The One About Burgers and Dentistry

Summary

Sibling Rivalry – "The One About Burgers and Dentistry"

Released: April 29, 2026
Hosts: Bob the Drag Queen & Monét X Change

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Episode Overview

This episode of Sibling Rivalry brings the signature quick wit and raucous camaraderie of Bob the Drag Queen and Monét X Change to two very different but equally relatable topics: burgers and dentistry. The pair launches into tangents on nail hacks, IG etiquette, drag-adjacent plastic surgery, food service, and fast food culture, with plenty of digressions and laugh-out-loud moments. Expect hot takes on everything from pressing nail tabs to the best burger toppings and the secret horrors of dentist visits.

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Main Discussion Points

1. Nail Fantasies, Tabs, & Beauty Product Tangents

[01:04 – 05:00]

• Monét discusses her recent nail choices, surprisingly using sturdy nail tabs instead of glue.
• Bob marvels at the durability:

  "Let me thump one... Damn. That's actually pretty gaggy, girl." — Bob [01:28, 03:36]

• The duo jokes about a viral video of Ray J and unbreakable products.
• Beauty influencer skepticism: Bob wants eyeliner to come off as easily as it goes on.
• Shoutouts to other queens’ beauty hacks (Eureka, Shea Couleé) and the downfalls of buying tabs in bulk.

2. The Blackening, Dwayne Perkins, & IG Etiquette

[05:09 – 10:34]

• Both praise the movie The Blackening, especially writer/actor Dwayne Perkins.
• Brief crush vibes:

  "Dwayne Perkins is a very, very... very hot." — Bob [05:35]

• Who’s in whose Instagram orbit? Bob expects compliments from friends when posting gym updates, threatening to block non-responders.

  "If I'm on Grindr... I compliment you... Your response is just, 'thanks,' you're getting blocked." — Bob [07:00]

• Monét teaches Bob how to "favorite" Instagram friends to always see their stories.

3. Social Media Memories & Snatch Game Traumas

[10:10 – 11:34]

• Pandemic-era memories surface, especially their Drag Race "Snatch Game" characters.
• Candid reflection on how child stars like Justin Bieber faced inappropriate questions growing up.

4. Fashion Hot Takes & Laundry Rotations

[12:04 – 13:55]

• Arguments on the difference between “drawers” and “draws.”
• Bob confesses to rotating only the same few shirts for months after laundry.

5. Coworker Cats and Correcting the Record

[14:18 – 16:32]

• The spat over who picked up Colleen the cat is classic sibling rivalry, with both accusing the other of rewriting history.

6. Body Mods for Drag & Dentistry

[19:47 – 25:08]

• Monét considers a subtle nose job for drag highlighting purposes. Bob supports it, but observes:

  "Modifying your body so much for drag is crazy." — Bob [20:15]

• They discuss other queens, like Trinity the Tuck, and their plastic surgery decisions within the context of drag and gender identity.

7. All About Burgers: Passionate Debates

[34:41 – 42:38]

• Monét loves the Bacon Bacon Burger at Cheesecake Factory, praising its "thick, applewood smoked bacon":

  "You're calling it bacon bacon. Like the Baconator. Imagine the Baconator had two strips of bacon." — Bob [35:32]

• Bob’s ideal burger: Angus beef, sharp cheddar, barbecue sauce, crispy onions, raw red onion, iceberg lettuce, all bites dipped in ranch.

  "Every burger needs a raw onion on it... It's the unsung hero." — Bob [40:14]

• Both despise pickles on burgers, with Bob lamenting:

  "Now the burger is about the pickle and that's not what I'm here for." [40:41]

8. Fast Food Chains, Fries, & Restaurant Industry Realness

[43:03 – 54:47]

• Monét relays a TikTok rumor that Applebee’s food is microwave-only, which Bob refutes based on his experience, though both agree processes have likely changed.
• Burger nostalgia: Bob's Ruby Tuesday memories include making sides from scratch and their recipe for "Typhoon sauce."
• The best fries debate:
  • Monét: "Five Guys Fries are the best—real potatoes, always a huge portion."
  • Bob: "Checkers has great, crunchy fries. But Five Guys, with the Cajun, game done changed." [52:00]
• Combo hack: Monét and Andy do an "ultimate burger/fries hack"—In N Out burger, Five Guys fries, Jenny’s dessert.

  "We get our In N Out burgers, then go to Five Guys for fries... then Jenny’s for dessert." — Monét [52:23]

9. Fast Food Chicken Discourse

[54:10 – 56:16]

• Chicken tenders/sauces: Bob claims you only go for the sauces (Raising Cane's, Zaxby’s, Guthrie’s), not the chicken itself:

  "Chicken tenders are about the sauce... chicken is a vehicle for the sauce." — Bob [54:47]

• Monét proposes a YouTube challenge: blind taste-test tenders or chicken sandwiches to identify the restaurant.

10. Real Talk: Food Preferences at Home

[47:04 – 48:12]

• Bob’s spicy mac and cheese divides the camp:

  "My dish, when I left, my pan was empty." — Bob [48:00] "I don't like spicy mac and cheese." — Monét [48:10]

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On dentist appointments (and losing patience):

  "Don't tell me you're almost done until you're about three minutes out, because... When you say I'm almost done and that was 30 minutes ago, I'm angry, bro." — Bob [26:13]

• On accountability and apologies:

  "Do you want to apologize to women in STEM?" — Bob to Monét, after Monét assumes Bob's dentist is male [32:27]

• On Instagram etiquette:

  "If I post a gym update and you do not compliment me... you're out of here." — Bob [07:10]

• On the fast food chicken economy:

  "When you go to Zaxby's, Raising Cane's, Guthrie's—you're not there for the chicken, you're there for the sauce." — Bob [54:23]

---

Important Segments & Timestamps

• Nail Hacks & Ray J’s Unbreakable Glasses [01:04–05:00]
• "The Blackening," Dwayne Perkins, and Instagram Drama [05:09–10:34]
• Snatch Game/Child Stardom Chat and Nostalgia [10:34–11:34]
• Wardrobe Rotations and Drawer Debates [12:04–13:55]
• Dentistry Rants: Waterpiks, Crowns, and Deep Cleaning Hell [24:07–27:01]
• Ultimate Burger Construction [34:41–42:38]
• Restaurant and Fry Rankings [43:03–54:47]
• Sauces vs. Chicken: The Great Tender Debate [54:10–56:16]

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Closing Banter

The episode winds down with a playful parody of ad reads, poking fun at Monét’s supposed “chicken selects voice,” before the pair signs off in typical good-humored fashion.

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In Summary

This episode delivers hilarious and occasionally heated conversations on the small obsessions of queer life—achieving perfect nails, surviving the dentist’s chair, building the ideal burger, and decoding Instagram etiquette. Bob’s and Monét’s musings will leave fans laughing and craving burgers (and perhaps a new dentist).

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For more, search "Sibling Rivalry" wherever you listen to podcasts.

Transcript

[Shannon Maldonado]

My name is Shannon Maldonado. I'm the founder of Yaoi, a gift shop. From the lens of artists and handmade objects, I chose Shopify because when I was testing other platforms, it was definitely one of the most user friendly. It was important to me to think about where we would be in the future. All of the tools for reading your sales, like planning inventory, they're just right there on your dashboard. For anyone starting a small business, the biggest thing I can tell you is it doesn't have to be perfect. Shopify can help you build upon it. Start your free trial on shopify.com.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

my name is Bob the Drag Queen.

[Monet X Change]

And I'm Monet X Change. And this is sibling rivalry. On this week's episode, we talk about burgers and dentistry. And we find out what made Bob say this.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I hope he's okay. And we found out what made Monet say this.

[Monet X Change]

Bo, you're a terrorist.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

What is.

[Monet X Change]

What's with the witchclaws? I did this gig yesterday and they put them on on set. I just haven't taken them off. I just feel a little. Remember when I was in my nail fantasy?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Bitch, I was in my nail fantasy.

[Monet X Change]

Yours lasted for like a month. You kept on snapping them off like twigs.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Yeah, but yours are glued on.

[Monet X Change]

Yeah, these are glued. No, these are tabs, girl. But what do you mean?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Oh, wait, they're just tabbed on, girl.

[Monet X Change]

The lady put me onto these new tabs.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Let me thump one.

[Monet X Change]

Huh?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Let me thump one.

[Monet X Change]

You can thump one. I'd be like, thumping like. Like. What does that mean? Oh, yeah.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Really? And it won't come off.

[Monet X Change]

It won't. Let's see. We'll find out.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Have you seen the video of Ray J being like. They don't break Ray J. Ray J, he had these glasses, these unbreakable glasses.

[Monet X Change]

And did they break?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

And the guy was like. He was like. He was like. These glasses. And the guy was like, you're telling me these glasses. He was like, these glasses will not break. It's brilliant.

[Monet X Change]

Oh, Speedy. I love Speedy. Frivolous with your products, man. You slap on the table, they're flying everywhere. You're tossing the glasses. They're unbreakable.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Unbreakable.

[Monet X Change]

They're unbreakable.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Break them.

[Monet X Change]

Step on it right now. No, you step on them. It's your product.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

You step on them, Speedy. Step on them.

