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Hello and welcome back. This episode I call Get Ready Death and Dying. We are going to dive into and understand the topic of death and dying. Now I know that sounds like a very morbid topic and why on earth would we have this conversation? But what I personally believe is that we have to talk about death and dying. Talking about it frees us. It's such a taboo topic. And now what's important to understand is this is coming from a guy who believes not only should we be talking about death and dying with each other, we should also be talking about money, religion, politics. When you sit and have a conversation with open minded, loving people about money, death, politics, religion, it is the most incredible conversation because you're hearing so many amazing perspectives on things. And all I'm going to do is share a few perspectives on the subject of death and dying and really hope to get your gears turning on this subject because it is so powerful. But the timing and the reason I'm bringing this up now is because my mom passed about a month ago over the holidays. And I'm not going to get specific on her passing, but you know, she was in pain for three years and she was so ready to go and it was an incredibly beautiful experience, if that's possible. And four days before her passing, she knew she was going, she was ready to go, I knew she was going. And she and I had some of the most incredible conversations. And so I'll leave it at that. But with that, I've also experienced a bit of death in the last five years. My brother, my older brother passed away instantly from a heart attack. My brother in law and sister in law also passed away instantly. So these were deaths that were sudden where there was no preparation, where with my mom there was a ton of preparation and conversation. Also my father in law passed and a dear, dear friend of ours passed as well, all in the last five years. So I've kind of been surrounded by this topic, which is probably what helps me be more comfortable about talking about it, but also realizing how healing it is to talk about it. And that's the reason I'm bringing it up is I realize how healing and freeing it is. And so what I know as a result of these experiences and these conversations is I know I am freer as a result of it, I am lighter as a result of it. And I'm more peaceful as a result of it. And so suspend disbelief, let go and just kind of go on this journey with me, if you will. So I'll begin this conversation with a strong belief that I have. Now, again, I'm not pushing anything on anyone. All I hope to do in this episode is stimulate a lot of thought for you, but also begin any healing around this that you need to do. And so the belief I have is that any fear we beings have about death, it's all ego. And the ultimate freedom is on the other side of shedding that fear of death. As we've learned on this journey together, when our ego is running the show, it has us trapped in that cocoon of fear. And therefore we are not free. And this topic will help to free you and us and free your true self. And as we drill down on this topic of death, we are probably going to uncover what scares you. And whatever sensations come up, I urge you to process them real time. Maybe just hit pause and just sit with any feelings that come up in your body, in your chest, in your stomach, wherever it is, hit pause and try and process it in a minute or two, which is what's typical. Worst case, if it's extreme, then please sit with it later, meditate on it, contemplate, journal, whatever works for you. But please pay attention to the sensations that come up and please process them. So I mentioned the two sides of the coin. So now I want to create a little context around death and dying. And there are two parts to this topic. There is your death and there is other people's death. And we're going to take those one at a time. And when we talk about your death, it's getting to the root of all fear of your death. And then the issue with others death is looking at identity and attachment. You know, how is our identity wrapped up in that person and what is our attachment to that person, you know, our loved ones? So here's what comes up for me and here's the thought that I want to stimulate. And so what's going to happen is I'm going to share roughly about 10 thoughts with you on the subject of your death, and I'm going to offer up some opinions just in terms of my perspective. I'm not pushing anything, but also just ways of stimulating your mind and just kind of stirring up anything that might be in there to again, ultimately help free you. And so number one is starting with the topic of what do you believe happens after you die? Now, there's no bad answer here. And so it's the question of do we go someplace, do we go nowhere, do we just turn into dirt and go into the ground? And so it's something I urge you to ponder. And for me Just to share my humble $0.02. I do believe we go somewhere. I don't believe this is it. I don't believe this is the only journey. And again, that's what works for me and gives me peace. But that's what I believe. And so I'd ask you to ask yourself the question, what do you believe happens to you after you pass? Number two is how will it affect your loved ones? And I believe it's okay to talk about this. And I have talked about this with my loved ones. I think it's so important. How will it affect them? What is their take on this? What are their beliefs? Maybe wishes, thoughts, you know, what happens after you pass? Again, it might sound morbid, but it has been very, very powerful and freeing for both of us to understand what's going to happen to them if I pass. What does that