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Joshua Broome
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Unknown Host
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Joshua Broome
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Joshua Broome
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Unknown Host
Joshua Broome, welcome to the show, man.
Joshua Broome
Man, so glad to be here. What an honor.
Unknown Host
I'm pumped to have you. So we got a mutual friend. Victor Marks, huh?
Joshua Broome
What a guy.
Unknown Host
Victor shot me a text this morning and I love hearing from Victor. You never know what you're going to.
Joshua Broome
Hear, but you never know. But a four minute voice memo of just chaos.
Unknown Host
Yeah, yeah, yeah. But I'm pumped that you know him and, and that's just reinforces, you know, you're good people to be around if Victor's hanging out with you. So. So once again, thank you for coming, man. And so we're going to talk about a little bit of your life story. An insight into the adult film industry, what got you out of it and being a pastor now. So, so. And I'm sure we'll go down a handful of rabbit holes, you know, throughout the interview. But I'm really curious, you know, it's. I mean, the adult film industry is huge. What's that girl's name? This is the girl that she's like.
Joshua Broome
She slept with a thousand guys in 24 hours or something like that. And I.
Unknown Host
And now like, now it seems like all these other girls are like trying to top it. You just keep hearing this stuff. Like there was some other girl, I think it was in Miami, she was shooting a film set or like some kind of a gang bang or something on a balcony and like fell off the balcony to her death.
Joshua Broome
Yeah. I mean, I think what we're seeing is, you know, content creation became a legitimized career and then because we live in an over sexualized culture, and then you see the birth and rise up of Only F those worlds kind of intermeshed. And it really happened during COVID During COVID OnlyFans production people who were participating in OnlyFans went up by 1600%.
Unknown Host
1600%.
Joshua Broome
1600%. And then porn consumption went up 400%.
Unknown Host
Wow.
Joshua Broome
But what you would see is essentially they were using social media like a funnel in that. You know, I've met with many girls who used to be in OnlyFans or girls that worked on the marketing arm of Only Fans. And the way they would work is, you know, once a girl became popular, once they became, you know, the top 10%, they would grab that girl and they would say, hey, we're going to represent you. We're going to take great care of you. And they would bring them into a studio and they would shoot all this stock footage and they'll say, hey, we're going to 10x the way that you're being monetized because we're going to shoot all this footage and then we're going to have, you know, 30 random, you know, guys in a basement in the Philippines or whatever. They're going to be chatting with the people, so they're going to have your password. You're not going to have to be on OnlyFans anymore. We're just going to shoot all this stock content. And it's like catfishing 2.0 where you know, you pay per message, per video, per picture, and then you got a guy sitting there pretending to be her and you're talking with these people and they're saying, you know, whatever in the comments and they're just plug and playing stuff from stock footage. So once a month I just go and shoot all this footage. Now you got this, you know, this stuff to work with and you're just plugging and playing. So now they can be talking to 30 people at once, but they're talking to no one at all. And then you Know, they're getting, you know, 75, 80% of that revenue.
Unknown Host
Damn.
Joshua Broome
So you're not even so to the person that is, you know, addicted to only fans. If you're talking to a popular creator, I can almost guarantee you, you're not talking to that person.
Unknown Host
No kidding. Why do you think. Why do you think that? I mean, we're gonna get way more in depth on this stuff later on, but I mean, what. Where does this end? Yeah, I mean, it's just. It's just. I mean, it's like anything else you see, right? But it's just they're constantly one upping each other, like, oh, how, How. You know, how disgusting can I make it, you know, A thousand. A thousand dudes in 24 hours.
Joshua Broome
Yeah.
Unknown Host
I mean, what does that even look like? I mean, how do you even recruit that?
Joshua Broome
Yeah, I mean, unfortunately, it's pretty easy and. Cause, like, I, you know, I was in the porn industry for almost seven years, and, you know, when girls would do gang bangs because, like, guys that were, like, professionally, like, in the industry for the most part, didn't do gang banks because a director is not paying, you know, top. You know, because you have a day rate, you have an individual rate that you make per day, so you're not paying that per guy, you know, so you're finding anyone off the street that's willing to go get an STD and AIDS test. So you're probably. You might not be paying them at all. So, you know, and these girls, again, they got all these fans. All you gotta do is post a story in the comments saying, hey, anyone in this vicinity that follows me, do you want to be part of this? Go get a test. Bring the test here, and you get to have sex with me. And it works. And it's like where, like, social media is working like a funnel now, where the girls, they're supposed to be provocative on TikTok. And in the TikTok, it says, go to my IG. And on IG, there's a, you know, a little link in their page. And here's my link tree. And on my link tree is my only fans. And it's just a big funnel to sell porn.
Unknown Host
Geez. Geez. What do you. Isn't Kanye west getting back into the. Not back into. Is he getting into it? He just had his girlfriend pretty much naked at whatever awards show that was. I don't follow any of this.
Joshua Broome
Yeah, it's wild being because, like, and kids were around.
Unknown Host
Yeah, it's like little kids looking at this.
Joshua Broome
Yeah. Like, you See, like, Kanye go from someone who was having these, like, these, like, church things.
Unknown Host
Yeah, right.
Joshua Broome
And had, like, pretty decent, like, Christian rap come out and then, like, really, like, go on this, like, bender. But I would say, man, like, the guy experienced significant brokenness in his life. And I think to the person saying, man, how could this person actually know Jesus? I think he liked the idea of Jesus. But for Jesus to invade and to help you to invade your heart, you have to surrender and submit. And that's not a natural thing. Especially to the guy who has millions upon millions of dollars and everyone around him saying, like, you're the guy, you're the guy, you're the guy. For you to say, I'm not the guy. And the way to find healing and wholeness is for me to bend my knee to the lordship of Jesus Christ. That's very different than acknowledging that something exists. So I would just say I think he liked the idea of Jesus. And then he experienced some brokenness and he was trying really hard to be okay, and he just wasn't because he just kind of been up, down, up, down, up, down. But I saw, like, he. He got kicked off of Twitter because he just went on this, like, rampage. He posted, like, porn, like, for, you know, two or three hours, like, non stop, just posting, like, hardcore pornography. Right after that happened, like, right after he showed up to the award show with this. With a girl. Is it his wife?
Unknown Host
I don't know.
Joshua Broome
Or who. Who.
Unknown Host
I don't follow any of this stuff.
Joshua Broome
No, it's like he was. He was married to a Kardashian and they got, you know. Yeah, I mean, I don't know what. I don't know exactly what happened, but it's sad. It's sad.
Unknown Host
Yeah. You know? Well, I got your. I got your whole life's outline right here, but I don't want to go down the outline. I think this is going to be a very fascinating conversation. And so I just want to riff, and I hope you're okay with that. But I really want to talk about. In a lot of my interviews, we talk about the effects of war and extreme trauma and how to get over it and what that does and the downward spiral that sends you on. And I just have this feeling that this is gonna be very similar to that. Absolutely. And to be honest with you, I've been. I tried to get Jenna Jamison to come on here to talk about this. I've been trying to get her for years, but I think she's got some health stuff going on. But, yeah, it's just always been a subject that I've been really interested to dive into. And especially like, are you familiar with the effects that it's, you know, that it has on kids?
Joshua Broome
Oh, absolutely.
Unknown Host
And the addictions and all that kind of. I mean, this stuff is like really bad.
Joshua Broome
Yeah. I mean you look at, you know, look at research. Average age of exposure three years ago was 11. Is trending towards eight years old now. And eight, eight years old. And what's interesting, so 84% of first time exposure to pornography for kids is secondhand exposure, meaning that they weren't looking for it. They were either on an unprotected dev and it was looking for them. Because this is the world that we live in because of streaming and things like that. Everything has porn on it to the extent, depending on what your definition of porn would be. And then just being at school or someone else's home and then it was shown to them. But it's crazy, man, not to come out swinging. But I would say probably the most dramatic thing I would share with is that. So a really good friend of mine, she once was a critical care nurse in Kansas City, Missouri. About six months ago she started a non profit and she's just speaking on this full time, but she started seeing a reoccurring theme and it was that. So she was an examiner for sexual abuse cases of children and she was noticing over and over again that two things were happening, that the abuser of the child was between 10 to 14 years old and it was a sibling. And she was like, well, is. And it was a lot of cases like that in Kansas City. And she's like, is there just something weird going on here? And she started asking her peers in different places. Her name's Heidi Olsen.
Unknown Host
I think I know where you're going with this. I think I know where you're going with this. I interviewed somebody a while ago or I was talking with somebody and we were talking about like before the show, we were talking about the sexual exploitation of kids and are you going into. He told me that the number one most searched type of porn is incest.
Joshua Broome
Yes.
Unknown Host
Is that where you're going with this?
Joshua Broome
Yeah, well, I mean, just the reality that. So in around 60% of the sexual assault cases that happen to children in the United States, the perpetrator is A, between 10 to 12, 10 to 14 years old, and B, it's a sibling. So that's. It's in the 60% in the US it's higher in Europe, highest in Australia around 73%. And then fastest growing niche of pornography is incestual. The stepbro, stepsister stuff. And the reality is 100% of the cases, the kids are addicted to porn. They're watching porn, they're developing fantasies, and then they're superimposing these. These fictitious desires. They're imposing them on their sibling. They're tying up their brother and sister and raping them because they've developed an appetite for something that they don't know what to do with and the porn doesn't. Again, like we were talking earlier, this belief that you can consume something and it not have a real impact on your output. Like, in what world does that make sense? You can't. Like, whatever you ingest once it metabolizes, there has to be somewhere for it to go.
Unknown Host
Wow.
Joshua Broome
So to the person thinking porn's harmless, who can it hurt? Kids.
Unknown Host
There you go.
Joshua Broome
At a significant rate.
Unknown Host
Well, we'll get more into that real quick. Let me. Everybody starts out with an intro. Joshua Broome, you're a guy who went from a small town, South Carolina, to the bright lights of Hollywood, chasing the acting dream only to fall into the adult film industry. You became Rocco Reed, starring in over 1000 films and raking in over a million dollars as one of the top male performers on the planet. You're a man who hit rock bottom staring down depression and suicidal thoughts until God stepped in. You're a voice behind Counterfeit Culture podcast and the unmentionable docu series taking the fight to the very industry you once ruled. You're now pastor, a husband and a father of four. And something else. I want to dive into a spiritual warfare.
Joshua Broome
Yeah.
Unknown Host
As you know, we got a Patreon account. They're our top supporters. They've been with us since the beginning when I was doing this in the attic of my house and. And their supports brought us here, and now we're building a new studio. I got an amazing team who you've met. And so one of the things I do is I offer them each and every guest that comes on, they get the opportunity to ask a question. And so this one's from Stephen Casey. What would you recommend to parents of children so that they could set up their family's habits to prevent their children from being lured either passively or actively into the environment that caused you so much grief and pain and is hurting others? The porn industry.
Joshua Broome
Yeah. I mean, you know this as someone who was in the military and you know, anyone that's been around athletics, I have to have good self awareness before I can have discipline. So for us as parents, we can't believe that we can just protect our kids from the world. You know, the Bible tells us that bad things will happen. You know, the world is not, you know, a safe place. You can't protect your kids from everything. So I would say the way that you protect them is you inform them. So talk about sex in an age appropriate way that is real and that is helpful. There's a book called a good Book. I think it's good book, bad pictures. And so I think it's been around for about 20 years. But there's a theme in it that's helpful for even adults. There are bad pictures in the world that you probably will see. But if you see those pictures, that doesn't make you bad. So if you see them, if you're hungry, run to mom and dad. Scared, run to mom and dad, see something you shouldn't see, come tell mom and dad so that we can process it with you. Because if you don't create a space to have that conversation, what you don't talk about says something. So I would say that's the biggest problem with porn sex in the church, where it's not talked about in the way that gives people a comfortability of talking about it. Because anytime that you would say porn or sex and you cringe, you probably have an unhealthy relationship with it. So say, hey, you know, sex is this beautiful thing. This is how you got here, you know, to your son, to your daughter and you know, explain it in a way that makes sense. Then also we need to protect ourselves from the world. The world is a dangerous place trying to come at us. So Bark is a really great piece of technology where you, you know, bark.org is the website and you get to control everything that your children has access to if they're going to use any kind of smart technology. And what I love about it is you get a of everything that they see and everything that they're sent. So if you're allowing them to use text messages, emails, things like that, you will get a notification if someone's, you know, there's bullying, there's any kind of conversation around self harm, either by them or someone else, anything pornographic, any key words, and then you can have a healthy conversation where instead of being accusatory of, hey, I know that I saw this, you know, you know that I saw this. So you know, you know, fess up, you can say, hey, is there anything that you know was said to you or you saw today that you want to talk about with me. So I would say that's. That's how we have to navigate that conversation. Because what we don't say is not helpful, but it also says something. Yeah, because, you know, Romans 12, 2, either you're being conformed by the world, you're being transformed by the renewing of your mind. So the world is going to teach you, but the Prince of the Air, the devil, wants to teach you something that's drastically different than what God wants to teach you.
Unknown Host
Yeah, you know, I mean, with the phone stuff, we were just talking about Ryan Montgomery, my friend, before the podcast, and he had an interesting quote that made a hell of a lot of sense to me. He said, when you give your kid a phone, you're not giving your kid access to the world. You're giving the world access to your kid. And that's resonated with me ever since. But you had mentioned. You had mentioned it age appropriate. What is age appropriate now? I mean, you just mentioned earlier that 8 years old is 8 year olds. How old are your kids?
Joshua Broome
So my kids. So Cannon is almost seven, so. Six, four, three, and one. So, I mean, for example, Cannon last year when he was still 6, there's this apologetics camp that I always speak at, and I teach sexual ethic, and he comes with me because I'm not saying anything that's inappropriate. I'm saying everything is true, and everything that I'm saying is biblically accurate. So he's heard me. You know, he sits, you know, up on stage and, you know, he's probably, like, drawing, you know, paw patrol or something like that. But he's hearing me. He's listening. So I would say it's. It's like there's no, like, line in the sand with kids. Just, you know, pay attention to them and just know your kids. I mean, how do you.
Unknown Host
How do you bring it up?
Joshua Broome
Yeah.
Unknown Host
Have you had any one on ones yet?
Joshua Broome
Yeah, I mean, you know, just like, you know, just the fact that we've got four kids, like, mommy's pregnant, you know, where is this baby coming from? You know, you know, mommy's parts are different than ours, you know. You know, she's, you know, outmanned in our house significantly, but they're just asking questions, you know, like what? You know, why do I have something different than Mom? You know, what, where do babies come from? Stuff like that. They're just kind of naturally inquisitive, so we just tell them truth, you know, And I think. But, like, you know, we don't get you know, over. We don't over explain ourselves. We just say it, you know, matter of fact, and. And it is what it is. And I think, like, when you make. When you make it a bigger deal than it should be, it becomes a big deal, you know? Yeah.
