#496 What Everyone Should Know About Eating P***y with Shaun Galanos

Summary

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Shameless Sex Podcast Episode #496

Title: What Everyone Should Know About Eating P***y with Shaun Galanos
Hosts: Amy Baldwin & April Lampert
Guest: Shaun Galanos (The Love Drive)
Release Date: July 28, 2026

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Episode Overview

This lively and candid episode revisits the timeless topic of cunnilingus (“eating pussy”), updating a fan-favorite interview from eight years ago with sex and relationship coach Shaun Galanos. Amy, April, and Shaun dive deep into anatomy, technique, communication, shame, pleasure politics, and how oral sex can lead to radical connection and healing. Whether you’re a “pussy owner” or an “admirer,” this episode is packed with practical advice, funny confessions, and heartfelt vulnerability.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. The ROI of Oral Sex & “Manosphere” Myths

• The trio addresses a surge of anti-oral-sex attitudes in some corners of the internet, with Shaun calling out the “manosphere bros” for labeling cunnilingus as weak, gay, or a low-ROI activity.

  • Shaun (16:54): “Oral sex is probably the most effective way of bringing pleasure to your female partner … The ROI is massive. Closeness, intimacy, trust, safety, satisfaction, fulfillment.”
  • Amy (18:46): “If you’re giving someone—speaking as a person who’s being pleasured—it gives me a lot of pleasure, you’re gonna likely get a lot back from me.”

• The hosts debunk myths that going down on a woman is submissive or emasculating.

  • Shaun (21:03): "What’s more masculine than helping your partner experience pleasure?"

2. The Psychology of Avoidance & Building Skills

• Many people avoid oral sex due to anxiety about their skills, fear of negative feedback, or past shaming experiences.

  • April (22:15): “When I don’t feel confident in my skills in something, I’m afraid of it. … Go learn skills.”
  • Shaun (23:31): “Owning the fact you’re not good at something and taking steps to better yourself requires humility.”

• The importance of transparent communication and open feedback between partners.

  • Amy (24:10): “We’re missing out on really important and actually easy communication by not just asking, ‘what are you into?’”

3. Receiving Oral & Overcoming Shame

• Amy shares her personal journey from feeling anxiety and shame about receiving oral, to finding healing through positive partners.

  • Amy (30:26): “I used to be that person…in my head with insecurities: ‘I’m taking too long, I’m not going to orgasm.’ I was blocking myself.”
  • Amy (33:41): “[Lovers who are] pussy worshipers…can totally heal you.”

• Mindfulness tips for receivers: focusing on body sensations, not the “goal” of orgasm, to stay present and enjoy.

4. Anatomy & Technique Deep Dives

• Shaun’s 5-Step Guide to Great Cunnilingus:
  1. Take Your Time
     • Teasing and delaying, making the receiver crave the touch:
       Shaun (28:08): “I’m trying to tease the pussy as long as I can. I want your body to be actively trying to jam yourself into my mouth because you’re now frustrated that I haven’t touched your pussy yet.”
  2. Get Comfortable
     • Ergonomics matter—prop yourself, use pillows, make requests. Shaun (38:01): “Ask her, ‘can you scooch into the corner?’…Then I’m comfortable. My whole body is being supported.”
  3. Hygiene Real Talk
     • Vaginas are self-cleaning and generally cleaner than mouths.
     • If cleanliness is a concern, communicate openly and nonjudgmentally.
       Shaun (40:31): “I’m also just like—whatever your pussy smells like right now, who cares? Eat it anyway.”
  4. Technique—Hands and Mouth
     • The “Pussy Sandwich”: Two fingers inside (G-spot), mouth on clitoris, top hand on mons pubis. Shaun (48:09): “Two fingers inside, clitoral stimulation with my mouth, and top hand on the mons…You’ve got a sandwich.”
  5. Feedback & Verbal Affirmation
     • Check in, use body language, and give/receive dirty talk and praise. Shaun (55:23): “Moan. Be vocal…Say, ‘you taste so good,’ ‘you’re so wet.’”

Host's Anatomy Quick Lesson (51:07–54:45)

• Amy offers a detailed anatomical demonstration (with puppet), explaining clitoral structure, labia, and the importance of approaching each area with different levels of pressure and attention.

5. Communication: Before, During, and After

• Model open-hearted listening and ask detailed questions:
  • “Does this feel good?” “More pressure or less?” “Do you like circles or up-and-down?”
• Aftercare: Discuss what worked after the sexual experience. Reaffirm that revisiting these convos can be sexy and productive.

6. Hot Tips, Playful Tangents & Memorable Moments

• Power Play: “Don't move or else I'll stop.” (50:00)—Adding dom/sub elements for extra thrill.
• Hygiene Humor: Shaun’s “French sink wash” for foreskin (43:40), Amy on the challenges of vulva cleanliness.
• Honoring Boundaries: If you’re truly not into giving or receiving, it may be a compatibility issue. (60:35)
• Inclusivity: How varying bodies, hair, menstruation, and positions (face sitting, 69) can be fun and hot—if everyone’s on board.

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Notable Quotes & Moments

• Shaun on teasing:
  “I’m trying to tease the pussy as long as I can. I want your body to be actively trying to jam yourself into my mouth because you’re now frustrated that I haven’t touched your pussy yet.”
  (28:08)

• Amy on receiving:
  “I used to be that person…in my head with insecurities: ‘I’m taking too long, I’m not going to orgasm.’ I was blocking myself.”
  (30:26)

• Shaun on “ROI”:
  “Referring to anything sexual as ROI or using business terminology is pretty disgusting.”
  (19:34)

• Amy on communication:
  “If my body is moving towards you—that means my body likes what you’re doing. If it’s moving away, that means it wants less pressure or something else.”
  (24:13)

• Shaun’s playful wisdom:
  “Sometimes my left arm gets sore and I swap it to the right…Don’t stop ’til she physically pulls your face off her or says, you can stop now.”
  (71:54)

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Timestamps for Key Segments

• Intro & Purpose of Revisit: 02:03–03:59
• Advice on Communicating Hurt & Accountability: 04:05–13:33
• Shaun’s Introduction & Manosphere Discussion: 14:21–22:15
• Overcoming Shame, Confidence, & Hygiene: 22:15–44:55
• Shaun’s 5-Step Eating Guide/Technique: 48:09–50:24
• Anatomy 101 with Amy: 51:07–54:45
• Feedback, Affirmation Tips: 55:23–56:59
• Dealbreakers, Boundaries, and Compatibility: 60:35–62:26
• Anal Crossover & Oral 2.0: 64:16–68:54
• Rapid Fire: Face Sitting, Period Sex, Pubic Hair, 69: 74:37–83:34
• Wrap-Up, What’s Next for the Hosts/Guest Plugs: 84:17–87:57

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Tone & Language

The episode is comedic, frank, sex-positive, and unfiltered. The trio employs contemporary slang, humor, and warmth. They frequently model conversational check-ins and affirm that asking for clarity about preferences, or acknowledging your uncertainty, is sexy.

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Takeaway Messages

• Taking your time, being communicative, and prioritizing the receiver’s pleasure are key to great oral sex.
• Mindfulness and communication—before, during, after sex—create connection, confidence, and better orgasms.
• Anatomy matters: learn the real structure of the vulva, clitoris, and what different touches feel like in different areas.
• Don’t let societal shame, bad feedback, or performative influencer “bros” limit your (or your partner’s) pleasure.
• Be willing to learn, adapt, and worship with enthusiasm; feedback and vulnerability are strengths, not weaknesses.

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Resources Mentioned

• Book: “She Comes First” by Ian Kerner (48:04)
• Shaun’s blog & Substack: thelovedrive.com / thelovedrive.substack.com
• Shameless Sex resources: shamelesssex.com, upcoming retreats, and online course Intimacy Rewired

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For Further Exploration

• Follow Shaun: @thelovedrive (Instagram, Substack)
• Follow Shameless Sex: shamelesssex.com, IG, YouTube
• Listen to past episodes: Especially the 2018 “What Women Wish You Knew About Eating Pussy” (Episode 64)
• Check out the intensive course: intimacyrewired.com

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“Sex is a way for me to be the opposite of (controlling)—to actually surrender… It’s a really healing, beautiful thing for me with the right match and the worshipers.”
— Amy Baldwin (58:28)

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Transcript

[A]

I'm trying to tease the pussy as long as I can. Like, I want your body to be actively trying to jam yourself into my mouth because you're now frustrated that I haven't touched your pussy yet.

[B]

Yes.

[C]

I'm Amy.

[B]

I'm April.

[C]

Certified sex educators, sexperts of the year and best selling authors.

[B]

And we're on a mission to help you have more spicy, connected and amazing shameless sex.

[C]

Welcome to the shameless sex revolution.

[A]

We're so close, it's like we have our own language. We're making sex and relationships shameless.

[C]

To learn more, go to shamelesssex.com and

[B]

for 15% off some of our favorite sex toys, use code shameless sex. @PurePleasureshop.com you are listening to a pleasure podcast.

[A]

For more from our sex podcast collective, visit pleasurepodcasts.com well, hello everyone.

[B]

Hey, everybody.

[C]

Welcome back to the shameless sex podcast. I have a little bit of a post trade show rasp voice. Yeah, you do yours sexy. Yours is just always sultry. Mine is like, you talk too much.

[B]

I could barely squeak out words though, right after.

[C]

Oh, really?

[B]

Yeah. Sex toy trade show, everyone. We talked a lot about sex and lube. Yeah, sex toys and lube.

[C]

Well, that's actually, I think I came back with just a slight rasp. And then this weekend there were some sexy parties that were going down. And no, I was not having screaming orgasms. I was just talking a lot there too. And I wore my throat down. I wish I had a cool story like it was from a crazy deep throating session. That would be even cooler.

[B]

That would be. Maybe it was in between. Did you do any in between?

[C]

Deep learning maybe. Possibly. But no, it's from my Blah, blah, blah. Let's be honest. That's me and a microphone. We are good friends.

[B]

We love you. Blah, blah, blah.

[C]

Thanks, Chiap. That's why we have a job here. That's why we love our jobs. This episode is with Sean from the Love Drive and he guested on our show on episode 64. That's like eight years ago.

[B]

It's a long time ago.

[C]

Yes, that was a long, long, long time ago. It is vintage. And that episode was called what women wished you knew about eating. And it was a huge hit on our show. He's amazing. So this is a bit of a revisit revamp, because now we're talking about eating eight years later. So we're calling this one what everyone should know about eating. This is what everyone should should know. If you are a pussy owner You're a pussy admirer. All of the above. And include some of the stuff that you'd shared before. But there's a lot more information and field research that Sean has. Has done. And also on this show, I was sharing more from the receiver's perspective, too. So if you want to understand the receiver, the pussy owner who is receiving oral, or if you are that person, a pussy owner who maybe has a hard time receiving oral because I used to be that person, there's a lot of good nuggets in here for you.

[B]

Just get in there and go, yeah, exactly.

[C]

Or ABCs.

[B]

ABC. No, don't do it.

[C]

No. And then. Yeah, don't do that one. Yeah, don't try that one. Does not work.

[B]

What do you think it's like in Russia with the ABCs. They don't have.

[C]

Oh, my God. Yeah. Sanskrit. ABC.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

I have no clue. I bet you would actually be able to pleasure a pussy better with some Sanskrit.

