← Shed and Shine
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- [00:00]
A
You know, in my outer world, things look very organized and tidied up, but inside, you know, what I've learned now in this last five years is being human is messy.
- [00:27]
B
Hello, everyone. My name is Rob Dube, and I am here with Gino Wickman. Gino, good to see you.
- [00:34]
A
Good to see you as well, my friend.
- [00:36]
B
We're at the coffee shop.
- [00:37]
A
We're at the coffee shop.
- [00:39]
B
What do you have to say about that?
- [00:40]
A
Well, here's what I have to say about that. The same frickin thing I say every time we do a coffee shop conversation, and that is reminding our audience what the hell this thing is we're about to do. And so what this is is for years and hours, Rob and I have sat in a coffee shop couple times a year, probably 20 years plus now, and we just have these amazing conversations. We're in there for a half a day or more, and we just talk about everything and anything that comes up. And so that has found its way into our podcast, and that's what we're about to do today. The audience is listening in on our coffee shop conversation. The way it works is one of us picks the first topic and then we alternate. We usually get through only about two topics, but nonetheless, today is your day to pick first, and so the floor is yours.
- [01:31]
B
Okay, first, I always have a list that I think about before, and I don't know why I do it because, like, 10 minutes before I change my mind and come up with something completely different. And so what I want to ask you today is, what do you want out of life at this point in your life?
- [01:50]
A
What the.
- [01:51]
B
What, do you have anything easier? Rob, do we have to start there?
- [01:56]
A
Oh, man. What do I want out of life? Now, the good news is we're asking each other this question. I'm going to go first, but I trust you're going to answer the question as well.
- [02:08]
B
I'm not.
- [02:09]
A
And I'm stalling because I really want to think about this. All right, so you got to give me a second here.
- [02:15]
B
Take your time.
- [02:16]
A
I'm not feeling very spontaneous today, but I do have an answer. I want to be a great grandpa, or papa, as I'm called. So I have three grandchildren. Love them to death. They're a blast. And so that comes to the top of the list. I want to be a great husband. I want to be the absolute best version of myself for everyone. And right now, what's going on for me, there is this another level. And I shared this in a previous episode of Just this Another Level of depth in terms of honesty and authenticity. I just like words, can't even describe it. But again, that's all within being the best version of myself and the most authentic version of myself for everyone in my life, whatever that means and whatever the pros and cons are of that. And then the last thing that comes to mind, and then I look forward to your probable digging into all of this, is that overriding number and I don't know why it keeps coming to me of 70 million. I want to impact 70 million people. I don't think it comes from ego. I don't know how it happens. It's just a number that keeps coming up and that's what I want to do.
- [03:55]
B
And B, what is messy in your life?
- [03:58]
A
Messy? Everything. Everything. You know, in my outer world, things look very organized and tidied up and they are. But inside, you know, what I've learned now in this last five years is being human is messy. Life is messy. I strived for 52 years for perfection and made myself crazy and angry and tense and imperfection just doesn't exist. And so I'm all done striving for perfection. And I just want to live and be and have peace. And that is messy. And so relationships are messy and imperfect. That's personal relationship, that's family, friends, business, all types of relationships. My mind can be messy, you know, so one day that I'm feeling very strongly about something, the next day I don't. And so I'm realizing is that there are all of these amazing, wonderful contradictions in life and every day is not the same. And one day we're feeling this way and one day we're feeling that way. And that's the beauty of life, is just to not get caught up and attached to those many thoughts and feelings and emotions and just kind of observe them. So I'll stop there and hopefully that was somewhat clear.
- [05:38]
B
I think it was very clear and I love that. So what's transpired for you? Like how far along in the non mess, in the non perfection category are you?
- [05:53]
A
I mean there's still a little bit in there. I would say it is substantially different and better, you know, so I mean like I, I'm, I love putting percentages on things. It's a wild ass guess but you know, I would say like I'm 80% at peace with it and there's still 20% that I wrestle with.
- [06:12]
B
What about in business for you? Like where does perfection show up there? And you know, how, how have you been able to let Go there?
- [06:20]
A
Yeah, I think business is closer to like 90 to 95% there. So that is substantially better. It's my personal life, all aspects of my personal life that it's 80, 20. So what's crazy is the business side of things is substantially more progressed.
- [06:37]
B
Yeah. Interesting. You know, for me, I just hope I can be perfect someday.
- [06:46]
A
Well, good luck with that. I think I came up with my topic when it's my turn to pick a diagonal.
