The One About Thieving Drag Queens

Summary

Sibling Rivalry Podcast

Episode: The One About Thieving Drag Queens

Release Date: March 9, 2026

Main Theme & Purpose

In this lively and comedic episode, Bob The Drag Queen and Monét X Change, the iconic co-hosts, explore the pervasive phenomenon of “thieving” in the drag scene—ranging from joke swapping and performance copying to the fine line between homage and plagiarism. Through witty banter, personal anecdotes, and mini deep-dives into pop culture moments, they dig into drag culture’s tradition of sharing (and sometimes “borrowing”) material, and the ethics around originality versus legacy.

---

Episode Breakdown

1. Opening Banter & Drag Award Drama

• The episode begins with classic back-and-forth as Monét and Bob debate who gets to be whose “date” to the TikTok Awards, Oscars, Tonys, and other star-studded events.
  • Memorable Exchange:
    • Monét [01:37]: “You won’t let me be your date to the TikTok Awards tonight.”
    • Bob [02:01]: “Everybody can’t be my date to every stuff, though.”
• Jokingly, the pair discuss their platonic “love life-wife” dynamics, drama over invitations, and friendship rotations.

2. Tyra Banks, Iconic TV Slaps & Acting Realness

• Dive into ‘America’s Next Top Model’, Tyra’s legal troubles, and iconic reality TV moments.
  • Bob [03:46]: “I’m obsessed with Tyra Banks.”
• Segue into a deep-dive on memorable movie/TV moments where real accidents and hits made the final cut (e.g., “Eat the cake, Anna Mae” scene, Leonardo DiCaprio’s bloody hand in ‘Django’).
  • Monét [11:27]: “He slapped the dog piss out of her. And that’s the take they ended up using.”

Notable Quotes & Timestamps

• Bob [07:34]: “One time this guy came by and blew a stick in my eye... a lot of times they’re crying because they’ve had chemicals in their eyes.”

3. Live Improv, Reactions & SNL Tangents

• The beauty of genuine reactions on-set, including stories from SNL and ‘The Ms. Pat Show’ where only one actor knows about rewritten lines to evoke authentic responses.
  • Bob [13:18]: “He was like: I’m gonna get this fucking shot.”
  • Monét [14:46]: “I find joy in that.”

4. Sibling Contest & Five Lies Game

• Discussion of a mini-contest involving telling absurd lies and calling each other out.
  • Bob [16:13]: “Mine was to call one out for every lie she tells.”
  • Monét [16:32]: “I did three, I think.”
• Exposes their playful attempts to trick one another while referencing Tyra Banks and ongoing inside jokes.

5. The Great Liquor Scam

• Conversation about drag bar scams, specifically watering down drinks in gay bars like the Ritz to maximize profit.
  • Monét [19:40]: “I had approximately eight shots of tequila... I was not even—like, kind of a little tipsy.”

6. DRAG NAME REALNESS & Favorite Queens

• Joking about drag queen names like “Plagia” and the queens they admire and have fun with (Plasma, Alyssa, Trinity, Mirage, etc.).
  • Bob [22:00]: “Every time I’ve hung out with Plasma, she is—I think if we were the same age, she would have been one of the queens I ran with.”
• Anecdotes about playing games on drag cruises, drunken antics, and the camaraderie (or chaos) it brings.

7. The Ethics of Plagiarism in Drag

• The centerpiece: candid, sometimes contentious talk about how jokes, numbers, and even costumes or makeup get reused (or stolen).
  • Bob [21:01]: “Speaking of stealing, I want to talk to you about plagiarism. That’s a good drag name too. Plagia.”
  • Monét [29:12]: “I never plagiarized in school because I was always so afraid of being caught and found out... it would be like an automatic, you’re done.”
• They muse about academic plagiarism (Wikipedia, ChatGPT), but quickly broaden to how drag numbers, parodies, and lines spread and evolve in the drag world.

Notable Segments & Callouts

• Bob suspects Beyonce’s creative team drew inspiration from one of his past drag looks.

  • Bob [31:22]: “Do you think that someone on Beyonce’s creative team saw this picture of me and it was on the mood board for that picture?... This is essentially the same photo.”
  • Monét [32:04]: “No.”
  • Bob [32:14]: “Denial is a river in Egypt. Your husband is gay.” (referencing a viral meme for comic effect)

• Barroom and local drag scene jokes have long, twisting histories:

  • Bob [42:13]: “For example, my verbatim lyrics to Big Spender are now a part of the New York City canon.”
  • Monét [43:48]: “Do you want to name some of these queens that are doing it?”
  • Bob [43:49]: “They’re all baby queens. I don’t even know them... but girls are just doing my straight up performance.”

8. Who REALLY Invented That Joke? (Philip D. Bucket)

• Bob calls Honey Davenport live on air to clarify joke origins.
  • Bob [44:22]: “So we’re talking about how sometimes drag queens in New York City take jokes from other people. And I was saying that I believe you came up with the joke ‘Philip D. Bucket.’”
  • Honey Davenport [44:43]: “Well, it was, but… I definitely didn’t hear anybody else say it before I started using it… like circa 2007.”

9. Sharing, Stealing, & Drag Inheritance

• Round-robin of who borrowed whose jokes, e.g., the “Hit it!” number, the “Philip D. Bucket” bit, etc.
• The blurry line between homage, theft, and legacy in local and pop drag.

10. Parody Numbers: Pandemic Bangers & Missed Opportunities

• Bob performs snippets of his drag parodies written during the pandemic:

  • “All That Jizz” (a take on “All That Jazz”)

  • COVID-19 parody medleys of “Be Our Guest,” “I’m Depressed,” and “Under the Sea.”

  • Bob [50:00]: “Take deep breaths, answer phone calls from my mom. Can’t reach my healthcare provider, and I’m out of sanitizer... No more gloves, no more masks, we don’t stand a fucking chance…”

  • Hilarious discussions about whether the “COVID-19: The Musical” would still be funny now, if enough time has passed since the lockdown.

---

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• Monét, on old drag bar scams [19:40]:
  “I had approximately eight shots of tequila... I was not even—like, kind of a little tipsy. But that amount of alcohol, you think it's watered down 1 million percent.”

• Bob, on plagiarism inspiration [31:22]:
  “Do you think that someone on Beyonce’s creative team saw this picture of me and it was on the mood board for that picture?”

• Monét, flat out [32:00]:
  “No.”

• Bob, deploying a meme [32:14]:
  “Denial is a river in Egypt. Your husband is gay.”

• Honey Davenport’s on-air confirmation [44:43]:
  “I definitely didn’t hear anybody else say it before I started using it. Like, circa 2007.”

• Bob, on parody writing sensibilities [50:20]:
  “It was called COVID The Musical. COVID-19. I remember this. I remember you. And you were like... it’s when Bob gets on his ideas.”

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Useful Timestamps

| Timestamp | Segment | |-----------|---------------------------------------| | 00:22 | Introduction of the episode’s theme | | 01:37 | "Date" drama for awards shows | | 05:17 | Tyra Banks & ANTM legacy | | 11:27 | Film/TV “real slap” stories | | 19:40 | The old Ritz and drag bar scams | | 21:01 | “Plagia”—drag name jokes & plagiarism | | 29:12 | Plagiarism anxieties in school | | 31:22 | Beyonce “inspiration” debate | | 44:22 | On-air call with Honey Davenport | | 49:03 | Live pandemic song parodies |

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Tone & Dynamic

The episode is feisty, playful, sharply funny, and full of inside references and personal jabs. Bob and Monét’s chemistry keeps the conversation rapid-fire and improvisational, with both queens eager to “read” each other and reminisce about their shared histories and mutual friends in the drag scene.

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Takeaways for New Listeners

• Learning the importance (and inevitability) of joke and performance cross-pollination in drag culture.
• The distinction between legacy, homage, and straight-up theft in queer performance.
• Insider peek at how famous TV and movie moments sometimes arise from accidents or improvisation.
• Drag culture’s constant dialog with pop culture, social trends (from Tyra Banks to TikTok), and even broader academic concepts (plagiarism).
• The power of community memory: old jokes and parodies live on, thanks to both “thieving” and celebration.

