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Shawn Ryan
Joe Peifer, welcome to the show, man.
Joe Peifer
Thank you so much. Like a kid in a candy shop.
Shawn Ryan
Well, I'm pumped about this. I am pumped about this. And, you know, you know, what I'm really excited about for this is your upbringing. And is, you know, as we were discussing downstairs, you know, I just, I didn't grow up like that, and I mean, I didn't have it easy, but I didn't grow up like that. And, you know, just like through this show, man, I had no idea how many people, how many kids go through some type of abuse, whether it's physical abuse, sexual abuse, or verbal abuse. And like, it's. I picked up on that years ago when I first started this. How many kids go through shit like that? And then to see people break generational curses and pull out of that, I mean, it's. I'm not going to say it's unheard of, but the majority of people never make it out, you know, and so to bring somebody like you on, you know, it just, with everything that you've been through as a kid, I mean, it just brings so much hope to other children that are going through that, and it proves to them that there's a way out of that. So that's the biggest thing that I want to interview you about, and I just commend you for pulling through it. And I know this is going to bring a lot of hope to a lot of people, man. So thank you for being here and giving us a window into your life.
Joe Peifer
Of course, man. I, I'm an open book with it and I think the best thing I can do is share the story so it can inspire kids that are voiceless and don't have a way to express or don't know how. I can only speak on my journey and what I've done with my, I guess, pain and struggle, that I've turned it into something that I can be successful at and obviously go and provide a way for myself to live. But, yeah, I mean, I think it's wildly more popular than everybody thinks and mine's kind of average compared to the abuse cases, you know, so I'm just fortunate that I had good people around me and, you know, as we'll get into it. Yeah, I still have those same long life friendships and the same people right next to me, so I'm excited to tell it and share it and, you know, dive into it.
Shawn Ryan
Good deal. Good deal. Well, everybody starts off with an introduction here, so.
Joe Peifer
Oh, I know.
Shawn Ryan
I watched Joe Peifer, a UFC middleweight contender with a professional record of 14 and 3, UFC record of 5 and 1. Secured a UFC contract after a knockout performance on Dana White's Contender series after some significant setbacks. Known for your knockout power and relentless drive, earning you three performance of the night bonuses. The subject of the acclaimed documentary Journey to the ufc, directed by your longtime friend Chandler Henry, who won best feature length documentary at the 2024 Garden State Film Festival. You know, and got a couple other things to get through in the interview, but I read somewhere that you reject the title or the label role model.
Joe Peifer
Yes.
Shawn Ryan
And, you know, I just, I wanted to ask you why, why you reject that label? Because, and here's, here's why I'm asking. Because, you know, just in our conversations downstairs and through the research of, you know, of your life story for this interview, I mean, in my opinion, that's what you are, man. You are a phenomenal athlete. And people look up to that. And, you know, we just talked about your upbringing and I mean, you did. You are a fucking role model for kids. You're a role model for everybody, whether you like it or not. But more specifically, like, what matters, you know, is, what matters to me is there's just not that many athletes that people can look up to these days that are decent human beings, do the right thing, that have been through hard times, and you're one of them, man. And so I just wanted to ask you, why do you reject the title role model?
Joe Peifer
I think I reject the title role model for a couple things, and I think one of them is that I'm an imperfect person and I don't like to view myself as a role model. I'm just a guy that is passionate about what he does and wants to reach the highest level. And I want to find out what my limits are. You know, I have no idea if I'll be a world champion. I have the belief I'll be a world champion, but I make mistakes, Right. I say some things that people don't like. So I don't think I'm fit to deserve, I guess, the title of a role model. And I'm not sure if any human is really fit to be a role model, but I definitely believe I can be an inspiration. I hope I could be a little ignite, ignite, like a little fire in somebody's heart to go and try and whether it's fighting or whether it's soccer or something with school, where you can go and try to reach the highest, the highest level. So I think it just bothers me being a role model because I Know I'm not the best person in the world, right? But I don't steal from people. I don't hurt people for no reason. And I don't think that I've ever gone out of my way to do so. So I think an inspiration is the safest way for me to be because I think this world is very judgmental, obviously. And, yeah, I don't know. I just don't think that I'm worthy of being a role model. I think my story is inspirational, and I think my career has been inspirational. You know, just a little bit of stats that you read off as someone who's only 28 years old, who's only been in the UFC for two and a half years. And yeah, and I think my story is inspirational, but I don't know if it's a role model type.
Shawn Ryan
It is, you know, but being a role model, I mean, that is a responsibility that nobody asks for. Your fans are the ones that deem you the role model, not you. And you carry yourself very well. Say some things that. You know what I mean, that a lot of people, Whatever, man, it's your beliefs. And we see so many people in society, in politics, in Hollywood, in sports and fuck everywhere, you know, that are scared to speak their mind and say what's actually on their mind. And that's becoming lost on the American people. So, I mean, I think, you know, from what I know about you and what I'm about to learn, from what I know right now, you are a great person.
Joe Peifer
The one thing I will say as far as the role model, too, is I think the reason I say that is if there's going to be a role model type. Yeah, it's very hard. I guess the role model type would be like, how I never quit. Like, that could be a role model type part. But as far as just being the person. But there's often when we talk about athletes as being role models, I don't think there is a lot of role models as athletes as what we're saying, but I think it's because everybody wants all the glory and then they forget who they are and they fall in love with this identity of I'm an athlete or I'm somebody famous or I'm a singer, and then they start treating people less than them. I treat everybody the same. If you give me respect, I give you respect, and if you treat me like shit, I treat you like shit. But I'm not gonna go out of my way to be spiteful or anything like that, so. But I Do have. I do have that other side of me, so.
Shawn Ryan
We all do, don't we?
Joe Peifer
We have that other side of me. Yeah. So, yeah, you know, I'm not a perfect person. And that's why I say about the role models. Cause I will fuck up and, you know, I will say things that people don't like that can be controversial. I've had that recently in my career. I got some funny names. Poopy Pants Piper, Salty Joe Pifer, you know, all kinds of stuff. So, yeah, Mexico did me dirty, man. So. But yeah, no, it's. It's. You know, But I do think that my story is inspirational. And I think the part. If you want to take anything and list that as a role model, you know, I would say the friendships that I have is the best thing to mimic, which is putting good people around you that, you know, aren't yes men, that don't kiss your ass just because of success or just because of spotlight and actually care about you as a human being, aside from your performances, especially in this sport.
Shawn Ryan
So, yeah, man, kudos to you for figuring that out at age 28. Yeah, that is a hard lesson to learn.
Joe Peifer
It is, it is. And it doesn't come easy. You really gotta search for it. You really have to ask questions, and you really have to have good people around you to find it. Otherwise you get all this fame or success. Not that I have fame or success, but, you know, I would say I'm successful in my journey for my goals. And I still have goals that go deeper than just a gold belt. They're more on a human level of being a good person and having good people in my life and achieving success with just a wealth of family around me that I didn't get to have growing up. So super excited for that. And I think the future holds a lot of cool things for me, so.
Shawn Ryan
I'm sure it does.
Joe Peifer
Hopefully I find out soon.
Shawn Ryan
Well, hey, I don't know what the future holds for it, but I do know in the near future. So I got you a couple gifts here.
Joe Peifer
Oh, yeah.
Shawn Ryan
One.
Joe Peifer
Oh, yeah.
Shawn Ryan
Probably the only reason I came out.
Joe Peifer
Here, I get this for a year. So I gotta know, are these like some special gummy bears or are these just Shawn Ryan's gummy bears?
Shawn Ryan
They're just. They're just gummy bears, man. There's nothing. They're legal in all 50 states, so if that tells you anything good, it's just candy. At least right now they'll probably become illegal with the red dye. Shit. But.
Joe Peifer
Sorry, I'll Die for these just once, right up.
Shawn Ryan
And I got you another gift, you know, finding out that you're a gun guy down there. I got a buddy over at Sig Sauer, his name's Jason. I told him you were coming on. He wanted you to present you with a little something there.
Joe Peifer
All right, let's see. Let's go. Thank you. Oh, wow. Yeah. Oh, this is a big boy.
Shawn Ryan
Yeah. So down there, you know, you were talking about. I'm sure we'll dive into it a little bit, but you had mentioned that, you know, if things didn't work out in the. In the fighting world, that you thought about joining the military.
Joe Peifer
Yeah.
Shawn Ryan
And so that is a sig Sauer p226.
Joe Peifer
I've never even heard of this dude, but this thing is hefty.
Shawn Ryan
That is.
Joe Peifer
Now this I'm gonna shoot.
Shawn Ryan
That is the Primo. So when I joined the SEAL teams, the sidearm, the secondary that we carried, was a sig Sauer p226.
Joe Peifer
Wow.
Shawn Ryan
And so they revamped it. That's the Legion model. Go ahead, pull that trigger.
Joe Peifer
Bam. This is a nine mil.
Shawn Ryan
That's a nine millimeter.
Joe Peifer
Oh, that's smooth.
Shawn Ryan
You gotta rack it.
Joe Peifer
Still feels smooth, though. Yeah. I mean, that's like nothing. Wow. Thank you so much.
Shawn Ryan
Yeah, you're welcome, man.
Joe Peifer
Thank you so much. I didn't expect this damn surprise. I love it. Thank you. Thank you, man. Fantastic. I love it. Thank you so much. You got it. You're gonna have to help me figure out how I'm getting it back.
Shawn Ryan
Oh, we got you covered.
Joe Peifer
All right.
Shawn Ryan
Got you covered.
Joe Peifer
Awesome. That's amazing. Thank you so much.
Shawn Ryan
You're welcome.
Joe Peifer
That's a great piece, man. Another one to the collection.
Shawn Ryan
There you go. 31.
Joe Peifer
Special one special one.
Shawn Ryan
And then I have a Patreon account. Patreon account, Subscription account. We've turned it into one hell of a community. I think we have almost 100,000 people in there now. And so one of the things that I do is I offer the community the opportunity to ask each and every guest a question. So this is from Eric Auger. Joe, you've shared how Dana White not only gave you a UFC contract, but also covered your rent after a tough moment. What gave you the courage to be so open about your situation back then? And how did your life shift the moment you left that meeting?
Joe Peifer
Yeah, I would say I think it starts way before me being open about, you know, my situation. I used to be super shy and super reserved, and then one time, Sam Morpeza who was probably one of the most monumental people aside from Will Harmon, who you'll learn took me in, was a high school wrestling coach. But Sam Morpeza I'd known since I was 10 years old. And he told me when somebody tells you to eat or offers you food, you take it, you eat. And it always stuck with me. It was something really small, but it was, if you don't take the opportunities given to you, then you miss them and just not being shy to ask for something, you know, the worst that you can be told, the worst thing you can be told is no and you don't get what you want. So, you know, I didn't tell him that story or situation for the sake of pity. It was just, hey, look, I let him know I just fought and I'm about to be homeless on Friday. I have no idea where I'm going to live because the house that I was living in was sold. So I had, I'd fought on Tuesday. That's when Dana White's contender series is. And I would have flown home Wednesday, Thursday would have had to move out on Friday was. That was it. I had nowhere to go. So he had fronted me some money that got me a condo. It worked out. Where my strength conditioning coach, his landlord, he lived in the same condo complex and she had had one that just literally got like vacated. She had just let go of tenants and it wasn't even up on the market yet. And I told her I would pay her ca from what he had given me and that paid for my whole year up front rent.
Shawn Ryan
Damn.
Joe Peifer
But how it changed, it was just, you know, like Dana White's gotten a lot of flack. You know, essentially people think that he's a heartless guy and I don't think that he is. And he's been super generous with me and super nice to me and it's been nothing but good business. So it was nice to know that someone of his caliber, you know, who's apparently, you know, a lot of people talk about him in a way where it's like they don't care about their fighters and you're just a number. And to a certain extent, you know, if you're not bringing the company money, I understand why it's like that. If it don't make money, it don't make sense. It's a business at the end of the day. But it was very nice to see his heart and his genuine care for my well being and made sure that he took care of me and gave me, I mean Essentially, that allowed me to take the next fight the month later. Yeah, so it was very special. And then on top of the B. Joe Peifer moment and everything, it was nice that I had that kind of impact on the president of the ufc. So from a guy that I've been watching since I was five years old, so, yeah, it was a huge moment, but it just brought back humanity to my life at the highest level with, like, somebody of that status. So it was probably the most famous guy I've ever been in front of at that time.
Shawn Ryan
Man, that's cool.
Joe Peifer
Yeah, so it was really cool. Life changing. It literally was life changing. So I don't know how my career would have been, you know, sleeping on somebody's couch and trying to train full time and, yeah, it was a rough situation, but, you know, he made it that much better and made it that much easier.
Shawn Ryan
How long ago was that?
Joe Peifer
Two and a half years ago.
Shawn Ryan
Two and a half years ago.
Joe Peifer
I've been in the UFC two and a half years. I had that fight in, I think, 2022. So a beginning of middle of 2022. So it's been about two and a half years. Right on. Yeah.
Shawn Ryan
What a guy. That's cool.
Joe Peifer
It was pretty cool. And then a lot of people were talking shit on him recently about the Ben Askren thing with the lung transplant. He had a double lung transplant that he needed to get, and people were like, oh, he didn't help. But, you know, then he came out and the post, actually, this. After this weekend, this Nashville card, he said that he had given money to Ben Askren to help him with his transplant. So it's super cool. You know, those are things that go beyond fighting and business, and, you know, it's nice to see that he gives back and, you know, actually cares about people.
Shawn Ryan
Is there. Is there, like, what's the community like, the UFC community as a whole, behind the scenes? I mean, does everybody lift each other up, or.
Joe Peifer
I will say, nah, not really, man. Not really. So it depends. Like, the fans are ruthless, man. They either love you or they fucking hate you. But, you know, as far as, like, the fighters between each other, they're really respectful for the most part. Like, I've never had an issue. But then, you know, there's the guys that just had bad blood beef. Like, guys like Khabib, Nate Diaz, Jones, dc, Things like that. They genuinely hate each other. Cody Garbrandt, T.J. dillashaw, those rivalries. And so, yeah, it's a hit or miss, but I would say for the most Part fighters amongst each other are very respectful. Ultimately, this is our job and we're competitors, so I would say it's pretty respectful. But as far as the fan base, man, it is a ruthless business.
Shawn Ryan
I'll bet it is.
Joe Peifer
Always be a loser if they hate you and they will let you know for years. I mean, I have a fan that's been dedicated to telling me that I'm a loser for, like, the past year and a half. And I save all this shit. I think it's hilarious. But, yeah, so it's. It's 50. 50 for sure. How hyped up is it as far as what part?
Shawn Ryan
Theatrics.
Joe Peifer
None.
Shawn Ryan
None.
Joe Peifer
There is no scripted. There's no fake anything. That's. All the other organizations aside from ufc, UFC is the most.
Shawn Ryan
Let me. Let me rephrase that. Let me rephrase that. I don't mean, like, theatrics in the ring. I don't mean any of that.
Joe Peifer
I'm talking about press conferences.
Shawn Ryan
No shit. That's all real.
Joe Peifer
All real. All real. Yeah. We don't. You don't get any type of. The only thing we're told is don't touch each other. That's it. Everything else is real. So whether the fighters between each other sometimes are cool, and they'll say, hey, let's. Let's hype this up. Let's talk some shit so that way we can get people interested. You know, that's a private conversation. But, yeah, no, none of it's fake.
Shawn Ryan
Right on. Yeah, right on. I thought for sure some of the drama going on behind the scenes was maybe encouraged.
Joe Peifer
Jon Jones and DC truly hated each other. And they still. If you've ever, you know, followed it, they still hate each other, I think. So there's a little bit of respect there. Like, DC will give him his respect, but they still don't like each other as people.
Shawn Ryan
Interesting.
Joe Peifer
Yeah. And they've already competed twice, and so. Yeah, no, none of it's fake.
Shawn Ryan
Who's your arch nemesis?
Joe Peifer
Paul Craig.
Shawn Ryan
Really?
Joe Peifer
Yeah. I don't like that dude. I don't know. I just. He didn't even do anything to me. I just don't like him. I don't like him.
Shawn Ryan
I just don't like them.
Joe Peifer
I don't like it, man. Because, you know, I. I had a fight last year and I fought this guy Mark Andre Barriol, who I did like after the fact, but I called him out, he said he accepted. He was a 205er, and I wanted to fight because he had beat the. The Current champion Magomed on Kalaev. Um, you know, he just got lucky, I think, for sure. Um, but, you know, he's a 205er. I don't like his theatrics of putting on his face paint and getting in people's face and doing the mean mug and everything like that. But then fights like a bitch, in my opinion. He lays on his back. He's a back princess. So I don't. Yeah, I don't know. I don't like the guy. And then I went into grappa against him in a jiu jitsu tournament, and he put his name there. Then when they offered my name to him, he disappeared. So it's just, you know, I tried to beg the matchmaker to give me that fight. It wouldn't happen. And I'm like, you know, any fight that I asked for, I really haven't gotten, which is kind of frustrating. So it is.
Shawn Ryan
What you ask for fights is that. Is that.
Joe Peifer
I'll give them. Yeah, I'll give them suggestions. Look, the UFC basically is like, they offer you a fight, you take it. If you don't, they'll bench you. So it is what it is. You know, you're really not in the business of picking your fights, which is fine. You got to fight who they tell you to fight.
Shawn Ryan
So what happens if two people want to fight each other? Is it. Does it go farther?
Joe Peifer
Not all the time. Not all the time. Like. Like I said, me and Paul Craig, he said he accepted after I called him out, after I won fight. And then, you know, it never happened, and it was kind of just lost in the air. So I was pretty disappointed with that. When I first made my debut and I had won my fight, I wanted to fight the guy I broke my elbow against. He was already in the ufc. He got a contract off of me, breaking my arm. And I felt some type of way about that because I didn't think he deserved it. It wasn't. It wasn't like he made me tap. It wasn't like he was whooping my ass. It wasn't like he submitted me or, you know, knocked me out. So I was like, how does this guy get a contract? And then he went on. He was, like, wanting three in his first four or something like that, or two and four in his first five or six. And, yeah, they wouldn't give it to me. I actually talked to Dana White personally, was begging him for the fight because I wanted to get him back, just because, you know, I got some pretty bad scarring from it. And I wanted to hurt that motherfucker. So.
Shawn Ryan
Damn.
Joe Peifer
Unfortunately, I've had to put it in the rearview mirror. I think I'm so far ahead of. Ahead of him that I'm never going to get that fight back. It is what it is, but, yeah, I fucking hate Paul Craig. I think he's a bitch.
Shawn Ryan
Right on, man. Well, let's move into your life story. You ready?
Joe Peifer
Yeah.
Shawn Ryan
Where'd you grow up?
Joe Peifer
So I was born in Violin, New Jersey, small town. I lived in Pittsgrove from the time of four years old until 15. And one of five kids. Got four sisters, two older, two younger, and we're all blood related. And my parents were married for about 20 years before they got divorced. And. Yeah, so grew up in Pittsgrove. It was more of like a farmland type deal. And I loved nature, things like that. I was a pretty quiet, timid kid. My father started learning Jiu jitsu and MMA with a guy named Stephen Haig at probably around when I was about four years old. And then about four and a half years old, my dad started forcing, you know, and I don't want to say it in a bad way, but introducing me into Jiu jitsu and mma. And then that's when I started training, and I wound up having my first Jiu Jitsu tournament at five years old.
Shawn Ryan
You started at four years old?
Joe Peifer
Four and a half, yeah, four and a half. And then I started competing right before I was six. At five years old, my first competition, I think was August 3rd or August 4th of 2003. And I was born in 1996, so I would have been turning six that year. Wow.
Shawn Ryan
I'm starting my kid at three.
Joe Peifer
You started him at three? Yeah, man, even better.
Shawn Ryan
I wrestled. I wasn't any good, but I wrestled. And I remember in high school, I'd be like, they would come around, oh, this guy started at 5. And I'd be like, oh, fuck, here we go.
Joe Peifer
Yeah. I will say, I think wrestling is the greatest foundation, even over Jiu Jitsu. I think wrestling, if you're going to go in combative sports, obviously, I think wrestling, wrestling is. Is the greatest.
Shawn Ryan
Why do you think that?
Joe Peifer
I would also venture to say it's better than Jiu jitsu. Even if you aren't going to be in the UFC because it's. It's still a team sport, but it's an individual score. So the performance is about you, but you're obviously still working with your teammates and you still have discipline, you know, weight class. You're still trying to compete to be on the varsity team, things like that. And it just really teaches you to work as a unit, whereas Jiu Jitsu is a little bit more selfish. And I think for kids, it's good to work as a team versus working individually, and you constantly having all the attention, you know, so. Because then you think it's always about you. So I know what wrestling did for me, and I started late, and I think. I think I would be even more dangerous had I learned wrestling a little bit earlier than I learned Jiu Jitsu. So I think wrestling is great. Teaches kids discipline, commitment, diet, health, how to lose. How to lose. Yeah. Yeah. They freak out. If you freak out, you lose the team points, and you can get sat out. Yeah. So I would definitely say that that's the greatest foundation, you know, going through your.
Shawn Ryan
All the information that I've looked at on you. I mean, it's. It's. I read that your first memories, you think are a one year old.
Joe Peifer
No, my first memories are about five years old. Five years old, from what I was told. My first memories that were bad is that. And I was told this by my mother, who has pictures, that I started getting beat at a year old.
Shawn Ryan
You started getting beat at a year old?
Joe Peifer
Yeah. So the story behind that, and that's when the abuse starts, was from my father, who I guess beat me because I shit my diaper and wiped it on the wall. But that was because I was left unattended in the crib, or I was gonna say crate, but I don't think that's the right word. So I think it was a crib. And my mom, you know, had come home and there was bruises all over me, around the top of my head, down my spine. And it was very frequent that it would happen. So she was initially gonna call. I'm pretty sure she called the cops on him for some reason. I don't know if it was that. But then she would wind up calling the cops on him for some abuse at some point. But, yeah, I started getting beat at a year old. So. Yeah. And we'd had child services in and out of our life all throughout my childhood. But. Yeah, so my earliest. My earliest remembrance of getting beat was, you know, I. I would say five years old, pretty clearly. I don't really remember anything before 5 years old. I don't know if that's normal or not, but that's. That's basically when I remember it. And it was because of Jiu Jitsu. So that's. My earliest memories is getting beat over. Jiu Jitsu, whether I couldn't learn to move fast enough or comprehend or something of that manner. So, yeah, how were the.
Shawn Ryan
How were your siblings, your sisters?
Joe Peifer
So I have a sister that was born in 94. A sister was born 95. I'm 96. My younger sister is 98. And then my other sister is in 2000. So Sarah being the oldest, I don't. She was 2-16-98 or, I'm sorry, 94. So I don't know if she's 30 now. We don't talk.
Shawn Ryan
You don't talk?
Joe Peifer
Nah, we don't talk. Just because, you know, there's. There's. That's later on. But, yeah, we don't talk. We don't see eye to eye. She's still going through, I think, a divest, a domestic, violent relationship, and I don't want to be a part of that. And she has kids, and, you know, they kind of cut me off because I whooped one of my sister's boyfriend's asses at one point. And, you know, when they stopped talking to me over that, and then they were upset that I wasn't able to be in their children's lives as much as they'd liked, or they said I didn't have an interest. And it's just kind of like, you know, do I want to have people in my life that don't want to move past the past, or do I want to have people in my life that are trying to, you know, hit new goals and actually achieve, you know, greatness? And I just. I don't want to live in the past all the time. So they're kind of still stuck on the past, and I'm not with that.
Shawn Ryan
Why did you whoop your sister's boyfriend's ass?
Joe Peifer
Because I found out he was a meth head and he told me I wasn't a man. And on top of it, he called me a pussy, so. Had to show him what was up. Didn't like him anyway. Guy was a pathological liar. Cheated on my sister. Now he's dragging her through a really ugly court case, which, you know, I'm not involved in or anything, but, you know, that's just my outsider's view on him. And, you know, he's trying to take her kids away from her type deal. And I think she's a great mother. And so, yeah, it doesn't take much to piss me off, especially if you're a scumbag like he is. So, yeah, I don't respect men that get women pregnant, especially my Sister and then are out there doing drugs. I don't care what low point I'm at in my life, I would never do drugs. I've never done drugs. And I sure. I sure wouldn't do it if I was about to have the greatest responsibility in the world, which was fathering a child. So, yeah, I had no respect for him for it. So.
