Sibling Advicery: Balding/Straight Bars

Summary

SIBLING RIVALRY: Sibling Advicery – Balding/Straight Bars

Date: March 28, 2022
Hosts: Bob The Drag Queen & Monét X Change

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Episode Overview

In this advice-focused episode, Bob the Drag Queen and Monét X Change bring their signature banter and hilarious chemistry to a range of listener dilemmas. From hair loss and self-image to navigating attraction, race, and queerness in relationships and nightlife, the pair blend personal anecdotes with practical, if not always serious, advice. Expect candid discussions, sharp insights, and plenty of memorable quotables along the way.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Pop Culture, Clueless, and Musical Nostalgia ([01:09]–[13:31])

• The episode opens with a debate over the most iconic lines from the film Clueless, reflecting on 90s/00s nostalgia.

• Spirals into a discussion on celebrities like Stacey Dash (“She was hot, she's beautiful [...] She was the vixen in the Kanye video.” – Monét, [03:31]), and Kanye West's career, with Bob reflecting on his talent and controversy.

  “I think Kanye West is a very talented musician. [...] He has written some of my favorite songs of all time.” – Bob ([04:09])

• Brief musings on music business fairness—how little some featured vocalists on hit records get paid, referencing Macklemore, Michelle Visage, and industry practices.

2. Advice Segment #1: Dealing with Hair Loss ([13:53]–[23:40])

Listener Question:

Ben (26, Chicago) struggles with male hair loss, considering transplants but feeling self-conscious, especially as a teacher, and wants the hosts’ perspectives.

Insights:

• Monét’s Journey: Started losing hair around 22; felt self-conscious but used head shaving (after botched first attempts) as an act of liberation and self-acceptance.

  “A lot of it is just you—you’re seeing yourself in the mirror every day [...] you miss having a full head of hair. [...] It's just addressing your own insecurities.” – Monét ([16:02])

• Bob’s Journey: Noticed thinning in late 20s, shaved head quickly after an “it’s time” moment, and considered units (hairpieces). Stresses the importance of finding what makes you feel comfortable, notes the complex maintenance and social realities of pieces or transplants.

  “I think bald heads are sexy. [...] But also I think that a piece, a unit, like a Hair Club for Men situation is actually a very good idea.” – Bob ([19:18])

• Both offer nuanced takes on restoration surgery, hair units, and cultural differences in what options are accessible or look “good”. Humor about “Beijinging” and microbladed brows follows ([22:11]–[23:40]).

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3. Advice Segment #2: Broadening Attraction Beyond 'Muscle Guy' Types ([24:23]–[31:19])

Listener Question:

A self-described “retiring muscle queen” wants to move past only being attracted to “stereotypical muscle guys,” fearing his desires may not align with his heart.

Insights:

• Personal Evolution: Bob describes his own journey from only being attracted to guys like himself in college, to opening his mind in NYC and through exposure.
• The Role of Environment: Exposure to more diverse communities, and the experience of a “dry spell,” allowed for growth in preferences.

  “Access to other people helped me shift my perspective on what’s attractive. [...] Now, I’m very attracted to feminine guys—wasn’t at all in college.” – Bob ([25:53])

• Practical Advice: Both recommend the This American Life episode “Tell Me I’m Fat” to help shift perspectives about beauty, bodies, and self-love.
• Monét’s View: Points out she’s always been open to myriad looks and body types, suggests exploring why someone holds their current ideals.

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4. Advice Segment #3: Flirting at Straight Bars – How to Tell if He’s Gay? ([34:33]–[43:11])

Listener Question:

Seeking strategies for navigating attraction and flirting with seemingly gay men at straight bars.

Insights:

• Monét’s “Gay Eyes” Technique: Describes nonverbal clues and subtle approaches to gauge mutual interest and intent without being explicit, while reading the environment for safety and comfort.

  “Everyone knows gay eyes. I have done gay eyes so many times ... And then you wait to see if you’ll get beat up or if you’re gonna get [some].” – Monét ([35:36])

• Interlude: Brief and hilarious tangent as Bob searches for “punch fucking” videos to satisfy Monét’s curiosity about the term ([36:00]–[38:48]).
• Bob’s Perspective: Would rather not risk discomfort or danger at a straight bar—“I just wouldn’t say anything. I’d be like, it’s not worth it for me. I’ll just go to a gay bar.”

  “You would be hard-pressed to find me in a straight bar [...] I just wouldn’t be in a straight bar.” – Bob ([39:00])

• Discussion on “Looking Gay”: Playful debate over what counts as “looking gay” or “looking straight,” with Monét trying—and failing—to convince Bob she presents as straight outside drag ([41:13]).

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5. Advice Segment #4: Feeling Invisible Among Attractive People ([43:37]–[53:16])

Listener Question:

A woman shares the pain of feeling ignored by her friend's husband's conventionally attractive family members and asks whether to confront her friend.

Insights:

• Validation and Empathy: Bob connects her experience with broader themes (“…I felt like in these clubs and Hell’s Kitchen, I was just getting looked over” – [47:42]), discusses building a strong personality as a coping mechanism.

  “Why is my fat friend funnier than all my skinny friends? It’s because they develop this personality to be seen.” – Bob ([48:09])

• Advice: Both suggest it’s not worth confronting the inattentive men; instead, share feelings with core friends and lean into strengths—humor, style, or talents—to foster connection, but without seeking approval from people unlikely to change.

  “If you think attention from them will improve your life, then find that thing that the other bitches don’t have…” – Monet ([52:38])

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6. Advice Segment #5: Partner’s Racist Accent Imitation ([53:26]–[63:21])

Listener Question:

A Black woman dating a white man seeks advice after her boyfriend mocks nonwhite accents (specifically Indian), seeing nothing wrong with it.

Insights:

• Boundaries & Non-Negotiables: Monét stresses the act is racist, encourages a direct and serious conversation—this is about values, not just "crying racism."

  “You need to impress upon him how big this is to you. He seems to be diminishing what you’re saying… He's not understanding the gravity.” – Monét ([54:34])

• Bob’s Analysis: Frames the distinction between harmless mimicry (e.g., British accents) and how racialized accent imitation can reflect or reinforce harmful power dynamics.

  “White supremacy has made things that you should not be embarrassed about something shameful.” – Bob ([55:55])

• Practical Tactic: Suggest approaches that “hit closer to home” (e.g., comparing it to a “blackcent”) to help the partner understand.

  “Maybe flipping it—like babe, that would be like you doing a blackcent—maybe that’s the way to make it clearer.” – Monet ([59:29])

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• Monét on Hair Loss:
  “Every time I went to the barber shop, the comments are getting further and further back … I was like, bitch, it’s time.” ([14:48])

• Bob on Performing at Straight Bars:
  “You would be hard pressed to find me in a straight bar. Why would I be?” ([39:00])

• Bob on Visibility in Queer Spaces:
  “Why is my fat friend funnier than all my skinny friends? It’s because they develop this personality to be seen.” ([48:09])

• Monét on confronting problematic partners:
  “You need to impress upon him how big this is for you. [...] It's a non-negotiable.” ([54:34])

• Comic Interlude:
  Monét: “Can you punch fuck a vagina? Whoa, she's really into it...”
  Bob: “His ass is clapping back. It wasn't loose and goose. He had that snapback.” ([38:19])

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Important Timestamps

• 01:09 – Casual intro into “Clueless”, pop culture, Kanye West, and music nostalgia.
• 13:53 – First advice: Ben’s hair loss story & solutions.
• 24:23 – Second caller: learning to find new types of men attractive / internalized beauty standards.
• 34:33 – Third caller: Flirting & navigating queerness in straight bars.
• 43:37 – Fourth caller: Feeling invisible among conventionally attractive people.
• 53:26 – Fifth caller: Partner imitates problematic accents; how to handle.
• Throughout: Frequent detours into drag queen culture, gay scene commentary, and recurring playful digs at each other.

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Tone & Style

The episode is unfiltered, authentic, and packed with both humor and honesty. Bob and Monét oscillate between heartfelt vulnerability and riotous shade, always maintaining a supportive tone for listeners and a loving sibling-rival jibe between themselves. Their advice is part self-help, part stand-up, and always true to the realities of queer experience.

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Summary

This Sibling Advicery special blends practical advice, self-care wisdom, and queer cultural critique, all delivered with Bob and Monét’s trademark wit. Whether discussing the nuances of hair restoration, dating outside one's type, seeking validation, or confronting relationship red flags, the duo keeps things honest, empathetic, and, above all, entertaining.

Anyone grappling with self-image, acceptance, or awkward interpersonal dilemmas will find both comic relief and real-world insight in this episode.

Transcript

[Bob]

Close your eyes.

