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David Cross
This is a headgum podcast. Okay. You have your choice of red chairs. This is brand new. Starting.
Tony Shalhoub
Can I have the blue one? All right.
David Cross
All right. No, you may not.
Tony Shalhoub
All right.
David Cross
Tony, would you like anything from the kitchen?
Tony Shalhoub
Water, tea? They're bringing me a wine.
David Cross
Oh, great. Oh, can I get a chicken parm with some broccolini and are you going here? No, no, no. I'm stepping back. Which way?
Tony Shalhoub
I think I like the view from here.
David Cross
Okay, great. Also, so can we get. I don't know if you saw today's episode. Can we get the view? Today's episode? The view up for Tony to check out.
Tony Shalhoub
I did not see that.
David Cross
Okay, so you're going to love it.
Tony Shalhoub
Busy work.
David Cross
Can we get a. And a. A glasses stand for all of Tony's glasses? And then. And my phone and, well, you know.
Tony Shalhoub
Decide to take my shoes off. Maybe a shoe rack.
David Cross
I'm going to take my shoes off. I never even thought of that. But I can also do that because I have adorable socks on. Check out my socks.
Tony Shalhoub
Oh, yeah, I can't beat those today.
David Cross
All right, you can take your shoes off if you want. Unless your feet don't smell very good and then. I like this. No, you like it. I like the no socks, the no shoes thing. Oh, the set.
Tony Shalhoub
I've inspired something here.
David Cross
Tony, where are you from?
Tony Shalhoub
I'm from Green Bay, Wisconsin.
David Cross
Wow. Tell me about that.
Tony Shalhoub
Great. I was just back there recently. I have, you know, season tickets, Lambo, which were my dad's. Now I have them and from a big family there. Left there when I was about 19, but still. Still got family and friends.
David Cross
Is Green Bay in Door county? Is that right or Green Bay?
Tony Shalhoub
Green Bay is in. Just below Door County. It's in Brown County. But I. We actually have. I own property in Door county, which is quite beautiful.
David Cross
Oh, yeah, we've been there a couple times. I dated a girl who, like in college era, who. Who was from Stevens Point. And they. They're big extended family and they would go to Door County.
Tony Shalhoub
You know, we spent our summers growing up, you know, there.
David Cross
That's beautiful. I saw the northern lights there. The only time I've ever seen northern lights and they weren't full on color, aurora borealis things, but they were the wispy cloud, the white kind of fingers, and. Oh yeah, it was magical. It was really cool.
Tony Shalhoub
So that. When I was a kid, but yeah.
David Cross
Oh, that's. I would not have taken you for a cheesehead.
Tony Shalhoub
No. A lot of people think I'm. I don't know. From New York, maybe, or. But no, I'm a. I'm a Midwestern.
David Cross
Well, they're. They're. Those are racist. Those are racist people.
Tony Shalhoub
Yeah, exactly.
David Cross
You know. And where do you live now?
Tony Shalhoub
I live in Manhattan.
David Cross
Okay.
Tony Shalhoub
I was in LA for a long time, but then our kids grew up, moved East. My wife's from New York, so. And we were sort of kind of, you know, dying to get back. I'd actually been working in New York a lot the last, say, few years in la, working more in New York for some reason, and then. So we just decided to move back and we're loving it.
Emma Foley
Yeah.
David Cross
Great. When did you move back?
Tony Shalhoub
Eight years ago.
David Cross
Oh, yeah. So significant time. Yeah. I'm not. I lived in LA for nine years, and although I understand why people like it and that's not confusing to me, I just don't like any of those things people like about it. And I prefer what New York gets.
Tony Shalhoub
You.
David Cross
And I've been on the road. I've just. I'm home for a couple days, and I've been touring around the United States, which I've done a lot. And I was saying to my wife yesterday, like. And I know this, and I think about it almost daily, but I'm so lucky I get to live here.
Tony Shalhoub
That's how I feel.
David Cross
I mean, I really do. I mean, daily, I think, does take.
Tony Shalhoub
A lot, and you know what I mean, it takes a lot of. Well, it takes a lot of resources, but it takes a lot of stamina and, you know, patience. But, boy, it's patience.
David Cross
I've never thought about that. But yes. Tolerance for rude people.
Tony Shalhoub
Dividends, though.
David Cross
Yes.
Tony Shalhoub
You know, everything's kind of like right there.
David Cross
There you were in Green Bay is fair. I mean, what would you call. It's a.
Tony Shalhoub
Well, Green Bay is not a city. When I was growing up, it was like 65,000 people, which is kind of crazy to have the NFL franchise in a town.
David Cross
Well, that's always been the knock on it or the observation. Yeah.
Tony Shalhoub
But now I think now it's probably up to a little over a hundred thousand. Still not big, but, you know, not as big as Madison or Milwaukee.
David Cross
Yeah. But. But you get. You get a fan base that is pulled from the rest of Wisconsin. Right, sure. You know, so, meaning it's not. It's not like. It's not losing a billion dollars a year to have a football team there.
Tony Shalhoub
No.
David Cross
And there's a tremendous legacy.
Tony Shalhoub
And it's fun. It's just fun to. You know, I don't know if You've ever been to Lambeau, but I have not.
David Cross
I haven't been to Green Bay to join me there.
Tony Shalhoub
It's fun. What's beautiful about it is, unlike so many cities, the stadium, or the shrine, kind of as it's known, is smack dab in the middle of a residential area. It's surrounded by houses and little small businesses.
David Cross
That's how it should be, I think.
Tony Shalhoub
Exactly. You know, you kind of. I think of how. You know, Wrigley Field or one of those.
David Cross
Maybe.
Tony Shalhoub
Maybe Fenway, too.
David Cross
Sure.
Tony Shalhoub
But for. For a major football franchise, Cleveland State, that still.
David Cross
Yeah, they're kind of right there. I mean, it's. I wouldn't say it's residential, but it's downtown. I mean, it's, you know, Minneapolis, the Minnesota Twins things right there in town.
Tony Shalhoub
Yeah. And, yeah, it's one of those, you know, I mean, obviously, the stadium has grown a lot since I was a kid, but it's. There's still a quaintness about it and. And it's fam. The only sports team that's owned by the town.
David Cross
Yep. And are you excited to finally not have a. A raging for a quarterback? That must be exciting to be able to go. Yeah, I think. I think we're finally doing it.
Tony Shalhoub
Yeah.
David Cross
I. I only got a guy can. We got a.
Tony Shalhoub
We got a. We got a really good replacement going. Yeah, two good replacements, actually.
David Cross
Who's the other one?
Tony Shalhoub
Well, because. Because Love got hurt again last week. We don't know if he's coming back this week, but of this guy, Malik Willis is. This young kid.
David Cross
Malik Willis was.
Tony Shalhoub
Comes out and just.
David Cross
But he was out of what school. He just.
Tony Shalhoub
He can't remember where he's out of. But he is damn good.
David Cross
Yeah, he had a really good combine, too, I remember. Oh, yeah, yeah.
Tony Shalhoub
We. We. You know, the town just loves this kid.
David Cross
Yeah. Good.
Tony Shalhoub
And so. Yeah, so we're.
Emma Foley
We're.
Tony Shalhoub
We're. We're happy. We've, you know, we're in. Into a new era.
David Cross
And do you foresee, regardless of what happens in the election, do you see Brett Favre going to jail?
Tony Shalhoub
I. Oh, God. You know, I don't want to see that.
David Cross
No.
Tony Shalhoub
Oh, I don't want to see. You do.
David Cross
Yeah.
Tony Shalhoub
I mean, you know, he was such a. He was such a hero and such a legend in his day. I just. I'd hate to see anything terrible go.
