The One Where Monét Ruins "YOU"

Summary

Sibling Rivalry: "The One Where Monét Ruins 'YOU'"

Date: September 15, 2025
Hosts: Bob The Drag Queen & Monét X Change

---

Episode Overview

This episode of Sibling Rivalry is peak Bob and Monét: filled with hilarious bickering, playful accusations, discussions about lying, sibling-style contests, and a whole lot of spoilers—especially when Monét inadvertently ruins a major plot point from the show You, much to Bob’s despair. The duo dives into everything from foot races and shoe sizes, to Spanish language lessons, pop culture, and what it really means to “make” someone in drag or podcasting. It’s a near-hour of whip-smart comedy, shade, and genuine friendship—perfect for fans who delight in their classic rapport.

---

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. The Great Foot Race and Shoe Debates

• Starts at: 00:38
  Bob and Monét revisit a recent footrace they competed in. Bob claims victory, Monét playfully deflects, leading to a running joke about who actually won and the reliability of “evidence” (i.e., posted YouTube footage).
• They argue over the size of their feet, who can fit into whose shoes, and drag each other about shoe choices and brands (“Balenciaga doesn’t even make white ones.” —Monét, 13:00).
• Notable shade about who is lying about shoe sizes and whose feet are “dainty.”
• Quote:
  • “The long, long story short is I won the foot race yesterday, which was honestly a glorious day for me…” —Bob (04:01)
  • “Every time we talk about you losing, you deflect.” —Bob (04:54)

2. Lies, DARVO, and Calling Each Other Out

• Starts at: 01:13
  Bob confronts Monét about fibbing on the podcast and “deflecting.” They banter about what counts as a “lie” and Bob educates on DARVO (Deny, Attack, Reverse Victim and Offender), quipping that Monét’s behavior fits the mold.
• The two call out each other’s defensive habits with good-natured shade.
• Quote:
  • “A lot of fans in the recent why you like this episode were clocking your... website lie. Do you want to come clean about that?” —Bob (01:13)
  • “Defending your lies is crazy.” —Bob (02:13)
  • “You’re literally a student of fucking Donald Trump. You have modeled your career after everything he’s done.” —Monét (02:53)

3. Household and Family Shade

• Starts at: 04:38
  Extra shade is thrown at producer Jacob, accused of lying about footrace allegiances, and Monét’s relationship with her family (and the infamous drag garage break-in).
• Light banter about Big and Tall shops, siblings’ shoe sizes, and family quirks.

4. Spanish Language, Grammar Games, and Neighborhood Life

• Starts at: 15:25
  Monét enrolls in a Spanish class and the group starts quizzing each other on Spanish sentences, present participles, gerunds, adverbs, conjunctions, etc. Hilarity ensues over what they remember from school and their levels of proficiency.
• Discussion about living in Spanish-speaking neighborhoods and experiences with neighbors.
• Live attempts at translating Spanish sentences, with mixed results and many laughs.
• Quote:
  • “I think for me, shows like that, they don’t bother me because, like, obviously I... know the show goes to the end.” —Monét (54:43)

5. On Lying and Making Each Other: The Drag & Podcast Origins

• Starts at: 39:07
  A comedic but pointed argument about who “made” whom in the context of Sibling Rivalry and their careers. Bob insists he was the inspiration for Monét’s LA move, podcasting, and more. Monét fiercely disagrees and claims their connection predates all that hype.
• The “MoMo Show” is referenced—Monét apparently almost chose another cohost (Mo Heart/Monique).
• Quote:
  • “By the success of fucking sibling motherfucking rivalry, bitch. You think you have the success of this podcast without me, ho?” —Monét (39:13)
  • “I would say I am probably the best thing that’s ever happened in your career.” —Bob (40:35)

6. Singing Competitions & Review Critiques

• Starts at: 46:42
  They recount a (jokingly tense) attempt at musical theater duets. Bob claims Monét was “intimidated” by his improved singing; Monét says she just doesn’t know many musical theater songs.
• They read and laugh at a three-star iTunes review deducting a point for “constant scream-singing/rapping.”

7. You & Dexter: Spoilers and TV Pet Peeves

• Starts at: 50:18
  The explosive segment referenced in the episode’s title: Bob admits he’s new to You, and Monét promptly drops a major spoiler, prompting mock horror and a breakdown of how spoilers should be handled by friends and cohosts.
• They compare the writing of You and Dexter, discussing the “impossible escape” trope.
• Banter about TV logic, spoilers for classics (Titanic, Passion of the Christ), and the ethics of resurrecting dead characters in television.
• Quote:
  • “You’ve ruined my day. You’ve ruined my viewing experience.” —Bob (52:42)
  • “I thought that was what you knew from the beginning of the show!” —Monét (53:23)

8. Closing: Lies, Connections, and Sibling Love

• Starts at: 56:58
  They reflect on their mutual lying, joke about connecting through it, and wind down the episode, still feuding playfully over footraces, timekeeping, and lying habits.

---

Notable Quotes & Moments

• DARVO Explanation:
  “So Darvo stands for deny. I don’t do that. Attack. You’re doing it. You literally reverse victim, offender. It’s you.” —Bob (03:22)

• On Spanish Slang:
  “Apparently [‘pato’] is also slang for like a gay man because, like, you walk like a duck.” —Jacob (26:06)

• Three Is A Lot:
  “Three is a lot now. Got it. This is something that they call deflecting.” —Bob (02:44)

• On Stuffed Animals:
  “As a general rule, I don’t like stuffed animals… I like these because they’re cute and they were gifts.” —Bob (37:34)

• On Giving Spoilers:
  “Do you want to tell people at home a spoiler alert in case you… So you don’t ruin it the way you ruined it for me?” —Bob (52:46)

• About Making Each Other:
  “Can I interrupt? Describe how I made you?” —Bob (39:43)
  “No, I’m not interested. Cause it’s bullshit.” —Monét (39:46)

• On Lying:
  “And here we are connected through our lies. Touch my fucking hand, bitch.” —Bob (57:00)

---

Key Timestamps

• 00:38: Footrace recap & shoe size debate
• 01:13: Accusations about lying, DARVO explained
• 04:38: Family, household, and producer shade
• 15:25: Spanish class sign-up, grammar fun
• 31:08: Pet peeves: repeating words vs. confirming meaning
• 39:07: Debate: Who made whom? Podcasting and drag discussions
• 46:42: Singing duets and review reading
• 50:18: TV spoilers—You and Dexter dissected
• 56:58: Closing reflections on lying and sibling bonds

---

Memorable Moments

• Bob’s gleeful self-vindication about the footrace (plus endlessly looping Monét’s concessions about foot size).
• Pedantic grammar tangents—Bob, Monét, and Jacob dissect participles, gerunds, and adverbs, stumbling through definitions.
• Spanish duck translation saga—failing and then succeeding in translating a sentence about a duck being a model (25:45).
• The infamous spoiler—Monét offhandedly revealing a twist from You, launching a full drag of irreparable TV betrayal (52:42).
• Role of lying in their dynamic—both hosts spinning creative tales, then playfully accusing each other of worse fibs as the episode closes.

---

Summary

This episode is a quintessential Sibling Rivalry experience: hilarious, spontaneous, and layered with inside jokes and sharp banter. From playful bickering about who won which race, dissecting grammar and Spanish, to the infamous “Monét ruins You” moment, Bob and Monét’s chemistry is as fun as ever. If you love their dynamic—equal parts shade, love, and chaos—you’ll be right at home.

For listeners: Beware, spoilers abound. But the real treat is witnessing the endlessly inventive, sibling-level comic chaos only Bob and Monét can conjure.

Transcript

[A]

My name is bob the drag queen.

[B]

And I'm monet x james.

[A]

And this is sibling rivalry.

[B]

On this week's episode. I win the footrace.

[A]

Monet spoils the show.

[B]

You. And we find out what made Bob say this.

[A]

I love when Monet does her little lies. Then we find out what made Monet say this.

[B]

No, I'm not interested. Cause it's bullshit.

[A]

Do you want to talk about what happened yesterday?

[B]

What happened yesterday after work? What happened yesterday? Oh, the race.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Did I let you in?

[A]

Monat?

[B]

Wait, are we gonna post it on.

[A]

It's already posted.

[B]

It's on our YouTube.

[A]

It's already up on the Internet. Okay, so do you wanna talk about the doctor footage, Monat?

[B]

How you guys use AI? Do you wanna talk about that? Your exorbitant use of AI So I

[A]

wanna be clear about something. A lot.

[B]

How little towns in America.

[A]

A lot of A lot of fans on the recent episode were clocking your

[B]

see, why do you why, why are you like this?

