Episode 94: Gino's Riff - Open and Honest: The Truth That Frees Your True Self - Shed and Shine

Shed and Shine – Episode 94: Gino’s Riff – Open and Honest: The Truth That Frees Your True Self

Main Theme:
In this solo episode, Gino Wickman dives deeply into the concept of honesty as the root of personal and entrepreneurial authenticity. Drawing from his experiences in leadership, his foundational work with EOS, and insights from his sabbatical, Gino explores what it means to live and lead with openness and honesty — and how these qualities can liberate the "True Self" to unlock true entrepreneurial and personal freedom.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

The Centrality of Honesty to “Shine”

Honesty, Truth, Authenticity: Gino reflects on how these concepts are increasingly prominent in his life and work, recognizing honesty as the foundation of his book Shine — specifically, across its three discoveries and ten disciplines.
- “Honesty is at the root of Shine...”
  (01:15)
History with EOS:
- Recounts having embedded the expectation of being “open and honest” within every EOS leadership session for over 20 years, believing it’s essential not just for clients, but for everyone.
  - “All we ever ask our clients to do is to be open and honest.”
    (02:00)
- Imagines a world transformed by universal openness and honesty:
  - “If we could all just be open and honest, the world would be a better place.”
    (03:15)

The Difference Between Openness and Honesty

Open:
- Being vulnerable, exposing one’s “soft underbelly”, and being receptive.
- “Open... is about being vulnerable… exposing your soft underbelly. If you don't know what that means, listen to episode 58.”
  (04:00)
Honest:
- Seeing life without filters, telling the truth to oneself and others, and demanding honesty in return — acknowledging its challenges and rewards.
- “Honest is that you see life as it is, with no filter, and you're being absolutely honest with yourself and with others...”
  (04:45)

Defining Authenticity

Gino reads and reacts to the dictionary definition of ‘authentic’, citing words like genuine, real, true, original, and connects authenticity with a lack of “performing.”
- “We are not ourselves when we are performing. We are not authentic when we are performing.”
  (06:35)

The Three Levels of Telling the Truth (From “Radical Honesty”)

Gino introduces a framework from the book Radical Honesty, tying it to his own thinking and emphasizing the book's deep resonance with the second discovery in Shine: ‘All decisions are made from love or fear’.

1. Revealing the Facts (The Past)

Go back in life and reveal long-withheld secrets, deceptions, and withholds — with oneself and with others — to “get clean.”
- “This is about the past… to reveal all deceptions and withholds.”
  (10:05)
- “Getting clean is just where you, like, clear everything, so there's just nothing blocked. The past is cleaned up.”
  (12:20)
- Gino emphasizes self-honesty as a starting point before bringing honesty to others.

2. Current Thoughts and Feelings (The Now)

Honest real-time sharing of one’s thoughts, emotions, and judgments — essential in all interactions.
- “Any feelings, any thoughts, any judgments you're having is just being very honest, real time...”
  (13:45)
- Not sharing emotions or judgments (to “protect” others) is a form of manipulation:
  - “...when we don't, we are manipulating, we're manipulating ourselves, we're manipulating others.”
    (14:20)
- Example:
  - “Picture an interaction with somebody and you say, I'm not angry… when we are really angry. You're lying to yourself, you're lying to them…”
    (15:10)
  - The power lies in saying: “I'm angry right now. I'm feeling very triggered right now. That's honesty.”

3. Exposing the Fiction (Your Pose/Ego)

Admitting that who you present yourself to be isn’t always your true self.
- “This is your ego, your Persona, your personality — the performing.”
  (16:30)
- “It's when you admit who you really are is not who you've been pretending to be.”
  (16:55)
- Acknowledges that this realization is scary and profound but crucial for growth and true freedom.

