Sean Ryan (2:15)

That's. Well, people are feeling it, People are seeing it. This is what happens when you shit on the cops.

Blake Cook (2:23)

I mean, crime is up nationwide.

Sean Ryan (2:25)

It's crazy. I mean, I see these videos in, where is it San Francisco where people are just looting.

Blake Cook (2:32)

That's mind blowing.

Sean Ryan (2:34)

They're looting the department stores, Apple store. I mean, I've seen reels of them just walking in Apple stores and just.

Blake Cook (2:42)

Jewelry store smashing glass and then just leaving.

Sean Ryan (2:46)

It's crazy.

Blake Cook (2:47)

That's not. Somebody has to pay for that.

Sean Ryan (2:48)

Yeah, yeah.

Blake Cook (2:50)

I would be, I'd be infuriated if I was a owner of a store in one of those cities.

Sean Ryan (2:55)

I mean, what do you even do as a cop? Honest question. What do you do as a law enforcement officer when that's happening?

Blake Cook (3:01)

Because if you. Yeah.

Sean Ryan (3:02)

If you Try to. If you try to do anything, they're gonna send you to jail for enforcing the law.

Blake Cook (3:06)

It's. I feel so sorry for people, for law enforcement officers in those areas, because, you know, God forbid I had this conversation. Those guys, their job is to escape by any means necessary. They're very brave and they're bold. They have no respect. They're broad daylight smashing glass, grabbing thousands of dollars of merchandise and then leaving. We show up, what are we supposed to do? Ask them nicely? Yeah, no, we have to chase them. We have to go hands on with them. And if they fight us and we have to use force, now the mayor or the governor, God forbid, or the police chief, they're going to say, why didn't you let him go? Is that a hill you want to die on? Yeah, it is. Because you know what? I was hired to enforce the law, not different laws that you want me to enforce. I was hired and took an oath to do my duty and to protect the laws and to protect innocent folks who are trying to make a living. Yes. Did they physically harm anybody? No. But that store owner has to come out of pocket for that. You know, that hurts that family. That hurts the employees. Families. They're not going to get paid. Maybe they get laid off because of it. Maybe the store shuts down. It has a domino effect. Yes. They didn't hurt nobody physically, but somebody has to deal with that. How about the ptsd? They just caused those people inside of there. They thought that they could have died. I mean, they're getting robbed. That is our job as law enforcement officers is. Absolutely. I'm going to chase you down and you're going to jail. But unfortunately, those cops, this is their career, too. This is how they feed their family. A lot of cops are not going to go if they don't have the backing. Man, they're going to sit there and watch it happen.

Sean Ryan (5:12)

I mean, I can't blame them.

Blake Cook (5:14)

I mean, it puts food on their table.

Sean Ryan (5:16)

I mean, some of these, some. Here's another question. I mean, a lot of. There was a lot of people on the band, on the bandwagon for defunding the police.

Blake Cook (5:30)

Yeah, a ton of them.

Sean Ryan (5:32)

You know, now they're having to live in this. I mean, do you. Do you feel bad for them? You don't have to answer.

Blake Cook (5:44)

No, I don't feel bad for him. You know, it's not fair to judge all of us off of one individual's actions. Let's take ownership that. That man was also a criminal. Now, I don't believe That a knee should have been in his back. He's in handcuffs. You could have put hands on the shoulders. There's three of you there. Somebody grab his feet. Somebody grab his shoulders until we can get a wrap to put him in. There's way better ways to have handled that situation. But we all got judged based off of one police officer's action. Law enforcement officers were killed during those riots. People are still mourning their husbands and wives that were killed based off another person's actions. And because you went out and said defund the police, I think it went national that most of the big movements of the BLM spent the money that was donated to them on houses and cars. They don't care about their people.

Sean Ryan (6:45)

I know.

Blake Cook (6:45)

Now you're breaking your own city down. It's hilarious. It's like, what are you doing? And. But I guess if you put it into perspective, as police officers are like commercial airline pilots, you can't have a bad pilot because if you have a bad pilot and he crashes and kills a bunch of people, people are going to be like, well, those guys aren't trained at that airline. Yeah, you know, we're not going to fly that airline no more. We can't have bad cops. And you know how you stop that is when good cops, whether you're young or not, you step up and you stop it immediately. You be brave and you be bold and you stand for what you believe in. And that is doing the right thing. That's how you stop that. If I would have been there, I would ask him to get his knee off his back. And if he refused, I would have jerked him off of him and told him, go stand by the car. Somebody should have done that. But nobody did. Nobody was bold and brave. So now, four years later, now look at us. Crime is through the roof. Murders throughout the country. Robberies, man. I'm gonna tell you something. Everybody should own a gun. My fastest response time as a police officer was like seven minutes. And now that we live in a time where criminals are braver than law enforcement officers. It's scary, man. It is. I carry. It's why I carry everywhere I go.

Sean Ryan (8:07)

Me too. Me too. I'm very thankful, Bella from. For this town though. Franklin, Williamson County. They do not fuck around here.

Blake Cook (8:16)

Yeah, I like this place, man. Did a little history last night. Laying in the bed. Try not to think about all the episode and all that. And this is a very historical place. Oh yeah, it's awesome.

Sean Ryan (8:26)

Front lines of the Civil War right here.

Blake Cook (8:27)

Yeah. Yeah.

Sean Ryan (8:28)

There's a chick Fil a down the road. Pretty new. And when they broke ground there, they found the remains of, like, 12 soldiers from the Civil War.

Blake Cook (8:38)

I love American history. I was reading, and there was an old plantation house here that still has bloodstains.

Sean Ryan (8:43)

Oh, yeah.

Blake Cook (8:44)

On the floors from Confederate soldiers because I guess they had turned it into a hospital. Yeah, man, that's. That's so cool.

Sean Ryan (8:50)

A lot of history here, but. All right, Blake, let's do it. Let's dive in. So everybody gets an intro here.

Blake Cook (8:59)

So, Blake Cook, can we start a prayer?

Sean Ryan (9:01)

Would you like to start with the prayer?

Blake Cook (9:02)

I do. I would like to start with absolute prayer. Absolutely.

Kyle Morgan (9:03)

Let's do it.

Blake Cook (9:04)

Dear heavenly father, God, I ask you, Lord, to be with us during this interview. Lord, I ask that you speak through me to whoever needs to receive this. God, I give you thanks for bringing Shawn into my life. I give you thanks for allowing him and giving him this platform to use for the good. God, I'm so grateful for you. There's a song that says the evil that the devil tries to bring evil, but you turn it for good, and I'm beyond blessed. Thank you, Lord, for everything you do for us. Lord, we give you the honor, the praise, the glory, and the love forever. Amen.

Sean Ryan (9:51)

I would just like to add that I pray that this message that Blake is about to share with us goes exactly where it needs to go. I hope it is full of positivity for the current and future law enforcement officers that are about to serve and are serving in the United States and all across the world. Amen.

Blake Cook (10:16)

Amen.

Sean Ryan (10:19)

Thank you for that. Yeah, that felt good.

Blake Cook (10:21)

Gotta give him the glory, man. Cause I'm telling you something. I'm not. I don't feel deserving of this. But I'm here because he wants me to be here.

Sean Ryan (10:30)

Well, you do deserve it, man.

Blake Cook (10:31)

Thank you.

Sean Ryan (10:32)

I hope you start thinking about that with everything you do. I. I think. I think there are a lot of people that never achieve what they want to achieve because they don't feel that they deserve it. And just knowing the little bit that I do know about you, from reviewing the outline and digging into your background, you deserve every piece of good that's coming to you.

Blake Cook (11:01)

I appreciate that.

Sean Ryan (11:01)

So. And I'm sure that Jesus will would say the same thing.

Blake Cook (11:08)

Yeah. Jesus chose Wild Man. It's True.

Sean Ryan (11:13)

Blake Cook, four years as army infantry in the 82nd Airborne Division. You are a Purple Heart recipient for an IED explosion in Afghanistan.

Kyle Morgan (11:23)

You are a former gun gang and cartel detective and a SWAT team member.

Sean Ryan (11:30)

In Fayetteville North Carolina. You have attempted suicide more than once.

Kyle Morgan (11:36)

You're a follower of Jesus Christ and recently baptized in 2023.

Sean Ryan (11:41)

Congratulations.

Blake Cook (11:42)

Thank you.

Kyle Morgan (11:44)

You are one year sober from alcohol.

Sean Ryan (11:46)

Congratulations.

Kyle Morgan (11:48)

You received the 2018 Gang Unit of the Year Award. You are the recipient of the 2023 Investigative Achievement Award issued by the United States Attorney's Office. You are currently the LE Director of Operations and lead C Instructor at Blue Varying Solutions.

Sean Ryan (12:07)

And you've been married for 12 and a half years and the father of one son who's 16 years old.

Blake Cook (12:15)

It's me.

Sean Ryan (12:16)

Quite the.

Kyle Morgan (12:17)

Quite the intro.

Blake Cook (12:18)

How did you meet Kyle, man? Let's save that.

Sean Ryan (12:25)

You want to save that?

Blake Cook (12:26)

Let's save that.

Sean Ryan (12:27)

All right, we'll save that.

Blake Cook (12:28)

Because it's. It's a testimony, man, of the power of that. Of God. I want to. Let's save that.

Sean Ryan (12:40)

We'll save it. We'll save it.

Blake Cook (12:42)

Yeah.

Kyle Morgan (12:43)

So I have a Patreon.

Sean Ryan (12:45)

I know you and Kyle do, too, over at Blueberry.

Blake Cook (12:49)

So everybody go subscribe to your Patreon.

Sean Ryan (12:51)

Go check that out. But we ask. So our Patreons, they've been with us forever. They're our top supporters. Without them, I wouldn't be sitting here, and neither would you be.

Blake Cook (13:02)

Yeah.

Sean Ryan (13:03)

So one of the things I do is I give them the opportunity to ask each guest a question. So this is going to be a heavy interview, so we pick something a little lighter.

Blake Cook (13:15)

Okay.

Sean Ryan (13:16)

This is from Luke. What is the most embarrassing thing that happened to you during your law enforcement career?

Blake Cook (13:22)

Oh, dude. Oh, man. I have a good one for that one. Did a search warrant one time on a gang house. It was a non traditional gang, which means it wasn't a gang. That was, you know, it's like a neighborhood clique. Right. The guy that we were going after, he was distributing stolen guns from soldiers to all the little hoodlums. So we went and did a search warrant. Mom. I mean, just a horrible area in Fayetteville called Murkison Road. So we go there, we execute the search warrant, the gang unit, not the tac team, and we're searching through everything. And that morning, my bungee on my radio pouch had broken, and I was like, ah, you know, whatever. It'll be fine. So we're about to wrap up. I'm searching a closet, and I've been down to grab something, and I guess it had fallen off and I didn't know, had it turned off. I'm in the house and so I'm. We wrap up, we leave. Taking the evidence to the station. And I'm driving down Murkison Road, and, man, I hear, hey, Mr. Policeman, you left your walkie talkie at my house. And I'm like. I'm like, oh, man, somebody's in trouble. What an idiot. What an idiot. I'm like, oh, man, somebody's about to be in a lot of trouble. And she is just on it. And next thing I know, both of my cell phones, my personal. My work number is ringing. I answered, it's my supervisor. And he's like, hey, man. Hey, man. Hey, check. See if you got your radio. I'm like, hey, dude, I got my radio, bro. I'm like, I got. I got my radio.

Sean Ryan (15:06)

Oh, shit.

Blake Cook (15:07)

And he's like, no, no, for real. Get hands on. I'm like, all right. So I'm driving. I'm feeling it. Pull my vest up. I don't see it. My heart drops in my stomach. So I turn around, I pull over, I look, can't find it. I'm like, hey, that's my radio. And I whip that car around, and I am blue license irons to this house. Cause she's on it. She is talking shit. She is just solid. Cause, I mean, this is not like a channel just for us. This is a channel for that district.

Sean Ryan (15:40)

She's on the radio.

Blake Cook (15:41)

She's on my radio that I dropped my police radio.

Sean Ryan (15:45)

Shit, I thought you meant this is the station calling you.

Blake Cook (15:48)

No, no, no.

Sean Ryan (15:49)

Cell phone.

Blake Cook (15:49)

No, no. So she found my radio after we left the search warrant and turned it on and was now was on that district station. Like, dispatchers are trying to dispatch officers to calls they can't because she's on it.

Sean Ryan (16:03)

Could you hear it in the car?

Blake Cook (16:05)

I had an in car radio. I could hear it.

Sean Ryan (16:06)

Oh, shit.

Blake Cook (16:08)

That's why I started laughing. I was like, what an idiot. Somebody's in trouble.

Sean Ryan (16:11)

Oh, my God.

Blake Cook (16:12)

I mean, I'll whip that thing around. By the time I get back to the house, the whole hood's out there. Everybody, man. I get out the car, she's holding that radio by the antenna. She goes. She goes, here, piggy, piggy, piggy, piggy. Here, piggy, piggy, piggy, piggy.

Sean Ryan (16:35)

Shawn.

Blake Cook (16:36)

I felt this big. My tattoos didn't matter. My beard didn't matter. My long hair didn't matter. Nothing mattered. I was so humiliated. Had to walk over and was like, sorry about that. Got my radio, got back in my car. But, man, I had. I told everybody the story. Every day. I would have Miss Piggy. I would take it down the next morning. It would Go right back on my desk. It was so embarrassing because, I mean, you're talking a channel for that district. Not just a channel for our unit, but for that district. So everybody. Police chief, everybody in my chain of command, all the patrol officers who look up to us. I mean, it is what it is. I admitted to it. You know, thank God I didn't get punished because they realized that I was humiliated, because when I got out, I had to turn my body camera on to make sure they didn't allow me. So the whole interaction was on camp, the whole Miss Piggy, piggy, Piggy. I was like, everything. So they're like, man, we're not going to write you up for this one. We feel like that you're. I'm like, hey, man, thanks. Yep. I'm really humiliated, and I'm sure I'm never going to live this down. Damn. Yeah. That's it, man. That's. That's the most embarrassing thing that's ever happened to me.

Sean Ryan (17:54)

That's a good one.

Kyle Morgan (17:55)

That's a good one.

Blake Cook (17:56)

It was awful.

Sean Ryan (17:57)

Wow. Wow. Well, hey, before we. Before we dive in here, one last thing. Everybody gets a gift on the show. Any guesses?

Blake Cook (18:09)

Gummy bears, man.

Sean Ryan (18:10)

I was hoping you wouldn't mess that one up, man.

Blake Cook (18:12)

I watch the episodes. Oh, these are awesome.

Sean Ryan (18:16)

There they are. Legal in all 50 states. Still probably shouldn't be with all the sugar and shit in there, but it's all right. But, hey, they taste amazing.

Blake Cook (18:26)

I love gummy bears, man.

Sean Ryan (18:28)

Cool. Yeah.

Blake Cook (18:30)

Thank you for that.

Sean Ryan (18:31)

All right. All right. Here's where it starts getting heavy from here on out. But we'll take any humor. But yeah. So once again, Blake, we want to do a life story, so we always start at the very beginning. Where'd you grow up?

Kyle Morgan (18:48)

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Blake Cook (21:41)

I grew up in a small town in West Virginia called Palm, West Virginia. Thousand people max in my hometown, 18,000 in the county. So real small town. Everybody knew everybody. You know you start daycare with the same people that you graduate with. So you know for 13, 14 years it's the same friends, it's the same people every day. Even in the summer. We all live next to each other so it was a cool place to grow up. Windows open, doors open, ride your bikes wherever, till whenever. We didn't have crime, just rednecks. So it was a great place to grow up. I grew up in a split house. You know the only memory that I have of my mom and dad ever together. My mom was trying to leave and my dad was punching a hole in the wall screaming and yelling. It's the only memory I have of them together. And so they got a divorce when I was young, you know, three or four. And my dad built a house right next door, right beside my mom, and that was kind of cool.

Sean Ryan (22:58)

Why'd they get divorced?

Blake Cook (23:00)

My dad cheated. Yeah. So my mom had a lot of hatred towards him, but she ultimately left him because he was a cheater. He cheated on her. So were you close with both? I am growing up, yeah. I was close with both. My mom was phenomenal, man. To this day, I still wish her happy Father's Day. She did her best. She was young. She was, I think maybe 21, 20 when she had us. I remember she'd take me to college with her, to community college so she could get her degree. I remember the only memory I have of it was your mom would take.

Sean Ryan (23:36)

You to school, to community college so that she could get her degree.

Blake Cook (23:40)

She'd get her degree. And brothers and sisters. I have a brother. I have an older brother. Um, he's four years older than me. I love him more than anything. He was. He's always protected me, Always. We're complete different. He's well dressed, skinnier little fellow. He's an attorney. And here I am looking like a convicted felon. But, you know, ultimately, man, we. At the core, we're the same. We're the same person. He's. Even to this day, he still looks out for me. He's one of my biggest role models. So he's a phenomenal father. He's a great husband. He's just a great human. So I have a half sister and a half brother from my dad's. I don't consider them that they're my brother and sister. But when my dad got remarried, he started another family. But my dad building a house right next to us, it was cool as a kid because we would. For us, right? We would just go back and forth whenever, but, man, it caused a lot of drama. You could say my mom and my stepmom didn't get along. And, you know, there were. There was constant arguing in the driveways, I remember. And, you know, I would say that they were more of the instigators on it. You know, my dad liked to. Even though that they weren't together. Like, my dad still pushed my mom's buttons. I remember one time I was going to school and my stepmom or somebody had called down to the house. My mom said something to her on the phone, and my mom was taking us to school, and my stepmom comes running out of the house, bum, bum, bum down the stairs. And my mom was like, she worked out every day. She wasn't a typical woman. She was raising two boys and she worked out every day. And she was a social worker, so she was constantly dealing with drug addicts and stuff anyways, so she stayed fit. And she had these heels on, man. I remember my stepmom getting to the bottom of our steps, and my mom just snapped her up in a headlock. I'm like a kid watching this, though, as a young kid. Now I laugh about it, right? But as a kid, it was kind of scary, you know, it's kind of like, what in the hell is going on? And then my dad come down, running down the stairs, you bitch, you better let her go. You better let her go, man. He got close to my mom, my mom stuck them heels so far in his chest, just took the breath out of him. And then they just ended up splitting ways and trying to call the police or whatever. But it was always some type of. If they were both in the driveway together, it was always like, anxiety, like, let's just hurry up and get in the car. You know, like, my mom did a very good job at protecting us from it, but it was. It was always there. And, you know, as a kid, that can be very traumatizing to always have that anxiety of, let's just hurry up and get in the car. I hope mom and dad don't. Don't talk. Like, if we were going out to the car and they were going out the car, like, it was always just like, please, like, can we just not fight? And my mom was always the bigger person. We get in the car. But it was always something, man.

Sean Ryan (26:57)

Why did they not get along? Is your stepmom who your father had.

Blake Cook (27:02)

In affair with, man? That's, you know. Yeah, like my stepmom. My stepmom, some weird shit. My stepmom was 16 when my dad started dating her. My dad was, like, in his 30s, so it kind of tarnished our name a little bit. And now think about my older brother. My older brother is only a few years younger than her, so there was always that. There was always that. Him and her, they never got along. There was one time, Father's Day, we would always go up there. My mom would. Because he had. He had every other weekend, so we'd have to go stay with him. And my mom would leave, maybe go on vacation with her friends or something, maybe go out of town, and we would stay with him. And, you know, my brother and my stepmom Would always get into an argument. I mean, hell, she's only a few years older than him. Then my dad would always take her side. My dad, my whole life is always taking women over us or you know, always put women first over his children. And he, in, in Father's Day, I'll never forget this Father's Day, she had said something to him, told me she was going to whoop his ass or something. And my brother was like, dude, you're like two years, you're like three years older than me. Four years older than me. What are you talking about? So my brother picked up a 2 liter of mountain Dew and chucked it at her. And he came over and got me and was like, hey, we're going to stay at the house. And they end up calling the police on him. And there was a cop at the time named Jim hall who came up there and put my 13 year old brother in handcuffs, put him in the back of a cop car over that. You called the police on your own son because of something that he did that you caused by marrying somebody that was only two years, three years older than him. And so it was constant. Like my mom would leave, we would go up to my dad's for a few hours and then me and my brother would go down to the house. Cause it was just, it was always something. It was always something. And my brother would cook for us, he'd take care of us. And then when, you know, my mom, we would call my mom the day that she was coming back home and we'd be like, hey mom, we just came down to the house, we know you're coming home. That day. You know, she had no idea that we were doing that. But it was, he was, my brother was protecting me from, from the toxic environment. He's. He's always protected me.

Sean Ryan (29:36)

Damn.

Blake Cook (29:37)

And you know, and I'm not saying that the whole childhood when my dad was bad, because that would be a lie. You know, there were great times. You know, we would have Nerf gun wars and things like that. But you know, and he was a good dad growing up. He would play basketball, he teach me how to play basketball and things like that. But you know, there was always something, right? There was always something that would, that would happen, that would ruin it always. And it's just. And my mom did a great job at protecting us from that too. She tried to limit our time as much as possible, but you know, I'm not gonna sit here and beat my dad down, but. Cause there were good times. He ran our Community pool, and he would take us down for night swims. And, I mean, there were great, great things. But as we always felt like that we were just second because he had started a new family, and we were just secondary. And that was a lot of my childhood until I became a young teenager. You know, he. I was. I've been playing sports since I was young, like, super young. And basketball was always my thing. And, you know, we won every. You know, as a kid, it was cool, but we won every county championship until I was in the eighth grade. And the only games that my dad would really attend were the ones that were impatible, you know? And then when I got into the eighth grade, there was a. We won our county championship basketball game. And there was a guy in the stands that had known me forever. He said, hey, won't you come try out for football? The way you move and how physical you are, you might be a great football player. I was like, man, I never played football. I don't want to get hit like that. I don't know if I'm tough like that. So my mom signed me up, and I started playing football. And my first time ever on the field, man, one of my really good buddies, Nick Rizonico, came over, hit me so hard, put me off my feet, and took my. Took my breath out. He said, hey, man, welcome to high school football. I was like, dude, I gotta get in the weight room. I gotta get good. I suck. I suck at this. I'm out of my comfort zone. And then, man, I quit baseball. They only had me at baseball. They only kept me around. I sucked at baseball. My older brother's name's J.R. his best friend, Derrick Bolt, literally, they thought it would be funny. Derek was, like, 6 2, and, like, 11, 12 years old. Threw a fastball, hit me right in the net. I wouldn't stay in a batter's box ever again. I didn't want to hit. I don't want you to hit me in the neck again. I don't want nothing to do with it. They kicked me around because I was fast and they could sub me in to run bases. And so finally, my freshman year, I was like, hey, chief, I'm not playing baseball no more. He's like, why? I was like, look, me and you both know I suck. I'm gonna work out for football. And I dedicated, like, a lot of time in high school for football. Working out in football, I was already pretty decent in basketball. And then, man, my junior year, I started getting really good at football. Really good. And Then when I started getting good and my name started getting in the paper, then my dad started showing up to all my games. Then he wanted to come around, and then he really wanted to come around. My junior and senior year, we won back to back state championships in basketball, and then he really wanted to be around. Once we won the first one, he came the second year, he came to all the games, came to all the football games. You know, he wanted to be there now. Right. That's how all.

Sean Ryan (33:11)

Did you feel resentment because of that?

Blake Cook (33:13)

I did. Because, like, it was kind of like.

Sean Ryan (33:15)

At the time or looking back.

Blake Cook (33:17)

No, at the time, I kind of did enough. And I told my mom this as a kid because, like, the only times I ever saw you when I played basketball in middle school, in the eighth grade. And in eighth grade I'm what, 13, right. I'm starting to see things and understand things a little more. Like, why are you only at home games? Is it because you don't want to pay the $2 entrance at the other. At the other games and you get in free? Because he was a schoolteacher at the school and he was a schoolteacher at.

Sean Ryan (33:45)

Palm Middle School that married a 16 year old girl.

Blake Cook (33:49)

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Weird. Very weird. I didn't know any of this at the time, right? But my mom, again, she hid it from us because it was embarrassing, right? We live in a small town. Everybody, everybody knows, knows that it was. It's still to this day, it's embarrassing now that I'm an adult and I know that that's wrong, that's not right. Like, you know, there's even some hatred that I have, resentment that I have towards him for giving us that bad name because we share the same last name, you know, Like, I didn't want people, fathers of my friends to think, man, I'm gonna grow up sick like that. Cause that's wrong. That's sick. It's weird. It is what it is. It's weird. We come from a small town where everybody knows everybody. So, you know, when I started understanding these things. And then he started coming around in high school when my name started getting out there in the papers and colleges started coming and looking, then it's like, hey, man, like, where were you at, like my earlier years? Now you want to travel two hours down the road to a football game and wear a shirt with my name on it? Like, hey, bro. My mom has been to every game. And my grandfather on my mom's side and my grandmother have been to every game since I ever played. My mom Showed up to an AAU game one time. Her friends had a birthday thing that they had planned out for. I guess we didn't think we were gonna be there all day playing. Cause we kept winning and winning and winning. She canceled her plans so I could finish that game out. Like she's been there since day one. Like, where have you been? Oh, now, now people are starting to know who I am here. Now people are like, wow, Blake's really good at this. Because, man, I exploded with football. Like I found a passion for it. I was a slot, I was a wide receiver and I was a cornerback. My junior year I had like 13, 14 interceptions. My senior year, I broke the record for yak yards. Yards after catch, I had like, I don't know, a 7, 1800, like 13, 14 touchdowns. There's one game where I had four touchdowns. And that was unheard of at that time. Cause you're talking 2008 where people were still trying to run the ball. Everybody then now wanted to run the spread. Because then Pat White and Steve Slate in West Virginia started throwing the ball more. And now we had some really, we had some new coaches come in that were like, hey, let's throw the ball. And their, their nephew was the quarterback. He had moved, so they were obviously going to let him throw the football. But man, it was like everywhere I went, like high school was crazy because like, I'm be honest with you, Sean. I didn't do a single bit of homework. I don't know if I even did classwork. I just got pushed through as an adult. I'm like, man, that's. I wish you would have pushed me to do better.

Sean Ryan (36:57)

Let's rewind for a minute.

Blake Cook (36:59)

Yeah.

Sean Ryan (36:59)

So did you actually tell your dad that or.

Blake Cook (37:03)

I never told my dad that.

Sean Ryan (37:04)

You never told him that. That was in your head?

Blake Cook (37:07)

It was always in my head.

Sean Ryan (37:08)

It was all those questions.

Blake Cook (37:09)

Yeah, Just, you know. Cause it's my dad, man, I loved him. I didn't want him to feel like I was mad or disappointed. I loved him. He was my dad. And like I said, my childhood all the time wasn't all the time bad. You know, he did do things. That was a great father. But there were things that, like, you know, I have a 16 year old son, right. I've raised him since he was three. His dad's non existent. I married my wife, she had a son. And I've raised him since he was three as my own. He is my son. You'll never be able to convince me that he's not. I'LL never look at him and say, hey, man, remember that time I changed your tire? Hey, man, remember that time I did this for you and did that for you and did this and that? That was what it was like. It was always, hey, man, remember that time you ran out of gas on Salisville Mountain? Or ran out of gas on Salisville Mountain? I brought you gas. Yeah, that was that. Yeah. Dad, thanks. Thanks for being a dad.

Sean Ryan (38:08)

Your dad was keeping tabs.

