The One About Being Slutty

Summary

Sibling Rivalry Podcast

Episode: The One About Being Slutty

Release Date: December 15, 2025
Hosts: Monét X Change & Bob The Drag Queen

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Episode Overview

In this uproarious and candid episode, Monét X Change and Bob The Drag Queen dive into the theme of sex-positivity, personal boundaries, and what it means to be “slutty” from both humorous and sincere angles. With their signature banter and chemistry, they share personal stories—some raunchy, some unexpected—discuss the ethics and etiquette around sex, cruising, and parties, and explore how fame complicates queer sex culture. Alongside laughs, the hosts also touch on deeper issues like sexual health, stigma, and the impact of visibility. Throughout, they throw playful shade, challenge each other's logic, and reflect honestly on their journeys.

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Key Discussion Points and Insights

Bob’s $8,000 “Box” & Opening Antics (00:00–01:05)

• Bob teases Monét with a new set piece, leading to playful threats:
  • Bob (00:34): “I'm gonna come and I'm gonna beat you up with my hands.”
• They riff on the idea of security and value, poking fun at their competitiveness and willingness to go over the top for a gag.

Banter about Patreon, Fan Support, and Content Creation (01:05–02:10)

• The duo stresses how Patreon support makes their independent content possible.
• They banter about collaborators like Godoy, throwing in friendly shade and references to game night drama.

TV Tangents and Generational Differences (02:30–05:10)

• How TV spoilers, memories, and confusion over plot points can ignite a typical Sibling Rivalry debate.
• Playful competition over who does the better comedic “bit.”
  • Monét (04:28): “No, Bob, I don’t do bits like you.”

Fashion & Nostalgia: Doc Martens, College Years, and Shoes (04:39–06:52)

• A tangent into shoe nostalgia and Doc Martens, stressing quality over generations and pointing out the micro-aggressions of “trolling” each other about style.

Music, Black Artists, and Cultural Shifts (08:02–13:33)

• Long riffing on early 2000s culture: “Gasolina,” Flow Rider, Nelly, and hip-hop at the White House.
• Debate over “turning on” artists who perform for Trump or become conservative.
• More serious talk about gospel music and why it rarely appears on “top album” lists, and wrestling with internal biases about Christianity and artistry:
  • Monét (13:18): “But I have a hard time feeling bad for Christians, gotta be honest.”
  • Bob (13:25): “I’m acknowledging, this is my bias.”

Drag Race Rumors & Embarrassment (14:02–17:19)

• Bob accuses Monét of inventing Drag Race “Native American headdress” rumors.
• Honest reflection from Monét about her “darkest moment” on drag: “I was so embarrassed by that” (16:16).
• Discussion about managing image and past drag moments online.

Entry into the Main Theme: Being Slutty & Boundaries in Queer Sex Culture (18:03–21:32)

Sex Fame and Anonymity

• Bob and Monét explore logistics of bathhouse cruising and the complications of being recognized as queer celebrities.
  • Bob (18:31): "I would do a bath house... I just need to make sure no one at the bathhouse is going to be like Bob the Drag Queen."
  • Monét (18:49): "But not the gays, because all the gay celebs... they're all straight. All the celebs who go to them."

Cruising in NYC, Gym Life, and Generational Shifts

• Monét reflects on her past cruising in New York and her return to gym cruising (19:25–21:06).
• Monét details explicit gym hookups in Europe, sharing the logistics and excitement.

Ethics and Etiquette: Is Public Sex Immoral? (21:38–24:46)

• They debate the morality and risk of public sex, especially in bathrooms.
• Highlight the difference between privacy, consent, and exposure to non-participants.
  • Monét (22:06): "The only thing about it that feels immoral... is the public indecency of it. That someone might walk in who's not agreeing to be part of your thing."

Party Etiquette: Sex in Friends’ Homes (27:42–32:31)

• Extended, hilarious back-and-forth about what constitutes acceptable sexual behavior at each other's homes and parties.
• “Couples can have sex but no strangers… unless both are friends, but not hosting new people.”
• Recounting past times Bob and his partner, Jacob, have had sex staying at Monét’s, and teasing over what’s permitted under which circumstances.
  • Monét (28:21): “We had full on anal sex.”
  • Bob (28:28): “You both finished?”
  • Monét (28:29): “Right on Colleen’s treats. Oops.”

Prep, Condoms, & Sexual Health (38:05–41:05)

• Nuanced conversation about PrEP, condoms, and changing norms in queer sexual health.
  • Bob (38:05): “I was still big on using condoms for a long time, and I still do... occasionally. I do the 2-on-1 PrEP.”
  • Monét (38:28): “I use condoms.”
  • Bob: "You use condoms every time?"
    Monét: "Unless I'm with my partners, yeah.”

Sex Appointment Scheduling: Logistical Hijinks (41:14–47:15)

• Monét tells a wild story about scheduling multiple Grindr hookups and the perils of overlapping encounters—accidentally double-booking men who know each other.
  • Monét (41:33): “He was like, ‘Are you fucking daft, Chaby?!’”
• Bob admits he’d rather just line things up and, if disappointed, turn to Popeyes.

Secret Drug Use & Unexpected Hookup Surprises (47:29–51:23)

• Both share stories about discovering “secret” substance use during hookups—meth, coke, etc.—and the signs that tip them off.
• The importance of safety, securing valuables, and the thrill/nuisance of random or strange companions.
• Bob (50:36): "Was your dick hard the whole time?"
  Monét: "Yeah, the whole time! Bricked!"

Would You Go to a Sex Party... With Your Bestie? (51:23–53:15)

• Bob dreams of going to a sex party with Monét.
• Monét adamantly refuses, stating it would be too distracting:
  • Monét (52:27): “I’d be doing a bit... I wouldn’t be able to focus on the task at hand.”

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• “I'm gonna come and I'm gonna beat you up with my hands.” (Bob, 00:34)
• “I don't want to sound like an old head, but they do not make Docs like they used to.” (Bob, 04:39)
• “I have a hard time feeling bad for Christians, gotta be honest.” (Monét, 13:18)
• “Right on Colleen’s treats. Oops.” (Monét, 28:29)
• “The only thing about it that feels immoral... is the public indecency of it. That someone might walk in who's not agreeing to be part of your thing.” (Monét, 22:06)
• “I would be so annoyed.” (Monét, 32:31, reflecting the exhaustion of party etiquette debates)
• “You need to send me one of your friends whose dick looks like yours. Send them over here. They need to be here in 15 minutes.” (Monét, 40:22)
• “He was like, ‘Are you fucking daft, Chaby?!’” (Monét recounting British Grindr drama, 41:33)
• “If you can't go to a sex party with your friend, why the hell are you going with somebody else?” (Bob, 51:40)
• "I wouldn’t be able to focus on the task at hand" (Monét, 52:27, on why she wouldn't go to a sex party with Bob)

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Timestamps for Major Segments

• 00:00–01:05: Bob’s set piece, playful threats, intro banter
• 01:05–02:10: Patreon gratitude, independent content
• 02:30–05:10: TV spoilers, generational comedy “bits”
• 08:02–13:33: Music, artists in politics, gospel music’s place in culture
• 14:02–17:19: Drag Race rumors, online image management
• 18:03–21:32: Bathhouse dilemmas, anonymity, celeb sex
• 21:38–24:46: Is public sex immoral? Complex public/private debate
• 27:42–32:31: Rules of sex in friends’ homes, etiquette, house party chaos
• 38:05–41:05: PrEP, condoms, sexual health habits
• 41:14–47:15: Scheduling Grindr hookups, mishaps/multiple partners
• 47:29–51:23: Surprises in hookups, substance use, “secret crackhead” stories
• 51:23–53:15: Would you go to a sex party with your bestie? Bob vs. Monét

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Tone & Style

• Conversational, irreverent, unfiltered.
• High-energy banter with moments of vulnerability.
• Quick shifts between humor, shade, and sincerity.
• Open, sex-positive, and full of personal—and wildly entertaining—detail.

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Summary

Bob the Drag Queen and Monét X Change explore the messy, hilarious, and deeply relatable realities of "being slutty" as queer people, friends, and public figures. With lots of raunchy humor, they break down the double standards and anxieties around sex, privacy, and parties in the queer community. The episode is rich with personal stories (gym cruising, house parties, PrEP vs. condoms, secret drug users on Grindr) as well as laugh-out-loud debates on everything from Doc Martens to Drag Race rumors. They land on the idea that boundaries and fun are both essential—and that even best friends have wild limits to their wildness.

