Episode 95: Finding Your People: How to Build a Community That Reflects Your True Self

Summary

Podcast Summary

Shed and Shine

Hosts: Gino Wickman & Rob Dube
Episode 95: Finding Your People: How to Build a Community That Reflects Your True Self
Release Date: December 31, 2025

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Episode Overview

In this episode, Gino and Rob explore the powerful role community plays for driven entrepreneurs seeking growth, authenticity, and connection. They share personal stories about their own journeys in finding “their people,” reflect on lessons from mastermind and peer groups, and offer practical guidance and candid insights for listeners ready to build or find a group that truly resonates with their values and ambitions.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

The Need for Community Among Driven People

• Common Theme: Many high-achievers are independent by nature, yet often yearn for a like-minded group that supports both business and personal growth (01:00).
• Vulnerability & Growth: Modern masterminds or peer groups aren't just about success; they're spaces to shed old patterns, embrace vulnerability, and pursue personal transformation together.

The Impact of Peer Groups

• Gino’s Trajectory:

  • Started at age 22 with “mentor groups,” evolved into industry peer groups, YEO (now EO), Strategic Coach, and more (02:19–04:45).
  • Repeatedly found these experiences “had a huge impact on my success” by connecting with driven, ambitious peers (03:05).

• Rob’s Journey:

  • Entered YEO (EO) thinking everyone was “so successful” and “had their MBA”—until discovering otherwise, which was liberating (05:46).
  • “It was the first time I realized that as an entrepreneur, as a driven person, you actually didn’t have to have your MBA to be successful.” (05:59)

Authenticity and Belonging: Aha Moments

• Gino’s Epiphany in EO:

  • Quote: “I have my aha moment where I looked around that table at those 11 set of eyeballs and I said, wow, these guys are as fucked up as I am.” (00:00, recalled at 08:19)
  • Created mutual vulnerability and inspired his lifelong mission: “...my AHA...that we’re all trying to figure it out. And most of us have these facades that look like we’ve got it all figured out… and it’s just not so.” (09:00)

• Rob on Evolving Conversations:

  • Discovered peer groups could evolve from surface-level business talk to deeper, personal vulnerability and growth.
  • “I need a group of people... [who] can go beyond just the business surface...” (10:37)

Choosing the Right Community

• Fit and Timing:

  • Both hosts stress that the right group might change as you grow. Outgrowing a group is natural, not a reflection on anyone. (08:08–09:45)
  • “Think about where you want to be and surround yourself with people that are where you want to be or are going where you want to go.” (09:35)

• If You Can’t Find It—Create It:

  • “If you can’t find it, create it. Go find four people and start a group of five. It’ll be a beautiful thing.” (09:45)

Is Community For Everyone?

• Not Necessarily:

  • Recognizes “rugged individualists” do exist and can succeed without formal communities. Research and experience show about 50/50 splits among entrepreneurs regarding mentorship or peer support (12:07–13:10).
  • “...It’s not like you’re going to fail if you don’t have a peer group. It’s just if you are seeking that...that’s for you. And if it’s not, I don’t think it’s for everybody.” (12:50)

• Benefits of Genuine Community:

  • For those who crave it, authentic groups boost self-awareness, provide accountability, and reflect your true self back to you (13:33).
  • “If you have a group of people that you are feeling comfortable enough to be fully authentic, fully your true self, or working towards becoming your true self...you start to see who you really are, it gets deeper because they project back to you or they reflect back to you...” (13:33)

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• Gino on Vulnerability in Community:
  • “Wow, these guys are as fucked up as I am.” (00:00, echoed at 08:19)
• Rob’s Relief in EO:
  • “It was the first time I realized that as an entrepreneur...you actually didn’t have to have your MBA to be successful.” (05:59)
• Gino on Outgrowing Groups:
  • “You will outgrow your peer groups, you will outgrow your mentors, you will outgrow in most cases. So for me, I just simply outgrew some of those groups. So it’s not like it was the wrong group, it was the right group at the time, but I just outgrew it.” (09:00)
• Rob on Authentic Group Dynamics:
  • “If you have a group of people that you are feeling comfortable enough to be fully authentic, fully your true self, or working towards becoming your true self...there’s a sense of accountability there.” (13:33)

