The One About Dystopia

Summary

Sibling Rivalry – "The One About Dystopia"

Hosts: Bob the Drag Queen & Monét X Change
Date: November 17, 2025

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Episode Overview

In this hilariously candid episode of Sibling Rivalry, Bob the Drag Queen and Monét X Change, joined at moments by Jacob and Shannon Maldonado, tackle the theme of dystopia. With their signature banter, they spiral from gun culture and doomsday prepping to wild musings about surviving (or not surviving) in apocalyptic scenarios. The episode is packed with storytelling, playful debates over etiquette, confessions about housework, and drag queen nostalgia—all threaded with humor and authenticity. Longtime listeners will love the deep dives into drag, personal anecdotes, and classically sharp sibling rivalry.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Gun Culture, Apocalypse, and Survival (00:40–06:30)

• Monét recounts her experience at a gun range and a mishap during a show in the UK where a stage gun caused her to bleed during a rehearsal (01:01–01:38).
• Bob and Monét debate gun laws—painting differences between New York and Texas (“You want a rocket launcher, have one. Kindergartener wants a grenade, have one.” – Bob, 00:46).
• The moral quandary:
  • Would owning a gun truly provide safety, or just the illusion of it?
  • Bob is firmly anti-more-guns, rejecting the "good guy with a gun" narrative.
  • Monét admits, “It won’t make me safer. It’ll make me feel better, but…” (05:03).
• Dystopian readiness:
  • Monét’s partner is prepping a "bug out bag" (emergency survival kit; 05:22–06:12).
  • Bob’s reaction: “I don’t want to live like that.” (06:04)

Notable Quotes

• “I don’t want to live in that world.” – Bob (06:04)
• “But in what world am I gonna be having a shootout with my neighbors, girl?” – Monét (05:16)

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2. Dystopian Cinema and “Would You Survive?” (07:27–13:12)

• Iconic apocalyptic scenarios debated:
  • I Am Legend, Mad Max, 28 Days Later, Snowpiercer, The Hunger Games.
• Bob’s attitude: surrender rather than struggle.
  • “If there are zombies, when I tell you I wouldn’t even run…” (08:40)
  • Monet: “I’m fighting for my life.” (08:52)
  • Bob: “That’s three more years of struggle.” (08:58)
• Humor about class systems: Bob’s certainty he’d claw to the top in a society with hierarchy, but would flop where silence or fighting zombies is required.
• Hunger Games mini-game: Hosts find their fictional districts—agriculture for Bob, fishing for Monét.

Notable Quotes

• “In a world where there’s a class system, I’m making it to the top.” – Bob (11:23)
• “In ‘A Quiet Place’? You dead, immediately. You won’t shut the fuck up.” – Monét (10:45)

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3. Personal Anecdotes: Saving Money and Being Broke (13:13–19:22)

• Bob’s Ruby Tuesday story (13:20–15:44): Saving tips as a young adult, and recounting when a manager guilted him out of his own Christmas savings.
  • “He was like, ‘I would like for you to give me your money.’” – Bob (15:14)
  • “That’s crazy.” – Monét (15:22)
• Sandy, his shrewd manager:
  • Pretended to be a lesbian because “people respect lesbians more than straight women” (16:13).
  • Used clever psychological tricks to keep staff motivated.

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4. Queerness, Pregnancy, and Kinks (22:00–26:08)

• Viral Pregnancy Challenge: Monét explains the watermelon saran wrap TikTok trend, then both discuss uncomfortable parts of pregnancy and the limitations of men understanding it (22:00–22:40).
• Conversation derails into rosebud porn, fisting, and praise v. shame kinks, with Bob gently teasing Monet for her “Fist of Glory” special (23:06–26:08).
• Zero shame, plenty of TMI.

Notable Quotes

• “You have a praise kink.” – Bob (25:46)
• “Yeah, I love being praised.” – Monét (25:48)

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5. Upper Class vs. Working Class; Home Life, Privilege, and Laundry (29:24–32:01, 58:43–59:03)

• Owning vs. renting in NYC:
  • Monét insists, “Everyone I know owns a home.” Bob calls her out for being in “the community of wealthy people” (31:29).
  • The “housekeeper” debate resurfaces; Bob is unbothered—he doesn’t wash his own sheets (58:51).

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6. Drag Culture & NYC Nightlife (49:26–58:08)

• Stories of iconic queens (Ari Kiki, Jasmine Rice), and wild bar antics.
• Proposed live podcast with NYC queens and nightlife legends (50:04–50:14).
• Bob’s TV struggles: recounts wig-related mishaps shooting “Lucifer" and "The Coco Fondue Show" (53:30–55:27).
• On-set makeup disasters, especially period-piece makeup for “Lovecraft Country” (56:50–57:23).

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7. Etiquette Showdown (37:21–44:32)

• Brief, hilarious etiquette quiz:
  • Table settings, napkin protocol, passing salt & pepper, and butler responsibilities (39:00–44:32).
  • Light roasting: “You know how to set it, but I know how to use it!” – Bob

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8. Surviving in New York (46:43–48:12)

• Mayoral politics—wild stories from the NYC political scene.
• Harsh realities of growing up “hood” in NYC:
  • “I would rather walk through the Bronx at 3am with a suit made of $100 bills than ride the train at 3:15.” – Bob (47:13)
  • The hosts recall tough schooling and the unique “terror” of NYC children after the bell.

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Memorable Quotes & Moments (with Timestamps)

• “I don’t want to live in that world.” – Bob, on surviving a zombie apocalypse (06:04, 08:25)
• “You won’t shut the fuck up—that’s why you’ll die in A Quiet Place.” – Monet, ribbing Bob (10:45)
• “In a world where there’s a class system, I’m making it to the top.” – Bob (11:23)
• “That’s crazy—my manager guilted me out of my own money.” – Bob (15:14)
• “Everyone I know owns a home.” – Monet (31:29)
  “That’s because you’re in the community of wealthy people.” – Bob (31:29)
• “I don’t wash my own sheets.” – Bob, outing himself on privilege (58:51)

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Noteworthy Segments

• 00:41–06:12 – Guns, survivalism, bug-out bags, and Bob’s refusal to live post-apocalypse.
• 07:27–08:58 – Zombie/doomsday movie hypotheticals: who survives and who gives up.
• 13:20–15:44 – Bob’s Ruby Tuesday money story.
• 25:42–26:08 – Praise kink vs. shame kink conversation.
• 31:00–32:01 – Social class, home ownership in NYC.
• 37:21–44:32 – The etiquette quiz.
• 47:02–47:58 – NYC children and urban coming-of-age terror.
• 53:30–55:27 – Drag makeup/wig mishaps on set.

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Tone and Language

The episode is raucous, unfiltered, and brilliantly self-aware. Bob and Monét blend personal revelation and shade, swinging between jokes and sharp cultural commentary, never missing a chance for a comedic punchline. There’s irreverence, plenty of drag queen sass, and occasional veers into explicit territory (“rosebud porn”). Yet, the warmth in their chemistry always anchors the chaos.

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Summary

This episode of Sibling Rivalry is a chaotic, laugh-filled journey from doomsday prepping to etiquette quizzes, all viewed through the campy lens of two of drag’s brightest minds. Bob and Monét riff on survival, privilege, drag culture, and even their own IKEA assembling habits. Fans tuning in for the laughs will get that in spades, but the episode’s true spirit is in its blend of realness, vulnerability, and razor-sharp wit.

If you want to understand why Sibling Rivalry is so beloved in the drag and podcast communities, this is a textbook episode: unfiltered, funny, and always fiercely real.

Transcript

[Bob the Drag Queen]

My name is bob the drag queen.

[Monet X Change]

And I'm monet x change.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

And this is sibling rivalry.

[Monet X Change]

On this week's episode, Bob dies in the zombie apocalypse.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

We arrest New York City children.

[Monet X Change]

And we find out what made Bob say this.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I don't want to live in that world.

[Shannon Maldonado]

World.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

And we found out what made Monae say this.

[Monet X Change]

How do you think she feels? So we're talking about guns.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

And can you give some context?

[Monet X Change]

Patty was. I mean, you were asking. You were asking Taylor if he could take a gun apart right now.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Yeah. And he said yes. No, he said. He said, I know. He said, I know how to use a gun. I said, could you remove the clip from a gun?

[Monet X Change]

He was like, easily.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

He's like, with ease.

[Monet X Change]

And you've never. You've never held a gun before?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I've never held a real gun in my life.

[Monet X Change]

I have, so. And I went to a gun range here in L. A. We went to a gun range. But when I was doing Death Drop in the UK and we had an actual, Actual, like, the weight was a revolver. The one with a long barrel.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

A revolver. The one that goes.

[Monet X Change]

Yeah, it was that. And then the scene, my. My character goes crazy at the end, and she's a really a bad guy. And then. So in one of the days, I was like, really. In the scene, I was, like, really liking the things. I took the gun and I was

[Bob the Drag Queen]

like, why do you think, Crazy bitch?

[Monet X Change]

And I just start bleeding, blood pouring down my face.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Well, because my head. That's why. They thought you were crazy.