Perfect for fans who want the juiciest, funniest, and most honest sibling banter about queer sex culture on the internet.

Transcript

[A]

My name is bob the drag queen,

[B]

and I'm monet x change.

[A]

And this is simply rivalry. On this week's episode, I debut a brand new set piece.

[B]

We talk about being slutty, and we

[A]

find out what made Monet say this.

[B]

First of, where'd you hear this rumor? And they find out what made Bob say this.

[A]

I'm gonna come and I'm gonna beat you up with my hands.

[B]

You're such a clown.

[A]

Locked.

[B]

You're such a fucking clown.

[A]

Waited.

[B]

I can't.

[A]

Waited in locks.

[B]

And you think I won't steal that whole box?

[A]

Waited in locks.

[B]

You think I won't steal that whole box? I made it harder for you.

[A]

You'll never be able to get her out of there now unless you destroy my box. And you would. This box cost me $8,000.

[B]

Must be nice for security. Must be so that I can sleep

[A]

better at night knowing that my prized possession. Because I'm telling you right now, those handsome guys from the Louvre couldn't steal this. Those handsome guys from the Louvre couldn't steal this. But before we get started, I want to say something real quick like thank you so much to our patrons over on Patreon. We literally would not be able to do this podcast without you. And if you want to consider helping us create some remarkable content, um, by the way, is the. The stuff y' all give us on Patreon, it does not just fund something rivalry. This goes to fund our independent videos as well. So when you see Monet talks, when you see the big question, when you see my get ready with me, when you see Monat walks, all of that stuff is made possible because of our remarkable patrons.

[B]

So which is why we put it out on our Patreon first. For every. Y' all see everything before the world sees it.

[A]

So please, please, please consider joining our patreon. Go to patreon.com, type in sibling rivalry podcast.

[B]

I like how he looks so cute. Thank you.

[A]

Godoy made this. It's very good to on Instagram.

[B]

I love Godoy.

[A]

Godoy is the truth.

[B]

Reliable way does not lie. Talented delivers on time.

[A]

A little snarky.

[B]

A little snarky. A little shady. But I love shady during game night. Yeah. And she's always evil.

[A]

Oh, even when she's good, she's evil. If you. If you want drama at your game night, if your game nights are a little too chill. Yeah, you gotta get good away consider ask your doctor.

[B]

Goodoy is good for you. Right? For you.

[A]

Do you watch?

[B]

Do you watch Gen V?

[A]

I Watched the first season.

[B]

This new season is so good.

[A]

Is it okay? Okay, okay, okay, okay. I'll do. I'll watch it.

[B]

She's so good.

[A]

The blood girl.

[B]

The blood girl. She's popping now, right, Vi? Pop? What do you mean, pop? Like, as in like fierce or like.

[A]

She's popping like a popper now? She's a head popper now, right? No, she popped an arm. Oh, sorry. Spoiler alert. You will. Season one.

[B]

It was season one like, a year ago. It's not like Titanic. This is a show that happened a year ago.

[A]

Hey, Jay, please put this. You came out 18 years ago. You got mad.

[B]

I got spoiled a little. That you should know in the first episode about that being young him.

[A]

But you knew I was watching it for the first time.

[B]

And tell me what if you haven't

[A]

seen and you made that up, if

[B]

you haven't seen Jen. What do you mean I made it up?

[A]

It's not young him.

[B]

The boy who getting abused. Yes, that is him.

[A]

No, it's not.

[B]

No, not in the hallway. The one when he has the flashbacks. That's him as a kid.

[A]

Yeah, that's clear.

[B]

That's what I was talking about. What are you talking about?

[A]

You were saying that he was seeing the boy in the hallway, but the boy in the hallway was him, and there was never a boy in the hallway.

[B]

No, the flashbacks was him. That's why. That's why, Jake. That's why Jacob and I were like. I. I don't think that there's. Oh, no, I'm just seeing the reflection of the monitor. Yeah, put it down. So can you put it maybe just

[A]

on the floor or. Angle.

[B]

Oh, throw it away.

[A]

Even that.

[C]

That's perfect.

[B]

Perfect. Yeah.

[A]

Keep going that way. Yep. Facing Monet. So she has a look at it.

[B]

View the beauty.

[A]

That is the best pillow in the world.

[B]

Wait, so that's why Jacob and I, we don't think. I'm not spoiling anything. We were like. Yeah, obviously. You were like, No, I didn't know.

[A]

That's what. That's. I thought you were saying the boy in the hallway getting abused was a reflection of him and that he never existed. He was making it up in his mind. No, that would have been really fierce, though. That would have been a great.

[B]

So do you see why I was like, I don't think I'm spoiling anything for you.

[A]

Yeah, now I see. I thought you were. Now I see. I thought you were doing a bit.

[B]

No, Bob, I don't do bits like you.

[A]

That's not true.

[B]

You do bits, I do bits. I said not like you. You are always doing bits.

[A]

You can never do a bit. On my level.

[B]

You are always doing a bit.

[A]

You can never do a bit. Every time you.

[B]

When you wake up in the morning, you're doing bit.

[A]

Can I say something real quick? They don't make. I don't want to sound like an old head. They do not make docs like they used to.

[B]

What do you mean?

[A]

The fact that the dog. I know you like the thing, but the fact that dogs are creasing and the pleather has cracked.

[B]

These are also like 12, 15 years old. I got these when I was in high school. No, I mean college. No, I got these in college. I got these in college. I got at the Quaker Bridge Mall in New Jersey. The Quaker Bridge Mall in. You're saying Jacob lives by Quaker Bridge Mall?

[A]

Is that something you used to go to, Jacob?

[B]

Yeah, I mean that's the Princeton Mall. So like that was my middle school mall.

[A]

Why you.

[B]

Why? Every time I wear these shoes, you got something to say.

[A]

I get.

[B]

I open the car.

[A]

It's about Dr. Martin. It's not about. You look really cute. I love your outfit. I told you that.

[B]

But these shoes are me. I am shoes.

[A]

Okay, okay.

[B]

Know.

[A]

I think you look really cute. I told you I love your outfit. I told you before. I told you in there. I said, wow, I love that shirt. You look really nice.

[B]

This is the shirt. This is a shirt Taylor pulled for me. For. For me to wear on the traders.

[A]

Did you take it with you?

[B]

I did not take it with me.

[A]

Why not?

[B]

Why? Cuz I just had too. I had too much stuff. Taylor, you know how many you guys you go with? Three.

[A]

Three?

[B]

Yeah. Well, how many did you go with?

[A]

Five or maybe I didn't remember.

[B]

No, I had three.

[A]

I had three and I had to mail that hat.

[B]

Well, didn't you also forget a whole suitcase?

[A]

Yes, you forgot something. Wait, did I forget a suitcase?

[B]

You did. Because when I went there, they were like, oh, you know, like Vol Ball forgot a suitcase at home.

[C]

You did?

[B]

I had to mail you a suitcase.

[A]

And what of it? And what of it?

[B]

Yes, Doc Martens has changed the manufacturing of their mainstream boots. Shifting their product, shifting their production, shifting most of their production from UK to factories in Asia around 2003.

[A]

And when did you go to college?

[B]

I went to college in 2012. I graduated in 2012.

[A]

I went to college of the new boots.

[B]

I mean, so before 4, they didn't do this?

[A]

No. Girl, I used to have Doc Martens that I. That like now my doc Martens. I go to pull them up and, like, the whole fucking. The bootstrap will pop off. How am I supposed to pull myself above the bootstrap when the straps can't even support the boots? How is that possible?

[B]

The length. She would go to troll somebody. So we finished the last episode, and Bob runs to the other side of the studio. I don't let you. I didn't run. Okay, you sprinted.

[A]

No, because I have friends filming from. First of all.

[B]

No, you ran to this room to get. Let me finish my story. We finished the episode, and Jake went to take our pictures. Bob jaunts.

[A]

I'll take a jaunt to the other

[B]

side of the studio to open this Amazon package. He goes, this it picks it up. Then he picks up the box and runs to the other side.

[A]

I did not run. I walked at a leisurely pause.

[B]

You sprinted the other side to where your closure is.

[A]

Sha' Carri Usain Bolt.