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If you love drag, appreciate rapid-fire shade, or want a hilarious, deeply honest look into the world behind the wigs and makeup, this episode delivers all the T, shade, and receipts.

Transcript

[A]

My name is Bob the Drag Queen.

[B]

And I'm Monet x James, and this is simply rivalry.

[A]

On today's episode, we talk about thieving ass drag queens.

[B]

Bob shares some song parodies.

[A]

And we find out what made Monet say this.

[B]

He slapped the dog piss out of her. And we find out what made Bob say this.

[A]

Beyonce's creative team was inspired by me.

[B]

One, two, three, clap, nigga.

[A]

See how I put my phone down and was able to clap sometimes?

[B]

Well, that's you. I'm not you. That's a cute durag.

[A]

Thank you.

[B]

Why do you have to, like, think about it before you say thank you?

[A]

I was reading.

[B]

Yeah, I'm about to read you.

[A]

And also, I don't believe you.

[B]

That think it's a cute durag. Can I have it?

[A]

Why would you want me to give you a rude durag that you think is ugly? I don't even think you want it.

[B]

Okay, I'm not engaging with this. I don't think you're engaging.

[C]

I'm not engaging.

[A]

I think you are engaging.

[B]

Actually, I'm not.

[A]

No, you are. I think you are. We're engaged right now. What are you doing? Monet? We can't do this. I'm sorry. I want to apologize. Give me your hand. I want to be sweet.

[B]

I'm sorry.

[A]

This is a genuine apology.

[B]

I'm so sorry. You're lying. I don't.

[A]

You don't actually think I'm lying.

[B]

You. I do think you're lying.

[A]

No.

[B]

No.

[A]

You love me.

[B]

I'm very upset at you. What are you mad about?

[A]

You're smiling.

[B]

You're not upset? No. Cause you won't let me be. You won't let me be your date to the TikTok Awards tonight.

[A]

You. You're Monet. You have a thing.

[B]

No, you can't come anymore, Monet.

[A]

You want to be my guest?

[B]

You want to be my date?

[A]

Well, I have a date.

[B]

Okay, bitch.

[A]

Yellow powder Q.

[B]

Add another one.

[A]

Y' all be taking members all the time. You don't. I've offered you many times to be with me.

[B]

I've told you that I'm your. Okay, here's the thing we said.

[A]

And why would you live with me?

[B]

I'm your platonic love life wife. But you don't treat me like that.

[A]

I do.

[B]

No, you don't.

[A]

For sure.

[B]

Which. Then you would have invited me to be your date to the TikTok Awards.

[A]

Everybody get my date to certain stuff, though. I mean, Jacob doesn't. Jacob?

[B]

I watch several stuff.

[A]

Jacob's not Even my date.

[B]

I said to TikTok awards.

[A]

Yeah, I have to rotate between you, Tao and Jacob, and I don't get.

[B]

I'm not in the rotation. I can be the one that you be texting on occasion, but you don't.

[A]

Oh, hey, Slow wine. Slow wine. Ah, Slow wine ruined.

[D]

Yes.

[A]

Yes, I live. No, we can go to. We can go to things. What do you want to go to next?

[B]

The tick tock awards?

[A]

No, I already have a date for that one. So I get you on the next one because Jacob was my date to Wicked. Tao's my date to this TikTok awards, and then I'll get you on the next thing.

[B]

Whatever I this.

[A]

When I go to. If I go to the Tonys, you'll be my date.

[B]

Okay. Or the Grammys. Or the Oscars.

[A]

I said Tonys.

[B]

Or the grammys. Or the Oscars. I'm adding caveats. No.

[A]

Okay, I'll give you one of them. You can pick one.

[B]

Oscars. I think that's if I had to.

[A]

Wow.

[B]

Cause you like.

[D]

Oh, I'd rather go to the Tonys than the Oscars.

[A]

Okay, so Jake can get the Tonys and you can have the Oscars and the Grammys, which means because you like Emmy.

[B]

Emmys.

[A]

No, you get two.

[B]

Okay, I want Emmys and Oscars.

[A]

And by the way, it's whichever one comes first. I want both. No, it's whichever one comes first. And then Tal's gonna get the other one. And then someone else will get the other one. Maybe Justin.

[B]

If Tao, Jacob and I make it, we might all be cut. You know, you might hold up my picture. I have one picture in my hands, ladies. And you might chara. Tyra Banks. Us.

[A]

Yeah. She has one picture. That's so. The way she did. That was so nasty.

[B]

It was so fierce. I'm sorry.

[A]

I know that.

[B]

You know, I'm not discrediting the girls account.

[A]

I'm obsessed with Tyra Banks.

[B]

You know this, you know, but I know you know there's a big thing about the girls coming back, about how it was abusive over on set. Top model. It is one of my favorite shows of the early aughts.

[A]

I also want a smize and dream in the states.

[B]

I don't know why she wouldn't do it in the states. Well, I think I know why. Because she got sued by an ice cream company. Yeah, by someone else. Some other. I think someone else did a smize in something and.

[A]

Girl, that's not true. Google that, Jacob.

[B]

They did.

[A]

Someone did a smize in dream I'm pretty sure someone did a model themed ice cream.

[B]

No, not an ice cream thing like someone who was doing like an ice like a actual face cream thing. Try to sue her because of the names or something.

[A]

Something with the names. Who sued who?

[B]

I don't know.

[D]

Oh she got sued. It was at least thing.

[B]

There we go.

[A]

Was it from modeling? You know she had a model land.

[B]

I remember Kim and Kim and Rob went.

[A]

They went.

[B]

And I was gonna go too. I was asked to go to but I didn't. I was. I wasn't asked you. I was in Kim. I wasn't living in NLA at the time. I was still in New York.

[A]

Anybody supposed to interview Tyra Banks?

[B]

She's supposed to know right before exchange rate. Right before Pandemic. She was gonna interview her. She was putting my guests on on exchange rate and then Pandemic happened.

[A]

What do you mean you said no.

[B]

Oh, I thought you said we like sibling rivalry.

[A]

No no no no no no no no no. Yeet. Not Ron, not Hermione. Yeah.

[B]

Who said that?

[A]

Come on Hermione.

[B]

Not Ron, not Hermione.

[A]

Not Ron, not Hermione.

[D]

Yay.

[B]

Harry doesn't talk like that. So who the fuck is that?

[A]

It's not Harry.

[B]

Who is that?

[A]

It's the other one. If it's not Ron, not Hermione and then you and Harry's the three of them.

[B]

Ron, Hermione and Harry.

[A]

Not. No, not me. Not Hermione.

[E]

Yay.

[A]

That's what it is. So Ron said it right? Right? Yes. Not me, Not Hermione. Yeah.

[B]

This is when they're playing chess. Yeah, yeah.

[A]

He's going to sacrifice himself. No Harry, no. You got, you got. I've actually never seen this movie that's not tried in the movie once on a plane.

[B]

So do you know I was. I was going to accomplish one of my dreams of. I wanted to do it for a very long time. I'm doing it next week.

[A]

What dream? Get your lips doing this?

[B]

No. A tattoo in a place Ever tell

[A]

you this over your anus?

[B]

Close to my taint on my Grindel. I want to get the hundred emoji in red.

[A]

I don't believe you.

[B]

I'm dead ass.

[A]

And you're going to send me a picture.

[B]

Yeah. Andy is. He is like I hate that you want to do this. I'm like well unfortun unfortunately for you, but fortunately for you it's not your

[A]

body you actually going to. You made plans?

[B]

Yeah, show me a text on Tuesday. Show me a text. No, because you Lie.

[A]

You're so easy to cl. You're so easy.

[D]

Oh, my.

[A]

I should be a lawyer.

[B]

All's fair.

[A]

All's fair.

[B]

Bob for season two.

[A]

Bob for season two.

[B]

You know, you don't want to be on a Ryan Murphy show.

[A]

I mean, I've done a Ryan Murphy show.

[B]

Which one?

[A]

I did Dr. Odyssey.

[B]

I did. Remember? You did do that?

[A]

Yeah, yeah, I did that. And I didn't meet him, so. But you got to be honest with you. Acting for film is not. It's not what you want to say. It's just not. It doesn't. For me, it doesn't give. It's not like theater. Like, theater acting is like. The scene doesn't. I'm just burping, girl.