[A]

A lot of fans in the recent why you like this episode were clocking your. Your. A lot of fans were clocking the. The website lie. Do you want to come clean about that?

[B]

No, because it was a website lie.

[A]

So. So Rose Wrist was lying too.

[B]

Rose. No, that Rose. Rose was telling the truth. You were lying.

[A]

Look in the camera and say you were lying. And then also a lot of the fans, a lot A lot of the fans in the comments saying, hey, Monet, I went to your website and it was and it was.

[B]

What's a lot? Give. Give us a number. What's a lot?

[A]

Well, right now we have upwards of three, cuz it was three.

[B]

So three is a lot of of our 31,000 patrons. Three is a lot. Got it. That's how y' all do over there. Bought the direct llc. That's how y' all do math. That bought the Dragon llc.

[A]

I would say Mon a a big mark of personal growth is when you're wrong and being I was wrong and

[B]

I can admit that three would be a lot. If there was a family of five, that would be a lot of people.

[A]

We're a small family.

[B]

Three in a family of 31,000 is not a lot. Do you agree?

[A]

Coming in hot with your lies.

[B]

Do you agree?

[A]

Defending your lies is crazy.

[B]

Do you agree it's a lot? To answer my question, is three a lot? 31,000.

[A]

Because you're not engaging with the truth, it is hard to engage with your lies.

[B]

Three a lot. When you in terms of 31,000 people.

[A]

Three people who are. Yes, I would say in this perspective, three people who have seen this thing have all seen it. I've seen it. Jacob's seen it.

[B]

Of the 1.2 million people that follow

[A]

me on Instagram, three different fans have seen 1.2. I would.

[B]

Out of the.

[C]

I would.

[B]

I would.

[A]

I would end my career.

[B]

Of the. Well, you should kill yourself. Out of the 500,000 for the comments.

[A]

Three is a lot now.

[B]

Got it.

[A]

This is something that they call deflecting.

[B]

Got it.

[A]

In the business where instead of just acknowledging with the fact that you lied about something, you're, like, deflecting to make

[B]

it about something else. You're literally a student of fucking Donald Trump. You have modeled your career after everything he's done. What's that thing you keep on saying that he coined?

[A]

He did not call. He did not coin Darvo.

[B]

Darvo. That's very. Your behavior.

[A]

Donald Trump did not coin the term darvo.

[B]

But he uses it a lot.

[A]

You use it a lot.

[B]

He's making his personality see.

[A]

I'm calling out darvo.

[B]

No, because you do it.

[A]

That's literally. That's literally monat. That is Darvo.

[B]

Why are you raising your voice?

[A]

That is Darvo. You go, no, you.

[B]

Why are you raising your voice?

[A]

So darvo stands for deny. I don't do that.

[B]

You don't deny.

[A]

Attack. You're doing it. You literally reverse victim, offender. It's you.

[B]

Your entire personality is attacking people. You literally say, I like to fight.

[A]

So that's not. Yeah, but that's not Darvo. I attack people.

[B]

You know what I'm saying? But we're breaking it down fucking letter by letter. And you are a defender.

[A]

It's deny.

[B]

You are a denier.

[A]

I'm not a denier.

[B]

You're an aggressive.

[A]

I am an attacker. I attack. But I don't do the reverse victim.

[B]

You do reverse victim.

[A]

You're doing it.

[B]

You do.

[A]

The fact that you can't tell that you're doing it right now is crazy.

[B]

You do it.

[A]

Is crazy. But the long, long story short is I won the foot race yesterday, which was honestly a glorious day for me because we were sitting down talking to everyone, and everyone's placing their bets on who was gonna win and who's gonna win. There was only one person to stood by my side. Only one person stood by my side. Who? Rob. Rob. Rob.

[C]

I stood by your. I did not ever deny that.

[B]

Oh, see?

[A]

Jacob did not stand by my side. Jacob. Jacob never said I was gonna win. Wow. Jacob. Never. Jacob.

[B]

So now you're Gonna say Jacob is a liar. Jacob is a liar.

[A]

Yeah. Jacob is lying. Jacob is a lie. A bold faced liar. Jacob. Jacob never said I was gonna win. Jacob's.

[B]

This house is not a home.

[A]

Jacob did not choose a side. But Jacob later admitted that he thought you were gonna win.

[B]

Jacob.

[A]

But you did lose.

[C]

I did not.

[A]

The point is you lost.

[B]

No, let's.

[A]

Let's talk about this dynamic.

[B]

I want to work on this.

[A]

This is right here. Money. We're not going to deflect.

[B]

I want to work on this.

[A]

Money. We're not. Every time we talk about you losing, you deflect.

[B]

I want to work on this.

[A]

Every time we talk about you losing, you deflect.

[B]

I want to find a way to heal your happy home.

[A]

No, we're happy.

[B]

We're.

[A]

Me and Jacob are very, very happy. We have a very happy home.

[B]

Even though he's a liar and he doesn't believe in you.

[A]

He did just lie. Yes.

[B]

And he didn't believe me.

[A]

Yes. He didn't believe me. He did just lie.

[C]

This is crazy.

[A]

Well, Jacob never said. Jacob never thought I was gonna. Jacob never said I was gonna win. Jacob tried to be Switzerland. Like when we called out your man for cheating.

[C]

I mean, I didn't see it specifically in board games.

[B]

Wait, what was the thing? Well, you didn't see either. You said Nick said it.

[A]

No, I have seen Andy cheat a lot of times.

[B]

How?

[A]

Well, he cheated at Combio.

[B]

When did he cheat on Combio? He cheated. I was there.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

When? What'd he do?

[A]

We have a whole podcast about it. Go watch it.

[B]

He did?

[A]

Yes. The one about cheating.

[B]

Oh, yeah, that just came out.

[A]

And then.

[B]

Well, you know what? Because y', all, Bob makes us record these episodes months in advance, I forget this was you.

[A]

You went and did the traitors you. That had nothing to do with me. Bob was like Monet don't make the schedule here.

[B]

I was on Monet. We gotta record at least six months in advance. Of what? The violation. Also a lie.

[C]

You are.

[A]

What is your. What is your lying today? Stop touching. This is the one living plant in this office. Is it the one? It's very alive. It was a gift to me.

[B]

By whom?

[A]

Taylor got it for me.

[B]

Taylor O'Rear?

[A]

Yeah. For my. Well, I guess it was. It was a birthday, sobriety, anniversary combo gift.

[C]

Oh.

[A]

Because June was more my birthday and my sobriety. You don't even know me.

[B]

Your birthday is June 22nd.

[A]

Yeah. What's the 28th? What is that?

[B]

That's your sober birthday.

[A]

That is not my sober birthday.

[B]

26.

[C]

This is crazy.

[A]

What is that, the 30th? Is that the 30th? It's tattooed on my shoulder.

[B]

The blade. Your shoulder's here. The blade is back here.

[A]

But it's tattooed there. And you've seen it. I've worn plenty of tank tops and leotards around you, and you don't pay attention to anything I do.

[B]

When is my silver birthday?

[A]

This morning. Wrong. I don't have one. When's the last time you got loose on the juice? Is the question.

[B]

You said the other day you saw me drunk.

[A]

I have seen you drunk several times. There's a caveat, though.

[B]

You saw me drunk. Like you have not seen me drunk in the past seven years.

[A]

That's not what the conversation was. The conversation was, we were in the room yesterday. It was me, Patrick Taylor. No, Taylor wasn't there. Me, Taylor, and Monet in the room by ourselves. And then Monet goes, none of you. The only person who's ever seen me drunk is Patrick. And me and Taylor are both like, that is not true. You're like, you guys have never seen me drunk. And then me and Taylor are both like, that is categorically false. And then.

[B]

But Taylor. I was right about Taylor. Taylor's like, girl, the other day at Pride, I was like, girl, I was not drunk. I was high. That's different. It is different. And then you. But you. You used to see me drunk back in the day in New York.

[A]

I know.

[B]

I will concede it.

[A]

I know that. You don't have to tell me. I've been new. Tell them. Tell them. Look in your camera. Right in the camera, too.

[B]

Tell them. Three.

[A]

No, it's 1, 2, 3. They have names. I've named my cameras. This is camera one. This is camera two. And they have. And I would like yours. And they also have pronouns, and I don't get them wrong.

[B]

Where are the names located?

[A]

I know my own children. Do you have your names written on your children? You have to write the names of your children.

[B]

My mom used to put our initials on the bottom of our feet because

[A]

y' all had the same size shoe.

[B]

Me and John.

[A]

I mean, probably all both big niggas.

[B]

Oh, my God. Do you want to talk about how we're matching today a little bit?

[A]

Yeah, we are. We're both wearing, like, some animal print. I don't know, girl.