Shawn Ryan
Yeah.
Joe Peifer
Yeah.
Shawn Ryan
How long ago was that?
Joe Peifer
This was two weeks before I broke my elbow in the contender, my first contender fight. So, yeah, but unfortunately, my. My family has been so damaged by the way that we were brought up. And, you know, there's really no loyalty between our family or there was none. You know, I still. I talk to my mother now, and I talked to that sister that I didn't talk to whose boyfriend I beat up. Me and her still talk now. I talked to my youngest sister. I've seen my second oldest sister, but I haven't seen my oldest sister in probably six, seven years, man. Six years, maybe, Something like that. So does that bother you? Of course it bothers me, you know, but I think the of course is gonna bother me. You know, I don't think that they're bad people. It's just. It's really tough to go around a family that you, you know, is. It's just all broken up and they're all. They're all fucked up. They've all had issues. And I think a part of it is my father never taking accountability and just kind of damaging our life and then going and living his own life, you know, so avoidant of all abuse, of all accusations. And so, yeah, yeah, it definitely bothers me. I want to see them do well. Even if we didn't talk, I want to see them do well. And I think that's what bothers me the most, is my family's always split. They're never. You'll never go to a holiday and everybody's getting along. It's. Well, you're talking to this sister. Well, you're a traitor. Oh, I tried and you're a traitor. They all look at each other's enemies because they don't understand the value of family.
Shawn Ryan
Damn.
Joe Peifer
And I think that's the part that's the most damaging about it all, is that he really disrupted, you know, he really, I think, damaged their insight as to family having their back. You know, it was boys versus girls. It was me and him versus my mom and my sisters. And that was just a dynamic that we grew up in and, you know, ratting each other out or if you ever heard Something that was super, you know, bothered somebody and you had been told like, hey, yeah, you know, I feel this way, or I'm depressed about this. The second you had an argument, you'd throw it in their face. So you never had trust between your siblings and you never had trust in your parents. So, yeah, man, we were all victims of this guy's abuse and it was like we were little slaves to him.
Shawn Ryan
Damn. Let's dive in a little bit more deep. What kind of stuff? Let's talk about some positive stuff, if there is any. What were you into as a kid?
Joe Peifer
Yeah, no, there's some positive things I will say. One of my favorite singers, first memory I ever had that I actually remember from 5 years old is Celine Dion. Yeah. I'm freezing, by the way.
Shawn Ryan
Are you?
Joe Peifer
I'm chattering.
Shawn Ryan
Here we go. I've been here a little bit.
Joe Peifer
But yeah, first. First song I ever remember hearing was I'm Alive by Celine Dion. It was one of my favorites. And yeah, there were some good things. You know, I'd gone fishing with my grandfather a couple times, who I only met a couple times. And that was a really good memory for me. I used to love it. He would always play Celine Dion. So it was like a monumental point in my life. And I thought a lot of her music got me through some really lonely times in life, especially being young. It was always uplifting, always liked it. You know, it sounds funny, but I loved it. So that was a good memory. And even, you know, I had some really good memories with my pops with some of the jiu jitsu, especially when I won, you know, he seemed to be very proud early on and. But that was very short lived. It was probably for about two tournaments that I can remember. It was the first one and first one. And then probably in 2007, one of the grapplers quests that I had won. He was very happy. So my first. And then that was probably the last time that I ever felt like he was happy or proud of me. What are there some good times? We went to the beach a few times. Me and him would go play video games at the arcade. I was always into video games. I was homeschooled. So I grew up homeschooled from, you know, the time I started school until about eighth grade. Then that's when I was in school all the way up until I graduated. I had a short stint where I was in public school from about 5 years old. Started getting bullied, got pulled out, and then eighth grade, obviously till graduation. I was in Public school, but.
Shawn Ryan
So were you getting bullied at five years old?
Joe Peifer
Yeah. Yeah. Y. Well, just because we had hand me down clothes. We were the poorest, probably one of the poorest families that were going there. So they'd make fun of my clothes or make fun of my hair or. Yeah, I don't remember kids. I just remember getting into it with a kid in the locker room where they were gonna jump me and, you know, kid was, like, telling me some vulgar things like, oh, you can suck on these balls, all this shit, like. And you're talking about kids that are in fifth grade, you know, And I wasn't used to that. I wasn't a fighter. I trained, but I didn't have a mean bone in my body. It wasn't. It was kind of a bitch, honestly. So it just wasn't how I was raised. My mom tried to stop me from doing jiu jitsu. Didn't want me to have a mean demeanor and things like that. She didn't want my growth to get stunted because, like, when we trained, we trained hard. It wasn't. It wasn't like a little, like, kid, like, hey, yeah, you know, good job type thing. It was. What are you. Can't get it. Getting slapped, getting hit, getting screamed at the entire time, you know, crying and still trying to learn, you know, you can't put a kid in a stressful situation like that. And, yeah, you always felt like. I always. I grew up thinking that there was something wrong with me, so just because I always thought I had, like, a learning disability or maybe I was fucking like, I don't. I didn't. I had no idea what it was.
Shawn Ryan
So who would slap you around?
Joe Peifer
My father. My father. So, you know, if you could learn something and he was trying to teach you, he would get very frustrated and scream at you. Including my sisters. You know, it wasn't just me. My sisters all learned Jiu Jitsu, too. My older sister used to be a pretty. She was a young Ronda Rousey. Probably would have whipped her ass if she stuck with it, but wow, you know, then you start hitting puberty, you become a woman, and it's just not what they're into, so it becomes uncomfortable for them, and they didn't want to do it. And he basically disowned them over it and hated their guts. So. But yeah. So back to the good memories. You know, we've gone to the beach a couple times, and we always cherish those moments. You know, we're kids, so it wasn't really hard to win Us over with good times. My mom did her absolute best and even though I feel like she was an absent mother as far as love with me because of my father and just the dynamic of our family, I will always respect her work ethic. Withholding two and three jobs with a husband that refused to work.
Shawn Ryan
He didn't work.
Joe Peifer
So he was a loyal truck driver and he got hit in an accident. He got T boned and apparently blew his back out or you know, had a herniation, I'm not sure what the details were of that, but basically had a back injury and then went and got surgery in 2004 and collected SSD ever since and never worked a job. He would try some odd and end jobs like he did really cool woodwork like scroll saw work, like portraits, but they never really made any money. And then he had an outdoor repair business with outboard motors. So I would help him with that as basically his tollboy and which I loved, you know, I used to love. I love cars, I always love cars, I always love loud and I always enjoyed being by the beach, always loved boats, always loved fishing. So that was a cool outlet, even though it was miserable because you're getting screamed at the whole time, you know, getting the wrong tool, shit like that. But you know, it was good for me, it was really good for me. So, you know, you tried to do an income as far as that, but never used it to help the family, never used it to buy the family shit. It was just always for himself. And it was never enough money to ever even do anything for the family anyway. But.
Shawn Ryan
I've spent years on this show pulling back the curtain and trying to reveal what's really happening in this country. And the truth is there's a double standard here in America. You see time and time again people defending themselves, defending their family, and then the judicial system goes after them. It's a double standard. And if you don't believe me, check out episode number three with Don Bradley. That is a perfect example of what I'm talking about. Because it's not just about what you did, believe it or not, it's how the legal system interprets it. And that's why I'm a USCCA member. The USCCA has over 860,000 members because they know the reality is after you stop the threat, the real fight begins. Your membership gives you the education, elite training and self defense liability insurance you need for the second fight, the legal one. Plus every member also gets access to a 24, 7 critical response team and attorney network in the event of a self defense incident. Violent crime happens too often in America. This isn't about living in fear. This is about being prepared when things go sideways. You don't get to schedule danger. And with the world changing so fast, you have to do what you can to protect your family. Check out the USCCA's risk free membership@uscca.com SRS that's uscca.com SRS protect more than just your life. Protect your future. Go right now to uscca.comsrs what if you could delay your next two mortgage payments? That's right. Imagine putting those two payments in your pocket and finally getting a little breathing room. It's possible if you call American Financing today. If you're feeling stretched by everyday expenses, groceries, gas bills piling up, you are not alone. Most Americans are putting these expenses on credit cards and there doesn't seem to be a way out. American Financing can show you how to use your home's equity to pay off that debt. You need to call American Financing today to get ahead of the curve. Their salary based mortgage consultants are helping homeowners just like you restructure their loans and consolidate debt, all without upfront fees. And their customers are saving an average of $800 a month. That's like a $10,000 a year raise. It's fast, it's simple and it could save your budget this summer. Call now at 866-781-8900 that's 866-781-8900 or you can go to americanfinancing.net SRS NMLS.
Joe Peifer
182334 nmlsconsumeraccess.org Foreign.
Shawn Ryan
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Joe Peifer
Good things. Yeah. Another good memory was obviously, you know, winning a couple of tournaments, like I had said, but those were good memories. Video games were good memories to a certain extent, but everything that was good wind up becoming super abusive. So. Really, yeah, everything started out good and my dad had great qualities, he really did, but he let whatever demons that he has take over and things really, really, really went. I mean, he always had a temper, always, but things really went bad after the surgery. I think he. I think he started to lose his mind a little bit because of narcotics. And I never really realized that until a couple years ago, though. But, you know, he was always on gabapentin, Xanax, perks, Oxys. What's the other one? I don't remember. But, you know, and he would always drink a yingling or two yinglings with it, you know, and that shit makes you very thin tempered.
Shawn Ryan
What do you mean? Started out good? I mean, we just talked about at age one.
Joe Peifer
Yeah, I think when I say started out good is like first tournament, super proud, super happy. I won. I submitted everybody five years old. Great memory, you know, one of my greatest memories in competition. It's what started everything.
Shawn Ryan
You remember that, love?
Joe Peifer
I remember that, yeah. Very well. I'm pretty sure I leg locked a kid and I armbar the kid and I think I leg locked another kid or maybe I. I think I armbar guillotine and leg lock. So it was a very good memory for me. I got to see Ken Shamrock down there, which was one of my favorite fighters as I was young. It was one of the first people I remember watching him and his brother, Frank Shamrock, who was Pankration, and, you know, he was proud and. Same thing with, like, video games. It used to be fun and then it got really bad. I got one of the worst beatings of my life over a video game in the end.
Shawn Ryan
Why? For a fucking video game?
Joe Peifer
Because I was fucking good at video games and I was co op playing with him and I was stealing his kills. Sounds so fucking stupid. Sounds so stupid, brother, but sorry, I'm nice at video games.
Shawn Ryan
Do you remember that?
Joe Peifer
Yeah. Oh, of course. Well, that. That last beating was. I was 15, 16. I was 15 going on 16. And it was right before, it was one of the last beatings I got before I ran away. So started out good, ended bad. Competition started out good. And then if my dad's the kind of guy where. If he's not in absolute control and he's not in the spotlight and I don't give all glory to him, you're dead to him. So that's how it changed, you know, the first competition, he was just happy, and I think he had good intentions. And I will always be grateful for his introduction into the sport. It's how I know what it is. It's how I've gone to, you know, do what I've done because of his introduction. But I will. I will say this. He gave me tools he never thought I would go and build a house with. So he gave me the tools, and that's it. And then other people gave me the blueprint, and I've gone and built the house. So that's the best way to look at this story. And, yeah, you know, like I said, competition used to be good, turned bad.
Shawn Ryan
Would you say your first memory is getting your ass kicked by your dad? I mean, could you be descriptive? What. What was that about?
Joe Peifer
I remember we were wrestling, and the. We were wrestling in the living room. It's also the memory of when I first remember hearing some Celine Dion, and he had hysteria, and we were wrestling, and I guess I choked him a little too hard at five years old.
Shawn Ryan
Five years old.
Joe Peifer
At five years old, he basically let me take his back and I put a choke on him, and I remember squeezing it too hard, I guess, for his liking at 5 years old. And he wound up flipping me over and slamming me right on my head, basically like a ddt, the way I landed straight up on my head. And then he kicked me, and that was the first beating into. Into jiu jitsu that I remember. So I'd been slapped a ton of times, numerous times, brother, more than I could count over learning or over learning something slow. I used to get beat if I took too long with our homeschool curriculum just to do a phonics page, which was English for homeschool curriculum. I mean, he would beat you, would. He would beat your ass bad, you know, split your skin bad. So sister's got the same type of abuse. But I've been hit with a jump rope by him, which was probably the worst. I've been hit with the metal end of a fly swatter. Been hit with spoons. Yeah, I've been hit with a lot. So, yeah. And it was almost like he took pleasure. That's the one thing that bothers me about that dude, is he took pleasure in it. The louder you screamed, it was almost like it fed the rage that he had. Like, almost. If you've. Which kind of like what I have with fighting, if I hit somebody and I'll knock them out, I'm gonna keep hitting them. It's like that. It's like that. It's like fuel to the fire. I don't know. It's a very weird, very weird thing. I think he thought, like, he was the man by doing it. And, yeah, it was a little bit disturbing because it's almost like he wanted an excuse to hit us or punish us. We used to get put in the corner, and I'm talking about all of us, not just me. I got it double time because I was the boy. But I mean, our punishments would be standing in the corner too, but we'd be standing in the fucking corner for three plus hours. So, yeah, damn. So that was my first memory of getting beat. That I remember.
Shawn Ryan
Let's walk through, like a daily routine in your life as a kid.
Joe Peifer
Wake up, make myself eggs. He would wake me up at like 7:00am which, you know, isn't crazy, sometimes 6:00am And I would go outside and we'd had like a cinder block. And he would make me push it, sprint to it, throw it, sprint to it. We had like, tops to outboard motors. They were the caps on outboard motors. And we'd have like three or four of them because he had a couple boats there that he was working on. And we'd set them up like hurdles. So I'd run, jump over, jump over, jump over. Then we would do sprints. We just did a lot of, like, natural body weight workouts. And then we would play video games or I would have to do some type of homeschool. But at that time, my mom wasn't working three jobs, so she was the one teaching us in the early half before he became disabled. And yeah, so we would do that, but then we would play video games. We had a PlayStation 1. I've always been a PlayStation kid. And I loved video games. Always loved video games. It was like a little escape from reality for me and just constant seriousness. So then, yeah, that was. It was probably video games and training. That was most of my. That was most of my life. And sometimes we go to the shore with like 20 bucks and just like that's all we had. And we would fucking play arcade games. So it used to. Those were the good memories. You know, and they didn't last very long.
Shawn Ryan
When would he start beating? Did you notice any routine? Was it drinking? Was it drugs? Was it the same time every day? Was it.
Joe Peifer
No, it wasn't the same time. It was. It was very frequent. I probably got beat a minimum of five times a week. But, you know, it usually was over Jiu Jitsu. So I started to resent Jiu Jitsu and hate it. And I just wanted to play with toys and I wasn't really loud. And if I did play with toys, he would come in my room and like kick off. I've been spending hours building Lincoln Logs and he would just come in and took pleasure in making me cry and would like fucking smash all, like kick it all over my room. Just literally I'd be sitting there peaceful playing and he would come up the stairs and walk in and just kick all my shit over. And then I would cry and he'd call me a pussy and walk out and stop crying like a pussy or fucking toys and then just leave. I was like five years old. You know, it hurts your feelings. You don't understand it, you don't know how to process it. And it's not that bad, right? But I mean, it's still like, why? So he would do a lot of things that were just didn't make sense. Countless beatings over the Jiu Jitsu, including my sister screaming at them, smacking them, pulling them by the hair, throwing them. If he got so frustrated, he would grab you by your hair and fucking throw you face down and then tell you to go to your room and leave you in your room for days, hours, and I mean hours. Like 8 to 10 hours was a minimum as punishment by him. So I used to be so afraid to leave my room after getting punished. I would piss out the window because if I even tried to go to the bathroom to go get a sip, yeah, I got beat the out of for it. So I would piss out my window. So terrified. And I pissed myself till I was about 12 years old. Wake up from nightmares and like that. So I think, I think all the beatings and the. I don't know if it's. I don't know how the mind works, but I just think from all the like trauma of like shock of how bad you would get beat, I think just like led to like really bad nightmares, like devils chasing me and shit like that. So I had a lot of, a lot of bad nightmares. Seeing like, like, like, I don't know if they were demons on the wall or whatever the Fuck it was that I was thinking I was seeing. Obviously it was not real, but. Yeah, I used to be in a really scared, dark place as a kid, so.
Shawn Ryan
Damn, man.
Joe Peifer
Yeah, what was the.
Shawn Ryan
I mean, what would the conversation be between you and your siblings?
Joe Peifer
We were, we wouldn't really like have a conversation other than that we would say we hated him and that we were afraid of them. You know, we. We all used to say the same story so we wouldn't get in trouble. There's one instance I think so I lied about turning on an electric heater. We always, we were so poor. We got government assistance almost all my life. And you know, after my dad had became disabled, like, it was even harder, you know, and. And then our mom was never there to protect us from them because she was working. So that was when shit became scary because it's like, what are we going to do? Like, how are we going to fucking avoid this guy? We couldn't even take a fucking spelling bee. So you would have 20 words, this is part of homeschool curriculum. And you would write the 20 words on a, you know, line, piece of paper. And then you had in your homeschool book, you would, you know, spell the word, you would write the word. He'll read you the word, and then you have to write the word. It was part of spelling. I mean, asking this guy just to take a fucking spelling bee was one of the scariest fucking build up the moment of courage parts of your life because the guy was so fucking aggressive. What the fuck you bothering me for? Get the fuck out of here. Don't you see I'm fucking doing something? Get the fuck out of my face. So we were afraid to learn, but our mom's at work, so how the fuck are we supposed to learn? And he would just sit there on his computer and fucking watch fight videos all day and talk to his friends and play video games or. Yeah, so it was a little bit scary.
Shawn Ryan
Did you guys stand up for each other at all?
Joe Peifer
So unfortunately, no. But yeah, so no, it was really like, the girls really tag teamed me a lot, so I used to hate their guts because anytime there was a beating that was about to get served, they would all rat me out or all blame me just because it was easy and they didn't know any better. You know, it was just kind of what they were taught. It's what we were taught. And you know, I was the boy, so I could handle it. But yeah, I mean, my sisters used to be little, little mean people at one time, you know, I'll get my ass beat. And they'd walk by and smile at me and think it was funny. And I'm sitting there crying and, you know, screaming or whatever. And he used to do the most humiliating where you'd have to pull your pants down. They're all sitting in the living room and you make them all sit in the living room and beat your ass bare naked in front of all of them, which was very humiliating. You know, you got four sisters. I'm pulling my ass out in front of him just so you can beat me. And he would beat you till you cried, until you screamed. And that's how you would get split skin and like that. I hit you bare ass. Over the dumbest man. Over the dumbest. I couldn't even tell you like, necessarily too many specific ones of, like, why he would do it. But, you know, it's not like we cursed. We were a Christian family. We went to church every Sunday. So we didn't curse, we didn't use foul language. But yeah, so it was. It was a little bit. You definitely hold some resentment and anger for a guy after that. But as a child, you have unconditional love for your parents. You know, that was he. I thought he was some great fighter. You know, he came from Kensington, Philadelphia. He had an abusive life. He had fucked up parents. I can't speak on his life other than that. I don't know what's true, what's not true. But yeah, it was a very disappointing thing to have as I got older, the beatings get worse and the betrayal get worse.
Shawn Ryan
He grew up like that.
Joe Peifer
He grew up like that. He definitely had a harder life than me. I don't know what's true and what's not, though, because of all the lies. I think he's the type of guy who tells himself well, he's definitely the type of guy that tells him something until he believes it and then claims it as truth. And that's just a little bit. I don't know if that's a little bit narcissist or psychopath or whatever it is. I'm not a psychologist, but yeah, man, he's told some wild stories that literally are not true that I'll give you an example with. But the one example I wanted to give you is that we had no heat, so we lived in a farmhouse that you had to use oil for heat and we couldn't afford it. It was a couple hundred bucks. I think it was like 450 bucks. Every time you would fill it, it would Last like a month and a half, two months, and we couldn't afford it. And it was winter, and I went down and the morning, I think I'm like 6 years old, and I turned on the heater, and I was sitting by the heater, and the electric heater takes a long time to heat up. And I was sitting by the heater, forgot to turn it off. So I had it on low, you know, but regardless, you know, he tried to pull, oh, you could have burnt the house down. Blah, blah, blah, blah. So he lined us all up and he was like, I'm gonna beat every one of you until one of you tells me the truth. And I did a fucked up thing. I blamed my sister. I was scared. I knew he would beat me to worst. I knew he wouldn't beat them as bad as he beat me. So I blamed my sister and she got beat and I felt like a piece of shit. And so after I felt guilty, I told him that I did it and he beat me anyway. So it was kind of like, what's the point in telling the truth if I'm gonna get fucked up anyway? But I understand, you know, at the same time, I understand you can't lie, or I shouldn't have lied. And I let my sister get beat for something that I did. And that was one thing he always held on to, to try to say that I was a piece of kid at 6 years old and never let me live it down. And my sister hated me for it. And so that caused like a little bit of tension between me and my second older sister. And it is what it is, but, you know, it was cold and it sucked. But I mean, he beat the out of her pretty bad. And it was. Yeah, I still feel some type of way about it felt terrible. So that was one situation with the girls, but there's many. He's grabbed my older sister by her neck, literally off her feet and slammed her head into. We had horse hair, drywall, I guess, because it was a farmhouse. And he's literally put her whole head through the. The wall. He strangled them, ripped their hair, stomped them, same thing as me. Strangled my mother. Hit my mother in front of us numerous times. I'm surprised he never went to jail. He did get locked up once, but I don't remember. He was too young to remember what the charge was for, whether it was domestic violence or whatnot.
Shawn Ryan
So why would he be your mom?
Joe Peifer
Arguments couldn't win an argument or the argument went on too long. One instance was my mom comes in, wasn't even confrontational. And she has her cereal and she sits on the couch and she goes, since when do you watch hockey? He gave her the death stare. Made no sense. Gets up, walks over and literally grabs her by her throat. And she's holding her bowl of cereal out so she doesn't spill it on the couch. She doesn't like making a mess. So he grabs her by her neck. And she's just waiting there. And you see her turning purple. She's turning purple. Purple. Turning purple. And he's like holding her still. And then all of us kids start screaming and freaking out until she finally has to drop her bowl of cereal and start fighting him. Starts to fight him, and he drops her with a body shot. We thought he killed her. I mean, Florida. And all of us kids started like, trying to pull him off. And she's laying there like, like, you know, like winded. Winded. And yeah, we all hated him for it. So that was one instance. He picked up a hammer. He had punched her a bunch of times in front of us. Slapped her a bunch of times in front of us. Yeah, he was just a violent dude, man. And I don't think he. He. There was a huge mood change. Like, you know, I feel like he was a little bit resentful, not or remorseful before 2004, but after that, I mean, once he was on narcotics every day. I mean, he was dependent on these things. Things like he couldn't go without. But the crazy thing is when he got the surgery, they finished his surgery. He had a fusion, so they put like a titanium cage in his back. And it's just the wildest thing because they finished his surgery and double the time that it takes to do that surgery, I think it was like four hours. And they finished in two because he was an in shape guy. So I learned this from my mom because I was still a little bit too young to comprehend all of it. But, you know, he has a successful surgery and then he starts claiming that he has all this pain and all this shit. And he goes in and he's trying to sue the guy and saying that the guy ruined his life and all this crap. But when they did MRIs and they did X rays and they were doing it, there was no inflammation, there was no fluid. And they were telling him like, dude, we don't understand. We understand what you're saying, but we don't see any source for your pain that you're describing. It doesn't exist. So we don't know what you're trying to do. And he didn't become successful with the lawsuit or anything, but he did get SSD off of that. And I think that's just what he wanted. I don't think he wanted to work. And he claimed to be disabled, right. In all this pain. But anytime he wanted to hop up and fuck you up because you pissed him off, it was like he couldn't. He wasn't hurt at all. But he could still do Jiu Jitsu. He could still box. And. Yeah, it didn't make any sense, man. So it just. Yeah, I mean, I've. I've had surgery and I've tried to take. I think they gave me oxy or perk, and I've tried one. I think it was an oxy or perk, don't remember. And I vomited, I threw up, couldn't take it. And. But I will say I felt very agitated after taking it. So I can't imagine if that's what you're on all the time. It suppresses emotions or agitates you, and that's what you're on and you're dependent on for. I think. I think it was an addict. There's only. It's the only way to say it. You're an addiction. And you would drink with it. And he used to fucking brag about how you could take Vico 4 Vico, drink two beers and still drive home. And with us in the car. So, damn.
