#495 Kink Curious? Your Beginner's Guide to BDSM with Ashley Randall

Summary

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Shameless Sex Podcast Episode #495

Kink Curious? Your Beginner's Guide to BDSM with Ashley Randall
Release Date: July 21, 2026

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Episode Overview

In this episode, host Amy Baldwin (sex and relationship coach) sits down with returning guest Ashley Randall, also known as The Irreverent Femme—a certified sex, intimacy and kink coach, dominatrix, and erotic perfumist. Building on Ashley’s previous appearance about masculine dominance, this conversation is specifically crafted for people who are “kink curious”: those interested in BDSM and kink who are just starting to explore. The episode focuses on demystifying kink, offering actionable tips for beginners, discussing the emotional nuances of DS (Dominance/Submissive) dynamics, and breaking down common misconceptions with warmth, humor, and non-judgmental guidance.

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Key Discussion Points and Insights

1. Defining Kink & Identifying Kink Curiosity

• What Is Kink?
  • Kink is defined as anything outside the perceived sexual norm. This is deeply personal: what is edgy or kinky to one might be normal to another.
    • Ashley Randall: "Kink is a relative term...anything outside the mainstream or that is, you know, new and kind of edgy." (22:59)
    • Amy: "For some people, anal sex is just normal, for someone else, that's their kinky sex." (23:51)
• Are You Kinky?
  • If you’re curious, you’re probably kinky! Curiosity itself is a red flag for kink interest.
    • Ashley: "When people are wondering, 'Am I kinky?'...you already have the curiosity, so probably yes." (25:09)
    • Amy: "If someone says, 'I think I might be kinky,'...the answer is going to be yes." (25:19)

2. The Kink Journey: Ashley’s Story (12:43–21:45)

• Growing up in a conservative environment gave Ashley early insight into societal constraints around sex and communication (13:10).
• She describes how early interests in martial arts and alternative subcultures (e.g., working at Hot Topic) shaped her exploration into kink, dominance, and ultimately, professional coaching.
• Notable Quote: "Don't tell me what to do. And I'm gonna do whatever the hell I want and be a slut." – Ashley Randall (13:14)
• Ashley shares a touching story about guiding a friend (now personal submissive) from sexual shame to bi-acceptance and joyful exploration through DS dynamics:
  • "I was helping him have permission to go be bi and enjoy having sex with men...He calls me mommy now and he'll text me, 'I'm going to this guy's house, permission to be a big filthy whore for you?'" (19:10–20:37)
  • The combination of acceptance, roleplay, and communication transformed this friend's relationship to pleasure and shame—proof of the transformative potential of kink.

3. Foundations for Kink Curious Couples/Individuals (27:23–32:57)

• Start Slow & Communicate:
  • "What do you want to feel? And what do you not want to feel?" (28:35–29:10)
  • Discussion about the importance of starting with emotional themes and desires before focusing on specific acts or roles.
• Negotiation and Consent:
  • Importance of negotiation checklists and pre-play conversations (31:14).
  • Both dominant and submissive roles have "homework": Know your desires, boundaries, and needs—don't expect the dom to 'just know'. (30:39)
  • "Sometimes people come to me professionally...and they'll say, 'Whatever you want, mistress.' And I go, hang on. I don't know anything about you..." (30:45)
• Check-ins & Rupture/Repair:
  • Use simple systems like red/yellow/green traffic light safewords, and don’t be afraid to pause a scene to check in or recover from a misstep (33:50).
  • Repair and aftercare are essential for deepening trust and connection: "What builds trust is rupture and repair..." (35:42)

4. Popular Beginner Kinks & How to Start (39:41–47:46)

• Most Common Entry Points:
  • Threesomes and other forms of non-monogamy
  • Spanking, bondage/restraint (handcuffs, ropes, being tied up)
  • Power play dynamics (wanting a partner to be more dominant/submissive)
  • Watching and being watched (cuckolding as example)
    • "Spanking and bondage...impact and bondage play." (40:14)
• Getting Started with Spanking or Restraint:
  • Know what each person wants and feels safe trying.
  • For bondage, start with simple restraints (themed cuffs, scarves), focus on comfort and safety, not complexity.
    • "Handcuffs are the thing people think of, but the metal ones really hurt...go for comfort, soft cuffs, or even scarves." (47:03)
  • "What bondage and restraint can really do is help you turn your mind off...you have no choice but to receive." (47:13)
  • The sub-partner is actively participating through guidance and communication, even when "receiving". (47:56)

5. The Emotional Side of Power Play (44:45–51:38)

• Submissive Mindset: Often about feeling emotionally and energetically cared for, not laziness or passivity.
• Dominant Mindset: Not about controlling brute force or “just knowing”; real dominance is attentive and skilled.
• Switches: Many people, including Ashley, enjoy swapping roles or blending energies (49:00).
• Primal Play: For some, kink is “animalistic,” passionate, and about giving oneself permission to express deeper desires.
• Safety, Aftercare, and Touch: Use the body as the main tool—fancy equipment is not required for entry-level fun or intimacy.

6. Resources, Learning, and Community (52:12–53:50)

• Find your local dungeon/community: Most major cities have entry-level workshops ("BDSM 101", "Taster" classes). Comfortable, informed spaces foster learning and safety. (52:12)
• Go Slower Than You Think: Many rush in, have negative experiences, and write kink off prematurely.
  • Ashley: "Please go at a slower pace than you think." (52:35)
  • Amy: "'Slower than slow and slower than that.' And that doesn't apply to all sex all the time but especially with like, edgy things, new things, new partners..." (52:52)
• Build your “adult play menu”: Learn as you go, add and remove things from your menu of interests, and expect the process to be imperfect, with the occasional misstep.

7. Ashley’s Work and Invitation

• Most of Ashley’s coaching is with cis, heteronormative men—guiding them in confidence, dominance, intimacy, and consent (55:07).
• She works with couples, switches, and individuals of all genders—both virtually and in-person in Los Angeles.
• She’s selective as a professional dominatrix, seeking people interested in authentic connection and growth rather than just performative satisfaction (58:13; 59:34).

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Notable Quotes & Timestamps

• "Don't tell me what to do. And I'm gonna do whatever the hell I want and be a slut."

  • Ashley Randall (13:14)

• "What do you want to feel first? ...As opposed to, like, the things you do."

  • Amy (28:35)

• "Curiosity is super hot."

  • Ashley Randall (27:03)

• "What builds trust in relationships is rupture and repair."

  • Ashley Randall (35:42)

• "You need to be able to communicate. If you're playing in the deep end, you gotta learn how to swim first."

  • Ashley Randall (34:31)

• "You can start slow. You don't have to have the tools...You can just use bodies. In fact, some people are more into just using bodies and they don't want the tools."

  • Ashley Randall (51:21)

• "Please go at a slower pace than you think."

  • Ashley Randall (52:35)

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Resources Mentioned

• Negotiation and BDSM Checklists: Google “BDSM checklist” or “kink negotiation checklist” for starter templates (31:14)
• Workshops & Dungeons: Many local dungeons offer beginner events and classes for newbies (52:12)
• Ashley’s Offerings:
  • Irreverent Coaching
  • Irreverent Scents (Erotic Perfume)

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Timestamps for Key Segments

• 12:43 – 21:45: Ashley’s sexual journey/awakening and story of guiding a friend through bi/kink acceptance.
• 22:59 – 25:29: Defining kink, self-reflection about being “kinky”.
• 27:23 – 32:57: Tips for beginners—Start with feelings, practice slow communication, and introduce negotiation tools.
• 33:13 – 34:33: Practical examples—Cuckolding and spanking scenarios for newbies: how to start safely.
• 39:41 – 47:46: Top beginner kinks (threesomes, spanking, restraint), safety in practice.
• 48:00 – 51:38: DS dynamics, primal play, switch dynamics, and impact play basics.
• 52:12 – 53:50: Finding resources, going slow, and building your “adult play menu.”
• 54:26 – 59:48: Ashley’s coaching & pro.dom work, client types, boundaries as a provider.

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Memorable Moments

• The story of Amy’s "nipple healing" through gentle touch (16:14–17:44), a testament to the power of communication and body trust.
• The evolution of a friend from sexual shame to bold, bi exploring “submissive whore” under Ashley’s care (19:04–21:40).
• Clarification that kink is not inherently “hardcore” and usually starts with the basics—communication, permission, and safety.

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Conclusion & Next Steps

This episode is a deep, fun, and shame-free primer for anyone curious about kink. With real-life stories, practical guidance, and vulnerability from both host and guest, listeners are left with the encouragement and resources to start their own exploration—at their own pace and on their own terms. Ashley Randall stands as a resource for continued learning, and the hosts drive home the most important message: kink is personal, communication is key, and it’s never too late (or too soon) to start your journey.

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Learn more:

• Ashley Randall: Irreverent Coaching, Irreverent Scents
• Shameless Sex: shamelesssex.com

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Episode released every Tuesday. See you next week!

Transcript

[Amy]

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[April]

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[Amy]

Yes, and their denim is like wearing a cloud.

[April]

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[Amy]

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[April]

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[Amy]

It's made my summer wardrobe so much easier. And you also deserve some quints in your life too.

[April]

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[Ashley Randall]

a stereotype that the dominant just has to know everything. It's like, no, you have to also. The submissive also has to know what they want. That's their homework to bring to the table.

[Amy]

They just come in, like, just do me. I'm Amy.

[April]

I'm April.

[Amy]

Certified sex educators, sexperts of the year and bestselling authors.