[B]

Yeah, probably.

[C]

I have no clue what I'm talking about right now. So, yeah, really amazing episode. And then if you're not following either Shameless Sex or Sean the Love Drive on social media, you should go check it out. We put some clips. Clips on there that are getting a lot of traction, especially on the first clip that we posted. It's Sean actually talking about this kind of more like Cliff Notes version of how to Eat a. And you see him, like, kind of burying his. His face in. In, well, in the air as he's talking about it. And there's, like, already probably 150 comments. Most of them like, yes. How do I get some of that? Yeah, like what? This is amazing. This guy is a God. He knows everything he's talking about. So if you're not following Sean or Shame Sex, go check us out on social media. And then I believe the video is also on the youtubes as well. You ready? Let's just dive into sex. Question. How do you feel about that?

[B]

I'm feeling good.

[C]

I'm like, with my. I'm like a phone sex operator meets, like, a teenage boy right now with my voice.

[B]

Amy voice.

[C]

Crack out, crack out. Here we go. I love my wife and we have a great marriage, but when it comes to anything related to me feeling hurt by something she said or did, she immediately shuts down. Later on, she says she's sorry and can we move on? And sometimes that works, but other times it does not. I've tried asking her if we can talk more about what just happened, but she says, I said I'm sorry. I Won't do it again, that kind of thing. I feel like my feelings don't matter and it's starting to make me want more distance from her. How can I get her to have these types of conversations?

[B]

Oh, that's sad.

[C]

That's super sad. It's not so. Not even talking about sexual conversations necessarily. It sounds like it's just hurt in general or when. My guess is it's when she is feeling like, okay, my partner is upset about or heard about something, so therefore she's going through I'm wrong, I'm bad process, which everyone kind of goes through with those kind of things. But instead of wanting to tend to it or have those conversations, she's. I mean, essentially kind of bypassing it a little bit. Right. Like, I'm. I'm sorry. There's some people that say I'm sorry is bullshit. It doesn't serve a time and place. I disagree with that.

[B]

There's also an authentic apology and sometimes there's shitty apologies where it's like, I'm sorry you feel that way.

[C]

Yeah, Yeah, I love that worst. Yeah, I'm sorry. That's not even, I'm sorry you're not sorry I feel this way, but come on, Dick. Yeah, yeah, totally. It's like a manipulation right there. Or just, you know, something bad happens, oh, oh, I'm sorry. Or oh, I'm so sorry. And then. And that's it. Right. Sometimes there's little things that. That's fine. Right. Like, hey, babe, when I got. You said you do the dishes. When I got home, you didn't do the dishes. Oh, I'm so sorry about that. Yeah, I'll do that next time or try better next time. Whatever. Actually. But that's even like this. It doesn't sound like she's even saying that. Like, people want to hear, like, you can say I'm sorry, but it's. There's the intention and the feeling behind it. They want to feel your. Feel your heart and that you really care, that you're really taking it and you're really considering this. They often also want to hear the accountability part of, like, you know, oh, yeah, like, here's how I recognize what I could have done better or why you're feeling hurt. And here's what I'm going to try to do differently next time. So there's a difference between I'm sorry and taking on full accountability. It sounds like you're not receiving any accountability, so it makes sense why you want some distance. Because it doesn't feel safe.

[B]

It Says too. I'm wondering if she's saying, I won't do it again. Can we move on if she's actually doing it again?

[C]

I don't know.

[B]

That's one thing. Because if it's a repeating process, that's something to look at.

[C]

Yeah. And then this person, you know, is not even getting the opportunity to express further emotions. So they're just getting bottled up inside because there isn't really a place to. To put that outward.

[B]

It'll be explosion.

[C]

Yeah. Later on. That's what I do when I, when I have all that stuff. And I'm just like, I just lose my marbles at the most inappropriate time generally. And then that's even more problems for everyone. So. But here's the thing. You can't force your partner to communicate or communicate differently. You can lead by example. Right. So if your partner is like, no, I just don't want to talk about it, you know, that sucks. But like, is your partner have moments when they're hurt about something with you? Right. What are. And what are you doing when you're, when you're taking your accountability? Right. You can kind of be demoing that. Not again. Not in a manipulative way. But, you know, are you, are you saying, you know, I'm whatever, I'm sorry, and da, da, da. And I totally am taking in your feelings. And here's what I'm going to do differently. It doesn't mean your partner is going to change, but you can lead by example.

[B]

Also, what I think the most important side of communication or important part of communication. And this is my opinion, and you can tell me if I'm on the right track for you as well. But is listening.

[C]

Yeah, totally.

[B]

Because if listening is some of the hardest things to do, it's a, It's a thing that is constant and harder.

[C]

So harder for some, some more than others too.

[B]

And it's, it's difficult. It takes a lot of active listening. It takes a lot of attention. It takes a lot of presence. So is this person, Is there a balance between listening and conversating to leave an open space to communicate the accountability piece or what the. What the issue is?

[C]

Yeah, totally. And it sounds like your partner doesn't even really want to listen to more of your feelings. So that. Yeah, super challenging. And so I have just one idea for a practice or exercise that you can try, but your partner might even just be a no to trying this. So I'll try to describe it. And I haven't described it for a while. So let Me see if I can see. Still get it. But it's kind of like an active listening exercise, but it's more, it's called open hearted listening. So it adds an extra component of compassion. So we say, April and I have some sort of issue. Say I'm bringing issue to April. Hey, April, there's something that happened yesterday that's, yeah. I'm having some feelings about. Is now a good time to talk about it? So you're getting, getting permission. You're not just cornering the person and being like, we're going to talk about this hard thing because then that can lead to defensiveness. So then April says, yeah, okay, now's a good time. And then what I would say is you're actually intentionally practicing, practicing this. You're saying, okay, let's, let's let me describe this. And then can we, can we do open hearted listening? Can we try this practice together? If your partner says yes, don't, you know, don't do a drive by open heart listening, but partner says yes. Cool. So what though, what you would do is you start sharing the hurt, right? And you're not pointing fingers like, you did this, you did this. It's, you know, when you said you're, you were going, I'll use the dishes, for example. When you said you were going to do the dishes and I came home and the dishes weren't done, I've felt, I don't dismissed like my feelings didn't matter. You know, I, you know, I, you had told me that you were going to do this thing and I felt let down. Then instead of your partner responding right away with anything that's like fix it or accountability, the first thing they do is actually repeating. That's the listening part. They repeat. Okay, what I'm hearing you say is when I said I'd do the dishes, da da, da da da. Is that right? And you, if you feel like they actually said all the things, not word for word, but you really got what you were saying, you can say, yes. Yeah, that is right. Or if not like you could say yes. And here's also this, this, this, and they, they do the same thing. Oh, okay. And now I'm also hearing da da da da. Is that right? And then you'll say maybe eventually get there, yes. Then your partner says, okay, let me take a minute to take that in or whatever. However long they need to. They take however long they need to. And then they don't try to explain, they don't try to defend. They just try to feel for Your. For your experience. So they maybe something along was like, okay, yeah. When I feel into that, I can totally understand why that would feel that way. Like I told you, I do this thing, you're kind of. You're relying on that. And maybe this has happened in the past too, where you come home, I didn't do the thing. So I totally understand why that might feel like a major letdown. And I'm so sorry. I really, truly am going to take that in this time. And while I know I can't promise I'll do everything perfectly, I will really try my best in the future. Something like that. Right. And so you're getting the listening and the heart in there like compassion, which can help people relax. And just one added addition. Let these that conversation in this practice. Just be that. Don't try to come back with. Don't open the doors for explaining, for defending, for or even for your rebuttal or sorry, their rebuttal. Like here. But let me explain why I didn't do the dishes. Right. Then you just let it be that. And then if you want to talk more about it, do it the next day and the next day same can be the same thing. Like, you know, can we have this conversation about that conversation. Right. Or something like that. But you're. That's just another way. Or you can take your own take on it. But to practice active listening and no

[B]

blame language and walk away if it gets too heated and come back to it. That's always something that is effective.

[C]

Yeah. If someone is starting to feel triggered, it doesn't take both of those. There's. If there's one person starting to feel triggered, you need to press pause because you're not going to go a lot of places.

[B]

Time out.

[C]

Time out. So some other ideas. You can take a communication course together. I think we said this on a recent podcast masterclass I think has some good communication courses.

[B]

Our book. Yeah, our book chapter on communicating.

[C]

A whole massive chapter on communication. You can listen to it, you can read it. It's. The book is called Shameless Sex. You can find it on our website.

[B]

You can take off the book jacket if you don't want to be seen with a Shameless sex book. I had someone tell me that. They're like, I love your book. I just didn't want the book jacket on. I was like, oh, that's smart. That's why there's a book jacket like

[C]

the old school one where you tape like something else in the front and that's on over it. I've never done that. But yeah, I don't remember how to but I remember that they like taught us in school. I don't remember how to. You can hire a therapist or a coach to work with that can help you to develop this skill of communicating and that would actually probably be really helpful for you because this isn't going to be an overnight thing is my guess for you and your partner, for

[B]

both of them would need to take it in my opinion.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Right.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Because if only one person is doing the work, it might not trickle into

[C]

the relationship and why not make it a we experience anyways so. And then also I I have a course coming up that I'm co leading with someone else called Intimacy Rewired coming up this fall 2026. That about rewiring your intimacy, whether it's how you communicate, how you share yourself, how you ask for what your wants and needs, how you understand yourselves, all those things. It's and it's really powerful. We've had a lot of couples that did our last one and they said it really changed their relationships, especially in the communication department. You can go learn more about that at intimacy rewired.com It's a six week online course. You can do it from anywhere in the world and you will lean there, leave there all tuned up. And then lastly, our retreats. Our retreats are really great place for couples to go and not only have fun and learn about sex but and be all jazzed up and have leave a new community but really learn how to communicate with each other.

[B]

Oh yeah.

[C]

So we have some. A little bit. Only a couple spots left in our our retreats in October, in 2026. They are in Palm Springs.

[B]

There'll be more in 2027.

[C]

Yep. Stay tuned.

[B]

Okay. It's bio time.

[C]

Bio time.

[B]

Sean Galanos is a love coach, writer, podcaster and speaker who guides clients in finding playful, honest language for all the challenging conversations surrounding sexual love and dating. Through a model of masculinity rooted in emotional courage and self acceptance, Shawn shows that vulnerability isn't weakness. It's the gateway to real connection. To learn more, listen to the Love Drive on your favorite app or check out his substack@sean galanos.substack.com.

[C]

What about you, Sean? Who are you?

[A]

Well, great to see you again. And yeah, my name is Sean Galanos, the host of the Love Drive podcast and a love coach. You could find me on Instagram at the Love Drive. I write on substack at the Love Drive as well and I let's see, have always been sort of fascinated with sex, love, and relationships. I don't think I had quite as a close relationship to sex with my mom as you did.

[C]

Most people don't.

[A]

But I have always been sort of like sexual, free slash, promiscuous. I find that sex can be very healing. It's a really beautiful way of connecting with oneself and with others. And I think a lot of what I try to impart is the power of honesty and vulnerability and direct communication in all aspects of life. And that includes sex and love and dating. And I wrote A blog post 10 years ago called what women wish you knew about eating pussy. It was also a very popular blog post. And so we're revisiting some of that. We're doing sort of like a 2.0. And all of my top, you know, performing episodes are all about sex. All of the ones. All of the. My, like, most popular reels, the ones that are most shared or most commented are all about sex. So I'm excited. Excited to dive in.