[Monet X Change]

I can't do that. You can. I bet you I can break these. They're unbreakable, Speedy. They're not unbreakable, Speedy. Don't tell me he's an unbreakable. Listen, don't challenge.

[Jacob]

Listen.

[Monet X Change]

Don't challenge me, Rachel.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

They're unbreakable.

[Monet X Change]

Listen, Speedy.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

They're unbreakable. They cannot break. It's impossible. Ray J is a crazy person.

[Monet X Change]

I don't care.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I just feel like you're like, that's gonna happen. Wait, before we get into that.

[Monet X Change]

Ray J. Ray J is an unwell human being. Did you see the whole thing about his heart thing?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

No, but I saw him holding up a gun or. No. Okay, let me not make accusations. Something about him. There was a gun involved. There was a child involved. There was a custody.

[Monet X Change]

This is a little while ago with him and his ex partner. Anyway, now he has this thing. He got this apparently, this heart diagnosis that he has. He's like this terminal heart illness.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Oh, God.

[Monet X Change]

Allegedly. And now. So he did this thing the other day, and he is, like, performing. He's like, I have, like, nine months to live. Whatever it is. He's performing at this thing. And then there's, like, blood coming out of his eyes. People like. He, like, put, like, to make it look like Girl Ray J is.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

How are people reacting in the audience?

[Monet X Change]

People are like, yeah, like, excited. Because, like, how excited he's performing, but also, like, what the fuck is going on? What are his songs? Girl Sexy Canna. And he always tells, you have to

[Bob the Drag Queen]

say they won't fly. You have to be like, they won't come off.

[Monet X Change]

They won't come off.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

They won't come off.

[Monet X Change]

They won't come off.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Well, you're being frivolous with your nails.

[Monet X Change]

You just fly them around, try and flick them.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I can't do that.

[Monet X Change]

They won't come off, Moni.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I can't do that.

[Monet X Change]

They won't come off.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Damn. That's actually pretty gaggy, girl.

[Monet X Change]

Do you want me? I gotta show. I was like, send me the link. I said, send me the link for these things right now.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Are they already the shape of nails?

[Monet X Change]

So the ones we have are kind of square. These are, like, the shape of the entire nail. So it gets your whole nail bed, bitch.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

This is what I've been saying when I've seen these girls online, being like, my eyeliner. They're going on, like, waterproof eyeliner, and they're like. They're doing all this stuff. And I'm like, okay, but what about when you need to get it off, baby? Is the point of eyeliner to never remove your makeup ever? Like, now I need you to show me what happens when I need to get this.

[Monet X Change]

I can take it off, though. If I really knew what this I could right now. But they're durable.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

No, this is crazy.

[Monet X Change]

I know.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

And these are just nails. And they put a tab and they

[Monet X Change]

put it on there. Watch it do it.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

These are not acrylics. They're not glued on. No, this is actually wild. Cause you're the one who put me on my last ones. Shay put you on those. Yeah, well, delighted to be putting me on the glue dots.

[Monet X Change]

Oh, yeah.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Glue dots and then. Which work well enough.

[Monet X Change]

Eureka. Loves the glue dots.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

The glue dots were fine.

[Monet X Change]

I.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

But then La mama put you on the Shea. Shea put you on those. Those ones that we'd be getting. And now there's these new. But I have so many of the Shea ones.

[Monet X Change]

Well, you see, but you can't buy them in bulk. Cause after a few months, they. They lose their tackiness.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

You keep them in the. In the. In the plastic.

[Monet X Change]

I do too, but they. I feel like after, like a couple months and I pull them out of the thing to replenish my goat by bag when I'm on the road. And they're not as sticky, I feel.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I mean, mine are still pretty sticky, but.

[Monet X Change]

Have you watched.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Are you giving him in baby powder?

[Monet X Change]

Have you watched the Blackening?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Yes.

[Monet X Change]

I thought it was really good. I really enjoyed it.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Pretty good.

[Monet X Change]

Can y' all cast us in part two?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Jermaine Fowler is great.

[Monet X Change]

He's very. Ivan Orgy was in it for, like two seconds. But I love Yvonne Orgy.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

And, you know, I know the guy who wrote it.

[Monet X Change]

Who is he?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

His name is Escape Me, but he's good friends with Sidney Washington. Dwayne Perkins. Dwayne Perkins.

[Monet X Change]

Dwayne Perkins. Is he cute?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

He's very hot. Dwayne Perkins is a very, very.

[Monet X Change]

Oh, yeah, he is. He was in the movie as well.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Yes, he was work. But he. He gives. Wouldn't give me the time of day.

[Monet X Change]

Yeah, Dwayne Perkins looked like I would. I mean, okay, his.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Can I be really honest?

[Monet X Change]

I feel for Ma'. Monet. He would be like no loser.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Cause he's in his little mesh top.

[Monet X Change]

I feel like now I could have a chance, you know?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Or they're just saying, like, back when you were like, I don't. No, no, no. Back then.

[Monet X Change]

I feel like he would not give me the time. Back then. I feel like now I would have a chance.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Do you think. You think he's not into thickies?

[Monet X Change]

I don't know.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I don't know. He gives. Not he. By the way. I don't. I've had Dwayne. Dwayne Perkins. I don't know. I've been to Wayne, like, a handful of times, and I want to point out he's been lovely.

[Monet X Change]

I've never met him before.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Every time he's been lovely. He's very attractive. There's nothing about Dwayne Perkins that has ever been shady to me. Not even one time. Not even close. Nothing but lovely. That being said, I would never shoot my shot with Dwayne Perkins.

[Monet X Change]

I would be very afraid to. I feel like I would be.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

It is very, very beautiful.

[Monet X Change]

It will be one of those like. Like, you say something like a flurry. He'd be like, oh, yeah, nice to meet you.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I just walk away. Very, very. Like, if I.

[Monet X Change]

If I was in the dmv, respectful, very sweet.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Oh, very. Like, it gives. Like, if I was in the DMs, like, like, oh, you look great. He'd be like, thanks. If I'm on. I'm telling you right now, I've said it before. If I'm on Grindr, I compliment you on your looks. Like. And your response is just, thanks. You are getting blocked.

[Monet X Change]

Blocked is an aggressive.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I need a compliment back.

[Monet X Change]

You also on this thing of when you post a close friend and your friends don't comment on the close friends,

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I think you've been removed. If I post a gym update, I think Jacob got removed too. If I post a gym update and you do not compliment me or tell me I'm looking great or that you see my progress, you're out of here.

[Monet X Change]

Which is crazy.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

You get three strikes, though, which is

[Monet X Change]

crazy because you don't ever comment on anyone's closed store. Well, my. Let me talk. I come up with you.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

You don't ever comment on my close friends.

[Monet X Change]

Yes, you are.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I've never seen one of your close friends. Well, you're never in my. Like, first of all, how I use Instagram is this. I rarely ever scroll through my feed. I click on, like, the first four or five stories, and then I go to the for you page, and that's pretty much it. I don't scroll up and down my page anymore. So if you're not in the first four, that's because.

[Monet X Change]

See, Mom. Cause you're supposed to. I favorite my friends.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

People that I favor. People.

[Monet X Change]

Yeah, I favor people that I want to keep up on their stuff.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I didn't know you could favor people, Boomer. But I always. By the way, I'm always seeing these. My IG stories are the same six people. Yeah, it is bad kid. Tv Quinn Lazenby. He's an actor from Canada. Becky. TV Rico.

[Monet X Change]

He's the.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

The tatted up Puerto Rican. He's a. Probably not Puerto Rico. He's like. Like brown Latino. Go Go Boy from. Anyway, Devin Holloway.

[Monet X Change]

Oh, your friends.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

In fact, I can probably check right now who is in my. And I bet one of them is over there right now. And these are the people I see all the time. Not. I don't. I don't ever see nobody else. Is this okay right now?

[Monet X Change]

These people you interact with a lot.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Oh, Austin Nunes. Dyu umbriel music. Devin Holloway's back in there again. Oh, Salim's in there.

[Monet X Change]

I love Salim.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Oh, Slim pops up a lot, too. And Ethan says, hey, okay, let me

[Monet X Change]

tell you what mine is. Mine is Naomi Smalls. Then Bob the drag queen. SZA's Finster. My friend Van from San Diego went to College with Taylor O'Rear and Drew Rafaelo. It's people you see this you comment on a lot or you interact with us?

[Ad Voice 1]

I don't.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I don't comment, though. Cause I'm only ever just scrolling through the top.

[Monet X Change]

Do you engage with them on, like, DMs and stuff? Often?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I would like, for example, dyu post this selfie and then a meme and then this. So if it's funny, react. I'll do a laugh emoji. And I guess because I'm laughing at

[Monet X Change]

it, Instagram algorithm is like, oh, you like the content show you.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Yeah. Also Jasmine W. Oh, yeah. So the. I guess so here's Bad kid tv. That's not him. So he. But he posts like. I mean, why don't he be posting like his is little dots, you know? You know when.

[Monet X Change]

Like, like little dashes.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Yeah. Like sometimes it's like long. I mean, literally periods. Literally. Look at ellipses.

[Monet X Change]

You know what came on my for you page the other day? Which I'm like, oh, God. Is Covid. Does Covid. Does my Instagram think I want Covid content? Maybe it's just funny. The fucking video of y'. All. For y'.