[B]

You did it, like, four times. I had a Red Bull.

[A]

This. The. The scene doesn't stop in that. In theater.

[B]

Right.

[A]

You will be like, in the emotion. And they're like, stop. Repo the cameras now. We gotta get from this angle. And I'm like, I'm supposed to hold this emotion.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

One time this guy came by and blew a. Like, a stick in my eye. He puts a stick that has like. Like, basically, if it. Like menthol. It's like a Vicks or whatever, and he blows through it. And then it just makes your eyes water. They're a lot of time they're crying because they've had chemicals in their eyes.

[B]

Oh, someone did that to you for a scene.

[A]

Because I was. I did. I did. I worked up the tears, but then I was like, I can't. I. I don't have the acting chops to be crying for 40 minutes and. And crying with, by the way, with. That's 40 minutes. Seven minutes of acting.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And 30. And 33 minutes of

[B]

blood vessels.

[A]

33 minutes of fucking repo on cameras

[B]

and lighting and gaffing and. Yeah.

[A]

And rewriting.

[B]

And I love when I see takes that actors were really in that grill. That became the thing. And what I'm. What I'm trying to say is, I think you know what you're saying in a movie. What's love got to do with it?

[E]

Hey.

[A]

What's love got to do? Got to. I started walking on the treadmill during my vocal lessons.

[B]

I see the treadmill. I came in the other day and I saw that fucking treadmill that I'm like, oh, God, she's back in her treadmill fucking walking era.

[A]

What's wrong with you on a treadmill?

[B]

It just annoyed me, that era of you.

[A]

My treadmill annoyed you?

[B]

Yes, because I Was so annoyed.

[A]

Also, you're so weird.

[B]

I think it's entangled with being frustrated by Beaumo. So when I see the treadmill, I'm triggered thinking about the Beaumo meetings and you just fucking bobbing up and down while we're trying to talk about spending all this money, this fucking make.

[A]

Anyway, should we relaunch one more? No, no. Would y' all support us this time?

[B]

No, I'm not.

[A]

Would y' all get into it this time, please?

[B]

Girl. Oh. What I was saying was so in the movie, what's Love Got to Do with It?

[A]

Sorry.

[B]

There's an iconic scene where they're at a diner. Laurence Fishburne, the Ike Turner character, and Tina Turner is there. And then Tina's best friend. I forget the woman who played. What's her name? The one who Nami Ho Ringa, kills.

[A]

The actor or the character?

[B]

Both.

[F]

Either.

[A]

Yeah. You gotta tell me once. But once. Jackie.

[B]

Yeah, I think it was Jackie.

[A]

You look at this character's name, Jacob.

[B]

Jackie on stuff. Got to do that.

[A]

Can we get it here?

[B]

No, because they say they hate us doing like this the whole time, which I think is fair. We watch some videos.

[A]

Well, that's you. Because this is Monet. Monet would be like so.

[B]

Because Jacob is typing something. Jackie. Vanessa Bell Calloway. Vanessa Bell Calloway.

[A]

Oh, it is Jackie.

[B]

Yeah. She's such a beautiful woman anyway, but

[A]

you do that, you'll be like, do we? Because I think what drives me crazy is the. That I. That's my treadmill. That's my treadmill. That pisses me off. And I've never mentioned it. And I'm glad I got it off my chest because it upsets me.

[B]

So they're at the scene, and then it's a scene where Lawrence Fisherman tries to make Tina Turner eat the cake.

[A]

Eat the cake. Anime.

[B]

Eat the cake. Anime. And so he finally puts it in her face. And then Jackie, her best friend, stands up and he slaps Jackie. And she, like, goes on this, and she, like, very basically flips over the table. And they've done it a bunch of times. And you know when you were training how to slap on screen, it took me a while to get this, by the way, because Bob and I used to do.

[A]

You do opposite slapping on screen. They would jump into it.

[B]

They would go into his head like,

[A]

ah, drive me crazy.

[B]

I was like, monet, you have to go away from my hair. Not into my hair.

[A]

You slapped my. You hit my hand with your face.

[B]

So one of the scenes, Jackie, she did Something. And then the director was gonna cut, but whatever the thing was. And he actually slapped her. And that's why she goes flying across the table. And that's the tic they ended up using was him, like, physically slapping her. She's like. Afterwards, she's like. Her whole face was fucking red and fucked up. Cause he slapped the dog piss out of her. And that's the tic. Ended up using.

[A]

And you like that.

[B]

I mean, I love hearing stories like that about how, like, a thing that was. That was an accident ends up becoming the real take.

[A]

That's such a violent one. I mean, there's a famous scene. Can you pull it up, Jacob? A famous. A famous scene from. From the Dick Van Dyke show or Mary Tyler Moore show where they lined up a trick shot and Mary Tyler Moore was supposed to miss the shot.

[B]

Trick shot is a rim shot.

[A]

It's in a pool shot. A rim shot is on a pool. A pool shot is the thing you do. A rim shot is the thing you do on the drum.

[D]

The.

[A]

A rim shot is the.

[B]

Right, Right, right, right, right.

[A]

But she was supposed to do a trick shot. Who is this type of maritime. More trick shot on YouTube. She ended up nailing this shot. And you can tell that she's so gagged that they fucking got this shot. Here it is. It's on screen now. And we're watching with you.

[B]

Does she play pool? Favorite movie has just started on tv. Her husband.

[A]

Her Face.

[B]

That's. That's so cool. I love stuff like that.

[A]

And the fact that they, like, continued, like, the fact they continued on after doing that. It was like. Because I think some of it, allegedly, she would do the shot and then a real professional would come in and, like, nail the shot. But then she just nailed the shot.

[B]

That's fair.

[A]

And she was like. Because everyone. She goes. And then she tried to, like, recover.

[B]

It's really funny. I love. I love stuff like that. If y' all know any other ones. I know a few. I would spend hours like this and just watching these online, so.

[A]

Allegedly. But some of them are kind of like. I don't think that's professional. Leonard DiCaprio, when he's bleeding in Django. That was not meant to happen. Like, he slammed his hand on the

[B]

table, moving so long.

[A]

It's such a good movie. He slams down. He. He breaks a dish and he cuts his hand for real. But he just keeps going through it. And then he, like, uses the blood and he's, like, wiping out.

[B]

Insane.

[A]

He was like. He was like, I'm gonna get this fucking shot.

[B]

See that commitment to the. Committing to the thing is, I think that's so hot. Like I would have probably fucked him right there on set.

[A]

Apparently on the Ms. Pat show they do rewrites in the moment, but only one actor knows about the rewrite.

[B]

Like, what?

[A]

So they're rehearsing for the scene, but then the writer will go over to one act and be like, we're changing this line. But none of the other actors know.

[B]

And what's that for?

[A]

To catch them off guard. To like get their reaction.

[B]

Like improv.

[A]

No, he writes a line. So this is the script.

[B]

Everyone thinks this Bob go to store. But he told you.

[A]

But then he comes and he goes. You're going to say, bob, go to the moon. Got it. And then. But they're like jokes, they're. So then he's trying to catch them off guard and get their real reactions by rewriting. I saw the. I saw her creative director talking about on. On Tik Tok the other day.

[B]

The guy who.

[A]

Yeah, and he was. And he was like. And then they show an example of something about anal bleaching or something about butt sex or something. And they were not supposed to. Oh, it was getting your ass eaten.

[B]

Something about.

[A]

Something about analingas. And then she just fucking like, she just talked about that's why nobody wants to eat your ass or something. And then you see Mr. Pepper, like. But they have to. But they know that he does this.

[B]

Got it.

[A]

So they have to like keep, keep it in the scene while holding together. Do you like when the SNL guys.

[B]

Great character. Oh yeah. I mean I like seeing it and I think. Cause there's.

[A]

I don't know.

[B]

Cause I've seen some live improv before and I think that's what makes it feel fun sometimes is to see character. Because. But you know, like in the scene they think it's so funny that they can't even hold character. And I find, I find joy in that.

[F]

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[E]

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[A]

okay. So we had our sibling contest. Three

[B]

test rabbitry.

[A]

I think yours was to tell an absurd lie that was just not true.

[B]

It was five lies. I was like, five lies is crazy.

