The One Where We Move Bob's Chair

Summary

Sibling Rivalry Podcast

Episode: The One Where We Move Bob's Chair
Date: March 23, 2026
Hosts: Bob the Drag Queen & Monét X Change

---

Episode Overview

This episode is classic Sibling Rivalry: comedic chaos, personal stories, playful insults, and a healthy dose of nostalgia. Bob and Monét reflect on awards, wild nights in New York, reality TV, and their own eccentricities, culminating in an in-depth retelling of "the night of the chair"—an infamous story in their friendship. The chemistry and banter are at full tilt, spiced up by the presence of their friend Taylor, discussions about future podcast goals, and updates on their creative careers.

---

Key Discussion Points and Insights

1. Monét's College Dropout Confession

[02:54–07:14]

• Monét admits she "dropped out" of Spanish classes at LA City College but reveals she was just auditing, not paying. Bob pokes fun at Monét for "wasting tax dollars."
• After a playful back-and-forth about whether community colleges are public, Monét stands her ground:
  Quote:

  "You know, I am a taxpayer of Los Angeles County. I'm not going to apologize." – Monét [06:58]

• The segment leads into a mock debt collection for wasted class funds, with Bob demanding "$4 back," linking it to a DragCon incident.

2. Rating Awards by Lethality

[03:32–05:54]

• Bob and Monét boast about their Signal Awards win, then rank their trophies by how deadly they could be if weaponized.
  • Monét: "My most dangerous award is probably my critic's choice award... It's also phallic with a big bulb at the top. So it's like, boom. You could really bludgeon someone." [04:00]
  • Bob: "My Most dangerous award is definitely my BET Black and Iconic award. I could accidentally kill someone with this thing." [05:26]
• Cue comedic debate on the meaning of "phallic" and a segue into penis stories.

3. Self-Defense, Fighting, and Reality Dramatics

[07:53–09:32]

• Bob declares he doesn’t fight fair: "I'm not interested in fighting by any rules. I have an interest in not fighting anymore. Like ending the fight." [08:12]
• Scenario spin-offs about using weapons for self-defense escalate into a court-of-law debate involving a (fictional) Tracy Marquez.

4. Awards, Shoutouts, and Personal Brands

[11:23–13:04]

• Shoutouts to fans and stylists, with Monét promoting her "High Heels Bad Knees" tour.
• A tangent about Crocs and jibbitz as fashion, with Bob dubbing himself a “taste maker” and Monét a “taster”:

  "I create the hors d'oeuvres, and you follow around... spell H, O, U..." – Bob [14:44]

  • Extended, hilarious attempt to spell "hors d'oeuvres."

5. Streaming & Reality TV Review: Squid Game: The Challenge

[18:54–29:30]

• The duo dissect Season 2 of Squid Game: The Challenge:
  • Both praise winner Perla, dissect game strategies, and make fun of reality contestants claiming they "work the hardest."
  • Debate over morality and tactics in high-stakes competition: "I would weaponize my dead grandma... so how are you gonna judge her?" – Bob [21:07]
  • Bob recalls a “tragic” elimination: "And to watch the ball bounce off his fingers. He was so mad at himself." [27:07]
• Discussion about reality TV ethics, on-air lies, and emotional manipulation—all delivered with signature shade.

6. The Slammy Awards and “The Night of the Chair”

[36:32–44:59]

• Bob reminisces about NYC’s Slammy Awards (“the worst of New York City Nightlife,” [37:25]), the infamous “Cunt of the Year” trophy, and lip sync contests.
• The story of "the night of the chair":
  • Bob, Monét, and Taylor recall a pre-show wig emergency, a missing chair, and Bob slamming to the floor.
  • Bob’s rage, the “lime green lawn chair,” the silence after falling, and the ensuing fake composure as they left for the show is retold in comic detail.
  • The group agrees, "We're there for you. You're there for the humor, chair-pulling ass." [44:53]
• The chair story is universally agreed to be pivotal and hilarious—a classic moment in their friendship.

7. Custody Battle Over Awards

[45:08–46:32]

• Debate over who keeps the Signal Award.
• Bob insists: "I'm keeping this. This is not up for debate. Because you took the queerty against my will." [46:06]
• Monét claims Jacob gave her the Queerty, Bob suggests a rock-paper-scissors showdown.

8. Podcast and YouTube Goals

[34:32–35:34], [46:41–48:40]

• Both hosts reflect on podcast achievements, plans for live shows, and future award ambitions:
  • "One goal? I would like us to get another GLAAD Award." – Monét [46:54]
  • Bob aims for a million YouTube subscribers; Monét aims to reach 250k.
• They tease collaborative content and fresh video projects.

9. Bob & Monét: Eccentricity, Friendship, and Villainy

[29:30–33:30]

• Monét claims Bob is the most eccentric of their friends, sparking a humorous analysis of their circle (Taylor, Jacob, and Kane).
• Bob denies being a TV villain; Monét counters with examples from “The Traitors,” “RuPaul’s Drag Race,” and more, referencing "villain roles":

  "Every show you've been on TV, you've been a villain." – Monét [31:34]
  "That is not true!" – Bob [31:37]

10. Side Tangents and Notable Moments

• Spelling challenges with "hors d'oeuvres" [15:01]
• Discussion of Bob’s "eccentric" purchase of a PT Cruiser to stone [29:58]
• Honorable shoutouts to stylists, makeup artists, and reality TV favorites.
• Adderall confessions: Monét describes trying Adderall for the first time before a podcast taping, resulting in rapid-fire speech and “perked up” energy [53:11].
• Humorous roasting of each other's wealth and home setups.

---

Memorable Quotes

• Monét: "Stole my fucking money. I'm so mad about it." [13:08]
• Bob: "Long Island is lowkey the Texas of the north." [35:59]
• Bob: "I'm using him to advocate for human rights. All you advocate for is human wrongs." [07:41]
• Monét: "I am a taste maker, and you're a taster." [14:44]
• Bob: "Nothing I did in the castle was villainous." [32:03]
• Bob: "You follow the trends, and I set them." [14:40]
• Monét: "Can we just split custody?" [45:44]
• Bob: "You took the queerty against my will." [46:06]
• Bob: "You could have cooked an omelette on my forehead. I was so mad." [42:53]
• Monét: "Every show you've been on tv, you've been a villain." [31:34]

---

Timestamps for Key Segments

• [02:54] – Monét’s dropout saga and college debate
• [04:00] – Awards by lethality; phallic trophy banter
• [08:04] – Fighting strategy & self-defense
• [13:08] – Monét’s stolen money rant
• [18:54] – Squid Game: The Challenge review
• [36:32] – Slammy Awards and setting up the chair story
• [40:41] – Bob falls because of the moved chair—“the night of the chair” story
• [45:08] – Who gets to keep the Signal Award?
• [46:54]/[47:01] – Future podcast & YouTube goals
• [53:11] – Monét’s Adderall podcast experience

---

Tone & Language

The tone is hilariously chaotic, camp, and deeply personal, reflecting the style and spirit of Bob and Monét’s comedic partnership. Their banter is loaded with shade, vivid storytelling, and moments of vulnerability and nostalgia—making the episode a perfect cross-section of Sibling Rivalry’s enduring appeal.

---

For New Listeners

This episode showcases everything fans love: inside jokes, raw stories, wild laughter, and a look behind the curtain of drag and podcasting fame. Whether you’re invested in award show politics, NYC drag nostalgia, or just want to hear two icons roast each other with love, this is a must-listen.

Transcript

[A]

Are you noticing your car insurance rate creep up? Even without tickets or claims, you're not alone. That's why there's Jerry, your proactive insurance assistant. Jerry handles the legwork by comparing quotes side by side from over 50 top insurers so you can confidently hit buy. No spam calls, no hidden fees. Jerry even tracks rates and alerts you when it's best to shop. Drivers who save with Jerry could save over $1,300 a year. Don't settle for higher rates. Download the Jerry app or visit Jerry AI Libsyn. Today, that's J E R R Y AI Libsyn.

[B]

My name is Bob the Drag Queen.

[C]

And I'm Monet.

[B]

And this is sibling rivalry. On this week's episode, Monet drops out of college.

[C]

We move Bob's chair and we find

[B]

out what made Monet say this stole my fucking money.

[C]

I'm so mad about it. And we find out what made Bob say this.

[B]

Long island is located to Texas of the north. Hola, Va. Hola. Money exchange. Muy bien.

