't like. I don't eat a lot of pork either. I kind of.

[David Cross]

That's the most delicious thing there is that you can barbecue.

[Tim Meadows]

Yeah, it. I used to eat it. I don't eat it as much anymore. Like bacon.

[David Cross]

I'll.

[Tim Meadows]

I'll eat.

[David Cross]

I do try to stay away from bacon.

[Tim Meadows]

Yeah.

[David Cross]

So that I can have ribs and pulled pork and stuff.

[Tim Meadows]

But I like. I like.

[David Cross]

Yeah.

[Tim Meadows]

Just now I'm just trying to eat differently and stuff.

[David Cross]

That's good.

[Tim Meadows]

Yeah. But I occasionally will have some ribs, but not a lot.

[David Cross]

Yeah.

[Tim Meadows]

But I do love barbecue chicken. I do. I was eating it almost every night before the show.

[David Cross]

Yeah, well, that's why I brought it up. Stink like barbecue chicken in that chair. You're sitting next to me the whole time. Oh, can I ask this? Last night, when they started doing the pirate thing, did it. Did you sense that there was way more fog or the fog machine was heavier last night?

[Tim Meadows]

I didn't sense it, no. Because I sensed it during the death. Because it comes out when I'm still doing the narrating and I almost started coughing because I was coughing.

[David Cross]

I mean, that's a terrible thing when you're one of four people and you are about to start.

[Tim Meadows]

Yeah.

[David Cross]

Because. And I'm. I'm like trying not to, but I could have used a good 15 second, like, you know, that kind of thing.

[Tim Meadows]

Because it was really coffee last night. Yeah.

[David Cross]

It was really like. And I'm next to it. I'm next to the fog machine. It's.

[Tim Meadows]

And it's queued off of you. One of your lines too. So.

[David Cross]

And. And that during, you know, thank God you have like a, you know, one minute of. Of dialogue where all I have to do is go, r. But because my. I'm like, how am I? And I was thinking. My head was like, I'm gonna have to stop. I may have to go, you know. Oh, excuse me, Black boat. I know. Because I was. Something had to happen. But yeah, I think.

[Tim Meadows]

Oh, well, I was talking about last night's show. Well, let's go on to something else. What were we talking about before that?

[David Cross]

Barbecue.

[Tim Meadows]

But Barbecue.

[David Cross]

Barbecue chicken.

[Tim Meadows]

Yeah.

[David Cross]

Which is my least favorite way. I love Barbecued meats. It's my least favorite barbecue meat, my least favorite way to have chicken. Like, it just. I don't like it. It's a. It's like. I don't like the candy sauce part of it.

[Tim Meadows]

And you made a good point the other day when you said, like, you should. You don't think you should put. You shouldn't have to put sauce on anything.

[David Cross]

I'm adamant about that. On. On ribs, for sure.

[Tim Meadows]

Yeah.

[David Cross]

Like, if you.

[Tim Meadows]

If you.

[David Cross]

I don't mind, like, a dry rub or anything like that. I like that.

[Tim Meadows]

That's what this other comp. This other restaurant in Detroit does.

[David Cross]

Oh, really? Like Robinson's or something like Memphis style?

[Tim Meadows]

Yeah.

[David Cross]

Oh, great.

[Tim Meadows]

It's like a dry rub, and it's so good.

[David Cross]

I love that. Yeah.

[Tim Meadows]

I'll lick the sauce off the paper. Like, they wrap it up in paper, like in. In, like, old school. It's so good, man. Yeah. I'm just reminiscing about it because it's, like, grimy also.

[David Cross]

Yeah.

[Tim Meadows]

You know what I mean? Like, it has a texture to it.

[David Cross]

I mean, as opposed to, like, sweet. I do not like the. Casey.

[Tim Meadows]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[David Cross]

I just. Not a fan. And that on the. Like, I. There. There's some. There's some. I'm pretty much strictly talking about ribs. Like, you don't. You shouldn't have to slather a bunch of sauce on ribs.

[Tim Meadows]

Yeah.

[David Cross]

And it's all the stuff. All the flavor should be right there.

[Tim Meadows]

And do you like poutine?

[David Cross]

I love poutine.

[Tim Meadows]

I do, too.

[David Cross]

No, you don't.

[Tim Meadows]

I love it.

[David Cross]

I want to swap hats with you because I love poutine and I don't love it. You don't. And Tim's wearing a Scully cap that says poutine on it. And that. That was that, like. That's like a. What, super dry or super fun? What's the font there? Oh, no, it's, like, not super dry, but.

[Tim Meadows]

Was it company called Supreme? Supreme.

[David Cross]

Supreme, yeah.

[Tim Meadows]

It is like. Yeah. They ripped off Supreme.

