#492 Wait... Monogamous People Go to Sex Parties?

Summary

Podcast Summary: Shameless Sex #492

Episode Title: "Wait... Monogamous People Go to Sex Parties?"
Hosts: Amy Baldwin & April Lampert
Guest: Michael Hollis (Founder of The Play)
Release Date: June 30, 2026

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Episode Overview

In this engaging episode, Amy and April dive into the world of sex parties, focusing on the surprising prevalence of monogamous couples attending these events. Joined by Michael Hollis, the founder of The Play—an innovative, art-focused play party series in Los Angeles—they debunk the myths that sex parties are only for swingers or polyamorous folks. The discussion provides practical insight into modern sexuality, the diversity of play party attendees, and how these spaces nurture communication, vulnerability, and authentic connection—whether or not sex with others is on the menu.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Setting the Scene: Sex Parties Aren't What You Think

• Amy recaps her recent experience teaching on the first "Killing Kittens" cruise—an upscale, pleasure-centered, hedonistic Mediterranean cruise with both educational workshops and play spaces.
• She distinguishes that sex parties and sexually-themed retreats can draw a diverse crowd; not all are about partner swapping or open sex.

Quote:

"A lot of monogamous people go to sex parties... They just want to be in the energy or maybe they're exhibitionists or they just want to make new friends."
— Amy [06:40]

2. The Play: A Different Kind of Sex Party

• Michael Hollis introduces "The Play," which he co-founded with his wife. It combines sexuality with art, including performances and collaborative experiences like body painting, nude acro-yoga, and audience-participatory art pieces.
• Each event has a unique theme; for example, their Renaissance Faire-themed party included costumes and creative performances.

Quote:

"I wanted to create the intersection of art and sex. It started with 10 couples, each doing a performance, like nude acro yoga or turning someone's body into a canvas."
— Michael [32:32]

3. Who Goes to Play Parties? Emphasizing Monogamous Couples

• Approximately 30–40% of attending couples at The Play identify as monogamous; they may only engage with each other physically.
• Michael and Amy explore why monogamous folks are drawn to these spaces—chiefly authentic adult connection, shared vulnerability, curiosity, inspiration, and a celebratory environment free from judgment.

Quote:

"This is just the new adult thing... I think people are tired of bars and clubs. At play parties, you can connect without the distraction—it's about deeper connection."
— Michael [53:20]

4. Safety, Consent, and Boundaries

• The Play is unique in requiring STI testing and individual video interviews before attending, fostering a culture of health, consent, and inclusion.
• Events open with connection and consent exercises, including a "DIBS" (Desires, Intentions, Boundaries, Sexuality) prompt to normalize stating needs and limits.

Quote:

"We want people to get into the habit of saying their desires at a play party... And saying your desires out loud doesn't mean you want to do that with the person in front of you."
— Michael [41:34]

5. Dispelling Pressure and Performance

• Newcomers, especially monogamous couples, should come with no expectations beyond curiosity and communication.
• Play doesn’t have to be sexual—some attend just to watch, talk, dance, or enjoy the creative ambience.
• The diversity of bodies, sexual expressions, and experiences at play parties can be liberating and help individuals break out of performative, porn-influenced sexuality.
• Support roles like "harm reduction specialists" and a help desk ensure attendee wellbeing.

Quote:

"You may go and not play at all. Sometimes it’s just about seeing what's possible and experiencing freedom and expression, not just sex."
— Michael [62:13]

6. Noteworthy Moments

• Amy’s “Hot Husbanding” Anecdote [07:46–09:53]: Amy coins the term after facilitating a consensual encounter between her partner and another cruise attendee—turning the "hot wife" script on its head for women who enjoy knowing their male partners are desired by others.
• Real-Life DIBS Example [41:15]: Amy describes sharing a fantasy (being blindfolded and having her partner pick men to sensually touch her—not full penetration) with another party attendee as part of the DIBS exercise, illustrating open communication in action.
• Longest Game of Spin the Bottle [63:12, 77:29]: At one Play party, the group played an elaborate, hours-long spin the bottle—using it as an inclusive, low-pressure way for hesitant or monogamous newcomers to playfully engage.

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Timestamps for Key Segments

• [03:27] Amy explains the difference between sex-positive cruises and her retreats; introduction to the topic of monogamous people at sex parties.
• [23:30] Interview with Michael begins—founding of The Play, experiences at sex parties.
• [31:09] The sociology of play parties: art, performance, and connection.
• [39:01] Connection and consent exercises at The Play (DIBS: Desires, Intentions, Boundaries, Sexuality).
• [53:03] Discussion: prevalence and motivations of monogamous couples at sex parties.
• [62:13] Tips for first-timers, especially monogamous couples, on attending play parties.
• [70:48] Logistics: The application process, vetting, STI screening, Discord community, and upcoming events at The Play.
• [75:51] Where to find The Play online; what makes the experience unique.

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Notable Quotes with Attributions & Timestamps

• "A lot of monogamous people go to sex parties... They just want to be in the energy or maybe they're exhibitionists or they just want to make new friends."
  — Amy [06:40]

• "I wanted to create the intersection of art and sex... Each couple would do a performance. If you want to see people hook up, check out Pornhub... here it’s about creating art and connection."
  — Michael [32:32]

• "This is just the new adult thing... people are tired of bars and clubs... they want to connect without the distraction."
  — Michael [53:20]

• "Saying your desires out loud doesn't mean you want to do that with the person in front of you... Just getting people used to the language that should be occurring at a play party."
  — Michael [41:34]

• "You may go and not play at all. Sometimes it’s just about seeing what's possible and experiencing freedom and expression, not just sex."
  — Michael [62:13]

• "The diversity of bodies, sexual expressions, and experiences at sex parties can be liberating and help individuals break out of performative, porn-influenced sexuality."
  — Paraphrased summary [58:51]

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Practical Tips for Curious First-Timers (Especially Monogamous Couples)

• Come with No Expectations: Attend for the experience, not goal-oriented play.
• Set Clear Boundaries: Agree on what each of you is comfortable with, even if that’s only holding hands or talking.
• Use the Event’s Tools: Participate in opening exercises like DIBS to practice voicing needs and limits.
• Be Open to Surprises: You might simply observe and feel inspired, or realize you want to connect in new ways—play parties facilitate discovery without pressure.
• Use On-Site Support: Don’t hesitate to approach facilitators (harm-reduction specialists, consent directors) if you feel overwhelmed or need to process an experience.

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Guest & Event Information

• Michael Hollis, Founder of The Play
  • Website: theplay.la
  • Instagram: @theplayla
• Events: The Play operates monthly immersive themed parties in LA; vetting process includes video calls and recent STI results; Discord community available for those curious but not ready for a party.
• Upcoming Themes: Play Camp (July), Playground of the Gods (August), plus talent shows and more.

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Episode Tone & Atmosphere

Warm, irreverent, inviting, and candid—Amy and April normalize the spectrum of sexuality and curiosity, with playful humor and deep respect for safety, honesty, and radical self-love. Michael matches this with an inclusive, thoughtful approach to creating community and transformative experiences.

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Final Takeaways

• Monogamy and adventurous sexuality can coexist—shared curiosity, not nonmonogamy, is at the heart of most play party attendance.
• Play parties can be transformative spaces for breaking shame, practicing communication, exploring fantasy, and finding like-minded community—no sex required.
• Everyone, regardless of orientation or experience level, is invited to explore at their own pace with support and care.

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For more: Visit shamelesssex.com and theplay.la

Transcript

[Amy]

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[April]

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[April]

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[Amy]

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[April]

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[Michael Hollis]

intention like I want to everyone. You know, like we're just gonna as many bodies as possible and that's more of like maybe a desire, but like, what's the intention for everybody? Like, I wasn't loved as much. I hugged as much as a child. And my intention is to feel held to know.

[Amy]

I'm Amy. I'm April, Certified sex educators, sexperts of the year and bestselling authors.

[April]

And we're on a mission to help you have more spicy, connected and amazing shameless sex.

[Amy]

Welcome to the shameless sex revolution.

[Michael Hollis]

We're so close. It's like we have our own language. We're making sex and relationships shameless.

[Amy]

To learn more, go to shamelesssex.com and

[April]

for 15% off some of our favorite sex toys, use code shameless [e-mail] youm

[Michael Hollis]

are listening to a pleasure podcast. For more from our sex podcast collective, Visit pleasure podcast podcasts.com well, hello everyone.

[April]

Hey everybody.

[Amy]

Welcome back to the Shameless sex podcast.

[April]

You welcome back. You've been gone.

[Amy]

I know. I've been in Europe. I've been in Europe, y', all, for two weeks. That was a long trip.

[April]

That was a really long trip.

[Amy]

I know. I haven't seen you in over two weeks.

[April]

I know. I was supposed to go. I had a family emergency. It was very, very difficult. But I was so stoked to see you having the best time ever.

[Amy]

Amazing. Yeah, I went. So we got invited two years ago to go teach on the Killing kittens cruise. Killing Kitt is run by Emma Sale in the UK and they do sex parties and big megaplexes, like 500 to 700 people. That's usually just a night. Or they do also do more like retreat style sex party gatherings that are in like a mansion for the weekend. This is her first time doing a cruise. And so April, I invited a long time ago on the, as part of the teaching staff and to get a vacation. And you found out only like a couple weeks before that you couldn't go.

[April]

It was such a bummer. And I was living vicariously through your post and you your texts and next time there'll be more. There will be more.

[Amy]

Well, she has plenty more coming up. This is their first cruise, but there's already I think like three more cruises booked. There's a mega yacht experience. So. Yeah, so the, the Killing Kittens cruise, it was six nights in the Mediterranean and I was there with my partner and we were teaching together and I was contemplating like the difference between going on a sex cruise and they're all different, right? There's like different cruise sex cruise companies. This one doesn't even call itself a sex cruise. They, it's more like sexy hedonism meets glamour. There is, that happens. There is a playroom and there are workshops where people learn about sex and that's hence us teaching there. But I was thinking about that because like so because, and I was talking to people there because they, they knew that I do that you and I do retreats. And so one big difference between you know, this and our retreats is it's. Ours are not a sex party. We don't have a designated playroom. It's not a non monogamy oriented thing. We do have a non monogamy workshop. There are sometimes non monogamous people there. But it is much more about taking the work like learning, connecting with your partner, relaxation, being on vacation, more that. And I think all of that is definitely in the Killing Kittens cruise. And it also came with a lot more hedonism and debauchery in all the best ways. Like every night there was a show, there was a theme night, there's like red night, Wild Animal print night.

