The One At The Family Reunion

Summary

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Sibling Rivalry: The One At The Family Reunion

Episode Air Date: September 10, 2025
Hosts: Monét X Change & Bob the Drag Queen
Theme: A live show taped in Brooklyn that explores the messy, hilarious joys and dramas of sibling relationships—both real and chosen family—featuring classic stories, playful banter, and raucous audience interactions.

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Episode Overview

This raucous live episode of Sibling Rivalry brings Monét X Change and Bob the Drag Queen back to New York for a “family reunion” themed night stuffed with laughs, shade, and audience engagement. The duo dive into their actual family backgrounds, sibling dynamics, Drag Race “sisters,” messy childhood stories, and, as always, delight in roasting each other and their community. This episode is perfect for fans craving their signature chaos, candid vulnerability, and fearless humor.

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Key Topics & Discussion Highlights

1. Weathering Brooklyn & New York Nostalgia

• [01:03–03:00] The audience is thanked for braving weather mishaps, as the outdoor event was forced inside due to rain.
  • Bob: “Mother Nature came for us...we are packed in here like sardines...thank you all for rolling with the punches.”
• [03:21–04:29] Reminiscing about previous live shows in NYC and gratitude for returning to their musical, drag, and chosen family roots.

2. New York Specifics, Broadway, and Idina Menzel

• [04:03–06:35] Bob and Monét recount Bob’s previous night at Moulin Rouge with celebrity sightings, and debate the relatability and greatness of Idina Menzel and the Frozen soundtrack.
  • Monét: “Let It Go crawled so Into the Unknown could fucking walk, bitch. Just like me. Let it go paved the way for you to exist.” [07:10]

3. Sibling Hierarchies: Drag Race Parallels & IRL Realness

• [07:23–08:53] Bob pokes fun at Monét always following in his footsteps—from Drag Race to moving to LA—sparking cheeky competition over career and podcast “ownership.”
  • Monét: “Honey, I own 51% of Sibling Robbery, okay? So I am making 1% more than you.” [08:14]
  • Bob: “If you believe that, I got some land in Florida I want to sell you...Everyone knows I own 40%, you own 40%, and Jacob owns 20.” [08:21]

4. Real Siblings: Childhood Photos, Family Pets & Blended Families

• [09:09–15:47] Sharing old photos and stories, including Bob’s childhood with his brother Justin and Monet’s upbringing with chickens in the backyard. Discussion of blended/extended families, large age gaps, and the awkwardness (and drama) of meeting long-lost siblings:
  • Bob: “My mom used to do this thing where if I was crying...she would take out the camera and take a picture of me every time I started crying.” [10:05]
  • Monét: “Did we eat the chickens? No! They were our pets.” [10:54]
  • Bob on blended family drama: “I went looking for my brother in Mississippi...his mother didn’t want us to meet because she thought I was gonna introduce him to my father...” [15:33]

5. Sex, Siblings, and NYC Coming-of-Age

• [15:47–18:47] Monét details (to shocked laughter from Bob and the audience) having slept with brothers as a teen, and the wild uniqueness of New York childhoods—cutting school for hookups, the difference between middle and high school escapades.
  • Bob, deadpan: “Leaving middle school or high school to hook up is crazy...were any New York City high school kids leaving school to fuck adults?” [18:23]

6. Sibling Fights: Age Gaps & Justice

• [19:08–24:46] Both hosts recount feuding with their siblings—fights over TV, video games, playing “annoy the bear,” and opinions on what age/sibling differences justify fighting.
  • Monét, on antagonizing her brother Sean: “I would hover my hand over the cord to the game...he’d say, ‘Kevin, do not do it,’ and I’d be, ‘you think I won’t?’ Yank and run!” [21:18]
  • Quote: Bob: “There’s no time frame where it’s okay for an 18-year-old to beat up a 12-year-old. No mental gymnastics!” [24:24]

7. Only Children & Favorite Children

• [25:38–28:44] Comparing only-child energy to siblings and cousins, with playful shade for “weird” only kids, and a candid reveal about family favoritism.
  • Bob: “If you’re not the favorite, I can’t imagine it feels fun. But you were the favorite. But you were also the least favorite because you’re the only child. Oh—amongst the grandchildren.” [28:12]

8. Drag Race Sisters & Chosen Family Hierarchies

• [29:29–33:47] Who’s in the “Drag Race family”? The hosts sort Drag Race peers into categories—sisters (Naomi Smalls, Kim Chi, Peppermint), aunties (Bianca), or cousins (Thorgy).
  • Monét, on Bianca: “Bianca’s not a sister. She feels like an aunt.” [31:06]
  • Bob, on Thorgy: “Thorgy’s a cousin...the drunk cousin that shows up at the barbecue every year.” [31:29]

9. “Name That White Woman” (Live Game Segment)

• [33:49–47:00] The infamous game returns: Jacob (their producer) quizzes the hosts on photos of famous white women. Bob struggles with recognition unless they are “fat or funny-looking.” Audience roars as Monét and Bob wildly guess (and argue) over stars like Sandra Bullock, Nicole Kidman, Julia Garner, and more.
  • Bob, dryly: “I do not recognize these white women. They’re uncloggable…or indistinguishable.” [48:03]

10. Twins, Gooning, & Feet

• [48:03–53:00] Would they sleep with twins? (Yes, from Monét.) Hilarious off-the-cuff definition of “gooning”—and the duo’s unease and jokes about foot fetishes and feet-related boundaries.
  • Monét: “Let me take these puppies for a spin!” [50:31]
  • Bob: “My feet are mangled, tangled, and spaghetti...my price wasn’t the women’s price, wasn’t the men’s price—I was in the next bracket at the nail salon!” [55:08]

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Notable Quotes & Moments

• [07:10] Monét: “Let It Go crawled so Into the Unknown could fucking walk, bitch. Just like me. Let it go paved the way for you to exist.”
• [08:14] Monét: “Honey, I own 51% of Sibling Robbery, okay? So I am making 1% more than you.”
• [10:05] Bob: “My mom used to do this thing where if I was crying...she would take out the camera and take a picture of me every time I started crying.”
• [21:18] Monét: “I would hover my hand over the cord to the game...he’d say, ‘Kevin! Do not do it...’ Yank and run, girl. You know what I’m saying?”
• [24:24] Bob: “There is no mental gymnastics you can do to convince me an 18-year-old can beat up a 12-year-old.”
• [28:12] Bob (teasing Monét): “But you were the favorite. But you were also the least favorite because you’re the only child. Oh—amongst the grandchildren.”
• [31:29] Bob (on Thorgy): “Thorgy’s a cousin...the drunk cousin that shows up at the barbecue every year.”
• [48:03] Bob: “I do not recognize these white women. They’re uncloggable…”
• [55:08] Bob: “My feet are mangled, tangled, and spaghetti...my price wasn’t the women’s price—it wasn’t the men’s price—I was in the next bracket at the nail salon!”
• [53:48] Monét (blunt financial standards): “He insisted on driving me back to my car...he gives me $500...I was like, you think I’m that cheap?”

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Timestamp Guide to Key Segments

• 01:03-03:00 – Kicking off with rain-delayed crowd and NYC homecoming
• 04:29-06:35 – Broadway, Wayne Brady, Taye Diggs, and Idina Menzel banter
• 07:23-08:53 – Who paved the way in drag and career?
• 09:09-15:47 – Family photos, pets, stories of siblings and extended families
• 15:47-18:47 – Sex and unique “growing up NYC” experiences
• 19:08-24:46 – Sibling fights, age gap debates
• 28:32-29:25 – Favorite child confessions and family favoritism
• 29:29-33:47 – Drag Race sibling tree, defining “sisters, cousins, nieces”
• 33:49-47:00 – Name That White Woman, live game with escalating chaos
• 48:03-53:00 – Would you sleep with twins? Feet, edging, gooning, and foot boundaries
• 53:48-56:02 – Feet anecdotes: massages, pedicures, Bob’s physical boundaries

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Tone & Style

Energetic, relentless, and outrageously candid. Bob reigns with dry wit and self-deprecating humor, while Monét is playful, mischievous, and unfiltered. Banter mixes raw honesty and classic queer shade. The chemistry is improvisational and theatrical, making the episode both raucously funny and sneakily heartfelt.