Blake Cook (38:09)

Yeah. To this day. And we'll get to that. To this day, he still keeps tabs. And it's like, man, you're my father. What are you talking about? You're supposed to do those things. I would give my life from my son. I never keep a tab on it. I'd be dead. But I never keep a tab on that. I hope that he would never be like, oh, wow. You know, like, that's what I'm supposed to do. And that's what I'm raising him as is. Hey, man, when you have a son or a daughter, you do things for them out of love. You'd never expect a thank you ever. And so a lot of my childhood was he would do something great for us, but we would be reminded, like, okay, my mom never did that.

Sean Ryan (38:56)

Do you think. Why do you think he did that?

Blake Cook (39:02)

I think he. I think he just wanted us. You know what I really think, and this is something I've dived into in my adult life, is I felt like he was always trying to compete with my mother. Cause she always did right by us. But what he doesn't know is we never. We weren't thanking her either.

Sean Ryan (39:28)

Do you think maybe he was dealing with his own guilt?

Blake Cook (39:32)

I do.

Sean Ryan (39:34)

He felt extremely.

Blake Cook (39:35)

I've had a conversation later on in my adult life, and he says he regrets cheating on my mom. And, you know, I do. I feel like that he has his own demons that he deals with. And I think that it is his guilt. Yeah, you did the right things. But ultimately, I think at that age, he just wanted us to tell him how great he was. Maybe he didn't feel like he was great.

Sean Ryan (40:01)

Well, I'm sure he. I mean, all the clues are there. I mean, he built a house.

Blake Cook (40:09)

He wanted to be in our life. He built a nice house. He did his best. He. You know, he worked as a manager at a swimming pool in the summertime. And he took us on vacation every summer to Myrtle beach with that money every summer. So he tried. It's just. He always wanted the thank you that we never gave Him. I mean, I'm a kid, you know, Like, I have one parent who gives me the world with not ever thinking about it. And I have another parent who is trying. And we're not giving the thank you to.

Sean Ryan (40:48)

I'm keeping tabs.

Blake Cook (40:49)

He's keeping tabs. One's not, one is. You know, what am I supposed to do? I don't know. My mom doesn't keep tabs, but he is obviously keeping tabs. We're beyond grateful, right? I had a decent childhood. I'm not going to say I didn't. But it was always like, he's always trying to compete with my mom and. Cause my mom took us on vacations every year and, you know, to like Mexico and Cancun and Disney World. And it was always like he was trying to compete and my mom never like, shoved it in his face, but he would always shove it back. Like, oh, I pay child support. You know, I take the kids on a vacation every summer. Like, it was always something like that, you know, it was always. It was always, you know, now that I'm older, I'm like, man, maybe I should have said thank you more. I don't know. I was a kid, I didn't know any better. I just thought, dads do.

Sean Ryan (41:47)

Shit. What's your relationship like with him now?

Blake Cook (41:59)

He's dying of drugs. I've spent my whole adult life fighting drugs and I'm losing my dad to it. It's a non existent relationship. I broke it off.

Sean Ryan (42:13)

What kind of drugs?

Blake Cook (42:15)

Heroin, meth, fentanyl, cocaine, dilaudids, Anything that's a drug that will get you high.

Sean Ryan (42:23)

How did that happen?

Blake Cook (42:26)

When I was 14, he fell off a ladder, 20, 30 foot ladder, changing a light bulb like a flood light. And went to a doctor in a town in our county called Oceana. It's nicknamed Oxiana. It had a doctor who was prescribing OxyContin like crazy. I guess he's in federal prison now. But he got addicted to oxycodones. He got addicted to fentanyl patches for his back, and then it went to oxycodones, so. And I think my dad's always fought depression too. A lot of times, his kids, he would. He'd sleep all day while we were with him. We figured maybe he's just tired, right? He was a volunteer firefighter. He'd get called out in the middle of the night, all that and. But now that I'm older, I know what depression is. He definitely had depression. I think he battled his own demons every Day. And ultimately they got the best of him.

Sean Ryan (43:31)

You know, you talk a lot about breakfast this morning. Had a great prayer. You could tell you're a Christian with very strong faith. Have you ever tried forgiveness?

Blake Cook (43:51)

I have so attempted to save his life. Medical. When I got out of law enforcement, so I found out that he was on drugs. Right. So Thanksgiving 2018, we're back home, we're in West Virginia. Met my mom's house. Now my mom lives in a whole nother city, whole nother county now at this point. Right. She moved to bigger town of Beckley, West Virginia. It's got like 30,000 people in it. So right outside of Charleston, West Virginia, about 30 minutes away. She don't even live near him anymore. So she got remarried and all that in my adult life. But we went to visit him, me and my brother. My brother has a lot of resentment towards him. He's not. He's not alive in my brother's mind. My brother completely shut him off. My brother had warned me several times, my older brother, several times to be careful. And my brother was mad that he was on drugs.

Sean Ryan (45:04)

Be careful in what way?

Blake Cook (45:06)

Like, he's toxic.

Sean Ryan (45:09)

Manipulation.

Blake Cook (45:10)

Manipulation. He's going to put women in front of you. Like, be careful with him.

Sean Ryan (45:17)

What do you mean he's going to put women in front.

Blake Cook (45:18)

Like, if I have an argument with my stepmom, remember he had an argument with my stepmom at 12 years old, 13, and was put in handcuffs. My dad called the police on him and had a police officer put him in handcuffs. So I think my brother's always had resentment for that. It's terrifying at 13 years old. Hell's terrifying at 9. Watching your brother get arrested by your dad, that was traumatizing. And then finally my mom, like rushed home and fixed the issue, but so my brother's always had some sort of resentment towards him. So my brother was like. We found. We had heard that my dad got on drugs, like hard drugs in 2018 because he was. Well, he was on drugs, met this chick, got on drugs, got away from this chick and got sober. 2016, 2017. My younger sister was in high school, so. And her mother, my stepmom that we had the issues with had cheated on my dad and left my dad. So my dad was trying to raise this high school girl on his own. He did a good job. But after she graduated, he met this other lady named Melissa. And Melissa comes from Trash. She was an addict and she got him hooked, back on drugs. So my brother wanted to drive down to confront him. About all this, see if he actually is on drugs. This is on Black Friday, day after Thanksgiving. So me and my brother, we drive down, knock on the door. Melissa answers. She's high as a kite. Like, hey. My brother says, hey, is Jim here? That's my dad's name. She's like, yeah, let me go get him. He's downstairs sleeping. Like it's 7:00, like in the afternoon, like, what do you mean he's sleeping? Whatever, he's old. Maybe he went to bed. He comes up the stairs and it's the first time in my life I've ever seen my dad. So my dad never didn't drink when we grow up. And I hardly ever heard him cuss. I will say that. Um, but for the first time in my life, I saw my dad physically. But I didn't know who my dad was. He was so high. And he invited us in. And my brother's like, hey, you're high right now. What are you talking about? And they get into a heated discussion and my dad gets livid. Somebody that is on drugs, whether I think at the time it was just. I think cocaine and oxycodones is all he was on at that time because he was on four DUIs for driving while impaired from not alcohol, but narcotics. So he'd already been arrested for like three or four DUIs for this. So we were. My brother was attempting to try to help him, but it went, went south. My dad filled with rage and he took off running back downstairs and I knew that's where he kept his revolver. I immediately grabbed my brother and we ran out the house, ran down the stairs. It's like 15 stairs. I run in my truck, open my door, I go to get my gun out. I'm like, he's gonna kill us. He is going to kill us. And man, he comes running out and I never saw the gun. I don't think I saw the gun. Everything was happening so fast, but the rage that he had. Sean. I went out that driveway at probably 50, 60 miles an hour. I thought he was gonna kill us. I thought he was gonna kill us. And then the whole 30, 40 minute drive home, me and my brother didn't talk. We got back to my mom's house and everybody was already in bed at this point. And, man, I drank all night. I cried my eyes out. I went on his Facebook page, found photos of when we were younger. I just lost it. I had a mental breakdown. That's the first time I ever saw him high. And that was the biggest Start of that was the start of my downfall. That was it. That's what set the tone for the next several years of my life and what I was about to go through. So no, I have forgiven him once. And I almost died from somebody else's drug addiction. I almost lost my family because somebody else's drug addiction. And I refuse to lose my family or take my life from depression or die from somebody else's drug addiction. I won't let it happen. I won't let it happen. Thou got me once, thou got me twice. But never again. No, no, no, no. Your toxicity that you bring to the table. My childhood that you brought to the table. I'm not going to let it flow into my family. I'm going to protect my family.

Sean Ryan (50:26)

Yeah.

Blake Cook (50:27)

And my wife is so sweet, Sean. She. She tries and you know, she's. Because she saw my dad before he was on drugs. We got married in beginning of 2012 and we only knew each other for like 30 days. We married almost 13 years. And we'll get to that. That's a whole. That's a whole nother story. But you know, she has always tried to. Because she remembers him. Right. She remembers who Jim Cook was before drugs. I mean and. But now it's like I don't even remember who that person was. I don't remember. I don't remember who he was because his addiction has been so bad on me that it's hard for me to even see the good anymore.

Sean Ryan (51:21)

Maybe there isn't any, Sean.

Blake Cook (51:23)

I don't think so.

Sean Ryan (51:26)

You know, the only reason I was asking about forgiveness is I've come to learn that it's for you, not for the person you're forgiving.

Blake Cook (51:43)

Yeah.

Sean Ryan (51:44)

You know, I learned this from. I interviewed this guy, Victor Marks.

Blake Cook (51:51)

Yeah.

Sean Ryan (51:52)

And it is without a doubt the most traumatizing childhood I have ever heard. I mean it is. His dad made him shoot, kill a man and shove him in a hole.

Blake Cook (52:09)

That's horrible.

Sean Ryan (52:10)

Yeah. And. And that's how I grew up. And so he talks a lot about forgiveness. He's forgiven his dad. And he called me up once. He called me. I had back in my tactical training days there was this well known trainer. I won't say any names cause I've forgiven him. But he sued me and tried to take. Tried to take everything when I had not much to begin with. But I was worried my home was going to go. I was worried my wife was going to go. And he just wouldn't stop with the lawsuits. And until we were able to prove that the whole case was a phony case, and he was going to have to repay me all of my legal fees, which completely broke me, man. And so when he found that out, he quit suing me. And whatever this is. I'm just kind of giving you the context. I didn't have the money to go back after him and continue the lawsuit. But. And so that just. Honestly, that's why I left the tactical industry. I was like, you know what? Fuck this, man. I'm out.

Blake Cook (53:47)

Who blames you? It's hard to trust people after that.

Sean Ryan (53:50)

But I carried this rage with me forever. And this is just, like, one example. But I'm telling you this because Victor Marx is who taught me forgiveness. And then I applied it to all these different aspects of my life and all these situations that I've been in with, you know, from military shit to agency shit to business stuff to friends, family. But this was the first. This was the first time that it actually sunk in. And the reason I'm bringing it up is I can see the rage. I can see it on you. And I'm not. I'm not comparing stories. This is so much more insignificant than what you're talking about. But he said. He said he's friends with the person that sued me and said that they wanted me to forgive him. And I said, are you fucking calling me to ask me to forgive somebody because they're worried that my growth is. It's a different ballgame than it was 10 years ago.

Blake Cook (55:04)

Yeah. Yeah.

Sean Ryan (55:05)

You know?

Blake Cook (55:06)

Yeah. Now Way different. Playing fist.

Sean Ryan (55:08)

They ran a whole smear campaign on me and everything. And I was like, are you asking me to fucking forgive somebody who tried to take everything from me, smeared my name, lied about my service? Like, wanted to take it all.

Blake Cook (55:23)

Yeah.

Sean Ryan (55:23)

And leave me in a fucking ditch because he's worried that I'm gonna. I'm gonna do vengeance? And he said, yeah. And I was like, it's real hard to tell you no, knowing what you've been through.

Blake Cook (55:45)

Yeah.

Sean Ryan (55:46)

And that you found forgiveness. And I told him I would. I told him I never wanted to see him again. He wanted to talk to me. I said, we don't need to talk. I said, you can tell him I forgive him, and you can tell him that I'm not going to do vengeance on him. I'm above that shit. And, man, just, like, fucking saying it.

Blake Cook (56:09)

To Victor probably felt good, dude.

Sean Ryan (56:12)

It was like. Because every time that name got brought up, every time that name got brought up, it would just fucking trigger rage.

Blake Cook (56:22)

Yeah.

Sean Ryan (56:23)

And then. And in Multiple people you could, you could insert into that, oh, I hear this person's name, I feel rage. But that was the first time I learned it. And it was like, it was like being let out of prison, man. Like, it just, it was like, this shit doesn't bother me anymore. I dropped it. I'm never going to talk to him again. I'm never going to be around him again, at least if I can help it. But it doesn't affect me anymore, man. I don't live in that prison of rage.

Blake Cook (56:54)

Yeah.

Sean Ryan (56:55)

And I just hope that you can find that.

Blake Cook (56:59)

And I am finding it. Right. Because if I'm going to say that I'm a Christian, I need to act like a Christian. And. And it's hard, but parts of me is trying and, you know, we'll get to the parts of, of why that I am the way that I am right now in this moment. And you're going to be like, wow, I kind of understand because I tried so hard and.

Sean Ryan (57:46)

Blake, I'm not saying I don't understand.

Blake Cook (57:49)

Oh, I know you understand because you have your own trauma with it.

Sean Ryan (57:51)

I just want you to. I think you're a really good person.

Blake Cook (57:57)

I appreciate that.

Sean Ryan (57:57)

And I just want you to be free. And that's the only reason I'm bringing it up.

Blake Cook (58:01)

And that's what I need to work on. Because again, I want to be free of somebody else's addiction. Because if I don't forgive him, then I'm just as. I'm addicted to hate towards him like he's addicted to drugs. And until I can forgive him, I can let that go, you know? And you're right, man, I thought I forgave him, but I don't feel it now that I'm talking about it. I don't feel that I truly, I might have told people, yeah, I forgive him. But now that, now that I'm here in this moment and we're talking about it, because I don't really talk about it often, I'll be honest with you, I don't talk about it at all. I don't talk about it with my wife. My wife brings it up, I immediately go to shutdown mode. I would rather be angry and start an argument and piss her off than to have her try to talk about it, you know?

Sean Ryan (58:56)

And the other thing is, if you can take emotion out of this situation and actually look at it from a 30,000 foot view and just observe, look at what he's created for himself.

Blake Cook (59:16)

Yeah. You know, I think a part of me is. I Just love him. And I hate that my niece doesn't get to experience a grandfather. I hate that my son doesn't get to experience that. And to be honest with you, man, I really just miss having a dad. It's truly what it goes down to. I said just missing. And I spent my whole adult career fighting evil and fighting drugs, only to lose him to drugs. You know, that's hard. I have voicemails of is when he was trying to do better. Hey son, I just want to hear from you. I'm trying. And I just sent him a voicemail, you know, and so I have a lot of guilt for that dude. Like I just, maybe I could have done better. Maybe I failed him. Maybe he did addiction because I failed him. You know, maybe he's addicted because I wasn't there for him or I didn't say thank you or I didn't give him what he was looking for. You know, that's. That's a tough pill to swallow. And it eats me every day because I do, man, I'm missing. Used to call me a shadow, boy. There's no shadow anymore. And man, that hurts. It hurts. 35 years old, man, and the little boy inside of me still, still misses, you know, misses his dad. When everybody else gave up, I still tried, man. I got burned. I got burned. Almost lost everything. So I'm trying, I really am. Maybe I need to go to therapy, you know.

Sean Ryan (61:17)

Don't give up, man.

Blake Cook (61:18)

I'm not, I'm not. I just need to take a break and figure realize that I can't fix everything right now. You know, when I was in the gang unit, we were an easy button. Hey man, go fix this. Gang unit, fix this. I'm used to being an easy button, fixing it right now and. But those right nows were only temporary fixes. Somebody else is going to come in and take that guy's spot or somebody else is going to sell dope and guns out the house. Maybe that's what I'm trying to do. I'm trying to fix it right now, right? And I'm getting no results because you don't, you can't fix a. Can't fix a 67 year old man, a 65 year old man that's been addicted to drugs for the last eight years.

Sean Ryan (62:06)

You can't fix anything on anybody if they don't want to fix it themselves.

Blake Cook (62:10)

That's the problem is he doesn't want it. He just doesn't want it. And I lied. I think a part, I think a part of him And I got to experience that, right? So 2004, I met Kyle. I was teaching on my own. I had my own company, Black Flag Solutions. One of the trained SWAT teams. Guys just didn't get the training that we had. I love law enforcement, man. I love law enforcement so much. And I think the number one thing they lack is training. I was training people for free. Departments won't spend the money. My God, they'll go spend $20,000 to get new pencils that say, you know, Fayetteville Police Department and not Fayetteville did this. It's just where I came from. But they won't put money towards training. It's mind blowing. So I was like, I have to do something.

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Blake Cook (65:45)

Me to go do something because I was an alcoholic. So I was training a team one day, and my aunt Judy calls me, my dad's sister, and he says, hey, Blake, do I have a second? And I'm like, damn, she about to tell me my dad's dead. I've been waiting on that phone call every day. I have my phone in my hand all the time because I'm waiting on the call. I'm like, is he alive? She said, yeah, he's alive. I said, well, okay, what's going on? Why are you calling me? I'm in the middle of training. She said, he's dying. He's laying in the bed at his house with Melissa's stepmom. She's a really bad drug addict, too, and she was so concerned that he's dying that she called the police for help. Man, where I grew up, those boys don't know how to be cops. And we'll get into that. They failed me. So I said, hey. I said, what do you mean? They said, well, he walked in, they saw needles and everything everywhere. I'm saying they try to do a. What do they call it, Like a self check, Like a hygiene check or whatever on a person. Well, being check. I said, he's on probation for hitting four cop cars on the side of the road. High. He's on, like a probation. Not in jail, but on probation. I'm like, is there needles in the house? Yeah, yeah. They said they saw needles. Okay. They need to take him to jail, get him out the environment or the. It was the police chief. There's only like three people in that apartment. Well, they say there's nothing they can do. I'm like, what are you talking about? He's a drug addict. Syringes everywhere. He's on probation. That's drug paraphernalia. I don't care what it is. I don't care if it's one orange cap. Take him to jail. Because if he goes to jail, they won't take him they'll make him go to the hospital before they can intake him. So they'll force him to get medical. They're like, oh, Blake. They said there's nothing they can do. I'm livid. Like, what do you mean there's nothing they can do? That's your job. You just don't know what to do is the problem. You don't know how to be a cop is the problem. So I'm like, I know his probation officer. So I call him up. I'm like, hey, my dad's dying. There's drug paraphernalia everywhere. The police chief went in there, saw it. Nothing they can do. I'm like, can you go check on him tomorrow? He said, yeah. Went and checked on him, found all the needles, revoked his probation, took him into his office. My dad calls me. He's like, mate. He's high as kite. I'm, hey, dad. He goes, blake, you're gonna have to. You have to help me so they'll listen to you. I'm like, hey, man, you're going to jail. I don't want to go to jail. I don't want to go to jail. I'm like, hey, man, you're going to jail. Like, I can't keep doing this with you. You're going to jail. So hang the phone up. I have a breakdown. And I'm like, oh, my God. Like, if he goes to jail, he's gonna get bare minimum care. He's gonna die. So I call him back, hey, I'm like, can he go get. He's dying. He needs real medical help. Can we convince him to go to the hospital? Then he can go back on probation at the house or whatever. But let's see what's wrong with him. He said, yeah, we'll do that. Took him to the hospital, man. He was there two hours. They lifelined him to some hospital in Roanoke. Next day, he's having open heart surgery. He's done so much heroin and fentanyl that he has vegetation on his heart.

Sean Ryan (69:42)

He has what?

Blake Cook (69:43)

Vegetation.

Sean Ryan (69:44)

What does that even mean?

Blake Cook (69:45)

Mold. Because drug addicts use back. They don't use. They use faucet water with bacteria. So he had shot up so much that the bacteria in the water had went to his valve and started creating mold. That's how much heroin he was doing.

Sean Ryan (70:05)

Holy.

Blake Cook (70:06)

So he had open heart surgery. He dies in surgery. They bring him back to life. They give him a second chance at life. Doctor calls me. He's like, hey, he's got, like, less than 5% chance to live. I'm like. Because I'd had a conversation with him. I had a conversation with him afterwards. They're like, he'll wake up. Blah, blah, blah. But, like, we're not sure. And he was mumbling. He's like, all I heard was cremate me and spread my ashes on the hill. The hill. His house was built on a slope, and that was the hill. That's the hill that we played on as kids. And that's all I heard. And I was like, oh, my God, he's gonna die. Like, Nicole, he's gonna die. And dude. Dude made a miracle. Like, he was a miracle. He woke up the next day. Infection. No infection. Vitals were good. Everything was good. So I told my wife, I said, this is my opportunity. This is January of 2023. It's my opportunity, honey, to save him. I financially can do it. I'm medically retired. I have the time. I have to go save him. So I packed some bags, went to the hospital, walked in, didn't even know who he was. He's got no teeth. He's weighing at maybe a buck thirty. He's five'ten five'eleven Pale as can be. Looks like he's ninety some years old. Barely recognize him. He's talking to me, and I'm talking to him. And, man, I stayed there. I slept in my car, my truck. I slept with the hospital. I called my wife. I said, hey, he's agreed to let me help him. She said, all right. Like, we have, you know. My stepmom tried to visit him. Melissa. She was kicked out of the hospital for doing heroin in the bathroom. So I'm like, hey, she's got to go. She's living in his house. She's got to go. So what I did is I came up with a strategy, is I created a renter's document and had my dad sign it. And I paid him a dollar a month as a renter to allow me access into the house. Because if not, I'm just breaking into the house. And she could call the police on me, but she can't no more. Because I have an actual contract signed by Jim Cook that I pay him a dollar a month for my room downstairs in the basement so I can kick a door in, do whatever I want to to the house. I'm a renter. If I break something, I just gotta pay the landlord, and that's him. Her name's not on the house, just his. So, man, I went down to this house. I was like, hey, here's a Contract. I'm staying here. She's like, I'm out. I'm leaving. I'm like, cool. That was easy. She gives me the keys. She calls some drug. The drug addict. Pick her up. I go in the house. Sean. I've been into thousands of dope houses, users, dealers, just disgusting people in general. The moment I walked in, I threw up. The smell. The dog was overdosing. Also had withdrawals, not overdosing. Had withdrawals from dope and had diarrhea everywhere. There was a mop bucket full of water, diarrhea, water, where she had tried to clean it up, but it's just sitting there for days. Diarrhea all over everything. The dog at one point had been chained to something in the door in a back bedroom on the carpet. And there was just shit and pee everywhere. And I found out that the dog had been chewing on syringes and it was getting high. And they haven't been using there because she'd been staying with somebody else. He's been in the hospital, so the dog's having withdrawals. I'm like, man, I gotta clean this house. I gotta clean this house. I spent thousands. My childhood best friend and my cousin on my dad's side. Name's Josh Lumbo. Phenomenal human. Knew I was in town. I was actually staying with him. I couldn't stay in the house. I'd get sick. I'm on my hands and knees. I spent hundreds of dollars on cleanup stuff. I'm like shop vac and diarrhea, ripping up carpet. He shows up and helps me clean this whole house. Most disgusting house I've ever been in. And we had it spotless. And she was gone. I was. I was still visiting my dad. I was making the house. I fixed the steps. I fixed. I went and bought him a bed to bring upstairs. I didn't want him sleeping on a dirty mattress. We got him brand new everything. And she. Sorry. I'm having some get kind of emotional. So I leave to go back home. This was about a month later. See my family, do some things. My dad's still in the hospital. They release him. I get home on a Friday. They released him that same Friday. They weren't supposed to. They weren't supposed to release him till the following weekend. I was gonna pick him up. He had somehow convinced somebody. Something. Something happened where they released him. So I went home. I was home and my Aunt Judy calls me and says, hey, they released your dad. I'm like, oh, my God, I'm not there. What do you mean? I can't watch him like he's gonna go back. He gets home that Friday night, drops him off. He gets home immediately. He had been in contact with my stepmom since he's been in the hospital. He somehow got a cell phone and everything and was able to get in contact with her. We didn't think they had any contact. I thought I had fixed that problem. He gets home and she pulls up maybe 10 minutes later. The neighbor says, About 30 minutes later, my dad's drug dealer. Tammy. I figured out my dad's drug dealer. I got addresses. Sean, cars, mama's house, houses they were storing dope in. I had times of houses. I dedicated the whole month also to following her around everywhere. I had built a case for the sheriff's office of Wyoming County. Everything they need. Tried to give it to their dope cop. Crickets. Try to give it to the sheriff. Crickets. They wanted me out of that county so bad because I was forcing them to do a job they didn't know how to do. And I was calling them out on it. I have everything for you because their excuse was, is, you know, we don't have enough information on her. Cool. Stand by. Boom. Here's everything. Phone numbers, license plates, houses, everything you need. Her drop zones the day that she gets her resupply, everything. I went to full straight detective mode again and got them everything in a big old folder. Pictures. Took pictures of the cars, pictures of her, pictures of her mom, pictures of everybody. Her dog. I had everything in there. They wouldn't touch it. Wouldn't touch it. Didn't want nothing to do with it because that system down there is so corrupt.

Sean Ryan (77:51)

Where is this?