[April]

I saw some video from that.

[Amy]

They're performers. There was a whole troop of performers that did a different Thing every night. It was some of them, I swear, like Cirque du Soleil skills or like Olympic athlete skills. The things they can do. It's. But it's sexy too, right? Like I saw some wild stuff. Entertained and entertain.

[April]

Great.

[Amy]

And you also taught some awesome workshops. You know what? Fun fact. This is the first workshop that I co led where I actually got. Got completely naked and people saw my. For that how to pleasure workshop. I don't usually get naked for it. Usually it's like with a puppet and with this one, with this group, I was like I'm just gonna get naked. And so everyone was watching my partner teach them about this. Not to the point of orgasm or anything like that. Just like. Just for educational purposes. But I had like 30 people's faces all around. Like looking at my.

[April]

That's bold and courageous. I felt just fine.

[Amy]

It' a little cold in that room. But it was. But it was awesome. All the people were amazing. We had such a good time, made so many new friends. So if you're looking for a sexy cruise where you know, education meets travel, traveling in different areas meets lots of entertainment meets sex parties. I. I'd say a lot more people on this cruise. My guess is identifies more as swingers. Not it's not a swingers cruise though. But I met a lot of people that identify as swingers and I met a lot of people that didn't. And this episode, Michael Hollis. So Michael Hollis was on the cruise but he is not part of Killing Kittens. He runs the play la. He's been on our. On our show before and I recently went to one of his sex parties. That's more like a 12 hour experience in Los Angeles. Loved it. It's one of my favorite sex parties that I had, you know had been to was Renaissance Fair theme. So in this episode he and I are talking about sex parties. But we also focus on how monogamous people. A lot of monogamous people go to sex parties and a lot of people don't know that. They just think it's. It's like polyamorous wild or swingers. But there's a lot of people who go and I talk to a lot of people on the killings kittens cruise too. I'm just here with my partner. But we just like being in the energy.

[April]

You don't have to have sex with other people outside of your partnership.

[Amy]

You don't even have to have sex with your partner in front of other people if you don't want to.

[April]

You can just be there eating the good food and experiencing the joy of amazing people that are.

[Amy]

Yeah.

[April]

Like other.

[Amy]

Yeah. Open minded people. Yeah. So. So this, we're focusing on that in this episode with Michael Hollis but also just talking about sex parties in general. But if you're one of those people who's. Oh God, here they go again with non monogamy. That's not what we're doing here. Because monogamous people, a lot of them go to sex parties. They just want to be in the energy or maybe they're exhibitionists or they just want to make new friends. Blah blah blah. Lots of reasons. So anyways, if you are interested in killing kittens, go check them out. They're easy to find online. Hopefully April and I will be on another cruise and we'll see you there. And you'll learn more about the play LA in this episode. And then our our upcoming retreats are in October 2026. They're for couples. One has been completely sold out for months. The other one is almost sold out, only has three left. That's for three couples. This is in October 2026. Go to shamelessex.com get in there, get in, get in there. But yeah, it's good to be back but I already miss Europe and Italy. Oh also April, I wanted to stay on the show. You know there's hot wifing.

[April]

Yeah.

[Amy]

Is hot husbanding a thing? Do we know?

[April]

I don't believe it. It's hard to say.

[Amy]

First of all, I've never really heard of it or if I thing on the cruise I made it a thing.

[Michael Hollis]

Oh.

[Amy]

Because by just by accident.

[April]

Why do. Yeah. Why is there only hot wi fi.

[Amy]

Yeah. Because I know there's. It's just more I hear about that all the time. So hot wifing is like, you know men who love watching their wives either get hit on, flirt with or even even like knowing that they're hooking up with someone else. But it's more like because my wife's so hot it makes it's like invigorating. It's different from cuckolding. Cuckolding is more like humiliating or humiliation can be a part of it. Like oh, they're better than me and my wife's them and someone, you know, he get that guy gets turned on by it. But I haven't really heard of hot husbanding much. And there was one night on the cruise there's made friends with this awesome woman there. She actually came to the pussy workshop. So she saw my partner practicing on my. And after she's this Absolutely brilliant. I can't do it. UK Accent. Okay. Brilliant. All young, young teenagers should. Should know this. Anyways, it was kind of clear that maybe she had some interest in my partner. And so that night, we were, like, walking around the ship, and I was kind of tired. Like, I'm gonna go to bed. And it was animal night. Everyone's in, like, animal costumes. I think it was animal night anyways, or, like, some other night. And. But I was like, well, what if we find her? Maybe you can go show her your mouth skills. And we didn't find her. And then we were about, like, in the. Getting on the elevator to go to her room, and she's right there. And I was like, meant to be. Do you want to take him home with you, too? She's like, are you seriously? And I was like, yeah. She's like, you're okay with this? And I was like, yeah, totally. 100. Like, I feel so excited to go back to my room. It's already, like, midnight. I'm gonna have some snacks. I'm gonna watch a movie and take a shower and chill, and you guys have fun. She's like, okay. Seventh floo days. And so I sent them off in the elevator, and then he came back two hours later, and it was great.

[April]

Perfect.

[Amy]

So he decided. I'm like, I'm really into hot husbanding.

[April]

You got your. Well, you didn't watch, though.

[Amy]

No, you don't have to watch for hot wiping. Hot wiping can also just be, like, you know about it, but.

[April]

Yeah, yeah. Or the visuals that you're getting.

[Amy]

Anyways, okay, so. And I'm not married either, so go ahead.

[April]

And you could kind of trademark that copyright.

[Amy]

I'm sure it's a thing. It's just less common, I think it's less common for women, I think, to feel that level of, like, comfort. And it wasn't that I was turned on, but it made me happy to know that. That, like, both he and this other person were experiencing pleasure. So I don't know. I'm a weirdo, though.

[April]

Joy. Joy, I can't wait to hear more of your experiences.

[Amy]

Yeah, I didn't do anything else crazy, though. I didn't. Yeah. No. Yeah. Well, I signed a contract before that said we're not. No, we're not allowed to hook up with the guests, which makes sense. And then later, I heard that that was for the performers and not for us, but I was like, you know what? I'm still gonna stick with that.

[April]

Halfway through the cruise, you heard this. You're like, damn, It.

[Amy]

I know, but then there were people, guests, men in particular were like, so did that. You changed that contract? I was like, I think I'm just going to stick with it because it is like I'm teaching too, right? So I'm like, if I hook up with you and then I'm teaching you, but. So I'm like, kind of an authority figure. I don't know. I didn't want to make it messy. So I'm just going to send my partner to hook up with one of you who is basically also. That person wasn't like your traditional guest. It was like, you know, part of staff, essentially. So it felt safer. Anyways.

[April]

I feel like it's fine.

[Amy]

Yeah, it was cool. It was fine. You would have loved the performers.

[April]

He was a headline.

[Amy]

You would have died.

[April]

Your partner wasn't headlining, so it's.

[Amy]

No, he was like my. I mean, he was an assistant, but he taught the worship class. He taught almost all of it. I was just laying there naked, being like, here's my clip.

[April]

Some great.

[Amy]

That's a great way to teach.

[April]

Good setup.

[Amy]

I love teaching with you. So easy.

[April]

Way to go.

[Michael Hollis]

Yeah.

[Amy]

Anyways, love it.

[April]

Okay, sex question.

[Amy]

Yeah, here we go. Sex question. Okay, here we go. After listening to your podcast about prostate play, I mentioned it to my wife and we gave it a try, and we could not get over the awkwardness, making it unenjoyable for both of us. She is usually the submissive one, so switching roles was hard for us. I'd like to make it less awkward and work our way up to pegging if we can get through the awkwardness and to the pleasure side. Any suggestions? I can totally relate to this question because I played with prostate play and pegging before, and I, too, am a submissive person who's usually the one that's. I might feel my arousal when someone else is doing more the doing and directing. And so for me to, like, put a strap on on and take on this energetic role of being the doer to a man's ass felt performative and awkward to me. And so I can totally relate to this, like, why it might feel awkward for what? Well, is it so the qu.

[April]

Hold. I'm trying to understand the question. Were you reading it? Because there probably was a. A. A longer description, so.

[Amy]

No, there wasn't.

[April]

There wasn't. Okay. Because you don't always have to be in a pegging situation to have prostate play like you can use. There's even suction cup dills.

[Amy]

So many. Because they're not saying how they did it, I don't. So I don't know if it was just they started prostate play with fingers or you heard using fingers. And that was awkward. A toy. But I assume it's not pegging because they want to work their way up to pegging. So I think it was just experiment. It might take a prostate toy or fingers. My guess is it was fingers. I don't know. I don't know. My guess is they tried by her either using a toy or fingers in his bum, and it felt. Was really awkward for both of them because she's out. They're out of their roles of him being the doer and her being the submissive one. And so I. I totally get that, but I'm super. I'm curious about that. Like, did you go right on into using a harness and a strap on? Because that's kind of a really big leap for. Especially for the roles and just starting like out with anal. So if you didn't do this, I would recommend starting really small. Meaning, like, don't go right for the full big action of pegging or her doing. Using a toy and you thrusting in and out. Or, you know, start with like, maybe just start with indirect prostate play. If you haven't done this before. That's like between the balls and the asshole, there's the perineum right there, the taint. You can. She can use fingers there and rub and press into that area and see what that's like. Like taking on a doing role of that.

[Michael Hollis]

Or.

[Amy]

We just had a sex question. Someone saying they used the magic wand on their prostate on that area on the taint, and it slowly massaged their prostate into a powerful orgasm. So like layering on more intensity, starting slow and small and maybe more external before you go into doing an internal action or enroll.

[Michael Hollis]

Yeah.

[April]

Well, I think that with toys it does take some of the pressure off of your fingers, because I have experience with fingers. Number one, if you have nails like yours right now. Yeah, you would not be able to do that. But also if you. If you. If your fingers aren't the right length to hit your partner's. That's happened to me before where I'm like, I'm not even hitting it. And then it's just kind of awkward. And I think taking the pressure off, meaning if you are the person that likes to be the submissive, you could use an actual prostate toy that's designed for the prostate where it's hands free. You could actually put it in and. Or just, just. You could even use you could use a curved butt plug too if you wanted to.