Shawn Ryan
What would snap him out of it?
Joe Peifer
Out of what?
Shawn Ryan
Out of his rage.
Joe Peifer
Nothing. You couldn't stop that dude when he wanted to be that way. That's how he was. Nothing would snap. I think fear of going to jail would be the only thing that would snap him out of it. My mom would threaten to call the cops and put him in jail. And then that's when he would, like, get even more violent verbally. But you could tell he was afraid to go to jail. He's a real big tough guy against people that couldn't fight back. That's always been him. He somehow always seemed to pick the right people to fuck with that he knew couldn't whoop his ass. But his biggest claim to fame is that he was 115 and 4. And the crazy thing about that is, I'm Joseph Oliver Piper V. He's Joseph Oliver Piper iv. You look my name up, I'm sanctioned. I fought for commissions, I've done medicals. You can find my name anywhere. Obviously, I'm in the UFC. I'm legit. This dude's been telling people for 20 plus years. Probably 35 plus years. Now he's 54 or 53, that he's 115 and 4. How do we have Sugar Ray Leonard, Sugar Ray Robinson, It's Jersey Joe Walart, Walcott, Floyd Mayweather, you know, Rocky Marciano. We have all these guys, amateur records. My dad's telling everybody's 115 to 4 where look his name up, try to find it. He's a liar. He's. But he said it so many times. And he's a convincing guy. He's easily a master manipulator. They can say it to you straight to your face without blinking, without switching up, like, yeah, I'm 115, seen it for where, bro? Even in his. He's even made a documentary recently to try and say that I stole his story. He's the real homeless kid. And people have been trying to put his name down in the MMA world talking about me, but, you know, there's no proof behind anything.
Shawn Ryan
He says he made a documentary.
Joe Peifer
Yeah. So he's made a whole documentary. He was even trying to make another one. He made a documentary basically saying that his son stole his story, being me. And I did it to get clout and attention and sympathy from people.
Shawn Ryan
Where is this documentary?
Joe Peifer
YouTube. And he's got 50,000 views off my name, so. But if you look at the documentary and you watch the documentary, there's nothing that addresses the allegations of me saying that he abused my mother. There's nothing that addresses the abuse of his daughters. And one thing that stands true, what he doesn't realize is there's six. Six people that say the same thing. And he completely acts like they don't exist. The same way that, you know, it's been 12 or 14 years since. I don't remember exact years, but, you know, it's been 12 to 14 years that he left my mother and moved in with another reject that now divorced him. But I think she's a piece of too, because she stood there and watched me get beat worse than I ever got beat in my life and didn't do a thing about it. So I don't like that lady, but I still have, like, anger for that woman.
Shawn Ryan
But, yeah, why do you think so he left your mom. Your mom didn't leave him.
Joe Peifer
Yeah. So the whole story is, you know, obviously all the things between me and him when I was 15, he is already cheating on my mother with a girl that liked me in high school's mom, and my mom and my four sisters left me and my father because she couldn't Take it anymore. And the abuse of the daughters, and she just needed to get away from them. And I hated my mom.
Shawn Ryan
Hold on. Why did. Why did you stay with him?
Joe Peifer
Because all I had was Jiu Jitsu.
Shawn Ryan
That's why.
Joe Peifer
And I was brainwashed by him to believe that my mother was out to get us and ruin my life and his life. And I loved him unconditionally, despite all the abuse.
Shawn Ryan
Whoa, hold on. How does he mind fuck you into thinking that your mother is the one after you when he's the one that's kicking your ass every day?
Joe Peifer
Yeah, I mean, I got beat by my mom too. Nowhere near the same extent by him. But the reason being is because, like I said, my mom was kind of absent with me because I was like a little clone for my dad. Everything he told me to say, I would say it. And I think a part of the reason that became true is because we're homeschooled. So not to say that we developed slower, but we definitely didn't realize what was normal and what was. We had no idea we were in an abusive home. We just thought that that's the way it was because we were homeschooled until fucking eighth grade.
Shawn Ryan
You didn't have any friends?
Joe Peifer
Nope. None. I didn't have my first friend over till I was 14.
Shawn Ryan
Are you serious?
Joe Peifer
Yeah. Yeah. No friends, no phone. I didn't have a phone until I had a job. And I would fucking bail hay and do odds and end jobs here, you know, mow lawns and do things like that to be able to pay for my phone bill. So I had no friends. How the are we supposed to know when we're sheltered from everything? And we always were told. And I think my mom. My mom always had the best intentions, but my dad, you know, it was like we were little slaves for him. He would bang on the upstairs if he wanted one of the kids to come and make him something to eat. I've never seen that dude cook a meal for himself, ever. He didn't treat us like kids that he loved. He treated us like servants that he had. So, yeah, so, yeah, you know, I was in jiu jitsu, and that was my identity. That was the only thing that I could excel in, regardless of what he felt. But after that first competition, if I had ever beat anyone, it was, oh, you beat tomato cans, you beat crumbs, you're sandbagging all this bullshit. And I was, mind you, I was 13, you know, 12. I was always going against older kids, and if I lost, it was I was a disgrace to his name, and I was pathetic. And he can't believe it. Wasted his time and his money. And I was a piece of. And I would get beat over that, you know, if I lost, I would get my ass whooped because I embarrassed him in his name. And that was the craziest thing, is embarrass his name. What the is your name? What have you done? I couldn't tell you. The guy right now lives in a one bedroom apartment. He's been divorced twice. The chick that he left my mother for divorced him. Don't know why, but I'm sure it's something abusive. There's plenty of cases that I could say that, you know, prove that he fucking views people as his slave and his servant more than he does a companion or someone that he loves. But, you know, he's been divorced twice. He lives in a one bedroom apartment, he has no money. And he has one recent friend that all of a sudden came out of the woodwork as his best friend to be in the documentary against me, who's never met my mother or my sisters. And now he goes back to a black Baptist church when he was one of the most racist people I've ever met. So maybe not now, but I mean, that's kind of that dynamic of this guy's snakeskin and.
Shawn Ryan
Nobody knew what was going on. Like, what about your jiu jitsu coach?
Joe Peifer
Yeah, so team. And so my jiu jitsu coach was my father when I was young. He's the one that taught me everything when I was young.
Shawn Ryan
So you wouldn't even interact with other kids unless you're in a tournament?
Joe Peifer
Yep. And I wouldn't even interact with them or just compete against them. The only people I interacted with. So Steve Hagg owned Fight Factory, and I'm not sure if you're familiar with Eddie Alvarez. He was a former UFC champion. He fought Conor McGregor. He was a 155 champion, fought in Bellator, fought Michael Chandler, really big name in mma. And he knew me since I was five years old. There was numerous times that Steve Hagg, Eddie Alvarez, Sam, or Pisa, you know, had mentioned like, yo, you're going too hard on this kid. He would make Me fist fight 16 years old at 16 year olds at 13 just to do it. And I'd be getting my head caved in. But I was, no, I still fight him.
Shawn Ryan
Where would he.
Joe Peifer
At the gym. And then they would stop it. I remember Steve Hagg stopped it and he was like, dude, what are you doing? Like, you're making this kid fight a 16 year old who's like way bigger than way like big kid's been in 50 street fights. And what are you doing? Trying to. Like you're getting his head kicked in and he's crying and I'm bleeding and like you're just, you're. The whole time he's telling me I'm a loser, I'm not listening. See, this kid's. So they wound up pulling him aside and we're like, yo, you can't treat this kid like this. And just numerous times they'd heard how he talked to me and they would try to tell him and he would tell him to fuck off, stay out of his business. Don't tell me how to parent. You don't have fucking kids. Who are you to talk to me? And so eventually all their friendships ended because of it. And yeah, so many people saw it, they didn't know the extent of it because nobody was ever over at our house for the most part.
Shawn Ryan
So you legitimately had no idea that that wasn't normal?
Joe Peifer
No idea. Not until I went to public school. And then I went to public school and I was starting to get smart. I was hearing about the things that kids would do with their parents and going on vacations and shit like that. And I'm like, what the fuck? And they're like, oh yeah, we're all going. Like some kids would be like, oh, if you want to go hang out here, if you want to go do this or do that. And I'm like, I can't. My dad wouldn't even fucking drop me off. My dad wouldn't drive me anywhere.
Shawn Ryan
So how quick did you pick up on that stuff?
Joe Peifer
I don't think very fast. I mean, I would say not very, not slow either. But I would say by the end of my eighth grade year, my first year in public school, my first full year in public school, I was like, this is not normal. And then into like my sophomore year, I really realized like, how sheltered we were and how good, you know, some parents were involved. They were like, he wouldn't take me to wrestling. And it was wild. It was like he didn't want. The whole reason he didn't want me to wrestle is because he didn't want somebody else to coach me. And how he always talked about me was like property. Like somebody's going to take what I built. That's how he would talk. I built you. You owe me your life. Like, those were the things he would tell me every day. So you feel worthless, you don't feel like you have any value. You just feel like a servant all the time. And it's like, dude, what about me? What about what I want to do? I don't give a. About your feelings. Kill yourself. All this.
Shawn Ryan
Like, he would tell you to kill yourself?
Joe Peifer
Yeah. The last one of the last beatings I got before I ran away, I remember telling him I started having, like, depression to a severe level. That's what I think it was. I always felt like. I never. Always felt like this empty hole in my stomach. And I could never identify what it was or understand what it was. But after my father and I had left my mom and we moved in with this new fucking woman that he was with, he. He didn't do anything with me. Like, nothing. And it was almost like he paraded me as. It was almost like he took pride in beating me up in front of her to show her what a tough guy he was, like, how bad he was. And, like, it was just fucking corny, man. It was corny, you know, he knew I would never swing on him because he had told me a story because I was a Christian. And he had told me a story about how he hit his father and knocked him out, which I don't know is true. I have no idea if it's true, but that's what he told me when I was really young. And he was like, you gotta promise that you'll never. You'll never put your hands on your parents. And I remember promising. And, like, I always held that close. Like, I never wanted to have that kind of relationship where I'd hit my father or fought back against him, but he would fucking tee off on me. And I wasn't getting slapped, bro. I wasn't getting, you know, like a spanking. I was getting up and I would have to cover like a real man and shield and hide. So I wasn't. I mean, he broke two of my teeth. He fractured my orbital bone. Yeah. So the dude was. He actually broke my teeth in front of my friend. The first friend I'd had over. His name is Billy Cruz, and great kid. Still friends with him today. He had a up life, too. And we were over playing video games, playing Call of Duty. Think I was whooping his ass as usual on there and fucking. He was trying to, like, pick on me the whole time. Pick on me the whole time. Pick on me the whole time. And I finally got sick of it, and I was like, dude, why do you always gotta do this one with my friends over. That's all I Said, man, this dude jumped up and fucking punched me like he was fighting for a world title. All the way into the kitchen and I was covering up and he fucking uppercut me and broke my teeth out of my mouth. 13, 14 years old, and my friend's standing there like, what the? Like, he got sent home after that. His wife, his second wife watched me get beat to death, basically, and did nothing about it. Did nothing about it. And then he brainwashed her to the point that she was like, oh, you were a bad kid. You were always mouthing off, mouthing off. And I was like, questioning isn't mouthing off. Questioning why I'm getting beat isn't mouthing off. But his thing was, like, when I say jump, you say, how high?
Shawn Ryan
You would ask him why you're getting.
Joe Peifer
Beat all the time.
Shawn Ryan
How would you ask him?
Joe Peifer
After I got fucked up, I would say, why do you hate me so much? He would tell me he hopes I fucking die and I kill myself and my feelings don't matter. And yeah, that was pretty much the premise of it. So he would never give me an explanation. It was just a rage. You could tell he had, like the crazy eyes, man. He was one of them guys that has the crazy eyes. And I really started to fucking hate him. So then I really started contemplating killing the motherfucker in his sleep or killing myself. And that's when I had to get the fuck out of there. So. But he left my mom to lead up to that part. He left my mom and was already cheating on her. He had cheated on her already, but then he was talking to this. This lady and he moved in with her. And she had already had two of her own kids and basically there was like four or five of us in a two bedroom apartment and the whole situation was up. And yeah, I mean, he did nothing with me. He told me if I joined the wrestling team, I can walk to school. So that's where Will Harmonize came into play. Who was my wrestling coach, who had would pick me up in the morning and drop me off. Sometimes I'd walk to school if I ever missed a bus, you know, when I was living with him, I had to walk to school a couple miles in the winter. So it is what it is. I'm appreciative of Will Harmon. I think he saved my life in a dark place. He was the only person who looked at me and actually gave a about me and said, yeah, I think you can do it. I think you can be a great wrestler. I think you can be an MMA Fighter, I think you can do. I think Joe Pifer can do whatever the fuck he puts his mind to. And he was the first person in my life that ever really made me feel like that. Like, man, somebody actually believes in me and cares about me because I'm just me, not because of him. Sam Orpiza, he tried to cut me off from jiu jitsu at 15 years old. I started submitting that when I was 16. And so I think it started fucking with his head. Like, this kid's starting to get strong. This kid's starting to. Like, I could manhandle him a little bit on the ground. And so I think that's why the beatings got worse. I think he was literally trying to beat me into submission and, like, being a coward and just always being under his thumb and never leaving him. I think that was his biggest fear was once he realized I started excelling and getting in shape and really started loving it for myself from the time at 13 years old on, it was my way of, like, rebelling against him. Jeez, dude, I was like, fuck you. I'll start doing this for me. And I remember telling him that one time, I'm not competing for you anymore. I'm competing for me. And I remember seeing, like, Gruddy's teeth, like, pissed off. Like, if he could have killed me, he would have. And the amount of times that this man has threatened to shoot me is fucking crazy. Crazy. He would threaten to shoot you all the time. All the time. All the time. And thank God, when I lived with him, he didn't have a gun. But then his. His fucking wife had a gun, a couple guns, and he made sure to tell me he had them. He threatened to kill my coach, my high school coach, and a Wawa. Or threatened to beat his ass. I don't remember which one. Either threatened to kill him or threaten to beat his ass. But he was like, you're the one helping my kid. And he was like, yeah. He's like, yeah, I should fuck you up or something like that, or I should fucking kill you. And it was like, for what? Because he's being the father role that you wouldn't be. You know, because he gives a fucking. You don't. And, you know. But I think my biggest gripe with that guy is the amount of the lack of remorse and the lack of accountability. He's not a man. Men take accountability. Men face. You know, they face the choir, and they say, hey, I fucked up. Never has he ever done that. And anytime. The worst part, after I had Left was that he made fun of the fact that I was sleeping in a park. Mind you, I slept in. In a park for less than two weeks. And I joined the wrestling team. So I would shower there. I got one free meal from school.
Shawn Ryan
Hold on, hold on, hold on. Well, let's go back. So one thing that is on my mind is. Is, you know, you had. You had. You had just said that you had thought about either killing yourself or your father. So, I mean, what were those thoughts like?
Joe Peifer
Yeah, man.
Shawn Ryan
So which one were you leaning towards the most?
Joe Peifer
Killing myself. Yeah.
Shawn Ryan
How were you gonna do it?
Joe Peifer
The only thing that ever came to mind, because it was. The only thing I had access to was cutting my throat.
Shawn Ryan
How old?
Joe Peifer
I was 15.
Shawn Ryan
15 years old?
Joe Peifer
Yeah.
Shawn Ryan
So thinking about slitting your own fucking throat?
Joe Peifer
Yeah. Or his. Or his. I got tired of it, man. You know, I got tired of expressing myself and I got tired of feeling that feeling of, like, worthless. I felt like I had no value in life. I felt like I was just breathing air. And then when he's trying to cut me off from Jiu Jitsu, I'm literally going to school and coming home to an abusive home. And there's nothing positive in my life. And he made it clear to know. Let him know how much he fucking hated me. And I should have stayed with your fucking mom. If you were with my mom. If I was with my mom, I probably would have been put in juvie, which was probably true at that point with our relationship. She had threatened to put me away in a home. But I also hated my mom's guts because it's what I was convinced to do. And I started cursing at my mom, you know, before we had left. You know, tell her to fuck off. And one of the worst things for me that I still feel bad about with my mom is lying about where my dad was when he was cheating on her. Because I was given that responsibility to not, you know. I know.
Shawn Ryan
Yeah, you knew.
Joe Peifer
So when she left, there was one instance he took advantage that I love video games. And it was the only thing I had. I didn't have friends come over all the time. You know what I mean? It's not like I had a cell phone unless I had, like, a little phone, but I didn't. I had, like, two people's numbers. His and, like, one friend. And one time he fucking. It was like 2am and he fucking leaves. This is actually a great, great part to tell. So my mom's living with one of her friends on a farm with my four sisters. And they're living in like, it basically was a shithole. And they were all sleeping in her living room on fucking couches and like blow up mattresses and stuff. So it's not like they had the comfort of like living in a nice house. They were living in a shitty situation, but they were just happy to be away from him. And I wasn't. I was stuck with him. And we lived off. She was gone for about six months and me and my father lived on instant oatmeal for breakfast, lunch and dinner besides the free lunch that I would get sometimes from the school. And electric got shut off at one point. And one of my black friends named Scott Rosebarrow, his grandmother had fronted us money so we could stay there because we were going to get evicted. And then our electric got shut off. And she paid that all for him in the end, you know, short story, all for him in the end to call him a racial slur, which you know what that means, and never pay her back. So he ruined my friendship with her. I was still close with, you know, my friend Scott, but, you know, we lost connection over the years just because I think things just got awkward. But yeah. So at like 2am, he goes and leaves to go bang this woman who was cheating on her husband as well. And. And they. They fuck in the car. And only time he let me play fucking video games is when he was going out to do something fucked up. And. And then when he was with this woman that he wound up moving at. But wait before I jump onto that. So he goes and he does that thing. The lady's husband winds up finding out. I don't know if it was days later or weeks later or whatever because they were fucking around for a little while and I wasn't talking to my mom at all when she had left. So the guy finds out and comes to the house, says he's gonna kill me and him. And he's an older dude and he couldn't fight. Dude was a bitch, but shows up banging on the door. And my dad, the coward that he is fucking hides in the other room and tells me if he walks in, hit him with this. And he had a wooden bat, like a wooden staff. And it had like fucking. I don't know if it was electrical tape or something, but basically he had a wooden bat. So I stood behind the door and if he was gonna walk in, I was gonna crack that motherfucker right in his head. And thank God he didn't come in the house, but my dad was in the fucking Dining room, hiding like a little bitch, and was ready to let me take the downfall for something he did.
Shawn Ryan
Holy shit.
Joe Peifer
But it shows the type of coward he is.
Shawn Ryan
How old were you when that happened?
Joe Peifer
Oh, 15. Gee, 15. Just turned 15, so. And you know what's up about that situation is the girl had spent her sweet 16 money on me and brought us Thanksgiving dinner. And so it was a really. It's just a really dark time. It was a very. That was the first part where I remember feeling like I was always, like, sad and felt alone. I always felt like a voiceless kid where I didn't know how to express myself because I couldn't talk to anybody. I couldn't confide in my sisters because they didn't know any better. We're all taught the same thing, which is fucking telling each other. And the second you get in a fight, throw something that's hurtful in their face. And we would cut deep. So I wouldn't tell anybody anything. But that was the first time where I just really started feeling, like, depressed. And I'm like, what the fuck is wrong with me? I didn't know it was depression. I didn't know what it was. I had never learned what emotions were and didn't know how to process it. And it was just like, what the is going on in my life? And so that was that situation. Then my mother moves back and they try to figure things out, and he's.
Shawn Ryan
How do you feel about your mom coming back?
Joe Peifer
I missed her.
Shawn Ryan
You did?
Joe Peifer
Regardless of how I hated her or thought I hated her, I missed her. It felt. Yeah, it felt like a part of me died when she left and just felt very empty. I mean, we would blanket off when she was gone. We were so broke because he would only make like 800 bucks a month. We blanket off the living room and get a propane torch and a propane tank. And that's how we'd heat the living room and fucking eat instant oatmeal for about six months. We would boil water just to have hot water because we didn't have propane, couldn't afford to do it, didn't have oil to heat the house. So I would boil. It would take two hours to boil water just to have a warm bath. And by the time you did all that, the water's warm and it's like 39 degrees in your house, where you can't even sleep in your room. You have to sleep on the couch. So, yeah, and I'm still going to school and things like that. Came home the electric was off. It was just dark. It sucked. I had my first Thanksgiving without my mom. And that's where, like, music was such a big help in my life. And this guy seemed to be fucking thriving because he was getting pussy. So then my mom came back, and he was still cheating on her. And I remember my mom crying because they were supposed to be working things out. And she was crying and begging and asking me to tell her the truth. And I was like, hey, is that the gym training? And she knew that wasn't true, but I just remember her crying. And I just kept a straight face and kept playing video games and refused to, like, answer her question because I thought if I had said something, I was. Was putting me and him in a jeopardizing situation. And that's one thing that still bothers me because I know how hurtful that is, having gone through my own relationships and failures. And so, yeah, that sucked. So then we fucking move. He leaves her. We move. We move into an apartment. And after the divorce and everything with my mom and stuff, I testified that I never wanted to see her again, which would stick until I was about 18, because I thought she hated our guts and was going to take money from us, and we were broke and all this. But I was really just brainwashed, man. So it sucked. I didn't have any contact with her. And, you know, then this lady kind of tried to, like, force this role of, like, a mom. And he tried to say that. That, you know, your mom doesn't even give a about you. That's why she doesn't want to see you and all this. And she's the one that got you into school. He. He acted like. Because they put me in public school, what you're supposed to do that. This was like, my new mom, and I had to treat her that way. And I was like, out of here. I got a mom. So I never adopted her as my mom. Never liked the woman. Always thought she was on the spectrum, in my opinion, so. And, yeah, I hated her guts. And every time she had an autistic daughter and she would basically go in and touch my family photos that I had taken, and I would get really upset and be like, get the fuck off my shit. And he would come back and beat me the fuck up over that. So the fact that he beat me up over another woman's daughter who was touching my fucking belongings that weren't hers. Regardless of your special needs, stay the fuck off my shit. And, you know, one time she was like, yeah, I don't mean to like the daughter. She was like, I don't mean to, you know, talk about your family or nothing, but your mom sounds like, like a complete fucking bitch. I was like, bro, you can't even fucking feed yourself. Shut the fuck up. I remember like snapping out and he beat the out of me for that. Oh man, he couldn't wait to do it. I mean this dude rushed home to beat me up, whatever he was doing. He rushed home to stop my head, beat the fuck out of me for it, and then goes in there and next thing you know I hear him fucking his fucking girl. So he's a lucky man, bro. He's a lucky man and, and he's still out there till this day trying to fuck with me.
Shawn Ryan
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Joe Peifer
Yeah. And so, I mean, right before I turned 16, I literally was turning like 16 that week.
Shawn Ryan
When are you in eighth grade? Like 13, 14 years old?
Joe Peifer
Yeah.
Shawn Ryan
So it took you two years to figure it out?
Joe Peifer
Yeah, two and a half years. I realized at 15 he was a liar. And that's when it really broke my heart. I realized all the lies he was telling. And I was like, damn, my father's a fucking liar. And then that's when I started turning on him and I started having resentment for him. And then I was starting to challenge him by asking questions, which he hated.
Shawn Ryan
And what kind of questions would you ask him?