Blake Cook (77:52)

It's in Wyoming County, West Virginia. It is the good old boy system. Who pays the most money is in charge. I couldn't get help from nobody. I went to the sheriff's office, to the sheriff himself, who's known me since I was a child. I was told, he's just a drug addict. I understand that, guys, but here is your number one drug dealer in the county. This woman's not only serving him dope, but she is traveling from Pound. So there's four towns in where I grew up. Poundville, Mullins, Baileysville and Oceana. She would come once a week and do a round in every little town and then go back home to Princeton. She didn't even live there. She drove 30 minutes away. I gave them everything, man. They told me to fuck off. They want nothing to do with it. They wanted me out of there so bad so that the night that they got home, my dad left with the drug dealer. Drug dealer came and picked him up. They came back home the next Saturday. Drug dealers stayed there a little bit. They went back to the drug dealer's house. And everybody on the. So the hill that I grew up on is. Was primarily my whole family. And the neighbors have known me since I was a kid. When I tried to move in and made my stepmother leave, dude, them old women on that hill baked me brownies and cookies. And they were like, hey, thank you so much, because it has just gotten so bad. So they were calling me and giving me updates, and I'm like, trying to get home. I'm like, I'm in. I'm in North Carolina at this point. So I'm like, man, I gotta figure out how to save my dad. So I called my dad up. Now, Sundays came around. Sunday's here. I'm like, hey, dad, this is like Sunday night, 10 o'clock at night. I'm like, what are you doing? The neighbors are calling me. You weren't supposed to leave the house. She's not even the. Melissa is not even supposed to be there. The drug dealer's been up and down the driveway, dude. I was sending text messages out to deputies, to police officers. She's there right now. This is the car. Nothing, man. Crickets. So I'm like, I gotta get down there, dude. I gotta do something. So I'm like, hey, she's got to go. I've already contacted your probation officer. They've already contacted your probation officer, man, you're going to jail tomorrow. Like, you have to. It's not. He thought I had some power. He was like, you need to fix this. I'm like, dude, what do you mean I need to fix? There's nothing I can do. Only thing, I'm trying to help you. I'm giving you a call right now telling you that your probation officer is showing up tomorrow. She needs to be out in the house. He's like, all right, all right, we'll figure it out. I'll figure it out. He had a call at 4 in the morning from my dad's neighbor. She was a younger girl. And Melissa would go down and ask for a cigarette. And they pretty much just pestered her. She lived in the house that we grew up in. And I had been trying to help them get Melissa out of there too, and trying to help fix some things around their house because my dad was on drugs and the house was falling apart and they were renters. And she said she calls and she says, blake, Melissa called the cops on you. I'm like, how? She called the cops on me? I am literally six hours away. She's like, they lied. They said that you were laying down the street with a sniper rifle. I was like, well, I'm home. She goes, well. Well, the police officer took her to the master's office, and she swore a domestic violence protective order out on you. I'm like, what? Then my dad's beeping in. I'm like, I gotta go. My dad's calling me. I answer the phone. It's the last conversation I ever had with my father. He said, fuck you, you piece of shit. We took a DVPO out on you. I'm gonna go do my time in jail. And there ain't shit you can do. You're a piece of shit. Worthless son. Hung the phone up. So I'm like, what is going on Now I have a DVPO taken out on me. That's if found guilty of that, that's worse than being a convicted felon. So I'm like. Immediately went into like, I gotta go stash my gun somewhere else. Cause then first thing they do when they serve you, that is they take your guns. But luckily, I was four states away, and there's no communication with that crappy agency there. They didn't really. They don't even know how to handle that properly. Thank God. It's like the one mess up where I took advantage of. She didn't have my address, so nobody could serve me anything. These dudes are calling me, asking me to come turn myself in. I'm like, dude, I don't know what you're talking about. See you later, alligator. So I got up with an attorney who was a friend of mine, Tim lapardis, who. So my dad. So sorry, I'm skipping that. Monday morning, my dad got arrested from probation. They took him to the courthouse. Some people in the courthouse know who I am. And went to talk to him and said, jim, you have to drop this. He. He is a good person. He trains law enforcement. He's not gonna be able to do his job. My dad said, fuck that piece of shit. Didn't drop it. So I got up with Tim Lapartis, who was my dad's really good friend growing up, who's an attorney there, represented me for free. He helped me figure out a solution out. So I did some smart things while my dad was in the hospital, right? Cause he needed my help. Nobody else could help him except for me. I made him sign his Social Security Checks over to my house. All of his retirement money went to my mailbox in North Carolina, so she didn't have access to it anymore. And if he did that, I would buy him dinner while he was in the hospital. I'd help take care of him. I'd clean his house, do whatever he needed me to do. Well, he did all this. And I was like, okay, I have an advantage here. She won't get any money for dope. It's the end of the month, she's not getting any money for dope, and she needs a fix. So I called her up. I said, hey, Tim Laparos was like, hey, let's offer something. I said, all right. I was like, 450 bucks. I don't know. I came up with a number. It was 450. And I said, hey, if you drop this, I'll pay you $450. And every month, I'll mail my dad's checks to you so you can cash them. Because the little fast check, general store, grocery store in our hometown was allowing her, knowing that my dad's in jail or in the hospital, sign the back of his checks and cash them and then go buy dope with them. So. But they would get like a 10% of the. Of the whatever, 3%, whatever. They were making money. They didn't care. So they allowed her to fraudulently sign his checks and cash them. The whole town is crazy. So she says. She goes, yeah, we could do that. I said, look. Cause it's thousands of dollars in his retirement Social Security. I'm like, I don't care what you do with the money. I'll mail it to you every month. As soon as I get it, I'll mail it. I'll overnight it. I'm panicking, Sean. I ain't slept in two days. Because what if she gets up there and BS's and some female judge believes her and I get convicted? I'm done. I mean, your guns are gone. Everything. What am I gonna do? That's all I know, is how to run a gun. It's all I've done my whole adult life. She said, I'll do that under one condition. I said, what? You have to write an apology letter to your dad's drug dealer. Because she knows you've been following her. Because I knocked on her door and asked her to stop selling my dad drugs and stuff. Pretty much terrorized her to run her away. I'm trying to save my dad's life. Didn't break the law, didn't do anything that I Wasn't supposed to. I just made my presence known. I said, you want me to write an apology letter to my dad's drug dealer? She said, it's the only way that I'm gonna drop this. I was like, oh, man. Oh, man, what did I do? I wrote a letter. I had a conversation with Kyle about this not too long ago. That letter was not to her. That letter was to myself. That was an apology to myself for acting the way that I had acted out of character, risking my family's future to do things that I shouldn't have been doing. So I wrote the letter, and I sent it to her, and they dropped it. It's the last conversation I ever had with my dad.

Sean Ryan (87:14)

Man, I'm sorry.

Blake Cook (87:15)

So it's a little frustration there. And I heard from him about a week ago. He got out of jail. He spent a year in jail. He said, hey, Blake, I love you. He didn't respond. Hey, I just want to know you're okay. And then two days ago, I got a text. I blocked the number. I'd appreciate you letting me know that you're okay. I said, I'm not going back to this. I'm not going back to this. Because after they dropped that dvpo and after the justice system and law enforcement that I've dedicated so much time, I trained their little SWAT team for free 15, 20 times because I wanted to give back to my community that I grew up in. I have a small skill set. I have a passion for this. I want to help you. But when I asked for help of just doing your job, it was crickets. I was trying to do the right thing. I was so close in my mind of helping him, and all I needed was a little help from the law to do their job, and they failed me completely. So after they dropped that, I said, man, fuck law enforcement. Fuck this community. And I went straight alcoholic, man. I drink every day, all day, hate, push my family away. Passing out drunk in my backyard by a fire. And I'd finally realized that I'm never going to get over this. And the only way to get over this is to take my life. That was in April. I knew my son's birthday was May 22nd. I said, man, I can't take my life before his birthday. I can't take that from him. And at the time, I'm not thinking straight, right? Whether I take it before or after, still going to ruin his birthday, right? But I was trying to put his feelings first somehow and say, I'm going to wait. So that Was about two weeks when I started really deciding that, you know, I'm dragging my family through the mud. I'm feeling like this. I can't. I need to set them free. I am failed. I am. I am dead inside from my dad's addiction, because I did. I tried. I tried to save him, and I failed. I failed miserably. And I thought that I actually had a chance to save him. And I was taking it out on my family by drinking, pushing them away, staying on my phone. So I was like, hey, man, it's time to prepare things for when you're gone. So first thing, bills. Made sure everything was on auto draft on one card. Boom. Paperwork for the house, for the cars. Everything went in my safe, labeled to my wife, and said to my wife, here are the documents. Everything, life insurance, whatever. Everything that was important for my afterlife, to help her have somewhat of a smooth transition, in my opinion, was there. May 22 came. We were in Tennessee.

Sean Ryan (91:12)

Does she know this?

Blake Cook (91:14)

She knows it now. I shared this story at our Blueberry couples camp last year. It's the first time that anybody's ever heard it. I held that in for months before I ever spoke about it out loud. And May 22 came. We were in Tennessee visiting my brother. Had my son's birthday with my family. We came back home, got home. I texted Kyle. So I talked to Kyle. Previously on social media. When I was first went to help my dad, and then I had to drive home to get resupply. This show gave me hope. I listened to his episode. I don't listen to. I don't listen. I'm not real big into listening to people's podcasts and stuff. If I listen to a podcast, it's like the legends of the old West, Billy the Kid, things like that. That's what I really like. But I was like, man, I need something that's. I'm tired of listening to music. I don't want to listen to music. I tried listening to a couple other peoples, but I was just not mentally there. And there was something about Kyle's podcast. I talked to him a few times on Instagram, maybe one or two times. Remember, I was transitioning from Glocks to Siggs. I knew that he had just started shooting Siggs. I was asking him some questions, small Instagram talk. And I listened to the podcast and I heard his story, right? And I was seeing. I'm getting chills, man. And I was seeing what he was doing. I thought, oh, my God, he was addicted a little bit, right? Look at him. Now I can save my dad. There's hope that people can be addicted and be saved, because in my whole law enforcement career, it was just drug addicts dying all the time, overdosing. It was horrible. But now there's one positive story of somebody that has overcame this. I can help my dad. And that's what gave me the motivation to do what I tried to do in those two or three months that I was there. So at the time, I was training tactical teams through the colleges. So North Carolina, how that works is a college can. Because there's only, like, for, like, training wise, you know, a college can host a course, have me come as in as an instructor. It's free to law enforcement officers. And then the state reimbursed the college for paying me. It's a great system. So I was doing that through the colleges and I was like, man, I loved. I still love the law enforcement community, even though I was mad at the certain group that failed to do their job. I love cops, man. I think what they do every day is courageous. And I was like, man, I'm going to reach out to this guy. I'm going to give him the advice on how to teach cops through the colleges. If they're going to get any training, it might as well be by somebody like him because there's so many fake trainers out there, right? He's got to be legit. He seems genuine. I reached out to him May 23 and said, hey, man, do you have time for a quick phone call? He was like, sent me a picture. I still have it. It was. It was weights. And he's like, hey, I'm working out. I'll call you in a little bit. Or can I call you a little bit? I was like, yeah, man, absolutely. The day came, no phone call. May 24th came. I didn't know this at the time. I didn't even know this until when I talked about it at the couples camp. May 24, 2012, is the day I got blown up. May 24, 2023, is the day that I drove my truck. My service dog goes everywhere with me. I put her in a kennel, I kissed her. And I drove to Marshall's parking lot in Wilmington. Parked at the very end and rolled all my windows down. I wanted somebody to hear the gunshot, and I wanted somebody to call the police, and I wanted somebody to find me before the birds come in and eat me away. I bowed my head on the steering wheel and I said, God, please forgive me. I'm in pain. I don't Want to go to hell? Please don't send me to hell for this. I'm just hurting. And I said, amen. And I went to grab the gun. My hand grabs the gun. My phone rings. I remember the last two digits of this number. Eight. Two. This last two digits. Kyle's phone number. Because I remembered he was in the 82nd. It was Kyle calling me. As I had my hand on the gun, grabbing it, he was calling me back. Squeaky wheel gets to grease my phone. Made a noise. I grabbed my phone. I am so grateful for that phone call, man. I am so grateful for that phone call. Cause the things I would have missed out on in life, man, it just wasn't that bad. So a big, beautiful man called me. And I answered the phone, said, hello. And he said, hey, man. Hey, man. Sorry I didn't call you back yesterday. I said, hey, man. You calling? Had a great time. You calling. Had a great time. I'm like. He's like, you busy? I'm like, nope. No, I'm not, man. He goes, hey, yeah, yeah, I got your message. I was like, yeah. I started talking to him about the colleges. He's like, yeah, man, that sounds great. That sounds great. He goes, hey, do you know anybody that. I just had a cancellation in my protector mindset course. Do you know anybody that you used to work with on the team that would want to come and take it? I'm like, man, I don't know anybody right now. Like, I'm in the middle of something. Like, I'm like, no, I don't. He goes, oh, all right. You want to come take it? I said, you want me to come take your course, bro? I'm about to kill myself right now.

Sean Ryan (98:05)

You said that?

Blake Cook (98:05)

No, no, no, no. I didn't tell him. He didn't know this until months later, until he heard it at the couples camp. I'm like, dude, in my mind, I'm like, bro, I'm about to kill myself. I'm not going to tell you. Yes. But the other half of me was like, gave me a little hope, gave me something to look forward to another. I love cqb, man. I love shooting. I love this industry. I was like, yeah, man, I'll come take that course, dude. I hung the phone up, Shawn. I was so excited. I was like, oh, my God, man. I'm gonna go take this dude's course. I've seen the videos. We had a mutual friend that had taken the course a month or two prior that was like, it's the greatest course ever. I said, Man, I gotta go try it out. And man, I sold all my stuff, right? I didn't really have much. I was so mad at law enforcement, I was selling all my, all my things, giving it away. I drove over to OP Tactical in Raleigh. It's like one of the best, like tactical stores. They have all the good name brand stuff. Man, I dropped a bunch of money, got belts, got all this stuff. I was like, man, I'm excited. I'm like, holy shit. I haven't felt like this since months. And showed up to the course about all that stuff on Friday. Course was Saturday and Sunday. Showed up to the course Saturday morning and I'm sitting in the back and reintroducing ourselves and introduced myself and cause a care, you know, Blake's here. Blake has his own training company too, so it's cool to have him here. And I'm like, how are y'all doing? I'm truly a nobody, but how you doing? So an hour, 45 minutes in this course, man. I do some demos with him. You know, he's showing the students Corner Fed what 1 and 2 looks like. And I'm running reps with him. You know, maybe he just felt that I was capable of helping him demo. So after that he's like, hey, take these six students and do Corner Fed with them. I'm going to take these other six and do Center Fit. I'm like, what are you talking about, dude? Like, I have a Delta former unit guy that's asking me to take six of his students that has entrusted in him with money that. And he's trusting in me to be able to teach them. Even this little bit of knowledge gave me a little fire in my gut. Right? Nervous, but I'm like, dude, I'm capable of doing this. Why are you nervous? This is what you. You're good at this. I'm like, but I can't believe it. I'm like, sure, dude, yeah, whatever. Whatever you need. Roger that. So we go over there and then we're switching and then spend that whole day I'm helping him teach. And then the next morning, second day of the course, he's like, hey, I want you to run the first scenario with and then I want you to flow in with the students and kind of, kind of help guide them a little bit if they get stuck. I'm like, yeah, cool. Phenomenal course. So we're at the end of the course and the students, I'm in the back sitting down as a student and these. There's 12 students. I'm like the 13th. And these students are given the pros and cons of the course. Like kind of like closing statements, right? About every student is thanking Kyle, but thanking me for my knowledge, everyone. And I'm like, what is going on? I started feeling some self worth again. I started feeling like maybe I'm worthy, maybe I shouldn't die. Maybe there's a purpose for me here. Because what really draw me into Kyle was as he started his course out is we're going to talk about God and if you don't like it, you can get out. I was like, dude, that's how I feel too. But like, it's hard to. I'm in a bad spot right now, right? So. But the last students, like, yeah, Blake, thank you for everything. Thanks for your knowledge. Kyle's like, hey, man, you didn't know this was a job interview, did you? I'm like, I got my own training company. What you talking about? Job interview? I started my own training company. Competitors? No, not really. But you know, I'm like, in my mind, I'm like, man, I got my own training company. I'm not gonna come work for you. What are you talking about? And then we started talking at the end of that. And then I saved my life. I've been with him ever since. And that was the end of May, October 22, 2023. I was re baptized because God gave me a second chance. He put the right people on my path to save my life. And I will spend the rest of my life honoring him. And that's what I'm going to do. Because he gave me another opportunity which I feel like I didn't deserve. He took something that the devil meant for evil and he turned it to good. And he did it to save me. And had I met Kyle any sooner, I don't think we would have clicked the way we did. I don't think Kyle was. Kyle had just gotten back from his treatment that he needed to receive me into his life. Timing is everything. And I don't believe the day that I grabbed a gun and my phone went off. I don't believe in coincidences anymore. I believe in God's timing. I believe he is the power. And he will guide you in the direction that you need to be. Even when you feel like that you're carrying the load all by yourself. But guess what, brother? You're not. He's carrying you. And he's carrying the load to help you get through it. And that's what he did. And that's how me and Kyle Met and we've been running and gunning ever since. He's my brother, man. I love him more than anything in this world. I love that man and his family and Erica and his children. They are my family, and I'm just grateful for the opportunity to. Even so I dropped my company. I prayed and prayed and prayed, man. I was like, man, what do I do? This is. I've always wanted to work for myself. And then prayers I kept, you know, were two or more gathered. There I am. I could do it by myself. Or we can partner up with Kyle as a team and use our platform to bring people closer to him. And that's what we're doing. We're also teaching you to be men, but more importantly, we want you to be Christian men and women so the next generation sees what that looks like.

Sean Ryan (105:45)

Wow. I definitely was not expecting to hear that.

Blake Cook (105:53)

Saved my life. I'm beyond grateful, man. I am the opportunities, man. Sean is, you know, did it August last year, a couple months after I met Kyle, we got hooked up with Bournemouth. We did this video shoot for him in Arizona. We're riding around in Hilos, and I remember sitting there hanging off the side of it. Kyle's to my right. Two former still Team six guys on the. On the back end. I'm like, what are you doing here? This is all God. I'm just a cop. I'm just a. At the end of the day, I'm just a cop. I have a former unit guy, and I have two former SEAL Team six guys behind me. And I'm the fourth man. God is good when you submit to him. Fully submit to him. After everything I just went through, here I am flying around on a little bird with these guys. And that was when I realized, man, this is all God. This is all God. Here I am, and here I am before you, Sean, on probably the most respected platform in the world, in my opinion. And I was just a cop. God is great. He will put you where you need to be, whether it's one person or 100,000 or a million that can be saved by this message. Even if it's just one person. I am where I'm supposed to be on the day that I'm supposed to be here with the person that I'm supposed to be with. And I truly believe that.

Sean Ryan (108:00)

I believe that, too.

Blake Cook (108:10)

Powerful.

Sean Ryan (108:12)

Very. Wow. That. What did Kyle do when he found out about that?

Blake Cook (108:32)

So my wife was the first time my wife ever heard about it.

Sean Ryan (108:34)

That was the first time anybody had heard anybody had ever heard anybody at.

Blake Cook (108:38)

All it was the second night of the couple's.

Sean Ryan (108:41)

Holy shit.

Blake Cook (108:43)

Everybody was crying. I was crying. My wife was crying. Wife was a little upset with me. Cause she's a lie to him. Come talk to me. I'm like, I wasn't thinking straight. I was thinking that I was saving y'all from me is what I was thinking. I'm saving you from the monster I swore when I married you. I promised you nobody would ever hurt you again. And I'm saving you from me. I'm not physically hurting her. I've never physically hurt. Excuse me, physically ever hurt my wife, but I was emotionally hurting her by just being an asshole, being a drunk. So I was gonna save my family.

Sean Ryan (109:40)

Does your son know? He's going to now, isn't he?

Blake Cook (109:48)

Yeah, he listens to your podcast.

Sean Ryan (109:51)

How are you gonna handle that.

Blake Cook (109:54)

Man? He's such a cool kid. He's so understanding. He is. He is just such a good son. And we're gonna watch the episode together and we're gonna have conversations. That's what I told him. He asked, can I watch the episode? Yes, but not on your own. I'll watch it with you. Cause I don't want him to hear that and think that I was giving up on them. I wanted to protect them. I just wasn't thinking right at the time because I was mentally dying from somebody else's drug addiction. I put my dad in front of my family for the first time. Thought that I could save him because they can save anything, you know, And I failed. And I felt like a failure. And then I felt like a failure as a father for putting them second and then still failing. And then now I'm failing at home. After my failure of my father, it was time for me to go. But I think he's understanding enough to know because he has watched the. He watches everything I do, you know, Man, I love that kid, man. He's my hero. He is. You know, his dad sucks. His real dad sucks. He's. He knows this, but he smuggles drugs with boats, a boat captain, drives to Mexico and Florida all the time. He's been arrested. He's got a more rap. He's got a longer rap sheet than about any criminal I've ever arrested. My son Googled his. He googled his name one time, found out that a month prior he had been in a hostage situation in Myrtle Beach. He took his girlfriend hostage and threatened to kill the cops or on an 18 hour standoff. So, you know, we have some conversations, we talk and we're Very open in our house about our emotions and feelings. And he's 16, but, man, he acts like a grown up. He's a. He's a phenomenal human.

Sean Ryan (112:43)

What's his name?

Blake Cook (112:44)

His name's Henry Stacy Hayes. We used to call him Stacy. Got made fun of in high school, I think. So he goes by Henry. But I found out recently that Hank is short for Henry, so now I call him Hank. Sounds cool. He likes it.

Sean Ryan (113:00)

So you won't tell him this before he watches?

Blake Cook (113:03)

We're gonna talk about it. Yeah. I don't want him to be a shock. We're gonna sit down as a family and have the conversation of, hey, we're gonna listen to this show, we're going to talk about this, and I'll explain to him everything that he's going to hear that could harm him or hurt him or not hurt him, but he be confused on. I want him to hear it from me directly before the show comes out.

Sean Ryan (113:33)

How long have you known this is how you're going to do it?

Blake Cook (113:38)

Going to do what? Talk to him about this?

Sean Ryan (113:41)

Yeah.

Blake Cook (113:44)

Oh, man. Sean, this is.

Sean Ryan (113:47)

Did you know this before we spoke?

Blake Cook (113:51)

I've never told nobody, and I knew he would never find out, but when he heard I was coming on the show, he was excited because he had watched some other episodes and he's like, you know, you gonna talk about things? I don't know. I'm like, yeah, so what is it? I'm like, well, kind of why I've been hesitant to ever do anything like this is because I don't want him to be confused. But he understands trauma, and he understands that relationship with my dad. He understands that PTSD from law enforcement. He understands my injury from when I was in the Army. He understands that I have some trauma, and he does a great job at keeping me happy and keeping me active. He's a major part of who I am now. But I'm going to talk to him about it because I think he needs to hear it from me first rather than hearing it on a podcast as a family. We're going to talk about it, and we're going to talk about. This is what happened. This is why it happened. This is why I was upset. And he's so smart and understanding that I know that he's going to understand because he's just. He's just like that. He's just a. He's a phenomenal person and he's understanding, and I don't think it's going to be, you know, is it something that I did. That was my biggest worry was, you know, was it me and mom, you know? But no, man, it was just me, my own demons. Trying to save somebody that didn't want to be saved was hard. And then failing at that when you thought that you could. And he understands that. We used to call him Papaw Jim, my dad. He hasn't seen him in years, since 2018. Well, he saw him two years ago. We were back home and we met with my dad at a state park at a little restaurant. And my dad was, like, shaking, and it looked horrible. And we had a long drive home and we explained it. And I told him that I'm not going to expose him to paw ball gym anymore to protect him. And he understood. He was a little kind of scared. Why he was like that. And I was like, well, he's on drugs. You're 15, man. I can't hide it from you. He's on drugs. Because you could just tell he's on drugs. I mean, scabs, shaking mouth, doing all the things you could just tell. So we had a long conversation that whole day about. About that. And he agreed that he doesn't want to see that no more.

Sean Ryan (116:56)

Are you expecting some tough questions?

Blake Cook (116:59)

Yeah, he's intelligent.

Sean Ryan (117:01)

What do you think the. I don't even know the first question will be?

Blake Cook (117:06)

I don't even know. I'm scared, to be honest with you. I am scared of those. What those questions are going to be. But I'm going to answer them with honesty. It's out. Am I going to hide anything or try to make it sound better? It's out. Maybe he can take something away from this that you know, one that God is good, that don't ever give up on life, don't ever give up on yourself, and don't ever run when things get hard. Because now he sees positive growth. He sees what we're doing now. He's already seen me at my worst, but I didn't give up. By the grace of God, and things get better. Life is hard, but things always get better. At the end of every rainstorm, the sun comes out. You just gotta bear through the storm. And I hope that's what he learns from this. But he's gonna answer. He's gonna ask some tough questions.

Sean Ryan (118:23)

There's a lot of lessons to learn from in this already. Yeah, we're just getting started.

Blake Cook (118:31)

Take a break.

Sean Ryan (118:32)

Let's take a break.

Blake Cook (118:33)

Take a break.

Sean Ryan (118:36)

You all right, Ben?

Blake Cook (118:37)

Yeah, good. I felt good.

Sean Ryan (118:40)

Some heavy stuff.

Blake Cook (118:42)

Yeah. Feel good.

Sean Ryan (118:45)

Good.

Blake Cook (118:46)

First time I've ever Talked about it other than with my wife and Kyle and Kyle's wife, Erica. So, you know, a lot of my followers on Instagram have an understanding of what I've been through, but they don't have a true understanding because everything you post online can be made to look a little better. Right? So. But, you know, if you put yourself out there to fight evil or to do anything in that line of work, trauma is going to happen. We're not meant to see things that we've seen or do things that we've done. And that's. That's what I think he. He really understands is I don't have a normal job, nor did I have a normal job, nor did I see normal things. And with that comes some trauma. So, yeah, it felt good to get it out. I've been holding that in for a long time, and I hope that it just reaches one person.

Sean Ryan (119:50)

I think it's gonna reach a hell of a lot more than that.

Blake Cook (119:52)

Yeah, you think so?

Sean Ryan (119:53)

I know so.

Blake Cook (119:54)

Yeah. Feel good.

Sean Ryan (119:57)

Blake, you gotta find forgiveness, man.

Blake Cook (120:01)

I am.

Sean Ryan (120:02)

I hope you do.

Blake Cook (120:08)

I'm trying to figure out how to find forgiveness without physically telling him I forgive him because I don't want to talk to him.

Sean Ryan (120:19)

It's for you, man. It's not for him.

Blake Cook (120:22)

Maybe that's crazy you said that. Because me and my wife were having this conversation. She said the same thing. Maybe when I'm ready soon, so I can move on, I need to call him and say, look, I do love you. You are my father and I forgive you, but I can't carry on this relationship. And I think maybe that's what needs to be said, truly. But, yeah, you're right. I need to forgive him. And I feel like I'm ready to forgive him. I'm just scared of his manipulation. He's already messaged me telling me he's sober. I'm 18 months sober, dog. That don't even make sense. You were only in jail for nine months, and the last time I saw you, you were on drugs still with my stepmom, so I can't help him. She is. She is. I have videos of her. Can't even put her shoes on. She is a. He's a bad drug addict. She is the worst drug addict I've ever seen. As long as he is with her, he'll never get clean. He'll never get clean. Moment he went to jail, she had some other dude living in the house, begging him, she'll never get clean. And I'm so scared that that phone call for forgiveness is going to lead to trying to save him again. That's what I'm scared of. Because where I am now and who I am now is not the same person I was. I'm a year sober from alcohol. I haven't had a drink or did I want to drink alcohol in this last year because I can feel God in my soul. And it's not that alcohol is bad. You're going to hell for drinking, man. It just doesn't do well with me. It brings the worst out in me. And my problem is, is once I get that feeling of the buzz, dude, it's like riding a bull, man. I ain't stopping.

Sean Ryan (122:51)

Maybe it doesn't have to be a call. Maybe it could be a written letter.

Blake Cook (122:58)

I thought about it. I'm just gonna have to not put my return ad. You don't know. They don't know my address. Anytime I mailed those other checks, I didn't put a return address or I made one up. But there's no.

Sean Ryan (123:15)

I think it does two things. It allows your dad to die knowing that you forgave him.

Blake Cook (123:31)

Yeah.

Sean Ryan (123:33)

And it sets you free.

Blake Cook (123:36)

Yeah.

Sean Ryan (123:44)

Let's take that break.

Blake Cook (123:49)

Yeah.

Kyle Morgan (123:58)

I'd like to invite you to gain access to an exclusive experience on Vigilance Elite, Patreon. Our patrons are the driving force behind the success of this show, and their support allows us to keep doing what we do. Depending on the tier you choose, you'll get access to benefits, like behind the scenes footage before each interview, early access to episodes, end of the month live, zoom calls with me, exclusive merch and more. Join us and become a patron starting at just $5 a month by visiting patreon.com vigilanceelite that's patreon.com vigilanceelite When I started podcasting, I had no idea how to run an online business or where to get started. I tried several different companies to get my web store up and running, and they were all confusing. Then I found Shopify. Now my online store runs smoother than ever. I love how easy Shopify is to set up. It's flexible, powerful, and helps me grow my business. Shopify is the perfect platform to start small and scale up, upgrade your business and get the same checkout we use with Shopify. Sign up for your $1 per month trial@shopify.com SRS that's all lowercase. Go to shopify.com SRS to upgrade your selling today. Shopify.com SRS all right, Blake, we're back.