[C]

Torro bien.

[B]

Toro vien isu a prospero ano?

[C]

Si, pero no prospero. Este is muy muy.

[B]

S Espanol or ingles?

[C]

Si, Espanol.

[B]

Oh, si Muy teresante.

[C]

Joe escucho. Joe escucho. Yo, Joe escucho. Personos Espanol.

[B]

Supersonas. They don't destan mass Personas de donde

[C]

Stan in Puerto Vallarta. And Mexico. Mexico City.

[B]

And Mexico.

[C]

Mexico. Mexico. Mexico.

[B]

Ciudad de Mexico. I win. City. Ciudad de Mexico. And on that note. Gracias. Put it. I don't know how to say that. You're going to myself gathered.

[C]

Mucha gracias para funny.

[B]

I've already won.

[C]

I'm just saying. But it was the Muchas gracias. Viniendo me show. How you say show in Spanish?

[B]

No, that was English. No, I don't want to. Mexico. Mexico.

[C]

Mexico City.

[B]

How are you Spanish? Are you still thinking Spanish lessons?

[C]

Girl, we dropped out. It was I. I realized I'm going

[B]

to say I knew you were like, I. I Monet, you don't have time to be up in school learning Spanish.

[C]

I know, but I thought I did. And I was like, girl, walk around

[B]

your neighborhood you live in in Little Mexico.

[C]

I was like, girl, I. A month in, I was like, this is like being back in school is a total mindset that I am not ready to do. And I was missing class. Cause I was gone. It was just not a mess.

[B]

We want to. We want to thank the people At.

[C]

I. I'll handle that, Taylor. Thank you so much, Taylor.

[B]

Cheers wisely.

[C]

Thank you.

[B]

This.

[C]

We want to give a shout out to the Signal Awards. We won the two 2025 listeners choice for best podcast, for best LGBTQ plus show. This is a very nice award. It's very hefty.

[B]

Well, I was saying, I think I want to do a ranking system where I rank all of my awards based on how, like, could I kill someone with it?

[C]

This is. I mean, this is a weighty. Should we just keep on the table for this episode?

[B]

What's your Most Dangerous award that you could in the middle? Don't try to put it closer to you.

[C]

I think my Most Dangerous award is probably my critic's choice award. It's pretty heavy and it's also like. It's also phallic with a big bulb at the top. So it's like, boom. You could really bludgeon someone with it. What?

[B]

I guess. Wait, does it peak?

[C]

No, it's like this. And there's a big globe at the top or like a big star globe thing.

[B]

So what makes something phallic? I don't really know because I feel like for me, when I think phallic, it either has to be a continue shape or it has a taper toward the top. But if it tapers toward the bottom. Whose dick is shaped like that?

[C]

But I don't think phallic means necessarily shaped like a dick.

[B]

I think it resembling a dick.

[C]

Resembling. And so for me, and I've definitely. Bitch, I have been down the roads with you. Never had a table at the bottom.

[B]

I've had a bulb in the middle.

[C]

Okay. So skinny.

[D]

Big.

[B]

Skinny.

[C]

Oh, wow. Like, how big was it? Like how big were you talking in the middle?

[B]

Like a knuckle. Really? Well, thicker than a knuckle, I guess. My knuckles aren't really big. My knuckles are. I mean. Yeah.

[C]

Yeah. The whole finger is just big

[B]

anyway. I think most with their second knuckle. The knuckle close to the palm is the thickest part of their finger.

[C]

Yeah. Yeah.

[B]

But I've had somewhere that the top knuckle was the thickest one.

[C]

Oh, wow. Yeah. That's interesting. Have you ever had met. Encountered a penis who had a subdermal implant on it?

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

Okay.

[B]

My Most dangerous award is definitely my BET Black and Iconic award.

[C]

Is it heavy?

[B]

Taylor, could you. It is. I could easily. I could accidentally kill someone with this thing.

[C]

Accidentally? Yeah, Accidentally kill someone.

[B]

I'm gonna hand it to you. I want to hand it. It's important. I Hand it to you, because this thing is. It is very heavy.

[C]

Oh, my God. What's heavy? This.

[B]

Oh, easily.

[C]

Let me not do that easily.

[B]

The BET Award.

[C]

Oh, yeah. The BET Award. Yeah. This thing is heavy.

[B]

Yeah, you could definitely kill someone with that thing. Wow. For sure. But. Oh, yeah. Can you take it back, Taylor? So did you have to. Did you just stop going or did you have to, like, formally drop out? I just thought, oh, my God, you're a college dropout. Welcome to the club. How does it feel?

[C]

I just stopped. I just stopped going. I just.

[B]

So you're still paying? No, no, you have to pay for the whole year. Were you paying by class?

[C]

I. Oh, yeah, I just audited the class.

[B]

You went for free?

[C]

I went for free, basically for the moral.

[B]

So you use tax dollars? Whoa, whoa.

[C]

No, no, no, no.

[B]

So you wasted tax dollars? Is it a public school?

[C]

No, it's not.

[B]

What school is it?

[C]

Lacc. Community College.

[B]

That's a public school, Monet.

[C]

No, it's not. All community colleges, not public Google.

[B]

So you wasted tax dollars.

[C]

All community colleges are not la.

[B]

Community college is a public school.

[C]

I don't think it is.

[B]

Yes, go to. This is la. City College is a public community college in East Hollywood, California. So do you want to apologize to the taxpayers of Los Angeles County?

[C]

You know, I am a taxpayer of Los Angeles County. I'm not going to apologize.

[B]

Well, everyone in this room is too. And you owe us an apology. Each of us. Each of us paid about at least $4 minimum $4 for those classes.

[C]

And I'm apologizing to you or you, or you or you. So now what? What you gonna do?

[B]

You owe us. Then at least give us back our $4. No. Give me $4.

[C]

No.

[B]

I feel like that guy at the DragCon who you scammed.

[C]

You want to think of guy. What is his name?

[B]

I don't really know this person.

[C]

He is nameless. You just use him as a prop in your podcast to shame your co host.

[B]

What's his name? I met him once at a party.

[C]

Hey there, name.

[B]

I met him once at a party. I did not remember his name, but. But I believe he still deserves justice.

[C]

So you're just using him as a prop in your podcast?

[B]

I'm using him to advocate for human rights.

[C]

Okay, then how about you do a.

[B]

All you advocate for is human wrongs. That's what you advocate for. And I'm about to give you some human lefts and right and hooks and uppercuts.

[C]

All right, you were. You were good on the.

[B]

On the Wrong. The left, right, uppercut.

[C]

Lost me.

[B]

I think that if I had to get into a fight, I think feel like I don't think I have hands.

[C]

So how would you fight?

[B]

Grappling, slamming, choking, gouging, scratching. Oh, wow.

[C]

So you're like a cheap shot.

[B]

Oh, yeah. I don't. I'm not interested in fighting by any rules. I'm not interested in. I have no interest in like a fair fight. I have an interest in not fighting anymore. Like ending the fight.

[C]

But in a fight, one good one, if the person gets one good swing on you, you could be done.

[B]

I have no hands, I'm saying.

[C]

But same with that person. Just comes at you really quickly. So you have to know how to hold hands to defend your face.

[B]

No, I can. I know how to defend myself. Okay, but then I'm gonna try to get my hands on you.

[C]

Got it. Would you use a weapon?

[B]

If I had to, yeah, if there was one nearby. Wow.

[C]

Now what if in use, in the use of this weapon, you accidentally unalive this person, then what?

[B]

Self defense?

[C]

No, that's not how self defense works.

[B]

Yes it is.

[C]

It is not just because if someone attacks and you kill.

[B]

If I believe that my life is in danger and I use a weapon,

[C]

you have to prove that in a court of law though, that. So let's say.

[B]

Okay, I wouldn't be worried about it because I wouldn't engage in any sort of battle. That would be. I wouldn't. Yeah. I wouldn't be using unnecessary force.

[C]

So let's say Tracy Marquez comes at you to fight you.

[B]

I grab my BET Award.

[C]

And then you hit her.

[B]

You bludgeon her right on top of

[C]

the head and then she dies. And so you gotta prove in a court of law.

[B]

Why did she attack me? Hold on.

[C]

You gotta prove in a court of law that Tracy Marquez, who was 4

[B]

foot 11, she could destroy my ankles.