[B]

And then I hear you whispering to something to Taylor. And then I was like, you know what? This has nothing to do with me. So I go to the other room, and lo and behold. Because you were doing some elaborate fucking thing with this. First of all, this little sheet you stuck back here looks so crunchy. You need to redo that.

[A]

It's a weight. And I covered it in the sheet so that you wouldn't see the weight. You are.

[B]

What is wrong with you? What is wrong with your brain?

[A]

There is literally nothing wrong with me.

[B]

There are several.

[A]

My brain is kicking. I'm working on all four cylinders.

[B]

I don't think so.

[A]

With gas Diesel gone.

[B]

Gasolina unta la Gasolina was that big for y'. All. Gasolina was huge in New York.

[A]

In Georgia.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

I mean, I was in New York by the time. When did Gasolina come out?

[B]

I was in high school or middle school.

[A]

I was already in New York City, probably. What year is this? 2004.

[B]

Oh, no.

[A]

I had just graduated high school. So, no, it was not big. I remember the song, but we weren't

[B]

like, obviously, New York City Flow Rider was huge.

[C]

Floating.

[B]

Flo Rida. What's a Flo Rida song?

[A]

Flo Rida had apple bottom jeans. Yeah.

[B]

Apple bottom jeans with the boots, with the fur.

[A]

Yeah. Flo Rida ate the girlies up. Nelly.

[B]

Nelly was good.

[A]

Massive Luda.

[B]

I was so disappointed when Nelly performed at the thing. When you hear that artist perform that, the White House correspondents didn't suffer. Trump, do you turn on them like Snoop Like Nelly.

[A]

Well, I mean, I've been turning on Snoop for a hot minute now because he's gotten conservative with his issues with going to see some movie like Toy Story 19. And there was no.

[B]

It was Light Year Lightyear.

[A]

Yeah. Some torture spin off.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

When they had the.

[A]

Apparently there's some lesson there. And then, and then Snoop is like,

[B]

man, I don't want, like I'm trying to take my little, my little grandson to the movies now. I gotta explain this to a man.

[A]

Meanwhile, he got women fully making out his music videos. Yes.

[B]

I mean, I don't, I, I know sometimes I don't really like no S

[A]

and double O, P, D, O, double

[B]

gz, gz gz Double GG would be gg, gg, double G. Oh, yeah. Double or be ggg double G, G. Yeah.

[A]

Or he's saying double GG or you're

[B]

saying double G G, Double G, G. Got it.

[A]

But yeah, I mean, so, I mean, I've been turned. I've been ready to turn on Snoop for a hot minute now.

[B]

But does when you hear they perform at conservative things like for Trump, does that be like, okay, I can't fuck with that person anymore.

[A]

Yeah, I was ready to be done with Jennifer Hol. Jennifer Holliday.

[B]

Oh, and she sang at the narrative. She didn't do it. She didn't.

[A]

Nope. She didn't do it. She backed out.

[B]

But no, no, the person I got on was the, was the gospel singer. Well, I got the

[A]

girlfriend. That's a gospel singer. I'm leaving. That's a gospel song.

[B]

I mean, she sang gospel music as well. No, that's not a gospel song. But the singer of it, Chrisette Michelle,

[A]

She's a gospel singer.

[B]

No, type in Chrisette Michelle. Yeah, yeah, there it is. Yeah, sorry, you were clicking it and I. You up.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

The Chrisette Michelle saying yeah. In a shocking break from the music industry anti maga stance, she was met with considerable backlash from fans and for industry periods, including request Love. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[A]

I mean, I didn't know about her, so I knew that one song about it. I didn't, I didn't know it was her. I never, I don't follow. I don't follow gossip, but I haven't followed.

[B]

She's more R B than gospel. She's an R B singer that had some gospel songs.

[A]

Yeah. I would say the last God song I know is when Jesus said yes. And before that it was Shirley Caesar.

[B]

No, they sing Stomp all the time.

[A]

Shelley Caesar. Stop around the same time. And Kirk Franklin surely season stump around the same time, though.

[B]

Surely Caesar is old because he's like from the agency.

[A]

Was still making music when. When in. In the. In the early 2000, late 90s.

[B]

Yeah, I think. But I think when you say Shirley Caesar, as a black gospel listeners, I'm thinking. You thinking like, oh, surely Caesar.

[A]

I wasn't alive then.

[B]

I was listening to that.

[A]

But. But when I was in high school, she was still making music.

[B]

Got it.

[A]

And she probably music now, but she was. She was still making hits in the 90s. Late 90s.

[B]

Yeah, for sure.

[A]

Obviously. The new project or the New nation. The new nation is one of the best. Franklin is one of the best albums of all time. Top 40, easy.

[B]

You know when they do those like lists of like artists or greatest album or whatever, like miseducation. Lauryn Hill, like a few years ago was like the best.

[A]

It's iTunes. Number one album of all time.

[B]

Apple music. Apple music. Your old raggedy crickety crunchy itunes. Old ass millennial talking about some itunes, you raggedy crypto. Shut the up. Itunes.

[A]

It still exists.

[B]

No.

[A]

Yes, it does. No, because when you go to the. You can, you can write. Because I do this when I'm djing. You can right click and say show on itunes.

[B]

It's Apple Music, Jacob.

[A]

But itunes does still exist. Itunes is going places. Not to the grave.

[B]

Is it back to being an ice.

[A]

Apologize to me. No. Look in the camera. Say. Can you at least say you were

[B]

wrong, I was wrong about that?

[A]

Yes, you were wrong.

[B]

But. So what's the delineation between itunes and Apple music?

[A]

Apple music is a streaming platform like Spotify, and itunes is where you go to buy music. If you want to buy the MP3, you'll go over.

[B]

Jacob doesn't have my music purchase.

[A]

Wow. Jacob, you'll go over to.

[B]

Good to know the other one.

[A]

You'll go over to itunes if you want to buy it.

[B]

Got it. Yeah. But when they do those lists, right. They never. There's never any gospel music on there. Why is that? Gospel music is never on the list. It's never in one of the. It's never in any. You don't ever see anything. We've had people who've made sizable contributions from the gospel community. Donna McClurklan, Yolanda Adams. I feel like a lot of people who like, you know, she's. Especially in black households. I know for me. Was she being in your black household

[A]

growing up usually on Adams? Yeah.

[B]

Yeah. But I feel like there's never any gospel on those lists.

[A]

I Mean, I don't care. There are great singers, though.

[B]

Great singers.

[A]

But I have a hard time feeling bad for Christians. Gotta be honest.

[B]

But you know, people who are Christian.

[A]

This is my bias.

[B]

Got it?

[A]

I'm acknowledging. This is my bias.

[B]

Got it.

[A]

And I'm not saying the artistry is not good, but, like, the message kind of stinks.

[B]

But you just. You just said the whole thing about the. About the New Nation.

[A]

It is a brilliant album, so you

[B]

don't have a problem hating on that one.

[A]

Why.

[B]

Why is that one different for you?

[A]

I think the New Nation connected for me because I was Christian at the time. And also I think that we enjoy the times.

[B]

To see my Mackie girl.

[A]

Oh, you do share.

[B]

Oh, no. Monet doing Cherry. Remember when Drag Race maybe put on a. Put on a Native American headdress?

[A]

I heard that they gave you an option. You said. And you said, y'.

[B]

All.

[A]

He's lying. I'm just saying he's lying. No, no. Can I say. Can I say what I heard? Can I just say the rumor?

[B]

First of all, where did you hit this rumor?

[A]

I just don't wonder where you're fucking so funny.

[B]

Can't you say the rumor? Sure.

[A]

Someone from your season told me this rumor.

[B]

And who.

[A]

I don't want to break their anonymity because they're afraid of you. This person's afraid of you. And you know who's afraid, and you

[B]

know why they're afraid of you. I don't have no idea who he's talking about.

[A]

You don't want me to break the news because you know what you've done to them in the past.

[B]

I'm telling you to break the news.

[A]

No, because what you've done to them because you're. I know that if I say it, you'll go and attack her.

[B]

You know, I promise I won't. Tell me who it is.

[A]

And then she said you would say that.

[B]

Tell us.

[A]

She said you would say that. And she said that you. You cornered her. And when you were at a club one time and you said. And if you ever say anything to anybody, even if I give them permission to say it, I'm gonna come and I'm gonna beat you up with my hands.

[B]

So you see, for all, when y' all go up on these diatribes about how I be lying, this fucking. This fucking purple people eater over here is literally making up this whole. Has fabricated this whole story.