[A]

And mine was to call one out for every lie she tells. That's what I think. I'd be like, you don't do that. Well, mine was a call when Afro lies no matter what. So, like, you'd be like, I'm tired, but I don't think you're tired.

[B]

I was gonna say, Girl, five lies is crazy. I was like, Girl, five in 15 minutes.

[A]

How many did you make it? How many did you do?

[B]

I did three, I think.

[A]

Three?

[B]

Yeah. The tyre Banks screwing thing. Oh, yeah.

[A]

And Jake were fake. That's why you wouldn't put it on the screen. I was like, put it on the screen. I can't help you out. No, I didn't know. I didn't know you. I didn't know yours. I was like, put it on the screen.

[B]

I was like, why?

[A]

Why are you on a secret Google? Well, I thought.

[B]

I thought yours was to be ridiculously nice. At the top of the podcast, you were like.

[A]

You were like, hi, Lanae. I was like, oh, well.

[D]

So the gag is Tyra Banks actually did get sued for Smythe.

[B]

Oh.

[D]

She. She had a lease for one building in Sydney, in Australia somewhere. And then she changed where she wanted to open her shop and broke the lease, like. And they're claiming that she was shady about it, so they are suing her.

[A]

But I was being nice because I'm nice. That had nothing to do with my ass.

[B]

Oh, that is not your.

[A]

I am nice.

[B]

It is not of your nature

[A]

to be violent.

[B]

To start a pocket. Be like, you're not old. You're not. Rewind the tape.

[A]

I said, I. And I reached out and I said, I love you and I want to, like, communicate.

[B]

Okay, you wasn't. See, that's Bob at the beginning.

[A]

You were like, but I just love you. Come here.

[B]

That is not your normal thing.

[A]

What's up? I'm some fucking grumpy, frumpy mumpy. Just some dumpy, grumpy, bumpy bitch.

[B]

But you are grumpy.

[A]

I am grumpy. I get it from my mom was grumpy. She was so grumpy.

[B]

Whatever. I was your mom. She was not grumpy.

[A]

No, she's. She's kind of grumpy like she was like, now, I don't want to tell Monae. Don't go back on Drag Race now. You know, no more drag racing. She's kind of a grumpy lady.

[B]

And I'm just.

[A]

I'm just turning into my mom. I'm just becoming grumpy.

[B]

We become our parents.

[A]

I mean, are you becoming.

[B]

Jackie, you better get you.

[A]

Me give you some scotch. Jackie is such an icon. She is such an icon.

[B]

I will never forgive her.

[A]

When she coming back to town.

[B]

I miss her. She be trying to come back.

[A]

I miss her.

[B]

I will never forgive her for asking my sober friend to go and get her buy her liquor. That was insane to me.

[A]

I've gotten. Have I ever got you a drink?

[B]

You've never got me a drink. You never bought me a drink. Nothing. No.

[A]

I must have given you a drink.

[B]

No. You don't even have liquor at your home for your guests.

[A]

There's liquor at my home. I keep telling you this. Jacob has an 85 year old bottle of vodka that's sitting in our freezer that's never been touched.

[B]

Okay. You don't offer me a drink when I come to your house. You don't say, hey, Monet, would you like a drink with a modma?

[A]

It's mine. It's Jacob. Also.

[B]

It's Jacob. So it's not yours. So you're not offering me anything.

[A]

You said you don't have it in your home. There is vodka in my home.

[B]

Is.

[A]

Is it still in the fridge?

[D]

It's tequila.

[A]

Oh, it's tequila.

[B]

See, I don't drink tequila.

[A]

Yes, you do. Yes, you do. You're. That's your. On your writer. What's the one on your writer? It's the. It's the.

[B]

Which I'll stop doing, by the way. I'll change it. But Casamigos, amigos.

[A]

Yeah, that's real niggerish tequila.

[B]

No, it's not. No, no, no. Niggerish tequila is Patron. Niggas love Patron.

[A]

Oh, really?

[B]

Yes. And niggas.

[A]

No, no, true.

[B]

When I used to work at.

[A]

When I used to work at. When I used to work at. Every Tuesday, baby. You can always upsell black folks on Patron.

[B]

Oh, absolutely.

[A]

And Grey Goose.

[B]

Y' all want Grey Goose girl. And I was saying. I don't know what y'. All. The bars in Puerto Vallarta, Jalisco, Mexico, they're Scamming you. They are scamming. They're doing. I'm sorry. This. I mean, this was the old Ritz. They're doing some old Ritz behavior. The Ritz bar in New York City?

[A]

I thought you meant, like, Jacob Ritz.

[B]

No, the Ritz.

[A]

I was like, no, whoa, whoa, whoa.

[B]

I was in PV dejuan and I, we were a group of people, and, you know, everyone's, like, buying shots and stuff. One night. I am not. This is no exaggeration. I had approximately eight shots of tequila. I had about seven drinks. And I. When I tell y', all, I was not even. I was, like, kind of a little tipsy. But that amount of alcohol, you think it's watered down 1 million percent.

[A]

Did it taste like alcohol?

[B]

You know me. I'm not good at. I'm not.

[A]

Why have we never done the test? I'm telling you, I can smell it and be like, that's scotch. That's gin. That's whiskey. Blindfolded, just from smell.

[B]

Next episode, I will know what they are. We'll do an episode about it in here. I don't think it needs to be. Anything you can do, we can do it just here.

[A]

Yeah. Yeah, for sure.

[B]

Yeah. Yeah. But I. So I was like, there's no way. And, you know, they. Employees of the Ritz have come out that the Ritz used to do that. I don't know if they still do it. I don't know what the tea is. But back in the day when I was a working New York City girl, employees at the Ritz would say, oh, yeah, girl, we want. We water dumb drinks. Like, we water down the liquor.

[A]

That's crazy.

[B]

I mean, you get more bang for your buck because you're stealing it 100%.

[A]

That's like being like, yeah, you get more free stuff if you steal. Yeah, you're stealing. You're stealing. Speaking of stealing, I want to talk to you about plagiarism. That's a good drag name, too. Plagia. Plagia.

[B]

No, it's not a drag name. Plagia.

[A]

Plagia. Plagia.

[D]

Play.

[A]

No, you can't say Plasma is a great queen. Yes, yes, yes. She doesn't.

[C]

Her.

[A]

She's not a Plasma.

[B]

Oh, because you think. What do you think? Plasma. You think more of a Dracula queen.

[A]

No. Yeah, she's, like, wearing, like, neons and, like, sharp colors and. And also morphine. Not a morphine.

[B]

She morphing me.

[C]

What?

[B]

Rebecca.

[A]

No, morphine's like

[B]

something.

[E]

Yes.

[A]

Celeste Dion, Love. That's what she Is.

[E]

She's a.

[A]

That's. Yeah, you. She's a cele. And. And Plasma is like, Susie. Plasma's like a Jane. Yeah, Caroline.

[B]

Caroline.

[A]

She said she would take a name and then take the last name of a Broadway star. Like, she'd be like, I'm Janice lupone.

[B]

Right. Yeah, I can see that.

[A]

But she is a really good queen. I will say right now, every time I've hung out with Plasma, she is. I think if we were the same age, she would have been one of the queens I ran with.

[B]

Can I tell y', all, I was having this conversation. Let's. You know, with Jay. I was like, jay, Plasma. Like, I generally think she's hilarious.

[A]

She's so funny.

[B]

And he was like, no, you're brought in. He's like, you're buggin'.

[A]

And she's fun to be around.

[B]

I agree. I genuinely enjoy Plasma. She did a Monet Talks episode in New York City, and she. I had. I could talk to her forever.

[A]

We were on the cruise together, the drag cruise, where I bullied all the guests, and she was having. We were having fun. We. Well, we didn't. We didn't. No, we didn't. I was gonna say we hung out on the. On the. At the. When we docked, but we.

[B]

That's not true.

[A]

I didn't hang out with. I went and bought some key lime pie in Key West.

[B]

Ugh. Key lime pie.

[A]

Ugh. Is this a bit.

[B]

No. I hate key lime pie.

[A]

Everyone likes key lime pie.

[B]

I don't like lime and lemon flavored.

[A]

Can you like key lime pie?

[B]

Damn, this session.