[Shannon Maldonado]

All.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Who's y'?

[Jacob]

All?

[Monet X Change]

You Mateo. Marty for Covid. The Pandemic. What are you doing? Your Carol.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Oh, my Snatch Game disaster. A rotary phone. We do Snatch Game.

[Monet X Change]

And you. Marty did.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Marty did Ethel Merman. J. Mateo did Eliza Minnelli. And you did Carol channing and Summer McUsker. Eliza. Yeah. Justin did. Justin.

[Monet X Change]

Justin.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Summer. Summer did Justin Bieber.

[Monet X Change]

I couldn't do this. Could you do Justin Bieber?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I don't. I don't know how Justin Bieber talks, right? Like Justin Bieber. I hope he's okay.

[Monet X Change]

Why do you think he's not okay?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Sad all the time.

[Monet X Change]

He does seem sad.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I think he went through. I think he's going through a lot. Whenever I ever see those videos, it's like him sitting down and like, grown adult women being like, I want to fuck you. I mean, I'm paraphrasing. They'll be like, if you could sleep

[Monet X Change]

with one of us, like when he was a kid.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

You mean a child? Yeah, if you had to sleep. If you had. No, they were like, if one.

[Monet X Change]

They want to say sleep.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

If one of us had to be your girlfriend, who would it be? And he'd be like, I'm 12. And his response would literally be, I'm 12.

[Monet X Change]

Yeah.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

They'd be like, but if you had

[Monet X Change]

to choose, the adulting of children, especially in that era, was really crazy. They did the same thing to Brittany, to Lindsey, to all the. All those, like, teeny boppers.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Hot. Take long nails. Can they be black? It looks so evil. And I wear witch nails. I wear full on witch.

[Monet X Change]

Your nails are too long. They're dangerous. Your nails are bob. When you. First of all.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

First of all, my nails are on, so if I touch you, it'll fly off.

[Monet X Change]

And you have the audacity to wear them long nails and have a spike outfit on and be like, come, come, come, give me a hug.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I have one spike outfit and you

[Monet X Change]

wear it a lot.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

No, I don't. I have one spike. My.

[Monet X Change]

The hoodie with the pants.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Oh, I thought you. I don't wear that in drag. I would never be wearing that and wearing nails.

[Monet X Change]

You have. I. You did a thing when you were out of drag. Yes. You did wear it in nails. Yes. I came to the show, bitch. You had on that outfit and you had no nails. You weren't in drag, which you had. You act like you don't wear nails out of drag.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Okay, so in my outer drag, I have that spiked hoodie. And then in my. In drag, I have the leather with Layla McQueen. So I have like two spiked outfits. You act like I'm like, I'm always

[Monet X Change]

wearing spike out, but you wear that hoodie.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

You look like I'm vivacious or.

[Monet X Change]

You wear that hoodie often, though.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I haven't worn it in a long time.

[Monet X Change]

Yeah, you used to wear it often.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Yeah, I go through rotations. You know, I do this thing where, like, when I do a lot.

[Monet X Change]

You're obsessed with my music. Obsessed.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Jesus Christ. Obsessed.

[Monet X Change]

We get it? Rotation is a good song.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Okay, listen, I do this thing where I wash my clothes and. And I just put them on top. I don't rotate them. So for three months, I'll just keep wearing the same, you know, five shirts, because I don't pick the clothes from the bottom and put. Do you rotate your clothes? I'm not shuffling through. I don't. I don't. I don't.

[Monet X Change]

All my clothes aren't folded, though. They're hung.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

What is in your drawers?

[Monet X Change]

My socks. Underwear.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

How many socks under. Do you have underwear? How many drawers are taken up by underwear?

[Monet X Change]

You have some nerve, miss. 250 pair.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

But then I covered. Then I'd taken up all my drawers.

[Monet X Change]

You what?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

They're not taking up all my drawers.

[Monet X Change]

What's that word?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Drawers and what.

[Monet X Change]

What is it? What do you think?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Drawers. Draws. Put on your drawers. Put your drawers on.

[Monet X Change]

Are you saying with an L. Draws.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

No, draw. Like you drawing something. Put your draws.

[Monet X Change]

Draws.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

You got. Draw. You got your drawers all over the floor. But if you say it's only like your drawers are on the floor.

[Jacob]

But I would say five minutes to accomplish your task.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I did mine. I think I effectively did mine.

[Monet X Change]

I think I did mine too.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Do you really? You don't think I did mine? I. Oh, now you're Switzerland.

[Jacob]

No, I can't comment without Eliza.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Is it Switzerland or Sweden?

[Monet X Change]

Sweden.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Who's neutral? Sweden.

[Monet X Change]

Switzerland.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

So I said Switzerland.

[Monet X Change]

So you were neutral?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

No, he's neutral. He was like, am I a cowboy hat growing?

[Monet X Change]

I don't know if it fits you. I do like this outfit, though. Where is this from?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

You always ask for that. My answer's always the same.

[Monet X Change]

Well, you need to find out, Bob.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

We could find out together. You want to reach into my collar and look? It's probably Fashion Nova.

[Monet X Change]

I don't want to fuck up my nails.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

These nails. You could fucking go. You can go bowling.

[Monet X Change]

When I have these nails and I pet Colleen, she starts to fight me, because I think she feels like.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Colleen fights whenever you grab her. That's not true.

[Monet X Change]

You were holding on a picture. She didn't try to fight you.

[Jacob]

We.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I wish you were recording it.

[Jacob]

She was recording it. We were recording it. I posted it on Patreon.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

She started freaking out.

[Monet X Change]

She started to fight you, though.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

She grabbed my garment with her claws.

[Monet X Change]

Because you picked her up.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

No, you see, I picked her up

[Monet X Change]

and gave it to you.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Correct. Oh, but now are you guys lighting, or did you misremember? You pick Colleen up, You put. I did not pick her up. I love how you rewrote history just now. So do you want to come correct? I put in your. Oh, nicely freaking out. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. She's freaking.

[Monet X Change]

You look like you're in an ISIS video. Like tr.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Because she was freaking out and she was attacking me. She had her claws in my garment and she was freaking out on me.

[Monet X Change]

Liza.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Is your task to say Liza?

[Monet X Change]

No.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Why do you keep saying Liza? Are you trying to. Is your task to get me to do a Eliza Minnelli impersonation? No, I'm not doing that.

[Monet X Change]

Don't do it.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

So I'm. Yeah. You're trying to get me to do. You're trying to get me to do, like a Carol Channing or something. Yeah. Yes, it is. You're trying to get me to do something and I'm not gonna do it. You're trying to get me to be.

[Monet X Change]

There's no reason.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

You just keep going, Liza, I do it all the time. You do not. Okay, like I said, when we were dressed up. You're lying. I watched that video so often. That video tickles me pissed.

[Monet X Change]

Which one is this?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

It's a video of you swearing up and down that Halloween parties are not costume parties. And then you saying, I've been to many Halloween parties that weren't dressed up. Your exact words, they weren't dressed up. To which I respond, you're lying.

[Monet X Change]

I have been to Halloween parties.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

No, you said, I've been to many Halloween parties that weren't dress up. Is the exact. I watched this video probably once a week. You're a sick person.

[Monet X Change]

1.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I look stunning in the video.

[Monet X Change]

You're a sick person.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I look stunning.

[Monet X Change]

Oh, this is when we were in Troyanna. Gertrude.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Yeah, that was a long day.

[Monet X Change]

We were troopers that day.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

You telling.

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[Bob the Drag Queen]

So am I better without the cowboy hat?

[Monet X Change]

Actually, I like it with the cowboy hat. I think it works with the shoes. I'll keep the cowboy.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

The hat on, but am I a cowboy hat? Girly, though.

[Monet X Change]

I think. I think if it was a little lower. Why does it feel like it sits a little too high? Yeah, I like that.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

It's in my field of vision.

[Monet X Change]

Well, that's what looks best, though.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

And now I can see this hat. Every time I look anywhere, I can see my hat. You can always see your nose, apparently.

[Monet X Change]

Yeah, it's part of your design.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

You just looking at your nose.

[Monet X Change]

No, you can. You can know what it is. Your eyes can see your nose, but your brain blocks it out because.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Yeah, yeah, you can always. You can always see your nose. Like, your nose is always in your field of vision.

[Monet X Change]

But you don't really see it, though. Like, I don't see my nose right now. It's blocked out of my.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

When I think about it, I can see it. When I think about it, I can see it. I have to think. And I'm like, oh, shit, there it is. That's my nose.

[Monet X Change]

Yeah, I do that. I can see it.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

You have a cute nose.

[Monet X Change]

Do I? I want to get it. I want to. I want to get it done.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

What do you want? To get done to it.

[Monet X Change]

I thought I was just get.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Can I guess what? You want this up a little and you want this down a little?

[Monet X Change]

No, I just want to get. I just want to get rid of this little bump here. So it's just like a slope. Because I'm in drag and I'm doing my highlight and I get a little bump here, and I'm like, ugh, I wish. I just want to just literally just shave this down so I can have a this in drag, which is so crazy.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I support you whatever you want to

[Monet X Change]

do, but modifying your body so much for drag is crazy. No shade Brooklyn. She has talked about all this.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

What about your Twitter?