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

“If we could all just be open and honest, the world would be a better place.”
(03:15)
“We are not ourselves when we are performing. We are not authentic when we are performing.”
(06:35)
“It's about being honest with yourself and being honest with others. But it's both that we're talking about here...”
(12:30)
“When we don't, we are manipulating… we've convinced ourselves that we're being good and doing good by doing this, but it's not fair to the other person. It is a form of manipulation.”
(14:20)
“This is when you admit who you really are is not who you've been pretending to be.”
(16:55)
“The truth will set you free.”
(27:25, conclusion)

Kindness and Honesty – The Rant & Disclaimer

Disclaimer:

Gino recognizes he’s also learning and experimenting, not presenting himself as a moral authority:
- “Everything that I shared with you, I am walking this path with you, and I'm trying to figure it out as well.”
  (19:40)

The Kind Truth

Responding to the often-raised concern: What about kindness? Aren’t honesty and kindness sometimes at odds?
- “Nothing that I said for the last 15 minutes is about being mean. It's about just telling the truth.”
  (20:30)
Gino claims words only matter when motivated by ego; when motivated by love, honesty and kindness are not mutually exclusive.
- “When a message is coming from the heart… the words don't matter. When it's coming from the ego, both sent and received, with ego, words matter.”
  (22:05)
Shares his approach for signaling honesty from love:
- “I hope you can feel my love.”
  (23:00)
- “With all due love and respect...”
  (23:20)
Admits that sometimes, even with the best intentions, honesty can sound harsh (“ruthlessly and lovingly honest”). But filtering or “candy-coating” the truth robs it of power and can be more damaging.
- “We do damage when we candy coat the truth.”
  (25:50)
If someone’s honest but their delivery is rude or persistently harsh, the truth will expose that for what it is:
- “Sometimes people are just an asshole. And so the truth will then expose that they're an asshole.”
  (26:50)

Conclusion & Call to Action

Gino circles back to the episode’s theme:
- “The truth will set you free. And I urge you to be open and honest with all of your interactions with every human being. Let's change the world.”
  (27:25, closing)

Timestamps for Key Segments

Introduction & Theme: 00:00 – 03:20
Openness vs. Honesty: 04:00 – 05:30
Authenticity & Performing: 06:00 – 07:10
Radical Honesty – Three Levels Framework: 09:00 – 18:00
Disclaimer & “Kind Truth” Rant: 19:30 – 26:30
Final Thoughts & Call to Action: 27:00 – End

Summary Takeaway

Gino Wickman’s solo riff encourages entrepreneurs and listeners to examine their relationship with truth, vulnerability, and authenticity. By practicing “open and honest” communication in three dimensions—about the past, present, and one’s own posturing—we clear space for the “True Self” to shine. Gino dispels the myth that honesty and kindness are incompatible, instead arguing for heartfelt truth-telling as the path to personal and collective freedom. Each listener is invited to bravely “get clean”, live openly, and help create a world where honesty, not performance or ego, sets the tone.

Transcript

A (0:00)