[Ad Voice 1]

Exhale.

[Caller 1]

Feel your body relax.

[Bob]

And let go of whatever you're carrying today.

[Ad Voice 1]

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[Ad Voice 2]

And breathe.

[Ad Voice 1]

Oh, sorry. I almost couldn't breathe when I saw the discount they gave me on my first order. Oh, sorry. Namaste.

[Monet]

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[Caller 2]

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[Monet]

What are you trying to say? Roll. Rolling with the homie.

[Bob]

Who is. What is that?

[Monet]

That's not familiar to you?

[Bob]

Rolling with the homies.

[Monet]

Rolling with the homie.

[Bob]

No.

[Monet]

Jacob, do you know that ripper?

[Bob]

No. What is that?

[Monet]

You never seen Clueless with?

[Bob]

I mean, I've seen. I've only seen Clueless once and it was probably when it came out.

[Monet]

It's like one of the most iconic parts of the film besides the Hadeans in that thing, that scene.

[Bob]

I would think the most iconic line from Clueless is probably. That's not a dress. Wait, what is it? It's like. It's not a dress. It is a dress. Says who? Calvin Klein?

[Ad Voice 2]

No.

[Bob]

That's a line from the movie, isn't it?

[Monet]

Yeah, but that's not. Maybe if you want to do one like that, it'll be the Aliyah one. She's like. She's like, oh, I can't get down on the floor.

[Bob]

This is.

[Monet]

I'm wearing an Alaia and a Whata. That's an iconic line from the show. I don't even remember.

[Bob]

I don't even remember that line.

[Monet]

But I think when she getting mugged by the guy.

[Bob]

It's been so long since I've seen that movie. I mostly remember the line. Says who? Calvin Klein.

[Monet]

Oh, my God.

[Bob]

It's the line. That's not a dress, it's underwear.

[Monet]

Yeah, vaguely that. I think you're missing some. Some crucial blocks, too. Calvin Klein Clues was a great movie. Do you think Clueless was a great.

[Bob]

I think.

[Monet]

I think it ages pretty well.

[Caller 3]

I.

[Bob]

Again, I want to read it wraps. But I thought Clueless once. I don't remember anything that it came out.

[Monet]

Only one part may be a little weird when Stacy Dash and her boyfriend Murray, they're arguing about something and something about, like, her cheap hair extension there was like, I remember something vaguely about that, but I don't remember being crazily problematic.

[Bob]

Who said it?

[Caller 3]

Her.

[Monet]

They were both black. Saying it to each other. But, you know, back then. Now it may be. It may read a little weird now.

[Bob]

Was Alicia Silverstone in the TV show? Yes.

[Monet]

I love. I love. I love the TV show. Murray was definitely the guy who played Murray. Stephan.

[Bob]

He was also in Scrubs.

[Monet]

Yeah, he was on a TV show. And also Amber was on a TV show as well. But I don't think Stacy Dash or. Or Alicia Silverstone. She went kind of wild bitch, but she's like, alt, right?

[Bob]

And then she did it and, you know, she was in All Falls down video. Kanye West.

[Monet]

She was in that video. She was.

[Bob]

She was. She was the vixen in that video.

[Monet]

And then Stacey Dash was hot.

[Bob]

She's hot. She's beautiful. And then Kanye west, she's. No, she. I think she. Obviously, she's very beautiful.

[Monet]

I mean, I don't have seen in a while.

[Bob]

And of course, Kanye west kind of went a little bit.

[Monet]

Have you. Have you seen his documentary on Netflix? Everyone's talking about it.

[Bob]

Yay.

[Monet]

No.

[Bob]

Yes. Yes, yes.

[Monet]

He's like, yes. Like, almost like Jesus.

[Bob]

But yeah, he really is leaning into this, like.

[Monet]

Oh, he has for years now.

[Bob]

Like, this, like, I'm Jesus thing.

[Caller 4]

Yeah.

[Bob]

You know, he also. Jesus said, if I was. If they written the Bible today, I'd be in it.

[Monet]

Oh, he's crazy. Do you think Kanye west is a genius? People praise him as, like, a musical genius.

[Bob]

I think Kanye west is a very talented musician. I think Kanye west has written some of my favorite songs of all time.

[Monet]

Really? The only one for me would have to be All Falls Down. I love All. And then when in the documentary they show, like, the him, like back in. I mean, years before he came out. I want to say at least like, 10 years before it came out, he was just like, in, like, it was like on one of his demos, he recorded it on top of something else. It was. It's so crazy how it. How it, like, came to fruition.

[Bob]

Anyways. Okay. 808 and Heartbeats is a really good album. And the Night of here.

[Monet]

That is a good one. Story ever told. Yeah. Yeah, that's a good one.

[Bob]

Somewhere far. Yeah, that's a great. That just a great. The whole album is. It's just singing out. He sings on the whole album. And he also did obviously all Falls down college drop all great albums.

[Monet]

Oh do do them sit ups, ride and tuck your tummy tied. See, that was a good one.

[Bob]

Jesus Walks was a great song.

[Monet]

Jesus Walks is a great song.

[Bob]

Oh my God.

[Monet]

Am I.

[Bob]

He's. He said. He said. And if it take away from my ends which. And if it's take away from my spins which probably take away from my ends, then I hope I take away from my sins and bring the day that I'm dreaming about. Next day I'm in the club. Everybody's scream analogy says show me the way because the devil's trying to break me down. There's also he. His. What's the one.

[Monet]

His new stuff.

[Bob]

She walk around like. Like she should have brought Michael with your money. She walk around looking like Michael with your money. If you win, no prom. Oh, yeah. She takes. Yeah.

[Monet]

Gold digger is a good one. She get.

[Bob]

She takes my money. You know who sings that on. On. You know who does that?

[Monet]

That black guy.

[Bob]

Yeah, it is that black guy. But you know that black guy's name?

[Monet]

I know his name.

[Bob]

Jamie Foxx.

[Monet]

Is that Jamie Foxx?

[Bob]

Jamie Foxx. It was right after Ray and he just had Jamie Foxx do his Ray Charles impersonation.

[Monet]

Smart. You know, I was thinking about that guy that. That the I'm gonna. Which we talked about on podcast before. I'm gonna pop some tags. That's what I thought they were who did that.

[Bob]

But I'm gonna do it to you.

[Monet]

Ready? Now. Okay, really quick. You were screaming last night at the concert. And I will say your voice does not sound as strong as a mommy does. I would not try to do extra shit, Jacob. Am I. Am I. Am I lying? Telling the truth?

[Bob]

If I need a professional opinion, I'll ask my ENT.

[Monet]

Okay, well, maybe you should FaceTime him.

[Bob]

I'm gonna pop some tags. Only got $20 in my pocket.

[Ad Voice 2]

Delicious.

[Bob]

I'm hunting, looking for a come up.

[Monet]

This is fucking awesome.

[Bob]

Is that the same guy from his song like Can't Stop Us or.

[Monet]

I don't know a lot of what's I'm about to say it is from.

[Bob]

It is from Ryan McLemore, Macklemore and Ryan Murphy. No. So the heist is actually it was labeled as not just Macklemore's album. It was Macklemore and.

[Monet]

Oh, really?

[Bob]

Ryan Lewis got it. Who was the. The producer of the album. It was like, ryan Lewis and Macklemore present the Heist.

[Monet]

Got it.

[Bob]

And there's a song where they're like, back. Where do we go back?

[Monet]

The city can't hold us and the city can't hold on.

[Bob]

I wanted the same guy.

[Monet]

It is. And then I told you. My friend who's Arista Laws, who is a. Who's a big musician, writer, she's written for a lot of people, and she's telling me, like, the story about it. Like, this guy cannot even. Because he. He recorded it. And they were like, here, we'll give you, like, 50 bucks to do this. Not saying 50 bucks legit. I don't know what the. It was a small dollar amount compared to the millions of dollars that the records made. And he's like, I got my 50 bucks.

[Bob]

That's. That's actually very common. Michelle Visage, in her book, talk about how she does not get any money from seduction. A. She does not get a dollar from seduction. Is it shady?

[Monet]

I said this is gonna sound shady, and I don't mean to sound shady.

[Bob]

Who's buying seduction can't hold Us.

[Monet]

Her name is Ray Dalton, but this is Connie Weston.

[Ad Voice 2]

Top.

[Bob]

Oh, thank you. They're that same person.

[Ad Voice 1]

Wait, what?

[Bob]

They're not the same person. The guy from Thrift Shop is Juan, and the guy from Can't Hold Us is Ray Dalton. I think that.

[Monet]

I think it may be the Ray Nan. I remember it in R. And again, I don't.

[Caller 2]

I.