[C]

Yeah. Yeah. And with this one, too, we were actually just saying. I mean, we just said this in the intro, and we were talking about this a little bit yesterday. Like, it's great timing to be talking about this because of what's happening in the manosphere world. And pussy is getting a bad reputation right now or going down on, I guess. Right. Like, people are making comments like, it's a lesser than thing. It's gay if you go down on pussies. Like, whatever. There's all. All these things. So, Sean, have you been. Have you been up to date? I've been watching some of the manosphere bros talk about their perspectives on eating. Sure.

[A]

But, like, let's not give them more credit.

[C]

No.

[A]

Than they need. I don't think that. Well, okay. That's. That's actually quite interesting. You know, I was just thinking about the patriarchy and misogyny. Like, yeah, I guess there is quite a lot of the world that is down on. Right. It's like, because it belongs to women. So, you know, there's something wrong with it. But in my perspective, oral sex is probably the most effective way of bringing pleasure to your female partner.

[C]

It's also a lot safer than penetrative sex. It's not perfectly safe. It's just safer.

[A]

It's a lot safer. There's an orgasm gap that needs to be closed. Look, manosphere dudes are out of touch. They're misogynist. I think it's probably a smaller part of the population than we.

[C]

Totally. It's sensationalized right now for sure.

[A]

But it is tricky because I think what happens is that men who don't know how to connect with women or who have been ridiculed in some way, feel a part of or feel like they'll never have success with women. Find these guys, and these guys say, well, here's. Here is a way that you can belong. Right. You'll get strong. You'll have a fellowship of brothers. You'll make money. You don't need women. Women are. Women are there. So I think what's happening is that they're convinced or being convinced that women are the problem when women aren't the problem.

[C]

Yeah. Or they're also. Women are just there to, like, serve as a tool for you at some time. But there's, you know, it's. It's like you're not. You're not opening up to deep connection. There's no. There's, like, you know, you're. There's no reciprocal, like, giving and sharing and. And then, you know, the conversation. Like, one of the things I heard was someone asking someone in an interview, like, one of the dudes. It was. It was, do you feel like it's important to give women orgasms? And he's like, no, it's just. And they said, why? Is it. Because there's a low roi. Like, it's a business arrangement or something. And I would disagree. When I heard that, I was like, there. The ROI is massive. Like, if you're giving someone and also speak as a person, you know, as someone going down on me and pleasuring me, gives me a lot of pleasure, you're gonna likely get a lot back from me.

[A]

Not only that, but, like, what it can do to a relationship. Right? Like, closeness, intimacy, trust, safety, satisfaction, fulfillment. Like, we're not saying that, like, orgasms are, like, the. The key to a happy relationship, but, like, sexual satisfaction is really important for a lot of people, and orgasms can contribute to sexual satisfaction. So. Yeah, low ROI in the sense that, like, it can be a little tricky sometimes to bring pleasure to certain women to. And then. And certain women struggle, you know, receiving and achieving orgasm. But, I mean, referring to anything sexually as ROI or using, like, business terminology is pretty disgusting.

[C]

Yeah. Already. And they're already. There goes my clipboard. Everyone who's gone.

[A]

I just think it's hilarious that, like, the idea of, like, going down on a woman is gay.

[C]

Yeah. Yeah. Like. Like an act. Well, and that's just, to me, is. That's the idiocracy of people saying, still Thinking that your behaviors, the things that you do determine your orientation. And we know that that is not true. Right. If you have anal sex, if you're a penis owner and you receive anal sex, you put your own finger in your butt, whatever, you're not gay. It's the people that you're interested in having sex with and how you determine your orientation. But you know, people still stuck on that one. Or there's also the thing of like it not being a dominant act as well, Right?

[A]

Yeah, correct. It's, I mean, that's the whole thing. It's a sub.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

That it's somehow, somehow giving oral sex is a submissive act. Which is like kind of weird because it's actually very active.

[C]

It's very active. I mean, I know that when my partner goes down on me, I, I, he's like in my eyes really very much in his like full dominant, masculine hotness. There's nothing that feels subby about it. Now maybe if I was like doing some face sitting or queening and suffocating him with my, my cheeks and my genitals and like I'm the one grinding, then I'm in the domi role. But that's not what I'm generally doing.

[A]

And even if you were power bottoming the dude, you know, just the idea that like giving head is, is submissive or is less masculine. I mean, what's more masculine than helping your partner experience pleasure?

[B]

Sure.

[C]

Seriously though, I agree. Come on, Sean, I like you.

[A]

But the thing is, it's like these guys don't care. You know, they don't care. It's all about getting theirs. Fuck, you got mine. Women are there for their pleasure.

[C]

And I think you, you said speak to this a little bit. And I think deep down it really is more, it's more fear based too. Right. Like, you know, when I don't feel confident in my skills in something, I'm afraid of it. And then I either try to avoid it or I'll make up all these excuses as to why that thing's not good. Not cool. Not for me. And so maybe that is one of the things if we go outside of whatever the manosphere, just people in general who say, you know, maybe they're, they're, let's talk, let's just generalize this. Like men who sleep with women are attracted to women, but those men who say I don't like going down on or it's not my thing, you know, I think one reason could be you just don't feel like you're good at it. Maybe you got some negative feedback. Maybe you actually have shame because someone said. Some said it in a not very nice way, like, oh, God, you're so bad at that or something. But don't put that on other people or, like, throw out a whole. Like a whole way of being sexual. Throw that out the window because you don't feel skilled enough. Go learn skills.

[A]

Yeah, I think you're. You're bang on. There are people who are not confident in their abilities, and so they'll make up an excuse for why they don't like doing the thing.

[C]

Yeah, the cleanliness one, too. Like, there's the thing.

[A]

Wait, wait, wait. Hold on, hold on.

[C]

Yeah, go ahead.

[A]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. One at a time. I think owning the fact that you're not good at something and then taking steps to better yourself requires humility.

[C]

What if people don't know humility?

[A]

Well, no, that's the thing. People who, like, people who don't care about women, who are still talking about manosphere people, those aren't the guys that are going to bring you pleasure. Right. And somehow some women or people still look at wanting validation from people that aren't going to be able to give it to them, which is probably just like an old childhood wound that we're sort of perpetrating, you know? But, yeah, if you've gotten feedback that you weren't good, I mean, there are ways of giving feedback. Right. And like, if. If you got feedback that was a little rough, a little hard to handle. I'm sorry that. That was your experience. Yeah. And yet can you put that, you know, can you put that aside and go, okay, like, this is something I don't have a lot of experience in.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

And maybe I can pick up a book or listen to a podcast, pick up a few tips from Amy and Sean.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

And get better at this. Trust me, people will be grateful.

[C]

Yeah. And it's okay also if the pussy is new to you, especially to say, like, you know, we're. We're two different bodies. I want to learn your body, and I know I'm not going to do this perfectly. Like, I'm open to any feedback. What does Dan Savage say is that? He said that, like, the. The straight community kind of sucks at asking just the basic generalized question of, like, what are you into beforehand? Whereas the gay community is a little more skilled at that. We're. We're missing out on really important and what actually can be easy communication?

[A]

Well, maybe we model it. What are you into, Amy?

[C]

Oh, okay. Well, so we're Just talking about post. Like, I've had people ask me this for specifically pussy eating. Right? Like, so what. What are you into? What works for you? So what I say is, I actually won't be able to tell you, like, every little tip that I'm into because I'm. I'm different all the time. But a couple things. Number one, if you're going down on me and my body is moving towards you, that means my body likes what you're doing. If my body starts to move away from you, then that means that my body's trying to, like, change the situation. Right. Maybe is wanting less pressure or something like that. So that's something to look out for. And then I know that I need. Before you put your mouth directly my pussy, I need you to use your hands around the areas around my pussy. So, like, kind of pressing down on my thighs, kind of warming up that area, because otherwise it's really jolting if a mouth just goes there. And before your mouth goes on my. I need your hands in there at least for, like, 30 seconds to a minute to, like, kind of ground my pussy down before. Because otherwise it'll feel kind of ticklish if you just go right for the mouth, mouth, and then from there. Let's try some things.

[A]

I mean, this is really great information, because before this, I didn't know any. Any of you didn't?

[B]

No.

[C]

You never got out of my business.

[A]

Yeah. You say you want fingers inside before.

[C]

No, Outside.

[A]

Outside.

[C]

Outside, yeah. Outside.

[A]

Some grounding energy.

[C]

Yeah. Midori the sex educator, she calls it the hug, where you take your whole hand with your fingers together, and you kind of just this cup around the. And just let your hand hang out there for, like, it's not a long time. It's like 20 to 30 seconds. And then maybe you start to massage a little bit, and then you can move to the mouth. But it's like letting the skin on skin acclimate. Like, new body, new body temperature, and then also new touch to this very sensitive, vulnerable area.

[A]

Sounds too complicated.

[C]

I don't want to do it.

[B]

It.

[A]

That sounds gay.

[C]

That sounds so gay. I think I'm the thing I've ever done.

[A]

I'd rather just penetrate you.

[C]

Yeah?

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

I'm gonna go masturbate instead.

[A]

Okay. So that's cool. Thank you for sharing that with me.

[C]

Yeah. What about you, Sean?

[A]

Well, if so, if we're talking about fellatio, I prefer slow and deep. I don't need a lot of hand. Don't need. Don't need the up and down. With the hand. Hands free. You can go hands free if you want. I'm uncircumcised. And so, you know, the head's a little more sensitive. You don't have to hang out up there that much. And, like. What's that?

[C]

I said, we love foreskin.

[A]

Yeah, Pull it up, pull it down. But. And then just go slower than you think with less suction. I don't need a lot of suction.

[C]

See, this is all really helpful because if I was about to suck your. Without knowing that I'd be using a

[A]

lot of hands, and then my body would be pulling away from you.

[C]

And then I'd be like, I know about the pulling away thing. So I'd pay attention. But if I was someone who didn't know about that because of my own body, then I'd be confused. This is why everyone conversations and communication. That simple.

[A]

Yeah. And I think I like it softer than most guys. And so, you know, you wouldn't know that if you. If I hadn't communicated that.

[C]

Sean, you're. Why at shameless sex, we have the slogan, go slower than slow, and then slower than that.

[A]

I remember that.

[C]

Yeah. It's a good one. Because we're not saying doing that all the time, but especially with new partners, a lot of people, one don't go slow, or they. The way they think they're going slow is not really that slow. So that's what we say. And then slower than that, at least to try it out. But then if you're doing that, then you can check in. Like, say I was doing that with Sean, and I know he likes slow. I would do what I think slow is, and I check in. Is this what's, like, slow enough for you? Would you like slower? Right. Like, we're constantly working together.

[A]

Slower, softer, less hand. Get those hands out of there.

[C]

Get the hand. Just tie them up behind your back. There you go. That's what I would need to do it, because I would be like, I want to put my hands on there.