[April]

And we're on a mission to help you have more spicy, connected and amazing shameless sex.

[Amy]

Welcome to the Shameless sex revolution. We're so close. It's like we have our own language. We're making sex and relationships shameless. To learn more, go to shamelesssex.com and

[April]

for 15% off, some of our favorite sex toys use code shameless sex. @PurePleasureshop.com you were listening to a pleasure podcast.

[Ashley Randall]

For more from our sex podcast collective,

[Amy]

visit pleasure podcasts.com well hello everyone.

[April]

Hey everybody.

[Amy]

Guess what?

[April]

What?

[Amy]

It was just your birthday, but we are actually recording this before your birthday. So it's a weird in between right now. But April got older.

[April]

I did.

[Amy]

She's a little older. Happy birthday too.

[April]

Thank you.

[Amy]

If anyone wants to send you birthday gifts, go to our Amazon wish list. It's in the link is in the show notes.

[April]

I am a very shy birthday person.

[Amy]

Yeah. You are. You're funny about birthdays.

[April]

Yeah. Awkward. I'm like, huh?

[Amy]

Well, you have to often be at a sex toy trade show for your birthday.

[April]

I was in a meeting for 12 hours.

[Amy]

Yeah.

[April]

On my birthday. No one knew it was my birthday cuz I didn't say a word. And I was like, this is the worst birthday.

[Amy]

Terrible birthday. Yeah. Then I made it a little extra terrible later that evening. Well, I brought some sass. This is why Amy quit drinking.

[April]

It happened.

[Amy]

One of the many reasons. I have a whole list.

[April]

Also.

[Amy]

I'm 41. It's just better this way. Anyway, so. Happy birthday, Chip. I love you. I love you very much. And all of our listeners, they send their love. I. I talk to all of them. You did not all of them. Yes.

[April]

Must have been a lot of work.

[Amy]

Yeah, it's great. This episode is with repe guest Ashley Randall, also known as the irreverent femme. She is a pro dom and so many other things. She also makes erotic perfume. And she was on episode 468 and that was all about men and dominance, how to become a more dominant man. Because she actually works with men to teach them about dominance. And that's not all she does. She works with all kinds of humans, couples, individuals. In this episode was inspired by that one. At the end of that episode, we talked about having her back to talk about kink for newbies, because we have a lot of listeners that are interested in kink, but you're not necessarily intermediate and advanced. You want to just learn some of the little, the, the biceps and how to dip your toes in. So.

[April]

Or maybe you don't think you're kinky, but you are.

[Amy]

A lot of people when they. Yeah, a lot of people hear things like, wait, maybe I am kinky. And what does Orpheus Black say, the way he defines kink? It's anything that deviates from the norm. Right. Something like that.

[April]

It could be your norm.

[Amy]

Yep.

[April]

Right. Not just the norm, because there is no actual normal.

[Amy]

So if you think anal sex is kinky, it's. You're kinky. It's just different for everyone.

[April]

High fiving and Eiffel towering is kinky. Is normal.

[Amy]

Yeah. Or normal. Yeah. Then that's normal. Exactly. So you'll learn all kinds of tips and tricks, including how to get started. How do you have that initial conversation about doing kinky things or exploring kink tools, tips, all that. So stay tuned and we'll get to this next question. But before this next question, we still have a few spots and in our Couples retreat coming up in October 2026. One is sold out, one is almost sold out. And if you are someone who is interested in kink, the whole retreat is not a sex party. And it's not all about kink. But we have workshops that are about how to get into kink. Sarah Tom Chesson will be teaching there. Again, she's amazing.

[April]

I think it's also important we have workshops and play shops.

[Amy]

Oh, yeah.

[April]

So it's not all work, work, work, work. It's also playful and fun and lots of relaxation time as well. So it can be a mini vacation that you're also taking away things to apply in your real life that you'll learn.

[Amy]

Yeah, exactly. Yes. So you learn actually too.

[April]

Things you're going to learn there. You'll keep learning.

[Amy]

You're going to learn, but you're going to have fun while doing it on vacay. So if you want to learn more about our retreats, go to shameless sucks dot com. I don't know. By the time this episode comes out, it might be sold out. So if you're interested, go get it right away because there were only a few spots left and this is in the the past. Talking about the future.

[April]

Yeah. October 2026, Palm Springs, everybody.

[Amy]

Yeah. Yes. Be nice and toasty.

[April]

Oh, yeah.

[Amy]

You ready for a sex question?

[April]

I am.

[Amy]

My boyfriend wants to try pegging and I'm game but have no idea where to start. I know I wear a strap on and air quotes. Do him anally. I like that. Do him. And we've had anal sex before with me as the receiver. So I know to go really slow at first. Any other tips I should know about good old pegging. So pegging for people who don't know what pegging is. Yes. People heard strap on. They probably just. Or like strap on play. It is when the owning individual wears a harness. So something that is around their hips and it's something that can also hold a dildo so that they can use that to thrust and penetrate someone anally. And pegging is the penis owner is the one getting done. We're getting pegged. Getting as we shall say. Or maybe it's. Maybe it's not. Maybe it's making love, you know?

[April]

Yeah. We had a whole episode in pegging with.

[Amy]

Wasn't it rain to gray? Yeah, back.

[April]

Back a few years ago.

[Amy]

Yes.

[April]

And that one was.

[Amy]

I'm going to look it up right now.

[April]

We also, we have a chapter or a section in our book about pegging as well. There's a lot of our book has everything. It does. It really does. And there's. There's instructional videos you can probably pay for. I'm sure Erica or Erica Lust.

[Amy]

Yeah. Also probably has content actually on our website. So we have sex ed classes on our website that is either filmed with April and I just myself or some other educators. There actually is a strap on sex 101 workshop there that rain degree taught. So you can watch that and basically be taking the class from your own home. If you want to listen to the whole episode with her, it's episode 210. It's called strap on sex 101 with rain de Gray. And just some quick pointers. Yes, you are. Yes, you're wearing a strap on, also known as a harness. And you're going to have a dildo, some hard dildo of some size and shape that you're going to use to penetrate your partner dildo. The harness itself, I really, really, really love the brand. Spare parts. They make some of the best harnesses on the market. Leather harnesses are great, but they're hard to clean. You kind of get sweaty under them.

[April]

Sometimes chafing happens.

[Amy]

Ching. Yeah.

[April]

And those are machine washable. The spare parts are machine washable. They're almost like swimsuit material.

[Amy]

Yeah, there's comfortable, they look sexy. They give you all the qualities that you want in a harness. They're a little more on the pricey side, but it's worth it. It's a. It's a harness that you'll have for many years. And there's different models. I'm a huge fan of the jock so style harness by spare parts. But also I like the thong style, but the thong style is less available these days. I think it was called the Theo and you have to like wearing thongs. Not everyone likes wearing thongs. But spare parts, fantastic harnesses. You can get that in anything we talk about@sh shamelessx purepleasureshop.com that's a sex shop that I co own with my mom. She runs it. And if you use coupon code Shameless sex, you get 15% off for the dildo. I don't have a specific brand in mind for you, but so many choices. So many choices. But I think for beginner anal play, you want something that is smooth and the tip is a little more narrow than the body of it. So like a little bit of a tapered tip. If it's like veiny and has it like a big bulbous head, that could be kind of irritating going in and out. For newbies like people who are more experienced, whatever, like, give me that, give me that dick. It doesn't matter how many it is.

[April]

It is good to have a tapered head. And also it's good if it's good material. Don't buy something that's rubber or that if it says it's TPE or it's, you know, some sort of. There, there are plastics.

[Amy]

Oh yeah.

[April]

It can grow bacteria. So make sure it's silicone, medical grade silicone. That way you can clean it properly.

[Amy]

Yeah, yeah. And Everything@Pure Pleasureshop.com will have medical grade, high quality silicone. If your sex toy smells like something like Plasticky, don't put it in or near your body because that's going to go in your bloodstream. And again, pure pleasure doesn't carry anything like that. And there's a lot of things like that on the market. So those are some of your top things. And then also lube though, and you probably know this because you've this person, you've done anal sex, you've been a receiver of anal. Anal sex. But the ass does not lubricate itself. Although I met someone who said that theirs did. But so we're going to say it really isn't good at lubricating itself. And so you want to use a high quality lube for anal sex and all sex. We are huge fans of Uber Lube for everything. And technically speaking, you're not supposed to use Uber Lube with silicone toys. And just from us, I won't speak on behalf of Uber Lube, the company. I use Uber Lube with my silicone toys. I just wash it right away. And because this is anal, I'm assuming you're going to be responsible and wash your toys right away because it's the butt. And also if not, then if you want to use a water base though pure makes a really good anal water.

[April]

You are.

[Amy]

Yeah, Pure Pjur. Yeah, they have a anal water based lube. Again, you can get all this at pure pleasure. But yeah, Uber lube. Ride or die.

[April]

Don't let it marinate like a steak.

[Amy]

No, it has a lube on it. No. Or just anything anal should not be marinating like a steak. It's not just. No, don't do that. Yes.

[April]

And also maybe get one of the, like a throw like the fascinator waterproof blanket in black. In black, yeah, yeah.

[Amy]

In case there's traces.

[April]

Right.

[Amy]

Because like, yeah, that's another question people ask, like what if poop happens? And that's. It's A whole nother conversation. But what we say is if you're going to play in the mud, you might get dirty and, you know, the ass itself or sorry, the rectum doesn't hold poop that's higher up. But, you know, if you're about to have a bowel movement, it does. And sometimes traces happen. So that's why we like those darker colored waterproof blankets, the fascinator throw again. You can get that PurePleasureshop.com and they have a travel size, too. Yeah, it's travel season right now.