- [06:53]
B
Honestly, I just want to be free. And that means to me, finding the peace that's already right smack in front of me and I can't see it enough. At least I know now that it is right there. It's just right there. And I know that something's in the way, which is my, my ego, it's my conscious mind. And I just want to be free because I think once I'm free that everything else will fall into place exactly as it should. And so I even think about, like, what do I want to be doing with my time? And I have my days where I'm like super clear, I know exactly the path. And then there's days where I'm like, who knows? Do what you're doing now. Do the best you could do with that now, and. And who knows what it'll be then and be okay with that. Let things fall as they may. I was thinking a little bit about just my business career and it makes no sense, none of it. Like, when you think about it, it's hilarious.
- [08:04]
A
That's so good.
- [08:05]
B
You know, and it was like I was trying to control the whole thing the whole time, but nothing I tried to control actually happened. But all the other things that happened, you know, we're really great.
- [08:15]
A
Well, there's the mind. Okay. Dual universe. If you go back in time, you know, would anything be any different if you would have just let go 20 years ago, you know, and there's probably a really good chance that it's all would have been the exact same thing. And we. The anguish we caused ourselves, trying to control it all when it was all just going to kind of happen and we just need to get out of the way and just kind of facilitate it, you know?
- [08:35]
B
Yeah. And I always feel like I should answer, what's messy? You know, I always feel like for me in my life, anything that's been messy, I've been very fortunate, like really fortunate with my wife and my kids. We've always had non messy lives. It just. I just feel so grateful. I've had some messiness outside of that with My family, so. But it's not as messy as it used to be. It's actually cleaned up a lot through a lot of, you know, work and. But business has always felt messy to me. Always. And so, you know, that's where I always feel like, gosh, still feels messy. And then that's where I question, like, okay, now you realize that these days, what are you going to do about it? Do you want to stay in the mess? Do you want to go? Is. Is life, as you said, is part of the mess. You know, business has taught me a lot about being as a human. You know, it's. It is messy. It is. There are days, you know, my grandmother, I called her Meme. She used to always. I'd say, how are you? And she'd say, good days, bad days. And I would go, why do you say that? Why do you say good days, bad days? I, like, felt bad for her, and now I get it. It's like, yeah, some days are good, some days aren't so good. You know, that's all she was saying. Such wisdom in there.
- [09:55]
A
It's just a thought on the messiness, you know, so what's different for me, again, I gave the percentages, is that the messiness. I'm just not as attached to the messiness. And that's where the anguish came from, is rid every wave. Being attached to every mess, my identity being attached to every mess. And so to. To be able to float above that and just kind of observe it, experience it, and learn from it. That's the other big thing, is there's a lesson in all of it and just keep learning from it and just keep, you know, floating forward. Yeah, it's a quantum leap. Still work in progress, I think.
- [10:31]
B
Yeah. To me, that actually is such great wisdom because it's just stuff happening, you know, I. When I think about business, even within my personal life, too, you know, when something doesn't go a particular way, you know, I just try to think to myself, is this just stuff? Like, I mean, seriously, is it that serious? You know, I know some things have greater. I don't want to make light of everything, but, yeah, I think when you can ebb and flow and just realize that that's the way life is, and it is always a chance for a lesson, even the good and bad things.
- [11:05]
A
You'Re here, you know, and with that, you know, there still are problems. There's still, you know, I get emotional. You know, I yelled for the first time in business. And I don't know how many years you witnessed it with, with the deal we almost did with 10 disciplines, it was very emotional, but I was so proud of how honest I was through that whole process. So I just, I truly felt like I was at my absolute best in that experience and my boundaries were clear anyway. My authenticity was clear. So for what that's worth, that was as real as it gets for me, you know?
- [11:39]
B
Yeah. Yeah, it's good. All right, what else you got?
- [11:43]
A
My turn. All right, so this one is just as heavy as that topic. Okay, so what do I want out of life? This topic is about taking naps. So watch the root of this topic.
- [12:04]
B
Yes.