[David Cross]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Tim Meadows]

I bought it in Montreal.

[David Cross]

But I love poutine, and, you know.

[Tim Meadows]

It'S just too thick for me. Just too much gravy is too much.

[David Cross]

Just enough. Just enough of all of it.

[Tim Meadows]

Yeah.

[David Cross]

And it's the. Some of the best drunk food like.

[Tim Meadows]

That, you know, it's for good.

[David Cross]

Yeah. And the first before Bob and I had Mr. Show when we started.

[Tim Meadows]

Bob who?

[David Cross]

Montgomery. He's my podiatrist. And were you part of Bob and Ray?

[Tim Meadows]

No.

[David Cross]

Yes.

[Tim Meadows]

Okay.

[David Cross]

I was. And I love.

[Tim Meadows]

Okay.

[David Cross]

Yeah. And that. Hello, that's me. Oh boy. It's like a really bad sketch. You know one thing that Bob and I wrote for this. It's in our. It's in the book Hollywood Said no which is a compilation of movies and series. And get.

[Tim Meadows]

Hollywood said no. Put it on my reader. That's a great time.

[David Cross]

What is it? What'd you say?

[Tim Meadows]

I'm not sure what you're trying to edit.

[David Cross]

Oh, edit.

[Tim Meadows]

But okay. And Hollywood said no.

[David Cross]

Hollywood said no is a compilation of.

[Tim Meadows]

Things that you guys did.

[David Cross]

Wrote that never got made.

[Tim Meadows]

Right.

[David Cross]

I love the title. And we had a series and also there's some sketches that we wrote that if we had done like another Mr. Show or something. But we just didn't get to it. But we had a. We had a bit that was a third rate like Abbott and Costello, Lewis and Martin thing called Faggot Morello and that just happens to be the guy's name. And he's always yelling hey faggot. And. And. And so Bob was like whatever, Eugene Faggot. And I was, you know, whatever Morella, what is it? And we had the. And it was very. Just ripping off those kind of two man things.

[Tim Meadows]

Yeah.

[David Cross]

50S, 40s, 50s. And that Bob would sing. He was like the crooner and I was the guy always getting in trouble. And we have a thing about. A thing about. You ever see Happening Costello and the Mummy? I think it is.

[Tim Meadows]

Okay, I've seen.

[David Cross]

So yeah, you know that I think it's the moment with a scene where Luke Costello is like he's got his hand here and he's just looking straight ahead and it's fucking two minutes long of this. Like. And he's touching what. Who clearly is not Bud Abbott. It's the monster. And like it's too. And so we have this whole scene where it's the ghost of Jesus. They go into Lazarus's tomb and then. But it's the same thing as the Abbott in Costello. But it's Faggot and Morello and they. And they end up getting chased by the ghost of Jesus. Like in a sped up. You speed up the film. Hey, what is it? What is it? Anyway that's in that.

[Tim Meadows]

That's horrible.

[David Cross]

I don't know why I brought that up.

[Tim Meadows]

In so many ways that's almost as bad as my yellow K band.

[David Cross]

Well, I don't think that's bad. I don't know.

[Tim Meadows]

You dunk out a lot of. A lot of things with that one. That's funny. So what Else is happening. Are we. How. How long does this last?

[David Cross]

Usually like four hours. And then we'll cut it down to.

[Tim Meadows]

Like four or five minutes until the guest goes. I give like. Okay, I'm. I. What do you want?

[David Cross]

There's a tip jar over there if you want to.

[Tim Meadows]

The door's locked. Cameras blocking the door.

[David Cross]

It's like how they show when you go to Scientology and they show that you take the personality test and like here we'll. We're gonna. We're gonna compute your. Your results and why don't you sit in this room and you can watch this movie. Okay. Click, click. They lock the doors. That happened.

[Tim Meadows]

Here's an Abbott Costello movie. We're gonna make you watch all about Scientology data.

[David Cross]

Super Bowl. Add on who did Scientology.

[Tim Meadows]

They had a Super Bowl.

[David Cross]

Yeah, they had an ad during the Super Bowl.

[Tim Meadows]

I heard that there was like a lot of Christian or a lot of religious ads.

[David Cross]

Were there really? I know they do the Jesus, he gets us saying.

[Tim Meadows]

Yeah, they did. They did one that was like different pictures of different people in different scenarios. Human beings helping each other or whatever in the turn. It was like for, you know, for like latter days. Not latter days. It was for something. I don't know what it was for.

[David Cross]

Yeah, I wonder. I wonder when they'll know whether they were successful when they get their quarterly results and if their numbers have gone up.

[Tim Meadows]

Right. People going to church.

[David Cross]

Yeah, yeah. And you know, tax free income, non taxed.

[Tim Meadows]

I'm all for it.