David Cross
Oh, yeah. I mean, you'd. But you. Yeah. You wouldn't want to see it if you had an option of if that thing. But knowing what happened? You go. Yeah, that guy should go to jail.
Tony Shalhoub
Perhaps that's, you know, Justice.
David Cross
Yeah.
Tony Shalhoub
Justice prevails.
David Cross
Yeah. And how do you feel about David Justice?
Tony Shalhoub
Who's David Justice?
David Cross
He was. He played on the Atlanta Braves outfield.
Tony Shalhoub
Don't know baseball.
David Cross
Oh, Tony.
Tony Shalhoub
Sorry. All I know is that the Yankees are getting their asses kicked in the World Series. That's all I know.
David Cross
How do you feel about that?
Tony Shalhoub
Great.
David Cross
Feel great even though you don't know baseball or football?
Tony Shalhoub
I know enough to. I'll tell you why I feel great about that. Because I'm a massive Red Sox fan.
David Cross
Yeah, me too. Because I'm Braves and Red Sox, so. Yeah. Which are. You know, there's a lot of history going back. Obviously more with the Red Sox, but you know, multiple World Series, Yankees beating the.
Tony Shalhoub
Yeah.
David Cross
Braves and.
Tony Shalhoub
And then. But that said, my son in law is a huge Yankees fan, so I've got to tread, you know, I got to sort of walk the fence there.
David Cross
Sure.
Tony Shalhoub
But.
David Cross
But it is. It's not unfun to watch them lose. And also, I mean, the Dodgers team is. That is a killer. Killer.
Tony Shalhoub
Total brutal. Yeah.
David Cross
And everywhere. What was I gonna say? And Freddie Freeman, ex brave, you know, so. Yeah, I've been enjoying watching the Series.
Tony Shalhoub
No, he's the guy that's like hitting a home run every game. That much I know about this.
David Cross
I've set a number of records. First out of 696 World Series games, he's the first guy to hit a walk off grand slam. He's hit in. He's hit a home run in every World Series game this year. Four in a row. And when you add two years World Series, he games he was in. He said six home runs.
Tony Shalhoub
No.
David Cross
In a row. Yeah, yeah. It's crazy. If he hits one tonight.
Tony Shalhoub
Holy.
David Cross
Holy shit. That's going to be great. Yeah. All right, enough about Brett Favre and the Green Bay Packers. So you, you and I were in the same movie.
Tony Shalhoub
Yes.
David Cross
And.
Tony Shalhoub
And we were both treated not well.
David Cross
Our characters, you mean?
Tony Shalhoub
Yeah, we were treated quite well. Our characters were.
David Cross
Yeah, yeah. Damaged. It's funny because people have not a lot, but on occasion mistaken me, thought knew that I was in Men in Black and thought that I was your character. For real.
Tony Shalhoub
Wow.
David Cross
Yeah, that's happened a couple times.
Tony Shalhoub
I got mistaken yesterday for the guy in Schitt's Creek. Oh, Eugene Levy, I would assume, or. Yeah, the elder. Yes, yes.
David Cross
Yeah, yeah, Okay, I can see that minus the glasses.
Tony Shalhoub
And what else? Oh, I was told that I was great as Doing the voice of that guy in Family Guy? Well, no, it was the Simpsons. The Simpsons. I said I wish I.
David Cross
They thought you were. Oh. Oh, probably Hank Azaria.
Tony Shalhoub
Yeah, probably.
David Cross
Oh, yeah.
Tony Shalhoub
I wish I were in this course for 25 years.
David Cross
Yeah.
Tony Shalhoub
If I were, I probably wouldn't be here today, but whatever.
David Cross
You mean, you wouldn't be in this room.
Tony Shalhoub
Exactly.
David Cross
Now, that's one of the rudest things that's ever been said to me.
Tony Shalhoub
One of the rudest, that is, but possibly one of the truest.
David Cross
Sure. I'm not.
Tony Shalhoub
No.
David Cross
I'm not saying they're not. They're not.
Tony Shalhoub
No.
David Cross
Mutually exclusive at all.
Tony Shalhoub
No. No offense meant.
David Cross
Well, that is off. I mean, come on. So you're saying if you had more money in the bank, you would not be here?
Tony Shalhoub
Actually, no, that's not true, because I'm here to talk about something that I did recently. A podcast about the upcoming election, and that's why that's more important than money in the bank, so.
David Cross
But if you hadn't done that.
Tony Shalhoub
But if I had Hank Azaria's money, as.
David Cross
You wouldn't be here in this room.
Tony Shalhoub
Yeah, that's what you would.
David Cross
Would you at least Google me?
Tony Shalhoub
Oh, for sure. I'm a huge.
David Cross
And then make a. Why would you come here? What, just because you had an extra, you know, 100 million in the bank? Well, you really have changed. Really? The Green Bay, Tony.
Tony Shalhoub
I have.
David Cross
I know. I knew. Is completely different now. Hollywood.
Tony Shalhoub
We were in high school together, so.
David Cross
So Hollywood gone. So Hollywood. And how many of P. Diddy's parties did you go to?
Tony Shalhoub
Well, let me think. I would have to say none on that one.
David Cross
All right, well, we'll. We'll edit that out. And we'll edit. We'll edit it to sound like nine.
Tony Shalhoub
Good. Yeah, I can look at that later.
David Cross
Yeah. Yeah. All right. Okay. So nine. Nine.
Tony Shalhoub
Yeah.
David Cross
Wow, you must have seen so much. Was Brett Favre there? Well, Tony, I didn't. I didn't know that you came in here with an agenda. That's okay. I'm not going to hold it against you. Nobody informed me. So tell me about the. The aforementioned podcast about the election.
Tony Shalhoub
Well, it was actually based on a novel written by a friend of mine, Rick Dresser, fantastic writer and playwright. And Rick wrote a novel. Actually, this was written before the 2020 election because of all of the first four Trump years and everyone's anxiety about the upcoming election between Trump and Biden. And it's a novel called It Happened Here, which is kind of a. Based on a novel written in 1935 by Claire Lewis.
David Cross
Yeah.
Tony Shalhoub
Called It Can't Happen Here about potential fascism.
David Cross
Yeah.
Tony Shalhoub
You know, invading. Yeah. And Rick wrote this novel, called it. It Happened Here and it's. And then he adapted it for a podcast for.
David Cross
So when you. So it's not a. It's not like this kind of conversational podcast. It's a dramatic reading.
Tony Shalhoub
It's kind of like a radio play.
David Cross
Got it. Yeah.
Tony Shalhoub
Cast, I guess you'd say.
David Cross
I've done a couple of those.
Tony Shalhoub
It's available on wherever people get their podcasts and it's about six episodes and it.
David Cross
I get my podcast from the farmer's market here in Union Square, which is Monday, Wednesday and Fridays. There's a stand.
Tony Shalhoub
The prices are so much better.
David Cross
The prices are better and it's fresher.
Tony Shalhoub
It's organic.
David Cross
It's organic.
Tony Shalhoub
Organic podcast.
David Cross
One would hope if you're believing the copy. But yeah, they're in between the Hudson Fisheries place, which has trout and then the duck eggs place.
Tony Shalhoub
Delicious.
David Cross
Where I get my podcast from.
Tony Shalhoub
Good. Well, I hope you buy enough so you can freeze them and yeah, you know, you buy in bulk.
David Cross
Oh, I buy in bulk because. Yeah, I'm prepping too for the, you know, the third World War, so I'm a prepper. Yeah.
Tony Shalhoub
You're kind of a hoarder too. A prepper hoarder.
David Cross
No, I mean, I mean there's nothing wrong with. You have to hoard in order to have a 25 year supply, you know, even though the radiation will still kill you for, you know, a thousand years plus. But I've got 25 years worth of food, all pretzels.