[Monet X Change]

I had my hat on and I was like, my head feels weird. And then I was, like, doing a scene and someone goes, oh, my God. And I was like, what? And like, girl, I touched my head and blood was screaming on my face. I don't think Patty was in rehearsal, but we. He had to come get. Or whatever it was. It was crazy.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I really went wild during the Madonna tour. I had those very long twin.

[Monet X Change]

When you're the clown.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Yes. And they are. They are like. They are basically real guns minus one or two things. And they're so realistic that you actually can't travel internationally with them. So if you saw me in Europe, I had these 3D printed guns with wood on the end. And if you saw me in America, I had these like. Like, basically real guns.

[Monet X Change]

Well, New York City has a gun law. If you.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

If you can't paint any, you can't make a fake gun look real or real gun look fake.

[Monet X Change]

Right. So that's why you said a lot of fake Guns or ones that's supposed to be realistic, they have the whole thing. But the tip would be like an orange thing on the tip.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

But you can't paint that orange tip black. That's illegal.

[Shannon Maldonado]

Right.

[Monet X Change]

So is it only New York that has this, this law?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I don't know.

[Monet X Change]

I just know because I live there.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I don't think Texas has any gun law. They're like, you can any age, any height, anything, any gun. You want a rocket launcher, have one. Kindergartner wants a grenade, have one.

[Monet X Change]

Well, you know, that's what he said. Those pictures of those like families who like, you know, they hunt and stuff and they have like just a fucking artillery of like 50 guns. Like, what the fuck do you need 50 guns for?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

You want a gun?

[Monet X Change]

I would. Well, that's cause everyone around me has a gun.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

So like, I feel like when I mentioned that every one of your neighbor has a gun, you act like I was crazy.

[Monet X Change]

No, but I've said it before.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I was like, bitch, you live. I was like, all your neighbors have guns. And you were like, but I've said that before. But when I said you, like I was crazy.

[Monet X Change]

No, I didn't. I said the people on either side of me and across the street, they all have guns. When we had that person.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

So you trying to get guns to protect yourself from them?

[Monet X Change]

No, but like, I'm like, if shit goes down, Annie and I just, just everybody got guns. We just sitting there looking like, yeah,

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I don't think more guns is, is going to make it, but I think, I don't think that if everyone having a gun is going to make the situation better.

[Monet X Change]

Well, I, I would feel safer if everyone around me has a gun to me and shit goes down me. And he's sitting there like, guys, we're sorry.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Can I just say, I think that's a really bad take. And I think that that's based out there being like, a good guy with a gun can stop a bad guy with a gun. That's like saying, give the teachers guns. Every teacher just needs a gun.

[Monet X Change]

To be very clear, I think we should get rid of. I think everyone should get rid of their guns. We're in a world where they're going to have the wrong bitch. What?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I just don't think that the ends like, so if, if the people. Do you trust your neighbors on both sides?

[Monet X Change]

Yeah, yeah.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I mean, the one across the street,

[Monet X Change]

I trust the one on one side across the street, the other one on the other side. I don't not trust them. But I'M in community and I chat with the other ones.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

So they've probably had guns longer than you.

[Monet X Change]

Yeah, for sure.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

They probably know what they're doing. So what is your. No shade. Let me just. What's your inexperienced ass gonna do with this gun? Like these two. They have this gun. They probably have taken gun safety courses. And you're just sitting here, you're like, now I just got one. Yeah, you think?

[Monet X Change]

No, I want to. I want to go to a thing to learn how to shoot it and do. Cause I.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

They have more experience than you.

[Monet X Change]

Yeah, but it's saying. But I would still like to go and get the experience of like going to a gun range. Know how to shoot, know how to load all the things. I wouldn't just. I wouldn't just go to the store and get a gun and come home and put them like, okay, I have a gun now. No, sure.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

But I just don't think everyone having a gun is gonna make it better. Just be like, well, now I got a gun too.

[Monet X Change]

I don't think it makes anything better. It will make me feel better, but

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I don't think it's actually gonna make you safer though.

[Monet X Change]

I didn't say safer. I said feel better. You know what? My feeling is very valid here.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

More importantly, your safety.

[Monet X Change]

Yeah, my feeling. I need to feel safe.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

But you have to be safe too.

[Monet X Change]

But in what world am I gonna be having to shoot out with my neighbors girls?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

2025, bitch. We about to have the civil war. Are you ready for the civil War?

[Monet X Change]

You know, Andy is really on this. He wants to start a bug out bag, which I think is a bug out bag. Yeah. So like in case, whatever happens we. The grid is crushed and there's a biochemical.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Whatever.

[Monet X Change]

We have a bug out bag.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Okay.

[Monet X Change]

With enough meals.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Thank you. So you gotta say what the. You keep saying bug out bag.

[Monet X Change]

Yeah. So it has like, you know, solar chargers, enough meals for a year. Like all stuff. This is the contest a comprehension bug out porter. So some things that a bug out. A bug out bag should have. Portable water filtration system, collapsible water bottle, portable stove, a fire starter, waterproof mattress, multi utensil, like a spork.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I don't want to live like that.

[Monet X Change]

I mean, in a world like if shit goes down. Sunscreen, N95 masks. Remember when the N95 masks were really kind?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I have. So you and Jacob and Camion took all of mine. No, we did not.

[Monet X Change]

Yes, when you. When it was. When it was the smoke thing. When it was the fires in LA in January. Y' all stayed at my place. I'll tell you to get to get in the drag garage. Y' all cleared me out. Y' all cleared me out of my N95 mask.

[Jacob]

And we do it again.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I was like, yeah, just go in

[Monet X Change]

the garage and get the N95 mask. I came back, the box was sitting

[Bob the Drag Queen]

on the thing empty.

[Jacob]

Do you want us to Venmo you $5 to $5?

[Monet X Change]

Honey, those are black and 95 masks. I need $25.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

You're never getting the money back. You're never gonna get that money back.

[Monet X Change]

I will take $25 worth of in here.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I dare you.

[Monet X Change]

I will.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I dare you.

[Monet X Change]

I still got that pillow at my house.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I dare you.

[Monet X Change]

Still got the pillow and you.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

And how. What was that time you looked around your house? You don't even know what I have from your house.

[Monet X Change]

You have nothing of mine.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

You have no clue.

[Monet X Change]

Except those dresses that you stole.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I don't know what those dusty, crusty, raggedy ass dresses.

[Monet X Change]

What is a condensed soap?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I'm assuming it is. Wait, wait. I'm assuming it's like concentrated soap. Maybe, or maybe like, it's like. It's like a bar of soap, but they smush it down so it lasts longer. I'm assuming

[Monet X Change]

condensed soap.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Yes. Like concentrated soap, I reckon.

[Monet X Change]

Huh. Interesting.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I don't. I don't want to live this way. I got to be honest. Like, if there's a zombie apocalypse, I'm done. I'm not fighting. I'm not gonna try to live through it. I'm. If the Titanic is going down, I'm just jumping in the water.

[Monet X Change]

So in fight or flight, you're neither.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Neither.

[Monet X Change]

You're die.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

It depends on what it is. If it's like, let's say I'm in a school shooter situation, I'm gonna run for safety. But if, like, the world, it's like, this is life now, maybe, okay, maybe Titanic. I'm like, I would try to live through Titanic. I'm like, I could probably get on the other side of this. But if, like, the grid is shut down and for the next 40 years, we're all living in some weird dystopian future, I don't want to live in that world.

[Monet X Change]

I think. I don't think anyone wants to live like that. But the fact of the matter is, it will be your reality.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

No, but I will choose to just die.

[Monet X Change]

Yes, I think he was saying that. I think if so. So you would just stay in your house, let the zombies Come and eat you and just, just, just go.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Oh, if there are zombies, when I tell you, I wouldn't even run.

[Monet X Change]

And do you know what would you. What you would need?

[Jacob]

What?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

No, I wouldn't, girl, eat me. I'm not fighting zombies.

[Monet X Change]

I'm fighting for my life.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I'm not. Because what do you, what do you. Here's the thing. Let's say you fight for three years.

[Monet X Change]

That's. I get three more years of life.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Three years of struggle.

[Monet X Change]

So that is part of the human condition. We're all struggling a little bit.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Not like that. I know, but that's a whole different form of struggle.

[Monet X Change]

Human condition, girl.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

No, I can't, I can't. Yo, I can't, I can't. It's the idea of it is stressing me out so much. Think about fudgeing, girl. What's that movie with Will Smith?

[Monet X Change]

I am. I am Legend, baby.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I can't live like that.

[Monet X Change]

I mean, that was a crazy.

[Jacob]

What about Mad Max?

[Monet X Change]

What's Mad Max?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

No, I don't want to live like that.

[Monet X Change]

Charlize Theron and the.

[Jacob]

The desert.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

No, I can't live like that.

[Monet X Change]

What about 28 days? Not, not 28. The one with Jake Gyllenhaal when they had that crazy storm in Manhattan.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

None of these.

[Jacob]

A snowpiercer. You're all in a giant train. And each train car is a different class. So the poor people in the back and then all the rich people and you have to work your way up.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I have to work my way up. Oh, I can use my influence.

[Jacob]

Everyone in humanity is on this one trip.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Oh, baby, I'll be the mayor by the end.

[Monet X Change]

Oh, the day after tomorrow when it's like that big cyclone comes and it like freezes Manhattan.