[David Cross]

You don't think we should tax churches and religious institutions?

[Tim Meadows]

Well, yeah, I think, you know, I don't really have much of a political stance anymore on anything. I started giving up and quit.

[David Cross]

That's why you moved to Detroit.

[Tim Meadows]

Yeah, that's where.

[David Cross]

That's where people who are at the end of the rope go go.

[Tim Meadows]

You.

[David Cross]

Well, I guess what have you got to lose, right?

[Tim Meadows]

I love it there though. But that's.

[David Cross]

And what. What do you love about it?

[Tim Meadows]

The union. How's the union town? I love that.

[David Cross]

Yeah.

[Tim Meadows]

I love our governor. I think we got a great governor. I don't even know who our mayor is. I actually become more political aware locally.

[David Cross]

Yeah. Think globally, act locally.

[Tim Meadows]

I know all politics are local is what they say too, but no, I think since the past election I've sort of. I'm re evaluating how I can help in the future.

[David Cross]

So what did you do prior to this election that clearly didn't work?

[Tim Meadows]

I did.

[David Cross]

I. I'm sorry, I'm assuming that you. Maybe I'm wrong. Did you Who'd you vote for?

[Tim Meadows]

I voted for Jill. Sny.

[David Cross]

No, I want to. I don't like bumper stickers that say don't blame me. I voted for Jill Stein.

[Tim Meadows]

But yeah, I did. I did some fundraising and stuff in Michigan, but, but I kind of felt like after everything that happened, like I just need to sort of get a feel for what I want to do. Like in the future I still want to do something. I'm not gonna like not do anything or not care, but I had dinner with a friend of mine and she's very funny, but she said like she was going through the same thing and then she said like she was reading the paper or something for a minute and she got emotionally charged about it and then she goes, why do I even care? And it was, it made me laugh. Just that sentiment of like, why do I even care? You know?

[David Cross]

Well, I, I, but okay, the reason.

[Tim Meadows]

That we care is because we're, we care about other people. Right. We care about people less fortunate than us.

[David Cross]

Right.

[Tim Meadows]

We care about people taking power and, and, and the wrong people being empowered. And if you don't care, then no, you know, nobody cares. You know what I mean? But just the sentiment of why do I even care? Just made me laugh because it was the, it was like a, a question and that I was asked saying to myself, like, because I'm, why am I getting so, you know.

[David Cross]

Because you're empathetic.

[Tim Meadows]

Yeah.

[David Cross]

You know, and, and it's especially when you have specific stories, right? Yeah, we have all these kind of, you know, macro stories about the aid to this non profit is going to be shut off and kids aren't going to get to go to school or whatever, and that's like an abstract thing in a sense, but then you read a story about a person who died or you read about an orphan whose mom wasn't able to get treatment for DNC and died in the hospital waiting room because of the, you know, and then it, then you've, and there's a face, there's a picture and there's a little boy, there's a six year old boy, is now an orphan.

[Tim Meadows]

Right.

[David Cross]

Because of pro life, ironically. Pro life, well, laws and, and that's why you care.

[Tim Meadows]

Yes, but also, and that's true. And also I know it from a personal level. I know how important government programs are for poor people.

[David Cross]

Yep. Same.

[Tim Meadows]

I was raised on welfare my in basically from the time I was 7 until I was 17. Welfare, food stamps, government issued food, you know.

[David Cross]

Yeah, I had all that stuff. I had different different time period. But I had that as well.

[Tim Meadows]

Yeah. And like summer job programs, like in this. In Detroit where I went and. And worked for the school, like throwing. Doing garbage, throwing out garbage and like. Or that you would go to. They would send you to a class like, you go and take Spanish for the summer and we'll pay you $60 a week. And it was like, oh, you know, I, you. You learn. You're learning. And you're also, you know, getting paid and you're getting. And you're like. And the food, like, you. Well, why give them. But it's like you, you could like. It was a lunch program involved in it too. You know what I mean? And then getting the money is like, are. You get. I get money? You know what I mean?

[David Cross]

Yeah, this shit goes back to the GI Bill.

[Tim Meadows]

Yeah.