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Timestamps for Key Segments

• 00:00 – Gino’s table realization: “These guys are as fucked up as I am.”
• 01:00–02:19 – Introduction: Why high performers seek community.
• 02:19–05:46 – Gino’s journey through various peer groups.
• 05:46–08:08 – Rob’s YEO experience; transition from surface to deep connection; Small Giants community.
• 08:08–09:45 – Gino’s reflections on vulnerability, outgrowing groups, and how EOS was born.
• 09:45–10:37 – Advice on how to find or create your community.
• 10:37–12:07 – Rob on groups evolving beyond business, inclusion/exclusion from community.
• 12:07–13:33 – Gino on independent types; personal need (or not) for groups.
• 13:33–14:38 – Rob on authenticity and accountability in groups.

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Closing Thoughts

This candid, warm episode is a deep dive into the differing paths to belonging and growth for entrepreneurs. Gino and Rob invite us to reflect honestly on what support we truly need, illustrating through their years of personal experience the joy and transformation that comes from finding—and sometimes building—the right community. Whether you’re a joiner, a lone wolf, or somewhere in between, there’s inspiration here for every stage of the entrepreneurial and self-discovery journey.

Transcript

[A]

And I have my aha moment where I looked around that table at those 11 set of eyeballs and I said, wow, these guys are as fucked up as I am.

[B]

Hello everyone. My name is Rob Dubay and I am here with Gino Whipping. Hello, Gino.

[A]

Hello, Rob.

[B]

What's happening? How are you doing?

[A]

What's happening? I'm feeling very thoughtful today, which means I'm full of thought.

[B]

I was going to say you look really good.

[A]

Oh, thank you.

[B]

Now maybe you're looking thoughtful.

[A]

Maybe thought looks good on me.

[B]

Fun topic today, finding your community. So this came up because I frequently hear from people who are looking for a tribe, a community, their kinds of people. And you know, I also noticed that so many driven people are very independent. You know, they've been able to make their way without a lot of support. And what I've noticed is through a lot of the inquiries we receive for people wanting to join our true self Mastermind is that people are actually looking for a group of like minded high performers who are also on kind of an inner journey, a path of shedding what's no longer serving them so they can become their true self. And so they want to grow, they want to be vulnerable, but they don't want to do it alone. And of course there's all kinds of powerful communities out there that offering, you know, have offerings like teachings and connection and even accountability. So for example, in our true self Mastermind, I'm trying, I don't want this to sound like a commercial. It's just what I know is that we have a unique group of driven people who have a big focus on their businesses and that success, but also deeply, deeply want to go inside and shed their stuff. And so what ends up happening is when you put a group like that together, it's a pretty solid bond. And it's really kind of hard to describe. I asked some people in our Mastermind to describe it and they said it's actually kind of hard to describe the bond that you feel. So I use that as our jumping off point. And just curious if anything's coming up for you as always.

[A]