- [12:05]
A
So taking naps. So in our SHINE meeting, again, I think you, most of you know, out there, I hold a Shine meeting for just 25 people and you know, 8 to 12, 6 to 12 show up. And so it's just a fun little experiment that I'm doing and it's very fun and we just focus on all the content and Shine and we just have great conversation. And so the topic of naps came up in that meeting. We're talking about all this deep stuff, you know, 10 days, all that. So anyway, so naps come up. Okay. And so it's. You just have to chuckle at what a trite topic that would be. Right? It was the hottest topic of the meeting. And so there were eight, I think eight of us. So these are eight driven entrepreneurs. Okay. And I'm going to try to get all the psychology out around this as well as the meat and potatoes. And as we got into the topic, and it was one of the other attendees that brought up the topic, as we got into it, the first thing I shared was John F. Kennedy took a nap every single day. The President of our United States took a nap every single day running our country. And then I also brought up this point that hit me about power naps. I love the insecurity and the ego around the term power nap because people are so embarrassed to say they take a nap, that it's a power nap. It's not a nap, it's a power nap. So. So I just. That's comical to me. But I like you would not believe the energy around this topic. And like 6 out of 8 take naps and the recharging of the batteries and the energy. But. But with that, most of them either did want to, they didn't take it. But it was this permission. You could see bubbling. The topic was a 15 minute topic. You could see the permission bubbling to the surface because for me, couple things, I take a nap every Sunday. And it is the greatest fucking thing on the planet. Like I'd look forward to my nap somewhere between 2 and 4 o'. Clock. It completely recharges me. It like resets me for the whole week. I get giddy about that. I remember back in my 20s, I don't know why this was, but when I was selling real estate back in my 20s, I would go take a nap in the afternoon. I don't know if like I was partying too hard back then or what it was, but I'd go find a parking lot, I would take a nap in my car for 20 minutes and come back so recharged for the second half of the day. And in those days I was working until, you know, six, seven, eight o' clock at night. And then there are times now where I will take a nap. If I'm in my home office, all of a sudden, 2, 3, 4 o' clock's open. I take this little 20 minute nap and it just totally recharges my battery. And so as we're going around the table and everybody's sharing, it was the one person that brought it up that he really wants to start taking naps. And he's so embarrassed to do it, he's afraid to do it. He feels like people are gonna judge him. And so then we got to this place of we're laughing because just imagine if everyone understood the power of a nap if you need one. Not everybody needs a nap. And so I'm dying to hear your take on this. And if you do it, because with your energy, I'm assuming you don't. So I can't wait to hear the answer. But where we got to is this place. Imagine if people understood the benefit of a nap for those that need a nap. And all of a sudden it becomes so comfortable and commonplace that somebody calls into the business at 2:30 for John and the answer is he's taking his nap right now. He'll call you back when he wakes up. I mean, how great would that be? But what that nap does for that person in terms of the energy. And I know what it does for me, it's so powerful. And so all that said, coming into the home stretch. So then I get a text like three days after the meeting and one of them says, you know, I took a nap in my. Because he has a business partner, his business partner has a couch in his office and he doesn't. So he sends me a text. I took a nap, you know, in Blank's office today. It was so fricking awesome. So it was so funny. So good. So anyway, so naps, tell me what, you know, experience.
- [16:07]
B
Well, first of all, I learned about it being okay to take a nap in the middle of the day from actually Howard Stern because he would always talk about the nap he took. And so I always said, wow, like he's uber successful in his craft. And he was like, that nap, he would be talking about that nap and he was like. And they interrupted me during my nap. You know, there'd be all these like things that he would say over time. So then that's when I was like, you know, maybe naps can be really useful. You know, you mentioned how great would it be if you called this company at 2 o' clock or whatever time? I think in Italy, for example, maybe other parts of Europe, Mexico, they do siesta.
- [16:48]
A
Yeah.
- [16:49]
B
Yeah. And you know, I've seen some documentaries on that and been very intrigued by that because I think there's a balance in life that they bring that maybe we don't have so much here in America all the time. As far as me taking naps, I so badly want to be a person that takes a nap. And I have tried it, but I'm groggy. And so then people say, well, you're sleeping too long. But I've tried the different times and it still doesn't work. Sometimes a shorter nap feels like I feel okay, but then next time I don't. So I've definitely tried it. So. But my version of what kind of re. Energizes me is I gave myself permission to, to take about 90 minutes in the middle of the day or around lunchtime and have a little bit of lunch and then go for a walk and get outside into nature. And that has really helped me. Yeah, so that's my version of it. But yeah, that's. That's hilarious.
- [17:49]
A
Yeah. And here, here's what comes to mind in closing on this topic is so for those of you out there that we've pinged your soul and you're a napper, start taking naps and report back to us. Okay? We're going to start a movement that it's acceptable for those of us that need to recharge. And by my scientific study of eight driven entrepreneurs, six out of eight, so 75% of the entre of the driven people need naps. Anyways, I'm making stuff up there. But with that said, one last thing. New topic very quickly. This is our hundred and first episode. The hundredth episode before this was me doing a riff and knowing me, I probably would not celebrate that or say anything. So we've cracked 100 episodes. So face to face with you, I want to celebrate that, congratulate you on that and us on that and who would have thunk it?
- [18:40]
B
Yeah. And thank you for listening to all these episodes. It's been growing and it's remarkable actually. And it's one of the favorite things I know I feel honored to be able to do it and honored to be able to do it with you. So thank you, my friend.
- [18:52]
A
Right back at you, brother.
- [18:54]
B
All right, everybody. Thanks as always for joining us and we'll see you next time. And as always, stay focused and much love.
- [19:03]
A
Thank you for listening in today. We truly appreciate you taking the time to spend with us and please tune in for the next episode. Until then, we wish you all the best in freeing your true self. Stay focused and much love.