[David Cross]

I mean this. That's where this stuff started. A lot of these programs emanative, which was massive, you know, to get. And that's where a lot of that. That sparked civil rights as well, like equality. And. And it was the GI Bill, and they put a bunch of money because we were flush and it was a smart thing to do. And so a lot of these programs are direct response to that. And I don't know, I feel I'm very torn about my. I guess I got to have both feelings at the same time about my feeling towards the people specifically. I know. And then I can extrapolate to the people I don't know. But the people I do know who I've had conversations with multiple times who were Trump supporters and I think I told you upstate, I'm in that kind of rural. And I've had over the. I've been there for 17 years, many, many conversations about this kind of thing. And, and certainly in the last, you know, 12 years has been amplified. But like, here's what I say to. And. And I. It was. It's similar to how I felt when Bush was president. It's like. And they made those massive tax cuts and like, thank you for the money. That's. I don't need it. You know, I'm a millionaire and I don't. And, and you're taking money. I'd rather have the, you know, I'd rather have, you know, a better police department, fire department, health and human services. I'd rather have better roads, better brid, better faster Internet, better water, you know, lead, free water pipes. Rather having EPA and. But we're. We. So you're. We're taking all of that austerity measures that'll Affect all of us. But I'm, I'm. You're gonna get like $112 at the end of the year, and I'm gonna get like $52,000 that I don't need. But I'd rather just. So you're gonna do without all of those services and you're gonna give me money and you're gonna give Trump and his friends hundreds of millions of dollars. That's our money. And you're not gonna have any of these things. And short term, it's a terrible idea, but long term, it's even worse. You're gonna have less educated. You know, the, the unions will be weakened and hollowed out from within, and they're going to be powerless. And you just wait until. I'm not kidding, until they roll back child labor laws. I guarantee it. They're going to start. It's, you know, and then there'll be people going, good. Yeah, that's great.

[Tim Meadows]

Yeah.

[David Cross]

You know, you're 12. You can work.

[Tim Meadows]

Yeah. We'll see what happens. Anyway, I'm not.

[David Cross]

How are you going to spend your extra money? Your Trump. Your money.

[Tim Meadows]

The Trump money. Strip clubs, probably. I'm gonna try to do trickle down theory, you know, pass it down to the less fortunate.

[David Cross]

Right. Trickle down.

[Tim Meadows]

Trickle down. Yeah. Man. I have said that those. That sentiment too, of like, well, okay, that's what you want. Like, it doesn't.

[David Cross]

Thank you. I guess.

[Tim Meadows]

Yeah.

[David Cross]

But the really important thing isn't, it's, it's. You're upset about some. A trans teenager in Portland, Oregon, getting medication or health service. That's. That's why you're willing to give up all the.

[Tim Meadows]

Yeah.

[David Cross]

Goods and services and say goodbye to Social Security and Medicaid and, and also.

[Tim Meadows]

With that sort of issue, too, is like, you don't know anybody that's. Experience. Experience experiencing it. You know, like maybe out there in middle America or whatever or wherever. But it doesn't mean that it's not real. You know what I mean? Like, it doesn't mean that it's not real. And it. That's the thing that really drives me crazy is like that whole issue is like they're trying to make it. They were trying to make it into something that was like, this is coming for us.

[David Cross]

Yeah.

[Tim Meadows]

They're after us and they're trying to make our kids do this. And it's like, oh, it's the same.

[David Cross]

Thing they talked about with.

[Tim Meadows]

I don't think you really understand it. Like, don't really understand it.

[David Cross]

It's the same thing. This. The things that they're talking about. Although they have the. They have the. The side argument of, like, you know, it's. There's only. Science says there's only this or that. You know, they don't have just merely like, this is a sin against God. It goes against nature. It's not. You know, so they have the. There's only two sexes or genders or whatever. The. But it's the same thing. The same. You know.

[Tim Meadows]

Yeah. And I. Yeah, it's, like, now it's. It's become more personal for me anyways, like. And it translates over into other things that I believe in politically and socially and stuff.

[David Cross]

And you. You have had probably the longest transition period of anyone I've known. You're still pretty much the same.

[Tim Meadows]

Yeah.

[David Cross]

I don't know who you're going to.

[Tim Meadows]

I'm very.

[David Cross]

They're not doing a great job.

[Tim Meadows]

I'm very slow. Very slow.

[David Cross]

Is that. Is that because of your. Just biologically or just the. You've. Stop taking your med. Wait. I don't.

[Tim Meadows]

I just sort of just decided to hold off for a few minutes. I want to see what.

[David Cross]

A few minutes?

[Tim Meadows]

Yeah.

[David Cross]

Okay.

[Tim Meadows]

For a few. Little bit. I want to see what. How the country is going to go.

[David Cross]

Oh, okay. Well, good luck with that.

[Tim Meadows]

Thanks.

[David Cross]

Best of luck.

[Tim Meadows]

See what's happening. No, but I would. I would say that I. My awareness and my empathy for people different from me has definitely transitioned and gotten. I've gotten more understanding and less, like, shocked by alternative lifestyles and.

[David Cross]

Yeah, same here. Yeah.

[Tim Meadows]

You know, I think when I first got in to showbiz, I think I was a lot more like, wow, this is different from what I'm used to. But I also say that's like what Middle America is like. It's like, well, if you're not experienced, if you don't experience it, if you don't know people from these backgrounds, you don't see them as humans. You see them as these other.

