Shed and Shine | Episode 79: How to Grow Without Losing Yourself

Hosts: Gino Wickman and Rob Dube
Date: September 10, 2025

Brief Overview

In this episode, Gino Wickman and Rob Dube explore a common challenge for driven entrepreneurs and high achievers: how to grow and expand professionally without losing touch with your true self. Through personal stories and practical insights, they discuss the dangers of the “more, more, more” mentality and offer strategies to create a sustainable, fulfilling path that honors both ambition and authenticity.

Key Discussion Points and Insights

The “More, More, More” Trap

• Rob Dube opens the conversation by highlighting society’s obsession with continual achievement, emphasizing the potential risk to inner peace, values, and authentic self (00:41).
• Gino Wickman shares that even after decades in business, he battles the temptation to do more—acknowledging that the allure of more talks, more money, and more recognition never totally goes away (01:39).

“As a driven person, you can get sucked up in that thing… you can completely lose yourself. There’s so many driven people that just completely lose themselves. And not only do they then lose themselves, they lose everything. They lose their family, they lose…”
— Gino Wickman (04:40)

Drawing the Line: Boundaries and Capacity

• Gino explains his personal system for staying balanced:
  • Determine your “100% capacity”—the maximum you can handle without burning out (02:54).
  • Be intentional about what to say “yes” and “no” to, filling your schedule only with high-impact activities.
  • Recognize you can’t have or do it all; set boundaries to avoid sacrificing what matters most (04:10).

“You’ve got to create your own filter because it’s so exciting. As a driven person, you can get sucked up… So I work this much and I can say no to everything else…”
— Gino Wickman (04:54)

Personal Experiences of Losing (and Finding) Yourself

• Both hosts share candid stories of losing themselves in relentless work in their twenties (05:40–06:30).
  • Rob Dube: Credits mentors like Gino for helping him realign and find clarity.
  • Gino Wickman: “I lost myself in my 20s. That’s all I did was work in my 20s. …Thank God I got my wakeup call toward my late 20s…” (05:40)

The Cycle of Sacrifice for Driven People

• Rob observes that achievers often “kick the can” on their personal lives, promising themselves a better future after the next “big milestone”—but rarely course-correcting.
• Gino suggests using tools like a quarterly self-assessment to regularly check alignment with your true priorities (07:39).

Hidden Costs: What’s Really Being Sacrificed?

• Gino shines a light on specific sacrifices high achievers make—most notably, neglecting people-development and mentorship in both business and family life (09:04).

“You’re sacrificing this opportunity to really leave a legacy with the people that report to you because you’re so damn busy doing all that other intoxicating stuff and you’re just not saying no.”
— Gino Wickman (10:25)

Achieving through Self-Sacrifice: Is It Ever Worth It?

• Gino brings nuance, citing an old saying: living out of balance is okay “as long as you know for how long and why” (11:04).
  • Temporary sacrifices are sometimes necessary, but it’s crucial to understand the endpoint and the reason.
• Rob adds the power of asking hard questions: “Why do I want this? Who told me I have to do it this way? What really matters to me, even if no one else approves?” (12:41)

Signs of Misalignment

• Gino humorously but poignantly lists obvious symptoms: “Dress, a frowny face, drained energy, bags under their eyes…” (13:42)
• Rob and Gino discuss fear-based decision-making as another warning sign, encouraging listeners to reflect on whether their choices are rooted in fear or love (13:53–14:23).

“They’re trying to fill a hole that can’t be filled... when you can shed that layer… you realize there’s no hole to be filled. You are whole and complete and lacking nothing.”
— Gino Wickman (14:23)

Notable Quotes and Memorable Moments

• On boundaries and ambition:
  “There’s a line. My job is to figure out where’s the happy medium.” — Gino Wickman (02:20)
• On early career burnout:
  “I lost myself in my 20s… I was just not there. And then when I was home, I was not present.” — Gino Wickman (05:40)
• On continuous self-reflection:
  “Take stock of where things are, you make changes, and so it never gets out of control.” — Rob Dube (08:25)
• On missed opportunities for legacy:
  "You’re sacrificing this opportunity to really leave a legacy with the people that report to you..." — Gino Wickman (10:25)
• On the seduction of success:
  "They're trying to fill a hole that can't be filled. …You are whole and complete and lacking nothing." — Gino Wickman (14:23)

Timestamps for Important Segments

• 00:41 — Main theme: How to grow without losing yourself
• 01:39 — Gino’s reflections on the “more, more, more” culture
• 05:40 — Personal stories: Losing oneself in the pursuit of success
• 07:39 — The value of frequent self-assessment
• 09:04 — Concrete sacrifices: neglecting people development
• 10:54 — Living out of balance—temporarily
• 12:41 — Asking the hard “why” questions
• 13:42 — Signs someone is out of alignment
• 13:53–14:23 — Are your decisions fear-based or love-based?

Takeaways and Action Steps

• Define Your Boundaries: Know your work and time capacity; consciously choose what to take on and when to say “no.”
• Periodic Self-Assessment: Utilize tools like the True Self Assessment or 90-day check-ins to realign with your values and priorities.
• Maintain Perspective: Think in terms of decades. Paint the “perfect life” picture, not just a perfect business.
• Ask Core Questions: Regularly check in with yourself: Why am I pursuing this? Is this for me or someone else’s expectations?
• Recognize Red Flags: Watch for physical/emotional signs of misalignment and moments where fear drives decisions.

By the end, Gino and Rob emphasize:
You don’t have to lose yourself in the process of achieving your dreams. Staying true to who you are amplifies—not hinders—your growth.