← Shannon Cason's Homemade
Shannon Cason's Homemade
A Facebook Request From the Past | Everyday is a Story
00:12:22
An unexpected friend request opened up an old memory box.
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My old pastor sent me a Facebook friend request. I haven't accepted it. Every day is a story. I'm Shannon Kayson. Make sure you like and subscribe. Go do that now. I have a decent amount of Facebook requests, to be fair. You know, I haven't accepted about 20 people because I like to go through them, make sure they aren't bots and people I don't want to connect with anymore. And I do it when I get around to it. But this one is different. I saw the face and I knew it. Someone that is in a memory box of sorts. I've put my entire young church experience and a memory box in my mind. Like the church, the people, the experiences I had, because I don't really have any personal connection with anybody or anyone. Part of growing up, I was in a church like this is in college. And I went to a church, I was probably a sophomore, and I got really involved. They call it getting on fire for God. And I allowed that experience to rearrange my whole life. I quit my girlfriend at the time. I don't know if Tamika listens to my podcast or anything like that. Hey, Tamika. You know, we split up because of that, and that really, that might have had some effects on both of us. I threw away all my hip hop albums and equipment, which was kind of crazy when I think about it, because I had SP 1200 turntables. I sold those. I didn't give them away, but I sold them for, like a Trek bike, like, stuff that I shouldn't sold it for. You know, it was way undervalued. And I just got fully addicted in church. And I say addicted for a reason, because I'm aware I'm compulsive in that way. I know that about myself. I'm compulsive. So it's important that I be compulsive towards the right things. Working out, doing podcasts, stuff like that. Well, I helped the church grow from a small church in a hotel to a church at a school, to a small church building in Lansing, Michigan. And I say help because I did. I was there late nights, paychecks, sacrifices, all my choice. I wasn't forced to. It was my choice. I'm very responsible in that way. I made those decisions. Then when I was 23 or so, around that age, I had sex with the church secretary. It wasn't even good sex either. Just being real. It was. But never mind that. I did it. And we were called to the front of the church to repent of our sins. Pretty dramatic. I've told, I've told this story on stages and with Snap Judgment, another popular podcast. But since that incident, since that happened, I've never spoken to that pastor ever again. I did try to connect with some of my old roommates, but these were, these weren't the guys that I would hang out with normally. These were like church friends. So they weren't able to accept or to separate our friendship from the churchy side of things. And they weren't really my type of guys any I like. They weren't my type of friends anyway, you know, saying like certain people you wouldn't hang out with outside of church, they were like those type of guys. So that didn't bother me too much, but they were bothered by my podcast story, the story that I told on the podcast, which even in the story, I don't dog out the pastor. I don't dog out the church. I just tell my story. In all my stories, I mostly point at me. I accept all my decisions, bad and good. It's ultimately on me. If you, a listener, you know, I don't bad mouth anyone. I don't. It's just not my way. That's not my way of doing things. So after that Story did go on Snap Judgment in other places, I did get some calls from other people who were connected to the church. Some were ministers who felt like they had been spiritually abused in some ways, you know, like used up, then thrown away with no care for their emotional well being or anything. Just kind of like, just thrown away. Which I feel for them, you know, who you are. If they listen to the podcast and others who felt like they had been given bad advice by the church, you know, advice in marriage and in their business and otherwise. I spoke to a few of them. One lady, she says she always had a crush on me. Now this, this lady, how she's growing up over the years, super duper fine. I mean like a dime level fine. But I, I'm a clueless guy. Like I'm one of those clueless people who I won't know unless you take a stick pin and poke me and say, hey, Shannon, look at me. Sometimes I don't notice, but we had a great talk. We talked for about two hours and she told me all the things that she had went through in her life and being involved with the church. But here it is as my old pastor sending me a Facebook friend request. Now, listen, I haven't spoken with that man since he called me to the front of the church. I haven't spoken two Words to him since. And to put that in context, I was his armor bearer, which meant I tended to the pastor. I helped him out personally. It was kind of like security in a sense. When you see celebrities with security. It was kind of in that sense, which was unpaid too, which was totally stupid of me. I was just young, dumb, just doing things, just, you know, had that fire, that on fire for God. So I drive him to events. And this is like events all over the country. This ain't just like around the block. This was driving all across the country. I would drive his family. I remember I drove his family to Orlando, all the way to Orlando by myself. Why wouldn't he drive? I mean, it was kind of dangerous having me drive the whole trip by myself. I did it, you know, I run his errands. I've cut the grass at their house for free. Nobody paid me. The thing is, I knew he was using me. And I'm usable. I can be used. I know that about myself. If I fuck with you, I willingly let you use me. To a degree. To a degree. I want to help you. I'm totally aware of it. So you can't overdo it. And especially anymore. My mom, my dad, my sister, my uncle, even my ex wife. Use me. You can use me, you know, if I'm your friend, like if you. We're friends. And I feel like you got a good heart soldier for you. I'm not going on any dummy missions for you. But I got your back, gun in hand if needed. You know what I'm saying? You can use me. So he would use me. I appreciated him. I honored him. I thought he was a clear thinker, like made complex things simple. And I've always appreciated that in people. I try to do the same thing, make complex things simple. Be authentic, be real. He was funny. I like the laugh. And he had good jokes. So he could crack good jokes. And I thought he was funny. He wasn't a strong dude. I never got that from him. It was never like a manly. I was never impressed with his manliness. I don't think he ever touched a weight. But he was just a cool guy, you know, more flashy than me. Bright suits and shoes, kind of that. That kind of pastor. Not my style at all. But everybody had their own style. I respect people for their own style. They do it their way, I do it my way. We respect each other. So after the church secretary incident, we never spoke again. If I was to put myself in his shoes as the. As the older man I am now, if Say I was a pastor and I looked at a guy who was 23 years old and I know he's doing his all. I can see it, I can feel it. Because I'm gonna be real. I could have been banging out all the girls at the church. I could have. I'm not bragging on myself. Honesty is honesty. I could have. I had friends who were. I was 23 and say I was celibate for like maybe three or four years at that point. No sex with. With anybody. I could have had sex. It was times where it was thrown in my face. Even to this day, I can go long stints of time, sexless, even if I have women. Many other women may be listening to this podcast right now because I know some of my old flames listen to the podcast and they know Shannon is one of the most non thirsty dudes ever. When it's time, it's time. I don't hold back. But I can go a long time. They'll be like, hey, what's the something going on? I can take my time. I'm a patient person. I like the day before Christmas. I'm one of them guys. I like the day before. I like the anticipation of things. But if I was him and I looked at me, especially young me, I wouldn't have gave me a pass because we are in a. In a Christian setting. We are in a setting. But I'd understand. And I wouldn't publicly, publicly humiliate the dude. I wouldn't put him in a public humiliation to prove a point. I wouldn't do that. I wouldn't do that to him. But he did. That was his choice. That was the choice he made. And here he is on Facebook in my friend request feed. Big expensive glasses, veneered teeth, standing by Rolls Royce in front of an expensive home. I'm embellishing a little bit. You know, storytellers control the memories, but I know that's a part of his. His thing. That's what he does, you know? So do I need to be connecting with that person at this point in my life, Facebook or otherwise? Do I need to open that memory box now? I won't lie to you. Sometimes I do things. This is me. I do things just for the story. I do think that this story deserves more future parts and probably a longer homemade episode. But. But that's a recent thing that's happened in the moment of meaning from all that is like not everyone from your past needs to be reconnected. But what about you? Do you connect with people from your past, or do you just leave it where it is? What's your story?