[David Cross]

I have a whole bit about that.

[Tim Meadows]

Oh, go ahead.

[David Cross]

But it's. No, it's funny. Okay. But it's about how the only way we make progress in this country is when the people oppressing other people. Have a personal experience with the people they're oppressing. And then it goes into this very funny bit.

[Tim Meadows]

I would imagine that it probably is your closer. Is that you're closer.

[David Cross]

No, but it's getting towards the end. Yeah, we're building up to the closer.

[Tim Meadows]

Yeah. Yeah, man. I don't know. I feel like I'm friends with Harper Steele, who's the writer of the show.

[David Cross]

Yeah, I knew Harper as Andrew. I've worked on a show with her then him.

[Tim Meadows]

Yeah, yeah. And I love her. And she's the first person that I knew personally that transitioned, you know, and came out and I had like, boy.

[David Cross]

I did not see that coming either.

[Tim Meadows]

I didn't either.

[David Cross]

Yeah.

[Tim Meadows]

And I knew her really well.

[David Cross]

Yeah.

[Tim Meadows]

Like, we wrote Ladies man together. We wrote at SNL together. We have been friends for, for 25, 30 years or something, but. And she's one of my best friends, one of my closest friends, you know. But when that all happened, I totally had to like, look at myself in the mirror and go like, okay, how are you a fucking mouthpiece? Are you. How, how, how empathetic are you are, Are you. To somebody that you love and care for and respect and they are going through this thing that like, is going to be life changing, you know.

[David Cross]

And.

[Tim Meadows]

Difficult and difficult and, and scary and, and everything else.

[David Cross]

And you got to see the environment slide back into pitchforks and yeah. You know, torches.

[Tim Meadows]

But yeah, she, it. And it, it challenged me to like really like question, like, not even question, but just like, I had to step up to the plate, like, you know. So, yeah, yeah, it's been, it's been good. It's been good. And I just think that's another thing is like you, once. You once. It becomes like real, you know, to you.

[David Cross]

Exactly.

[Tim Meadows]

It changes. It changes.

[David Cross]

I, I know a couple of adults, I don't know them well. They're both totally cool. But the thing that really made me ask and answer a lot of questions to myself, much in the same way you're describing. I know two kids, and I mean kids and one. I mean they're both very good friends with my daughter and they. There's not a doubt in my mind that this is a phase. And I'm talking about when one girl was three when she said, daddy, I'm a girl. You know, I'm a, I'm a girl who loves my penis. That's what she said. She was three. And we. I know her as a girl and she's a girl. And I know then there's another kid and my. One of. One of my daughter's best friend. I think if you asked her to name your best friend, it would be this person. And then has been in class since pre K, so. And now in second grade, they live down the street. And then she said the same thing. I'm a boy, cut off all her hair and now I only see a Boy. And there's nothing forced. None of the parents, I think they. I'm imagining, I know both sets of parents and I'm imagining it was a. You know, they're both very fair minded, rational, progressive people. So they probably like, okay, this is going to be tough. We're going to go through some tougher things when he or she gets older. They're both in very friendly environments. One's in New York, one's in la. So like minded people, people are sympathetic, empathetic, going to let them live their lives as best they can without, you know, shooting them or beating them with bats or chasing them or denying them things. And that's. I mean, I picture those kids and again, I know I see these kids all the time and I picture them when there's the kind of, you know, abstract thing about they're shutting off. Kids in Indiana are not going to have any access to this thing. And it's, it's. There's going to be more suicide, unfortunately. Yeah. And I don't know, I blame the electoral electoral college.

[Tim Meadows]

Yeah. Yeah. Well, it's a lot. It's a lot.

[David Cross]

Yeah.

[Tim Meadows]

And.

[David Cross]

But let's. I just, I want to go back because I was in the middle of saying this is the greatest country that ever existed in history.

[Tim Meadows]

Yeah.

[David Cross]

Yeah.

[Tim Meadows]

Should we stand up? You want to stand up or.

[David Cross]

I'm standing up right now.

[Tim Meadows]

I. This, this country gives me a boner. It does.

[David Cross]

I want to. Fuck this.

[Tim Meadows]

I'm. Fuck it. So from behind, from Florida all the way up to fucking Maine.

[David Cross]

Oh, I was going to go up to Seattle, give it a big. You know what? I have a bigger shaft. So there's more.

[Tim Meadows]

Yeah.

[David Cross]

Thing to cover.

[Tim Meadows]

Yeah. I just want to, I'm gonna. Just want to hit the East Coast. Just get the East Coast. Just give it to it here. Boston, take some Rhode Island. Come on, come on.

[David Cross]

Thirteen original colonies. Let's see how you ride a dick.

[Tim Meadows]

I'll look at you across the country with a high five from the Spit Roast.