[A]

This is what they told me. Me. But I'm the.

[B]

I would direct the camera, but I'm the Liar. When this is making up, this is

[A]

what this person told me.

[B]

You're talking so fool.

[A]

Anyway, what she said was. She said that they gave you an option between doing share at the Grammys. And then they had the Native American. This is crazy, because I can't believe my best friend did this. They had the Native American one, and then someone said, no, we shouldn't, and you said, no, I want that one. And they said, no, we think you said, no, I want that one.

[B]

In the reality, when Drag Race is just full of choices, you get to choose whatever you want. Is that the time of Drag Race they were operating in?

[A]

That's what they said.

[B]

Cultural appropriation. This is what we never heard. Cultural appropriation. That wasn't even a word.

[A]

I ate the challenge up.

[B]

But you know what was? Piggyback behind us. What? One of my darkest moments in my drag career.

[A]

What? That outfit. That outfit. That outfit is so iconic.

[B]

It is, Dave. It's my darkest moment. I'm not gonna say I wanted to unalive myself. I was almost there.

[A]

I'm not laughing. That's not a fun. I'm not.

[B]

I was so embarrassed by that.

[A]

I gotta say, like, so when you

[B]

say it's not there, you know, you know, which I have scrubbed. I have Beyonce and Jay Z. That image, it is scrubbed from the Internet. You will not find it on Instagram.

[A]

Why is it not in your relatable?

[B]

Because I have scrubbed it from the Internet.

[A]

That's not possible.

[B]

It is possible. But, honey, that's. Cause you don't have Brett Green on your team.

[A]

Yes, you do.

[B]

Oh, yeah, you do.

[A]

I had him before you had him. Brett's been my lawyer for literally, for years. But my question is, like, why is it out of this video, too?

[B]

It's out.

[A]

That's not possible.

[B]

Oh, my God.

[A]

Oh, my God. Oh, my God. It's really not that bad, Monet. I don't understand what your problem with this outfit is. I don't understand what you. I hate that outfit. I don't understand what your problem with that outfit is.

[B]

I hate that outfit. The makeup is ugly. That stupid plastic head wig I wore was ugly. My body. My proportion of my body look crazy.

[A]

The only thing that penis is out. You did untucked early. Who's that queen that don't tuck in Canada? You said, watch this.

[B]

You know you paved the way for her. We have to do a civic rivalry. Best of this year. Because I was so. The other day, I was just on our TikTok watching all moments when we talk about me and the wigs. And you talk about me defending the.

[A]

Let me tell you something. I said where you go. Let me tell y' all something. Fuck Jacob. Listen, y', all, we're going to take a quick break, and if you don't want to miss a break, you know what to do. Go over to patreon, type in simplemoreviewpodcast.com, type in simplewriterpodcast, and never get a break on this podcast ever again.

[B]

And if you don't, Bob is really going to shoot you because you are this goddamn finger. We'll be right back.

[A]

You are such a hater. We're back. You will put yourself through discomfort just

[B]

to squash my bit, to try to

[A]

crush my bits, you freak.

[B]

So, Bob, I know that you know. Is there a world.

[A]

Yeah, we live on it.

[B]

Is there a world in which, in any iteration of your life, maybe when you get older, if a partner really wanted you to, that you would do, like a cruising bath house situation.

[A]

I would do a bath house. Okay, but it has to be. But like, we need to prevent. I just need to make sure that no one at the bathhouse is going to be like Bob the Dragon. I don't want that.

[B]

Well, you can. There's no way you can prevent that.

[A]

I don't know. Maybe. Well, what are these fucking parties? There are celebrities who can go to fucking sex. Sex parties. Then there's got to be one where people are cool.

[B]

But not the gays, because all the.

[A]

All the gay celebs, they're all straight. All the celebs who go to them.

[B]

Yeah, all the gay. To do stuff. I have heard that they've been at them and I've like. Like, I'm not. Please bleep these names. People talk about it exactly. Like, you hear about the gay ones.

[A]

Who's the last one you hear about?

[B]

The gay ones. But the straight ones you don't hear about.

[A]

Just say one of their names.

[C]

No.

[A]

Okay. You don't have to.

[B]

You. You've never heard of the gay ones?

[A]

Not really, no. To be honest, I don't doubt it. But I've never. But I've never heard it.

[B]

So interesting to me. Well, you know, they're cracking down on the gays in New York.

[A]

What do you mean? Oh, the cruising.

[B]

The cruising.

[A]

I've heard about this.

[B]

The cruising. And I mean, I grew up in New York city in the 2000s, early 2000s. I cruise a lot in New York City.

[A]

I know it makes you uncomfortable.

[B]

I mean, I did, and it was part of my past. I Don't.

[A]

I mean, I.

[B]

Right now in my life, I cruise. I have come back to cruising at gym.

[A]

Cruising doesn't make me uncomfortable. The age you were when you were

[B]

cruising in high school. Yeah, it was crazy.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

That's what makes me uncomfortable. Not the cruise cruising itself. I have no qualms with cruising.

[B]

Yeah. I've come back to cruise because I had given up cruising for a while. Ever since drag race. But in the past, like, year, I've been into my cruising bag at gyms. Cruising at the gym. H. So hot. You at the gym? You do get pissing. Europe.

[A]

So you hooked up in a gym?

[B]

Yeah, in a.

[A]

Yes, in a sauna.

[B]

Not in a sauna. Just.

[A]

No, right there on the breast. Like, right there on the fly master. Legs already open on the Stairmaster. Climb up behind and tag this ass.

[B]

No, we most recently was in Europe. We were both at the gym, and we were. It was a Sunday. Making eye contact. Like, clearly there's a thing. I saw him on Grindr as well. I was like, okay. And we were like. We tapped on Grind. We didn't say anything, but I realized it was the person I attacked. And eyes. And he. It was like after, like, 30 minutes, I saw him going upstairs to the locker room. I was like, I'm going to go, too. And then he was by the urinal. I was by the urinal. Then he went to the other side. There's like, a little secret part. And we. Like the little.

[A]

What was a rakakao?

[B]

A little oral.

[A]

Both are, one way or the other. Yeah. Andy was. Andy would talk about gym cruising. Y' all ever gym cruise together? You both gym cruise?

[B]

No.

[A]

Is it like your own separate things?

[B]

I mean, I'm not opposed to it, but we just have it.

[A]

No, but Andy would talk about Jim Cruz, and I'd be like, why? I just don't want to deal with, like, I'm already getting on Grindr. You were robbed on traitors.

[B]

If someone's looking for. If someone's looking for cruising for sex, I don't think they.

[A]

I've had friends who've had it happen to them.

[B]

That was Laila, but it happened. I don't. In my experience, I have not experienced this. Yes, I've hooked up with people and. But they will say in messages, and I just block. I move on. I'm not meeting up with them.

[A]

I don't mind looking at someone who knows who I am. I don't need to be some anonymous person to you. That's not part of my prerequisite yeah, prerequisite.

[B]

Prerequisite.

[A]

Prerequisite. But not someone who's gonna be fangirling. That's not fun.

[B]

Do you think that. Do you think that the people getting caught for like, do you think it's bad? Do you think it's immoral having sex in the Pensation bathroom?

[A]

This is such a complicated answer.

[B]

I'm listening.

[A]

The short answer is, do you have

[B]

frames in your glasses?

[A]

No.

[B]

Okay. It's just the green from the sides. Okay, got it. I couldn't say.

[A]

The short answer is yes, but the long answer is like, whatever. Like, is that a weird stance?

[B]

I don't think it's weird. I guess the only thing about it that feels immoral to me a is the public indecency of it. That someone might walk in. Someone who is not agreeing to be a part of your thing.

[A]

But you're in a stall. You're not fucking at the urinal.

[B]

But you've seen the under stall ones. I've seen TikTok. TikToks Twitter videos of people having sex under stall, which. That blows my mind. The people who did for two reasons, understall.

[A]

Oh, the floor of the bathroom is insane.

[B]

It is so nasty in public bathrooms. That's the one part. And the second of it is like, anyone can. Like, what if someone just walking. You just see someone like on their knees at the bottom jerking like. That's the crazy part to me.

[A]

Do you know that podcast was two straight guys?

[B]

Stradio Lab.

[A]

No, backyard. Basement.

[B]

Basement. The. The basement yard.

[A]

Do you know the black one?