[Monet]

This was. I had a conversation years ago, and I don't remember, but it's. One of them got. Dude, they're like, here's like, 50 bucks.

[Bob]

So. So back to Michelle Visage and who's buying seduction? Michelle Visage has been on, like, two or three number one songs, right?

[Monet]

Which songs? It takes two that seduction. The. It takes two to make that seduction.

[Bob]

Yeah.

[Monet]

Work. I did not know that.

[Caller 3]

Yeah.

[Bob]

That's Michelle. Besides singing It Takes two to make a thing go right. That is Michelle.

[Monet]

Besides.

[Ad Voice 2]

Oh, my God.

[Bob]

And she had another song. Michelle's been on, like, two or three number one songs.

[Monet]

I did not know. What's the other one?

[Bob]

I listened to her book.

[Monet]

I love Michelle Visal. What a nice lady.

[Bob]

Yeah. You should listen to her, Honestly. Listen to her book.

[Monet]

It's like, I will listen to it. The diva rules.

[Bob]

Yeah, the diva. It's like. It was like two Days of listening. Like two drives or two long drives.

[Monet]

So, like, did she not sign a good backend deal up front? Not a back end.

[Bob]

She got paid a weekly, like a salary. So Michelle Versage, number ones, what are they?

[Monet]

It is Seduction. The song is called Seduction. It's her number one.

[Bob]

Yeah.

[Monet]

Number two is you're my only. You're my one and only. And then the third one is two to make it right. So that's the third one.

[Bob]

Yeah. Michelle's been in three number ones. And Michelle has a song on the Bodyguard soundtrack.

[Monet]

What song?

[Bob]

It's like track nine. She famous. She famous. It's like a joke amongst the Drag Race girl. Like Michelle. Like the Bodyguard soundtrack, track nine. It's like a. It's like a famous joke in the.

[Monet]

I'm part of the draggers girls. I don't know it.

[Bob]

Well, I guess maybe it was before your time.

[Monet]

I don't know.

[Bob]

Maybe. Maybe between 8 and 10, the joke stopped being told or something.

[Monet]

Did she say. Did you see it?

[Bob]

No, it's just like. It's just like a joke. I know, I know, like from the what's the T? Podcast and stuff that she's on the Bodyguard soundtrack. So Michelle should still be making money from that stuff. But she took, like, a salary deal and they were doing these world tours. She toured like Milli Vanilli.

[Monet]

I remember that.

[Caller 1]

Yeah.

[Monet]

Because her and Milli Vanilli, they famously dated.

[Bob]

I would say that Michelle Visage's music career is arguably more prolific than RuPaul's.

[Monet]

No.

[Bob]

3 number ones.

[Caller 1]

Monet.

[Monet]

No, those were for Seduction. Those are the top three.

[Bob]

Yeah, but Michelle was an artist in that.

[Monet]

Yeah, but I'm saying. But the first two I read were not number ones. The one you said was the number one.

[Bob]

They're all top tens. Michelle had. Michelle had big.

[Monet]

They had numbers on there. I know. One was, like, 19.

[Bob]

She was like, traveling. She was, like, traveling, though.

[Monet]

You were saying more. I mean, I don't want to. I mean, we're not trying to compete for RuPaul versus.

[Bob]

Oh, my God, RuPaul.

[Monet]

Michelle should do a versus.

[Bob]

Well, I mean, she was doing arena tours. Arena tours.

[Monet]

But, like, as an opening act, though. And I don't. I don't mean that in a shady way. I don't mean that to be shady.

[Bob]

Nothing too shaky and I don't know.

[Monet]

I know that's not shady. Bitch fucking.

[Bob]

Yeah, but I didn't say. Jesse, there's nothing to shake a stick at.

[Monet]

Dieba is opening for fucking Jason Mraz right? Now, like, that's Jason Mraz. What's the other one that sings? Slow. Tall white guy. Slow music.

[Bob]

Trixie. John Mayer.

[Monet]

No.

[Bob]

Maybe British.

[Monet]

No, not British. American. He always looked kind of sad. Skinny, tall white guy. Not Jason Mraz. Not Jason Mraz. Not. Anyway, it'll come to me. Whatever. It doesn't matter. But yeah, so being open and act, that's fucking huge. But you're in front of, like, tens of thousands of people sometimes. That's fierce. Would you ever open for someone who's an artist you would open for? You mean like comedy?

[Bob]

You mean touring? Opening or doing like. Like one night?

[Monet]

Touring? Like, is there artists that you would stop your career and go to and go open for them for two months?

[Bob]

Probably not.

[Monet]

Really. What if Kevin Hart. Bob, you playing for millions of people.

[Bob]

How much is he paying for night?

[Monet]

I don't. I don't know what that even looks like.

[Bob]

I think that would be great for your career.

[Monet]

You're so funny. You. You will win so many people over who are like, I'm not going to see no gay comic.

[Bob]

Maybe Kevin Hart. But it had to pay really, really well. And, yeah, you just have to pay really well. And I don't think that Kevin Hart would want to pay me.

[Caller 2]

What?

[Bob]

I would want to open for him.

[Monet]

Maybe Kevin Hart's on a lot of money. Yeah, he might.

[Bob]

But even people who have a lot of money aren't interested in paying more than something is worth.

[Monet]

Well, I think he makes it worth. Especially now. You know, people aren't. Well, they're virtuing.

[Bob]

But Kevin Hart hates gay people.

[Monet]

Does he? No. He does. Oh, that's his kid.

[Bob]

No. You don't remember when he. When he. I don't. I don't think it hurt his kid.

[Monet]

Well, yeah, he had that scandal with his kid.

[Bob]

Was it his kid?

[Monet]

Yeah, he could do the Oscars.

[Bob]

He made some joke about his kid being gay. Yeah, but I'm scared.

[Monet]

Or. He said that if his kid came out as gay, he will.

[Bob]

No, that was. That was. That was. The guy from. That was Tracy Morgan. Tracy Morgan said if my son was. Oh, no. Okay. You're right. Okay. That is Kevin Hart. Tracy Morgan said if my son was gay, I would stab him to death.

[Monet]

Yeah. And Kevin Hart said.

[Bob]

Kevin Hart said if my son was gay, I would. If I was playing with the dollhouse, I would crush it over his head.

[Monet]

Yes. Like, very. Like WWE style.

[Bob]

Crush it over his head.

[Monet]

Finish him.

[Bob]

Which isn't funny, but it's kind of funny.

[Monet]

You're toxic. Your toxic trait Is that you find that funny.

[Bob]

That idea is not funny, but it is very problematic.

[Monet]

And a sketch, it'll be funny. See a sketch for queer people by queer people. That would be funny.

[Bob]

Yeah, there it is. Yeah. The concept of who's right. We're doing advisory.

[Monet]

I know we are.

[Bob]

It's going to just be a no. We can do advice. We can lean into the advice. Now we're just doing a full ass podcast here. To quote Destiny's Child in the early 2000s. Hit me.

[Caller 3]

Hi Bob and Monet. My name is Ben, he him and I'm a 26 year old cis man from Chicago. So I am experiencing hair loss that has make me feel down about my physical appearance. I have a receding hairline and a lot of thinning. I'm a teacher and sometimes my students make comments about my hairline. It's been putting me into a mental spiral lately. How did both of you deal with your hair loss? I know both of you have experimented with hair pieces and you both shave your heads. I don't want to shave my head because my head is weirdly shaped. I was called Megamind in high school. Did you ever think about hair restoration? Like finasteride or minoxidil or hair transplants? I'm looking into hair transplant surgery. The technology is much better these days than in the past. Can you please tell me about your hair journeys and your opinions on hair restoration? Thank you so much.

[Bob]

Can I honestly say I don't think I have any advice to give you because I've never experienced anything in regards

[Monet]

to losing my hair anyways. I started losing my hair like right when I was getting out of college. So around 22, 23. Bitch, before then, you know when your shit starts thinning, you like, bitch. Every time I went to the barbershop, the comments are getting further and further back. It started, bitch, I was like, here. Then it started getting here, then here, then here. Didn't hear. I was like, bitch, it's time. And then I was like, it was like thinning, but mine was thinning a little bit here, but just receding. So I had this. Anyway, so I noticed I was thinning and I was like, you know what? I was sick and tired of going to. I was embarrassed to go to the barbershop. Cause I was like, I was that bitch to go to the barbershop. And I know he's probably looking at my head like this nigga is holding onto nothing. Just like stop.

[Bob]

So they must be used to it. I don't think barbers are like, we see this a lot, you know?