[Jacob]

Yeah.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Can we. Is there a way to get off Manhattan then eventually get to some place nice? Or is this just life? Or is this just life? Now I don't remember how the movie. No, no, no, no, no.

[Monet X Change]

It eventually it will melt. It's a freak weather accident.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

How long is it going to be like this?

[Monet X Change]

I mean, water. I would say, let's say five years.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Like, let's think about the movie with. With. With Lupita and Yong'.

[Monet X Change]

Oh, the quiet place.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

It's a rap.

[Monet X Change]

I know you gotta be.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I can't. I don't. I can't. Because this is what I take me to. This is forever.

[Shannon Maldonado]

Okay.

[Monet X Change]

No, no, no, it's not over.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

What?

[Jacob]

Bird box. You just gotta wear a blindfold.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Oh, I could do. I could. I could do the blindfold. I could not look.

[Monet X Change]

You definitely couldn't. Do a quiet place. You won't shut the up.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I don't want to do a quiet place.

[Monet X Change]

You're dying immediately.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I'm gon up there singing, baby, where the hell is my husband?

[Monet X Change]

I'm go down.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Sing a song I like. I would like a ring. I would like a ring. I would like a different ring on my. And have them come and get me because it's.

[Monet X Change]

Well, go do it over there. Go do it outside. Don't do it in here.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Don't tell me where I can see.

[Monet X Change]

No, cuz you. You to kill. Kill all of us in here. Cuz you can't shut the up. That's crazy. So now we're all collateral damage? Cuz you can't shut the up.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

You should have been around me.

[Monet X Change]

That's crazy. I know.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I can't. Monet, you would live like that?

[Shannon Maldonado]

Okay.

[Jacob]

Hunger Games.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I would thrive because I would.

[Jacob]

Y'.

[Shannon Maldonado]

All.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I'm telling you right now, in a world where there's like a. Like a class system, I'm making it to the top. But if it's a world where, like, everyone has to be quiet and you just gotta shut the fuck up and, like, the alien's gonna kill you, I'm not gonna make it. But if there's a way to gain influence and become live in the Capitol. I'm gonna become the host of the show. Primrose Everdeen. I will become that guy.

[Monet X Change]

That's crazy.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Easy.

[Monet X Change]

No, not your black ass.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Oh, easy.

[Monet X Change]

Nobody in the capital. That was black.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Lenny Kravitz.

[Monet X Change]

I didn't. I don't remember the movie, obviously. What was he, the man?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

He was the designer.

[Jacob]

He was her stylist.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

He was her stylist.

[Monet X Change]

Got it.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

So there were black people in the Capitol.

[Monet X Change]

So Rob would do it. Taylor would be there. Not you.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

No, I would certainly be able. Let me tell right now. I. I wouldn't necessarily be colorblind.

[Monet X Change]

There are color styling.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

There are colorblind stylists.

[Monet X Change]

Not in the Capitol.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

You don't know.

[Ad/Announcer]

You don't even remember.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

There are black people. So now you. Now you know. Everyone's.

[Jacob]

We're. We're going to do the Hunger Games District generator and find out where you are.

[Monet X Change]

Okay, but this is Bob's district.

[Jacob]

Bob, you are in District 11 agriculture.

[Monet X Change]

You don't even like.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Oh, easy.

[Jacob]

That's second to last.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Oh, but, but, but listen. But, but in this place, I'm going to be that girl. I. I'm I'm probably farming, like, you know.

[Jacob]

You know, rude.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

The little girl.

[Jacob]

Wait, what.

[Ad/Announcer]

What.

[Jacob]

What am I? You know, the little girl who dies and she's from District 11.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Okay. I could be in that.

[Monet X Change]

What district am I?

[Jacob]

Our District four. Fishing od, honey.

[Monet X Change]

Fish. Your girl is fish, honey?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Yes. District four.

[Monet X Change]

That's good, right?

[Jacob]

Yeah. That's where f. You know, the guy with the spear. Oh, yeah. He's from District 4.

[Monet X Change]

It's nice in District 4 over here.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I'm going to taste that happening one time when I was younger.

[Monet X Change]

What?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

And I want to tell. Tell me how you would react to this.

[Monet X Change]

Uhhuh.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

When do I have time. Do I have time for the break for tether story?

[Jacob]

You got three minutes, but you take a break in the middle of the story.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I. When I was younger, like 19 or 18 years old, I worked at Ruby

[Monet X Change]

Tuesday 30 years ago.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Not 30 years ago.

[Jacob]

How many years ago?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

20 something. No, 18. I was. It was 21 years ago, actually.

[Jacob]

Damn.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

21 years ago, I worked at Ruby Tuesday in Columbus, Georgia. And I've always been good at. I'm sure right now, y', all, no matter what point in my life, I've always been very good at saving money. Always been good at saving money. So my rent was like 200amonth to live in this guest house.

[Monet X Change]

Oh, wow.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

And I would make that in, like, two shifts every Tuesday, maybe three maybe. And I would do this thing during Christmas where I would take, like, 50% of my pay and I would put it in this thermos, and I would hide the thermos in the manager's office, and the manager knew I was hiding in there. I was 18, okay? So I would sit down with the manager at the end of the shift, and I'd be like, oh, my God, I'm saving. I was like, you know, I always give too much information away. I'm like, I'm saving my money. So I'm like. I'm like, put this in there. And I was like, we're hiding this cup. Me and my manager are hiding my. My money cup. I ended up saving, like, 600, 700 bucks. And I'm ready to, like, go turn it out for Christmas, baby. The day before, like, maybe a few days before Christmas, I'm checking out with my manager. My manager's holding my thermos with all of my money in it, like, holding my Ruby Tuesday thermos. And he's like, hey, you know, I have kids, and, you know, Christmas is real tough and funds are low, and, you know, my Wife works here and I can't afford gifts for my kids. And you're 18 years old, you're a college student. But he's like holding my money.

[Monet X Change]

That's crazy.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

And he's my boss and he's like, I would like for you to give me your money.

[Monet X Change]

That's crazy.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

And I was like, well. He was like, well, do you need it? I was like, no, I don't need it. But I remember thinking, it is my money. But I've also never been super greedy. And I gave him my money. And I was even with it. Today on the way to work, I was telling Jake while I was like, I gave that man my fucking money. And like, I want my money back now.

[Monet X Change]

You want the money back?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Yes, I want my money back.

[Monet X Change]

Is this man still alive?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Probably. I mean, he was probably at the time maybe like he was younger than I am now. He's probably either late 20s or maybe early 30s. And this is 21 years ago. So he's probably in his 50s or maybe 60s now.

[Monet X Change]

What's his name? Ask him.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I don't remember his name. I only remember one of my manager's names. Her name was Sandy. And Sandy was. Was that Sandy? Sandy was honestly a really smart lady. We all thought Sandy was a lesbian because she let us. Cuz she. No, she let us believe she was a lesbian cuz she said people. She said in the workspace, people respect lesbians more than they respect straight women. So she just let us leave.

[Monet X Change]

I think that's very true.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

So she was like. She was like, I don't care.

[Monet X Change]

She goes.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

And then she also. I'll tell you more about Sandy when we get back. Cuz Sandy was kind of a brilliant manager.

[Ad/Announcer]

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[Monet X Change]

Close your eyes.

[Jacob]

Exhale.

[Monet X Change]

Feel your body relax. And let go of whatever you're carrying today.

[Ad/Announcer]

Well, I'm letting go of the worry that I wouldn't get my new contacts in time for this class. I got them delivered free from 1-800-contacts. Oh my gosh. They're so fast.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

And breathe.

[Ad/Announcer]

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[Monet X Change]

1-800-contacts.

[Shannon Maldonado]

My name is Shannon Maldonado. I'm the founder of Yaoi, a gift shop from the lens of artists and handmade objects. I chose Shopify because when I was testing other platforms, it was definitely one of the most user friendly. It was important to me to think about where we would be in the future. All of the tools for reading your sales, like planning inventory, they're just right there on your dashboard board. For anyone starting a small business, the biggest thing I can tell you, it doesn't have to be perfect. Shopify can help you build upon it. Start your free trial on shopify.com and

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I do want you guys to know if you would like to not experience that ad you just experienced. You don't have to. You can join our Patreon. You will never, ever get an ad.

[Monet X Change]

Yeah.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Not even once.

[Monet X Change]

Yeah. Wait. Back to what you said about the lesbians and straight people. Women, I agree, I definitely respect. But I think it's because they're queer and I'm queer. I don't think. No, I think. I think straight people respect lesbians more than straight women, too.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

It's because they're.

[Jacob]

This.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Because of their masculinity.

[Monet X Change]

Yeah.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

So Sandy would dress. Sandy would. This one thought she was lesbian. First of all, Sandy only wore men's clothing. Santa was also about 5 11. She had bangs, long blonde hair, but it was kind of a little fried.

[Monet X Change]

Damn.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

She never wore makeup. She had a pretty deep voice. And she literally only wore men's clothes, never wore women's clothes ever. So when Sandy's husband and children showed up, we were like, who the fuck is this? This your brother and his kids.

[Monet X Change]

This is at Ruby Tuesday.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Yeah. And she. This is my husband. And she put me to the back. She was like, I'm not. I'm not actually gay.