[April]

You know, there's a lot of benefits to pegging, too, from, like, a penis owner.

[Amy]

Oh, yeah.

[April]

It can help prevent prostate issues, cancer issues. So I'm really excited that they're gonna try this.

[Amy]

Yeah. Good for your partner for wanting to exercise their ass. They have, like, basically a G spot. Powerhouse in there.

[April]

Yeah.

[Amy]

Like, why not do this? The poo spot. Yeah.

[April]

All right, you ready for a bio?

[Amy]

Yes, I am.

[April]

Ashley Randall, also known as irreverent femme, is a certified sex, intimacy and kink coach, dominatrix, and erotic perfumist offering transformative coaching for individuals and partners seeking deeper intimacy, sexual confidence, and authentic connection. To learn more, go to irreverent coaching.com.

[Amy]

All right, everyone, it is interview time. And we are not in the shameless sex studio. We are not in Santa Cruz, California, anymore, Toto. We are in Los Angeles. We're actually in Burbank, California, in person when I say we. April is energetically here with me, and she's here in. In spirit. We love you, April. She's still at the trade show, the sex toy trade show we were just at. And so I am here with repeat guest and dear friend Ashley Randall. I do not remember the episode number when you guessed it before. I know it was about men and learning how to be dominant. And I will put the link in the show notes to that one because it was an epic episode. And even if people have heard that episode. Welcome to Shameless Ex once again, Ashley. Thank you. Good to see you in person.

[Ashley Randall]

Yes.

[Amy]

And if you could tell us and our listeners once again about how you got into the field of sexuality. How are you? You're a pro dom. You're a perfumist. You were a sex and relationship coach.

[Ashley Randall]

Yeah, I think. Well, started when I was younger. I grew up mostly in Dallas, Texas, a little more socially conservative area. Even though, you know, oh, well, it's fine, but. And I saw people having not the best communication. People kind of walked around like, this is my role. I must Fulfill it. And noticing how, you know, how I'm being socialized as a female. I'm being told, little girl, stay in your box. Be cute and pretty, but not too slutty or sexy. And I was just like, I don't like that.

[Amy]

I'm gonna be a big old slut.

[April]

Yeah.

[Amy]

When I grow up, I'm gonna be a slut.

[April]

Yeah.

[Ashley Randall]

Don't tell me what to do. And I'm gonna do over the head, I want and be a slut.

[Amy]

And were you that kid who was like, don't touch the fire and then you want to put your finger in it?

[Ashley Randall]

I. I did touch the stove at least once.

[Amy]

Okay. Yeah, me too.

[Ashley Randall]

My mom said no, and I did it.

[Amy]

That's what you get.

[Ashley Randall]

I've learned more since then.

[Amy]

Yes. Of course we don't do that anymore.

[Ashley Randall]

Yeah. But, you know, kind of growing up and just noticing how a lot of things didn't make sense to me, and it felt like people weren't actually having what felt like the in depth kind of communication and relationships that I would want. And I was like, that doesn't feel right to me. And so, you know, I went through life struggling, trying to figure out, you know, what job I wanted to do in the background. I always wanted be in psychology and helping people understand that. And that morphed into wanting to teach people how to not have shame about what they're into. And early on I. I like to joke that, you know, my first job was at Hot Topic. And so it's kind of like, oh, that's kind of a marker.

[Amy]

Her. That was like your intro into. Yeah, yeah. The alternative world.

[Ashley Randall]

Yeah. And I think I said last time, like, oh, I get to beckon people to the dark side. And I still get to do that

[Amy]

today in a whole different way. Yeah.

[Ashley Randall]

And it's wonderful. We have cookies and flogging and you have cookies and vlogging. Yeah, it's great.

[Amy]

Make vlogging sounds so cute and joyful. It is. I mean, it can be.

[Ashley Randall]

Yeah, it can be definitely cute and joyful. So it's spanking and, you know, degradation

[Amy]

and I don't think all the above.

[Ashley Randall]

I love being a mommy, though.

[April]

Yeah.

[Ashley Randall]

Mommy Dom.

[Amy]

Oh, Mommy Dom. Are you. That's. Is that. That's always your role? Mommy Dom.

[Ashley Randall]

That's been one of my favorites.

[Amy]

Okay. One of the many roles. Okay, so. So before we get into the like the now the that, let's talk about the then of you as a younger person figuring all this out. Did you always know that you Were a kinky person or how did you discover that you were a kinky person? How. What did that look like?

[Ashley Randall]

I think, well, growing up too, I also did martial arts and so I liked just being a little more animalistic and rough. And then as an adult, I continued or picked up martial arts again and found that like, oh, I like rough sex. No way.

[Amy]

Yeah.

[Ashley Randall]

Tossing people around, being tossed around, kind of that back and forth was fun. And I discovered that with a partner that I then started my non monogamous journey with actually about 13 years ago, a little more than that, actually, and realized, oh, wait, there's more to sex than just, you know, positions. And, you know, basically that's what we're

[Amy]

taught from like here and touch there. Yeah.

[Ashley Randall]

And mechanics.

[Amy]

Yeah, yeah.

[Ashley Randall]

To push. Yeah. There's so many wonderful things that we can say and do and energies we can bring. And so I realized also that I think I'm a dominant and I really enjoy that side of the slash. Yeah. So I did that. And then I realized I wanted to help people be again, be able to talk about these things. And so I, you know, enrolled in the sex and intimacy coaching program that we met at.

[Amy]

At Somatica.

[April]

Yeah.

[Amy]

Because as you're saying 13 years ago is when you discover more about your kink. And that was 10 years ago that we were in Somatica together. Yeah, right. It was 2016.

[Ashley Randall]

2016.

[Amy]

When you healed my nipples. She healed my nipples.

[Ashley Randall]

I did.

[Amy]

This episode is not about healing nipples. It's about kink for newbies. Curious folks. But she healed my nipples. I still remember that.

[Ashley Randall]

I was so stride. I knew that was so much fun.

[Amy]

You needed a trophy for that. Like, I healed her nipples. I gave her two more clits. It was part an exercise as part of Somatica. Somatica is amazing. They actually, I believe, are wrapping up or maybe halfway through their spring training there where they train sex and relationship coaches. That's what Ashley and I did. And then they have another one coming up in fall. So if you're interested in taking their program, go check out Somatica. They're amazing. And maybe you too will learn how to heal nipples. So it was a practice during. Where we're. During the training where we're learning how to be coaches. And one of the exercises was, was it touching for your pleasure? Asking for what you. Something about asking for what you want.

[Ashley Randall]

Asking for what you want. You were teaching me.

[Amy]

Okay, so you were touching me and it's all fully clothed. And you were wrapping, like taking your hands around My breasts. Because that's what I had said. Like, I want you to just swirl your hands around my breast. And I was not a nipple person. I found nipple stimulation irritating. Like, what are you doing? Stop doing this. This is like just kind of pokey and too much. And then I had.

[Ashley Randall]

Trusted me.

[Amy]

I know, because then I had her. Now I want you. That kind of feels good. Now I'm going to swirl around my nipples. And I think I even had a bra.

[Ashley Randall]

And I was like, wow, my nipples is very thin. Bra.

[Amy]

Yeah, it was a thin bra. Yes. There was nipples, nipple action. And then I was. My nipples feel amazing. And then all of a sudden I like nipple stimulation. It was incredible. So thank you for that.

[April]

So I still.

[Amy]

I actually lost it for a little bit. There's a time period where I had a grieving process because I accidentally got pregnant on the iud. When you're pregnant, often your nipples turn to razors. So you gave me two clits for nipples and then pregnancy made them two razors. And then after that they were just dead enough inside. And then they. They've been back online. So I still give you credit. You still. I still have three clits because of you. Thank you. Continue. Very well.

[Ashley Randall]

Yeah. So trained with the sex and intimacy program Somatica, which was wonderful. And then I trained as a dominatrix as well with another program because I had clients that were coming in that were just coming in saying, I want you to dominate me. And I'm going, okay, hang on. I need to figure out how to be, you know, ethical about this and responsible. And so I want some more training in that. And so I went and did that. And now I've had a personal submissive for probably seven or eight years now, I think.

[Amy]

And personal submissive is a paid client or like a lover.

[Ashley Randall]

So it's a non professional relationship.

[Amy]

Okay.

[Ashley Randall]

So it's not paid.

[Amy]

Okay.

[Ashley Randall]

They're someone that started as a friend and then we stumbled into being, you know, I'll tell the story. So. Yeah, yeah, it's a great story. I think it's a great intro into explaining what kink and power dynamics can be.

[Amy]

Yeah.

[Ashley Randall]

What it can do. And so. And I have permission to say this from him.

[Amy]

Good, thank you.

[Ashley Randall]

And his wife. I just don't name them, of course.

[Amy]

They who shall not be named.

[Ashley Randall]

Yes. So I remember he came up to me one day and he said, hey, you're a sex coach, right? And I said, yeah. Oh, okay. I realize this is a big moment for him. He's about to tell Me or ask something really important. And he said, okay, well, I identify as a straight guy and I'm like, okay. He says, what if, what if I like the sight of a cock? And I said, oh, well, why don't you go ask some guys to look at their cocks? I can do it. You can do that? He goes, okay, great. And so like two weeks later, he comes back and he said, what if I want to put it in my mouth? And I said, well, go put it in your mouth after asking.

[Amy]

Ask about that. Then try.