[Amy]

Totally. Yeah. There's a lot of really great anal toys on the market that are designed for prostate play. And Narrows makes some fantastic ones.

[April]

Probably the best.

[Amy]

The best in the industry. They're specifically designed for prostate play. Originally it was designed for health actually, but and so you could start with something like that where you're not going right into the role of like thrusting and working your partner's prostate. Start with this toy and by a narrow. So they have a couple different ones, but I think the mgx, a narrow mgx is usually their starter prostate toy, like their beginner one. There's like the tried and there's all kinds of them. If you go to PurePleasureshop.com you can see them use coupon code shameless sex to get 15 off. But I think the Ineros MGX is like the beginners. And start by lubing that up. Well lubed Uber lube. And then start by inserting that into your partner. But you can. What it's how it's designed to work is it goes in and then it just stays in. And you do other things. Like you don't have to hold it in it's hands free. And you can, you know, have sex or suck your partner's. And when they orgasm, it will massage the prostate for them without you having to do anything. And then it's less like a doing action. But they're still getting prostate play.

[April]

You know, I was thinking too and I think that would be. It could be part of this scenario using a toy going into a role play. Like for her like the wife to have a role play situation, whatever. If it's nursing. Nursing? Yeah.

[Amy]

Like a prostate exam.

[April]

Yeah. I think about American Pie. Remember that scene where what's his name Stiffler was getting prostate massage? You don't have to go there if you don't like the medical side of things. You could also go something boss and I don't know, whatever you want. Boss and teacher and student.

[Amy]

Or you're arrested and you need a cavities.

[April]

There you go. And you can turn into this fun playful thing where you maybe you put on a wig and if you have problems getting out of your. Your own body yourself. I know that for me it helps. It can be. It can be more of. It's. It's more play, it's less formal and we have to do this thing. I'm gonna really try to hit your prostate with my fingers. Or this toy. You can be like, all right, here I come with my lab coat.

[Amy]

Yeah.

[April]

Bend over.

[Amy]

And you can laugh along the way too. Like, even if that feels silly or awkward to you, laugh about it. That's why we call. Refer to sex as play or role play is called role play. Like if, when you hit that awkward moment, don't demonize awkward. Like, if you demonize awkward, your sex is gonna be really hard for you because sex can be really awkward even if you've been with someone for 20 years. Like someone farts in your face or you have anal sex and there's some poop there. Right? Awkward. But instead of being like, oh, awkward made this bad sex. More like, oh, this is awkward. Let's laugh about it. And then either pivot or keep doing what you're doing. Be like, huh, this is kind of funny right now. But just make that part of the scene.

[April]

Yeah. And, and get into your boss. Your bossy. Because you're gonna have to be a little bit of a director if you're the, the person that's giving and. Okay, take a deep breath now. Release. Yeah. Open the anus.

[Amy]

Yeah, the unus. And then come back from Europe. You know what the news, you can laugh y. That and then, and then like when you're done laughing, keep moving on. Yeah.

[April]

Have fun. Remember, having fun in sex is probably the most liberating. And I think some of the best experiences, amazing of sexual experiences that are fun and less when they're serious. It's. It kind of, kind of drains me.

[Amy]

It's boring too.

[April]

Yeah.

[Amy]

I'm like, okay, yeah. And sometimes there's like serious, like romantic or passionate serious. But when serious is like when people are trying to make things perfect. Right. If you, you're new to a prost, you're not going to figure it out very easily right away. It takes, it takes a while because you can't see this part inside someone's body. You're working through the anal canal. So you're ass play, which in itself can be kind of hilarious and challenging. So like, give yourself some grace. Like, okay, it's going to be weird, wacky, awkward. We're not going to get it right the first couple times. We're going to try it again in a different way or maybe try in

[April]

different toys or I would get more tools for your tool belt because you can't, you know, you don't have just one type of nail in your home. Right. You need different nails for different weighted things.

[Amy]

Yes.

[April]

So we nail it with different, different nails.

[Amy]

Sometimes it's a screw sometimes. And then if and if you're going to move to pegging at some point instead of just going right to your partner who's usually submissive. Right. Wearing a harness and now taking on a role being someone who basically has a cock and is mounting you maybe start with. With getting that dildo that and there's plenty of great dildos for anal play at Pure Pleasures website as well. They usually. I prefer ones that are a little more like smooth. They don't have like bulbous heads and maybe a little more tapered on the tip. Start with that with just her hand. Using that on you and not. That's less of a dommy role than. Than thrusting with your hips. And maybe that in itself is enough. You're doing pegging without her having to wear a harness. For me I'll. I would wear a harness and peg my partner for funsies on the occasion. My partner and I have not done this because we really like to preserve our roles of me being more submissive and him being more dominant. But you know we're non monogamous so at some point someone else might beg it out. No, I'm not ruling out and I and if you really wanted it I would do on an occasion I would probably kind of laugh inside a little bit because it feels a little little awkward and silly to me. But I'd also remember this person is experiencing pleasure so that's cool. But you know if I really wanted to do it my way it would be I don't really want to wear the harness and thrust you because. Because that feels a little out of my role. I'd rather just hold the dildo in my hand and kind of you with my hand. Is that okay? They prob say yes. Everyone wins. They still get a similar experience and it feels less like dummy.

[April]

I'm all about prostate play because look, family emergencies and all like my father in law is dying of prostate cancer.

[Amy]

You have to exercise that thing.

[April]

So this is the thing. This is hence the reason I wasn't on the cruise. Like there's. It's been really heavy and you know my partner was diagnosed with an enlarged prostate recently. So I.

[Amy]

Which is common for men as age very much so.

[April]

And I've been inviting more a narrows play into our. I've contacted Brent. Brent, you're okay with me saying your name?

[Amy]

He is.

[April]

Yeah, forever and he's amazing. And I really want to go smaller to larger with the ineros toys. They don't have like huge like they're not gigantic.

[Amy]

But some of them are thicker.

[April]

Yeah, they have like each. And this isn't sponsored by Aneros at all. We're talking about their products because they're really. They've been around for a long time. We've had forests.

[Amy]

They're tried and true. Amazing.

[April]

They are. And. And I think that the older you get as. As a dude with a penis owner, you have to think about your prostate. It's inevitable. It really. Prostate issues. It's been more and more our. Our. Our friend. Her dear friend that we both know.

[Amy]

Yeah.

[April]

Her dad.

[Amy]

Prostate removed. Yeah.

[April]

Prostatectomy. Yeah.

[Amy]

And there are studies that show that. That, you know this is like a muscle. Right. Like, if you're exercising this part of your body, you're bringing blood flow to it regularly, that it can potentially help decrease your chances of having problems.

[April]

Doctor's orders.

[Amy]

Hey, there you go, taking on the role.

[April]

Okay, this was great. This was a great question.

[Amy]

Yes. If you wanted to check any of those products, just go to Pure, including Magic Wand, by the way. Magic Wand. Get the waterproof, though, because it's even more powerful. And you can bring in the bathtub and shower. Go to PurePleasureshop.com use coupon code SHAMELESSEX. You get 15 off. Have fun with your prostate. Okay. And also, just side note, about this episode. This episode. So it was filmed. If you go. And we'll check us out on YouTube, you'll see the video I'm recording with Michael Hollis in bed in the. My. My room on the cruise ship. And we got through like 30 to 40 minutes of it. And then we got a knock on the door. And it was someone on the cruise ship saying, you have a private session with someone in five minutes. I did. Private coaching session. So I was like, michael, we can do that. Can we do this later and wrap this up? So we stopped the recording. I went and did this private session in this couple's room. But then I got endlessly slammed that day, and we, Michael and I never got to finish. So what you're going to hear here is like. Like the majority of the episode is in us in person. Go watching YouTube. You can see who he is. It's us in my bed. But then that's the second part is us finishing it online. So just bear with us. I think it's kind of funny because you'll hear the knock on the door and you me being like, is that the doors and scene.

[April]

You're like, okay. Oh, awesome.

[Amy]

So just want to give you all a heads up.

[April]

All right. You ready for Michael's bio?

[Amy]

I am.

[April]

Here we Go. Michael Hollis is founder and creative director of the play. Guided by the principles of health, consent, intimacy, and artistry, Michael creates safe and inclusive spaces, fostering genuine connections and cultural evolution. His dedication to authenticity and inclusivity, coupled with his role as a cultural architect, makes the play a beacon of transformative experiences. To learn more, go to the play.

[Amy]

All right, Well, I usually start with it's interview time, but we are here in a bed.

[Michael Hollis]

That's right. On a boat.

[Amy]

On a boat, yeah. With Michael Hollis, who is. Are you the founder and creator or one of the founder and creators of the play?

[Michael Hollis]

I get. Well, my wife and I founded it together. Okay, okay. So one of the founders of the play.

[Amy]

The play la.

[Michael Hollis]

Just the play. I know it gets confused with the play LA all the time because we do it in la and then our website is theplay la and our Instagram is theplay la. And so everybody's like, play la. But I have bigger dreams than just la.

[Amy]

Yes. Okay. Yes. Hence why we are in the Mediterranean cruise ship. I know. And we are on the Killing Kittens crew. So this is a different kind of sex, party or life.

[Michael Hollis]

Lifestyle. Community.

[Amy]

Community. There you go. I was gonna say genre, but, you know. And. Yes. And so Michael has been on. I don't remember the. The show number. But you were on her show, I think. Oh, this. Actually, I know it was two years ago.

[Michael Hollis]

Yes.

[Amy]

And why I know this is because you guessed it. On Shameless Sex, you talked about the play. I was like, oh, my God, I want to go. And it took me two years to go to one of your parties, even though I also live in California. And we went. I went with my partner and a couple other friends, and we went to the Renaissance Faire. The Ren Faire, which is also my first Ren Faire ever.

[Michael Hollis]

Oh, wow.

That was shocking.

[Amy]

I'm like, if all Ren Faires are like this, I'm into it.

[Michael Hollis]

They are not. I was so disappointed by the Ren Faire. I did. So I did some of the actual Ren Faire. I went to one and was like, this just can't be it.

[Amy]

Yeah.

[Michael Hollis]

Because you purchase like, you know, it's like a 40 or $50 ticket.

[Amy]

Yeah.

[Michael Hollis]

And it's all vendors.

[Amy]

Oh, yeah. It's shopping.

[Michael Hollis]

So it's all shopping. You're like in a town. It's like you're all shopping. Yeah, exactly. And I was like, what. What am I. Did I pay money to money?

