Podcast
Sexual Craftsmanship
Hosted by Sarah L. Martin · EN
Sexual Craftsmanship is the podcast for men in STEM who struggle with dating, sex, and relationships. If you’ve ever suspected you’re being lied to about how dating and sex work, if you’re caught up in analysis paralysis and wish you knew what to do to move forward, or if you just want to start having awesome sex already, you’re in the right place. No experience necessary! Goodbye frustration and uncertainty, hello fun and pleasure! Your host, Certified Sex Coach, sociologist, and total nerd Sarah Martin is here to bust myths, share high-quality, evidence-based information, and offer up actionable steps to help you live your best sex life NOW. Download a free guide to Avoiding the Friendzone for good at www.sexualcraftsmanship.com/friendzone
10episodes
Episodes
Newest firstAll episodes
Should You Play Hard to Get?
Jan 7, 202100:19:42Tap to summarizeThere are many assumptions made in the realm of sex and relationships - I'm talking the idea of "common sense" or advice that just "feels true" when you hear it. We're all susceptible to familiar things seeming "right."One such truism is the idea that playing hard to get will help you in dating and sex. So, will it? On today's episode, we'll cover:Dispelling the myth that playing hard to get is something only women doLook at the downstream effects of playing hard to get in your relationshipsCover a number of questions to ask yourself when deciding whether to play hard to getSome alternatives, if you decide playing hard to get isn't for youThe audio for today's podcast was taken from a recent YouTube Livestream. Everyday in January, I'm going live looking at a trope or truism and applying some critical thinking. The aim is to bust myths, drop some counter-intuitive knowledge, and spend the first month of the year equipping you to have your best ever sex and relationship life in 2021.Want to check out the videos? That brings us to another important announcement! The Sexual Craftsmanship podcast is now brought to you by DignifiedHedonist.com, the new home for the podcast and all of my work. Check it out! And, that means our name on YouTube has changed - you can find the series of myth-busting counter-intuition by searching for Dignified Hedonist.Worried you might be making mistakes when it comes to sex and relationships? I got you. Sign up to get a regular dose of unconventional, counter-intuitive sex and relationship advice: https://dignifiedhedonist.com/counter-intuitive/If you want to get involved with the podcast community and have input into upcoming episodes, head over to our subreddit: https://www.reddit.com/r/SexualCraftsmanshipCurious what it’s like to learn with me? Check out my FREE course on How to Avoid the Friendzone for Good. Go to: avoidthefriendzone.com Connect with us online! Website: https://dignifiedhedonist.com YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC0o8MkhxcIwoSyTeM3AQ7lg Support the Podcast, Become a Member: https://dignifiedhedonist.com/the-essentials
Transcribe →Her Side Interview with Sarah
Dec 31, 202000:52:31Tap to summarizeWith pleasure, we're bringing you something special for the last episode of 2020.As with every Her Side interview, this episode features the experience of a woman who dates men in STEM. This is your opportunity to catch a glimpse from the other side. What resonates with you? What can you take from this story to apply in your own life?Unlike other Her Side episodes, you likely know something about today's guest. With the help of special guest host Kincaid McMinn, we'll meet the host of the Sexual Craftsmanship podcast, Sarah Martin. Sarah is a 35 year old woman who has a wide variety of experiences when it comes to dating, sex, and relationships. Getting real, Sarah shares about her struggles, especially as a young person who experienced bullying for many years. She explains how it is that she became the initiator in most of her relationships and what, exactly, it is that she loves about men in STEM. Sarah offers insight into just what becomes possible when you are willing to break the mold and focus on communication as THE skill in getting to experience the sex you want in life.Sarah ends with her New Years message for listeners of the podcast. Thank you for spending some of your 2020 with us here. Wishing you a 2021 filled with pleasure and joy!Special thanks to Certified Sex Coach Kincaid McMinn for being such a fucking awesome guest host. You can learn more about Kincaid on Facebook and Instagram @RoyalLoveCoach or at https://www.royallovecoach.comIf you want to get involved with the Sexual Craftsmanship community and have input into upcoming episodes, head over to the Sexual Craftsmanship subreddit: https://www.reddit.com/r/SexualCraftsmanship/Curious what it’s like to learn with me? Check out my FREE course on How to Avoid the Friendzone for Good. Go to: avoidthefriendzone.comConnect with Sexual Craftsmanship online! Website: https://sexualcraftsmanship.comYouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC0o8MkhxcIwoSyTeM3AQ7lgSupport the podcast on Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/SarahMartin