[Ashley Randall]

Then try. And so it escalated over, you know, quite a while. And he, you know, he came over and I pulled out my wrestling mats, you know, so I wrapped him up, you know, for fun, you know, of course, after negotiation and in, we started more of a, you know, a dominant and submissive dynamic because we're getting to know each other over time slowly. And it turns out it was, I was helping him have permission to go be by and enjoy having sex with men. And so now he'll, you know, he calls me mommy now and he'll text me. He's like, mommy, I'm going to this guy's house, you know, permission to be, you know, a big filthy whore for you. And I said, my gosh, yes, you go be a dirty little slut and make mommy proud. You know, we role play. Go make mommy money.

[Amy]

You know, that's so cute.

[Ashley Randall]

So it's, it's really fun. And sometimes he'll even say, can I call you when he's with these guys? Cuz they need permission too. And so I just dom them all through the phone.

[Amy]

Oh my gosh. Phone doming? Yeah.

[Ashley Randall]

I'm like, are you scared to put your dick in my dirty little sluts hole? You know, and, and it's, it's actually really.

[Amy]

All of them are nutting their pants. This is why, as you say that. Yeah.

[Ashley Randall]

And it's, it's actually quite loving because he's so scared that a lot of he's still attracted to women too. And he's scared that a lot of

[Amy]

women won't find him attractive because he's bi.

[Ashley Randall]

Yeah.

[Amy]

Oh, interesting. I'd be stoked. I'd be like, yes.

[April]

Yeah.

[Ashley Randall]

Like, so exciting.

[April]

You know what?

[Ashley Randall]

This is like, this is great.

[Amy]

It's amazing.

[Ashley Randall]

You can relate on so many things, you know.

[Amy]

Yeah.

[Ashley Randall]

And so for him, it's given him the permission to get out of his own way and enjoy something that he feels shame about. Yeah. So, yeah. And now he and his wife are both like, they have the Best sex life ever. And they, you know, in open marriage and have fun and encourage each other. He texted me the other night, he's like, I'm watching her get railed right now. I'm like, oh my gosh, I'm so

[Amy]

happy for you both, you know, that's so sweet.

[Ashley Randall]

So they're just living their best life.

[Amy]

And so that's a good example of like, of he was new then. Like he. And he didn't even really know that he was submissive at that moment. When he came to, that was like an uncovering of his bisexuality. Oh, I'm also really enjoying being a submissive in a submissive role. So for our shameless sex listeners, you know, the majority of our listeners who are, well, they're either, they're kink curious, right? We have some that of y' all listening out there that are more experienced, maybe more intermediate. But I'd say the majority either maybe are not into kink or kink curious. Right? They're more in that newbie space. We also have a lot of this really common for our listenership to be long term couples. We're in that more curious phase. They're like, especially like spicing things up or we've been together for a long time. Who are we sexually now or who have we ever been? Maybe because we never tried to explore that. So kind of speaking more to those people. So if I was someone who was curious, one if. Am I a kinky person or I have a feeling maybe that I am. There's like a couple things that I feel like, huh, that's. Is that kinky? Am I a kinky person? Like what, what would be your advice to help me uncover that more? And I guess we need to define what kind of what kink is to start.

[Ashley Randall]

I was about to say that. Yeah. So yeah, kink is a relative term. So, you know, what may be kinky, you know, to me may not be kinky to you. Like kinky in my definition is anything outside of the mainstream or that is, you know, new and kind of edgy,

[Amy]

which that creates a lot of options.

[Ashley Randall]

It really does. Yeah. And so, so something that, you know, I might find, might find kinky that somebody else, you know, who's, you know, into, you know, maybe some more hardcore

[Amy]

things like, like anal fisting or something. Yeah, yeah, love it. Yeah. Good for you. Yeah, yeah, yeah, we're down.

[Ashley Randall]

Use lots of lube, please.

[Amy]

Yeah, lots. Uber lubes. Yes, yes, we love uber lube. Long lasting, great for anal play and all kinds of other Play.

[Ashley Randall]

So what is kinky is relative. So just what's a little more edgy or out of your normal comfort zone is considered kink. Kink play.

[Amy]

Yeah. I remember Orus Black just defined just as that it's anything that deviates from the norm. I'm like, well, that. Okay, that's a lot of options because. And then it's also, though. What is your idea of the norm, though? So it's different for everyone because for some people, anal sex, let's say, is part of your norm sex. Like, oh, that's just normal. Whereas for someone else, that's their kinky sex. Yeah. And so there isn't one. One right away. And so. And I think for a lot of people who are like, am I kinky? I'm a kinky. They can either be on one side, like, I hope I'm not, because that makes me wild and crazy and different. We encourage you to be kinky. It's very exciting when you are. Yeah. And then, you know, on the other side, there's the people that you know when. When you do discover that you are kinky, one adds more think options to the menu to your play. Makes it more exciting. And it's so liberating. Like, what. Whether you're a label person or not, you don't have to be like, hey, world, I'm kinky. I'm a dom. I'm a sub. I'm, you know, whatever. And you can do that if you want to. I know that for me, when I really uncovered more about my kinkiness and. And then also, like, took that on for myself, like, I'm a kinky person, I felt. I felt like a badass. I love it. Yeah, yeah. Yeah.

[Ashley Randall]

Because, like, you're saying it's so. Liberty. I was gonna say it's so freeing. Like, it's, you know, the. You have so many. It's infinite possibilities of how you can play and what you can play with and.

[Amy]

Yeah.

[Ashley Randall]

And so, you know, it's really when people are wondering, am I kinky? It's like, we already have the curiosity, so probably yes.

[Amy]

Yeah.

[Ashley Randall]

You will do kinky things.

[Amy]

Yeah. If someone says is like, I think I might be kinky. I'm curious if I am. The answer is going to be yes.

[Ashley Randall]

Probably yes.

[Amy]

Because you're already thinking, I'm into something that's outside of the norm.

[Ashley Randall]

Yeah.

[Amy]

Yeah.

[April]

Okay. Amy, quick question. How wet are you right now?

[Ashley Randall]

Ha.

[Amy]

Well, on a scale of 1 to 10. Depends on the day, honestly. But that is exactly why we keep talking about Soaking Wet from VB Health.

[April]

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[Amy]

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[April]

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[Amy]

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[April]

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[Amy]

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[Ashley Randall]

I mean, I think curiosity is super hot.

[Amy]

Yeah. Curiosity is so hot.

[Ashley Randall]

Yeah.

[Amy]

Lack of curiosity, opposite of hot. Or. Or like, I guess, I guess openness. But. But like, openness doesn't mean you have to be down for everything I'm into or down for everything. It's just I'm open to learning more and maybe exploring more. It just really depends on the things.

[Ashley Randall]

Yeah. And I think a lot of people, when they get into kink, they. I see a lot of partners that come to see me.

[Amy]

Yeah.

[Ashley Randall]

They will say like, okay, we want to do like the craziest thing, like

[Amy]

right away, right off the bat. Yeah.

[Ashley Randall]

Yeah. And I've had people that have said, okay, well we did a cuckold scenario and it was with humiliation. Like, did you talk about this beforehand?

[Amy]

It didn't go well, did it? No, that's what happens with it. So the cruise I was just on, I talked to a couple couples who, they're having an amazing time on this Hedonism meets clamor cruise by killing kittens. But it seemed like a couple people I was talking to that especially more in the swinger community or people who just start to try kink. They don't have the conversations before. Often.

[Ashley Randall]

Sometimes.

[Amy]

Or often. I guess I'll go more often than sometimes about like, what do we want? What do we need? What are the boundaries? And then they go, you know, they get intoxicated. They're like all of a sudden pick up someone at a bar, they have the weird 3. Not the weird threesome, but that, you know, awkward or some experience that doesn't feel good. And the same thing often happens for kink. So is one of the tips like, start small, slow and small, not with the big thing. Talk about it. Yeah.

[Ashley Randall]

And what I'll say is, like, what do you want to do? And start with, okay, what do you

[Amy]

want to feel first more important question, as opposed to, like, the things you do. Yeah.

[Ashley Randall]

And those are. Yeah, yeah, exactly. But, yeah, what do you want to feel and what do you not want to feel? So a lot of people in my practice that I. I talk about just, like, very basic fundamentals. What are your core erotic themes? What do you. What are the emotions, the feelings you want to have satiate in this? And so, like, I'll say for my sub, it was. He wanted to. Well, he wanted the permission to be bi. He wanted to feel attractive.

[Amy]

Attractive.

[Ashley Randall]

Attractive.

[Amy]

Yeah.

[Ashley Randall]

And he wanted to feel like a big old ho. To be bi and slutty.

[Amy]

Yeah.

[Ashley Randall]

And so that's what he wanted to feel.

[Amy]

And I think when you're saying that I, like, my brain instantly went to feeling desired and freedom. But. But, like, that's just my words. Right. And I think part of that, the. The theme is, like, you get to decide what that is for you because only you know you and how you feel and what you want and how you want to feel.

[Ashley Randall]

Yeah. And I say, and to go into both sides of the slash, so dominant and submissive side. So for him, I realized that's what he wanted to feel. And so my dawn brand coming online was going, oh, okay. I feel really special and important to this person. And like, that for me, I. That's so important to me. I want that deep connection with somebody, and I get to take care of them that way. Yeah. And so I get to.

[Amy]

Seems like a good fit. Oh, yeah.

[April]

So.