[Monet X Change]

I don't think Trinity got it for drag, though. I think Trinity just won it. She just didn't like what she had. It wasn't like, for drag her ass, I think. But that's what. If you listen to. If you watch Monet's also Trinity. Trinity the Tuck. She's talking about her trans identity.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I didn't watch it.

[Monet X Change]

And she was maybe battling through that.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Not everyone who gets their asses done,

[Monet X Change]

but I'm saying that's why she got it. She. Because she was going through a. She didn't know she was trans.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

She wanted to be trans to get the scoop. Can I know. I know the host of the show? I know the host. Can I just ask the host? No, we already did. You already told me.

[Monet X Change]

But that's not all of it.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

What's your favorite episode of Only Child?

[Monet X Change]

The Jinx one is a really fun one.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

You actually watched it.

[Monet X Change]

I did watch the drinks one. I like. I like Jinx. I like you.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I like Jinx.

[Monet X Change]

I said.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

That's what I. I thought you said. I like Jinx, unlike you.

[Monet X Change]

No, I said I like Jinx, and I like you.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I like Jinx. You know, Jinx. I'm gonna get attacked. Oh, my phone's buzzing.

[Monet X Change]

No shit. I haven't watched all the Broadway ones. I don't really know Broadway people like that. I didn't watch Jessica Voss.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Jessica Voss is a great episode.

[Monet X Change]

I know, but I just. I'm just not into Broadway like that. Like that. Like you, like. These are, like, a lot of people you had on there. Like, deep Broadway people that I don't really know much about.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Who's the Broadway session? The Broadway session's over. I'm no longer a Broadway actor. But was that your timer? I did mine.

[Jacob]

No, that was not my timer.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I don't know what that was. I want to guess that Monet's was to try to get me to impersonate someone either impersonating Carol Channing or impersonating Liza Minowi.

[Monet X Change]

It was Carol Channing.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Yeah. And you did not get me to do it.

[Monet X Change]

I didn't get you to do it,

[Bob the Drag Queen]

but mine was to get you to yell or talk loudly. And I got you to. I got you to. When I asked you how they were filming, you went, ah. What? You were talking about Ray J. And I was like, what were they like? And you were like. They were like, ah. That is.

[Monet X Change]

You went.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

And I was like, I think I got her.

[Monet X Change]

Yeah.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

You went, ah.

[Monet X Change]

Jacob is the arbiter.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I didn't clock it.

[Jacob]

I guess it wasn't loud enough to me to register as something completed, but.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Well, how loud does it have to be then? Because she.

[Monet X Change]

Here she goes.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Here she goes. I'm asking. This is important.

[Jacob]

I think notably loud. I mean, essentially Monet came in and was like, I need to be quiet today. So loud enough for it to be funny that she said that earlier.

[Monet X Change]

So you fail.

[Jacob]

We can ask. We can ask the chat.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

We can let the Patreons be the arbiter that will eat every time. Let's ask the audience.

[Jacob]

She.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

That is. That's the true. That's the Internet queen. That's one of the Internet queens right there. Some people who just be making moments happen and they don't even mean it. She wasn't. She didn't even plan to be part of the video.

[Monet X Change]

She sure did not.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

She gathered him.

[Monet X Change]

She sure did.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

There's been a waiter.

[Monet X Change]

I couldn't work in food service.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Why?

[Monet X Change]

It's not for me.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Can you, can you. Can you.

[Monet X Change]

The smell. A lot of people who work at food service, they're like. They always complain about, like, how to coast, smell the food after when they go home. I am not interested in walking back and forth and serving food and handling food. I'm just not. I love walking, especially in parking lots.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Apparently I haven't been able to do it for a really long time.

[Monet X Change]

They have one right here.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

It's not big enough. It goes all the way down there. Not big enough. I need like a suburban big lots parking lot. The one over at the Walmart at Burbank. Beautiful.

[Monet X Change]

To walk in, go over there.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

But I need to be able to walk to the parking lot. You see what I'm saying?

[Monet X Change]

Yeah.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

And I'm not driving to the parking lot to walk around. That's not the vibe. I need to get me a new watch.

[Monet X Change]

By the way, what happened to your watch?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Well, I have the Google watch, but I don't have the Google phone anymore.

[Monet X Change]

Yeah.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

So I have the Samsung watch. So I have a Samsung watch when I had a Samsung phone, and then I had a Google watch when I had a Google phone. I'm back on a Samsung phone. Oh, in my. In my Galaxy watch. Just stop. It won't charge anymore.

[Monet X Change]

Oh, my God. My water pick stopped working last night. I was very upset about it.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

We need to have a conversation about water picks because you and Taylor keep trying to preach the gospel of the water pick.

[Monet X Change]

I love my water pick.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

It's the. It's the destroyer.

[Monet X Change]

What is the destroyer?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

First of all, here's why I don't think I need to need a water pick. My dentist doesn't use one on me. My dentist uses it. First of all, I need to talk to all dentists out there. This thing y' all are trying to push off as a toothbrush is not a toothbrush. It is a belt sander. It is a power blaster.

[Monet X Change]

What?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

It's this thing, and it rotates. It's not a.

[Monet X Change]

Polish your teeth.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Yeah. They're calling it. It's not a toothbrush. And this sand, y' all are telling me it's toothpaste. The grittiest, crunchiest. This is not toothpaste.

[Monet X Change]

It's good. It gets all this real.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I get what it's doing. But, like, if that toothpaste is so great, why don't. Why don't y' all tell us? Why don't you sell it in the store?

[Monet X Change]

Because I think it's. I think that it's not medical grade, but I think it's stronger than. I don't think it's something you should put on your teeth every day. I think it's something that dentists can use when you come for a cleaning, but every day. Might do. Might take off too much enamel from your teeth, if I had to guess. You know, I love dentistry. I'm a very big into dentistry.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

So the dentist uses a toothbrush. They use floss. They use toothpaste. They have. You use mouthwash. I've never been to the dentist. Had them bust out a water pick.

[Monet X Change]

Okay. That's because when they didn't use the water pick. Because when they are. First clean your teeth, they use those. You're also not using those tools. The. The pick and the. And the stuff to, like, get. When they, like, scraping all the black off. You can't use that.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

You had a deep cleaning.

[Monet X Change]

Yeah.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Like, were they numb you? No, I had an I recently had a. I've recently had some. Some. Some work done.

[Monet X Change]

Sometimes work done.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I had a. A crown put on, and I had a. And a deep cleaning, and it was so irritating. I was in a bad mood because the deep cleaning took way. It took so long.

[Monet X Change]

Like, how long?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

So there's two dentists working on my teeth. One came in to do the deep cleaning. The deep cleaning. And the other came in to do the crown. The crown. And the lady who was in my deep cleaning, she kept saying, I'm almost done. And that pissed me off. Cause she wasn't. And at one point, I said I had to put. I said, believe you. I said, I don't believe you.

[Monet X Change]

You're so ridiculous.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I said, don't tell me you're almost done until you're about three minutes out, because you're. I'm now mentally preparing for you. So when you say I'm almost done. And. And we're. And that was 30 minutes ago. I'm angry, bro.

[Monet X Change]

Bro. You're a terrorist.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I'm angry.

[Monet X Change]

I don't. Making them stop and say, I don't believe you is crazy.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I don't believe you. I don't believe you.

[Monet X Change]

Ridiculous.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

We need to be held accountable for the things we say. And she gave me, like, I'm almost done. She basically, like, opened my mouth. And then as she opened my mouth, she was like, I'm almost done. Say, ah. I'm almost done. You're not almost done. It took me about 45 minutes to an hour, maybe two hours to get my teeth clean. I want to say 45 minutes to hours. I don't even. I was in a daze, and then I got the. Then I had to go do a show with my mouth all numb.

[Monet X Change]

Was it ggt?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

No, this was Moulin Rouge, the musical.

[Monet X Change]

Oh, Gaggy. Wait, so. Wait.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

So can you have my purse? Cane. And I have this cute mold of my teeth that I carry around.

[Monet X Change]

Do you still go to your dentist In New York, Dr. Wiljis shout out.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Dr. Josh Wilson.

[Monet X Change]

So you don't have a dentist here?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

No, I go. I just get my teeth out whenever I go to New York, which I'm there, like, eight times a year, and I don't go to the dentist eight times a year.

[Monet X Change]

I go to dentist four times a year.

[Jacob]

I was recently cleaning, and I found a tooth necklace in our house.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

It's a long story.

[Monet X Change]

And it's a tooth necklace.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

It's a long story. It's a long story.

[Ad Voice 1]

Sorry.

[Jacob]

Just one tooth, like a singular.

[Monet X Change]

Yes.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

A single Tooth on a gold chain. It is a very long story that I'm not getting into the podcast.

[Monet X Change]

Okay. I'll tell you about it later.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

So this is. These are my teeth.

[Monet X Change]

For your bridge?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

No, this is for my crown.

[Monet X Change]

Oh.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

So he took a mold of my teeth, and I was like, can I have that? And that crown. That. That temporary crown was. Was in my mouth for about a week. Not about a week.

[Monet X Change]

That crowns look really like. They look so real.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Thank God.

[Monet X Change]

P. Can I see this number?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Is that like a. I don't know. What is it? I don't know.