Hello, and welcome back. This episode I call the Truth Will Set yout Free. And so we're talking about honesty. We're talking about telling the truth in this episode. And honesty, truth, authenticity has been coming up for me in such a big way. It's coming up in a much deeper way than it. Than it ever has before and maybe even in a clearer. And so I'm going to do my best to share with you what the heck is going on in my brain and what I'm seeing. And so in this clarity, I see so clearly how honesty is at the root of Shine. So everything in the book shine, the three discoveries, the 10 disciplines, every word in there, it's all about honesty. It's all about you being honest with you and you being honest with others. And so as I was reflecting and thinking about this episode, it reminded me and brought me back to eos. And when I created EOS and created the sessions that we take a leadership team through to accomplish the outcome and the objective of implementing eos, there's one and only one expectation we have of any of our clients in every session that we do with them. And the expectation is simply this open and honest. Three words. All we ever ask our clients to do is to be open and honest. And so over 20 years ago, I put that into EOS. And maybe it was my soul putting it in there, but it was so clear to me that if we can just get every leadership team in the world to be completely open and honest, the world would be a better place. But now we're going to zoom out because we're talking about you and me and us and the whole world and 8.5 billion of us out there. If we could all just be open and honest, the world would be a better place. And so my goal in this conversation, in this episode is I'm going to give you a golden nugget that I learned during my sabbatical. So when I say open because they're open and honest could not be more different. They're. They're completely different from each other. And so open. When I say open, it's about being vulnerable. It's about opening yourself up. It's about exposing your soft underbelly. If you don't know what that means, listen to episode 58. You're open to receive. Completely vulnerable. And how scary is that? Honest is that you see life as it is, with no filter, and you're being absolutely honest with yourself and with others, and you demand of other people that they are honest with you. It's a requirement in all of your relationships. And so imagine that, because that's scary. Imagine if we were all full of truth serum and all we could do is tell the truth. I think at first it'd be pretty messy, but at the other side of that, I think it'd be pretty powerful. And I do believe the world would be a better place. But nonetheless, that's the only expectation. My favorite word in this whole conversation is authenticity is being authentic. And I can't help when I think of that word. I looked up the definition, and I feel chills when I read the definition of authentic. And so the definition are words like being in fact, not fraudulent, or counterfeit or false, genuine, real, true to one's own spirit. And then synonyms are genuine, real, true, original. What a world it would be. And I touched on this in the previous episode. But we are not ourselves when we are performing. We are not authentic when we are performing. And so I love that word, performing. We are taught to perform. So back to the point. Open and honest. The truth will set you free. Here's the golden nugget. During my sabbatical, I read a book called Radical Honesty. And what I realize, that book in its entirety is like a deep dive into discovery number two. All decisions are made from love or fear. And so this part of the book, he calls the three levels of telling the truth. And so the first level of telling the truth is what he calls revealing the facts. Okay. And so this is all about the past. More on that in just a minute. The second level of telling the truth, he calls current thoughts and feelings. And this is all about what's happening right now. And then the third level is exposing the fiction. And this is all about our pose, as he calls it, our Persona. And I'll again get into detail on that in just a second. And so here we go. We're going to take them one at a time. So level one again, he calls revealing the facts. And like I said, this is about the past. And so the idea here is to look back at your life, and in this first level is to reveal all deceptions and withholds. Okay, I'll pause on that thought for a minute. And so what he says is, tell your parents, significant others, friends, or whoever else you need to any long withheld secrets. Okay? And I'll sit with the pain of that getting you thinking about that if there's things floating around back there. And so this is where I'm kind of blending his advice and my advice in this. But it's these are things that are weighing on us and we feel will potentially hurt others. But by hanging on to them, here we go. With everything you learned in Shine and letting them weigh on us, it is killing us. Now, I'll trust you're sophisticated enough to decide what to do with this. I'm not pushing you to do anything, but the idea here is to go back and clean up any messes and get clean, as a friend of mine calls it. Getting clean is just where you, like, clear everything, so there's just nothing blocked. The past is cleaned up. So get clean. And then I'll close this level by saying doing this with yourself and others. So start with yourself, start with being honest with yourself. Deceptions and withholds from the past, and then be honest with others. But it's both that we're talking about here, being honest with yourself and being honest with others. Onto level two, he calls it honesty about current thoughts and feelings. And so this is about the now and what's happening with you right now in every interaction when you're with yourself. And so he calls this sharing your emotions, which means what you're thinking, feeling judgments at this moment. So any feelings, any thoughts, any judgments you're having is just being very honest, real time when you're experiencing them with yourself and with others. Because what he describes is when he says, when we don't, we are manipulating, we're manipulating ourselves, we're manipulating others. And so sometimes when we're having a feeling, an emotion, a thought, or we're judging someone or it's about someone, we resist sharing it because we don't want to hurt them, and so we're protecting them. But what he describes is that as a form of manipulation. In other words, we've convinced ourselves that we're being good and doing good by doing this, but it's not fair to the other person. It is a form of manipulation. Now that's a really deep thought. I had to read that three times for that one to really sink in. But, oh, that one also kind of stung for me because