[Monet]

But, yeah, but for your own psyche, you're like, bitch, I look crazy. So then, like, at like, 23, I was like, you know what? I just bought a razor. But the first time I did it, did you do this? I got, like, a regular straight razor that dudes used to shave, and I put that on my head and, bitch, I broke out crazy on my head. I had these little white bumps everywhere. And then I just bought tea outliners and I started shaving my hair then. But I mean, in the process of it getting thinner, there were sometimes. And I was self conscious. But I mean, I was like, I was in college with, like, other music majors who, like, who'd be looking crazy and disheveled as fuck. I was like, so I was among good company of people that were looking crazy, so I didn't feel really too bad about it. And then once I started shaving my head, people were like, no one really batted an eyelash. I think my friends were like, girl, it was about time. We were happy you did this, but for strangers or people who knew me with hair, no one was like, oh, you're shaving your head now. It's always been that. No one ever made me feel weird about it. And I just think it's more of, like. A lot of it is just you, like, you're seeing yourself in the mirror every day, and you're like, you miss your hair. You miss having a nice hairline. You miss having a full head of hair. You think that when, like, when you're hooking up with people that it's weird that you don't have hair and you, like, feel self conscious about it that way. I think it's just addressing your own insecurities about. About your hair loss and being okay with it and being like, you know what? I'll shave my head and I'll deal with that, and if you don't want to shave, bitch. We have a lot of friends who have gotten hair restoration surgeries, and it looks amazing. I have to say. They're all white. I don't know about any black people who have done it, but all my white friends who have done it, it looks great. And I've definitely thought about it, and I. And I would do it for sure.

[Bob]

I have a slightly different opinion. I have some friends who had hair expression that doesn't look great, and I've had some friends who have that where it does look good. There's also a really significant period of time in your hair restoration where you

[Monet]

are Going to look wild the first month.

[Bob]

And I mean like wild, wild. Also, depending on where you go, you have to do it in small chunks. So I have friends who had to do, like, their front half and then they have nothing in the middle because they couldn't do the whole thing at once because all the hair is being pulled. I don't know because of human anatomy and I'm not. I'm not a doctor, but they have to do it in chunks that they, like, schedule these big different things. I had a friend who got the front half done and then the pandemic happened. So for the whole quarantine, he just had this middle part that was like, well, I can't go now because we can't travel and we can't go to different, you know, people going to different countries and stuff to get it done because it's cheaper in some places. I think, in my opinion, for the fastest results is a piece. If you want to. If you get a piece done by the right people, if you're. Honestly, if you're a white guy, just go to Hair Club for Men. I have a few. Or if you have, like, not black hair, if you have, like, Asian hair or like. Or like Latinx hair that's not like, Afro Latinx. A lot of people I know go to Hair Club for Men and it really looks perfectly fine.

[Monet]

I mean, are they pieces?

[Bob]

Yeah, they're pieces. So Hair Club for Men. What Hair Club for Men does is they basically give you a unit, which is the full lace unit that goes here. They shave your head, put the unit on and you can swim in it, you can shower in it, you can, like, live your full life in it. And then once a month or so, depending on what plan you get, you come back and may just take it off, clean it up and put it back on your head and then cut your hair again and it looks pretty good. You do run the risk of having potentially an embarrassing moment depending on how often you go. Some people go over two weeks, some people go once a month. The glue can lift, you know what I mean? If you're black, you usually have to go to a private person. There are lots of people who do them. Mickey the barber in LA is one of the great people who does them here. And I only had mine for six days before I took mine off. And it wasn't because it was falling apart, it was just because I injured myself and it was just stressing me out to have it after I chipped my tooth. I was annoyed at the notion of. And I had to go to Mexico. So I was like, I'm about to travel with this piece. I'm just going to take it off. I shaved my head. I did not start balding until I was in my late 20s. And when I shaved my head the first time, I did use a razor and it was not good for me. But then here's what I experienced, though. When I started shaving my head, I started shaving my head pretty much right away. I had one haircut that felt too far back and I was like, this is it. I'm shaving my head. Started shaving my head. And then when my hair started growing back, I realized that my hair loss had really, like, advanced, like from when I first started shaving my head to now. I hadn't grown my hair back until the quarantine, basically. And I was like, oh, my hair is. I've. My hair loss has really, you know, significantly matured while I was shaving my head. So if you. If you're not comfortable shaving your head, if your head is shaped funny, I think bald heads are sexy. Whenever I see a guy with bald head, I think it's really attractive. Um, and. But also I think that a piece, a unit, like a hair club for men's situation is actually a very good idea. Personally.

[Monet]

Positive for me. When I had the hairpiece, I didn't have the same experience as. I did not have the same experience as Bob. And you know, because I would. I immediately started going to the gym with mine and it. It really caused me to break out of my head really bad. It was very itchy. Again, this may be an isolated incident. Maybe I went to the M2 though, so.

[Bob]

But.

[Monet]

But it was. Right.

[Bob]

Yeah.

[Monet]

So it may be the glue that was used and maybe. I don't know what the thing was,

[Bob]

the way you react to it, maybe.

[Monet]

Yeah, I would. I would try it again to see like. Like, what's the T? But when I did it, it was. It was like. It was unbearable. So that's why. That's why I ended up taking mine off. I mean, I bear with a plane because I did. We did a stupid video into the uk whatever. But it was very uncomfortable for me to have the hairpiece. But I would try it again for sure. I want to do a blonde one. I want to do. But embarrassed of a good point, because I had my eyebrows microbladed, so bitch. I'm have. Which is a look to blonde hair and dark eyebrows. I would want it.

[Bob]

I don't think. I don't. I don't particularly like blonde hair and blonde eyebrows. I' Especially because I've seen it.

[Monet]

Especially.

[Bob]

I don't like it because we do drag.

[Monet]

When I do drag, I do. I do. I do blonde ass hair with black eyebrows, and I don't think it looks bad.

[Bob]

I do not like blonde hair with blonde eyebrows. I do not like.

[Monet]

Oh, the two together.

[Bob]

Yeah, I don't like it.

[Monet]

I think a little cool.

[Bob]

I think most people. Most people who have blonde hair have

[Monet]

dark eyebrows even darker than their hair.

[Bob]

Yeah. And most people who get their eyebrows done are usually get them done in a dark color.

[Monet]

Oh, it would definitely be like a look. It will be like a. It'll be like a look. It wouldn't be. I would not look like normal. It will definitely be like a very similar.

[Bob]

I would get my hair done again for a thing like if I did like a. An event or an award show or something and I was out of drag and I want turn to look, I would. But. But it does take, like, three weeks of growing your hair just to do it.

[Monet]

Yeah.

[Bob]

So it's kind of like a.

[Monet]

They have one that you don't. I saw. I saw something. You don't. You can. They do, like, a different technique and. But for the. All the ones that give you the most natural look, they do. You have to grow your hair out and then they shave it and they put the.

[Bob]

Have you seen those delicate ones where, like, you touch it and, like, the whole hair, like, move like it's like a. Like a spray or a powder or something. If you touch it, the hair, like.

[Monet]

Have you seen those black guys at Beijing? Have you seen Beijingers? What's that like?

[Caller 1]

They.

[Monet]

Those. When they get the haircut, they put, like, that marker, basically, and it like. You never seen. Bitch, at my church, niggas was Beijing Ing the entire time it was called a Beijing.

[Bob]

Maybe it's a New York City thing.

[Monet]

No, bitch, it's Southern as fuck.

[Bob]

Beijing.

[Monet]

A Beijinging. You never seen this? No. Oh, yeah, bitch. It's a lot of church dudes do it. Well, that's why I learned about it in church for sure.

[Bob]

How you know it's Southern?

[Monet]

Because when we use it's.

[Bob]

It's.

[Monet]

It's a very popular church thing. Southern northern churches in the north.

[Bob]

I ain't never seen a Beijing. And I'm from the South. I ain't never or.

[Monet]

I ain't even.

[Bob]

I've never even heard the term Beijing before. Why is this so funny?

[Monet]

Can y' all comment below? If y' all heard of The Bijou

[Bob]

and where you're from too.

[Monet]

Y' all got service up in here.

[Bob]

This is the girl. This is the. This is the box. This is the iron box, girl.

[Monet]

Where y' all said this is a no fly zone, Girl, this room is

[Bob]

in a fly zone, honey.

[Monet]

That's why Jacob's sitting by the door.

[Bob]

I've never. Are you looking at Beijing, Jacob? Can you look up Beijing hair And what does it do with hair?

[Monet]

They like use like some black, like marker situation, basically. And then they like to really carve out your lineup or your tape up to make it look really severe because you don't have hair.

[Bob]

Beijing hair dye for men.

[Monet]

Yeah, that's the Beijing. But you touch it and it like wipes off.

[Bob]

That's what I was saying about this. That's what I was saying about that stuff. That wipes off. Yeah, well, that's not wiping off. He said it lasts a week. I have never heard of Beijing.