[B]

Oh, the closet. Thank you.

[A]

But, yeah. Did you. Do you and your brother have the same size shoe?

[B]

No. No. Sean is What? Sean is like, a size like, like 8. 17, 18.

[A]

That's shot.

[B]

Oh, I thought you're gonna do a bit.

[A]

I was gonna do a bit, but that sounds like a hard life to live.

[B]

Not really. I think when you are. When you are. When you have big feet, like, you know what? He also is like. He only like Jordan and things like that, so I don't think it's hard.

[A]

What about when he goes to formal where Jordans at his wedding ain't married.

[B]

I think he did wear Jordans at the reception, actually.

[A]

But when he got married, though.

[B]

No, no, no.

[A]

What about when he was graduating from the police academy? He wore Jordans.

[B]

He wore dress shoes.

[A]

That's crazy. Oh, dress shoes. He made a listed. He probably got one pair.

[B]

No, no, no, no.

[A]

This Bigfoot probably got at the max. He got nice shoes.

[B]

Have you ever been to the Big and Tall store?

[A]

No. Okay. I am at the brink of big.

[B]

But you're tall, though.

[A]

I'm at the. As I always say this. I am at the precipice of tall. I am the last height you can be where someone thinks you are not freakishly tall. And my foot is at the end of the size where, like, I can still go. I can still go to the.

[B]

I just wore your shoes yesterday, and they were big on me. Do you want to get your shoes in? I can put them on.

[A]

We have a footage of you trying.

[B]

That was. Those are pumps. We talking about sneaker. The shoes yet. Your dress shoes I wore yesterday. So you fit me like my feet worth swimming.

[A]

I also have footage. Y' all can go to Taylor O'Rear's Instagram. Monet has the shoes unzipped and open

[B]

because it was y'. All.

[A]

Bob had studio.

[B]

No, no, no. But I was.

[A]

Had everything.

[B]

I don't.

[A]

I don't get all the heat in there. What do you mean? Bob had. I don't control the heat over there.

[B]

It was so hot in that.

[A]

Why is he. I didn't. I don't control the heat over there.

[B]

I could not get cool. It was just hot. It was sweating.

[A]

You tell me if I. If I walk out of this space and go. And go. Hold on. And grab a pair of shoes and I put it on my foot. And if it's all. You will be able to take that same shoe. Hold on.

[B]

Out of drag shoes. Hold on.

[A]

You'll be able to take that same shoe and put it on your foot

[B]

out of drag shoes.

[A]

Like, what?

[B]

Give me. What kind of shoe is it? Give me some information.

[A]

I'll be right back.

[B]

What type of shoe is It. Because your hair's right back.

[A]

Sit down. Hold up, hold up. On Holiday. So I went on the Internet and I bought some Balenciaga.

[C]

Can you start over here talking to the mic?

[A]

Say you will start talking to me. So I went on there and I bought some Balenciaga knockoffs. What I want you to do is put your foot in this shoe. Whoa, whoa. And you need to put the strap on and your foot needs. And don't destroy the shoe.

[B]

Do they fit you?

[A]

Yes.

[B]

Let me see. What size shoe are they?

[A]

Don't worry about it. Put your foot in there with the strap on. Catch the struggle. No, the strap goes behind the heel. I rest my case, your honor. And what? Your honor. What? I rest my case.

[B]

Put your foot in that shoe.

[A]

Don't worry about my foot.

[B]

Put your foot in that shoe.

[A]

I can get.

[B]

Put your foot in that shoe.

[A]

Do what I see it do. Hand me the shoe. Why can't hand me the shoe?

[B]

What are you gonna put in that fucking Sho Ball ass shoe? This fucking Keebler elf ass shoe.

[A]

This is a standard. It is not size shoe. And look at my foot. No, no, no, no, no. Calm down. Calm your nerves. Oh, but our feet are the same olive. No, they're not. Our feet are side by side.

[B]

The camera too.

[A]

The shoe is the same. Where's the camera too?

[B]

No, side by side.

[A]

We can see the Monet. The shoe is the leakage.

[B]

The leakage at the back.

[A]

They're the same.

[C]

Monet. Your heel is hanging like an inch off the bottom.

[A]

No, it's not an inch. Monet. Monet.

[B]

That's an inch, Jacob.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

I don't know how you measuring dicks, but that is an inch, baby.

[A]

This is the same. We've had this conversation so many times.

[B]

Did I not wear your sneakers? Your shoes yesterday. Did I not wear your dress shoes? You can't answer the question.

[A]

But they were unzipped and you were limping. Because I had them unzipped.

[B]

Because I was hot as it's hot in here right now. Can we put the AC on in this bitch?

[A]

Why are you dying? I need those replaced.

[B]

No, no.

[A]

I need those replaced. And those. And those are the real ones. These are the fake ones.

[B]

Valenciaca doesn't even make white ones.

[A]

These are the fake ones.

[B]

Valenciaca doesn't even make white ones.

[A]

Those are $1,500 and you will be getting a Venmo request.

[B]

Valencia, they don't even make white ones.

[A]

How would you know?

[B]

Because I know I buy a lot

[A]

of Balenciaga, but You have those though.

[B]

They don't. I would never buy those shoes.

[A]

These are the knockoffs.

[B]

Those are not the knockoffs.

[A]

And those.

[B]

I was there when you bought those.

[A]

That's not true. I wasn't there when these brought.

[B]

No, no, no, I wasn't there. But I remember the whole story about how you got them and you took them to the store and blah blah, blah. Yeah, Jacob, they don't make those white ones.

[A]

Those are Binsiaga White Crocs.

[B]

Those are not those.

[A]

Let's go back to the discussion about your exploding feet and they became exploding shoes. So can you for once, before we move on to our topic, just acknowledge that I have a very dainty small foot?

[B]

You don't have a cunt dinky. You have a smaller foot than me. You do not have a what? A smaller foot than me.

[A]

One more time.

[B]

No one has ever denied that I said this many times. I have said this many times.

[A]

Can you say it one more time?

[B]

No, I said it twice. I'm not saying it a third time.

[A]

Jay, Loop it.

[B]

I don't do my stuff in Peru.

[A]

Loop it. I've listened to an old episode where I used to edit them myself and honestly those loops were like. So we need to get back to the looping. The looping needs to come back. It was really, really great concert. Anyway, so I'm in a really good mood today because I, I, I feel really vindicated through my, my victory in the foot race. And you won this foot race. The race for you foot can grow the biggest. You won that one. I'm gonna give you that. You ate that one up. Just like you ate my shoe up. My fifteen hundred dollar Balenciaga shoe.

[B]

My cheap ass white shoe. First of all, it's. When you bought this, did you think it was going to be cute?

[A]

I bought it to compare it to this one.

[B]

Like, okay, but you didn't buy like, oh, I want to wear this nice shoe.

[A]

Well, I bought it figuring myself it could end up being cute because it is essentially this shoe. It's basically the same shoe but in white. So I bought it to be like, I want to compare the two, see how they work out this shoe. But I wanted to say this too. This real Balenciaga shoe is not very well made. Yeah, I have this shoe broke immediately. I had to fix it myself.

[B]

I have Balenciaga clogs and they do they, they're not made very well to be very. And you know what? Because they're. The brown ones are supposed to look like wood. Sponsor the What? They're a sponsor. Oh, well, girl, your shoes suck. And then so I got the ones that was like wood, but they started to peel within. Like, we can't use.

[A]

We can't use any of this. Oh, we can't use it. Don't. Don't. Anyway, so I'm sure. Answer your question, which wasn't like, answer my assertment. I'm in a really good mood today. How are you feeling today?

[B]

I'm feeling good. I signed up for my Spanish class today. I'm very excited. I'm doing a month, a semester. God bless you back in lacc.

[A]

Should we do a quick Spanish test before we go to the.

[B]

To the break? Yeah, let's take a break and we'll talk about that.

[A]

I'm Kiana, and I leveled up my business with Shopify. Once I figured out that Shopify was a thing, I never turned back. I can create a site with my eyes closed. Shopify thinks ahead of us, you know, and it thinks about the customer more than anything. Every day I'm thinking about some other new business, but Shopify is doing it to me because it's so easy to use. It's like, I can't stop. I'm addicted. Start your free [e-mail] so not teleprompter. I think you should bring up some Spanish phrases and see if we can. Here's the thing. I can speak Spanish. You can understand it, but I cannot understand.

[B]

No entiendo.

[A]

No entiendo. But I can read it. And people who speak Spanish understand what I'm saying.

[B]

But then what happened on the. On the telephone tomorrow. Why couldn't you get that? You ain't sound Spanish.

[A]

It was going too fast. It was also like hard ass words with names and numbers and places.