[Jacob]

She was.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I just let everyone think I'm gay because they respect me more. They think I'm a lesbian.

[Monet X Change]

Wow. And you were out of this sign. So she, like, confided in you?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Jacob]

She.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Yeah, she confided that she was straight?

[Monet X Change]

Yeah. To you?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Yes.

[Monet X Change]

But she didn't.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

She went into. She went.

[Monet X Change]

And in opposite, like.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Yeah, she went in the closet. I don't even know how to Say it.

[Monet X Change]

Interesting.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

And then she, she also did this thing where she would be like, she's kind of a manipulative manager, but she actually was really smart. She would this thing where she would call and she'd be like, I'm coming to shoot the general manager. I'm coming to the restaurant. She called the manager, but I'm coming to the restaurant. So anyone who works restaurant knows when the manager comes, everyone kind of just straightens up. You just, you just do more.

[Monet X Change]

Yeah.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

She would never come.

[Monet X Change]

Oh, I mean, it's not smart. It's just.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I mean, it's kind of brilliant. I'm headed over. Or she would, or she would pop up and you wouldn't expect her to be there. So then you start trading up and then she would sneak out and she wouldn't. You would never know she left. So you would still think she was there. So she'd be like, I'm gonna go to the office and like watch the. And like do some work and watch on the cameras. And you would think she'd be there for like an extra four hours before you realize she has been gone for like three, four hours.

[Monet X Change]

When you had a regular job and you had to. And you had your day off, if your manager called you come in, would you go? Would you go in?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Yeah. Yeah, for sure.

[Monet X Change]

Like every time.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I mean, in college. Yeah. Cause I wanted money. So if I was a waiter, I. Baby, I picked up every shift. If anyone had an opportunity, if there was an opportunity for me to make some extra money as a waiter, I was the one. I was like, always call me.

[Monet X Change]

Oh yeah. I would always go in.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Always. I promise you. I, I mean, I didn't get priority because when I worked Ruby Tuesday, I work with like a lot of pregnant women. Like a lot. I remember on, on Sunday specifically, I was the only person working besides the bartender who wasn't pregnant. Front of house.

[Jacob]

How pregnant?

[Monet X Change]

Yeah, like, like belly out here pregnant.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

So.

[Monet X Change]

Oh, you just knew they were pregnant.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

There was a girl named Thereisha. Thereisha was the host and she was not showing pregnant. There was Nikki, whose birthday is 9 11. I remember that specifically. And she was like the most pregnant. Like, she was like. I remember her carrying these two big buckets of ice with this gigantic belly. She was like a hardcore like Christian. No, just like a dark haired, red, necky, like, but not like a racist redneck. Kind of like one of those, like one of those southern white women who's like a wigger. No, no, I can't. I'm trying to describe It. She's like. She wasn't like, get off my porch. But she was just like one of those mama bear types.

[Monet X Change]

Mama, that's a lady from Thomas and Tiaras.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

No, mama bear is like, she just like, if you touch her daughter, she will beat you up.

[Monet X Change]

Got it.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Like, she would. Like, I could tell that if she.

[Monet X Change]

Oh, the lady from the blind side.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

If she got into a physical altercation with another white mom, she would beat her ass.

[Monet X Change]

Have you seen the. Have you seen the.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

And then there was a woman who was about five months pregnant. So it was me and three pregnant women.

[Monet X Change]

Have you seen the pregnant challenge on TikTok?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

The pregnant challenge?

[Monet X Change]

Well, not pregnant challenge. I guess it's a challenge. What it is is guys married to women who are having children, they take a watermelon. Like, because when the women are like their last month or whatever is. They take a watermelon, you saran wrap it to your belly and you have to like, go through your day to see how it feels to be pregnant. I'm like, it, I guess. Yeah. That seems like she's like all the little things you think that you can do, like just bending down to pick up a thing on the floor, sleeping, whatever. It's all really hard. We should do it.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

That's also. I mean, I'm obviously never been pregnant, but I would imagine the bulk of the belly is probably the least of the uncomfortable things about being.

[Monet X Change]

Yeah, yeah. But it is a.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

It is a do that. And then you also have to take medicine to make you nauseous in the morning. And you also have to, like, I don't know, get. Apparently there's like, asshole pain sometime.

[Monet X Change]

Really?

[Shannon Maldonado]

From.

[Monet X Change]

From shitting?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

No, like, your asshole just starts. Like, your asshole just starts hurting. Like, apparently if you're pregnant, out of nowhere, your asshole just like, whoa.

[Monet X Change]

So the other day I was on Twitter and I stumbled onto Rosebud porn. Have you seen rosebud porn?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Yeah, of course.

[Monet X Change]

Yeah.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Glad we had this chat.

[Monet X Change]

It's so like.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

But you're the one who's like, but you're the one who's into fisting.

[Monet X Change]

I'm not. I'm not into fisting.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

You have a whole fucking special called Fist of Glory.

[Monet X Change]

Yeah, but I'm not into fist.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

You were like, pow.

[Monet X Change]

I talked about it one time I fisted a guy.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

You were into fisting it with zeal and vigor. You weren't like, I was grossed out. You were like, I was like, I

[Monet X Change]

was not grossed out by it. But that's different than rosebud porn. Rosebud porn. Like, a lot of the asshole is just out of the body. And it's like, the one I saw,

[Bob the Drag Queen]

it was like a good, like.

[Monet X Change]

Like five inches. I'm like, how do you get it back in?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

You just got to shove it back in.

[Monet X Change]

Have you done this to someone before?

[Jacob]

No.

[Monet X Change]

No.

[Shannon Maldonado]

No.

[Monet X Change]

Have you. Have you ever engaged in this at all?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

No.

[Monet X Change]

Do you like rosebud porn?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

No, not really.

[Monet X Change]

No. Have you actually?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

No, not at all.

[Monet X Change]

So you've never jerked off to it?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

No.

[Monet X Change]

Would you?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Probably not. No. There's. There's this. There is this thing, and I'm trying to remember what the. What the name of it is, but there is a sexual. Oh, sorry.

[Monet X Change]

I said it to say, because sometimes I think pregnant women get from, like, using the bathroom and trying to, like, get it out, they can give themselves, like, little rosebuds.

[Jacob]

Got it.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Like, okay, got it.

[Monet X Change]

Yeah.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

So there is a. A thing where people are attracted to innards.

[Monet X Change]

Like, into, like, the rose. Like, seeing the innards. Is it seeing the innards out?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Yes. Or just seeing the interns at all? I mean, the only way you can see them if they're out.

[Monet X Change]

Yeah. Or.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Or if you cut someone open.

[Monet X Change]

Yeah.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

So this can also had that kink. There we go. You're okay. You're picking up. So Jeffrey Dahmer, like, the wetness and the gooeyness of intestines, stomachs. I think that there. I'm not saying to anyone in that community. I'm not saying that you are Jeffrey Tom, serial killer. But what I'm saying is there's something there. And I'm not a king. I would never. King shame. I would say no King shaming. Unless your kink is shaming. King shaming. Exactly. Yeah.

[Monet X Change]

Is that someone's. Kings of shame Kings.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

That's a bit Monet. Oh, but. But I mean, in this.

[Monet X Change]

In the world.

[Jacob]

No.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Shame is shaming people isn't.

[Monet X Change]

I know shame, but is. Is kink shaming a kink? Like, specifically? I'm sure there is. To someone.

[Jacob]

Yeah. I mean, it's a part of the shame. Kink. Yeah.

[Monet X Change]

Got it.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Like you shame someone. I mean, do you think you'd be more interested in shaming someone or being shamed? I would.

[Monet X Change]

It depends.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

You dirty little slut. Does that do anything for you?

[Monet X Change]

No, but if I'm not.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

You were a dirty little slut saying that. Would that do anything for you?

[Monet X Change]

No.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Oh, well, then maybe you're not into it.

[Monet X Change]

But if I'm sucking your dick, I don't want you to shame me. I want you to, like.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I want to hear.

[Monet X Change]

But I guess that's not shaming, then, because I want to hear, like, bitch, you fucking sucking that dick.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

You have a praise kink.

[Monet X Change]

Oh, yeah. I love being praised.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

You like to be praised for.

[Monet X Change]

Not really.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

For doing a good job.

[Monet X Change]

Specifically for sex. Well, like, for example, like, when.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Yes.

[Monet X Change]

Monet.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I don't think the praise king goes into, like, wow, you really built that shelf.

[Monet X Change]

It can.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Maybe you cook them protein chips. It can for someone. Yeah, it can. But we're talking about. I'm talking about sex.

[Monet X Change]

Okay. Yeah. But. Yeah.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Wow, baby, you really assembled that IKEA furniture.

[Monet X Change]

I'm sure. So that's really hot to someone. When was the last time you assembled an IKEA furniture? My lamp. I brought in my last apartment.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

The last time I assembled something from IKEA was probably a month and a. Maybe a month ago. A month and a half ago.

[Jacob]

I've been really good at anything you can do.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Me and Tao assembled a.

[Monet X Change]

So Tao did it.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

No, we did it together.

[Monet X Change]

Tao did. Tao did you. Tao, who did it? You were. Bob.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

We did it together.