[A]

So when I wrote five easy ways to be great at Eating pussy, number one, take your time. Yeah, take your time eating pussy. Like, what's the rush? What's the rush? I mean, the rush is I want to fuck you, and so I have to turn you on,

[C]

I guess. Another one. Be like, my mouth getting tired. My neck's getting tired. But, like, you're. Everyone thinks that we need to just, like, find the zoom, assume the position, and just stay there and, like, do the thing. But no, like, we can prop. We can Press pause. We can stop, we can take a break, we can relocate. Like, take care of your body.

[A]

You're jumping straight to number two. Sorry, I'm uncomfortable eating. But really, like, you know, if we slow down, like, you don't. Like you said you want, you. You want pressure, you want hands, you want. I'm trying to tease the pussy as long as I can. Like, I want your body to be actively trying to jam yourself into my mouth. Because you're now frustrated that I haven't touched your pussy yet. Yes, that's. That's the kind of timing that I want. And I said this recently. I was talking about this on Instagram and I said something like, you know, whatever, dude. Just hang out for 20 minutes. It's not a big deal. And some ladies were like, king 20 minutes. Like, to them that was unfathomable that someone would spend 20 minutes on them.

[C]

Oh, wow, it's really sad.

[A]

20 minutes is not that long, especially if you take your time.

[C]

Also just think of the time as you're on Instagram or whatever and you're scrolling and an hour just went by. Like, you got 20 minutes plus for eating time, everyone.

[A]

Yo, if you put that, like, you know, 15 minute timer thing where it's just like it shuts it down, you go, give me another 15. Yeah, that's nothing. It's no time at all.

[C]

It really, I get, you know when it would feel like a lot of time, though, is if you're in your head telling stories about, like, this is taking too long, I'm not doing a good job. You know, like, that kind of anxiety makes everything last a lot longer. So if you're. If you're experiencing that stuff where you're not able to be present and actually drop in and enjoy just giving this magic to someone, that's something to look at.

[A]

Well, giving and receiving.

[C]

Yeah, totally.

[A]

You know, I guess, I guess we can touch on that since we're right here. But like, let's say you're receiving for 20 minutes and you're in your head the whole time about how long you're taking.

[C]

I used to be that person. I was that person for so long. And so for me, the.

[A]

Shame on you. Shame on you. Shame.

[C]

It took so long to combat that. Like, I knew it was. I was like, I hate. I like, I want to love eating. I want to love this. So my. And I think the reason. So our first sexual experiences that we have in life imprint us. They stick with us, they shape us. And it doesn't mean that they're not workable, but they're pretty powerful in how they shape our systems. This includes masturbation. This includes sexual experiences with others whether consensual or not consensual. For me, my first couple of sexual experiences with other people that were consensual. They never offered to go down on me, but I was having penetrative sex with them and sucking their cocktails. I self proclaimed love, love sucking over here. But they never offered and I never asked for it because I'm like, you know, 17, 18, I don't really know what's going on. Hence why I'm in this field. Because I'm in the field of sexuality because I had so many questions.

[A]

Oh, I thought you meant like in a literal field.

[C]

No, yeah, I'm getting there.

[A]

Which I definitely, I definitely hooked up with a woman in a field at like 13 or 14. She was a girl.

[C]

Oh yes.

[A]

We were 13, 14 year old.

[C]

Yes. No, I was not actually in the field with Sean or like Sean. But no, no, that's in the human sexuality field because I was like, I don't get this. And then when people started to go down to my. It just felt pokey, ticklish and I was, in my head, I was, I had to convince stories like they're not into this. I'm taking too long. I know I'm not going to orgasm because I haven't orgasm from this before. And so I was blocking myself. But it, I think what really helped me one was recognizing that oh hey, you're not present, you're just. Your brain is somewhere else and it's thinking about all the insecurities or that you're taking too long. And then the other one is, you know, having partners though who actually I could, you know, I can tell when someone wants to be on like with my or not. And it's when I can tell someone like is really into going down on my. Then I can relax and be like, okay, that, that part about you're not taking too long that one leaves when they're like, oh my God, I love going down your pussy. I could do this for hours. I just love the taste of your pussy, the smell of your pussy. Or you know, all those things are gold. But then I have to still work with my story. If I had never orgasm from it, you know, now I have. You're not going to come, you're not going to come. And what I did was I had to change that narrative to say like something like maybe you will, you know, like just go with it and focus on the sensations, not the orgasm or what's happening or what? Sorry, what's not happening? Okay. There's a mouth on my clitoris. I feel warm. I feel tingling. I feel pulsating. Oh. Even though it's just on my clitoris, I can kind of feel the inside of my pulsing a little bit and just sticking with that. And then I had an orgasm.

[A]

Hallelujah.

[C]

Well, finally. Now it's like the easiest way for me to come.

[A]

Amen, sister. And it's. It's. It's the easiest way for a lot of women to come. I don't know what the numbers are. You know the numbers. What is it like, I don't know the.

[C]

No, I don't know the stats. I just know that I knew that and I wasn't one of those people. And I'm like, well, I'm unusual because this is the way that is the hardest for me to orgasm. But I was mostly in my own. In my own way, and I really needed to have some lovers that were pussy worshipers to help heal that with me.

[A]

Yeah. So that's a good way. And then. And what you said to bring it back to the body, I mean, that's just like kind of Mindfulness 101. That's how meditation works. That's how. How do you get out of your head? Oh, you get into your body. Body, yeah. That. There's no other way of getting out of your head but get into your body.

[C]

Yeah, exactly. And you've been focusing on the sensations is one of the easiest ways to do that. It's just tingling, warming, warmth, pressure, light, deep, whatever.

[A]

Ow. Cervix.

[C]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Which is like. Oh, too much. That's how. That's how we prevent things.

[A]

Oh, butthole. Okay.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

Oh, surprise, surprise. Oh, my God. Sean, I have a question for you.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

This is a tangent, but you spoke to. To the butthole. And this is related to you first guesting on Shameless Sex.

[A]

Okay.

[C]

In your blog or on our show, did you say that in the past you've gone down on someone and went right for the butthole? Okay. You're the reason. You are responsible for the very first date that I had with my current wonderful partner.

[A]

Nice.

[C]

When we first hooked up, he was a podcast fan, and we were. We didn't have penetrative sex. I'm not. Usually don't have penetrative sex in the first date because it's just really invasive for me, and I have to really trust you. And so we were like. He was about to Go down. He's going down. About to go down on me and he went right for my asshole. And I was like, he's a fan. I never even said anything about like that this is my thing. But okay, like this is kind of fun. And so we just figured it out yesterday. We've been together for almost seven years that it's you.

[A]

I'm honored.

[C]

Yeah, it was fun. It makes for a great story too.

[A]

I'm honored. Yeah. The whole like eating ass before, before cunnilingus or like on a first date or second date or something is like such a wild thing to do. Yeah. And it's like, okay, we're not, we're not go. There's no conversation. You're not going like, hey, is it okay if I eat your ass right now? Yeah, obviously there's buy in happening slowly through like non verbal sort of action. Right. Like you're. You. Did you know that he was going to sort of like circling the, circling the drain.

[C]

I knew he was going my and like with his mouth and I was totally down. I just didn't know that it was going to go right to my ass. And it was, I was like, this is a bold move. I like it.

[A]

It's a bold move. It's a totally a bold move. It's not for everybody out there listening. You want, you want non verbal buy in, right? You, you want to go slow. You don't want to surprise anybody with that.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

It wasn't just like we just kiss for a second. You went right for, for my.

[A]

I have also some, some really fun things with, with, with lovers that I've done is like you're making out and instead of playing with their, you play with their. Before playing with their pussy and they're just like, whoa. Like I was not expecting that. And I'm really, really into it.

[C]

Yeah. The. Is a highly erogenous zone, everyone. And we're not talking about like jamming things deep inside.

[A]

No, we're not talking about doing this to strangers. Yes. Although, although you could have a sex date. You know, I've called them sex dates. What is that? Is that, is that. It's like a hookup or something?

[C]

Yeah, yeah, same thing.

[A]

It's a sex day. But like you could hook up with somebody and meet them on field and make a plan where it's kind of clear that both of you are into having sex. Right. Because there's a lot of like direct communication about it, especially on field.

[C]

Which is why I love that app.

[A]

Yeah, you love field. You love Uber Lube.

[C]

I love these things. I mean I love a lot of things. Magic wand.

[A]

I love your sponsors too.

[B]

Yeah, yeah.

[C]

Field is not a current sponsor. Okay. They have sponsored before.

[A]

Well, feel the field and Uber Lube, if you're listening, hit me up.

[C]

But that's why I feel is great though because you can have those conversations ahead of time and a lot of people don't do that. Hey, what are you into? We can talk about that before I even meet you in person for the first time.

[A]

Yeah. And you, you know there are but sluts out there.

[C]

Yeah, there are.

[A]

Okay, so go slow. Go slow. The other thing that you touched on is get comfortable. If you're comfortable on the bed, then you shouldn't have a crick in your neck.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

And for me, because I'm six foot, I've been telling people I'm five two just as a joke. But tall guy. Yeah. That probably means me going on the diagonal on a queen size bed. So ask her. Hey, can you scooch into the corner?

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

And then I'm comfortable. My whole body is being supported. And then I'm going to put my hand, my arm in a particular position so that I can finger you at the same time. But where my, my arm or my hand doesn't get tired, doesn't get sleepy. My neck isn't cricked. Like I can really go for. I can go the distance because I'm comfy. So get comfy.

[C]

And for the receiver too. Like make sure you're in your most comfortable position, that your body can fully relax. Because if you're feeling some sort of thing where you're really holding yourself, you're not present because you're going to be thinking about that.

[A]

Yeah. Get a pillow under your ass. Yeah, whatever. Whatever you need.

[C]

Yeah. I, I personally find for myself I am able to receive and feel the most pleasure when I'm on my back with my legs open and spread because then my body can fully relax when I do the whole like face sitting kind of up on my knees, dangling my in the face. It's kind of for me personally, it's a more for funsies for my partner because I can't fully relax. So it's more of like a fun pleasure game as opposed to like where I'm gonna have my powerful orgasm. But that's just, just me.

[A]

Yeah. Okay. You said you touched on hygiene real quick. Yeah, hygiene as like a reason why maybe some people don't like going down on.

[C]

Yeah. So some people will think like, you know, that you, you know, A is gross, it's dirty. And I just want to let everyone know that the is gen. Unless there's STI is present or like bacterial infections is generally cleaner than a mouth. Mouths are dirty and full of bacteria. And so if you're okay making out with that person but you're like, oh, their pussy's dirtier than there is a dirty place.

[A]

You're.

[C]

You're inaccurate because the pussy is self cleaning and it's not putting all kinds of nasty weird food and stuff that's turning into bacterias in your mouth.

[B]

Now.

[C]

Yes, this is a genitals. It can get STIs and things like that or just bacterial infections, yeast infections. And some people have had experiences where they've gone down on pussies that didn't smell very good. This happens, this happens to penises. I've gone down on some dicks where I could smell their buttholes. Okay, so you're not special. Or like sweaty ball smell. And don't let that deter you from the genitals. We can have conversations about it. My partner's really good at this. He'll just be like about to go down and be like, I think you just, just get. Let's just hop in the shower, just clean our bottoms. Just for, you know, just. Let's clean our bottoms, you know, and make it like a we experience.

[A]

Okay. I hate that by the way.

[C]

You don't like that?