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For New Listeners

This episode offers an essential snapshot of the Sibling Rivalry dynamic: quick teasing, cutthroat games, deep-cut stories, and a community-first energy. No Drag Race knowledge required—you’ll get inside jokes, heartfelt asides about family (both biological and found), and the kind of raw, room-filling laughter that only comes from true chosen kin.

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Transcript

[A]

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[B]

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[C]

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[B]

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[C]

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[D]

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[B]

My name is Bob the Drag Queen.

[D]

And I'm Monet X Change.

[B]

And this is sibling rivalry. Oh, my goodness. Can I just say, first of all, thank you all for. Mother Nature came for us. I said Mother Nature came for us.

[D]

Oh, yeah. The rain, the rain, the rain.

[B]

So I know we are packed in here like sardines and we supposed to be outside, but thank you all for rolling with the punches. Thank you all.

[A]

Yes.

[D]

Brooklyn, how the fuck y' all doing tonight?

[A]

Girl,

[B]

As a real New Yorker that you say you are, do you know the lyrics to Itty Bitty Piggy?

[D]

Of course I know the lyrics to Itty Bitty Piggy, bitch.

[B]

Let's hear it.

[D]

First of all, don't try me on something because you still don't know the Queen's remix, bitch. So don't try it. First of all.

[B]

First of all, I never said I knew it.

[D]

But you came with a podcast and acted like you did.

[B]

No, I did not. And you still don't know it to this day. No, don't help her.

[D]

I'm not doing it right now. Cause you don't know it because you don't know it. Let's talk to them first, then I'mma fucking eat your ass up on this stage

[B]

Anyway. Wait. If you know the lyric Itty Bitty Piggy, it shouldn't be a problem to do it right now.

[D]

I got to do it with the song, though.

[B]

Hey, yo, I was on the plane with Dwayne.

[D]

You can call me. Don't go to hell, man. Don't help Her, I'm the baddest in the school, baddest in the game.

[B]

Me, no, no, I ain't in the same.

[D]

Whereas you was in New York, you was the Yankee.

[B]

That's it. See, she don't know it. I was fucking with bass. I was pitching to Frankie. These bitches so cranky get in my hanky my mommy, I'm cold Give me my blankie flyer than the kite I get higher than the bundle Keep the stove white I can buy it by

[D]

the bundle Stack the cookie don't be

[B]

yakin like the cod knows the gon bomb her bumble the cardinals that's what I said anyway. Oh, my God.

[D]

I have to say, you know, because it is so fucking good to be back in New York City. Specifically in Brooklyn, New York, because some of y' all used to come see us when we did live shows. We did Sony theater. We did the Bell House in Brooklyn, and now we're. But our very, very, very first show ever was a $3bill. Make some noise if you were at that show. Oh, my God.

[B]

Some people work, so it is always nice to be back here. Oh. Oh, yeah.

[D]

God don't like ugly. He gonna shut your mic off on you.

[B]

So now you believe in God. Interesting.

[D]

Hallelujah.

[B]

Yes, it is. I know it is. Obviously. What do we do? So, first of all, what kind of New York City shit have you done? You just got here.

[D]

Yeah, y', all, my flight literally landed at 2:06, and I took an Uber straight from JFK. And I came here. Cause I could not be late for the civic robbery family reunion. Okay? So I have not wash my ass. My balls stink just a little bit, but they smell just enough in the right way. You know what I'm saying?

[B]

The whole front row passes out. Last night, I went to go see Moulin Rouge on Broadway.

[D]

How was Was very fun.

[B]

I saw Wayne Brady and Taye Diggs. Oh, yeah, and Taye Diggs is still so hot to this very day.

[D]

She is.

[B]

I know Idina Menzel is kicking her feet somewhere every time she see Taye Diggs.

[D]

No, girl, because she happy. Every time somebody says, let it go, she checks a fucking million dollars. She don't give a fuck, girl. She's rich. She's loaded.

[B]

Money's not everything.

[D]

Yes, it is, girl.

[B]

Ew.

[D]

It's 2025, girl. We are all barely trying to make it biz.

[B]

Not capitalist Monet again. Why am I.

[D]

Because God don't like ugly.

[B]

Let's keep telling that joke, see if it keeps landing. No, I Don't think she's sometimes. First of all, Idina Mazel has never has not been broke since she was in a rant. She's never has. No struggles with money, obviously.

[D]

Really? I mean, she didn't rent. You mean, like the movie or, like the Broadway show?

[B]

Bro. She went from. She has been, like, an act, a working actor. Since she did Race, she has never had a moment.

[D]

I just know her from Frozen and the Disenchanted. What's the one? Wicked? No, no. Enchanted. When she's, like, the evil person. No. Oh, no. She plays the girlfriend. But wasn't she, like, evil into that? No.

[B]

Well, she was in Rent, then. She was in Rent, then she did Glee. She played Lea Michele's mom.

[D]

Oh, yeah. Glee. Right, right, right.

[B]

Then she did Frozen. Then she did Frozen, too. So she has been cashing checks for a very long time.

[D]

Yeah. Honestly, Anna and Elsa, they're iconic siblings.

[B]

Who?

[D]

Anna and Elsa.

[B]

Oh, they are siblings.

[D]

They're siblings.

[B]

I don't really fuck with Frozen like that.

[D]

Why?

[B]

I mean, I watched it. It was fine, but I don't know. I'm an elder millennial, so when I think about the Disney greats, I'm thinking about Aladdin. I'm thinking about the Lion King. I'm thinking about the Little Mermaid. I'm not thinking about Let It Go. Let It Go. It was fine, but also realty. Let It Go is a fine song. It is.

[D]

Who is what is?

[B]

But Frozen 2 had the real banger.

[D]

Which one? No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Wait, wait, wait. Hold up.

[B]

Whoa, baby. Whoa, whoa, whoa.

[D]

You're saying into the Unknown is better than Let It Go? I got to poll the audience. If you think Let It Go is a superior song. Make some noise.

[B]

If you think into the unknown is hyperior. Make some noise.

[D]

No. First of all, Let It Go Crawled so into the unknown could fucking walk, bitch. Just like me. Let it go. Pave the way for you to exist.

[B]

Okay, imagine a world where everything I've ever done, you did it after me.

[D]

Like what?

[B]

Like drag? Like drag?

[D]

No, no, no.

[B]

Like Drag Race.

[D]

I was doing drag in high school because I did choir in high school, and high school is kind of like when we did choir, we did show choir, so it was kind of like drag for high schoolers.

[B]

That's Monet math. And then I went on Drag Race.

[D]

Thank you.

[B]

And then you went on Drag Race. I moved to la. You moved to la. I did the Traders. You did the Traders.

[D]

You're right. You're right. I know you Dropped out of college. I. Oh, wait. I did it.

[B]

But what job? Are you making more money than me? Do you have a different job than me?

[D]

Yes.

[B]

Baby, all you have over me is.

[D]

Honey, I own 51% of sibling robbery, okay? So I am making 1% more than you.

[B]

And if you believe that, I got some land in Florida I want to sell you, not Alligator Alcatraz. Everyone knows that. I own 40%. You own 40%. And Jake. Jacob owns the other 20.

[D]

Why does Jacob own 20% of Civil Library?