[B]

There's a black guy in it or

[A]

he's mixed or something.

[B]

I thought they were both two Italian people.

[A]

Maybe I thought he was black. He looked black to me.

[B]

Who's black?

[A]

Maybe it's not the basement yard. Oh, no, it's not the basement yard. It's a different one. Oh, it's two straight guys.

[B]

I'm not helping at all.

[A]

TikTok straight guy. Anyway. Wait, Tick Tock straight. Oh, yeah, that could be.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

No, type it in regardless happen. Type in straight guys. Tick Tock podcast. Black and white one's black one's white.

[B]

Desus and Miro.

[A]

And one of them is like really stupid and never knows this with these two. See which one?

[C]

This one. The first one.

[A]

Yeah, they're all the same one. These are all the same podcast. Do you know, first of all, I've always thought that this one is hot. He's like mixed or something.

[B]

He's tall. So I'm already in. It's called the you should know podcast.

[A]

How do you know it's all.

[B]

Yeah, I can tell he's tall, girl.

[A]

I was about to tell you. He's like six. Eight.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Or six. Six.

[B]

I can tell. Do you know why he's putting. He's putting his ankle on his thing and his knee is at his head. Girl.

[A]

But he's proportion. No, obviously he's not. Talk to the mic, please. We're doing a podcast.

[B]

He's putting his ankle up and his knee is up here. Like that's tall.

[A]

But yeah, he, I, I was watching a podcast about them. He's, he's talking about how he's. He's always saying something that's kind of not super smart. Tbh. Like he could beat up a bear. I could take a look. I could take a mountain lion.

[B]

I believe that.

[A]

And they're like, no, you can't take him out. Like he goes. I could easily come out in line.

[B]

I believe that.

[A]

You think you could take him outline?

[B]

He can anyway, my man.

[A]

I was like, I was always talking to myself, he's hot. And then I got the six, six or something and I was like, oh, now see what Mone's talking about. See, he got like four extra points. He's a 12 at this point. We should have them here. What's the name of the podcast? Jacob?

[B]

You should know. You should know, you should know podcast. What's up?

[A]

Are they LA based? We should have them here. You should know. Hey guys. Tag the you should know guys.

[B]

So back to the cruising thing. So that's the part of it that's weird to me is like cruising Rathro. I don't think it's bad, but when you. If I stumb. And I am not choosing to engage in this now, I'm forced to see your penis or your hole or something when I had nothing. I have nothing to do with the cruising. So that's the public part of it. That is dicey.

[A]

Yeah, I guess because I've never seen anyone cruising in a spot that wasn't like the ran. Like only time I've ever seen people cruising was like going to the meat rack in Fire island or the dick deck on a cruise ship or you seen people cruising.

[B]

You never walked into a bathroom, into a public bathroom. You see a man at the stall peeing for way longer and you happen to leave and come back and he's still in the bathroom. Bitch, he is cruising.

[A]

Well, I pee so quickly that usually there's someone peeing. There's usually already someone peeing. And Then when I leave, they're still peeing. That's almost every time I go to the bathroom.

[B]

Oh, no, I've definitely went to the bathroom, and I've seen someone. I know. You're cruising or. Or like. Or like, you.

[C]

Or.

[B]

It's a type of bath when you walk in and the door opens and then you see people just, like, separate really quickly. I've definitely seen that for sure.

[A]

Maybe I'm just not, like, aware of my surroundings. I'm just not paying attention. Is that possible? Maybe I'm just, like, really just not locked in to what's going on around me.

[B]

Oh, yeah, I'm definitely. I've definitely watched on people cruising.

[A]

Maybe because you're cruising too. So you know what? Cruising. You know what it's like to cruise.

[B]

Yeah, maybe. Yeah.

[A]

I mean, I'm not.

[B]

I'm typically not cruising in a bathroom because I think. I just think the sanitation of it all is so nasty to me.

[A]

Okay, so. Okay, so is it. Is it weird that you're saying, like, the idea of someone cruising in the bathroom is, like, shade. In case you don't approve of. But you cruise at the back of the gym and what if someone stumbled around the corner and caught y' all sleeping each other off?

[B]

But we were in, like, a private little bathroom thing, like a shower?

[A]

But I'm saying, what if.

[B]

I mean, yeah, I guess by that, sure, but, like, we're, like, we're going the extra mile. We're not just doing it on the floor. You walk and you see, we're, like, in, like, a shower stall that is completely concealed.

[A]

I guess I just don't think about it that much, so it's not that big of a deal to me. So it's not really a big concern for me. But I think if I sit down long enough with the thought of cruising in a public bathroom, I would probably be against it, but I've just never really sat long enough to actually think about it, to be honest.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And. And that led me to another question I want to ask you. You asked about cruising in the bathrooms. Cruising in the bathrooms. Fuck.

[B]

Understall.

[A]

No, it's gone. It's gone, Bob. You see?

[B]

Do this. I told you. Do this.

[A]

It's gone.

[B]

This saves the movie.

[A]

I've been holding on to it for a minute. It was back before we talk about the podcast. It was. It was like when we first started talking about this.

[B]

This.

[A]

We're cruising. It's fine. We got to move on our sl. The gy. It's gone, guys. It's gone. It's gone. It might come back. The gym.

[B]

The gym.

[A]

You said the gym. Oh, you were jogging my memory.

[B]

Yeah, I was not joking. Your memory. Wait, Jacob. My. My backyard. I'm cruising my backyard. Yeah, like, if somebody else is cruising in your backyard, is that cool? No, not in my backyard.

[A]

Hell no.

[B]

Why? Y. Y. Y' all know something I don't know?

[A]

Can. Can I not have sex at your house?

[B]

No. Even when we have people over, they're not allowed to hook up. In my home.

[A]

People are. If you have a couple staying in your home, they're not allowed to have sex.

[B]

No, no. A couple can. Yes, but like, let's say, for example,

[A]

so can I have sex in your home?

[B]

If you and Jacob were there? Yeah, yeah, sure.

[A]

We have. Anyway, so it doesn't matter.

[B]

I know you haven't. Yes, we have.

[A]

When. When we stayed there during. When we stayed there during the fire.

[B]

And what. And what do y' all do?

[A]

We had full on anal sex.

[B]

Anal sex. Was there oral involved?

[A]

Well, of course. Beforehand.

[B]

Did you finish?

[A]

And there was also a little bit of nipple torture.

[B]

Did you finish?

[A]

We both finished.

[B]

You both finished?

[A]

Right on. Colleen's treats.

[B]

O.

[A]

Sorry.

[B]

Like, for example, Jasmine to stay over at our place. And she's like, can I, can I, can I, Can I host?

[A]

I was like, no, no, that's crazy. You can't have a stranger in my home.

[B]

Yeah, like, no.

[A]

You know, especially a stranger and be like, is this Monet's house?

[B]

Like, yeah, like, no, you can host in my home.

[A]

No, that's crazy.

[B]

That's crazy.

[A]

But, but, but couples can have sex.

[B]

Yeah, for sure.

[A]

Because I'm like. I'm like, that's, that's, that's. That would be crazy.

[B]

Two people, you know, who, who aren't a couple. Say again? If it's two people, you know, who aren't a couple. If it's two people I know who are not a couple. Like, what if Jasmine wanted to host

[A]

and Pat and Patrick and they were turned on by each other? Can they fuck?

[B]

Oh, yeah.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

I know. I know most people. Yeah, but they're not bringing a foreign agent into my home. No.

[A]

So if me and one of your friends at a game night hit it off, I can go to the bedroom. Just make it happen real quick.

[B]

No, no, no, no.

[A]

Make it happen.

[B]

I don't know. If you're. You're staying in my home. That's different. No, you take. Take Patty back to your house.

[A]

Okay, so if you're having a friend from out of town.

[C]

Over.

[B]

Huh?

[A]

And I hit it off with them.

[B]

Take them back to your house.

[A]

They're staying with you. They're not. You're changing the rules.

[B]

I can change the rules in my

[A]

house, but how am I able to keep up with the rules if you are changing them? Ask within. You change them within a second. Ask.

[B]

But, you know, because you're outlaying different scenarios.

[A]

No, you said, if you're staying at

[B]

my house, but you're not staying at my house. I thought this is.

[A]

I thought it was a universal you. I didn't mean, like, literally you.

[B]

Yeah, like, if dejuan is staying at my home.

[A]

Did he answer on me? I don't know.