[A]

Let's, let's clean our bottoms.

[C]

Okay. The bottoms I thought was layers. Like, do you say bottom? Like, what am I, five?

[A]

But like the. Sorry, I'm just gonna push back on this idea of like, hey, let's hop in the shower. Yeah. When really like your pussy smells you. Yeah, yeah, I'm not into it. Like, look, just, just say like, hey, honey, do you mind hopping in the shower real quick?

[C]

I wouldn't be offended by that. I think that there is just some people, as you know, because you've probably been intimate with them. They need a little more fluffy fluffies.

[A]

No, not me.

[C]

You're. You don't, you don't need fluffies. But there are some people who do.

[A]

The people that I hook up with don't eat it. They're not going to get it for me.

[C]

Oh yeah, sorry. Give a fuck if you need some fluff.

[A]

I mean, I'm also just like, whatever your smells right now. It's like, who cares? Eat it anyways. And we're gonna. Because sex is kind of. Some of it can be a little repulsive and there's Something about that repulsion that can actually turn you on.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

And also sex is like, it's ridiculous. That's why we call it play. Like, when I was just on this sex crews looking in the playroom, all these bodies having sex, I was kind of laughing inside. Not that they were, like, unattractive or do anything wrong. It's just. It's when you really look at it and we're like, oh, look at, look at the two dogs having sex. They're so funny. We look the same. Y', all, like, stop taking it so seriously.

[A]

It is ridiculous for sure. Yeah.

[C]

We're like bumping ugly is literally.

[A]

But. But I. I'm not into like, hey, let's go take a shower. You know, it's like, no, I don't need to take a shower. I took a shower.

[C]

I'm good.

[A]

You need to take a shower.

[C]

Yeah, that's. That's for you to go.

[A]

Are you open to taking a shower right now so I can go down on you some more? I have a friend whose friend has, like, really bad BV apparently.

[C]

Or like very like, chronic, baby.

[A]

Chronic bv. I don't mean to say it's bad. I don't want to put a judgment on it, but it's chronic. Yeah. And she just doesn't give a fuck.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

She's just like, whatever, whatever. Eat it or don't, I don't care, but I have bv.

[C]

This is it. Yeah.

[A]

Part of me, like, really respects that. I'm like, totally. I'm kind of curious.

[C]

That's. Yeah.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

What's that taste like?

[C]

It tastes. Yeah. I mean, I check was. I check at least at everything else. At least once, you know, I'm like,

[A]

I. I want to see everybody naked.

[C]

Yeah, you're like a pussy connoisseur at least once.

[A]

No. Anybody? I just want to see them naked. Like, what do you look like naked?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Interesting. Yeah.

[C]

Cool, huh?

[A]

Well, you're very, very curious. Yeah. Yeah.

[C]

You're kind of. I kind of. You're. You're a pervert like me. And then I don't say that as, like an insult. I. When I use the term pervert, for me, it's like adventurousness. Just really curious. Like, kind of more open minded. More like, oh, I wonder what that would be like. I don't know if I like it, but, like, what's that like?

[A]

I'll try it a couple times. For sure.

[C]

Why not?

[A]

I will try it a couple times.

[C]

Yeah. Okay. So, yeah. So then obviously from listening everyone, you can tell there's different ways of this. Like, some people, they're like, let's just be direct. Let's just.

[A]

Look, I don't want in my sex. Okay. Like, yeah, if your ass is dirty. I'm not. Go. Just go. Go.

[C]

That's just common decency though. And also I'd say like as a. As a receiver, if you have any questions about if your ass smells before you're hooking up with someone, just go clean it. Just go do something about it.

[A]

Well, and as someone who has a foreskin.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

I can't tell the. I can't count the amount of times that I've had to go do like a little penis rinse.

[C]

Like the schmegma.

[A]

Wow. Yes.

[C]

Isn't that what I think?

[A]

If you let it. Yes. But if you. If you let it get that bad. Yeah, yeah. But a little. A little like French sink wash. Oh,

[C]

that's so nice that you can just put your penis into a sink and clean it. Like we do not. It's not that easy unless you got a bidet over here.

[A]

Yeah, well, the bidet. And I think everybody, you know, I'm just going to say I think you should have a bidet. Everybody should have a bidet.

[C]

Yeah, yeah.

[A]

Good for. Good for just like a little rinsey poo right before. Or rinse the poo. Right.

[C]

Yeah. They have to say no pun intended with that.

[A]

Yeah. It's true though. The sink wash is a powerful careful. I mean, you know, the external hardware has benefits for sure.

[C]

I need to get more flexible so I can put my feet on the sides of the sink and then squat down. But I can't squat that deep.

[A]

I mean, you might break the sink. You have to be careful.

[C]

Probably would.

[A]

You got to be careful, I think, I guess like a baby wipe.

[C]

Yeah, yeah, totally.

[A]

You know, not. Not a scented one. Just like a real. You know, basically.

[C]

The scented ones are also bad for owners. It gives you yeast infections and UTIs. You don't want any of that stuff all up in there.

[A]

So. Yeah. Little. Little Rinsy poo before can is always good.

[C]

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[B]

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[C]

Can we say uber picky?

[B]

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[C]

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[B]

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[A]

All right, what else? Okay, I have a couple tips.

[B]

Yeah?

[A]

Yeah, I got a couple tips. Okay. If. If you need help, people that, that need help with going down, read the book she Comes First.

[C]

Ah, yes.

[A]

By Ian Kerner. You probably interviewed him, right?

[C]

Twice. Yeah. He's amazing.

[A]

So there's just a lot of strategies, one of them being, hey, she Comes First. Yeah, let's. Let's do that first. But another one is like, okay, go super slow. And then I guess I would call this like the pussy sandwich, which is two fingers inside, you know, on the G spot. Whether it's like a come hither or windshield wiper or even just pressure. Then clitoral stimulation with my mouth and my tongue. And then top hand on the mons.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Above the clit. So you've got a sandwich.

[C]

All right, you're not watching the video version. He's sandwiching. He's in there. And you actually just showed too. Like, you're. You're getting your face in there. You're not like, you're like, oh, yeah, you're getting this.

[A]

This whole. My nose. If I'm eating your, like the. The opening. There's a chance that my nose is in there.

[C]

We can barely see him.

[A]

And that's fine. That's fine.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

It's not.

[A]

Sometimes, Sometimes you have to, like, open mouth, eat because you're. You're, you know, sometimes you're congested. Sometimes, you know, I don't know. What if you have a deviated septum or something? Yeah. But, you know, you got to open mouth so that you can breathe while you're eating. And then, you know, this is. This is nice. Some pressure on top, you know?

[C]

Yeah. And you know what's so. It's so funny that you're talking about when you get your sucked, you're like, no hands. And now you're talking about bringing in all these hands. I agree with what you're saying. And, and like, I. I think that that is really help. The pressure on top kind of. Also for me, when people do that, it help makes me feel kind of held and, like, grounding. But also it's pushing things all kind of together in this area and all these spots, especially with the internal G spot action. That's good stuff.

[A]

Well, one thing that's kind of fun to do is to tell them to stop moving.

[C]

Oh, yeah.

[A]

Because there's a lot of writhing and grinding and the hips are doing all this stuff. And I could. I will be like, don't move. Yeah, do not move. And Then they'll start moving. I go, don't move or else I'll stop. You know? And so there's, like, some teasing, but it. It can kind of send them into a whole different world if you're trying to actively not move and sort of, like, actually relax and not tense up. Up. And not control the experience. Like, just don't move. Let me do this thing.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

And see what happens. Can be really fun.

[C]

Totally. Yeah. And that's kind of a power move, too. Like, there's something. When you said that's kind of hot, I'm like. I felt my body, like, surrender and kind of relax even more to, like, whatever. I'm like. And I'd have to trust you, obviously. So for an important trust. Okay, this guy's knows what's up. I'm gonna surrender. And, like, then. But then it's kind of nodding, like, what If I move, I'm gonna be in trouble.

[A]

Ooh, you will be in trouble. Yeah, I'm gonna. I'm gonna take my fingers out, and you're gonna be really, really upset with me.

[C]

We don't want that to happen.

[A]

I wanna. What? Go.

[C]

I was gonna say with what we were just saying. Just real quick. I just want to do, like, the briefest of anatomy lessons in case anyone's new, and so I won't. I'm not gonna go deep into, like, internal anatomy and stuff. If you're watching the video, it might

[A]

require you to go deep into the internal anatomy if you're doing it right.

[C]

Hey, I got a hole in here. I have. So if you're watching the video version, I do have a vulva puppet. This would be what YouTube and social media. I don't know if it'll make on social media, but here's my vulva puppet. And so my vulva puppet is not to scale because it has a massive. I wish my clit was that big. Although I am perimenopause, I am on testosterone now, and my. Has grown, which is.

[A]

Oh, yeah. I've had that experience too.

[C]

It's amazing.

[A]

I'm like, yeah, big old clits.

[C]

I love it. I love it. I talked to my lesbian friends, like, like, oh, my God, I love a woman with a big. All right. Anyways, so on the top here, we have the clitoris, but the clitoris. Okay, there's the clitoral hood. That's like, foreskin. Embryologically, it's the same. It's the same as. As Sean's foreskin. Well, not Sean's, but you know what I mean. Same tissue. Which makes it interesting for my brain to think that we often are cutting off foreskin on penis owners, but we really look down on it for vulva owners. It has a lot of nerve endings, and it's protecting a very delicate area. But under that is the head of the clitoris. So that. That is just. Just one tiny part of the clitoris. The clitoris actually extends back, so it's like a wishbone. So that's the head that you see, but it has a neck that goes back and then two legs. Yeah, Sean's doing it right now, like, upside down. Peace sign. That go behind the vestibular bulbs or. Or the outer labia. And so that's why the outer labia, which is kind of the puffy part, does, like, a lot of pressure. When you're massaging the outer, outer labia, you're getting. You're massaging the clitoris as well. And then as we go down, we have the inner labia. You. We used to say laby labia majora, labia minora. Some people are like, my labia menorah is bigger, so whatever. Inner outer labia.

[A]

Some don't have any labia. Yeah, yeah.

[C]

And they're like, you're. You're menorah. Ing my menorah. You know, See what I tried to do? There's like, ignore. Anyways, so the inner labia, though, generally is more sensitive. Has a lot of nerve endings. So while it does like pressure, it also can respond more to light touch and things like that also is more like delicate tissue, though. So this is like, maybe you're going around this air, this whole area with a little more caution. Not caution is not the right word, but like, more care. Let's say care. And then inside his. The little rose thing here, this is going to be the urethral opening. So this is where both.

[A]

Careful.

[C]

An ejaculate comes out of. But your mind's not a rose.

[A]

Don't put your finger in there.

[C]

Yeah, don't put your finger in there. Unless you're into that kind of play. And then beneath that, as we go inside the vaginal canal, that's where the G spot. G area is. It's not really just one spot. It's, you know, it's kind of the tail end of the clitoral structure. It's all related and connected. And what is really interesting about this whole thing, a lot of you know this, but I'm just going to say it. When we look at this, we often say vagina. It's not It's a vulva. And. Or I say, but the vagina is actually inside, it's not outside. Does that really matter that much? No, it doesn't. But a lot of people don't like the term vagina. I don't love when people are about to go down. I mean, like, you have the most beautiful vagina. I personally don't know.