[B]

So we together own 60% of Civil Library.

[D]

Please.

[B]

And that's just the fact. And. And your. And your mom. Well, your. Your mom did own cell phone towers before I had an opportunity to do anything. This mic is gonna take me. I can't. I cannot do this podcast with this microphone. I cannot.

[D]

Funny. Fun fact, behind the stage, they were asking us which mic we wanted to. I knew that one was shitty, so I let Bob choose because I knew he would choose. You know what I mean?

[B]

So that's the only way she can outshine me, by setting me up. So today's episode is going to be about siblings. I saw a couple of folks here for the meet and greet who are actually here with their siblings. Who's here with their sibling.

[D]

Word.

[B]

So, wait, y'. All. So you two are siblings? Where y' all from? California? Virginia.

[C]

Virginia

[B]

do what? Hold on, hold on, hold on. Say again.

[D]

We live in bed Styling.

[B]

Oh, they live in Bedford Stuy.

[D]

Okay.

[B]

And did y'. All. Y' all moved here together, or who moved here first? Who moved to New York first? You paved the way.

[A]

And then.

[B]

Are you. Are you. Are you the. Who's older? Who's younger? She's older. And you're the baby brother. Oh, that's so cute.

[D]

Very cute. Wait. Oh, that's. Oh. Oh, my God. So that's a picture of Bob and I at our. In our childhood home.

[B]

I was thinking to myself, I remember this photo. I don't remember this gremlin being next

[D]

to me in the photo. Jacob composited two baby pictures of Bob and I together. That was me. Girl, I know.

[B]

You look like you was hungry, like you was asking for curry goat. I love this picture. So I still remember my mom. My mom used to do this thing where if I was crying whenever. And I was a crybaby, I cried all the time, nonstop. I was never not crying. And then my mother, if I started crying, she would take out the camera and take a picture of me every time I started crying.

[D]

And you were crying in that picture.

[B]

I just finished crying.

[D]

Yeah. Crocodile tears. Not a single fucking tear to be found. But you've been crossing since you were 7 years old.

[B]

And I'm a good actor. I caught wise to her tricks. I was like, oh, I'm not gonna let you have any more pictures of me crying. So I sucked it up and said,

[D]

And this picture of me is. We used to have a family chicken in the backyard. We did. I had chickens growing up.

[C]

Did you eat.

[B]

Did you eat them?

[D]

Did we eat them? No, we didn't eat them. They were our pets.

[B]

People. People eat chickens. Monet.

[D]

The eggs.

[B]

Did you use the eggs?

[D]

Oh, my God. Yeah. Yeah, we ate the eggs. We didn't eat the chickens.

[B]

I mean, people eat chickens.

[D]

I know, but you. But you wouldn't eat a family pet. Like, would you eat your family dog?

[B]

I mean, I wouldn't eat. I would not eat my family dog. But I'm saying it's not weird for people to have chickens. I have relatives who have chickens, and they eat them. Really? Yeah.

[D]

After how long?

[B]

When they're grown. Once the chicken's grown, you grab it, you chop it off, and you eat it.

[D]

When it moved up to college, we cooked it up, girl. What?

[B]

You wouldn't eat the chick. The chicks are too small. But once the chicken gets big enough and they've laid some eggs, you chop their heads off and then you eat them.

[D]

Oh, wow, that's so interesting. Yeah. Yeah. We didn't do that.

[B]

I mean, I was talking to Tao. Tao was saying that his family had a goat that he loved. And then he met this goat, and then he came home and. Bitch. The goat was on the table. Cut from nape to crotch. They was eating the. Go.

[D]

The goat.

[B]

The goat.

[D]

The family goat.

[B]

I don't think it was the. I think the family owned the goat. And then they ate the goat afterwards. Yeah.

[D]

Oh, my God.

[B]

Goat's good. See?

[D]

So, wait, so as a kid, when you had a sibling. When you were siblings with Justin, did you like to share?

[B]

We're still siblings.

[D]

Sorry. As a kid, did you like to share? Were you selfish?

[B]

I didn't really.

[D]

You said no.

[B]

You weren't there when I. I'm positive. You don't look old enough to have been there. No. When I was a kid, we had to. Everything we had had to be split evenly amongst us. So if I had it just. We should have the same clothes. We had the same haircut. We literally wore the exact. We had the same toys. We got the same dolls. Everything we got split down the middle. But I would Find. Yeah. So we each had our MC Hammer dolls.

[D]

Oh, my God.

[B]

This is my older brother Justin with his MC Hammer doll. We were massive MC Hammer fans. And then this is me opening my MC Hammer. This is at my grandma's house in Corinth, Mississippi. Yeah.

[D]

Well, you look very dissatisfied with your doll. What's going on there? Talk to us about this picture.

[B]

I was probably sleepy. It was like, I loved MC Hammer. I assure you. When I got this doll, I was turnt. But it was like, you know how the night before Christmas you stay up all night long?

[D]

Yeah.

[B]

So I had tried to stay up all night. I was tired, I was cooked. I spent. And then they were like, now wake up. Because I probably slept two hours. And then we come downstairs and then, you know, we get our MC Hammer dolls.

[D]

Honestly, this is. This is honest. This is current Bob. Anytime Bob has woken up from slumber, you look exactly like this. No matter if you had 10 hours, 2 hours, 30 hours of sleep, you're just always disoriented.

[B]

Monet has been saying for years that I'm the one disoriented. I'm just gonna give you this. Go back and listen to the podcast. The one where we just walked up. Monet is shook, shattered and shorn. Monet is confused walk. Looking the different direction. The camera over here, you're literally. You're making that.

[D]

It's not yours.

[B]

We have footages. We have footages.

[D]

Oh, yeah. That's so cute.

[B]

So this was. This was a. No, this is real. This. No, this is. No, no, no. This is not AI. This is a photo shoot. So this picture is a childhood picture of mine that we used to do at, like, Sears or Olen Mills or Macy or somewhere. I can't remember where. And then we actually recreated it for my mom for, like, her 58th birthday or something. It's very cute. That's my. That's my older. And actually, I actually have two brothers. I have a brother who is 41. 42. I'm 39. He's 42. Yeah, 42.

[D]

He's a gay.

[B]

He's a. Damn. It's a Kevin Hart Joe. It's a bit from the Internet, but I have a younger brother who's 18 years old.

[D]

Right. So that means you and your. Y' all are 20 years different.

[B]

21 years apart.

[D]

So I have a younger brother who's 10 years younger than me. He's 20. He's 25. And I have a younger brother. I have another younger brother who is now eight. Don't do that. Face, bitch. Judgy. You are judging. You are judging.

[B]

Eight years old is wild.

[D]

Currently eight years. Isn't that crazy?

[B]

Are you close?

[D]

No, no, no. We're not very close. No.

[B]

Do you want to be close with him?

[D]

Maybe in the future when I. He, like, after 18, I'll be his friend. Cold ass bitch.

[B]

I mean, I met my younger brother when he was, like, 14 years old, right? So I met my.

[D]

But that's through your dad.

[B]

No, my mother set it up.

[D]

Oh, your mother set up.

[B]

So I went looking for him in Mississippi. I was, like, trying to find my brother and, like, trying to find him, but his mother didn't want us to meet because she thought that I was gonna introduce him to my father, and she didn't wanna meet my dad and yada, yada, yada. So it was like a whole family drama thing.

[D]

Have you ever fucked siblings? No, not your siblings. Like, have you ever. Jesus Christ, y', all, we in Brooklyn, not Coney Island. Calm down, girl. This is not. This is not a side of Brooklyn that does that shit.

[B]

No, that's disgusting.

[D]

Have you ever A pair of siblings? I have for sure.

[B]

What siblings have you.