Joe Peifer
Like, why'd you tell this person this when you just did this? And he would be like, mind your fucking business. And, you know, I'd be like, well, you told me when we left, we were gonna do this and play game and play games, and you were gonna live the bachelor life, but we were gonna do everything together, like build this business with the outboard motors or we were gonna rebuild a truck together, and it wouldn't happen. And I was like, bro, you do nothing with me anymore. And just the stories he would tell people, like, the guy has his God complex. Like, he has something that everybody else wants at 15 years old. Like I said, he tried to cut me off from jiu jitsu. He goes, man, I'm done with the game. All these want what I got. What the do you got? What did you go do that everybody wants, bro? Like, I'm not even insulting. I'm just asking the question. So I remember telling them, why do you tell everybody that you were 115 and 4? But I've looked you up on the Internet and I can't find it. Who the are you to question me? I got beat up over that. Jumped up, punched me in my face. Simple things. Mind you, this happened almost all the time. Like, I would play basketball across the street. We used to live on. It's called Sandy Bank Road in Media, Penn. We lived at 1 Sandy Bank Road. Nobody lives there anymore. So I don't give a to say the address. But Walton Walden elementary was right across the street and had a little basketball court. So I would go play fucking basketball with the kids that I just became friends with as the new kid, which was already uncomfortable. You know, I went from a school of 340 fucking kids in the middle of nowhere to a school that had 1600 kids. And I'm the new guy again. So I would go fucking play basketball. I was supposed to be home at 8 o'. Clock. I walked in the door at 8:03. Second I'm the guy was malicious. So that means you would have had to watch out the window to watch me fucking walk home. And he would wait behind the door and second I walked in, fucking punch me in the face as hard as he could and dropped me. Just because I was three minutes late from across the street where you can visually fucking see me playing basketball with kids, not stealing, not doing drugs, not never did it, not lying about where I'm at. And yeah, so it was just the kind of guy that he fucking was, man. And. But I would, I would question him all the time. And so after the beatings I would go on like these hour long runs, like, like two hour runs, or I would just go walk for like six hours straight. In the documentary there's a good part where, you know, my coach is driving by because he used to live in Delco is the area, you know, it's like a couple towns in one. Like it's a couple towns and all, but they could just call the area Delco. And he, my coach, Sam Morpeza lived in that area. And I just got up, got beat up and I'm walking down the street and I have like Walgreens headphones and I'm like crying and I'm angry and I'm squeezing my hands because I want to kill him. So I just would go on walks for an hour and he would see me crying down the street walking and he was like, I just wanted to pull over and help you, but I wasn't in the position to, you know, you're still living at home with your father. But I would just walk for hours and then he would threaten to call the cops if I didn't come back. So it's like you beat the fuck out of me. And then I go to leave and just walk, clear my head. And then he would say, get the fuck back now. It was always, it was just a control thing, man. And one of the last beatings I got, I'LL give you the last beating that I got. It was a three part beating. So it starts over this game called. I think it was Uncharted 3 or Uncharted 4. And we were playing co op and I was getting all the kills. I've always been good at video games, whatever. Dude starts freaking the fuck out, bugging out over me getting more kills than him. You steal my fucking kills. You're always trying to outdo me and all this shit. You fucking scumbag piece of shit all. And I'm just sitting there and I'm like smiling at first. Then he takes the controller and that's why he fucking freaks out. He takes me smiling like, what the fuck do you want me to respond? Like I'm just going to keep doing my thing. Like I'm playing a fucking video game. We're on the same team, you dick. Like. So he takes the controller and fucking chucks it at me. Splits my fucking head. I still have a scar in the middle of my head from it. And so I have start blood coming down my face. And I looked at him like I wanted to kill him. And he was like, yeah, you want to fucking try me? So he jumps up, he's like, you want to fucking try me? Starts hyping himself up and then just starts letting off on me in the living room. So I just curl up and eventually have like a blood full mouth. I started laughing at him, I guess I. I was like, I don't give a. You can't break me, bitch. Like. So I started laughing. He's like, go pack your. So I started packing my bag, comes in the room, takes all my shit, throws it on the floor, starts fucking swinging on me again. He was like, yeah, there's all the shit I've done for you. Start swinging on me again. We fight in the fucking and I never swung back. And when I say fight, I'm just curling up. I'm just trying to defend as best as I can. And he's like, like grunting. Like you could tell he loved it. He would grunt every time he would hit me. Like, like every single time. Trying to put everything he had into it. But little couldn't knock me out. So there's that. And then I wind up walking out of the room, I put my bag on the couch and he corners me in the kitchen and he starts swinging on me again. And he's like, I'm gonna kill you, motherfucker. I'm gonna fucking kill you. Comes back, fucking like leaves for like five seconds, comes back, I Should have just ran out of the door, but, you know, a little fear locked up, I guess, at that point. Or a little hope that he was gonna like calm down before I left. And he pulls out a pocket knife and he starts walking towards me. He's gonna stab me with it. He's like, I'll kill you, I'm gonna gut you and all this. So I shoved him right over the table. It was like a little plastic table, table. Shoved them over the table, grabbed my bag, ran out of the house and never went back. Damn, man. Slept in the park for almost two weeks. Wind up meeting a kid that was getting racially bullied that I stood up for.
Shawn Ryan
Hold on, you slept in a park for two weeks?
Joe Peifer
Almost two weeks, yeah.
Shawn Ryan
How old?
Joe Peifer
15, nine days? Yeah, 15. I was turning 16 like the week after, so no birthday for me, but joined the wrestling team. Wasn't school had started.
Shawn Ryan
Did the school have any idea that you were sleeping?
Joe Peifer
Eventually? Eventually, no, because this was before school season. School started like I was in the park for maybe three days before school started. So then I was in the park for about a week after that. And then, you know, we had pre practice and things like that. So I would just use the locker rooms to go shower. But yeah, it was, it was unfortunate, but we had the pre practice for the summertime already for wrestling season. So we would do lifts and we'd do runs. So that's how it was, already being able to shower and go to school already. And I wound up meeting this kid who was getting racially bullied in the lifting room. They were calling him fat and all this. And listen, he was definitely. He definitely has a disability of some sort, a special something, even if it's on the spectrum, something like. It was very socially awkward child. And it was very evident. But yeah, I. I wound up asking him if he had anywhere or knew anyone of a place that I could live or room that I could rent. And he happened to have his brother that was in juvie for arson. He tried to light somebody's house on fire with a trash can in the garage. And he was away at juvie. They were two African kids up to adopted by a white Welsh man who was the middle school teacher at Springton Lake to Pencrest High School, which is where I went in the same town, which was media, Pennsylvania. And man, talk about living conditions. There was maggots, black mold, asbestos, what's. What was once like white carpets or cream colored carpets were the color of this couch from cat piss infested house. They never Cleaned anything. It was disgusting. It probably took a couple years off my health, to be honest. I lived off microwave food for the next two years of my rest of my high school life. And the father was a really bad alcoholic, wind up losing his job, was suffering with liver failure, started having eyesight problems and all these things. So when I had gotten my license, I was the one taking him to the doctor's appointments. I was the one buying groceries. I was the one trying to make the house clean. I bought like the, the glue tiles where you would buy glue and then put it on the floor and like, you know, I tried to make it nice and you know, I'd wind up doing the whole upstairs and things like that. His father funded it, my dad spends it now that I stole from him by doing that or so by saying that because the guy would give me his card to go buy his groceries that he wanted because he was physically unable. And I was the only one that was trusted as a driver and had a driver's license to go do it. My dad tells people that I stole from him and has now been friends with the kid that I used to live with and says that I was a racist to him, says that I stole from his father and the kid believes it. So. But that's what my dad does. He finds weak people to prey on and brainwash and unfortunately for them, they're not smart enough to look past the type of true person that he is. So we aren't friends and we haven't been friends. And you know, also my gripe with him was that he was friend with friends. See, the thing is, man, it's like I'm trying to be a little bit reserved because I don't want to put people's out there. But basically, I mean, I mean this kid's trying to text my family who he met one time, things that are very unfair. But the kid's best friend was a child molester. And my dad says I beat him up because I'm a racist. But I beat him up because he brought a child molester over to the house. And the kid was 19 and a 12 year old. So I told him clear as day, I don't give a if this is your house or not. I take care, I take care of the house, I take care of your dad that you don't give a about. If you bring that kid over here, I'm gonna you up. Brought the kid over here, kicked the kid the fuck out, threw him out and then fucked him up. And that was, that was the end of us. And then one time I told him that he didn't give a fuck about his father. And, you know, but mind you, mind you, the things that my dad is trying to stick on me are things as a teenager, I'm still not a man. I'm still an adolescent child. I'm still a teenager trying to figure out his way, you know, I gotta make decisions now as a man. And that's one thing I always owned up to. I fucked up. Up. I have fucked up. I've said some things that I probably shouldn't have said. I've done some things that I probably shouldn't have done. But I didn't hurt anybody in that process. I didn't take anything from everybody. I was never malicious. I never tried to ruin anybody's life. And.
Shawn Ryan
You are a product of my.
Joe Peifer
Environment to a certain extent. But is that an excuse after you leave home? No, I don't take that.
Shawn Ryan
I'm not trying to give you. I'm not trying to give you an excuse. Excuse. But I mean, you don't know any better. Yeah, that's how you were raised. For.
Joe Peifer
I had no guidance.
Shawn Ryan
Exactly.
Joe Peifer
I had no. I. I met my grandfather a few times. I met my grandmother a few times on my dad's side. I don't remember my mom's mom. I didn't. We weren't. I didn't have aunts, uncles, cousins, grandparents that we saw or watched us or ever came to visit us. I think my grandfather came and visit us maybe two or three times ever. But I don't blame the guy because my dad's a douchebag to work with. You know, I, Looking back, it was like, we used to be really upset about that. Like, he never comes and sees us, but that's how he would say it to be. Like, look, your grandfather's a fucking scumbag. But it's not. He's the scumbag. He's the one who's always fucking causing division. So, yeah, you know, this kid fucking brought him over and we wound up parting ways. And now my dad has latched onto him and tried to coach him in boxing to not get bullied by people like me and has convinced him that I did him wrong and I stole from his father and all these things. And it's just wild, man. It's really wild. He latched on to an ex girlfriend of mine that I had an abusive relationship with where she was physically abusive to me. And, you know, and I don't give a. To say it because I can Own it as a man. But, you know, this. This girl had cheated on me so many times, so I would put holes in the wall, you know, not knowing how to channel that rage or wanting to fight guys over it and things like that. But I was one of these guys who was like, oh, you're broken. I'm broken. Me and you against the world. But, you know, that's not. That's not healthy. And it didn't work out that way. So, yeah, man, my dad has been there. I'll tell you this. He's never been there to one single fight that I've left him tickets for, which was my first three or four amateur fights. And he took pleasure in it because one time I shouted him out thinking he was there, because he told me he was there. And he was never there and he never showed up. But in his documentary, he tells me my hands, people. A guy who doesn't even fucking know me is saying that my hands were the best they ever were when I was working with my father. And that's why I'm the fighter. I am. And all this. I'm like, brother, we stopped training together at 15. He said he was done with the game. All these guys want what he's got. He said, you ain't fucking training with these people people no more. Fuck this guy. Fuck that guy. And he calls my one coach, Sam Lorpisa, Sammy the Snake, because he was so threatened to have somebody else come and coach his kid because like he said, all he cared about was, they're going to come take what I built. That's how. Exactly how he would say it in front of me. They're going to. They're going to come try to fucking take what I built. I built you, motherfucker. You owe me my. You owe me your life. You ain't shit without me. You've never been shit without me. You would be a fucking bum. You'd be fucking sweeping floors. Look, but that was the normal talk. That's how I was talked to every day of my life. Every day of my life, including my sisters, that, you know, I think yoga pants started coming out when. Which I agree. I don't think little girls should be wearing yoga pants. That's my own opinion. I'm a traditional guy. But they would have little pocketbooks and that my mom would get them very inexpensive, you know, and they'd want to walk around or they started getting into makeup, girly things. And he would call them fucking whores and skanks. And a great example of how you treat One of my sisters with their own abuses. My second older sister was in her junior year of high school. I believe I may be wrong, but I think it was junior year, and she told somebody in school or her counselor that she wanted to kill herself because she felt like her father didn't love her. So the concerned Joe Pifer that my father, the fourth that my father is, goes to the school with, I think my mom. My mom. I asked my mom about it. She don't remember it. She remembers the situation, but she doesn't remember if she was there or not. But anyway, I'm pretty sure all those kids went to pick her up with my dad. And he was like, oh, man. I don't know why she would say that. Super concerned. Like, you know, looking at her like he's upset about it. Like, you know, I don't. I don't know why she'd be like that. So we go home. He gives her the keys to open the door. As she's opening the door and all of us kids are there, he grabs her by her hair, in the back of her jeans, and chucks her on her face, face first, on the floor second we get home. Then he picks her up by her neck and slams her in between the couch and starts strangling her. And in between the couch. And then we all start trying to pull him off, and he beats the out of me for it. And that's how you treated your daughter, who was suicidal? So there was an instance where one of my friends were over and my sister was, like, trying to convince him to cut her wrists, and he beat the out of the kid. But, you know, it was some dark dude. It was some weird. Just. Just weird. Just, you know, but the guy has never taken accountability for one single thing. I've watched this guy literally tell me to my face that my grandmother on my mom side had a miscarriage and buried the kid in the backyard. And he was crying to me one time after I'd already moved away for about a year after I ran away. And I'm trying to reconcile with them or have some type of relationship, because at the time, everybody that didn't know details is saying, you only have one father. You only have one father. And that used to guilt me because I had a good heart, man. And I was a Christian and always believed in trying to forgive. Trying to. To forgive, get past it. Trying to forgive.
Shawn Ryan
But you were a Christian or you are a Christian?
Joe Peifer
I am a Christian, yeah. And I. I lost my faith a little bit from the. Probably about 18 to, like, 23, maybe 24, see that I was pretty bitter because there was a lot of things that I prayed for that never came true the way I wanted. But, you know, looking back, I've lived a beautiful life of pain and success, and everything that has happened has happened for a reason. And it's all been, I think, God's timing.
Shawn Ryan
So I saw that you carry a picture of yourself at age 10 years old.
Joe Peifer
You saw I carry a picture?
Shawn Ryan
Yeah. Is that true?
Joe Peifer
I don't carry a picture of myself, no. What picture is this?
Shawn Ryan
I must have read it somewhere. That said that you. To remind you I have a. I.
Joe Peifer
Don'T carry it with me, but I do have a picture. I don't carry any. I don't carry a picture of myself, but I do have a picture that I hold on to. And it's. It's me at probably, you know, under 2 years old with boxing gloves and a headgear on. And I hold on to that because, like, I was really convinced I was going to be a fucking nobody. But I will say the thing that kept me going was I had this gut feeling that I was. I don't want to say better than other people, but I always believed I was above the competition. I always believed, like, I had this feeling like I'm meant to be more than the average. I just had this feeling. Just had this feeling. Just had this feeling. So I had all the other depression and all the other feelings, too, but this. I know I'm not. This isn't. This isn't it for me. And that's what kept me going, you know, from not hurting myself. And then high school was the hardest time for me because I was fucking angry at that point. And I really didn't have any filter anymore. And I didn't give a fuck how people viewed me, whether they thought I was crazy or angry or whatever. But I had been saying since I was in middle school, I was gonna fight. I wanted to hurt people. I wanted to fight. I wanted to fight. I wanted to fight. And that's exactly what I would say. I want to fuck people up. I want to hurt people, and I want to make them feel the same fucking pain that I felt. And it was the greatest motivation I could. Like, rage has its time and its place, and it got me through the early years until I became more mature and understood emotions and was able to control and just digest why I'm angry or what's. What are you holding on to that you haven't let go or what. What are you holding on to that. You haven't forgiven and. Yeah. So. Yeah.
Shawn Ryan
What was it that made you understand emotions?
Joe Peifer
My coaches. My coaches, you know, seeing the way that they lived, how they loved their wives, how they loved their kids, how they treated their friends, and, you know, Sam Orpiza and Will Harmon combined have been a savior for me. Will Harmon, if I didn't have that guy, regardless of everything that I went through, if that man didn't take me in, I wouldn't be here. I would have never made the ufc. He gave me four years of free housing and a home, a stable life, good food, and unconditional love and support, which I've never had.
Shawn Ryan
Was that your wrestling coach?
Joe Peifer
That was my wrestling coach.
Shawn Ryan
How did that relationship develop?
Joe Peifer
So I was wrestling. I joined the wrestling team, and we had red versus gold, which was, you know, for varsity matches. But I had already won my position. Another kid had already won his position. He was a weight class above me, I was a weight class below him. I was 170, he was 182. And they wanted to find out who the best kid in the school was. And I actually hated my head coach for it, Gregory Jacobs, who I love now. You know, dumb child in me, hated him. But they wanted to see who the best wrestler was on our team, and I wound up beating them. But I remember being so angry about it because I felt like they're trying. They just want to see me fucking lose. Because I've said I was an MMA kid. Like, all these people are against me. And I remember everybody's parents being there, and I was the only one on the other side of the gym by myself and the only other person. So we had. We had the wrestling mat, the gym floor, the basketball court, and then we had an upstairs indoor track, and Will Harmon was up on the indoor track on my side, only guy. And I got my headphones, and I'm pacing back and forth, and I'm like, mad, like, I'm gonna try to kill this kid, and blah, blah, blah. It was just my attitude for company competition. And, you know, I look up at him and I'm like, look at this. I was like, look at all these. And their parents. I say, I ain't got. He goes, who cares about that? He's like, just go out there and give it your best, man. He was like, I believe you. I believe you can do it. And those words, man, because I just remember his face. I just remember his face looking down, and he was like, I believe he can do it. And that's all I needed, bro, that was. That was like a fire to the most. Just. It lit a fire. That was crazy. And I went out there and I beat him. You know, it's not nothing to brag about. It was, you know, he was a good teammate and a friend till this day. But at that time, you know, everybody was talking that I was going to get beat. And he's the kid that's been the States or been to regions already. I've never wrestled because that was my first real year of wrestling and I beat him. And now, now I was, you know, known as the best wrestler in that high school on our team at that time, as far as like heavy, heavier weights and yeah, you know, it was good. That was the start of our relationship. And, you know, he was the first person to tell me he loved me in a long time. And I remember I would. I would be there at 6am train, go to school, be there. I was the first one there and the last one to go. And often, a lot of times I would just sit in the wrestling room and just fucking sob after practice at the end of the day because I hated my life and I wanted to be something and I didn't know how to do it, but I was just putting all my energy into wrestling and I fucking loved wrestling. I loved it. I loved working hard, I loved fucking suffering. And yeah, I remember just fucking sobbing many times after practice and Harmon happened to walk in and he comes over and just gives me a hug and didn't say anything other than, I love you, kid. And yeah, damn, that was the start of that. And every lunch period, I would sit and not sit with kids. I hated people my age. And I would sit every single day with that man and he would split one of the. One of his sandwiches that his wife made him and we would just sit there and play chess and talk about life. And yeah, that's how I spent my fucking lunch periods with him. So those are sentimental and I get choked up over those because, you know, I'm so appreciative of what he did that he didn't have to do. And he put his name on the line and his reputation on the line to support a kid like that. Me, that could have gone off the deep end and, you know, I never wanted to let him down. And, you know, obviously he's been one of the most important people. But, you know, to answer your question too, circling back about, did the school ever know. I don't know if it's called a truancy officer for if you Miss a bunch of school or if you have troubled home or something. But somebody did come to the house. And I don't know how I got away with it, but basically they were like saying I was going to have to come with them. And they came to the place where I was living because I was 17, and by that time they had come there, I was 17, and they were like, oh, yeah, you know, you're gonna have to come with us. Or saying something about, like, if I. If my parents lived here or was I emancipated or anything like that. Something. It was very vague. I'm vague on the details of what they were there for, but it was something about, you know, possibly taking me away. And I remember looking at the chick and I was a little arrogant prick, and I was like, do I look like I'm fucking unhealthy? Do I look like I need your fucking help? And I was like, trust me, if you take me away from here, you ruin my fucking life. And I slammed the door in her face, and I never heard shit. But then the psychologist started reaching out to schools, child services, things like that. And I remember snapping on Will Harmon because I was like, who the fuck did you tell? Like, I wound up almost turning on him because I thought he ratted me out and I was going to get put in a home and luckily I didn't. And I don't know how that's possible or how that happened, but I'm sure it helped that I was living with somebody who was a school teacher at the Springton Middle Lake School. But I don't know the details behind as to why. You know, regardless of how I felt, I'm sure they could have taken me, but they didn't. And I'm just grateful that they didn't, so. But yeah, they wanted to find it. Harmon knew. Harmon knew everything. He was the only person I would tell everything to. I would come to school with a fucked up face back when I was living with him. So, yeah, damn.
Shawn Ryan
Why do you think you hated everybody your age?
Joe Peifer
Because all they cared about was being cool. And I didn't give a fuck about being cool. I wanted to be somebody. And I didn't care about telling fucking high school stories about what girl you fucked or, you know, what, corny fucking sport. I also didn't like all the fucking football kids. I didn't like any of the track kids. Like, they all thought they were hot shit because they were wearing jerseys. And I don't know. I don't like kids.
Shawn Ryan
I don't like kids, you think it was because you felt resentment that you weren't living, like, the way that you were brought up.
Joe Peifer
I always wanted to play football, and I didn't get to, but I don't know if it was resentment. I just. I think I was much more mature than I thought I was by that time. And I saw, like, the real ugly part of life in one way. You know, obviously, you know, like I said, mine's very average compared to some of the stories out there. But, yeah, I just think I didn't connect with kids that did dumb talking about smoking weed and drinking and girls and going to parties. That wasn't me. I had no desire to drink, party, smoke. You know, I definitely did my fair share of whoring around, but that was to fill a void. And, you know, it was the only love or acceptance or validation that I got when I was frustrated and felt alone. So, yeah, I just didn't see the value in what they did. I wanted to be an athlete. I wanted to be in the ufc. And I was saying that since I was in middle school, so I didn't. I didn't relate to these kids when they would talk about these stories and then they would always try to tell you, like, you weren't allowed to say the R word. You can't say retard. And I'm like, bro, shut the up. Like, I'll say what the I want. And so I didn't like being around those nerdy kids. Then you had the guys that thought they were tough, and I was almost in a fistfight every day, but none of them would fist fight. Dude. When I went to this school where the school I came from, everybody would fist fight. Then I go to this school and it's like preppy kids and they all talk, but then you would run up in their face and it'd be like, kind of shocked that you're about to fight them. And I'm like, well, what the did you talk for if you weren't ready to fight? It was, like, mind boggling to me. And everybody thought it was crazy because I was actually wanting to fight people over, talking shit. So a lot of kids thought I was nuts. And what wasn't just was about it. And I had a couple funny instances, so never like a full blown out fight in high school. But yeah, I had some funny things.
Shawn Ryan
So how did you. How did you reconnect with your mom?
Joe Peifer
So it's very recent.
Shawn Ryan
It's recent.
Joe Peifer
It's. Yeah, it's very recent. It's been almost a Year I despised my mom for a little bit when I was a little less mature. But how can I really fall to a woman who was getting abused the same way as I was? And just for that reason, because she's a woman is why I give her forgiveness and an excuse because she was traditional, she was a Christian woman. Was a Christian woman. She doesn't really identify with Christianity anymore, but nonetheless she lives her life how she wants. But she was a 24 year old woman who had never been with another man and grew up in the church and met my father at the church because he was going to commit suicide apparently by jumping off the bridge. They wound up sending him to a church after they got him off the bridge and then that's how he met my mother. That's how they got connected. So she thought he was her forever after, you know, and she was willing to go through thick and thin and you know, and do anything possible to make it work. And obviously it failed. And she has never been with another man since. So he ruined the rest of her happy ending. So.
Shawn Ryan
How did you reconnect my sister?