[Monet X Change]

P106. Wiljes Caldwell. Who's Will?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Just Dr. Wilters. Yeah. Dr. Wilgers.

[Monet X Change]

Which way is it? Is it going this way? The big tooth in the back.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

It's these teeth right here.

[Monet X Change]

Got it.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

And when you get a crown, it is so far. So in my experience, your actual teeth are quite sharp. Like, the little ridges, they're like. But then this tooth, it's soft. It's just smooth like a.

[Monet X Change]

Like a. So we're going to say like a. It's like a butter knife.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

It's more like a textured marble and mother. Teeth. Like, if I scrub my tongue really hard on my organic teeth, I will cut my tongue.

[Monet X Change]

No.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Yeah. If I scrub my teeth, if I took my tongue really hard on my organic teeth that I grew myself, I will cut my tongue.

[Monet X Change]

No way. I can't do that.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

And if I scrub my teeth on my fake teeth, of which I now have 6, 7, 8, 9. Which is crazy. Well, to be fair. Okay, so I'm only missing. I'm only actually missing two teeth. I'm missing this one. Nope. I'm missing this one and this one. But they're bridges, so the teeth next to them are covered up. There are teeth under there. So I'm only actually missing two teeth. The teeth are missing on Drag Race. Shout out to the camera. No, it's these two here.

[Monet X Change]

Oh, here.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

These two right here. And then this tooth is like. There's a tooth under there that's shaved down. And there's a tooth under here. And the tooth under there. It looks like. There looks like this now it looks like that.

[Monet X Change]

The one here.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

No, here.

[Monet X Change]

Oh, there.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Okay, Looks like that.

[Monet X Change]

But the one here. Is this. The little sharp one?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Yeah, that's a little point. One little point. And the teeth next. I don't know what they look. I. I haven't seen them in years.

[Monet X Change]

Got it. Have you ever gotten teeth. Teeth whitened?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Teeth whitening.

[Monet X Change]

Oh, because of the.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I have too Many fake teeth, too.

[Monet X Change]

Fake teeth.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I have so eight of the teeth you see in my mouth that you can see are.

[Monet X Change]

So if you whiten them, there will be a lot of discoloration.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

They won't whiten at the same rate

[Monet X Change]

as my other teeth. That's what my dad was saying. He's like, if you like. He was like. He was like. When you get. If someone gets like whitening the. What is going on? The cv?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

It's definitely the tv. I think it looks nice.

[Monet X Change]

He's so damn country and weird.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Having teeth is country.

[Monet X Change]

Just putting your.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Your. Your.

[Monet X Change]

Your fossil thing just on.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

They're not fossil. It's plastic.

[Monet X Change]

They're mold of your teeth.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Did you know that the dinosaur fossil you're seeing in museums are usually not real?

[Monet X Change]

What are they then?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

They're re. So. They're like. They're not the real bones. They're just like often. Not always. They're often just recreations of a skeleton that is somewhere kept safe.

[Monet X Change]

That makes sense. I mean, because then if you have them in it oxidize. And I'm sure there can be things that can. That makes sense to me.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I don't know.

[Monet X Change]

Like, why didn't you see the real thing?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Because I thought that's what I was looking at. Like, if you heard the Mona Lisa, you're looking at is not the Mona Lisa. It's not recreation of the Mona Lisa. No, it is.

[Monet X Change]

Okay.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Yeah, but if you heard that it was not the actual Mona Lisa. What are we doing here? What am I looking at?

[Monet X Change]

The fair.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

So I'm going to the Museum of Natural History. I thought I was looking at the actual stegosaurus. I'm looking at a 3D print stegosaurus. This is crazy. I don't. I think that feels like. I'm sure that somewhere they say that that's what was happening, but that feels like false advertising.

[Monet X Change]

Do you think for anything you can do, we can do a dentist one,

[Bob the Drag Queen]

like, as practicing as a dentist? No.

[Jacob]

Maybe like a dentist. A dental hygienist. Assistant.

[Monet X Change]

Yeah, like something like that.

[Jacob]

What unlicensed work can we do as a dentist?

[Monet X Change]

Bought from Atlanta. A whole bunch of scammers. Jay just arrested, like, four people.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Well, veneer techs.

[Monet X Change]

Veneer techs, of course, in Atlanta.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Entrepreneurs. Of course in Atlanta.

[Monet X Change]

Fucking veneer techs. Making up jobs, playing in people's mouths.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

That's crazy. I got my first tooth done in Atlanta. Dr. Axel. Oh, my Jamaican doctor. Who did my first tooth?

[Monet X Change]

My uncle.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

She's a woman.

[Monet X Change]

Uncle Axel.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Dr. Axel.

[Monet X Change]

She was A woman.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Thank you. You don't think women can be doctor? That's crazy. I said Dr. Axel. Your first thought was, man, that's crazy. Do you want to apologize to women in who work in STEM?

[Monet X Change]

Oh, my God.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Science, technology, engineering, and math. Oh, Dr. Axel is a science, technology, engineer, I guess. Dentistry. Would that be in there?

[Monet X Change]

No, it's not science. Oh, yeah, Science. Dental science.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

So this is a woman in STEM. Do you want to apologize to Dr. Axel? She's probably watching right now.

[Monet X Change]

She's not watching right now.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

She is a Caribbean sister.

[Monet X Change]

Not your Caribbean sister.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Axel is a Caribbean sister of yours. And you don't want to apologize to

[Monet X Change]

Dr. Axel because she's not watching this.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Dr. Axl has been a fan of mine since I was in fucking seventh. No, I got my toothpicks in 10th grade.

[Monet X Change]

And she's been a fan of yours since 10th grade. Bitch.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

She laughed once.

[Monet X Change]

That's always Bob the Drag Queen, dude.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

You laugh at Bob's joke, you're a bobblehead. You laugh once, you're a bobblehead.

[Jacob]

Hey, it's Ryan Reynolds here from Mint Mobile. Now, I was looking for fun ways to tell you that Mint's offer of unlimited Premium Wireless for $15 a month is back. So I thought it would be fun if we made $15 bills, but it turns out that's very illegal, so there goes my big idea for the commercial. Give it a [e-mail] Switch upfront payment

[Ad Voice 1]

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[Monet X Change]

Do you want to come clean or do you want to apologize to me now?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

About what?

[Monet X Change]

About in the last episode of the podcast. You were like, monet, no one is watching this video thinking, why am I wearing this jersey? Literally every comment was like I was going to say, why is my wearing a hockey jersey? That seems more like Monet's aesthetic. Literally 75% of the comments. Do you want to apologize?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

No, I would never apologize to you.

[Monet X Change]

What is what a give.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

It is you. Because you don't apologize to me, so I don't apologize to you.

[Monet X Change]

I literally, last episode, I said, I want to apologize to you about it

[Bob the Drag Queen]

was like something stank on it. That wasn't stank. Something about it was stank. Bucky William, you know what it is? Too little too late. That's what it is. I've been asking for so long. So now when they're coming, I'm like, I don't want it anymore. At this point. If I order my burger at noon and it shows at 5, I'm not hungry anymore.

[Monet X Change]

Oh, a good burger would be good today.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

What kind of burger you like? What are you going through?

[Monet X Change]

Just order a burger. The bacon bacon burger at Cheesecake Factory.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Baby, baby, what's on the bacon bacon burger?

[Monet X Change]

It's bacon. Two strips of applewood smoked bacon.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Two strips of bacon.

[Monet X Change]

But thick.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Is the thick like Canadian bacon?

[Monet X Change]

No, not Canadian. It's the thick Applewood smoke. It's like not like the thin bacon. It's like this thick.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

All this over two strips. If I'm hearing bacon bacon, I'm expecting minimum, four strips of bacon. Minimum.

[Monet X Change]

That's crazy. You get a fucking heart attack.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

And I actually would like for them to be cut into the shape of the burger. No.

[Monet X Change]

Cause I want extra on the side so I can like. So what I did, I get the burger and I the four little extra pieces hanging off.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

So how much bacon do you think is on a regular bacon burger?

[Monet X Change]

No, but wow, these are, these are too. When I tell you they're not. They're like thick. They're like this thick.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

You're calling it the bacon bacon. Like the Baconator. Imagine the baconator had two strips of bacon on it. Now granted it is paper thin, but to say the, the bacon. Yeah, it's paper thin bacon. The best. Okay.

[Monet X Change]

Two strips of smoked bacon, yellow cheddar cheese. They have this sauce on it. I don't know what the sauce is. It's like sauce. It's akin to. You remember the JD sauce from Applebee's?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

No.

[Monet X Change]

You never had the Jack Daniels burger from Applebee's?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

No, I used to work. I used to work at Applebee's.

[Monet X Change]

This is why I was. Oh my God, my protein drink. This is why I was chunking McChunkerson,

[Bob the Drag Queen]

president of the protein epidemic. My protein?

[Monet X Change]

No, because when I drink it like

[Bob the Drag Queen]

that, ocean killer just is typing in the chat right now.

[Monet X Change]

When I was chunk of McChunkinson back in college, and I wonder why, bitch. I used to get the Jack David

[Bob the Drag Queen]

burger at least three times a week. When I was. When I was in my 20s, I was really, really thin and I was. I mean, I was. What? Depends. I was going through a lot of phase where I wouldn't eat for, you know, periods of time, which is not great. Yeah, obviously. But when I was eating, which was more often than not, I would dip Every bite of everything I ate into ranch. Every bite of my burger is going into ranch. That's what I'm saying.