[A]

That's crazy.

[B]

Yeah, I don't like. I don't like lime and lemon. Like dirt. So I don't like desserts.

[A]

Yeah, I don't need dirt either.

[B]

Like, lemon bars. I don't like key lime pie. Like, the lemon lime of it all is.

[A]

That's gaggy. But we. We did. We hung out. Like, we just hung out.

[B]

She was fun.

[A]

Yeah, she's really bad at cambio. Like, bad.

[B]

Cause I think Plasma.

[A]

She's horrible.

[B]

I think her brain is going too fast.

[A]

Yeah, she's horrible.

[B]

Like, bad, bad, horrible. Okay, so you played Kambi on the

[A]

boat only with Plasma, though. No one else. I gotta be honest. Like, the older queens, like, my age and older were just, like, too old

[B]

and didn't want to do something new.

[A]

And the younger queens were too lit. They were lit.

[B]

I mean, boats and cruises are so fun.

[A]

Like, I tried to. And I tried to get what's her name to play Combio. With us. Alyssa, she's such a bitch.

[D]

Trinity, Mirage.

[A]

Mirage. And Mirage was like.

[B]

She was.

[A]

I think Plaza might have been a

[B]

little too drunk to play, too.

[A]

That's. Maybe she was bad because she was so drunk.

[B]

Gory King girl. We tried to play comedy with Corey King. Corey King, she had to come doing Kelly Mantis. So Corey King.

[A]

They were drinking wine over there.

[B]

They were drinking wine. Cory was.

[A]

You have to go when you get the car. I joke that Monet has big, big man hands looking like frying pans, but Cory King is a big man. Like, she got her big giant catcher's mitts, Christmas hams on the end of her wrist, just crumpling up the car.

[B]

Instead of just picking up the car, Courtney would grab them, crush over her hand, then try to uncrumple and open it and be like.

[A]

But she was also like. She was like, wet mouth, drunk. There's a thing where you're drunk and your mouth is just a little wet. She was. She. She was there.

[B]

I didn't really notice all that.

[A]

And I was like, oh, this. I remember being like, oh, this is turn. And then Monet was pouring her drinks. What?

[B]

She wasn't driving home. Who cares?

[A]

She did drive.

[B]

She got an Uber. She didn't drive. I wouldn't say she did not get an Uber.

[A]

King did not drunk drive. But no, I was like, okay, in Mo's defense, first of all, we have never drank in the studio. There has never been time. We were like, let's all turn up.

[B]

Jacob says, that's not true. The last test is from Redesimilar.

[D]

We were drinking for. Weren't we drinking for Blood in the Clock Tower?

[A]

Oh, no. Mikey bought some.

[D]

Yeah.

[B]

When you do more game night lives, you need to have alcohol.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

Just wanted. And also, why are you gonna invite me to the next one?

[A]

There hasn't been one since the last one you came. Well, you got invited to the next one, but you were busy.

[B]

Oh, yeah, I was in New York.

[A]

But you got invited to the one before that.

[B]

What was the next one that I wanted to be invited to?

[A]

I don't know if we're having one. We'll probably do one.

[B]

Do one before the New Year's.

[A]

I would love to.

[D]

I have an idea for one.

[A]

But that was like, an event. There were like three or four of us here, and Monet's like, let's turn up. I was like, what the fuck is like, Monet? And Monet was like, we're getting vodka, honey. Monet had her little Monet exchange Serve vodka. She's like, here's some. And I was like. I remember being like, this is not what. This is not what's ever happened in here. This is not an afters. This is not the club. This is my workspace. Hey, where the cup said, you know, if you start passing out little cups topping people off. They left all their cups here. It looked like. I. I like when you've been in college and you wake up and your dorm's a mess. That's what it was like in here

[B]

when y' all left. Okay, you're being wild.

[A]

It was like that. You didn't clean it. Taylor was there.

[B]

It was fun. I made this space fun.

[A]

It's already fun.

[B]

I was. I was. I was trying to. I was. I was doing the space for the. I was meeting Corey at her vibe to make sure she kept on.

[A]

Yeah, you met her and pushed her further, so you better say something. I. I forget.

[B]

Okay, wait. Plagiarism. What do you want to talk about? Plagiarism? Look at you reading it down now. I was doing you.

[A]

I mean, I saw the Kiki Farm

[B]

episode about Beyonce and your look. Is that what you're referencing?

[A]

No. I mean, it's on the docket, but it's not what we're referencing. I mean. So let's talk about in school. So, first of all, plagiarizing was a lot harder back then than it is now. And Wikipedia was a lot less reliable. Wikipedia's actually much more. It's actually a more reliable source now.

[B]

Thank you. You can cite Wikipedia online. I don't know.

[A]

I haven't been in College in fucking 16 years.

[B]

No longer.

[A]

Jesus. I was like, 20.

[B]

I would assume you still probably can't. I mean, and we have not been to school.

[A]

Well, when you go to Wikipedia, Wikipedia has. So you can go to that source. So Wikipedia can be a source, where you can find a source.

[B]

Right?

[A]

And it'll take you to Nat Geo. It'll take you to Britannica. It'll take you to wherever.

[B]

Well, now, with chat GPT, like, if you use chat GPT responsibly, like, you're, like, researching where. Where the flip flops come. Like, chat GPT. Can you give me. Instead of saying, write this paper. Can you give me 10 sources about where flip flops came from so you can go look at those sources?

[A]

Where do you think flip flops came from? I want to say China.

[F]

China.

[B]

I'm going to say somewhere warm. Australia.

[A]

And the survey says flip flops come from the great nation of

[D]

there's not like, one specific one. Like, if we're thinking about sandals, like, the oldest mention of sandals.

[A]

I'm talking about a thong.

[D]

The modern flip flops are from Japan.

[A]

Japan.

[B]

Yeah. That makes sense.

[D]

They were a type of shoe that soldiers during World War II brought home with them.

[A]

My mom used to call flip flops thongs. I thought it was so weird. She said she was called. She was called them thongs.

[B]

Oh, no. I. I've heard thong flip flops. Yeah.

[A]

She's like. She's like, well, you don't grab these thongs. I'm like, thongs?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

I'm like, mom, what the hell are you talking about?

[B]

And I never. I never. I never plagiarized in school because I was always so afraid of being caught and found out that I'm like. Because it would be like an automatic. Like, you're done. Like, you're zero on the paper. You fail.

[E]

Yeah.

[A]

I also didn't have that many. I wasn't in any creative writing classes.

[B]

So you don't do essays for, like, English or, like, humanities?

[A]

Nothing? No, it was like, I would do, like, researches, but not, like, creative. It wasn't. I don't remember writing anything that would be. I remember thinking, like, if I'm just taking someone's paper, it'd be harder to do that. Then it would be just write my own paper. Especially taking someone's paper, then going through it and rewriting it. Seems harder than just writing on paper. And I never had to write anything that was more than, like, 10 pages. I've never had to write an essay that was more than 10 pages.

[B]

We had to do every year. We had to do a 12 page, at least 12 pages. Your public policy at the end of your humanities year.

[A]

Interesting. Yeah, but I mean, so my name was referencing. I did Kiki Palmer's podcast. Baby is Kiki Palmer. You can catch it over on her YouTube page. And I mentioned that I believe that Beyonce's creative team was inspired by me. And the comments were like, we believe you. Go to the comments, Jacob. The comments were like, yeah, I fully see it. You're the only one who's like, no. You were like, no, Beyonce could never be inspired by you. The comments were like, yeah, girl. That's literally.

[B]

I did not say Beyonce can never be inspired. You always. You take Swiss tomorrow. I did not say Beyonce can never be inspired by you.

[A]

What'd you say?

[B]

I said, no, I did not think on that particular thing.

[E]

It was.

[B]

But let's take a break, and we'll talk about These comments.

[A]

So this person says, beyonce likes drag. Beyonce likes drag. Beyonce likes queer people. Beyonce is inspired by queer people. Bob is one of the most popular drag queens in the world. She most likely has been inspired by Bob. This other person says maybe they didn't have any Beyonce's name. Well, but people. I. I thought people would be like, no, literally never. Folks like, no, girl. I fully see it. I 100 see it. You still don't see it.