[Ashley Randall]

So that's why we're still, like, in this relationship to this day. Yeah. Because, you know, we. We really deeply care for each other's friends too. And that's what I want in a. In a DS relationship is, you know, I do want to say, like, getting to kink. You have to be able to talk to your partner. Yeah, partner. And I'll get to that in a second. But I just think, so knowing what you want to feel, both of you. And I think commonly in King also, there's kind of a stereotype that the dominant just has to know everything. It's like, no, you have to. Also, the submissive also has to Know what they want? That's their homework.

[Amy]

Yeah.

[Ashley Randall]

To bring to the table.

[Amy]

You're just coming like, just do me.

[Ashley Randall]

Yeah.

[Amy]

I don't know what I want, but just do me. That sounds dangerous.

[Ashley Randall]

Yeah. And I'll have people come to me professionally asking me to be their dominatrix and they'll say, well, whatever you want, mistress. And I go, okay, hang on. I don't know anything about you. So that doesn't work right. Right away.

[Amy]

Like.

[Ashley Randall]

Yeah, so I need, I need to slowly build with people to feel safe playing with them. It's important to me. So in playing with a play partner, please understand what you want together. You know, and there's. There's whole lists out there, of course of like the negotiation checklists.

[Amy]

Yeah.

[Ashley Randall]

Please look at those online. They're. They're really important.

[Amy]

Yeah. It's not hard to find. Just like Google search. Yeah. Negotiate like what would usually look to like kinky kink relationship of negotiation checklists or just relationship checklists. BDSM checklist. Look that up. There you go.

[Ashley Randall]

So know what you want, know what you don't want. What does that sound like? What are the words? What's the tone? What are the act? Then what are the actions? You know, what is that then? Yeah. How does that play out? So understand what those things are before you jump in. Please don't just jump in and then yeah. Without, you know, and just think everything's going to be fine.

[Amy]

So don't go right for the full cut Golding experience there. Maybe like if we took that scenario like so someone just does it. Create an example. Because cuckolding is actually super common. Yes. Like some of our top episodes are about cuck and we can put this in the tags and so some of you will listen to this. So in cuckolding it's generally the man, the penis owner person who is enjoying feeling some feelings of like humiliation or dead dead degree. You're good at this degree. And with their female pussy only partner engaging with someone else and because humiliation is not always a part of it. Right. It generally is, but not always.

[Ashley Randall]

Yeah. That's normally what I hear from.

[Amy]

Okay.

[Ashley Randall]

Yeah, yeah. It could be many different flavors.

[Amy]

Yeah.

[Ashley Randall]

Of, you know, why are you sitting in the cuck chair?

[Amy]

Yeah. The cuckoo is. You're at the chair. Right. Like to say your wife is getting by some other dude and you're over in the corner watching. Or maybe your wife is some other dude and then she comes home and she's like, his was so much, much better than yours. Various examples of this, but like, so instead, just as an example of kink for newbies, and this is a big example, because a lot of you listening, you're like, I just want to try spanking for the first time. Good for you.

[Ashley Randall]

It's amazing.

[Amy]

Good for you. So, like, let's do for both of those. Let's say for spanking, let's talk about the cuck scenario or spanking scenario. I'm new and we're gonna try this thing. But where should we start? Since we're new, let's start do cuck first. Then we'll go to spanking, since that's a common one.

[Ashley Randall]

Well, why does she want to be by somebody else?

[Amy]

Oh, yeah, it's important.

[Ashley Randall]

What do you want to feel as you're looking at them? How do you want them to be looking at you? What tone are they com. Are they engaging with you at all in any way?

[Amy]

Do you exist?

[Ashley Randall]

Yeah. Do you exist?

[Amy]

Are they making. Intentionally trying to make you feel like you don't exist? Yeah.

[Ashley Randall]

What about that is turning you on and what will make you come take you out of this, seen completely and make you feel bad?

[Amy]

Yeah. And then how do you communicate when you start to feel if something. You start to feel like this is too much. Like, what do you do? Do you get to wave a hand like our editor over here?

[Ashley Randall]

Yeah.

[Amy]

What's your.

[Ashley Randall]

What's your. Say safe word or signal? Yeah, a lot of people use red, yellow, green. Just like a traffic light. It's really common. Yeah.

[Amy]

I've been the cup chair, and I'm like, red. That's like, stop, slow down.

[Ashley Randall]

Yeah. Yellow can be. Slow down. Green. Just keep going. And you can always check, check in. A lot of people are scared to check in.

[Amy]

Yeah. Like, I'm gonna ruin the scene. The same thing with, like, putting on a condom. Like, it's gonna ruin everything. So I don't use the condom. Pretty sure that only takes, like, a couple seconds.

[April]

Yeah.

[Amy]

Okay.

[Ashley Randall]

I have a big opinion about that. I think people who. I understand you, you can be taken out of the moment a little bit with that, but I think you can get back in. You can.

[Amy]

It might take some time, work and energy, but, like, you're capable.

[Ashley Randall]

That's okay.

[Amy]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Ashley Randall]

If you're. If.

[April]

Okay.

[Ashley Randall]

If you're playing in the deep end, you gotta learn how to swim first.

[Amy]

So it's like when I say for anal, if you're gonna play in the mud, you might get dirty. Yes.

[April]

Yeah.

[Ashley Randall]

Like, let's all be mature. This is some. Like, this is High skill stuff.

[Amy]

Yeah.

[Ashley Randall]

Like, you can't just be like, oh, it's gonna ruin the moment. Like, that's kind of. I'm gonna judge it. I'm gonna call it immature.

[Amy]

Yeah.

[Ashley Randall]

I'm gonna say, hey, get over it. Like, you need to be able to communicate.

[Amy]

Well, this connects to what you were saying before about, like, you have to. If you're gonna. Going to start exploring or engaging in kinky sex or interactions with your partner. One of the main things is like, you. You really need to know how to have conversations about sex. And a lot of people don't know or don't either. Don't know how to. Or they're just terrified. They're uncomfortable.

[Ashley Randall]

Yeah.

[Amy]

So they either try to bypass it. Do as little as possible.

[Ashley Randall]

That. I think it's a great word for bypassing. A lot of people do that. They. They're like you said, scared to talk about it.

[Amy]

Yeah. I would just be. I'll be fine.

[Ashley Randall]

I'll just be fine. Yeah. I'll just. I'll just like, just shove it down. Like, don't do that. Please don't do that.

[Amy]

Don't do that. Because then that's like more rupture to deal with later. And then also, let's try to avoid rupture in general. Yeah, why not?

[Ashley Randall]

I mean, it will happen at some point. Yeah.

[Amy]

But like, if we, if we have the tools to be preventative. Yeah, let's use them.

[Ashley Randall]

Let's try.

[Amy]

Exactly.

[Ashley Randall]

I completely agree with that. And. And so. And one of the things that also, you know, as I think we both know, that builds trust in relationships is rupture and repair. Oh, yeah.

[Amy]

So like, that could actually be a good thing because. Well, with the repair, if you do rupture with our repair. Okay. We're not building the relationship. We get the repair part and we're getting. Getting skilled in that. Then like. Yeah. Deeper connection. And.

[Ashley Randall]

And I remember, you know, with many of the subs that I played with that I remember specifically one, he came back to me and I. And I had done something. It was. It was some financial domination. And I went out with a partner and I thought we. I had thought we. I'd said, in a negotiation, do you feel good pain for a partner and I to go out? And he said, yes, but somehow that got twisted. Yeah.

[April]

From.

[Ashley Randall]

From my recollection. And the next time he came in, he said, hey, mistress, I'm. I'm sorry. I. Was I paying for two people? I said, yes. And. And we had. So he's like, oh, I Didn't I said, oh my goodness. Okay. And so we, we know, we talked about it. We repaired. Yeah. And then he, he actually then started liking that idea. So he got turned on, actually. Probably because he felt safe talking about it though.

[Amy]

Yeah. So turn on can come from the con, the. Just the conversations themselves.

[Ashley Randall]

Yes. Yeah. But, but I think back to the point of, like, we do need to have a lot of communication skills built. You need to be able to talk about these. Don't just experience discomfort and don't talk about it like, yeah, please talk about all emotional twinges. Like, it's, it's really important because, you know, we're. When you're playing with something that's emotionally and psychologically and physically, you know, a bit more dangerous. I mean, sex in itself is. It's all risky. Honestly, it's like, yeah, yeah.

[Amy]

I mean, life is risky, but yeah, yeah. Sex itself, it is.

[Ashley Randall]

And I think one thing about BDSM and, you know, King play, especially when you go to dungeons, they want. A lot of them have intros for new people, for newbies. Yeah. And it's like BDSM 101. It's like, okay, how do you talk about what you want? How do you negotiate? And I think that is, everyone should do that just across the board.

[Amy]

Even if you're not a kinky person, you should know how to do these

[Ashley Randall]

things because that's applicable to sex and whatever you define sex as. But yeah, so I think those are some wonderful skills that just benefit everybody.

[Amy]

Yeah.

[Ashley Randall]

Especially need them to negotiate things that are potentially playing with more, you know, in depth, emotional content, psychological.

[Amy]

Yeah, yeah. And if you're someone who, when people ask like, how do I learn how to be a better communicator in sex? My question, my first question is always, how are your communication skills in general, meaning anything even just outside of sex, Having hard conversations, deep conversations, talking about your hopes, wants, dreams, desires, things you don't want that are not related to sex. And, and when I say that to people, they're often like, huh, yeah, that's not pretty that good either. Um, yeah. So let's start there. Right? And like, there's so many ways to learn how to communicate. A lot of people want to communicate in ways that are more, you know, loving. I don't want to hurt people's feelings. I don't want to disappoint people. You're going to disappoint people. People get disappointed. But like, some easy ways to learn how to communicate would be like non violent communication. There's a lot of different modalities. You can listen to audiobooks, you can take workshops and then carry that over into. Into sex. Then you start to practice that with sex. But yeah, just having a basic foundation for communication skills is to start practicing that. The word negotiation always pops up. Relationships in general are a constant dance of negotiation.