[D]

There were two brothers. I. Y', all, this is not the type of. I would never. Chad and Jerry, Lower east side, Alphabet City.

[B]

Are you lying now I'm dead ass. Alphabet's pretty girly. At the same time.

[D]

No, but they were both in the house at the same time.

[B]

Walk me through this disgusting story.

[D]

It's not disgusting. There were two brothers. We had met. This was before Grindr. This was Adam for Adam. For the millennial girl is in the house.

[B]

What was the Adam sound effect?

[D]

I just realized.

[B]

What was the Adam sound effect?

[D]

It stole it from Grindr. Grindr is brr. Adam Fatim was brrr.

[B]

Yeah. Cause a radar was a radar.

[A]

Yeah.

[D]

So I had met Chad on Adam for Adam. He's like, yo, what up? I had to cut school to do this. I was in 12th grade. I was in 12th grade. So I was 18. I was 18. And I met Chad. I talked to Chad, and he's like, yo, if you come through, my brother's here too. I was like, okay, dope.

[B]

Was it before Christmas or after Christmas?

[D]

It was after Christmas.

[B]

Okay. I'm trying to track the numbers.

[D]

And then. So I didn't go to school that day. I went to their apartment in Alphabet City, and then I hooked up with Chad, and I had to hook up with Jerry. But Jerry. I only sucked Jerry's dick. I fucked Chad.

[B]

When I talk to people who are Born and raised in New York City. I realized that y' all were living lives that the rest of us were not living. I was. I was talking to a. A woman, a white woman from Long island in her 60s. And I was like, I'm concerned because Monat tells these stories about leaving middle school to suck grown men.

[D]

No, middle school was to be my same age. Grown men was in high school, so.

[B]

So knife.

[D]

If you went to my show, Life Be Life, and it's about Ricardo. Ricardo. We were the same age. We were not. It was not.

[B]

But in high school, it was grown men, which. And I was like, hooking up. Leaving middle school or high school to hook up is crazy. And she was like, is it? And I was like, so it's all New Yorkers we live in, like, any. The cops aren't here. Are any. Were any New York City high school kids leaving school to fuck adults?

[D]

A few are smattering.

[B]

That is crazy. That is insane. Yeah, I mean, I didn't have sex until my senior year of high school. Really?

[D]

Oh, yeah. I told me that. But wait, what was the most violent fight you and Justin ever had? Like, did you and Justin like, exchange blows? Like fisticuffs?

[B]

So, yeah, Justin and I fought, but not a ton, because I am. I'm larger than Justin. I've been bigger than Justin since I was 5 years old.

[D]

Also, Justin is so quiet. He's so soft spoken. He's very gentle.

[B]

He's very aggressive.

[D]

And you're very aggressive.

[B]

I'm a very loud, aggressive person. And Justin, I mean, we would get into fights, but I was bigger and stronger than him. So he would either hit me and run, which drove me insane.

[D]

He would hit you and run?

[B]

Because he was very lightning fast. Justin was lightning fast. He was the fastest kid in our neighborhood by like 5 miles per hour.

[D]

And you're incredibly slow.

[B]

I was a very slow kid. I was. I was. I was a very slow runner. Were you fast runner?

[D]

I was medium.

[B]

Cause we've seen the. We. We've seen the pictures of you as a kid. I don't. I don't believe that you were a fast runner.

[D]

You have something to talk. Two tons of fun over there, girl.

[B]

Garcia was there. We can ask Garcia about you. Where's Kamika? Kamika would tell us about it.

[D]

Kamika would know.

[B]

Yeah, but no. So we got into a few fights, but it was always over the tv, every single time. It was always because I wanted to watch wrestling and he wanted to watch basketball.

[D]

I cannot with the way you say wrestling. Wrestling Bitch, open your ears. Oh, you say, I'm so tired.

[B]

Open your ears.

[D]

I'm gonna say, I'm so tired. I'm gonna go rest. No, I'm so tired. I'm gonna take a rest.

[B]

Well, you have ears. And I listen and I watch wrestling. So I wanted to watch wrestling. And then we got, like, maybe two physical altercations as kids.

[D]

Bleeding.

[B]

No. Jesus Christ.

[A]

Knots.

[D]

You got like a bump? Anything?

[B]

No, no, My God. Nothing? No, like, hitting and punching. We weren't strong enough to make each other bleed. We were like five and seven, bitch.

[D]

Sean and I used to go. Sean was. First of all, Sean is six years old. I mean, Sean is a massive man. Even right now. Sean is a. This is my brother Sean right here. Sean is like. He's 6 foot 5, I think Sean is like a solid 320 pounds. And he's the cop. He's a New York City cop. And Sean, y' all are so shady.

[B]

But this is Laverne's ex husband.

[D]

This is what? Laverne, you are so crazy. So I was. I was a very. I would poke the bear all the time. Like, he would be playing Grand Theft Auto.

[B]

This is a literal bear.

[D]

Literally, Sean is a. He's a grizzly of a person. And he would be playing something like Grand Theft Auto or something. I would literally go in the room. I would hover my hand over the cord to the game. I'd be like, you think I won't do it? He's like, kevin, do not do it. You think I won't do it? I was like, okay, I won't do it. Yank and run, girl. You know what I'm saying? But I would run for my life because it's literally like the house shaking.

[B]

He looks like Shaquille o'. Neal.

[D]

Yeah, yeah, he's about the same size. And then he would, like, choke me out. And then he, like. I would, like, fall asleep. We were to get, like, physical.

[B]

I will say this six year gap is too much of a difference to be fighting. Like, if you. If there is six, if there's more than two years between you. The older siblings should not be fighting.

[D]

Oh, no, younger siblings. We. Well, besides y'.

[A]

All.

[B]

So you're telling me you are 10 years old getting beat up by a 16 year old?

[D]

Yeah, but also. But also, I have, you know, like you. I was a big stock for a kid. I didn't look like an average.

[B]

As big as giant stock.

[D]

To be fair. He was always choosing non violence. I was choosing to aggress him. I Was choosing to aggravate him. We were like this. I'd be like, I betch. I won't stop. But I won't stop. But I won't stop.

[B]

How was that kid? How many years between y' all once they can fight? Who else y' all over there siblings? How many years between you? 14.

[D]

Oh, yeah, that's, that's a little, that's.

[B]

She was 15. Like, yeah, little nigga. Yeah.

[D]

Like if my little 8 year old brother came and bothered me, I'll beat that up.

[B]

No, that's great. That's crazy. You know?

[D]

No, I wouldn't. Obviously not.

[B]

Two years, that'd be like me beating up my, my. I'm 21 years older than my. That'd be like me beating his ass. That's crazy.

[D]

Yeah, that's. That's a little crazy because I'm trying

[B]

to find out what age gap would be the most appropriate to fight. To fight someone who is six years older than you. So if you are 18 to 12 is crazy. 12 to. Don't make me do math. Six is crazy. 10 to 16 is crazy. One to seven is. There's no time frame where.

[D]

No, I think, I think 12 to 18 is fair.

[B]

You mean a 12 year old fighting a grown man.

[D]

Okay, 18 is not grown man.

[B]

18 is a grown man.

[D]

You're a man. You're not a grown man. You're still developing at 18 years old. So we get into another slide. I mean, you think that 18. Yes, you're a man at 18, but you're not a grown man.

[B]

I told my nephew this. I told my nephew this. My nephew lived with me and he was. People have been like, you're a kid, you're a boy. And I said, you're not a boy, you're a grown man. And if you don't believe it, go commit a crime.

[C]

Right?

[B]

But yeah, and see what happens. If you think you're a boy, go do some boy shit and see if they don't treat you like a grown ass man.

[D]

That's one thing. But you are still developing at 18. Like you have not had to take care of your. Well, obviously there are different circumstances for the majority of people at 18, you're just going out on your own. You're just discovering like who you are. Like, I did not know who I was until I was like 25 years old.

