Podcast
She Lost It
Hosted by Stefani Scotch · EN
Welcome to She Lost It, the podcast for anyone ready to let go of what’s been weighing them down and step into a life they truly love. I’m Stefani—an accidental health coach, entrepreneur, mom, and someone who knows what it’s like to lose it all, start over, and come out stronger.
In this first episode, I’m sharing my story—the raw, real, and sometimes messy truth about how I went from drowning in anxiety, debt, food addiction, and people-pleasing to finally taking control of my life. But this podcast isn’t just about my journey—it’s about yours.
Each episode, I’ll share practical tips to help you break free from the patterns holding you back, whether it’s your mindset, your habits, or the stories you’ve been telling yourself. We’ll talk about what it takes to build grit, find your voice, and create a life that feels truly authentic.
Think of this as a conversation between friends—the kind where you leave feeling lighter, inspired, and ready to take action. So if you’re ready to lose what’s been keeping you stuck and gain a whole new perspective, hit play. Let’s do this together.
11episodes
Episodes
Newest firstAll episodes
Club Fed Wisdom And The Best Prison Line
Mar 1400:11:28Tap to summarizeSend a textFifteen minutes. That’s all my mom got on the phone from federal prison, and reading what she wrote about those calls hit me in a way I didn’t expect. I remember being 11 and trying to sound “fine” so I didn’t make things harder for her. On the page, she hears the crack in my voice, tells me it’s OK to cry, and admits the one thing every parent wants: to hold their child and make the pain go away. If you’ve ever swallowed your feelings to protect someone you love, this one will sit with you.I also share the journal entry that stopped me cold: learning my mom self-surrendered in 1993, and that her brother went with her. His reaction brings them both back to childhood trauma, and it pulls me into a truth that feels healing and hard at the same time. Our parents weren’t just our parents. They were kids once too, shaped by experiences long before we entered the picture. Seeing that doesn’t excuse everything, but it can change the way we understand family stories, generational trauma, forgiveness, and why people do what they do.The journal is full of mental toughness, faith, and surprising humor, including my favorite line of all time: “This isn’t club med. This is club fed.” We talk perspective, gratitude, and the reminder that prison doesn’t always have bars. Sometimes it looks like a toxic relationship, addiction, a job that slowly kills your spirit, or a mindset that insists you’re not enough. The biggest takeaway I’m holding onto: your circumstances don’t define your growth, and your past may explain you, but it does not get to define you.If this landed with you, subscribe, share it with someone who needs hope today, and leave a quick review so more people can find the show.
Transcribe →Breaking Free from Learned Helplessness
Sep 2500:11:18Tap to summarizeSend a textHave you ever felt completely stuck despite having obvious solutions right in front of you? That paralyzing sense of "why even try?" might not be who you truly are—it could be learned helplessness, a psychological condition that's become a silent epidemic.Learned helplessness sneaks into every corner of our lives. It's what makes you give up on healthy eating after multiple failed diets, convinces you that toxic relationships are all you deserve, or stops you from applying for jobs after too many rejections. But the most dangerous part? We don't recognize it happening. Our brains, designed for survival, interpret patterns of disappointment as evidence that effort is pointless. Soon, this conditioning becomes our identity.This episode dives deep into what I call the "figure-out-ability factor"—the critical skill of solving your own problems rather than waiting for rescue. I share a revealing story about refusing to be someone's human alarm clock and why true growth happens when we stop enabling helplessness in ourselves and others. The science of neuroplasticity offers hope: if helplessness can be learned, power can be learned too. Through awareness, small wins, environmental shifts, and interrupting negative thought patterns, you can literally rewire your brain from helplessness to possibility.Ready for a breakthrough? My challenge to you is simple but powerful: identify where learned helplessness operates in your life, then take ONE small action today. Don't overthink it—set the alarm, drink the water, have the hard conversation, or just Google the answer instead of asking someone else. Prove to yourself that you are not powerless. Because helplessness may be learned, but so is freedom—and it's time you claimed yours. Share this episode with someone who needs this message, and let me know what small win you're claiming today!