[B]

I was able to do it, but

[A]

I think so we're going to Spanish proficiency Spanish proficiency test online. Okay. Oh, Lord.

[B]

Advanced.

[A]

Advanced. Okay. Select the sentence that correctly omits the subject pronounced.

[B]

Okay, well, here's the thing. Don't. Don't get me with pro. Can I say, like, after, Like, English school? I think the things that obviously are verb. English verbs. You mean school verbs, adjectives, nouns, whatever. But, like, when you get into, like, present participles and blah, blah, blah, my brain is like, do you remember learning all of that? Like, learning. Learning it. Like, could you, like, pick all those things if you had.

[A]

Like, pick one, and I'll see if I can tell you what it is.

[B]

What is a present participle.

[A]

A present participle. A present participle. I don't remember. I think it's. Wait, hold on. Wait, wait. Let's use some context clues. So it's something that is not past. It's not future. It's right now. And a participle is probably target participates

[B]

with the present thing. So like jumping. Like is that.

[A]

No, that would be a present progressive verb. Progressive, because progressive meaning is happening right now. So jumping pres.

[B]

Is that.

[A]

Is that.

[B]

Is that a thing? A present progressive verb. That's not.

[A]

Well, Google it. What is it? What is the present progressive verb? You got Google, Type it in.

[C]

Present participle, the form of a verb ending in ing.

[B]

So thinking I was right.

[A]

So you didn't know what it was. Yes. So maybe something did stick.

[C]

The present for. Yes, the present progressive. What you were talking about is.

[B]

This is interesting. Well, what is it?

[C]

Oh, it's the same thing, actually.

[A]

And. Yeah, and you already shaking your head. I ate with that one. Yeah. Present progressive. Present meanings. Happening now. Progressive meaning it's ongoing. I think so like present progressive, jumping, running, skipping. And then like a gerund. It's like.

[B]

I don't know. I've never heard the word a gerund.

[A]

A gerund is like a verb being used as a noun. So if I would say, like, you're running for president was fantastic.

[B]

Is that right? A gerund?

[A]

Yeah, a gerund is a verb being used as a noun. So I'm saying like, oh, you're running for president. Running would be a present progressive or present participle. But when I use it as a noun, you're running for president was really well done. That's what a gerund would be. So I know some of it, but then I just try to use my.

[B]

Can you look up Jaren Jacob?

[A]

Oh, but yeah, I don't think I

[B]

even learned what it. I don't.

[A]

I don't. You had learned.

[B]

I don't remember. You know, I did not go to a regular school.

[C]

A gerund is the ing form of a verb that functions as a noun in a sentence.

[B]

So the gerund is what? Running.

[A]

Running could be a gerund.

[B]

Yes. Yeah, running.

[A]

But you have to be using the verb as a noun.

[B]

Yeah, I don't remember. I do not remember learning the word gerund in school. I do not remember that. I'm not saying I did. I do not remember that at all.

[A]

But maybe. But then it came just like present participle. Just came back to you.

[B]

And Jaren ain't come. I'm just waiting for Jaron to arrive.

[A]

But now you have it. And now it'll never leave because we have this beautiful conversation.

[B]

What else is there? There's a. An adverb is a describing verb, right?

[A]

An adverb is a word used to describe a verb. So like. Like if the verb is running. Run. And she happily ran.

[B]

Right.

[A]

So adverbs usually end in ly.

[B]

And then there's.

[C]

What's a conjunction?

[B]

Conjunction junction. How do you function? Conjunction.

[A]

A conjunction is a word that I believe connects the. The subject and the predicate together. Or maybe it connects a sentence like two sentences. Conjunction is. Okay, let's use our context. So it's going to be joining something. Right. So is it joining the. Is it joining the subject and the predicate, or is it.

[B]

I think it's joining the subject and the not predicate. What's the other word people say? Not predicate is like. Let me try to use it like a conjure. What was.

[A]

Well, conjugation.

[B]

Yeah, conjunction would be like I,

[A]

Well, conjugate. Well, it's not conjugate. Conjugating is when you conjugate a verb. Yeah, we take the verb and you make it fit the. The nap. The noun. So what is the con? The conjunction.

[C]

A conjunction is a word used to connect clauses or sentences or coordinate words in the same clause.

[A]

Or like.

[B]

But.

[C]

Yep, but. And although. Because. So.

[A]

So I kind of ate that a little bit. It connects the. I said connects two sentences. Or it can connect the subject to the predicate.

[B]

We were both on the off of connecting. We was trying to figure out what the word is, though, like.

[A]

But apparently it connects a lot of stuff. But anyway, I do think that since you're going to be taking Spanish classes, you're going to be learning a lot of that.

[B]

I know. So. Yeah, so, yeah, that's what I did today.

[A]

So back to the thing. So back to the Spanish proficiency test. Oh, is it gone back to the Spanish proficiency test. If you put words on the screen, I can probably read them and then maybe just. I think I need some Spanish words on the screen.

[C]

Okay.

[A]

If you can get some Spanish words on the screen, then I can probably tell you what those words are.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

How would you do with that, Monet?

[B]

I. I mean, I think so. I mean, I think we should do sentences, not just words.

[A]

Okay. A Spanish sentence.

[B]

Give Jake. Maybe like Spanish proficiency sentences.

[C]

I don't know.

[A]

What, What. How many years of Spanish did you take?

[B]

I did four, three years in middle school and then I did two years in high school. So a total of Five. But also, would you agree, living in New York City, you. You get a lot of Spanish?

[A]

Yeah, I mean, I lived in. I lived in a Spanish speaking neighborhood. I lived in the Heights.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

But I was not interacting with. With any of those. With. With my neighbors. I've never lived in a neighborhood where I interact with.

[B]

That was good. Jacob, why'd you go?

[A]

I've never. Have you ever lived in a neighborhood you actually interact with your neighbors? Well, I mean, you bro. You as an adult. I don't hang out in my neighborhood. Like, like right now, I don't have any friends in my neighborhood. I live in Hollywood. I don't have any friends. Like, in my immediate. I mean, there is. There is a guy in my building that I talk. I talked to a few people in

[B]

my building with a dog. Yeah.

[A]

Ladies. Owners. And I talked to the.

[C]

This.

[A]

This old couple who lives next door. I went and gave them my phone numbers.

[B]

I mean, I think your neighbors have. Your neighbors. Yeah, your neighbor should have your phone number just in case there's an emergency at your home or your neighborhood or.

[A]

Something happened when neighbors fell and they needed some help. And then I got a text on Instagram from the guy who has a dog and was like, oh, my God, the neighbors fell. Can you go help them? Oh, I was out of town too.

[B]

Oh.

[A]

But I was like, oh, my God, my neighbors, they were like this, like, this old couple, and I was like, oh, I need to go help this guy.

[C]

He fell.

[A]

Then I went over and I was like, I should give you guys my phone. You guys should have my phone number so you can call in case you ever need something.

[B]

They should dox you. What if they doxy enough further that

[A]

I don't think they have a big social media presence? Maybe, but. Maybe they do. But. Okay, Sophie. Oh, okay.

[C]

I need moments to prepare.

[A]

Okay, Got it.

[C]

It's hard to find one online.

[A]

Got it. No worries. But I would say if you just look up to some. Some span, like a blog in Spanish or a blog in just some Spanish sentences.

[C]

Okay.

[A]

I think the goal is to try to try to translate that sentence itself. But long story short, like, what interacts do you have with your neighbors? Do you. Do you. Have you ever lent them a cup of sugar?

[B]

No, but we talk often. Like, you remember when that guy broke into my. Into my drag garage when I first moved?

[A]

Was he gay?

[B]

I don't know.

[A]

I thought he looked gay in the video.

[B]

Why? Did he look gay?

[A]

He looked like. He looked gay.

[C]

He looked like.

[B]

He was like. No, he did not get that at all. So you should I post some videos?

[A]

You have so many videos of your fucking drag garage already.

[B]

You vlog.

[A]

You, you, you, you, you.

[B]

Jacob. Remind me.

[A]

I'll send it.

[B]

I'll send it to the media group.

[A]

Hello, my name is Daniel. And my.

[B]

And my passion is. Is photography. It's photography one time while. I don't know, something to capture.

[A]

Capturing a.

[B]

No, once I was. I was capturing myself in the lake.

[A]

In the lake?

[B]

Yeah. What's the lake? Lago More Lagos. You would. You would.

[A]

Yeah, yeah, you would.

[B]

The uprace at Mar a Lago. Oh, my friend Trump Lake. You would tell his rangers free associated. You're the New Yorker.

[A]

That's your neighbor.

[B]

Lago.

[A]

That's your neighbor.

[B]

A beautiful something.