[B]

You are not about to convince me it's okay for an 18 year old to beat up a 12 year old under any.

[D]

No, no.

[B]

There is no mental gymnastics you can

[D]

do no I'm saying as convince me

[B]

that an 18 year old can beat up a 12 year old.

[D]

I mean, if I listen, I was a very, as my mom would say, miserable 12 years old. I think it was just that my brother beat me up. I was annoying. I was fucked up.

[B]

We're gonna have to move on. Cause you will never get. How many of you think it's okay for an 18 year old to beat up a 12 year old? We black, Please.

[D]

Also, also, also, I wanna be clear.

[B]

And to anyone who's here not black, just so you know, that's not what black people do.

[D]

No, no, no, no, no, no.

[B]

I need you to know that black people don't beat up children. That's not because they're black. That's cause they're from Brooklyn.

[D]

Also, I'm not saying wwe. I'm saying like how siblings like play around.

[B]

You said blood.

[D]

Okay? My brother not make. Oh, yeah. This mic is crazy.

[B]

I know it's crazy. I'm not saying.

[D]

Yeah, not every. Like once, like once we were playing and I hit my head on the wall, he pushed me and I bled. We did not. We weren't breaking each other's limbs and fucking each other up.

[B]

Girl, the justification is crazy.

[D]

Anyway, moving on.

[B]

We'll still move on from this. Now do you. Do you. If you're going to have a kid. Jesus fucking Christ. If you're going to have a kid, would you want them to be an only child? Because who here is an only child? Only children are kind of weird. A little bit. Only children are kind of strange.

[D]

I don't think only children are strange. I do think only kids that have a lot of like cousins and like, like, I think that's also different. Cause you, you grew up a lot with like. I grew up with my cousins. Oh. We did everything together. All holidays. I went there for weeks at a time. And spring breaks, winter break, like, so I grew up a lot with my cousins too.

[B]

Like, did you have one of those, like, did you have one of those, like Matteo Lane situations where like 20 of your cousins all live on the same block?

[D]

No, no, no, but we lived there. We lived in Brooklyn. We had a lot of us in Queens and a lot of us in the Bronx. So for the holidays we all got together and we all did shit like that.

[B]

Were you the favorite child?

[D]

Favorite child? I don't know. I think Shawn was a favorite.

[B]

How does that feel?

[D]

Great, because, honey, I made it work. Honey.

[B]

Okay.

[D]

I'm the favorite of all of you.

[B]

That was tepid. No, but Seriously, growing up as not the favorite, I really wanna know how that. Cause I'm not gonna lie to you. I was the favorite, baby. I was my mother's favorite by a mile.

[D]

Like, how did that manifest? How did you know you were the favorite?

[B]

Well, I was more reliable. So I would be the one that she would ask to do things over my brother. And then as we got older, she would definitely be like. Like, for example, before my mother passed away, she was like, it cut out for a second. Before she passed away, my mother was like, listen, my brother doesn't know this. I never said this out loud. She was like, in my life insurance policy, I left you a little extra because I believe that you will do the right thing with the money. So I'm gonna give you a little over your brother.

[D]

You don't even need it.

[B]

I deserve it, but you don't need it. My brother doesn't need it either. My brother's not broke.

[D]

He's not broke, but your brother is. I. I think it's safe to assume that you're making a little bit more than your brother. Is that correct?

[B]

You don't know that I. Bitch, I

[D]

know how much you make.

[B]

You don't know. You don't know how much you have an idea.

[D]

I know. I know. Cause we had the same CPA that was sharing secrets. One time, he says, I was like, oh, I'm the other bald black one. I'm the other owner of civic rivalry. Not that one.

[B]

You still love that. I'm not over there no more. I done moved on. No, but being the favorite child is great. I'm not gonna lie. If you're not the favorite, I can't imagine it feels fun. But you were the favorite. But you were also the least favorite. Cause you're the only child. Oh. Amongst the grandchildren. Oh, yeah.

[D]

I'm the favorite grandchild.

[B]

Oh, I was not the favorite grandchild.

[D]

I'm the favorite grandchild.

[B]

I have a very cute cousin named Ashley. Everyone loved Ashley, and we all got together and we bullied her.

[D]

Why?

[B]

Because she was the favorite. And everyone loved her. And she was pretty, and she was petite, and she was skinny, and she was. And she never did anything wrong. And the favorite now the favorite of all the kids. This kid is a menace to society because they know they'll never get in trouble. Ashley never got in trouble. And I hate it. She was so bad. But she would be like. She would start crying and shit and not get in. Then we get in trouble. And then my mother didn't whoop Me. But my aunts would whoop every fucking body got up, so I would get a whoop in the back. Why'd y' all let Ashley? Let Ashley? I am two years older than Ashley. I'm not grown. Let Ashley. She's bad.

[D]

Okay, so we're here. Bob and I were just here in New York for, like, two or three days, and tomorrow we're gonna go see Jinkx Monsoon and O. Mary.

[B]

Is she our sister?

[D]

Jinkx is our sister. She's my sister.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

I mean, I'm trying to think of

[D]

the Drag Race girls who are our sisters. I think our sisters. And I think we have a lot of crossover here. Cause obviously, we do a lot together,

[B]

so someone's better get left out.

[D]

I mean, I think immediately. Obviously. Naomi Small. Yeah. But here's the thing, okay? Is Naomi our younger sister or older sister, or is she in between? Naomi's our youngest sister, but she's older than. She's younger than me, but. Yeah, but she was on Drag Race before me. You know what I mean? So she's the younger sister. She's the younger sister. Okay. Kim Chi.

[B]

Kimchi. Same age.

[D]

Same age. So she's my older sister. Your twin?

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

She's in between us. Yeah, no, she's in between us. I'm older than Kim, but.

[D]

You're older than Kim.

[B]

I'm, like, one year older than Kim.

[D]

Okay.

[B]

Peppermint's our older sister.

[D]

Peppermint is our much older sister.

[B]

No, no, no. Okay.

[D]

Not much like that girl. I had to say.

[B]

No, hold on, hold on.

[D]

No, no, no, no, no, no.

[B]

That's not what.

[D]

I'm not saying it like that. I'm just saying because I know Peppermint did an episode of Monat Talks, and we talk about a lot of stuff. It was. The episode's coming out very soon. It's very funny. But she said something. I was like. I just did not realize that Pep was in her mid-40s. In my mind, Peppermint was, like, 39. He's fucking shady. Anyway, so Peppermint is our girl.

[B]

Pep was doing drag in New York city in the 90s.

[D]

I know. And she said. I was like, wait, what?

[B]

And then.

[D]

So Peppermint is our older sister. Bianca is our youngest aunt. You gotta say. Bianca is like. She's like. She's not a sister. She feels like an aunt.

[B]

Yeah. Bianca's in her 50s. Is she? Yes. Bianca's. Bianca is 50 years old.

[D]

Someone Jacob or someone. Can someone Google that?

[B]

She's either 49 or 50. She's like, I think she's 49.

[D]

She just turned 50.

[B]

Yeah.

[D]

Oh, wow.

[B]

Wow.

[D]

Were you invited to the party?

[B]

Was there a party?

[D]

Thorgy is not a sister.

[B]

No, Thorgy's a cousin.

[D]

No, Thorgy is a drunk cousin that show up at the barbecue every year. You like this? Bitch has to go home.

[B]

Yeah.

[D]

I have never seen someone like that much alcohol. Except Bob before he was sober.

[B]

Okay, you never saw me.

[D]

I saw the pictures. That was the dreads.

[B]

Wait a second. Listen.

[D]

I saw the pictures. I saw the pictures.