[C]

Who is 4 foot 11, was endangering her life. So until you killed her, you're going to jail for life.

[B]

So you don't think that a short person could do damage?

[C]

No, no, no, Not a short person. Tracy Marquez, who's a sweet, kind, gentle human being.

[B]

Tracy Marquez. Yes. She's lovely. She's lovely.

[C]

So prove that a court of law.

[B]

Have you ever read any J.R.R. tolkien books?

[C]

Who? J.R.R. tolkien.

[B]

J.R.R. tolkien?

[C]

No. Is that the guy who did Lord

[B]

of the Rings and the Hobbit?

[C]

Uh huh.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

I haven't read his books, but they're dangerous.

[B]

You can be tiny and dangerous. Bilbo Baggins. Does damage.

[C]

Okay. If you're in the. In the. I was saying, I sent on threads the other day. Should I watch the Lord of the Rings movies?

[B]

Like, honestly, I've never seen one, so. I couldn't give you any. Jacob. They're long, Right? Knowing what you like. I don't know if it's necessarily the series for you. Are there a lot of powers? What? Are there lots of powers?

[C]

No, it's only Gandalf.

[B]

And you've seen it.

[C]

I've seen that.

[D]

There's not.

[B]

It's not magic. Heavy. So the magic is more in the monsters and stuff. There are a lot of mythical creatures, but there's not a whole bunch of magic happening.

[C]

Yeah. Yeah.

[B]

So maybe not for you. You like Star Wars?

[C]

I never seen it.

[B]

Me either.

[C]

Never seen a single star or a war. Dune did not. I saw the first one two shot. Too dark.

[B]

I've heard that Dune is like the new Star Wars.

[C]

I sat in the theater and I

[B]

don't even have vision impairment.

[C]

I was like.

[B]

I was like, this.

[C]

Cause this shot's so dark. And that's the thing. Everyone's like, yeah, that was a director's choice. I was like, why did you look

[B]

at me and say vision impairment?

[C]

Because you have an astigmatism and your vision is highly impaired.

[B]

This feels ableist.

[C]

Right? I'm just stating a fact.

[B]

But the way you said it had, like, fervor and acid. Oh, and height. People that have been obsessed with saying Hythe.

[C]

Hythe.

[B]

Wait, we're not gonna say. If y' all get that, that's all you have. Hype. If you know where that's from, comment below. Do you wanna give any shout outs today, by the way?

[C]

I wanna give a shout out to everyone who is buying tickets to my high heels bad knees store.

[B]

Such a bad shout out.

[C]

My high heels, bad knees store Such

[B]

a bad shout out. No. Okay, let's start with this. Let's promote the tour, and then I want you to give a real shout out.

[C]

You know, listen. You know you cannot control my shout out.

[B]

It's a request. I'm putting in a formal request, okay?

[C]

And we'll see if your request will be denied or confirmed.

[B]

And how long do I have to wait to find out? You'll find out.

[C]

My highest bad news story.

[B]

You tried to imitate Mohart. When you did, you find out, you're like. You're like, be original. Let her have her things.

[C]

Can you talk about how beautiful I look in this room?

[B]

It's absolutely stunning.

[C]

Steven Simeon shot this you and me

[B]

going on and on about this garment, and it looks really beautiful. And I mean, can I give a spoiler alert? There's matching shoes,

[C]

and there's a pair that don't fit me, and I wanted to give to you, like, one day. I don't want these shoes.

[B]

They would never fit me.

[C]

Yes, they would. No, no, no. They're a size small for me.

[B]

Then bring them over. No, because they're open toe. You know, I don't really wear open toe.

[C]

Well, you do. Okay. Don't really. It's not. You don't.

[B]

Yeah, yeah, I don't really. I do wear open toe shoes from time to time, but I. But I prefer not to because I don't wear. I don't put my toes out.

[C]

But we could have a matching outfit. You have matching shoes that are fully stoned.

[B]

We have matching outfits.

[C]

Okay, we get another one. Yeah.

[B]

I'm about to buy this, so I'm about to wear a crop top. Is there a version of this dress that doesn't have your belly button? Now like a slut.

[C]

Get one made in a Bob the Drag Queen silhouette. Godoy's making me a Godoy. Godoy. Shout out to Godoy. G's for Godoy. What an amazing on time, respectful. I am obsessed with working with Godoy because there are some other fucking designers out here.

[B]

Say we used to stand for something.

[C]

Say I said I was gonna say his name.

[B]

You said.

[C]

And the last time you said. You said. Monat. Don't be that girl names. Domino Couture Moan.

[B]

We have a week back. That was crazy.

[C]

Stole my fucking money. I'm so mad about it.

[B]

Okay, can we move on?

[C]

Okay.

[B]

Okay.

[C]

So my high heels, bad knees store. My high heels, bad knees store. Tickets are on sale now. I'm going to Spokane, Palm Springs, Homestead, Penn. What the fuck is.

[B]

Oh, that's.

[C]

The Pittsburgh Improv is in Homestead. I didn't know that. I love that improv. You've been there. I love that improv.

[B]

Which one?

[C]

Pittsburgh?

[B]

No, I did a different video in Pittsburgh.

[C]

Gray Improv, The Parkway Theater.

[B]

I would like to revisit Pittsburgh and reconnect with you all because I had such a bad experience. I have such a bad taste in my mouth in Pittsburgh.

[C]

Why?

[B]

And I don't want to. I don't want to trash Pittsburgh anymore. I want to because all love Pittsburgh so much. And I. I want to. I want to like Pittsburgh.

[C]

I like Pittsburgh a lot.

[B]

So go see Monique on the. On the High Queen Bad Drag Tour.

[C]

Who's. Who's Moni. Who the fuck is Moni? Nigga, what's wrong with you? My name is Monet. Moni. Y' all heard that?

[B]

That was crazy. I was trying to make you feel at home, Moni. So go see Monet on the high. High drag. Bad cat. His high heels.

[C]

Man.

[B]

Such a high queen. Bad drag. I want to give a shout out to everyone who's wearing crocs with jibbitz on them.

[C]

Girl, the jibbitz are out. The gibbitz are out, mama.

[B]

You know, because I don't even wear crocs.

[C]

I have my pulse. My. My fingers on the pulse of fashion.

[B]

That's not true.

[C]

I do.

[B]

That is not true.

[C]

Because of my amazing stylist, Taylor O'Rear.

[B]

There's a difference between you and me. Correct. You follow the trends, and I set them.

[C]

What trend have you set?

[B]

You follow the trends, and I set them.

[C]

Set which one?

[B]

I am a taste maker, and you're a taster.

[C]

You're.

[B]

No, I, sir. I create the hors d', oeuvres, and you and you follow around. Spell H, O, U Wrong. H, O, r, S. Jacob, look it up. No, continue. Continue. Jacob, look it up.

[C]

H, H, R, S. You already wrong. Okay, don't look over some hours.

[B]

Don't look over some hours. Hours, Ders. Finish spelling it.

[C]

H, O, r, S, space, D, apostrophe,

[B]

E, V, E, U, R, E, S. No, that's. Yes, I did. No, you skipped the O, and there's no S. Well, I got hors d'.

[C]

Oeuvres. That's why we say plural, which you learn in school how to pluralize things.

[B]

You add an S at the end. Shut your college dropout ass up, bitch. I am a college dropout, though.

[C]

Well, it's not a college dropout.

[B]

And I want to be clear. When I dropped out of college, I was paying for it out of my pocket. I took my checks from Ruby Tuesday and from Applebee's. I went and debated down to the guidance counselor, and I put down my own money. So those of you who are living in Columbus, Georgia, in 2004, when I. 2008. 2008, when I dropped out of college, I want you to know that that was my money. I did not waste tax dollars.

[C]

Well, first of all, I paid my college out of my pocket when I graduated, when I graduated college.

[B]

Don't talk about the one you dropped out of, the one that we all

[C]

paid for, the one that I paid $52,000 a year. So the city of.

[B]

Of.

[C]

Of Princeton, New Jersey, is eating off of the crumbs off of my hard work and my dollars.

[B]

That was so long ago. That don't even count no more. You were for me. How long Will. How. How long do you think $50,000 goes in Princeton? What is. What is that one street bitch?

[C]

I said $52,000 a year. Times four, baby.

[B]

A year.

[A]

When it's time to scale your business, it's time for Shopify. Get everything you need to grow the way you want.

[B]

Like all the way.