mean to them? And as we kind of peel this onion, you'll start to see how things, these all start to tie together. Number three is what preparation do you need to do? You know, getting your affairs in order, Money, the ceremony. Let your loved ones know exactly what you want the ceremony to be. We all have different wishes, you know, and it's. We've had thrusted upon us how it's supposed to be, and it's just not true. In other words. So for your soul and your true self, what do you want the ceremony to look like? How are your finances going to be managed after your death? Do you have life insurance? Again, are your affairs in order? Does everybody know where? You know, for lack of a better term, all the launch codes are. It's like I have everything in a binder. And so if I disappear and my wife disappears, you know, this is the place you go for all of the answers. All of my affairs are in order. Are all of your affairs in order? Next is conversations, you know, so this is what I've already talked about. But just having conversations, it gives me peace, just talking to people about it, both friends and family. Again, as morbid as it sounds, it's really fascinating to watch people process in that situation. I talked about where it lasted five minutes. You know, people started getting uncomfortable and said, all right, you promised five minutes, let's move on. Some people aren't ready to talk about it, but some just are, are. And it's really freeing. And some can't talk about it with anyone else in their life. And so you're the only person they have to talk about it. Next thought that comes up, as I've been aware of this, there Are literally these death workshops and events out there now that are becoming very popular, especially in the entrepreneurial world. I was going to do a talk for YPO Boise and we were negotiating that talk. And what they shared with me was one of the events that they did, they do an event about every month was literally a workshop on death where they went to a funeral home and went through that process. And it was supposed to be very, very powerful, but again, just a way of getting people to talk about and experience this topic again because it's so freeing. Number six, thought that comes up is legacy and impact. And how important is that to you? And this has been a breakthrough for me in the last three years because I used to think I want to leave a legacy and I just don't care anymore. It's so unimportant to me to leave a legacy. But again, for me, it's just about impact. It's like I just want to create an impact. And who gives credit for that impact? I honest to God, I don't care anymore. So for what that's worth, there was this level of freedom that came out of that. And it's like this freedom of like the responsibility to leave a legacy. I just almost feels weird to me now. Number seven is, do you believe we will see our loved ones again? And so some people believe, you know, we go to heaven, our loved ones are up there waiting for us and we see them again and again. Some people believe we just go right into the ground and into the dirt. And so, you know, just think about that process, that talk about that, you know, I believe we do go somewhere and I do believe we see our loved ones again. And I do believe my loved ones that have passed are looking over me, gives me peace. But give some thought to that. Number eight are near death experiences. So if you've at all gone down this rabbit hole, which I did for about a year, maybe four years ago, it's powerful because how can there be 10,000 of the same stories that are identical? And so it's a fascinating rabbit hole to go down. And so ultimately, do you believe it's real? There's so many books on it now and studies and movies. I just find it so fascinating. It just helps me believe that just. Just seems like there's more going on here than us just going into the ground. Number nine is I shared this in a previous episode. It goes back about 10 episodes. I can't remember exactly when it was, but the subject of soul contracts in that, you know, we literally choose this lifetime and we come down here with a purpose. There's a book called Sacred Contracts that explains it. And it. So is there a grander plan that we're all a part of? And we're here to ascend and grow and learn something. And so that's a powerful concept. So do you think, you know, this whole thing is purpose based? And then number 10, are you at peace with death? Like, check your body like this, this whole subject, does it like get you anxious and scared and worried? Or are you at peace with it? And this is your death we're talking about right now. So are you at peace with your death? I've gotten to a place that I'm so at peace with that thought now, truth be told, I plan to live to 120. Okay? And so with, with, with advancements going on right now, you know, we are going to live well past 100. Those of us, you know, at my age, maybe a little older and certainly younger, but at the same time, that is my intention. If I get hit by a bus this afternoon, I'm good. It has been an incredible life. So I'm just so at peace with my death. And if you're not, you know, how can you find peace? So hopefully that gave you some thoughts to ponder, hopefully some awarenesses, hopefully brought up anything stirring inside of you and then ultimately leading you to peace. Now we're going to go to the other side of the coin. The passing of others, loved ones, family, friends, your significant other, whatever it is, pets. This is including people that have passed. So have you had loved ones that have passed in your life and you still have not come to terms with it, you still have not fully mourned their passing, you have not allowed yourself