[Monet]

That is brand new to me.

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[Monet]

All right, Jacob, number two.

[Caller 5]

Hey, Bob and Monet. I'm a 30 something year old, cisgendered gay man and I'm looking for some advice on how I can start to be physically and sexually attracted to different types of men. Traditionally, I've been into the stereotypical muscle guy and I've worked my own body to a place where I also fit that image. I'm at a point now where I want to be open to dating men who look different, have different features, or maybe don't fit the mold of being conventionally attractive. But I'm terrified that my heart will like someone and my dick won't work for them. I kind of hate that I have a narrow and vain view of what is physically attractive. Do you have any advice for how I can start to be attracted to different types of men? Sincerely, retiring muscle queen.

[Bob]

And what did he say his body was?

[Monet]

He's a. He's a.

[Bob]

He's a muscle queen too.

[Monet]

Muscle. Yeah, he's. He's built his body to be that. Because that's what he's trying to do. Walls in your court, Bill.

[Bob]

Okay. So, you know, when I was in college, I really only was interested in guys who looked like me. So I was interested in, like really

[Caller 2]

tall,

[Bob]

slim, and I was slim black guys. That was like, all I was into when I was. When I was in college. And as I got a little. I mean, and it's also probably because that was all that was, was around me too. You know what I mean? And then as I got older, I moved to New York City and I basically, like, kind of wasn't hooking up for a very long time. I don't know what was going. I was just going through. And it wasn't from lack of effort. She was going through the driest of dry spells. Maybe you need a dry spell. Maybe that's what you need. Maybe your ass need a dry spell, honey. And then I. I think that access to other people helped me shift my perspective on. On what is attractive. Because I'm attracted. I'm now attracted to very. I am very attracted to feminine guys. And that was not it for me in college. There was this one guy that I used to kind of hook up with, but he was. But it was in secret and he was so feminine.

[Monet]

What about it? Were you, were you, were you scared of.

[Bob]

I was ashamed.

[Monet]

You were ashamed of him?

[Bob]

Yeah. I was out. Everyone knew I was gay. But, like, he was just, like, it was too gay for me, which is ironic coming from me of all. Like, if you saw me, like, you probably like, oh, well, this is a cut up. But I. His name was John. So. John, if you're out there, I hope you're doing well.

[Monet]

If you're out there.

[Bob]

Little John, we called him. Great job, well done. If, you know, if you do. If you're out there, I hope you're doing well.

[Monet]

It's a great John Legend song.

[Bob]

Is it?

[Monet]

If you're out there.

[Bob]

I don't know a whole lot of John Legend. I saw him in Jesus Christ Superstar and I was like,

[Monet]

he listens. Well, Christy, Chrissy listens to this.

[Bob]

Who's Chrissy? Christy Teigen from the Lip Sync show. Got it. And she's a model too, right?

[Monet]

Yeah.

[Bob]

Yeah. So honestly. I would say maybe. Honestly. So I recommend a podcast. I think I've asked you all to listen to this podcast literally a thousand times. It is on this American Life. It's an episode called Tell me I'm Fat. Listen to that podcast. It talks about how this woman shifted her perspective on fat People. And because she's a fat person and she felt like she wasn't beautiful, but she had to shift her perspective on fat people so that she could find herself beautiful. Otherwise, she would never be able to be beautiful to herself. So she just had to shift her perspective. And it should. It took her a while, but you have to find the beauty in those things. I really. I highly recommend that podcast. I tell everyone. I always. It's my. It's one of my favorite episodes of any podcast ever.

[Monet]

Yeah, I mean, I. I mean, that all sounds like really sound advice. I mean, I've always had, like, a white palette. I've always been interested to see. Interested in different types of guys. I mean, similar to Bao growing up also, like, into my, like, late teens, early 20s, I, like, was only interested in black and Latinx people. And that has obviously changed. Literally dating a white man now. But I think that just. But, like, body types and stuff like, that was never, like, which I've run the gamut of all different types of bodies. So that's never really been a problem. So I guess. Yeah, that's. I feel maybe that podcast would help. I don't know how to tell you to shift your perspective other than, like, figuring out why you're only attracted to that type. And it seems like you're attracted, but you didn't tell us why he's attracted to that, but only that you've changed your body to look like that because that's what you think is beautiful. Maybe it's like, how you grew up, maybe similar to us. Maybe you grew up and those are the type of guys that you grew up thinking in your town.

[Bob]

I was attracted to it maybe because, I mean, it is, like, the standard. I mean, you really need a reason to be attracted to the standard, or you don't really need a reason to be attracted to anything. I mean, like, if you ask someone, why are you attracted to Muscle Guy? They're probably like, I don't know. Cause they look aesthetically pleasing to me, I guess. You know what I mean?

[Monet]

Or like, growing up. Or maybe you grew up a jock and you, like, you're from a small town. And like, that was like. I mean, that is the standard of beauty pretty much everywhere. But I think. But is it a specific type of race? Are you also trying to shift your perspective on different genders of men? I don't know.

[Bob]

In my experience, you know, being attracted to typically attractive people is, like, usually not some crazy backstory. It's usually not a crazy backstory, but I just you know, from where I'm from, people with hot bodies are considered attractive.

[Monet]

In my mind, it's like the white dude from the small town who has the football team. You know what I mean? That's what I'm thinking of, the way that this person is talking.

[Bob]

I mean, I've never really been attracted to muscle guys, ever.

[Monet]

See, you're not attracted to that. And that's the standard for sure.

[Bob]

Sometimes I see someone like, we were hanging out with Christian Dante White last night, and I was like, you got some nice arms. You gotta work.

[Monet]

So.

[Bob]

But.

[Monet]

But he's a beautiful man.

[Bob]

He's absolutely stunning.

[Monet]

Like, stunningly gorgeous. Hot.

[Bob]

Yeah. Objectively.

[Monet]

Yeah.

[Bob]

Yeah. No one. No one will argue. No one's going to be like, I don't know.

[Monet]

I mean, can we.

[Bob]

Can we. Can we fly?

[Monet]

Let's put a picture on the screen.

[Bob]

I need to make a list. I want y' all to know half the time, I will get. I forget what I say. I'm going to show you all. And then, Monet, I do two and three podcasts in a day sometimes. And then by the time we're done and we play around, a smash. And I have forgotten Jacob.

[Monet]

Jacob was looking at us like.

[Bob]

But also Mitch and Jay. If y'. All. Mitch and Jay, y' all have our phone number. So if you're editing and you come across me and Monet swearing we're gonna send a video, just be like, text me like, hey, where's that picture?

[Monet]

I'm going for this picture also, bitch. We were one of my all time favorite singers in the whole fucking world, who was also fucking hot. Avery Wilson was standing right behind us. And I was. I was gagged.

[Bob]

I was like, so Avery Wilson, who. I'm not completely. I'm not aware of his work, but Avery Wilson, Nicole Scherzinger and some other guy.

[Monet]

His name is Stevie Mackie.

[Bob]

They were all behind us just singing.

[Monet]

Sounding fucking incredible.

[Bob]

We were at Todrick's concert.

[Monet]

Steve Mackey is everything. He does Taco Tuesdays. Have you seen those videos of, like, Amber Riley sitting with all those people in their.

[Bob]

I have not.

[Monet]

You, probably. What if I show it to you? Like, oh, that video, probably. Yeah.

[Bob]

But they were just behind us, like, singing all the songs that Todrick was singing on stage, but, like, really, you know, immaculately. Particularly when It's Raining Men came on. Yes. So we got this, like, private concert at a concert of Nicole Schinger singing It's Raining Men, girl, which, by the way, it's a great song. It's Raining Men. You know who wrote that?

[Monet]

The. The sisters?

[Bob]

No, they performed it. They're called the Weather Girls.

[Monet]

The Weather Girls? Yeah.

[Bob]

You know who wrote it?

[Monet]

No. A white person.

[Bob]

Paul Schaefer, of course. Do you know Paul Schaefer?

[Monet]

This white nigga?

[Bob]

Do you know who Paul Schaefer is?

[Monet]

No, about he white.

[Bob]

Do you know the bald guy who's on David Letterman show? The band guy?

[Monet]

No, I never watched David Letterman.

[Bob]

You don't know? He's like. He's like one of those faces that everyone. Once you see him, you're like, oh, him. Paul Schaeffer wrote that song, wanted Bette Midler to sing it, Wanted Barbra Streisand to sing it. They all said no.

[Monet]

Oh, him.

[Bob]

Paul Schaeffer. Yeah, the guy from the day we

[Monet]

let himself imagine Barbra Streisand singing. It's reigning, man.

[Bob]

So then they gave. They gave the song to the Weather Girls, who at the time were called Two Tons of Fun.