Unknown Host
Yeah. I mean, I think about this stuff all the time. You know, I got little ones, and it just. Man, the shit that's out there now just is terrifying.
Joshua Broome
Yeah.
Unknown Host
And I can see how it will. It can destroy your mind in those certain aspects of. In just so many ways.
Joshua Broome
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Joshua Broome
I was sharing with you around like the whole incest thing regarding, like the niche and pornography and all the stuff that's happening with sexual assault. But in addition to that, you know, image based, like sexual exploitation, you know, that that's a new thing that's on the rise and especially with young men. But the importance of kids not watching porn is this. There's a. There's a new scam that's on the rise. And I think, like, so far this year, this has happened, I think around like 170,000 times. It's been documented where a kid was approached by a scammer. And it, you know, they have a fictitious profile, looks like a cute girl, and they have an interaction with a guy and they say, you know, they send them a fake naked picture. And they said, you send me one back. And once they send one. Got you. Okay, I want you to send me $500 or I've hacked your account. I'm gonna send this photo to everyone at your school, all of your family. You got 24 hours. And I think around 150 of those kids committed suicide because as a teenage boy, you're like, my whole life is ruined.
Unknown Host
Yeah. Or a girl.
Joshua Broome
Yeah.
Unknown Host
Wow.
Joshua Broome
Yeah. You know, and it's wild. Cause around, like around 90% of those cases are guys. But yeah, I mean, it's everywhere. That's why it's so important to have those conversations. Because you don't send a naked photo to someone you don't know online unless you've been watching pornography. Like, that's not a rational thought. Unless your mind has been corrupted and perverted in a way that maybe there's exceptions to this. But for the most part, that thinking comes from pornography. Yeah.
Unknown Host
You know, I mean, I was talking to somebody else and they were talking about, you know, how this, you know, it starts. It starts with regular. It starts with, I don't know, Smith Illustrated.
Joshua Broome
Yeah.
Unknown Host
And then it's. And then it's Playboy, and then it's softcore porn, and then it's hardcore porn, and then it's gang bangs. And then it's, you know, it just gets. And then it goes into the incest stuff. And they were talking about how young men, boys get addicted to this. And it just keeps getting more perverted and more perverted and more perverted. And at the same time, the kids that are the same age, the girls are online and they're getting exploited and they're only talking to older men online because. Or they get trapped, like you were just saying. But it's, hey, do you want this Louis Vuitton bag? Cool, Send me this. Then they're blackmailed or they're not. And they're only interested in older men because they shoot some pictures or take some videos of themselves for the new iPhone, a new purse, whatever the latest fad is. And so that takes the interest away from the boys. So then the boys don't even have anybody to go date. And it's like this.
Joshua Broome
I mean, that's why, I mean, we live. We're living in a post Christian United States. I mean, luckily there's been some progress in the right direction. I saw Bible sales are up 22%, but for the most part, it's like the world is looking dark and bleak in some ways, but yeah, it's nuts, man.
Unknown Host
Yeah. Yeah. Well, everybody gets a gift on the show. Gummy bears.
Joshua Broome
Thank you so much.
Unknown Host
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Joshua Broome
Awesome. Thank you so much.
Unknown Host
Yeah, you're welcome.
Joshua Broome
I have something for you.
Unknown Host
Oh, nice.
Joshua Broome
So I have a copy of my book. Copy of my book. And. And what I love to do. So that book. So seven lies. It'll ruin your life. So really it's like, hey, here's seven lies. Culture that negatively impacted my life. And then here's seven truths from God's word that kind of eradicated that lie and gave me a new foundation to stand on. If you, you know, kind of like a progressive overloading like, workout plan, if you do, you know, 10 sets of two for 10 weeks, you will get stronger. In the same way, if you apply God's word to your life, your life will change. But man, my life, like, just me being in this room, you know, how, how, you know, like God had a plan, you know? But I would say my life has been made up of people inviting me into places that I don't have any business being into because they saw something in me and people that gave me time that they didn't have. And so this is my friend Jonathan Paluda's new Book it says it's called you'd Story has a villain. And he just did like a. Like a two or three year deep dive into spiritual warfare. Grew up Catholic, kind of, you know, threw it by the wayside and kind of lived for the world and, you know, was very successful in the marketplace and then came to Faith later in life. And, you know, he's. He's been part of, you know, some of those college revivals that you've seen, like baptizing thousands of people at college campuses and stuff.
Unknown Host
But he was a part of that.
Joshua Broome
Yeah. So he's one of the people that have been part of each event. Him and Jenny Allen along with Tanya. But yeah, so he's there preaching in every event and baptizing those kids. But it's wild because he poured into this guy Andrew, that poured into me. And just kind of a neat discipleship circle. But I wanted to give you that. Thank you. I love giving people literature that was. It's simple, it's clear, and it was a game changer for me. But he's somebody that. Proverbs 27:6 talks about the wounds of a friend. And while sometimes you need to hear encouragement, but every once in a while you need a kick in the butt.
Unknown Host
Yeah. Thank you. Can't wait to dive in. We've been tracking this guy. We've been tracking this guy.
Joshua Broome
Yeah, he's a good, good friend of mine. So he lives in Waco. So he pastors a chur. Waco. So a little bit north of me in Dallas. Interesting, but phenomenal dude. Phenomenal dude. He's the biggest, tallest person that I know that does not play basketball.
Unknown Host
Right on. Well, I love the spiritual warfare topic. It's fascinating. So we'll.
Joshua Broome
Oh, yeah. And he's got. You have to ask him about Victor, Elsa.
Unknown Host
I will. I will.
Joshua Broome
Yeah.
Unknown Host
But let's. So I know you grew up in South Carolina. Correct. And I mean, how old were you when you got into the porn industry?
Joshua Broome
Yeah. If I could take what you said and just back up a little bit, I think it's so important. So I grew up in South Carolina. Mom got pregnant with me when she was 15. Had me at 16 in a super small town, like one gas station, one grocery store. And my dad was in that town, but never in my life. And my mom worked at this, like, flounder and fried chicken, you know, like, restaurant. And it had, like big glass windows. And the windows, I would sit there and I would eat pretty much the same thing. I'd pretty much eat the same Thing after school every day. This is when I was earlier. But I would look out that window, and it was called Rogers, was called the convenience store. And Rogers is my grandfather. And also. So my father was Roger Dale Jr. And he was Roger Dale Sr. And I saw the convenience store, and I saw the green Z71, like, pull up every once in a while. So I saw him.
Unknown Host
That'd be your dad?
Joshua Broome
It was my dad, and I saw him. So he was in close enough proximity for me to see him often but never know him. And I was confronted with. So I was confronted with over and over again not being chosen and just the way that attachment theory works neurologically, just how we develop an understanding of our emotions. It's like, man, I had this conflict and this chaos that I didn't understand. And the way that I made sense of it, well, must be on me, you know, there must be something wrong with me that he's not choosing me. So the best I can do is try to overcome.
Unknown Host
How young were you when you started seeing that?
Joshua Broome
I mean, nine, ten? I mean, when I started, like, comprehending it.
Unknown Host
And it went all the way through.
Joshua Broome
Yeah. My whole life, you know, up until.
Unknown Host
Graduated high school, no interaction at all, Just looking at them through a window.
Joshua Broome
Yeah. I mean, there was probably, like, a few times where there was some fumbled, awkward attempt for us to have a conversation. There was never any malice involved, but it was just strange, you know? And in retrospect, at a place now I can have an understanding of man, what stays in the dark grows. And today is the easiest day to apologize for the thing that you did today. Tomorrow it's going to be even harder. And the next day and the next day and next day, it's just going to compound over time, especially if there's shame involved. So I don't think he's like, man, I don't want to be this kid's dad. Maybe he didn't know what to say. And then so much time passed by, he just became crippled by it. But either way, it impacted me, you know? And so then I go to college, study theater. I was in a fraternity, all the stuff. And I was sharing earlier with someone, one of your team members. I was sharing how my fraternity brother was the one who taught me how to tie a tie for the first time. Because our fraternity, we wore, you know, suit and tie on Tuesdays in a pin. And they were like, man, you can't be wearing a clip on. You know, you'll get a smackdown for that. And I was like, man, I don't know how to tie a tie. And I remember my big brother, like, teaching me how to tie this, like, single Windsor tie and stuck with me forever, you know? And just, like, moments like that, it was. It's this, like, duality of I'll always be this, like, kid that his daddy didn't want. But also, like, man, I need guys in my life to teach me something, you know, But. But kind of like with that foundation, I believed at my, you know, core of my being is like, man, if I earn enough, if I become enough, if I do enough, maybe I'll feel as if I'm enough. And what I really wanted to hear was, son, I'm proud of you. And because I never heard that, I thought I could earn it from the world.
Unknown Host
Yeah.
Joshua Broome
And, you know, I was just kind of one of those guys where, like, everything I did, I found success in, like, I was a good. I was a good ball player. I was good at acting. I had had a lot of success in modeling, so kind of took that to Hollywood, and I was. I had an agent, and I was. I was having more success in modeling than acting, but everything was great. I was living in Hollywood, had a great place to stay, had a good friend group, had a great agent, had opportunities.
Unknown Host
But I just want to backtrack real quick. I mean, that. I think that affects a lot of people.
Joshua Broome
Oh, yeah.
Unknown Host
And, you know, with my kids, I've made it a point. I make it a point to make sure I tell my kids I'm proud of them every day, multiple times a day, tell them why I'm proud of them. Not just, hey, I'm proud of you. I tell them why I'm proud of them. And even if they don't understand, you know, it's in there.
Joshua Broome
Yeah. I think what you said is so important, that added layer, because it's one thing to say I'm proud of you, or you did a good job or whatever that might be, but when you make it intentional and explain why, I feel like that would be even more meaningful and allow them to understand.
Unknown Host
Yeah.
Joshua Broome
But, yeah, I mean, kind of all that foundation led me to that moment of being in Hollywood and still acting like an idiot, living like an absolute fool, but kind of with all that factored in. I saw porn for the first time when I was 13. Never saw my mom in a healthy relationship. She was married for a very short period of time to someone who was very abusive, drug addiction. So outside of that, I never saw her in a healthy dynamic. My grandmother and grandfather, they didn't sleep in the same bed. My grandfather was, like, fishing every day, you know, like, bad back or whatever. They didn't share a bed. But I just had no, like, foundation of what is a healthy relationship. What is love? What is intimacy? What is, you know, never had a sex talk. Saw porn when I was 13. And I thought, man, maybe if I act out what else, what I'm seeing in this magazine, maybe I'll feel what I don't. And, you know, that was kind of the start of me living a very promiscuous lifestyle. In addition to that, were you.
Unknown Host
Did you ever. Did you ever. Did your dad ever come into the picture still to this day?
Joshua Broome
Well, I mean, I have a really great story about forgiveness because at the end of the day, it's like, I'd say, I love that I get to share. Thank you for asking that. And I love that I have the platform that I do today with the maturity that I do. Because when I used to talk about him, when I used to talk about him, I think I did it in a way that I was still a little bit angry with him, but I've. I forgave him. And it was just. It was a big moment for me because, you know, when, like, forgiveness is easy or easier, when you know that reconciliation is on the other side, but when reconciliation doesn't meet your expectations, are you still willing to forgive? Meaning that why would I forgive my dad if he's not going to become my dad and become a grandfather to my kids? Why would I forgive him? Why would I forgive the person that's not going to change? Why would I forgive the person that did wrong and is not going to be sorry for it or pay a price for that? I understand that God is a God of justice and. And justice will be served in the end. But we often find ourselves saying, I want to play God in some way. I want to control the outcome. I want to have some kind of autonomy. And I'll forgive, if not in God's economy, not in God's kingdom. We forgive because we've been forgiven. And when you don't forgive the thing that the person who pays the price is you. And for a long time, I was dealing with man. Like, you know, it was on the other side of me conquering all these other things, like all these addictions and traumas and lust and all this stuff. But I was still wrestling with a little bit of anger issues. And it was because I would, like, in my heart of hearts, I would say, man, the messed up stuff that people say about me or say about me to my wife or say about my kids or whatever. There was a little part of me that said, dad, if you would have been there, I wouldn't have done those things and this wouldn't have been happening. So it's kind of your fault. And I had to come to. Come to grips with. That's not true. Like, my trauma impacted the way that I saw the world. Yes. But upon my own volition, I made those decisions. I have free will. So I had to take ownership of my mistakes and I had to let go of that with him. So I speak about him very differently. I speak about him with more empathy today than I have in the past. We don't have the relationship that I wish we did, but.
Unknown Host
Where'd you learn forgiveness?
Joshua Broome
From Victor.
Unknown Host
Me too. Me too.
Joshua Broome
Really?
Unknown Host
Yeah. No, after hearing his story and he forgave his dad and what he did.
Joshua Broome
Yeah.
Unknown Host
I was like, whoa. And he called me one day and told me I needed to forgive somebody for something they did that is a friend of his. And I was like, are you fucking asking me to forgive this asshole? And he's like, yes, I am. And I was like. I was like, man, after what you've been through, it's really hard to say no to you, but I'll figure out how to do it. And you know what I realized? For me at least, forgiveness isn't for the other person. Forgiveness is for yourself. Because you imprison yourself in that fucking resentment and that anger and it just never leaves. And every time that, you know, the name comes up, it's like. But if you can. And it's hard. It is hard, man, to just let it go. You've, like, you pull yourself out of that prison and. But I learned that from Victor, too. And I tell people that. And I thought, you know, I don't. I don't know if it resonates or not, but you have to think of. That's how. That's how I have to think of it. If I don't forgive this person, it's going to eat me alive.
Joshua Broome
Yeah.
Unknown Host
And. And it will eat you alive.
Joshua Broome
Yeah.
Unknown Host
And. And when I was able to do it, like, it, man. It's like having a 10,000 pound rucksack lifted off your back.
Joshua Broome
Oh, yeah.
Unknown Host
But so. So you forgave your dad?
Joshua Broome
Yeah.
Unknown Host
Did you tell him that?
Joshua Broome
Yeah.
Unknown Host
How did that go?