Tony Shalhoub
I like, I like the way you think. You, you, you're a planner.
David Cross
Yeah.
Tony Shalhoub
And that's be.
David Cross
You know, I've got a family to think about now and, and I've two actually. I mean I've. It's weird that it came out this way, but I have a. I also have a family in Portland, Maine and I'm. They'll probably meet during, you know, in the bunker.
Tony Shalhoub
Sort of. Sort of the Dan Aykroyd school of marriage. Is that.
David Cross
I don't know what that. Oh, does he have two families? What? No. Are you serious?
Tony Shalhoub
Did I just make that up?
David Cross
Which wife is hotter?
Tony Shalhoub
No, I don't not met either of them.
David Cross
Oh, man. Well, I've seen a picture of one of them was pretty attractive.
Tony Shalhoub
Oh yeah.
David Cross
I did not know Dan Aykroyd had multiple families.
Tony Shalhoub
It's interesting that you started mentioning families because this podcast actually has to do with that. It's about a family that's divided. And the story of it happened here takes place in 1939. And it's a young girl who's teenage, Late teenager. A late teenage girl is interviewing her family about what happened 15 years ago in 2024, how this family split.
David Cross
Oh, it takes place in 2030, I understand. Okay, right.
Tony Shalhoub
So it's in the 15 years, in the future.
David Cross
Got it.
Tony Shalhoub
And she's asking about, because she wasn't born yet, what happened in 2024? Why did the family splinter? And why did the country kind of fall apart?
David Cross
What does the country look like in that world?
Tony Shalhoub
Well, as Dresser kind of beautifully paints it, you know, on the surface, it looks the same. You know, you still have Netflix in second day, free delivery. But all that, really, all you've lost really is your freedom. So that's.
David Cross
That's it.
Tony Shalhoub
You know, it's dark, but it's. Yeah, it's a troubled, troubled time. And she's trying to get from interviewing all these members of her family, older members, cousins, uncles, aunts, so forth, what happened leading up to the election and then during and after the election. And the family is divided in the sense that my character is a kind of liberal college professor. John Turturro plays my brother. He's much more conservative. He owns a private security company. Edie Falco plays my wife. There's a lot of great actors in this piece, and it delves into how wrong everything goes in the course of that next 50 years.
David Cross
Is the media mentioned as being culpable in the.
Tony Shalhoub
Sure. Oh, yes, sure. Although by the time we get to 2039, the media is all state controlled. Everything else has been, you know, fairly squashed.
David Cross
Right. And what about the oligarchs and the, you know, the Bezos and the musks and all that?
Tony Shalhoub
It doesn't go into, like, naming actual.
David Cross
Names, but is there like a figurehead? Is it mentioned?
Tony Shalhoub
The Great Leader, meaning the man who became the. They don't even call it the president anymore. It's just the Great Leader. But no names are trotted out.
David Cross
Just archetypes, basically.
Tony Shalhoub
Exactly. Very familiar archetypes.
David Cross
Yeah, yeah, sure. I was just wondering if the. The. The. I mean, the stuff we're seeing now is. I can't say it's unprecedented, but the fact that they're not making any attempts to cover it up and. Because it doesn't.
Tony Shalhoub
Right. It's so blatant. And the story nods. You know, this, this podcast, like the Sinclair Lewis novel in, in 1935. They're just both cautionary tales, you know, done with, with humor, dark humor. Yeah. But with, you know, with a real, real, genuine concern about, you know, the potential where we might be heading.
David Cross
Yeah, we'll know in a couple days.
Tony Shalhoub
Or not, we know, in like three weeks, actually.
David Cross
True. Yes. Well, no. Yes, but we'll know something. I see your point that we might not know the answers. Might not all be, but we know it's going to be.
Tony Shalhoub
We'll be in a different place in a few days, that's for sure.
David Cross
And anxiety will be a big part of that place, wherever, whatever happens. Yeah.
Tony Shalhoub
Although it's hard to imagine the anxiety being any greater than it is than what I'm feeling on the street every day.
David Cross
Well, as I said, I have been touring, I'm in the middle of this tour and I've been all over America, will continue to go all over America, and I've done multiple tours and I was talking to my wife about this last night and she feels optimistic and I don't, I don't feel pessimistic. You know, there's nothing that says, oh, he's going to win. But I'm assuming you're a Trump supporter.
Tony Shalhoub
Do I, Am I that transparent?
David Cross
David, really? It's the shoe.
Tony Shalhoub
I was with this past weekend with Tammy Baldwin in Wisconsin. Senator, wonderful woman. Her campaign had invited me to join her on her bus going around the western part of the state. And it was, it was, I'd never done anything like that before. It was really interesting. She, she was mentioning that someone, perhaps you've heard this, coined this. They said they were nauseously optimistic. Have you heard them?
David Cross
Which I thought was pretty accurate. I mean, I, it, it, it would be one thing if it was, you know, like it should be in like every other country, you know, popular vote. I, I wouldn't feel so anxious. But the idea that, yeah, you know, I think Nevada goes to Trump, I think Arizona goes to Trump, you know that there are North Carolina. North Carolina, Yep. Although it'd be interesting to see what happens to the down ballot races in North Carolina. That's going to be really interesting. And also the, I mean, there's a question about Florida.
Tony Shalhoub
I mean, Florida is, you know, not a lock, apparently, from what I'm saying.
David Cross
Well, no, it's not a, it's, it's not going to turn blue. But, you know, you have some inside track on that. I mean, I hope not, but no, I do not. I'm just, you know, it's what, it's the information I'm getting. And from the sources that I trust who are uneasy and, And. And kind of quick to say, you know, because they follow where the money's going, where the. Where's the DNC gonna spend in this last week? And they're pulling money out of here and putting it over there. I see. And just following that kind of stuff. And I mean, we'll see. It's. Because it comes down to an electoral college of seven states. You know, we'll. We'll see. But what I was to bring it back to. I'm traveling and traveling and. And granted the. Almost every single city is liberal, progressive, blue, whatever you want to call it, and. But you have to cover a lot of territory in between those cities.
Tony Shalhoub
Oh, yes.
David Cross
And it is nine to one Trump signs. And the signs are not simple. They're not like, you know, there's a couple, you know, quasi clever Harris signs and a couple of. But they're mostly just somebody saying, I support this person. But the Trump signs are insane. They're so.
Tony Shalhoub
I see them.
David Cross
The. There's like, There's. They're so angry and, and juvenile as well. And face. Yeah, but there. There's like. I mean, there was a. I have a place upstate, and it's Trump country.
Tony Shalhoub
Up there, and my daughter lives upstate. So I. I see them.
David Cross
The. Like, I was at the farmer's market a couple weeks ago and up there and, you know, parked next to this truck with, I don't know, 12 bumper stickers and flags. And I was like, man, your truck is really angry. That is the angriest truck I've ever seen. You know, fuck Joe Biden. There's a. There's a lot of JB in pencil in Pennsylvania. There's like a canoe type of boat and it's flipped over. It's off the. Off the, you know, one of the roadways there. And all this is all rural kind of farmland and. And it just. Somebody spray painted Fuck Biden, exclamation mark, and just put this boat on the side of the road for everybody to see. And then. But my favorite. There's so many crazy, you know, flags on signs, on posters on. They're gonna like, just really get into decorating and that can't be good for the canoe.
Tony Shalhoub
I mean, putting that paint on that.
David Cross
I think it's really good for the canoe. I think it's gonna force the canoe to really think about things, you know. But my favorite Trump sign and there's. There's one like down the road for me is, you know, Trump 2024. Promises made, promises kept.
Tony Shalhoub
There you go.