[B]

I had to look at it again. I was listening to. I didn't watch it. I remember it's a picture. It's. It's one of your houndstooth theme. I don't know what you're doing.

[A]

It's. Yeah, it's a. It's a houndstooth picture. I'll show you. So this is the picture right here. You don't. You don't see any. My. Mine was taken in 2020. Jacob to. That's a capital Carter. So it's 2024 or 2023. When will they come out?

[B]

This is similarities for sure.

[A]

Being. Answer the question, though.

[D]

What?

[A]

Do you think that someone on Beyonce's creative team saw this picture of me and it was on the mood board for that picture? The patterns are similar. The poses are similar. The hat is similar. The face Keeney is similar. This is essentially the same photo.

[B]

Besides the audience.

[A]

I'm asking you why you afraid to answer?

[B]

I'm afraid. No, I said that you're afraid to

[A]

go to Houston, get whooped. I was just in Houston. Loved honey.

[B]

Allegedly.

[A]

Answer the question.

[B]

What's the question? If you want to move for it.

[A]

Do you think I was the inspiration? You know what I'm asking.

[B]

No.

[A]

Do you think I was the inspiration for that picture?

[B]

No.

[A]

Based on what? Based on what? Based on mine. Came out five years before hers. It's the same pose. The fabric is very similar. She's wearing a face kini. She's wearing a hat, and her hands are.

[B]

It's not the same pose. You're doing this like this. She's doing guns.

[A]

Denial is a river in Egypt. Your husband is gay.

[B]

I want to go see Doshi live. I've seen it once live. I saw when she opened up for a dosha cat, which was incredible. But I was at Crypto arena at the crypto or Kia form. I don't remember. I think it was crypto.

[A]

Apparently the crypto is like the most expensive arena in America. Apparently, something like that.

[B]

Can you see like. Like, like to build?

[A]

Yeah, I think. Can you Google? Google J. Can you?

[B]

So we can See what you're googling. It's changed like 19 times.

[A]

Well, I'm sure each time a new one gets built. I mean, obviously Madison Square Garden cost $3 to build because it was built in the year one.

[B]

No, I'm saying, like, it's a thing here. Like, it was like the Staples center, then it was at this center, then it was a crypto arena. I don't know. Like Madison Square Garden doesn't change the name often. The crypto arena has been. Or whatever that arena was has been through, like Ford or.

[A]

It used to be something else, didn't it?

[B]

It was a Staples Center.

[A]

SoFi.

[B]

That's a stadium, though.

[A]

SoFi Stadium. Isn't crypto a stadium too?

[B]

No, it's an arena. Crypto's an arena.

[A]

So what's the between arena and a stadium?

[B]

The amount of seats, I think an arena is like, max is out with 20,000 seats and a stadium is like 70.

[A]

And I think it's outdoorness. I think stadiums are outdoors and arenas are indoors. So Masquare Gardens is an arena and

[B]

Barclays is also an arena.

[A]

Barclays because it's indoors. I think once you open it up, then it becomes a stadium.

[B]

I think it's seating. Because example Hollywood bowl was outside. But it's, it's, it's, it's not. It's not called Hollywood Stadium.

[A]

The difference between an arena and a stadium. An arena is a large enclosed venue designed for enclosed.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

For events like sports, concerts and other performance. A stadium is a large open venue designed for outdoor sports. Oh, my God, the way I'm eating this episode. This is great. Arena generally used for indoor events. A recede of me mainly used for outdoor arena. Enclosed stadium, open air. Jesus Christ. Are you.

[B]

Oh, literally have smallest.

[A]

The last one.

[B]

You gotta eat all your food.

[A]

No, but you're acting like there's all your food.

[B]

The last one says arena generally have smaller seating capacities and stadiums have larger seating capacities.

[A]

So read all of it. But generally because the reason what I'm saying is like, for example, high schools have stadiums.

[B]

Do they?

[A]

Yes. High schools have stadiums. Yes, for sure.

[B]

Not in New York City. That's a very foreign thing. What do you think?

[A]

We have a football in the gym, in the basketball court.

[B]

But I've never heard we're going to the stadium at the highest.

[A]

Like that.

[B]

That blows my mind to hear that. The stadium at the high school.

[A]

Yeah, we have stadiums like you.

[B]

You refer to where they play football at the stadium.

[A]

Where else would you play if you're not playing football? In a stadium. Where are you playing football? Like, where else?

[B]

High school stadium.

[A]

High schools have money because you would

[B]

say just a football field. I don't know.

[A]

I've never heard of football field in the stadium.

[B]

That. That is crazy to me to think

[A]

of the football field is just the field. That's just the field. Everyone's sitting where the. Where the. The concessions are. And then.

[B]

No, I'm hearing what you're saying. I've just never heard that terminology. Like Kane, when you guys would do a football and would you call them stadiums?

[A]

Right.

[B]

That's crazy to me. When I think of stadium, I feel. I feel of large. I think it's something really big.

[A]

So there are arenas that are larger than some stadiums.

[B]

Like what?

[A]

Like a high school stadium is. Can probably fit inside of Madison Square Garden. It doesn't see as many people.

[B]

I've just never heard of high school stadium before. Jacob, have you?

[D]

Yeah.

[A]

Where do you play football?

[B]

I just. I would just.

[A]

I don't. Soccer.

[D]

Oh, I mean, you would do that outside. I thought you meant for, like, basketball.

[B]

No, no, basketball for high school specifically. I've never had anyone refer as that. I said a high school football thing as a stadium. Never.

[D]

My high school had like an indoor track, which was pretty large. Yeah. For like, track meets.

[B]

I'm not saying you're wrong. I've never heard someone refer to a high school place where. Where high school was a playing football.

[A]

And the college places have stadiums, too.

[B]

Well, that I know because.

[A]

Well, I mean, but some of them. Some of them are small. Some of them are pretty small. Not all college State. Everyone's not going to UGA and, and, and where's that?

[B]

Louisiana State.

[A]

Yeah, everyone ain't going to, you know, Alabama State and Auburn and Kennesaw and Buckatoo and.

[B]

All right, we get it. You know, you're so pleased acting like. Act like you went to any of these.

[A]

You know where Kennesaw is.

[B]

I don't, but we know you do.

[A]

You said something. You have no clue where Kennesaw is. I said. I said.

[B]

I did not say I know. I said, we know that you know these.

[A]

But you said something about Southern. You said, you know, you're Southern.

[B]

Is Kennesaw in the South?

[A]

Absolutely. But you didn't know that. But you didn't know that.

[B]

Okay, using critical thinking and deductive reasoning, I. I understood where. What you're talking about.

[A]

But you guess you don't know where Kennesaw is. Do you know what state Kennesaw is in?

[B]

If I had to Guess where. Kennesaw. It sounds like it's something. It's like an indigenous name, I would imagine. I think.

[A]

I reckon so.

[B]

I'm gonna say Kennesaw is in Alabama.

[A]

It was in Georgia.

[B]

Georgia. Kennesaw, Alabama.

[A]

Kennesaw. They used to be our rivals at CSU.

[B]

Got it.

[A]

But then they went d1 and Yahweh.

[B]

What? D4.

[A]

D5. No, I'm kidding. No, I mean, we were d2. I don't think there is a d4.

[B]

Is there a d4? I don't think there is a D4. I have no idea. I mean, I don't know.

[A]

I just know that we were not d. We, like. We were like, our rivals are Kennesaw, y'.

[F]

All.

[A]

And then Candace, I was like, girl, we do not. We do not think about y'.

[D]

All.

[A]

Like, I just found out about the Houston. Dallas rivalry.

[B]

The cities, like, for sports teams.

[A]

So people know just the cities. It's like. It's like. It's like New Jersey, New York City. Like, people in Houston do not like people from Dallas.

[B]

Why?

[A]

They think that people in Dallas think they're better than everybody. They think that people in Dallas are bougie and they're phony and they're fake. And people in Dallas, from what I understand, people in Dallas are like, we don't even think about Houston. They're like, we do not see Houston.

[B]

They don't. They don't see Cola, and they're all

[A]

a little jelly of Austin.

[B]

Austin.

[A]

Everyone loves Austin.

[B]

Austin is Edgar.