[Ashley Randall]

They really are.

[Amy]

And if you're not doing that, that means you're. You're really not like being curious with each other or stating boundaries or sharing a lot of yourself.

[Ashley Randall]

You're making too many assumptions, in my

[Amy]

opinion, which, you know, we know what happens with assumptions. Something about an ass. You.

[April]

Me.

[Amy]

Not analplay. Different kind. Yeah. Not the fun kind.

[Ashley Randall]

There's expectations and they go unmet.

[Amy]

Yes.

[Ashley Randall]

And.

[Amy]

Yeah.

[Ashley Randall]

Yeah. And rupture with. Yeah. Probably no repair.

[Amy]

And what about. So, okay, so let's talk about. What do you think are some of the most common newbie kinks? Like people are interested, like the top things that newbies are on their list of exploring. I'm going to just say threesomes right off the bat. Like we already. We know that's like a huge one. Some people would be like, that's not kinky. But again, you get to define what it is. So some form of non monogamy threesomes is on the list.

[Ashley Randall]

Yeah. Some people will call that kinky. Absolutely. Yeah, yeah. I say spanking and bondage. So restraint.

[Amy]

Yeah, yeah. Restraint play, which can be so many things. Yeah.

[Ashley Randall]

So impact and. And bondage.

[Amy]

Yeah, yeah, Impact. Yeah. And bondage play. And then there's the. I can't tell you how many people I've heard. So primarily women saying like, I want my man to be more dominant. That's why we did this other episode with you before. Or men wanting to be more dominant. Or. So I've met so many men. Like I'm a dom. And then when I talk to them, like you actually really aren't. You're. You're just a controlling person so that who would know who. You don't have skills or.

[Ashley Randall]

It's just this. I'm trying to perpetuate this ideal of what I'm supposed to be as a man.

[Amy]

Yeah.

[Ashley Randall]

And I'm masculine this way. It's like actually you're just kind of being a brute.

[Amy]

Yeah, totally. Yeah, yeah.

[Ashley Randall]

And I say that with love.

[Amy]

With love.

[Ashley Randall]

You deal with a lot.

[Amy]

Yes, exactly. Well. And I'm for. In my part of my kink Persona, I discovered in my 20s that I was more submissive person. And then it was my 30s that I discovered One of my submissive roles is to be a brat. And so yeah, the brat, she's really annoying, she's defiant. But the brat is a great way to test a true dom. Because whenever I encounter doms and they're like, I'm a dom. I'm like, okay, well let's see how much of a dom you really are. Because if you can handle my brattiness, because someone who is not trained in it doesn't mean you have to be like a brat tamer. Right. But more like the doms who can't, they're just like the people say they're a dom that can't handle my brattiness. They're really irritated with me. They're super frustrated because my job as a brat is to be like, well, you have to make me, you know, like things like that. Like, oh, you want me to bend over? I'm not going to. But I'm still submissive. I'm just being a brat.

[Ashley Randall]

Yeah.

[Amy]

And so there's the, the guys are like, I'm a dom. They're like, why are you. You're a sub. You're supposed to like do what I say. I'm like, well, obviously you've never met a brat before. A lot. And then, and sometimes they don't to want hang out with me. They're lost. I'm like, you're not a brat tamer. And that's a little more advanced kink. But yeah, that's my test for them. Just being myself.

[Ashley Randall]

Yeah.

[Amy]

Yeah. Travel season is here. Are you packing your pleasure or are you making the poor things stay home? Vacation is no time to ghost your favorite toy, y'.

[April]

All.

[Amy]

Luckily there are tons of travel friendly options that are compact, lightweight and discreet enough to tag along for the ride. My suitcase always has room for the We Vibe Touch X, a tiny super powerful and whisper quiet vibrator. Want something with a little less oomph? The Magic Wand Micro is a perfect travel companion. And if you're into a little undercover fun, The Crave Vesper 2 is a gorgeous necklace that just so happens to have a very exciting second job. And don't forget the Uber Lube. Good to goes. It's your favorite lube in a sleek little travel case that's ready whenever you are. And I seriously never leave home without it. Flying solo while your partner stays home. We Vibe's Bluetooth enabled toys let you keep the sparks flying from anywhere. Because the only thing that you should leave behind on vacation is stress, not your orgasms, y'. All. And to make things easier. You can find all of these at my mom's, yes, my mom's online sex [e-mail] plus use code shameless sex for 15 off. Again, go to PurePleasureshop.com then the category shameless sex then faves and use code shameless sex for 15% off. Travel, pleasure, and so much more. The link is in the show notes.

[April]

News flash everybody. We are picky about our lubes.

[Amy]

Can we say uber picky?

[April]

Yes, we can. And let me tell you all why. Uber Lube is our absolute favorite favorite lube ever. Uber Lube is a luxurious silicone lubricant that I want all over my body. Yes, it's designed for sex because it enhances intimacy while allowing you to still feel the skin on skin contact. But it feels so good that I want it everywhere. Uber Lube is long lasting, leaves your skin feeling velvety smooth and it's there when you want it, but then it dissipates when you're done.

[Amy]

Yes, aside from using Uber Loop for all of my sexy sessions and I use it all the time, I also use it for massages, for my hair fizzies, to prevent chafing and it brings out the color of your beautiful tattoos. Thousands of doctors and therapists in the US Alone are recommending Uber Lube to their patients because it's body friendly, less likely to change the pH, and has vitamin E so it feels moisturizing on the skin. Uber Lube has no flavor or scent, which means it's also great for oral sex. And it comes in a beautiful glass bottle with a pump top, which means easy access to pleasure town.

[April]

Want to see why we think Uber Lube is the best lube in the world? Then go to uber lube.com and use discount code shameless to get 10 off and free shipping. Again, that's U B E-R-L-U-B-E.com right now with code shameless for 10 off and free shipping.

[Amy]

So, okay, so we talked about spanking and then more like restraint play for people who are doing restraint play. Just if you're new to this and I'm someone who is into restraint play but not like ropes. I'm don't like, I'm not like into the elaborate art of. Yeah, of ropes, but some people are, they like the feeling of it, the look of it, the art of it, the sensations on the body. And yeah, for me it's more of like a submissive, just someone else is in control or in power. And so what would be your. So if you want to start with that too, because we get into restraints, we want to make sure it's safe.

[Ashley Randall]

Yes.

[Amy]

Yeah.

[Ashley Randall]

So when you're saying, you know, you want some, I think here you say you want somebody to take over, so. Yeah, you don't have to. You don't have to think.

[April]

Yeah.

[Ashley Randall]

Let go of responsibility. And that's one of the beautiful things about being in a subhead. Being submissive. Being submissive. Headspaces. You're the center of attention. Someone's taking care of you.

[Amy]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. So nice then. That's my love. That's my number 11. My theme is like to feel energetically and emotionally cared for. It doesn't have to be dominance and submission, but. But when I feel that and it comes with, like, respect, safety, and like, okay, yes, you've got this. If I have, like, crygasms or anger gasms or whatever, like, we're all good because you. You've got this anyways. And that's just me.

[Ashley Randall]

Yeah. So, no, that's a beautiful way to describe it. You're being taken care of and you get to release into all of this.

[Amy]

Yeah.

[Ashley Randall]

And your partner, ideally, lovingly, in the way that is loving to you. I'll say that.

[Amy]

Yes, exactly. Loving to you. Exactly.

[April]

It could look many different ways.

[Ashley Randall]

It could be degradation, humiliation, you know.

[Amy]

Yes. Yeah, no, that's not my thing.

[Ashley Randall]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. But so, yeah, the dom, the dominant or the person leading is taking care of you and they're responsible for you in that container. Yeah. And as we're talking about bondage, what can be really great about that is, you know, handcuffs are the usually the thing people think of, like, oh, kinky handcuffs.

[April]

Like.

[Ashley Randall]

Yes.

[Amy]

The metal ones really hurt. They're actually not very fun. So. Yeah, yeah. Unless you're into the pain.

[April]

Fair.

[Ashley Randall]

Yeah. Or.

[April]

Yeah.

[Ashley Randall]

The metal and the temperature play.

[Amy]

Yeah, yeah, exactly. There you go.

[Ashley Randall]

But what bondage and restraint can really do is help you turn your mind off, too. So if, you know, if you can't do anything insane. Oh, no. You have no choice but to receive.

[Amy]

Yeah.

[Ashley Randall]

Gives you more permission.

[Amy]

Poor me. Yeah.

[Ashley Randall]

Oh. Oh, no.

[Amy]

Yeah. Oh, no. I'm not in charge. And then there's like the idea of the pillow princess. Right. The. And I'm not. I'm not talking about in that sense. I'm not talking about talking about, like, oh, I just receive and you do all the doing. So I can be lazy. Like, I am getting some sort of, like, energetic experience out of it. And I'm still participating.

[Ashley Randall]

Yeah.

[Amy]

Right. Like, the. The subby person doesn't. It's not that they're, like, not actually participating or contributing or even, like, in some way, maybe guiding. Because they're also guiding with their boundaries, too.

[Ashley Randall]

Oh, absolutely.