[A]

Wait, where you at? Wait, I kept a reflection on the lake. And I don't know, I thought.

[B]

I thought it said.

[A]

I thought that said lindo. A ready. Lindo means ready.

[B]

Improvisaro.

[A]

Beautiful is leasto. So a beautiful something decision.

[B]

Decided to be my model.

[A]

Oh.

[B]

Decided to be my mom. Like, on the spot.

[A]

Like a beautiful fish. What was it?

[B]

A beautiful what?

[A]

Poto. What's a pot?

[B]

Pot? That's like.

[A]

That's like.

[B]

Like a dude. Like a guy.

[A]

No, that's Paco.

[C]

I know what it is. Do you want me to tell you?

[B]

What? Yeah. What is it?

[C]

It's a. A duck.

[B]

A beautiful duck. So like. So like Lena, some Spanish people say, like to greet each other. They like, hey, pato. Paco, they say pato.

[A]

They call each other ducks.

[B]

Maybe it's like a. I don't know, like, turn of phrase.

[A]

Spanish people do that in Spain?

[B]

Yes, I've heard Spanish would do it. I've heard Puerto Ricans do it. I've heard. I think it's a cross.

[A]

I got more so Mexican. I got an argument.

[C]

Oh, I mean, I also. Apparently it's also slang for like a gay man because, like, you walk like a duck.

[A]

See, I got into an argument once with Zway on her show. They didn't air it.

[B]

What was the argument?

[A]

I told her that Spanish people are Hispanic. And then her whole crew was like, no, they're not. And I was like, they are. Spanish people from Spain are Hispanic. And she was like, people from Spain are not Hispanic.

[B]

And then what did they say? They were?

[A]

I don't know what they said. They can't believe they're not Hispanic. I was like, no, they are. And I was like, well, Hispanic just means you're from a country where they speak Spanish.

[C]

That's all.

[A]

Hispanic means. Hispanic means whatever you're describing as Hispanic. They're language of origin is Hispanic or their national language is. I mean, is Spanish. And they kept being like, no, Spanish people are not Hispanic.

[B]

But you can't say, I'm not giving me, like, what then what are they?

[A]

I don't know what. They're Hispanic.

[B]

But what were they saying? They were. They're not Hispanic.

[A]

They didn't give an alternative. They just. They were just saying they. All they were saying was they're not Hispanic. And I was like, they are Hispanic anyway. But they didn't air that because. Because then everyone was like, you're right, you're right. Z way. And they. And then I couldn't Google that. My phone. And then someone was. Someone was googling it and said, she was right. And then I left and Google. I was like, y' all are crazy. That's crazy. Anyway, okay, A duck decided to be a beautiful duck.

[B]

Decided to be my model. I don't know, say acer con narando con active. Professional.

[A]

Wait, so wait, with.

[B]

With not attitude.

[A]

Maybe it is attitude. Maybe the duck had like some little sassy attitude.

[B]

Is not attitude, though.

[A]

Y poso.

[B]

I think poso is from pasar. So poso is some type of conjugate of pasar.

[A]

What the fuck is pasar?

[B]

Means to pass.

[A]

So the duck was passing by. Como is like with. No, that's con. No.

[B]

Yeah. Con is como is how. Oh, like, oh, this duck is a professional.

[A]

And toto is like all. Yeah.

[B]

Oh, all these ducks are professional.

[A]

Professional.

[C]

Can you read out the full sentence?

[A]

Just so people, the sentence is se acero nadando con actitude y posto como toro un professional inesperado y tierno que mi mori de la riza. Mori de la riza. Yeah. I don't know. I don't know what the fuck this is. It's about a duck. The duck is a model. The lake. There's a photographer. His passion is photography.

[B]

And the duck, he gagged at how the duck was.

[A]

And the duck did something conti.

[B]

Yeah,

[A]

the duck got all cunty on they asses.

[C]

I was trying to capture the reflection of a lake at sunset when a cute duck decided to be my impromptu model.

[B]

Okay?

[C]

He swam up with attitude and posed like a pro.

[A]

What was attitude?

[C]

It was so unexpected and cute that I died laughing.

[A]

Okay, so we were.

[B]

You see, but here's the thing. If someone was, okay, if. If a Mexican was speaking this to me, I would be like. I would be 30% there.

[A]

Oh. I would be like, can you slow down and let me. Let me process everything real quick.

[B]

A Dominican spoke this sentence to me.

[A]

I would have whiplash, papi. Girl, I'd be like, girl, you have.

[B]

When Dominican people speak Spanish to me, I just cannot. It's too fast.

[A]

So when I was in Mexico, I was. When I was in Mexico, one of the ladies, Guadalupe, would not speak English to me, but she would not speak. She didn't speak English and I don't speak Spanish.

[B]

This is when you were with Madonna?

[A]

No.

[B]

Oh, it's another God, I know where.

[A]

And then. But she would talk to me as if I knew what she was saying and I was just not. I don't know what I was agreeing to. I might have give this woman half my. Half my. I don't know what I was gonna. I probably thought I was gonna do something crazy. I'm just not. And she would. She would like, sit down and just talk to me in Spanish for a, like, for a very long time. Like, we'd be there for like 20, 30 minutes, and she's just talking.

[B]

And what are you doing in this time?

[A]

Nodding like, yeah, see, See, honey, See, Miss Mama not knowing what the fuck is going on. But she. I think that Guadalupe just wanted someone to listen to her.

[B]

How old is Guadalupe?

[A]

Guadalupe might have been in her 6, 60s, or maybe a really good 70 something. Like a really healthy 70 something. And Guadalupe would just sit there and she would just. She wasn't even doing. She wasn't. It wasn't. She wasn't. She wasn't making stuff. She wasn't. She wasn't typing. She was just looking at me and just.

[B]

Just talking, just nodding.

[A]

And I was just like, yep. Yeah.

[B]

I mean, it was also like. You know, you ever go to like a. When you. You see English speakers in a foreign speaking country and they just are just speaking English. Loud, I was like, does not make someone understandable. Like, how do you get to the

[A]

other side of the street?

[B]

I'm like, is. You think loud is gonna make them understand what you're saying?

[A]

You know what really drives me crazy? When.

[B]

Volume, girl.

[A]

You and Heidi LeBron used to both do this and drive me. You and Heidi LeBron used to both do this and would drive me crazy.

[B]

What?

[A]

We'd be at the diner and then the waiter would come up, and then they wouldn't understand what you were saying. And then you would say it again in the exact same way that you said it. You and Hunter Bronx used to both do this. He's driving me crazy.

[C]

Like.

[A]

Like the way to Come. You'd be like, can I get some ketchup? And they'd be like, excuse me. You go, can I get some ketchup? Then they'd be like, I'm sorry. You go, can I get some ketchup?

[B]

Well, what's typically going on in that city, especially at the diner, it would be like, y'.

[A]

All.

[B]

It would be like fucking 12 drunk, sober, whatever, faggots at this bar, screaming. But you've never been drunk. What?

[A]

But I never seen you drunk.

[B]

I didn't say I was drunk.

[A]

One, you were.

[C]

Continue.

[B]

Anyways, and then so oftentimes it was. It wasn't that they couldn't understand what I was saying, it would just be too loud. So sometimes when you look at someone in the eyes or ask me a question, ask. Ask me a. I'm walking up to you.

[A]

How's everything?

[B]

Everything's good.

[A]

I'm sorry.

[B]

Everything's good.

[A]

That's not what you did. It is.

[B]

What?

[A]

I'm going do this now. I'm going to do what? You brunch. You ready? Ask how everything's going.

[B]

How's everything going?

[A]

I need some water.

[B]

How's everything going?

[A]

I need some water. That's not.

[B]

I would look at the person in

[A]

the eye, but I would always say, this is what I. If some of you can't hear someone, I would. I'd do two options. One is say it louder, say it slower, or just reframe the sentence. 3 options. Or reframe the sentence so it be like this. This is an option. Ready? That's what I'm doing.

[B]

How are you doing?

[A]

I need some water.

[B]

Huh?

[A]

Do you guys have water? I would like some, please.

[B]

Yeah, sure.

[A]

But you and honey.

[B]

That's not true. I would look at the. Maybe that's. Honey, the Bronx. I will look in the eyes. That's how I always act. A restaurant.

[A]

And you know something I was thinking of. Oh, something that drives me crazy. When you're. When you are, like, trying to make sure that you and someone are saying the same thing, and instead of saying, yes, you're saying the right thing, they just keep saying the thing over and over again. Like. What's your name? Alfie. Alfie. Alfie. Alfie. Are you saying Alfie? Alfie? No, not you. Oh, Alfie. Are you saying Alfie? Cody, come over here. Get your. Are you saying Alfie? Alfie. Are you saying Alfie? Alfie. That drives me insane. But I think someone, like. I would. What? I would like for someone to be like. That is correct. You're Saying the right thing instead of

[B]

just saying it back and forth over and over again.