Joshua Broome
I mean, it was super emotional. I mean, I was. I was so, like. I made up my mind what I was gonna say before, you know, it got too far. So. So as soon as I got him on the phone, I said it soon, and he apologized. And what did he say? He didn't. I don't remember much about it. You know, it was more. It wasn't this, like, he's not an emotional guy. You know, it was like. It wasn't like I conjured up in my head. I thought it was gonna be this, like, this groundbreaking moment where, you know, I thought it was gonna be like, you know, Rocky and Apollo, like, you know, dapping up on the beach, but. Yeah, I mean, what did you say? Well, I said I'm sorry that I blamed you for every bad thing that I've ever done. And I've been holding a lot of resentment for you not being there, and I missed you a lot and I needed you. But the frustration that I have in my life and the unforgiveness that I have in my heart, I want to let it go. And he pretty much said, me, too, you know, said he was sorry for not being there. That was kind of it. And I think, you know, my prayer is that. That my life and the way that I pursue him is healing for him in some way, because I can't imagine what goes on in his head and his heart internally.
Unknown Host
Yeah, that's what I was just going to say, too. Another thing that kind of. It helps me is knowing, like. I mean, you have to be able to. Like, I guess you don't have to, but to put yourself in their shoes and to have to carry the guilt of never being around had a massive part in how things turned out or how they didn't turn out.
Joshua Broome
Yeah.
Unknown Host
And I mean, it. They're going to carry that shit for the rest of their life. They think about this stuff. Unless they're a total narcissist. Right. You know, which most people aren't. I mean, that's every day of their life that's haunting them.
Joshua Broome
Yeah.
Unknown Host
You know, and. And.
Joshua Broome
And that impacts everyone they touch.
Unknown Host
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Joshua Broome
Yeah, yeah. So kind of all that leading up to me being in Hollywood and I was at this, this bar, Saddle Ranch, so like mechanical bulls and all this stuff. And these three girls walk up to me and they were headhunters for the porn industry and they worked with a porn agent and they asked me straight up like, hey, would you be interested in being in a porn? And I was like, not really, you know, but maybe I didn't have a. I think it's like when you don't have a good reason to say no, sometimes you say yes to something you should say no to, to, you know, but they, you know, like some people ask me like was is there a correlation between sex trafficking and the porn industry? And think about trafficking, you know, generally involves force, fraud, and coercion. And, you know, people ask me, well, you know, is that. Does some of that exist in the porn industry? It doesn't exist. It is completely dependent on it. It. It's manipulation is, you know, a. A at the cornerstone of the porn industry and that the girls were trained to use language where they're in a place where, you know, a lot of people are trying to make it and they're using, you know, meet with our agent and you'll do an interview and you'll. You know, he'll help you with your career and. And all that stuff. You know, he'll. And it's almost like when we say things or when we call things different than what they are, it creates this unrealistic barrier in that we don't want to say porn. We say adult film industry, yet porn is a word that is from the Greek New testament, so porneia. But we want to say adult film industry. But when we say that, trying not to be abrasive, what are we saying? We're insinuating that that's adult behavior. That's how adults act. You know, so it's just so interesting that they would use specific language of saying agent this and that. And then they essentially, they were like, hey, if you want to do this, you'll meet with our agent. And I was like, you know, I've been watching porn for a long time. I've been acting like an idiot forever. If I get paid for what I bought or already doing, like, maybe, you know, that would be cool.
Unknown Host
How old are you at this point?
Joshua Broome
22.
Unknown Host
You're only 22?
Joshua Broome
Yeah.
Unknown Host
And I mean, just being totally honest, If I was 22 and got approached with that, I probably been. Yes.
Joshua Broome
Yeah.
Unknown Host
You're gonna pay me to bang hot women.
Joshua Broome
Yeah.
Unknown Host
Okay.
Joshua Broome
Yeah, let's do it. That's pretty much what I heard. Yeah. And I. And I go and I meet with this guy, and.
Unknown Host
And it's three attractive women. Yes.
Joshua Broome
Three smoking hot girls that they approach. Yeah. And. Yeah. So I'm like, sure, I'll meet with the guy. You know, like. And I thought. So I had, like, in my head, I'm like, if it's weird, I'll just, you know, if I go to the place and it's like, you know, at a hostel or at like, a, you know, some sketchy, like, motel, he's like a guy, like, picking lint on his belly button. You know, I'm just gonna get out of there. But it was at, you know, like, a business complex in Studio City adjacent to Universal Studios walk in. You know, they brought me in through, like, the, like, underground, like, parking garages, and they're just like, you know, Bentleys and Beamers everywhere. And I go up and. And walk through this hallway, and he's got almost like, if you were a sport agent, how you would have all. Any players you represent. So there were anyone that was on the COVID of Penthouse, Playboy, Hustler, whatever. I'm walking through and sit there, Reception. It's like, his name is Derek, and Derek will be right with you. And I'm waiting, and there's porn on the coffee table in the waiting area. He calls me into his office and, and sits me down. He's like, so tell me, how did you grow up? What are you doing in la and what do you hope to accomplish?
Unknown Host
How did you grow up?
Joshua Broome
I know, but in retrospect, I didn't think about it, but.
Unknown Host
Looking for broken homes?
Joshua Broome
Yeah. Well, yeah. Did you grow up not having something that I can use to manipulate you to do what I want so I can extract value from you? 100%, yes. That's what he was saying, but I was too naive to hear it. How'd you grow up? Just me and my mom. Perfect. Should have been a red flag. It was a green flag for him. What are you doing in la? Modeling, acting. Doing what most people are out here doing. Trying to make it. Trying to live out my dream, whatever.
Unknown Host
What year is this?
Joshua Broome
This is 2000. 2006.
Unknown Host
2006.
Joshua Broome
And then he was like, well, what do you hope to accomplish? And I was like, yes, be famous. And what's sad about that is, you know, famous is, you know, objective. It's fictitious. Because, you know, if you think, you know, if enough people know, you know, how many people need to know who I am to equate to being famous? Like, how many followers do you need to have? What's the mark? And if there's no mark, there's no measure. If there's no measure, there's no reality. And if you get to the place that you thought if you would get to that you would feel some sort of way, and you don't, you just increase the measure. Being rich is the same way. It's like, if I had this, I would feel that over and over again. And we know the deal. It doesn't work. But I thought, man, if I become somebody, I will feel like I'm somebody. And again, what I was trying to do is I was trying to stack the scale in my favor enough where the kid that didn't have the dad would feel like I was wanted, seen, heard, known. He kind of spoke into all that. He's like, man, he's like, you've got acting experience. The porn industry is shifting. We're parroting all these movies. They're doing big films. Like, you can be the lead in all these. You can make a ton of money. Like, you can do, like, by doing the films and you can do, you know, marketing with this. I've got deals with clubs in Vegas. They'll bring you out, you'll sit in the VIP and they'll. They'll pay you $10,000 just to be there. You know, like all this stuff. And you know, like, my career was going okay, but I was having more success modeling than I was acting. I really wanted to act. That was my passion. But there was a part of me again, I couldn't shake that. Like, man, maybe I'm just not good enough to make it. At 22, your modeling career is not peaked out, but most people have their best years modeling 16 to 21. That's not definitively true across the board, but a lot of people do. Acting has this big, a lot longer range. And I just thought, man, I just don't have the capability of being successful because. What was that based on? Well, me comparing myself on my peers and a lot of people that, that were in the same network as me or even had the same agent as me, they were doing. They had booked their first lead role or they've done this and they've done that, and I hadn't quite done as much as they've done, so I must not be good enough. And I thought, man, maybe this is just a counterfeit version of the dream that I have and I should hop on this boat before it leaves because maybe this is as good as it's going to get for me.
Unknown Host
Did he tell you that as well during the meeting? Did he destroy your dreams of what you wanted to do to get what he wanted?
Joshua Broome
I did that to myself.
Unknown Host
You did that to yourself? He threw all this money and everything on you, right? Right at the get go.
Joshua Broome
Yeah. And I said, okay, well, where do we start? And it's so interesting because you were.
Unknown Host
Already in before you were in.
Joshua Broome
Yeah, well, at least I was like, well, I'll do one, you know, I'll do one. We'll see, you know. And he's like, okay, well, you gotta go get a full STD test and AIDS test. And when that panel comes back, it generally takes 24 hours. When that panel comes back, you know, I'll set up a shoot for you. And I was like, you know, great, sounds good. I was thinking like, all right, I'm gonna get paid to like, you know, take a camcorder and go, like, hook up with this hot girl. And then I'm gonna get a check. I do the test, I go there and it's full blown. Like any other biggest project I've done. I walk in as a receptionist and it's so interesting. I'd love to dig into this, come back to it. So they give me paperwork to sign. This is how you get paid. Sign here, sign here, sign here. So, so many people, they own the ip. Oh, yeah, yeah.
Unknown Host
All of it.
Joshua Broome
Yeah, all of it. 100%. So many people ask, you know, they just like, especially when they see that I'm a Christian and specifically see that I do ministry vocationally, they're like, well, did you give the money back? And what are you doing the, with the residuals? What are you doing with the royalties? Royalties and residuals don't exist in porn. You're a day rate employee and you give away everything. But not only do you sign away everything, what you're signing, the last thing you sign is, it's saying that they reserve the right to disperse and to sell to as many third parties forever. Time limit. So what happens is you do a porn and all of a sudden my pictures are on dating sites, my pictures are on sex toys, my pictures are on billboards. Am I compensated for any of that? No. But anyway, I sign all that paperwork and I walk in and there's girls in a makeup chair and. And like a big studio, there's catering, there's all this stuff. And then there's this, like, daybed and there's this like, sea of lights around this girl. And you know, the P.A. that's with me, he's like, that's the girl you're gonna be working with. She's taking some photos. She's taking some photos. And we'll need you about 30, 40 minutes. We understand this is your first time. So here's a vat Viagra. Put it in my hand. He's like, if you've never taken it before, I'd buy it in half. So I was like, oh, my gosh, like, what, you know, what have I gotten myself into? And I'm like, in the bathroom, like, you know, still, you know, pretty much a kid, you know, and I'm like talking to myself in the mirror, like, you know, what are you gonna do? And. And I felt like I'd gone too far to turn back. But again, everything. So intentional.
Unknown Host
You knew it wasn't the right thing, right?
Joshua Broome
Oh, man. Yeah. I mean, I'm just waiting on my mom to jump out and, like, judo chop me in the throat, but so intentional. I got picked up in a town car. I was not told the address that I was going to. So what did I have to do if I wanted to leave, I'd have to call the agent and say, hey, like a kid that went to a sleepover that changed their mind. Like, hey, you know, I'm scared. I want to come home. So I felt like I couldn't make that call. I think so many of us will do something, and we believe the lie that's from Satan. We'll believe a lie that's from Satan that you've gone too far to turn back, so your only choice is to keep going. And that's kind of what I did. So I popped the whole thing, drank a bottle of water, and walked out there and waited a few minutes. And, you know, when you take Viagra, you start to feel, like. Feel blotchy, like, in your chest. And I was like, am I gonna pass out? Like, what. You know, what's going on? And they kind of waved me over. And I never had any kind of interaction with the girl. Like, I never.
Unknown Host
Nothing.
Joshua Broome
Like, never talked to her. Like, I didn't even know, like, what her stage name was or real name was. I wasn't sure, because all you do is you. So you sign that. So they have photocopies of her ID and then a printout of her STD and AIDS test. And you have to see that the test is current, so it has to be 27 days or newer. And her ID has to be valid and not expired. So I had to look at that, match the names, and I had to sign that. I saw it. And that was the only interaction I had with her. Walk over to the. You know, to the scene, and, you know, pretty much the. You know, this is. This is still. This is, you know, somewhat back in the day. So, like, bigger cameras. So the director has this camera and the videographer has his. This big camera, and he's kind of, like, over my shoulder, and the girl is not looking at me, looking at the camera. So it's like, you know, the fantasy that you become to believe when you watch porn is there's this, like, intense connection between the girl and the guy. It's 100% disconnection.
Unknown Host
No kidding.
Joshua Broome
Well, because the director is telling you what to do and telling you how to do it. And you're not having sex for pleasure, you're having sex for show. So it literally has to show. So you're strategically doing it in a way that is visible. So it's very uncomfortable. And it's performance art at best. It's certainly not sex regarding what we would know it to be. So that happens. And I was like, man, I felt pretty disgusting afterwards.
Unknown Host
How long does it take?
Joshua Broome
I mean, you know, it just depends on, like, what's going on, what it is.
Unknown Host
How many people were in the room?
Joshua Broome
Probably 20.
Unknown Host
20 people?
Joshua Broome
Yeah, it was wild. I mean, like, again, like, there was a boom mic over my head. Someone literally, like holding a C light, like underneath my junk.
Unknown Host
Holy.
Joshua Broome
You know, camera A, camera B, someone shooting bts. You know, the most of the girls, they either have, you know, someone that's there with them, they would call them a boyfriend more often than not a pimp. That's. That's there watching, you know, sometimes.
Unknown Host
How many women had you slept with before this, approximately?
Joshua Broome
I mean, probably hundreds.
Unknown Host
Hundreds at 22.
Joshua Broome
Maybe not hundred, but probably a hundred.
Unknown Host
Man.
Joshua Broome
And. But I did that and I was like. I felt man. That was. And I just. I can't. I just always remember it. So on my way home, I'm in this town car going home, and it's like, what about afterwards? Hold on.
Unknown Host
What about afterwards? Is there any interaction with the other, with the woman with the talent?
Joshua Broome
No. Like, as soon as you finish, like, you move. Because, like, as soon as you orgasm, like, they want to take pictures of that. And then you get. You just like, you're done.
Unknown Host
You shuffled out.
Joshua Broome
Oh, yeah. And then they want to take photos and stuff. Yeah. So you're out of there. But it was like, it was so interesting. So there was like showers on set, but I remember there was like, there was not body wash in the shower. There was just like dial hand soap. And I was just like trying to wash myself with that. And then I'm in the town car and I'm on my way home and it's like I can still feel the, like lube in the hair on my legs. I just felt gross. And then I got home and I like, took this like, shower. Have you seen Redeeming Love?
Unknown Host
No, it's just.
Joshua Broome
It's a. It's a faith based film. But essentially there's a girl that works in a brothel. She meets a guy that has a faith, they connect, and he's kind of like trying to.
Unknown Host
Has a what? A faith.
Joshua Broome
A faith. Yeah. And he's trying to lead her to the Lord and also, like, wanting to be with her, but, like, for us to be together. Like, I want you to follow the Lord. And there's this point where she's in a man. I can just relate this so much where, like, there's something inside her that was craving. The only thing that she knew, which was chaos. Because, like, you know, he's in a. In a cottage, on a farm now. They're eating good food, but that's it. They're on a farm. It's just him and her. This is like, you know, this is pre television and Internet. You know, it's just them. It was like she was going crazy, not experiencing chaos. And she ended up going back to the brothel and she, you know, turned a trick and it didn't feel the same. And she felt so dirty and so disgusting. She couldn't believe that she went back to the thing that she wanted to be rescued from. And there's this scene where she's in this, like, river and she's got a rock and she's scrubbing her body, but what she's trying to scrub off is not on a surface level. And, man, I've took many of those showers.