[A]

Stack more sales with the best converting checkout on the planet. Track your cha chings from every channel right in one spot. And turn real time reporting into big time opportunities. Take your business to a whole new level. Switch to Shopify. Start your free trial today.

[C]

Close your eyes.

[A]

Exhale.

[C]

Feel your body relax. And let go of whatever you're carrying today.

[A]

Well, I'm letting go of the worry that I wouldn't get my new contacts in time for this class. I got them delivered free from 1-800-contacts. Oh, my gosh, they're so fast.

[D]

And breathe.

[A]

Oh, sorry. I almost couldn't breathe when I saw the discount they gave me on my first order. Oh, sorry. Namaste.

[C]

Visit 1-800-contacts.com today to save on your first order.

[B]

1-800-contacts.

[C]

There is a street. $216.

[B]

There's a street in Hollywood. When you take Fountain just south of the Bowl. The. The Hollywood Bowl. When you take it east, there's a strip of land right there where there is just no street lights.

[C]

You're going and just stop. Stop signs.

[B]

Yeah, Yeah.

[C]

I hate that street.

[B]

No, no, there's no street light. No, there's no street lights. Not traffic lights.

[C]

Oh, street lights.

[B]

It is pitch black. You're going up a hill and there's just no street.

[C]

You mean Franklin, not Fountain.

[B]

Franklin?

[C]

Yes. Yeah, Frank, I know. I know what you're talking about. Yeah.

[B]

And it just seems dangerous.

[C]

It doesn't seem dangerous. I hooked up with a guy that one time.

[B]

How was your experience?

[C]

It was okay. It was. I hadn't done this in years. Years.

[B]

Oh, my God. You said it.

[C]

Right. But it was.

[B]

That was crazy. I'm.

[C]

It was a street hookup.

[B]

In the street.

[C]

In the street.

[B]

Well, how did you even see each other?

[C]

That's why he tell us go there because it was so dark.

[B]

That's. And there is one street light, but it doesn't work.

[C]

Oh, I didn't even know that was it.

[B]

Is it a cruising spot?

[C]

Jake, I don't get the meme. This is Ru.

[B]

Where was this from you, Ru. When was this from Euphoria. Oh, my God.

[C]

Season three of Euphoria, I think we said on the last podcast, the one that came out for the New Year's.

[B]

I didn't say nothing about Euphoria because

[C]

I didn't want it. No, about Euphoria, we were talking about just the amazing TV that's coming out in 2026. Everyone was. Everyone in the chat was like, we agree. 2026 is going to be amazing. Can I talk about heated rivalry? Have you watched it yet?

[B]

No, but I can finally talk about something else you want to talk about, because the other day, I stayed up and binged every ounce of season two of Squid Game, the Challenge.

[C]

And what'd you think?

[B]

It is a brilliant show.

[C]

So good, right?

[B]

The Challenge is one of the best reality TV shows out right now. It is on par with Drag Race and the Traitors.

[C]

I love Perla. I'm so happy she won.

[B]

I'm happy that she won. But I will say she was tripping during shoots and ladders.

[C]

No, that guy was tripping. What do you mean?

[B]

This is why she was tripping. So, Perla, spoiler alert. You already said she won, so you didn't give any. Spoiler alert, girl.

[C]

This came out last year.

[B]

Just like you spoiled our.

[C]

Our money. This came out last year.

[B]

I'm not saying I spoiled something from five years ago. And they were chewing me up. They devoured me in the chat. But Perla is doing. Doing shoots and ladders slides. Like, they were really. They kept saying slide. They were like, don't sue us.

[C]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[B]

Hasbro. During slides and ladders. She would that. You have to send someone back down.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

And Perla was like, I'm gonna choose this. These two guys, because I don't know anyone from this team. I can't do it to anyone else. I'm choosing. I choose you. And then he was like, bet. He was like, bet, Bet. Bitch. And then he had the chance to send someone back, and he chose her. She's like, wow. Petty. And he was. Why? He was like, girl, I couldn't do it. Anyone else either. He was like, you chose me. I chose you. To me, that's fair.

[C]

That is fair. I will say.

[B]

And then she's so there was one woman who was at the, like, at the finish line. She was like, three, Like, a three or more away. And then they were like, send someone back to the beginning. She chose to send them back. They have to go all, yo. This is an actual giant border shoot. You have to. L literally take Ladders.

[C]

Yeah, like, huge.

[B]

So she's like, okay. So when she walked by, Pearl is crying and she's like, I'm sorry. And then she goes, tell that to my son.

[C]

That I can't with people throwing their kids.

[B]

Honestly.

[C]

She ate.

[B]

She ate. And then Pearl was like, I can't believe she said that. I was like, you sent her all the way back. And by the way. And she was eliminated that round.

[C]

Was she?

[B]

Yes, that was around. She was eliminated.

[C]

Yeah. I mean, when people, so many people in that show start throwing their kids, I'm like, and, bitch, I have things that I'm fighting for too.

[B]

I would have wished Pearl would've been like. And. But Pearl was like, I can't believe she would use her kids. Bitch, I would.

[C]

You're the one.

[B]

I'll weaponize my dead grandma fully alive. I'll weaponize this. So that woman played how you would've played. So this is true. So how are you gonna judge her?

[C]

This is true.

[B]

You know what I mean?

[C]

But watching it, I guess because she was in confessional talking about she really has a kid. Like, she was like. She's like, yeah, my son is this and that and the other. Okay. People have other things they're fighting for too. And those shows. I've said this many times on the podcast. It kills me, especially on Drag Race. And people go, y' all don't know how hard I work to get here. Yes, I do. I've been doing drag for six years, seven nights a week.

[B]

I'll take it a step further.

[C]

What?

[B]

I don't care. I don't care how hard you worked here. I worked hard and I also want it.

[C]

Yeah, like, that's, that's crazy. People try to throw that in your face. Like, you don't know how hard I work to get here.

[B]

I will say this too, though. What was your favorite part of. What was your favorite part of the chat? Our late ass review. What was your favorite part of the favorite. Like your favorite part of the whole series?

[C]

My favorite part of the series of the season was.

[B]

I know. Mine.

[C]

I saw it so long ago. I don't. I don't even remember all the challenges. Oh, I did, like, the second one where you had to do the, the six different things around that circle thing.

[B]

Oh, the, the, the, the. The. The six legged race.

[C]

Well, it was more. It was like.

[B]

It was called the six legged race.

[C]

Oh, my God. Oh, I. I talked about it on my thing.

[B]

The.

[C]

The card.

[B]

Actually insane. That was actually insane. So you. So you, you, you. You you have to have. You tie six people to. You tie six people to. No, four people together. Six people together. I can't remember.

[C]

Yeah, well, some number.

[B]

And, you know, six people, because they have six games, and you have to do. So you have to do the ball.

[C]

Each person has to do one challenge,

[B]

but all tied together.

[C]

All tied together. Yeah.

[B]

And one of the teams had had a little person on the team.

[C]

I didn't notice that.

[B]

Yeah, one. One team had, like, a little person, and they were like. They actually ate with her, like, getting her through, which I was like, they. I feel like they. That feels like they should make a concession for your.

[C]

No, the real. The real squid game wouldn't do it. So I think they shouldn't, like, whatever.

[D]

You.

[C]

You just got to do it.

[B]

We've had this conversation, but I think they should make a concession for someone who is differently abled. But anyway, that's the point. So one person do the ball in the cup where you have a string. A ball. A cup with a stick. Like an upside down bell, basically.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

And then the bell's out of it, and then you have to get it in there, and then someone has to build a car tower. This one woman, she was like, oh, I should have told you all I shake, girl. Y'. All.

[C]

Literally. So they all did. They know what the six things are.

[B]

She was Corey King in those cars. Those cars was cr. I mean, they.

[C]

Before they get to the thing, everyone knows what thing they're gonna do.

[D]

She.

[B]

She, like.

[C]

They said, who wants to do car tower? She says, you're gonna do it when it gets to the car tower, y', all.

[B]

When I tell y', all, this bitch

[C]

is shaking like a leaf. She is vibrating.

[B]

Literally crumbled.

[C]

She's vibrating. She's, like, doing like this, and she can't even touch the car attendant. They had one lady looking at her

[B]

like, I don't really understand what the dice game was.

[C]

I didn't get it either.

[B]

They should have explained it. I'm a gag. They had an intricate game they chose just not to explain at all.