[A]

That's because I'm in there. I'm actually in there and I'm like, it's a nice vagina.

[C]

No, now that applies. I wouldn't be able to hear you. And inside the vaginal canal, embryologically, it's like the same tissue as the shaft of the penis. So it has nerve endings, but not a ton. And so it responds more to pressure than to light touch. Just like the shaft of the penis. Does the head of the penis embryologically the same as the clitoris? Right. We're all the same or different part. We have the same parts. There's organize and operate differently. That's Emily Nagoski's. It's not mine being. That's my lesson.

[A]

Vulvar anatomy 101.

[C]

Thank you. Vulva. We just vulvered vulva. It's not a Volvo, it's a Volva. There you go.

[A]

That's great. Thank you so much for that.

[C]

Yeah, yeah. I know a lot of people don't know that. So, like, when you're stimulating. When Sean's talking about having his face buried in there. Buried, Buried. You're not just stimulating the head, the clitoris, or just the labia. You're. You're stimulating the entire. This. I want to say horseshoe, but that's not what I meant. Wishbone. Did I say horseshoe? Whatever Structure of the clitoris. Because your face, including, like, your cheeks, your nose, all these parts of you are getting in there, massaging this whole part of the body. It's amazing.

[A]

I will say that one good way to let your, you know, your partner know that you enjoy going down on them is to like. Is to moan. And that actually feels really good too. There's like vibrator. Yeah. So, like, be vocal.

[C]

I do that when I have.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

When I'm on the. My mouth in the. You're like, let that person know how delicious their is. And you're also providing a free vibrator for them.

[A]

Yeah. A little bit of verbal affirmation. Always. Good. Love your tastes. So good. Oh, my God, it's so hot. You're so wet. Oh, my God. Like.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Then there's no question. Oh, does. Is he into this. Oh, he's like really into this. This.

[C]

Yeah. And you don't have to like, you don't have to say like constantly be saying things. A lot of people get in their heads about dirty talk and like performative things in terms of what they say. I honestly feel like if you just say one or two lines that are praising my. We're good, like, that's it. You did your dirty talk for the day and I feel great.

[A]

I love your. Doesn't have to be any more complicated than that, guys. Don't. Don't worry about it. Yeah. You're so wet.

[C]

Yeah. You taste so good.

[A]

You taste so good. It's so hot. I can't wait to you. Whatever. Whatever. Anything. It's like, it's a good way of dirty talk is just like say the thing you want to do or say the thing that you're doing.

[C]

Yeah, seriously.

[B]

That's it.

[C]

That's all.

[A]

I love eating.

[C]

Yeah. Yeah.

[A]

Your is so hard.

[C]

You taste so good in my mouth.

[A]

I want more.

[C]

Yeah. Yeah. Seriously, it really. And then once again, all you need to do is throw out a couple of those lines. You did a dirty talk thing. And then you just help the person really, you know, relax and surrender. I have a question for you, Sean. Did you have. Did you have a phase? Like, did you have to learn somehow to appreciate pushy as pussy as much as you did, or is this has kind of always been built into you?

[A]

Yeah, I think it was a built in thing.

[C]

Yeah. Okay, so there was no like, like really needing to overcome any of the messages around or anything. It was just like. No, I'm just. That's. That's. Yeah, that's how my partner is too.

[A]

I mean. Yeah, I want to be in, in there.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

You know?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

I want to be in there with like any. Any way that I can.

[C]

Yeah. Yeah.

[A]

You know, who knows what I'm. What I'm, you know, subconsciously trying to like accomplish there, you know, maybe I'm just like returning. Returning to the womb. Probably. I'm sure I'm returning to the womb. It's like his whole head is in there. Yeah. I just don't want to begin. I don't want to be out here. I want to be in there.

[C]

It's all warm and silky.

[A]

Well, it's all warm. You can you go back to being an infant? You don't have to take care of yourself if you're inside. The life is great.

[C]

Yeah. I mean, sometimes some people. Times people experience God, nirvana, whatever their definition of that is spirituality, to be fair.

[A]

Like when I'm having sex, everything is all good. I don't, there's like, you know, it's, it's, it's like, it's a break from reality.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Right. We're like, I'm like connecting with, with God basically spiritually in some way. Right. Like there really is very, very, very, very spiritual about having sex.

[C]

I find it, you know, as someone who is a super heady, fast moving, controlling person. Sex is a way for me to, to be the opposite of that and to like, like actually surrender. Like I'm such a doer and, and like, so it's really hard for me not to control. And so I tend to show up as more of a, a submissive person in sex. And it's so healing for me. You know, as long as my, I have partners that feel still met by that.

[A]

Right.

[C]

If I'm with someone else's submissive, it's not going to work out. But it's, it's a really healing, healing beautiful thing for me with, with the, the right match and then the worshipers, you know, the people like yourself who are just like, I love this. Like, I like, you know, I just want to be as in it as possible. Is, is healing too. For whether it's for me in my past experience of people not feeling that way about me or just pussies in general to like, you know, if I was someone who did have extreme sexual trauma or didn't love the taste or the smell of my. But I had someone like you, Sean, or someone else who was worshiping it, that in itself can totally heal. So there's another reason, another motivation for people to become worshipers. Like, you can help lovingly heal someone.

[A]

Yeah. I also think that this like a female as sub is pretty common for like high achievers or you know.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Women who are like, you know, not saying you're a control freak, but.

[C]

Oh, I am.

[A]

For people who struggle with control in their lives, it's, it's, you know, important for them. Can be important for them to, to relinquish control in some ways in the bedroom.

[C]

Yeah, yeah, 100%.

[A]

And that's fun because I also am a control freak. So I get to then control the bedroom thing as well.

[C]

Great. Yeah, yeah, 100%. Yeah, it's fantastic. I really appreciate your perspective on it. And so my question for you would be, what would your advice be to that person? Let's just generalize and say let's call them a man. Some man who's like My partner keeps asking me for more for me to go down on them. I'm like, I don't know. I'm like, not really that, like that into it. Like, what would your advice be for them? If it's like a quick advice.

[A]

Oh, God. I mean, it's tough. It's tough. Yeah. Because part of me wants to be like, dude, just get over it. Like, like you're gonna do things that you're not super into for your partner because you love your partner. Right. And it's like, if this one thing brings them pleasure, okay. But also I want to give room for things that you're just really not into. Like, oh, I can't stand it. It turns me off. I feel. It feels gross. Then it's like, okay, then maybe you're just not, you know, in that area of your life, maybe not that compatible. Or in that area of your sex life. That might just be the reality. Right. There are things that your partner is not going to want to do no matter how much you want them to do. And there are things that you're not going to want to do, whether in or outside of the bedroom, and we have to be okay with some of that. And if it's. It is crucial that your partner eats your pussy on a regular basis and your partner is not into that, then maybe they're not the right partner for you.

[C]

Sounds like a deal breaker to me.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Or. Or you open up your relationship and you find a pussy worshiper or you find some other way of getting your needs met that is, you know, not breaking any sort of agreements in your relationship. But the reality is that we'll never gonna find anybody that. That, that ticks all the boxes.

[C]

It's just not how it works. Yeah, it's.

[A]

It's. You are not a baby. Yeah, a baby is gonna get all their boxes ticked by their parents for the most part. Hopefully. Hopefully. Hopefully that's the expectation of a baby. But as an adult, you can't expect that. Even though I'm just now at 43, learning.

[C]

Yeah, well, surprise, surprise.

[A]

I'm not a baby. Okay, I got it. That's what my thera been talking about recently.

[C]

Dang it.

[A]

There are things that your partner is not going to want to do. And if it's. If that happens to be oral sex and that's important to you, then. Then you either grieve it and stay in that relationship because, you know, being in the relationship brings you more than being alone, or find an alternate solution.

[C]

Yeah, totally. 100. Yeah, I. I agree with that. And I would just be curious with that person. Like, okay, you're not really that into it. Tell me more about what you're not. Why, why you're not into it. Like, what about it? And I feel like we would normally hear something about you had some traumatic experience in the past or you don't feel skilled or what. Yeah, it's something like that that is. It's all, for the most part workable. Unless you're someone who's just like, it's gonna put you in panic mode and like freak you the out. Then it's not your thing. But like, for most people there's. It's just often a lack of experience and knowledge.

[A]

Yeah. Or. Yeah. Does it, does it gross you out? You know, like what, what is it about it that grosses you out is the smell? Is it the taste? Is it the act? Does it feel too submissive? Like, and what's wrong? What's. What's so wrong about that? Like, yeah, why don't you like being in a submissive role for a little bit? You know, like, what does that. What's the story behind all that?

[C]

Yeah, too much.

[A]

But ultimately just stop being a. And go down on your partner.

[C]

Stop being.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

And you can also tell your partner, like, hey, I don't think someone's less of a man or person if they're like, hey, like, I don't feel very experienced in this. So, like, I'm still kind of learning. Can you like, bear with me and give me a lot of feedback along the way? I find that really hot.

[A]

Yeah. But you know how fucking hard that is to admit.

[C]

A hundred percent. No, no one's going to do it.

[A]

Like, sorry, I'm not really good at eating pussy. I haven't really done it much.

[B]

Okay.

[C]

I wouldn't say I'm not really good. I would be like, if you're really nervous though, you're like, okay. And also like, first time, like, let's bring this. Like, first time anal sex, people. You've never had anal sex. You're gonna do it for the first time. You're probably really scared because most people are. Instead of just trying to pretend like you're all confident and I said talking about anal sex. Sorry. Be like, hey, I'm a little scared about this. Like, can we go really slow? Or like, you know, you can out the elephant in the room and just admit like, I am not a master, you know, but if, if that helps

[A]

you because you mean that taking.

[C]

What's that?

[A]

You mean that receiving?

[C]

When I'M just talking, like, comparing it to anal sex. Right. Like people having. Taking in their ass for the first time.

[A]

Well, I mean, terrified. First of all, they should be terrified because most men are terrible at it.

[C]

It's true.

[A]

And they're going way too fast. Like, you need. You talk about 20 minutes. You might need more than 20 minutes. I mean, you might need 20 minutes just to warm it up. To even take a head.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Before you can take. Then you need another 20 minutes to take the whole thing. Guys aren't taking that long, so.

[C]

No, you're born. They're like seeing it just jam.

[B]

Jab, jab.

[C]

Like my butthole.

[A]

I mean, she's. She's fully dilated. She's 8cm.

[C]

She' she had a butt plug in for three hours before and it was massive.

[A]

And she's on poppers and she's been doing it for seven years.

[C]

Yeah, yeah, she's skilled.

[A]

She's skilled. Yeah. So. So you, you have every right to be terrified. And anal sex can go really wrong really quickly if you don't have someone who's willing to go super, super slow.

[C]

And that's not something you really want to go really wrong. Because it could actually. Well, it could mean there's one part you can get tears, it could be dangerous. And then the other part is there's a lot of people, they have one bad negative anal sex experience.

[A]

They ruined it for the rest of us. For the rest of our lives.

[B]

Forever.

[C]

Yeah. So don't be that person. Don't ruin it for everyone.

[A]

Quit it up for me. Yeah.

[C]

Stop. We want to have anal over here. God.

[A]

Also short kings. Short kings, yeah. AKA anal sex. Dicks, dude.