David Cross
What are you talking about? What.
Tony Shalhoub
What promise did he promise was that he'd come back? I think that's what.
David Cross
What promise did he make and keep? He cut million, you know, millionaires, taxes. But. And I guess that was a promise. But why would this guy be happy about it? He's got just promises made, promises kept.
Tony Shalhoub
Wow.
David Cross
And I. Yeah, and I was doing a show, I don't know, week and a half ago. I can't remember where I was, but somebody in the audience was like. Because I. I. Trump had done that at the Michigan rally. He had made that statement about women. You will no longer be abandoned, lonely or scared. I will be your protector and you will be protected, whatever. And I put it to music and I sing it, and. And it's really not even. It's. I mean, I've done way more. This particular set I'm doing is not, oddly enough, not that political. Doesn't really talk about religion too much. It's probably the most of. Of all the sets I've done, and I don't know how many I've done at this point, but, you know, tours and specials and stuff. I don't. It's like the least political, the least interesting. It's. Yeah. And. But. So I don't even get into it that much, but then I just talk about how insane that speech was and then just described the woman he's talking to. And some guy was like, so name one of Harris's position. He was upset that I was bagging on Trump, and I didn't even get. As I was taking a breath in other people, the audience was, she's not a fucking. She's not that guy. And that's all you need to know at this point. Um. Yeah. Which is kind of like, you know, the. How Biden got elected in a.
Tony Shalhoub
That's true.
David Cross
Yeah. So anyway, 2025 is here, and Mint.
Emma Foley
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David Cross
If I was going to.
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Where the dams come together, I don't.
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David Cross
Boring.
Tony Shalhoub
It's not boring, but it's frigging exhausting.
David Cross
No, I meant it's not boring. I just meant as far as a podcast goes, like if you're at home or in the gym or on a plane or in your car or at a nursery or at your farmer's market, or at a farmer's market, or at the pharmacy or at the record store or on the street, or at Farm Aid, or at Farm Aid or at Duane Reade or at John Hopkins or at the Mayo Clinic, or you're getting an AIDS test, or you're at the party store, or you're at shoprite, or you're at Pathmark, or you're at Apple Andy's Cheese to Do, or you're at Six Flags over Texas, or if you're at Six Flags over Georgia, or if you're at Six Flags over Modesto, or if you're at Six Flags over Persepony and listening to this podcast, I was saying that might be a little boring. So we should move. That's all. I mean. Yeah, well, not that the subject matter is boring. I know. Not. Not at all.
Tony Shalhoub
To me, there's always editing, so.
David Cross
Oh, we don't edit. We. This won't be edited.
Tony Shalhoub
I'm sorry to hear that.
David Cross
Why? What'd you hear? What?
Emma Foley
Why?
Tony Shalhoub
And just because some of the things I might have said might put people to sleep, you know, but that's the.
David Cross
Point of this podcast. Oh, this is a sleep aid. Yeah, it's a sleep aid podcast.
Tony Shalhoub
I wish I'd known that coming in.
David Cross
Yeah. Yeah. Well, it worked out great.
Tony Shalhoub
I would, you know, that's why you.
David Cross
Invited me and that's why, thank God you don't have a couple more bucks or you would never be here.
Tony Shalhoub
That's true.
David Cross
You know, how much money would you need to not come here?
Tony Shalhoub
I would say probably half of what Azaria has just.
David Cross
Oh, that's a lot. Okay. That doesn't make me feel so bad.
Tony Shalhoub
No.
David Cross
I thought you were gonna be like, if I had 50 more bucks.
Tony Shalhoub
No, no, no, no, no, no, no. It would be. It would be a lot.
David Cross
So.
Tony Shalhoub
I haven't asked.
David Cross
So $250 million. If you had $250 million.
Tony Shalhoub
Oh, my God.
David Cross
Yeah.
Tony Shalhoub
Well, I might not be living in New York City then, either.
David Cross
Where would you live?
Tony Shalhoub
Oh, Paris, maybe We could live in.
David Cross
Paris now your kids are out of the house. Right?
Tony Shalhoub
True. Yeah.
David Cross
What are you working on?
Emma Foley
Podcasts.
David Cross
If I could do that from Paris.
Tony Shalhoub
That's true.
David Cross
Yeah.
Tony Shalhoub
You know what? I'm out of here.
David Cross
All right. Another one, Another one. No, I'm trying to convince all my guests to move to Paris. So success. I know.
Tony Shalhoub
In Paris, Tennessee. I don't know if you.
David Cross
Paris, Tennessee.
Tony Shalhoub
Have you ever been?
David Cross
I've been to Paris, Texas, if that's.
Tony Shalhoub
What there's a Paris, Tennessee.
David Cross
Is there a Paris?
Tony Shalhoub
Oh, yes.
David Cross
Where is it?
Tony Shalhoub
It's. It's in the middle of nowhere, but.
David Cross
It'S so in between Knoxville and Chattanooga.
Tony Shalhoub
Exactly.
David Cross
Nashville and Chattanooga.
Tony Shalhoub
Wherever it is in those cities, that's where Paris is.
David Cross
Right. Well, Tennessee is like.
Tony Shalhoub
It's not like. It's more like Paris, Las Vegas than it is Paris, France, I think.
David Cross
Oh. So they have.
Tony Shalhoub
In terms of the size of it.
David Cross
And they have, like, shitty baguettes.
Tony Shalhoub
Yeah.
David Cross
Vegas.
Tony Shalhoub
Yeah.
David Cross
Yeah. They have the. They'll bike around with a baguette. I don't know if they still do it. I haven't really been to Vegas in quite a while. But do.
Tony Shalhoub
They don't really do that.
David Cross
Yeah. They have people like, employee, you know, employees. Yes. I'm going way back, but. But they had. They sort of bike. They had a little bikes, and then they would. And they were kind of wearing a.
Tony Shalhoub
Like a beret.
David Cross
Yeah. Parisian. Ish. Thing. And they would have baguettes on the back of a bike, and they would just sort of. Yeah.
Tony Shalhoub
You're killing me.
David Cross
Yeah. It's like, you know, for adults, like, akin to seeing Winnie the Pooh or Mickey Mouse strolling around, and they would be. They have baguettes.
Tony Shalhoub
No wonder we're 50. 50 country.
David Cross
Yeah. Well, those. They're all Harris supporters.
Tony Shalhoub
God, I hope so.
David Cross
Yeah. They're. They're not. They're not. Yeah, it's going to be. Yeah, it's very. I was talking to a therapist this morning, and she was telling me it's a. You know, it's the single biggest Thing she discusses. Discusses? With her patients, you know.
Tony Shalhoub
Really? Was it my therapist you were talking to?
David Cross
I don't know.
Tony Shalhoub
In preparation for this.
David Cross
Oh, that's an interesting idea. That seems a little sneaky. I don't like that. That's a bad idea. I'm glad. Who's your therapist?
Tony Shalhoub
They're in prison now, so.
David Cross
Oh, for what?
Tony Shalhoub
Embezzlement.
David Cross
Embezzling from who?
Tony Shalhoub
From their clients.
David Cross
How? Okay, now, how does that work? Because you get. There's like, okay, here's my hourly rate. And I see you once a week, once every two weeks, once a month, whatever it is. Maybe twice a week. But how do you embezzle that?
Tony Shalhoub
Hypnosis.
David Cross
Oh, right, of course. Oh, any. Any sneaky finger stuff going on or.
Tony Shalhoub
I don't know, hypnosis.
David Cross
Oh, so this is you. You were a victim.
Tony Shalhoub
Why. Why else would I bring it up?
David Cross
Oh, I'm making all of this up, by the way.
Tony Shalhoub
It's complete fiction. But that's.