[A]

Yeah, like, like, like, like, do, like, do it with me. Ready?

[B]

What color is this plant? Is this plant green?

[A]

Forest green.

[B]

Forest green.

[A]

Yes, forest green.

[B]

This is forest green.

[A]

Yes, you're saying correctly. Forest green.

[B]

Like forest green.

[A]

Like the dark green forest in the woods and green, like the color that of leaves. Yes, forest green.

[B]

But you think it's forest green and not just green.

[A]

Yes, I think what you're saying is forest green. I'm saying forest green. And this is correct. This is forest green.

[B]

And no one has ever said it's maybe Kelly green.

[A]

It could be Kelly green. But. But just so you could be clear, yes, I'm saying forest green, and you're saying forest green. But as Paul, other people like forest green. Forest green. Forest green.

[B]

Who is doing that?

[A]

It was a guy named Alfie. This happened with a guy named Alfie.

[B]

Okay, well, just a ring, because I think we have Alfie here. I want to hear from Alfie. Alfie side of the story.

[A]

It was a guy named Alfie. And I kept. But I.

[B]

He.

[A]

Because he never said, correct, Alfie. I thought he was saying something different. I called this. His name's not Alfie. I've been calling him Alfie. His name was Alby, and I called him Alfie for a long time. And then recently I introduced someone. I said, this is Alfie. And he goes, alfie. Now, my name's Alfred. And I was like, bitch. I thought it was Alfie. Because we were going back and forth going, alfie, Alfie, Alfie, Alfie, Alfie.

[B]

People that sit on chairs, a lot of things behind them. It drives me crazy. How do you do that?

[A]

What do you mean, things behind me?

[B]

You like people, you know. You know, people sit on chairs, they

[A]

be having, like, three pillows.

[B]

Every time I come to the studio, there are 49 items behind me. Why you don't feel uncomfortable,

[A]

girl?

[B]

I have to get rid of everything, y'.

[A]

All. They had a pillow three months. Yeah, I have a pillow on my chair.

[B]

I feel so uncomfortable when I sit on a chair with all that shit behind me. It drives me crazy. It's probably, like a sensory thing.

[A]

It just doesn't bother me.

[B]

Oh, you didn't feel that?

[A]

I felt them, but they didn't. They didn't bother me.

[B]

That's crazy.

[A]

Now I feel weird now they're not back there. I feel like the chair feels, like, empty.

[B]

Why do you want the chair with shit on it?

[A]

Well, I think if I would have sat down without these things, then that would have been one. But now I have to, like, readjust to what it feels like to have no readjust. It's great.

[B]

You have to readjust.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Because my back had the grumpkins. And the first time I came here,

[B]

there was, like, one cushion. I was like, okay, move it.

[A]

The second time I came, they had, like, four cushions. There's never four cushions in these chairs.

[B]

There was this one. There was the Monet one.

[A]

There was another little something.

[B]

A little something y' all had on this goddamn chair. It's too much.

[A]

You put. It's pretty standard to put. Oh, shit. My little grump is drunk. I can't put down a cup. Do you know about him?

[B]

No.

[A]

What's his name? I can't put down the cup. Dave Blunt. You know about Dave Blunt?

[B]

Is he a singer?

[A]

Dave Blunt is a rapper who did a song with Kanye, and then he's kind of problematic. He has a song called the cup. And so Dave Blunt is on tour, and he is going through a. A weight loss journey.

[B]

Oh, I've seen some. I've. Yes, I have heard about this guy.

[A]

And he is. He. He had to cancel his tour a few times because of his. Because of his health issues.

[B]

Oh, wow.

[A]

I don't. I don't know that his health issues are attached to his weight. I don't know that.

[B]

What's in this cup that he can't put down?

[A]

Lean.

[B]

Oh, that's liquor and coffee. Yeah.

[A]

You ever tried lean?

[C]

No.

[B]

I'm not interested.

[A]

So if I bought some lean right now, you wouldn't try it?

[B]

No, I don't like. You know what? As a kid in St. Lucia, I'd be sick. My mother would give me a fucking. Intravenously. Give me fucking dimetap. I hate the taste of, like, cough syrup. Even as an adult, I want you intravenously. Yeah, like in the van.

[A]

That's not true. Shut the fuck. Why would you say that? That was a crazy claim on the.

[B]

Why do you want to put these fucking grogans at me?

[A]

Oh, my God, they look drunk.

[B]

You just gotta make you a big one.

[A]

I don't need a big one.

[B]

Why? What if I got you a big one? Would you keep it?

[A]

You know, here's the thing.

[C]

Yes, we would.

[B]

Here's the thing.

[A]

As a general rule, I don't like stuffed animals.

[B]

So why do you have so many?

[A]

I like these because they're cute and they were gifts, and I have almost every.

[B]

You love the words, y'. All. Bob loves the. He loves no, if I. If you.

[A]

If I.

[B]

As a rule, I'm going to jump across.

[A]

As a rule. It's not a word.

[B]

I said phrase.

[C]

You said word. But I understand what you meant.

[B]

Whatever.

[A]

Can you acknowledge that you're wrong, please?

[B]

I can't acknowledge. I want you to get the off my.

[A]

At some point, you have to be able to say the words. At some point, you have to be able to say the words.

[C]

I was wrong.

[B]

Only to you. I will not. I don't feel like it.

[A]

Can you say you lost the foot?

[B]

When I feel like it, I will.

[A]

Can you say you lost the foot race?

[B]

Not today, Monet.

[A]

Does that feel like personal growth?

[B]

No, I feel great.

[A]

Unlike your feet. Does that feel like personal. Outside of your feet? What growth?

[B]

Yeah. Which one is it? Outside or inside my feet? Yeah, fucking fix your feet.

[A]

Everything's inside your feet. Them big ass. Well, you guys want to be.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

Check your phone. Where you gotta be? You're at work. Who texting you?

[C]

Who?

[B]

You my man, nigga.

[A]

Who you texting?

[B]

Why the fuck you wanna know who texting me?

[A]

You podcast with somebody else?

[B]

I sure do.

[A]

Who?

[B]

Don't worry about it.

[A]

Who?

[B]

Don't worry about it.

[A]

It'll be a flop. It'll be a flop, bitch.

[B]

I made you. I fucking made you. Okay, you see, you see these little tiles and all these little plants and. Well, I didn't do this. Well, all these little cords and wires and shit? Uninterrupted.

[A]

Uninterrupted. I'm going to give you an opportunity to describe in great detail how you've made me.

[B]

How I made you, bitch. By the success of fucking sibling motherfucking rivalry, bitch. You think you have the success of this podcast without me, ho? You think you'd have this sexy podcast without me, ho?

[A]

You could never.

[B]

And if you can replicate it, duplicate it. Do it again. April Showers, honey, bring May flowers.

[A]

Two good dragon days. They could be sisters. April Showers and May Flowers.

[B]

Okay, should we change our names now?

[A]

Can I interrupt? Describe how I made you?

[B]

No, I'm not interested. Because it's. And we've heard you say 19 times that every time the fans like, girl, so you know, talking.

[A]

So, you know. Yeah, stop touching because you it up with your big ass gorilla hands.

[B]

You got some nerve anyway.

[A]

See now, can't even say stay.

[B]

Watch this, watch this. Three, two, one. Lean with it.

[A]

You had to chest up with your big ass thighs. How long can you keep your legs like that?

[B]

You mean these dainty ass thighs?

[A]

So the way that I've Made you. You were really inspired by me as a New York City drag queen icon.

[B]

I was not. My mother, Honey Davenport inspired me a lot.

[A]

No, she definitely has some inspiration.

[B]

You think that she's no inspiration.

[A]

Not as big as me. Oh, physically. I'm physically bigger than she is, for one. So I'm a literal bigger inspiration than she is. And specifically to you. To you and your career. I would say. I would say I am probably the best thing that's ever happened in your career.

[B]

Never meeting in terms of what, like,

[A]

oh, meeting me, working with me. I encourage you to move to L. A. I encourage you to do drag. I encourage you to go on drag.

[B]

You did not encourage me. I just started drag before you.

[A]

But then you got back into.

[B]

I started drag before you.

[A]

I encouraged you to move to la. I encourage you to start podcasting.

[B]

You did not.

[A]

Yeah, no, let's be very clear.

[B]

Let's be very clear about how to podcast. You keep on saying this. We used to talk on the phone all the time, right? I got a drag race. Our connection was severing a little bit because I was shining brighter than you were. And then. So I was like. We literally had a phone in the conversation. I was like, girl, we don't even talk on the phone anymore. He's like, monet, well, let's do a podcast.

