Tara Beall-Gomes and Dr. Rob continue their conversation about next-level gaslighting, including red flag behaviors in therapy, role-playing dialogues that highlight gaslighting language, and the role that a therapist can play in finding closure after years of betrayal. Tara also offers encouragement to a partner that is working to regain their spouses trust, and resources for anyone who is unable to pay for extensive therapy.

TAKEAWAYS:

[1:25] Now he’s gaslighting our therapist?

[3:48] Is gaslighting abusive?

[5:27] Role-play examples of gaslighting, projecting, and controlling.

[10:58] Shame and empathy with rigorous honesty.

[15:43] “I knew all along.” Now what?

[21:37] I can’t believe anything my spouse says.

[25:25] Identifying the core values that drive our reactions.

[32:55] The role of your therapist in finding closure.

[34:50] Red flags in therapy behavior.

[38:52] Next steps when an addict has support and you don’t.

[43:31] How can a partner ever trust again?

[46:15] Encouragement and free resources.

RESOURCES:

Sex and Relationship Healing

@RobWeissMSW

Sex Addiction 101

Seeking Integrity

Free Sexual Addiction Screening Assessment

Partner Sexuality Survey

Tara Beall-Gomes

Seeking Integrity Podcasts are produced in partnership with Podfly Productions.

QUOTES:

“Gaslighting is relational and strategic, while lying is an isolated behavior.”
“Closure is incredibly important in about to find peace, but it doesn’t have to mean agreement.”
“You can’t derail your own trauma work and recovery when dealing with your partner.”
“If you want to trust again, you have to trust yourself first.”
“You are enough, and you can do this.”