Joe Peifer
It's a fucked up situation. My youngest sister was basically homeless because my, like I said, they're very backbiting towards each other and they've been much better since I've been in the picture because I won't tolerate it. Because the way I see it, just so you understand why I think they respect it, is because the perspective in which I've given it to them, if I can fucking come out and be a better person, so can you. And you have no fucking excuse because I kept enduring the abuse while you guys were free from it and I had to run away. You guys got the privilege of not having to deal with him again. And you guys have one life. And I tried to put it in the perspective of we have one life to know each other. I have one life to know you and everybody else that I meet. And if you're genuinely okay with treating each other like this when we're supposed to be the deepest love bonded people in our lives, then you're a true piece of shit. And that's exactly what I told him. If you guys don't learn to love each other, then you're all pieces of shit. So I think they've kind of been trying their best and it's been pretty good. But they've done some malicious things to each other. So I'm not proud of it and I don't support it and I don't condone it and I Want them to be better, because that's what I want to be around. I don't want to be around shitty people. Whether you call yourself my mother or my sister or my father, if you're a shitty person, I'm not going to be around you. I don't have time for that shit. My life's too short as it is. I can't believe I'm 28 already. I can't believe I'm here. You know, like, who would have thought fucking little Joey Piper is sitting on a Sean Ryan show, or has been on Joe Rogan or is about to break in the top 15 in the UFC. But because I believed and put it out there and put the work in, put the right people around me, all this has come true. Right? You know, so I reconnected with them because my sister Rachel. So I have two younger sisters. Sisters. The older of the two youngest is Rachel, and then there's Amy. And basically they were feuding, and Amy had basically told my sister's, I guess you can say baby daddy, some problems that she was having, and basically ratted on her. And it kind of like, was a really scumbag thing to do, knowing that she's going through a custody battle. So my sister refused to let her come back to the house after she had lost her job. So my sister was sleeping in the car in the park. I don't think it was that long. I think it was a day or two or a week or something like that, but, you know, nonetheless, it's your baby sister. And I hadn't talked to these people in six years almost after I punched my sister's boyfriend in the mouth. And this is two weeks before my last fight last year, International Fight Week. I'd knocked out a guy named Mark Andre Barriol. And I just had to. This guilty conscience because they had all reached out before trying to ask for help, but it was all monetary, and I was like, no, off. Like, if you can't have a relationship with me and give a. About me as a person, but I'm only good enough for you guys to need something, then go yourself. Get away from me. And that's how my attitude was. But, you know, I'm not a. It bothered me when I heard she was really struggling. And then that's when I was like, okay, now I need to step in because this is just ridiculous. Like, what is going on with this, these people? And my sister had kind of taken over in a sense, you know, I don't think she meant to, but she was kind of stuck in this fog where she thought she was running at the house. And I had to remind her, this is my mom's house since I was 4 years old. You don't run, and I don't give a what bill you pay. If you don't pay the rent and you're not on the lease, you don't run. And don't be a scumbag. You know, shoot, the shoe was on the other foot. You would always want somebody to give you a little bit of grace and give you that chance. It's not like somebody got killed. It's not like somebody got, you know, raped or fucking stolen or something, you know, crazy. This is a family fight. Get the fuck over it. And I tried to give him that perspective. And so I showed up, I went down there, I met her at the park, and then I drove there. My sister started running her mouth. And she was heated, obviously, because she felt like my younger sister had a role in her having a really bad case with her children, custody wise, which I understand, I don't think you should with somebody's kids. But yeah, I went up paying the rent for a few months for them so they could get on their feet and she could handle some of the lawyer bills and things like that. And then I also paid a couple thousand dollars to fix my mom's truck that they. That blew up on her. That's all they had. It was the only thing they had to drive hours to exchange their kids for my sister. So between, you know, my mom working full time, she's a truck driver, and my sister needing to drive six, seven hours every other week to exchange her daughter at that time, you know, that's the only car they have. So I did it for the kids, I did it for her, I did it for my mom. And so I gave back and I helped them and I told them, like, I'm not here to reconcile, but I'm here to hopefully inspire you guys to give a about each other again because it breaks my heart. And that's why I don't want to be around you. I want to see my sisters thriving in life. But this is the thing that I hate about my father, though. This did so much damage. Women take damage differently than men. 100%. They're just different creatures. And you, I'm sure you would agree, they all have been in domestic, violent, abusive relationships. Except for my second older sister. I think he's a pretty even keeled guy, but he's had his problems. I'm not gonna put them out there. But I'm pretty sure he's pretty good to her or at least works. I have my feelings about him is what it is. But, you know, they have four kids together. My oldest sister has two kids together. Apparently, you know, he hits her and has threatened to kill her and things like that. And my sister hit me up to help her get the kids out of the house. And I said no, because it's been six years, and I can't afford to jeopardize everything that I've built for someone I don't even think gives a fuck about me unless they need something. And it's always been funny to me, you know, they cut me. They've done this thing where they've cut me out or I've cut them off. It's really them that cuts me off. And then when shit really gets. When shit really gets tough and there's some deep shit going down, then the brother's good enough. I'm the only one that understands. That's what they've all hit me with the same punchline. And it took me a while to forgive them, you know, But I forgive them. I love them all. I forgive them all. I love them all. I've said some that's mean, too, to them, you know, so hopefully they forgive me. And. But, you know, I was like, why would I go and get involved in helping you take kids from a man that I have no idea? All I know is what I'm being told. I don't know the other side of that, and I don't believe in. With another man's family. So maybe if you were active in my life and I knew things that were going on, but she had said he had threatened to shoot me. So I don't know what's true or what's not, you know, it's. I wouldn't doubt if he would threaten to shoot me. He can't beat me, you know, so. But I don't want to put myself in that situation. I haven't talked to you in years. I don't know what's going on. And now you ask me to put myself in that situation. But I don't remember where I was going with that, to be honest. CTE kicked in.
Shawn Ryan
Reconnecting with your mom.
Joe Peifer
Reconnected with my mom. So, yeah, I went and paid their rent and everything. And then, you know, naturally, I talked to my mom, and she thanked me. She reached to out. Reached out to me and thanked me. And, yeah, we just kind of started slow from there, man. And it's been really good. You know, this is probably a year ago. Yeah, almost a year. Almost hasn't been a year yet, but it's almost a year. And this has probably been the longest connection that I've had with them since I was a child, since about 15, so. But it's been the most rewarding, too.
Shawn Ryan
Is it hard?
Joe Peifer
Is it hard? I think what's hard. I think I. No, it's not hard right now. It's not hard right now. I think what. What does get to me, though, is that my mom's older and I lost a lot of time with her, so that kind of gets to me a little bit. So I think she has a beautiful heart. I think she's got a beautiful soul, and she's a respectable woman is how she likes to call herself. And I agree with that. And I used to hate her guts at one point, and it irks my soul that I ever did, and it's because of that motherfucker, so. But luckily, I'm a grown man now, and I can. I can, you know, defer from right and wrong, good and bad, and. But, yeah, he damaged all them, I think, for life. So that's the only thing that I really think that is hard is just that I lost a lot of time with her. But this is what it is. You know, I have. I am now in the present moment, and that's where I think the maturity has really helped my career. Right. Is being in the present moment and now, living in the now versus looking in the past, Looking in the past, looking in the past, that eats you up.
Shawn Ryan
Do you guys have any tough conversations?
Joe Peifer
All the time? Yeah, all the time. We agree. We agree to disagree all the time, but that's okay. I think we developed a relationship now where it's.
Shawn Ryan
You can have those without.
Joe Peifer
We can have those tough talks and know that we aren't going to disappear from each other. You know, I. I'm not. I'm also not talking to her every single day because she understands that I have a busy life. I also have people that I love and care about that I'm taking care of or, you know, trying to provide for and things like that. So. Yeah. But, yeah, it's good. It's good now.
Shawn Ryan
Damn job. That's tough, man.
Joe Peifer
Yeah. Yeah.
Shawn Ryan
This.
Joe Peifer
This guy is interesting. Interesting. I think he should be studied. I really do think he should be studied. I mean, he hides in the church now, claims that he's a Christian, does nothing Christian. You know, a great example is I did a little podcast for a little bit with me and my coach, Sam, or Pisa. And his best friend was Steve Haig, who owned the Fight Factory, which was like, the pinnacle of MMA in Philadelphia. We had all the killers. We had my coach Sam. We had this guy Zach Mikoski, Eddie Alvarez, a lot of really good killers that came out of there. And the guy got cancer, and he had it right behind his nose, like, basically in the middle of his head. And because the guy came on my podcast, mind you, this was my dad's best friend for, like, 10 years. And then, you know, he basically disrespected his wife and my mom and him separated one time, he was sleeping over there and disrespected his wife and he, you know, Steve kicked him out. And that's how they stopped being friends. My dad called him a traitor and all this and started talking shit on his wife and all that crap. Claims to be a Christian. And this. This is really funny because if you watch the documentary, tries to play, talks real soft, talks like. He's just like, yeah, yeah, you know, if I didn't use God as my compass, I wouldn't be here today. And it's the fakest shit I've ever fucking heard. Especially if you know the real dude that he is and you watched the documentary. Yeah, yeah. I want to know the lies he says because everybody's tagging me. You know, he's. He hasn't talked to. Let me put it this way. So he has five kids. This is the most crazy. This is the craziest shit. He has five fucking kids. Me and four daughters. Three of those daughters have never reached out to this motherfucker since he left. Why? Is it because you were such a great guy? Is it because you didn't abuse them like you say? Is it because they were brainwashed by their mom? Is that your best excuse? Is that for over 12 years? I know for sure. Plus it might even be 14 years. I don't remember what it is. I think it's 12 years plus none of them give a fuck to talk to their father. Why? What could you have done that they don't give a fuck about you that much or they hate you that much? Dude can't answer that question. But nobody's asking him that question. You go watch the documentary. All it is is a fucking victim card. My mom this and my dad this. He hated his fucking dad, wants to kill his dad, hated his fucking mom, apparently. And then now he's, like, all fucking sad that his mom passed away. And it's like, dude, like, you tell so many fucking lies, you can't even keep track. And. But that's my biggest question to him. How come none of your daughters give a fuck to talk to you? Why? And how come six people can say you did the same shit that I said? Can you explain that? And he just doesn't address it, but he's gonna make a documentary saying, I sold a story. I used to beat up the kid I used to live with. I stole from his dad, and I'm a piece of shit. I had an abusive relationship as a kid and all. It's like, bro, you're talking about a teenager. His claim to fame is that I was a terrible fucking kid. Even though I had. I didn't steal, I didn't smoke, I didn't fucking hide things. Like, his biggest thing is, like, that I lied about my sister turning on the heater, and she got her ass beat. So I was a piece of shit at six years old. Yeah. He said it showed the character that I was. I was a scumbag willing to throw somebody else under the bus at 6 years old. And I'm like, yeah, you're right. Was a scumbag fucking thing. But I've learned from it, unlike you. So, yeah, it's just wild. You know, he's trying to make another documentary now, and people are trying to get me to go on shows and things like that, to go talk to this guy and confront him face to face, but I don't want to give him that platform.
Shawn Ryan
Yeah.
Joe Peifer
I don't want to give him that relevancy, and that's all he cares about. This man has never been there for any of my success, but he has been there more than anybody for every failure, not realizing it's a lesson that I just keep growing from. But he's been there for every single failure. When I broke my elbow, he sent a picture face down, ass up. Told you this would happen as soon as you fight anybody, really, you get your ass beat, you're a fucking buff, you'll never make it in the ufc. I bet he fucking is rolling over in his bed now. Like, even recently, you know, I heard something, you know, like, he fucking tells people. First of all, brother, he's never coached me for one of my fights, ever. He's never been to one of my fights. But he tells everybody he was. I was the best boxer because we trained for two weeks for my fourth amateur fight, and then our last stint was he shows up in my house. It is what it is. I just slept with a chick, right? So we Had a. An agreeance that we would train at 7:30, I think it was every morning. And I had a garage at a place I was living before I wound up being homeless again and had to go live with Armin. So he would show up and he shows up at fucking 7 o' clock and I'm not up yet. I just done whatever with some chick and I fucking wake up to my phone fucking going off, going off, going off. And I'm like, dude, what the fuck? Like, so I answer the phone, but I can hear like a. Like he's in my fucking house. Just walked in the house, like no invite or nothing, like it's not his house. And he's like, get the fuck downstairs now. I'm like, who the fuck are you? So I freaked the fuck out. I'm like, who the fuck are you talking to? I'm like 19 at this point, or just about to turn 19. And he's standing at the bottom of the stairs like, he's like, got a fucking whoop my ass with his arms across at the bottom of the stairs in the house and said he wasn't invited in. I fucking fly down the stairs, I'm like, who the fuck are you talking to? I called him all this shit and he threatens to come back and put a bullet in my head and all this shit. And I was like, yeah. I was like, touch me, motherfucker. And I was like, I'll kill you, I swear to God. I was like, I'll beat you so fucking bad like you'll die on a fucking feeding tube for all the times you hit my mom, for all the times you hit my sister. And it was the first time I ever saw like the bitch in him. Because he realized that I wasn't Ching, Quiver and Joe no more. I wasn't little Joey Pifer that he could intimidate, that he could bully, that he could fucking make his bitch. And I think that's why he threatened me with the gun. Because he realized he couldn't with me no more. And I was ready to hit him at any point, but the only thing I wouldn't do is I would never hit him first. And that was just because of my Christianity and because of my moral high ground that I tried to stick to. And yeah, he drove away like a little bitch and didn't do anything. Another instance he threatened to shoot me was I was at my insurance agent guy's place who I've been friends with since I was 17. And I just always go up there to say hi every now and then and talk. And I'd already obviously been away. I'm like, fucking 20 years old at this point, living with Harman. And she sees my black Mustang. She worked down the street, his wife. And she pulls in and asks. Comes in and says, oh, I need one of my ID cards for my cars. She didn't need a fucking ID car. She saw. She saw my car and wanted to come in and fucking talk shit. So she comes in. Mind you, I haven't seen her in maybe it was only like three, four months. And by that time, like, she used to be sympathetic and be like, oh, yeah, I don't know why he's so angry. I don't get it. He just gets. Snaps out and all this shit. She, like, spoke super fast and fucking weird. And she comes in. She was like, what's up, you fucking piece of shit? Like, right in front of the guy and starts, like, coming at me heavy. And I just start smiling. And I'm sitting here real calm, and I'm like, oh, what's the matter? I said, did he finally brainwash you? And she was like, yeah, you're a piece of. And you're a scumbag kid and all this, like, just going off. And I'm like. And she was like, yeah, because you're a mom this and that. I said, you know, it's crazy you speak about it. But I was like, you weren't there for it. I said, all you are is just vomiting all he's told you. I was like, you never witnessed any of it. Like, it's just wild. So we wound up going out in the front. What do you know who pulls up? Disabled Joe fucking pulls up. And the only thing he's mad about is, where the fuck were you when I called you? You're supposed to be at work, bitch. Go the fuck back to work. Why aren't you where you're supposed to be? This guy don't work. So he grabs her by her fucking arm and shoos her to her car. Like, fucking throws her to her car and tells her to go back to work. And I started laughing. And we're out front because my friend was like, yo, if you guys are gonna argue, can you argue out front? Whatever. And he didn't want it inside the business. And I was like, yeah, of course. I was like, I'm not even arguing. She's just fucking yelling at me. So he grabs her by her arm, shoes the dirt, tells her to go back to work. And then he goes. I started walking behind him, and I'm like laughing. Cause I wanted a reason to fight him. And I was like, what you so angry about, huh? I was like, what you all upset about? I was like, what's the matter? And he, like, you know, I was antagonizing him. And he turns around and he's like, come back and fucking kill you, motherfucker. I'll shoot you right in your fucking face. Right in front of my guy, right in front of the insurance dude. He gets in his car and he speeds off. I was like, all right. I was like, but you still haven't done. And he's like, yeah, you keep calling that I'll. He's like, I ever see you again, I'm gonna kill you. And whatever. So I wound up telling his wife, I said, wait till he turns on you. Watch and see. Wait till his. Wait till his demeanor changes and he puts his hands on you. I said, I guarantee you'll be the next victim. I said, because I'm not around to get punched on.
Shawn Ryan
Not.
Joe Peifer
I was like, he's got to have somebody. A guy like that's got to have something to abuse. He's always had it. He's never not hit somebody. He's never not abused somebody. So I have no idea why they got divorced, but I would love to know.
Shawn Ryan
Damn, man.
Joe Peifer
I know how he talked to her. I heard how he talked to her. I just can't imagine, with nobody else there to stop him, what else has happened? So.
Shawn Ryan
Yeah, well, I know there's some chatter about Dr. Phil.
Joe Peifer
Yeah, there's some chatter about Dr. Phil and going on there, but, you know.
Shawn Ryan
How did they get to him?
Joe Peifer
So there's a guy that goes to this gym that he trains at, and his son trains there, and he met this guy whose gym.
Shawn Ryan
Your gym or your.
Joe Peifer
No, not my gym. If he came to my gym, we would all beat him to death. He's. He knows better than to do that. He's not that dumb. My coach. My. My coach. My boys are loyal. At Marquez, mma and Philly, they're. They're. They're loyal. And he'd be damned if he ever even comes close to that city and steps near there. They see him, they'll kill him. But no, this is a gym that's. I'm not gonna mention it because it doesn't deserve fucking clout. But there is a gym, and he goes and trains there. And this guy's son trains there. And this guy was on Dr. Phil. His name is Butch. He was on there because of his father murdering his mother when he was a child. So that was his storyline on there. Super cool guy. Like him a lot, but he was gathering, content to do the story. A story on my dad becoming Joe Pifer, the person he is. And I'm not. I don't want to put everything out there because I don't know what he's comfortable with or not. But basically, the executive producer has reached out to me and has been trying to convince me that it's a good idea to go on. On there if, you know, if there's some reconciliation. I said, look, at the very least, I forgive the guy. I hate the things that he's done, but I forgive the guy. I don't really.
Shawn Ryan
Do you really forgive him?
Joe Peifer
100. Because I wake up and I don't think about him.
Shawn Ryan
Good.
Joe Peifer
He has no control over my life, you know, like, he could sit across from me like this, and I have. There's no intimidation. There's no. There's no threat. The only threat is if he had a gun. And that's it, you know, But I carry too, so. And hopefully it never, ever happens. You know, I don't think it's funny to gamble about life, but, I mean.
Shawn Ryan
There'S gotta be a sense of being extremely uneasy after I've been through that.
Joe Peifer
No, no. I think that would mean that I haven't forgiven him. Still, there's nothing uneasy about it. What could he say? I stand on the truth. I stand on the truth. I'm on a mountain of truth. I have sources to back up my truth. I have witnesses to back up my truth. I have friends to back up my truth. I have teammates that have seen what he's done or how he's talked or how he's acted. He has nobody. He literally is going to die alone. It's fucked up. It's sad. And I really want him to change. And the only reason I was even contemplating it is because my mom wanted me to do it. She wants him to leave me alone. But he just fucking attaches everything. I can't see any of his social media. Pretty sure he has me blocked or whatever. But I know he's always. People are always telling me he's talking shit on me. He's writing essays, he'll post pictures. So, like, one of the things that he does is he'll show pictures in the documentary of me and him smiling. So what he does is he takes a child's unconditional love for his parent of constant forgiveness and shows only the good memories and says, does that look like a kid? That's abused. Does that look like a kid that's abused? Oh, look, he's smiling there. Oh, look, he's smiling here. Well, no shit. Do you ever beat the fuck out of your kid and then tell him to fucking smile for the camera? I don't think anybody does that. So it's his. His logic is very shallow and really dumb, so it doesn't threaten me whatsoever. You know, I think he's just a sick dude. I think the, the narcotics for 20 plus years has really warped his fucking brain. I don't really know if he has sympathy or remorse. I think that part of his brain's probably damaged. So he might be on the borderline. A psychopath or is a psychopath. He's for sure a narcissist. He's always talked about himself like the God complex. Like, he's always had something everybody wants and he's destroyed every single. This is how I have to look at it before I'm in the ufc. I've had lifelong friendships, and I still have those same lifelong friendships today. This man has no friends. No, like, bro, you went from a family of five and a wife that loved you and cared and kids that loved you unconditionally, to damaging them all to where they hate your guts. Like, I just don't want to carry around hate for the guy. I just recognize who he is. I used to, bro, I used to fight out of anger all the time. When I was fighting early in my career, I would just blitz motherfuckers and just fucking try to kill him. Like, I was literally like. And I still have that side of me, but I know how to control it a lot better where it doesn't involve him. You know, I just want to kill a motherfucker because you're trying to take my money from me. But before, it was like, I really wanted to, like, hurt people. And even in my every day to day life, like road rage, things like that, wanting to fight people and, you know, I've definitely saved myself from a couple big damaging blows where I could have been in prison. And I'm glad I have, you know, but that's because of the strong men that taught me how to be men. He always claims that the only reason I am what I am is because. Because of him. And I think it's such an insult because people like Will Harmon, who put their neck on the line, who put their, you know, opened their door to me, opened their home, Sam or Pisa, the guy was working two jobs, sleeping on floor in between his jobs to provide for his family and people like Chandler, Henry, you know, who were able to in the documentary. You know, I can express myself now verbally. But he has a way with, you know, filming where he is able to express what I couldn't put into words. And I think that's his talent. And I think that's why this is doing, going to do so well and, and help a lot of kids. So, you know, but because of those men in my life, that's why I'm where I'm at. Because I was smart, I asked questions. I never was somebody that didn't ask questions. I always challenged everything. Ask questions, ask questions. I don't give a if you laugh, if you get a stupid question. If I don't know it, I will say I don't know it. Once I learn it, I'm not going to forget it. So, yeah, dude's fucking there, just waiting for me to fail at every moment. Brother.
Shawn Ryan
Do you want to reconcile with him?
Joe Peifer
No, no, there's nothing to reconcile. I know what he is. I know what he's done. I want him to take accountability. So that's reconciliation for me. Take some fucking accountability and don't die a piece of shit. You owe that to my mother. You owe that to my sisters because you fucked up their future too. And they're still going through it. Luckily I'm not, but they're still going through it. And how do you think you.
Shawn Ryan
I mean, I think. I think downstairs for the interview you said you've been. You have a significant other. Yeah, been with her for three years.
Joe Peifer
Almost six.
Shawn Ryan
Almost six years. Sounds like your sisters don't have healthy relationships. I don't know about your mom now, does she have any healthy relationships?
Joe Peifer
She's got a couple healthy friendships but no significant other.
Shawn Ryan
How have you learned how to treat a significant other? A significant other respectfully and with honor.
Joe Peifer
People like Will Harmon, seeing how he loves his wife now, he has kids that he loves. He's got three now. And he has one special needs daughter with Prader Willi syndrome and loves her unconditionally and provides for her better than anybody else could. And the irony of it is that he was a special needs teacher when I was in high school for over eight years. And then his first daughter is special needs.
Shawn Ryan
Wow.
Joe Peifer
So who better equipped to take care of it? You know, nobody ever wishes for that, but who better could handle that than him? So it's kind of crazy, but yeah, you know, just understanding right and wrong is super simple. Super simple. Hitting your wife is wrong. You know It's. It's really easy not to. Do you love the person. You would never want to do that. But, you know, it is a struggle, because I disconnect very often. You know, we've had our struggles in our relationship and separations and things like that. But one thing I will say, because, like I said, I don't really put my personal life out there or the status of whether I'm single or dating or anything like that, just because I don't want people involved in my shit. But that specific person, no matter how it makes anybody feel, was there for me when I was a loser. She was there when my arm broke. She was there after my arm broke. She was there when I got in the ufc. She's probably one of the most special people in my life. You know, she always believed I could do it.
Shawn Ryan
Probably one of the most special people in your life.
Joe Peifer
Yeah. Aside from Harmon. Aside from Harmon. He gets first place. You know, he's. I think, because he saved my life. But, yeah, it's him and her. We'll call him a tie.
Shawn Ryan
Right on.
