Tara Beall-Gomes is a certified CT and FL therapist who founded Grit and Grace Recovery, which focuses on betrayal trauma, sex, and porn addiction. Together with Dr. Rob she highlights key differences between simple lies and manipulative gaslighting tactics, the impact that gaslighting has on a partnership, and the importance of empowering a gaslit partner after years of not knowing whether they can trust themselves.

TAKEAWAYS:

[4:11] What is gaslighting from a therapist's perspective?

[6:13] Gaslighting affects more than your partnership.

[7:44] Patterns in gaslighting, and why they appear.

[12:35] Simple lies or real gaslighting tactics?

[15:01] Common couples gaslighting patterns in Tara’s office.

[20:31] Empowering a gaslit partner.

[23:04] Defining the ‘victim’ and the ‘problem’.

[26:33] Learning to trust your gut.

RESOURCES:

Sex and Relationship Healing

@RobWeissMSW

Sex Addiction 101

Seeking Integrity

Free Sexual Addiction Screening Assessment

Partner Sexuality Survey

Tara Beall-Gomes

Seeking Integrity Podcasts are produced in partnership with Podfly Productions.

QUOTES:

“Once we understand what something means, we can understand how we can change those behaviors in order to be construction instead of destructive.”
“Chances are, your gaslighting tactics are not just being used in your coupleship, but other areas of your life too.”
“Staying in the victim role is not going to contribute to optimal healing.”