[Monet X Change]

He said just.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

He did not say that. We assembled. And then we also assembled something that wasn't from ikea, but it was like this shoe. This shoe rack.

[Monet X Change]

Yeah. I will wait till I get a bunch of those, and I'll call a taskrabbit.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I will say there is one dresser in our closet, and it's the first thing we got from IKEA to assemble. And then we went back and got other stuff, and we've assembled everything except this one dress that's just been sitting in the closet.

[Jacob]

Why haven't you assembled it?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I honestly don't know why. I think it's because it's in the closet, and the other ones were, like, in the middle of the floor. It's like, well, we got to put this together. But the other one's, like, you know, out of sight, out of mind.

[Monet X Change]

Right.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Outside of mine is very much a thing.

[Monet X Change]

So where are you putting the clothes that you brought the dresser for?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

On hangers on the. In the closet.

[Monet X Change]

Got it. So the box is just in the closet.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

The whole dresser is in three boxes in the closet.

[Ad/Announcer]

Right.

[Monet X Change]

Just sit in the closet. How big is this closet?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

It's not very big. It's like a small coat closet.

[Monet X Change]

We also have 18 places to put your clothes.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Do you not have 18 places?

[Monet X Change]

One, two, three. Three. That's a lot of places for clothes.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

It's a lot. It's. You're 15 off what? 15 off from 18? 15 off.

[Monet X Change]

I'm 18. What?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

You said 18 places.

[Monet X Change]

Oh, got it. Hilarious. Anyway, so that wasn't me being.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

You're the one trying to make the joke. You got 18 places to put your clothes.

[Monet X Change]

It wasn't the joke. It's a statement saying that you have a lot of places, a lot of. You have a lot of places for clothes and you're placing. Well, no such place anymore. Never mind.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

You mean my home that burned down in Atlanta, Georgia? Is that. Is that what you were about to say? Were you about to say and your burnt up crispy home in Atlanta, Georgia? Is that what you better say?

[Monet X Change]

Your cooked home in Atlanta, Georgia.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

That's crazy.

[Monet X Change]

The fried.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

What were you. What were you about to reference to that isn't there anymore? What, what was this place?

[Monet X Change]

I was gonna say your place in New York, but you don't have a place yet when you do the show.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Oh, no, I don't live in New York.

[Monet X Change]

Well, you will be for two months.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

How long you gotta be somewhere for you to live there? Did I live in Berkeley?

[Monet X Change]

No. You were there for what, six months?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Six months.

[Monet X Change]

That's not living there, I don't think.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

What's living there. I've been in New York City for three months.

[Monet X Change]

I would say a year.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

One year. Is living somewhere.

[Monet X Change]

I think. So when you're like, you're like, yeah, I live here now. Like, you, like, know, like you have, like, all your places you go to. To get food to doctors, dentists.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

In. In Berkeley for six months. You think I went to the doctor for six months? No, I certainly went to the doctor, which I had to get.

[Monet X Change]

To get to get checked out.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I had a whole vocal thing.

[Monet X Change]

That was. That was when you were in Berkeley?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Oh, yeah, yeah. I went to the doctor, like, several times.

[Monet X Change]

But did you go to the dentist there? Did you, did you.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I did get my teeth clean, yes. Okay. How often do you get your teeth clean?

[Monet X Change]

I go every three months.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Yeah, I got my teeth clean. I was there for six months, Monet.

[Monet X Change]

But that's not normal. Normally you go twice a year. I go every three months. That's not a normal thing to do every three months.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I also, I ate. I had places to eat there too. I ate almost every day, if you can believe it. I didn't go back to New York to grab my food.

[Monet X Change]

We can open it. Would you ever want to live in Berkeley again? That's too cold. People messing me like, girl, oh, it's so chilly up here in sf. I'm like, no, it was not.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I lived in New York City. It was not that cold. It was colder than you would expect it to be because of California. But, girl, I lived in New York City for 12 years. I lived in New York City on the coldest winter in 100 years.

[Monet X Change]

Which one was that?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

2012, I want to say. Or maybe that was. I lived in the. Like, was it 2012?

[Monet X Change]

No, the coldest one to ever was in 1970.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

No, I said in 100 years. I didn't say ever.

[Monet X Change]

Well, that would be 100 years. 2012 to 1917 will be 2017. So it would be 100 years.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Wait, what was the coldest one?

[Jacob]

I'm looking.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

But anyway, I lived there. Or maybe the greatest snowfall. It was either the most amount of snow or the coldest. But, yeah, it was like. It was so.

[Monet X Change]

I think shoveling snow. I hate shoveling snow. I never want to shovel snow ever again in my life.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

You shoveled snowing?

[Monet X Change]

Oh, you had a house? Yes. I hate that.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Girl, whenever a lot of people from New York City own houses, I'd be like, this is crazy. You know why?

[Monet X Change]

Why?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

And you know why, too. Because most of us in New York City were renting.

[Monet X Change]

Yeah, but.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

But from people like you. But also, y' all didn't live from landlords.

[Monet X Change]

We're born there. Y' all weren't.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

If you were born not. Don't act like most New Yorkers who. Who were born.

[Monet X Change]

I did not say that, but I'm saying the people who. Who own houses there. We were born there. We live there. You know, we're transplants. There are begging to live like us.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

There are people who are born in New York City who cannot afford to.

[Monet X Change]

I'm not saying that, but I'm saying the people. The two people that you know from New York.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

We were more than two people from

[Monet X Change]

New York, you know, born from New York.

[Jacob]

I know a lot.

[Monet X Change]

I'm asking you.

[Jacob]

I know.

[Monet X Change]

I'm asking you who.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Wait. Beep, bitch. Move. Do you think that you and Nate are the only two people I know who were born and raised in New York City?

[Monet X Change]

I literally. I'm asking you who else.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I don't have to tell you who.

[Monet X Change]

You know Kameka. She was born, then owned a home.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Well, you were part of the 1%. All your friends are wealthy. It's not part of 1%. Neither. All your friends are wealthy. Also.

[Monet X Change]

The three New Yorkers you know, born their own homes.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Monat. That's because you're in the community of wealthy people. Shut the fuck up. Obviously, so anyway, Monet's like, everyone I know. How does it. Do you hear how that sounds?

[Monet X Change]

Are you who?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Everyone I know owns a home.

[Monet X Change]

So who else? Which New Yorkers do you know?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

That was like. That was. This is like when they was like, everyone has a housekeeper.

[Monet X Change]

I started saying Lucia.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

And then I asked you, did your housekeeper have a housekeeper?

[Monet X Change]

You didn't have an answer.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Maybe she did and you didn't have an answer. I said, maybe my name's like everybody has a housekeeper. Are you kidding me? Everyone in your social class has a housekeeper.

[Monet X Change]

When you can tell me other New Yorkers, you know, who were born there, then we can have a discussion. But you Thorgy.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Thorgy and her family owned their home in Long Island. You don't know if they own that home.

[Monet X Change]

Yes, she did on her whole special on fucking the logo channel.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I didn't, I didn't watch it. Let's take a break.

[Monet X Change]

Hey, it's Ryan Reynolds here from Mint Mobile. Now I was looking for fun ways to tell you that Mint's offer of unlimited Premium Wireless for $15 a month is back. So I thought it would be fun if we made $15 bills, but it turns out that's very illegal. So there goes my big idea for the commercial.

[Jacob]

Give it a try.

[Monet X Change]

[e-mail] switch.

[Ad/Announcer]

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[Monet X Change]

Yamasaki.

[Jacob]

She.

[Monet X Change]

I don't know. I don't know her family. I don't know.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Well, she moved there when she was 6, but she's a New Yorker.

[Monet X Change]

I mean, I don't know about you Haas, you know more about U haul than me.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I'm gonna assume she was renting to help my case here.

[Monet X Change]

You know my favorite story about Yuha? You always tell about when she's just laughing at you guys at the same underwear on.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Yeah, it was a really crazy story.

[Monet X Change]

She's a crazy person. I didn't See, I didn't see Slasia Royale. Did she do well on that? I don't know.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I think it's still going on. No, I saw one thing. Spoiler alert. Can you apologize to our guest for spoiler alert?

[Monet X Change]

I guess Juha did ok. She.

[Jacob]

She came in sixth place.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Ok, That's. That's.

[Ad/Announcer]

That's good.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Good for you. Ha.

[Monet X Change]

So who won bridging?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Where's she from?

[Monet X Change]

Brigadier?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Philippines. Mabuhay. Mabuhay.

[Monet X Change]

Yeah. Honestly, missed opportunity to not have Joella on it. Maybe she was too soon, but no, they. Lydia Butthole Collins went right back. They should have had her on there.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Who, Joella? Yeah, I agree.

[Monet X Change]

Don't forget the Ella.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

And I never will forget it.

[Monet X Change]

You know, I'll never forgive her for skipping out on that game night when we. When we were all gonna meet her, and she just. She ditched you. Me and Kim.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I remember.

[Monet X Change]

Wow.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I remember. But then.

[Monet X Change]

Are they doing a Latina Royale one? Oh, wow.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Who do you want to see?

[Monet X Change]

Oh, I want to see. I don't think she'll go back. And Peter. Maybe she will. I'd love to see Valentino on there.