Joe Peifer
You know, and, yeah, I used to look at her when my elbow was broke because they told me I would never fight again. And I used to be like, I'm gonna make it. And she'd well up, and I'd well up. And I was like, I'm gonna make it. I'm gonna change our lives. I'm gonna change our lives. I'm gonna change our lives. And, man, damn, if I didn't fucking get it back and do it. So. And I'm still going, you've done it. I'm still going. So it was a hard fucking road. You know, we've been talking about all my family shit, but the fighting road was a hard. Whole nother fight that had nothing to do with that guy, nothing to do with my past, and that was a struggle in itself. You know, aside from my upbringing, I had one of the hardest roads to get in the UFC as well.
Shawn Ryan
Well, we're going to get into that here next, but before we leave this segment, just want to ask, what advice do you have for kids that are going through this kind of stuff right now?
Joe Peifer
Speak up. Speak up. Talk to somebody. If you don't know who to talk to, find somebody, get an opinion, you know, gather information is the best thing you can do. Like, since I've been out here dealing with everybody from, you know, the Daily Wire, which is what the documentary is going to be on July 25th and whatnot, I've gotten all their opinions on the whole Dr. Phil thing too, you know, because I like Dr. Phil. I think it's, you know, it's cool, whatever, but it's got to make sense. And it doesn't really make sense to give this guy what he's always wanted, which is to be relevant, you know. Yeah, he's nobody without me. That's how I see it. And. But yeah, speak up. Put your fucking pent up energy into a sport. If you're a sports guy or girl or whatever, you know, if you're, if you're a books person, fucking study more than anybody else. Educate yourself more than anybody else. Whatever you put that time into, it will pay you back. It will. Hard work doesn't go unnoticed when, when you have to put it to the test, you know, sometimes it goes unnoticed because nobody sees you doing it. But when you start to perform and you've done all the hard work there, there's no denying success from that. So put that, put that anger and energy into a sport is the only thing I can relate to. And no matter how crazy an idea, within reason. I'm not talking about these fruitcakes in the world today. But as long as you, you know, you have that self belief that you can go on and be something fucking big, why can't you? Why can't you?
Shawn Ryan
Good advice, man.
Joe Peifer
Why can't you? I'm a fucking nobody. All generations of my family have been fucking bums. I don't even say that my grandfather's been a bum. That's not fair to say. But when I say my father's a straight fucking loser, dude hasn't taken a fucking ounce of risk for his family or tried to better his life as a person or as a man. As a man at all. It's a shame. I'm 28 years old and I know more than that dude does. He's fucking 54, 53. You know, take the risk. Take the risk. Be willing to fail because failure is only a fucking. Hey, I took a shot and I missed. But you might learn how to do better next time. So take 100% of those fucking shots, no matter how crazy they are, is my advice.
Shawn Ryan
Love that.
Joe Peifer
Go for it.
Shawn Ryan
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Joe Peifer
So I don't think you'll ever stop them from coming into your head. Especially if you've had trauma or anything abusive in your childhood that, you know that is stuck with you for years. It's always going to be there. You know, I think it's natural for humans to doubt themselves. It's our protective mechanisms. When you go to do something scary, your brain tries to stop you from doing it because it knows the risk, the damage, the hurt. But I think it's being in the present moment. I think that is the master key to everything. And Shawn Brady, my teammate, who's also Gary on his title run, he's a top two guy. He's number two at welterweight. You know, he had a lot of performance anxiety in his career and he turned it around. And, you know, I used to pick his brain, too. This is where it comes back to what I said about asking questions, because I still had the doubts. If I lacked anything I lacked. I'm a very confident guy. There's not a guy you could put in a room that I don't think I could knock out. I think I have that chance against anybody. Big, small, doesn't matter.
Shawn Ryan
I think you've proven that.
Joe Peifer
Yeah, except Calvin, that guy's tough, but I still draft him. But yeah, so I asked him, like, man, what do you think you did to change? He was like, just being where my feet are being in my present moment. You know, you went and got help and sports therapy and all those things, but I'm not really big on, like, therapists. I'd like to just kind of figure it out or ask questions of people that I trust and things like that versus somebody I don't really trust or. And pay money to. Just. I don't connect with people like that. But, you know, he was like, being where My present. Being in the present moment, like, and just appreciating where you are, you know, no matter what was done to me, it's what's shaped me to be the human that I am. I think a part of anxiety comes from, obviously, doubt and the things that can go wrong. But if all I worry about is my effort and controlling that effort and my confidence and my preparation and my confidence and my education on things that I want to learn about and things like that, like, I can't fail. I can't fail. Like, I'm not defined by a win or loss in the ufc. Even if I got cut from the ufc, it's not my identity anymore. It's me going out there and taking the risk and giving it all that I have that I can judge, and that's who I am. I go out there and I put it on the line every time, and I try to look for the finish every time, or I try to apply myself to be a better person in my everyday life, because that's the person you have to go to sleep with. That's the person you have to wake up to. That's the person you get your work ethic from. So I would just say is being in the present moment and realizing that your past doesn't define you, fighting doesn't define you. And how you treat the people you love is true success. The friendships that you have is true success. It's not monetary. It's not. Not. It's not money. It's not cars. I love cars, but it's not cars. It's not the fucking Big house. It's not the jewelry. It's not the watches. It's not the chains. It's not the fame. It's how you treat the people that you love most in your life. That's how you're going to be based. That's how you're going to fucking keep a sound mind. And, yeah, so, no, I don't think anything in the past has affected me anymore. It used to. I used to be like, oh, if I lose, this motherfucker's going to laugh at me, where everybody's gonna think I suck and all this shit. And now I've had my struggles. When I lost my first UFC fight, I walked into the fight, I wasn't 100%. Whatever I lost, I wasn't the better man that night, and everybody turned on me. It was the first time I got famous pretty quick in the fight world. I got a lot of hype behind me and that I lost. And then Everybody was like, you fucking suck. You're a fraud. You're a bum. You lost my fucking bet and all this shit. Kill yourself. You're this or you're that. So it still continues. Now, it's not my father saying it, but it's. It's people. But these people are unhappy in their life. Imagine taking time to go and talk a professional athlete you've never met.
Shawn Ryan
Oh, that's why I could relate to you all day on this.
Joe Peifer
Of course. Of course you could do. You could touch a hundred thousand lives and save a hundred thousand people. But if you piss one person off and they don't like it, oh, you're a piece of to them. Yeah, who cares? So live your life by the standards of the people that. By the standards of the people that you keep in your circle, is what I would say. And I think that's helped me, you know, not let the negative thoughts get in my way. And if they come in my. My brain. I've been reading this book called Inner Excellence. I think for athletes, it's a must read. Sam Morpeza is always influencing me to read books. I hate reading books. But not a big book reader. A little too retarded for it, but I still do it. And, you know, yeah, it's been a great. It's the ego. It's the ego. A lot of our fears are ego driven. So it's been the most humbling, annoying thing to try and digest. Because your ego gets in the way of everything. It influences everything, like why you're insecure about something. Well, because you're afraid to lose in front of thousands of people or millions of people on the tv. And it's like, bro, you got to let go all that. You can't control all that. The only thing I can control is my performance. Did you work hard for this moment? Yes. I fucking turned over every stone I could. All right, then go out there and give it your best effort. Might be a win, on the other side, might be a loss, but whatever it is, you're fucking ready for it, man.
Shawn Ryan
It is astounding that you figured this out by age 28 years old, because.
Joe Peifer
I got real fucking men in my life now. Imagine if my father fucking had been a real man. Yeah, maybe I would have fucking got it. Maybe I wouldn't have. But. But I think this is my story to tell. This is my platform to tell it. And thanks to guys like you, I get to do it.
Shawn Ryan
Let's talk about. So let's start moving into Will. I know he was what was his last name?
Joe Peifer
Harmon. Will Harmon.
Shawn Ryan
Will Harmon. You had mentioned earlier that he had put his job on the line for you. How did he do that?
Joe Peifer
I mean, he was picking me up, you know, not that that's against the rules, but he was trying to take me in his house before I had gone homeless, but he couldn't do it because the student teacher thing can't do it, or he would have. But, you know, he didn't consult with anybody even after, you know, I graduated and opened up his home. And I think he put his job on the line just by simply fucking protecting my story and the things that I was going through and keeping that close to heart. And I'm sure he had conversations about it in some way, but I know he got a lot of people off my back. You know, he stopped me from getting suspended from school a bunch of of times for slamming kids into shit. Or one kid was saying some homophobic slurs and I said some shit back and threatened him and didn't get suspended. So he was always putting his neck out there for me. I broke doors in high school and fucking did a lot of stupid shit out of anger. And he always was just there cleaning up my trail, so I didn't get in trouble. So, you know, necessarily not anything to get fired over at all, but. But, you know, just. Even those small things went a long way. Like, I lost my senior night and I fucking broke one of the Bilco doors. Like, big ass door, fucking kicked it right off the hinges and broke it. He came in the next morning before anybody knew and fucking fixed it. Wow. And I slammed a kid into, you know, the glass and busted his face. And he went, and I should have got suspended. And he stood behind me saying, yeah, it's like, you know, I know what was being said and this is what's going on in his life. And, you know, it really went to bat for me and I couldn't really afford. Like, if I had gotten. I probably would just dropped out of school. So he kept me going to school. I didn't have good grades and all I wanted to come to school with was to see him, play chess with him, eat lunch with him and wrestle. So my man was there.
Shawn Ryan
I mean, what was it like for you? So you didn't move in with him until 18?
Joe Peifer
I was 19.
Shawn Ryan
19.
Joe Peifer
I was 19. Yeah, I lived. So I moved in with a friend at the time who was not a real friend, and he moved in with his girlfriend and I moved in with my first girlfriend at the time, and we Were both in very, very toxic relationships. And, yeah, I don't even give a fuck to say it because it is what it is, but when I was working 60 hours a week, the dude was fucking around with my girl while he was engaged to his girl. And I didn't find out until six months after I had already broke up with her. And then. And we couldn't afford to stay where we were staying. And I got my car repossessed, my phone got shut off, my insurance got shut off, and Harmon took me in. And the worst part about it is my teammate, one of my teammates, had a former team that I was at, fucked the girl of my friend. So it was like a big fuck fest between everybody but me. And, yeah, that is what eventually led them to break up, which means we couldn't afford to stay where we were. And then I found out that. And then I was like, man, I'm gonna kill this motherfucker, too. And, you know, I told Harmon about it, and he was like, you gotta come with. You gotta come live with me. He's like, I just bought this house. He just bought the house. It was perfect timing. And he was like, I got extra room for you. And my car got taken away. It was one of the most humiliating feelings. And, you know, he taught me a very good lesson. It was like, probably the first lesson he gave me under his roof as to what it is to be a man of your word. And he gave me the money to get my car out of repossession and pay it off. And he said, I'm giving you this money not because I expect you to pay it back, but if you tell me you're going to pay it back, that's your word. If you don't, I'll still be friends with you and I'll still love you and support you, but I might look at you differently. And that was right before my pro debut. I moved in with him. I paid him back over two fights, but I moved in with him right after my fourth amateur fight. So then I had one more amateur fight and I went pro. And I paid him back by that fight, cash. And it was one of the best feelings in the world. And, yeah, I finally had a stable home. I finally had good food, I finally had heat. Finally had my own bathroom. Yeah, it was special.
Shawn Ryan
What was that like for you? Going. I mean, you went 19 years in the same environment, same type of environments, different abuses, different experiences, but none of them a loving, traditional family dynamic. And so then you get inserted into Will's home With his kids, with his wife, with him.
Joe Peifer
I mean, it was just me, him and his wife.
Shawn Ryan
Something that you'd never. It was just you and him?
Joe Peifer
Yeah, just me, him and his wife. Before they had kids.
Shawn Ryan
This was before they have kids. So what was it like for you to experience real love in a real home?
Joe Peifer
I developed this mentality that things were too good to be true. So every time I thought something good was happening, it was going to happen. I knew I expected it not to happen. Like, even something as simple as, like, going to a fucking water park as a kid. Like, nah, it's too good to be true. It's not gonna fucking happen. Because it didn't. Every, Every, every good thing that we looked forward to as kids, including my sisters, we all expected it not to happen. It would just get shot down and we never got to enjoy it. And so it was very uncomfortable for me for a long time. And then when I moved in there, it was like I had this overwhelming peace of, like, I can fucking heal. Like, I can rest. Like, I can go to sleep and not worry about someone kicking my door in. Like, one of the triggers I used to have was somebody knocking on my door. Cause there used to be a slit in my room at my old house. And it was an old farmhouse, so everything was, like, slanted and lopsided and shit. And, like, beat up. And I had a little slit in the door from him fucking kicking my door in all the time. So he would. I just remember seeing his fucking eyeballs look in to see if I was in my room. When he would punish me or to see if I was, like, asleep or something. I would fake sleep every time. I remember one of the most traumatic fucking things is hearing that motherfucker walk up the stairs because it used to creak. I'd hear the fucking creek, and I would jump in bed and then fucking try to hold my breath so he didn't think I was awake and he wouldn't bother me. And I remember I had a. Like a mesh. A mesh blanket. And I remember seeing his eyeballs. It was like, I was in prison, bro. The dude was fucking. Like, I'd be like. Like real quiet. He always did, like, traumatic. Like. Like, not traumatic, but startling. Like, kick the door and scare the out of me and then trash all my toys and then leave and laugh. And so it was like, I always. I always like. Or he would kick the fucking door and I didn't even know why. And then start beating the fuck out of me for something I apparently did fucking wrong. Whether it was getting in an argument with my sisters or maybe a fucking fist fight. Earlier, me and my older sister used to fucking fight all the time. But my rule was I wasn't allowed to fucking hit her back. So I used to hate her. She fucked me up all the time and. Till I got older. But. But yeah. So one of my triggers was like, somebody knocking on the fucking door. I didn't have to deal with that. He did it a couple times, and I would, like, freak the fuck out. It was like a PTSD fucking thing. Like, I hated it. It, like, made me angry as fuck. I don't know why. I was, like, ready to fucking fight people over it. But I didn't have to deal with danger anymore. I was able to be in a house where I could have food. I didn't. We used to get yelled at, all of us kids, for even opening the door for more than, like, 15 seconds in the fridge. Get the fuck out of the fridge. Like, you were afraid to fucking eat.
Shawn Ryan
Damn, man.
Joe Peifer
Or you were told you couldn't eat. You know, because we only had so much food and it would fucking go so fast. You know, we're household of seven, and so, yeah, it was like, you know, I didn't have to worry about how much food I ate. He used to make fun of me for how fast I ate because I would, like, scarf down food and because we always had a lack of food. But, yeah, it was the first real, like, peaceful moment in my life that I had.
Shawn Ryan
Was there an adjustment period?
Joe Peifer
Definitely. Definitely, like, you know what I mean? It just. It didn't feel real. It felt like it was only going to last so long. And then, you know, probably after, like, the first year, I was like, man, like, this is awesome. This is amazing. And, yeah, I'll never. I'll never not be thankful for that, man.
Shawn Ryan
Do you still train with him?
Joe Peifer
Nah, he. He's old, man. He's 40. He claims he's old. He's not old. He's. He's on a different goal in life. He's out there trying to run five miles in 30 minutes. That's one of his goals. And yeah, he's a little banged up from wrestling. Plus, I whoop his ass now anyway. It's not even fair. Yeah, we used to be competitive. Yeah, I still would. He still would catch me in high school, but I could beat him. But now it's like, you're. I'm a lot bigger. Yeah. So he don't. Old man don't want that ass whooping no more. But I've been trying to get him back into lifting and everything, but, you know, he's got three kids now and one daughter has special needs, and, you know, he's got a wife and everything. This is really hard for him to take the time to, you know, really go out and train, but he was only ever a wrestler anyway.
Shawn Ryan
Do you guys still see each other a lot?
Joe Peifer
Yeah, pretty often. You know, there's sometimes where we're going lows, and I don't get to see him that often, or we don't talk that much, but, you know, we still. I got him out to the last fight because it was in our home, like, in our state, and, you know, anytime I get to talk about him, I do. And, you know, we still hang out and still see each other, and I hope to do that till the day he passes away and I pass away.
Shawn Ryan
So I hope that happens.
Joe Peifer
That's a friend for life for me, man. So I'll never forget everything that he's done, and I'll always cherish our lunchtime periods, playing chess, splitting a sandwich that his wife would make. I've never seen somebody put so much meat on a sandwich, but it was banging, man. It was banging. I used to think that that was, like, the most, like, man, how do you afford this? That's how broke I was, man. Oh, man. So, yeah, no, Harmon is a godsend to my life and for sure saved my life from very, very, very dark times. And, you know, he literally looked at me when he took me in and he said, I believe you can make it. And he's like, and I want to see how far you can go, and I want to see what you're made of, and you can live here for free, but if this is what you really want to do, I want to see you chase it. That's all I did, bro. Eat, sleep, train just kept going. And that's why when I lost my first contender, that's why I felt like a fucking loser. Because when they told me it was over, I was like, I lied to everybody. Little did I know, well, let's move.
Shawn Ryan
Let's move into. So, I mean, 19. You're living with him. You had already gone pro?
Joe Peifer
No. So I turned pro by the time I was 21. I had five amateur fights. 21 or 22.
Shawn Ryan
When did you start fighting amateur?
Joe Peifer
20. 17. 2017.
Shawn Ryan
How old were you then?
Joe Peifer
19.
Shawn Ryan
19.
Joe Peifer
So I had already had fights by the time I moved with him. I had four fights by the time I moved to him, and then I did My last amateur fight with him and then my pro debut. So I think it was 19. 19 or 20, whatever. I was, what? I'm 28 now.
Shawn Ryan
Full MMA fight. How old were you with the first one?
Joe Peifer
19? Yeah, 19. Yeah. Because I was still getting escorted. I was either 19 or just turned 20 because I still got an escort across the casino floor.
Shawn Ryan
Holy.
Joe Peifer
And Harmon was the escort.
Shawn Ryan
How did that. I mean, how did that come about? How do you transition from wrestling jiu jitsu into.
Joe Peifer
So I always had this dream, though. I always had this dream, you know, I always wanted to. Wanted to fight. I always wanted to be in the ufc. I always. I always envisioned people chanting my name and 20, 000 fans and me walking out. And in the UFC, it was never anything else. It wasn't Bellator, it wasn't one championship. It was always UFC, UFC, UFC. And I was working 60 hours a week in a deadbeat job for Verizon Wireless phone sales that I hated. I hated everybody I worked with.
Shawn Ryan
I. I cannot see you selling cell phone flats.
Joe Peifer
Everybody laughs. Yeah, it was fucking terrible. I hated that fucking job. Fucking dookie, bro. Oh, man. I didn't sell shit. So, yeah, I was working 60 hours a week, and I wound up just taking a fight just to take it. And I.
Shawn Ryan
Who approached you? I mean, how'd you even. How did you get in there?
Joe Peifer
I told Sam Morpeza, who wind up becoming my coach. He wasn't my coach for my first four. I'm sorry. He wasn't my coach for my first three amateur fights. I was at a school called Balance Studios with a guy named Rick Miglerees, who's a longtime black belt. Was there at my first competition when I was five years old. Like, dude's known me for years. Love him to death. Great inspiration, like, fucking solid fucking dude. So I was a part of that team for a while. After Fight Factory went away, he closed the gym. Steve had closed the gym. I joined Balance Studios. And so I was working 60 hours a week, and I had one of my teammates, Basil, and I had Rick Migleris as my corner. But I had reached out to Sam about wanting to fight, and he got me my first fight with organization called XCC at the time, and real scumbag promoter. I'm not gonna mention her name. She fucking flipped me off right before my last fight. Fucking bitch. Funny story, nobody talks shit on you, woman. But, so, yeah, she. I got a fight and I fought this guy. I was 178lbs, fighting at 185. Didn't lift had my own schedule, didn't do shit. Barely was training, but trained like once every fucking once a Sunday. Was sparring and just went and took a fight. Knocked the guy out in 17 seconds. Flatlined him.
Shawn Ryan
17 seconds, 17 seconds.
Joe Peifer
Threw a fucking inside kick, hit him with a cross right hand, put him out face down. They took him out in a stretcher oxygen tank. And he had brain hemorrhaging. I don't know if that's brain bleeding or something. But he was never cleared or allowed to fight again ever since. So I felt terrible about that. I actually saw his coach last year for the first time and he was like, yeah, you know, he never was allowed to fight after that. He's the one that told me. And I was like, damn, bro, that fucking sucks. Like, tell him I'm sorry. But yeah, I smoked that dude. Immediately had another fight, was training for it. This is why I said this, this woman is a scumbag. Was training for my next fight, was going through that toxic relationship with that first girlfriend still living in that environment, you know, like I told you about all the that had happened there. And she basically would fucking break up with me and then go to a college party and fuck dudes and fucking. I was like, fucking gutted. I was one of them dumb kids that didn't have any confidence in the love world, didn't know how to navigate it, didn't know it wasn't love. You know, two broken kids against the world type thing, like I had said. And fucking. I was heartbroken. So I wasn't eating, I wasn't sleeping. I got down to like 168 and I had to force drink myself to get up to 174.
Shawn Ryan
Wow.
Joe Peifer
And I still fought. And this is where I don't like the woman, is that she had known I was going to fight a collegiate wrestler the entire time. So I was training for a boxing guy. And then she switched it the day before and says, oh, yeah, your opponent pulled out, but we have somebody else for you. I asked the kid, the kid's like, yeah, I had a little training camp. So anyway, I fought this kid, he was much bigger than me, whatever. I rocked him. He just wrestle me for like three rounds. And I wasn't upset about it. And I was like, what the. Like, this is what I want to do, but I'm not upset about it. And I was like, I can't have a half foot in, half foot out. So I fought one more fight after that. So I'm one on one. I go fight again and I Choke a dude out, smoke him in the first round. And then I was like, you know what? This just isn't fulfilling. I feel like I'm fucking off. And I was like, I can't have one foot in, one foot out. I'm gonna quit my job. And at that time, I had already quit my job at Verizon. I worked at Honda, Piazza Honda for a little bit as a salesman. Got fucking bent over with that job. Didn't get any fucking sales.
Shawn Ryan
I was like, I'm sorry.
Joe Peifer
No, it is funny.
Shawn Ryan
Just don't strike me as a salesman. This reminds me of, like, my first job after the SEAL teams. I became a real estate agent for, like, two weeks.
Joe Peifer
Yeah. And you realize you're like, dude, this shit sucks. So I was like, man, fuck that. So then I worked even better. It gets better. I worked at LA Fitness for a little while.
Shawn Ryan
Nice.
Joe Peifer
Selling gym memberships. And then this turd of a manager I had was changing the last names of the people that I would schedule to come in to buy memberships or, you know, joined the gym and was taking my commissions. So I remember I worked like 67 hours one week, and I got like a $453 paycheck. And I was like, you fucking bitch. Like, I hate your guts. And I was like, what am I doing? I was like, I'd rather be broke than fucking work this much to just have that little bit of money. And I hadn't had any sponsorships yet and fighting or anything like that. And I was begging Samuel Peter to coach me, and he put me through the fucking ringer, man. So I wound up quitting my job. And I went in and I gave her the finger and throw shit off her desk. And I said, you're a scumbag for stealing from a kid. And I gave her the finger and left. And she tried to tell me she was going to call the cops. I was like, call him, you fat. Like, I was. I, like, said a lot of up to her, but I quit. And then I just pursued fighting full time, man. And I always knew I could have done so much more. More because I would go in and train with guys that were training full time and do hold my own and do better than hold my own. And I was like, man, these guys train every day and they're bigger than me. They got strength conditioning, they have money for supplements, and I'm still them up. So I finally got serious, man. And I was like, this is it Plan A or nothing? And that's when my car got repossessed. All those things. So then I fought another fight against this guy I had real beef with. It's a hilarious fucking thing. He was, like, talking shit. He was gonna eat McDonald's and knock me the fuck out. He said he was gonna knock, put his nuts on my face if he knocked me out. All this shit. Mind you, this guy's like, 34. I'm 20. So I was like, all right, bitch. Like, you know, it was the first time that I sold tickets. I was in the negative. Every time I sold tickets before that, I didn't sell shit. Nobody wanted to see me fight. Nobody gave a. This one, I sold 150 tickets as an amateur, which was huge back then. And I actually made a couple hundred bucks, and I knocked him the fuck out. I dropped him on a jab. I was screaming. I was like, get up, motherfucker. I was like, come take my name. Talk all that shit. I was like, get up, motherfucker. Like, I wanted to. I tried to kill this guy. So I fucking send him to the shadow realm, knock him the fuck out, and knocked him out bad. Like, he was in a pool of blood. Like, split his fucking mouth open and put him out one shot. And that's when my career really started taking off. That's when people were like, yo, this kid's got something.