Unknown Host
Damn.
Joshua Broome
But I was like, like, never gonna do it again.
Unknown Host
It hit you right off the bat. Oh, it was great before it even happened.
Joshua Broome
And I got paid, like, 500 bucks. And I was like, man, like, I paid 500 bucks to do that. And, like, I mean, it was not sexy. The girl was not super attractive. There was. There was nothing. There was no positive experience. Like, I mean, I could make 500, like, bartending at a bar in Hollywood. I mean, there's like 500 bucks for that. I'm like, what a mistake that was. You know, I'm out. But, you know, 2006, different world. So that I didn't realize that that scene was for the most popular website, the most popular porn website in America at that time. And they shoot like three to five scenes a day, and they post every day. So the turnaround was pretty quick. So it was up the next week.
Unknown Host
What was the website?
Joshua Broome
It was like, Naughty America or something like that. And it was like, so all of a sudden, a few of my fraternity brothers and then a few other people, I was like, dude, I saw you on this website. I saw you on this website. I saw you on this website. And then being from a small town. The thing about a small town, it only takes one person to know one thing about your life for everybody to know everything about your life. And someone told my uncle at work. And then my uncle told my mom. And then I get a phone call from my mom. And, you know, growing up in the south, like, how much of your name is used is how much trouble you're in? And I heard, you know, when I answered the phone, like, joshua Luke Broom, did you do a porn. Did you do a porno film? I was like. I was like, I did, mom. And like, in that moment, like, Satan just put his foot on my throat. Because I already believed there was something wrong with me. But I can remember it so clearly because when I heard the pain in her voice when she said, why did you do that? Satan said to me, see, you're exactly who you thought you were. You're not a kid that does bad things. You are bad. And then I begin to shrink and I begin to believe. Man, I hurt the only person that ever hurt me. Maybe I'm not even good enough to be her son. And then a few days go by, and then my manager calls me. Normally when they want me to come by, the agency to have an in person meeting is a good thing. It's like, hey, here's an offer on the table and you know, let's assess it. Do you want to accept it? Now your name's attached to you. A pornography website. That's a big problem for us. I think a lot of you. But we're gonna have to end our professional relationship. Fired. So now I'm like, now what? I blew up my whole life.
Unknown Host
Damn. On the very first one.
Joshua Broome
So then, like, well, what do I do? And then I began to believe the lie that the only thing that I could do as a 22 year old is continuing to do the very thing that created so much turmoil in my life. Because that was the only viable option. And in perfect timing, agent calls me, porn agent calls me. Hey, man, that scene went viral. I'd love to offer you a contract.
Unknown Host
Hold on. What did your mom say after you told her?
Joshua Broome
Yes, she was hurt. Disappointed. Told me that I probably needed to move back home.
Unknown Host
Damn.
Joshua Broome
And if I'm honest, I didn't know what to say. I didn't say anything because I didn't know what to say. You know, I didn't say I was sorry. I just kind of. Yeah, you know, I did it. I didn't know what to do, so I didn't say anything.
Unknown Host
How's your relationship with your mom today?
Joshua Broome
Oh, so good.
Unknown Host
It is.
Joshua Broome
Yeah.
Unknown Host
Good. I'm happy to hear that.
Joshua Broome
Yeah. But yeah, I mean that. That the porn agent Calls me and like, hey, you know, want to sign you to a contract? And so I doubled down. I was like, well, you know, I. I'd found some way to. For the most part, everything that I've done in life, I'm relatively successful at. And I thought, well, I have good work ethic. I have good communication and people skills. So I feel like I can really figure out this industry. So I. I feel like I can become the guy. And I did, you know, over seven years, I did over a thousand films, won around 20 different awards, directed for some big companies, wrote some movies, starred in, you know, some of the biggest, you know, grossing movies that they've, you know, ever put out, like, in the porn industry. And because they did crazy stuff, like, we. We did, like, we did a Star wars movie. And I played Han Solo. And like, it was thinking, like, most people just think, oh, they had sex. Like, well, it was shot over several months. Like, they. They built a replica, like, Millennial Falcon. Like, we had, like, actual, like, replicas of, like, guns and stuff and costumes, and grew my hair out and stuff. But, you know, and then as I'm doing that, it's like a little part of me was like, oh, this is art in a way. But it's like, still, you know, still porn. But doubled down and had a lot of success and got nominated for performer of the year four times. And I didn't win it until 2012. Won it in 2012. And I thought, man, if I ever won that award, award, that would solidify for me, you know, my worth. If I just won that award, like, I had this belief that, like, something would happen, like, something supernatural would just happen, like, in me, like, the. The feeling of, you know, worthlessness or inadequacy or whatever I wrestle with on the pillow at night, it'll just go away. If I won that award, then I won it. Nothing happened. And when nothing happened, everything got worse.
Unknown Host
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Joshua Broome
Foreign.
Unknown Host
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Joshua Broome
Yeah.
Unknown Host
Male performer of the year. And so, I mean, it sounds like you got, I mean, just a household name in the industry.
Joshua Broome
Yeah.
Unknown Host
And so, you know, we want. I really want to get a snapshot of what that lifestyle is like. And so a thousand plus films and how many years?
Joshua Broome
Six and a half.
Unknown Host
Six and a half years. So how much are you on camera performing?
Joshua Broome
Yeah, I mean, I was doing every day. Well, because like the industry, so the, the award show is in January and everyone's trying to get stuff turned in for the year to submit for that. So to make it. Because if something wins an award, then you know, it has notoriety, you can push it, et cetera. So kind of the industry doesn't shut down, but slows down significantly in December and January. So like, so really, like 10 month increments. You're. I was doing, you know, 20. 20 scenes a month minimum. And then during the summer sometimes, you know, I was shooting two, three times a day. I do. I think I've done like 40 something in a month. Was the most I did. But.
Unknown Host
Well, I mean, what constitutes an award?
Joshua Broome
Well, I mean, you know, is it.
Unknown Host
View counts? What is it?
Joshua Broome
So, I mean, there's used to be on Showtime, you know, it was voted by fans and the studios.
Unknown Host
Okay.
Joshua Broome
Yeah.
Unknown Host
And then, you know, you had mentioned on the first, on the first shoot, there was no interaction between you and the woman, at least verbally. And so as you, as you grew in that industry, I mean, there had to be more human interaction other than sexual energy, right?
Joshua Broome
Yeah.
Unknown Host
And so who, who are your. Like, what's the lifestyle? Who are your friends? What do you do? I mean, what is, what is it like?
Joshua Broome
Yeah, I mean, for the most part, like, you were friends with. And if you dated, you dated from inside the. The pool of the people who are in that industry. Like, your friend group wasn't exclusive to people who were just in an industry. But dating, it would be really hard to. Maybe not in today's age, but it was hard to kind of say, what do you, you know, you're. You're meeting someone, you know, at the gym or wherever you might meet someone, and, and you get to talking about what you do for a living. It's like, well, I'm a porn star. You know, that's probably not going to be someone you see yourself compatible with, maybe for a fling, but not a relationship, you know, so people would date from within the industry. And that, I think, was a large part of my mental and emotional demise, in that I was dating someone for a while in the industry for almost two years, and she was already popular, became even more popular. Who was it like? Asa Akira is her. You know her name. So she was. She's like the face of pornhub now. She's a spokesperson for pornhub. She's, you know, gone viral for multiple things, like crazy things she said. But. But she was, you know, she was my person at that time and. But the.
Unknown Host
You guys still interact?
Joshua Broome
No, no. I mean, I haven't. I haven't spoke to her since, well over 10 years. But the thing was, if all of my friends are in that industry and my girlfriend is in that industry, you live in this suppression of reality in that we would say that we were in a monogamous relationship while having sex with other people. Just calling the work in which we did or calling us having sex with other people at work, we would just call that work. It wasn't sex. It was just work. So they didn't count. And we suppressed that as reality. But what we claimed as reality is that we were in a monogamous relationship because off camera and on camera were two different realities. But then you're faced with. I'm sitting at Mastro's in Beverly Hills with a friend of mine, and he's there with his girlfriend. And my friend had had sex with my girlfriend on Monday, and I had sex with his girlfriend that day. And we're pretending as if that's not real and it's not problematic to the atmosphere. And when you suppress reality, chaos is a promise.
Unknown Host
Is it an outward appearance or. I mean, is it always in your head?
Joshua Broome
I don't think.
Unknown Host
Or do you actually trick your mind into.
Joshua Broome
Oh, yeah. I mean, I was in a place where, I mean, I could have sex, you know, and I would. Would. I would do them. It's like I would have sex in a. In a theater in front of hundreds of thousands of people, and especially in Europe, and not think twice about it.
Unknown Host
Wait, what?
Joshua Broome
Yeah, they would have live sex shows used to be a thing. Like now, you know how people.
Unknown Host
Hundreds of thousands of people.
Joshua Broome
Yeah. Or you know how now it's become popular to take your podcast on the road to have that live element. Well, instead of watching a porn you know, on a screen you would watch it happen live. That was a thing for a while, but that I could do that drop of the hat. Like no, no problem at all. Like, you know, not face me, but you look me in the eye and shake my hand. Tears would stream down my face because that was real. It was terrifying.
Unknown Host
Geez.
Joshua Broome
Like that's how much I had suppressed reality.
Unknown Host
When's the first time you did it live in front of a live audience?
Joshua Broome
I think it was in probably two years in. But it was either in Vegas or was one of the first times. And then like stuff like that happens a lot, like in Europe or like Barcelona just to.
Unknown Host
Do you remember the first time? I don't, no.
Joshua Broome
Everything just became so like there was no interaction that was more special than the others. The only thing that like, like I have like real memories around is like the roles I played where there was like significant, you know, there was a script to learn, a character to play, things that were outside of, you know, the, the sex aspect. Because in a porn, you know, because like Star wars we filmed, you know, over three or four months, there's five sex scenes, you know, which takes, you know, a few hours to film. So like there was a lot of the movie that wasn't sex. So I just like that, like that whole thing, that whole experience was very memorable to me. But yeah, I mean, the sex, it just, the sex and the people, it just.
Unknown Host
So everybody had convinced themselves that, you know, it was in a monogamous relationship inside that industry. Everybody had convinced themselves mentally that this is on screen, doesn't matter, or off.
Joshua Broome
Screen, this is even. Yeah. Or either that or the polar opposite of like they're all in and they're swingers 24 7. And like sex is just, you know, sex and high fiving someone, it's all the same. Let's just have a party, have fun, you know, because some people, like, some people could like work as a director and someone be having sex with their, you know, significant other and they would just film it and it would just be whatever or you know, and I just, for me, like again, single parent, you know, like my mom was young, she's a beautiful woman. Like I remember like throwing cans of corn like at a guy trying to talk to my mom. Like, get away from my mom. I'm gonna protect my mom. So like jealous kid turned into jealous boyfriend, which turned into. Even though I was in that industry, I was like, that was my girl. I didn't want to touch her, which is how I felt. But I Had to suppress that feeling because of what I said. And I think that would be, you know, bring up an interesting point where people say, you know, I love what I do. Well, if you love what you do, let's, let's, you know, go back to that moment where I said yes to being in the porn industry. Well, I'm going to make. I'm going to make you famous. Okay, Derek, you're going to make me famous. What's the first thing I do? What's next? You know? Okay, well, we got to pick you a. A name to go by. Sorry, I gotta pick you a name to go by. You go by pseudonym. Because if I can get you to detach yourself from who you are, you will do things that are outside of and different than things that you would ever do. Like, you think about social media, the antagonist on the other side that's talking trash to everyone online. What are two things that are always common of that person? They have an obscure username and they have a meme or a random photo as their photo. Because if I can detach who I am from what I do, then I'm not held accountable for what I do. So it's not me doing the things in the porn industry. Very same thing. I'm going to get you to go by a pseudonymous because I can get you to detach yourself from your humanity.
Unknown Host
That's interesting.
Joshua Broome
So that was, that was the first thing I did. So kind of, you know, with that, you know, that thought, like in our mind, you know, who I am, it began to matter less and less.
Unknown Host
So is there drugs and alcohol? Is there a lot of that involved?
Joshua Broome
I mean, it's interesting. It's. It's really interesting because, like, drugs and alcohol on set, like, there was some of that before me. Like there was, you know, there was always, like times or if it was like, if it was like a live shoot, kind of like everything's kind of out the window. There's no rules, you know, but for the most part.
Unknown Host
What do you mean, a live shoot?
Joshua Broome
Like what I was like a live show?
Unknown Host
Like a live show?
Joshua Broome
Yeah, where it's like we're filming something happening live and it's streaming or someone's watching. So we're not creating, you know, a curated and, you know, crafted and edited product. Like, if we're creating that, then they want a more controlled environment. So if you showed up to set drunk or high, you would get sent home, because more often than not, like in la, you would have to get a permit to film porn and A lot of times they would come by and check for your permit. And when they would check for the permit, they're trying to get a peek. But I didn't see a lot of like that onset. But is it part of the industry? 100%. But it's more so to deal with the consequence of what you did in contrast of being able to do what you did. You know, people aren't getting drunk and high on set to do the scene. They're getting drunk and high because they did the scene.
Unknown Host
Interesting.
Joshua Broome
And then once addiction sets in, those things start to bleed into each other. I mean, there were certainly like. There were certainly like times where people came to set drunk, high, you know, all the things. I mean, I've seen it all. I mean, part of the reason I'm so passionate about talking about it is as of today, over 40 people have committed suicide or died of overdose. Every roommate I've ever had, except one dead. And these are people not just like total in the industry. These are people I knew personally, like friends of mine, people we had meals with, traveled places together, people I knew. And when they would die, the porn industry would make a compilation film of their best ofs. Why? To monetize on the thing in which caused their demise.
Unknown Host
Geez.
Joshua Broome
Wow.
Unknown Host
Was there. What should I be asking you? Yeah, I mean, about the industry.
Joshua Broome
I mean, just the. Just paint a picture of how like, fictitious it is. I mean, I mean, like, the girls are using numbing cream. The girl, the. All the guys are using erectile dysfunction medication. You know, there were some directors that would require you to use cavarjack. So Caver Jack is, you know, for paraplegic, you know, people where, you know, you would inject something into the cavern of your penis and, you know, you would have. Have an erection for, you know, three or four hours. It doesn't matter if you're reading the newspaper or, you know, whatever. And then the danger is if you use too much, then you've. You've got to go to the hospital, get lanced because it's not going to subside, you know, or you use it for long enough, then you become dependent on it.