What is going on?

[Amy]

Yeah, well, and they're. I mean, it's called. Yeah. The costumes and things. And yeah, so it was so much fun. So I didn't really know what to expect. Your party was 12 hour window, and I went there thinking I would only be there for like four or five hours. And we got there right when it started, like right at two. And it went till we go to two. To two. Okay. Yeah, that's 12 hours. I know how to add everyone. And I was there till 1am oh, my God.

[Michael Hollis]

Yes, exactly.

I made it.

[Amy]

And I was just saying I was there till 1am and I. I didn't even touch any alcohol. It was amazing and it was so much fun. And so we're gonna talk about not just, you know, my experience of that party, talking about sex parties in general. And also one thing I wanted to talk about. I'm just gonna throw out the ideas and we'll go wherever we go. Is how a lot of monogamous. And I'm do. I'll do air quotes. Monogamous people or people who are just hooking up with their partner, being into their partner, go to sex parties. In fact, it's a lot of people and they don't even identify as swingers. And so for a lot of our listeners, we. For shameless sex. We have a lot of listeners who are monogamous who don't identify as swingers and probably think sex parties are only a place that you go to if you want to hook up with other people or you're a swinger or you're polyamorous or whatever. And that's actually not true. So those are a lot of different points. How's the cruise going for you?

[Michael Hollis]

So far so good. It was a little. It got a little rough last on the seas last night.

[Amy]

Yeah, it was literally rough. Like rocking.

[Michael Hollis]

Yeah.

[Amy]

Not from the banging.

[Michael Hollis]

Yeah, my wife, exactly. Well, the boat was rocking, but yeah, my wife had to go to bed early. I think a lot of people took

some, like, sea sickness pills.

[Amy]

Oh, yeah.

[Michael Hollis]

Something you don't really consider it. It's like, hey, I wonder if the Mediterranean is a rough sea.

[Amy]

Yeah, it happened to be. Yeah. This ship is like not super big, but not super small. And it was rocking. I was actually making a joke. I was like, when people are hooking up, they don't really need to move. They could just lay on top of each other and the boat would do some, like, slow movement for them.

[Michael Hollis]

Honestly, I think there was probably some great moves last night. As far as, you know, you're just kind of doing your thing and then the boat has a wave.

[Amy]

Yeah, totally. Yeah. I definitely Ran into some walls. That's.

[Michael Hollis]

Yeah, that's what happened with me.

[Amy]

Yeah, I was wearing heels. I was like, this is dangerous. Yeah. So it's been. We've only been here for 24 hours. Yes, yes, 24 hours. You're leaving tomorrow. You're not even doing the full week. Yes. Okay. And so your parties, you actually, you do do a party on a yacht. But let's. For as maybe let's, let's pretend like the listeners haven't heard your. Your previous episode because a lot of them haven't. Okay, explain to us a little more about Michael Hollis, the play and how, how you got started. Like how you created the play.

[Michael Hollis]

Yes. So the reason I created the play is like I went to my wife and I became ethically non monogamous early in our marriage and we like when I discovered play parties, it was like, it was like discovering like vampires existed. Like, what do you mean?

People are getting together, having sex in groups.

Like this just.

What?

This is a real thing? Yeah, I can do this.

So.

So we went to some parties and you know, kind of just like on the subject of monogamy, you know, we, when we started going to parties, like we wouldn't hook up with anybody else. It was just cool to be in this like very adult environment. And I think what I find at play parties are people are way more vulnerable and way more willing to connect and have like authentic conversations because their guard is down. And like we're seeing a lot of people be vulnerable like whether what, what they're wearing or just their willingness to connect. Like I'm here to connect with someone, to be able to hook up with someone. It can't just be like, hey, I think you're hot.

[Amy]

You know, it's like, yeah, girl, you want to bang.

[Michael Hollis]

Exactly. You kind of have to do like a little bit more.

[Amy]

Gotta work harder, everyone. Oh no.

[Michael Hollis]

Yeah, because you know, this isn't like an alcohol fueled space. Like, you know, you drinking at a play party doesn't equate to you like hooking up with someone, you know, like, you know, at bars. It's like, I'm gonna drink because that's gonna give me the courage to talk to them, to maybe flir with them. Versus this was like, hey, we're all going to be like flirtatious.

[Amy]

Yeah.

[Michael Hollis]

So like we just don't even need

[Amy]

to be lubricated for that. Unless it's uber loop. That's a different thing.

[Michael Hollis]

Yeah. Because consent is such a big aspect of play party spaces. You don't want to be one. You don't hook up with people who are intoxicated because they can't give full consent. So that's one part. And then just like, as someone who's like. As a guy who is usually doing the approaching in our. In our society, you know, the more tipsy I am, like, it's not like, the better my game gets. I love your toes.

[Amy]

You're like, why did I say that?

[Michael Hollis]

Bigfoot guy. Okay. So we went to the parties, and I just didn't feel like they were the vibe I was looking for. A lot of them felt like there wasn't a big difference between a play party and a college party.

[Amy]

I get.

[Michael Hollis]

Yeah, you get in there, and it's just like, okay. Like, lights are kind of. Of like they plug some stuff in.

[Amy]

Yeah.

[Michael Hollis]

You know, like.

[Amy]

Okay.

[Michael Hollis]

And then there's like, you know, maybe it's byob. A lot of them are byob. Some have an open bar, or sometimes there's a cash bar. But, you know, there's gonna be, like, drinks there. And then depending on the play party, there's gonna be, like, a consent talk.

Yeah.

And I see that more as, like, with the fraternity, it's like, hey, guys, welcome to our fraternity. And we're the boys of blah blah, you know, but so there's like, basically, like, this gathering of everyone, and then. And it's kind of just like, free for all. Like, figure it out. And to me, that was super difficult because you're putting me in a new social environment that I have no experience in. I don't know, like, the language that should be used. I don't know the proper etiquette. And this is, like, just wildly different. And so I wanted to, like, really do the, like, what's the sociology behind a play party? And that's what. What I was studying. It's like how. When.

Where.

What parties are people connecting more and what parties are, like, people kind of just sticking to themselves or leaving more fulfill. Exactly, Exactly. So and then what the other part, because the play, like, it's not. I think a lot of play parties have different themes to them. So some are more swinger parties. And swinger parties are like, you're coming as a couple, and you're looking for other couples. And then there's parties that are more centered around, I don't know, performances. There's parties that are centered around the divine feminine.

[Amy]

Feminine Tantra.

[Michael Hollis]

Exactly. Exactly. So I wanted to do a party. So we were at these parties, and what I'd find is, like, you know, somebody would be flogging.

And.

And that's when, like, you know, it's kind of getting like this tassel thing.

[Amy]

Yeah.

[Michael Hollis]

That you kind of like, you know, your listeners know what a flaw.

[April]

Yeah.

[Amy]

Yeah, you do. And if you don't, well, go listen to BDMS episode. We got a ton of them.

[Michael Hollis]

Yeah. And.

But.

But they're doing like, these kind of like, cool activities that aren't penetration but super sexy, you know, And I just thought, like, it's happening and it's happening kind of in a corner, but it's not like everyone's attention's on it. And I thought it was like, super beautiful what was happening. And I known I had a lot of friends in the art community, and I was like, what would happen if we combined, like, an art party and a sex party?

[April]

Yeah.

[Michael Hollis]

You know, and that's kind of where the play came to be, where it was like, hey, this is going to be the intersection of art and sex. And it started off with like, you know, 10 couples, you know, and each couple would do a performance.

[Amy]

Okay. And like, like friends, like, people you knew that you invited, kind of like, exactly.

[Michael Hollis]

Like, I knew they were in the lifestyle, like, you know, like, they're also artistic. And it wasn't so much that they were artistic. They wanted to express themselves. And it looked like, you know, there was a couple that did a nude acro yoga performance. You know, it's like, hey, we do acro yoga. Yoga. We're just gonna do it with our clothes on. That works. That works. Yeah, exactly. And then we would have, like, someone who likes flogging, but maybe we dipped a tassel of the flog in like a different color paint. And then when they flogged the person, like, the body became the canvas.

[Amy]

Yeah.

[Michael Hollis]

We gave Everybody a little 4 by 4, 4 by 4 inch canvas that they can press up against the person to then take home. And it's like, where'd you get. What's that piece from? Like, interesting nerd.

What part of the body?

[Amy]

Yeah, exactly.

[Michael Hollis]

So it became like this collaborative experience where we're, like, creating art together. And that's what I really liked about our parties was, you know, a lot of play parties, they'll. If there's a performance, it's like, oh, my God, look at this porn star hook up with this other porn star. And they have unrealistic proportions.

[Amy]

Like, why do I look like that?

[Michael Hollis]

Yeah, why am I walking away from this feeling like less of a man, you know? Totally. So, yeah, a lot of times it's just like, kind of like some of the performances, like, people just hooking up in front of everyone. And to me, we've never had that performance at the play. To me, it's like, if you want to see people hook up, like, check out pornhub.

[Amy]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Michael Hollis]

This episode is brought to you by

[Amy]

all over the Place. We're good.

[Michael Hollis]

Exactly, Exactly.

[Amy]

Erica Luss, actually, I love that we can watch Erica. I don't know if you did that. We can watch Erica Luss here in the hotel rooms.

[Michael Hollis]

I love Erica Luss. We also have a partnership with Erica Luss. Shout out to Erica.

Yes.

[Amy]

A little sexual born. Yeah. I like that, though, that it's like you can get this everywhere. And also having it have. So watching people have sex, sure, it inspired. Maybe inspires. Get to turn on. Inspires you to have sex. But then it also just makes the whole thing about sex.

[Michael Hollis]

Exactly. And. And that's where I wanted to, like, shift it. It's like, what if we, like, made this whole thing about creating something together, creating art together. And I. I think when you're creating a piece together, whether it's like body painting on one nude person, you know, we've done that a couple of times where it's like, a bunch of paintbrushes, and the person is, like, blindfolded, and then there's 20 paint brushes around them, and then they're dipping in paint. Then everybody's painting on them at that one time. So, like, the person who's getting painted on, they have. Because they have the eye mask on, like, their senses are heightened, and, like, they're feeling like, you know, 20 paintbrushes on them at once.

[Amy]

That's. That's, like, adoration. I'm the most special. That's like speaking to some core desires right there.