Shawn Ryan
I mean, you're known for knocking people out fast.
Joe Peifer
Yeah.
Shawn Ryan
How do you do it? I've been a lot of bar fights. Never dropped somebody.
Joe Peifer
That's crazy.
Shawn Ryan
Hey, I hit doesn't connect, buddy.
Joe Peifer
Yeah, I think. Well, that's part of the problem. You got to connect to be able to put somebody out. Yeah, I think. I just think, you know, this is where I credit my father. I got to start so young, so my understanding is better than someone who just started. I understand rotation, rotating my hips, and landing at one time and having speed. You know, it's not all about just power, but it's speed. It's timing. It's. It's the perfect. It's the perfect shot. When you land that perfect shot, you'll feel a whip right through your body. You'll feel like a. It's almost like a snap, like, boom. Like a whip crack. And you'll feel it. It's like a. It's like a wave. It, like, travels up. You'll see, like, the whip in your muscle. If you watch some of my fights after this and you see, like, some of the shots that I hit the people with, you'll see it, like, ripple all the way through my tricep. Like, it'll get like a jiggle, like. And it's so. I think that's part of it, you know? And everybody at this level has knockout power. And they're all good. And they're all good.
Shawn Ryan
Where's the placement?
Joe Peifer
The placement? I mean, listen, Temple, Ear. This is probably the most dangerous one. And then if you can catch that chin. Because really, all a knockout is is your brain bouncing off your skull, and then you go unconscious. It's a. It's your body's way of protecting. Protecting you. Or at least that's what I think. I'm not a.
Shawn Ryan
Doesn't seem like good protection.
Joe Peifer
It's not, because then you're defenseless, but, yeah, so I just have a really good understanding. And I always prided myself in power. I actually never knocked anybody out. I've dropped people before that, and I've hurt people, but I never really knocked anybody out until I knocked out the first guy in my amateur fight. So I won that fight, and then I fought again, Knocked that guy out, made my pro debut, knocked that guy out, fought another fight, won a decision.
Shawn Ryan
How did you make your pro debut?
Joe Peifer
So I made my pro debut. I was 4 and 1 as an amateur, and I just felt held back. I was like, bro, I want to elbow motherfuckers. I want to knee them in their face. I want to kick them in their face. I'm a complete mixed martial artist. I want to use all the tools. I felt so held back with. When you're an amateur, until you become an advanced amateur, you can kick the leg without shin guards, but you can't kick them in the face. If you drop somebody in the amateurs with the shin guards, you can't hit them in the face. You can only hit them in the body. I'm like, well, the fuck's the point in dropping them? So I made sure when I hit people, I just had to fucking put them out in one shot. And it was the intention, my intention was to actually, like, I used to picture Mortal Kombat. When I hit you, your head fucking shatters. And I still had that rage. I still had that anger. So when I was hitting you, I was putting everything into every shot, and it paid off. Now it doesn't pay off because you got guys that are defensively responsible, they know how to weather the storm, and, you know, they have good game plans, and they've been there, done that against guys who everybody hits hard. So it's a little bit different now. You have to really be technical to get that shot. But I was ready to make my pro debut at this point, I already got. Sam came on board. Sam Morpiza, who's very monumental as to why my hands are as good as they are. He came on board. Board for my fourth amateur fight against that guy that I told you was talking on me. His name was Adam Atia. Complete loser. And yeah, so I beat him. I had Sam. Sam used to make me show up at 3am just to see if I would show up. Make 5am, 6am, drive all the way to Philly, 40 minutes just to see if I would show up. And I did it time and time again, time and time again. And I kept asking him and begging him to coach me. And I finally got him on board and. And I told him I would do whatever it takes to be successful at this. And I'll wake up at any hour. I don't give a fuck what time it is. Let's do it. And I did that. He definitely tested that. And I just started improving and getting better and getting better and getting better. I would say where I developed the slowest though, was the diet. I didn't have money to really eat super, super clean like I do now. But yeah, I made my pro debut and fucking smashed the dude. Smashed the dude. I mounted him and like, I was just being. This is where I say I wouldn't stop if there wasn't a ref at that time because I was so anger filled that I would like get off on hurting people. So I remember I was sitting on top. I like, I was beating his ass for like, I did it in the first round, but I was beating his ass and I took him down, threw him down. I already cut him with an elbow on his head. And I mounted him and I postured up and just started hitting him and. And the dumbest thing he could have done was try to hit me back. And then I wound up hitting him and his eyes rolled. I must have hit him like eight times before the ref got me off. And he was like crucified, like out. And I just kept fucking hitting him like I wouldn't stop. And the ref threw me off. And that was my pro debut. It was probably one of my favorite wins because just how violent it was, you could see the anger and shit like that. And for me, it wasn't just anger towards my father and my life, but it was anger towards like, you motherfuckers don't think I'm gonna make it. I'm coming. So that was my pro debut. Then I fought my second fight against a guy who Fought in Bellator, who had, like, a lot more experience than me. And I beat his ass, dominated him. It was so slippery. I definitely could have finished the fight, but it was so slippery and humid in there. I remember I couldn't, like, fucking place my feet or anything. And I want a decision. And then I won all finishes. I was 6 0, won my first title for Art of War, this company called Art Venue called Art of War. And then I lost my first fight.
Shawn Ryan
Because what's Sam thinking leading up to this?
Joe Peifer
Leading up to what?
Shawn Ryan
To your first loss. You're just crushing.
Joe Peifer
He knew he. I was more than ready. I was more than ready, but I didn't let him know where I was mentally. I was suicidal again.
Shawn Ryan
You were suicidal through the winds?
Joe Peifer
Yeah. I was angry, man. It was eating me up. I hadn't forgiven my father. I hated my life. Like, I still wasn't making any money. You basically fight for free, bro, all the way up until you get to the ufc, you know, they might give you two grand maybe. And that. That's as a professional with, like, fight experience. You know, when you're an amateur, you don't get paid a purse. You only get ticket sales. And I didn't sell any tickets for my first three, so I wound up owing money because I would spend the money I had, I needed to fucking survive, you know, before I was living with Harmon. But then, you know, my first. I think I made 500, 500. My first pro fight. Maybe 700, 700, or maybe 350, 350, something like that. I don't remember what it was. And. But I started picking up some sponsorships, so it made it a little easier, you know? And Sam, like, Sam didn't just coach me. Sam, he was a fighter, too. He fought in bellator. He was 13, three as a professional, very successful MMA guy. But then he had a kid, then he had another kid, and just like, fighting was not feasible if you lost. And he lost one of his last fights as an MMA fighter, and it just wasn't. It just didn't make sense for him to do it anymore.
Shawn Ryan
I mean, when you say suicidal, how. How suicidal are you talking about? Thinking about it every day, multiple times?
Joe Peifer
Yeah, every day. Every day. I just had this dark cloud over me. Like, I started feeling worthless because I had the problem with. Now that I'm a fighter, my identity is fighting. And then I forgave my father. Like, I tried to let go of it right before my. I was six. And right before my seventh fight, professional fight, I. So I'd already won a title art award. Then I went to this company called Ring of Combat, which were awesome, and I won the title there. And mind you, I was finishing everybody in the first round. I only had one decision, so I was. I knocked everybody the fuck out and won the belt in like 50 seconds or something. Like, smash this guy. And then I was fighting a guy who honestly wasn't really that good. He was like 6 and 4 at the time, or 5 and 4, or 5 and 3, something like that. And I was 6 0, and. And I was supposed to fight a guy who was 10 and 3, but he was a replacement because the guy pulled out, got hurt or something. And it was the first time I ever walked into a fight and I was like, there was no music that could hype me. There was no people that could motivate me. And I was just like, I don't want to do this. It was the weirdest fucking feeling, man. It was a weirdest feeling. And it was the first time that I had had my girl's family come and watch me because we. We didn't like each other at first. They didn't like me. I didn't like them. You know, I'm the disgruntled, angry kid who used to fight kids and fucking was an angry kid. And they didn't want to be with her, with their daughter type shit. And, you know, I didn't blame them. Looking back, I don't blame them at all. And I love their family, you know, they are family to me. And the Kaka family is probably another godsend. Not even probably. They are a godsend. They've been wonderful people. So walked out there, man, was trashing this guy, dominating him and everything. And then I was tired. I had his back. I had mount, but I didn't have the finishing mentality. So I wasn't trying to ground and pound, like, to get him out of there. I was just trying to control him. And I don't know why. And it would. It still. It still bothers me because, like, bro, I took him down at will. I dominated and everything. So then I took a shot. I was already tired. I blew my nut. I was done. And I didn't have anything to fight for. I didn't know what I was fighting for. First time it ever happened to me. Didn't have the anger, didn't have the fucking. Let me prove everybody wrong. And I fucking took a shot, like, slipped, like, kind of like did a split and I was against a cage and he stuck a guillotine and I didn't tap and got put to sleep, wake up and fucking. That was the first time I was devastated and I was fucking crying, looking at myself in the mirror, like, what a fucking loser. What a pussy. And all these things and just like, real negative. And, you know, that's where that girl is very special, you know?
Shawn Ryan
I mean, did you talk to anybody about suicidal tendencies or not before that, you just.
Joe Peifer
Nah, just bottled it up. I was always used to handling emotions on my own, one foot in front of the other. I didn't tell Sam. I didn't tell. You know, I told Harmon about the abuse at home, but I would never tell him about suicide. I would never tell him about depression because I thought it was weak to talk about it as a man. And when it's not, there's nothing wrong with talking about it, especially if you're struggling with it, you know. So after that I did, and, you know, I got myself right, and I came back and I also went and got a different look from another team because the team that I was was training at, which was Bounce Studios, they're amazing jiu jitsu school, but they are not an MMA program school. And at least to make it to that level, to the UFC level. And so I went out to Colorado and trained with a team called Elevation. I went and trained with Neil Magni, who's in the ufc, been a long time vet, whatever. And I got a different look, was training at Altitude, came back, you know, got another first round or second round knockout, and got my mind right, got myself physically right, like, was lifting and eating right and doing all these things, and I just started going on a tear. And then I got that Contender Series fight.
Shawn Ryan
How did that come on your plate after my return?
Joe Peifer
So I lost, then I won, and then I got the Contender Series fight. And so now I'm 7:1, and I go to fight this guy Stoltzfus, who I broke my arm against.
Shawn Ryan
Did they approach you?
Joe Peifer
Yes. So they approached my management. My management approached them with my record, you know, you kind of. You have a manager that goes. Who I've signed with since I was one, and now his name's Lloyd Pearson, and I've been with him. He's under Vayner Sports, and I've been with him since I was one, and now it's like. And he doesn't take people that are that young in their career. But Chandler had initially done a documentary that was about my life trying to get into the ufc, but it was deleted because we just redid it once the Story made sense when I got ufc. But anyway, nonetheless, they saw the documentary. Eddie Alvarez I was close with, who was in the ufc. Ufc, former champion. He was a champion of bellator. Champion in UFC. Fought and won. Fought Dustin Poirier, Conor McGregor, all kinds of people. Rafael Dos Anjos is who we beat to win the belt. So, anyway, Lloyd manages Eddie, and then that's how that connection happened. And then they signed me at 1 0, so Lloyd paid for me to go out to Denver. That's how I got to go out there, because I didn't have the money for it. Gave me a car and everything, and. And me and my girl went out there and, you know, so it was a good experience for me. But, yeah, so he contacted the ufc. UFC offered me a fight against this guy who was 12 and 1, which was Dustin Stoltzfuss. I go out there and I fight him. And I had Sam or Peace. And I had one of my best friends at the time in my corner. That was it. I had one real coach. I had no training partners. It was just me and him. And it was during COVID So I. Yeah, it was. It was. It was bad. It sucked. And so I got out there and I fight and I lost. I broke my elbow. Get put in an ambulance. Don't get me. Don't get to meet Dana White. All he posts is like, oh, yeah, Joe had a dislocation. He'll be fine. Because that's all we thought it was at first. Turns out I exploded the radial head in my elbow, which was like, I can turn my hand like this, but I can't turn my hand like this. So now I have. I can't power clean. I can't turn my hand. My arm doesn't go straight. When I had my first surgery. So before I skipped it, I got an ambulance. I'm fucking crying, and I'm like, Dude, I did 20 years in this fucking sport to fail. And I remember asking God, like, why? What the fuck am I supposed to learn from this? What is the point? And that are da, da, da, da. Victim, victim mentality. And, you know, had I just been patient, realized that no storm lasts forever, I would be okay, but went to another dark place again. And I got the first surgery, but they told me, you never fight again. They were like, you're done. You're not fighting again. Like, you'll slip the. You'll dislocate it. Even easier now because they had to cut one of the capsules, which I guess is like a Saram wrap that holds all your joints and muscles and ligaments in place or something like that could be that up. But that's essentially the idea. So I get the surgery and my arms like this. Literally like this. So, and I do all the therapy and the rehab and all this. And I come and I see, I drive to Sam's house and I'm like, look, man, I was like, I'm going to come back. I'm going to fight. I'm going to fight. He's looking at me like, what the Joe? Like, it's not going to happen. And then I tried to go back. I joined Team Marquez, which is where I'm at now. My head coach is John Marquez. Jonathan Webb's my jiu jitsu coach. And then I was close with Shawn Brady. I knew Sean Brady since I was 13 years old and he was 16 years old. And I had always, like, stayed in contact with him. Not often, but every now and then. We always had a good mutual respect for each other. And I'd been telling him before I lost the Contender Series that I wanted to make the move over there because I knew I needed a real team if I was going to make this my career. I needed real sparring partners, real regiment. Like, we didn't even have an MF MMA program. All the way I made it to the ufc, and the way I won all these fights was literally simply hitting pads. Wow. Hardly sparring. Maybe once a week, I sparred with Basil Hafez, who's in the UFC. I'd spar with him, who was a 70 pounder, who I would do very well against, and it wasn't enough.
Shawn Ryan
Wow.
Joe Peifer
I had my best friend at the time that it was only a wrestler who knew no fighting at all, and I would just use him as a drill dummy. And that's how I made my first Contender Series run.
Shawn Ryan
Holy.
Joe Peifer
No strength conditioning coach or nothing. So look at all these pieces that I didn't have to the puzzle. And that's, that's the other thing that gave me motivation. It's like, once I get these things right, I'm gonna go on a tear. Once I get these things right, I'm gonna go on a tear. So, anyway, I have the first surgery, I'm up from it, my elbow's stuck. I have excruciating pain every time I extend. It's the worst nerve pain I've ever felt in my life, let alone the surgery itself, plus the break. Worst pain I ever felt. And, you know, all the while I keep telling my girl, like, you know, at that time, Like, I'm gonna make it. I'm gonna make it. I'm gonna do it for us. I'm gonna do it for us. I promise, I promise, I promise, I promise. So I go and I get it. I go back to the same surgeon. I'm like, look, dude, something's wrong. Takes an X ray. He's like, ah, there's nothing we can do. Like, you know, if you do. If we do any more stuff, surgery, like, you're going to have nerve damage. You're going to have. It's going to be loose. It's going to be like flailing around in there every time you punch, which it was. And so I went to this guy named Dr. Toasti, who I'm friends with today, and I love that man. And he got me back in the cage, and he said, you have a 30% chance of success. And as soon as he said that, as he was talking, I was like, when? Let's do it when? Scheduled it four days later or a week later, and right there in the office and fucking went and did it all over. So I was back to square one. So I wasted a whole year of therapy and rehab just to go do it all over again. Except this time, he slit the whole outside again, and he slit the whole inside, and he had to cut the capsule. I had a torn forearm still, which is why I was in so much pain for almost a year. And mind you, while having a torn forearm, they're hanging fucking weights off of you and chains and fucking making you do all this and stretching it while I have a torn forearm. So the pain was. I've never felt something like that. And so I go get the second surgery, and here we go. Long road to recovery again. By the time I was good, I went and joined Team Marquez and went over there, and I was training with Sean. And, you know, I got cleared probably two weeks right before I was allowed to fight. I scheduled a fight when I wasn't cleared, and then I got cleared literally two weeks before the fight. But two weeks before the fight, I break my left thumb off the joint, and I already have all these nerves, like, do I still got it? Am I going to be able to make it? Blah, blah, blah. I'm fighting a World team trials wrestler. I was supposed to fight a former UFC fighter. His name was Kyle Magalesh, Brazilian. And he pulled out of the fight. I think he was just a. And didn't want to fight because apparently he had a heart issue. But then he was eating burgers on his Instagram. I Don't know what really went down, but yeah, I don't know what went down. So they gave me this guy who was Derek Brunson, who was also a UFC fighters wrestling coach. Guy made. He was. He. He didn't make the World Team World team for wrestling, but he did compete in the World team trials, which is a very high, you know, respectable level of wrestling. And mind you, he was young in his career. He was 3040-I was 7 and 1 or 7 and 2, but I was out for two years. So, yeah, so I go and I have that fight. I squeeze my hand into the glove. Got past the commission without them knowing I had a broken hand and I couldn't throw my left hand the whole time in the return fight. But I remember my nerves being the worst they ever were. Scared as like, dude, what the am I doing? Why am I doing this? Like, do I still got it? Like, what the. Went out there and faced those demons and, you know, got the second round knockout and that dude up. And, you know, then my coach told the commentators, he's like, you just did that with a broken hand. And they were taken back by that. And, you know, I had my speech about like, I didn't lose that fucking fight. It was a freak accident. And I want to get my fucking shot back. I deserve it. And especially after what I've gone through just to get back here. And I said, you know, I knew as soon as I came in here and that bell rang that this wasn't fucking over and I'm coming. And shortly after that, you know, they hit up my manager, the ufc, and they said, hey, look, we got another fight for him if he wants to do this. And I think it was August, and when I got the call, I was playing a lot of street ball and I fucking broke my ankle. Dislocated my ankle like three weeks after the fight. So I'm in a boot and they're like, do you want this fight?
Shawn Ryan
And I was like, yep, this is the ufc.
Joe Peifer
The ufc, yeah. My manager calls me, he's like, do you want to take this fight? And I said, well, I'm sitting in a boot. But I was like, fuck, yeah, let's do it. Let's run it back. And it was against a guy who was an LFA middleweight champion, used to be a 205 champion, I think he was a two way champion, I don't remember, but he was like 7:1 or 8:1, had all knockouts, all finishes, and I was the underdog again. And the guy that I was living with me, my girl and him all lived in the same house at that time. And fucking when I went away to corner one of my teammates, Andrew Petrowski, in the ufc, they had done a bunch of showings and we didn't know they were going to sell the house, but the showings happened while I was away. And then when we got back, he tells me, like, two, three weeks before, we didn't think we were going to have to move for like months. And he tells me like, two. Two weeks, three weeks before my fight. Yeah, you guys got to find somewhere to live because we're out of here on this date, which is Tuesday. I fought Friday, we were kicked out. And I'm like, well, fuck, where am I going to go? I don't have any money. I don't, I don't, you know, whatever. But first things first, I got to win this fight. And meanwhile, while that's happening, he overdosed on pills or something. And I remember I found him in his room bugging the out, like, cross side, as I'd never dealt with anybody overdose in front of my face, but I knew something was wrong. And I went in the room and I was like, yo, I'm going to go train or whatever. And dude was like, fucking, like, couldn't even talk. He was like, I'm like, what the fuck is wrong with you? Remember making fun of him, like, what are you. What the fuck are you doing? Like, what the fuck's wrong? He's like, like. And then I realized he was fucked up. And I don't. Till this day, I have no idea what it was. But his parents, I told his parents, I said, look, I can't deal with this motherfucker. You gotta come get him, take him to the hospital. I'm fucking done with this dude. And there was a whole lot of shit leading up to it that I don't care to talk about, but the dude was just a fuck up. And so I go train, whatever. The week before the fight, dude disappears again. First of all, he went to a rehab. And then I picked him up in the rehab and I was like, dude, you know, you'd always talk to me like the bro. Like, why wouldn't you tell me something like this and all that? He said, oh, I'm sorry, all this crap, and then does it again in a week and disappears and nobody can find him. Overdosed again in a hotel. And then at that point, my attitude was like, I hope you fucking die this time, because if you're going to keep fucking taking Advantage of everybody that loves you. Something I never had. And you have good parents, and you have a good mother, you have a good father, and all you give a fuck about is fucking. Fucking up every opportunity that was ever given to you. Then I don't want you around me. And so. And then he tried to call me the day before my fight and be like, yeah, I figured, you want to hear that I'm alive. And I'm like, bro, honestly, I didn't care if you were. Were dead. And I remember hanging up the phone and being, like, off, like. So then I fought all the fights. Sucked ass on that card. There's five fights, 10 fighters, and I fight. And once again, I'm standing. You know, I thought was up is I'm standing in the room behind the doors. You walk out of these doors, and you go right to the cage at the apex. So it's a very big moment. It's very intimate. You don't have any walkout music. It's very quiet. There's no fans. It's just UFC staff and your fighters. That's it. And the coaches, so you can hear everything. And that was my first environment. Like, second time trying to do it in this environment, which I kind of liked, but it's a little more intimate. And they're fucking playing on the screen, my arm breaking in front of my face before I walk out. And I'm. And I remember just being like, all right, motherfucker. Like, I don't know. I had that victim mentality still. I felt like they were doing it on purpose. I'm like, why the. Would they play? Why would they have a TV right at the entrance where I can see my arm break? Looking back, that's not what they were trying to do. It's just, you know, telling the backstory as to my journey coming back. So, anyway, I go out there, I fight, I knock the guy out, and then I scream at Dana White, thank you for the opportunity. And I was like, sign my. And I screamed it at him, and nobody's ever screamed at Dana, so. And my coaches were worried that, yo, motherfucker, you might not get a contract because you just cursed at him. And I was the only one that got a contract. And he drops the whole, be Joe Pifer. If you want to get in the ufc, act like, Joe Pifer beat Joe Pifer. And it was.
Shawn Ryan
What did he mean by that?
Joe Peifer
I think it was the way I interpret it is he knows the story of how I broke my elbow, and it was done, and I came back and I won a fight and I still asked for a fight. And I took it and I came back and I was the only one that was, like, passionate. I was the only one that was, like, relentless. Like, I was going to fucking get it finished. Like, I didn't stop trying to win the fight, like he said. Like, I was trying to fucking smash this dude. And I think he loved the energy afterwards. It was like I was fighting for something much more than just the fight for the win. I was fighting for my fucking life. I was fighting for a fucking way to provide for me and my girl and things like that, you know? And I think he appreciated that. So I think it was just the resilience of my story, the resilience of the journey not being. Not accepting. No. And going away. Like, I fought and I came back. They promised me a return fight, and they. They didn't give it to me. They said, nah, go get one more win. So I was fucking pissed about that. Came back, got the win, then I get the thing, and all the media, basically everybody wrote me the fuck off. One of the most hurtful things about the first fucking loss in the Contender Series was I heard sponsors, like, telling people, they were like, yeah, he's fucking done. I fucking wasted my money on this kid and all this shit. And, like, I didn't hear from him. They wouldn't answer my text, answer my phone calls, and nothing. Like, I lost so many people through that process. You find out who's real when you're at your low, and I'm thankful for it again. And so, yeah, I think B. Joe Peifer is just the resilience of never accepting the odds not being in my favor. And I kept fighting, kept fighting, kept fighting, and I wasn't gonna quit. So I go out there and I beat a guy I was supposed to lose against on paper, which means nothing. And then I scream at him to give him my fucking opportunity, you know, I think that fired him up too. Like somebody who wants to be here, somebody who's dying to get this opportunity, that's a motherfucker that deserves it. So I think that's why I used me as an example. And he was very frustrated at the other performance, performances of the night, so it also helped that they didn't do. They didn't do good. And then, yeah, he wound up.