Well, a whole bunch of stuff. You know, it's always, I always love, you know, when we do these episodes, I never know where you're going. I only know the topic that you send me. And so I saw the topic finding community again. And sometimes you're going somewhere else. I did not think you were going to go. So I didn't know what to expect on this one. I will start with my experience and my experience Is starts at age 22 with something called a mentor group. Okay. That the family business was a term that was created and that's just a group of people coming together that kind of mentor each other. Mastermind is what's most common now for that. That's what Napoleon Hill called it. But lots of. But just peer groups, groups of peers coming together and there's lots of them out there. But for me I have always been in some sort of a peer group and so it started with those mentor groups. I was in three different ones in my 20s and there is no question it had a huge impact on my success being with like minded people. That was in the real estate industry. From there I got involved in Yeo Young Entrepreneurs Organization which is now EO entrepreneurs organization for eight years which again was very profound with, with 12 peers, 11, 12 of us total, all business owners had a huge impact on my life at that point in time. Then I got in strategic coach, still in strategic coach almost 30 years now. That peer group was very profound for me. Had a huge impact on my life. And then the EOS worldwide EOS implementer community we come together every 90 days. It's like heaven. It's a giant lovin. So my point is I am a big believer in peer groups and finding like minded people and learning and growing together and there are lots of them out there. So I said eo, there's Ypo Vistage. I'm doing these SHINE meetings I've talked about. Again that's just for an exclusive group of people, small group of people. But certainly we have our mastermind. And it's funny because we have had a humorous conversation. We're coming out of our quarterly and it's how I won't sell it and it's like I don't know what it is and it's not like I'm afraid to sell, I just don't, you know. And you made the comment it seems like I sell everything else but our mastermind. So you know, I will say this. I take great pride in our mastermind. I think it's very, very powerful. Almost every session is rated a 10. It's a pretty incredible thing. And so if those of you out there are interested in being with a group of driven people that want to free their true selves, find inner peace, make a bigger impact on the world, increase your energy, that's the place to go. But the point in all of that is whatever you choose out there, we can't do it alone in my opinion. And so there are rugged Individualists out there that just don't play well with others and they do just fine. And so it's for you to decide, are you the kind of person that wants to be in a peer group to learn and grow faster or are you someone that just doesn't play well with others? And I think at the end of the day most of us are drawn to wanting to surround ourselves with peers and learn and grow faster. So there's what comes to mind for me.

[B]

Yeah, I wanted to share also a little bit of my experience because I was also in YEO many years ago and I remember going in and thinking everybody is so successful in this group. And I, I just, I think it was like 28 or something and I thought everybody had their masters of Business mba. I literally went in and thought every single person here has their mba. And after the first meeting I realized nobody had their mba. It was so, it was so refreshing for me and it was such a relief because it was the first time I realized that as an entrepreneur, as a driven person, you actually didn't have to have your MBA to be successful. Which was something I was walking around with was six, six years previously. It was this thing that got in my head at some point and so, you know, EO started, which it's now, as Gino mentioned, is now called eo that started to open me up to be a bit more vulnerable. But I have to say I had my armor up for many years. I still was pasturing and still showing more success than was really there. Which I think for those of you driven people out there are listening, maybe you can relate to that on some level. After I sold my business, I found a community that's still very important to me, the small giants community. And I found that to be a group of like super authentic people that really cared for the totality of their employees lives and really purpose driven leaders. So you know, that's what happened with me. I'm now excited to be running this mastermind with Gino again. This sounds like a commercial, but it really isn't. It's coming from our hearts and to be able to facilitate that through what we learned in these groups and then how we could do some things a little bit differently based on the content that we've written about in Shine and Teach. A thought that comes up for me, Gino, is how do you find what's right for you? If you're looking for your community, what are some of the things that you're thinking about at different times in your life? I know You've been in some groups that maybe didn't work so great for you. And I have as well where I kind of tried it out and said, this group isn't for me. This community doesn't click.

[A]

Yeah, well, a couple thoughts. First, I want to go back to something you said because you reminded me of something really funny. At least you'll be the judge of this out there. But When I joined Yeo, I was one of the original 10 members in the Detroit chapter, now known as EO. Same thing. I went into that very intimidated, very insecure. I thought I was going to be surrounded by these people that just knew so much more than I did. And I was about six to 12 months in and I have my aha moment where I looked around that table at those 11 set of eyeballs and I said, wow, these guys are as fucked up as I am. So it was just so beautiful to realize we are all just trying to figure it out. And so if any way you are nervous about joining a peer group because you feel that way, it's not so and so with that aha. Quite frankly, that's how EOS was born. Because that was my AHA and saying, wow, I know how to help these people. I'm going to spend the rest of my life helping them. Helping these people. That's secondary to the AHA that we're all trying to figure it out. And most of us have these facades that look like we've got it all figured out because that's what we need to put on for the world. And it's just not so and so. Now to get to your question, you know, how do you find a group? What is the right group? I have been blessed that, you know, I haven't. Maybe I got in one group. What really happens for me is I just outgrow them. And that sounds terrible, but I have such a strong belief that I teach everybody that will listen is that you will outgrow your peer groups, you will outgrow your mentors, you will outgrow in most cases. So for me, I just simply outgrew some of those groups. So it's not like it was the wrong group, it was the right group at the time, but I just outgrew it. And again, no discredit to anyone. So when looking for a group of peers, you know, again, I use the term like minded. I look at it as think about where you want to be and surround yourself with people that are where you want to be or are going where you want to go. And Whatever those words are that fill in that blank, that group exists. And if you can't find it, create it. Go find four people and start a group of five. It'll be a beautiful thing. So just start with that. Where do you want to be? And then just find those like minded people.