[C]

There are some good. Yeah, the big dick people. I'm like, so you probably don't get to have a lot of anal, do you?

[A]

All my five inch brothers, my five inch brethren's. Let's go unite.

[C]

Yeah, exactly. And yet people listening who don't like anal sex, we're not saying this just because, like, it makes penis owners happy, because they get to ask. I've had very, very orgasmic, pleasurable anal sex. Usually it involves, though, my being touched at the same time in some way and whatever. I'm having orgasmic anal sex. It's amazing.

[A]

Yeah. You can have orgasms, you could squirt, you can do all sorts of. Of.

[C]

Oh, my God. The possibilities are limitless, Sean.

[A]

And, and the myth is that it's tighter. And I don't think that's true.

[C]

Well, because as it relaxes, it's not tighter.

[A]

No, it's real. It's real soft and accommodating sometimes gaping. Gaping. And there's no kegel. There's no Kegel muscles there. There's nothing to squeeze. I mean, you could squeeze your butthole, but then that can be, I think, a little painful.

[C]

Yeah, you could try. I'm trying. I'm doing it right now as we speak.

[A]

Yeah, I am, too.

[C]

That's good. It's good practice. We're exercising our pelvic floors.

[B]

Wow.

[C]

While we record two birds, one stone.

[A]

So we're learning. We're learning a lot. Oh, I guess. I guess. Also a little bit of anal stimulation during oral sex.

[C]

Yeah, why not? That's like a 2.0 right there. Right. Like adding in some other. Other things. Other, like, maybe more. More exciting tools. I also, like, I was someone as it was the nipple person. Now, I haven't always been into my nipples being touched, but my partner going down on me, he has one hand working around my. And another hand on a nipple or

[A]

choking you the out.

[C]

Yeah, but not like. But if you're new to choking, everyone,

[A]

please squeeze from the side. Squeeze from the sides.

[C]

Yeah, And. And, like, don't. You don't actually need to fully really squeeze. It's kind of more like a gentle grip if, like, you don't have to do much for it to feel like choking. Yeah. Sean's showing right now. Or you can kind of go like, more of the base with just two fingers. You can't really kill someone that easily with two fingers.

[A]

Well, you can't really kill them at all if you're squeezing from the side into their neck. You don't want to, like, with their.

[C]

The, like trachea or. I don't know if that's the right

[A]

term, but the windpipe. We're not talking with the windpipe.

[C]

But the.

[A]

The side of the neck is all muscle.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

So you can squeeze that pretty hard without. Without constricting anybody's breath at all.

[C]

What I would recommend to people, if they're new to doing choking and stuff, is practice with each other, not in a sexual scenario. Practice the, like, squeezing, and it will

[A]

become a sexual scenario.

[C]

Yeah. Well, then it can turn into that. You get turned on. But, like, do it outside of that. I mean, like. Okay, what. How do I. What is the pressure? Like, okay, this way you can still breathe, but it feels like I'm choking you. Cool. Now I know.

[A]

Okay.

[C]

Okay, now.

[A]

What a great suggestion.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

Yeah, why not? There's, like, ways that we can. People always think. Talking about Sex outside the bedroom isn't hot. It's boring. It can get you laid. Fools.

[A]

Who are these people?

[C]

I don't know.

[A]

Who are these guys?

[C]

A lot. I mean, it's people in general. I know a lot of women also who that like, they don't want to have the conversations. They don't think it's sexy. And. And that's a matter of perspective. And you're ruining it for yourself.

[A]

I wrote something here, you know, you, about using your words. And some of the, some of the words are like, does this. So if you're like trying to get some feedback, does this feel good? Do you prefer constant pressure on your G spot or do you like in and out motion? Do you like circular motion on your clitoris or more of an up and down? Should I use the flat part of my tongue or the tape? The tip of my tongue. Here, let me try both. And tell me which you prefer. And then I say the best way to find out what you're doing if what you're doing is working is to ask experts. Don't guess. Talk about it. Talk about what you like. Talk about what you want.

[C]

And then like along the way too, right? It's not just like in the beginning. It's like during the, the act and after.

[A]

What'd you do? What'd you do with that? Was there like a swirling thing? What was the swirling? And you're like, oh, the swirl is this.

[C]

Yeah. And then again in that conversation can be sexy too. Like, y', all, I've had plenty of times. We start talking about the sex that you just had and then more sex starts happening. So everybody wins. Once again.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

I love everybody wins.

[C]

Everybody wins. Yeah. I think that there's there, there's our. And if you're newer to communication, for anyone listening, like, like just start small and start just like practicing little bits of. Of sexual conversations. Like a lot of people just feel like it's terrifying just because it's about sex. You don't have to go full on and into, like, tell me all of your fantasies. Right? It could just be like something really small scale. Like tell me about just one sec. Like really hot scenario sexy experience that you had in your past or something that like people can hold on to and it's easier to communicate about.

[A]

Hey, I like that. Start small.

[C]

Start small. All right. Should we go to rapid fire now? Do we want to rapid fire? Do we want. We have more to say? Are you going to share your blog with people? Right?

[A]

I will. Yeah. Yeah. Show notes. Check the show notes.

[C]

Okay, cool.

[A]

Don't quit before the miracle happens.

[C]

Oh, yeah.

[A]

You know, like. Okay. Of course, if. If. If someone says, don't stop, don't stop. Don't stop. Don't change a thing. Yeah, do not change a thing. I think that, like. Like, when you get to that point, it's like, just. Just. Just do the same thing. Unless they say, like, harder, faster or slower or anything. Just like.

[C]

Yeah. And that goes with what I was saying before. If my body is moving towards you, you're doing a great job. That's like a. Keep doing what you're doing because, like, my body is giving you feedback. Like, we like this so much that we're trying to get closer to you.

[A]

And look, if they say, don't stop, and then your, like, tongue gets sore or your neck starts to crick, suck it the up. This is like that last set at the gym.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

You can do it.

[A]

You got this. You can do this. This. Your tongue will be okay. I'm not saying get hurt. Yeah. Okay. But, like, suck it up.

[C]

Yeah. Yeah.

[A]

Sometimes it requires going the extra mile,

[C]

and if for some reason you absolutely can't, you can really easily lube up your hands and swap it out. It won't give the exact same sensation, but you can swap out and use your hands while you let your mouth or tongue relax for a little bit and come right back. It might disrupt the whole scenario for a little bit.

[B]

It.

[C]

But it doesn't mean you give up. You, like, you can keep going.

[A]

Sometimes my left arm gets sore and I swap it to the right.

[C]

You know, sometimes just hang on a numb arm for a while and you survive. Your arm's gonna still be there.

[A]

And then don't stop until she physically pulls your face off her or says, you can stop now, or I'd like you to me now. Yeah, don't stop. Yeah. Yeah.

[C]

I like this. That's true.

[A]

That's what I wanted to end on.

[C]

I think that that is very important. And I love how you said so in the beginning. You're teasing so much. You're building her up so much that you want her to be, like, hungry for your mouth all buried in her. And then at the end, you're hanging out there for as long as you're, you know, as you can until she's like, okay, now me. Or, like, I am so complete that you can stop. Voila. Ultimate statue session.

[A]

She comes first or whatever. She gets hers first.

[C]

Yeah. Yeah.

[A]

You know, the reality is, it's just a good motto.

[C]

It really is good.

[A]

Motto to live by. You don't. You can switch it up. Of course, you know, you don't have to abide by this all the time, but like, it's a good, good place to start.

[C]

Well, in there with the she comes first thing. Like penises get blood flow faster than pussies do, so just tend to take longer in general. And so that's just like, just part of it. And pussy owners often can have multi multiple orgasms and don't have the refractory period. So. So you give her the orgasm. That doesn't mean she's going to necessarily be out of commission. Right. She can have more orgasms or like still have pleasure. And so. And you know, your orgasm for penis owners often is like, can be limited

[A]

one, one and done. Yeah. Unless you're in your Montauk Chia or you're a multi orgasmic male or you're 18. Or you're 18. Although I will say, you know, I have had some experiences recently where the old refractory period was pretty short.

[C]

Yeah. Yeah.

[A]

Surprisingly.

[C]

Yeah. Yeah.

[A]

Sometimes you could just like soak. You could soak in there for. And just hang out for a little bit.

[C]

And soaking is nice too. Sometimes it's nice to just have a. Just hang out and you hang out

[A]

there in the juices.

[C]

We're all like, dang, this is.

[A]

I'm excited. I like can't, can't wait to have sex again.

[C]

I know, Me too.

[A]

I was thinking about just hanging out in some pussy. It's gonna be great.

[C]

Oh yeah, it's gonna be. You're gonna be all like, like tuned up and ready to go.

[A]

Who's it gonna be?

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

Who's the lucky person?

[A]

I don't know, actually. We'll see.

[C]

Well, after they listen to this episode. Sean's number is 555.

[A]

That's right, 555.

[C]

Send me your applications. I'll approve.

[A]

Right, Amy? Amy has to. Has to filter them out.

[C]

Yes, I do. Yes, I now know. Tell me how slow you go.

[A]

Yeah, so. Yeah, exactly.

[C]

You seem a little handy. So.

[A]

Yeah, no hands. Hands.

[C]

Yeah, no hands.

[A]

All right, let's rapid fire.

[C]

Okay, rapid fire, everyone. So this is just for funsies and we're gonna talk about our personal opinions on if these things are hot or not. All right, Sean, hot or not? Face sitting.

[A]

Yeah, hot. It's can be really fun to be just like kind of trapped underneath you. Right.

[C]

I love it.

[A]

And, and there's. I think there's two positions. One where you're kind of squatting. But you kind of need like a headboard to. To hold on to. Yeah. And then the other way, you're. Maybe you're on your knees. Either way, you're either facing towards me or away from me.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

And you're sort of lowering yourself. And I think with that you've got a little more control or it's less. Requires less, like, muscle.

[C]

Yeah, Yeah. I think. I think the action of his hot. Just as I said earlier, it's not how I feel the most pleasure because I'm having to, like, really hold my body up. But I think it's hot, like, to do or to experience or witness. It looks super hot. And then that's. And that's different from queening everyone, I believe queening, or wait, is face. No. Face sitting. No, wait, queening is when you're in the chair. Never mind, that's different. There's face sitting where you're like, practically suffocating someone. And it's a asphyxiation thing. I'm talking more of just like the above having your eating. You're not actually choking someone out.

[A]

Yeah. And then you can. If you're face sitting, you can also, like, like, you know, grab my. And do all sorts of other things.

[C]

Yes. You can do all kinds of nipples. All the things. Okay. Hot or not going down on someone while they are menstruating.

[A]

Sure. Yeah, yeah, for sure.

[C]

Sean's an equal opportunist.

[A]

Throw us. Throw a freak sheet or a splash blanket or a stack of towels and we're good. Yeah, it's all good. Maybe get a little, like. Maybe you want, like a little. I mean, I just don't. I have white sheets and so that's the only thing. It's like. Think it ends up looking like kind of a murder scene.

[C]

Crime scene.

[A]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[C]

So you just get like a dark. Some dark towels or one of those waterproof squirt blankets. Throw it in the wash, you're good.

[A]

What about you as a. As a menstruator?