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Explaining ASD to Neurotypicals In Sex and Relationships
Dec 17, 202000:41:58Tap to summarizeTo be frank, communication can be really challenging between people with different neurotypes and nowhere is that more true than within the intimate sphere of dating, sex, and relationships.Recently, I was invited to speak to the wonderful women at Village Virago to answer their questions about relationships with men on the spectrum. I am so thrilled to share this conversation with you today.Together with Certified Sex Coach AJ Locashio, we explore topics like:The differentiating between narcissism and a genuine lack of understandingHow to communicate about feelings with an autistic partnerThe importance explicit communicationThe intersection of gender and neurotype and how this can impact communicationCommon frustrations experienced by autistic partners in relationship with neurotypical peopleYou can learn more about AJ by visiting her website (https://mamapistachio.com) and her Instagram (https://www.instagram.com/themamapistachio). And, you can find Village Virago at bit.ly/villagevirago If you want to get involved with the Sexual Craftsmanship community and have input into upcoming episodes, head over to the Sexual Craftsmanship subreddit: https://www.reddit.com/r/SexualCraftsmanship/Curious what it’s like to learn with me? Check out my FREE course on How to Avoid the Friendzone for Good. Go to: avoidthefriendzone.comConnect with Sexual Craftsmanship online! Website: https://sexualcraftsmanship.comYouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC0o8MkhxcIwoSyTeM3AQ7lgSupport the podcast on Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/SarahMartin
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How to Spot Good Sex Advice
Dec 10, 202001:04:56Tap to summarizeThe world as we know it right now is experiencing a boom in information. For men who struggle with sex and relationships, there is no shortage of people and philosophies offering solutions to that problem.But, as with all things, not all support is created equal. On this topic, there's no one quite like Dave Booda to share about the journey through many different approaches to sex and relationships as a man living in today's world.In today's episode, we cover:Pickup Artists, both the positives and negatives of this communityNeo Tantra, and how similar it is to PUA, once you scratch beneath the surfaceMen's Rights Activists, and how they're surprisingly similar to feminists in some waysThe challenges to creating big changes in the way the world approaches sex and relationshipsThe importance of creating alternatives that are objectively better than the bullshit if we want anything to changeTremendous thanks to Dave Booda for popping in to the Sexual Craftsmanship podcast! Dave Booda is a writer, musician and social entrepreneur. He’s the co-founder of IntimacyFest and has led 250+ workshops in the San Diego area on connection, touch and relationships. He has published over 200 essays for boodaism.com, and has been published in countless major online publications. If you want to get involved with the Sexual Craftsmanship community and have input into upcoming episodes, head over to the Sexual Craftsmanship subreddit: https://www.reddit.com/r/SexualCraftsmanship/Curious what it’s like to learn with me? Check out my FREE course on How to Avoid the Friendzone for Good. Go to: avoidthefriendzone.comConnect with Sexual Craftsmanship online! Website: https://sexualcraftsmanship.comYouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC0o8MkhxcIwoSyTeM3AQ7lgSupport the podcast on Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/SarahMartin
Transcribe →Dignified Hedonism AMA
Dec 3, 202000:18:59Tap to summarizeThere's a world of difference between theory and practice. Recently, I shared the Dignified Hedonist framework for the first time, and people had questions.It's one thing to do an assessment. It's another thing to integrate this practice into your life. Listen to hear questions asked by others just like you about how a Dignified Hedonist could approach several real life situations.Today, you'll discover:If Asking Audaciously is really just a numbers gameIf dating is worth it when you run the risk of hurting someoneOn the red, yellow, green color scale, is red positive and green negativeWhat to do if you feel too dominant in your relationshipHow being led by desire empowers others to do the sameSo, what do you think? Would you like to see Q&A episodes become a regular feature on the podcast? Let me know over in the Sexual Craftsmanship: https://www.reddit.com/r/SexualCraftsmanship/Also, I'm planning a watch party / body language primer in the next couples of days - would you like to join? Reddit is the place to let me know, too!Curious what it’s like to learn with me? Check out my FREE course on How to Avoid the Friendzone for Good. Go to: avoidthefriendzone.comConnect with Sexual Craftsmanship online! Website: https://sexualcraftsmanship.comYouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC0o8MkhxcIwoSyTeM3AQ7lgSupport the podcast on Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/SarahMartin