Unknown Host
I mean, was sex even enjoyable? No, you know, like real, like real sex with your. With your. Whoever you're in a monogamous relationship with.
Joshua Broome
Yeah.
Unknown Host
I mean, is that how I mean?
Joshua Broome
Well, I mean, for the mo. Like for the most part, like, even if you did that, you would like, because I work so much, I would like, not finish because I was like, you know, you'd want to Save your orgasm, you know, because the quantity was important. Because if that wasn't there and they couldn't capture what they needed, then, you know, they would be upset. Yeah. So when you had sex, it was like, yeah, not that often. Not unless you had a, you know, big break and you went on a vacation or something like that.
Unknown Host
Wow.
Joshua Broome
It was like, you know, it was almost like, you know, if you worked at Krispy Kreme and you love donuts, like, the last thing that you would want to do is eat donuts. But yeah, and I think just like the. Like when. So the agent that I had. When. The agent that I had. When girls would come into the industry, they'd ask them their no list, right. So things you don't want to do, you know, anal, stuff like that. Like, what do you not want to do? So on your no list. And then, you know, if a director would ask, well, you know, does this girl do this? No, it's on the no list. But the way that worked was, like, in the industry, your no doesn't really mean no. It means bigger number. Yeah. So the way that the poor agents would work is there would be things that girls wouldn't do. And after a period of time, if their popularity would start to subside, they're not getting as many requests. They would go to a few studios and say, hey, how much would you pay for such and such to do analysis? You know, 15k, 20k, 30k, 30k. Okay. Highest bidder. Then he would go back to the girl. It's like, hey, out of nowhere, this studio just said that they would give you $30,000 if you would be willing to do anal. And I know you said you didn't want to do it, but, you know, you're not getting as many requests as you had been in the past. And, you know, you do that, you know, they'll make a big deal of it, you'll become relevant again, and then your career is just going to start to, you know, skyrocket. She does it. But what happens? What she never wanted to do and she did one time becomes something that she does all the time. Because once she does it, it loses, you know, it's whatever. And they would just do that with girls over and over and over again at the same time. They would convince them to do escorting, and it's like, you know, they would spend weekends or go on trips, you know, with guys, and it's like, well, you know, there's a check and there's a test. As long as there's a Check and a test, it's all the same is the way they would present it to them. We're making, we're making the client get, you know, the same STD and AIDS panel so they're clean and you're getting paid. So they just convinced them that, you know, so that they were, you know, they were trafficking them. Wow. Because it wasn't on like a public site. It was, you know, it wasn't quite on the dark web, but it wasn't far from it or not. You know, this guy Derek, like, he ended up, you know, serving time for sex trafficking because he was, he was extorting girls. He would bring girls in from different countries, get them fake IDs, have them paid in cash, living in his own house, charging them rent to pay in their house, taking some of their money that they were getting paid as their agent and their landlord and making the people who paid them pay them in cash. So he would take the money and he decided how much they got. Shit, I'm going to go somewhere pretty dark. So I. So with guys, you know, they would ask, do you want to do like VIP parties? Do you want to like bartend or whatever? Like you'd bartend shirtless and you'd make, you know, 10, 20,000 bucks. And I would do stuff like that sometimes. And it was almost like, you know, it's kind of what we're talking about. Like, how do you, how do you ever get to, you know, this place? Like, how do you go from here to here? Like, how do you go from, you know, me personally? The first magazine that ever saw that like created a sexual thought in my head. It was like, it was, I think it was like Mac. No, like gq, like, or the swimsuit version of like Maxim or something like that. But it was just like a see through bathing suit. Like, how did I go from there to like watching hardcore porn? You know, so doing porn, getting paid for sex, then doing these bartender bartending stuff. And then there was a high profile company in the fashion industry that would have these parties and they would bring out guys and girls to do these parties. And, you know, girls would walk around, naked guys would walk around, you know, in boxers, whatever, serve everyone drinks. And I went there, it was in Paris. And long story short, I went there and got drugged and raped by the owner of a very well known fashion, what used to be the CEO of a very well known fashion organization. And when that happened to me, I thought it was my fault. This is what I signed up for, you know, this is who I am. And then I started, like, trying to sabotage. I was like, towards the end of my career, so it's like, started trying to sabotage myself and started making a pretty clear plan to take my life. And he kind of looked up like, I had this pretty strong pain medication, you know, like, how many pills would do the trick? Okay, well, take that number, maybe add two more. And I put them on the counter and I'd separate them. It's like I took, you know, old school vitamins. So you should take like the, like, Vita pack, like an animal pack or whatever. I'd take like 40 vitamins at once. So I'm like. I knew, like, I take a lot of pills at once, so I separated them so I could make sure I would get them down, swallow them, I wouldn't chicken out. And I set them up like that time after time after time. I just could never do it. And then this one day, I was filming in Atlanta, and it was like. It was just like. It was a disgusting shoot. Like, people were, like, urinating on each other, like, spitting on my face, in my mouth, stuff like that. I'm just like, what have I become? I was like, I want to die. I can't undo what I've done. Got more money than I thought I would ever see growing up. Food stamps, trailer, government housing. Got a nice Breitling collection and nice home. Do all the stuff. But I'm miserable. And this is what I've made in my life. There's no hope. There's no hope. There's no way out. But I needed someone to agree with me. So I got paid from that scene. And the directors, on the memo, the checks, they would always write something grotesque. Like if the title of the movie wasn't sexually explicit enough, they would write something being antagonistic, knowing that you're gonna have to give that check to someone. And I normally wouldn't do that. I would just ATM Dropbox, you know, anything other than handed to a person. But on this day, that was going to be my formula. I put the water on the counter, I lined up the pills. The Wachovia that I banked at was across the street from the place that I lived. And I walked over there, had the check, waited in line, handed the check to the teller, and I waited.
Unknown Host
What did it say on the check?
Joshua Broome
It's like some kind of gang bang or like something like that. And I wanted that person to, you know, some look of disgust. Best case scenario, that would say, like, you know, how sick are you? Or something. She said, nothing. You Know, deposited the check, handed me the receipt. You know, I got tears streaming down my face and pale, shaking. And I defeated because I didn't get what I wanted. I didn't know what to do. And then I look up and she had walked around the counter and she put her hand on my shoulder and she said, joshua, are you okay? Okay, Joshua, can I get you some help? And Sean, that was the first time I had heard my real name in 18 months.
Unknown Host
Wow.
Joshua Broome
And it just like. It just like woke me up. And I beined it to my place and I called my mom and I hadn't. You know, my mom had been calling and texting me, didn't respond. I thought, you know, she's just reaching out to me because she feels like she has to. But I've lost the right of being her son. I've disqualified myself. I think it was my pride, shame. But I called her, and when she answered the phone, she lit me up. She, you know, good Southern mama. She cussed me out, you know, for. She was worried about me. But then she said everything that I didn't think she would. She said, oh, I will always love you and you will always be my son. And you're so much better than the way you're living. Please come home. So right then and there, I called everybody I needed to call. I quit. I quit. I quit. And I subleased my place pretty quickly and left la. And when I left, I didn't think I could change. And I didn't have any kind of. It wasn't any kind of spiritual awakening. But I do think that was the Holy Spirit in that bank. But very quickly I thought, okay, you know, what do I have? What do I have that I can use? Okay, well, you know, I'd been doing CrossFit for a while. I got a level one certification. Maybe I can coach CrossFit. I got an exercise science background, a little bit strength conditioning. You know, understand that maybe I can get into that. And then I did, you know, the formula that I knew that worked. Find a good mentor, double down, work really hard, get some credentials, build a kingdom for myself. I was working with this guy, Jason Davidson. He was the strength conditioning coach for the Carolina Hurricanes. He was leading the Thor program at Fort Bragg. Plugged me into some right circles, bows for me. And all of a sudden, you know, I had. What I like to say is, I put enough good dirt on bad dirt so I didn't look dirty because I couldn't change. I didn't believe I could. But what I thought I could do is I could manage people's perception of me. And if I did enough good, it would outweigh the bad. That was impossible for me to run from. And I spent about two years doing that.
Unknown Host
I mean, when you were. Before you left the industries, I mean, was it a buildup of misery or was it literally that one scene or was that one shoot the last straw?
Joshua Broome
That one shoot, that. That last shoot was the last straw. But it was, you know, the relationship. So that relationship got more toxic. It went from us being at dinner where we had sex with the other person across the table to her wanting to talk about stuff that was happening on set, like in our home. And it was interesting because I was like, man, I need to man up. It shouldn't bother me, but it does. And I think we look at men in today's society, it's like we're struggling with a mental health crisis because we pretend like we're okay when we're not. And the inevitable fact of pretending like you're okay when you're not, the thing that's not okay is not going to get better. It's going to get worse. So I allowed that to be part of our relationship or her to tell me stuff that she was doing with other people. And pretending like that was arousing to me. And I think, again, just like, further and further compromising, like myself as an individual and suppressing reality led to combustion, you know, internally.
Unknown Host
Yeah. You're trying to convince yourself to change what you know is right and wrong.
Joshua Broome
Yeah. I mean, again, like the. The jealous kid and, you know, in the grocery store is still the jealous kid that I don't want anyone to look at my girlfriend. Now I'm saying that I'm okay with people having sex with her. But. Yeah, so I mean, that progression and just the reality of, like, me having sex with as many people as I did and it just becoming the most arbitrary thing in the world, is incredibly dangerous for your mental and emotional health. For me to walk into, you know, a light, you know, this studio and a girl to be sitting there and for me not to talk to her or anything, and I just walk up to her and start having sex with her, and then there's a bunch of cameras around and I'm doing it for these cameras, and then I orgasm and then leave. And that's my job. That's what I do for my career. That's what I do, you know, four or five days a week. And I do that for, you know, short of a decade, like that's I mean that's, that's going to damage you significantly.
Unknown Host
Was there any talk within the industry on your way out about or just anytime at all in there about things that other people were struggling with or.
Joshua Broome
Oh yeah, I mean, there was, there was, yeah. I mean suicide is rampant in the. Suicide and over like people who are dying of overdose. Probably five. I think last time I looked around 500 people have died of overdose, suicide and murder over the last 20, 25 years. And murder. Because if you believe little of your, you know, if you believe little yourself, you're going to end up in a relationship where that person thinks little of you and there's abuse and that abuse turns into, you know, you losing your life. And like the amount that happening that's documented is pretty astronomical. And then just, I mean, you know, we were talking about, not to change the topic, but we were talking about Guardian Angels. It's like, man, there was HIV outbreaks like in the industry. You know, like there were people I had unprotected sex with that had hiv, that they died. There was an HIV outbreak that was big enough in the industry that it shut down for, you know, not, not a long time, but around two months. Yeah.
Unknown Host
I mean, were there ever any open discussions about it? I mean, did you have any, any friends in the industry where you would have these like, talks with about leaving or about things that were affecting you or anything like that? Or was everybody wearing a mask?
Joshua Broome
Yeah, I mean, I call it a first date mask, you know, where you don't know who you are, but you pretend to be whoever you think the person across from you wants you to be so that you can appease them or so that they would like you. Because you don't really know who you are or you believe who you are doesn't have any value. But I'll say there's this, like, there's this generally across the board, there was this belief that, you know, doing something outside of the industry, the longer that you stayed in the industry was impossible. So the only like the best possible outcome is that you have a good long standing career in the industry and then one of the studios that you worked for a lot, you get hired on as a director and then you work as a director. You know, that that was the, the next hopeful progression. Because not being in the porn industry wasn't an option. Because being in the porn industry meant you couldn't do anything else. At least that's what he wanted. You believe, I mean, for example, Cagney Lynn Carter, she was a Great friend of mine, she got in a little bit after me, stayed in much longer than me, much later than me. And I think it was last year she had left the industry, opened a dance studio. She was like a ballet dancer in her teens, something she still was passionate about. And she opened up a place, but everyone around her was like, you can do whatever you want. You can say that your name is whatever, but I know who you are. You'll never escape from that. You'll always be that person. And she tried really hard. It is so sad, bro, because she took her life. And the day that she took her life, she posted a photo of herself on the beach saying, I'm free. But what's true is she was in prison. I wanted to leave the industry. I wanted to do something else. But you begin to believe that. That you can't. And it's not something you do. It's who you are. And if the only thing in which you can do is to sell yourself for sex, then your no loses its volition. It loses its validity. Your no loses its validity. Because if the only thing that you can say yes to is selling yourself for sex, then you can't say no to anything. So you say yes to everything. And it's just so sad, man.
Unknown Host
Yeah.
Joshua Broome
I mean, just to think it, you know, I was sharing with someone, you know, there's, you know, 40, 40 of my friends. Suicide, overdose. Those porns are still there. You know, it's like, man, if I could encourage someone that's watching that now, it's like, man, you know, there's this. Like, there's all these things that are true, while you don't know if there was force, fraud, or coercion regarding the scene that you're watching. You don't know how old that person is. You don't know if they gave consent. And then in this situation, what I'm saying is you don't know if the thing in which they did caused them so much pain and hurt that it led to their death. And you're partaking in the thing in which caused their demise, and you're extracting pleasure from it. And that person is dead because of what they did, and they're still making money off of it. I mean, it's crazy. I mean, past. Right before November 4th, last big push from the Harris Walsh campaign, they ran ads on Pornhub in seven different states. Why? 120 million viewers a day, and they ran an ad saying it was someone that, you know, a character that somewhat resembled Trump walking in this. It Was so gross. It was so gross. There was this guy masturbating underneath a blanket, and he was looking at his phone, and someone that looks like Trump comes in and takes the phone away and says, if you don't want to lose your right to watch porn, you better vote in the same way that you want to consume that.
Unknown Host
Are you shitting me?
Joshua Broome
No. Seven states ran those ads.
Unknown Host
What states?
Joshua Broome
I'm not sure.
Unknown Host
Geez.
Joshua Broome
I mean, I would assume very left states. But we're about to get to a point in the story that's pretty cool.
Unknown Host
Yeah. Yeah, man, they really trap you.
Joshua Broome
Oh, yeah.
Unknown Host
Had you known anybody that had made it out?