[Monet X Change]

I like ranch. I don't like ranch that much. That's crazy.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

The best. Okay, sorry. The sauce which is akin to the jade. So it's like. Is it. So it's like a barbecue Y type sauce.

[Monet X Change]

It's kind of like a barbecue, but kind of. But like a little sweet. But it's not.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Barbecue sauce is sweet.

[Monet X Change]

No, but the Jake D, the JD one has a different like it's not like a sweet Baby Ray. It's like a different kind of sweet. I can't explain. It has these little like onion. A little glaze.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Is it a little mustardy?

[Monet X Change]

No.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Is it ketchupy?

[Monet X Change]

I don't know what that means.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Tomatoey?

[Monet X Change]

No.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Thousand Island Y.

[Monet X Change]

No.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Is it. Let's just mute.

[Jacob]

Is muted. I mean I.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Okay. Not Thousand Island Y.

[Monet X Change]

No, it's just like a mayonnaise Y barbecue sauce. What would you say Baby Ray's is?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I don't know what Baby Ray's is.

[Monet X Change]

You never had sweet Baby Ray's? Is that a delicious barbecue? It's a barbecue sauce. Everyone loves sweet Baby Ray's.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I don't really have a. Like I don't know that much about barbecue sauce. Like when I think about barbecue, if I go to the store to buy barbecue sauce, I'm probably gonna go and buy some Heinz barbecue sauce.

[Shannon Maldonado]

Got it.

[Monet X Change]

Yeah. I stopped doing those cuz there's so much sugar in those.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I mean I don't eat that much barbecue.

[Monet X Change]

Got it.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Like I'm not like really, I'm not. I don't think. I don't know the last time I actually purchased barbecue sauce cuz.

[Monet X Change]

Cuz Atlanta isn't really like barbecue.

[Ad Voice 1]

Right.

[Monet X Change]

That's more like Texas.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Yeah. Atlanta is more soul food.

[Monet X Change]

Soul food? Yeah.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Tennessee is also barbecue.

[Monet X Change]

Tennessee? Yeah. Tennessee. Yeah.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

They do barbecue in Georgia. I'm not saying they don't barbecue.

[Monet X Change]

So is that burger. I would love that burger. But now they have the Skinnylicious burger. That's a turkey burger.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I would like to talk about my burger. You did one. And I would like to talk about a burger now.

[Monet X Change]

Okay. Talk about yours.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Thank you. The best burger in my humble opinion is a smokehouse burger from typically the one I had from Ruby Tuesday was great. But I'll take one from anywhere. This is a Angus burger.

[Monet X Change]

What is Angus? Angus is like Kobe.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

It's a type of cow.

[Monet X Change]

Like Wagyu.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

No, I think Wagyu is. I Don't know. Wagyu is a type of cow, is it? The Wagyu is a type of cow.

[Jacob]

Yeah.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

So all cows have. I thought you had to do. I thought Wagyu was like, what's the name? Like, like foie gras. Like you have to do something to the. To the beast to make it foie gras.

[Jacob]

Sorry, it's. It's there. It's specifically from different types of Japanese cows.

[Monet X Change]

Yeah.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

So wagyu is like when is like. Wagyu is like when the beef is fatty, but they're making the cow fat to get all the fat in there.

[Jacob]

But it is a specific breed of cow, but.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Oh, so. So there's like four Angus Wagyu burgers.

[Jacob]

It looks like there are four different cows. I think so, yeah.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

What's up? And what is Wagyu like? Wagyu definition? Wagyu.

[Monet X Change]

Wagyu translates to Japanese cow is a premium beef renowned renown, renowned for its intense intramuscular fat, marbling, buttery texture, and rich umami flavor produced from four specific Japanese breeds. Jake is correct.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Got it. So I. So the Angus is a type of cow, I reckon.

[Monet X Change]

Got it.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

And anyway, cheddar cheese, yellow cheddar cheese.

[Monet X Change]

Oh, wow, look at that. That's a big cow

[Bob the Drag Queen]

work. This is like a standard size cow. That's a big cow.

[Monet X Change]

Okay, Sorry.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Angus, cheddar cheese, yellow cheddar cheese, hard cheddar. Like a sharp hard cheddar cheese. Barbecue sauce. Onion ring or onion crisp.

[Monet X Change]

I prefer onion crisp more than onion rings because onion rings, when you bite it, they sometimes get loose and then

[Bob the Drag Queen]

you pull the whole onion.

[Monet X Change]

It's too much.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I prefer onion crisp onions, red onions, like raw onions.

[Monet X Change]

Do you like red onions or white onions more?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I'm. I prefer. I honestly, I'll take whichever I can get.

[Monet X Change]

Okay.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I probably prefer the red onion same, but I will have either one. I. I really feel like every burger needs have a raw onion on it.

[Monet X Change]

I agree.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

It adds so, so much texture, flavor. It's. It's the unspoken ch. It's the unsung hero of the burger.

[Monet X Change]

I would agree.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Truly. No pickles. Don't put pickle on my mother. Oh, my God. You like pickles on your burger. I don't like pickles either, but people think that means you don't like pickles. I like pickles.

[Monet X Change]

Oh, I don't like pickles at all.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I don't pickles on my burger.

[Monet X Change]

Oh, at all.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Because now the burger is about the pickle. The burger's about the pickle now?

[Monet X Change]

Yeah.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

And that's not what I'm here for. I'm here for the burger. Lettuce.

[Monet X Change]

Lettuce.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Tomato, no tomato. Iceberg lettuce, please.

[Monet X Change]

What's the difference? Iceberg's like the crispy one.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

It's crispy, okay.

[Ad Voice 1]

Yeah.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

And I would like a toasted bun. If I can get on. If I can get a pretzel bun, that'd be great. I'm not. I'm not obsessed with that.

[Monet X Change]

Okay. Okay.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

And that is the. And. And dipping every bite in ranch.

[Monet X Change]

In ranch.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Every bite.

[Monet X Change]

That's too much. Just put the ranch on it. Like a sauce.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

No, no, no, no, no. Because the. Because what I'm essentially wanting is my entire burger dipping ranch, But I'm just doing it piece by piece.

[Monet X Change]

Why don't you just put it on as a sauce? I don't get it.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

The entire. You're not understanding the top, the bottom, all around. I want the. I would like the whole burger to be fully encased in ranch. That is crazy, girl. Which is why when you dip it, you're basically doing that with every bite. That's crazy. And just putting it on there is not nearly enough. Not nearly enough.

[Monet X Change]

Okay, wait, Jacob, can you say. Can you pull up a picture of the bacon bacon burger from

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Cheesecake Factory? Yeah.

[Monet X Change]

And I want to see Bob Smokehouse.

[Jacob]

Right?

[Monet X Change]

Let me see if I described it correctly.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Yeah.

[Monet X Change]

See? Do you see how thick that bacon is?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

That's thick bacon. That's thick, girl. What is it at the bottom? Oh, that's that sauce. Yeah, I think the tomato.

[Monet X Change]

No, that's.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I don't know.

[Monet X Change]

No, it's not ketchup. It's something else. It's not ketchup on there. I don't know what that is.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

And look at that next to your burger. A whole bunch of pickles.

[Jacob]

Ugh.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Look at that. That's like 18 pickles. That's a pickle. Pickle burger, bitch. This is the pickle pickle burger.

[Monet X Change]

I always say no pickles.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

The whole. Yeah. Just so y' all know what we're looking at, the entire top bun is completely.

[Monet X Change]

No, the top bun is behind it.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

That's the condiments. Those pickles are the size of the top bun. It's the size of the top bun.

[Monet X Change]

Yeah, that's the size.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

That's enough pickles to cover the entirety of the top bun.

[Monet X Change]

I agree. It's disgusting. I might get this in. But do you know how many calories are in this, though?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

A lot.

[Monet X Change]

1800 calories.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

In a burger. Eat it.

[Monet X Change]

That's crazy.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I just remember Tuesday, we had this thing called the baked chicken, broccoli, penne pasta, whatever. It was. 2,800 calories.

[Monet X Change]

2,800 calories, you know, So I was watching this thing on TikTok today about these, like, these 10 chains that you shouldn't eat at, and maybe since you worked at, you can confirm or deny. Applebee's. The food just comes into a. They're not cooking that food. There's.

[Ad Voice 1]

They.

[Monet X Change]

Do they cook it, like, on the grill there? Well, maybe they used to. Not anymore. This guy did this.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

What do you mean they're not cooking it?

[Monet X Change]

Like, the food comes, like, frozen already, and they just basically putting in microwaves. Like, the kitchen. He's showing us behind the kitchen. The kitchen, just a glorified microwave. There's like 20 microwaves. And they're not like, you know when you get your steak and it's like it has the marks on it. They're not grilling it there. The steak is pressed with the grill marks on it beforehand, and they just put it in the microwave to heat it up.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Oh, no, we didn't. The apple's I worked at, or at least back in 2000, 2004. 2006. Yes.

[Monet X Change]

Probably changed a lot.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

20 years ago, you come in the morning. Not too much.

[Monet X Change]

20 years ago.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

She's older than my oldest brother.