[Jacob]

No, I mean, it's a Drag Race Mexico show, so she wouldn't go from a host of Drag Race Mexico.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Oh, I know. I want to go see there.

[Monet X Change]

I want to see Ginger Minj.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

She's Puerto Rican.

[Monet X Change]

She's what?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

She's Puerto Rican. Are you going to deny Ginger? Okay, I want the least. I want Crystal Method. I want Ginger. Midge. I want Delta work.

[Monet X Change]

No, I think Delta work is very, very, very wrecked.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I'll just be a messy.

[Monet X Change]

Jesus Christ.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Who else can we put on the show?

[Monet X Change]

I want. Oh, Violet Choksky.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Violet Chokki.

[Monet X Change]

That is a stretch.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Bianca D. I mean, Bianca looks very. She looks very Hispanic, but she's not like. She's not like, Hola. You know what I mean? Ooh, sorry. That just really sent me. Ooh. I really took myself pink with that one.

[Monet X Change]

But she's sweating over there.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Ooh, I am cooking. Olivia Lux. Who? Olivia Lux is Latina, apparently.

[Monet X Change]

Oh, wow. Good for her.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Honestly, Violet Chastity would probably go and eat the girlies up.

[Monet X Change]

She would go for sure.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

She was like, hola. Hola, honey.

[Monet X Change]

Violet would.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Violet would.

[Monet X Change]

Obviously. She did very well. She's a great drag.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

She's a drag race winner.

[Monet X Change]

Yeah.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

That's so funny. Honestly, Ginger Minj and Violet Chaska can

[Monet X Change]

make it to the top two again on the Latino Royale.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Would be insane.

[Monet X Change]

When are you going to settle your beef with Ginger Minj, you want to

[Bob the Drag Queen]

invite her on the pod?

[Monet X Change]

I would love if she came on the pod.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Let's invite her on.

[Monet X Change]

Okay.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Open invitation. I don't have beef with Gingerbread. I just like making fun of Bob. I just like making fun of her. I like making fun of people. For the past year, I just love making fun of people. There are certain people I make fun of it who are, like, cool with it, and I don't think she's cool with it.

[Monet X Change]

And how do you think she feels?

[Jacob]

I don't know.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

We could ask her.

[Monet X Change]

I don't think she'll come on the show.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

By the way, I make fun of Mistress all the time. She's cool with it.

[Monet X Change]

Yeah, but you. Mistress. That's Mistress Vibe with everyone. Ginger Midges is living her life trying to do a little hocus pocus.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

All I said was that she's Puerto Rican, and she is Puerto Rican.

[Monet X Change]

Do you think Gingerbread has ever been to Puerto Rico?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Obviously, she's Puerto Rican biannually. She's the JLO of Drag Race.

[Monet X Change]

Oh, Lord. Yeah, Gingerbread's calling this show.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Okay, what are these questions? Sorry, I don't know.

[Jacob]

I mean, this is a. I had a topic. I have a couple different topics that I pulled up.

[Monet X Change]

What's this topic about?

[Jacob]

Like, etiquette and rules and, like, what's polite and, like, that kind of stuff.

[Monet X Change]

I have way more etiquette than you.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

First of all, that in and of itself, had little to no etiquette.

[Monet X Change]

I have way more etiquette than you.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

That. With just that act alone.

[Monet X Change]

Do you know how to properly set a table?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Of course.

[Monet X Change]

Okay, how do you. Which fork is all the way on the outside?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

The one. The little one.

[Monet X Change]

What is the little one used for?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

It's the littlest one. I know it's the littlest one. What is it used for? And they get bigger as they go to the other.

[Monet X Change]

What is the little one used for?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

It doesn't matter. I know how to set the fucking thing. I know how to set it. And then you put the plate and then the saucer in the bowl, and they. Then you take them as you serve them. So when you come, bring the soup, you take the plate and the saucer. You leave the bowl, you grab the soup, you put the thing down, take those away, you put the plate down. I know how to. But also, that's when you work as a domestic. I'm sitting at the table, you're setting it. Get that clear.

[Monet X Change]

And you don't know what the fuck. You know what fucking Fork to use.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

You know how to set it. But I know how to use it,

[Monet X Change]

and you, clearly, you don't.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

What the fuck is the middle school to work. You are setting the table. I'm sitting there waiting for people like you.

[Monet X Change]

What is the big spoon used for? What do you use it for? But, you know, you're a fucking Neanderthal.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Just. You're gagging. You ain't gagging. Because I knew how they go. You're gagging. You're shook, shattered and shorn. Give us the etiquette test. Jacob, it's time.

[Jacob]

What fork goes to the farthest left on the dinner setting?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Why don't you answer? No, it's your question. No, you answer your question. My question is.

[Jacob]

Jacob, it's for you, Bob.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Well, what question is going to answer?

[Jacob]

I'll go for one next.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

That's a salad fork.

[Jacob]

That's correct. Thank you, Monet. Where does the cake fork go?

[Monet X Change]

The cake fork goes in the middle.

[Jacob]

Yeah.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

One for one.

[Jacob]

Okay.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

But also, etiquette is more than just the dinner table and where the plates go. It's your behavior. It's who you are and how you are.

[Monet X Change]

And you think that's etiquette doing this?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Look at you. I watched your etiquette classes.

[Jacob]

I will also warn you that Monet did the section with the Vivian, where she.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I saw it, and she failed miserably.

[Monet X Change]

No, I was great at it.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Miserably.

[Monet X Change]

Oh, rest in peace of Vivian.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Rip, Viv, rip. Rip, Viv, Rip, Viv, rip.

[Monet X Change]

Okay, next question.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

You know, I was a trained butler.

[Monet X Change]

For who?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

For the Jekyll and High Club.

[Monet X Change]

They're not fucking butlers. They all are waiters.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I was a butler at the Jekyll and High Club.

[Monet X Change]

Who were you butlering?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

The patrons.

[Monet X Change]

So you were. What was your role?

[Jacob]

What was your job?

[Monet X Change]

What did you do?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I was a butler. You know what a butler is?

[Monet X Change]

Yeah, but what were your job. What were your job responsibilities?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

First of all, I would tend to the needs of our guests.

[Monet X Change]

How?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

First of all, it was a character that I played, but I had to go. So my name was Mortimer Grimm, and I was a butler who went to a school called Connecticut Etiquette. It's an etiquette school in Connecticut called Connecticut Etiquette. And yes, I did make that up myself. I had to do my own character research. So I say, my name is Mortimer McGrimmont. Etiquette School, they say. Where? I said, in Connecticut, they say. What's it called? Connecticut Etiquette.

[Monet X Change]

Okay, next question.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I did research because I'm a method.

[Monet X Change]

What's the next question?

[Jacob]

Okay, you should excuse yourself if you must leave the table during a meal. Do what you. True or false? You should excuse yourself if you must leave the table during a meal.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

You should ask to be excused. Yeah, you should be like, I have to. You don't just get up and leave.

[Monet X Change]

Are you telling. Are you asking us or telling us? I'm telling you.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I'm sorry. I'm so sorry, Matt. Please be excused. I have to excuse myself.

[Monet X Change]

I'm sorry.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

And then you take your napkin and you dab. And then you fold it and you put it on your seat, not on the table, like a monster.

[Monet X Change]

So wrong. You don't have to excuse yourself. You excuse yourself four times. That is redundant and is annoying. Is reductive.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

How does it. Four times.

[Monet X Change]

You said, excuse me, I have to go to bathroom.

[Jacob]

Sorry.

[Monet X Change]

I have to. Excuse me. You said it 4.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Excuse yourself 4 times. Let's let Jacob answer the question.

[Jacob]

Oh, you know, it wasn't that elaborate of an answer. It was just true. You should say.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

That is correct.

[Monet X Change]

You don't excuse yourself so many times.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Is it etiquette to walk in on your phone, buy, buy, sell, sell. When you walk into people's. Is that etiquette?

[Monet X Change]

Buy by, sell, sell.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

We had a whole conversation about you barging into my workspace in people's homes on your phone.

[Monet X Change]

Is that etiquette you do in places that you respect? I don't respect this space.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

It's etiquette.

[Monet X Change]

I don't respect it. So that's.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Why Is that etiquette?

[Monet X Change]

Yes. Because it's not a place I need to.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

You are.

[Monet X Change]

You've already failed my question, Jacob.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

You've no etiquette.

[Jacob]

Okay, if you're. What do you do if your fork falls on the floor while you're dining?

[Monet X Change]

You allow the butler to pick it up and to serve you.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

That's definitely not the answer.

[Monet X Change]

That's what I would do.

[Jacob]

And then what?

[Monet X Change]

And then the butler must take it back to clean it and then bring it back to the table and hand it. Place it right where it belongs at the beginning.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

That is okay. That's definitely not what you do. I would like to say what you do.

[Jacob]

Okay.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

What do you do if your fork falls in the ground? You do not reach down and pick it up. You and you. You request another fork. You go, oh, I'm so sorry. I've dropped my fork. I've made a horrible mistake. May I please have another? They will bring it to you on a plate. On a platter, on a napkin. You will take it off of the napkin and place it down and then someone will retrieve it.

[Monet X Change]

And who's someone? The butler.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

It might not be a butler. It might be a way. Jacob, what do you do?

[Jacob]

Yeah, you just asked for a new one.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

That's what I said.