[David Cross]

Spit Roast America.

[Tim Meadows]

We should do a tour. That what we'll call it the Spit Roast Tour.

[David Cross]

Tim Meadows and David Cross, America. Or no, actually, probably if we want to make some money. David Cross and Tim Meadows.

[Tim Meadows]

Yeah.

[David Cross]

Spit Roast tour.

[Tim Meadows]

Yeah.

[David Cross]

Hey, do you. Speaking of which, you plug some shows that you got? You. I know you have some coming up, right?

[Tim Meadows]

I do. I'm going to Winnipeg. I'm gonna be in Winnipeg.

[David Cross]

I'm gonna be in Winnipeg too.

[Tim Meadows]

Yeah, we sort of.

[David Cross]

Wait, where are you there?

[Tim Meadows]

I'm. When are you There I'm next week, so.

[David Cross]

Oh, I'm just gonna miss.

[Tim Meadows]

And we do the SNL 50th next weekend and then mall for a few days the following week. And then I go to Winnipeg for like that weekend. So it's like the 20th, 22nd or something like that of February.

[David Cross]

I'm there in March.

[Tim Meadows]

Okay, yeah, yeah, I'm there a little bit. I'm soon. I'm there soon.

[David Cross]

But now I had James Austin Johnson on the show. Really funny. Really funny dude. And I had him. So his episode is going to come out after the SNL 50th show. So I'm going to ask you to do the same thing. I mean, how many times you get this opportunity to. Because it'll come out after it airs to talk about. Give 1. Talk to the audience as if it was a tremendous success and then also won if. As if it was a tremendous failure. And how the 50th. Yeah. Okay, so do the success to camera.

[Tim Meadows]

Or just to talk it to camera? Yeah, I'll go here.

[David Cross]

Boy.

[Tim Meadows]

The 50th anniversary, it was such a success. I mean, to see Bruce Springsteen, Paul McCartney, Taylor Swift.

[David Cross]

Wow, dude.

[Tim Meadows]

These songs. They just performed these songs together and it was amazing. And they brought me up on stage and I was like. I did cowbell, even though they had Will Ferrell.

[David Cross]

Wow.

[Tim Meadows]

So it was a dream come true. So thank you to the. To Bruce, the Boss, Paul Sir, Paul and Taylor, the woman I'm dating.

[David Cross]

Wow. That was a success.

[Tim Meadows]

Yeah. Success.

[David Cross]

That just happened.

[Tim Meadows]

Just. Yeah.

[David Cross]

Holy.

[Tim Meadows]

Yeah.

[David Cross]

Okay. And now, in case it goes tits.

[Tim Meadows]

Up, what do you have to say, boy? SNL 50th was. Was a failure. They had Menudo reunited, which I'm who was asking for that. We had to sit there and they did like six songs. Like, I don't know any of these songs they're playing. They did it all in Spanish, you know, so it was like just a waste of time. The lower third thing wasn't working, so we didn't even know what the lyrics were. So that happened. And then Chris Rock punched me in the back of the head because I was bobbing along the menudo. And he was like, you. And so he hit me. Turned around, we started getting into it. Sandler broke it up, but his pants fell down. And then his. His. He had one in this like fake tuxedos where the thing rolls up, you know, and he was pushing it down. It was just like. It was crazy. And then Radio City caught on fire, which was pretty horrible.

[David Cross]

How did it how did that happen?

[Tim Meadows]

It was a Taylor Swift head. Did a candle number.

[David Cross]

Oh, okay.

[Tim Meadows]

And she had a choir, a bunch of kids sitting around her, because I didn't see.

[David Cross]

I heard and I obviously saw the news footage, and it was like the whole place went down.

[Tim Meadows]

Yeah. They. Candles all around. Then they were like. Had a helicopter come in, like Miss Saigon, you know, that play? And it was. The helicopter started, like. And then the candles fell. Caught on fire. Yeah. All the costumes were made out of paper, which was just stupid.

[David Cross]

Yeah. Anyways, it's not bright.

[Tim Meadows]

No candles and paper.

[David Cross]

Anyways, any survivors?

[Tim Meadows]

No. Oh, no. Show biz is starting over.

[David Cross]

All right, well, thank you, Tim. Thanks for that. And we'll figure out which one goes out.

[Tim Meadows]

I hope this is a good one.

[David Cross]

Yeah, we'll see. You never know now, Tim, I close every episode with a question from my daughter.

[Tim Meadows]

Oh, okay.

[David Cross]

Yep. Still seven. But by the time this goes out, she will be eight.

[Tim Meadows]

Her birthday is next week.

[David Cross]

Yep. Okay. But here is.

[Tim Meadows]

Or does she know who I am? Or just these just questions.