[Amy]

Yeah.

[Ashley Randall]

That needs to be in the. That needs to be known.

[April]

What.

[Ashley Randall]

Their boundaries are very important. Important.

[Amy]

Yeah.

[Ashley Randall]

Part of negotiation, which we're not going into too much depth here. Please look it up more. Yeah. But also, it's also up to the dominant is to realize, okay, what do I want out of this scene too?

[Amy]

Totally. Yeah. Everyone gets some. It's like, everyone's important. Their needs are important. Yeah.

[Ashley Randall]

And. And I. I know I'll say for me, something I enjoy is I enjoy seeing the squirming.

[Amy]

And, like, you, like, I want them to square.

[Ashley Randall]

I, like, that's my status. That's comes out, like, I. I get hungry and I, like, start, like, just getting revved up and wanting to, like, feed off of, like, someone squirming around

[Amy]

and, like, so primal.

[Ashley Randall]

Yeah, that's me.

[Amy]

Yeah. I mean. Yeah, I love it.

[Ashley Randall]

I also. I also love primal play as well. Just with the background of martial arts.

[Amy]

Yeah.

[Ashley Randall]

Really fun for me. And that's very passionate, too, and just aggressive.

[April]

It's great.

[Amy]

And when they're squirming, they're like. I mean, it's. This is like an in pleasure. And they're like. They're extreme experiences. It's a positive squirming.

[Ashley Randall]

Yes and no.

[Amy]

Yes and no. Okay.

[Ashley Randall]

It depends on what we're doing. So if I love. With my personal partners, making them just kind of lose their mental faculties and just completely lose composure. Because I'm. I usually partner with mostly Dom leaning switches, because that's what I am.

[April]

Yeah.

[Ashley Randall]

And so we'll both kind of like, we'll switch back and forth.

[Amy]

Yeah.

[Ashley Randall]

Dominant. But I like restraining them and just watching them, like, their brain melt. And, like, I do, like. I do, like, you know, giving pain. It's more professional relationships that enjoy pain from me.

[Amy]

Yeah. Not like your loverships and things.

[Ashley Randall]

Yeah. That's what I found.

[Amy]

We're getting paid to give the pain consensually.

[Ashley Randall]

Yeah. And with that, especially with them doing, like, some impact play, I have a client that I like doing CBT and ball torture. Not. Not.

[Amy]

No, not the therapy.

[Ashley Randall]

No, no.

[Amy]

Yes.

[April]

Yes.

[Amy]

There's the cognitive behavioral therap therapy. I'm like, wait, this is really confused. I'm like, all right. I had a CBT session yesterday. I was like, I mean, you did Therapeutic.

[Ashley Randall]

But yeah.

[Amy]

Yeah.

[Ashley Randall]

So I, you know, I enjoyed this client. He. He wants the pain and he also wants to see me happy. Yeah. That I'm giving him pain.

[Amy]

Okay.

[Ashley Randall]

And so I will just, through shorts over clothing, whale on his cock and balls with my. My impact toys.

[Amy]

Dang. Yeah. I like it.

[Ashley Randall]

I have. You see how happy I'm like you like the best time.

[Amy]

That's a lot of squirming. Yeah.

[Ashley Randall]

And he's like. He's just like, he's crying out in pain, but also like, there's joy on his face. So it's the. The combo. And I get so juiced up off of that, and I feel like I've fed after that session. I'm like, I feel so satiated.

[Amy]

Yeah.

[Ashley Randall]

So I get to.

[Amy]

And he does too. Obviously he's leaving there when. Or people are like, well, why would someone be into that? Right? There's like, for that person, they're leaving with this feeling of like, nourishment. Maybe relax, release, like, ah, I just went like, I went to the sexy spa or something like that.

[Ashley Randall]

Yeah.

[Amy]

Like, he.

[Ashley Randall]

He gets to feel like, wow, this just. I got to feel. See this deep part of this person. Yeah. Which is a big part of why I love doing kink play and DS play is, you know, we get to see this deep part of somebody that not many people, if anyone else gets to see, and we both get to do that for each other.

[Amy]

Yeah. That's so beautiful.

[Ashley Randall]

So that's. Yeah.

[Amy]

Yeah. And it's. And. And anyone can explore this. Like, you don't have to have all the tools. You don't have to have the bondage gear. You don't have to have the floggers and the paddles. You can just use bodies. In fact, some people are more into just using bodies and they don't want the. The tools and things.

[Ashley Randall]

This is an impact toy.

[Amy]

Yeah. Yeah. Your hand is a great. You got two. Yeah, your hands are great impact toys. They're fantastic. And there's certain parts of the body you don't want to hit, and we don't have time to get into all of those things. But if. If people were to one, we're going to encourage them to. To work with Ashley because she is a phenomenal coach and also a dominatrix too. So she has. Has many options conference and how she works with people, and we'll talk about that in a second. But if you had some advice for someone in terms of like a book or some way to just start learning a little more about like how to do kink as a newbie in general, do you have. Does anything come to mind?

[Ashley Randall]

Yeah, I think there's some. Try to find your local dungeon.

[Amy]

Like, go to your local dungeon and if you have to travel three hours, do that too. Yeah.

[Ashley Randall]

You know where you are. Most major cities have them also feel out how. How does it feel there?

[Amy]

Like the.

[Ashley Randall]

The, like the educator, the teacher there, the practitioner. Like, do you feel safe with them? That's incredibly important.

[Amy]

Yeah. Give your instinct is like, I don't feel safe. Listen to that. That.

[Ashley Randall]

That's one thing I do want to underline is, before I say anything more, is please don't do anything you're not comfortable with. And I know venturing into these things, as we're saying is, you know, you're pushing your limits, but also, please go at a slower pace than you think. Yeah.

[Amy]

That's why shameless sex. We say slower than slow and slower than that. And that doesn't apply to all sex all the time. But especially with, like, edgy things, new things, new partners. Slow the fuck down. And maybe try going slower than what you think slow is. Because a lot of people think they're going slow and they actually don't.

[Ashley Randall]

Yeah. And I think a lot of people will, like we've kind of been alluding to, will jump in too quickly and then they will get burned.

[Amy]

Yeah.

[Ashley Randall]

And be like, this is horrible. Anyone ever do this? Yeah, I'm gonna run way back that way now. And I'm like, no, you didn't. The kids.

[Amy]

Yeah, there's good stuff.

[Ashley Randall]

Yeah, it's, you know, so go slow, learn what you like, what you don't like as you go, and then you can, you know, like I like to say, build out your adult play menu, so. So you know what you like, and you will at least reduce the number of bad experiences and ruptures that you have and damage that's caused along the way. Yes. I mean, we're all going to run into things we don't like and have experiences that are less and pleasurable. And that's just part of the journey.

[Amy]

It is. I've had many experiences where I'm like, I'm never doing that one again, or could have done that so much better. Or here's what I learned. I'm going to do differently next time. And that's just all a part of it. Hopefully a part of it. If you're, you know, staying open to the fact that, like, you're hopefully always learning and. And it's okay to not have Things dialed in perfectly or to maybe accidentally try the more edgy thing that's too edgy for you. And so then there are people that you can work with as well if you have questions, such as Ashley. Yeah. So you're. You're located in Los Angeles. As you do many things right, you're a perfumist. I don't know if I said that right. With an accent.

[Ashley Randall]

I like how you said it.

[April]

Yes.

[Amy]

And you're a coach. You're an educator. You are a prodom. And so you see people in person in Los Angeles. So can you tell me more about who, like, the types of people you see? Is it primarily men? Is it couples? And then I believe you also work with people online.

[Ashley Randall]

Yes. Yeah. So. So I, with my coaching practice, so irreverent. Love coaching. I work. So mostly who's coming in to see me are CIS heteronormative men working with, you know, how do I talk about this? You know, how do I be more dominant, you know, sexual function issues, you know, you know, how do I feel more confident with. With dating as well? All of these things are all, you know, all under this, you know, just relational umbrella.

[Amy]

Yeah.

[Ashley Randall]

So I really love helping men, working with them one on one as a coach and as a. As a practice partner. Like, hey, this is how you're coming across, you know, So I was working with someone this week, actually. It was on him stepping into more of his was, you know, he wanted to be more dominant, you know, like we were just mentioning. And so I said, okay, well, I pulled out my mats.

[Amy]

That's our wrestling.

[Ashley Randall]

Yeah. I said, okay, well, you're gonna toss me around. We're gonna see how you do. And I want you to really, like, push yourself a little bit more. Go a little further. Like, he's a little more. You can grab, you can bite, you know, and he stepped in, and it was so beautiful.

[Amy]

Yeah, I was back. Because you're getting that real time. Like, a lot of the learning. Working online is great. Great when you don't have access to in person, but, like, that experiential stuff. Oh, it's the best.

[Ashley Randall]

It's so important. Yeah. And so that's really helping men step into that and also navigate consent. And how are you coming across, you know, to women? How do you build these communication skills, these intimacy skills to then be able to advocate for yourself, know how you're feeling, and then communicate with your partner?

[Amy]

Yeah.

[Ashley Randall]

So. So that. And then I work with. With a lot of partners as well. They come in, like, wanting to figure out, like, how do we be. Yeah. Step into kink or, you know, spice up our love lives, you know, whatever it may be. And you just discover more about themselves so they can enhance their relationship and their sex life. And so I really enjoy helping them with that. Yeah. And I'll like, often, like, coach. Like, I'll co dom with one of the partners.

[April]

Oh, really?

[Amy]

Oh, that's cool.