[B]

Text him.

[A]

He didn't ask. That's okay. You can say no.

[B]

Bob, I have given you.

[A]

I have told you, you can say no. It's okay.

[B]

I have told you so many times what to do. You're choosing not to.

[A]

It's okay. You say no. Continue.

[B]

Anyways, if dejuan is staying at my home and you were at a game that y'. All and y' all hit it off, go back to your house and fuck.

[A]

We're fucking in your bedroom.

[B]

In my bedroom.

[A]

We're going upstairs. Why can't so. You gotta. So dejuan can fuck any of your other friends?

[B]

No, you just said.

[A]

Monet. We just laid out scenario. So Jasmine Rice and Patty can, but me and dejuan can't.

[B]

Cause I thought the scenario was, like, they're both staying at home.

[A]

Patrick lives here.

[B]

No, I thought the scenario, like, they're both staying in my home.

[A]

No, Patrick lives in la. Like, in real life. Go to Patty's house and fuck.

[B]

I don't want to hear Patty fucking in my house.

[A]

You won't hear it. You live upstairs.

[B]

The game night is happening.

[A]

We're all.

[B]

We're all hearing it.

[A]

Game night is over. When everyone's saying good night, I'm just not getting in my car and leaving. I'm just going to the room.

[B]

Okay, well, that's it. Here's what I thought. You were laying out while playing Secret Hitler. You're guilty. You die. You're dying.

[A]

Then Patty like that.

[B]

And y' all gonna go fuck in the room while we're all in the living room. No, that's. That's crazy to me.

[A]

Okay. That I. I agree. Like, okay, how about this?

[B]

But here's a scenario I'm nervous about, right? We wanna do a big.

[A]

A big.

[B]

A little party soon, like a nighttime party, like DJs, blah, blah, blah. Blah. I'm like. I'm those about people trying to like go in rooms and fuck.

[A]

I've done that at people's houses before.

[B]

Have you really?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

That's so inappropriate.

[A]

I'll tell you how they did it one time.

[B]

Who? Ah, yeah.

[A]

Believe that. Let's take a break.

[C]

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[A]

Close your eyes, exhale. Feel your body relax and let go of whatever you're carrying today.

[C]

Well, I'm letting go of the worry that I wouldn't get my new contacts in time for this class. I got them delivered free from 1, 800 contacts. Oh my gosh, they're so fast.

[A]

And breathe.

[C]

Oh, sorry. I almost couldn't breathe when I saw the discount they gave me on my first order. Oh, sorry. Namaste.

[B]

Visit 1-800-contacts.com today to save on your first order. 1-800-contacts. Damn. You see, see, this is why I can't have. I would be so annoyed.

[A]

It was just fucking. We didn't come with anything. And we're back. Oh no, keep that in.

[B]

You see, this is why I can't. Also, I've been to a few parties recently now. So I'm like. My big thing about having a party at my house is the no shoes thing. But I've been to. I went to a party afters at Halloween. It was a no shoes afters and everyone obeyed. Everyone put all the shoes outside. It was not a problem. It was great.

[A]

I think if the party's big enough, you gotta roll your carpets up and just clean the floor the next day. No, I honestly feel like for me, if the party is big enough, if it's like, if it's a nice. If it's like a nice party, just literally roll up your carpet and just clean your floors the next day.

[B]

No, no,

[A]

that's what I would do.

[B]

No, I wouldn't do that.

[A]

I would just take the carpet out of the living room and you'd be like, all right, it's fine. Everyone just walk around. No, someone's gonna have 20 pounds of shoes at the door.

[B]

That's what this was a part. It was an after party. There was like at least 40 people there.

[A]

Y' all were high. Y' all would do anything. You were a minute.

[B]

I was high.

[A]

It was an afters. It was an afters.

[B]

I went to Kane.

[A]

Are you hired?

[B]

Every afters you go to. Thank you.

[A]

But at least drunk you're not. No one is sober at an afters. No one of the afters is in there. Is in their right. Their perfect state of mind.

[B]

Have you ever. Have you ever gone to an afters?

[A]

No.

[B]

Exactly. So how would you know what's going

[A]

on in the after? But I'm right, though.

[B]

He got a little drunk.

[A]

I've gone to Netflix before.

[B]

It's also. I was so tired. So here's the thing. So I went to the Halloween.

[A]

I want to go more on the scenarios about the. I'm trying to crack the code to have sex in your home.

[B]

This is what a sex talk is about. Why are we going to lay out every scenario?

[A]

I want to just make sure. I want to make sure I'm following the rules next time I fuck in your home.

[B]

You're not fucking in my home.

[A]

I already have.

[B]

Who?

[A]

Jacob. You said if you're partners and you're staying over now, you can have sex. So you've already cleared. That was okay.

[B]

But you're doing a vid. Did you and Jacob really have sex in our house?

[A]

Yes.

[B]

Jacob. Jacob, tell me the truth. Cluck, cluck.

[A]

You're lying.

[B]

I don't believe y'. All.

[A]

We didn't have Anna. We just sucked. He gave me a blowjob.

[B]

Okay, that's different.

[A]

That's different. But you just said that it doesn't matter because it's overnight and we're a couple.

[B]

Yeah, that was fine.

[A]

So it doesn't matter if we're fucking.

[B]

Yeah, that was fine.

[A]

It doesn't matter if I'm chaining him to the bed. Okay?

[B]

No. Cause now you're damaging my bed.

[A]

No, I'm tying him to the bed. Sorry. Not chaining him.

[B]

Okay, yeah, see, that's a very big distinction.

[A]

I would not harm you. I would not harm your furniture. Not on purpose. Not on purpose.

[B]

I'm about to say.

[A]

I've never harmed your furniture. I broke one chair at DragCon, and it wasn't your chair.

[B]

It was my chair.

[A]

No, it was not your chair.

[B]

It was my chair.

[A]

That was not your chair. And I knew you were thinking about the fucking Cherry Dragon. The couch at DragCon. I know this is what you were thinking about. I know, you bitch. I know how you think. I know how you play the game.

[B]

You played the right one.

[A]

Okay? So let's say. Oh, God. Arcia and her partner Shantae are staying in town.

[B]

Uh huh.

[A]

With you.

[B]

At my home.

[A]

So they can have sex.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

Right now. Can Arcia and Shanta leave in the middle of game night and have sex?

[B]

I mean, they could. That would be really bad form. And really, really.

[A]

You might not even know they did it.

[B]

What?

[A]

You might not even know. Bob, if.

[B]

If two people are missing from game night, we're going to notice. We'll be like, oh, bitch. When someone goes to the bathroom, everyone's like, oh, my God.

[A]

Where's Jac? What if they say we are having an argument and we. I'm sorry. Right now, me and Shantae are. We need to go figure something out. So they're using that as a guise, but they're actually not arguing. They just want to go fuck.

[B]

Well, that's different because now you're lying. Right. So now.

[A]

So what does it matter? But you'll never know.

[B]

No, but now. But I will find out. Because Arcia and I. She will tell me later and I'll be annoyed, but I'm like, why did you lie?

[A]

Because she wanted to fuck. And she didn't want to say, hey, guys, I'm going to fuck.

[B]

Okay, you have to announce it to the room. Like, Kevin, me.

[A]

But then. But then you're gonna be like, oh, what's going on? See, we're trying to lower the suspicion from the. What's going on? Where. Where are you guys? And just bring it back to, like, you know, they're. They're having a little couple's quarrel. They're. They're having a quarrel. It's okay. It's not a big deal.

[B]

But I don't think if they were having the coral. They're not announcing it. Let's be practical. They're not saying, like, guys, Shantae and I are. Are fighting.

[A]

We staged the fight in the middle.

[B]

So now. So now you're helping them come up with this rumor?

[A]

I would help them if they told me. If they told me, we have to release our sexual frustration right now. We have to fuck.

[B]

I have to come. First of all, they're gonna be. It's gonna take a long time.

[A]

If. If Arcia came to me and said, I am in a sexual crisis, Bob, can you help me? I would help her. And then I would. I would. I would instigate a fight between the two of them. And then it would get so heated it would have to leave and they come back in a good mood.

[B]

Dude, what are you Fucking Robin faggot. Are you fucking helping the needy people who need to fucking help you?

[A]

Yeah. Taking from the rich, taking from the people who have too much, and giving it to the people who need a little bit. So, yes, I am.