[Monet X Change]

That's what I said.

[Jacob]

No, you're both right.

[Monet X Change]

Thank you.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

No, I said it right. I said it right. Because you forgot the plate.

[Jacob]

The tray.

[Monet X Change]

They don't always bring on the tray.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Well, not at your place. Not the places you frequent. They just be handed to you, holding

[Monet X Change]

the prongs handed to you.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Handle side out you ever. I always want to do this bit where, like, if I go. If I like serve people, I don't really serve food, but I've always loved the idea of giving someone a drink. Like, it's just like this.

[Monet X Change]

Oh, God. And just have your finger in the drink.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Like. Like, if you drop something, you're like, here you go.

[Monet X Change]

It's like the guy from.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Like, how do you.

[Monet X Change]

How do you.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

How do you respond to that?

[Monet X Change]

Oh, that's crazy, girl. Like, can you give me a new. A new beverage and keep your fucking fingers on my drink?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Is that etiquette? Who's asking the quiz, apparently.

[Monet X Change]

Well, I mean, last question, because then we're tied.

[Jacob]

Okay, if. If somebody asks you to pass the salt, what do you pass them?

[Monet X Change]

You passed in the salt and the pepper shaker. Do you know why?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

This is not my question.

[Monet X Change]

Do you know why?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Because they're in a caddy together. You don't take it out of the caddy.

[Monet X Change]

No, because everyone likes a little pepper with this. It is true.

[Jacob]

Yeah, that's correct.

[Monet X Change]

That's correct.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

That's not written. That is correct. That's not written in that thing. Jacob is making shit up now. Jacob. Just adding stuff. Is this my last one?

[Jacob]

Yes.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Talk to me.

[Jacob]

Okay. What fork do you start with?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Are you start with salad fork?

[Jacob]

That's correct.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I guess we're both as educated as the other one. Isn't that crazy? You're gagged. Even though I didn't grow up in the upper crust like you, I did

[Monet X Change]

not grow up in the up with you.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

You and you and Cuomo.

[Monet X Change]

Oh, my God.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I'm assuming that's where you grew up next to Cuomo.

[Monet X Change]

Me and Zoron were contemporaries. I don't know. You know, Zoran. Mom, Mom, Mom. Donnie's younger than us. Isn't that crazy? He's 33.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I hadn't considered how his age to be Honest. Have you seen the mayoral debate? He is cooking. Okay, It's Mandami Cuomo. And what's 34 now?

[Monet X Change]

He just had a birthday.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

What's the other guy's name?

[Jacob]

Curtis Soa, I believe.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Anyway, so. So they're like, all right, where do you guys believe? How do you feel about public transportation and Mudami's? Like, I believe that of course I take the one train every single day and we need to keep our prices low, and that's important. And then Como is like, I have not been on the train in so long, I don't know what y broke asses do. And then Curtis is like, I got stabbed on the one train. I got the.

[Jacob]

The.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

The so and so crying family shake me on the one train. I used to. I used to be in. I used to be a drug dealer. And they like, all right, so tell us, what parade would you do? And. And M's like, they're all great. I really. I would do the Puerto Rican Day parade because I like them.

[Monet X Change]

Then.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Then Quo's like, yeah, sure. His. He's like, I got ran over by car one time at a parade. I'm like, this guy Curtis Silva has lived the. He is like the New York City crazy, but like, somehow liberal version of rfk. I feel he's been stabbed.

[Jacob]

He's.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

He's been chased down by the mob.

[Monet X Change]

He's so interesting.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Everything wild has happened to this guy. He is insane.

[Jacob]

They did one, the question was, what's your favorite music venue? So Mamdani said, the Forest Hill Stadium. Curtis Silwa said the Chainsmokers.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

This is crazy. This guy, honestly, he has my book.

[Jacob]

He said the Chainsmokers. He also, to be fair, Curtis Walla is a Republican with terrible policies. He's a Republican candidate.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Oh, I didn't know that.

[Jacob]

Donnie is a Democrat who beat. He beat Cuomo.

[Monet X Change]

Oh, got it. I mean, sorry. And Cuomo's running as a independent.

[Jacob]

Yeah.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I thought there were three Democrats running.

[Jacob]

Some of Sowell's policies is he wants stricter policing on children.

[Monet X Change]

On children.

[Jacob]

He wants. He wants to, like, make, like, make it easier to arrest children who are committing crimes.

[Monet X Change]

Have you.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Have you met New York City children?

[Monet X Change]

I'm sorry, I'm sorry.

[Jacob]

I would agree.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Girl.

[Monet X Change]

I went to the third worst middle school in New York City, girl.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Yeah, I'm telling right now, New York City children are the scariest.

[Monet X Change]

Like, being on the train when school gets out is scary.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I would rather walk through the Bronx at 3am with a suit made of $100 bills. Then ride the train at 3:15.

[Monet X Change]

Yeah.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Crazy what these children will do to your self esteem, your energy.

[Monet X Change]

They're just so good at reading.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

It's the. It's the worst. They're. Y' all are. I don't know what they do to y' all at school, but y' all are released and you become like. When us in the south, when we rode the bus home, maybe there was a little period of time where we were like maybe giving the bus driver some fever. But like I just don't remember. Just like becoming like, just terrorizing anything in my vision. What is going on with y'?

[Monet X Change]

All? That's pretty accurate. I will say that's pretty accurate.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

In New York City, what's happening?

[Monet X Change]

You know, it just. We just have a lot of pent up anger and aggression and that's. I mean, yeah, New York is a fucked up place. You lived in New York City. Not like, you know, New York is not fucked up and crazy.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I was an adult in New York City. I gotta be honest with you. Raising a child in New York City seems crazy. If I had a baby, I'd be like, I gotta go to Jersey. Jersey, Philly, Connecticut, at least White Plains. So you can go down to New York City from time to time. But like being like, I'm going to raise my baby on 106 in Amsterdam is Arikiki. They didn't own their place. Arikiki, Arakiki, her family.

[Monet X Change]

I used to think about people that live with people.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Arakiki.

[Monet X Change]

I'm pretty sure she's from Jersey.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

No, Arikiki is from. Is definitely from the Upper east side. Her dad was a super.

[Monet X Change]

A super. Is pretty close to owning a building

[Bob the Drag Queen]

that's literally an employee of the building. Literally an employee of the building that's like saying the janitor basically owns the Empire State Building.

[Monet X Change]

You just had a fucking Ravenson moment.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

But you're like, like Arakiki. She lives in Jersey now.

[Monet X Change]

Oh, that's what she does.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

But she's from the Upper east side.

[Monet X Change]

Arikiki was a cra.

[Ad/Announcer]

She.

[Monet X Change]

Remember when she would do her numbers to just like throw herself around the bar. She would just fall off the stage and bang herself into walls. She would post next day, bruises, bleeding, her eyes falling out. She was.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Eyes are not falling out, but bruises and bleeding is actually very accurate. And Ari is a big girl, very big girl. So she would like throw her body and just like hit, hit the ground.

[Monet X Change]

Like, I'm not kidding, like, like, like bump into the wall. She'll be on Stage at the Ritz and just throw her. She'll climb up the stairs on the side and just throw herself down the entire series.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Yeah, I remember. And bounce down.

[Monet X Change]

R KE was wild.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Yeah, she was. One day, we should do a whole episode about the crazy people that we have met in New York City nightlife.

[Monet X Change]

Do you know. Do you know what we have to

[Jacob]

do one about New York City nightlife.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Do you already do one?

[Monet X Change]

Yes, girl.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

What about the characters, though?

[Monet X Change]

No. Do you know what we need to do one day? We need to go to city and go rent out a podcast space and bring and have guests. Like New York City guests. That'll be fun.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I did this once porno for Sibling Rivalry. I did it for Sibling Rivalry.

[Monet X Change]

Why'd you do that?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I did an entire episode at Sony hall with all the queens when you were away at Drag Race.

[Monet X Change]

Where is the episode? I never saw that.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

It is on the Internet. We did a Sony Hall.

[Monet X Change]

You remember, Jacob, was that true?

[Jacob]

I don't think I was working for the podcast.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I think it was mentioned at the time, but yeah, it was me, Keisha, Jasmine, Marty. Oh, I do remember that.

[Monet X Change]

Oh, no.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

At Sony Hall.

[Monet X Change]

And Jasmine Rice.

[Jacob]

That's your.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

That's your ex girlfriend.

[Monet X Change]

It's my ex girlfriend.

[Jacob]

That's.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

You told everyone.

[Jacob]

She.

[Monet X Change]

She and I have both debunked this thing that you said, and we have both debunked it. So out of three of us, two of us said it's not.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Well, you're. You're in. You're cahooting.

[Monet X Change]

You mean you're in cahoots.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

You're colluding.

[Monet X Change]

Yeah.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Colluding.

[Jacob]

Yeah.

[Monet X Change]

Kahooting.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

You are kahooting.

[Monet X Change]

No, we're colluding, not cahooting. We're in cahoots because we're colluding.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

But you are kahooting. You're kahooting and colluding.

[Monet X Change]

No, we're in cahoots and we're kuding. No, kahooting is not a word, Jacob. Colluding is.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Kahooting is a word. No, kahoots is a word, but you can kahoot.