[A]

All the famous joke is, someone says, I'm from Texas. I'm from Dallas. And someone goes, oh, my God, I love Austin.

[B]

And, of course, San Antonio is. Is legendary.

[A]

The number one city in number one. Monet. And I would like to take this moment, talk about how much we love San Antonio, Texas.

[B]

Yeah. What a great place.

[A]

The boardwalk, the people, the grass, the food. I will say, when you go to Atlanta, people are always gagged at how. Green trees.

[B]

Yeah, people.

[A]

There are trees in the city. Like. Like a lot of trees in the city. And not just in, like, a part. They're everywhere.

[B]

Yeah, it's very green people gag. Yeah. What? What?

[E]

What?

[B]

What confuses me is the whole Midtown, downtown of how Atlanta is. Like. Downtown is above Midtown. Right? It's like. It's like there's something weird there. I remember I was there.

[A]

I was like, I don't think that's true.

[B]

I was like, I'm going to Midtown. Or maybe. No, I was calling it Uptown.

[A]

There's no Uptown.

[B]

Right. But I was like, if I'm downtown, I'm going uptown.

[A]

No, there's no uptown. There's no up. There's nothing you would call uptown in Atlanta.

[B]

But you go back to that map you were. That's at.

[A]

Okay, there's no uptown in Atlanta.

[B]

So there's this midtown and downtown. Why is it no uptown?

[A]

You're just back in the suburbs. Because uptown is like. You're just back in the suburbs. So you're. Now you're in Peachtree City. You're just back in the subs.

[B]

Got it.

[A]

So the suburbs surround Atlanta. They're not just in one direction.

[B]

Like all.

[A]

Everything around Atlanta. The whole place is just completely surrounded by suburbs.

[B]

Right.

[A]

Like massive, massive suburbs. And I will say the. The north suburbs are vi. The north suburbs are very fanc. Peachtree City is like. Like Ridge is from Peachtree. You ever met Ridge?

[B]

You never met Rich. I remember. So I. So yeah, one time I was training with my old trainer and he popped in. I didn't know it's Ridge, but I found out later it was Ridge.

[A]

So Ridge is from Peachtree City.

[B]

Got it.

[A]

Don't he look like from Peachtree City?

[B]

He's hot.

[A]

He's very attractive. This is Ridge. Ridge is a trainer. If you're in the LA area, he's a fantastic trainer.

[B]

Naomi swears by him. You also swear by him.

[A]

He's amazing. He'll. He'll whip you into shape. Yeah, but he is. He's very fancy. He's very much Peachtree City. I am from the executive opposite side of the map of him.

[B]

Got it from Clayton County. Has a queen of a stolen where my jokes.

[A]

I do this podcast with the queen who steals a lot of my jokes. I do. Are you sick?

[B]

No, I'm allergic to something in here. Something is making my allergies act up.

[A]

Is it a cologne?

[B]

No, I think it's your. I think. I'm not sure, though.

[A]

Can't wait to you laughing. Don't be thumped up in this. We're done. We're no longer. Longer on the same accord Kane. But yeah, I mean, no, I mean, you have taken some of my jokes. It's not a big deal.

[B]

I mean, which one?

[A]

I mean, I can't really think off the top of my head. I'm struck with the case the most, but I can't think on top of my head. But you have told my jokes before. And you. And you also sometimes just straight up go like Bob says, and then just straight up tell my joke.

[B]

That's not true.

[A]

No.

[B]

If I done that, I would, like, on stage, I'll say, if I'm posting anything, I'll be like, yeah, well, but I would reference, like, Bob says this thing. Or I would say, like, Mateo says this thing. I'm not, like, telling a joke. Like, this is my joke. Yuck, yuck, yuck. I would reference a person that is the joke. You've also done it before. I've heard Nick say that before.

[A]

Like, when I don't tell people jokes I don't like.

[B]

Monet says, no, like you. You absolutely have. Again, I can't remember them right now, but you absolutely have done that before. You're not trying to pass it off as your joke. You, like, reference a person saying the joke. Like you said about a Jackie B. Joke. I can't remember what it was. It's a Jackie B. Joke. You would say, and you would reference that. Jackie said the joke. I'm like, yeah, that's, like, not crazy.

[A]

I've told that story, but I haven't done it on stage. I've told that story that I've told a joke that can be told. But, like, not on stage.

[B]

No, I've been on stage. I've been at a bar with you, and I've heard you reference. I've heard you reference the queen or the person. Okay, anyways.

[A]

I mean, but also, there are a lot of my jokes that have just made it into the New York City, like, canon. And then I would tell a queen, that was my joke, and she's like, no, that's just an old New York City joke. I'm like, no, girl, that's my joke.

[B]

Like, what?

[A]

That has become a New York City joke.

[B]

Tell us.

[A]

Like, for example, my verbatim lyrics to Big Spender are now a part of the New York City canon.

[B]

Which is what?

[A]

The minute you walked in the joint, I could tell you were a man with a wallet. A real big tipper. So fork it over. Give me the cash. Something about, don't make me have to whoop that ass a little bit.

[B]

So you don't remember it.

[A]

I mean, I haven't done it in a.

[B]

Something. If you see something. Oh, if you see something, is that you?

[A]

That's me. If you see something, tip something. That is me. I made that up. No one said that before me.

[B]

Do you have the ocular proof?

[A]

You know, you. The.

[B]

Do you have the auditory proof?

[A]

No. The burden of proof is a good point, but you. But it's hard to prove something. I can prove something did happen. You can't prove Something didn't happen.

[B]

It's all coming back to me. What? Performing that number.

[A]

My performance of. It's all coming back to me. Drag queens are just doing it. All the moves. Where the baby. It's all over the Internet. They're all doing it, like, every move. The baby, the kicking the baby.

[B]

Do you want to name some of these queens that are doing it? I don't know.

[A]

They're all baby queens. I don't even know them. I don't. I don't even. I don't even know them all, but girls are just doing my straight. My. Because the. The video went viral. You won't find it online. I don't know if they kicked the baby online, but they are just doing my straight up performance. Like, just literally doing my moves. Doing the. Doing the. Hearing the people sing in the background. I was like, damn, that is. That's my number. That's gaggy. I've seen them take Honey Davenport's bit.

[B]

Which one?

[A]

This is my friend, Philip D. Bucket. She have a tip. Bucket. His name is Su.

[B]

That's.

[D]

This.

[B]

That's Keja Carr's joke.

[A]

I think it's Honey.

[B]

I think it's Keja. Cars.

[A]

I'm gonna call Honey because I think it's Honey Davenport's joke.

[B]

I think it's Kesha Carr. Tell Honey.

[A]

She's on the pod.

[B]

Honey dav. Oh, Honey Davenport.

[A]

I think your mother. Your fucking mother. You are such a disrespectful. Such a nasty woman.

[B]

Give your mother some motherfucking respect. Hi, sister.

[A]

Hey, Honey, you're on the pod with me and Mo.

[B]

Hi, Mom. Oh, what's good?

[A]

So we're talking about how sometimes drag queens in New York City, like, take jokes from other people. And I was saying that I believe you came up with a joke. Philip D. Bucket.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

That's. That's your. So Queens in New York City are still saying, this is my friend Philip, Philip D. Bucket. But I'm like, no, that is Honey Davenport's joke.

[B]

Well, it was, but, I mean, listen, somebody else could have had the same idea, but I definitely didn't hear anybody else say it before I started using it.

[A]

And like.

[B]

Like circa 2007.

[A]

Yeah, I remember you said it at New World Stages at the.

[B]

The.

[A]

Not the Green. What used to call it. Not the Green. What they call it. They called it World. No, the. The Room. The Room. What was that?

[B]

The Room. Oh, what was that called? It's the Green Room now, but it was called something else then.

[A]

Yeah, I can't remember. Anyway, all right, that's. I just want to clear it up. Love you so much.

[B]

I love you too. Bye.

[A]

Bye.

[B]

But yeah, I thought, I thought it

[A]

was a Keisha car joke because probably because Keisha Carr heard someone else said. And then it's just like, so you

[B]

think Kishikar is a thief?

[A]

I think that Kijakar. I, I like, for example, I joke that I have heard Tina Burner do that. Allegedly Tina Burner heard Jackie Beat do that. Allegedly Jackie beat her. Candace Kane do is when you yell hit it. So you'll be like, hit it. Yeah, this next number is about this.