Transcribe →Her Side Interview with Mari
Nov 26, 202000:30:05Tap to summarizeAs the month draws to a close, it's time for the next episode of a recurring feature of the Sexual Craftsmanship podcast: Her Side interviews!Each Her Side interview features the experience of a woman who dates men in STEM. This is your opportunity to catch a glimpse from the other side. What resonates with you? What can you take from this story to apply in your own life?In this episode, we'll meet Mari, a 32-year-old woman from Finland who identifies as a huge nerd. She shares about the importance of communication to the experience of dating, sex, and relationships, and sings the praises of asking folks out by email.Mari shares the often overlooked perspective on what dating, sex, and relationships can be like for nerdy women. Often, the assumption made is that nerdier people are men, and so the struggle of nerds in the relationship space is a male struggle. In Mari's story, there's the opportunity to consider that perhaps these struggles are less to do with gender, and more to do with dominant modes of communication and norms in society around dating, sex, and relationships that aren't as compatible with nerdier people's preferences and desires.This is an excerpt from my extended interview with Mari. If you're curious to hear more, head over to Patreon - the extended and only roughly cut and edited Her Side interviews are available to Patrons only.If you want to get involved with the Sexual Craftsmanship community and have input into upcoming episodes, head over to the Sexual Craftsmanship subreddit: https://www.reddit.com/r/SexualCraftsmanship/Curious what it’s like to learn with me? Check out my FREE course on How to Avoid the Friendzone for Good. Go to: avoidthefriendzone.comConnect with Sexual Craftsmanship online! Website: https://sexualcraftsmanship.comYouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC0o8MkhxcIwoSyTeM3AQ7lgSupport the podcast on Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/SarahMartin
Transcribe →What is Dignified Hedonism?
Nov 19, 202000:27:25Tap to summarizeOn this International Men's Day, it's shocking how much men's dating, sex, and relationship advice is stuck in the stone age, regurgitating the same tactics that keep men stuck. The worst thing about this type of advice, the kind structured by rigid interpretations of gender roles and peppered with evolutionary psychobabble, is that it keeps men separated from deep pleasure and connection.It's not the only way. Far from it. What's more, an approach to sex and relationships that combines dignity and hedonism isn't just an alternative - it's better and more efficient.On November 17th, 2020, I gave a masterclass called The Secrets of Quiet Seduction, where I outlined the Dignified Hedonist approach to sex and relationships. This episode contains an excerpt from that masterclass.In this episode, you'll learn:The 3 pillars of Dignified HedonismThe 9 step strategy to bring Dignified Hedonism into your lifeA self-assessment, so that you can get an accurate picture of your current strengths and areas to focus on for developmentIf this episode has piqued your interest, you can watch the replay of the masterclass here: https://sexualcraftsmanship.com/dignified-hedonist/Enrollment in the Dignified Hedonist sex coaching membership for nerds, geeks, and introverts is now open, so if you want to take this work further, that is one way to do so.If you want to get involved with the Sexual Craftsmanship community and have input into upcoming episodes, head over to the Sexual Craftsmanship subreddit: https://www.reddit.com/r/SexualCraftsmanship/Curious what it’s like to learn with me? Check out my FREE course on How to Avoid the Friendzone for Good. Go to: avoidthefriendzone.comConnect with Sexual Craftsmanship online! Website: https://sexualcraftsmanship.comYouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC0o8MkhxcIwoSyTeM3AQ7lgSupport the podcast on Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/SarahMartin
Transcribe →The Secret to Awesome Sex and Relationships
Nov 12, 202000:20:02Tap to summarizeBefore going any further, yes, Kant was problematic in some respects. And, yes, he was very much an eccentric. He himself isn’t the secret or any sort of model for how to be an amazing lover.Instead, what Kant gives us in his moral philosophy is the essence of dignity in a really easy to understand way. And, if you wrap your mind around it, it is the single most powerful thing you can learn for your sex and relationship life.In this episode, we'll cover:The types of sex and relationship concerns this secret can help you addressThe two types of motivation to engage in sex and relationships, and which one is the antidote to anxiety and overthinkingHow to assess the motivation you have in approaching sex and relationshipsHow non-attachment to any specific outcome can set you freeYou can catch the replay of The Secrets of Quiet Seduction masterclass, which took place on November 17th, here: https://sexualcraftsmanship.com/dignified-hedonist/If you want to get involved with the Sexual Craftsmanship community and have input into upcoming episodes, head over to the Sexual Craftsmanship subreddit: https://www.reddit.com/r/SexualCraftsmanship/Curious what it’s like to learn with me? Check out my FREE course on How to Avoid the Friendzone for Good. Go to: avoidthefriendzone.comConnect with Sexual Craftsmanship online! Website: https://sexualcraftsmanship.comYouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC0o8MkhxcIwoSyTeM3AQ7lgSupport the podcast on Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/SarahMartin