[B]

When you do this, knowing this is a big thumb pointed right back at your ass. Cause it's you.

[A]

My thumb is.

[B]

That's a big thumb.

[A]

Proportion to my hand.

[B]

Big thumb.

[A]

It's not proportion to my hand. You tell my thumb looks bigger than the, compared to my hand.

[B]

Ask the audience. That's a big thumb, like, compared to my little thumb.

[A]

You're doing this.

[B]

I know I was doing this.

[A]

Yes, you are.

[B]

Now you putting yours.

[A]

Get your big ass hands, big fucking meaty paws, gnarled fingers down.

[B]

Gorgeous. Glamorous. Do you think that things like pep and doxy pepper make people. Yes, I do too. And like, for a long. I was still big on abusing condoms for a very long time, and I still do.

[A]

Oh, you're done.

[B]

Occasionally I do, depending on the circumstances. It is because I do the, I do the two on one. I don't do the prep every day. Which one do you do?

[A]

I use condoms.

[B]

So you don't take prep?

[A]

No.

[B]

Oh, really? You use condoms every time you have sex?

[A]

Yeah, unless I'm with my partners either.

[B]

With partners.

[A]

Unless I'm partners.

[B]

But aren't y' all all. But, but if your partners are having sex with other people, you don't feel the need to.

[A]

Why use cons with other people?

[B]

But I'm saying. But if you're, but your partners are having other sex and they usually come on other people too. Yeah, but when y' all all have sex. But when you.

[A]

We don't all have sex together.

[B]

But when you're, when you and your two partners have sex, y' all don't share condoms with each other. But they don't. But they use condoms with other people.

[A]

Yeah, you just use condoms when you go out of the, when you go out of the cue.

[B]

Oh, out of the cue. Got it.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

So can I ask this question, Jacob? Does Mac use condoms with other people?

[A]

You know, that's not my business.

[B]

I, I, I just, I literally said, can I ask the questions?

[A]

You know, I don't think that can.

[B]

Okay, interesting.

[A]

Well, what do y' all do y' all just be raw dogging in the world?

[B]

No, we use, well, we're both on prep and we don't use condoms with each other. No. What about other people? I, I, it's like, so I'm, I'm Gonna do two on one. I'm not the everyday, so that's why. Do you know how that works?

[A]

No.

[B]

If you. With this prep. If I'm gonna. If I know. If I know I'm gonna have anal sex Today, I take two, 24 hours before that, I take one the day, the one the next day.

[A]

Jesus, man.

[B]

It's a two on one thing. So that's how I am in the end of the world. But let's say I forgot to do that.

[A]

What if you.

[B]

I would. I'll use a condom.

[A]

So. Okay. How soon in advance? You have to take the two between

[B]

24 hours and best case scenario, 24 hours. Worst case scenario, at least two hours before you have sex with a person.

[A]

So what if you go to have sex with someone or you plan it, you take the pills, they cancel. I'm mad now. I wasted two pills.

[B]

Yeah, but. Yeah.

[A]

Has that happened to you?

[B]

Yeah, for sure.

[A]

I'm upset. You need to send a replacement dick.

[B]

I mean, but here, you know, you

[A]

need to send me one of your friends whose dick looks like yours. Send them over here. They need to be here in 15 minutes.

[B]

I've told you this before. I stack my appointments. And that's why sometimes I run into some accidents. Like people.

[A]

That is, by the way, that is crazy.

[B]

In London. It happened in London. So I had. I got three, four.

[C]

Three?

[A]

You had three? That's crazy. I had three.

[B]

I hooked up with one person. Boom. The second person came and then he. He was just like talking too much. He was taking too much time. Like, I allotted like an hour. We're in like an hour and 20 minutes. And the other guy was texting me. Like, my phone was like. He was like, hey, what's upstairs? I wasn't responding. I didn't want to look obvious. And when he finally left, I was like, hey, sorry, I was just in the shower. I didn't realize. My phone. I apologize and come back. He's like, nah, I saw somebody leave your flat. But I was like, what are you talking about? They just come out the building. They'll come from right here.

[A]

You're such a liar.

[B]

He's like, yo, I'm not stupid. I saw the person leaving the building.

[A]

The guy's from New York. That's how you talk?

[B]

No, he's with his British accent.

[A]

And I was like, babes, I'm not fucking dumb. You think I'm daft? Do you think I'm fucking daft?

[B]

Literally?

[A]

And I was like, they love daft. I don't really know What? I think daft is just dumb.

[B]

Yeah?

[A]

Yeah. And I was like, are you fucking daft, Chaby?

[B]

Very chabby. And I was like, you're bugging. I was like, he literally was not. He was like, bruv, I know him. And then he said the name and I gagged.

[A]

He ate you up with that one.

[B]

I gagged.

[A]

He was like, charlie.

[B]

I gagged, Bob.

[A]

I was like, how the fuck did

[B]

they know each other? I gagged.

[A]

He said, we got the same type. We always run into. It's like auditions in New York City. We're always going out for the same part. Charlie is. He said his name.

[B]

I hope you get it this time. I hope you get it. When he said his name, I wish there was a camera on my face. My mouth was lit, my jaw drop.

[A]

I was like, did he still come up?

[B]

He still came up, but he played. He came in the game. He's like, no, I'm not coming. I'm not coming. Then 10 minutes. Hit it. He was like, all right, I'm coming up and see us now.

[A]

He should have told Charlie to come back up to double team.

[B]

Actually, Charlie wasn't great, so I wasn't really, like. I was ready for it to be over, to be honest.

[A]

But he liked talking, though. He probably had emotions. I was like, girl, get me out of your room. We just had sex.

[B]

How?

[A]

You gotta get outta here.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

Oh, my God. That was great.

[B]

Yeah, that was a lot of fun.

[A]

What are you doing tonight?

[B]

Actually, I'm meeting up with some friends for dinner. Some friends? Some friends of mine.

[A]

Oh, so you have friends here in London?

[B]

Yeah, I'm visiting from out of town. I come here often for words.

[A]

I can tell by the accent.

[B]

Oh, thank you.

[A]

I'm from out of town, too. I'm not from London. Where y' all gonna eat?

[B]

At this place in Soho.

[A]

Oh, wait, wait. I know a lot of. I can give you recommendations. What kind of food are y' all looking for?

[B]

No, she already showed up with the restaurant.

[A]

Oh. I can tell you if it's good. What's the name of it?

[B]

I don't really. That feels. I don't really need to tell you where we're going. That feels weird.

[A]

Oh, I just wanted to tell you

[B]

if it's good or not. It's a little weird.

[A]

Okay, my bad, my bad, my bad.

[B]

So what are you doing?

[A]

Huh?

[B]

What are you doing tonight?

[A]

Oh, probably going out tonight. Oh, Work. Probably going out with my friends. Hang out with my friends.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

You know, I just moved to London recently, so Actually, it's been kind of crazy. I got here, I met this really. First of all.

[B]

Oh, shit.

[A]

What?

[B]

I realized I'm like 30 minutes. I need to get in the shower when I leave right now, so you probably.

[A]

Oh, go ahead.

[B]

No, you can't stay in my apartment while I do it.

[A]

I'm sorry.

[B]

You can't stay in. No, you have to. You have to.

[A]

What do you think I'm gonna steal or something?

[B]

I didn't say you're gonna steal, but I know that I'm taking stuff in there with you. I'm not comfortable with me showering your

[A]

stuff in the shower.

[B]

I'm comfortable you saying here when I need to get in the shower. So you have to.

[A]

So you were comfortable when I was inside of your anus? Let me be clear. When I was in your anus?

[B]

Yeah. Cause that felt good. Now this feels bad.

[A]

Why?

[B]

Cause I don't feel.

[A]

You're being weird, man.

[B]

No, you're being fucking weird.

[A]

I'm being weird?

[B]

Yeah. No, you're being fucking weird. You have to get your shit and get the fuck out of the flat now. Do you want me to call 911?

[A]

There's no 911 here. So who's he gonna go to? Who's he gonna go to?

[C]

Police.

[B]

Cops here in London call the police.

[A]

First of all.

[B]

Oh, wait, no. You heard that.

[A]

First of all, I want you to know something. I already know. You have someone on the way.

[B]

I don't have anyone on the way. I'm going to dinner.