[Monet X Change]

Wow.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

No, we did not go to school together.

[Monet X Change]

Youngest brother.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

You mean she's older than my oldest brother. The quote is, it goes. We know. We did not go to school together.

[Monet X Change]

She's much older than me.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Not much, though. Not much. We don't have to go there. We can. We can. We did not go. She's older than my oldest brother. I'm 43, to be exact. Well, I'm 43, to be exact. Well, anyway, that's more or less it. So we. We go in the morning, and the prep cooks cook all the sides.

[Monet X Change]

Okay. So we're cooking, like, the Mac and cheese. So we're actually potatoes.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I can't remember. I can't remember if we actually mashed. I feel like we actually mashed the potato. I feel like my job was to actually mash the potatoes.

[Monet X Change]

That's what. That's. Back when stuff was first, they had,

[Bob the Drag Queen]

like, lumps in them. Yeah, there were lumps in our potatoes. We actually mashed potatoes. And we cooked the green beans. So I cook all the sides. So the sides are warmed up. Because they're all cooked.

[Monet X Change]

Cooked in the morning.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

In the morning.

[Monet X Change]

Okay.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

And the Burgers. And the burgers are made. The burgers and the steaks are actually cooked. But I will say Ruby Tuesday was pretty much the same. Except the beef is never frozen.

[Monet X Change]

Right.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

So if you order a burger, it is never frozen. That. Not to sound brutal, but that cow was probably killed within the week.

[Monet X Change]

Well, that's back in the day. I think a lot of stuff has changed with supply and demand. They're trying to find ways to make food faster and easier and cheaper. I'm sure they're not doing it the same anymore. Someone. If you work at Applebee's or one of these big chain restaurants like Applebee's or Chili's. Comment.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

And you want to lose your job. Comment.

[Monet X Change]

Well, do it under the student. No one knows. Wait, can I see a picture of the smokehouse burger now? I'm hungry. I got me thinking about burger.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Smokehouse burger is fantastic.

[Monet X Change]

But where's your favorite one from Ruby Tuesday? Oh, okay.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I mean, this is Ruby Tuesday menu 20 years ago. I don't even know if they still have it. Maybe I'm. I'm brought back. I'm brought back. I'm brought back. They used to have something called the top. The. The. The typhoon sauce or the. Or the. They used to have this sauce that you would dip your shrimp in and I would order it with everything. That was my. That was my ranch. That was my first ranch.

[Monet X Change]

Got it.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

That was my first ever rant.

[Monet X Change]

Typhoon sauce.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Maybe it's not typhoon sauce. Maybe it's called Thai food. Ruby Tuesday. It was. It was like. It was like a certain kind of shrimp. It only came with a shrimp. I love this all so much. My manager actually bought me a big bag of it to have.

[Monet X Change]

Typhoon.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Yeah, yeah. It was Typhoon sauce.

[Monet X Change]

Yeah.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

No, the sweet and spicy chili sauce. That's what it was. And it came with the typhoon shrimp.

[Monet X Change]

That's what it was.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Sweet, sweet, spicy chili sauce. And I don't even know if they still have it or not, but that sauce. Woo, baby, that sauce is good.

[Monet X Change]

You know what I love? I love me the blooming onion from. I might get me a Blooming Onion today.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Can we agree that awesome Blossom is a better name than Blooming Onion? No, I like Blooming Onion better than awesome Blossom.

[Monet X Change]

Yeah, Blooming Onion feels very sexual.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

First of all, awesome Blossom, great drag name.

[Monet X Change]

She has to smell like onions.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

She has to smell like onions.

[Monet X Change]

She has to smell like onions.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Fried onions. What's the difference? You smell fried. Like fried. Fried food. You're not fried food.

[Monet X Change]

You know a hack when you Are cutting onions and you don't want to cry. Just put a candle. Like, bring a candle. Light a candle and cut the onions next to the candle. The sulfur from the onion goes into the candle, not into your eyes.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I don't think I've ever cut onion. I've cut onion.

[Monet X Change]

You never cut an onion before at work?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I've cut onion, yeah.

[Monet X Change]

When? When you're making the 19 pounds of potatoes.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I don't think I've cut onion at home.

[Monet X Change]

You never could, I guess. You don't cook at home.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I don't cook.

[Monet X Change]

When. When you made your little Mac and cheese.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

There's no onions in my Mac and cheese.

[Monet X Change]

Oh, did you put onion powder in it, though?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I didn't. The recipe didn't go. First of all, my Mac and cheese was amazing. I tasted at Kim's, so I don't need any suggestions.

[Jacob]

What did you think on a scale of 1 to 10? On a scale of 1 to 10?

[Monet X Change]

A scale of 1 to 10? Well, I don't like spice. I don't like. Like buffalo. Like, I don't like buffalo.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Buffalo in it. So continue.

[Monet X Change]

But you made it. It was a spicy chicken, but it wasn't buffalo. Anyway, everything's.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Whoa, whoa. Everything's spicy. Not buffalo.

[Monet X Change]

Okay, then what would you describe it as?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

It was spicy, but it wasn't buffalo.

[Jacob]

What kind of spice?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I used the signature hot sauce. The signature hot from Popeyes, which is not buffalo. Buffalo is a different flavor.

[Monet X Change]

I know, but it's the same. It's in the same neighborhood for me. So I'm like, I'm interested in that spicy kind of, like, flavor Mac and cheese. So for me, that was a deterrent. If it was, like, regular Mac and cheese with chicken in it, I'll be into that. There was chicken in it, but the spicy. I don't want spicy. My Mac and cheese.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I want to be clear. My dish, when I left, my pan was empty.

[Monet X Change]

I'm not saying that it wasn't good. I'm just saying I'm letting them know

[Bob the Drag Queen]

that you're biased against what you thought was buffalo and is not.

[Monet X Change]

I don't like spicy, like Mac and cheese.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

It cleared.

[Monet X Change]

Like, why can't you make it with chicken? Why got to make it spicy?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Because I like spicy Mac and cheese.

[Monet X Change]

Okay. What about other people?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

There's other food. This is white bean. This is white bean theory.

[Monet X Change]

White bean.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

White bean soup. You're doing white bean soup?

[Monet X Change]

What's white bean soup?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

White bean soup. This girl, she was like, hey, guys, this is a great recipe. For white bean soup. And this girl is like, what? If you don't like white beans, then this soup ain't for you. So the comment blew up like, people like, I cannot believe you're asking her to make the white bean soup that white beans like, bitch, move on. This is. This is not the Mac and cheese for you.

[Monet X Change]

Have you tasted my lasagna soup?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

No.

[Monet X Change]

It's fucking good.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I thought it was from whole foods.

[Monet X Change]

No, I made a lasagna soup from scratch. I think it was the. We did a friendsgiving. I don't think. Not a friendsgiving, a Christmas thing. But you didn't.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I wasn't invited.

[Monet X Change]

No, you couldn't come for whatever reason.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Was I invited?

[Monet X Change]

It was like three years ago.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Was I invited?

[Monet X Change]

You were invited. You're always invited to anything at my house. Don't act like you have not been there. I'm asking, so. But I guess you were in a town I love looking to. Well, here's the thing. Bob's behaving himself today. Cause he doesn't have an audience of 19. When you have an audience here, you're doing an audience. You're doing a show.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

So Kane is nothing to you anyway.

[Monet X Change]

When you have an audience of, like, Nene and those ladies, you are putting on the show.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Who are those ladies?

[Monet X Change]

Tracy and Claudio.

[Jacob]

Is that Olivia.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Olivia Patreon rap or what?

[Monet X Change]

Bob is putting on a show today. You're being nice.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I'm being myself. I'm always being myself. You're being nice. Do you. What kind of fries. What restaurant has the best fries?

[Monet X Change]

Ooh, best fries for me. Let me go. What? I don't like. I hate steak fries.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Not a big fan. I will have them. Not a big fan.

[Monet X Change]

I don't like steak fries.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I don't hate them, though. I don't think I hate any fries.

[Monet X Change]

People say the In n out. I don't like in n out fries. People say the reason why we don't like them is because they're real potatoes. And we're used to, like, the nasty shit preservative.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

And I was like, are they not true?

[Monet X Change]

Right?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Because five guys famously uses real potatoes.

[Monet X Change]

And they'll be like fries in the business.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

They'll be like. And these fries are from Craig. Craig. You ever seen the sign?

[Monet X Change]

Yeah.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Craig the farmer.

[Monet X Change]

Five guys Fries are the best fries.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

So it's not because they're not real fries. It's because of the way they're. They're cooking them.

[Monet X Change]

Yeah, they're weird. I don't like in and out fries.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Maybe they'd be a big bag of potatoes in the front of five guys. They're like, just look at that big bag of potatoes. They still do. Big bag of potatoes.

[Monet X Change]

I don't know. I haven't been to five.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

You seen it, right?

[Jacob]

I have seen that.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

It's just a big bag. Bag of potatoes. It is like these are from a local farm.

[Monet X Change]

Which is a performative or is it real, you think? I don't trust any big business now. I believe them. Pull the wool over our eyes.

[Jacob]

I mean, could they technically get sued for false advertising then?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Yeah, I think that you. I believe them.

[Jacob]

Not that that's to stop people.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

You think they're making up the farm and everything.