[C]

Yeah, I didn't get the dice game. I never played that game before. I didn't know it.

[B]

The best part of the season. Oh, my God. I probably rebounded, like, three times. Viper in the catch game. Viper.

[C]

Which game was it? Which one?

[B]

Viper. The tall gay guy. So they were playing catch, and then. So just so you guys know.

[C]

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[B]

The way that this catch game works is. He's gay. Yeah, he's gay.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Oh, he used to do drag.

[C]

Really? How do you know this? Did you look him up after the show?

[B]

Did I look him up? Look at this, man. Did I look him up? Keep it a buck, mo.

[C]

Let's be real. Oh, wow.

[B]

So everyone stands on these, like, these dots that are far away from the middle, facing the middle. I mean, and some people are further back, and you have to throw the ball to someone, and they have to catch it. That's kind of the point of the whole game. And obviously, the further back you go, the harder it is to catch. And not only that. Yeah, this is Viper. Go to Viper's bicycle.

[C]

Wow, look at his body, girl. Jesus Christ.

[B]

I'm about to go take a soulcycle cast class. Viper's coming back for season. For season three.

[C]

How you know?

[B]

The fans voted on it.

[C]

Okay, wait, finish this.

[B]

So the way the game works is if I throw you the ball and you miss it, we're both out.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

So the two people who engage in a catch that does not go through you are both out of the game.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

So Viper, at one point, there's this guy with this big, fluffy hair. He had beautiful. They both have beautiful hair, actually. Viper has these. These. These cute locks. And then this other guy had this, like, long, flowy hair. And then there were. He was really far away, but he was the closest one. And Viper was like, I'm gonna choose you. And the guy was like, well, you're not choosing me, because I'm not gonna turn around. He's like, I'm literally not. I'm not even gonna catch it. I'm literally not even gonna catch everyone, because this one girl, I can't catch, she goes. I literally. She was like, do I look like I can catch? And then there's other folks really far away. So the closest one, this guy with the long, flowy hair, and he was like, if you throw it at me, we're both gonna be out. Cause I'm literally not gonna turn around. I'm not even gonna look at you. Yeah, so throw it to me if you want to. I will not. I'm protecting my team. Just like they protect their team. I'm protecting my team. And Viper was, like. He was, like, so emotional. He was like. He was like, I choose number three. Four, Whatever the number was. And then. And then the guy, he called his bluff, and the guy was like, fuck. He turned around, and then, like, Viper was, like, crying, and he. He threw the ball, and forth they hit the slow mot. First of all, when Viper caught it, bricked up. It was so good. And then when the guy. He threw it to the guy and the guy. It bounced off his hands. And, you know, I felt bad for the nerd.

[C]

Which one?

[B]

The nerd guy.

[C]

Oh, yes. Oh, my God. The guy with the balding head with the beard. The redhead guy.

[B]

No, he was not. Not even a little red. Completely dark brown. Every bit of hair on his body was completely dark brown. I thought he was a little like, Jacob Player 100.

[C]

You better know his number.

[B]

It was 100. Because at one point, she goes, you're gonna catch. He goes, yes. And he points to Jesse. He goes, 100. I'm gonna catch it. 100 Z. Jacob.

[C]

Is that not red and brown?

[B]

Yes, that is not red. Yes, that is not red. This is. This is brown hair. Monet.

[D]

Oh, wow.

[B]

Anyway, he has. It was. His outing was so. It was tragic.

[C]

It was tragic. Yeah. It's a good show.

[B]

And to watch the ball bounce off his face. Fingers. And he was so mad at himself.

[C]

So, you know, for the first season of this, they did the LA Experience. But you were on tour with Madonna. And so. But me. Me and Andy went. Me and Kim. Me and Kim. Meet Kim. And Rob Anderson went.

[B]

Who lasted the longest?

[C]

I won every time. I went. I went three times, and I beat the whole game. The entire game three times. And then they tell you. So at the end, they bring into this room, and you can. Like they said, we'll. If you do this or this. This is your audition, not your. For your application for the show, and we'll slide it to the top. And I. But I never heard anything back. I would have absolutely done it.

[B]

You wouldn't want to do Squid Game.

[C]

I would want to do it.

[B]

They would target you.

[C]

I don't think people. People know it was me.

[B]

Girl, I think money is 400. So if you were. So Viper follows us online, by the way, does he? Yes, he does. He's a. He's a. He's a Patreon. Oh, so Viper would be like, that's one exchange. You gotta go.

[C]

Why would he. No, we can be having an alliance. Why do you think I'm the target? We could be an alliance.

[B]

They're like. They're like, why? You don't need this. Your mother owns cell phone towers in St. Lucia. You got to go.

[C]

Because you've been telling these fucking lies about me.

[B]

You got to go.

[D]

You see?

[C]

Do you see how you. Do you see how you are, like, how you can affect me with the things you say?

[B]

Your mother does own a cell phone tower.

[C]

She does not own cell phone towers. There was a guy that. He was. He.

[A]

He.

[C]

He was a. He's a gambler. He's a Professor.

[B]

Poker player.

[C]

$6.4 million more than squid game.

[B]

Yes. Mormons quit game. So that's why he didn't tell anyone.

[C]

I know. Well, he told that lady at the end.

[B]

But then she immediately got outed during shuffleboard.

[C]

Uh huh. And he lucky.

[B]

Yeah. Cause she would have been like. Cause she left and she was like. She was basically like, what the fuck are you here for? How did you feel about the redhead who lied about his newborn child on his birthday?

[C]

I don't remember that.

[B]

He was like. They were like, oh.

[C]

But he came clean really soon afterwards.

[B]

But to one person.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

And then he was immediately. She was like. She was like. She was literally like, why would you do that? Yeah, she was like, why would you do that?

[C]

If he went on more, I would have had more feelings about it. But he like he. As soon as he died.

[B]

What are you feeling? You said you would lie.

[C]

I know, but hearing other people do it, I think it's mean for all we.

[B]

So is this, Is this kind of some sort of penance for what you're about to do in the traders? Do you see the error of your ways that was going on here?

[C]

No, I don't see the error of

[B]

my ways that I believe can confirm. I don't think money's ever seen an error of a way she's ever had anything to do with.

[C]

You're so ridiculous.

[B]

I'm ridiculous?

[C]

Yes.

[B]

Okay. I want to open a conversation real quick too. Monet has this idea that I am the most ridiculous person she knows, which is the people you know.

[C]

Bob, what I said is your group of friends. You've often said that in your group of friends that you're Doug. If y' all don't know. Doug is a show from the 90s cartoon.

[B]

This is for the Gen Z's.

[C]

Doug is a is a plane. Like everyone around Doug is eccentric and crazy, but Doug is the straight man. He's. I said Bob is the most eccentric person I know. And he said Monet. How?

[B]

I said girl.

[C]

You literally called me two months ago. You're like, monet, I just bought a PT cruise. I was like, wow. You're like, just own it. That is eccentric behavior.

[B]

It's less weird than you.

[C]

It's eccentric. I'm not saying less weird than me. It is eccentric. You're not Doug. Doug is not buying a car to stone it.

[B]

But it's compared to the people around me.

[C]

And it is eccentric.

[B]

But compared to the people around. Like for example, if everyone in my family is six, nine and taller, I am the shortest one. It doesn't make me short, but I am. But I would be the shorty of the group. I'm not short and I'm the shortest one of the group.

[C]

And I say to the people around you, you are the most eccentric.

[B]

No.

[C]

Who. Who is more eccentric than you?

[B]

Everyone in this room, maybe.

[C]

Except Kane.

[B]

Kane's the only one who's just plain as hell. I mean, Taylor is nutty. A squirrel turn. Not more than you always got. Always got some shit going on. Taylor's life is a comedy of errors. Literally dying at outside lands or outside of city limits. Acl.

[C]

Outside the city limits.

[B]

Jacob. Jacob. Jacob's bizarre.

[C]

Jacob is bizarre. Jacob is eccentric.

[B]

For sure, you're bizarre.

[C]

Yeah, but say we're all numbers in this room. Kane is. Doug, you're a skeeter in this room.

[B]

Kane is. Hey, Arnold. For sure.

[C]

And you're Helga. G. Pataki. You're Helga. Jeep. Pataki.

[B]

Monet. Your notion, this you trying to thread the needle. That I'm some villainous person is not one is not working.