[Ashley Randall]

Top dom their partner together.

[Amy]

Yeah, you're like, you're like a little. Yeah. You're like. Yeah, teaching that. Or I'm thinking of when you're with a partner where I'm like, show. I want to know what you like. So take my hand and put it on your body. Yeah, you're like. You're like the hand over the hand.

[Ashley Randall]

Yes, I've done that.

[Amy]

Yeah. Yeah, exactly. Yeah.

[Ashley Randall]

So I'll do that and I'll show them some techniques and things like that.

[Amy]

Like.

[Ashley Randall]

Oh, you want to say it like this.

[Amy]

Yeah.

[Ashley Randall]

Or like, tell them they're being such

[Amy]

a good little boy, you know, that would be so helpful for just like all kinds of sex to just like, have you there.

[April]

Yeah.

[Amy]

More this. Us that try this.

[Ashley Randall]

So. So it's really fun. And a lot of people are like, are we gonna have sex in front of you? I said, no, actually, your clothes are gonna remain in place. Like, you can touch each other, your hands can go underneath each other's clothing. Yeah, but, you know, because I'm not touching. But I enjoy helping them, you know, get into the. Feel out where they get stuck and help them try. Try out new things and try on new energies. So. Yeah, so that's along with. There's a lot of kink in that.

[Amy]

Yeah.

[Ashley Randall]

And. And then as a, As a prodom, I'm. I'm actually much more selective on who I work with now.

[Amy]

I mean, it makes sense. It's like a really intimate, edgy relationship. So I'll just be like, yeah, I'll dom anyone for money.

[Ashley Randall]

No.

[Amy]

Yeah, yeah,

[Ashley Randall]

I've. So I've been doing this coaching and then incorporating kink and dom work over the past 10 years. I like to call myself the therapeutic dominatrix. So I like. Actually, I'll ask people, why do you. Why do you want to do DS play with me? Yeah. And if they're like, well, you're hot and I want to get off and

[Amy]

that's not gonna be a good. There's someone else out there for you.

[Ashley Randall]

I don't want to be objectified like that. You can't pay me enough for that. Like, and I want to give all the props to all of my Dom sisters who. They're doing such good work. And I'm like, you make that money, go get it.

[Amy]

Yeah, well, it's nice. You probably have a network of like, okay, I'm not a good fit for this client, but this person would be. I remember in Santa Cruz Hut, we had two. Not a lot of protons, but two of them. One of them was a sadist. You know, I like inflicting pain. I don't do any of the performative stuff. You want performative? I send you to this other woman.

[Ashley Randall]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Amy]

It's great.

[Ashley Randall]

Yeah. Because it's. I will say there. I will see a big difference in some people that come to see me. The ones that I will stick. Take on and stick. That usually stick around are the ones actually want to build an intimate relationship.

[Amy]

Yeah.

[Ashley Randall]

Still within the. The boundaries of the work, the container. But they actually want that. And they say, okay, I don't want just. I don't want just the performance. Yeah, like, no, I get that. Yeah. And like, some people want just the transactional. Like, just the transactional performance. And like, no, just do this, and then I'm on my way. Great. That's beautiful. Like, please, please pay that woman lots of money.

[Amy]

Yes.

[Ashley Randall]

That person lots of money. And so a lot of emotional labor in that.

[Amy]

Oh, I bet.

[Ashley Randall]

And so when I. When I do get some people that come to me and they say, well, I want you to perform all the emotional labor and be. And. But not be performative, I'm just like, I'm not gonna. Yeah.

[Amy]

Still not a good thing, how that works. Yeah.

[Ashley Randall]

You actually don't understand emotional intimacy, buddy. So.

[Amy]

Which is common.

[Ashley Randall]

So I said we can start as coaching. Yeah, start with coaching.

[Amy]

Work your way up.

[Ashley Randall]

And some do. And then some just, you know, move on because they don't get it yet, you know?

[Amy]

Yes. All right, so you are. Everyone heard. Just doesn't just take anyone and everyone. Because also, you know, for you, it needs. This is an intimate relationship, even though. Even when it's paid. Just like your therapist. Right. Like, therapists. You know, there are some therapists. Actually a lot therapists will just work with anyone. Doesn't mean that they'll continue working with you, though. Right. So. Because it has to feel really good for everyone in order for good things to happen, for there to be the growth and change that you want or the positive experiences or the pleasure. So. So for people to discover all these things and I'm. And your erotic perfumes Which I love the. Love your scents. We named some of the names of them. Wasn't there like, one of them is like, money.

[Ashley Randall]

Like leather and money.

[Amy]

Leather and money.

[Ashley Randall]

I'm wearing it right now, actually.

[Amy]

Yeah, you're wearing leather and money. And does it make you like. I'm like, I'm going to make all the monies.

[Ashley Randall]

It. It gives me a grounded kind of a daddy feel.

[Amy]

Oh, okay. You're in your daddy roll right now. What's your mommy scent? O.

[Ashley Randall]

Probably sex in the garden. Garden.

[Amy]

Sex in the garden. Yeah. Okay. Oh, I like this. Are all these things on your website?

[Ashley Randall]

Yes.

[Amy]

You're so. To do the dom work with you. To work with you for sex and relationship coaching. Other. In person or online to check out your erotic sense and maybe become leather. No, no, wait. Leather money is dead with your dom side. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Ashley Randall]

Or sugar daddy.

[Amy]

Or sugar daddy. Oh, you have a sugar daddy one, too.

[Ashley Randall]

I mean, sugar sug one. Nice.

[Amy]

Sounds like sweet. And like, they're going to buy me a lot of jewelry.

[Ashley Randall]

It's a really. I love it. It's a really good one.

[April]

Does it work?

[Amy]

Do you ever wear it around someone's like, can I buy you a necklace? Oh, none the world.

[Ashley Randall]

Doesn't really work that way. Actually. Actually made it with a former partner. We were together at the time and we. I created for him.

[Amy]

It was a really fun experience. Were they a sugar daddy?

[Ashley Randall]

No.

[Amy]

Okay. They.

[Ashley Randall]

They said, to be clear. No, they said they have a big sweet tooth.

[Amy]

Oh, okay.

[Ashley Randall]

And they're a dad.

[Amy]

Yeah. Oh, there you go.

[April]

Perfect.

[Ashley Randall]

So, like, can it be sweet but mature?

[Amy]

I'm like, I got you sweet but mature.

[April]

Yeah.

[Amy]

That's what I'm going to call a hot dad right there. We started the hot dad club, by the way. Hot dad club, everyone. I don't know if I talked about in the podcast before. It's not a kink thing. Although it could be. Hot dads are men who you don't have to have had children. It's an energy. It's the new big dick energy. And it is. It does come with a level of maturity. Like, you not only are really skilled at taking care of the outside world, but you really good at taking care of yourself, too. Hot dad.

[Ashley Randall]

Yeah, that's like a pleasure dom too.

[Amy]

That's just fine for me. Totally. And if you have kids. Yeah, it's a bonus bit. You know, if you're a shitty dad, you are not going to be a hot dad. I don't care how hot you are. See, it's not about that tangent anyways. So irreverent sense sense.

[Ashley Randall]

Reverend Sense.com is my perfume website.

[Amy]

And then irrevant coaching.

[Ashley Randall]

Yes, reverendcoaching.com and we'll put all the

[Amy]

links in the show notes so you can check out Ashley. This actually, as I said, was filmed in a professional studio. So if you are not watching us on YouTube or on Instagram, go follow, subscribe. I for always forget which is does what one is follow and subscribe. Um, and then you can see Ashley. She's actually a really gorgeous human too. Or if she's just a voice in your ear, go check her out at least to just see that she's absolutely lovely. And she does so much more than this too. It's not just in the kink realm. And you, you're actually just really working with people to. To help them in sex and relationships in general.

[Ashley Randall]

Oh, yeah. I work with many, many people, actually, who never had intercourse to so virgins.

[Amy]

Like, I love.

[Ashley Randall]

I love working with the whole wide range.

[Amy]

I'm doing an episode next week with Celeste and Danielle from Somatica on the show. Not on it, but about the show. Virgin Island.

[Ashley Randall]

Yes.

[Amy]

I'll let you know how it goes.

[Ashley Randall]

I love working with virgins.

[Amy]

Oh, really?

[Ashley Randall]

They're so sweet.

[Amy]

Okay, that's gonna need to be a whole nother episode. Oh, my gosh. Okay, well, stay tuned, everyone. Have Ashley Randall back on the show to talk about working with virgins and

[Ashley Randall]

why they're so sweet.

[Amy]

Sweet. Yeah. Or maybe that could be more about, like, experience or inexperience and how much that gets in people's way of feeling confident. It does. Yes. Confidence is thing. But we're running out of time, so we will get there in the future. So go check out the show notes for all of Ashley's links and for her work. Go follow her. Go subscribe all the things. And if April were here right now, she'd say, we love our listeners. Give us five stars. We love good reviews, Spotify I iTunes. I don't care where you're listening. And you, if you haven't done it yet, it takes like seconds. You can just put like, as April says, a heart emoji, maybe a squirrel, because we have adhd and that's perfect. And if you don't love us, well, there's plenty of other podcasts for you. Goodbye, enjoy. And we release an episode every single Tuesday, so see you next Tuesday. We have not missed an episode since 2017. Close to 500 episodes. Dang. And lastly, ciao for now. To learn more, go to shamelesssex.com and

[April]

for 15 off some of our favorite sex toys, use code Shameless Sex at purepleasureshop. Com.