[A]

That's not true. What happened was me and Monet were talking on the phone all the time, and I said, these conversations are fun. We should do a podcast so people can hear what we're talking about. We were talking.

[B]

No, but not as much as we used to.

[A]

Well, but we. First, I would say we talked on the. You know, I have a stammer.

[B]

You don't. Yeah, with your fucking nigga lipid ass.

[A]

But because we were talking on the phone more. Because you and I didn't talk on the phone that much before Drag Race because we were actually spending physical time together.

[B]

Right?

[A]

So once you got on Drag Race, we started talking on the phone more and we started having these really silly conversations. And I was like, we should start a podcast.

[B]

But on the phone, you were trying to be. When we first started podcast, you was not trying to give the public the full breadth of our friendship because you were trying to protect your little public image and Persona.

[A]

Public image?

[B]

Yes.

[A]

She did what? Public giving.

[B]

Because you didn't want to give. Because all the heated debates we would have about veganism, all these things, you were trying to be like, oh, I don't want.

[A]

It's a liar. What are you talking about you don't

[B]

want to, like, show the public, like, really who you are. I will. I helped bring that out in you.

[A]

You are such a crazy liar. Your lies have gotten so astronomical. This is crazy. And I think that the point where they started getting really crazy, I would say the tipping point from when you're lies. I would say in the beginning, your lives were like faulty memory because of your drug use.

[B]

Drug use?

[A]

Yeah, your drug problem. And then I would say it became like this camp thing. Like, it started with that. That bit you did on the Pit Stop. You were doing something with one of the girls and you made a lie about something. I can't remember Nicole Byer being. Being a drag. Being a. A man. And then. And then somewhere down the line, the monation, which I think is. What's the word I want to use to describe people who are in monation? Enablers. I'll use the term enablers. They started really big up in you putting a battery in your back, as they say in Harlem, where you all stole it from Brooklyn. They put a battery in your back.

[B]

We have real New Yorkers here, so we're.

[A]

They put a battery in your back. That's not.

[B]

We're not even going to work with this nonsense anyway.

[A]

Then I would say the peakness of when the lies started getting really crazy was somewhere around the website. The website is when your lies have gotten. Which is pretty recent. Have gotten so unhinged. And I think your fans being like, I love when Mon does her little lies. They also like Jack, I live. I live. That's a pretty good Jack. That is pretty good. In the beginning. In the beginning. In the beginning, indeed. Be dinking. Monet wanted to do a podcast. Do you remember who you.

[B]

You.

[A]

Who you want. Who you almost turned me down to do a podcast with? Because you remember, don't you, Jacob? Do you remember who Monet told me, Bob, the drag queen, that she didn't want to do a podcast with me because she wanted to do the Momo show. No, no. See how I see.

[B]

Hold on.

[A]

Jacob is laughing because he remembered.

[B]

That's incorrect.

[A]

Momo. Because they said, I want to do the Momo show.

[B]

See how that's wrong? Because we did not even start. Monique and I didn't even have that conversation.

[A]

Her name's Mo. Wow.

[C]

Wow.

[B]

We didn't even have that conversation until after I won All Stars 4, so there's no way that's true.

[A]

You were on the same season of Drag Race. Yeah, but we did not.

[B]

That was a thing after All Stars. Four, you can ask Joe Garbino who they wanted to do it through. No. At that point, Viacom. So that's not even true.

[A]

Well, first of all, asking Ben don't work out for you because he likes you more than he likes you.

[B]

He likes what?

[A]

He likes me more than he likes you.

[B]

Call him and ask him.

[A]

I have the trophy.

[B]

I have the bigger one.

[A]

No money. I have the best host of the year. The same year you were hosting. No, you hosted that year.

[B]

But mine says best Pit Stop host ever.

[A]

It's, like, etched out. I saw. It's, like, etched out.

[B]

It's etched out.

[A]

Yeah, you like. You like it said of the year, and you cross it out and you put in, like.

[B]

Anyways.

[A]

But anyway, so Monet wanted to do that monetary wanted to do the Momo show, which I'm sure she's still available. You want to go. You want to work with your bestie Momo. She has a lot of nice things there.

[B]

But you on the Internet, she must address you. You keep on playing her, she gonna drag the out of you.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

Praising your white kings, honey. She gonna get your ass. Keep with Bohars.

[A]

So go do the. Go to the Momo show. Go do the Momo show. Does the offer still stand? Does the offer still stand?

[B]

Can you stay here?

[A]

I'm just wondering, America, you'll be digging

[B]

in that ass on Tick Tock right now.

[A]

My ass How?

[B]

There's a video right now about you.

[A]

What is it saying?

[B]

Dragging the out of you.

[A]

That's your best friend. Are y' all best friends?

[B]

No. Breaking news.

[A]

So let's get on to our topic. Today we're talking about.

[B]

We're done.

[C]

We were saving this copy for other time.

[B]

We're dead, girl.

[A]

We've been 45 minutes without the topic. We're gonna continue talking about English. You derailed this episode. I like how everything.

[B]

Literally blaming me. Stop screaming, blaming it and blaming me. This is every single episode, y'.

[A]

All.

[B]

This is how Bob does. He does a whole thing. They'll be like, you. You're the one who did it. It's your fault.

[A]

I would never say those things.

[B]

Don't touch me.

[A]

Touch my hand. Oh, reach out and touch.

[B]

Hell no. Somebody trans.

[A]

I feel like you and I. I kept trying to singing with you yesterday, and I feel like you were intimidated by my singing and which is why you kept choosing to not sing. It is true.

[C]

Can you tell more about this? Can you tell the story a little bit more?

[A]

So I was trying to sing songs from Rent. I wanted to Be Mark and Roger. And then I think that everyone, like, at one point I was singing M1A was like, wow, the vocal lessons are paying off. And then I was like, well, let's do a duet. And then I felt like you were intimidated and you didn't want to sing

[B]

it anymore because of. How can you. Can you tell me how my intimidation manifested?

[A]

Well, I would sing, and then when I would use my new technique, I would like. I would belt. We call it belting in the business,

[B]

and some colloquially, we call it screaming. That's how we describe it.

[A]

But I was belting. No, you squelch screaming and belting. I belt. I use my technique. And then it felt like there was, like, some, like, intimidation from my newfound me finding my voice. And I don't know, it seemed like you were intimidated by it, so you didn't want to engage with it anymore.

[C]

Okay.

[B]

Well, I think for me, what my experience with that was was that as I sat there and we were in a pretty long photo shoot, you know, I was subject to being with you for upwards of four hours.

[A]

You were lucky enough to be with

[B]

me for four hours. We were there, and Bob was hard to belt songs. But as Bob knows, I know some select music theater things. I don't know a lot of music theater. It's not in my bag.

[A]

The filmmaker cannot see.

[B]

And just one little thing I want to see.

[A]

I'm a songwriter. Can,

[B]

you know, sometimes thing with Bob, you know, I will acknowledge the voice lessons are helping out. It's changed so much for you, and the voice has improved. But I think a place where you still are trying to find your footing is finding the same. A consistent key in one song.

[A]

Sing with me. We're living in America with me at the end of the millennium. You don't. I'm. How you gonna tell me it's the wrong key? I'm choosing this key. How are you gonna tell me my key's wrong?

[B]

Kevi, can you. Do you hear that in just that, that one line?

[A]

We're living in America at the end of the millenium. Living in America.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

Where it's like the Twilight Zone. And when you're living in America at the end of the millennium.

[B]

Gagger.

[A]

You're.

[B]

You're now and you're what you own.

[A]

Ooh, Excuse me. So. So I own. Not enough.

[B]

I don't know this song about.

[A]

This is.

[C]

This is like.

[A]

Like when we did. When we sang. What Is this Feeling?

[B]

Loathing.

[A]

What's the song called?

[B]

What is this Feeling?

[A]

What is this Feeling. And I sounded good on that song.

[B]

Which time?

[A]

With the video. At Christmas at your home.

[C]

This is a podcast review on itunes from a Jill Auto. Three stars. I love listening to them. So why three stars? Well, minus one star for the constant scream. Singing slash rapping. That hurts my ears. Why do they have to constantly sing slash rap? I'm always fast forwarding through these sections.

[A]

That person white. Probably there's someone always there that doesn't white.

[C]

Her name is public on the website, but maybe we'll bleep that.

[A]

I was her name. Okay, real quick, before we go. I know we're running out of time. Have you seen you?

[B]

Of course I've been on you.

[A]

And do you watch Dexter?

[B]

No, I've never seen Dexter.