[C]

Bob. You were literally. Every show you've been on tv, you've been a villain.

[B]

That is not true.

[C]

The traitors. You were literally. Again, you were a titular character of the TV show.

[B]

Again.

[C]

I was a traitor.

[B]

Again, I was ch. To be a traitor. Okay, you were still being a traitor doesn't make you a villain. It's the way you behave in the castle.

[C]

And you are a villain.

[B]

But what did I.

[C]

You killed Dorinda on the first night for no reason.

[B]

Do it again. But none of my. Nothing I did in the ca. In the castle was villainous.

[C]

Killing Darinda is villainous.

[B]

Monet, you have to kill. I did not Ch you. What makes you a villain on a show is not the role you're cast in. It is what you do. The activities you create while you're there.

[C]

Correct.

[B]

So you think. So you think real quick. So with your full chest, look into your camera and say that Cerise a villain.

[C]

That Who?

[B]

Saree. Season one. Winner of season one.

[C]

Oh, sorry. That is known about in Drag Race and Survivor. Cerise a villain.

[B]

So. So. And look in the camera and what literally? Exactly. You know, your whole. Your whole. Your whole. Your whole thesis. Your whole thesis crumbled. I meant to say pieces on we're here. I was the hero.

[C]

I mean, but you gotta compare who you were with by comparison. Sure.

[B]

Crazy on Drag Race. I was the hero.

[C]

You are not.

[B]

I defeated the villain.

[C]

Who was the villain?

[B]

Derek.

[D]

Barry.

[C]

Derek. You and Derek were villains together. You, Derek and Astin were the villains.

[B]

Villains don't fight each other.

[C]

That's not true.

[B]

We're villains by each other.

[C]

What villains fight each other? Lex Luthor and fucking Grok. Lex Luthor used to fight literally all.

[B]

You mean Lex Luthor and the AI from Twitter.

[C]

No, not Grok. What's his name? Lex Luthor Fought a lot.

[B]

Lex Luthor and GPT.

[C]

Lex Luthor used to fight the other villains all the time. The ape guy. Grodd. Grodd. Sorry. There we go. Grodd.

[B]

Grok is crazy fight the fight. Malgorythm fighting algorithm is crazy talk.

[C]

Wait, since this podcast. Okay, let's think of. Rick, I wanna ask you a question.

[B]

And listen, guys, if you do not want to see this ad or an ad ever again, you can please join the Sibling rivalry patreon. Go to patreon.com and type in Sibling rivalry podcast. You'll never have to hear me say this again. All right, here comes some ads.

[C]

Hey, it's Ryan Reynolds here for Mint Mobile. Now I was looking for fun ways to tell you that Mint's offer of unlimited Premium Wireless for $15 a month this back. So I thought it would be fun if we made $15 bills, but it turns out that's very illegal. So there goes my big idea for the commercial. Give it a [e-mail] Switch upfront payment

[A]

of $45 for three months, $90 for six months or $180 for a 12 month plan. Required $15 per month equivalent taxes and fees. Extra initial plan term only greater than 50 gigabytes. Me slow when network is busy. See terms.

[C]

What are some big hopes or. Or goals you have for our podcast?

[B]

Oh, for our podcast. Let me think real hard about that because we've achieved so much, which I'm really grateful for and proud of. I mean, I would love to go back to doing some live shows. It's been a minute. I think the last one we did was actually with. With Patreon. No, the last one was in San Francisco. No, last one we did in San Diego.

[C]

Yeah, and we're doing one in March at the little Roadie Festival in Rhode Island. So if you are in Rhode island, you can go to Bob the Drag Queen.com to get tickets. I mean, see Bob the Drag Queen to get tickets or monations.

[B]

See the Drag Queen.

[C]

See the Drag Queen.

[B]

You don't pay attention to Anything? I.

[C]

Come on, Bob the Queen and go to monations.com to get tickets to see us. It's going to be March 26th in Rhode Island. So that's a. That's a live show. We're doing this here.

[B]

Rhode island is the smallest state in the country.

[C]

Yeah, I believe that it's really tiny.

[B]

Can Rhode island fit in Manhattan?

[C]

No.

[B]

No, no, no, no, no. That would be crazy.

[C]

That would be insane.

[B]

That would be crazy.

[C]

See?

[B]

But it could definitely fit in Long Island.

[C]

Yeah, for sure. Oh, yeah, for sure.

[B]

Rhode island to Manhattan.

[C]

Oh, wow. Three Rhode Islands can fit in Los Angeles.

[B]

So how many we got in Long island then?

[C]

LA is pretty big though.

[B]

Maybe it can't fit in Long Island. Long island is massive. I don't even realize how big.

[C]

Oh, yeah. Long island is huge, girl. To get from point A to point, do you go to end of Long island to the. To Brooklyn? You're looking at like three, four hours. Four hours, five hours.

[B]

Yeah. Long island is low key. The Texas of the north.

[C]

Okay. What the hell? Because it's big and Republican. Honestly, one Goliath for us. I would love to get us another GLAAD Award.

[B]

Bob.

[C]

Don't do that, sister.

[B]

I have doubt not. Aw, Maybe let's aim for a queerty.

[C]

Queerty. Damn.

[B]

I mean, I love the queerties, but let's get a wowie. Uh, let's go back. Let's go. Let's move to New York and get a glam.

[C]

I think we should bring back your Slammy Awards.

[B]

I actually thought about bringing back the slammies.

[C]

Bring back the slammies. I'm a trigger.

[B]

Cause you two are like a big trigger in my. In my me. But you and Taylor.

[C]

Why was that the night of the chair?

[B]

That was the night of the chair.

[C]

Oh, God, we can't have to tell that story again.

[B]

Have we told the story of the POD before?

[C]

We have.

[D]

We have.

[B]

So this is the first time that we've done it with Taylor here, so maybe we can tell it again. We'll let Taylor go buy your microphone.

[C]

Yeah, come on.

[B]

He don't want to be on camera. He is such a phony ass fake bitch. He's so fake. Taylor. Taylor wiggle his way into every TV show in America. But I don't want to.

[D]

I've never been on a TV show.

[C]

Jay, Jay, Jay always sends me pictures of Taylor somewhere.

[D]

When I cross the camera, he takes screenshots of my ass and microphone at your mouth. He called it your shoulder. Sibling spankery.

[B]

He's like.

[C]

He's like, why, why say Lord said to get the camera ass shot.

[B]

So for those of you who are new here, years ago, I used to host something called the Slammy Awards in New York City. This was the worst of New York City Night Live. We had best breakdown, best fight of

[C]

the year, worst, whatever.

[B]

Maybe you should lip sync. And the ultimate award was the cunt of the year. Recipients have been Sherry vine and Bianca Del Rio.

[C]

I never won a Slammy Award.

[D]

The Slammy Awards were low key, giving people mental breakthroughs.

[B]

Point the mic at your mouth and not your shoulder, y'. All. This is what Taylor's doing, y'. All. Taylor's like, I'm new here. Jesus Christ.

[D]

Anyway, they would give people mental breakdowns.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Yes. And there were, there were epic moments at the Slammy Awards. Marty Goldcomers coming in, yelling at everyone. And also a tradition at the Slamming Awards where you would dress up like someone else from New York City nightlife. So you would, you would, you would dawn them as a costume.

[C]

And Bob would make all the, all the trophies. You like, get a heel and you would spray paint them gold.

[B]

And I would get dolls, decorate the dolls. And I put them in the shoe.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

So we're headed down to the Slam Awards and I am running a little late. Not actually, I'm not running. I'm just getting, I'm cutting it really close. Actually. We made it on time. But I remember, like, I was struggling to get my wig on.

[D]

Well, anytime you got to the hair,

[C]

the hair, the mood for some reason, every. So Taylor and I were in Bob's apartment. I was in drag. Taylor was hanging out. Cause we were all going together and Bob was getting ready. And we're all in Bob's apartment. And the night, the evening is lovely. We're all chilling, so much fun. We're chill, lovely, kikiing, laughing, having a good time. It was celebration. It was slamming night. We were excited and jubilant.

[B]

We were in a good mood.

[C]

And I still said every, every time Bob gets to the hair, I don't know what was it you would hear. You would, you would.

[D]

Plates shifting.

[B]

I will say this when. So this was before I was bald and I had hair. So when you have actual hair on your head, it is harder to glue.

[C]

I think you're bald already, girl.