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Open Relationships 101
Nov 5, 202000:59:43Tap to summarizeA listener wrote in with a fantastic question about open relationships:"I'd like to hear about long term relationships that also have open sexual relationships with others. My long term partner and I have been flirting with this idea but there are so many people who say it's a bad idea and a sign the relationship is ending..."Who better to help answer this question than Damien Diecke, head coach at School of Attraction. Damien is a life, business, and dating coach. He's been a guest speaker at live events in 18 different countries and is endlessly fascinated by human behavior. In addition to helping clients navigate open relationships, Damien is also in an open relationship.Together, we explore:Different types of open relationshipsWhat you need to consider before opening an existing relationshipThe highs and lows of open relatingThe importance of self-care and communication skills in open relationshipsTechniques to use to discover if open relationships are for youOn today's episode, we speak a little about transactional analysis. You can get a general overview on Wikipedia here: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Transactional_analysisYou can catch the replay of The Secrets of Quiet Seduction masterclass, which took place on November 17th, here: https://sexualcraftsmanship.com/dignified-hedonist/If you enjoyed getting to know Damien, be sure to check out his work at School of Attraction. Today, November 5th, you can catch a special episode featuring me on the School of Attraction podcast all about Dark Sexuality!Here's where you can hear more from School of Attraction:Podcast: https://www.buzzsprout.com/288898YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCaZJ1Cw-GTdVQs6UUBER-eAWebsite: https://schoolofattraction.com/If you want to get involved with the Sexual Craftsmanship community and have input into upcoming episodes, head over to the Sexual Craftsmanship subreddit: https://www.reddit.com/r/SexualCraftsmanship/Curious what it’s like to learn with me? Check out my FREE course on How to Avoid the Friendzone for Good. Go to: avoidthefriendzone.comConnect with Sexual Craftsmanship online! Website: https://sexualcraftsmanship.comYouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC0o8MkhxcIwoSyTeM3AQ7lgSupport the podcast on Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/SarahMartin
Transcribe →Her Side Interview with Polina
Oct 29, 202000:29:44Tap to summarizeWe've reached the end of another month, and you know what that means! It's time for the next episode of a recurring feature of the Sexual Craftsmanship podcast: Her Side interviews!Each Her Side interview features the experience of a woman who dates men in STEM. This is your opportunity to catch a glimpse from the other side. What resonates with you? What can you take from this story to apply in your own life?In this episode, we'll meet Polina, who grew up in Russia before moving to Western Europe. She shares with us about her journey through cultures and how dynamic sex and relationship values and beliefs can be. She started out totally uninterested in science guys, thanks in large part to associating men in STEM with her brother's friends, to discovering in her 20s and 30s that science peeps make fantastic partners. Polina reminds us that one of the best things we can do is to drop the generalities and stereotypes about men and women, and instead see individuals for who they are in their own right.This is an excerpt from my extended interview with Polina. If you're curious to hear more, head over to Patreon - the extended and only roughly cut and edited Her Side interviews are available to Patrons only.If you want to get involved with the Sexual Craftsmanship community and have input into upcoming episodes, head over to the Sexual Craftsmanship subreddit: https://www.reddit.com/r/SexualCraftsmanship/Curious what it’s like to learn with me? Check out my FREE course on How to Avoid the Friendzone for Good. Go to: avoidthefriendzone.comConnect with Sexual Craftsmanship online! Website: https://sexualcraftsmanship.comYouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC0o8MkhxcIwoSyTeM3AQ7lgSupport the podcast on Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/SarahMartin
Transcribe →