Sean Ryan (125:29)

From the break and wow. I was not expecting to get that deep that fast and deep quick. Yeah, it did. It did. It definitely did. I am curious. What did. What did Kyle say when he heard that?

Blake Cook (125:57)

He gave me the biggest hug. He was crying and just told me he loved me and said, I want you to know that as much as you needed me, I needed you in that exact moment. Wow. So that was just good to hear. It was really good to hear how.

Sean Ryan (126:21)

Much time had passed since. Between.

Blake Cook (126:29)

Six months.

Sean Ryan (126:30)

Six months? You'd known him for six months since that call?

Blake Cook (126:33)

That was November. I think we did a couples camp in October and November, but that was May. May. When it happened, he found out. I think it was November.

Sean Ryan (126:47)

That is definitely some divine intervention.

Blake Cook (126:49)

Yeah. Truly was pretty amazing.

Sean Ryan (126:54)

Very amazing. Wow. Incredible. Well, let's move. Let's move into wow. Let's move on past high school.

Blake Cook (127:19)

Let's go to college.

Sean Ryan (127:20)

Let's go to college.

Blake Cook (127:21)

That was a ride, was it? That was a ride. Rode that train hard. So I got a football scholarship, and, man, I was. I thought it was the greatest thing ever. So I got to Concord University, which is a school in West Virginia. Southern West Virginia. And I got there, and coming from a small town, like, our partying was different, man. Our partying was in the fields, chugging Bud Light and drinking Bacardi 151 by fire. Right? That's more dudes than girls. Whatever, you know, it's the country. I mean, I grew up with half. I grew up with everybody that was there anyways. I've known them my whole life. So I go to college, man. And I went early for summer practice. It was kind of boring. It's just football all day. Meetings in the morning, meetings in the afternoon, practice in the morning, practice at night. I was like, oh, God, this sucks. So then the rest of the students started coming in, and right as football was starting up, I went to my first massive college party. And it was in, like, an apartment complex. It was like all these apartments were having one big party. You could go from apartment to apartment. So I go down to this one guy's apartment, and he's like, nah, man. Football players aren't allowed in here. I'm like, get out of here, man. Get out of my way, big boy. I mean, I thought I was something. I was. You couldn't tell me nothing. I was 18. I was at a football scholarship. I was on the football team. I took two steps. This dude came up behind me and punched the living fire out of me. Boom. Knocked me out, fell down the steps. I Woke up, my buddies were carrying me to the car, and they went back into party, and I laid in the car in pain. There's a small bone that's, like, right here that he had broken. And I had to go to the doctor the next morning and had to go tell my football coach I can't play because I was at a party that I wasn't even supposed to be at. You know, we weren't supposed to party. He's like, well, fine, you're not playing. He goes, you know, you're going to be red shirted, and you don't even know if we're going to carry on your scholarship next year. I was like, all right, I understand. I understand. Whatever. So, man, for the next, like, two or three months, I never went. I didn't go to one class. Not one class. I didn't even know where my class was. I knew where the food hall was and the gym, and I stayed in my room and played Xbox all the time. That was back when Call of Duty, when they had the zombies. The zombie game, man. I was playing that all the time. Partying at nighttime. Well, about November. Well, October, right before Halloween. I go to my room, and on my door is this letter from the college. I'm like, what is this? Take it off, go in my room, open it up. It's like, ah. Dear Mr. Cook, you have zero attendance. Your grade point average is zero. We're informing you that if you don't bring your grades up.

Sean Ryan (130:49)

Zero.

Blake Cook (130:49)

Zero.

Sean Ryan (130:50)

Literally zero, Zero. Holy shit.

Blake Cook (130:53)

And you go to one class, and if you don't bring your grades up or make an effort, then we're gonna have to remove you from the college.

Sean Ryan (131:03)

Well, that should be easy. There's nowhere to go but up.

Blake Cook (131:06)

I was like, I reading it. I was like, balled it up, Sean. In this most beautiful, rounded, small, little tennis ball. Kobe threw it away. I said, they're not gonna kick me out of here. No child left behind. I'm like, dude, now I'm like, bro, it's not high school. You know what I'm saying, dude? A month and a half later, we're coming up on Christmas break. People were standing by my door, going to my room. They're like, hey, Mr. Cook, how are you? I'm so and so. Administrative office. I'm like, yeah. How are y'all? Yeah. Did you get your letter? Yeah, we got a letter. And you still didn't go to class? No. They were like, oh, cool. Make sure you leave nothing behind when you leave here for Christmas break. You're no longer enrolled here. I was like, oh, my God. I'm like, no, let's work something out here, right? I can't go home. I'm embarrassed. My mom's gonna kill me. She's like, nah, man, you gotta go home. So I call my mom. I'm embarrassed. She's like, ah. She's like, oh, you idiot. Blah, blah, blah. She's like, you know what? Everything's gonna be okay. She's fine. I understand. Maybe you just couldn't handle, you know, a college, a university. I'm like, all right, Mom. Yeah, you're right. She's like, all right, cool. I'm gonna roll you in a community college. We're gonna get your grades back up, and then we're gonna go talk to one of them, see if we can get you back in there. I'm like, absolutely, Mama. That sounds like a great plan. I attended the first class for 15 minutes, and I was like, this ain't for me. I got up, left my notebook and everything in there, told the teacher I was going to the bathroom, never came back. Well, my mom said that I couldn't find a party where I grew up. By this point, she was living in a little bit bigger city with like 20,000 people. What my mom didn't know is I could find a party in that city. Because Applebee's had Happy hour at 12 o'clock. And I got drunk with a bunch of moms with their kids and the little carriers on the ground, like, every day. So I didn't go to class. And my mom was infuriated. Cause she was. She had tried. I kept telling her, mom, maybe school's not for me. I'll get a job. I'll take a break. I'll mature a little bit. She's like, oh, cool. She's like, let's try that. I was like, all right. So I stalled for, like a year. I sleeped all day, played Call of Duty all night. Hey, Mom, I'm gonna be a professional gamer. She's like, you gotta go get a real job. You're a loser. I'm like, no, I'm not. I'm working on a career. She's like, playing video games is not a career. So finally one day she comes home, and by this time, she had met my stepdad. And my stepdad was trying to get me to go. Like, he worked. He did something like delivering stuff for the coal mines. And he was like, hey. He took me to work with him one day, and I was like, oh, my God, this Sucks. I don't want to do this. And finally she came in and she's like, hey, you need to find a job, or you going to have to go, mom, where am I going to go? She's like, I don't know. You can't keep living here because I'm just supporting this. I'm like, okay, that's my mom. I'm the baby child. You're not kicking me out. You kidding me? My mom. Papa would light you up. You kicked me out of this house. That's her mom and dad. So I'm like, all right, whatever. So I'm playing video games. She calls me up. She's like, hey, you find a job? I'm like, I know. I'm gonna try Hibbit sports up to that new shopping center complex. She's like, okay, all right. So I go up there and I'm like, oh, man, please give me a job. I'm like, I'm looking like a bag of ass, right? I got, like, sandals on and some. And some gym shorts and a dirty shirt with Dorito cheese all over it and a hat backwards. I'm, hey, man, you're hiring. They're like, oh, we're not hiring you. I was like, wow, I thought this was going to be easy. So I go outside, and I'm sitting on the bench. I'm like, oh, my God. She's really going to kick you out of the house. Where are you going to work? I'm like, I'm not going to McDonald's. I'm not. No. We'll figure this out. I hear this guy. He's like, hey, man, you okay? And I look up is kind of a bigger dude, and he's got the old digital camo on. It said united States Army. I was like, oh, man, I'm not doing so good. I'm like, my mom's about to kick me out of the house. I need a job. He's like, you need a job? How old are you? I'm like, at that point, I was 20. I'm like, I'm 20. He goes, come on inside. Let me talk to you. He's like, what do you do for fun? I'm like, man, I play Call of Duty. He was like, oh, yeah? He goes, let me talk to you about real life. Call of Duty. It's just like Call of Duty. I was like. I was like, dude, just like, call of Duty. I'm like, I'm down. I'm like, let's go. We go inside. I do the little, like, computer asvab thing got my score. He's like. He's like, what do you want to do? I'm like, I don't know. He goes, how about the infantry? I was like, what's it like? He goes, call of Duty, man. He goes, front lines. He goes, just like the game you play all the cool gear. I was like, yeah, I want to do that. He's like, all right, cool. Signed up. Got a ship date for, like, that was shit. Date was in January or December of 2010. And I go home, my mom. I'm playing video games. And she goes, you're still here. Do you get a job? I'm like, I did. She goes, oh, man, I'm so proud of you. She goes, what are you doing? I'm like, mama joined the Army. She's like, oh, my God. I killed my baby. Tell him you can't go. I was like, I don't think that's how that works, Mom. I'm like, I've already signed paperwork. I'm fully committed. She goes, oh, my God, I killed him. She's like, all hysterical. I'm like, no. And then my stepdad's like, no, it's good for him. He'll be all right. Whether my grandpa was in Vietnam. My grandpa called her and was like, tammy, he needs it. My uncle was in the Air Force. He needs it. He is a bum right now. He has no guidance. There's no discipline. All right? Because I've been handed everything because of football. High school, Blake, it's Friday. You have a game tonight. Put your head down. Take a nap. Basketball, Tuesday, Fridays. Take a nap. You want to go, hey, I'm kind of hungry. I can't play tonight on an empty stomach. Hey, we'll go down to the cafeteria, see if they'll feed you. Like, babied all through school. Didn't do anything in school. And so I was. You know, I failed myself as a young kid, but the people that were supposed to be molding me didn't do that either. So I had no drive, no discipline, no nothing. So I get sent to Fort Benning, Georgia, and I'm like, oh, my God, what did I sign up for? As soon as I got off the bus, everybody's yelling. It's complete chaos. People are holding bags over their heads. I'm like, come. I didn't see this on Call of Duty. This wasn't on Call of Duty. No, it wasn't. Y'all supposed to hand me some sexy stuff. I got a bag, and y'all are yelling. At me. So I did basic, right? My recruiter didn't give me anything in my contract. Nothing. I didn't have anything. So about two months in, and I started asking people what they're doing. So people are like, oh, man. I have, you know, the. The 18X ray. Special Forces. I got. I got airborne contract. I got this. And I'm like, I mean, I got nothing. I got. Now I don't have anything. I'm like, you know, people got bonuses, and I'm like, if I ever go back home, I'm gonna fight this dude. He lied to me. It's not like call of Duty. Everybody else in here getting paid pretty good. I don't have anything in my contract. So about two months in basic, the drill structure comes in. He's like, reading off everybody's duty assignments of where they're going. You know, people with airborne contracts, some are going to Italy, some are going to brag. Obviously, the 18x guys are going to brag, and they're like, cook Korea. I'm like, huh? What do you mean, Korea? Like, I'm the youngest child. Like, when we went to, like, Chinese restaurants and stuff, my mom took me to McDonald's. How am I. I'm not going to eat their food. I don't know what food they got there, but I'm going to starve. What are we talking about? I can't go there. Are you absolutely kidding me? So I'm like, I'm panicking. I'm like, man, I'm like. Some other guys are like, oh, man, South Korea. That's kind of cool. I'm like, that's not cool. Like, at this point, I was dedicated, right? I wanted to go fight bad guys, you know, once I put the uniform on. Because I come from a family of military people, and I'm that generation now. My younger half brother is now he's in the 82nd. But I was the first one from as the kids to go do something. So I was listening to all, like, the Toby Keith music and stuff before I left, get myself all, like, hyped up, you know, the American soldier. By this point, I was like. I was kind of in it, man. I was like, man, it's kind of interesting, whatever. But I wanted to go do something. I didn't just. I didn't know anything about what I was doing in the first place, But I know I didn't want to go to Korea because I knew that guys didn't deploy from Korea to go fight a war. And we were still in war, right? So If I'm here, let's go do it. I still had that. They were starting to mold me to understanding of my purpose, why I'm here, right? I'm here to go fight a war. Go fight bad guys. So I'm like. I go in there that was on, like, a Friday and Sunday. It's like, relaxed day or whatever, cleaning guns, whatever we're doing. And I find my drill sergeant. I'm like, hey, sir. I'm like, sergeant Rutherford. I'm like, hey, Steph. Sergeant Rose or drill sergeant, can I talk to you? He's like, what you got? I'm like, hey, I can't go to Korea. He's like, wow. I'm like, one. Like, for real. I don't eat any kind of food like that. He's like, shut up and get out of here, private. I'm like, no, no, for real. I want to go do something. I want to go to war. You have to help me get somewhere that's going to deploy me. I didn't just sign up for this to have a job. Now. I know my purpose. I understand why I'm here, and I understand the importance of why I'm here. I understand that there are people who have died wearing this exact uniform that I'm wearing. I want a purpose. He goes, pulls out. He said, what have you got on your last PT test? I'd maxed out 3 hundreds on all my PT tests. I actually trained for this. I didn't have a job, right? So I had six months to train. I trained every day. I ran all the time. I did everything I could because I had been told that you can get contracts in basic. So I'm like, I want. I heard that I can get an airborne contract. He's like, look, you have 300 on your next PT test. It was. It was coming up to be like, the last PT test before AIT. He's like, you get a 300 on your PT test, and I'll give you an airborne contract because you have the highest score here. You've had consistent three hundreds. I'll give you an airborne contract. I was like, yeah. I was like, I can do that. PT test was coming up about three days before. Two days before the PT test, I came down with the flu, diarrhea, throwing up, feeling weak. I'm like, oh, man, dude, I'm really going to Korea. And the night before the PT test, my bunk mate was like, hey, cook. He goes, I know you ain't been feeling well, but you want to buy something that'll Give you energy. I'm like, what could you possibly have? Like, packs of sugar that he stole? Like, he goes, no, no, no. I was able to get a five hour energy shot from the commissary. I was like, yeah. I was like, how much? He's like, $100. I was like, done, Done. I'll get you the money when we get out. He goes, all right. Man, I ripped that thing the next morning, man, I was thrown up on that run. But I was so dedicated to get out of a deployment to Korea or be stationed in Korea that I maxed out that PT test. I got a 300.

Sean Ryan (144:14)

No shit.

Blake Cook (144:15)

So, I mean, I. I'm pretty sure I'd myself on that run. I wasn't stopping. I wasn't stopping to puke. I had. I had to do this, like, because the pushups and setups were easy for me, but it was always the run that I always came so close to, always passing to get to 300. It was always by, like, seconds, and I didn't have seconds to spare. I was feeling horrible. So they. Rutherford held up to his end of the bargain and gave me an airborne contract. So got the orders. Everybody else, again, was pretty much going to Italy. Few were going to brag and, hey, we'll get you to brag. I was like, man, that's great. I'll take Bragg. An hour and a half from Myrtle beach, four hours from home. Like, that's, That's. That's okay. I can do that. I like that. And then I got to, you know, went to airborne school, and, man, it's just. Just another, you know, month of just being treated like shit. And now I'm talking to guys there that are like, yeah, yeah. I'm like, oh, where y'all going? They're like, oh, you know, we're going to rasp after this. And I'm like, well, what's that? They're like, oh, Ranger selection. I'm like, dude, how did I not get any of this? Like, I forgot what my ASVAB score was. But it. It, it was. It was high enough to get these qualifications. I don't know. I can't remember what it was. It was like. It was like, I don't know, like 101 or something like that. I'm not sure. But it was high enough to get these contracts. My recruiter just. I was easy. Yeah, it was like a stray dog outside, and he gave me a little puppy chow, little food, and I was happy. Or he gave me a job to. I didn't think of the bigger picture. And I was like, man, I gotta get there. You know, it sounds cool. You know, that's the kind of people I want to be with. So I get to the 82nd, get to brag. It was really cool, man. I was just like, seeing all these, like, maroon berets and just the kind of the vibe that people were putting out. And I was like, yeah, this is. I like this place. This is cool. But when I got to my company, man, you just get treated like shit. There's like, no true leaders at that time in the 82nd. Everybody just treats you like shit. There's nobody taking care of you, nobody helping you or trying to be a leader. You got people that have never been leaders a day in their life, like E4, like the E4 mafia dude. Those dudes would treat you, beat you down and treat you like, physically hit you and treat you like. Then expect for you to have morale. And then the squad leaders would come down after doing nothing all day long instead of, like, going to do training. 5:00 comes around, it's time to go home. Hey, we gotta go to area beautification. That's not what I signed up for. I would have signed up for it all. This is ridiculous. I was like, this. I can't. Because at that point, I was like, 20 years. I can do 20 years, retire at 40 years old. Yeah, I could do that. At this point, I'm like, committed. I'm in this. I'm like, man, I'm the type of people I want to be around. But, man, that. I was very proudful wearing my maroon beret in my 82nd patch. But it was like every day, bad leadership was sucking the morale out of me. I'm like, I want to do this, but I got to get out. I got to go maybe try out for something else. And that was when I saw my first SF guy. We were in a gym and he was walking in and had a Green Beret. And I was like, man, what is that? He said, special Forces. I looked it up. I was like, man, I got to get there. That's what I want to do. I wanted to go be. I want to go to Ranger school. Wanted to do this. And I had a horrible staff sergeant at the time. I mean, he was just a redneck from Louisiana that just was. He had failed selection like three times, failed Ranger school. Didn't want any of his guys going anywhere, right? Because if I pass Ranger school and I have a tab, what does he look like? Jealousy. He didn't want Any of us going anywhere. Dude, I was smoking the mmpt. They would punish me by, like, stupid punishments, by trying to smoke me. I looked at it as a workout. Smoke me out for hours. That just means I don't go to the gym after this. I enjoy it. I'm working out. I enjoy working out. I was taking all that hatred that we had talked about and I would put it into working out. I enjoyed it. Push ups frontly and arrest, whatever, because guess what? You're not going to do it till I die. Eventually you have to stop. And I just got to outlast you. And I can. But it was just all the time. There just. There was no training. I think I did cqb, like twice. Like, the rest of it was walking around Area J in the woods, acting like we were taking contact. Like, there's no real training. I'm like, man, this is. This is not. It's got to be something better than this. Because my motivation. I've been there for eight months and I'm like, ready to leave. I'm like, this sucks. I'm getting treated like shit every day just for being good at PT or like, not being able to take the machine gun, like the 240 at a certain time while people are yelling at me and while I'm doing jumping jacks. I can't take this machine gun apart fast enough. And neither could they. That's the problem. I was being asked to do things that they couldn't do. But because they had been there and they deployed some BS deployment to Iraq and didn't do anything but sit on a fob they were superior to us Cherries. They thought they'd done something for their country. So instead of just taking us under our wings and teaching us the ways you treated us like shit, you killed our motivation. Hey, brother, we are your backup. We are the people that are going to be fighting next to you. You don't want somebody next to you that hates you when you're trying to fight for your life. Because if you get shot, I'm going to have to help you. You don't want somebody that hates you to help you. So how about you build us up? But it never got to that point. It never. It just. I saw the first Green Beret and I was like, that's what I want to do. I want to be that guy. I started looking into it. I see somebody that was in SF and I'd ask them questions. They were nice guys. Hey, man, what's it like? Hey, we do this, this, and this. There's grown up rules, big boy rules. I'm like, dude, I got to get there. Because I spent my whole youth being a part of a really good team. Football, basketball. I always wanted to be the best. I wanted to be on the best team to win, and I wasn't on the best team to win. And I didn't want to go to war not being on the best team. So I asked if I could go to the selection. No. I asked to go to Ranger school. No, we're locked in. We have an appointment coming up or we have training coming up. We don't have guys to spare. We're already short. I'm like, man, you should want me to go do these things. Like, as a leader, I want you to be better. Because if you go and do these things and I help build you up, then that's an example of what a good leader I am.

Sean Ryan (152:04)

They probably didn't understand that because that's how their leaders were.

Blake Cook (152:08)

You're exactly right. It is a domino effect. They've been treated like that forever, and then it just keeps going and going and going. I think it's making a change now mainly because social media, Right. I think a lot of these leaders have a lot of squad leaders on brag that followed follow us and want to be good to their dudes because they're learning from what we're doing. I think it is making a change. But back then, man, I hated going to work. I hated it. I couldn't get out of there because nobody wanted to send anybody. Because if you sent me and I actually came back with a tab, you know, and you didn't have one, like, it sucked, man. It sucked. And then finally I gave up because they're like, yeah, well, we're locked in on unemployment. So About November of 2011, we were supposed to deploy to Afghanistan. We went to Louisiana. No, we were going to go to Louisiana, jrtc. And it got canceled. Then deployment got pushed. So we did a jump. Supposed to deploy like the following week. So I went in for a haircut at this place called Frederick's Salon in Fayetteville. And I went in there and this girl cut my hair. Did a great job talking to her. Super awesome person. Really connected with the person, man, I thought she was the most beautiful thing I've ever seen in my life. Man, I thought she was beautiful. And I left to say goodbye and then we went to some other training. Oh, we went to Dahlonega to train for about two weeks. And I came back and they were like, all right, Guys, your appointment got pushed again to February. All right, whatever. So I went in for a haircut, and my wife was the one that I connected with. She was like, hey, she just got out of a relationship. She's dating this guy that was in the Q course, and he went to Germany and cheated on her and stuff. So she wasn't looking for a relationship. Neither really was I. And she was like, hey, let's all go out tonight. I'm gonna hook you up. The girl that was in the chair next to me, she thought you were cute. I'll set it up, and we'll all just go out tonight. Bring some of your friends. I was like, yeah, that's awesome. Let's do that. And we go to my wife's apartment, and the girl never showed. So I was like, all right. So we all just started hanging out, and then me and my wife started hanging out and stayed all night with her. Didn't have sex. Thought that was awesome. Got married, like, 41 days later.

Sean Ryan (155:02)

41 days.

Blake Cook (155:03)

41 days. Yeah. That date alone is crazy. January 4th, 2012, is when I got married. What? We had just found out this past year, her grandparents were married January 4th.

Sean Ryan (155:17)

No way.

Blake Cook (155:18)

I found out in a newspaper article that my aunt posted on Facebook that my Dad's parents married January 4th.

Sean Ryan (155:25)

Wow.

Blake Cook (155:26)

No idea. We had no idea. We have them hanging up in our house. Both of the articles. Hers is a wedding invitation. Mine's an article. Super crazy.

Sean Ryan (155:36)

Very cool.

Blake Cook (155:37)

So how I met my son is about that third or fourth night. I was over at her house, and it was, like, in one of those old historical homes downtown fable that they turned into, like, an apartment complex with, like, four apartments. They had a backyard. So we had a fire going. She had her son. She said, hey, he's in the bathtub. My mom's watching him. I'm gonna go put him. Put him in bed. I was like, all right, cool. I'm sitting out by the fire. I'm by myself. I hear, like, little footprints. I'm like, oh, what is that? This kid runs over. He's, like, soaking wet. He sits on my lap, looks right at me dead in my face and says, I love you. I'm like, whose kid is this? First of all, whose kid is this? I'm a little freaked out. She's like, oh, my God, Stacy. Mom, you were supposed to watch him. She's like, he just ran out. And you know, she's got hip replacements. She can't really run after him. She's like, I'm so sorry. He wasn't supposed to meet you. I was like. She's like, you know. Cause she didn't want him to meet me, obviously, because she don't want to traumatize him with, you know, some male at his house. And. I don't know. We got married 41 days later, and I just felt this instant love for them that I've never felt before.

Sean Ryan (157:03)

And what was your second interaction with him? With your son?

Blake Cook (157:10)

We had. I came over. We had. I had breakfast with him and stuff. And then about a week, I just. Instead of staying at the barracks, I just stayed there at their house.

Sean Ryan (157:23)

And when did you start getting close to him?

Blake Cook (157:27)

Almost immediately. Honestly? Yeah.

Sean Ryan (157:29)

What drew you in?

Blake Cook (157:33)

He was so loving. He was just. He was a good kid. But, man, he was hell on wheels, too, though. One time I had to discipline him. I was like, hey, go sit on your bed. He's like, little kid, man. He did something. He wasn't listening. His mama said, hey, man, go sit on your bed. You're in timeout. So he goes and sits on the bed. I hear him in there, like, messing with the bed. I'm like, hey, five more minutes. Just added. He looks at me dead in my face and goes, five more minutes. I was like.

Sean Ryan (158:11)

I was like.

Blake Cook (158:12)

I said, hey, I can't whip this. I can't whip him. But she gonna have to go in there and deal with that. I was like, I'm about to lose it. She said, what do you do? She starts busting out laughing. I'm like, no, man, go in there and whoop that tail. What are you talking about? So, you know. But we've had a great relationship since day one. Since day one. It is just. It's just like, he's my child since day one, and I wasn't trying to be his dad. He already had one. I didn't know anything at the time. Like, his dad was. He knows this, but his dad was very abusive. Like when I met my wife, my wife had screws screwing her windshields down. Not windshields, sorry, her windows down. And all of her around. The whole house, the whole apartment. She had like five or six locks on the inside of the doors, keeping them from being kicked in. So it was a. Always. I never knew at the time. I didn't know. I didn't know anything about that. I always thought it was weird. I thought, okay, well, maybe somebody previous to this. But, yeah, the windows were locked. Back door had the same thing. It was a pretty bad situation that I came into, but I found it out weeks Later. And I was like, mama. She's like, she didn't tell me. Her mom told me. I confronted her about it. She's like, I. I don't want you to leave. She's like, I'm, I'm. I'm sorry, but I figured if I told you, you would leave. You know, it's hard to find somebody as a single mom anyways, but it's really hard to find somebody that has a crazy, abusive ex. I'm like, I'm not going nowhere. But they don't. All I ask for from here on out is honesty. And that's what our whole marriage has been, is honesty. And that was. We got married January 4, 2012, like 41 days later. Went down, had a marriage at the courthouse, you know, got married in a red button up with a cheetah print tie, you know, some vans, man. And she's dressed up nice. Had some guys from the one leader that was phenomenal. Two leaders. One was named Nick Fredsy, and the other one was named Dakota Cardos Santos, which ended up becoming one of my best friends. Really took me under his wing. Phenomenal human being. Owns a gym now in Pennsylvania. Phenomenal human he was, man. He kept me going every day. He was a phenomenal leader. And if he would have stayed in, he would have been a phenomenal leader. But he was there at my little wedding, and I didn't know any better or anything at the time. And I didn't tell anybody I got married. I didn't tell anybody. And so finally the training came for jrotc, right? And I'm walking around Louisiana. My phone's just. I'm like, dude, who is calling me? I've been calling me for 10 minutes. I look down, it's like, took 28 missed calls from mom. I'm like, dang. She found out. I'm like, dang, this is gonna be bad. So we carry on with the little training exercise we were doing. We get back to the little hooches, and I call her and she's like, my grandma will be her mom. She should have been a CIA spy on Facebook. She could have found anything. She was the Facebook Farmville queen, man. She lived on it. She goes, well, mom said that on so and so. That so and so. Saw where you got married. She goes, are you married? I'm like, yes, I am. Yes, I am, Mom. She goes, oh, my God. Oh, my God, you're an idiot. And I'm like, they have a great relationship now. But I was like. She goes, I had to find out through your grandmother on Facebook. I'm like, sorry about that. I was like, makes you feel any better? Nobody else knew unless you lived here. And so finally, man, we got through that. And then I deployed at the end of February, so I met my wife, got married in 41 days, went to training for a month right after I got married, and then deployed two weeks after I got home.