[B]

No, I was not bald. I, I, I vividly remember because I had my, my little locks on top and I had not shaved my, the size of my head. So when you have hair, it's harder to glue. You ever experience this in time?

[C]

No, I never. I've been bald.

[B]

But even if you forget to shave and you have, like, a little bit on the side, you don't. You don't ever run.

[C]

I'll just shave. That little savine be balding everywhere.

[B]

But if you're. I love when Queens used to have just sideburns up to here. That sends me. So I hadn't shaved the size of my head yet, and it's just hard to glue the hair down. And I was like. I was struggling, and I was like, okay, I'm just gonna put on a different wig. So I'm. So. I'm in a bad. I'm getting in a bad mood because I'm like. I'm Spent more time gluing my wig down than I wanted to, and I'm looking for.

[C]

And it's evolving. He's like.

[B]

He's like this glue, and he's like, I want. It's this, like, kind of Diana Rossi.

[C]

Okay, no, girl, it was your. It was your nappy.

[B]

No, it was not.

[C]

It was a matted wig.

[B]

I'm telling you. I know the story, because I feel

[D]

like you were, like, doing a base with a donut.

[B]

I'm telling you, this is how I know. This is how I know what it was, because I found the book that I wanted to wear. It was this, like, big, kind of Diana Rossi curly wig. Oh.

[A]

Oh.

[C]

What you were gonna put on that was. Oh, God. I got it.

[B]

So I found the wig. I was like, this wig works. I only have to. I only have to glue it in two little spots because it was. It was the way the wig was made. So I'm. I. I found the wig. I'm actually resetting, and I'm actually getting calm again. And because I told her. I was like. I was like, you guys, help me find this one wig. I need help finding this wig. So everyone's looking for the wig. So this Taylor has this bright idea.

[D]

No, no. You dropped something.

[C]

You dropped something. That's what it was.

[D]

I think it was. You were putting, like, spirit gum under the lace. Hair was getting into the lace, so you were trying to get it out. I feel like it was the. The. The brush from the.

[C]

The mastic brush, and you dropped it.

[B]

So we're. And it kind of. You know, when something drops, something goes into the abyss. You drop, it vanishes. So then we're all. We're all looking for the thing. I find the thing. I am. My energy is now reset. I'm like, wow, we're back on track. I feel so good. And then I go to sit down.

[C]

This is reverse.

[D]

Okay, but, but so it falls. You stand up because it's now under the desk.

[C]

So, Taylor.

[D]

So I'm like, let me give you

[C]

some room to bend down down there, because y', all, we're in Bob's. This was Bob's first apart. Well, 945Amsterdam. It is a tiny apartment, so the thing flew under the tear. So we're like, oh, we need to help. We. Let's find it. So Taylor, like, moved it so you can have space underneath the tiny dash.

[B]

Mind you moved it behind my back.

[D]

Well, where else was it?

[C]

Where's it gonna go to be clear

[B]

and not like a tap, tap. Hey, I move the chair. So I, I grab it.

[D]

I mean, it's, like, natural again.

[B]

My mood is reset. I am prepared. I'm not prepared.

[D]

Two out of three say no.

[B]

I was like, whoa.

[C]

I'm

[B]

saying, I love you too, so much.

[D]

I'm pretty sure there was, like, grunting noises.

[B]

I appreciate you all so much for being here this moment.

[D]

Never.

[B]

And then I go to sit down in the chair that was there when I stood up. The chair is. Is gone. I, I slam into the floor of it of it of a pre war walk up. I, I'm surprised I didn't go down to the third floor.

[D]

Literally.

[B]

I slammed.

[D]

We all shook.

[B]

And then everyone bounced. You know that thing when you, when you fall? But the chair was right behind. So I, I, I scraped my back on the chair.

[C]

Okay, scratch.

[B]

I, I hit my head.

[C]

Okay, hit your head and scrape the so much. And it was.

[B]

You remember that. That lime green.

[C]

Yeah, Poppy had this random lime green lawn chair in this house that he used at the table sometimes.

[B]

No, that was a table as a chair. You said it's a chair.

[C]

It was a chair.

[B]

And then I had the matching table

[C]

next to it, right? So then Bob's on the floor, and then he just goes, hey, yeah.

[B]

I, I, When I tell y', all, I am se. You could have cooked an omelette on my forehead. I was so mad.

[D]

But as soon as you hit, it was silent.

[C]

Silent. I was like.

[D]

We were like.

[C]

And then. And then Bob brings us on to goes, there was a chair here.

[D]

There was a chair here.

[B]

So I am now seething. The wig is, like, askew.

[D]

But what Bob couldn't see, the wig is giving this. What Bob couldn't see is me and Monet looking at each other, like, trying to hold in laughter while also fearing for our lives.

[C]

Fear for your lives.

[D]

Just like the Rage that's not chewed.

[B]

So then. So I was so mad. And I will say I could have just adjusted of the wig, but I was so livid. I took this beautiful wig. I can't remember who made it. Was one of my favorite wigs of time. I grab it and I just ripped

[C]

it off his head.

[B]

Ripped this wig off my head.

[C]

Eyebrows came off, skin came off. Just ripped it off his head. You put it down, then you stood up. And y', all, when I tell you. Bob reached to his wig shelf and pulled out the mangiest, mangled ball of a wig. This red wig he would like.

[B]

I wore it on Drag Race for the wizard of Oz challenge.

[C]

And Bob pull this wig off his head. He fl.

[B]

He fl. He laughing. To be clear, I grabbed that wig because it was one. It was indestructible. And you didn't have to glue it. That's why I grabbed it.

[C]

And then he grabbed his bag. Tote bag. He said that you made. We have to go. Let's go.

[D]

Yeah. It was like five seconds after you fell to. When we were out the door. And Monet and I fearing our lives.

[B]

This is pre Uber. My. This pre Uber is we have to actually stand downstairs and hell, a cab.

[D]

Yeah.

[B]

We're like awkwardly standing around.

[D]

We get in and the cab driver's like, we're. We're too.

[A]

Sir.

[C]

He's talking to Monet.

[B]

Cuz he was talking to me.

[C]

Huh.

[D]

But the stares down. Me and Monae are like holding each other, slapping each other.

[C]

Like, this is like.

[D]

This is so funny.

[B]

Y' all are so such bad friends.

[D]

We were there for you.

[C]

We're there for you.

[B]

Yeah. You know, you're there for the. For the humor chair. Pulling ass. All right, let's bring Jacob back to the podcast.

[D]

That was.

[B]

That was. That was Back shots Taylor or Rare Taylor. Back shots are rare. Yeah. I'm very proud of this award.

[C]

And so we had to figure out who gets to keep it.

[B]

That we've figured it out. Why do you get to keep it? Because I'm the one who went and picked it up.

[C]

Where'd you pick it up from? Down the hallway.

[B]

I went down to the Signal Awards. I went down to. No, I went down to Signal. I went down to Signal Awards over on Sunset.

[C]

And what's the address?

[B]

I don't remember. I put it in my Google.

[C]

Huh.

[B]

I went down to Signal wars on Sunset and I picked this up myself.

[C]

I said, well, no. No one even notified me that this happened.

[B]

No.

[C]

Who told you?

[B]

Actually, Tracy handed this to me,

[C]

and

[B]

then Tracy handed it to me.

[C]

Okay, so we. I think it has to. We have to split custody. You get. You get it for half of the year. I get it for half of the year.

[B]

We can just do a one round of rock, paper, scissors.

[C]

That's too high of a stake. That's crazy. Robert says, let's see who gets to keep it in perpetuity.

[B]

I think that's fair.

[C]

I don't think that's fair. I think the fairest way is to just.

[B]

No, actually, I'm keeping this. This is not enough for debate. Because you took the queerty against my will. You took our queerity.

[C]

I did not take it. Jacob gave me the queety.

[B]

You gave Monet the queerity.

[C]

Yes, you did, Jacob. You gave me the query. When we were at your apartment. You gave me the query.

[B]

Jacob, hold on to this. Don't grab other headphones, because since you took the queer. Since you stole the query.

[C]

Oh, my God.

[B]

Since you stole the queerty. I think we figured this out already.

[C]

Jacob gave me the query.

[B]

So you're so you.

[C]

We.

[B]

So we know you lied. Cut. Can we insert the clip of money on the. On the. On the. The Traders promo saying, I lie.

[C]

Your hands are so soft.