to grieve. And it's vital. And this also includes obviously people that will pass someday. If you didn't know this, we're all going to die. So it's like, you know, I'm not making shit up here. So it's, this is going to happen, we might as well talk about it. The next thing that comes up is what do you believe? The same conversation about yours. It applies to them. And so what do you believe? Do you believe they go somewhere? Do you believe you're going to see them again? Again, no, bad answer here. But as I've shared, I do. Next is how will it affect you? Just kind of play that out and some things may stir up and you might find some blocks and where your ego has a hold of you because how will it affect you? And so some people they just don't believe they will be able to function. And so play that whole thing out. You don't think you'll be able to function. Wow, what does that mean? And just play that whole thing out. You're going to find what's at the root of that. Next thing that comes up is, have you said everything that needs to be said to those loved ones? Don't have any regrets. That's why it's so important, at least to me, to talk about it. Have these conversations. Next thing that comes up, similar to how it will affect you, but this one is very specific. How will it affect your identity? And that's our ego. And so an example is, you know, if that person passes, I'm going to be alone. So, man, there's something deep at the root of that. And so get to why you're so afraid to be alone. Another is that I'm going to be a widow or a widower. And so again, there's some people that it's their whole identity for 40 years because their spouse passed away 40 years ago. Is there a widow? And they haven't found anyone else because they think they're not supposed to. It's not right. Whatever your beliefs are, again, whatever they are, there are. And then there's some people I'm so fascinated about the person for 40 years that doesn't go find anyone else because they believe they're supposed to be a widow or a widower. And then there's people a year after their significant other's passing, they find somebody else and they're just in love. And those two people are so healthy and that they still love their loved one that passed away. Next is what attachments do you have? So what's going to come up in this thought is what attachments do you have with this person? Where is their entanglement and enmeshment? And that's going to show up, which is very powerful. The next thought is, what is the meaning of their death? So what does it really mean, their passing? These are just questions to get you thinking and pondering. The next question is, what do they want? And so, you know, thank God I was savvy enough as I now, you know, cared for elderly parents. My dad is still alive three, four years ago, I started to talk to them about what do you want? You know, helping them get their affairs in order. What do you want your ceremony to look like? You know, such important things like do you want to be laid out in a casket? Do you want to be cremated and not Be laid out in the cast. Do you want a three day event? Do you want a four hour? So it's really important, at least in my opinion, to understand their wishes. And at first that conversation is a little awkward, but for me it's just important to give them the ceremony that they want, not the one that I want. Sometimes we put our beliefs on these poor people and it's just a matter of giving them what they want, what's important to them, what do they want? The next thought that comes to mind is what do they believe? And so talking to them about what their beliefs are, you know, where do they go? Into the ground, up to heaven, somewhere else. And so just really understanding what they believe. And then the last thing that comes in is how do you mourn? Did you mourn again? These are ones that have passed, so process their death, release trauma and pain. And so really think about have you mourned past loved ones? And how do you mourn as you think about the future? So there it is, a conversation on death and dying. And again, our ego has certain views on death that are limiting and keeping us trapped in the ego cocoon. And remember, there are two sides. Side one is our death leading us to fear based decisions so we don't end up dead. Or the other side is others deaths leading us to fear based decisions of losing them and what that may mean and maybe our death as well. And again, I think we human beings need to discuss this topic and come to our own conclusions about it. So in closing, there's this thought I had and that is as I care for my elderly parents and my mom has now passed and the pain that she went through in the last three years and thinking about the pain that many elderly people go through, I racked my brain and I thought, why? How is this part of the plan? Why do these poor people have to go through such suffering before they pass? And what is the lesson for them? And then I just had this light bulb moment, whether it's right or wrong. But it like hit me that it's not their lesson, it's our lesson. I have learned so much, it has transformed me, caring for my elderly parents. And so I believe the lesson is for us experiencing their pain, not for them. Just my two cents. And so the question is, what is the gift? What is the lesson in it? And I urge you, just have this conversation with one person in the next seven days that you love and trust and they love and trust you and just see what happens. Thank you for listening in today. We truly appreciate you taking the time to spend with us. And please tune in for the next episode. Until then, we wish you all the best in freeing your true self. Stay focused and much love.