[Monet]

Two Tons of Fun. I didn't know that.

[Bob]

Backup singers for Sylvester.

[Monet]

Right?

[Bob]

And they were. Then they went on their solo career. But then once they got the song, once they got the song It's Raining Men, they changed their name to the Weather Girls. But yeah, you know him, Paul Schaefer, he wrote His Raining Man.

[Monet]

Do you know that Dream Girls was written by two Jewish dudes?

[Bob]

Yes, I do.

[Monet]

Isn't that crazy? But you listen to Dream Girls and you're like, oh, this is definitely some black people who wrote this. Right?

[Bob]

I mean, maybe it's. Maybe that's because it is just insert in the, like the black, like, cultural experience. But also you think about, like, you think about. There are these musicians who are like, really good at basically, like imitating other songs.

[Monet]

Oh, yeah, for sure.

[Bob]

There are musicians who are like, basically hired to create other versions of songs that already exist.

[Monet]

Yeah.

[Bob]

You know what I mean?

[Monet]

What have happened to TV jingles? I miss jingles.

[Bob]

You know, Mika used to write jingles.

[Monet]

You know?

[Bob]

You know Mika. I can be brown I can be blue I can be violet sky I can be.

[Monet]

It was a tick tock trend, right?

[Bob]

I mean, I knew Mika from like 2000, like 4 or 5. Who's Mika?

[Monet]

Is she like a friend?

[Bob]

Mika's a man and he's in the album. His first album is called Life in Cartoon Motion. Grace Kelly. I try to be like Grace Kelly but I'm gonna look. He was kind of like the second coming of Freddie Mercury, basically.

[Monet]

Mm.

[Bob]

Anyway, Mika's really talented artist, I think from somewhere in Europe and He used to write, like, a lot of jingles, like, for, like, Orbits, I think.

[Monet]

Yeah. Jingle TV jingles were so fierce, they just, like, stopped. I guess we don't need them anymore. It's gone.

[Bob]

Well, you know, things shift.

[Monet]

I know. I know. All the shows don't even have, like, theme songs anymore. Like, theme songs. Like opening. Opening songs. Like, Buffy was iconic. Fucking Charmed. Fucking Sabrina. It shows. Euphoria does not have an opening song and theme. It just starts.

[Bob]

The last show I knew with the theme was Orange is the New Black.

[Monet]

Oh, yeah, that was. Yeah, that was Sabrina Has One.

[Bob]

And that's Regina Spector.

[Monet]

Chilling Adventures of Sabrina Has One, I believe. Right. Kind of.

[Bob]

I can't remember.

[Monet]

Next one.

[Bob]

Yeah, Regina. I think Regina Spector wrote the Animal. The Animal. Oh, look, with the cages full.

[Ad Voice 2]

Hey, Bob. Hey, Monet. So let's say, like, you're at this straight club and. And then you see this guy. He's hot, he's attractive. He's all that. But you don't really know if he's gay. How would you, like, tell if this person is gay? This person is not gay. Like, how would you tell? Then the second part to that is, like, if he is gay, then how would you go up to him? Like, do you have any tips? Do you have any techniques? Like, help me, please.

[Bob]

But you at the club right now, like, how urgent is this?

[Monet]

He's not. He's in the bathroom, right?

[Bob]

He, like, how urgent is this? Is this advice?

[Monet]

I mean, you're at a straight club, okay? So that I get the weirdness there for. If it was me, this is what I would do. Okay? I see this hot guy across. I see this hot guy at the straight club. He's. Maybe he's on the. He's sitting by the dance floor with friends, whatever. And I'm with my friends. I will, like, dance. I will, like, try to make, like, gay eyes. Everyone knows gay eyes. I have done gay eyes so many

[Bob]

times with the camera right now.

[Monet]

Yeah. It's like someone like. So let's say you're the person. Camera. You're sitting on the subway. I'm sitting. Sitting in my seat, riding on a train. And then I'll just do the thing. I'll ever look. I'm like. And then for a moment, and then I'll see if you make eye contact with me. And then you do. And I'll.

[Bob]

You wait to see if you're gonna get beat up or if you're gonna get.

[Monet]

Right. Like, you have to, like. You have to, like, Sense the energy. This person want to punch punch me

[Bob]

or fuck me or both.

[Monet]

Right? And then, and then you can feel

[Bob]

or punch fuck me. You know what punch fucking is?

[Monet]

No, punch fucking.

[Bob]

You know what fisting is?

[Monet]

Yeah. So an asshole cannot do that.

[Bob]

Punch fucking is absolutely a thing.

[Monet]

Like your hand, the hand could just go in like that.

[Bob]

You build it up, you build up to it.

[Monet]

Okay, but like this, but not a fist like that.

[Bob]

Punch fucking is absolutely a thing.

[Monet]

I need to see proof. Look up punch fuck. I want to see that.

[Bob]

I cannot.

[Monet]

There's no way a hand can just punch into an orifice like that. That is insane.

[Bob]

You keep giving advice while finding punch fucking videos. Okay, yeah.

[Monet]

So then I would, so that I would like, I would feel that person's energy. And then I. And then like you go on to dance floor as well. You have a drink at hand with your friends and you go over there and you just dance close to them, right? You're dancing close to them and you're seeing, you're seeing what energy they're getting off. Because two things that happen, A, they're straight and they don't want to dance with you or have any conversation or any deals with you. Two, they're gay or they're just not into you. So you have to gauge it. Is a person into you, feel the energy they're into. You dance a little closer and just like you would flirt with it. Flirt like you would with anyone else at a gay club. Obviously maybe not as forward as, hey, are you gay or straight? Like that's a little off putting, but I would say just try to flirt like you would with anyone else at a gay club if you were there. You dance close, you feel the energy, feel the vibe, and then make a decision after that.

[Bob]

I am on the dark web. I am on the dark.

[Monet]

Let me see. Hold on.

[Bob]

I gotta make sure this is the right one.

[Monet]

Not donkey punch, fucking finish him.

[Bob]

You gotta make sure the right one. This is.

[Monet]

I love grinding my teeth. It feels so good. Can y' all hear that. Girl? So if y' all cannot see this, you're not watching. Bob is sitting here, mouth agape, brow furrowed.

[Bob]

Something's agape.

[Monet]

He looking bald headed and confused. Over here, girl. It's a lady getting punch fucked.

[Bob]

No, she's punch fucking this guy.

[Monet]

Ok, so it's in this. Can you punch fuck a vagina? Whoa, she's really into it. Is that him? Is he jerking?

[Bob]

I think he's pleasuring himself.

[Monet]

Got it.

[Bob]

In the meantime.

[Monet]

Well, she has. Okay, so this Is a redheaded woman. They look like they're on a camp trail. There is greenery behind them. They are on a trail. She has blue lake size gloves up to about the mid of her forearm. And she is, she's not like donkey punching it, but she is going fist in, pulling it out, fist in, pulling it out, fist in. And he's jerking off his.

[Bob]

I would say his ass is clapping back. It was, it was like, it was like. It wasn't, it wasn't like loose and goose and it was like he had that snapback.

[Monet]

Yeah. What's your advice about trying to talk to.

[Bob]

He had that snapback. Honey. First of all, you would be hard pressed to find me in a straight bar. Why would I be? Do you. What's the time in a straight bar?

[Monet]

I've been a very long time. I can't tell you the last time I was.

[Bob]

I just would not. I just wouldn't be in a straight bar. I mean, I would say I'm in a bar for one of three. There are in my opinion, one of three reasons to go to a bar. To get drunk, to see a show or to get laid. I don't drink. There's no fucking shows at straight bars. We're not sure I want to see and I'm not getting laid at a straight bar. So. But I think that honestly this is realty for me. If I was out at a straight bar and I did not know if a guy was gay, I just wouldn't say anything. I'd be like, it's not worth it for me. I'll just go to a gay bar and I just won't hook up tonight. That's just me. I'd be like, it's not worth it to deal with the potential of some shit going down at this bar.

[Monet]

The excitement though, the thrill of like,

[Bob]

is that not exciting to me? Danger is not exciting.

[Monet]

Not danger. Like, like if the person is gay and then you're like, you make a connection. I think that's. Some people want that. That's hot. I could be like, oh my God.

[Bob]

I think connecting gay people is hot. But like finding a gay guy in a pile of straight guys is not exciting to me. I don't, I don't understand. I'm not, I'm not knocking anyone's thing. But I don't understand why finding the one gay guy in a pile of straight guys or finding out that someone's.

[Monet]

But your friends, like your straight girlfriends are like, let's go out to the club. You're like, oh, fine, I'll go to the straight club with y'.

[Bob]

All.

[Monet]

And you see the one person that you think might be gay, you're like, thank God he's hot.