[David Cross]

These are just questions. I asked her to come up with questions for my podcast. And then she'll. She'll either say something. Say, that'd be a good question for your podcast. Or, daddy, I have a question for your podcast.

[Tim Meadows]

Okay.

[David Cross]

And this is one of them. All right. Why do electricity and water not go together?

[Tim Meadows]

Wow. That's a good question from your daughter. I really don't know scientifically why they don't go together, but if they do meet and you're in the middle, you're the loser, first of all. But I think it has something to do with the positive and negative charges from electricity.

[David Cross]

I can't answer. This is for you to answer in any way you see.

[Tim Meadows]

Yeah.

[David Cross]

And I will stay out of it.

[Tim Meadows]

Yeah. Well, I think. I really don't know scientifically why they don't. I'm just an actor.

[David Cross]

Just.

[Tim Meadows]

I don't know.

[David Cross]

She's been hearing that a lot lately.

[Tim Meadows]

Really?

[David Cross]

Yeah. She'll ask me about stuff or can she have something? Or whatever. Why does this thing. I'll be like, honey, I'm just an actor. All right.

[Tim Meadows]

Yeah. And the questions get harder. Like, when they're younger, it's easier. Like, you know, oh, where's bread? How do we get bread? Oh, I can tell you that.

[David Cross]

That's easy.

[Tim Meadows]

Yeah, it's easy. I could figure that out.

[David Cross]

But then you get, what is death? Yeah. Brain Twizzler. Like, why do electricity and water not go together? You got me. That's why you're going to school.

[Tim Meadows]

Yeah. But, yeah, tell us when you get a little older. Yeah, I wish. I wish I knew. I don't have an answer. And I'm too tired actually, too.

[David Cross]

I'm wiped out, man, because I've been going. I had about a half hour in between dropping my daughter off and having to go to the doctors, but I've been going non stop.

[Tim Meadows]

Yeah.

[David Cross]

Didn't sleep very well last night. No, it wasn't Coke. It was.

[Tim Meadows]

I didn't say anything.

[David Cross]

You want to guess?

[Tim Meadows]

Oh, no, I'm just.

[David Cross]

I know.

[Tim Meadows]

I did a hot yoga class this morning before I came here.

[David Cross]

Hot yoga is the best.

[Tim Meadows]

Yeah.

[David Cross]

Really good.

[Tim Meadows]

You do it?

[David Cross]

I did. There's. I know they have it at this amazing gym that's down the street from me that I signed up for to get a little bit better shape to hike Machu Picchu. And then once I. And I truly believe this, like, oh, this is great. Once I come back, I'll really get into it. And then I just been once, I think, you know, in six months.

[Tim Meadows]

Yeah.

[David Cross]

Boy, it's literally down the street.

[Tim Meadows]

What a quitter.

[David Cross]

Oh, yeah.

[Tim Meadows]

You even. You did it once and you were.

[David Cross]

Like, I did it a bunch and then got ready to go on this, you know, pretty strenuous hike and did that and then thought, now, I mean, even better. I lost. Dropped five pounds, you know, I need to lose like, 11. Yeah, I'd be good with 11. I dropped five. I was getting closer. It's like, all right, let's keep going. Let's keep going. I think I went once and then, yeah, it. But also, to be fair, I. I went out on tour in September. That was still, like. That was still a good seven weeks, at least that I didn't go before I went out on tour. And it just, you know. Tour? Yeah.

[Tim Meadows]

You don't have a chef or anything?

[David Cross]

No, no, I don't. Yeah, I got a chef. Chef Boyardee. Drop the checks. No, I do not have chef.

[Tim Meadows]

That's. That's too bad.

[David Cross]

First time I ever saw that. I was a chef, a private chef.

[Tim Meadows]

Okay.

[David Cross]

Yes. I was writing with Rob Cohen, if you know Rob.

[Tim Meadows]

I know Rob.

[David Cross]

Yeah. I think he's done little stints here and there on snl, I think, briefly.

[Tim Meadows]

Yep, he did. That's right.

[David Cross]

And Rob and I were writing this movie called the Towering Disaster, and for Ben Stiller and Judd Apatow, and they. We were in some very empty office building and in Burbank, and we'd been there for a couple weeks and all Nobody else was there. With two other people there. And then all of a sudden, this, like, a third of the entire floor is being taken over, and they're doing stuff. And it was a Sinbad show. I can't remember if it was talk show or something. I feel like it was a talk show or something. And they kitted out one room, which would be like a small conference room, right? Windows overlooking the valley. And that's where his private chef was. Sinbad Pete. Sinbad had a private chef, and he was there, and he wore the toque and the chef's whites. I'm not kidding. And he had, like, hot plates. Like, you know, an omelet bar. It was like, basically an omelet bar for. Oh, that's for Sinbad.