[A]

Okay. So they. I just started. You see. Don't know spoilers. Jacob went on a spoiler spree this morning.

[B]

I don't know why you're surprised. That is literally Jacob all the time.

[A]

Also, the context.

[C]

He asked me an opinion about a show without being like. Without knowing.

[A]

Okay, yeah, breathe. I'm trying to figure out how to fast breathe. Someone just fast forwarded.

[C]

He asked me a question about the show. You. Without disclosing where he was or that he was watching it.

[B]

Also, you're like, six years late, bro.

[C]

The show that's, like, ended, like, two years ago. So I assume that you've been busy and were asking me a question based on the full series. And in fact, you were only in

[A]

episode four of season one. So Jacob gave. I was like. I was gagged.

[B]

Do you like it?

[A]

I don't think it's a good show, but I want to keep watching. And I can't explain that. Like, I don't think it's particularly. Particularly well written. I think it's derivative of Dexterity, like, with the constant inner monologue and, like, the talking to yourself. I feel like the kid from season one is kind of like the dad in a way.

[B]

The kid.

[A]

The kid who sits on the stairs with the abusive stepdad.

[B]

Oh, the you of Joe.

[A]

Yeah, yeah.

[B]

Like little young Joe. Oh, is that a spoiler?

[A]

Are you serious?

[B]

Sorry. I don't know why I thought you're

[A]

watching the show, you know, that serious right now.

[B]

I thought. I didn't realize that that was a. I thought.

[A]

Thank you.

[B]

Thank you, Monetous.

[A]

We just said I was on episode four of season one. Girl. We saw that eight years ago.

[B]

I didn't realize. I thought that you knew that from the beginning of the show.

[A]

There has to be a bit. This has to be a Bit.

[B]

I didn't realize.

[A]

That's crazy that you would say that.

[B]

I didn't realize it was a secret. I thought you knew. That was understood.

[A]

His name is Paco. Is it?

[C]

Yes.

[A]

His name. Not young Joe.

[B]

Bob, you cannot use context clues to realize you're watching the show about a serial killer and wondering, the kid you're

[A]

seeing getting beat up by his dad,

[B]

what happens to him when he gets older?

[A]

Hello. This is. You've ruined my day. You've ruined my viewing experience. Do you want to tell people at home a spoiler alert in case you. So you don't ruin it the way you ruined it for me. I had no clue. That would have gagged me.

[B]

Bob, context. Luke. Babe, seriously, how does that make sense?

[A]

Okay, What? He. He gave himself a shopping list, and then his stepdad found the.

[C]

Do you want us to spoil more for you?

[A]

No.

[B]

Well, you're asking questions.

[A]

I didn't ask that question. You did.

[B]

You said about the cat.

[A]

It doesn't make sense. We can tell you how it makes sense. I don't want to hear how it makes sense. That's insane. Anyway, I cannot believe you just did that.

[B]

Realize. I honestly thought that was what you knew from the beginning of the show.

[A]

No, you didn't know that.

[B]

I mean, girl, I saw it eight years ago.

[A]

Years. I remember you finally said years. I'm proud of you.

[B]

Oh, my God. Anyway, Jacob, what time is it? It's time to go.

[A]

Don't ask. Jacob, what time?

[C]

We have two minutes left.

[A]

Yeah, you're gonna. And you're gonna sit here, and you're gonna sit there and listen me with

[B]

a blender in my hole.

[A]

And you're gon. But you want. You want to ruin something else. What happens in the end of Passion of the Christ? I haven't finished Titanic yet. I'm halfway through.

[B]

What happens. There's a guy named Judas.

[A]

Don't do this to me. He said he's a good guy, right? Don't do this to me.

[C]

Did you see Cynthia at Hollywood Bowl?

[B]

No.

[A]

I did. I did. Anyway, what I was saying was. I still can't believe you did that. But I can move past that. What was driving me crazy is they put Dexter and Joe in scenario that he could never get out of, but no matter what, he always gets out of it. It feels like it's a writing challenge between. It feels like two different people writing episodes. Like, trading off writing episodes. Like, episode one is written by me, and then I'm like, how can I put Dexter in a situation that he could never get out of. And then you have to pick it up at episode two, and then you figure out a way. And then you put Dexter in some crazy scenario. And then I have to get creative and figure out how to get Dexter out of that thing too.

[B]

I think for me, shows like that, they don't bother me because, like, obviously I. Like, I know the show goes to the end. Yes, it does happen a lot. This is a trope you see a lot in the show. He's. He's killed the ladies, fall down the stairs, and the police are coming. And as. And as the police are coming down the stairs, he happens to crawl out the window. Like, I know that happens a lot, but it doesn't bother me because I'm here for the camp and the theater of it all. So I'm not like, the show is ruined. I'm like, I mean, I'm watching Kathy

[A]

Bates character discusses misery in Misery.

[B]

Her character. Oh, in Paul Sheldon's book she's reading because.

[A]

No, it's not about Paul Sheldon, but it's about a movie she used to watch. She used to go to the movies as a kid. And then in one episode, he. One episode is like, they were like a TV show at the movie theater, basically. And in one episode, he. He drove off the cliff. And then next week, they showed him ducking out of the car before he drove off. And she was like, that's a lie. That's not what happened last week. Like, why are you guys applauding? This is bullshit. He did not roll out of the car. And that's how I feel about Dexter resurrected.

[B]

What is this, a new show? Spoiler alert.

[A]

See how I give a spoiler alert?

[B]

It's a new show.

[A]

You see how I give a spoiler alert?

[B]

It's a new show.

[A]

I'm just wanna ask you to see

[C]

how I know it's a new show.

[A]

So spoiler alert at the end of it is.

[B]

It's just coming out now.

[A]

It's finishing up on Friday.

[B]

Are you watching it currently?

[A]

Yes. So at the end of the last season, Dexter was fully killed. Fully killed by who? His son. And in this season, Dexter is just alive and well. Not well. But he's like. They were like, actually, he didn't die. Actually, he almost died. And I'm like, no, you guys cheated. You killed him. And then you try to act like he didn't die.

[B]

Yeah, it's not like that doesn't bother me because I'm like, I like the show, I like the series. I like, like, I'M like. I'm like. It's fucking like. No one's really dead anyway. So that doesn't bother me in shows. It doesn't bother me because I like

[A]

based on a real person.

[B]

I like, I like this. I like, I like TV actually based on a true story. No, it's not.

[A]

It is the Bay Harbor Butcher.

[B]

No, it's not.

[A]

No, it is not lying. The Bay Harbor Butcher is.

[B]

See, do you see why people can't believe it? Because you're always doing a bit.

[A]

The Bay Harbor Butcher is a real person.

[B]

No, it's not. I don't believe you. Or Jake Wolf and your boyfriend of lies. You and Jacob lie also.

[A]

He's actually the Bay Area Butcher and it happened in San Francisco.

[B]

And I don't believe you can tell me. He's supposed to Social Security number. I won't believe you. Well, you lie because you're a liar.

[A]

But we know that you lie.

[B]

You lie as well.

[A]

And it takes one.

[B]

You lie a lot.

[A]

And here we are connected through our lives. Touch my fucking hand, bitch.

[B]

And the two minutes are done. Thank you guys so much for coming on my show.

[A]

The two minutes are not done.

[C]

Nearly two decades after the gruesome discovery of dozens of dismembered bodies wrapped in plastic and offshores, authorities say they are reopening the infamous Bay Harbor Butcher case. The killer, dubbed by local media as the Bay Harbor Butcher terrorized south Florida between 1992 and 1998. Divers first stumbled upon the remains off coast near Bay Harbor Islands, sparking one of the largest investigations in Miami.

[A]

And now the episode's done.

[B]

It's not. We have literally 22 seconds left. I'm watching the clock. Three, two, one. And now it's done. Thank you all. There's the clock, y'.

[A]

All. He's lying again.

[B]

It's a clock. Literally right there.

[A]

Why are you lying? Such a bad liar. This is crazy.

[B]

The clock.

[A]

Use your phone and take a picture of the clock. Take a picture of the clock right

[B]

now and it's going to be end. If y' all are looking at a picture of the clock right now in

[A]

the episode Editing Ed. Goodbye, Vin.

[B]

Good bye.

[A]

You're such a troll.

[B]

Instacart understands that not all bananas are created equal. Some people want them green, some want them ripe, some want them ready right now. With Instacart's Preference Picker, now available at most retailers, you can choose how you like certain items like banana ripeness, deli thickness, even avocados before your shopper even starts. So instead of crossing your fingers and hoping for the best. You get groceries picked the way you would pick them. It's a small thing, but it makes a big difference. Download the app and get bananas just how you like with Instacart.