David Cross
All right. Well, we'll edit that part out. We'll edit the part that it's. That he's making it up and it's okay.
Tony Shalhoub
Yeah, edit that out.
David Cross
It's like there's people.
Tony Shalhoub
The idea of you talking to my therapist, I just love that idea.
David Cross
All right, well, you know, when the thing's over, give me exchange details and you can send me the info and I'll. I'll give you. Therapist. A man or woman?
Tony Shalhoub
Man.
David Cross
Okay.
Tony Shalhoub
I think. Oh, you know, don't know.
David Cross
Okay.
Tony Shalhoub
Presents as a man.
David Cross
I will not presume. I'll just go into it. Androgynous. Yeah. They're not gonna have. Oh, no. They wouldn't have an issue with me being a man?
Tony Shalhoub
No, I hope not. No more than I do.
David Cross
Tony, what's your favorite song?
Tony Shalhoub
My favorite song? Is this something you ask every guest?
David Cross
No, I don't.
Tony Shalhoub
Wow. My favorite song. That's a hard one.
David Cross
I'll tell you what, let's not go favorite. What do you think? And you have time to like.
Tony Shalhoub
Like an earworm song? Kind of.
David Cross
Well, I was gonna say, what do you think is a. A close to perfect song? It may not be your favorite song, but it's. You don't know how it would improve. Like, I'll tell you my. An example. I like the song a lot. I would not say it's my favorite song or even top 10, but under pressure by David Bowie and Queen is almost a perfect. I'd say, like, close to a perfect song. Now, you have some parameters, okay. Within which to work and and let's. We'll keep talking about something else, and then it depends on that.
Tony Shalhoub
Yeah. Because, you know, I'm older than you, so there are more songs in my, you know, in my past.
David Cross
You like Winchester Cathedral and. And, like, Pictures at an exhibition. You're going back to more like Moon River.
Tony Shalhoub
I was thinking more like Moon River.
David Cross
Oh, that's a boring song.
Tony Shalhoub
No, I'm joking. I'm just saying.
David Cross
Flowing Eddie and the Turtles and. Hey, man, Ride the Peace Train. Hippie bro. No, right? No. You like space. More like Space Cowboy.
Tony Shalhoub
No. No. Although from my, you know, from my youth.
David Cross
23 Skidoo. Get the raccoon.
Tony Shalhoub
Cool. God, there's. There's. There's a lot of amazing old.
David Cross
Like you. You look like a Grease soundtrack guy to me.
Tony Shalhoub
Not at all. Yeah, that's like the exact.
David Cross
I'm kidding. The theme from swat.
Tony Shalhoub
Shaft. That's.
David Cross
That's a good song. Shaft's a good song.
Tony Shalhoub
Something probably from either, like, the Birds or, you know, Dylan had some, you know, great, great songs of depth and poetry. And that's, you know, that those are kind of my, you know, in my formative years.
David Cross
Now I have to go back because I Have you mentioned Dylan, and I have heard that name, at least not Dylan Thomas.
Tony Shalhoub
Not that far back.
David Cross
I've heard that name. I can't remember his first name. Todd. Todd Dillon. Is that right?
Tony Shalhoub
Close.
David Cross
Josh Dylan. And people rave about that guy. And, oh, my God, he's amazing. He's an amazing songwriter. And, you know, people I respect respect him. You know, Fred Durst, folks like that, and always mention him. So what is it about this Dylan character that you. That. That, you know, that reaches you?
Tony Shalhoub
Well, there's so many things. I mean, it was kind of groundbreaking. You know, when he appeared on the scene, he was, you know, kind of a bit of a rags to riches kind of story. But then he was sort of also an iconoclast in the sense that he started out as a, you know, folk singer, protest singer, and then, you know, much to the. Much to the dismay of his fans, went electric and went on to that whole thing.
David Cross
And how'd you feel about that?
Tony Shalhoub
And I was fine with it. That's what I mean. I mean, I just like, hey, he's an artist, and he gets to.
David Cross
And at this point, you're 50, right? And had you turned on, tuned in, and dropped out yet?
Tony Shalhoub
Two out of three, I would say. Yeah.
David Cross
All right. Tony, how old are you?
Tony Shalhoub
I know now that you're mentoring, I got to go back to the song thing. You want me to tell me how. Tell you how old I am? I just turned 71.
David Cross
Oh, wow. Good for you.
Tony Shalhoub
Yeah, I'm still alive.
David Cross
Yeah, you look good.
Tony Shalhoub
Well, I mean, like, not like I did when I was 61, but whatever.
David Cross
No, you. You definitely lose it from 61 to 71.
Tony Shalhoub
Big time. Don't tell.
David Cross
Yeah, you look hot. You look like you're ready to go. Do you club? Do you go clubbing? Are you a club kid? Are you a club kid?
Tony Shalhoub
I. I don't. I have a club foot. Does that count?
David Cross
No, no, it doesn't, Tony.
Tony Shalhoub
So we're never going to get back to the. That's offensive probably to some people that I said that. Let's. Whatever. I'll take. I'll take the heat on that one.
David Cross
The club foot demographic. Cancel their subscription.
Tony Shalhoub
But I'm not a clubber. No, that's a word I just, just learned today, actually.
David Cross
Are you. You're not a clubber, you're not a club. Were you a landlubber?
Tony Shalhoub
I'm a grandfather. Does that count?
David Cross
I mean, it counts for some things, but not in the definition.
Tony Shalhoub
Not in your world.
David Cross
No.
Tony Shalhoub
But you're a father now, right? So eventually, before, hopefully before you kick, you'll be a grandfather.
David Cross
Well, we'll see, you know.
Tony Shalhoub
How many do you have, by the way?
David Cross
Just one.
Tony Shalhoub
Oh, just the one.
David Cross
Yeah. And you know, how's that going? It's great. I mean, it really is. She's. All. The cliches and the trite maxims are all true. They're all true. The, the thing about, you know, every day is a year and every year is a day, you know, or I'm, you know, paraphrasing that one. But it, it's. Yeah. Like you have a. All the three day weekend where it's just her and I and you're just exhausted at the end of it. But then, you know, you. Her birthday's coming up, you're like, wait, didn't we just do this? How do you. You know. And she's really starting to exponentially increase the individuating and the personality that, you know, has slowly but surely been there is like kind of ramping up a double speed. You know what I mean? And sure. And it's cool. She's a good kid. And the toughest thing is values and teaching her. And my wife and I share, for the most part, in great part, the same values. And I think growing up in Brooklyn is tremendously helpful. The fact that she's going to the Same school, knows all the same kids, but also. And she, you know, I tell her this constantly. Like, she's. She really has the best of both worlds because she has this. The city. And then, you know, we have her place upstate in the woods in the very rural area. That's beautiful. But she gets to have that. And, you know, now that she's in school, there's. We're. We're up there less, unfortunately, but I'm registered to vote there. I'll go up on Monday night so I can vote Tuesday, come back home and.
Tony Shalhoub
Great.
David Cross
And so that has been. You know, she's got an appreciation, and she does have a true appreciation for all of those things. And then. Which also. She goes to Atlanta a lot. I'm from Atlanta, most of my family.
Tony Shalhoub
You're from Atlanta?
David Cross
Yeah. Yeah.
Tony Shalhoub
I have two sisters that live in.
David Cross
Atlanta and a lot. So my sister, sister in law, my mom all live in this house in this cul de sac, which, even though it's Atlanta, it's in the city, but it feels very suburban, which Atlanta does. I mean, it's got really cool neighborhoods, but I mean, it feels like a big suburb, you know?
Tony Shalhoub
Yeah.