Joshua Broome
I know one girl. I don't know one guy. Well, I know guys that have made it out. I don't know guys who are whole and healthy. For example, a good friend of mine, his name's Greg. His porn name is Randy Spears. He even had a character on Family Guy, and he lives in San Antonio, and he still goes by Randy Spears. You know, he's got a normal job. You know, he's not in the porn industry anymore. He's about 10 years older than me. But, you know, I talked to him and it's like, you know, he called me Rocco. Like, when he called, I called him and left him a voice memo or a voice message because he didn't answer. And when he called me back, he called me Rocco and he. He said that he was Randy, and he sent me his social text me, his social media and Randy Spears. And I think it's this belief that who I am could never supersede that Persona. So I'm going to cling on to that because my worth is so much less than this. So, yeah, I know one person named Brittany. She lives in Santa Barbara with her husband Richard. They're actually both in ministry. They actually help girls that are in trafficking or like prostitution. They kind of help them get back on their feet. But, yeah, like, she's the only person that I know.
Unknown Host
Are any of them reaching out to you? Anybody? Like, like, like, how do we get out of this?
Joshua Broome
Tons, every day. And it's like. And, you know, some people very frustrated with me because I. I mean, there's still people who are in the industry that are very successful that either I, you know, I mentored or were good friends to me because, you know, a lot of the guys who were younger when I was in the industry, you know, they were like, you know, how do I do this? How do I do this? Right? How do I make a career out of this? You know, how do I, you know, because the thing that I was best at was, well, I understood, well, if you get relational equity with a director, then he's going to hire you often, he's going to recommend you to other people. I understood networking, I understood relationships. And it's like, I wasn't. I was a good actor, you know, but I cared about people and I remembered people's names and, you know, so, like, simple stuff was the things that allowed me to be very successful in that industry. And I was just teaching them simple things that worked well for them. But I've had conversations, as of recently, you know, as recent as a month ago, of people who are very, very successful in the industry today that have been in the industry, you know, now, you know, approaching 15, 20 years, saying, man, I thought we were friends. And I was like, what do you mean by that? He's like, you say all this stuff about the industry. I'm like, yeah, man, I detest the industry with every fiber of my being, and I think it's vile and evil, but I love you. I don't have to agree with what you're doing. I mean, I understand you find identity in that, so I understand why that feels offensive to you. But I don't have any animosity towards you. I wish you would do something different with your life. Because the reality is, bro, if you are girls, also, if you're in the top 3 to 5% of any industry, you have the capacity of being excellent at another trade and being more successful, that you have charisma and gifts and talents that you are misappropriating. But if you surrender and you submit to your life, to the person of Jesus Christ and allow him to take the things that he put in you and point them in the right direction, guess what? You're going to 10x your success. And it's going to be something that you're doing that is fulfilling because it's going to be the thing that you're made to do. So, yeah, I don't hate you. I hate the choices that you're making, but I don't hate you. And they just don't get it. So there has been a lot of situations that I wish that I could have had the conversation in person.
Unknown Host
Yeah. So you leave the industry, come across vet trainer. I mean, how many people are coming up to you that recognize you?
Joshua Broome
So, day one, I'm living now in Raleigh, North Carolina, and first thing I do, I'm like, you know what? I've got a Celtic cross tattoo. On my shoulder that for some reason in my mind, like, I'm not walking around with my shirt off, But I'm like, I know that is on a hundred, you know, covers of porn. You know, I'm gonna get that covered up. So I get it covered up. I got, like a. I got a fish, like, coming out of water, like, you know, freaking cool, you know, But I got that covered up and shaved my head, deleted my social media, and it's like, Rocco Reed gone dead. New life, walking to a Whole Foods. Like, literally, I haven't even moved into my place yet, and guy in the meat section is like, rock or Reed? I was like, are you kidding me? And then it just continued to happen over and over again. And then I'm just kind of like, I was kind of found, you know, I was found out, but I just kind of, you know, deflect from it. And I was just trying to build, like, I'm a trainer. I'm a trainer. I'm a trainer. I'm a good trainer. I'm a good trainer. I got a lot of personal training clients, you know, making money. I'm doing good. I'm helping people. I'm doing good. And two years of that and two years in, this girl comes into the gym. She's wearing, like, all Iowa Hawkeye cheerleading stuff. So she had obviously, you know, was an alum that was very proud that she had cheered at Iowa. Gorgeous, Best athlete in the gym. But she was different in that she worked really hard. She would kick everybody's butt in the workout. She was a gymnast, so she could you know, all this, like, old school CrossFit. Like, if you could walk with your hands and, like, do stuff like that. Like, if you were good at that, like, you already had a, you know, an edge over everybody else. But she was just better than everybody. And I was just fascinated about, you know, with her. And she was gorgeous. So I asked her on a date, and she was like, I'm good. I'm in love. You know, rejection, you know? So I asked her out a bunch of times, and she was finally like, well, I go for a long run before church on Sunday mornings. If you want to meet me at this park, we can go for a run. And I was like, all right, you know, I'll take whatever I can get. And I get there, and I'm there early, and I'm waiting. And I started thinking, I'm like, man, you know, Christmas party and, like, a few other parties we have. Like, she didn't really hang out that much. She's always at the gym, but after the workout, if she's not, like, doing extra work or whatever, like, she's not hanging out and mingling. Like, she's not.
Unknown Host
Like, she's not looking for fronts.
Joshua Broome
Yeah. And so AKA she doesn't know my story.
Unknown Host
She doesn't.
Joshua Broome
No. And I'm like, man, if she knew who I was, she would not, you know, agree to this. And there was just, like, some conviction that I had. I'm like, man, I need to be forthcoming with this. Not something I'd done, you know, in the past. And when she got there, like, the run never made its way to a run, or, you know, it was maybe a brisk walk. And I was like, hey, I just want to. I want to share something with you. It's gonna, you know, be a little heavy. She's like, okay, you know, what's up? And I was like, you know, kind of, like, laid out my guts, you know. I was like, man, I'm this kid that his daddy didn't want. And I did all this poured, and it's still all over the Internet. And like, every bad thing I've ever done that creates shame in my life, you know, it's on the Internet forever. This is who I am. And she was just like, holy crap. You know, like, super taken back. And she didn't say anything. We just continued to walk. You know, she didn't say a word. And I didn't know if she was mad or she was going to slap me or. You know, I didn't know I was going to. Am I going to get fired? You know, I was just thinking, like, all these. Then she stopped, and she looked at me like, you know, she was an elementary teacher. There's a look that like a mom or a teacher has. And she just looked at me with this, like, she's like, hey, I don't want to minimize the pain that you've experienced in your life, and I don't want to negate the. The real problems that your decisions have made for you. But I want you to know that you're not defined by the worst thing you've ever done. And you won't be defined by the greatest thing you ever do, because there's one author of you, and it's not you, it's God. Do you know who that is? Do you know God? And I was like, maybe I went to church a little bit when I was a kid because my grandmother, my grandfather, they went to church. They had a faith. I was like, I know of God. I Certainly don't know God. And she was like, well, I've been following Jesus since I was in the seventh grade, and I'm not perfect by any means, but my foundation that I live from is from my relationship with him. The way I live my life is contingent on my relationship with him. So what kind of food do you like? I was like, what are you, like, an alien or something? Like what? Like, what are you talking about? Like, you don't want me to leave? Like, she's asking me about smart goals. I'm like, dude, I don't know what an acronym is. Like, what are you talking about? Like. Like, I had the worst of intentions with you. Like, my plan A, B, and C is to hook up with you. You know, I don't. I have no idea. You know, and then we just walked and talked, and she asked me questions that I didn't think of for a long time. You know, like, what do I want to, like, in the gym industry? Would you ever want to own a. The gym? You know, what's your relationship like with your family? Like, do you, like, would you ever want to have kids? You know, just asking me things that, like, I. Like, honestly, like, I feel like it had been so long of, like, me thinking like, that. I was, like, reaching for humanity. I didn't know if I still had. That went on for, you know, we. We walked and talked for, like, probably two hours. And then, you know, she. You know, we went separate ways and, you know, text like high school idiots for a week. And then on Saturday, she was like, hey, I would love for you to come with me to church. And I was like, wherever you're going, yes. You know, I'll be there. Wherever the pretty girl's going, yes. And she had, like. She had been catalytic for, like, some curiosity. I'm like, what in you allowed you to respond to me like that? You know, like, there's this really great book I love, Master Plan of Evangelism. Robert E. Coleman wrote it, and he talks about how it's good to tell people something, but it's better to show them. People are often not looking for an explanation. They're looking for a demonstration. And I think Colossians 4, like, Paul's talking about, hey, I'm in prison for preaching the gospel, but I'm praying for opportunities to preach the gospel. And I'm praying to do it with clarity, and I'm praying to do it with tact. You know, I want to be wise towards outsiders, and most importantly, man, allow my speech to be gracious. And seasoned with salt. So I might know how I ought to answer each person. Because how I respond matters. How I respond to the individual in front of me. Not a blanket statement. The person in front of me, how I am aware, how I'm intentional, how I react is important. And the way that she reacted to me, like, it was like, wow, dude. And she invited me to church, and we went there, and I thought, you know, am I gonna, like, set, you know, into. Am I gonna catch on fire when I walk in? You know? Like, I certainly have no business here is what I was thinking. And then, you know, my. My only, like, I think a lot.
Unknown Host
Of people can relate to that.
Joshua Broome
Yeah, I mean, I thought.
Unknown Host
You know, I thought the same thing when I walked in.
Joshua Broome
Yeah.
Unknown Host
Totally different reason. Maybe not so different, but I get it.
Joshua Broome
Yeah. I mean, I thought, you know, if you had, you know, tattoos on your arm and wrinkles on your shirt, like, you're going to hell. You know, that's what I thought. And then I saw a man with tattoos and, you know, a T shirt and jeans, like, get up on stage preaching. And he told the story of 2 Samuel, chapter 9. And just to provide a little bit of context, so 2 Samuel, chapter 9, it's King David. David had just rebuilt the temple, and now he's kind of at the pinnacle of his reign as king, and he's just rebuilt the temple, and he had done something for God. And then he was asking himself introspectively, lord, what can I do for your people to show your loving kindness to me? How can I reciprocate the love that I've experienced from you to your people? And then he's like, oh, yeah, I made this promise to my friend Jonathan. So Jonathan was the son of Saul. Saul. His kingdom was stripped from him when he sinned. And then David was chosen and anointed to be king. And then there was this conflict between Saul and David and Saul had a son, Jonathan. And Jonathan and David were great friends. And Jonathan even was like, hey, I know my dad's, like, trying to, like, throw spears at you and, like, trying to kill you. And, like, he's, you know, kind of lost it. If he's plotting on you, I'm going to have your back. I'm going to let you know. And then David said, hey, I'm going to make this covenantal promise with you that I'm going to show you love and affection, not only to you forever, but to your family as well. Now, fast forward, he's remembering this, and he's saying, man, how can I show this to, you know, God's people? And he's, oh, I wonder if there's anyone left out of the house of Saul. And he. He finds a guard. Ziba is the guard's name. And he served under Saul. And he's like, hey, is there anyone left? And he's like, yeah, Mephibosheth. Mephibosheth was the son of Jonathan, but he's in this place called Lo Debar. It means place of no pasture. He's in hiding because he was, you know, when he was around, like, five or six years old, when his dad and his grandfather, when John, Jonathan, and Saul were killed in battle, there was this hierarchy where he was next in line to be king. But David was chosen, anointed to be king. So if David had his right place on the throne, historically, if there was an opposing person that could potentially cause an upheaval, they were identified and eradicated. That was the plan. So he was in hiding because he thought his head was on the chopping, chopping block. David goes, finds him, brings him in front of him, and Mephibosheth is like, you know, doomsday. Today's the day I'm going to die. I've been found. And David says, actually, I'm going to give to you. I'm going to restore back to you your grandfather's land, which is part of Canaan, so the promised land. I'm going to give you access back to your land, and I'm going to invite you into my kingdom. And I want you to have a seat at my table. Not for a day, not for a week, but forever. You are now part of this family. And I was like, wow, this is amazing. It's a beautiful picture of grace. But 2 Samuel, chapter 9, verse 8. Mephibosheth. How does he respond to this? Does he like, wow, you know, God is so good. Wow, this is amazing. No, he refers to himself as a dead dog. He says, what would you want to do with a dead dog like me? I was like, yeah, that's it. Because before, he was talking about man. Romans 3:23 says that we've all sinned and fall short of the glory of God, so Everybody's guilty. Romans 6:23. The wages of sin is death. So if we're all guilty and that guilt equates to death, eternal separation from God, if that's true for everyone, then, okay, I'm on the same playing field. But then you're talking about this grace of God. I'm like, okay, Romans 10, 9. Whoever confesses with their mouth that Jesus is Lord and believe that he was raised on the third day will be saved. I'm like, this is amazing. But then I still find myself, don't you know who I am? Don't you know what I've done? Don't you know who my daddy is? Don't you know even he didn't want me? And then he read Hebrews 12, 2. It talks about how Jesus went to the cross with joy in his heart set before him, scorning our shame, before he sat down at the right hand of God. And I'm like, joy, you're talking about that? Okay, Jesus was fully God, fully man. So fully perfect. He's omniscient, he's all knowing. So an all powerful, all knowing God went to the cross, okay? He was obedient to his Father, so that makes sense. But why would he have joy in his heart? And then it hit me. Because he loves me. Because he loves me. God loves me. And I just kept saying it to myself over and over and over again. And I fell to my knees and I started to cry. I'm not sure what happened that day, but when I stood up, you know, I gave my life to Jesus the best I knew how. And what I felt when I stood up was the ruck was off my back. And I understood that the Father that I always wanted, he gave me pictures of shielding me and protecting me and walking with me and fighting for me and believing the best about me. That's why Romans 5, 8 is so powerful. Like, while knowing the worst thing you've ever done, Jesus went to the cross and died for you. It talks about how you wouldn't do that. That for a bad person, maybe for a righteous person, but not someone that had done the things that we did that put him on the cross. Like, no way. While knowing the worst thing you've ever done, the thing that you would not want to say out loud, he knows that. And he chooses you. Why? Because he loves you. And that love, it changed me that day. It didn't fix all my problems. I was still very much a knucklehead. But man, if there was something that I was sure of, was that God loved me and I wanted to be different. And the thing that I didn't think was possible, just came true, is that I had a father who adored me. And that girl, her name is Hope, which is pretty cool. And, you know, I'm not the smartest person in the world, but married her. And we've been married for Nine years and got four boys. And I've just seen so much beauty come from the ashes of my life. And, you know, from that moment, being discipled, going to Liberty and getting a theological education to preaching at Liberty at convocation last month and doing, you know, having conversations with incredible people like yourself, like, I didn't have the guts.
Unknown Host
How did you immediately start implementing this stuff into your life after that hour at church?