[Tim Meadows]

It's omelet bar. Basically.

[David Cross]

It was basically an omelette bar.

[Tim Meadows]

But the guy wore his chef stuff.

[David Cross]

He wore his chef stuff. Yep. That was the first time the concept even occurred to me. I was really new to Hollywood. I mean, I had gotten out there to write on the Stiller show and then went right into writing this thing with Rob, who's another writer in the Stiller show. And so I was. I mean, I hadn't even been there a year yet. And I'm like, you got a private chef at your. At this office. In verb.

[Tim Meadows]

It was. Yeah, I remember this. And it's, like, a long time ago, but you were doing. You changed my life. I'm gonna tell you what happened.

[David Cross]

Here we go.

[Tim Meadows]

You were doing a pilot for some. I don't know if it's just CBS or something, but Besser. Matt Besser was on it. Yeah, we're doing something.

[David Cross]

No, it was for hbo.

[Tim Meadows]

Hbo, yeah.

[David Cross]

Yeah.

[Tim Meadows]

And I came by to see Besser, and it was in between a break, and we're gonna have lunch or whatever, and then you came over, and we'd already met. We'd known each other before that. And then you said. And I was going. I had gotten divorced and was sort of just like, trying to get myself back out there or whatever. And Besser was very, like, integral in getting me back into an improv. But anyways, I went by the set, and you guys are broke. And then you came over to me and you looked at me and you went. You have on. You look like a walking advertisement. You have on a Nike hat, an Adidas shirt, pants from so and so. And your shoes are from so and so. Like, why do you dress like a commercial? That was what you said to me, basically.

[David Cross]

Yeah.

[Tim Meadows]

And I was like, oh, wow. I never really noticed that before. And from that day on, I would. For a while, I would not wear clothes that had any kind of, like, bright.

[David Cross]

I don't wear. Like, if you want me to advertise your clothes, then you pay me or you give this to me for free. I'm not getting a big fucking Nike swoop over here and advertising your shit.

[Tim Meadows]

But. But I did. I remember thinking. Because nobody had ever said that to me before either. And I don't think it was like, oh, I just came from working out.

[David Cross]

Right.

[Tim Meadows]

And I was just like, oh, stopped by the studio.

[David Cross]

You weren't even aware that all your clothes, just the ensemble you had chosen.

[Tim Meadows]

Yes. Was a complete advertisement for some corporations. And then I totally, after that was just like, I'm never doing that again or I'm going to be more aware of it. You know what I mean? So, anyways, yeah, thanks for, like, you know, making me more shaming you sure. Shaming me.

[David Cross]

Was it shame or was it more like, what are you doing?

[Tim Meadows]

Well, are you aware in front of a bunch of people? So I think it was shaming. Nobody laughed.

[David Cross]

Right? That was not my intent. Clear.

[Tim Meadows]

You know, I don't know, but it was very. I just remember if it did. Like, I was like, oh, yeah, well, so you don't.

[David Cross]

You don't. You're not that guy either. And I. I am not that guy. I. I know you from way back. And you also, like, you were never that guy. So it was a little weird.

[Tim Meadows]

Yeah.

[David Cross]

It was probably midlife crisis, kind of.

[Tim Meadows]

I probably went to TJ Maxx or something and just, like, grabbed a bunch of. During that period, I wasn't really thinking clearly.

[David Cross]

Right. But I know you had a Flamin Hot Funyuns hoodie. You love Flamin Hot Funyuns. You love it. All right. It was limited.

[Tim Meadows]

It was a limited edition of Funyuns.

[David Cross]

Sure.

[Tim Meadows]

And I thought, hey, these are gonna last because they're so good.

[David Cross]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Give me a hoodie.

[Tim Meadows]

I'll take a hoodie.

[David Cross]

I'll pay double for that.

[Tim Meadows]

They're like, we're giving them free.

[David Cross]

No, I'm paying you. I'm paying you. I want to wear this around. All right, man.

[Tim Meadows]

All right. Do I walk out like I came in? Just get my bag and get the fuck out.

[David Cross]

So I'll see you Saturday night? You can go to that.

[Tim Meadows]

Oh, great.

[David Cross]

Oh, for sure. The rap party thing. Okay. Cool Sense is working Overtime is a Headgum podcast created and hosted by me, David Cross. The show is edited by Katie Skelton and engineered by Nicole Lyons with supervising producer Emma Foley. Thanks to Demi Druchin for our show art and Mark Rivers for our theme song. For more podcasts by headgum, visit headgum.com or wherever you listen to your favorite shows. Leave us a review on Apple Podcasts and maybe we'll read it on a future episode. I'm not gonna do that. Thanks for listening.

[Tim Meadows]

That was a Hitgun podcast.