Transcribe →Growing Through Resistance: Why Most People Quit Right Before the Breakthrough
Aug 2300:06:58Tap to summarizeSend a textEver find yourself on the verge of quitting right when you're about to breakthrough? That's exactly where I found myself recently, walking through rain—both literally and figuratively—while wrestling with personal struggles and professional milestones simultaneously.The hardest truth I've learned is that resistance isn't telling us to stop—it's actually our compass pointing toward growth. When my world felt like it was falling apart while reaching a business milestone I'd worked toward for years, I had to make a choice: let circumstances break me or let them transform me. On that rain-soaked walk, nothing around me changed, but everything within me shifted.Through this experience, I've discovered three powerful strategies for pushing through resistance that I'm sharing with you today. First, reframe resistance as a sign you're on the right track rather than a signal to retreat. Second, commit to doing the small, hard things anyway—those uncomfortable actions build your capacity rep by rep. Finally, anchor yourself in faith and vision, remembering that even messy steps count toward your growth. The only people who don't reach their breakthrough are those who quit in the middle, letting their ego convince them that avoiding disappointment is safer than embracing discomfort.What resistance are you facing right now? What breakthrough are you chasing? Take a screenshot of this episode, tag me, and let me know—because naming it is the first step to moving through it. Your comfort zone will lie to you, but the life you want is waiting on the other side of resistance. Stop quitting on yourself before it gets good.
Transcribe →The Prison Journal Ep 2: "The Strip Search and Opal"
Jul 1000:15:04Tap to summarizeSend a textThe moment I opened my mother's handwritten prison journal from 1993, I knew this wasn't just about uncovering her story – it was about breaking generational chains of shame that keep us all silent.Reading her perfect cursive now as a 43-year-old mother myself feels wildly different than anything my 11-year-old self could have processed when it was happening in real time. Her words leap off the page like she's sitting across from me, coffee in hand, catching me up on everything I missed. What's uncanny is how the dates in her journal – June and July 1993 – align perfectly with our calendar today, 32 years later to the day.Through her eyes, I'm witnessing not just her experience at Mariana Women's Federal Prison Camp, but the stories of forgotten women like Opal, a grandmother who received a 54-month sentence for a first-time offense while men sentenced before her for attempted murder got mere probation. My mother's descriptions capture both the dehumanizing aspects of incarceration and the beautiful ways women showed up for each other – sharing toiletries, finding humor in brown uniforms and orthopedic shoes, discovering discarded tennis shoes in trash cans, and building community when everything else was taken away.This mini-series isn't about redemption stories with neat endings. It's about exposing what still needs change in our justice system, giving voice to the voiceless, and creating space for your story too. Because the question remains: who is hurting because you're hiding, and what secrets are keeping you sick? We don't heal in hiding around here. So whether you're carrying something that was never yours or a chapter you've been too scared to open, let this be your invitation to finally break free.
Transcribe →Unpacking My Mother's Prison Diary: The Journal, Ep.1
Jun 1800:08:31Tap to summarizeSend a textWhat happens when you finally open the box you've been dragging for 19 years? That's exactly what I explore in this deeply personal episode as I reveal a family secret I've held close for decades—my mother's prison journal.When I was just eleven years old, my world changed forever as my mother was sentenced to federal prison for embezzling money from a Birmingham coal company. That day in the courtroom remains crystal clear: the judge's bench, the discussion about shackling, the crushing weight of confusion and fear. Weekend drives to see her at Marianna Federal Prison. The smell of popcorn in the visiting room. The crocheted bears she mailed home. And beneath it all, the suffocating silence of shame I carried, terrified my private Christian school friends would discover my family's dark truth.For nearly two decades since her passing, I've carried her prison writings from apartment to apartment, city to city—a manila folder filled with loose-leaf pages of her raw, honest reflections. Something recently shifted, compelling me to finally peel back these layers of generational trauma. I'm only three days into transcribing her words and already it's both wrecking and healing me simultaneously. Her humor, faith, and humanity shine through experiences ranging from cafeteria shoes pulled from trash cans to spiritual breakthroughs beside prison bunk beds.This mini-series isn't about drama or backstory—it's about breaking cycles of silence and shame that perhaps you recognize in your own life. Maybe you're carrying your own version of boxed-up trauma, thinking if you just keep moving, you'll never have to open it. But those unopened chapters wait for us, and I'm discovering they don't always destroy us—sometimes they set us free. Join me page by page, truth by truth, as we explore how family secrets shape us and how confronting them might be our path to healing. If you're holding something heavy, perhaps this is your sign to open it too.