Joshua Broome
Yeah, I mean, for me, it's like, you know, so thinking about, like, fighting, like, I wasn't the best fighter, but I was a good counter puncher, you know, basketball. Like, I was quick, but I wasn't fast. So I was a shooter. So I had to. I could create separation so I could get my shot off. All these things were technique driven, but I understood that it would yield results. So I believed, man, if I take inventory of the things in my life that don't line up with where I want to go, and I implement a regiment of things that will set me on the trajectory for me to go, then it'll work. Okay, so where do I start? Need a mentor. So first thing I did, it was so crazy. I go to this church, it was a pretty big church in Raleigh. And I was like, there's a pastor I can talk to. Like, sure, you know, executive pastor around the corner. Just happened, happened to be in there. His name's Gary Vette. And I walked in there and I was like, can I tell you a story? Because I feel like God wants me to build a boat, but I shared with him my story and I was like, man, I feel like I need to build a foundation because I think there's people that God's going to use my story to rescue, to point to himself. And that's the boat that I feel like I need to build. What am I supposed to do? He's like, wow. And then he grabs this guy, Andrew. And Andrew just graduated from dts Dallas Theological Seminary, moved to Raleigh to help open another campus. And discipleship was something that he was passionate about and gifted in, but like, very gifted teacher. And, you know, if, if I, you know, it's funny, I used to tell the story. It was like, man, he was a new guy on staff. He had all this free time, you know, knowing what I know. Now in ministry, the new guy on staff does not have free time. You know, you're doing all the stuff. But he's like, I didn't have time. And honestly, you know, my plan was to give you a Bible, tell you, you know, what to read and tell you to get plugged into a small group. And he was like, man, just the Holy Spirit just fell on me and convicted me. Like when you walked in my office and I was like, man, I've got to pour out every bit of me into him and I don't know why. And he didn't know what he was getting himself into. He's like, man, I just want you to open up my office to you. I want to spend as much time discipling you as you want to spend. So I was like, okay, I've got a little bit of a crazy work ethic where I was like, all right. So I was doing everything I could. I was giving away personal training clients and, and I was showing up at his office and I was spending 10 to 15 hours a week with Andrew. And you know, we started in the Book of John where the Book of John, you know, anyone asks me what's the first book of the Bible, I need to read the Book of John. Book of John is an eyewitness account of the life of Jesus. You know, John walked with Jesus and John wants you to know, hey, this is who Jesus is, this is what Jesus did. And this is how it matters to all that believe. And you know, it's like John specifically is written to not specifically like a Greek audience, not specifically a Jewish audience. It's an overarching audience, so it uses language that's not confusing. It's very clear. So we, we dug into that and it like I wasn't like a scholarly dude, but like I could read and like regurgitate stuff but it wouldn't always like conceptualize. There was, I mean it's true that the, you know, the Bible says that the Bible is, you know, the word of God is alive and active, sharper than you know, any two edged sword divides bone and marrow. Where if you are allowing the Holy Spirit to lead you, I think it's important that, that we pray before we read our Bible. I was reading this text and it was like it wasn't just words on a page. It was like it was coming into my heart and undoing things. And it was like I was like receiving, you know, I think it's appropriate that we talk about Jesus is the bread of life. You know, it's the water that'll never leave you thirsty. Because once you experience like true sustenance, like if you've ever been starving and then you find sustenance, like you're satisfied in a way that is almost like you can't fully articulate. It was that and I experienced a peace that came with that that I became very hungry for, and I couldn't get enough. And for me, you know, it used to be, man, if you come to my house or my grandma's house, her buttermilk biscuits are ridiculous. And she's such a great grandma that I get out of school at 3:37. She's taking them out of the oven at 3:40, they're hitting a plate, and you can bite them. They're still crispy, be on the top. And they're soft in the middle. And she times it perfect. You got to try this. The gospel became that for me, it was like, man, this really works. This really is changing my life. And it's beautiful and interesting and captivating, and it's the best story ever told. In that story, it's about a God that is personal and wants to get to know you. And, man, I can't. I can't wait to tell you about them. And that just became all I ever wanted to do. And that's, you know, if I'm honest, like, I get to do some really cool stuff. But at the end of the day, like, that's the thing that fires me up most. So it started there. But I think, like, if you're to teach anyone anything, you know, talking about Victor, Victor's going to show. Show me how to do something with a knife. And then he was going to give me the knife, and then I need to show him what he showed me, because if I can't replicate what you just taught me, I didn't catch it, you know, and you have to apply it to truly learn it. And I think when we reciprocate our faith in that we share things that God has implanted on us to others, there's something that's solidified. You think there's something beautiful that happens when there's a physical and practical response to something that's prompted in us spiritually. And that just has been natural for me.
Unknown Host
How long did it take you to learn forgiveness?
Joshua Broome
A lot longer. A lot longer. I think the first step of that was when our first son was born. I remember like, I remember like, my wife is like a germaphobe, and she's always like, you know, have you washed your hands? Have you washed your hands? Like, our kids, like, any. Like, we will, like, be somewhere and wash our hands and get in her car, and if we pick up, like, takeout, you know, and we're going to eat it on the way home, and they're in the back like watching a movie or whatever, they know, like, you got to get the hand sanitizer also, you know, but so when our son's born, you know, I'm like, she's already instilled the fear in me by that point. I'm like, are my hands clean enough, you know, to touch our son? You know, because the nurses had them and you know, know he's all like slimy and cone headed and got the little bonnet like hanging off his head. And I'm freaked out because, like, so she was in the middle of a CrossFit workout when her water broke. And like, she like, we went home. We like, we had just bought our first house, been married for about two years. And just like, she was like, I'm going to do my makeup and then we'll go to the hospital. Like, your water broke. You know, I'm like freaking out. I thought I needed to have like, you know, but we get there and her water broke, but she wasn't dilated enough. And then almost 24 hours later, he's born. So I'm like crackhead by that point. And he's born. I'm like emotional and hungry and tired and all the things. And the nurse has him and he's looking, you know, all alien like. And she's like, do you want to touch him? You want to see him? And I walk over, I'm like, you know, and as I'm reaching in his direction, his little hand reaches up and grabs my finger. And I started weeping and like, not audibly, but, you know, in my spirit. I heard God say, I love you more than that. And I said, man, I don't deserve that. I don't deserve to be a dad. I don't know how to be a dad. I'm scared. I don't know how to do it right. I've never seen it done. And I'm a, you know, I'm a screw up, you know, I started just thinking all these things. I was thinking, man, I was 30, you know, 33 at that time. And I was like, man, my dad was 16. And I think like that moment, it is the beginning of me feeling some empathy for him. And some time passed and God started opening up some cool opportunities. I was on staff at Life Church for a while as an associate pastor, and then took a teaching position in Iowa. And then kind of thing after thing started happening. I did Tucker and Candace Owens and a few other things and started getting a lot of momentum, a lot of opportunities. And God was just moving and kind of in the middle of that, I was in Dallas, actually, before we lived there, and I was staying at the Omni, and I'd woken up around like 2am and it's often, not super often, but often that God will like, wake me up. And I feel prompted to pray in the middle of the night. And I was lazy. So I was just like, I'm just going to lay here. And I began to think, like, man, what am I doing? And I just felt like, super distracted. And then I started to think. It's almost like the Holy Spirit kind of brought to the forefront of my mind, like, do you fear me? Do you revere me? Like, the fear of the Lord, rightly understood, is reverence, not, you know, human fear. Like, do you revere me as Lord, get on my face and begin to pray? And then I started to see almost like, if you would, like, go through a flip book, my dad, the way that I would look out that glass, like, looking for my dad, is my dad as a kid looking for me. And how it just got harder over time. And while I was feeling empathy, I was also feeling this like, bubble of rage at the same time, you know, these like, two conflicting emotions. And I was just like, man, because I. I've like, screamed into my pillow before, like, when, you know, especially when, like the day that we found out we were pregnant for the first time, someone hacked my wife's Facebook and sent every single person, like, family, friends, like, grandma, like, my pornography. It's like we announced we're pregnant five minutes later.
Unknown Host
Damn.
Joshua Broome
So, like, moments like that, I was like, I don't know why. Obviously I'm like, man, I'd love to grab that. It that IP address and go like, curb kick that person. But also something in me, like, it was almost like the first thing I would think was like, man, dad, if you would have been there, this stuff wouldn't have happened. I wouldn't be experiencing that. It's your fault. And it would go from like, it's your fault to like, dad, it's your fault. Why couldn't you just be there? You were down the street, like, why do you hate me? And then just my heart broke and I'm just like, I have to forgive him. I don't know what that looks like, but I have to figure out a way. And then I tell my wife and my wife, be my wife. She like some. She like, messages he's got. You know, I have a half brother and sister that I don't know very well, but. But she reaches out to Justin and Then she gets his number, and then I end up with his number. And she was like, you know, very quickly, she's like, here you go. Do what you need to do. I called him and we had that phone call and it was like, man, like, when I had that conversation with him, it didn't go exactly like I thought it would, but a million pounds came off of me. But what's really wild is in between that dream and that phone call, the weekend I had with Victor Marks was nuts. So we know Victor, and it was. I think maybe it was like the third or fourth time I'd hung out with him. And we were filming a spiritual warfare documentary, and he had interviewed me for that. And he's got, you know, this. This prayer, you know, this retooling prayer where you identify, like, is there any, you know, demonic oppression on you? And calls them out.
Unknown Host
We did it on here.
Joshua Broome
Yeah. Yeah. But he. He did that with me and I was just like, you know, it's like, you know, I. I would say I'm like bad decostel. You know, I'm like Baptist in my theology and Pentecostal in my expression. But, like, the demonic, you know what. Like what? And super familiar with, you know, definitely experienced a lot of evil, but regarding stuff like that, not, you know, not super in tune with.
Unknown Host
And I think your whole life's been spiritual, man.
Joshua Broome
Absolutely. Absolutely.
Unknown Host
But I think of the demonic is.
Joshua Broome
Sorry, please.
Unknown Host
It's traps. It's these traps.
Joshua Broome
Yeah.
Unknown Host
It's vices. It's addiction. It's lust, Sex. It's temptation. Money.
Joshua Broome
Yep.
Unknown Host
Jealousy, resentment. Those are. I think that. I think. How the. I think. I think about this shit all the time. I think that's how it works. Different traps work for different people.
Joshua Broome
Oh, sure.
Unknown Host
Yours was. I mean, it doesn't sound like yours was even really lust. It was more fame and money.
Joshua Broome
Yeah. And affirmation.
Unknown Host
Yeah. And your whole life has been acceptance. Where can I get accepted? First one that came along. Well, at least the first one you noticed.
Joshua Broome
Yeah.
Unknown Host
You know, was. So there was three traps that. Acceptance, fame, money.
Joshua Broome
Yeah, absolutely.
Unknown Host
You know, and so I think it's. If you. If you display what you really. I don't know how to say this. If you. If you display what you're really craving or want, whether it's, you know, sex, power, fame, money, those things will come.
Joshua Broome
Yeah.
Unknown Host
They might not be good.
Joshua Broome
Yeah. I mean, I would say it's easy.
Unknown Host
To fall into this shit.
Joshua Broome
Oh, yeah.
Unknown Host
I see it all the time.
Joshua Broome
I mean, you're. You're I mean, I think you're really tapping into something important because the reality is that most people that struggle with porn, like, porn is problematic in their life, but porn's not their problem. Like, porn is the band aid that they've covered, you know, the wound, the lack, the need with. And now that the porn has become problematic in their life, where, you know, you started watching porn because of what. Whatever, but it was. It's. It's covering something that's so much deeper. That's why, you know, helping people stop watching it. It's not. You shouldn't do that. We do stuff that I ought not do all the time. It's so much deeper than that. It's like, why? Why do I do what I do? In contrast of why do I do stuff that I don't want to do? Paul talks about that. Why do I have this desire to do things I ought not do? Why do I find myself doing these things?
Unknown Host
Yeah, but I mean, it doesn't even necessarily appear like a trap. It doesn't look like a trap at the time.
Joshua Broome
Well, that's a good trap, though, right?
Unknown Host
And then you're in.
Joshua Broome
Well, good. A good, you know, a good trap would have camouflage. And I think, you know, that's why, you know, John 10:10 talks about the enemy wants to kill, steal and destroy. And. And you're thinking about if he's going to put you in change, he's not going to show you the full picture of the chain that you will be in. He's just going to show you a link and how that link's not a big deal. I love this Dallas Willard quote. I believe it's Dallas Willard, but just talks about how repentance seems easy at first, and then after you sin, it. It seems impossible, you know, I mean, how, like, there's a demonic assignment on each person. And, you know, I think the. I would say the biggest problem, especially like in like, Protestant circles, is this negligence or this disbelief that evil can tangibly impact your life as a follower of Christ. Because are we without sin? No. And when we sin, what do we do? We essentially invite an opportunity for deception. So it's. Yeah. I mean, I love the way that JP just like, lays it out there. He spent two years just talking about man. We're digging into the fact that, you know, there's the Devil, like, you're not interested, you know, that you're not interesting to the devil per se. But he's got legions of demons that, you know, they know the wounds, you know, in your family history. They know the things in which you have a proclivity towards. He knows, you know, what kind of trap to set for you. He can't make you take the bait, but he can make it seem enticing and even more so once you take it. He can make you believe that it's not a big deal. But, yeah, man, back to that moment with Victor. We were doing that retooling prayer, and I was like. I was pretty dismissive of it. And then we did it. And then as soon as he started talking, it was like I was a kid and I was in a room where it took me to a moment that I had suppressed as a kid. I was seven and a half years old, and I heard my mom being hit by this guy that she was married to. And there was. The dresser was pressed up against the door, and I was pressing with my forearm against the door, and I got it open just enough where I could see through it, and I saw him hitting her. And I was screaming at him. And I felt so weak and so useless because I couldn't open that door. And then I cried until I fell asleep and I woke up. And he was just like, what? What lie did the enemy tell you? I was like, that I'm not good enough. It was just like, man. And it was like, so how do you undo, you know, how do you undo something like that? It's like, how do you replace a lie? Well, you have to replace it with a truth. You know, Thomas Kempis talks about, habit has to be replaced with habit. A lie has to be replaced with truth. So I'm like, man, how do I fix this? How do I undo this? How do I, you know, what do I do with this? What do I do with this? Like, new, like, unearthed trauma, you know, I've already, like, been to counseling for two years. You know, I've already. It was like, something I didn't deal with. I never even thought of. I didn't even know it happened, really. And the first thing I could think of was again, that dream when I was praying. You know, that moment I was praying, it was like, man, the reason I don't believe that I'm enough. It came from another lie, that my dad wasn't there for me because I'm not good enough. I'm not good enough to be his son. So I'm going to choose to forgive him in spite of an outcome. And I did. And I think the enemy, like, I thought in my head, like, man, God had orchestrated this incredible moment, you know, that I was Going to, like, when I called him, there was going to be, like, fireworks shooting off, and then we were going to, like, you know, grab some shotguns and go hunting or something, you know, like. But it was just not the case. And I was talking with a buddy of mine recently, Matt Chandler, and he was telling me the story of, like, him and his dad, like, reconnecting, like, later in life. And he was like. I was like, well, how did you know? How did that happen? And he was like, man, just, like, randomly one day, I just got like, this inkling to say, hey, dad, I've got access to this cabin. I'm going out there for three days. Hunt, fish, do all the stuff you love to do. Why don't you come with me? It's all on me. It's all taken care of. Why don't you come hang out with me? And he did and ended up professing Jesus as Lord, ended up having a great relationship, even moved closer to him. And I was just like, my dad has a. You know, hey, like, my dad's, like, office like, looks like this. If it was like, deer and boar. And, you know, I was like, he'll be all over that. Send out a text, look at it, show it to my wife. Hit send. 30 seconds go by. I don't think it's going to work. There was so much in me that wanted to, like, take 10 steps back, you know, it's like, man, like, what? What do I have to do? But at the end of the day, it's like, man. And I can't control his decisions, and I can't control his response to dictate how I perceive reality and live my life. All I can do is be the best father I can be and the best husband I can be and be the best Christ follower I can be and be the best leader in the organization that I'm part of. Of.