[B]

Yeah, that's good advice. I like that. You know, I was thinking about the trajectory too. You know, when I, as I mentioned, when I got into eo, it was very surface level, very business oriented. But then I started to notice a shift where we started talking about some things that were going on in our personal life. You know, could be an issue with one of our kids or, you know, a family member, whatever it might be. And then what I started to notice is it evolved into some, you know, more deeper discussions about our own stuff. And, you know, that for me was where I was like, this is what I actually really need. This is. I need a group of people that was just me, you know, so there are groups out there that can go beyond just the business surface, but there's also groups that are fully focused on maximizing success within your business. Just find the one that makes sense for you. You know, you mentioned there are people that go at it completely alone. And that just like stirred my brain a little because when I was preparing, I kind of had this feeling like, God, everybody really should find their group. I mean, there's got to be a group for everybody. And you've had so many sessions with so many leaders and talked to so many people. What is the difference there? For somebody who's just very I. Strong isn't the right word. Just independent. Not feeling like I need a community. I got it. I can figure this out.

[A]

Yeah, I mean, I mean, I'll use me as an example because, you know, I'm pretty rebellious and, you know, I got to a place where I didn't feel like I needed a peer group per se, that goes that deep. I had that all through my 20s, all through my 30s. And again, strategic Coach is one of my peer groups and that's focused on something different. There's 50 of us in a room, so it's not as intimate. I found that I didn't need the accountability because I'm able to hold myself accountable. So for me, I just didn't. I'm not craving that level of intimacy because I have it in so many places in my life that I don't need it in a peer group. So I don't think, you know, I really believe that there are some people walking the Earth. I don't know what percentage, but they just don't need it. In other words, they're going to be fine doing it on their own. It's like the research I did on successful entrepreneurs that have had a mentor and not had a mentor. And it's like 50, 50. And the ones that didn't have a mentor were pretty successful. So it's not like you're going to fail if you don't have a peer group. It's just if you are seeking that, if that's something that's important to you, if you feel like that's something that's going to, you know, give you that advantage and help your growth, then that's for you. And if it's not, I don't think it's for everybody. My two cents, and I'm willing to be wrong on that.

[B]

No, I think that's your scientific study on humility. What do I say on mentors, having a mentor? Well, you know, one of the things when I was thinking about community for. For whatever it's worth for anybody listening, is if you have a group of people that you are feeling comfortable enough to be fully authentic, fully your true self, or working towards becoming your true self. You know, I'm noticing a lot of benefits in that, and I've noticed that for my own self. You know, because you start to see who you really are, it gets deeper because they project back to you or they reflect back to you. Excuse me. And there's a sense of accountability there. I mean, I think if you have a group of people who are gentle, but maybe then there's a couple people who are kind of strong and just calling you out. I think there's something really special about that. Maybe you can even find it on your leadership team. I don't know. So, anyway, that's all I have to say about that. Gino, what else is coming up for you on this topic? Anything before we close it out?

[A]

Rob, We've said it all, my friend. We've said it all.

[B]

I love when you say that. I feel at peace when you do. Well, everyone, thanks again for joining us and we'll see you next time. As always, stay focused and much love.

[A]

Thank you for listening in today. We truly appreciate you taking the time to spend with us, and please tune in for the next episode. Until then, we wish you all the best in freeing your true self. Stay focused and much love.