[B]

See, I thought that was a Tina Turner joke.

[A]

Tina Burner. Yeah. Tina Burner always be like, now I'm us on Primary. Yeah, so. So I saw Tina Burner. She would get ready to this. She prep her number and then she would go, yeah, that right. And then apparently that. Then she told me she saw Jackie Beat do it. And allegedly Jackie Beat saw Candace Cain do it. But you can find clips of Jackie Beat and Candace Cain, like, yelling hit it. In that voice. And now it's just New York City drag queen joke. New York City drag bit.

[B]

You know what I mean? Got it.

[A]

So, I mean, I, I Jacob's trying

[B]

to find is this. Yeah.

[A]

So, yeah, so I, I've definitely had things that, that were like my bits. I've had queens recreate my mixes. Like, like, I've had queens reach out to me, but, like, can you send me the mix? And I was like, no, I don't send my mix out. She goes, then send me all the clips and I'll make it myself. And I was like, no.

[B]

I had one person reach out about two of us. My fight number. Someone, someone, someone's one wanted my fight number. And I. They were like, can you. I can't find There's. I mean, all the nene leaks clips are out there.

[A]

I don't know what they couldn't find.

[B]

I don't remember. I took like. I can't remember who it was. I was like, girl, just. If you want to recreate what.

[A]

That was crazy.

[B]

What? What was crazy?

[A]

But you had three phalanges in your fucking ear.

[B]

No. What was it? Not three phalanges.

[D]

No.

[B]

What did I know what he think it was?

[A]

Digits.

[B]

You thought I had three digits?

[A]

You probably could have for three digits. You didn't think I did.

[B]

Not getting a normal amount of finger in my ear.

[A]

You have a deep ear. We've discussed. You have a very deep ear.

[B]

And don't forget a deep pussy. Deep Pussy. Deep ass pussy. I got a dap, baby.

[A]

I don't. Can we.

[B]

I do have a dap.

[A]

Okay.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

So I don't know what part of the thing was in the line she couldn't find. I'm like, honestly, if you want to recreate a number, girl, why did you send it? Because I'm like, I'm not gonna send it to you, but do. If you want to make my exact number, do the research and get it made.

[A]

Yeah, I mean, just make it.

[B]

Like, I also don't even do mixes like that anymore. So, I mean, this was five years ago. I was still kind of. I still do them here and there.

[A]

Like, if.

[B]

If we end up doing that thing you asked me about yesterday, like, I'll probably maybe do that number.

[A]

I also heard someone online doing my parody of all that jazz, like, the verbatim. But also, at the time when I wrote it, a bigger queen stole it from me.

[B]

Who?

[A]

Hedda Lettuce. So I. Hedda Lettuce wrote a lot of parodies. She was a big queen. I used to kind of. Kind of be her assistant a little bit back in the day. I was just mesmerized. Like, oh, my God. I've heard the name Hedda Lettuce. You were on Sex in the City. Allegedly. I didn't watch it, but you were on Sex in the City. And I just want to follow you around and do stuff. I want to learn the art of drag. I was, like, interning for her, basically, and then I was like, I wrote a parody. Here's my parody. And I sang it for her. And then she was like, oh, I'll give you $50 for that parody. And I was like, no, it's like, it's the only parody. It's my first parody I've ever written. Like, I don't want to give it up. And then she was like, okay, did it anyway.

[B]

Like, how does she know it? Like, she.

[A]

I. I sang it for her.

[B]

I said, so she just remembered it all in that one moment.

[A]

It wasn't that clever. I mean, come on, babe why don't you paint my face Da da da d With all that jizz don't be neat get it all over the place I want that jizz, T. Get tight and please don't let it loose I want you something, something Want your baby juice and something Got it. Yeah, yeah, yeah but did my. Did my parody.

[B]

That is crazy.

[A]

And now it's on the Internet, and now other folks are doing all that jizz. I mean, I don't do. I mean, I did write some banger parodies during lockdown.

[B]

Did you have what?

[A]

Oh, my God. I wrote some bangers.

[B]

Why don't you do them?

[A]

You know, girl, it was. It was the.

[D]

The. The podcast before. I'm depressed to be our guest.

[A]

It was so good. It was called kovid the musical. COVID 19.

[B]

I remember this. I remember you. And you were like, oh, my God. It's when Bob gets on his ideas. And then I remember you calling me one day. We talked on the phone.

[A]

He said, wolf Windsor's gonna make you sneeze. Chef Takaka's gonna hurt your throat. Well, buddy, you are fucked. Cause I'm the worst and there ain't no antidote. I got contagion in my corner now. So you better not cough. You better not touch her eyes. You gonna cough and shake. Don't wash your hands. And I'm like a big surprise. Don't, don't you wanna go outside? There's just so much to see. It's just a little hug. So spread that bug. You ain't never seen a strain like me.

[B]

Yeah. And you call me. You were like, is that a banger?

[A]

Oh, I mean, you were like.

[B]

You like, wanna. If I do this musical, would you. Would you wanna be there? I was like, sure, girl.

[A]

Are we gonna do it? Puppets. I wrote I'm depressed. Instead I wrote, I'm depressed, I'm depressed now. I'm not feeling my best. I haven't left my house in a week, Sherry. I barely gotten dressed. Take deep breaths, answer phone calls from my mom. Can't reach my healthcare provider, and I'm out of sanitizer. No more gloves, no more masks. We don't stand a fucking chance. And I think that there's a tightness in my chest and I am telling you, I got a fever, too. I'm depressed. I'm depressed. I'm depressed. These are so great. I wrote under the Sea.

[B]

Last one.

[A]

It was called COVID 19.

[B]

Under COVID 19.

[A]

Can you say this one? They say it was right there. They say the sidewalk is always brighter. Read it for me.

[B]

The sidewalk is always brighter. When you're under quarantine, your friends want to go out dancing. But they don't do that, Miss thing.

[A]

Look at the things.

[B]

I don't know how the melody goes from there on.

[A]

But don't you do that, miss thing. Just look at the things around you. Right here at your own bedside. Such wonderful things surround you so you need to stay Inside and why? COVID 19. COVID 19. Ms. Thing reconsidered. Please don't get sick. Take it from me. Out on the street they all are sick. Don't go out there, you fucking dick. From floor to ceiling in here we healing. COVID 19.

[B]

Why did you perform it?

[A]

Well, I had this idea to do a puppet show like I was gonna do. I was gonna send the songs out to everyone, right? And then they would record the songs, right? And then I would lip sync to them with puppets. So it was gonna be like I was gonna send to all my friends who sing and act and do all the silly stuff. And then I was gonna. Me and Jacob were gonna build a puppet theater in the home with all of the stuff we had laying around and do it with like sock puppets. But then I think that was before the death toll was crazy. And I was like, this is a little. But now we're far enough removed from it that it might actually be kind of cunt again.

[B]

I'm used to it. Well, I'll be down to be a part of it. I'll let you do it.

[A]

I think that the moment has passed to do COVID 19 the musical.

[B]

Yeah, true. Or maybe enough time has passed. It'll be roll up in the game

[A]

if you did it on the 10 year anniversary of lockdown, which I believe was February.

[D]

March.

[B]

March 14, 2020.

[A]

March 14 of 2030.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

I will release the COVID 19 musical. Never before seen. Two times I've sang it on this podcast.

[B]

A new strain.

[A]

A new strain. New.

[B]

All right, y'.

[E]

All.

[B]

Well, we'll see on March 14, 2020.

[A]

Bye, everyone.

[C]

Marketing is hard, but I'll tell you a little secret. It doesn't have to be. Let me point something out. You're listening to a podcast right now, and it's great. You love the host. You seek it out and download it. You listen to it while driving, working out, cooking, even going to the bathroom. Podcasts are a pretty close companion. And this is a podcast ad. Did I get your attention? You can reach great listeners like yourself with podcast advertising from Libsyn Ads. Choose from hundreds of top podcasts offering host endorsements or run a pre produced ad like this one across thousands of shows. To reach your target audience in their favorite podcasts with Libsyn ad ads, go to Libsynads.com that's L, I B S Y N ads.com today.