[A]

He text me. Who? Charlie? Yeah, we got that ass. Yeah, this happens to us all the time. Somebody can tell you what's going to happen tonight because you're not meeting your friends, and I knew that from the beginning. Okay, Charlotte's coming upstairs, and it's going to be around 2. Except it's going to be. It's going to be 2v1 this time. That's what's going to happen.

[B]

Actually, I already know, and I'll be so into it.

[A]

Actually, no, I've never. I've. I've never. I will stick with, like. I won't even start making plans. I will talk to two people on Grindr, but if I'm making plans with one, I will not start making plans with the other one.

[C]

Really?

[A]

Yeah. I will not. Because what if I end up like you?

[B]

That's fine. You just navigate, like, whatever.

[A]

I'm about to sit here and start lying, making shit up. I don't have it in me.

[B]

Oh, yeah, girl. I often. I stack the cords I remove the filibuster and I stack the cord.

[A]

It's too much stress.

[B]

It's really not that stressful.

[A]

Let me try it. Now. If I'm like, I will, like, put all my. All my eggs in one basket. Eggs in one basket. And if it goes south, let me tell you right now, honestly, I am happy to just order Popeyes. I'm always. I'm always be like, is he the you? I'd be looking at me like, is he the you or Popeyes? Well, here's the thing, and I'm happy for it to be Popeyes.

[B]

So I will not eat the whole day. So I have a plan, right? If I have three or four scheduled, I know that I'm allotting this amount of time. I know I'm gonna eat at this time. So that's why. Cause I don't wanna eat and fuck up my whole shit. So that's why I do it. That way, I'm gonna get all the dick I want done. Especially in cities I really like to be in. And I know, like, especially when I have regulars that I hook up with in those cities. Yeah. I like to have a nice game plan.

[A]

I don't think that happened to me. That's so annoying. I'll be in a town, I'll be writing. Like, no one's responding. And then, like, the gig's at 8, and I have to be at the theater at 5, and then everybody at 4:45. Everyone I wrote at the same time.

[B]

So annoying.

[A]

I'm like, are y'.

[C]

All.

[A]

What the. We all just looking at, like, wait. Wait for it.

[B]

So annoying.

[A]

Isn't that crazy?

[B]

It's so annoying.

[A]

Isn't that they're all in a group chat being like, go, go, go.

[B]

And it's the worst one. You also schedule for after the gig, and then. Bitch, the pics were right. The conversation was right. You're like, this is about to be everything. You messaged after the gig. Crickets. Oh, nigga, I told you 11.

[A]

No, Monet, we're late. This is late, Monat. People our age are asleep at 10:30.

[B]

But you said 11 was fine.

[A]

Yeah, but, Monae, that was hopeful. That was wishful thinking. People our age, Monet, are out like a light. I tell you right now, if I'm hooking up with someone after midnight, it's someone in their 20s. Rarely can I get someone else in.

[B]

If it's more a secret crackhead that

[A]

you ain't know or a secret crackhead. I've had a secret crackhead bitch I've had two secret crackheads.

[B]

Actually, girl, that was another one that happened recently. Bitch. I thought Miss Thing was regular. And then she showed up talking a little too fast. And I said, whoa. But I was like, okay, maybe just talk a little fast. And then, like, couldn't get up. But then finally did and then went to the shower when he was like, this is how you be knowing, like, the question, can I shower before I leave?

[A]

Can't you get hard on meth, though?

[B]

Can you get hard on meth?

[A]

I feel like you get hard on meth.

[B]

No. I've met people who I've hooked up with.

[A]

I know coke. You can't get hard on coke.

[B]

I know I've hooked up with.

[A]

And apparently whiskey, apparently. Which never was a problem for me. Whiskey dick, gotta tell you, never was a problem for me.

[B]

Well, you know, you and I. I was so young.

[A]

I gotta get hard while on boner blockers, probably.

[B]

What the fuck is a boner blocker?

[A]

I don't know. I was trying to think of a

[B]

thing, and he asked to use my shower before I leave, which I was like, second red flag. He went to the shower, takes his whole bag with him, comes back out, and then says to me, as he's putting on his socks and stuff, he's like, you know, you should really be careful with your stuff in here. Someone could steal it.

[A]

He's probably unhoused.

[B]

No, he was not unhoused.

[A]

You don't think so?

[B]

No, he was on drugs because he had just came down from Boston. He was like, I just came back from Boston doing a thing, and I had to go back. Maybe he was. I don't know what the situation was, but he said to me, you should be careful with yourself. Someone might steal it.

[A]

I had a secret meth head hit me up one time when I was in the uk. So annoying.

[B]

H and H. High and horny.

[A]

High and horny. I guess, yeah. But they were American. An American Asian person living in the uk, huh? And showed up, it was like, I'm with a friend and my friend wants to watch me suck you off. Okay, great. Showed up. The friend was a little.

[B]

Oh, so they both came through.

[A]

They came through. The friend was a little like, what's wrong with this? The hell wrong with him? He's just like that. I was like, I don't know. He's weird. So he's just like that.

[B]

So then. So then they started sucking your dick?

[A]

He was just watching.

[B]

Oh, yeah, he saw the front. So the guy was sucking your dick and the Guy was watching a girl, trans girl. And she was just watching it happen?

[A]

No, she was sucking me and the guy was watching, but he was like

[B]

up and it's a while you're trying to get your dick suck and. Or a climax. You're like.

[A]

I'm like locking eyes with him because he's creeping me out.

[B]

That's why.

[A]

So I'm not even looking. I'm just like. Well, he probably thought I was trying to. He thought I was trying to I him or something. I was like, don't touch anything in my house. I remember being like, don't. I remember thinking myself, do not take your eyes off this man because he's going to do something crazy. Take something, be weird. So I just. The whole. The whole time, warriors.

[B]

Was your dick hard the whole time?

[A]

Yeah, the whole time. Brick. Bricked.

[B]

I mean, I just put everything in one. Like I hide everything just in case shit goes down.

[A]

There have been times where I've had to hook up after the gig and I'm still drying my stuff. I hate that titties out wig dress inside out across the couch. Honestly, at that time too, I'm talking

[B]

to someone on Grindr in the audience.

[A]

So I'm like, you know what the deal is anyway, girl. So like get with the program, honey. Sit your ass next to this sweaty ass bra and suck this dick, nigga.

[B]

Damn.

[A]

Sit your ass next to this sequin catsuit, okay? Cause I have a flight at 4. I have to be at the airport

[B]

at 5am so my dream for us is that we go to a sex party together.

[A]

This. You gotta switch your dreams.

[B]

Why? You said. You just said you would.

[A]

I didn't say with you.

[B]

Why can't you go with me?

[A]

I have no desire to go to

[B]

a sex party with you. If you can't go to a sex party with your friend, why the hell are you going with somebody else?

[A]

I can go with friends. She's not my best friend.

[B]

Why?

[A]

I'm not going to say party yet.

[B]

Can you just tell me why I won't be comfortable? Because. What?

[A]

I don't want to go with you. I would go with. Who would I go with? I would go with Taylor. No, Mato.

[B]

No, Mat would never go.

[A]

I'm going with Nick. I'm going with Nick.

[B]

Wow, that's so shady. Assad. Assad.

[A]

I go Assad. Yeah. Assad is crazy. I'll go.

[B]

Nami.

[A]

Kim. I would go Kim.

[C]

Peppermint.

[A]

I would not go with Peppermint. No. Okay.

[B]

Why all these people, not me?

[A]

I just don't want to go to.

[B]

Tell me, can you tell me why I'm.

[A]

I be it be you're goofy. I'd be over there being goofy. You be goofy. I'd be doing a bit with you. I'm trying to have sex. I be I wouldn't be able to focus on the task at hand.

[B]

Why are we doing bits? I'm not doing a bit.

[A]

I would be doing a bit. I would be distracted. This is why they don't put us on drag Race together. Bitch, we can't even be on drag Race together because of our behavior. Yes.

[B]

Stop saying our.

[A]

It's not just me, it's you. You're the reason I know I could have been on All Stars 7, but you took that from. You took away from me that I could have literally been the queen of all Queens. You're the reason I'm not the queen of all Queens. You.

[B]

Well, he thought you would. You'd have to be. Jinx.

[A]

I would have pummeled that redhead bitch into the ground.

[B]

Jinx. Come on. The podcast. Let's talk about it.

[A]

Come on. The pod bitch. If you take a break from your eight shows a week, bitch. And on that note, they coming on my show. Cause I'm the Broadway bitch now, Honey, wake it up.

[C]

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