[Bob]

If he's like, obviously gay, that's hot. But I'm also not into straight guys. If you seem straight, I'm pro. I'm almost certainly will not find you attractive. Like, that's just not attractive to me. Like, butchness and straightness is not a turn on for me.

[Monet]

We're also at a point where it's. Sometimes the line is so, like, what is looking gay? What is looking straight now? You know what I mean?

[Bob]

You know what looking gay is?

[Monet]

I mean, if you're overtly femme and stuff. Yeah. But honestly, there are a lot of. I think that now in 2022, we just. The line's a little blurred and it's just. It's not as cut and dry as it used to be, like, how it was.

[Bob]

But I don't think everyone who looks gay is gay.

[Monet]

Right.

[Bob]

Looking gay is a thing. For example, like, sounding black is a thing.

[Monet]

Oh, yeah, for sure. Looking gay is a thing.

[Bob]

I don't think everyone who is black sounds black, and I don't think everyone that sounds black is black. But sounding black is a thing.

[Monet]

Yeah, for sure.

[Bob]

Yeah. And looking gay is a thing. And I think that people who look gay are attractive and hot, and I think people who look straight, to me, that's not attractive.

[Monet]

Got it. So right now, I look pretty straight.

[Bob]

All right, what's. What's the next.

[Monet]

What's the.

[Bob]

What's the.

[Monet]

You don't think I look pretty straight? Besides the fact sweatshirt. You don't think I look pretty straight?

[Bob]

No. If you.

[Monet]

Somebody that gave our. From like this up with that.

[Bob]

No, Monet.

[Monet]

Yeah, I have.

[Bob]

I have. I have.

[Monet]

I have lips and eyes on my. On the back of my hand, I have knuckle tattoos. I have a full. A half a sleeve. If you saw me at a gay bar. Sorry. If you saw me at a bar excusing the fag shirt.

[Bob]

I said no, Monet. Why?

[Monet]

What's looking gay, you bitch.

[Bob]

You look gay. First of all, you have your eyebrows drawn on your head. Let's. Let's. Let's start with that.

[Monet]

You can't tell I'm wearing black. I have black sweats.

[Bob]

I look straight. They're kind of tight. They're a little tight. I look striped. They're not tight for. Not for you. We're gay. This is loose. These are hammer pants in the gay community. And you kind of have a gay affectation. You kind of carry yourself kind of.

[Monet]

Yes, I carry myself gay. You think like all the time?

[Bob]

Yes.

[Monet]

What do y' all think? Y' all think I carry myself gay? I think I carry myself neutral. Sometimes I am very gay, but sometimes I. When I'm not really gay, I think I'm pretty neutral.

[Bob]

I think in my opinion, everyone who sees you thinks you're gay. And I think the same for me. People see me and I don't think people think I'm straight ever. I thought I was talking to my mom. My mom swears up and down I'm serving butch. My mom swears up and down I am. I am like the straightest. She goes, I don't think people think you're gay when they see you. And I said, I think they do.

[Monet]

Yeah, you definitely gay. You gay as hell, nigga, you gay. I know, nigga, you gay.

[Bob]

I'm the only one. I'm the only one of us who's proud of you. You're the one acting like you're proud of me wearing this straight look at some bad.

[Monet]

I'm not wearing a straight look. I'm thing. I just could pass it straight. I'm not trying to wear a straight look.

[Bob]

Why are you striving for that?

[Monet]

Oh, my God.

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[Monet]

Let's listen to the next question.

[Caller 4]

Hi, Bob and Monet. Thank y' all so much for taking my question. First of all, I want to preface this by saying that I don't think I'm ugly and I don't think I have low self esteem. I'm just laying it out how it is. I'm just trying to say it how it is. I call it like I see it.

[Caller 2]

It.

[Caller 4]

Okay, so I have a best friend and she is married and her husband is real close with his cousins. Now imagine some conventionally attractive black dudes. Those are his cousins. Now me, I am not a conventionally attractive person. I am short, I am fat. I like a little extra gravy on my mashed potatoes. And I wear glasses. I'm very dark skinned. So I'm not the conventional. No beauty, but I love me. Okay, so I Feel uncomfortable when I'm around them, though. Let me tell you why, because they don't owe me anything. Let me start by saying that they don't owe me anything. However, I noticed that they don't engage with girls who are not conventionally attractive. You walk in the house, you speak to them, hey, everybody, how you doing? They don't make eye contact with you. They don't say, hey, how you doing? They don't say anything to you. But let a conventionally attractive, a pretty girl walk in the room, they turn into the kings of comedy. And so it makes me uncomfortable because honestly and truthfully and seriously, I feel invisible. And when I'm with my girlfriends, we kiki, we have a good time. But when the dudes are around, it just makes me feel like an outcast past. It makes me feel self conscious, even though I'm not self conscious. Like, the fact that they won't even say hello to you is kind of, like, dehumanizing, to be honest. So I just wanted to know, how do I bring this up to my friend? And do you think I should bring it up to her at all? And last but not least, I just wanted to know, had y' all ever been through something like this? And thank y' all so much. I love y', all, Bob. And I love you, Monae. Thank y'. All.

[Bob]

I love what she calls you. Monae.

[Monet]

I'm Monet.

[Bob]

That's how Southern people do say Monae.

[Monet]

Her accent is so fucking cute.

[Bob]

That's how Southern people talk.

[Monet]

Hey, Monet, I hate when you talk. That's what I hear every time.

[Bob]

That is not how I sound.

[Monet]

That's what I hear. You can't. That's. That's my experience hearing your voice.

[Bob]

When I told you you sound Jamaican, you said. You said I was wrong.

[Monet]

I mean, because I'm not Jamaican, I'm

[Bob]

saying this, but that's what I hear.

[Monet]

Okay, well, good for you.

[Bob]

Oh, now you change it too. Cause for years, you kept saying, you don't sound like that, but not for.

[Monet]

Tell you how you tink I talk. That was the worst.

[Bob]

Pat. So that was Pat Gnaw.

[Monet]

I don't know Jamaica. Use your turn.

[Bob]

Okay. There's a woman, a person. I actually don't know how they identify. Actually, I think I do because I think her name is the Ugly Black Woman. So I think she identifies a woman. Her Instagram name is the Ugly Black Woman. And she talks about experiences like this. And I saw this other girl online, and it really broke my heart. She just. She Was like. It started off. It was this TikTok. It started off real cheery. And she was like, I have a question for y' all pretty girls. Like, what's it like? Like, what's it like to be God's favorite? And then she started, like, kind of like really hearing what she was saying, and she was like, what's it like to be able to walk into any room and get attention, and no matter where you go, people love you and you always have a friend and all this stuff? And she was saying, what's it like to be able to get attention from people just for existing? And she said a lot of the same thing that you said. She said that she felt invisible. And that is super valid. And I will say this. When I was in the drag scene, or in the nightlife scene, before I was a popular drag queen, or even a famous drag queen, before I was famous, or even popular, for that matter, when I would go to the clubs out of drag, I would really feel like I was getting no attention. Like, I was just, like, really skinny, like, black dude. And I felt like in these clubs and like Hell's Kitchen, I was just getting looked over. You know what I mean? And then I noticed the difference in the way people treated me when I started doing drag. And then once you are this larger than life character, this thing that they see, which is why a lot of times you probably know, it's like. Like, you ever have like a. You ever ask yourself, like, why is my fat friend funnier than all my skinny friends? Is because they, like, develop this personality to be seen. They develop something so that people can see them and so that they can engage in social interactions with other people. And I don't think it is your job, honestly. If I were you, I wouldn't even bring it up to them because they're. Because they're not going to change. You know what I mean? They're interacting with these conventionally attractive girls because they want something they want. And whether or not they're actively trying to get it, whether or not they're actively trying to get sex from these women, they want it from them, which is why they're treating them like this. Drag queens in the city. When you go to a drag show, if a hot guy is anywhere near the front of the stage, he will

[Monet]

get all the attention all night long. I mean, every number.

[Bob]

And I'm just. Every. They stop. They look at him, they touch him. Everyone in the crowd's going, woo, woo, woo. You know, obsessing over them. And part of me is like, that's just, that's just part of, that's just part of their experience. That's just what they get in life. And, you know, to quote, to quote, you know, the movie Mommy Dearest, you know, odds, you know what I said? Life was fair. Like, that's just what, that's, that's just what they get in life. That's, that's part of their, that's part of their deal for looking the way they do and, and being the way they are and being born in a position to have that kind of privilege. And people who are not conventionally super attractive. Like, everyone has that one friend who's so hot, when they leave the room, everyone starts talking about them, but they're just so hot, they leave.

[Monet]

And everyone goes for you. It's me, right?