[B]

I saw the pictures, girl.

[A]

Hey, it's Ryan Reynolds here from Mint Mobile. Now, I was looking for fun ways to tell you that Mint's offer of unlimited Premium Wireless for $15 a month is back. So I thought it would be fun if we made $15 bills, but it turns out that's very illegal. So there goes my big idea for the commercial. Give it a [e-mail] switch.

[C]

Upfront payment of $45 for three months, $90 for six months, or $180 for a 12 month plan. Required $15 per month equivalent taxes and fees. Extra initial plan term only greater than 50 gigabytes. Me slow when network is busy. C terms.

[B]

And we have siblings who aren't drag race like Mateo.

[D]

Mateo.

[B]

Nick. Nick Smith, bd.

[D]

Oh, Corey King. Corey King is not a sister.

[B]

Niece.

[D]

She's a niece. Yeah. She's not a sister. She's a niece.

[B]

She keeps saying she wants.

[D]

Oh. Oh, yeah, sorry. Cory's my daughter.

[B]

Is she really your daughter?

[D]

She is.

[B]

What? Is she your daughter the way honey dad was your mother?

[D]

No, we officialize. We officiated. Officiated?

[B]

What have you done for her?

[D]

We're gonna hang out.

[B]

What have you done for her? We're going to hang out soon. You're. I'm calling cpa.

[D]

I gave her my motherfucking name, girl. Okay? That's what I did for her.

[B]

I'm calling CPA on you. This is crazy.

[D]

And I also advocated for her to host the Pit Stop next season.

[B]

Is she gonna do it?

[D]

I don't know. But I advocated for her. I said, you guys, I think y' all should do this. I think she's very funny. I think she'll be great. And I.

[B]

No, she said what she said. Wow. She said what she said.

[D]

So that's all our sisters. Kimchi, Peppermint, Naomi, and that's it.

[B]

Mistress is not my sister.

[D]

Mistress is not my sister.

[B]

I mean, I like her, but she ain't my sister.

[D]

And Lux is.

[B]

I don't Even know Lux like that? Yeah, no, I think I've met Lux twice in my. I just don't know her. I met Lux twice in my life. I don't know that girl. She seems nice, but she ain't my sister.

[D]

Yeah. Okay.

[B]

Okay, wait.

[D]

So there's a game we want to play. Can we play it?

[B]

Let's play the game.

[D]

Okay, so we're gonna play a game. We did this before at a show. I forgot what show it was. We did it.

[B]

Oh, no, no.

[D]

It was at my house. It was his own episode at my old house. Yeah. So we're gonna play part two of this game, and it's called Name that White Woman.

[B]

Now, this game is because I famously do not recognize white women unless they are fat or funny looking. How are you sitting?

[D]

You're sitting downstage or upstage?

[B]

I'm gonna scoot over a little bit.

[D]

Yeah, I feel like it's easier to

[B]

see that way, like, if you're like. If you're like Melissa McCarthy or Carol Channing, who's technically not white, but white passing. If you're like.

[D]

Okay, wait, hold on, hold on. Carol Channing is what?

[B]

She's. She's an octoroon.

[D]

That's 1 8th black, correct?

[B]

Yeah, she's white. Yeah, she's an octoroon. She's like that woman from. That woman from. What's that vampire movie? The vampire movie.

[D]

Kate Beckinsale, Sinners.

[B]

She's like that white. That white woman from Sinners.

[D]

Oh, really?

[B]

She's the same. Hailey. Hailey Hailee Steinfeld, she's the 1/8 black.

[D]

Really?

[B]

Yeah. And Carol Channing, she's an octoroon. I don't think you're supposed to say octoroon, but I keep saying it. Cause. Cause who gonna check me? The octoroon community. Any octoroons here wanna fight?

[D]

Oh, my God. Listen, I wanna say if you're in octoroon and you're here.

[B]

I see you can't say octoroon.

[D]

I love you. I embrace you. I don't know what Bob is doing. I love you. Okay, so.

[B]

Okay, so we.

[D]

So we did this video. It's a very popular video on our channel.

[B]

Wait, Jacob, are we going one for one? Are we racing?

[D]

Oh, y' all make some noise. Say hi to Jacob. He's here. It's just for Bob. Okay, so wait, so we're going back and forth, okay. Teams. Because y' all know. Y' all know the motherfucking polycube firm of partners. They always cheating me on the games. Can we all Agree. They always.

[B]

That's not everyone. Agree. So who agrees that Monet loses fairly?

[D]

No, it's a boo. They said boo. Those are boos, bitch.

[B]

Monet, you lost fairly every time. Just. Just like, two times on Drag Race. Both times. Just like when. When. When fucking Cameron Michaels dragged you across the floor. Cameron Michaels. We Outer Saboteur.

[D]

By the way, we just recorded a really funny episode of the podcast where we. Y'.

[B]

All.

[D]

This where we. We looked up Queens OnlyFans, and we talked about it. It was. There was something that happened. The episode that took both of our breaths away, and it was a gag. I cannot wait for y' all to see that shit. It was crazy. Anyway. All right, this one's for me.

[B]

Who is it? Is this Sandra Bull? Wait, guys. Don't say it. Well, you already said so. I wouldn't have known that I was gonna say Julia Roberts, but since that has been given me. This is obviously Sandra Bullock.

[D]

This is Sandra Bullock, who is the

[B]

one from the blind side.

[D]

Yes, the blind side. Miss Congeniality also. That means.

[B]

Does anyone else think they look alike?

[D]

No. Only you, girl.

[B]

Thank you. Me and Ms. White lady agree. Thank you.

[D]

So we know you're colorblind. Are you also white woman blind?

[B]

I am.

[D]

Got it.

[B]

Okay.

[D]

Okay, Next.

[A]

Ooh.

[B]

Who the fuck is that?

[D]

I have no idea. Is that the lady from the Fifth Element?

[B]

No, this. I'm assuming this is a singer, and she looks very young, so I'm gonna say this is. And she looks like she's British. No, she's not British.

[D]

No idea.

[B]

I don't.

[D]

I do not.

[B]

I do not know this white woman. Who is that

[D]

girl? No one fucking knows who that is, Jacob.

[B]

Wait. Does anyone know Caroline Polachek? I hate to break it to you, but I think this woman is more famous than us.

[D]

What's her hit? What's her song? What?

[C]

Feelings.

[B]

So hard to hear with my feelings. Whoa.

[D]

Next.

[B]

No, I. I do not. I. I do not know this white woman.

[D]

Yeah, I don't know. Let's go to the next one.

[B]

Oh, wait, wait, wait. This is Uma Thurman. No.

[D]

No. Oh, God.

[B]

What? Are you sure that's not Uma Thurman? This looks like a scene from Pulp Fiction. Do you know who it is, Mo?

[D]

No, I mean, I know the actor. Act. I don't know her name, though. From the L word.

[B]

Oh, is it. Is it Emma Roberts?

[D]

No, I don't know her name. Is that Mina Suvarian?

[B]

White woman.

[D]

That's Emma Stone.

[B]

Jacob. Jacob. Hey, everyone.

[D]

Mia Kershner.

[B]

Oh, it's Mia Kershner. It's Mia Kershner.

[D]

Got it, got it. Okay, next one.

[B]

She looked like Uma Thurman.

[D]

Oh, that's Call her Daddy Alex Cooper.

[B]

Alice Cooper's a singer. A man.

[D]

No, Alice Cooper is a podcast host.

[B]

Alice Cooper's a man.

[D]

Alice Cooper is also a podcast host.

[B]

Isn't Alex Cooper a man?

[D]

Yes, but Alex Cooper is a podcast host. She hosts. Call her Daddy.

[B]

Oh, her first name is Alex. Her last name is Al Cooper. Wait, I'm saying. I'm saying Alice.