Unknown Host
It's not you, it's him.
Joshua Broome
Yeah. I mean, it sucked. You know, it sucked. Like, I thought for sure, like, that was it. But I think a better way to think about it, you know, as I'm sitting here, it's like, maybe it was a seed. You know, one was up three months ago.
Unknown Host
It's a lot of pain.
Joshua Broome
Yeah. And it's wild. It's like, you know, I spent a lot of time talking about porn, but when I do men's events, like, I know 90% or more of the guys there have or are struggling with porn. The thing that I get to minister to people about is that there's some Kind of father wound, and there's levels of fatherlessness. You know, there's guys, you know, fathers that. They weren't there at all. There were fathers that, you know, divorce or death or. It would be easy for me to become the father that's absent in that I'm there, but I'm trying to overcompensate so hard that I'm not present. So so many guys with a similar wound.
Unknown Host
How do you keep that balance?
Joshua Broome
How do I keep the balance? I mean, for me, it's like, again, my wife is just the best. Where we were doing premarital counseling, and we were looking at the five love languages, and she was saying, well, her top love language is quality time. And naturally, the way that we are naturally inclined to love people is the way in which we most naturally receive love, which often is not the same as our spouse. And, you know, with Hope, she wanted quality time. Like, she was, like, never, like, not seen as, like, her family. It's like, if they fell out of the Hallmark Channel, you know, it's like, not real life. You know, she. It's like she talks to her mom and her sister multiple times a day, and, you know, they're on like. You know, her sister just had a baby, and they're like, you know, it's wild. It's nothing like I've ever seen. It's almost. It's not uncomfortable, but it's like. It's so normal. It's weird to me. But she was like, quality time. So, like, when I hear quality time, I'm like, quality date, quality dinner, quality. Like, something really good. She's like, yeah, I want, you know, sit on the end of a pier where the water is completely, you know, placid, and just sit there, you know, no phones, nothing. Just unattached from everything. Just me and you. The greatest gift that you can give me, the greatest present that you can give me, is your presence. And that's hard for somebody that doesn't think a lot of themselves. So it was almost like the way that she required me to love her well, allowed me to heal, because I was like, man, how could you see that in me? And there's just been so many times where she has just did things and said things that have been so healing to me. So with our kids, she reminds me that, you know, like, Cannon especially. That's my dude. He likes presence, likes, like, stuff. But the end of the day, like, he wants me to sit on the ground and play tic tac toe with him.
Unknown Host
Yeah.
Joshua Broome
And it's like we over complicate simple things that distracts us from the most meaningful things.
Unknown Host
It's a good way to put it.
Joshua Broome
So it's that it's, you know, the way that she loves me. Well is she lovingly course corrects me from time to time. Sometimes it's, you know, a bony elbow and sometimes it's a kiss on the cheek. But she's never afraid to tell me the truth. And I appreciate that about so much about her.
Unknown Host
Sounds like a great woman.
Joshua Broome
Oh yeah, it is wild. I mean like we were, we were, you know, we were sitting with a group of people and someone asked her like, well, you know, in good faith they were asking her like, like, gosh, I just admire you so much. Like, how do you not have animosity towards him? Slept with thousands of girls, you know, did all this stuff that's all over the Internet. And how do you not have like something like in you that causes you to compare yourself? You know, like, how do you not have animosity and like how do you not have that in you? And she was like, well, I knew him for five days before he gave his life to Christ. So I'm not going to hold his past against his him. And I don't believe that when you google him you will find the thing that's most true about him. The thing that's most true about him is that he is a son of the king of kings. So I'm going to speak to him and think of him the way that God does, not the way that Satan. Satan does. Because Satan would like me to hold on to his past. But God says, that is my son whom I'm well pleased that's been forgiven and cleansed by his blood. Like the prodigal son. Like the prodigal son took one step toward his father. The father ran towards him and put a ring on his finger or sandals on his feet, a robe on his back and threw a party. Because, you know, this, he said, this is my son who's come home. And I think, man, it's like if, if I think if we could just understand like who God is, he would seem not only more attractive, but irresist.
Unknown Host
Wow, man, that is a hell of a story.
Joshua Broome
Yeah.
Unknown Host
What a strong woman. Well, you want to end it in a prayer?
Joshua Broome
Yeah, let's do it.
Unknown Host
All right, you lead it.
Joshua Broome
Father, we thank you that we get to look at you and say abba, Father, we thank you for our time together. And Lord, we just pray that the conversation that we had, it is both Convicting, comforting in that it doesn't matter what you've done. It doesn't matter what's happened to you. It doesn't matter how far you've gone. You cannot outrun or out sin what Jesus has done for you on the cross. To the person that is wrestling with and struggling with pornography addiction. God, I pray that you lovingly correct them, that you do not condemn them for their sin, that if they are a follower of you, that they are someone that would say, hey, I call myself a follower of Jesus. Your word says that. Romans 8:1, that there is no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus. So I pray that they don't feel condemned in shame, but they do feel corrected in their spirit. And that they. This is not a good thing. This is not something that they should hide. This is something they need to tell someone that's close to them and that they pursue freedom and healing. And God, I just pray that to the person that doesn't know you, that we understand that we were created to live forever. And where we spend forever is up to us. That you sent your son into this world to die the death that we deserved. He paid our debt on the cross. And God, I just pray that to the person that doesn't know you, that they right now in this moment, that you draw them close to yourself and they say, hey, I'm a sinner that needs saving. I don't know how to do it on my own. But Jesus, I pray that you come into my life, that I turn from my sin, that I turn to you and I give you my life and I trust you. And I pray that you fill them with the Holy Spirit so they can follow you with all their life for the rest of their life. We pray this all in Jesus, mighty name, Amen.
Unknown Host
Amen. Well, Josh, thank you, man.
Joshua Broome
Thank you.
Unknown Host
I just hope that when. I just hope that. And I know you will wish you the best of, best of success with what you're doing now and spreading the message. And I just hope that this conversation, you know, just a lot of people out there caught in a vice, a trap, a prison, and they don't think they can find their way out of it. I've been in one multiple times. I know. I mean, it's a big part of what we do. And I just hope people take this and realize there's always a way out. There is always a way out.
Joshua Broome
Yeah. And. Yeah, just the reality that wherever you are today, you're not stuck. You know, you can change. It doesn't have to always be this way. That's the gospel that you know. God loves us enough to meet us where we are no matter what our situation is, but he also loves us enough to not leave us as we God bless, brother. Former MLB All Star Sean Casey, AKA the Mayor keeps hitting it out of the park. Take my 30 years of experience.
Unknown Host
Take the wisdom and know knowledge I've learned from the failures when I got.
Joshua Broome
Sent down my rookie year, all the injuries I had to overcome. Your mind is the most important tool you have in life. Be relentless. Keep charging. It matters how you talk to yourself, how you look at the world. That matters. We talk about that.
Unknown Host
I don't know.
Joshua Broome
I'm fired up. Baseball's back and it's going to be incredible.
Unknown Host
I love it. The mayor's office with Sean Casey from.
Joshua Broome
Believe, Follow and listen on your favorite platform.
Shawn Ryan Show Episode #196: Joshua Broome - "Rocco Reed," Inside The Adult Film Industry
Release Date: May 1, 2025
In Episode #196 of the Shawn Ryan Show, host Shawn Ryan engages in a candid and profound conversation with Joshua Broome, widely known in the adult film industry as "Rocco Reed." The episode delves deep into Joshua's tumultuous journey from a small-town upbringing in South Carolina to the bright lights of Hollywood, his extensive career in the adult film sector, the personal and societal ramifications of his experiences, and his transformative path to faith and redemption.
Joshua Broome opens up about his challenging upbringing in South Carolina, marked by his mother's young age and his father's absence. This early instability sowed seeds of insecurity and a relentless drive to seek validation through external achievements.
[33:50] Joshua Broome: "I had this conflict and this chaos that I didn't understand. The best I can do is try to overcome."
At the age of 22, Joshua pursued his acting dreams in Hollywood. Amidst his growing success in modeling over acting, he was approached by talent scouts from the porn industry, leading him to make the pivotal decision to enter adult films.
Joshua recounts his initial encounters with the industry, highlighting the manipulative tactics used by agents to lure aspiring actors. He provides a stark portrayal of the industry's facade, contrasting the marketed glamour with the underlying exploitation and superficial connections.
[03:40] Joshua Broome: "We're just plugging and playing. So now they can be talking to 30 people at once, but they're talking to no one at all."
Throughout his seven-year tenure, Joshua amassed over 1,000 films, earning recognition as one of the top male performers. However, the relentless pursuit of fame and the inherent challenges of the industry began taking a toll on his mental and emotional well-being.
The conversation takes a harrowing turn as Joshua shares his deepest moments of despair, including experiences of being drugged and raped during shoots. These traumatic events led him down a path of self-destructive behavior, culminating in severe depression and suicidal ideation.
[61:32] Joshua Broome: "What you ingest once it metabolizes, there has to be somewhere for it to go."
Joshua emphasizes the psychological impact of the industry's transactional nature of intimacy, where genuine connections are sacrificed for performance. The constant suppression of his true self led to a profound sense of worthlessness and isolation.
A pivotal moment in Joshua's life occurred during a near-suicidal attempt, where an unexpected act of kindness from a stranger reignited his dwindling hope. This encounter, coupled with his mother's unwavering love, propelled Joshua towards seeking forgiveness and embracing a spiritual awakening.
[73:07] Joshua Broome: "I forgive him because... I have free will. So I had to take ownership of my mistakes and I had to let go of that with him."
Joshua details his journey of forgiveness, not just towards his absentee father but also towards himself. This internal reconciliation was instrumental in his departure from the adult film industry and his subsequent dedication to pastoral work and ministry.
Joshua passionately discusses the pervasive effects of pornography on society, especially its detrimental impact on children and young adults. He highlights alarming statistics on early exposure to porn, the rise of addictive behaviors, and the disturbing trend of incest-related content.
[12:59] Joshua Broome: "In around 60% of the sexual assault cases that happen to children in the United States, the perpetrator is between 10 to 14 years old, and it's a sibling."
He underscores the importance of open dialogues about sex within families and communities, advocating for proactive measures to shield children from the insidious reach of pornographic content.
Joshua's transformation culminates in his role as a pastor, where he leverages his experiences to guide others out of similar destructive cycles. He shares the profound influence of mentors and his deepened relationship with his wife and children, who have become pillars of his renewed life.
[22:58] Joshua Broome: "I have something for you. My book, 'Seven Lies That Will Ruin Your Life,' helps eradicate those lies with truths from God's word."
His dedication to teaching, counseling, and fostering spiritual growth is evident as he intertwines his past struggles with his mission to offer hope and redemption to those ensnared by vices like pornography.
A significant portion of the dialogue revolves around the concept of forgiveness. Joshua shares his heartfelt journey of forgiving his father, emphasizing that forgiveness is less about the other person and more about liberating oneself from the chains of resentment and shame.
[42:31] Joshua Broome: "Forgiveness is for yourself. Because you imprison yourself in that fucking resentment and that anger and it just never leaves."
He illustrates how embracing forgiveness has been transformative, enabling him to build meaningful relationships and lead a purpose-driven life centered around faith and family.
As the episode nears its end, Joshua delves into the notion of spiritual warfare, discussing the invisible battles individuals face against internal and external vices. He stresses the importance of recognizing and combating these hidden adversities through faith, support systems, and personal accountability.
[163:41] Joshua Broome: "The enemy wants to kill, steal, and destroy. You're not interested, but he's got legions of demons that know your wounds."
His testimony serves as a testament to the enduring human spirit's capacity to overcome profound adversities through faith, love, and resilience.
The Dangers of the Adult Film Industry: Joshua's experiences shed light on the manipulative and exploitative practices prevalent within the industry, emphasizing the psychological toll it exacts on its participants.
Impact on Youth: The episode underscores the alarming effects of early exposure to pornography on children, advocating for open conversations and protective measures.
Power of Forgiveness: Joshua's journey highlights the liberating power of forgiveness, both towards oneself and others, as a pathway to personal healing and redemption.
Role of Faith: Embracing faith and spiritual guidance plays a crucial role in overcoming deep-seated traumas and vices, fostering a life of purpose and fulfillment.
Spiritual Warfare: The discussion emphasizes the ongoing invisible battles individuals face against internal and external adversities, advocating for vigilance and support in combating these challenges.
Notable Quotes:
Joshua Broome on the Superficiality of Pornographic Connections:
"[03:40] Joshua Broome: We're just plugging and playing. So now they can be talking to 30 people at once, but they're talking to no one at all."
Joshua Broome on Forgiveness:
"[42:31] Joshua Broome: Forgiveness is for yourself. Because you imprison yourself in that fucking resentment and that anger and it just never leaves."
Joshua Broome on the Power of God's Love:
"[109:57] Joshua Broome: ...God loves me..."
Conclusion
Episode #196 of the Shawn Ryan Show offers a raw and unfiltered glimpse into Joshua Broome's life, portraying the harrowing realities of the adult film industry and the profound journey towards healing and faith. Through his story, listeners gain invaluable insights into the destructive cycles of vices, the transformative power of forgiveness, and the enduring strength of the human spirit when anchored in unwavering faith.