[Michael Hollis]

Exactly, exactly. And also respecting the boundaries of, like, hey, I don't want to be touched by everyone.

[April]

Yeah.

[Michael Hollis]

This was a whole thing where up with the woman where she was like, I don't want to be touched, but I want to be painted on.

[Amy]

I was like, yeah, like, not. It's indirect or touching. Yeah. With an instrument. As opposed to, like, someone's hands or mouths.

[Michael Hollis]

Yeah.

Because hands can wander.

[Amy]

Yeah, totally. And I don't know whether your hands clean. I'm not sure.

[Michael Hollis]

Right.

[Amy]

I hope so.

[Michael Hollis]

But nobody's gonna, like, do the paintbrush straight to the vagina. Exactly.

[Amy]

Tickle, tickle.

[Michael Hollis]

You monster. Get out of here.

That's a yeast infection.

So we want it to be, like, this collaborative experience and something like we're creating together, but Also, like, if when you're creating art with someone else now you have something in common. And I think that was the thing is, like, to be able to authentically connect with someone else, you have to share a memorable moment. And it's like that thing. So it's like, hey, I saw you painting that big, veiny penis on her thigh.

[Amy]

Yeah.

[Michael Hollis]

Like, really, really great work.

[Amy]

Yeah. Well done. Have you done that?

[Michael Hollis]

It's like that movie. Super bad.

Yeah.

[Amy]

You can't stop drawing jeans.

[Michael Hollis]

Exactly.

[Amy]

I feel like I know some teenage boys that are like that. Oh, my gosh.

[Michael Hollis]

What I wanted to do, though, is, like, with these performances and pieces that we're creating together, I think it's the social lubricant that's needed for connection, where I think it adds the nuance to flirting. I can't tell you what to flirt about, but if you were to paint with someone now instead of being like, oh, my God, I love your outfit, you know, it's like, hey, I saw. You know, do you paint often? Have you ever painted before? Now, like, we're talking about painting and, like, you can kind of be sexy. Like, no, you were a great painter. Like, I love those strokes, you know,

[Amy]

that's so funny because, like, you just flirted within, like, two seconds. It's so easy. But it's so hard for a lot of people.

[Michael Hollis]

Yeah.

Well, I think sometimes it's when you're going up to somebody with no information, like, the flirting can only be about maybe, like, their looks, like, what you observe, not like what you know. So when you give them something where it's like, oh, wow, like, that couple just did nude acro yoga in front of us. Hey, do you do yoga?

[Amy]

Yeah.

[April]

Like, are you.

[Amy]

Yeah. You have mislead.

[Michael Hollis]

You know what I mean?

[Amy]

You look like yoga. I can always take you to the frat boy place. But.

[Michael Hollis]

But that was one of the things I just wanted to create, like, this. This social lubrication. Sometimes they tell the guys, I'm like, I'm giving you the ammo to shoot your shot.

[Amy]

Yeah. Yeah. Seriously.

[Michael Hollis]

Yeah.

[Amy]

Take advantage of this.

[Michael Hollis]

Yeah. And. And so we would do. At our parties, we'll do, like, maybe three main performances, and then there'll be in between. Each performance is an intermission. So regardless of the performance is good or not like, nobody. Nobody actually cares.

[Amy]

No. It's like being entertained, inspired. Yeah.

[Michael Hollis]

You know, if some especially, like, we've had performances where something, like, messes up, and that's, like, that's now the talk.

[Amy]

But okay. But also, this Is important because this is sex. And sex isn't perfect too. People aren't perfect.

[Michael Hollis]

Nobody's trying to be. Nobody's going to the sex party and being like, can you believe that performer slipped? You know, like, oh my God. They need to be way more professional. Oh, my God.

[Amy]

If that's what you're going home with. Talking about, like, I'm really curious.

[Michael Hollis]

They need more professionals.

Like, you know, we're just, we're just

here because, like, it's. It's something else other than. Because if, if we don't give people something of substance to talk about.

[Amy]

Yeah.

[Michael Hollis]

And something that can be. You can be objectively correct. Because art, it's just whatever your perception is, you can't be like, no, that's not what that piece meant. Like, nobody's arguing that when it comes to art. So that was kind of the social lubricant. Lubricant. The other part was we needed exercises to connect people. So at our parties, when you get there, we do an intimacy exercise.

[Amy]

Yeah, yeah, I remember that. I thought that was like, I often like intimacy exercise. And I'm like, like, maybe I can avoid this. And when we were doing it and you. We can describe. I can describe what is. You know, it is too. I mean, it was so. It was. If I remember, we were going. You played Ren Fair music. First of all. They had the full on the music.

[April]

Yeah.

[Amy]

And everyone's like, huzzah. It was awesome. I was waiting for someone to yell huzzah. When they had an orgasm. I didn't actually know that. That would have been so cool. But then. So you're going around, you're playing music, you're slowly making, walking, making eye contact. And then you stop in front of someone. And then what did we do? We just held eyes and breath. We were breathing.

[Michael Hollis]

Yeah, well, we. The Ren Fair one, we did like the whole like, put your hand like. Yeah, yeah.

[Amy]

Walk in the circle. It was so fun. Yeah. And then it was like three different people. And then. Was there a prompt of something to share?

[Michael Hollis]

Yes.

So what we do is you eye gaze with four people.

[Amy]

Okay.

[Michael Hollis]

And it's only a 30 second eye gaze. What I found, like, as you know, you know, you go to all these tantra retreats and all of these, like, you know, emotional release workshops. Yeah, exactly. Like, do you see your father in me?

Do you see your father?

Yeah.

[April]

It's traumatic.

[Amy]

Yeah, no, I'm cool on that one.

[Michael Hollis]

30 seconds.

[April]

Yeah.

[Amy]

You know, it's 30 seconds. I gaze and feels like.

[Michael Hollis]

Yeah.

[Amy]

Especially the stranger 100%.

[Michael Hollis]

But 30 seconds is like really two full breaths, you know, like, and that's what we, you know, I was guiding people through. Like, hey, just an inhale, exhale. Like you both got here. I think reminding people in the eye gaze that you don't need to like, smile, you don't need to like, that you don't need to do like, anything.

[Amy]

You don't have to do anything.

[Michael Hollis]

Exactly.

Just like, be here.

[Amy]

Not a performance.

[Michael Hollis]

We just got here. Great. And then on the fourth person, you describe your dibs.

[Amy]

Okay.

[Michael Hollis]

This is a term that we coined.

[Amy]

I remember this.

[Michael Hollis]

And it is your desires, intentions, boundary, sexuality.

[Amy]

Ah, yes. I think I only got to the desire part because mine and I didn't actually do this that night, but mine was to be blindfolded and then my partner would go and choose like, specific men to come and do certain things to my body. So not quite a gang bang. They wouldn't be penetrating me or anything like that. But I, and I said this, shared this with whomever I was sharing with and I think his fans, like, well, I'd be happy to be one of those people. Cool. Thank you for letting me know.

[Michael Hollis]

Right.

[Amy]

It's like, I mean, it's not what happened. And I actually just got there was. It was not what happened at the party. And for, for various reasons, like, I just was like, it was one of those things for me. I'm very much like, I had this idea, but I need to see how I feel. And then later on, like, now I'm just, I'm enjoying doing all these other things. I don't need to do it anyway. So. Yes, I remember that.

[Michael Hollis]

Yeah.

So the reason we do this, and we do this at the beginning of the part is because we want people to get into the habit of saying their desires at a play party and saying your desire out loud. You may, you may come to the play party. I'm like, oh, my God, I want to have a threesome.

[Amy]

Yeah.

[Michael Hollis]

But like, if I don't. I mean, I don't know if you're into this, but like, I like speaking things into existence.

[Amy]

Yeah, totally. So it's like, I think it's very important.

[Michael Hollis]

Yeah, I want to have a threesome. I said it out loud. And that doesn't mean I want to have a threesome with you. It just means I want to have a threesome.

[Amy]

Yeah.

[Michael Hollis]

And there's been times where I've been eye gazing with someone. They're like, I want to be. I want to be tied up and they're Looking at me like, yeah. You know, kind of like, I'm gonna have, like, I don't. But I can. I know.

[Amy]

I know someone.

[Michael Hollis]

Yeah. I will push you in their direction, but just getting people used to. To the language that should be occurring at a play party, in my opinion, that, like, hey, I'm going to say my desire out loud then intentions. Yes. There's probably a reason you want to be here that's like more surface level, but, like, why are you actually here? And I think some of the responses I've heard is like, you know, hey, I'm looking for community. I'm looking for exploration or just touch.

[Amy]

Yeah, yeah.

[Michael Hollis]

I just, you know, I. Liberation. I just got out of a relationship

[Amy]

and like, I talked to one of those people. Recently divorced. Yeah.

[Michael Hollis]

Then I just want to, like, I just want to get out there. So rarely is someone's intention, like, I want to everyone, you know, like, we're just gonna.

[Amy]

As many bodies.

[Michael Hollis]

Yeah. And that's more of, like, maybe a desire, but, like, what's the intention for everybody? It's like, I wasn't loved as much. I hugged as much as a child, and my intention is to feel held.

[Amy]

Yeah. Or I feel like I don't have community right now. And I'm. I don't know. I identify as a little more of

[Michael Hollis]

a wild person that I see so many individuals like that where it's like, he either I just got out of a relationship or I'm in a relationship. And we're like the freaky couple, you know?

[Amy]

And we have any more friends like this.

[Michael Hollis]

We just don't have any friends that we can even talk to about, like, freaky stuff without being judged. So, like, now we're here and we can just talk about, like, hey, we, like, had this one threesome, and it's like, oh, we do threesomes all the time, you know? And like, now you can talk about it with someone without feeling shame. And it's not like you're at, like, the restaurant and you're like, okay, so we have this threesome.

[April]

Yeah, yeah.

[Amy]

No one can hear.

[Michael Hollis]

You should have seen what Bobby did. So, so. And then after that is boundaries. And we really want to get people in the habit of saying their boundaries out loud just to at least one person.

Yeah.

Yeah. Because so many times, you know, with that, the. The MeToo movement that happened, you know, I think there was a. A lot of times where men would cross boundaries, and I don't know if it was like, them intentionally crossing a boundary.

[Amy]

There's probably plenty of times where they were certainly not intentional.

[Michael Hollis]

You know, it's just like, hey, like you, you know, I've had men touch me on, you know, unconsensually and you know, and touch on consensual. Like, is it cool at full I touch your knee?