also understand I'm practicing all this stuff real time myself. He also then talks about it's hiding behind phony behavior. And so this, this funny thought comes to mind when I read that where it's like, you know, picture an interaction with somebody and you say, I'm not angry or something. Like, I'm not triggered when we are really angry. When we are really triggered, you're. You're lying to yourself, you're lying to them, you're not being honest and so again, in that interaction, it's like, I'm angry right now. I'm feeling very triggered right now. That's honesty. And so it's. I'm angry, I'm jealous, I'm judging you, I'm scared. Whatever it is, it's being really honest. I'm about your thoughts, feelings, emotions, judgments in the moment. Say it, admit it. See life as it is with yourself and with others. And then number three, level three is. He calls it exposing the fiction. He calls it your pose, which I love. I believe it's P O S E, your pose. But this is your ego, your Persona, your personality, the performing. This is the psyche that you created. So he explains here. This is when you admit who you really are is not who you've been pretending to be. It's when who you really are, you admit who I really am is not who I've been pretending to be. It's admitting where your true self doesn't align with the facade. This is, again, discovery number two in its purest form. This is being aware of your ego. And when your ego, or pose, in his case, is online, this is when you're performing. There's that word again. Again, like I said, this is your psyche. The definition of psyche is the sum of all of your experiences. And so that's. Your psyche is just a sum of all of your experience. This package, this facade that your ego created. And so it's just being honest and exposing that. Right now, I'm not being my true self. Right now, I'm performing. Right now, my ego is online. It's just being honest about exposing the fiction when you're not being the real you with yourself and with others. And again, it's just that little piece of the book, that context, it's so powerful in conversations because everyone gets it. I love seeing the fear in people's eyes. It was in my eyes as I was reading it as well. But so, so, so profound. And I hope it was just as profound for you. Now, with all that said, I have a disclaimer and a rant for you. First of all, the disclaimer is, you know, everything that I shared with you, I am walking this path with you, and I'm trying to figure it out as well. So I'm not preaching that I have all the answers. I'm just sharing my journey as you're on yours. And I just hope that gave you a few ahas. There's the disclaimer. The rant is this. Okay? And so the thing that keeps happening when I share this honesty message is there's this question that comes up in so many words. The question is, well, Gino, what about kindness? What about kindness? You know, simply put, the answer to that is, you know, I hope we will all tell the kind truth, but I don't comprehend why when people hear this message of honesty or when they hear about being honest, somehow people correlate that to being mean. Nothing that I said for the last 15 minutes is about being mean. It's about just telling the truth. And so now we get into this thing about words, which makes me crazy because everybody's trying to make us use their words or tell us what good words are and bad words are. And with all due love and respect, that's all bullshit. And so words become pejorative. I had to look that word up way back when I first heard it. But it's like a word that was an appropriate word 40 years ago is no longer an appropriate word, but it made total sense back then. I'm not going to get into specifics, but the point is they're just words. And when a message is coming from the heart, which is where. When you're being honest with somebody, you just have to come from the heart. When it's coming from the heart, the words don't matter. When it's coming from the ego, both sent and received, with ego, words matter. So the point is, when words matter, that's all an ego battle. Let's go down to a lower level, a deeper level, a grounded level from our hearts. When it's coming from the heart, words don't matter. It can't be mean, it can't be unkind. Now we with that, the words I will use when I'm getting very passionate with somebody and being honest, I will say, I hope you can feel my love. I hope you can feel my love. Because I can see the terror in their face. But it's coming from love. And so that's one way. Another thing that I do is I say with all due love and respect, and then the truth then follows. And so the people in my life know when they hear that, they know something's coming. But nonetheless, you'll say it the way you'll say it. But those are my two ways of reminding myself and people that this is coming from love. And here's the reality, though. Let's pretend you say it terribly, because I say things terribly, terribly. And so my successor in Eos Worldwide describes me as being ruthlessly and lovingly honest. So again, there's that love word it's coming from love. But sometimes it's a little ruthless because again, at the time, I don't want to think of all the words. I can't be honest with you if I'm trying to think of all the words. And so sometimes I say it terribly. But here's the beauty. First of all, the truth hurts. But let's pretend I say it with the wrong words or you say it with the wrong words. Then it's a lesson. There's simply a lesson in there for you. And if the other person's being honest, they're going to say, when you said it that way, that hurt. Or that's inappropriate. And you'll learn something. But I think we do damage when we candy coat the truth. When we choose the words, all of a sudden it's just not coming from the heart anymore. And here's the beauty. If in fact you say it terribly and then you have people that say, oh, she doesn't have a filter. He doesn't have a filter, I don't have a filter. It's an excuse. Sometimes people are just an asshole. And so the truth will then expose that they're an asshole. And if you're an asshole, then that life's gonna play out the way it's gonna play out for you. But at least we were all honest. So for me, I was grateful that he was that honest with me. It brought me down to the ground and it helped me be a better person. I believe we owe people the truth. I believe we owe ourselves the truth. And so I will now end where we began. And that is the truth will set you free. And I urge you to be open and honest with all of your interactions with every human being. Let's change the world. Thank you for listening in today. We truly appreciate you taking the time to spend with us. And please tune in for the next episode. Until then, we wish you all the best in freeing your true self. Stay focused and much love.