Sean Ryan (163:05)

Wow. So how'd you propose to your wife?

Blake Cook (163:11)

The private way. You know, there's a little bar restaurant downtown called Husk Hardware. It's the first place we ever went to. We had dinner, and we had a little thing in the corner, and, you know, took a knee, asked her to marry me, and I was shaking so bad. I'm 21 years old. No, 22 at the time. I'm like, you know, couldn't even get it out right. And I just knew I loved her. That's. That's all I knew. I just knew that, man, I've. I don't even know. Like, I've never even felt this really, this kind of love, like, other than, like, my mom, but I feel like I almost love her more than my mom. I loved her so much. And, yes, I proposed at a restaurant, right? And then we got super wasted, went to Dollar night at Lido's downtown. Everything was a dollar. You know, we were high on life. You know, we were just living it up at the time. She's older than me. She's a cougar. You know, she's 39. I'm 35. So, you know, she's. She's older, and, you know, free haircuts for life, though. But, you know, whatever. It's a perk. But I deployed. And then a couple weeks into deployment, my son's father found out that I was gone. He was. He was infuriated. He was livid at this point. And because he had been. He didn't even been around, really. But he just shows up and tries to cause violence when you were there? Never when I was there. But once he found out, I left. It was game on. There's police reports. Like, when I became a cop at Favo, I kind of looked into some addresses and stuff. He actually tried to cut a pipeline at that apartment and try to blow the whole apartment up.

Sean Ryan (165:11)

What?

Blake Cook (165:12)

Yeah, before I was around, like, did some shot. Some of the most horrific things I've ever heard of to her. And I don't want to say them, because they're her stories, but it was gnarly. It was really bad. So she's like, blake, you know, I don't know what to do. So called my mom. Hey, Mom, I got a favor to ask you. I'm like, it's gonna be a hard favor, but I need Nicole and Stacy to come stay with you. I explained the situation. She said, tell them, come on. And she took him in, took care of them, made sure they were safe. And. But my wife, Every other weekend, my wife had to drive to Fayetteville. Five hour drive. She drive. Drop Stacey off on Friday, drive back to West Virginia because his. His grandfather, his real dad's dad had custody. Not his dad, because it's part of the good old boys system. He had a bunch of money in Fayetteville and knew the judges and how that even worked out is backdoor deals. But she would turn around and drive five hours Sunday to go pick him up and then drive five hours back. She was driving 20 hours in a weekend.

Sean Ryan (166:48)

Wow.

Blake Cook (166:49)

So strong woman. But, you know, and my mom took him in. And so it was just, you know, it's a standard deployment. It was. It was winter. It was starting to phase out of that winter time, right? We're starting to get into the fighting season that you always kind of hear about. When we first got to FOB Warrior, the Polish were still there. And, man, polish were crazy. Like, they were. They were somehow making, like whiskey or whatever. They were making, like them dudes were. Them dudes were wild. Like, it was cool to see that. It was a cool experience. And, you know, we. We were doing the exchange with him one time, and we were on a route and there was an ied and it was close to, you know, we were like an hour away from, like, surfing turf, right? And then. And, dude, we're like, oh, you know, we'll call EOD to come out and look at this, man. These dudes just start chucking grenades. They're like, I will blow it up. I'm like, this is not how we operate, right? That seems kind of dangerous. And they're like, oh, no, we gotta eat. We got surf and turf. So I was like, this is what? This is wild. This is crazy. And, you know, so finally they ended up leaving. And then, you know, the rest of the big 80 seconds started coming in, right? Command Sergeant Major Love, dude was a soup sandwich, man, and he was the head of everything. And it just got to the point where like, hey, man, we're at war. We get mortared every day. Like, why do I gotta wear a PT belt to go to the bathroom? Why do I gotta wear a PT belt to go to the chow hall. What are we doing here? And that was when I was like, I have to get out of the 82nd because this is. This is. This is crazy. I'm wearing a PT belt, and I'm shaving in, like, horrible environments because I can't have, like, a little scruffle. Like, I'm shitting in MRE bags up at the outpost, like, and I'm still having to shave up there. What is going on? It doesn't make sense. Everybody's stuck in this World War II. Guess what? That was great. They did great things. It's not World War II anymore, right? It's a different environment. Y'all can loosen up a little bit. This is not that long ago. Like, that's a long time. We can chill out a little bit. I don't need to shave and shit in an MRE bag. Like, nobody's bothering us. It was just. Everything was ridiculous. But it was. It was fun, though. The. I started to really get to know the guys. We started forming as, like, a little team. We had gotten a new squad leader at the time. His name was Sergeant Staff Sergeant Garcia Boches. He was like. He's had, like, all these jumps. He was a black hat for a while. He was Pat Tillman. Went to his class in jump school. So he was a awesome guy. Very old school, though. But he. He took. He looked out for us. And then before him, we had Nick Fredste. Who was he? He deployed, like, seven or eight times to Afghanistan. Like, in my eyes, he was like a legend. Like, man, this guy's still Alive. He's got eight deployments in 10 years of his career. Like, he. He'd been deployed, like, all the time. And he was like. He was so chill. Like, we had him as a squad leader for, like, seven months. And, man, he just taught you everything. Like, he just took care of you. He just taught you everything. But I still couldn't go anywhere because we're locked in on an appointment. So then he got sent to another company, I think, like, Delta Company. And then we got Bochez, which was awesome to have, and then we deployed. But, I mean, it actually felt good because there are a lot of good young guys in the 82nd. There's a lot of. There's a lot of good dudes in the 82nd. You know, the conventional army has been overshadowed. People think it's not cool anymore, like, being in the infantry, like, standard infantry. Because of social media, right? Social media. Now, when you think of something sexy, you think of beards and, like, plate Carriers and cut off T shirts and, you know, the special operations community, like, it's. It looks cool and it's. You know, a lot of guys in the 82nd are really good dudes, and I think they feel maybe overlooked, you know, maybe like, we're not as important anymore because we're just in the 82nd. I've heard guys tell me their story. Well, I was just in the 82nd. Hey, man, be proud. Yeah, be proud of what you did. You're still in the infantry. You're still in the 82nd. You're still jumping out of planes. Be proud of what? I'm so proud to be in the 82nd. I don't go around and try to act like I was in SF or anything. I'm proud of what I did because what I did set me up from where I'm at for where I'm at now. That was where I was supposed to be. So I tell all those guys, anybody to this day in the 82nd, be proud of what you're doing. Your service is not overlooked. You guys, there's a lot of really good young dudes who are, who are changing this. They're changing the 82nd. You know, I've been reached out by several guys and I will go on post and train any of those guys for free from the 82nd, because I didn't get that. I didn't get any CQB training except for basic. And it was the whole, like, grab, lean rock, lean rock, like old school stuff. My heart is with them guys, man. If they ever need anything from me, like, they message me all the time, and I will do whatever I can for you. Any training, any shooting, any advice for, like, after the military, like, I got you because I'm proud of what. And I'm proud to know you. Be proud of your service. So we had one of the SF groups, I don't know which one that was on our FOB Warrior 2. So we would see them around and they just had like a different life, right? Everything was just kind of carefree and big boy rules, you know, they're treated like big boys because they are, right? They come from an amazing group or amazing unit or amazing team and something about that. I was like, man, when I. When I leave here, I'm. I talked to Bochez and. And he's like. He's like, I'll help you. He's like, we'll. We'll get all the paperwork done. We get back, we'll do everything. And I was so excited, man. I was like, so excited. And then May 24, 2012 came. We were that week, we were the QRF and whatever outposts that the SF unit had, they were taking contact and we were going out to help them. The fastest road, too. I later found this out. The fastest road to them was. They labeled it as a black road. It hasn't been cleared of an IED in two weeks, but it was the fastest route them. So that's the one that our amazing leadership decided that we were going to go take. And we hadn't turned off Highway 1, but maybe more than a half a mile. And I'm the gunner and we're driving. And then. It's so crazy. Let me think about it now. It's so crazy. I saw this massive bright light and then it was like slow motion of seeing the dirt. I could see like piles of dirt. It was so crazy. Like, slowly. I never heard it. I just saw it. And I saw the dirt come up and I felt this heat pressure push me back. And my back plate broke in half. And then I came forward and smashed the whole left side of my face on the buttstock of the 240. And I woke up, they said, about 10 minutes later, on a gurney. I'm hearing people scream. I'm hearing people talk about the QRF that's coming for us. Just got ran over an ied. There's season, all operations. I hear Apaches. Here's something about ambushes. So the vehicle in front took the main blast, right? Our front half of her vehicle caught it because it was like kind of in between. But I got the back blast. The pressure is what got me. It pushed me back and broke my plate. And then I got slung forward and then broke the whole left side of my face. To this day, still have no feeling on the left side of my face.

Sean Ryan (176:03)

Damn.

Blake Cook (176:05)

You can look at my nose and tell that it's broken. So I have no feeling anywhere over here. This is. They never fixed it. Never gave me surgery for it. Nothing. It's just the nerves are gone. It's crazy. I feel this side, but not this side. If you ever see me with a face tattoo like Mike Tyson, it'll be on this side. Just so you know that teardrops. But I remember laying on the gurney and they're trying to get a bird in, man. One of my really good friends, he's calling in the nine line. His name's Josh Marshack. Phenomenal.

Sean Ryan (176:40)

Are you aware or are you just conscious?

Blake Cook (176:42)

I was aware at this point. I could feel bleeding. I could Taste the blood. I just didn't know where it was coming from. And I actually have a scar on my head. It was a massive gash. That's mainly where I was bleeding from, and. But I had no idea. I had a massive headache. My ears were ringing, and there was just tons of confusion. But I could. I could see Marshack next to me, and he's calling in the nine line. I'm kind of. I'm kind of hearing what he's saying, but, like, I'm kind of going in and out, too. And I love that dude. To this day, like, we still talk, and I still thank him. Anytime I see him, I hug him. Hey, man, thanks for getting that nine line for me. Then a bird came down, and they got me on the bird and. Crazy story about that, too. They got me on the bird, and I'm laying there, and, man, my head's killing me. I'm bleeding. And on the ceiling is a flag. You know, some of them will put their team flag or whatever on the ceiling, man. It was a Blackbeard flag. It was this guy. And I didn't know my injuries. I thought I was dying. The way everybody was acting. They're cutting clothes off on me, and. And I pass out. And I wake up at the little medical spot on FOB Warrior, and I got all these doctors around me, you know, asking me about feeling in my legs, my brain. My brain. I had a massive knot, like, a huge knot. They're like, oh, you know, they're trying to do all these things, but they couldn't find me to. Bam. Weather was so bad. What. Whatever they call it. The sky was red. I. I don't know whatever they call it, but. So I laid there for two days, Just. I remember laying there. And we'll get to that in a second, but. So they give me some. Some morphine. Like, I'm feeling kind of good, and I'm laying there. And then the next morning, the command sergeant major and the commander walks in, and they're like, hey, Private Cook, like, we need to talk to you about something. I'm, like, drugged up. I remember the conversation. They're like, hey, we need you to call your wife. I'm like, okay. I'm like, yeah, that'd be great. Can I got a phone on caller, Like, Because I had, like, one of those little Hodge phones that you could buy with the minutes. I was like, hey, somebody gave me my phone. They're like, but here's. Here's the problem is the 82nd and the family readiness group Called my wife that night. Told my wife that there was an accident and I was deceased.

Sean Ryan (179:35)

Are you fucking kidding me?

Blake Cook (179:37)

Next to my mom and your mom and my mom. And there was about an hour from my call, from the call she received from the. From when I called her. They called her first. They called her first thing that morning. Not that night, first thing that morning. Then I was able to call her an hour later. And she goes. Her exact words was, who the fuck is this? I'm like, hey, it's me. I'm like, I sound funny because I'm on morphine. I'm not dead. I'm alive. I'll call you in a little bit. She's, like, so confused. I'm like, hey. I'm like, this is really me. I promise. They get on the phone. They're like, Ma'am, Ms. Cook, we're sorry about this. He is alive. Nobody had died.

Sean Ryan (180:27)

But like, holy shit.

Blake Cook (180:30)

So for an hour, my wife and my mom thought I was dead. Like, how do you. How do you fuck that up? Because some army wife calls my wife and tells him news that shouldn't even been delivered to her. Why would you do that? It's not your responsibility. So that was. I think that still bothers my wife, maybe, that she got that phone call, but I can't even imagine, man, how she failed. So. But at least they were. They caught it fast enough to where it wasn't a day, right? Or hours was about an hour. And I think what happened is the lady that was ahead of the FRG had told her husband that, hey, I called the wife. She's okay. It's like, well, hold on. Nobody fucking died. He just got hurt really bad. So we were able to clear that whole mess up. And, you know, which was. Caused anxiety for the whole rest of the deployment for my family. But they finally get me to Bagram. I get a Bagram, and, you know, I have massive headaches. I don't feel well. I'm still throwing up. My legs are feeling weird. My back is, like, super sore. And I didn't break. My back, didn't have any spinal damage. I just had, like. My whole back was black. I guess just nerve damage. So they're like, hey, we can send you to Germany and then send you home. I'm like, hey. Or I'm like, can I stay? They were like, well, that's. How do you feel? I'm like, I feel great. They can't send me home. That's an embarrassment. I failed at college. I'd failed my family about Getting a job, like, I'm on a continuous path of failing. If I go home early, look like a bitch, I let my grandfather down. You know, I'm not dead, so why do I need to go home? So then they're like, that's fine, but you're not going to be operational for a little while. Take these Ambiens in the morning and at nighttime, sleep. I was taking, like, two Ambiens a day. One in the morning. I'd eat breakfast, take an Ambien, go to sleep. I'd wake up, go eat dinner, take an Ambien, go to sleep. Then. Then I was like, oh, I need pain medicine. They're giving me oxycodones over there. I was like, I stayed high and tired. Then, like, I kicked all of it to the curb. Because now people, like, are looking at me like I'm a pussy. They don't know the extent of my injuries. When I got back, I told them nothing was wrong. They don't know that I have some brain scans that, you know, they told me I was fine, but later on, when I got back home. So I get back home, we do the deployment. I do a couple missions with them, and then I get back home and we do a battalion run. I think I'm fine. I feel fine. I do the run. Don't even remember the run. I remember walking out to the field here in some AC dc We're all lining up, and I remember drinking water. That was it. That's all I remember. So then I was like, man, how.

Sean Ryan (184:08)

Do you know you did the run?

Blake Cook (184:09)

I don't know.

Sean Ryan (184:11)

How do you know you missed something?

Blake Cook (184:14)

Because people had told me that I ran. So I was in the formation. My shirt was wet. We had gray battalion shirts. My shirt was soaking wet. I thought maybe I was dreaming. I didn't know what was going on. People told me I ran. I don't remember the run. And my shirt's trenched. I mean, you're talking October, North Carolina, 80% humidity. I'm soaked. I thought, man, maybe I just blacked out. So a couple days go by. I started having these random nosebleeds, these massive headaches. My eyes, like, start hurting over here on the sides. I'm like, man, I don't feel right. Something's not right. I started getting, like, that. That feeling that we have when we stood up and your legs are tingling. That would come and go. I felt like my legs were always asleep. I'd be standing, and I'd get this tingling, and I'd have to Lean on, on my wife. So finally I go to Walmack and I asked to go to Walmac and I pretty much get told I'm a pussy. I'm being a pussy. Suck it up, you gonna be a sick hall ranger. I'm like, hey man, like I got hurt. Like I like to get a follow up. So finally they let me get a follow up and get these scans done, get a full body scan, and ended up being committed to the hospital. I had some. I had swelling in my brain and I had some optic nerve issues and I had some nerve damage in my spine. So I stayed in the hospital for like a week. And then they get the swelling down, they bring in a doctor who enrolls me into the first Womack traumatic brain injury pipeline. There was five of us. One guy killed himself, one guy dropped out, Two guys dropped out and two of us completed it. Me and another guy completed it. So for two years I did this pipeline. I met with a world renowned brain doctor. I can't remember his name, but me and my wife met with him once a month. To this day, Sean, I don't know why I was having the issues. It was never explained to me. Nobody ever got answers. Nobody ever got anything. I had a doctor, a neurologist told me that she thought I had STDs. What exactly. I got off phone with my wife, I'm like, what? And then she ended up getting fired because she was sexually harassing patients. The whole system was broken. To this day, I still don't know what happened. I did speech, memory and physical therapy every day for two years. Well, a year and a half. And I got transferred to the Warrior transition battalion because I had so many doctor's appointments and I couldn't ever get an answer. The army never wanted to admit that they messed up by letting me go back and not fixing me right then. Because that's on them. They let me go back. I'm sure that that doctor, when one didn't, did the brain scans. There's no way you didn't find that my brain wasn't swelling. I had a nod out to here and I was throwing up with nosebleeds. You just gave me Ambien. I don't know if there was like, hey, we can't just send people to Germany. Unless you're like actively dying. I don't know. I don't know. But to this day, I never got answers of what happened to me. I have a medical file that's this thick. I'm 100, total impermanent, but I never got answers. I could never get answers ever. So for a year and a half, I did speech, memory and physical therapy with no answers to what was wrong. But whatever they were doing was working. So after a year and a half, I felt normal. I had all these like shock therapies on my brain. I had these needles put all over, had all these things done, but nobody ever told me why, why I'm doing this. Like, oh, you know, you got a brain injury. It's just something we're doing, something we're testing out. I'm like, I'm not a rat in a lab. What's wrong? What are you doing to fix me? Oh, you know, you have a great care team. They got it taken care of. Yeah, that's great. But what are they doing to fix me? Have they not explained this to you? No. Bring it up to them. I bring it up to them. Nothing. Nothing. It was. It was horrible. You wonder why guys are killing themselves because they can't get answers. You don't care. You're a civilian or you're in the military and you're not giving people the answers that they need because you don't care. Something's wrong with me. What is wrong with me? If the army fucked up, that's fine. I'm not going to blame the army. But nobody ever told me what was wrong. So I got released from the pipeline. I had this little ceremony, whatever, like, oh, this was successful. I'm like, cool. They send me back to my unit, send me back. I can leave Warrior transition battalion, go Back to the 82nd. Get in the 82nd. Everybody's like rigging up, getting all their stuff. Little. Hey, Cook. Hey, man. Glad you're back. Go get your ruck. Needs to be this weight, blah, blah, blah. We got a combat jump tonight and we're gonna walk back to the company and you're gonna jump to 240. I'm like, I just got back. Like, I just walked in the company. I'm like, what do you mean? I'm not jumping. I just. I just did this for a year and a half. This was like the end of the end of the end of 2013. So about December of 2013, I'm like, I only have like six more months left in my contract. I'm like, I'm not jumping. They're like, oh, you're going to jump. You're not with the word transition tire anymore. You're going to jump. I'm like, man, this is bullshit. This ain't right. First arm was mad they're all mad because I went to the Warrior transition battalion and got help that I needed. Whether I got told what was wrong or not, whatever they did worked. I felt better. I still have some stuttering when I get excited. If you watch any of our videos on Instagram, when I'm, like, trying to teach, sometimes I'll stutter. But whatever they did, like, it was great, and I'm grateful for those people. But to this day, I'd still like to know. But so I get rigged up, I got no option. I'm an E4, you know? Like, can't argue. They're either going to give me an Article 15 for disobeying orders six months before I get out, or I can just suck it up and jump. So I'm like, cool, whatever. I'll jump to 240 at this point, whatever. We jump, jump out, parachute opens, everything's fine and dandy. Bam. Head busts right off the windshield of a Humvee. Smack the Humvee on the ground. I woke up, man. I don't know, Maybe. I mean, it could have been long. Thirty seconds later, I'm like, damn, I got a headache. I'm like, dude, suck it up, suck it up. Put my parachute up. Met up at the meetup point, the rally point, and I'm laying on the ground, and Tartan Bochez is right there, and I'm just throwing up. I am just yaking. He goes, cook, what's wrong? I said, hey, man. I hit my head off the Humvee. He shined a light, and I was bleeding down there on my face. He's like, are you sure you hit your head? I'm like, yeah, I'm throwing up. He's like, hey. He goes, go to the medical tent right now. He goes, you only got six months left. Go to the medical tent right now. Went to the medical tent, took me to the hospital. Same doctor in the er. Super cool. Right back into the Warrior transition Battalion the next day. They treated my concussion for about five months. And then they were like, hey, you seem fine. See you later. Go pick up your D. I walked in, still thinking I had treatment. I still had, like, a month left in my contract. And they were like, hey, you go pick up your DD214 and take this leave. I was like, okay, that sounds great. Am I okay? Am I good to leave? Yeah. Your doctor's cleared off all your paperwork. We have all your paperwork. I'm like, nobody ran that by me. Nobody told me I was cleared.

Sean Ryan (193:02)

No.

Blake Cook (193:03)

I was like, let me See my paperwork there it was.

Sean Ryan (193:05)

So they rushed you out?

Blake Cook (193:06)

Rushed me right out. Pushed me right out the door. Went to a social support center, picked up my DD214. And I didn't do it hard. I didn't do any out processing. Dude, I still have. I had, like, my helmet. I do any out processing. Never got a letter for, to bring it in. Nothing. They rushed me right out. See you later. And, man, that's why I do encourage people to. If you want to stay in this longer, try to get to those other units, man, because I feel like you might get better treatment. Maybe it's different now. I mean, it's been. My God, it's been 12 years now, but to this day, I have no idea. I just know how I felt. I just know that I was put in this important timeline. I know that I was sent to a battalion that was made so people can go to their appointments because they're messed up. And then I was rushed right on out. And I had two months of leave built up, so I took it.

Sean Ryan (194:18)

Damn.

Blake Cook (194:19)

And still had memory issues. Couldn't remember anything. Couldn't remember. I put my keys. Couldn't remember nothing. And so I had applied, so I got out early. So that was. That was like February or like March, March time frame. I was like, man, what am I going to do? What am I going to do? Because I didn't get out medically, don't have a degree, right? Didn't take that serious. Shooting a piece of paper in a trash can didn't work for me. What am I going to do? I have a son and a wife. She works, she does hair. But she had to lose all of her clients when I deployed to move back home with my mom. So she's still trying to build her clientele up. She gave all of her clients away for safety, and now she's trying to build all of them back up. It's hard. So I'm like, man, I'm gonna.

Sean Ryan (195:23)

Oh.

Blake Cook (195:24)

We were driving down Bragg Boulevard, and I saw this armored vehicle flying up the road. Blue lights and sirens. Said, fayetteville Police Emergency Response Team. I was like, that's it, man. I'm gonna be that. How do I get there? So I went to the police station. I walked in, police station, hey, I want to be a cop. How do I sign up? Like, oh, you know, you gotta go over to the training center. So I started the process and did all the hiring process. And then, you know, May came and I heard nothing. May and June, crickets. I'm like, man, I didn't get this job because, you know, I had to tell him, you know, so in that time period when I fell out of college, you know, because I was honest with him about everything, right? Smoke some. Smoke some weed. My stepdad had hernia surgery, and when he was healed, I stole the rest of his Percocets and sold them for money. So I had to be truthful on all this. They give you a lie detector test? I was like, man, maybe they didn't really like that. You know, maybe that was. Maybe I should have tried to a lot. I don't know. Maybe they didn't like that, man. Like June. In the June, they're like, hey, man, start be let next Monday. It's like a week. Start what? Blat. Basic law enforcement training. You're hired with the Fayetteville Police Department. You start. You start blat next Monday. I was like. They were like, we're gonna report. Send an email with all the instructions. I was like, am I hired? They're like, yeah. I was like, oh, man, I am cool. Let's go be a cop, right? I have no idea what to expect, but let's go be a cop. So first day in Blet, you know, we go and we're meeting with all the other people. There's. There's. We had like a large class. We had like 18. 18. 18 to 20 of us. And we lost six in for testing purposes. But Fayetteville has their own basic law enforcement training. So everything is in house. You don't have to A lot of places you go to college and go to Belet, and then you're sponsored by an agency that then picks you up afterwards. But Fayetteville is a really good department because Fayetteville is a very dangerous city. So they have their own instructors, their own be let on site at the training center. We have a whole training center. And so I go to be let. And we're sitting down, they're doing orientation, the city hall. And then we do that. And then the next day we report to the training center, get the training center. And they're explaining everything. And they're like, every Friday we have a test on. I think there's a total of like 20 some tests. Because it's all about, like, law, Fourth Amendment, like, all the. All the. Everything. Anything about being a cop. So they bring an instructor in on Monday, teach you for four days, and then Friday you take an exam. You can only fail 2. Your third one, you're out. And I'm like, I go home and I'm like, honey, I'm screwed. I'm like, I can't remember at this point. I can't remember. My memory is horrible. It's really bad. I'm like, there's no way I'm going to be able to sit down and do this and go take a test. I already had test anxiety. She's like, we're going to get you through it. I'm like, she's like, I promise you, we're going to get you through this. I'm like, all right, I'm going to try it. So every Wednesday and Thursday night, my wife would come home from working 10 hours, help me make index cards, and she'd sit up all night flipping them for me, helping me study all night hours. We'd get up 5 o'clock in the morning before test, and she'd flip index cards. I was like, top three of my class for academics. And there were some really intelligent people. I had like, I was getting almost. I never failed it. I never failed one test. It's because my wife stuck by my side and came home after a long day of work, feeding our son and then staying up and flipping index cards with me. And that's six months of doing that.

Sean Ryan (200:03)

Damn.

Blake Cook (200:04)

So she was exhausted. Terry now would never would have made it through Belet testing if it wasn't for her. I owe it all to her and God, but man, like, she made sure that I was successful.

Sean Ryan (200:21)

That's a good woman.

Blake Cook (200:22)

Oh, man. Yeah. Yeah, man. She was not gonna let me fail. Cause she had saw my life the last two years of how I was treated in the Army. She wanted to go talk to all these chain of commands. She was livid. I was like, no, leave it alone. Leave it alone. She's like, blake, I want answers. I'm like, I do too. But I'm like, I don't want to make nobody mad. Nicole, you don't understand. I don't want to be punished. I'm afraid that if I roughed up too many feathers, they're just going to send me back to my unit. Just discharge me and send me back to my unit. I'm like, just be quiet so I can just keep doing the treatment. Because if you start pissing off people, they're going to send you. They're going to send me back. If they send me back, then you have nobody to irritate except for that commander and first sergeant. And you're not their problem anymore. So she's like, okay, okay, okay. So she was already livid. I mean, she did. She had helped me shower. Like there were times where my leg was. Would just go numb. Like, just like a, like a. Not numb, like, not where I couldn't feel them, but like they were just asleep. And if I stepped, it hurt. It felt like knives were in my legs. Only in my legs. Never my arms, never my upper body, always my legs. The only answer I got was nerve damage. And that it can take up to three to four years for nerves to heal themselves. They're kind of like misfiring is what I was told. And that's what's happening. They're misfiring with my brain. And that's the feeling that I'm getting some BS answer. Not even a true medical answer. Sounded like talking about a car engine. Like, tell me what's wrong. But she never let me fail, man. So six months go to graduation, you know, she pins my badge on me. You know, I'm just so grateful that she took the time to do all this.

Sean Ryan (202:19)

And your wife pinned your badge on you.

Blake Cook (202:22)

Yeah.

Sean Ryan (202:23)

That's awesome.