Shawn Ryan
How did that make you feel to get that kind of recognition from Dana White?
Joe Peifer
Man, I was floating on cloud nine. I never smiled so much in my life. It felt so good to just smile and just be happy. Of What I've done for once, I didn't have that moment before that, you know? And even. Even people on the regional scene, like, local to home, I don't think that they thought I was going to make it. I think they knew I had potential before I got hurt. But then after that, nobody really thought I was coming back. They thought I was done. And so, yeah, it was one of the best feelings in the world. And then he wound up flying me out that weekend, so it was cool how things transpired, right? So obviously I fell on cloud nine. He wound up giving me money to house me for the next. I told that story for the next year. But then Dana personally flew me and my girl out to Texas for the Amanda Nunes Joanna Pena 2 fight. I think it was where she got her belt back. And, you know, I got to meet Mike Tyson, which was like my favorite fighter of all time. I'm not a guy that's a fanboy. I don't really care to meet people aside from. Honestly, you've probably been one of the people that I'm most excited to meet, aside from Mike Tyson. But I would say this is a lot more meaningful just because of the impact of it. But he was one of my favorite boxers. I grew up watching him. I loved his aura, like the black shorts, the mean mentality, like, I really related with that. So he flew me out there. So I won my fight on Tuesday. I flew home in the airport on Wednesday. They had already sent me another fight. And I accepted the fight in the baggage claim area, waiting for my fucking bags. And it was on my birthday one month later, on September 17th. So I. I flew home Tuesday. I'm sorry, I fought Tuesday, flew home Wednesday, accepted another fight. Thursday I moved out of the condo that I was in. It works out like I told you, with the condo, with my strength conditioning coach, Adam Farris, he owns Pursuit. He's the one that got me fucking yoked now. But that man changed my fucking life too, bro. Every person that I've added has fucking done. They've changed my life. So, yeah, Wednesday I flew home, took another fight. Thursday I moved out. And Friday I moved into the condo. Saturday I flew out to the fights. And first time I'd ever been able to go to an event that fucking close. Sitting right next to Dana, right behind him. And yeah, it was a fucking fairy tale, man. And even just fucking walking through the fighter tunnel. Cause I still hadn't fought in the. I hadn't made my debut yet. So I don't know what any of that's like. But I'm walking out through the tunnel where the fighters would walk, and, like, people are screaming my name and saying, yo, Piper. Yo, B. Joe Piper. And all this shit. And it was like, damn, that's how fast it changes. And it was just. It was just great, you know, to see the smile on my girl's face and the smile on my face. And, yeah, it was a true moment to always be proud of and never forget. So it was beautiful. It was beautiful.
Shawn Ryan
That's awesome.
Joe Peifer
And I finally got my chance. That's all I ever wanted, was just an opportunity. I didn't want anything given to me. I just wanted an opportunity. And I knew that's the kind of performance I could have. I knew that was the type of breakout I could be, because I'm not a character. I'm just me. So there's no, like, sifting through my attitude to find out who the real guy is. I just say how I feel. And what better sport to be in than fucking UFC to say how you feel? I don't have a boss that's, like, fucking checking in on me or monitoring what I say to a certain extra extent. Like, so. Yeah, yeah, so it was cool, man. It was cool. It was really cool. Very grateful. And, man, you know, now. Now I could look my girl in the face back then and say, I did it. We did it. And that was the most. Yeah, I'll just leave it at that. So I don't cry like a.
Shawn Ryan
That's amazing. That's. That's. That's amazing, man.
Joe Peifer
And I get to look at Sam or Pizza in his face after all the time. Never charged me a fucking dime. Just wanted to see me do better than he did because he got screwed over with some management and some people and things like that. Like, the MMA world did him dirty. But I could look Harmon in the face and say, hey, we've been saying this before. Everybody else believed. You were one of the only motherfuckers that believed. And then Sam, and then my best friend at the time, and then Chandler. You know, I've been friends with Chandler since I was in high school, so. And then. Now he. Look at the career he's got. I think he is one of the most gifted people behind the camera. And I think his gift is expressing what you don't know how to say. So now he lives a life where he gets to do this shit and make documentaries about fucking stories that are 10 times mine. How the fuck is that not a fairy tale?
Shawn Ryan
Don't hype him up too much or I'm gonna steal them.
Joe Peifer
Take him. He's available. You help him by doing that. Now he's. Now he's married, you know, he's able to provide. He's got two kids, two beautiful little kids. And it's a really cool full circle moment, you know?
Shawn Ryan
Is there a driver behind when you're going out there? That is to prove your old man wrong.
Joe Peifer
Not no more.
Shawn Ryan
Nothing.
Joe Peifer
Nah. Not even far in the rear view mirror. Not even a little bit.
Shawn Ryan
Fucking amen.
Joe Peifer
You know why? You know why? Because this is me.
Shawn Ryan
Good for you.
Joe Peifer
I did all this for me and the people that I love, and he's not one of them. So he can't be included in that. What's the point in proving him wrong? I already did that. What has he done that's better than me? You know, not even from a fucking money standpoint. But who has he impacted? What lives has he changed? What lives has he inspired? I'll say my wrongs. I'll admit my wrongs. I'm a man. I can say when I'm wrong something he's never done. All he's ever been is a victim. And that's not me. And I refuse to die that way. And I refuse to live that way because I only get to live once. So when I say fuck that guy, it's not I hate you, it's like, fuck that guy. Who are you? Yeah. You couldn't sit across from me and even compare. You're not a man.
Shawn Ryan
So how's your relationship with your girl's parents now?
Joe Peifer
Amazing. Yeah, amazing. They're awesome. They're amazing. They're great Christian people. I love her brothers, her sister. They've included me on holidays where that's my tradition, which I used to always hate holidays, and now I look forward to it because I get to see her whole family. And, yeah, it's. It's very special. They made me a cornhole master. Her brothers used to hate cornhole. Her brother's got me so good at cornhole now. And, you know, it's just the simple things, man. It's the simple things, you know?
Shawn Ryan
Even when we marry that one.
Joe Peifer
Huh?
Shawn Ryan
You better marry that one.
Joe Peifer
Yeah, yeah, yeah. There's a lot of stuff I still want to do. Like, there's a lot of things I want to accomplish before that. But, yeah, if I'm going to have kids and I'm ever going to get married, that's probably the one. So hopefully I don't fuck it up.
Shawn Ryan
What turned it for him for her.
Joe Peifer
Parents, I think just realizing the person that I was, you know, they had this stigma about who I was and yeah, they had the stigma about who I was and didn't know who I was. They had, they had an idea of what everybody has said, who I am versus who I was. And you know, I was a little douchebag then. You know, she had only had one guy before me and one boyfriend and you know, like I said, grew up super Christian and everything, so I didn't have to deal with any baggage. I know the girl's not a whore, she doesn't have a past. I don't have to deal with any of that crap. And got a good head on her shoulders and. But yeah, there was an instance where I just. There was a couple which I'm not gonna, I'm not even gonna put it out there because I was immature but you know, I used to have a loud car, never pull in the driveway cuz I felt like they were against me because they didn't, they didn't want her to ever like leave her ex at first. And I basically took her from him. So probably not the way that they wanted it to go. And they also wanted to protect the daughter and make sure she wasn't getting involved in something bad or what a bad guy. And you know, there's a stigma around fighters that were violent, mean people and all this, so I don't blame them. And I also didn't act accordingly to change their minds. I was kind of like this, think what you want of me type shit. I don't need to win nothing over with you. But now it's just. I don't know when it changed, man, but they just, it just clicked one day and I think it's just a realization of like what I was trying to do, how I've done it. And when I won my contender series fight, you know, I made sure to say that I love the Kaka family and all that and I do. I love them. I love them kids. I love her parents and they're very wholesome, great people and I'm very fortunate to be involved in their family. So. Yeah.
Shawn Ryan
What's it like going to Christmas and Easter and Thanksgiving and.
Joe Peifer
Homie, I love it, you know? Yeah.
Shawn Ryan
Did you have any of that as a kid?
Joe Peifer
We had some Christmases. We had some Christmases. But you know, the Christmases that we had were always. They weren't as special because you knew how much was going on. Like you can't really just fake because the holiday comes around that the everyday life isn't terrible. So it wasn't very meaningful for my mom getting abused, me getting abused, my sister's getting abused. To us all faking smiles because we got gifts. Now as kids, we're not faking the smiles, but you know, the parents are because you know what's going on. But my mom, like I said, I always give my mom, she's a respectable woman. And like I said, despite the absent years that we've had between us, she always worked her ass off. And that's where I get my work ethic from. And yeah, you know, I hope that she is proud of herself because she did the best that she could in that situation and she didn't make all the right decisions and she probably.
Shawn Ryan
Have you told her that?
Joe Peifer
Yeah, we've had that difficult conversation. You know, I've let her know how she wasn't there and didn't protect me the way she protected the girls.
Shawn Ryan
Have you told her that you hope that she's proud of herself?
Joe Peifer
Oh, 100. I've told her over and over she should be proud of herself. She still works every single day and goes out there and hustles while that dude sits on his back playing with his dick, acting like he, he's a cripple. But the second you give him something ego driven, he's on it. Guy doesn't have any physical ailments anymore, so, you know, she's probably gonna work till the day she dies, which sucks unless I have a chance to change that one day.
Shawn Ryan
What would you like to see for your mom?
Joe Peifer
I would like her to meet somebody and be happy. You know, I don't think there's anything worse than leaving this place without a significant other to hold hands with when you close your eyes for the last time. So I think it's a beautiful thing. And, you know, she kind of has a sour taste towards men. I think she's getting much better with it because of me. Because not all men are pieces of shit by a large margin, I think. You know, it's definitely hard to find a lot of really good men, but I would like to see her meet somebody and be happy and eat me. Or even if happiness doesn't include a significant other. I just want to see her happy and, you know, enjoy some things. I want her to go do some things. A lot of her life has been dealing with her daughter's troubles because they all have troubles. And I've tried to tell her, you can help how you can, but you're not obligated to. They need to figure it the fuck out. So I just hope she puts herself first sometimes. So that's my wish for her. Put yourself first sometimes. You're 58 years old, you know.
Shawn Ryan
Yep.
Joe Peifer
Your life shouldn't be fucking dealing with your kids problems.
Shawn Ryan
Joe, I know you got a flight to catch, so we're wrapping up the interview, but I got a just a couple of topics that I want to ask you about. One of them is we didn't get a chance to dive into it much, but you know, you were talking about ctd, traumatic brain injury. That's a lot of stuff that guys from my background deal with and I know that comes with, you know, with fighting, with striking football, with everything that you've experienced. And you said that, I think you said that you wanted to have kids in the future. Would you want your kid to fight? To fight?
Joe Peifer
No. It's not the right sport to make the most money. You can go play football, you can go play baseball. The pay grade is so much different. MMA is going to be on its way there, I hope in the future, but it'll probably be past my time or at the end of my time, but the pay grade is drastically different and I wouldn't want to see my kids like, this is a very brutal sport and when I say it's brutal, it's brutal. Fan base wise. These are relentless. They'll follow you the around for a year just to insult you.
Shawn Ryan
Are you serious? It's that bad?
Joe Peifer
Oh, yeah, I'll show you some. But yeah, they'll follow you around for a year and tell you you're a. You suck. Oh, you're a fraud. You lost my parlay. Like anything and everything. Salty Joe. Poopy pants Joe. Oh, you talked shit on Mexico. Yeah, I did. And it, when I stand behind it. So it is what it is. But yeah, I mean, yeah, no, I don't think I would want. It's. You don't make no money. You don't make no money. You're gonna fucking spend 20 years trying to be the best. And MMA is going to evolve so much by the time I'm done that it's going to be fucking impossible to get in. So I would rather see my kid go and fucking play MLB and make fucking millions or go play in the NFL and make fucking millions. And I mean, I'm a big sports guy, but yeah. So I don't think I would direct my kid. I would definitely want to teach my kid to defend himself and take no shit from nobody and he'll definitely learn to fight, but he won't learn to fight in an abusive fucking environment like I did. Cause then they'll resent you. They'll resent the sport. It's honestly that way with a lot of kids, even in just simple wrestling. So because the parents have tried to live through their fucking kids too much, and instead of just being proud of them and trying to push them, there's. There's a fine line between pushing and motivating and fucking breaking downing. What's the fucking word? Discouraging, you know, and you got to have some positive reinforcement behind what a child is doing, or else they don't want to fucking do it.
Shawn Ryan
Or if you looked into. If you looked into CT and TBI and shit like that. Is there any discussion about that in the fight community? About what you're. What you're in for when it's over? When these injuries.
Joe Peifer
No, I've kind of steered clear of it because I don't want to think about it. It's like me getting on a motorcycle and being like, well, you could fucking get smashed in the road. I don't fucking think about it. I do a good job protecting myself for the most part. But, yeah, I'm gonna have some form of CTE because of just the training it takes to get to a fight. That's where the real damage is. And, you know, I worry about it when I do think about it.
Shawn Ryan
Have you looked at psychedelics at all? Are you aware of what those are doing?
Joe Peifer
Like mushrooms.
Shawn Ryan
Mushrooms. Ibogaine. You haven't.
Joe Peifer
I've heard of mushrooms. And like, my teammate does them. One of my teammates does them, like microdoses and shit like that, but I haven't done it yet. I want to because I think it'll be helpful. But right now I know that my boys over at alp, they're protecting me against dementia, Alzheimer's and opening up a few neuropassages.
Shawn Ryan
Well, let me educate you a little bit, if you don't mind.
Joe Peifer
Yeah.
Shawn Ryan
So this came up on my radar. Cause a lot of, you know, a lot from explosions, getting blown up, breaching doors, falling out of hilos, whatever. You know, a lot of ct, a lot of traumatic brain injury. And so through my interviews, actually, this guy, D.J. shipley, who I just. I don't know why. I think you should connect with him. He's a fucking animal. But good friend of mine, Eddie Gallagher, brought it up. He was. I don't know if you know, he was a seal. He had brought up psychedelics. Caught my ear. Then I interviewed this Guy, Marcus Capone, former dev group guy, who started this. This nonprofit with his wife Amber, called vets, interviewed him, started researching all about psychedelics. And so at the time, Stanford was doing the study on ibogaine, and they were flying in guys that had verified TBIs, which, you know, if you look at it on the imagery, whatever, the. Whatever imagery they're using, it shows, like, these black spots in the brain. These guys would fly down there and, you know, they're forgetting shit. They're losing their tempers. They're, you know, it. It just changes you, man. It changes who you are, your temperament, your memory, all kinds, your mood, all kinds of stuff. And they fly these guys down to Mexico because it's illegal here, and they do ibogaine, and then they'd have a rest day and then they'd fly right back to Stanford in every. I think it was. We'll have to pull from the studies, but everyone that came back, the black spots were gone. Done. Brains totally lit up. Changes their life, changes our mood, cures addiction. Cure cures. I mean, I haven't drank in over three years now, and I didn't even go down there for that.
Joe Peifer
Basically.
Shawn Ryan
Basically what it does is it replenishes the receptors in your brain which take the cravings away. So it was like, you know, people congratulate me. Oh, congratulations on three years. So, dude, I didn't. It was like a light switch. I just didn't want it anymore. Came off. Adderall came off. Sleeping pills came off. I wasn't really doing any opiates at the time, but. But it cures it like that. And cures. Seems to cure tbi.
Joe Peifer
What is tbi?
Shawn Ryan
Traumatic brain injury.
Joe Peifer
Okay. Okay.
Shawn Ryan
So if you're getting kicked in the head.
Joe Peifer
Yeah.
Shawn Ryan
You're going to have TBIs.
Joe Peifer
Yeah, I've been hit. I've been hit where I've seen. I've never been knocked out, but I've been hit where I've lost, like, half vision. I've been hit where I see black spots. I've been hit where I've seen white flashes. So, you know, I may have been doing the sport for a long time. My dad dropped me when I was 12. I was still conscious, but I think I was, like, the first, like, real. I'm sure I've had concussions before that from getting stopped, but that was the first time I ever got hit and got dropped. But. But yeah, I'm definitely. I would love to talk to him for sure.
Shawn Ryan
Well, this is the key.
Joe Peifer
Yeah.
Shawn Ryan
Giving you the key for Your future health is wealth. Yep.
Joe Peifer
So if you don't value your body, you're probably a fucking turd. Yeah.
Shawn Ryan
One more question. Looking back, what would you tell your 10 year old self?
Joe Peifer
Hold on, the ride's about to get wild. Just hold on. Just have faith. Hold on. Don't quit. Life is precious. Life is beautiful. Depending on the perspective you choose to see it through, what lens you choose to see it through. And then there's a really ugly, dark, evil side to it. And that's why it's super important to people, the company you keep. And there's always good that you can find. There's always evil that you can find. Both exist. Good is losing. But, you know, try to keep it as calm and quiet as you can. Value being in your own home and doing the simple things in life. But hold on, man. Hold on. Don't let go. And don't let anybody discourage you from any idea you have. Go out there and try it. And if it don't work, try the next thing. Just keep fucking trying. Keep trying. Keep trying. Keep trying. It's like water in a fucking crack. You'll find a way to break through and make sure you have something higher than yourself to pray to. And that being God, I don't think there's any other thing that you should pray to other than God. So he's the one for all of us. I think that's how I'll choose to live my life. And yeah. Hold on, brother.
Shawn Ryan
Good for you, man.
Joe Peifer
Thank you.
Shawn Ryan
Well, Joe, it was an honor to interview you, man.
Joe Peifer
Thank you.
Shawn Ryan
It really is. And I know this is gonna help a ton of people. So thank you for being open.
Joe Peifer
Yes. Thank you for having me on. And thank you for this milestone in my life. I can honestly say until this past week, never ever in the fucking million years would I have thought I was gonna be able to sit here and talk to you. You.
Shawn Ryan
That's pretty.
Joe Peifer
And I've been watching this for a while.
Shawn Ryan
Well, it's my honor.
Joe Peifer
Thank you.
Shawn Ryan
Thank you.
Joe Peifer
Thanks. Jim Rome takes on sports. Why? Because you're not playing me with rapid fire.
Shawn Ryan
Takes and a lot to get to. And I might not sure you're gonna like all of it. Honestly, I don't even care if you like all of it or not. I have a job to do. Scorching debates on any given week. You have lots to beef about, take advantage of. But get up in here.
Joe Peifer
He's the spitfire of sports smack. She's not my fault.
Shawn Ryan
We will get to all of that.
Joe Peifer
The Jim Rome show podcast.
Shawn Ryan
Get up in here and we'll beef later on. What's your beef?
Joe Peifer
Follow and listen on your favorite platform.
Shawn Ryan
You've been warned.
Shawn Ryan Show Episode #221: Joe Peifer - UFC 17-Sec KO Secrets, Meeting Mike Tyson and Terrifying Childhood Stories
Release Date: July 24, 2025
In this powerful episode, Shawn Ryan welcomes Joe Peifer, a UFC middleweight contender, to discuss his remarkable journey from a traumatic childhood to the pinnacle of mixed martial arts (MMA).
Shawn Ryan emphasizes the significance of Joe's story:
"[00:12] Shawn Ryan: ...many kids go through some type of abuse... and to bring somebody like you on, ... it brings so much hope to other children that are going through that, and it proves to them that there's a way out of that."
A pivotal moment in the conversation revolves around Joe's stance on being labeled a "role model."
Shawn Ryan challenges Joe's reluctance:
"[03:29] Shawn Ryan: ...I just wanted to ask you why you reject that label? ...you are a phenomenal athlete... a role model for kids."
Joe Peifer responds thoughtfully, explaining his discomfort with the title due to his imperfections and the responsibility it entails:
"[04:28] Joe Peifer: I think I reject the title role model for a couple things... just being fit as an inspiration is the safest way for me..."
Shawn acknowledges Joe's impact despite his reservations:
"[06:03] Shawn Ryan: ...being a role model... people look up to that. ...you are a great person."
Joe delves deep into his upbringing, recounting the severe abuse he and his siblings endured at the hands of their father.
Joe Peifer shares harrowing memories:
"[24:29] Joe Peifer: ...I started getting beat at a year old... bruises all over me... child services in and out of our life all throughout my childhood."
The abuse extended beyond physical harm to emotional manipulation and control, severely impacting Joe's self-esteem and relationships with his family:
"[30:30] Joe Peifer: ...he disrupted their insight as to family having their back... we were little slaves to him."
Despite the darkness of his early life, Joe highlights the positive influences that helped him persevere.
Joe Peifer recalls fond memories with his grandfather and the solace he found in activities like fishing:
"[30:41] Joe Peifer: ...won a couple of tournaments... went to the beach... played video games... fishing with my grandfather."
A turning point came through mentorship and support from figures like Will Harmon, his wrestling coach, who believed in Joe's potential:
"[108:07] Joe Peifer: My coaches... Sam Orpiza and Will Harmon combined have been a savior for me."
Joe's path to the UFC was marked by determination and resilience, despite significant setbacks.
After a promising start in amateur fights, Joe faced a devastating loss in the Contender Series, breaking his elbow and spiraling into depression:
"[146:11] Shawn Ryan: ...how do you combat the voices in your head... and hoping you would die... How do you keep those voices from entering your head..."
"[148:33] Joe Peifer: ...being in the present moment... balancing past struggles with current success."
With the unwavering support of his coaches and a renewed focus, Joe fought back, securing victories that led to his UFC contract, even amidst personal turmoil:
"[160:55] Joe Peifer: ...fought against a former UFC fighter... knocked him out... screamed at Dana White."
A significant part of Joe's journey involves mending his relationship with his mother and redefining his understanding of family.
Joe Peifer describes the challenges and gradual healing process:
"[125:55] Shawn Ryan: Do you want to reconcile with him?"
"[125:56] Joe Peifer: No, there's nothing to reconcile... I know what he is."
His reconnection with his mother brought both joy and lingering pain from lost years:
"[127:40] Shawn Ryan: Do you want to reconcile with him?"
"[127:43] Joe Peifer: ...a year ago, it's been the most rewarding, too."
Towards the end of the episode, Joe shares heartfelt advice for listeners facing similar struggles.
Joe Peifer encourages speaking up and channeling negative energy into positive endeavors:
"[147:00] Joe Peifer: Speak up. Speak up. Talk to somebody. ... put that anger and energy into a sport."
He emphasizes the importance of resilience and focusing on one's own growth:
"[153:19] Joe Peifer: ...being in the present moment... living in the now versus looking in the past."
As the episode concludes, Joe reflects on his journey, expressing gratitude for the support systems that have shaped his path and reaffirming his commitment to personal excellence and healthy relationships.
Joe Peifer sums up his evolution:
"[222:30] Joe Peifer: ...hold on, man. Hold on. Don't let go. ... don't let anybody discourage you from any idea you have."
Shawn Ryan acknowledges Joe's transformation and the impact of his story:
"[224:09] Joe Peifer: ...this is my platform to tell it. Thanks to guys like you, I get to do it."
Shawn Ryan at 00:12:
"How many kids go through some type of abuse... and to bring somebody like you on... it brings so much hope to other children..."
Joe Peifer at 04:28:
"I'm just a guy that is passionate about what he does and wants to reach the highest level... I can be an inspiration."
Joe Peifer at 24:29:
"I started getting beat at a year old... child services in and out of our life all throughout my childhood."
Joe Peifer at 147:00:
"Speak up. Speak up. Talk to somebody... put that anger and energy into a sport."
Joe Peifer at 153:19:
"Being in the present moment... living in the now versus looking in the past."
This episode of the Shawn Ryan Show offers a raw and unfiltered look into Joe Peifer's life, showcasing his ability to overcome extreme adversity and emerge as a beacon of hope and resilience in the MMA community. Joe's candid discussions about abuse, personal struggles, and triumphs provide invaluable insights for listeners facing their own battles, reinforcing the message that it is possible to break free from the chains of a troubled past and forge a path towards success and healing.
Note: All timestamps correspond to the provided transcript and reflect the moments from the episode.