[C]

Oh, I think that if someone. If a man wants to go or person wants to go down on me while I'm bleeding, I find that super hot because I'm like, they are brave, they're adventurous, they're not fancy and prissy. But I do have certain times when in. When I'm menstruating where I. My body's just not feeling it. Like, I'm not feeling super sexy. But, you know, to have a partner be like, I don't care if you're bleeding. Like, I'll get my red wings, actually. What? My part. My current partner once, who has already learned a lot from Sean. Maybe he learned this from you.

[A]

Hell, yeah.

[C]

He went down on me when I was bleeding. This is years ago. And then he took his fingers and put it on the blood and put, like, war paint marks on his face.

[A]

That's hilarious.

[C]

And I. I was like, okay, I guess he's down.

[A]

That's.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

I thought it was hot and kind of funny.

[A]

I will say that, like, when I'm going down on someone who's on their period, like, I'm not. I'm, like, sticking to the clit for the most part. I'm not, like, eating blood.

[C]

Yeah, yeah, totally. You know, you can go down some in a way where you don't get any of the actual, like, vaginal canal juices in your mouth. You're just focusing on the upper part.

[A]

Totally.

[C]

Yeah. Totally doable.

[A]

I mean, a lot of my oral sex is. Is mainly focusing on the upper part. I mean, there's. There's, you know, there's. We're going down lower, but I'm not got, you know. Yeah. I feel like most of the gold is, like, up top.

[C]

It is. It is.

[A]

That's speaking of rois.

[C]

Yeah. There's a lot of roi when you stick to top.

[A]

Yeah. Hands can do the bottom part. Yeah.

[C]

The lower part. Less roi. Okay. What about hot or not pubic hair?

[A]

Gross.

[C]

You don't like pubic hair?

[A]

Not. Not an inch. Not a.

[C]

Really?

[A]

No, I'm kidding.

[C]

Oh. I was, like, wow. I was, like, so curious about you, Tyler. Tell me more.

[A]

I love. I love it. I love it. The. The more the better. Although, man, I hooked up with this woman a while ago who just had the craziest bush. Yeah. And it was. I gotta say, it was overly fragrant. It was too fragrant for me.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

And that's what it's supposed to do. It's supposed to hold the scent and the pheromones, but that was a lot of sense.

[A]

Too much for me. Too much for me.

[C]

Did you have to, like, pull it apart to get to the bit?

[A]

Oh, I was like. I had almost had to find my machete. I was beaten. I was beating the bushes back to, like, to see where. Yeah. It was too much. Too much. Yeah. But for the most part, I like. I like a good bush. You know? Like, whatever you have. Works for me. Except for. That was too much.

[C]

Yeah. Yeah. Do, like, a little texture. But, like, so if someone's completely wax. You're down, too. You're like, sure.

[A]

Yeah. Although. Yeah, whatever. Stubble. Okay, fine. Hairy lips, cool big bush where like, it makes your. Your. Your underwear puffy. Also good. We like this lasered with a tiny triangle. Fine landing strip. Whatever.

[C]

Sean's just down. John just loves.

[A]

Yeah. I mean, it all looks good, you know, it's like also like, great. I'm happy to be there.

[C]

Yeah. Yeah.

[A]

Oh, you're inviting me? Okay, cool.

[C]

What an honor. Yeah.

[A]

Oh, wow. Your. Your room's a little messy. No, don't care.

[C]

Yeah, but there's your. But your, though.

[A]

Yeah, no, I meant the room being messy.

[C]

Oh, I see.

[A]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[B]

Got it.

[C]

Yeah, yeah. So I'm actually. I have been that person with like so much.

[A]

What you working with. Show us what you got, everyone.

[C]

It's my vulva puppet, actually. Right now it is a smidge trim. So. I love pubic hair. I like pubic hair on men. I like pubic hair on myself. I like it. But I do think that there is such thing as too muchness. Like, I've had so much pubic hair on my body before where I just like, was in a like two month it. And I am a hairy person. Like, I have very. A lot of hair hair. And I could tell, like, even me checking out my own genitals, I'm like, I could barely find my clit. This is too much. Like, I gotta get rid of some of this. But when I haven't had hair, I feel like I don't have textures to grind on or like when the people I'm hooking up with, they don't have hair. I'm really utilizing the hair as. As like on my. When I'm rubbing and stuff. It's actually really helpful for me. So. Yeah, but if you don't have hair, I'll still love you. I'm just not really a big stubble person because it hurts my. My bits.

[A]

I mean, I agree with. I, I agree. That's the problem with stubble is that like, with a lot of grinding, it can be really painful.

[C]

Yeah, yeah. But otherwise you rock that bush. Just maybe trim a smidge. Whatever.

[A]

I mean, I. When I'm. Yeah. When I'm solo, you know, it's. It can be wild down there, Wild west. But there's also something really hot. I think about like a hairy dude, like a hairy bush. I don't know.

[C]

I Like when I. I'm way more attracted to looking at. I mean, penises to me are just funny in general whether I think you're hot or not. Like, penises are just kind of Hilarious. Penis and balls.

[A]

But.

[C]

But like a. Without any hair or even a wax job where there's even the balls are wax. I. To me, I'm just like, it's kind of looks like a little boy and it's not really my major turn on. If I really am into you, I'd still have sex with you, but I don't find it necessary. But if it does something for you, that's cool.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Agreed.

[C]

All right. What's the last one? 69ing oral 69ing.

[A]

You know, I'd rather just focus on you and then you focus on me. But there's times when it can be really fun. Fun.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

But it's not usually like a long term activity for me.

[C]

Like a short. Yeah. Shorter kind of. Is it? Because it is. If you're. If you're going down someone, they're going down you. You're kind of getting like 50 of the. The pleasure and joy here and there. It's not like a complete session. Able to.

[A]

I guess if I'm giving, I'm just way more focused on the giving and it's, it's like fun that you're touching my. Or you're doing something with it. But it's like, you know. Yeah, I'm focused. I will say though that it's easier for closer to the same height.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Otherwise if I as a taller person, like I have to really scrunch down to. To eat out someone who's smaller than me. If we're doing 69. Yeah. I will say though, if the woman is on her back and I'm just like basically have my jammed down her throat. That's hot as.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

And then I can eat you out at the same time. So that works for me a lot.

[C]

So I was gonna say for me, I'm like 6:69. Like, like, you know, I'm like laying on side by side, which is a very comfortable, easy position. I'm kind of similar. Like it's just like a shorter experience and because I do feel like when I'm sucking the. I'm not giving my full energy because I'm also experiencing receiving pleasure in my. And trying to focus on that and vice versa. But with what you just said, I'm really into face now. Consensual face. So when I'm laying on my back and my partner is. Has their. In my mouth and they're kind of thrusting into me and they're going down to me. It's awesome.

[A]

Yeah. Best angle too for the dick.

[C]

So good.

[A]

Going right down Your throat. Right down your throat.

[C]

Yeah, it's perfect. And. And it. That's a little more like. I mean, not everyone is into face, but you don't have to do face. It could be really slow, gentle thrusting, too. It doesn't have to be super intense.

[A]

Or it could also be very invasive. Yeah. Like, because you can go all the way down and then you have ball sack on your nose.

[C]

Yeah. I love it, though. Yeah, but I'm a nasty, nasty, dirty.

[A]

Yeah, you're a dirty little.

[C]

Yeah, I'm a dirty little bitch. Loud and proud.

[A]

Yeah, that. Oh, man, I'm daydreaming.

[C]

I know. What day is it? Friday. You're welcome to Friday.

[A]

Yeah, we got a date tomorrow. We'll see what happens.

[C]

Perfect. You're all, like, revved up, ready to go.

[A]

Feel. Let's go, baby.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

Great. So I know you have to wrap this up. This is going on both podcasts. Let's see. Well, I'm curious, what. Because you've had some transitions there in Love Drive World. So what is coming up for the Love Drive, at least for Shameless Sexes, is going online the end of July 2026. So what's happening in the Love Drive World?

[A]

So what's. What's happening is that the. The Love Drive has relaunched as a podcast. So if you're. If you like this conversation, then please come listen to the Love Drive podcast wherever you listen to podcasts or watch them on Spotify and YouTube. I coach people individually, so if you're struggling with setting boundaries, getting your needs met, intimacy stuff, how to talk about sex, love, relationships, hard time dating, I would happily explore if working together is a good fit. I write on substack and I do reels and, and funny Q and A on Instagram. All of it is at the Love Drive. You can email [e-mail] or you can even send a question in for the [e-mail] that's. What's. That's. What's. That's what's up.

[C]

Yeah, the Love Drive is awesome. I love your social media presence and the way when you're like, you're so real when you're answering the sex questions there. It's, it's. I like, it's. It's playful, but it's also like you're. You're no bullshit, which is great. I love that because, yeah, as we heard, Sean is not a fluffy fluff person. And so it's easier to learn that way when it doesn't have A bunch of stupid bells and whistles that don't need to be there.

[A]

You're so sweet. Thank you.

[C]

Yes, yes.

[A]

What about you?

[C]

Let's see. Shameless sex. We have been going strong for over nine years because we're. Our model is very focused on more the audio podcast part. So Sean is huge in social media worlds and we're a little smaller there but we have been, you know, doing the audio game for a long time. So go find Shameless sex anywhere you listen to podcasts. We release episodes every single week. It's podcast, it's free and we are also on the social medias though. Just look, go look up Shameless sex podcast. You can find us. We mostly put our focus on Instagram and also YouTube and we have retreats that we do as well for couples. We are have two back to back retreats in October 2026. One has been sold out for months, the other one is almost sold out. So it may be sold out, it might not. But if you want to learn more, go to shamelessex.com it's not a sex party, it's not an orgy. It's an actual three night vacation meets educational experience where we have workshops, activities, events off and on basically all day. And it's much more about learning, connecting with your partner. We've saved two marriages. We've had two different couples at different retreats come there on the verge of divorce and left like oh, we remembered why we got married in the first place. Is wild. And when I say we, it's not just because April and Irish special we have a, you know, guest educators and you know, the participants are a big part of it. So anyways, you can find out everything. Shameless sex.com that's the easiest.

[A]

Is this like the cruise that you went on that was definitely not a sex cruise but turned out to totally be a sex cruise.

[C]

Yeah, the cruise I went on with killing kittens and we're like it's hedonism meets glamour. It's not a sexual sex cruise. And it certainly was much more about sex and it had more like swinger vibes which is great, right? Like it's, you know, that is, that is a thing. And it was. But and that was just for the promotion. Ours definitely is not a sex party.

[A]

Okay. Okay, got it.

[C]

People want to go to like we have a workshop on E M on non monogamy. If people want to go into like you know, each other's rooms and play with each other, they're totally. That's. We support this we're just not hosting that.

[A]

Yes, that is it.

[C]

I know. So the Love Drive and Shameless Sex. Shameless.

[A]

Love it. So fun. Really great to see you, Amy.

[C]

I know. I'm glad it only took about eight years for you to come back on the show, but we gotcha and hopefully we'll do it again.

[A]

And I'm glad that we were able to figure out the. The microphone.

[C]

I know now. Yeah. Dude, look at me. I've been podcasting for nine years. I just learned something new from Sean.

[A]

Thank you for being here.

[C]

Thank you. To learn more, go to shamelesssex.com and

[B]

for 15 off some of our favorite sex toys, use code shameless [e-mail].