[D]

I said Alex.

[B]

Oh, no, Alice Cooper is a man.

[D]

Oh, got it.

[B]

And he's a rock and roll singer.

[D]

But is this the podcast girl? Yes, Alex. What's her last name?

[B]

Oh, Alex Earle. I've heard of her before.

[D]

Oh, Alex Earle. Whoa. Let me tell y' all something.

[B]

Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh.

[D]

She was just on the end of Squid Games. Yes.

[B]

Oh, Monet. That's Cate Blanchett. Yes, that's it.

[D]

She was in Squid Game.

[B]

Yeah, that's Kate Blanche Blanchett. Did you know there's someone talking? Oh, I knew it. That's Cate Blanchett.

[D]

Cate Blanchett. Okay, next one.

[B]

Who the. Ooh, this is the girl from the crackhead show.

[D]

No, from Ozone.

[B]

Oh, no.

[D]

Ozarks.

[B]

The meth girl.

[D]

That's Lululemon.

[B]

Oh, I thought she looked like Julia Garner.

[D]

In my defense, did she start Lululemon? Is her name Lulu Monet?

[B]

He said Julia Garner. Oh, but it's not Julia Garner.

[D]

I was like, I thought he said, that's Lululemon. I'm like, oh, is she the founder of the company?

[B]

Wait, who. Who? Then who is this? This is a very young Nicole.

[A]

Ah.

[D]

Oh, wow.

[B]

I'm convinced that if Nicole came in and walked up to me on the street, I would be like, excuse me. I do not know. I can never clock Nicole.

[D]

You know what, Bob? Heartbreak feels good in a place like this.

[B]

Okay, do you think Nicole Kidman knows who I am? Probably not. We don't know each other.

[D]

It's fine in her twilight. What'd you say?

[B]

I said, do you think she knows who I am?

[D]

I don't know. Oh, who knows? Okay, next one.

[B]

Oh, oh, oh.

[D]

Activist Greta Thunberg. That's not Greta Thunberg.

[B]

This is a singer. Who. Oh, oh, the girl. The trans girl who had that album that everyone made fun of. She had that album and then people made fun of it. She's like, don't make fun of my album, Ethel Kane.

[D]

Oh, my God. Okay, so I just. I'm trying to get into her. I just downloaded.

[B]

Right.

[D]

I just downloaded her new album. I did. And I have to say, girl, you can press play from beginning to end. It sounds like it's just one continuous song. It's like. I'm like, where did. It's kind of crazy. How have you ever.

[B]

Is that a good thing?

[D]

I mean, it's not bad. It's just like. I'm like. It just all sounds the exact same. It sounds like one long song.

[B]

Do the songs bleed into each other?

[D]

No. Oh, yeah.

[B]

They stop. Got it. That's Effl.

[D]

Kane. Wow. Okay, next one. Oh, Maude Apatow.

[B]

I met this woman. Where at? Oh, at the Madonna party. Oh, by the way, I have a

[D]

bone to pick with you.

[B]

What?

[D]

Wait, hold on. I gotta say, I gotta get this off my chest. So, ever since I graciously allowed Bob to work with Madonna, missing a year. Missing a year of our podcast. Really?

[B]

I did the podcast the whole time,

[D]

but you were away. It was annoying.

[B]

I never missed it. You're the one who missed it. Losing Drag Race and then winning.

[D]

And you missed it losing. Traitors. How about that, honey?

[B]

But I did it before you continue.

[D]

Every year, Bob the Drag queen, because of my gracious or my benevolence, gets invited to the Madonna Christmas party. Every year.

[B]

Has nothing to do with Monet. Continues.

[D]

And I have. And he was like, oh. One year. Last year, he was like, oh, Monet, you want to come? I was like, sure. I went to the gym that morning. I did some yoga. I centered myself.

[B]

You ate yogurt.

[D]

I got a nice.

[B]

That's a guy named Jim. You're mixing up the memories.

[D]

I got a cute outfit on. And then hours before I get a text like, or it's call, hey, girl, sorry, you can't come.

[B]

Take that up with Madonna. This is what actually happened. I was like, hey, Jacob was my plus one to the party. And then I was like, he's your

[D]

plus one every year.

[B]

Yeah, I know. He's my partner.

[D]

Y' all hear that, right? So what? Anyway. Hold on.

[B]

Right?

[D]

You're right. Okay.

[B]

Anyway, so I was like. I called. And I was like, hey, do you guys think I can. And I did not tell Monet, you can come. I said, I'm going to say, see if you can come. I did not. Because I don't invite people to people's house. I'm gonna do. See if you can come. And they were like, no, she can't. So I told her she can't come.

[D]

You told me I Could come. I got dressed.

[B]

I did not tell you that. You can come anyway. And the truth is, you were going to the other party, so you didn't get dressed for this. You got dressed to go to the other party?

[D]

Oh, yeah, I had a backup plan. Of course. I'm not a dumb bitch. Like, I had other plans, Obby. Okay, let's do how many more white women we have.

[B]

Okay, yeah, let's do three more.

[A]

Three more.

[D]

Let's do three more. Who is this?

[B]

Oh, she's white.

[D]

Tate McCray. Oh, From Housewives.

[B]

Is this Brandi Glanville?

[D]

Beverly Hills.

[B]

Brandi Glanville is Beverly Hills? No. Where's Brandi Glanville?

[D]

Orange County, I think.

[B]

Oh. Oh. See, I got into a fight. Where? Listen, I have fought so many housewives, so I fought Brandi Glanville before I was on Drag Race at Barracuda. She came in, wasted off her gourd and tried to argue with me. She stumbled on stage drunk and fucked up. And then we happened to be talking about plastic surgery when she walked in. She walked on stage. As you guys famously know, I do not watch the Housewives. I've never watched this show. I've never watched the show. She came on, I just saw some drunk white woman. I said, hey, we're talking about plastic surgery. You got anything to put in? She goes, ugh, well, maybe you can tell me about how to get hair off of your neck. And I said, oh. And then I said, maybe you can show us how to cover up varicose veins on your titties. Then she got mad and she stormed off stage. And then she went up to the manager, who is still Aaron Pfeiffer. Are you here right now? Aaron Pfeiffer, who was DJing with the DJ earlier, he came up to me and he went to Aaron. Aaron was the bartender manager at the time. And she was like, I'm not leaving this bar until that drag queen apologizes to me. And then he said, well, baby, you better grab a drink because that bitch ain't about to apologize to you. And then I fought fucking Dorinda Medley on fucking Traitors.

[D]

I. I love Dorinda.

[B]

Traitor ass bitch.

[D]

So wait, who is this lady? Charisse? Dori, how come all the white.

[B]

The White Housewives have black names? Dolores, Dorinda, Dorise, Trishell. This is crazy.

[D]

All right, let's do two.

[B]

A politician. This is the politician for sure. Right, Jacob?

[D]

Yes. Yes, Wendy.

[B]

That's so stupid.

[D]

Girl, let me tell you something. If Wendy drags you into her office, it's over.

[B]

Okay, girl. Oh, Wendy's in hr. Let's talk about your behavior.

[D]

You're getting forward. Let's fire. Last one. Oh, that same lady from. No, the one earlier. That's not Kris Jenner.

[B]

It looks like Kris Jenner. I'm going with Kris Jenner.

[D]

No, the lady from earlier that.

[B]

I said.

[D]

Squid games.

[B]

Yeah.

[D]

Yeah, that's her.

[B]

I do not recognize these white women. I can. They're. They're. They're unclogable or. Or indistinguishable. I don't know. The word I'm looking for is. Yeah, they are hard to determine from me. From one another. Now, here's my question for you. Do you get. Okay, I'm gonna. Are there any twins here? Anyone here have a twin? Okay, there's one twin here. One person who is a twin, but their twins aren't here. Don't be offended. I know they don't. I know twins don't do this, but would you fuck a set of twins?