David Cross
And so she. And she loves going down there. She was just down there with. With my wife helping canvas for Harris and a whole bunch of women, you know, going out there and. And she met Stacey Abrams.
Tony Shalhoub
Wow.
David Cross
Yeah. And so. But her. When she's down there, all the other kids in the cul de sac are boys, and they range from about 6 to 10. And she's. She'll be 8 soon, so she's right in the middle. They're all boys, and she, you know, she'll keep right up with them and she'll get pizza knees and she'll just bounce right up and she loves it. And she can hang out till it's dark. And it's a cul de sac in a suburb, you know, and so she knows every aspect of American life.
Tony Shalhoub
Yeah.
David Cross
And that's really cool. And I think it's really helped. That wasn't the design, of course. I just think it has really helped to round her out and to appreciate those things because they're completely diametrically opposed. You know, like, everyone in that cul de sac is white. You know, upstate is mostly white. Brooklyn is, you know, she's in the minority in her school, and she's just.
Tony Shalhoub
Love it.
David Cross
Traveling through all that constantly and.
Tony Shalhoub
Yeah. Navigating all of that.
David Cross
Yeah. And it's. It's. But it's not even. She's not Coming into it, it's not a foreign thing and it never will be because that's what she knows. And so whatever happens from this point on, I mean, she's well equipped to, you know, not be thrown by anything. So.
Tony Shalhoub
Yeah, love that.
David Cross
Yeah. You know, lucky little, rich, spoiled, you know. Yeah, no, she's, she's a good kid. She's, she's really, you know, there's a lot of time left and we're gonna have to get to deal with the emotional preteen. I have teenage years.
Tony Shalhoub
And the teenage years are.
David Cross
Yeah, it's gonna be challenging. I know. And she's already got a, a big personality and she even displayed kind of manipulation at an early age, you know, where you can, you know exactly what's going on.
Tony Shalhoub
They'll work. Yeah.
David Cross
Oh, yeah. And kids are great. I mean, I just, I love hanging out with her and her friends and I'll volunteer in school too. And it's just such a great, cool age because I know it's going to end and other unfortunate problems are going to introduce themselves.
Tony Shalhoub
Encroaches and then you're.
David Cross
Yeah. And our big, our big concern is, you know, social media and stuff like that. And we've been talking to her about it for quite a bit, you know, so that it, hopefully she gets it, you know, but she's, man, she is strong willed. Like, not in a good way, you know, but not in a good way.
Tony Shalhoub
But that will serve her. I had one of those and it really was very challenging. But now as we look back, we see how that strain in her has really helped her in her adult life. Yeah, I mean that's, she's an advocate for herself and she doesn't take any shit, you know, and she, she's a, she's got a good, you know, kind of radar and she's, she's got a spine. So I think especially for, and now for women, it's super important.
David Cross
Yeah, I mean, I, I do see that, but I, I just know it's gonna be, it's gonna be difficult, but. Yeah, I think it will serve her well. But she really is like, gonna be hell on you.
Tony Shalhoub
Yeah.
David Cross
Crazy stubborn.
Tony Shalhoub
Tell me about it.
David Cross
Yeah.
Tony Shalhoub
Yeah.
David Cross
Well, we'll see, we'll see. But, yeah, I mean, it's, but that can.
Tony Shalhoub
See what I'm saying is though, that, that can translate later into being, you know, committed and single minded and, you know, I think it was oriented and unswervable and that, yeah. Is actually a quality you want them to carry.
David Cross
Yeah. We just got to Deal with the next 10, 11 years.
Tony Shalhoub
You got to just deal with the incoming.
David Cross
Yeah.
Tony Shalhoub
You're on the receiving end.
David Cross
No, we're aware. We. We. We know. Yeah. Yeah. But. Yes, I. I do. That is something I think about. Like, all this stuff we're. We're starting to deal with that we will be dealing with in the future. We'll all, I think, go to Server. Well, yes, I agree. I wouldn't mind. Just flash forward to graduation.
Emma Foley
All right.
David Cross
See you later. You're a smart, good kid. Well, don't call for money.
Tony Shalhoub
Yeah. These are. I have to say, these are lovely coasters you have here. Oh, thank you. They're glass tiles.
David Cross
Yep.
Tony Shalhoub
They classy.
David Cross
Look like, repurposed. See, this was probably a. Yeah, look. See the. What do you call it? The grout. So they probably. Oh, you know what they were. Here you go. These were samples.
Tony Shalhoub
Samples.
David Cross
These were mosaic or, you know, glass tile samples. And somebody just plopped a little thing on them little feet and made them feet. Yeah. It's repurposing.
Tony Shalhoub
Very, very nice.
David Cross
Yeah. And it. And it goes with just about anything. You know, a chilled glass of Chablis.
Tony Shalhoub
Yeah.
David Cross
You know, a Moscow Mule. A. A dark beer, possibly a. Yeah, like a pumpkin ale. Yeah. A stout. A. Just a thing of SAP that. Yeah. You know, big thing. If you want a big thing of SAP, as a prank, like, let's. You know, let's try to drink this. You know, be fun. Probably children's Tylenol. You know, go with that.
Tony Shalhoub
Maybe a nice glass of Nyquil.
David Cross
A nice glass of Nyquil.
Tony Shalhoub
Because you could put that on the green one.
David Cross
Have a nice glass of Nyquil. Before you go to the bed and go to sleep. Why don't you go in and if you're sniffly, have a nice glass of Nyquil.
Tony Shalhoub
A little. A little.
David Cross
A little. You can warm it up.
Tony Shalhoub
Yes. You don't have any Nyquil, do you, Andy?
David Cross
No. I mean, I guess not. Emma. Emma, for sake, Emma.
Tony Shalhoub
Dayquil will be all right, too, I guess.
David Cross
What the. What are you doing? What are you. Why aren't you here? I heard my name. No, but why aren't you here? I know why you're here now, but why aren't you here? Why did I have to yell for you? Because Chris is engineering.
Tony Shalhoub
I'm here.
David Cross
Do you need something? Yeah. Nyquil.
Tony Shalhoub
Okay.
David Cross
Can we get some Nyquil? Well, don't make Emma do it. If you're the engineer, I'm surprised you don't know. Wait. I'm so sorry. I am used to Chris, this is not. This has no reflection on you. I didn't even know you were here. Emma and I have established a relationship. Professional relationship. And she Googles things for me. She gets things for me. Did you pick up my dry cleaning? Okay, cool. Also, did I get bumped up on that leg from Phoenix to Boise that I have to check on? Emma. Oh, okay. And I don't. I haven't really. I feel like Chris and myself have been just sort of thrown into the fire on this. On this episode.
Tony Shalhoub
Yeah, that's probably my fault.
David Cross
What? See, but today, really, I'm today's Emma. Okay. How do you feel about that? I feel great about that. How do you feel about that? You just don't want to be in here. What are you doing? Are you playing Tetris? Wow, kids today.
Tony Shalhoub
You're getting your money's worth. David.
David Cross
I mean it's. It's. And I may have to fire myself.
Tony Shalhoub
Yeah, wouldn't be the first time.
David Cross
It would not be the first time. No, that's right. I used to. I used to be the head of Deutsche bank and I was. I made a mess of it.
Tony Shalhoub
You shut yourself.
David Cross
I mean it was one of those things. I should qualify this. I knew that I was going to be fired unless I fired myself. But I got a nice severance package. I got a two week salary and some. Those beef sticks. Snacky Chomps. Yeah. Can we find out about if they'll sponsor the show Chomps? Yeah. After I finish my game of catch up. Okay.
Tony Shalhoub
And nyquil.
David Cross
And nyquil, please. Thank you. All right. Tony Shalhoub, do you want to. Is there other. Anything else you want to bring up? Promote? Pitch? Talk about? It is Tony Shalhoub.