Transcribe →The Reel That Triggered the Internet (and Set Me Free): Pro tips on Projection
Jun 500:11:26Tap to summarizeSend a textHave you ever dimmed your light because someone else couldn't handle your shine? In this raw, powerful episode, I'm taking you behind the scenes of what happened when my celebratory weight loss reel went viral – and not always in the kindest corners of the internet.When the comments started flooding in, some supportive but many cruel, I discovered something fascinating: the version of me from five years ago would have crumbled, deleted the post, and apologized for taking up space. But the woman I am today? She stood tall, unfazed, and even more determined to shine. That transformation isn't just about confidence – it's about understanding the psychology of projection and finally freeing yourself from the exhausting work of managing other people's discomfort with your growth.I'm sharing the hard-won lessons that changed everything for me: why you must stop shrinking yourself to fit inside someone else's comfort zone, how to recognize when someone's reaction has nothing to do with you, and why "let them" (inspired by Mel Robbins) might become your new power mantra. Through my own story of being silenced for years after being called a narcissist for speaking up, you'll see how healing doesn't mean you stop triggering people – it means you're finally okay when you do.Whether you're healing your relationship with your body, your voice, or your right to exist unapologetically, this episode is your permission slip to take up space. Your truth, your growth, and your joy are not up for debate. Tag me and let me know what this episode unlocked for you, and share it with anyone who needs to hear that their light isn't meant to be dimmed.
Transcribe →Confessions of a Chronic People-Pleaser: The Exhausting Art of Shapeshifting
May 2900:08:16Tap to summarizeSend a textThe constant pressure to adjust who we are for the comfort of others is a silent drain on our authenticity and energy. In this raw and vulnerable episode, I take you on a deeply personal journey through my own pattern of shapeshifting – that exhausting habit of becoming whoever the room needs me to be.This pattern didn't emerge in adulthood. It took root in my childhood as an only child in a sometimes chaotic home, where I learned to read rooms, anticipate needs, and make myself smaller for survival. What looked like maturity was actually a sophisticated performance that would take me 42 years to recognize. The wake-up call came unexpectedly through a simple photo of calm waters taken on a cruise ship balcony – a rare moment when I wasn't performing for anyone, just existing as myself.When we stop shapeshifting and honor our true nature, everything changes. I discovered that needing alone time doesn't make me antisocial, and craving space doesn't mean I don't value connection. Two seemingly contradictory truths can coexist within us. The real transformation happens when we stop apologizing for our authentic needs and recognize that we don't need to earn stillness or explain our existence. You don't need to shrink to belong. You don't need to perform to be safe. You already belong to yourself.What version of stillness brings you back home to yourself? Where are you still shapeshifting in your life? What parts of you are you muting? This isn't about reinventing your life overnight – it's about honesty. If you've ever felt like the version of you that received the most praise wasn't the real you, you're not alone. Share this message with someone who needs to hear it. We need more people showing up as they truly are, not as watered-down versions designed to keep others comfortable.
Transcribe →They Called You Higher..and You Got Mad.