[Amy]

Yeah.

[Michael Hollis]

Right.

[Amy]

So like, see, he just did it,

[Michael Hollis]

you know, but like I, I touch your knee.

Right.

And then for me that was like, oh, yeah, I just touched your knee. It was fine. But you're like, hey, you don't know that like my uncle that molested me, like that's how it started. You know, it was him touching my knee. I have no clue. And now like this person has trauma, ptsd. And I'm not claiming like that that is not a blanket term for all the me too movement. There's a lot of just stuff there, you know. But I think it was more like from what I learned from it, it was more of like, oh, wow, I could be crossing someone's boundary unknowingly. I know. I think most of them, what we, I mean some guys took away from that is like, we probably just need to check in more so we're not causing trauma.

[Amy]

Yeah.

[Michael Hollis]

And like, maybe I should just be asking for consent for everything.

[Amy]

Yeah. You know, and some guys, when the. But they are making that a huge problem. Like, ugh, I have to talk. Why do. But. And when I hear people complain about that, I'm like, get the fuck over it. Like, you, you really are just trying to avoid communicating in a deeper, important way.

[Michael Hollis]

Yeah.

Well, you' just not entitled to touch anyone.

[Amy]

Yeah. Yeah. If you're not going to, if you're not going to have the conversations. This is kind of same things with sex. Like, if you're not going to talk about sex, maybe consider like holding off and having sex until you learn some skills to have the conversations about it. Yeah.

[Michael Hollis]

So making sure that people say their boundaries and. And again, saying them out loud sometimes just reinforces them at the party. Cuz it can be super overwhelming at a party to be like, oh my God, a lot of sexy people here. I'm into some people. Yeah. It's just like a lot of things are happening. Like he was like, what? You know, so when we say the boundaries, like, oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Tonight we're only hooking up with each other. You know, and what has been cool is like boundaries can evolve.

[Amy]

Yeah.

[Michael Hollis]

You know, but let's just make sure we have a starting point.

[Amy]

Totally. Yeah. Or we can check in like an hour or two and like still saying Boundaries. Anything shifted? How are you feeling?

[Michael Hollis]

Yep.

And then sexuality. And this is one that William Winters.

[Amy]

Yeah, William. That's a bonobo network.

[Michael Hollis]

Yep. William Winters actually gave me this one because I was like, oh, it's. You know, we have the dibs. He was like, yo, that's a great idea. What's the S stand for? I was like, oh, no, it was like, dibs with, like, a small S. Yeah, exactly. He's like, no, no, you need to utilize that X. It should be sexuality. And I was like, oh, my God, that is perfect, because I'm. I don't know what it is, but I just get into deep, long conversations with lesbians.

[Amy]

Lesbians love you.

[Michael Hollis]

They love me. I love them. You know, I just.

[Amy]

Well, no, obviously you got really good style, but that's my gay men that are being wearing the style. I'm sure gay men love gay too, though.

[Michael Hollis]

I mean, I do. Free drinks plus Hollywood.

[Amy]

A lot of friends out there, let

[Michael Hollis]

me tell you, When I go to the abbey. Hey. But, yeah, sexuality. It's like, to me, when we started doing sexuality, I understood more what pride meant. You know, pride is being out loud and proud of your sexuality. And a lot of times when it comes to sexuality, we're like, checking a box online or, you know, you're on a dating app, and it's like, oh, I guess I identify with this one. But you're never really saying it, you know, and you're never really saying it to, like, someone else out loud. To be like, I am heterose flexible.

[Amy]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Michael Hollis]

There was a time where I went from heterosexual to hetero flexible. And I never said it to anyone until we. We implemented. And I was like, I'm hetero flexible. I'm hetero flexible. And, like, now I have pride in saying my sexuality. And I get it, because just to get it out from coming from a straight man, it was. It was, like, tough to be like, my sexuality has changed.

Yeah, yeah.

[Amy]

No, they're not knocking on our door. Sorry. I was like, what? I heard her knock. What I think I wanted to say about the hetero flexible thing is I remember there was this moment a couple years ago where the bisexual community was upset about people using the term hetero flexible because they were like, it's. It is our door. All right, I'll be right back.

[April]

Coming.

[Amy]

Okay, Real Talk. We've been waiting to tell you about this one. The magic wand, but waterproof.

[April]

Yes, that's right. My favorite vibe ever. And it's waterproof as in shower bath, hot tub, Pool. Honestly, wherever water goes, this baby goes. Imagine warm water cascading down your back, wand on your shoulders, melting away tension, then slowly drifting. Ooh, you know that favorite zone.

[Amy]

Or partner play in the tub. Taking turns tracing every single erogenous zone while gravity just disappears. It's not a toy. It's a ritual. A whole sensory experience. And here's the thing. Magic Wand doesn't chase Trends. They've released six models in 50 years. Because when something is iconic, you don't fix what isn't broken.

[April]

See why Wire literally called it the most iconic vibrator on earth. We are not arguing built to last cost pennies per orgasm over its lifetime. Honestly, best investment you'll ever make. Facts. It's better than my 401k.

[Amy]

Yes, it is. And get the new and improved magic wand waterproof for 15 off right now with coupon code shameless sex on Purepleasureshop.com that's right, the best one in the world. That's also waterproof for 15 [e-mail] with coupon code Shameless sex.

[April]

News flash, everybody. We are picky about our lubes.

[Amy]

Can we say uber picky?

[April]

Yes, we can. And let me tell you all why. Uber Lube is our absolute favorite lube ever. Uber Lube is a luxurious silicone lubricant that I want all over my body. Yes, it's designed for sex because it enhances intimacy while allowing you to still feel the skin on skin contact. But it feels so good that I want it every day, everywhere. Uber Lube is long lasting, leaves your skin feeling velvety smooth, and it's there when you want it, but then it dissipates when you're done.

[Amy]

Yes, aside from using Uber Lube for all of my sexy sessions, and I use it all the time. I also use it for massages, for my hair fizzies, to prevent chafing, and it brings out the color of your beautiful tattoos. Thousands of doctors and therapists in the US Alone are recommending Uber Lube to their patients. Patients because it's body friendly, less likely to change the ph, and has vitamin E so it feels moisturizing on the skin. Uber Lube has no flavor or scent, which means it's also great for oral sex. And it comes in a beautiful glass bottle with a pump top, which means easy access to pleasure town.

[April]

Want to see why we think Uber Lube is the best lube in the world? Then go to uber lube.com and use discount code shameless to get 10 off and free shipping. Again, that's U B E R l u b e.com l Shop right now with code SHAMELESS for 10 off and free shipping.

[Amy]

Well, everyone, we got interrupted. Someone did not want Michael and I to be in bed together. They knocked on the door, they threw us for a loop. In my bed, in my room in the cruise ship. It was a surprise. Yeah, they interrupted. How rude. And it was a surprise clienting. I had clients. I had to go see him. Not had to, but I went and saw and did a session for them in their room. So I went from one. One room to the other. Yeah, I'm that slut.

[Michael Hollis]

I'm not here to ask questions or to judge. I think that's awesome that you do house calls.

[Amy]

I know I do house calls. I just went like three floors up and did house calls. And so then we got really busy and we're like, okay, yeah, we're gonna do it later today. And then later today got really busy and we'll do it tomorrow. Then tomorrow got busy and then Michael hopped off the ship and was adventuring around Italy elsewhere. So now we're online and it's sad because the bed was way more comfortable and way more fun. But hey, we'll take it. And so you're getting this fun two part episode all in one episode. So y' all already heard a lot about the play, about sex parties in general, about Michael, about the inspiration behind the play, how it's different from other sex parties or cruises. Like what we were just on, we were ending with, not ending with, because we weren't supposed to be done. But we were talking about hetero flexibility, how our sexuality can be ever changing. And Michael, you had shared about that for yourself that you identify as straight and then, you know, you over time, time have been become a little more on the flexi. I like flexi. I think it's cute. Flexi aside, and where we were going to go next with that is about how monogamous people go to sex parties. And a lot of people don't know that or think that is true. And I already know the answer, but I'm gonna pretend like I don't. Michael, do a lot of monogamous people go to the play?

[Michael Hollis]

I would say say out of the couples that go, I would say probably about 30 to 40% are monogamous.

[Amy]

But when they say monogamous meaning like they're going, they don't touch other people, they're just touching each other. But may. And, and so why. So then why are they going what are they doing?

[Michael Hollis]

Absolutely. I. I think because this is just the new adult thing, you know, Like, I think people are tired of going to bars and clubs and concerts where, you know, at the bar the focus is drinking, you know, And I think like, what people are actually looking for is like a deeper connection. I think when people go with their friends to concerts, like, yes, they want to enjoy the concert together, but they also like, want to connect with their friends. So I think when it comes to play parties and why they're becoming so prevalent and I mean, just around the world there's just so many play parties now that people want to go to a space and, and connect without the distraction of like, oh, we're all having drinks or we're just getting dinner or we're being entertained. Like, I really think that the reason this is emerging and part of it could have been, you know, after Covid, we saw a big boom in people attending parties. But I think people are just looking for more authentic connections. Especially with the rise of AI where, you know, everything feels so compartmentalized. You're at your job, you're in front of a screen, you go home, you're in front of a screen, you got your phone in your hand all the time. I think people just want to have these not just authentic, but like adult conversations as well. Like not having to whisper at the dinner table about some kinky thing that you did or some experience with a third that almost happened or what have you.

[Amy]

Yeah, yeah, that, that makes sense. Yeah. So for me, I've gone to a number of sex parties and just played with my partner. Whether we were identifying as monogamous, monogamish or non monogamous. Monogamous. And I just like, I like just being around the energy, the aliveness of it. Also, I'm a self identified pervert. There's that one. But like, I don't, I'm not necessarily an exhibitionist. I'm not like a full voyeur. There's something about being around other like minded, adventurous people and then being around that sexual open energy that just feels really good whether I'm touching other people or not.