Tony Shalhoub
Yes, it used to be. Yes, it is.
David Cross
Okay. Still.
Tony Shalhoub
What else should I talk about?
David Cross
Do you want to talk about men in black 2 could do you want to talk about Barry Levinson?
Tony Shalhoub
Barry Sonnenfeld.
David Cross
Barry Sonnenfeld, right.
Tony Shalhoub
I'd like to talk about. But I've never worked with him.
David Cross
No. No. That must happen to Barry a lot.
Tony Shalhoub
Yeah, I'm afraid it does. But I did.
David Cross
But I would like to talk about Barry Levinson.
Tony Shalhoub
I. I thought that was one of the.
David Cross
It was. It was a. It was a bizarre experience for me.
Tony Shalhoub
Was it?
David Cross
Yeah. Although I did one of the like just dumbest. Dumb isn't even a. The right word. It was. I mean it was dumb, but it was also just so irresponsible and unintentionally. But. So I shot. For the first one. I shot that scene in the Morgue.
Tony Shalhoub
Yeah.
David Cross
And all the mosquitoes come out. I get the ray, whatever. And then you cut to me up on the goo and the ceiling. Those two scenes were shot about, I want to say, five weeks apart.
Tony Shalhoub
Really.
David Cross
And I shot that first scene and they were going to get. They were going to get to it, but they didn't, they didn't make the day. So they were going to bring me back. And I completely forgot about it.
Tony Shalhoub
Forgot.
David Cross
Totally. You know, weeks go by, weeks go by. And then I. At some point I got a haircut because it was getting.
Tony Shalhoub
No.
David Cross
Yeah, yeah. And Barry Sonnenfeld like specifically asked me to grow my hair out. He asked me to grow my hair up. I was like, okay. I just totally space forgot that the whole project even existed. And I knew I had to go shoot. And I was talking to my then girlfriend, Mary Lynn Rice Cub on the phone and she mentioned something and whatever it was, little domino effect triggered. And I realized, oh my God. Oh my God. Oh no. Oh no. She's like, what? What's going on? I was like, I got a. I got my head shaped and I gotta. So they had to bring in Rick Baker. Yeah. And he was not happy.
Emma Foley
No one understood it.
David Cross
And I get it. I totally get it. Here's this kid, like, what's wrong with you? You know what the. Is wrong with you? And they had a. The guy, this, you know, award winning special effects makeup guy had to spend half a day just putting my. Getting my hair to the other thing so they could put me in goo. Everybody was pissed for. For good reason. And I just felt I could, I couldn't have felt stupider. I've just felt so stupid.
Tony Shalhoub
Is that why you weren't in men in black 2?
David Cross
Is that I wasn't Men in Black.
Tony Shalhoub
Men in black 3 too.
David Cross
I was not in.
Tony Shalhoub
I was not Men in Black three.
David Cross
I was in two Reprieve. Which is. This is also a somewhat interesting anecdote. But I, you know, we had the dialogue, I had the character and we got to the set and. And Barry is like, you know what? I think you should be, you should be the same guy you were. And I was like, okay, what? Because I had this character for him and all this stuff and he's like, yeah, you should be the same guy from the morgue, but now you work in a video store, Right? Okay. But didn't that guy die? I thought he died. He got out of it. Okay. Yeah.
Tony Shalhoub
Anything else?
David Cross
And, and then we. So I had to redo some, rethink it, which was not difficult. And. And then. But one cool thing is I improvised this some stuff and it made the movie. So that was cool. I was happy about that. And I've worked with him, you know, I've worked with him on other projects and I love Barry and he's been very, very supportive of my standup as well.
Tony Shalhoub
He's great.
David Cross
He will reach out and say, I saw this special. It was great. Or what's his wife is sugar or something? Or what's his bunny or his wife's name is interesting. Yeah, it's like. Is it like sweetener? Like Stevia, Sugar on the raw.
Tony Shalhoub
That's it. It's stevia.
David Cross
Honey Bunny. Bad Bunny. Is he married to Bad Bunny?
Tony Shalhoub
No. No.
David Cross
Chris, look up Barry Sonnenfeld, wife, Bad Bunny, question mark. All right, Barry, let me know. Jesus, Tony. I end every episode with a question from my daughter, who's 7. And you could answer any way you.
Tony Shalhoub
See first, before I do that, I'd like to answer the song question.
David Cross
Oh, yeah, of course.
Tony Shalhoub
Well, I thought a lot about it. Now I'm sort of. I'm kind of splintering off of Dylan to the band, who was his band, and I think the Weight. The song. The Weight. Love that song.
David Cross
Okay, there you go. All right, America.
Tony Shalhoub
There it is.
David Cross
And parts of Canada. The Weight by the band.
Tony Shalhoub
Not wait, by the way. That's.
David Cross
No, just wait. Yeah, by Robbie, Rob. And not ro R O B Y Robertson. And not R O B B E E R R. Not S E N.
Tony Shalhoub
S O N. Yeah, late. Great.
David Cross
Okay, those are jokes. Oh, here we go.
Tony Shalhoub
So what is. Is this for your daughter now? Is that.
David Cross
Yeah, I'll ask her.
Emma Foley
Either she'll say, hey, that's a good.
David Cross
Question for your podcast. Or I'll ask her, hey, I need a couple questions. I got some. Some recordings coming up. Will you give me some questions to ask? So this is today's question for Tony. Why does a fruit fly only live for a day? Why does a fruit fly only live for a day? Marlo would love to know.
Tony Shalhoub
Well, I think everyone knows the answer to that question.
David Cross
Well, she clearly does. Unless you think she's toying with you. But she's seven.
Tony Shalhoub
Well, I thought it was more of a challenge, like she knows, but she doesn't think I know. Is that what's going on here, man?
David Cross
You're really got some issues. You need to bring this up at your next.
Tony Shalhoub
My issues have issues.
David Cross
This seven year old is fucking with me.
Tony Shalhoub
Okay, so, yeah, so the reason is they move very quickly and the wings Beat faster than a hummingbird's wings. But that is incredibly taxing. It's exhausting.
David Cross
Apparently, it'll kill you after a day of it.
Tony Shalhoub
Exactly. So all of that flying and wing beating kills them. Their little, tiny, tiny hearts cannot withstand all of that because they're always on the move.
David Cross
And they hit the ground running when they're bored.
Tony Shalhoub
That's right. They're like. They're off. But that's another reason why they're so hard to kill, hard to destroy.
David Cross
Unless you.
Tony Shalhoub
Vinegar and dish soap.
David Cross
I mean, if you know that they will die of a peaceful old age if you just leave them alone for a few hours. It seems a little cruel to try to kill him.
Tony Shalhoub
Yeah.
David Cross
Yeah.
Tony Shalhoub
But so also, the other reason that they don't live long is that they tend to go after unwashed fruit.
David Cross
Fruit that's, you know, doesn't have soap.
Tony Shalhoub
On it, covered with insecticide and.
David Cross
Oh, I see.
Tony Shalhoub
There's basically like a suicide mission for them. Well, are those answers going to.
David Cross
I think they're fine. Again, I don't correct or pass judgment or anything. It's. That's her question. You answer it however you see fit.
Tony Shalhoub
And I come at this without. With absolutely no scientific background at all.
David Cross
Okay.
Tony Shalhoub
I failed at science in school, so.
David Cross
Yeah, I don't remember probably. I'm sure I didn't do very well. I'm sure I didn't. I'm gonna.
Tony Shalhoub
I would. I would. I would. I would put my money on that.
David Cross
Yeah. Okay. After. After our brief conversation. All right, Tony Shalhoub, thank you very much for coming in.
Tony Shalhoub
Are we done?