[B]

Thank you.

[C]

I want to give you a couple of my hands.

[B]

They're so strong. There's five fingers on that hand. And the tattoos are nice. What do you have. What goals do you have for the podcast this year?

[C]

So I want us to. I would like us to get another GLAAD Award. I mean, this is a huge. This is. I understand. This is a crazy. A very long.

[B]

You want a Golden Globe?

[C]

A Golden Globe. At least nominated. I don't know how we get there.

[B]

Girl. Going against up first is going to be crazy.

[C]

Girl call her daddy up first.

[B]

I mean, up first is like. Like, for me, up first is like the pinnacle of podcasts, really. I. I mean, next to. Do you know my favorite podcast of all time?

[C]

Yes. Consider this. No. Oh, this American Life.

[B]

Gang.

[C]

Gang. I know you like.

[B]

I mean, it's gonna be hard to compete with npr. Also, they lost their funding, so if you guys want to go and donate to npr.

[C]

Is they really.

[B]

They're approaching a full year. Yes, it is a. Npr. National Public Radio.

[C]

Right. So what?

[D]

Because.

[C]

Because Trump cut it off.

[B]

Yeah. He cut funding for npr.

[C]

You see? Oh, yeah. You know what? We're not gonna poison ourselves with that today. Yeah.

[B]

So

[C]

some. Some more critical claim for the pod.

[B]

What was this? Tell me your goals for your YouTube page. Because Monet is relaunching her YouTube career.

[C]

Yeah, my YouTube.

[B]

I haven't been invited to do your makeup, which is.

[C]

I was literally gonna ask you today, but you're literally gone for two months.

[B]

But, like, two months.

[C]

Because of my goals. Okay? So right Now I'm at 157 subscribers. As we. As I live and breathe. Today, my goal, 157,000. Just 157,000. My goal is to get to 250 by the end of the year, and I think I can get 100,000 subscribers in a year.

[B]

Oh, for sure. But if you're consistent.

[C]

Consistent, consistent, consistent.

[B]

I would love to get to a million by the end of the year.

[C]

I guess I see that for you.

[B]

It feels scary.

[C]

You could do it.

[B]

Very scary. I'm at 600,000, and that's great.

[C]

How long did it take you to get there?

[B]

Five years. But I took some considerable breaks from. From YouTubing for tour and for tour.

[C]

Well, you know, I said on my. I did a. I made a trailer video. People like. And I was like, you know, coming back, you never left. I was like. Because I've been doing Monet talks, and it's been coming out on air.

[B]

People are like, monet talks.

[C]

Would you. If I asked you to do a Bob version of the promo. Now you're a singer. Now you're a Broadway singer.

[B]

I've been a singer. Go ahead.

[C]

Would you. Would you. Would you do it for me? Yeah.

[B]

I mean, you want me to sing what you singing?

[A]

No.

[C]

You can write your own. Your own version of it.

[B]

Your own remix, like, with the same beat or what? Yeah. The answer is yes, I would.

[C]

The Bob the Drag Queen, Monet Talks remix.

[B]

The answer is yes, I would do it.

[C]

Okay, first.

[B]

But when you're back, you really want to change the theme song?

[C]

I would. I wouldn't. I wouldn't change it. I would use it in different ways. Like, I want you to do one. I want Meatballs to do one. Because I do think Meatballs is fun, funny, sitting down the gap and then the bb.

[B]

Oh, is this something she wrote for you? She came on the show.

[C]

She just made her own version of it. I think it's very funny.

[B]

I like Meatball.

[C]

I really. She did.

[B]

She's controversial. Some people don't with her.

[D]

Why?

[C]

What does she do? Because she's messy, maybe. I did. I did an episode of Sloppy Seconds, which is out now, and I took an Adderall, which I've never done before.

[B]

And I was perk.

[C]

I was wild. I had an afters. I had. I mean, I don't care. I had an afters at my house and for someone's birthday. And then I was doing. I was filming pit stop that next morning. So we did Hot dog Sunday all day. Had an afters in my house from like 11 to like 4 o' clock in the morning.

[B]

Was I in town?

[C]

No, you weren't in town. You weren't tour. This is the one I was doing thing anyway.

[B]

Convenient. Can you give me the date? I'll cross reference.

[C]

I don't remember.

[B]

It was someone's birthday.

[C]

It was January last year.

[B]

It was someone's birthday.

[C]

It was January last year.

[B]

So I think that you're gonna be able to tell me.

[C]

First of all, you Gen X ass. Put your flashlight off, you old bitch.

[B]

That's so embarrassing. Having your flashlight beyond is so embarrassing. I don't know what it is about it, but you just get so embarrassed. So in January, let me be clear. I was in town the whole month. The whole month.

[C]

You were in town every day of January.

[B]

Every day.

[C]

You're so full of it.

[B]

No, I was in Europe from the 15th on.

[C]

Thank you. Anyway. Oh, yeah, you were on tour. You definitely weren't here because Andy wasn't at the house. So y' all were handy's with you. And then. So I was up until like 4 o' clock in the morning. And by afters, I think people have a weird, really weird thing about.

[B]

We know no people. I mean, we know what you were doing.

[C]

No, we were drinking and playing Smash and doing Adderall. No, we weren't doing Adderall. So then I was up until like 4 o' clock in the morning. I was like, bitch, I can't. I have like. They're picking me up for pick. Stop, the car's coming in.

[B]

You're telling me right now all y' all did was drink and play Smash?

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

No one popped a perk?

[C]

No.

[B]

No one smoked over marijuana?

[C]

No.

[B]

No one did a bump. How many people were there?

[C]

It was maybe like 15, 20 people.

[B]

Bitch, not after. That's after school. Smash can only. Only eight people can play Smash at once.

[C]

I have three televisions in my home.

[B]

And you have three switches.

[C]

Hey.

[B]

Yeah, one of them.

[C]

Big money.

[B]

Big money. Three TVs. Three TVs.

[C]

You have three in your home?

[B]

I have one TV in my home.

[C]

No, it has that. Okay? You have a TV and a fucking projector.

[B]

Those two T. Projector. We have two TVs in our home. One in the game room and one in the guest bedroom of the game room. It's literally the game room. To be clear, Jacob and I opted out of having a dining room. So our game room is just where the dining room would be. To be clear. Where you have a dining room, we put up video games.

[C]

I'm just saying game room is cut.

[B]

It's the dining room with a video game.

[C]

Last night, we're in Bob's Hollywood home, honey. Or watching a bunch of us there watching a film. Watching Moulin Rouge on his big projector

[B]

in his living room.

[C]

And there was ample space. No one was cramped. Everyone was comfortable. And you were asleep for, like, 10 minutes.

[B]

Monet was out 10 minutes. Monet was.

[C]

Thank you for not waking me up, though. Andy would have woke me up.

[B]

Well, I mean, you've made it clear that you don't care about plots and anything. Monet will read a book, skip a chapter.

[C]

That's not true.

[B]

I would not do that and just hop back in Anyway.

[C]

So up until 4am the car was picking up for pit stop at 7am and then while everyone was leaving, I was like, girl, I have to wake up and, like, I'm gonna get, like, two hours of sleep. And one of my friends is like, oh, his Adderall. I was like, I never done Adderall before. He's like, yeah, what are you gonna do? You're gonna take. Take it when you're on your way to set, and then you'll be like, fresh as a daisy. I didn't do it. Cause I didn't want to do it. And then the other day, heading to sloppy seconds, I was like, I want to try the Adderall. And I did it before the podcast, and I was wild.

[B]

What does it feel like?

[C]

It just feel like you're really. I felt. I did feel very focused, but I already. Speak fast when I tell you. I said one sentence, and Meatball was like, what the did you just say?

[B]

I imagine if I was on N Roll, I would. It would be bizarre.

[C]

I think I might get focused more. Maybe.

[B]

I mean, allegedly, I have adhd.

[C]

Allegedly.

[B]

According to doctors.

[C]

According to doctors.

[B]

According to doctors.

[C]

I have one more Adderall. You want to try it? No, no, no, no, no. Why?

[B]

No, no, no, no, no.

[C]

It's not mood altering, Jake, with Taylor

[B]

trying to give me his fucking five ounce.

[C]

Oh, God.

[B]

Taylor said you would. Be quiet, please.

[C]

Taylor, we're crushing the foot of your food.

[B]

I think we've said enough here. Thank.

[C]

You.