[Monet X Change]

I don't think so.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

You can't kahoot.

[Monet X Change]

Jacob, please.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Kahoot can be a verb.

[Monet X Change]

No, I don't think so. No, ing is not.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Wait,

[Jacob]

I don't think.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Look at the word cahoot.

[Monet X Change]

It's not.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

It is not. What is it? What?

[Monet X Change]

What?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Kahoot.

[Monet X Change]

You can't be. Kahooting is that word.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Look up kahoot as a verb.

[Jacob]

It's not.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I think if on dictionary, you can Use it as a gerund.

[Monet X Change]

No, you cannot.

[Jacob]

It would say if you could use it.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

You trust Dictionary.com? the White man's dictionary.

[Monet X Change]

You would apologize to me?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Never in a million years.

[Monet X Change]

Oxford is the white man's dictionary now. Go to Urban Dictionary.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

What's the nigga?

[Monet X Change]

Go to Urban Dictionary. See what they say about cahooting.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Husbando in cahoots is not even Y' all niggas was cahooting. Cahooting. You're a cahooter. See, she was your cahooter.

[Jacob]

You see?

[Monet X Change]

You and your nigger ish language over here.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

She was your fucking cahooter.

[Monet X Change]

Exactly.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

My fucking scarf is sliding all the way back.

[Monet X Change]

Jesus, you look like jujubee on when we did the Dungeons and Drag Queens. Wasn't that crazy? All that lace with her lace every episode and we all looked at her lace.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Well, I just assumed that she knew. And then she was like, why didn't tell me? Like, we thought you had a mirror. You had a mirror, bitch. Like, did you not. You put. You glued it down yourself?

[Monet X Change]

Like the first day was normal? Cause we shot that one for six days. No, three days.

[Jacob]

Three days.

[Monet X Change]

By day three, it was.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

No, it started off bad, and then she trimmed it back. Cause she was like, my lace was so bad.

[Monet X Change]

Oh, is that what it was?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Yeah. The first we. Did we.

[Monet X Change]

The first two days, it was crazy.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Yeah.

[Monet X Change]

And on the third day, she finally trimmed it back.

[Jacob]

Was that season one or two?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Two.

[Monet X Change]

Season two.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

So if you watch. What's the show I was on with the Devil? Lucifer.

[Monet X Change]

Lucifer.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

What we about to say we're here.

[Monet X Change]

This is going.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

We better say we're here.

[Monet X Change]

No, no, I know.

[Jacob]

I just. I remember. I remember the.

[Monet X Change]

Here, I'm screaming. That's hilarious.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

So on Lucifer, I am. This happened to me twice on two different films, which is insane. I have my wig on, and I have a ponytail on. So what's the guy's name, the actor who plays Lucifer? Robert or Tom Ellis. Tom Ellis. Who's actually friends with. Who's friends with. Who's actually friends with Mila Jam, by the way. Randomly.

[Monet X Change]

How'd you get Robert? From Tom.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

So he and I are dancing together, and I have this idea. I'm like, oh, it'd be so fun if I pick you up and kind of spin you around in a circle. It'd be so cute. So shout out. Good doy. Made this out for me, by the way. It'd be so cute if I pick you up and speed around a circle. And they were like, yeah, do that girl, take after take after take. He is a big man. He's my size. So I'm lifting, like, £230, like, over and over again. I'm start sweating. My wig starts sliding back. So if you look at this thing, like, the takes, my wig is like. It's like. It's like my hairline is going back, front, front, back, back, front, front, back, back. Because they're using different takes. And there is one take, I can't tell where my wig is so far back. And I'm like, how did you guys not clock. This is a bad. Because I was sweating so much, my wig just, like, sliding back.

[Monet X Change]

But did you feel it? Why didn't you, like, adjust it?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I did end up adjusting it, so I ended up pulling it back down. But they. But they were like. They were like, all right, take another take. But then I was like, you ever feel your wig? And you're like, is my wig far back? And you'd be like, is it? And then you look at someone, they're like, no, but that person you're looking at is not like, oh, there it is. Is that the one?

[Monet X Change]

I think, girl, it's one of the ones.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

But, yeah, my wig. And then it happened again in a fucking movie I did called the Coco Fondue show with Puerto Rican superstar Ginger Minch and Manila Luzon. We were in a movie together and Jackie B. It's called the Coco Von Du Show. And I went back and watched it, and my wig, like, it was giving, like, Vander Von Odd. Like, fucking. I remember being like this.

[Monet X Change]

Why I didn't wear ponytails.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I was like. And all of y' all were just looking at me. And no one at any point thought to be like, girl, your wig is halfway back your head. And that time, I actually had my assistant with me, Luis Louise. And I was like, luis, this is crazy. The fact that you were coming over to me between shots and being like, looks great is crazy.

[Monet X Change]

I would say that is the thing. Pat A's done this, too. We have done a thing. And then I'm thinking, we're good, bitch. And then I see the thing. I'm like, girl, you ain't telling me that.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Y' all was back there watching the monitor. You know what it is? I don't think people. You know what it is. When I am on set, I'm like, this is. First of all, I know how out of touch we sound. I know. So they're out of touch. Yeah, we are. Okay. But, like, when you're on camera, you can't see yourself. There's no mirrors. The monitors are not facing you. So you're like, I need someone who is just, like, staring at the monitor like crazy.

[Jacob]

Yeah.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Looking. Because it is. Once it's shot, it's shot.

[Monet X Change]

Yeah. And nine times out of 10, 95% of the time, Patty's really on it.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I'm trying to defend himself. You grab the mic, go over to the mic. Patrick.

[Monet X Change]

95% of the time, there's that 5% of Patty's like, well, girl, it is. What it is.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Is Pat, you want to defend yourself? Let's ask the audience.

[Monet X Change]

Like, 95% of the time, Patty would stop. We were like, no, but that 5% of the time, what is the last shot of the day? Pat's like, bitch, wrap it up.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I will say this, and this is not yalls fault, but, like, I guess it was a period piece and you had to do this. But the makeup they made y' all do for Lovecraft country was criminal. Criminal. We look bad.

[Monet X Change]

But it was. Because it was a period thing.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I would've been like, I don't give a fuck. Full glam. I'd have been like. I would've been kind no matter what.

[Monet X Change]

No, they wouldn't have had. I'd have been like, no.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

We had highlight back in. Back in my time, honey. I'm a time traveler. This is lovely. Y' all got ghouls and monsters, and I can't time travel for highlight.

[Monet X Change]

Yeah, we look like ghoul.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

It is bad. When I tell you it was a

[Monet X Change]

suggestion of an eye. It was crazy.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

No, it was. I remember being like, woofiana, honey.

[Monet X Change]

And we shot that in Atlanta in the summer in this speakeasy thing they made When I Tell you. Cause you know when you film, you can't put the AC on. It was so fucking hot in this room with all these dancers, all these things. We were, like, sweating. It was crazy.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

But, yeah, that does sound. But I remember watching me like, ooh, sis, they got you.

[Monet X Change]

It was Atlanta, Georgia, in August. Okay, so I'm gonna bring two. Next time I come over here, I'm gonna bring two watermelons. We're gonna saran wrap them to our bodies. We have to do a little tax.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

But, like, no, that's not how it works. You have to do it. You have to work, like, 24 hours and document it. Doing a podcast?

[Monet X Change]

No, not a podcast. We're gonna do things. We're gonna, like, be making things. We're gonna be. You're gonna be living your life.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I think we have to do it for 24 hours, including sleeping. You have to sleep with it on. So we have to go from, like.

[Jacob]

From, like, noon, maybe not a watermelon,

[Bob the Drag Queen]

then maybe something else noon, in case it breaks and they don't break. Watermelons can break in your bed.

[Monet X Change]

Watch the sheets. It's been a minute.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Anyway, we wash. We have our sheets washed regularly.

[Monet X Change]

I wash. How often do you wash

[Bob the Drag Queen]

your sheets A week?

[Jacob]

Every week.

[Monet X Change]

Every week.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

What do you do? We gotta come to Every three days?

[Monet X Change]

Every four.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

You would. You would try to change the answer after we said every week, too.

[Monet X Change]

Sometimes you go a little lazy, you know, Go two weeks.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I'm gonna be honest with you. I don't wash my own sheets.

[Monet X Change]

And now you see how the other half lives. Now y' all see this is the real Bob the Drag Queen. The one he don't show. Y' all for real. Y' all just saw a little glimpse of it.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I've never been shy about having a housekeeper.

[Monet X Change]

Wow. Must be nice.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

It is nice for all of us. We're having a great transaction. In fact, I'll talk about how nice it is after this break.

[Jacob]

Oh, no, sorry.

[Monet X Change]

This is the end. You're only talking for three hours. You want to talk more?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Yes, Moni, I would love to talk to you more. I like talking to you. Is that okay? You don't mind, do you? No.

[Monet X Change]

Thank you.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

That's crazy. All right, well, everyone, money is gonna talk, so bye. Also, if you want to catch our sibling event series that is exclusively on our Patreon, where we talk about current events. So please hop over there. You can go to siblingrivery.com just google

[Monet X Change]

civil and Patreon, and you'll find it right there.

[Jacob]

Patreon.com civil librarypodcast.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

There we go.