Blake Cook (202:24)

Yeah, it was awesome. It was because she should have been worn a badge by that point. She knew the law. She knew law better than I did, you know, because it was. It was because she, she had to read the chapters and pick out what she believed to be important things. And while they were teaching, I would highlight things that they would be like, okay, you need to label the Sean Ryan show, wink, wink. That might be a test question. Yeah, but she would go through all the highlights and make the index cards for me, and I would make them too. And, and without, without that, man, there's. Without her push, right? Hey, man, don't give up. Don't give up. You're not broken. Because I could have laid around and made excuses. Oh, the army said I was zipped up, right? Jacked up, you know, because I wouldn't get any disability or nothing at the time. Nothing. Not, not, not a thing. No, nothing. No medical, no nothing. So she pins my badge on me and I get assigned to. Fayetteville's broken up into three districts. Camelton, Central, Cross Creek. It's a city of like 300 some thousand people. Plus all the craziness on Bragg. Right. A lot of people don't understand, man. There's more gang members on Fort Bragg than there is in the city of Fayetteville.

Sean Ryan (203:45)

No kidding.

Blake Cook (203:46)

Yeah, we'll get into that.

Sean Ryan (203:48)

Well, before we do, before we get into your LA career, let's take a quick break.

Blake Cook (203:52)

Let's do it.

Kyle Morgan (203:56)

I know everybody out there has to be just as Frustrated as I am when it comes to the BS and the rhetoric that the mainstream media continuously tries to force feed us. And I also know how frustrating it can be to try to find some type of a reliable news source. It's getting really hard to find the truth in what's going on in the.

Sean Ryan (204:18)

Country and in the world.

Kyle Morgan (204:19)

And so one thing we've done here at Sean Ryan show is we are developing our newsletter. And the first contributor to the newsletter that we have is a woman, former CIA targeter. Some of you may know her as Sarah Adams, call sign Superbad. She's made two different appearances here on the Sean Ryan show. And some of the stuff that she has uncovered and broke on this show is just absolutely mind blowing. And so I've asked her if she would contribute to the newsletter and give us a weekly intelligence brief. So it's going to be all things terrorists. How terrorists are coming up through the southern border, how they're entering the country, how they're traveling, what these different terrorist organizations throughout the world. World are up to. And here's the best part. The newsletter is actually free. We're not going to spam you. It's about one newsletter a week, maybe two if we release two shows. The only other thing that's going to be in there besides the intel brief is if we have a new product or something like that. But like I said, it's a free CIA intelligence brief. Sign up links in the description or in the comments.

Sean Ryan (205:34)

We'll see you in the newsletter. All right, Blake, we're back from the break. You just got through the police academy.

Blake Cook (205:45)

Where are we going? Yeah, so like I said, my wife. My wife pinned me, right? So I'm super excited. Starting to really feel like a cop. I got a badge, got a gun, all the training that I feel like I need. So I get my assignment. You know my assignment. Central District, which is kind of the city's broken, like I said, into three. Central is the middle. So it covers a lot of the really bad areas. It covers an area called Bonny Doon, Massey Hill, A lot of crime and gang members and all these things. And what is Fayetteville?

Sean Ryan (206:22)

I've never been to Fayetteville, so Fayetteville.

Blake Cook (206:24)

Is obviously a military town, but it's a. It's. It's weird. It's. It's. It's kind of nice, but it's kind of ghetto. It's. It's, you know, like the street that my wife grew up on was a really nice street. It's called Devon Street. It's one of the predominant areas in Fayetteville because she's born and raised in Fayetteville.

Sean Ryan (206:47)

Okay.

Blake Cook (206:47)

And the street behind it is one of the worst neighborhoods in the city. It's one of the worst roads on the city. And you could be driving nice, nice, nice. And then bam, ghetto. And then nice, nice, nice. It's. It's crazy. There's the. I really. Because I started out in this district, I got fascinated with gangs, like just how they operate, music, everything. So.

Sean Ryan (207:24)

Really?

Blake Cook (207:24)

Yeah, I just. I just got obsessed, learning everything I could about gangs.

Sean Ryan (207:32)

What kind of gangs?

Blake Cook (207:33)

So we have Bloods, Crips, we have mcs and we have some cartels. The New generation. And Santa Loa cartels pretty predominant in the area. Santa Loa cartel runs Myrtle Beach.

Sean Ryan (207:49)

No shit.

Blake Cook (207:50)

Oh, absolutely.

Sean Ryan (207:51)

What do you mean by that runs Myrtle Beach?

Blake Cook (207:53)

Like runs it? They are.

Sean Ryan (207:54)

Runs what?

Blake Cook (207:55)

Like everything. Strip clubs, drugs. Anything that comes in and out of Myrtle beach is Caloa cartel. It used to. A long time ago, it used to be kind of like the Russia mafia, but something happened with the Sinaloa cartel. Came in and just took over, dominated. So dominated it. So strip clubs, drugs, probably all the stores, all the. So when I was younger, when I would go there.

Sean Ryan (208:19)

You mean all the stores like Subway.

Blake Cook (208:21)

Remember how Subway used to like Subway in Myrtle Beach? You would go there, it would be like foreign exchange students from Russia. The wings, the. All the stores were. Had Russian. Now it's just a bunch of Hispanic. Hispanic people. Growing up, it was always. It was always Russian teenagers. Now it's not no more. Now it's. It's. It's Mexicans, Hispanics. So we train.

Sean Ryan (208:47)

How do you know they're cartel? So what? The cartel bought the businesses?

Blake Cook (208:52)

We just know that they operate out of Myrtle Beach. So anything in Myrtle beach is probably like drug wise. And guns is probably all being filtered through the cartel is what I mean. I'm not saying that they own the subways and things like that, but there's an increase of Hispanics in that area since the Sinaloa cartel has moved into that area. That makes any sense.

Sean Ryan (209:17)

Gotcha.

Blake Cook (209:18)

So because they operate off I95, right? So the halfway point from New York City in Miami, the halfway point is Fayetteville, North Carolina.

Sean Ryan (209:29)

Is it really?

Blake Cook (209:30)

You can take several exits in and out of our city off I95 and disappear. They operate a lot in Lumberton, North Carolina, which is called the Lumbee tribe. They're not a national tribe. I think Trump was trying to make it, but they're not. But there's a lot of land and they can disappear out that way. Like drugs and money and guns are just so predominant through Fayetteville and that Robinson county area because of 95.

Sean Ryan (210:01)

Interesting.

Blake Cook (210:02)

You can gump off I95 and then boom.

Sean Ryan (210:04)

So what was your first encounter with gangs? What initially got you infatuated with that?

Blake Cook (210:13)

There was this kid in Fayetteville called Kaboom. Holy. I think his name was Andreas Flight. He was the leader of a non traditional gang. So you have traditional. Non traditional. Traditional gangs are gangs like Lil Wayne came from, like Eastside Ma Piru. That is a gang that is nationally known everywhere sets. Everywhere. Non traditional was like a neighborhood clique. So he had a non clique called money gang. Right. And they were a blood set. They were.

Sean Ryan (210:47)

How many people are we talking here? What's. What's a non traditional?

Blake Cook (210:50)

20. 30.

Sean Ryan (210:51)

20, 30 people.

Blake Cook (210:53)

Young. Young teenagers who are violent. Okay. You know, it's the, you know, the serp young. Like 13, 14, 14, 15, 16.

Sean Ryan (211:03)

Okay.

Blake Cook (211:04)

17, 18 is kind of old.

Sean Ryan (211:06)

Old.

Blake Cook (211:06)

Yeah, that would be old. Older. You're not. You're dealing with those high school kids.

Sean Ryan (211:11)

So hold on. We're. I'm really, I'm. You sound like the guy to talk to. So 13, 14's young. 18, 19 is old. Where do they go when they're 20?

Blake Cook (211:25)

So a lot of times they'll start in non traditional gangs. They'll get older, then they'll move on and try to get into another gang. Like if they're a non traditional blood set, like money gang, they'll try to go. Once they get older, they went away from that little clique. Or maybe several of them have died off and the gang has died off. They'll go, maybe they have a homie that's with Eastside mob Piru or Sex, Money murder. Those are traditional gangs. So money gang is a blood set. A non traditional blood set. But once they kind of age out, maybe they don't want to be a part of this clique anymore.

Sean Ryan (212:01)

What do you mean, a blood set?

Blake Cook (212:02)

So you have Bloods and crips, Right? That's just who you are. And then there's different sets. Like a set is sex, money, murder. That is a blood set. They're bloods. But then you have Eastside mob Piru.

Sean Ryan (212:17)

So what is this shit, like the ufc? Feeder things?

Blake Cook (212:20)

Dude, it's.

Sean Ryan (212:20)

Is that what it's like?

Blake Cook (212:21)

Very organized.

Sean Ryan (212:22)

You're in the JV and now you're in the varsity pretty much. You're in the do they have, they have minor leagues.

Blake Cook (212:28)

They have rules. Rules, baubles.

Sean Ryan (212:30)

No, they have.

Blake Cook (212:31)

It's, it's.

Sean Ryan (212:32)

What kind of rules?

Blake Cook (212:33)

Like, like you got to be beat in for a certain amount of like eight trey. Crips. Like they have to be beat in for 83 seconds for eight. Three, right, eight trey. Three is trey. So you have to be beat into the gang. Or if you're a chick, you can be raped into the gang.

Sean Ryan (212:53)

You can be raped into.

Blake Cook (212:54)

Raped into the gang.

Sean Ryan (212:55)

Women choose to be raped into a gang?

Blake Cook (212:58)

Yes.

Sean Ryan (213:01)

Why? What do they get out of that?

Blake Cook (213:04)

They're obviously missing something at home. They want to be a part of that gang.

Sean Ryan (213:08)

Like, what does that entail?

Blake Cook (213:10)

So like, man, who's the.

Sean Ryan (213:13)

What, do they gotta fuck somebody or they.

Blake Cook (213:15)

Oh yeah, they get raped by like multiple gang members.

Sean Ryan (213:18)

But is it rape?

Blake Cook (213:20)

Pretty much, yeah.

Sean Ryan (213:21)

I mean, it's like being her ass.

Blake Cook (213:22)

And they're, they're her. It's not like we're all just gang banging you. They're like forcefully like raping her. Like maybe she. Because she's not. Like maybe she don't want to be a part of it. Right. Maybe she might like change her mind. But once you commit to it, you've committed to it, there's no backing out. Yeah, it's sex. But then if they don't want to and they try to back out, there is no backing out.

Sean Ryan (213:45)

So what's their role once they're in the gang? Once they've been raped into the gang, like their blood.

Blake Cook (213:50)

They're blood. It.

Sean Ryan (213:51)

What does that.

Blake Cook (213:52)

I mean, just the female that hangs.

Sean Ryan (213:54)

Are they actual gang members?

Blake Cook (213:56)

They're gang members. They get to just hang out with a gang. They don't really do anything. They just hang out with the gang. It's. I'll show you some videos, but it's.

Sean Ryan (214:07)

That's all right.

Blake Cook (214:08)

It's. No, not, not of getting gang banged in. But. But I mean, it's just gangs are very interesting. So if I go see, you know, you have to be Hispanic or black to be a blood. You can't be white. Any white guy that ever says they're a blood, they're a complete liar. So in this day and age, if I see maybe a young 13, 14 year old African American kid and he's wearing Chicago Bulls and he can't tell me anybody on their current team. That's a validation point to be a blood. So I have to get three validation points to validate you on a sheet that gets submitted in to state that you're a Gang member. But if you tell me you're a Blood or a Crip, I just need one other validation point. But a validation point is a lot of. You see a lot of blood members wear Chicago Bulls.

Sean Ryan (215:02)

Why?

Blake Cook (215:02)

Because bull stands for blood. Bloods usually live longer and stronger. You see a lot of eight tray crips, 83 crips. They wear the Texas Ranger hats. The hats are blue, and there's a T on it. T stands for trey. Eight tray. You see, like. You ever seen the tattoos that say mob? And they're like, ah, money over bitches. Member of Blood. You see a lot of tattoos that are rr. That stands for real, right. That means you've done something for the gang. You've done something maybe violent for the gang. There's, you know, the five pointed stars, six pointed stars. You ever see anybody with a star David on them? You know, they're against your disciple. It's just so much. Bloods operate on the right side. So if they're flying a flag, which is a bandana, they're on the. Everything should be on the right side. If they're a Crip, everything's on the left side. Now a lot of the younger kids will. Instead of carrying flags, they wear, like, red shoes or blue shoes. Vans is. Is highly popular.

Sean Ryan (216:05)

Are those. Are these the two biggest gangs in.

Blake Cook (216:07)

The country, Bloods and Crips? Yeah. You know, that's what you. Because of this day. Yeah. Snoop Dogg, Crip, you know, Lil Wayne, you can watch. There's a music video with him and Bruno Mars. This mirror on the wall, whatever the mirrors or whatever. If you actually watch the music video, Lil Wayne pays tons of respect to the Bloods. He shows all of his blood tattoos, mob, rr, five pointed stars, everything. A lot of them will even have, like, red dreads. So there's another set of Bloods called Sex Money Murder. They are a blood set, but they were founded by a guy in, like, the 60s, Pistol Pete. They don't do this. This is blood. Right? They hold this up. This is blood. You'll never see Crips operate on the. On the right side. Crips will always operate over here. So they're a blood set. But they show they'll throw up two pistols to pay respect to Pistol Pete. And they operate off the color green because Pete loved money. Have you ever known Chicago Bulls to ever wear green?

Sean Ryan (217:19)

No.

Blake Cook (217:19)

No. So why do they sell green jerseys and green hats?

Sean Ryan (217:23)

No shit.

Blake Cook (217:24)

It's because they sell to the gang. They make a ton of money off of it. No, man. It's Bloods will never eat at Burger King because BK stands for Blood Killer. Like it's a whole, whole bunch of rules that you would never even think of.

Sean Ryan (217:47)

Are these guys always. Are these two gangs always co located with each other or they have specific territories?

Blake Cook (217:52)

They have territories, neighborhoods, you know, within the city. Within the city.

Sean Ryan (217:56)

So they'll be both gangs within the same city?

Blake Cook (217:59)

Oh, yeah, there's. Then you have non traditional gangs who have no authority or discipline because there's a bunch of kids that want to make their presence known. They might attack a traditional Blood set. Doesn't make any sense. The non traditional gangs, Sean, scare me to death.

Sean Ryan (218:20)

Why more than the traditional?

Blake Cook (218:22)

Because they're undisciplined. They're not answering anybody.

Sean Ryan (218:24)

They don't have rules.

Blake Cook (218:25)

They have no rules. They're not scared of us. Because why? Because they're 15 and 16. I can't do nothing with them. 16 or 15? 14 and 15. I can't do nothing with Them. 16, you're mine. But I can't do nothing with you at 15 or below, man. Like they are. It just. So I watched this first video. My friend, one of my really good friends named Dave Franklin, huge mentor at the police department. He was in what was called GGVU at the time was called the Gang Gun Violence Unit. So he came in and taught a gang class while we were in belit. That was one of the classes. And I watched his video. It's called Gunweight and it's a non traditional gang, the Money Gang. And they're just in this shitty trailer holding up guns, talking about the gun weight. Three of those kids in that video are dead from gang violence. Two of them are in prison and the leader is in and out of prison. It's just. Man, it's just so fascinating to me. I used to listen to the music, all the rap music, just listening to terminology, how they talk, how they operate. Just there's so many different things like, like Bloods will. They'll make a sound. You hear a lot like Lil Wayne's music videos. If they're in a large crowd full of other Blood gang members, that's signaling to them that 12 is around because it sounds like police sirens. So it's just so fascinating. And a lot of chicks really got into the. To the gangs because of Cardi B. Cardi B's a Blood. She used to have blood blood dreads and she had the whole nine yards. She was a straight gangster. She had a whole music video where there was like, she's the OG Back before she got super famous.

Sean Ryan (220:41)

Wow.

Blake Cook (220:41)

Oh, it's so cardi B is a blood. Little Wayne's a blood. The song Red Nation that, like, it talks about it, pays respects. Even, like, Ocho Cinco's like, it gives him a shout out. Doesn't mean he's a Blood, but means he's affiliate. It's so interesting, man. Like, I used to be obsessed with watching because I knew this is what I wanted to do.

Sean Ryan (221:08)

How many gangs are in Fayetteville?

Blake Cook (221:10)

Oh, man, a lot.

Sean Ryan (221:13)

Like, 20.

Blake Cook (221:15)

More than 20. 50, man. Probably 30. 40.

Sean Ryan (221:19)

30. 40 gangs?

Blake Cook (221:21)

Yeah.

Sean Ryan (221:22)

Are they all rivals?

Blake Cook (221:24)

I don't think that they get along. I think Bloods try to hang out with Bloods and Crips trying to hang out with Crips and.

Sean Ryan (221:29)

I mean, 40 gangs in a town of. Did you say 300,000?

Blake Cook (221:34)

300,000.

Sean Ryan (221:35)

That's not a huge town.

Blake Cook (221:38)

No.

Sean Ryan (221:38)

Where do 40 gangs everywhere go without running into each other?

Blake Cook (221:42)

They're everywhere. They're everywhere.

Sean Ryan (221:46)

Like, are any of them friendly? Do the MCs get along with the Bloods or the Crips?

Blake Cook (221:52)

They don't even really mess with them. The MCs don't get into that. They have their own rival.

Sean Ryan (222:01)

I mean, you've got cartels. You've got the Bloods and the Crips.

Blake Cook (222:06)

Gangster Disciples, Latin Kings.

Sean Ryan (222:09)

You got all this shit in one area.

Blake Cook (222:11)

Oh, yeah, we got Crips, Bloods, Latin Kings, Gangster Disciples, Folk Nation, Hell's Angels, and, like, four or five other motorcycle gangs. But all of those.

Sean Ryan (222:27)

How do you categorize them?

Blake Cook (222:29)

Research. We. A lot of them will admit. A lot of them will see on their Facebook page hand signals, tattoos.

Sean Ryan (222:37)

How do they not step on each other in a town of 300,000 people?

Blake Cook (222:41)

They do. They'll never admit it, but, I mean.

Sean Ryan (222:43)

What do they do? Prostitution, run drugs.

Blake Cook (222:47)

A lot of it is running drugs.

Sean Ryan (222:48)

Run. Run guns.

Blake Cook (222:50)

Run guns and run drugs and just be. They're just outlaws. They just. They have. They just shoot each other. Like, nobody fights anymore. It's just shooting the money. Gang, they had a. I forgot his. I forgot that they brought in a boy from Charlotte. Man, he. He. He sucked. I can't remember his name, but he has been arrested several times for sex trafficking. He was a big sex trafficker. God, I can't even remember his name. On YouTube, they have all these videos out there, man. Like, there's one gang in Fayetteville called LaRue Gang. We completely dismantled them. They made a video that said, fuck the police. Shoot anything blue holding rifles Convicted felons and this idiot at a surplus store sold all of it to them for a music video plate. Carriers then gave them patches to wear. They were raided by Homeland Security. Had stolen secret radios, had 22 OPS Corps maritime helmets that belong to SEAL Team 6. What, 22 of those?

Sean Ryan (224:12)

How'd they get them?

Blake Cook (224:13)

Supply guys bring them there and sell them to him.

Sean Ryan (224:16)

No shit.

Blake Cook (224:18)

He's gone. They raided him. I think he still has a store, but he's pending federal charges. Unless he snitched, which I'm sure he probably did. But that other gang is gone. Like, we dismantled them. They were two brothers, were the leaders. And Ecstasy or Xanax bars were their big things. We did a search warrant on their house, couldn't find anything in their house. Went out to their storage unit, started digging through boxes, big old heavy boxes. I'm like, what is in these? Open them up. Cereal boxes. I'm like, this is weird. Open up the cereal boxes. Bags. Cereal bags full of Xanax bars.

Sean Ryan (225:02)

Holy shit.

Blake Cook (225:03)

Probably thousands. I don't know. I think we got like 20, 30,000. Just thousands. I mean, they kind of keep. They all kind of keep to themselves until at some point they cross paths or they have beef. Social media beef is the worst. People get mouthy on social media, and then they go shoot houses up. Nobody fights anymore. It's shooting and killing. It's. Man, Fayetteville's wild. Sean, is it really when the sun goes down? It is. You get, like, a very eerie feeling because that's when all the goons come out. They all come out to play. And it is like any car you stop, you might be in a. You might be in a gunfight. Because they don't respect law enforcement enforcement, especially after the past administrators, chiefs and stuff that we've had. Yeah, like, they just don't respect it. And, man, it's a. It's very, very interesting just how they operate, because we'll find their Bibles and we'll study them, and, you know, a lot of them can't stay off social media, right? A lot of them will always be on social media throwing up gang signs. So we'll go find them, we'll do investigative stops on them. Find guns. Man, the year that we got, gang leader of the year, man, we got, I don't know, like, four or five hundred guns that year. Just guns everywhere. And it's. A lot of it is because soldiers leave their cars in their apartment complexes unlocked with guns in them. And these kids, these gang members go around pulling. Pulling car handles and then, man, they get 20, 30 guns a night. And then the soldiers threw his gun box away and doesn't even know his serial number. So he can't sometimes can't even charge him with stolen firearm because they don't have the serial number. And they'll tell them, hey, when you get it, call it in so we can put it in the system. And they never do. It's. Man, I've had some close calls in that city. That city never sleeps. We've had broad daylight shootings. Wendy's parking lot, 1:00 in the afternoon. Three people dead in a parking spot. It's crazy.

Sean Ryan (227:19)

Damn.

Blake Cook (227:20)

I mean, I pulled up to that scene and they're like, oh, the car left and I didn't see it. And I saw three bodies. I get out, it's three young black African Americans dead over drug deal. Just broad daylight. Had one guy, another one. Broad daylight, smokey bones outside Cross Creek Mall. He was shot five times with a judge with a.410 shell. I didn't know he was black or white until I felt his dreads. I was plugging bullet holes.

Sean Ryan (227:54)

Damn.

Blake Cook (227:54)

He survived, but I didn't know.

Sean Ryan (227:56)

He survived.

Blake Cook (227:57)

Yeah, I couldn't tell his skin color because he was covered in red, he was so bloody. He survived. He's paralyzed, but he survived. It is. It is wild. It was a wild ride, man. There's nowhere else I'd rather have been a cop, though, than that city. That city gave me every opportunity to do everything I wanted. It was a fun place to work. True.

Sean Ryan (228:22)

Sounds like it. Yeah.

Blake Cook (228:23)

If you want to be a cop, man, I mean, maybe not in today's time, maybe not now because you got proactive versus reactive. And now so many cops are. Want to be reactive.

Sean Ryan (228:35)

You got through the academy, you went on patrol. How long did it take you to get into the gang stuff?

Blake Cook (228:42)

Oh, man, about three years.

Sean Ryan (228:49)

Three years.

Blake Cook (228:50)

It's a spot. Nobody wanted to leave the gang unit. Yeah, nobody. Nobody wants to leave that unit.

Sean Ryan (228:56)

Everybody wants to be in the bank in the.

Blake Cook (228:58)

Everybody wants to be in the gang unit. Why? It's fun. You're like cowboys.

Sean Ryan (229:04)

No.

Blake Cook (229:04)

Yeah. You're not like the narcs, where you, you know, the narcs couldn't show their faces. And, you know, we wear plain clothes. I made my hair down and past my shoulders. A beard down to here. Just out there getting after it, man. Fucking fighting crime. You know, there were times where we. Where we weren't seen at all. And then there were times where we would go out at nighttime and just go to work. Didn't take calls, did what we wanted, and we made a difference. You want to make a difference in your city and stop crime, you go get you about seven good dudes who want to fight crime. Tell him good luck and give him a good supervisor.

Sean Ryan (229:49)

How would you do that today? Is it even possible?

Blake Cook (229:52)

It is possible. It is very possible. We have to figure out. The problem is, we have to figure out how do we keep good young cops from leaving to go do another job. Shitty cops are staying in and getting promoted.

Sean Ryan (230:06)

Well, how do you think that happens? How do you get good young cops to stay in the force with the shit leadership that we see today?

Blake Cook (230:15)

I think that the good. Because there is good leadership out there.

Sean Ryan (230:19)

Where, other than here?

Blake Cook (230:22)

I think in a lot of agencies, there are good leadership that have made it to an executive level, but they're too afraid to speak out because they're outnumbered. I think those people have to have backbone. I think we have to figure out that this person is a shitty leader and they need to be demoted. You know, if you have officers like when I left, when I medically retired, 108 left.

Sean Ryan (230:49)

Let's talk about your career. I mean, when we spoke on the phone for the first time, you had a lot of frustrations.

Blake Cook (230:58)

Yeah, a lot of frustration. So my first call ever, day one, I am. I got pinned the day before, and now I've reported to my duty. I get with my FTO and we're going over all the things. 7:30 in the morning, my first call. Call comes out, missing kid. Cool. It's a great one to go to. It's a great one to learn from right off the gate. Missing kids, they come up all the time. So a lot of them are runaways. A lot of them are just hiding in closets, don't want to go to school. Parents just can't find them. Whatever. They're not actually missing. They're just running away. So we get there and the mother is just. She's really, like, distressed. I don't know what she's supposed to look like. It's my first call ever. She's like, I can't find my son. I don't know where he's at. I've searched the whole house. I just haven't looked in the basement. They were like, well, has he ever had any behavior of running away? No, he just doesn't like going to school. Like, all right, man, we'll search the house again. Searched the whole house. Nothing. Opened up the basement door, started walking down the Steps. I see two little bare feet, maybe about a foot, foot and a half off the ground. And I'm like, wow, I don't even know what this is. I get all the way down to the basement. My FTO is behind me. He took an extension cord, tied it to a water pipe, multiple pipes, and hung himself. So we're sitting there and I'm day one man, first call. My FTO was such a coward. He said, hey, you need to go up and tell that mother that her son is deceased. And we found him. Why don't you go do that? I'm in training. This is my first day. I'm not even supposed to do nothing. I'm just watching you. No, no, you need to go do that. I'm telling you to go do it. All right, roger that. So I go up there. She's standing in the kitchen, she leaned up against the counter. And I'm like, hey, ma'am, I'm sorry to tell you, but your son is in the basement and he's no longer alive. She let out a scream, Sean, that I still hear every night. I watched her open her mouth and scream. And when she opened her mouth and screamed, I watched her soul leave her body. And I go back downstairs, she's screaming. Finally her sister gets there, she's comforting her. I'm holding the kids legs. FTO cuts the extension cord off. He had like one of the serrated knives and cut him down. We laid him on the ground, did all the things. Call the detectives. Next rotation came. Next rotation is kind of like towing, like for tow trucks. If we need a tow truck, it's a Nexon rotation. But we have a morgue service, so they're in a rotation. So next rotation means whoever the morgue service is up to come get the body that comes. We holler for next call for next rotation for morgue. They come to and they get the body and you know, we go throwing out the day. Like the next call man was after that. The next call was some old lady complaining and she was mad that the neighbor's cat was on her car. Really realistically, she was lonely, just wanted somebody to have coffee with at 9 o'clock in the morning. So you go from, go from a dead 12 year old cutting a dead.

Sean Ryan (235:04)

12 year old who hung himself to.

Blake Cook (235:06)

An 80 year old lady. He wants to file a complaint or write. She wants a police report for her neighbor's cat that's on her car causing damage. And I have to be able to give her every bit of me that I can. Because she's. She's calling me. She's calling me for a service in my job. I can't go there and just give her half ass. I have to switch off what just happened. That what I just went through doesn't matter anymore. That's done. Kick it out.