[Michael Hollis]

Yeah, I think people just have a natural curiosity. Curiosity, you know, I think it's people wanting to be curious. And I think so many times when people get into relationships, there's a lot of growth that happens. But one of the ones that kind of gets put on the back burner or maybe just not engaged with like, maybe other aspects of growth in the relationship is their sex. You know, I think like, you Have a certain style of sex. You guys do that, you continue to do that. But sometimes people are afraid to say, hey, I want to try this new thing. Or when people's sexuality or desires change, they may be like afraid or intimidated to tell their partner of like, you know, hey, I want to try this new freaky thing. And, you know, they don't want to be judged by their partner. You know, it's happened to me as well. Like, I'm in this space and there's times where I'm like, hey, baby, do you want to, like, try this thing? And I'm super nervous about just, just asking. So I think what's cool about play space is, is. Is that you get to kind of see things that you may or may not be into and almost like point at it. Like, look at that thing. Like, we've never even thought of that. Like, we can, we can try that. One of the things that Dr. Jana taught me, she did a course at the play and she taught me about this term called hot monogamy.

[Amy]

I never heard of that. Like hot wiping, but hot monogamy. Yeah, go on.

[Michael Hollis]

And it's almost like this role play where, you know, you're a monogamous couple, but let's say you see someone that you both think are hot or one person thinks is hot. Let's say the guy sees a woman that he's super attracted to. Right. In hot monogamy, they like recognize that, you know, and the partner will dress up as that woman and act as that woman and then they hook up that way. It's still monogamy, but it's kind of hot.

[Amy]

Yeah, it's like adding in a sense of role play and almost like you are having sex with someone else. I mean. Yeah, it's like, it's like role play. Right? You. You're just like someone new, but you're getting inspired by a real person.

[Michael Hollis]

It's exactly like role play. I just think with role play, we get into like more of these far fetched characters. Like, I'm a police officer or, you know, like, I'm a fireman.

Yeah.

Versus just being, you know, that random woman who you guys both were obsessed with at the, at the bar, at the concert, or wherever you guys may be at. At the farmer's market.

[Amy]

Yeah. You know, another thing that I find really helpful at sex parties, or maybe not for everyone, but I think a lot of people take sex too seriously. Not consent, boundaries, everyone take that seriously. But they take the parts of like trying to act perfect, look perfect. The Performance and the aesthetics. Like, you know, you need to be like what you see in porn or mainstream media. And then when you go to sex parties, at least for me, when I go to sex parties and I look around the room at all the different body shapes and types and the ways that people are moving, I'm kind of laughing a little bit because I'm like, we look like we're just all like wild animals and. And no one is perfect. Like, that person is one way. This person's another. These people aren't even. They're doing. I don't even know what they're doing over there. And I think it could be helpful to. To. To not that just go to sex parts just for this reason, but to see the variety of real people having sex and be like, oh, there's not one way to do it. And the way I'm doing it is just fine. I can get out of my head.

[Michael Hollis]

Yeah, I think that, you know, that's another thing at the place, what we. We try to create a community of. It's like our target audience is the middle class, if you will. You know, there's some play parties where it's like thousands of dollars to attend and everybody looks like, you know, all the women look like models and all the guys are super established and rich. And I just didn't feel like that's like, the reality of all the people

that want to explore.

I think when people think about sex parties, they go to Eyes Wide Shut, whereas it's like leads are doing this thing. And one of the things I wanted to do with the play is just like, no, just like the everyday person wants to explore. And it shouldn't be that you have to be an elite or have a certain amount of money to attend these things. Now, don't get me wrong, like, we have a ticket price, but it's reasonable to be able to. To. To enter. And. And I tell people, like, these play parties, it's like Disneyland, you know, maybe go once or twice a year, save up for it. But also we have people who are crazy Disney people that come to every party, you know, so, yeah, just making it accessible. And I think we talk a lot about diversity and not so much diversity in ethnicity. It's like diversity and shapes and sizes and kinks and sexuality. It's super important to have that at the party because that's how you discover, you know, like, there's so many times where we've had a lot of. Of men try something else with other men at the party because they felt so comfortable. They. They came in heterosexual and left hetero flexible, you know, because we want to create those spaces where, hey, like, you should be able to try something and no one here is going to judge you for it. You know, we're actually going to celebrate you for it.

[Amy]

And they're not going to judge you if you don't try the thing or if you don't have sex. Right. Like, some people are there. They're not even there with their romantic partner and having sex. They're just there to hang out, to dance, to talk. I mean, it's not. Yours isn't like a full dancer, but there's some dancing that happens.

[Michael Hollis]

No, but Amy, that's a. That's a great point, is that we find that there's a lot of people who. Not a lot. There's a. There's a portion of people that come with a friend, not even their partner, just like, hey, I've got this kinky friend and like, we can go to this event and they may not even hook up with anybody, but, like, me and my friend have, have this kinky relationship or kinky interest, and we just want to go somewhere where it's celebrated and we can see something new and potentially explore or just, you know, clock it and maybe try it another time.

[Amy]

Yeah. 100. Yeah. So. So just like such a variety of. Of options for people. But it's not all sex parties are, you know, there's. After going on the Killing Kittens cruise. That's a very specific vibe. It's, you know, it's different from your party and your party is different from this other party. But I think even in all of the parties I've been to and speaking to the. About the Mon. Monogamous folks, right. Like, I've met plenty of monogamous people there who are just looking for something that is, you know, a little different or adventurous or all the reasons that we listed. What do you have any tips for, like, let's go with like, monogamous newbies who are like, okay, I want to go to the play. Is our first play party. We're monogamous. Any top tips for them?

[Michael Hollis]

One, just come with no expectations. You know, so many times it's like, hey, I'm going to a play party, so I'm going to play like. Like, just be open and curious. I think that's the best. The best part. My first three play parties that I, that I went to, I didn't play at all. It was so, like, overstimulating. I was taking in so much Information. I was learning so many new things that, like, sex was. Wasn't even. Sex wasn't. Not even like, my first thought. It was just like, wow, this is possible. And look at everybody. Everybody be free and expressive. And I think that was kind of what really hit home for me is not so much like, look at everybody hook up. It was just like, wow, look at this space that's been created where people can connect however they want. And. And kind of like you saw at our party, where, you know, yes, there's some people playing. You know, not to call you out, but there was, you know, there was people playing, and then you guys had this game of spin the bottle.

[Amy]

Yeah, the longest spin the bottle game ever.

[Michael Hollis]

Ever.

You know what I mean? Like, it was so.

It was like spin the bottles happening. Then there's just, like, deep conversations happening. There's massages happening. There's, you know, that Japanese rope art, which is. Which is called chabari happening. There's, like, so many different aspects of this kink space that people can explore without crossing any boundaries. And I think that's the big thing when it comes to monogamous couples is before you even attend the party, outline your. Your boundaries. Hey, we're not playing with anybody tonight. Hey, I'm open to you just kissing someone else tonight. Because when you go in with those boundaries, it's easier to work your way through the crowd. And to have those conversations when someone comes up to you is like, hey, are you guys playing? Like. Like, no, we're just playing with each other. Or we're down to we're going to hook up with each other, but we're okay with someone else hooking up next to us.

[Amy]

Yeah.

[Michael Hollis]

You know, so having those boundaries really helps you explore the space. And. And no one's gonna shame you. First off, no one's gonna shame you for anything, especially in this shameless podcast. Yeah, but I think that's the cool part about this, is that you can be any level of your sexual experience, and it's accepted. And we've. A lot of us have started off monogamous coming into this space, and I think that's how it starts, like, to your point.

Point.

It really starts with monogamous couples being curious and saying, you know what? Like, we just want to see something new. If there's one reason to go to a play party, go. Because you haven't been before.

[Amy]

Just like when you go into Italy, like, I just did. I never been. I wanted to go.

[Michael Hollis]

Just want to see what's going on, you know, and you can make your, your own judgment from there. And, and the other thing is, I want to call out is that it's

not for, for everybody.

You may go, and it may, it may turn you off. But I also want to encourage people to not just judge their experience off one type of play party. Right. Some brands and, and experiences are different than others. Some are performance based. Some are like, you get there and then everybody's got their clothes off. You know, like, there's so. And then there's some like, that are hotel takeovers where there's hundreds of people all doing different things. And you kind of can explore without feeling pressure because, like, yeah, there's 400 people. They're not, they're not keeping track of you, you know, versus the party. That's maybe like eight people. And it's like, all right, well, who's, who's playing and who's not, you know?

[Amy]

Yeah, yeah, this. Yeah, something for everyone. And, and I, I think we said this before. You already said, like, Disneyland. So, like Disneyland or like, you know, Burning Man's. What? My experience with sex parties is similar to those things where the highest of highs, the best of the best, you know, those great moments are even higher, and the lowest of lows, those challenging moments are even lower. Like, they. Everything can be kind of amplified or magnified in a good way too. It's just like, because it is a really vulnerable experience or situation. So I would just add also, if you are going, no matter what, who you're going with, your partner, yourself, your friend, like, have some protocol around, like, what if I do get triggered? What if something feels challenging? I'm not guaranteeing that what will happen, but just so you know, like, oh, what do I need? Do I need to, like, you know, you. You guys have helpers there too, right, that people can go up to, like, hey, I'm having a hard time, or there's a consent issue. Right.

[Michael Hollis]

Yeah, we have harm reduction specialists and we also have a consent director. So our harm reduction specialists are individuals who are kind of just floating around, making sure. Some people call them like dungeon monitors. I hate that term because this isn't a dungeon. Yeah. You know, but they're there just to make sure that, like, consent is being followed. But, but also, also people who may feel uncomfortable. You know, they, they're there to, like, read body language. If somebody just like, hanging out in the corner, no one's talking to them. Like, let's engage them if they want to be engaged, you know, and then our consent director as well we have a help desk at our parties. They've gotten kind of big, so we have a help desk where it's like, hey, you know, like, if I'm feeling sick or I'm just feeling a little uneasy about the whole experience or if a consent issue happens, like we have a location that you can go directly to instead of us trying to, to like, figure out, you know, all the situations. We're going to do our best, but that's the other thing with all of these spaces, is that we're going to do our best. These are human to human connections and we're not always going to get it right, but we're going to try. And part of that is having the agency with yourself to say, hey, this was uncomfortable and I want to, I want to talk about it with someone or a professional.

[Amy]

Yeah, well, I love your. Well, I've only been to one. I loved your party and I had big plans to come back hopefully in August. But so this episode's coming out, I believe. Actually, I know the date is June 30, 2026, and I don't know if you can share more about what's coming up and maybe there's, there's things coming up for you even outside of the play party scene, but can you share with our listeners a little bit more about what, what is on the the T of the menu? The future of Michael Hollis and Play the Play.

[Michael Hollis]

Is this the time for the shameless plugs?