May 2200:06:27Tap to summarizeSend a textHave you ever felt that immediate defensive reaction when someone suggests you're capable of more? That instant tightening in your chest, the flood of justifications, the urge to prove why you're doing enough already? You're not alone.In this deeply personal episode, I share a transformative moment when someone I respect looked me in the eye and told me I was playing small. My immediate reaction? Pure defensiveness. But what followed was a profound realization that changed everything: what I perceived as an attack was actually the purest form of love - someone fighting FOR me, not against me.We dive into why we often misinterpret growth challenges as personal criticism, exploring the psychology behind our defensiveness when called higher. I offer a game-changing question that completely shifted my perspective: "Am I offended because they're wrong, or because they're right and I'm scared to rise?" Along with four practical tools for transforming your response to challenging feedback, you'll discover how to recognize the difference between harmful criticism and loving confrontation.This conversation is for anyone who's ever felt stuck between comfort and growth, for those wondering why feedback feels so threatening, and especially for those ready to recognize that sometimes, the most uncomfortable truths come from the people who see your greatest potential. Ready to stop mistaking love for attack? Your growth is waiting on the other side of this misunderstanding. Share your thoughts after listening - I'd love to hear how this resonates with your own journey toward embracing the uncomfortable call to greatness.
Transcribe →The Power Of Your Word: How Trust is Built (or Broken)
May 1500:09:28Tap to summarizeSend a textEver had that gut feeling when someone says "I promise" that they won't follow through? Or maybe you're the one who means well but consistently falls short on your commitments? This raw, honest conversation digs into the true cost of broken promises and why your word matters more than you might realize.Trust isn't just broken by dramatic betrayals—it's eroded by a pattern of small, unfulfilled promises that silently communicate to others that your words can't be relied upon. For those with existing trust issues, these broken commitments don't just disappoint; they confirm deeply-held fears about people being unsafe. But this isn't about perfection—it's about honesty and integrity in both big and small moments.We explore both sides of this trust equation: why we break promises (often from people-pleasing or avoidance), how to protect your peace when others consistently let you down, and practical steps to rebuild trust if you've been that person who struggles to follow through. Learn four powerful strategies to stop personalizing others' inconsistency, enforce healthy boundaries, adjust expectations, and reclaim your power in relationships where trust has been compromised.Whether you're working to trust again after being hurt or trying to become someone whose word carries weight, this episode offers a judgment-free roadmap to rebuilding integrity—with others and yourself. Because in a world of empty words, consistent action is what truly earns trust. Start today with one promise kept, one follow-through at a time. Your relationships—and your relationship with yourself—will thank you.
Transcribe →Breaking the Comparison Trap: How To Stop Decorating Your Ditch
May 8, 202500:07:16Tap to summarizeSend a textEver found yourself in a comparison spiral that left you feeling totally paralyzed? You're scrolling through social media when suddenly you're questioning everything about your life, wondering why everyone else seems to have it all figured out while you're struggling just to keep up. That's exactly where I found myself this week, and it almost took me out completely.But here's the truth bomb I discovered: comparison can either be the thief of your confidence or the fuel for your growth—and you get to decide which one. In this deeply personal episode, I'm pulling back the curtain on how comparison has shown up in my own life and sharing the exact mindset shifts that helped me flip those feelings of inadequacy into motivation. You'll hear the fascinating story of how Sarah Blakely, founder of Spanx, chose to put on her "comparison blinders" while selling fax machines door-to-door and ended up creating a billion-dollar company. Not because she had special connections or advantages, but because she stayed focused on solving a problem instead of measuring herself against established players in the industry.I'm also breaking down my game-changing 1% Better Rule—the simple daily practice that creates momentum when you're feeling stuck. Whether it's moving your body for ten minutes, replacing negative self-talk with compassion, or tackling that one task you've been avoiding, these small wins create powerful ripples in your life. Plus, we'll do a gut-check on whether you're "decorating your ditch"—making excuses comfortable instead of climbing out—and how to shift from living in fear to living in faith. You don't need their path, you need your pace. You don't need their approval, you need your own belief. And most importantly, you don't need to keep scrolling—you just need to start. Follow the show and leave a review if this resonated with you, and remember: you're doing better than you think just by being here and wanting more for your life.
Transcribe →