[Monet X Change]

I don't think they're making up. I'm just saying. I generally don't know. I just feel like with everything today, I just feel like everyone is kind of is trying to get over on us. I don't know.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

First of all, in n out, are y' all trying to get rid of fries? Like, are y'.

[Shannon Maldonado]

All.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Are y' all sick of these fries? Do you not want the fries in your store? What In N Out does.

[Monet X Change]

Is.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Do you not. How often do you go to In n out?

[Monet X Change]

I go at least four times a year. They because the line is too long. I want to go more. But every time you buy, especially in the la.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Sorry, sorry. Not In n out. Five guys. How have you been to five guys?

[Monet X Change]

Oh, I haven't been recently.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I mean, until I got about five guys.

[Monet X Change]

Okay.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Are y' all like, they. It's like they don't want these fries.

[Monet X Change]

Oh, they give you so many.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

They put the fries in the thing

[Monet X Change]

that they couldn't load.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

They just. They just season it. They season it with fry. They do a little fried seasoning.

[Monet X Change]

I. But I love that.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Oh, the bag is falling apart. It's so much grease. The whole bottom of the bag is tissue paper at this point.

[Monet X Change]

So good. You have to hold.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

You have to hold this bag from the bottom.

[Monet X Change]

Wait, so who do you think.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Now your hand's greasy.

[Monet X Change]

Who do you think has the best fries?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Okay, it's a. It's. This is a tough one, cuz. Checkers has great fries. Checkers has.

[Monet X Change]

They're very crunchy tray.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Crunchy.

[Monet X Change]

Yeah.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Checkers has great, great fries. Five guys has great fries. And they give you so many. But when they throw that Cajun, the

[Monet X Change]

Cajun seasoning on it.

[Jacob]

Eh, eh.

[Monet X Change]

The Cajun season.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

When they throw the Cajun on the fries, the game done changed. I like five guys Burgers, but I'm coming for the fries.

[Monet X Change]

I would agree. So what Andy and I do when we are being real fat girls, we go to In N Out. We sit in the line for three, three business days, get our burgers, then go to a five, guys get fries, and we have our In N Out burgers with our fries, and we get it. Then we get dessert from Jenny's.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Nothing can convince me to sit in the in and out line.

[Monet X Change]

It's so good. Those burgers are so good.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Across the street from when I went. When I remember on Orange, I went once the line.

[Monet X Change]

Why is this? So when I was. When I did the Bray Improv and I drove back that night, I passed like three, five guys on the way.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

And.

[Monet X Change]

And the lines were normal. They were like a little in and out, in and out. But in LA county, in and out is an L. A thing I'm saying. But in. But down in Brea.

[Jacob]

Well, it's also a touristy thing because people come to Hollywood, they're like, oh, we got to try in and out.

[Monet X Change]

Right? So when you go outside LA county, they're like, normal. They're fudgeing normal. But that's not true, because the one in Vegas, super crazy, too. Well, I was a tourist destination too.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I would say this, though. Here's another. Here's a good hack for you.

[Monet X Change]

What?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

You cannot order raising canes on UberEats, but you can order it through their app or through their website. Baby, you will not. Wait a second. If you order Raising Canes, be ready to leave right now. Telling you, order it, drive there. When I was in Orlando working on the music for Harriet, Kevin Antunes, Shout out to Kevin Antunes taught me this trick. You order it, drive immediately. Walk in, walk, grab your shit, walk right the fuck out. You will never be sucking that line.

[Monet X Change]

I've lost it for raising canes. I got sick on it, so now I can't eat it.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

More for me.

[Monet X Change]

Yeah. Which I'm happy about.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Congratulations. You're the winner of this week's challenge. I really am. And I'm also obviously dipping my fries in ranch every bite.

[Monet X Change]

Oh, what a cane sauce.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I don't dip my. I'll dip my fries in cane sauce. Yeah, Yeah. I like canes. It ain't. It ain't a ranch.

[Monet X Change]

I wish, you know, I. You know, I wish was better, but something that. It's a gamble if the chicken's gonna be dry or not. Zaxby's.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Their sauce is great.

[Monet X Change]

The sauce is great, but the chicken, sometimes it's Moist. Sometimes. It's like.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

The truth is, when you go to Zaxby's, when you go to Raising Canes, when you go to Guthrie's, you're not there for the chicken. You're there for the sauce.

[Monet X Change]

No raising canes.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

You're at raising Canes for the sauce. If raising Canes drop that sauce, sales are going down. No, you go to Raising Canes for the. And I think this is true of. Of chicken tenders in general. Chicken tenders are about the sauce. You're eating with them. Chicken tenders are.

[Monet X Change]

The chicken is a vehicle for the sauce.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Yes, chicken tenders are not about the chicken. Cause chicken is relatively flavorless. And yes, they're seasoning the stuff. Yes, there's seasoning in it for sure. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's about the sauce. This is why they all have their own signature sauce. Zach sauce, Raising cane sauce, Guthrie's.

[Monet X Change]

I have my own signature sauce at the house.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

We don't want your ranch sauce. You like it, but you look like Monet.

[Monet X Change]

That's so good.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

But I'm saying it's gonna be ranch. It's gonna be. I mean, it's a protein sauce. I'm saying it's gonna be protein.

[Monet X Change]

I've been changing it up.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I do want your ranch, but I don't care. The protein's in it, okay? You and the protein, you're gonna be in it.

[Monet X Change]

You can have my ranch.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Baby, it smells like ranch. Put it away.

[Monet X Change]

Okay. Can you do a video for me? I wanna do a YouTube video with you.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Okay. What was. Can you.

[Monet X Change]

We're gonna come over and we're gonna.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

To your home.

[Monet X Change]

To my home. Right. From my home. And we're gonna get. I'm gonna get a bunch of tenders from different places, and we're gonna see if we can decipher which tenders from where.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I won't be able to.

[Monet X Change]

You won't be able to.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I can. If you give me the sauce, I can be like, that's. This, this, this, this. I can only tell from the sauce because I've never. I think I'm eating a fucking raising cane's butt naked chicken tender.

[Monet X Change]

But you don't know what it is from the look of it. I know what it's just from the look of them.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Maybe.

[Monet X Change]

I think Popeyes has a specific look. Zaxby's has a look from looking.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Yeah.

[Monet X Change]

Yeah.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

You think I'm about to eat a butt naked. Raising Cane's chicken tender.

[Shannon Maldonado]

Yes.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Booty butt naked. Hell.

[Monet X Change]

Okay. Okay. I'll do Chicken sandwiches from each one.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Why can't I just do the sauce? Can I just have the sauce?

[Monet X Change]

I want to do chicken sandwiches.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Why would you like to say you can have a sauce?

[Monet X Change]

Because then everyone doesn't have their own distinct sauce.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Who don't have own distinct sauce? Everyone has a distinct sauce.

[Monet X Change]

Okay.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Blackened Ranch from Popeyes.

[Monet X Change]

Shake Shack.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Shake Shack has Shake Sauce. Shack sauce. I mean, raising cane sauce.

[Monet X Change]

Popeyes.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Popeyes has the black Ranch.

[Monet X Change]

Who else?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

KFC has the KFC signature sauce. And it's good. I rarely can. I had it yesterday for the first time in a really long time.

[Monet X Change]

McDonald's fell off on the selects. What happened to the selects?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

It was too niggerish. The commercials were too niggerish. They were pandering to black folks with fried chicken, and it was niggerish and it was offensive. Ooh, honey. Don't come for my chicken selects.

[Monet X Change]

He said. He said my chicken selects voice.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Yes, y', all, we're gonna wrap up soon. But you got. Y' all go listen to all of our ads. Monet kinda stopped, but, like, maybe like two years ago. Monat, when we read the ads, can you bring up a fake ad, Jacob, real quick, can you do the chicken select voice?

[Monet X Change]

I don't have a chicken select voice, Monet.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Please, please just bring up any fake ad, Jacob, and we'll read it real

[Monet X Change]

quick as we go.

[Jacob]

Oh, gotcha.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

And I want y' all to see y'. All. I used to be. I had to mute myself cause Monae would do her chicken select.

[Monet X Change]

My name is Monet.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I have an accent.

[Monet X Change]

But you don't. Cause you don't say this all the time.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Everyone has an accent, Monet. Okay, all right. This is how we do our podcast, if you want to do it.

[Monet X Change]

All right, here we go.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Support of this podcast is brought to you by Walden University. Ever catch yourself thinking, what if I could go after what I actually want and really make a difference?

[Monet X Change]

You're not alone.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

No. Do the real voice. That is hard. Do what you used to do before I called you out.

[Monet X Change]

Not used to do the chicken swings. Do what I used to do.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I used to do. All right, I'm gonna be Monet.

[Monet X Change]

You do it.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Here you go. Start at the top.

[Monet X Change]

Support for this podcast is brought to you by Walden University. Ever catch yourself thinking, what if I could go after what I actually want and really make a difference?

[Shannon Maldonado]

Mm.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

You are not alone, honey. This is exactly what I want to tell y' all about Walden University. Uh huh. For over 50 years, baby girl, Walden has helped working it up like you get the W with the knowledge and skills to build the future you want, honey. And make a difference. We gotta go.

[Monet X Change]

We have to go. Goodbye.