Sean Ryan (235:39)

How do you do that?

Blake Cook (235:41)

Try not to think about it. Focus on.

Sean Ryan (235:44)

Man.

Blake Cook (235:45)

The queue is so busy. The queue and the calls, bro, they're just stacked. There'll be 15, 20 calls pending. They all go by priority. You don't have time to think about what you just went through because the next thing that you're going to go through might be just as bad. The next call might be your life. Can't think about that. You can't dwell on that kid. That's horrible. But how do I know the next call is me not dealing with somebody that's going to try to kill me? I have to be mentally sharp to deal with the next call. Once you get in your car and that call's over, put your head on the steering wheel, let out a big old nice scream and push on. Because guess what the next call is. Somebody else is having their very worst moment of their life that you are responding to. Every call is somebody's worst moment of their life. And every call, you should treat it as if it's your first call of the day. Because they deserve that. They're calling you at their worst time. I never got a phone call for somebody to come tell me I was doing a great job or somebody to cook me food or pat me on the back. Every call for 10 hours is somebody's worst moment. Somebody's dead. Somebody's about to kill themselves. A robbery, a murder. Mental patient standing in his garage naked with a butcher knife to granny, wanting to have a cup of coffee. It's insane. And there's no. There is no shutting it off. I still think about all of it. There are cops that have been way through more than me. I don't know. All I did was the next call could be life ending for me. So I need to be switched on. That call no longer exists. It goes away. It's just a report number. But then you deal with it and you get home by drinking or lashing out at your family. And then you wake up the next day and you go to work and you treat people at work better than you treated your family. Because you can't show up to work angry. You can't lash out at people at work. They'll put you on administrative leave and take Your gun make you go get help, can't shut it off. Fake a smile every day. And you give people the best version of yourself because they need you in that moment. Whether it might not be a big event to you, it might be stupid to you. You might think this is a stupid call, but, man, they're on. They call 911, police because they're having such a bad moment. They need you at your best. Forget about the next call. It's time to move on. This is what I always got told. So at the end of that shift, I walked in and my sergeant sitting there with his legs up, shoes off, said, cook, how was it? My God, it sucked. First call of the day, kid hung himself. It's a lot. Starts laughing. He's like, suck it up. Welcome to being a cop. I was like, what? What? And then it just. For the next, you know, two and a half years, it was a ride, man. Every day. Like, bro, if you're not checked in, when you check in for service, if you're not mentally checked in, you could die. You could die. There were times where, because, let's say you're being proactive, you know, it's a scary feeling walking up to a car that you just pulled over, especially if you can't see inside of it. You know, A lot of people ask, why do cops touch the back of the car for DNA for. If we're shot and killed right then, right there, our fingerprints are on the back of that car. So when they find it, they can for sure say, that is the vehicle. There's Cook's fingerprints. It's scary.

Sean Ryan (239:50)

Oh, shit. I didn't know that, man.

Blake Cook (239:52)

Every traffic stop that I walked up to that I couldn't see into the car or my spidey senses kicked in, man. People. People ask, you know, why are cops so aggressive when they get up to the car? Because when they touch the back of your car from the front of their windshield, do you know what they're thinking about? Am I about to take rounds through the windshield? Am I about to get shot? When the window comes down and it's old Miss Betty and she's all nice and sweet, it's a good feeling. Now, she can still kill you, right? You still gotta be elevated a little bit. But it's a good feeling because every car I ever approached, I just waited for rounds to come through the windshield.

Sean Ryan (240:35)

Have you had browns come through the windshield?

Blake Cook (240:38)

I've never. Luckily, I've never seen a lot of videos where it has happened. That just never happened to me. And I had a OG gang member in Bonny Doon tell me one time he say, man, you know, I see a lot of people in the neighborhood treat you different. He's like, you ever wonder why? I'm like, I don't know, man, because you present yourself well. Your uniform is obviously tailored to your body. You're fit. Your hair looks good. Your belt looks good. Everything about you says, I don't wanna fuck with you. I can't run from you. I can't fight you. You're gonna kill me, but I'll run from him. Cause he's fat and sloppy. That's a big deterrent. My uniform was fresh every day. I had three uniforms. I wore the same uniform. Day one, I wore my first uniform. And then I would wear that again on my fourth day. But day one, two and three, I always had fresh uniforms. On my day off, the first thing I did is I took them to one of the shops and had them press. They were all tailored to my body because I wanted to present myself as, if you fuck with me, I'm gonna kill you. If you try to kill me, I'm going to kill you. You're not going to kill me today. I'm the wrong one. I'm going to do everything lawful. I'm going to do everything I can as a professional to keep you alive during our interaction. But the moment you try to take me off this earth, buddy, I'm coming. Then it ain't going to end well for you. I'll give you the utmost respect. Everybody I encountered, I treat it as if it was my mother, my father, my brother and my sister. I treated him as a family member and as a United States American citizen, because they deserve that. Now, the moment you cross that line, then we're going, we're doing it, Whatever you want to do. But you better be ready, because I'm ready. And I try to harp that to law enforcement to, hey, man, like, use this as a motivation. Get in shape, go to the gym and quit eating bad on duty. Like, be presentable. That will keep you alive if bad guys. Right. I heard you asked Sheriff Mark Lamb. Yeah, Sheriff Mark Lamb. Love that dude. What's a good, you know, way to prevent people from, you know, entering in your home and, you know, things like that. You know, security cameras, anything that bad guys will not. You'll never become a victim. If they feel like that, there will be any resistance. They only pick easy targets, man. Wolves don't attack other wolves. They attack sheep. They kill animals that can't Protect themselves. Single, right? If it's a single wolf, they're not going to try to kill a grizzly by themselves. They know they're going to lose, so they'd just rather go get the sheep. I wanted to present myself as if you mess with me, you're getting all of me and it's not going to end well. And that's how people, if they just put just ADT stickers on glass, that's a deterrent, floodlights anything that they feel like they're going to get caught at all, they won't mess with it. It's only easy targets they prey on. Same with law enforcement. Yeah, you have a gun. If you look like a badass, you probably can't shoot it. So they're going to test you. I never got tested. I got tested. Take that back. I've been tested twice. One dude was like 6, 6, 280, brother. I just held on. That was it. That's all you could do? Slam me up against my hood of my car. And I just, I just maintained control much as I could, until somebody else came and helped me. But very few times I've been tested and it's because every day at work there was nothing on me that looked ragged.

Sean Ryan (244:38)

Let's talk about that scenario. How did that start?

Blake Cook (244:40)

Traffic stop. Dude had. Dude had outstanding robbery warrant. Pulled him over outside the hospital. Caper Valley Road. Soon as we stop, car door opens, I get out, he takes off running. He is on me before I know it. I'm. I'm fighting him, he's fighting me. Dude's picking me up like a rag doll, throwing me on. Threw me on the hood of the car and I'm just holding on. Finally we make it on the ground. I don't have a lot of jujitsu knowledge at all, but I did mess around with it, so. So I do, I do. I did know like some control techniques to try to control him, especially keeping him off my gun. That was my biggest worry was my gun. He actually got hands on my gun. But I had my level three Safari land holster that had the hood. And he didn't know how to operate, work that. He knew the button, but he couldn't get my hood. So that holster saved my life. Always have your hood up. You see a lot of officers, they put the hood down to get shots off faster. Just go train. That's it. Because that saved my life. Then luckily, my zone partner, BJ Bullard showed up and just came up from behind and just one good hit, boy went down and that was it. End of the fight. Because now it's two on one. His chances are over. He felt a little resistance, a little. I can't compete against two. And he gave up. You know, it's because BJ was a proactive. He was a proactive. He wasn't the first to always initiate, but he would always back you up. He was a good country boy, and he went to the academy with me. So, you know, it's. It's. I've seen videos where cops just stand there and watch their. Their buddies get beat up. I don't know how you do that, because if BJ would have watched me get beat up that day, yeah, we would. Had to have shot that dude. And then what would that have been? Yeah, I shot an unarmed black man. And that always goes through your head. Especially after the boy in Louisiana. I think that they killed. That Darren Wilson got killed. Just started all this years ago, like 2014.

Sean Ryan (247:18)

What happened there?

Blake Cook (247:20)

Remember he, like, robbed the gas station and the officer got out with him and they got into a tussle and he shot and killed him inside the vehicle or something. It was a Mike Brown. Remember Mike Brown?

Sean Ryan (247:28)

St. Louis.

Blake Cook (247:29)

Yeah, St. Louis.

Sean Ryan (247:30)

Yeah.

Blake Cook (247:30)

Yeah. So Mike Brown. I used to live there after that. Like, man, like, I'm white. It sucks. You know, if I should. Unarmed black dude, because guess what, man, These can kill you. If you're 6, 6, 290, I'm 510, 215. Would a reasonable person believe that if you got the best of me, you could take my gun out and kill me? Yeah. Now I'm shooting an armed dude. That's what the news is gonna put out. West Virginia boy shoots and kills an unarmed dude. Like, the news is awful. Yeah, and they're a major reason why cops are getting out too. By telling lies. Who are they gonna call? They never thought about that. These big cities never thought about that. Who y'all gonna call when these criminals go wild? Crime doesn't stop. But police officers will quit. Criminals won't quit. That's all they know. Why would I continue to get treated like shit for $43,000 a year?

Sean Ryan (248:40)

Did you get treated like shit? Let me rephrase that. Did your apartment. Did your department have your back?

Blake Cook (248:50)

No. Oh, man, no. Some did. Most didn't.

Sean Ryan (248:59)

What's the first incident you were in when you realized that?

Blake Cook (249:04)

So I had one supervisor named Kerry. Young man, phenomenal dude. He always had my back when I was on patrol. I mean, I tast like two or three people right out the gate. He had my back. There was one incident that there was a disturbance inside of a restaurant when I was on patrol during the day. Dude had made a comment right before we got there that he was going to go to his truck and get a gun. We show up, he's still in Texas Roadhouse or Logan's Roadhouse. We go inside, he's still in there. Him and this other family have went at it. He goes, I'm gonna kill you. I've already had two people tell me that said he was gonna go get a gun. So he runs out to his truck. I watch him run out the door. And so I run after, after him. He goes, opens up his door, gets in a posture as if he's grabbing something under the seat. I draw my gun. I give him commands. I got three days off for that. He had a gun. I was too aggressive. He had a gun. He had a gun under his seat. He just never presented it because he didn't present it. Why did I draw my gun? Why didn't I use de escalation skills? I don't know, bro. Because I didn't want to get shot first. How about that? That was when I realized, wow, things are bad.

Sean Ryan (250:38)

How early in your career was that?

Blake Cook (250:40)

Year and a half.

Sean Ryan (250:41)

That was a year and a half into your career. And you had how long of a career? 10 years? 12 years?

Blake Cook (250:47)

8.

Sean Ryan (250:48)

8 years.

Blake Cook (250:50)

And I had. I had one one time where I was fighting a guy. We'll get into that. But it was when I was in the gang unit. I mean, if you cussed on body camera in a high stress situation, you're getting 10 hours off, you're getting written up. So a lot of people don't know this. It's a nation. It's become a nationwide thing. If I point my gun at you, that is a use of force. I get written up for that. Might not cash days off, but let's say a year goes down the road. And I pulled my gun 50 times that year. Dude, I could pull my gun three times in a shift. We're dealing with people. I've had people jump out of a bed with swords serving involuntary commitment paperwork that their family couldn't deal with them anymore. So I have to go in and deal with them and put them in handcuffs and take them to the mental section at the hospital. I mean, I have almost. I had a guy who was shooting blow darts, so Fayetteville used to have a mental institution. They shut it down and just see y'all later. Thanks for. Thanks for staying. Send them all Back out in the wild. My first week, I had a call. A guy named Allen in his garage, butt naked, circle drawn in the garage with chalk. He's got a trash can in the middle of the garage. People were running by. I called and said he's blowing blow darts at him. So I'm like, oh, it's a mental patient. I get him in the. I'll. I'll get him. I'll convince him to go to the hospital. I'm gonna hit Chipotle after this. This is easy. I like these calls. As I'm coming around the corner, I hear dispatch. He's like, you know? Now he's in the garage with a knife, man. I hit the corner, dude. This dude standing there butt naked, this big, massive butcher knife. He's like, come in the dungeon, motherfucker. And I'm like, no, sir. I'm like, let's drop that. I mean, he's like, no, no, no. He's like, fuck you. Come in the dungeon. And finally my backup comes, like, seconds later. So now we're both lethal, right? Because we don't know what he's about to do. People don't understand. Tasers only work if you're in a distance. Like, if I shot you with a taser right here, it wouldn't work. I have to be, like, 7ft back to get the spread to split the hemisphere. One has to go in the upper torso, and the other one has to go in the body to get exactly what you need. If I shoot both here, that's why you still see people being able to reach it out. It doesn't do what it's supposed to do. That's why cops, they shoot tasers from feet away. It doesn't work. I was too far back from my taser, and I didn't want to get close enough to him. So it works, because if I get closer to him and he charges at me and then Regatt shoots him, what did I create? Why did you go up there to tase him? So we didn't have to shoot him. So we're out there 45 minutes, me and him, me and Regatt. This dude's coming in and out of his house. Finally get him to put the knife down in the middle of the garage, and he runs over and he crouches down behind, like a city trash can on wheels. We're like, what's he doing? He's, like, back and forth, using the trash can as, like, a barricade. And he's talking to Regatt. And then he Starts talking to me and Regatt yells at him. And he turns a little further. What he had, had, he had taped on the back of the trash can a little 10 inch blow dart gun. And he was putting darts in it as he was talking to us to shoot us with them. And when Regatt yelled at him and I saw him do that, I holstered, pulled my taser out upside down, shot it. One went in his head, the other one went in the wall. He turns around, tries to dive on the knife. I turn the taser off, turn it back on, initiates the second cartridge. I shoot it again. One misses, the other one hits him in the head. Done. He starts like seizuring out and everything. Hits his head, cuts his head wide open. He's bleeding everywhere. Get him in handcuffs. Later we found out that he, he, he had dirty blood and he was stabbing himself with the needles and was going to try to shoot people with him to give him his dirty blood.

Sean Ryan (255:19)

But he was also, holy shit, HIV positive.

Blake Cook (255:22)

Oh yeah, he was also.

Sean Ryan (255:24)

So he was trying to fucking give other people hiv.

Blake Cook (255:26)

It's crazy. He was, he was gone. So got him in handcuffs. He was found out. He had been drinking and he was on cocaine. But they were upset with me because he split his head wide open. I'm like, he's alive. What do you mean? And that was like a big ordeal.

Sean Ryan (255:50)

That was a big ordeal.

Blake Cook (255:51)

They're gonna sue us. I'm like, for what? You're welcome.

Sean Ryan (255:57)

So what? I mean, do they give you a suggestion like, okay, well what would.

Blake Cook (256:04)

There's no suggestion.

Sean Ryan (256:05)

What were you supposed to do?

Blake Cook (256:06)

They don't know the answer. The problem with agencies is shitty leadership. Shitty leadership because in their mind, we had this guy named James Nollett, man, he ended up being our assistant chief. He ran everybody away. He was horrible. Probably, in my opinion, maybe the worst human on the face of the earth. He was a horrible person. Not just a bad leader, but a horrible person, man. This dude would punish people because he thought by punishing people it made him a good leader and that he would get promoted. This dude made it all the way up to assistant chief. He's the reason why I left. I mean, officers are doing their job and they're getting written up for it. I ended up not caring about getting written up because I, at that point I'd applied and got my VA disability. You want to get, you want to give me a week off? I take a vacation and post it all over Facebook. I don't care, I'm getting paid. But imagine Some of these guys who are a father of three and a wife, they're making eleven hundred dollars a paycheck and they're getting talked about getting two days off. Why would you be proactive? So now I gotta feed a family of four on a $700 check? Cause you gave me two hours off or you gave me two days off. So why would you be proactive? Yeah, I can't blame them. We have to hold leadership accountable.

Sean Ryan (257:54)

I don't blame him either. I mean, I see this shit all over social and the news and, and people raiding the mall and people. I mean, now you go in, what, California, even everything, literally the entire store is behind those little key things we were in. And I just.

Blake Cook (258:13)

We were in California.

Sean Ryan (258:14)

I don't blame the cops at all. I blame the people that live there.

Blake Cook (258:17)

I need deodorant at Target.

Sean Ryan (258:18)

You wanted to defund them. You got what the fuck you asked for. Now you can live in this shit.

Blake Cook (258:23)

California is wild. I went to Target, get deodorant. How to find a sales associate to come and unlock a case so I can get a thing of deodorant. They're like, yeah, sorry, they steal everything. I'm like, that's crazy. But the problem is, is if they get a use of force with these people, they're going to get in trouble by the chain of command. Because the chain of command says, well, that's a hill that we don't want to die on. You know, just let them take it. We'll take the report. That's not right. That's not right. It's not right to the people that own that store.

Sean Ryan (259:01)

Do you think this shit's gonna change?

Blake Cook (259:07)

The only way it can change, in my opinion, is if Trump gets reelected or if Trump gets put back in office.

Sean Ryan (259:17)

Well, I'm with you on that. But even, even so, I mean, it's a.

Blake Cook (259:21)

It does. When he was in office, things changed. I don't know what happened, but there was a little bit of a span there where cops were being cops. Again, it's. I don't know what it was, but during the. I was a cop for two years during the Obama administration and it was different. We had a liberal chief, like, who, like, said that we were pulling over too many black people. That's another thing, Sean. I got in trouble. So anytime you do a traffic stop, you gotta do a traffic stop incident thing where you put in male, female, black, white. Did you search the car? What did you find? I used to get in trouble and have to go do racist Classes because I was pulling over too many black people. But my district was all African Americans. Like, so what did I do? Stopped stopping cars. I let known drug dealers drive past me because I'd already stopped too many black people. And it's piss leadership. It's because instead of having a backbone of being a man, they would rather throw you under the bus and make themselves look good. We discipline him. Don't worry. Instead of saying, hey, Blake is assigned to an area full of African Americans, he's probably going to have a higher traffic stop rating for those kind of people. Like, I have heard people say, go stop more white people. What does that even mean? Go violate somebody's right. Stop them because they're white now. That's the leadership mentality that we're having nationwide. It don't even make sense.

Sean Ryan (261:33)

How would you even. I mean, how would you begin to fix this? Serious question, man.

Blake Cook (261:43)

I don't know, Sean, I really don't. Because, like, it's gotta be.

Sean Ryan (261:52)

On every single person's mind who wears a badge. Every single one of them has to know about this shit.

Blake Cook (262:03)

Oh, they do. I've had so many people ask me if I can be their voice. Please put this out. Hey, this happened. Do this. Hey, like, can you put this out on your social. Like, they can't go vocal about it, right? Because they're going to be punished. They're terrified. It's the good leaders have to somehow get a backbone.

Sean Ryan (262:31)

If they don't have a backbone, then they're not a good leader.

Blake Cook (262:33)

That's true, man. You're right. So, yeah, we have very few good leaders in.

Sean Ryan (262:39)

I mean, I don't give a shit where they came from, what the fuck they did. If you get up there and you don't have a backbone, you're a piece of shit. And that's I agree. Seen it in the military too. These guys that have these phenomenal careers and then they get up top and they turn into a complete piece of shit.

Blake Cook (263:00)

They're just chasing money. They're chasing. Now they're on a salary and they're trying to max out their time so now they can get promoted and then max out that time and get promoted so their retirement looks good. So they make more money in retirement and it's. It's so much easier to write us up than stick up for us. So like when I was in the gang unit, we were the. We were the easy button. We were the button that for an example, female, brand new female officer out in an area called Bonnie Doon. She Was doing real police work. She had a good sergeant. They were letting her do good police work. She was disrupting this non traditional gang's operation. They started getting tired of her. She did a traffic stop one time, pulled over. A kid had a gun in the car. Gun was in the passenger seat. She arrested him. He was a convicted felon. She knew that all the people out of this little apartment complex came out and swarmed her. Somebody ended up taking the gun out the seat, told her they were going to kill her. So they said, hey, there's a female cop that is being. Her life's being threatened. We need to go out and make our presence known. Coming from the top. Who's this coming from? Coming from the top. Cool, I'll stop what I'm doing. We went out there, drove around the complex. I'm like, cool, I need to stop a car here. So I waited till I saw a traffic violation, Saw a traffic violation, lit them up, happened to be right in front of the apartment complex. As I get out the car, man, 30, 40 people were coming out. I'm like, oh, no. I'm like, hey, we don't look like the regular fucking police. We don't act like it. Get your asses back inside or you can get some of this too. They're like, cook. I was like, yeah. So this is the gang unit. They call us like Charger Boys. That was a name that carried on from when they were ggvu. Everybody was scared of the Charger Boys and we gave a head nod and went back inside. Problem solved. The Uber driver. It was an Uber driver that we stopped. Black kid said that I called people coming out of the apartment complex the N word, called and complained. So an investigation happened. I had my body camera on 24 7. I will say whatever. I will say whatever with my camera or with my camera off. Whatever I say with it off, I'll say with it on. I don't change. It's just who I am. I said, go ahead and review it went in, set it in. It uploaded, didn't happen. But we had a major at the time named Major Whitaker. He was racist. He was a black dude. He was racist. He hated white police officers. In my opinion, just my opinion, he was not proactive. He was a horrible cop throughout his career. And he didn't like the way I talked to people in that neighborhood. He thought I was talking to him like that because they were black. So they called me in the office, in his office, like, hey, we refused this footage. Major Whitaker wants to have a Conversation with you. I'm like, dude, okay, I cussed. Sorry. Like, when you're in those environments, you speak their language. You don't tell them, please, get inside. They don't understand that. They didn't grow up with that verbiage. Hey, get inside. Okay, cool. Sorry. It's not. It's not regular police. We're going back inside. So I get in there, and they're all in there, and he's like, talking about, well, we didn't like how you talk to people in that neighborhood. You know, it's a. It's a minority neighborhood. You know, the times that we're living in, you could have been a little nicer. I'm like. I'm, like, looking over at my leadership like, does anybody want to tell them why I was there? Do you even know why I was out there? A female cop is being threatened that they were going to kill her. I'm, like, looking at my leadership like, y'all want to. Y'all didn't tell him. Y'all didn't brief him on this, because in his mind, I'm out there just freelancing. The people that see me out there have everybody being quiet. Crickets, hands in the pockets. He's a cook. What would you have said if you were in Vansorie's Hill van? Story was a really nice neighborhood in Fayetteville, and a group of four or five white women came out drinking wine, and you were on a traffic stop? What would you tell them? Again, I'm looking at my leadership like, this dude's trying to bait me in on a race question. They're looking at me. I'm like. I tell them, get the fuck back inside. We ain't the regular police. Nothing changes. Don't make this a race thing. And my leadership, like, they're like, oh. I'm like, don't. How about you be a man and say you sent us out there? The people that came in and told us to go out there didn't say a word.

Sean Ryan (268:46)

No shit.

Blake Cook (268:47)

Nobody spoke up and said, hey, we sent him out there because X, Y, and Z.

Sean Ryan (268:53)

Cause they were threatening to kill a female officer.

Blake Cook (268:55)

Female police officer. Nobody said a word.

Sean Ryan (269:01)

Why?

Blake Cook (269:02)

Because they're cowards. Because they don't want to take the responsibility that they sent us out there because it looks bad on them and everybody's trying to get promoted.

Sean Ryan (269:11)

How the fuck does it look bad if they sent you out there? Because they're about to have.

Blake Cook (269:15)

Cause they don't want to take responsibility.

Sean Ryan (269:17)

Because a female officer was about to get murdered.

Blake Cook (269:19)

They don't want to take responsibility. Nobody wants to take accountability of sending people out to do things when it comes down to it. Now, when it's good, if it's good, it's good. Hey, if we send them out there, that was on me. Monday morning, we do the crime stats come out, right? Oh, it's lower. Yep. I sent the guys out there. We took care of that. But when shit hits the fan, you're on your own. And when the waiter brings the bill to pay, ain't nobody else paying it but you. Everybody else done walked out. That's the major issue that we have. And I had that happen to me so many times that it just became normal.

Sean Ryan (269:58)

Is that why you left?

Blake Cook (270:02)

I left. I left because they had us out in an area. It was a predominant gang area, drug area. And I watched a car go by, and I realized that the driver was a guy that I had dealt with before, named Joshua Hill, Known to have guns, known to sell guns, known to be a big dope boy. Not just little street stuff, you know, kilos of fentanyl, kilos of cocaine. He was. He was. He was this beautiful charger, man. This chrome paint job, big rims. So I get behind him, and he takes off. I'll take off with him. No lights, no sirens. Take off with him. Finally turn my blue license irons on. He goes faster. So I'm like, okay, I'm gonna turn my blue light sirens off. I'm still following you, brother. And then he realizes he can't shake me. We didn't go far. Maybe 200 yards. He pulls over. So I throw my car in park. I'm like, all right. He's not jumping out. Nothing's going on. Took a deep breath, and I was like, treat it like a regular traffic stop. Don't act like it just almost turned into something. So I go up to the car, rolls his window down, man. I see the bag. His car artery is just thumping. He's sweating profusely, can't even talk, he's breathing so hard. I'm a. Hey, sir, I'm Detective Cook with the Fayetteville Police Department. The reason why I pulled you over is we have a new chief. You have really dark window tint, man. Window tints, the flavor of the month. I need drills. I'm gonna scratch off a warning ticket. And I'm hungry. I'm gonna go to Chipotle. Okay? We're gonna make this quick. So I'm like, all right, cool. Like, where's everybody at, you know? I didn't get enough time to put it out on the radio yet. Cause he kept. We kept playing the games. And I was trying to get it out, but I couldn't. Cause if he stopped too soon. So I get back in my car and put it out and a K9 officer shows up. And I was hoping for one of the gang guys, but the K9 came up, which was great because he's backing me up. Look up his history, man. It's just gun charges. He's going away for a while. I didn't see a gun. When I went back and watched my body camera, you can see it clear as day. Sitting right here. I just got focused on the bag, the dope. My attention went straight to the dope. I smell it. I know I'm gonna search the car. And I know what I need to find is in that bag. So I'm watching the bag. Don't even see a gun, don't even see the Glock. Now it's a black gun with black center dash, right? So we go up to the car. I'm like, hey, man, I'm gonna pull him out. It's like, all right. I'm like, hey, Mr. Hill, need you to step out of the vehicle. Before I walked back, I'd actually had him take his keys out and put them on the dash. Something I always did if I knew that I was gonna search a car. So because of this reason, when I walked back up and asked him to step out of the vehicle, he said no. Opened the door, he grabs the door, he shuts the door. Now he's trying to throw it in drive, but he doesn't know that his keys are on the dash. We had to turn the car off. And I made him put the keys on the dash. His OODA loop now is. His mind went to. I gotta get out of here. So I open up the door again. I dive in to get him. He reaches down, he goes to pull out a Glock. Glock hits the steering wheel. I grab a hold of the Glock. If you look right here on my hand, I have two scars. You see them? That's from his front sight post. Trying to rip it out of my hand, man. I'm hitting him with elbows. I'm hitting him with. I can't shoot him. I'm left handed. My gun's over here. I have a hold of his gun with my left hand pinned down, I'm hitting him. I start beating him over the head with it shatters nothing. He. He knows he's going to Jail forever, man. I'm like, I'm getting tired. The K9 officer's trying to get in, but he can't. And Which I wish he would have went around, but it was a pretty crazy incident, man. The passenger door opened. I can't say his name. Cause he does federal work, but most big, beautiful country boy ever. That was an honor. Gang unit opens up the door and just punches this dude, man. And we fall out, get him in handcuffs. No more issues after that. His gun had his sweat dripping off the handle. Took pictures and videos of everything. So cool. It's a useful force, right? Because he got hurt. I hit him a couple times. He got scraped up on the ground. People are outside filming, right? Because we're in a predominant minority neighborhood. And here we are pulling out this dude, roughing him up a little bit because he had a gun. So go back to the station and upload my body camera. I'm typing my report. Body camera uploads. I'm allowed to watch my body camera, to write my report accurately. So I'm writing my report, and I write it out, submit it in, everything's good, Come to work next morning. And I'd already, before I get to this, I'd already tried to leave Fayetteville once. And we'll get to that after this. So the next morning, the report comes out, or I get to the office and come to my desk, hey.