David Cross
Yeah, we're done.
Tony Shalhoub
Oh, my God.
David Cross
Yeah, I got shit to do that was. I'm only in town for. How long are your podcasts?
Tony Shalhoub
I think there are six episodes, and they're a little under an hour each, but.
David Cross
Have you done a discussion one like this?
Tony Shalhoub
No.
David Cross
Oh, okay.
Tony Shalhoub
I'm doing Morning Joe tomorrow, though, to talk about. I think with Edie and with John.
David Cross
I did. What was the name of it? It was really cool. One of those. They turned it into a movie with Julia Roberts and I can't remember who else, but what's it called, but it was with Katherine Keener. Keener and. Gosh, who else? Was it Mark Ruffalo? I. I can't remember, but I did one of those. Oh, I did two of them, actually. You know, limited series, like radio play things, and. Yeah, it was great. It was really cool. It was really enjoyable to do and. Enjoyable to listen to.
Tony Shalhoub
Yeah, I'll listen to what's it called? I can't remember.
David Cross
It was.
Tony Shalhoub
I'll Google it.
Emma Foley
It was pre Covid.
David Cross
Both of these.
Tony Shalhoub
Oh, pre Covid.
David Cross
Yeah. And there was one. There was one. The. The other one that I did was about Teachers lounge, and it was this. This, like, it was more comic.
Tony Shalhoub
Great.
David Cross
But it was all these people in a teacher's lounge.
Tony Shalhoub
Fantastic.
David Cross
Yeah, it was fun. Really enjoyable to do. Yeah.
Tony Shalhoub
Well, this was. This was delightful.
David Cross
Oh, good.
Tony Shalhoub
Thanks, Steve.
David Cross
Well, thanks for coming in.
Emma Foley
Sense is Working Overtime is a Headgum podcast created and hosted by me, David Cross. The show was edited by Katie Skelton and engineered by Nicole Lyons with supervising producer Emma Foley. Thanks to Demi Druchin for our show Art and Mark Rivers for our theme song. For more podcasts by headgum, visit headgum.com or wherever you listen to your favorite shows. Leave us a review on Apple Podcasts and maybe we'll read it on a future episode.
David Cross
I'm not gonna do that.
Emma Foley
Thanks for listening.
David Cross
That was a Headgum podcast.
Host: David Cross
Guest: Tony Shalhoub
Release Date: November 7, 2024
The episode kicks off with a lighthearted exchange as David and Tony choose between red and blue chairs, setting the tone for their casual and humorous conversation.
Notable Quote:
Tony Shalhoub (00:34): "Can I have the blue one?"
Tony shares his roots from Green Bay, Wisconsin, highlighting his deep connection to the community and the Green Bay Packers. He reminisces about growing up there, maintaining season tickets passed down from his father, and his ongoing ties to family and friends despite moving away at 19.
Notable Quotes:
Tony Shalhoub (01:46): "I’m from Green Bay, Wisconsin."
David Cross (02:35): "We spent our summers growing up, you know, there."
Tony discusses his move from Los Angeles to Manhattan eight years ago, driven by his family's relocation and work commitments in New York. He contrasts the vibrant life in Manhattan with his previous experiences in LA, emphasizing his family's preference for the East Coast.
Notable Quote:
Tony Shalhoub (03:10): "I live in Manhattan. I was in LA for a long time, but then our kids grew up, moved East. My wife’s from New York, so we decided to move back and we’re loving it."
The conversation shifts to the Green Bay Packers, with Tony expressing pride in the team’s unique ownership structure—owned by the community. They discuss Lambeau Field's integration into the residential area, contrasting it with other major stadiums located in downtown areas.
Notable Quotes:
Tony Shalhoub (05:00): "But now I think now it's probably up to a little over a hundred thousand. Still not big, but, you know, not as big as Madison or Milwaukee."
David Cross (06:01): "That's how it should be, I think."
Tony delves into his recent podcast inspired by Rick Dresser’s novel "It Happened Here," paralleling Sinclair Lewis’s "It Can’t Happen Here." The podcast explores a dystopian future where fascism takes hold, media becomes state-controlled, and societal divisions deepen. Tony and David discuss the themes of the novel, the potential real-world implications, and the anxiety surrounding the upcoming election.
Notable Quotes:
Tony Shalhoub (14:31): "It's about a family that's divided. And the story nods... done with... with a real, real genuine concern about, you know, the potential where we might be heading."
David Cross (16:37): "I'm prepping too for the, you know, the third World War, so I'm a prepper."
David shares his experiences touring across the United States, noting the prevalence of Trump signs and their aggressive messaging compared to more subdued Democratic signs. They discuss the implications of such displays on public sentiment and the overall political climate.
Notable Quotes:
David Cross (25:03): "There's like... There's... They’re so angry and... juvenile as well."
Tony Shalhoub (27:16): "What promise did he promise was that he'd come back? I think that's what."
Tony recounts his challenging experience filming "Men in Black," particularly with director Barry Sonnenfeld. He describes forgetting key scenes due to distractions, leading to frustrating reshoots and humorous mishaps. The discussion highlights the unpredictability of acting careers and the importance of adaptability.
Notable Quotes:
David Cross (60:03): "And Barry is like, you know what? I think you should be, you should be the same guy you were."
Tony Shalhoub (61:16): "Why. Why else would I bring it up?"
David opens up about his family life, particularly his relationship with his daughter. He discusses the balance of raising a strong-willed child in diverse environments, managing the influence of social media, and preparing for the inevitable challenges of her teenage years. Tony offers insights from his own experiences, emphasizing resilience and advocacy.
Notable Quotes:
David Cross (51:20): "She's a good kid. She's... her birthday's coming up, you're like, wait, didn't we just do this?"
Tony Shalhoub (53:25): "She's got a good... a good radar and she's got a spine."
The hosts engage in a playful discussion about favorite songs, demonstrating their differing tastes and generational gaps. This segment reveals their personalities and adds a humorous layer to the conversation. They also address a playful question from David’s daughter about why fruit flies only live for a day, showcasing their camaraderie and wit.
Notable Quotes:
Tony Shalhoub (40:35): "Wow, my favorite song. That's a hard one."
David Cross (66:31): "Why does a fruit fly only live for a day?"
The episode wraps up with final thoughts, acknowledgments, and a humorous exchange about podcast editing and sponsorships. David and Tony reflect on the episode's content, express gratitude for each other's company, and sign off with laughter, leaving listeners entertained and engaged.
Notable Quotes:
David Cross (69:00): "After our brief conversation."
Tony Shalhoub (69:38): "This was delightful."
Tony Shalhoub’s Deep Roots: His upbringing in Green Bay and connection to the Packers shape his identity and values.
Podcast Insights: Tony’s work on a dystopian podcast raises awareness about societal divisions and the fragility of democracy.
Political Climate: The hosts highlight the intense political atmosphere in America, emphasizing the emotional toll of election season.
Family and Parenting: Both David and Tony share personal experiences, offering relatable insights into raising children amidst societal challenges.
Entertainment Anecdotes: Tony’s stories from his acting career add a humorous and humanizing element to the conversation.
Generational Humor: Their playful banter about music and family questions underscores the show's engaging and personable format.
This episode of "Senses Working Overtime" masterfully blends personal anecdotes, insightful discussions on societal issues, and light-hearted humor. Tony Shalhoub’s candid revelations about his background, career, and recent projects provide a rich and engaging narrative, while David Cross’s observations on current events add depth to the conversation. The dynamic between the hosts ensures a seamless flow, making the episode both informative and entertaining for listeners.
Note: Advertisements and non-content sections were omitted to focus solely on the meaningful discussions and interactions between David Cross and Tony Shalhoub.