[Amy]

This is the shameless butt plug time.

[Michael Hollis]

Okay, so coming up on July 25th, we have the Play camp. It's a super unique theme where we divide all the guests in the cabins and then we do like kinky games. Instead of flip cup, we have like those suction cup dildos. So it's like you have to do those, you know, we have strap on, ring toss. There's like bobbing for sex toys. There's a whole plethora of stuff. And there's like a talent show that's a really fun theme. On August 22, we have the Playground of the Gods. This one is one of our flagship parties. It's always pretty huge. We have some of the best performers in, in our space performing, I believe on August 7th. Prior to that, we have the Plays Got Talent. Now this is an experience. Like this is not a play party. This is just a kinky talent show. So if you want to, if you're not ready to come to a play party, you can come to the Plays Got Talent just to see be like six people competing to Be I don't know if we're crowning anybody anything, but there's a winner and it's really cool to just go to like as a date night. We have a lot of people who are monogamous or who are just curious, who are not ready for a play party, who would love to just be in the environment and see the community. And the other thing is that we have a discord as well. We call it the Play Network and it's a subscription based Discord. Discord. But when you're on the. There a lot of people who are not ready to join, you know, the actual party. So they go through our application process and our vetting process. They get approved and now they can join our discord. And on the discord there's so many different categories. We have a men's group, a women's group and our non binary people can join whichever one they want. We have one of my favorite categories Come and Go where people post kinky pictures but they only stay up for 24 hours.

[Amy]

Oh cool.

[April]

Click Snapchat.

[Michael Hollis]

We have, we have Pets of the Planet where people just post their pets, you know, but. Or Playmates in the Wild where if you see somebody, you see a friend that's been to the play, you just take a normal picture with them and post it. But basically like a way for us to create community without you having to go to the party. And then also like I tell everybody this is more than a party, it's a community. So we want to make sure that like, hey, before the party and after the party you have a way to connect with people. And if you're not ready to go to a party, like you can still feel like you're a part of a community where you feel seen awesome.

[Amy]

So yeah, so I, I went through this process and everyone, I did this on my own. It's not just because I, because I know Michael, I was automatically in. I, you know, applied online. You fill out some forms and things it goes through. Then you set up an interview. Set up and you do a video interview. And it wasn't with Michael's with. I forgot her name, but she was wonderful. And then they're like, you're in and there's a, you know, a fee to go. And then before I went, I had to send in my STI results. And I don't know if we said this when we recorded before, so if this is a repeat cheat. Sorry about that everyone, but I think that the STI thing is brilliant. Having people test not. It's not like you're like, you know, every. It's public knowledge and everyone's seeing it, but even people that I went with it encouraged them to get tested when they hadn't been tested in years. And I thought that was brilliant.

[Michael Hollis]

Yeah. This is a great point. We are one of the few play part ticketed play parties that requires STI testing. To my knowledge, there's only two us and our New York partners. And that was the thing being when the New York top floor asked to be partners with us, we were like, hey, you got to implement the testing. And so that was a really cool way that we've been able to influence the, the culture. And we, we love the folks at top floor, but the whole thing is like the test. They need to be within 90 days of the party you attend. Now people are like, well, people could potentially have something at the party. 90 days is a long time. You're absolutely right. We're not saying that no one's going to have an STI there. We're saying if you want to come into this play party culture, be ethically non monogamous is just knowing your status.

[Amy]

Yeah.

[Michael Hollis]

You know.

[Amy]

Yeah.

[Michael Hollis]

Getting destigmatizing testing whether you feel, you know, if you think everything's okay or not, or you've only hooked up with your partner. Amy. I'll say like 1 in 20 couples. It's like we've only hooked up with each other and then one of them has an sti.

[Amy]

How did that pop up? It was the toilet seat, I swear,

[Michael Hollis]

you know, it was a toys.

The fat.

That splash back.

[Amy]

The splash got me, gave me chlamydia.

[Michael Hollis]

But that's our whole thing is that, you know, we want our pillars, our care, consent, connection, creativity and community. And care means health care, self care and, and taking care of each other. So it's a, it's a big pillar of ours and, and hopefully if, if people want to come. I think the other part is like you said, we want to do a one on one interview with every single person. There are no plus ones. We want to make sure everybody can ask us questions, you know, because sometimes I've heard of parties that do an orientation and when it's an orientation of a bunch of people, like, I don't know how much I'm actually going to tell these strangers. But when it's one on one, you may want to share more. There may be questions that you have that the website didn't answer. And we also take you through hour by hour what happens during the play because this can be an 8 to 12 hour experience. Experience. And to me, I think it's one of those things that kind of calms the nervous system when you arrive to be like, okay, I'm here, I know what's gonna happen at this time and this time and I can like mentally be prepared versus like throw you to the wolves. Like, here's a drink, here's a kids. Yeah, you guys figure it out.

[Amy]

Yeah. And you're like, ah, yeah, we don't. Yeah. So there's a little, there's more intention involved, more care. And also the person you did the interview with, you already know someone at the party because they're probably going to be there. So. So there's that. And so, okay, so for people that we put everything in the show notes, we'll have links there. But can you remind us, I mean it's the Play la, but can you remind us about the website, how people can learn more, sign up also socials and all that if you have that.

[Michael Hollis]

Yes, the company name is the Play.

But we did get the URL. The Play la. So everybody the Play la.

But yeah, Play LA is the URL. The website has so much information, has some videos and some cool art. The other is our Instagram @theplay la. Pretty simple. Website is the same as the Instagram and those are our, you know, Instagram and. And our website are the two areas where you can find us. I definitely would encourage people to check out our Instagram. We're very intentional about what we post and what's cool about our parties is each one is drastically different than the next. We try to create these immersive worlds that people enter so it feels new and they're not at the same location. So we switch it up from, you know, Malibu beach houses to Topanga Estates to downtown LA Penthouses to Bel Air Mansions, you name it. We just want to give people access to some really cool spaces, but also spaces that really fit with the theme that we're creating.

[Amy]

Yeah. If you go to the. In their Instagram, you'll see and there's a lot of. There's video for every party. There's videos kind of showing.

[Michael Hollis]

There's a little highlight video for everyone.

[Amy]

Y. Yep. And there you'll. Even if you don't go to party, you'll be entertained just watching that. So go check that out because I, I was. It's really well done. You're. I love what you're doing. Such a. Such amazing work offerings. Can't wait to go. Next one. I'm Hoping to go to the. What is it? Of the Gods. Was it called of the Gods?

[Michael Hollis]

Playground of the Gods.

[Amy]

Playground of the Gods, Yeah, I hope so. And if not, there will be more in the future because it sounds like you are doing them monthly for the most part, right?

[Michael Hollis]

Yeah, they're becoming about. About monthly, I'd say. We're doing almost. I think this year we're going to do about nine to ten parties. So there's. There's times where I need to go on vacation, you know, you have a personal life.

[Amy]

No way. Well, if you ever make it to the parties, everyone, you'll understand why it's not just Michael Hollis working one day to make this happen. It's a whole team. It takes a lot of time and energy because it really is.

[Michael Hollis]

It's undisputed. Before we end, I just want to give a shout out to my team.

[Amy]

Yeah.

[Michael Hollis]

There are so many people behind this brand and who have believed in this vision, and none of it could have been possible without him. And I also want to thank you, Amy, for just creating a space for, you know, me to talk about this. This is. These spaces are so important and having places where there isn't shame to talk about people's sexual exploration, curiosity, kinks, like, it's so important and it's such a risk to take. I know. It's like hard to find sponsorships because you're talking about sex, you know, like. Yeah, I'm in the same boat.

[Amy]

Yeah, totally. Yeah. Oh, sex.

[Michael Hollis]

Are.

[Amy]

We don't do that. Yeah. Behind closed doors, remember?

[Michael Hollis]

You know, the reason we're all here on this planet, like, okay, yeah, no, I get it. We shouldn't talk about that.

[Amy]

We all have it in common in some way, shape or form, everyone. So.

[Michael Hollis]

So I just want to thank you again, Amy. It really means a lot you'd give. Give me this space and this platform. And I really thank you for supporting it. And also for a T, it means the world.

[Amy]

Well, I'll be back. And I promise, promise I won't create a game, like a two to three hour game of spin the bottle again.

[Michael Hollis]

Do you remember when I came into that game?

[Amy]

Yeah, totally. You came in there and. And the. Right. When you walked up, the bottle landed on you.

[Michael Hollis]

Yeah.

[Amy]

You're like. And when you're like, wait, how are you. Because the way we were playing it was. Wasn't just like, oh, you kiss. It was like, no, no, no. You make a request, I get to decide. Yeah.

[Michael Hollis]

I was like, wait, wait, wait, hold up, hold up. I didn't See this.

[Amy]

We were practicing everything from boundaries, asking for what you want, negotiation, all within, spin the bottle. And it wasn't even my parties, but it was cool. It was cool to see and just. Yeah, I'll end with this. It was cool to just see. I think for some of the speaking to, like, the. The newbies or like, the more hesitant people or even maybe some of the monogamous people who don't want to fully, fully, like, have sex with other people, it made it a really easy way for them to come and like, still engage and. And play and. And that's not the only way. You know, that's one thing that we just decided to do because we're basically like big children. So, yeah, there's a lot of options there. You're. You're doing amazing things. So everyone go ch. The play la. Sorry, the play dot la. I mean, I remember this. Michael's like, come on, get it right. Thank you so much. I'm so glad I got to get to know you more and spend time with you on. On the Killing Kittens cruise too, because

[Michael Hollis]

so much I. Hopefully next year we'll. We'll see each other again.

[Amy]

Yeah. And you can stay for the full time, full week.

[Michael Hollis]

Oh, my God.

I know. I missed so many cool locations.

[Amy]

I know. Oh, my God. Yeah. Portofino. Yeah. There will be more, but until then, you'll see me at one of your parties or if not before then, when I'm in la. So everyone go check out theplay la. Hope to see you at one of the parties. And April's not here, but what she would usually say is, we love you. We love our listeners. If you have not reviewed us, please review us. It helps people find us. It helps people who need the good message of shameless sexness. And that's not how I meant to say that. In their life. Shamelessness in their life. And we love five stars. And what else should it say? We release an episode every week, so see you next Tuesday and. And ciao for now. To learn more, go to shamelesssex.com and

[April]

for 15% off some of our favorite sex toys, use code shameless [e-mail].