Sean Ryan (276:20)

They.

Blake Cook (276:20)

Need you in IA's office. I'm like, okay, yeah. I mean, did hit the dude, right? So I'm sure I need to sign Internal affairs paperwork saying that I'm being investigated. So I go in and I go to make a right into the sergeant's office. And like, no, no, no. You're in this room. What room? The room that has the camera with the red light on it right now. That means it's recorded. They're like, yeah. I'm like, oh, okay. It's kind of serious. So I get in there, they're talking. They're like, hey, on your body camera, you stated that you thought he had a gun. You never stated that he had a gun, but you wrote on your report that you observed the gun. We believe that you lied on your report. I'm like, well, hold on. First of all, I was fighting for my life. My OODA loop was all jacked up, and I was trying to yell that he had a gun, but I couldn't get past the initial traffic stop when I was like, man, he's gotta. I think he has a gun. He has to have a Gun. There has to be one in here. But my OODA loop was so messed up, I just kept yelling, I think he has a gun instead of gun. I made a mistake. Nothing unlawful about what I did. I watched my body camera. I wrote a good report. I stated in my report that I thought he had a gun until I observed a gun. But they were trying to twist it around because that assistant chief wanted me out of that unit. James Delet. So he was pressuring of why. I said I thought I had a gun and try to make it seem like I was lying. I got so emotional.

Sean Ryan (278:15)

The gun was in the body cam footage, correct?

Blake Cook (278:18)

Yes. And we had photos of the gun. The gun was put in evidence. The gun was taken with his DNA.

Sean Ryan (278:24)

Hands all sliced up.

Blake Cook (278:26)

I'm bleeding. The gun with his DNA on it is in evidence on body camera. And we took crime scene photos. What are you. What are y'all talking about? So they wanted to suspend me for.

Sean Ryan (278:49)

For what?

Blake Cook (278:50)

Cause it would have sounded bad on cnn.

Sean Ryan (278:53)

That's. That's the.

Blake Cook (278:54)

If I would have shot him, it would have sounded bad on cnn. And I was too aggressive.

Sean Ryan (278:58)

See, I don't. What the fuck do we even. Like. Why do. Why is there even a Fayetteville Police Department? What's the honest question? So there is question.

Blake Cook (279:06)

So, Chief Braden.

Sean Ryan (279:06)

What the fuck is the point?

Blake Cook (279:08)

So Chief Braden is there now. Chief Braden is the only one of the few that has a backbone. There are several others that he's promoted that have backbones, and they're making better choices. Chief Braden is a crime fighter. The dude still wears tactical pants. He's been on SWAT team his whole career. He took eight rounds on a search warrant. He is a. He is a crime fighter, and he's the police chief there. And he's doing the best he can, and he's promoting the right people. He's just now fighting city council. Why are we pulling over black people? Like, I don't know, maybe because their tags are dead. Why are we arresting more black people? Maybe because they're dealing drugs. I don't know. I just know that a crime is being committed and we are taking that person to jail no matter what the color is. So he has shaped the police department back. He's. The tac team is doing more search warrants now than ever. They are back to trying to be crime fighters. But he's just getting so much push now from city council has too much power. They have too much power because for them to be able to. What are the.

Sean Ryan (280:26)

Do the. How do the Citizens combat this kind of shit.

Blake Cook (280:30)

I don't know, man. I don't think enough give a shit, to be honest. I don't think they're aware. You're not aware if you don't attend the meetings and nobody attends those meetings.

Sean Ryan (280:43)

Well, I mean, they might be aware that their city is being overrun by gangs.

Blake Cook (280:49)

It's. But they put out. We don't have a gang problem. The city council does. We do have a gang problem. But I will say Sean Brayden is. Is doing a. I would. I would go back and work at the Fayetteville Police Department right now. I would. Under Chief Braden is the only person I would. Now, there are still some cowards in that leadership, but there are more people now with backbones that were on specialized units and were proactive police officers that are making a difference there now. The biggest problem they're facing now is trying to get city council to raise their pay. Why work at Fayetteville when you can go work at Kerry for 20,000 more dollars and it's a way nicer city. But chief fought for them and did get them a pay raise. So he's doing the things. There are still some police departments that have great leadership. They're just.

Sean Ryan (281:50)

I don't doubt that. And I'm not saying far and in between, but I'm saying with the other chief, what is the point of having a police department?

Blake Cook (282:02)

I don't know.

Sean Ryan (282:02)

What is the point?

Blake Cook (282:03)

The chief that I worked under, that was the assistant chief, James Millet, the main chief, her name is Gina Hawkins. She tricked us. She got hired and started buying our tac team everything. And then it was like she flipped a switch overnight. More people left because of her than anything. Dude. Her. Last year as a cop, she was at a bar, a gang bar on Owen Drive in Fayetteville, N.C. left with the mayor. Two minutes later, had a homicide. Her vehicle was in front of the building. She showed up two hours later, had a police officer come pick her up because they assumed that she was drunk. Showed up at the crime scene. One of the homicide detectives said, hey, Chief, I'm here to brief you. She said, hey, I'm here to get my car. She has sunglasses on and a wig. They said, we can't take her car. She moved him out the way, went and took her vehicle that was taped off in the middle of a crime scene and drove it off. The bar had cocaine in it. The bar was a. It was a homecoming weekend for Fayetteville State University, which is Fayetteville's. There's Two colleges, three colleges. Methodist, Fayetteville Community College, and then Fayetteville State University, which is an all black college. It was their homecoming. They had a massive party there with gang members. Apparently I wasn't there. There was drugs all over the bar that our police chief was at. They paid her $250,000. She claimed some racists, that she was mistreated because of her race. And then she went back down to Atlanta. Our city manager was only there because he got a DUI in a county that she worked in, and she got him out the dui and then he hired her. When he got hired in Fayetteville, she wasn't even in the running. He brought her back in the running. It's that kind of stuff that has gone unnoticed and why people are leaving. That's the shitty leadership I'm talking about. So after they told me that it would have sounded bad on cnn, I lost it. I was so mad.

Sean Ryan (284:27)

You were going to talk about something that happened a couple weeks prior.

Blake Cook (284:31)

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. So I was trying to leave Fville and this is the first time this has ever been heard. Other than my wife and a few other people, nobody at the department ever knew why I came back. I lied and said, the trooper, the guy decided not to go to the troopers. So I decided I had to leave Fayetteville because they were just. Man, it was just like one incident after another. Just horrible leadership. They were telling us to go do something. I'd point my gun and then I'd get written up. I'm like, I can't sustain here. I can't work here anymore. My mental health is damn near gone. And I'm drinking all the time. All night long, I'm drinking. So I applied for a police department where I live now called Riceville Beach. Went in for an interview and I answered like four questions. And they were like, hey, you're hired. Just don't do nothing stupid in between now and when you can move up here. I was like, oh, absolutely, man. The following weekend. Wait, that was on a Thursday? Yeah, the following weekend, Saturday. There's an island called Palm Tree Island. It's got a fake palm tree. You can go out, pull the boats up and swim. It's super fun. It was July 4th weekend. Went out to the island with some. With some friends. I was just drinking, man. I drank a whole fifth of Fireball just at that point. I'm drinking out of rage, just pure rage. Because they didn't want to face the reality that I have to still go back to work. And deal with bad leadership. It got to the point, Sean, where I didn't even want to go to work. I couldn't go to sleep because the anxiety was so bad about knowing that when I get to work tomorrow, somebody's going to task me with something, and then they're going to write me up for it if it doesn't go smooth. So, man, I drank this whole bottle back when my wife was drinking, too. She was drunk. And the people we came on the boat with left. Left. Left us on an island. Sure, there was a bunch of people. I was drunk. I didn't know anybody. So the island is a. It's in the Intracoastal Waterway, but It's. It's maybe 50 yards from the shoreline, but it's deep and it's a high boat area. So my wife said, hey, we're gonna swim. I'm like, yeah, we got another option. So we swam. I'm like, I'm a decent swimmer, but drunk. It's kind of hard, especially with the current, right? Low tide was coming in, so the current was pushing out, and I felt like I was drowning. We get all the way to the. To the. We make it across. We get to the dock. You know, I'm just a country boy from West Virginia, right? I don't know about all the barnacles and everything on the dock. So I grab a hold of the dock. Current's coming out. Current sweet. Takes my legs out and just slices my legs. I'm like, dang, so get out. And I look down. I'm just bleeding.

Sean Ryan (287:45)

Shit.

Blake Cook (287:46)

I'm just. My whole leg is covered in blood, and I'm like, oh, my God, we gotta get back to the house. Like, I'm not supposed to be out here acting a full. And now I'm standing on a dock with blood everywhere, and I'm. And I'm hammered shithouse, not hammered house. So we take off walking, and we're not familiar with the area, and we're drunk. Wife's like, hey, we got to go this way. I'm like, no, we have to go this way. This is the way to the house. She's like, no. So we get in this massive verbal argument on the side of the road. Cars everywhere. It's July 4th. I'm screaming. She's screaming. I'm like, fine, go that way. I'm going this way. She goes that way. I go this way, man. 45 seconds later, I hear it. I turn around, this dude drawing down on me. Show me your hands. I'm like, okay. He comes over and he handcuffed me. He's like, where's she at? I'm like, who? He's like, the lady you were arguing with. I'm like, it's my wife. She walked that way. I'm walking this way. We're trying to figure out who gets to the house first. Puts me in the back of a cop car. Rest of the cops show up, they know who I am. They asked the dude, what happened. They went and found my wife. She was like, nothing happened. They come back to him and they're like, why did you put him in handcuffs? He's a cop in Fayetteville. He didn't do nothing wrong. Now he's in the back of a cop car in handcuffs. Takes me out. They all apologize. They even take me to the house. And I got a call Monday morning, you're not hired. So I tried to leave and I failed. So now I'm thinking, man, they all knew I was leaving. I told them I'd gotten the job that Thursday and I was going to prepare to leave. I was like, oh my God, dude. If they find out about it, I'm going to get disciplinary action and probably taken off the gang unit. How do I tell them I'm not going to this department anymore? Came up with a lie. I said, hey, the guy that was leaving to go to highway patrol didn't get the job in highway patrol. So he went back to the job. And they're not feeling it. They did offer me a reserve job for now, but I told him that if I can't get a full time job, I can't commit to that. And that bought me about a month until this incident occurred that I just explained with fighting for the gun. And then once that happened, I had an emotional breakdown. I was like, I can't leave this place. I'm stuck here. I'm getting treated. I'm getting shit on right now in our room that's being interviewed because I fought a guy for a gun the day before and it would look bad on cnn. Well, guess what, asshole? What about my family? Because the fact of the matter is, if I would have died on that Friday, they would have had a nice memorial service. People would have grieved. They would have put these beautiful flowers and wreaths on my car. Had a memorial service Saturday, funeral on Monday. And before the flowers died on my vehicle Monday morning, they would be swiped off and it would be reissued out. My desk would be cleared and I would be some stupid picture on a wall. And the next generations of Police officer would walk by and just know that's just some guy that died here. And the only people grieving me for the rest of my life would be my wife and son. That's the truth. You don't ever put an agency before your family. Because the agency moves on your family, doesn't they grieve you forever. The agency does some bullshit stuff for a couple days and then don't even communicate with your family anymore. Your badge gets reissued out. Everything like you didn't exist except for the picture that collects dust in a hallway. That people don't even know who you are. So I got up. I completely excused myself from this after they told me it was sounding bad on cnn. I didn't hear anything. I walked, I stood up, went to the bathroom outside the gang unit office. It's a single bathroom. Locked the door, sat down on the ground and just cried my eyes out. I said, I can't do this. Because I knew that from here on out, I would never be able to make a decision to protect myself in the event of a deadly force encounter. Because I'll always think about, am I going to get in trouble? And I can't do that. I can't put my family through it. I wasn't feeling well, man. Called my friend who was my family doctor. And I went and saw her. I just left. I left the department, went and saw her. I guess they were still waiting for me. And I. I don't know. She said, come in immediately. I went and saw her, sat down. She said, blake, you don't look good. I'm like, what do you mean? She goes, no, like, I see it. You don't look good. Her husband was a retired Green Beret. And she knows the look. And she has talked to me, and I talked to her. And she put me on medical leave. I always mess up. Up fmlfa, whatever that is. It's the medical leave, like the people take when they have babies and stuff. Always mess that up. But Kyle's gonna laugh at that. Cause I always mess it up. But she said, hey, you. You can't do this job no more. She goes, it. It's gonna. It's gonna take your life. I'm just crying, man. Cause I love this job. It's the highlight of my life. I was in it, man. I was in it. I didn't get the opportunity to go sf. And here I am in this specialized unit that is just big boy rules. Something I always wanted was. And we were killing it. And, man, she gave me my paperwork and I went back to the department. They're like, oh, where'd you go? I was like, hey, I'm out. I'm not doing this no more. They're all mouths all dropped down. I'm like, y'all fucking did this to me. I love this job. I'd have died for any of y'all. I love this job more than everybody in this building. And he stole my passion for me. Because you failed to be a good leader. James Nollett stole the passion of law enforcement out of me. Sucked it out of me because he thought that was going to help him be promoted. Stole it from me, man. I love law enforcement. That's why I love working at Blueberry. I love what I do now. We give so much to the community, to law enforcement. All of our training courses are incredible because we're passionate about what we do. I've had somebody ask me, blake, why do you still give back to the community? You're completely screwed over. Because I love you. And I love everybody that wakes up every morning and puts a badge on. And I'll say this, think about it like this. All the tier one guys, all the specialized military units, they go do the most dangerous jobs in the world, the most secretist dangerous jobs in the world. But the difference, they get to get on an airplane and come back to the United States of America. Police Officers are deployed 365 days a year, seven days a week, in a city that they have to work in. You want to talk about paranoia? I can't even go to Best Buy with my son without being bumped into somebody that I arrested for a drug charge. And I don't know if he's gonna kill me right here or right now. That's paranoia. Law enforcement take their life. I believe because of paranoia. 185 law enforcement officers killed themselves in 2023. 136 died in the line of duty. Why are we having more officers dying by self inflicted gunshot wound than they are fighting crime? It's because the leadership is pushing us to the point where we would rather kill ourselves than have to see your fucking face in the morning. That's the problem. And it needs to be addressed nationwide. The DOJ needs to do something about it. Somebody needs to do something. It's getting out of control and bad leaders need to be held accountable. They need to be fired. Man. I'm passionate about this because I feel sorry for them. Because there are some good ass cops out there, man, that are still believing the right, still doing the right thing. But when the time Comes and there's a little hiccup in what they're doing. They're thrown to the wolves, and their families have to suffer because it comes out of a paycheck. That's bullshit. If you get an officer involved shooting, they put your ass in a closet, whether you're good or not. If it's a good shooting, they put your ass in the closet, gets you a new gun, and they make you watch body camera footage. Nobody checks on you. They put you in the worst job possible, man. It's. Things need to be done better. People need to speak up. You know how you change this, Sean? Fucking officers need to step up and speak up, because as a unit, as a whole, they can get some stuff done. You might be scared alone, but, man, form you a group and make sure that that bad leader gets out of there or you walk out because they want that bad leader or they want to lose 100 people. I try to bring this to Gina Hawkins attention. She called me when she found out I was leaving, begged me to come in for an interview the day after. She said, please come in. We don't want you to leave. I said, chief, I'm out. I'm like, your leadership is fucking horrible. The people you have under you, horrible. She said, still, come in and talk to me. Come on, Blake. I said, all right, I'll give you an exit interview. I came in there, I sat down, started telling their issues. She didn't want to hear it, man. She didn't want to hear it. She took up for every one of those dudes. I said, that's the problem. That's why I'm leaving. I said, you don't even know it yet, but you're about to have a mass exit. Like, it's crazy. The riots. Why would anybody want to be a cop after the riots? The city we lived in, they were burning them all down. Our SWAT team was riding around in unmarked cars, and it looked like, what's the movie where they have, like, 24 hours to kill people? You know what I'm talking about? Oh, what is that movie?

Sean Ryan (299:35)

Hunger Games.

Blake Cook (299:36)

No, no. They have 24 hours to kill people. It's legal. All crimes legal for 24 hours. Can't think of the name. If I wasn't on here, I'd spelled it off, but, man, that's what it was like. People doing donuts in the middle of major intersections, shooting guns in the air. People shooting glass out of convenience stores, raiding Walmart, shooting guns. Employees in Walmart calling for help because they can't Leave. That is a hostage rescue at this point. They're being held there by gunfire. We're not entering Walmart. We advise them they needed to shut down. What? We gotta do something. Like Academy Sports, Fayetteville. It took us two years, a year to recover from, from what happened there. Two patrol officers watched the vehicle, watched four gentlemen run out of Academy Sports, like for the fifth time, carrying boatloads of guns, throwing them in the vehicle. They recovered like 15 guns in the parking lot because they dropped, got behind them, was going to stop them. And James Noette told him, let him go. We have the license plate, we'll find the guns. Mind blowing. Purge. That's the movie, the Purge. I've never seen anything like it in my life. When that incident happened in Walmart, man, I remember sitting in the vehicle and my eyes were so watery because I was so mad. I was like, everybody's like, oh, well, we can't, you know, like, no, man, somebody right then should have made a decision like, there are people that need to be saved. Go in the back. Let's go. Pull the people out and drive on. Those people need our help. They just, they said, let them burn it down. The residents of Fayetteville under her leadership should have been infuriated. There's radio calls of her saying, stand down. James Noet ASSISTANT Chief car, tube, Stand down. Your city's burning down. People's lives are at stake. What are we doing? It reminded me of the scene, Sean, from thirteen Hours, remember, when they're waiting to be released and they're just watching the embassy being burned and nobody will send them. That's what it reminded me of. They're burning their market house down, which is like this historic building with the historic guy inside of it. Let it burn. There's somebody inside of there. He ended up getting out, but what do you mean, let it burn? I just had so much that I couldn't do it anymore. And I can't even imagine these massive cities, cops getting. There was a video recently out in D.C. cop getting drugged through the street, stealing his cell phone. Dude, if I saw my partner getting drugged like that, bro, I'm gonna go get two or three people and we gonna come in like, like the wolf pack from wwf. We coming in hot. We gonna lay the law down. But they can't. People are scared. They watch their buddy be drug off because they're scared. You should even been there. It's. I love the people, man, who are out fighting every day. I really do. I'm their voice for them. I Will continue to support them. Cause there's a lot of good young cops out there. But, man, you have to come together as a whole. What would you.

Sean Ryan (303:48)

This is infuriating. I can't even imagine how you feel. Cause I'm infuriated. But I mean, what do you say to these guys, the young guys?

Blake Cook (304:10)

Hey, man, focus on why you're doing it. Because it's not for money. It's your calling that you feel like that you're being called to do. Focus on the positive impacts that you're making on people's lives. That's what kept me there so long. When I was in the gang unit, we would go do search warrants and I would. There would be kids without beds. The next morning, I would go to the mattress warehouse and buy mattresses and then deliver them to that house for those kids. I've taken vans off my feet. I used to keep boxes of vans in my feet of different sizes to give out to kids who didn't have shoes. I have pictures of all this. I used to find the. What I would feel like a kid in the neighborhood, in a neighborhood who just wasn't in a game, but wanted to affiliate with a gang who just was on a bad path. And I'd say, hey, man, look, I'm not asking for passing grade or I'm not asking for A's and B's in schools. Bring me passing grades. I'll buy you Kevin Gate concert tickets when he comes to Fayetteville. I'll buy you skateboards. I'll buy you a bicycle. Bicycles are huge. It gives them the ability to go get a job. Gives them the ability to escape their situation. That's why, like, we have a bike drive at Jimmy's at Riceville Beach. It's a bike drive. We raised two or three thousand bikes in 30 days. Brand new bikes, not used bikes. We raise these bikes and we give them out at Christmas to kids who get nothing for Christmas. Because a bicycle, to a teenager that's living a horrible life is a way for them to escape, to go get a job, go do something instead of just walking around. I have a huge passion with this bike drive. I have a huge passion. I used to buy kids bikes all the time. Is because I'm giving them the ability to get away from what their environment is producing for them. I'm giving them something, some motivation. I mean, I see by skateboards all the time, we have a skate shop in Fayetteville, man, and they were so awesome. They would sell me boards at 50% off I'd go to the neighborhood and I'd give it to the kid. Or if there was a kid that we did a search warrant on that was traumatized, I'd go play basketball with them. There's one picture, man, it's my favorite picture. It's hanging up in my house. It's the gang unit. We just went in a neighborhood, we played basketball with all these kids. They were terrified of police. It's Massey Hill. It's one of the worst neighborhoods. And they were damn sure terrified dudes with beards and long hair, because that's normally people that are coming to take their parents away for a while, right? We're the jump out boys. And just got out and started playing basketball with him one day. Used to do it all the time on the road, just play basketball with him. And there's this picture of this kid, he's sitting on my shoulders, he's messing with my hat. And his brothers and sisters are here, and the gang unit's here. And it meant so much to those kids, man, to see that we're humans. Law enforcement officers are humans. The problem is that citizens see us at their worst moments. They'll never see us at their best moments. So if their worst moment, we're either good or evil, it doesn't matter. They still don't get to see us as humans. You know, when I go home and I take off that vest, I'm a husband, I'm a father, I'm a son, I'm a brother, I'm a human. I used to have shit thrown on me when I was on patrol. Crazy lady shit in her hand and threw it on me. All I did was ask her to get out of the road. People don't understand that. So when people, like, are wondering why officers are aggressive, you're just seeing them in that capacity. You don't know what they just came from. They're humans. Find them outside this, they'll joke with you, they'll have a beer with you, they'll hang out with you. They're just normal people that have a job and an oath to protect. That's it.

Sean Ryan (308:39)

Yeah, man.

Blake Cook (308:43)

To stay motivated, do it for the right reasons, and be a good cop. And know that you're impacting somebody's life, whether it's one person or it's a hundred people, you're impacting somebody's life. You have the ability to reach somebody at their worst moment and try to make it a smidge better by just your presence. That's the key, man, of being a Good cop try to make somebody's worst moment a tad bit better. How would you want a cop to approach you at your worst moment? That's it, man. You do that, you're gonna be okay. You'll have a good career. But when it's time to go to work, it's time to go to work. It's time to be the police. When it's time to be the police. But you gotta be able to switch it up and switch it down. It's the biggest thing about CQB is when known to throttle it up and throttle it down. That's what makes a professional. You know, I truly believe that a professional law enforcement officer is not one that gets in shootings. I was fortunate of eight years to not get into. I didn't ever pull the trigger. That is because I did everything as a professional. There's nothing more professional than going into a crazy environment and not having to kill somebody, having to talk them out of their worst moment, having to have better tactics than the bad guy to get them in handcuffs. That is being a professional. That is what should set you aside from everybody else is being able to go do what I consider to be the country's most dangerous job and not ever pull the trigger because you have better tactics. You're out thinking and you have the ability to talk somebody down at their worst moment. That's what makes a good cop, Sean. That's what makes a professional, in my opinion.

Sean Ryan (310:40)

Damn. That's damn good advice, brother.

Blake Cook (310:44)

I try to live by that, man. I did. I really did. I wanted to make an impact. That's all I wanted to do.

Sean Ryan (310:55)

Well, it sounds like you made a hell of an impact.

Blake Cook (310:58)

I like to think I did. I really do.

Sean Ryan (311:03)

I bet there's a lot of people that know you did.

Blake Cook (311:06)

I appreciate that. It means a lot, honestly.

Sean Ryan (311:10)

You're welcome.

Blake Cook (311:11)

I tried.

Sean Ryan (311:12)

Well, Blake, we're wrapping up the interview, but. And, man, I'll tell you, it's been a real honor.

Blake Cook (311:22)

It's been a pleasure to be able to sit here and share this story. You know, a lot of things, man, I've never even said out loud. So thank you for having me on the show and using this platform. And, man, if it just helps one person, that's all that matters.

Sean Ryan (311:45)

It's going to help a lot of people. And, man, seriously, I just. I'm so glad Kyle, you know, connected us and Sounds like Blue Bearing Solutions is doing just amazing stuff. And all that stuff will be linked below. If you guys want to follow Kyle and Blake and take Some courses. But, yeah, like, I think more important than business. I just. I just want to say thank you, man.

Blake Cook (312:15)

Oh, thank you, Sean.

Sean Ryan (312:16)

Thank you for the service you've done. And, man, just thank you for law enforcement everywhere. I know that community is going through a real fucking tough time right now, and there's a lot of us that appreciate it, that appreciate the service, that wish Ellie the best. And we support you. We do. And I hope they hear that.

Blake Cook (312:59)

Yeah, I think that's the most important thing for them to hear is that stay off the news, stay off social media, because people support you.

Sean Ryan (313:10)

And I'll say something, too. I always do it. But, man, if you are for the listeners, if you are, if you do support, and we all do, anybody that watches this channel supports law enforcement. Man, just take five seconds out of your day and say thank you. Wish them safety.

Blake Cook (313:38)

I appreciated every person that stopped me and said thank you. It was the only positive thing I ever got during that 10 hour shift.

Sean Ryan (313:50)

I do have one last question.

Blake Cook (313:53)

All right.

Sean Ryan (313:56)

I mean, it sounds like your mom has been there for you. And, I mean, she's always been there. Sounds like a very, very strong woman. And is she gonna watch this?

Blake Cook (314:14)

I'm sure.

Sean Ryan (314:16)

You sure? Have anything to say?

Blake Cook (314:22)

I would not be who I am without her. She never gave up on me. She's been my mom and my dad. She's been my biggest supporter. I love you. And I'm so grateful that God gave me you. Gave you as my mother. Thank you for never giving up on me.

Sean Ryan (314:52)

Good for you, man. I wish you the best of luck. And I'm just very thankful that we met.

Blake Cook (315:01)

I'm beyond grateful.

Sean Ryan (315:19)

Hey, it's Rich Eisen here. Join me and my compadre Chris Brockman every Monday on the Overreaction Monday podcast.

Blake Cook (315:26)

Rich Jamis has taken the Browns to the playoffs. Dude, why can't they win seven, eight games to finish the year? Why not? I'm not saying that. No. Why not? But this is a definitive statement that's.

Sean Ryan (315:37)

Clearly an overreaction, and it's perfect fodder.

Blake Cook (315:40)

For a show like this one.

Sean Ryan (315:41)

I appreciate you coming out of the gate Hot. Come react or overreact with us.

Blake Cook (315:45)

Overreaction Monday.

Sean Ryan (315:47)

Wherever you listen, it's game over over, man.