[D]

Oh, yes, bitch. I fuck siblings that were. Of course. I don't fuck a pair of twins. I'll be so. But at the same time, I mean, if they're okay with it, I don't care.

[B]

Yeah, it is. What the fuck?

[D]

Where is that picture from? How old is that?

[B]

Jacob, what is this? This is from your Facebook. Facebook,

[D]

Jacob, why are you going on my Facebook? Getting pictures.

[B]

Pictures of you and your brother. Do you have anything of me? Oh, God. Is there something of me coming up? What are you doing?

[D]

What is gooning? So I know you make a. Gooning

[B]

is when you're edging for so long.

[D]

Edg.

[B]

You edging when you're. And you keep getting close to coming, but you don't. But the edging, it's like. It's like masturbating. Edging. Gooning. Gooning is when you are so far crossed over into your horniness that you've lost your mind. You're making weird noises, you're making weird faces, but you will not allow yourself to come. That's gooning.

[D]

Really?

[B]

Do you edge?

[D]

No, I like to get to it. Like, I need to come.

[B]

You got something to do?

[D]

Yes, I need to come. I have shit to do, girl. I don't. Do y' all like edging? Okay. Do you like.

[B]

Do you like edging? If I'm fucking. It is. It is not always, but it is usually at the end of the day, this is the last. So I don't have anywhere to be. I don't have nothing to do. This Is the last things I can now fully dedicate my time to, you know, doing this thing.

[D]

Yeah, bitch, I do have something to do. I wanted to fucking go to sleep, girl. I'm trying.

[B]

They'll be sleep. You get to sleep.

[D]

Last night. Last week, I hooked up with this guy that was so ugly, right? He was hideous. He was not the tee.

[B]

Enough about Andy.

[D]

Yeah, your mic was off on that one, bitch.

[B]

I said, enough about Andy.

[D]

Anyway, continue. Anyway, here's the guy. But the reason why I did it. Cause he was very into feet stuff. And y' all know, after I got there, after I got the new feet, girl, I said, let me take these puppies for a spin, okay? And he was. Y', all. He was on my. He was on some toe shit for like, 35 minutes. Just down there playing around, doing all the things. And then afterwards, I did not know this was. I was telling Jasmine on this backstage. I did not know it was this type of situation. I'm like, okay, sure. He does other thing. He sucked my dick a little bit. Come. He insisted on driving me back to my car. Cause I had to park down the block. Cause anyway, he took me to my car, and as I'm getting out, he gives me $500. And then.

[B]

Now the rate's a little low, isn't it?

[D]

But so I had two feelings. One, I was like, oh, my God, this is so sweet. Thank you so much. On the other hand, I was like, you think I'm that cheap? I was like, five.

[B]

I was like, not even.

[D]

Give me $1,500. I was a little offended.

[B]

Do you think. Do you think he was down there for 35 minutes? Cause it takes that long to get from the heel to the toe. Or do you think it was. I'm asking. I wasn't there. I don't know. I'm asking.

[D]

I think he was down there because he was really enjoying his. Have you ever been to someone who was into foot stuff?

[B]

You cannot touch my feet. You cannot see my feet.

[D]

What do they really want to.

[B]

It is a boundary. It is a boundary. You cannot look at my feet. You cannot. My feet. First of all, I have hideous feet.

[D]

From years.

[B]

They are. They're pretty hideous. From years of doing. From years of doing drag. My feet are mangled, tangled, and spaghetti.

[D]

And on top of that, I've seen your feet. I think you think they're worse than they are.

[B]

Also, when I. When I was a teenager and in my early teens, I have now had ingrown toenails on every single toe. So I had surgeries. I've had surgeries on, like, eight out of eight out of ten of my toes.

[D]

But you're also. Because you don't do that. Bob's feet are so sensitive. One time, y', all, we were. We were on civil rivalry tour, and I was like, I'm gonna get a pedicure. Bob was like, you know what, Monet? I'll go with you. So he's getting a pedicure. I tell y' all the entire time when the chair. This is Bob.

[B]

Yeah. I don't. No one can touch my feet. I don't do any. I will play with your feet. I will massage your feet. You cannot. If I know someone's looking at my feet, I get so insecure. I'm like, please, please stop looking at my feet. Do not look at my feet.

[D]

I like your little feet.

[B]

They're not y'.

[A]

All.

[B]

I'm telling you.

[D]

Okay, okay.

[B]

I'm gonna give it to. This is a true story. True story. I hired a dirty massage massager during COVID I went to his house. He had a real nice setup. He had, like, a table with you with your face goes in the hole. And then he was gonna jerk me off. I was like, this is gonna be great. So I was at, girl, this is a. Imagine this happening to you, and then this will secure. This will be like, yeah, I was right. My feet are fucked. I was on the table, face down, and I said, do you do feet now? He did not say. He did not go, no. He did this. Do you do feet? He went, No. I said, That's crazy. He evaluated the scene, and then he was. Did the cost benefit analysis. He thought about what I was paying him and said, it's not worth it. I haven't. That hurt my feelings.

[D]

Let me tell you something right now.

[B]

No, you can't know when.

[D]

Right now. Let me say something right now. I will Venmo you $1,000 right now on this stage if you let me take both your socks off.

[B]

No, hold on,

[D]

hold on.

[B]

Stop. Show your feet. Show your feet.

[D]

Show your feet.

[B]

Wait, let me hear the rest of this order, this offer.

[D]

If you let me take off both of you, take off both of your shoes, take off both of your socks, and let me give you a massage on stage.

[B]

No, no. If you would have stopped at just showing the feet. You can't touch my feet, Monet.

[D]

It's $1,000. That'll be the fastest $1,000 you ever made, girl.

[B]

Your hands will be so soft finally, after you rub them across My ragged. I could sand this, bitch. If I take my. There would be no paint left on the stage. I have yabba dabba doo feet, girl. They are rough, ragged feet, and I'm

[D]

willing to touch them with my beautiful hands.

[B]

No. Also one time I went to one of those nail salon places and then they did my feet. I let them do my feet. And then when I got to the fucking cash register, I saw. You know how they have men's prices and then women's prices for feet? Bitch, my price wasn't the woman's price, okay? I'm not a woman. My price wasn't the men's price. I'm not technically a man. I was in the next bracket. I saw it on the itemized Receipt. It was $20 for women, $25 for men. This bitch charged me 30 fucking dollars because she saw my feet was like, this is fucking cr. I've had so many.

[D]

Girl, you got.

[B]

You got the fucking ogre, girl. I know. So I'm like, no. My feet are like. They are. I wear socks with sandals. You will never catch my dogs out, ever. Boo your fucking selfish.

[D]

They want those feet, girl. They won those.

[B]

Show your pretty feet with you.

[D]

I would love to show my feet, honey.

[B]

Show them. Ain't nobody stopping you.

[D]

Wait, wait, wait, wait. Jay, wait, hold on. Jacob, give us some sexy music. I need you to do the whole thing. Hold on.

[B]

Play, Soak it up.

[D]

You know, if you guys have. Oh, if you guys have Body by Monet Exchange, that's fine.

[B]

Oh, my. You're gonna be on the. The feet. Wiki feet.

[C]

Wiki feet.

[B]

They're getting their rocks off to you right now.

[D]

It's a size 12. It's a 45.

[B]

45 in America. Those are big ass shoes. No, I do not. I do not. I do not show my feet under any circumstances.

[D]

All right, y', all, I think we're at the end of the evening.

[B]

I know. Thank you all so much for giving up for Monet X Change.

[C]

Yes.

[D]

And give it up for my big sister, Bob the Drag Queen.