[Bob]

It's you.

[Monet]

You're the one I know.

[Bob]

And, you know, I live my life. I'm not one of those people who had one of those experiences where every time I leave the room, people are, like, freaking out about how hot I am. So I was able to develop a personality outside of that for myself to get attention that I felt comfortable having. But, But I never, I would never bring it up to them. I mean, I do think if you bring it up, it would be awkward. And, and, and they will either be, they'll either be defensive or they'll be assholes about it. But I, I, I doubt. Or they probably like, no, no, we love you. We love you. No, I mean, I'll be saying hey to her. Don't I be saying hey?

[Monet]

It's very though.

[Bob]

I'd be saying hey, right? Because they don't even see it in themselves.

[Monet]

Yeah. You know, I mean, I would say, I would say bring it up to your homegirls. You said, this is like your homegirls. Cousins, whatever. I would say bring it up to your homegirls.

[Bob]

Partners. Cousins.

[Monet]

Yeah. So bring it up to, like, your, like, the girls that you like, the girls that you're going into hanging with, like, your close friends, like, confide in them. Because I feel like it is something that you probably want to get off your chest and you want your friend group to know that you feel this way. But I would say, but, you know, you always got them people. You bring it up, and they're gonna be like, yeah, girl, I promise I won't say nothing. Bob, why y' all don't talk to Jake every time? That would embarrass me, right? And that's embarrassing. So I would, like, do not bring it up if you know that you have a friend that's gonna do that. Cause that's gonna make it really awkward for everyone, and you're gonna hate that. But, yeah, I think that I agree with everything Bob said. They probably don't see that they're doing that. And they want. For the conventionally attractive people, they want to get something from them. Whether that be sex, whether that be just for them to give them a hey or a dap. Whatever it is, they want that attention from that person, which is why they give them all that attention, whether they even realize it or not. So I'm like, girl, it's not even worth it. Girl, it's not worth it. Don't do it.

[Bob]

Don't do it. It's not worth it.

[Monet]

Yeah, I think that you. You seem to. You seem to have. You are very confident and strong in yourself, and you know who you are. And I think that you have. You have this. It's gotten you this far. And I don't think you need attention from these dudes. It may be something that you want, but I think now is the time to really see, like, what do I need? What do I want? And you do not need attention from these guys. Would it feel nice if they did it? Sure. But you definitely do not need it. Your life will be. Them giving you attention is not going to make your life any better or diminish your quality.

[Bob]

But I think what you're saying, that them not giving her attention is starting to affect her. And I can see that. I've had that experience. And it's one of the things that I struggle with is as I've gotten more notoriety and people started talking to me more, and I'm like. And then I started thinking back to the way people used to treat me before I did any of this stuff. And it starts to really fuck with my brain. And I started asking myself, like, would these people even be talking to me? But then I had to think to myself, you know, people. People go up to people and talk to them because they find something about them attractive and not necessarily physically, but like, for example, if you know that one funny person, everyone cries, right? Even if they're not hot, they're so funny. People find that quality in them attractive. And if they did not have that, people wouldn't go up to them. So for some people, it's their looks. For some people, it's their sense of humor. For some people, their sense of fashion. For some people, it's their smarts. For some people, it's their Talent. They find something attractive about you and

[Monet]

then they talk to you and you're also very funny. Bitch. I would say just start cracking jokes. If there's something that you. Daddy. If you think the attention for them will improve your quality of life, then you find that thing that the other bitches don't have that you have, which is you sound very funny. Bob and I laughed many times through your voice note. So I think that lean into the comedy. You probably, like, dress really fiercely. Lean into the fashion, like whatever your thing is that you think is that spark that you have. Because if you want to get that attention from those guys, if you think that it is your level of attractiveness is not doing that for you, then find another avenue. Comedy, fashion. Can you sing? All southern black bitches can sing.

[Bob]

That's not true.

[Monet]

I know, I know.

[Bob]

Martha Caldwell cannot sing.

[Monet]

So I was like, lean into the thing that you think that you do really well. That'll make you shine.

[Bob]

All right, let's hit our last one.

[Caller 1]

Hello, Monet and Bob, big fan of yours. Big fan of the podcast. I am a 25 year old blackish woman from Virginia and I'm currently dating a white man. The two of us both identify as queer, but the reason that I am calling in today is because I've learned recently that my boyfriend will imitate different accents. So specifically the other day he got a call from a bill collector, he hung up and then he imitated what the bill collector sounded like. And the bill collector apparently had an Indian accent. I find this to be hugely problematic. And when I talk to him about it, he admits that he even does this while playing Dungeons and Dragons, but he doesn't see a problem with this. I have told him that I believe that it's racist and I've even said that I will send him different articles on it. And he says that he finds it to be another example of people just crying racism. And there's nothing wrong with imitating a culture. What should I be doing about about this? Because I really enjoy my partner, I enjoy our relationship. But apparently he does not see the light when it comes to this topic in our relationship. So I'm just wondering, what is your advice? Thank you. Sincerely. Say what now?

[Bob]

The title today, say what?

[Monet]

Jacob has Created Monsters. Jacob has Created Little Monsters and survival. I think that in relationships there are certain non negotiables. Now, I'm not saying for you to break up with your boyfriend, but I think that you need to impress him upon him how big this is to you. He may be. I Mean, he seems to be diminishing what you're saying and be like, oh girl, it's nothing. People just, just another people crying racism, people crying wolf. I think that you really need to express to your boyfriend how it is not just crying wolf. That it is, it is a very racist act. It makes you feel uncomfortable. You don't like when he does it and it's a non negotiable for you. And again, I'm not saying break up with your boyfriend, tell him, well, fuck you, I'm leaving you. I'm saying that he's not understanding the gravity of the situation and he's. Did you say he, she's blackish. He's white.

[Bob]

Yeah, yeah.

[Monet]

As a white person, he's not identifying how problematic his behavior, how problematic his behavior is. And I think that you, you need to have like a, a serious conversation, like a sit down, like not just like a washing dishes. And you be like, you know when you did that thing that was problematic. I think it's like creating a safe space and be like, hey, for real, sit your ass down. I don't like when you do this. This is racist. This is not nice. Like you need to have a. Communicate this to him in a different way. And then if he's still brushing it off, then I think that's a time for a step two. I don't know what that is at this point, but I think that he may be not grasping the gravity of how racist and how disgusting his behavior is.

[Bob]

I think that. So if I try to scoot back and look at this, right? If you look at this from his perspective, he's probably thinking himself, well, people do British accents, people do Australian accents, people do. So what's wrong with doing an Indian accent? Or people do Southern accents. You know, people do so and so. And then I think it's maybe makes sense to step back and say, well, maybe you can see how people use the fact that Indian people have accents when speaking English to diminish them, to bring them down, to make fun of them, to make them seem lower class. And I think that it is probably not beyond reach to say that people do that with other accents as well that don't apply to race. People do it with Southern accents. As a Southerner, people will imitate your Southern accent to try to show how dumb you sound or how you seem to be in a lesser class than the person who doesn't have that accent. But also I think, I think it's one of those important things where, where maybe this person, you can Talk to your partner and say, well, here are some opinions by a lot of people who are affected by that meaning Indian people or Chinese people or Japanese people. And maybe, maybe he can see where you're coming from. I think that it is a big part of. I mentioned this before. It's really weird how white supremacy has made things that you should not be embarrassed about something shameful. So they've made people having accents from where they're from, depending on where they're from, a shameful thing. A lot of. There was this big thing in Hollywood where they were not hiring Latinx actors to do accents. So the. So for a while, the only way to get work in Hollywood, not the only way, but it was like a faux pas to write in a character with a Latinx accent because it was considered offensive. But that was really hard for actors who have accents. People like Sofia Vergara, and she's like, if a character is written with an accent and I have an accent, it is shameful that I now have to be embarrassed of having an accent because the character was written for me, for people like me. But also in that situation, you have to ask yourself, is it being used to uplift this or just to display this? You know, having an. You don't. Every time someone has an accent, it doesn't have to be some big grand uplifting. It can just be, I'm a person with an accent living in the world. You know what I mean? Sofia Vergara happens to have a very thick Colombian. She's Colombian, a very thick Colombian accent. And she's lucky enough to get a lot of work. Penelope Cruz, is she Spanish?

[Monet]

Salma Hayek,

[Caller 4]

Spanish.

[Bob]

I don't know where she's. I don't know where she's from, but she also has an accent. Salma Hayek has an accent. You know, a lot of these people have accents and they're. And they were able to.

[Monet]

Which is so crazy. That was the thing. Because people. Accents live in the world like they.

[Bob]

But what people were saying was, like, a lot of people. There were some people in the Latinx community being like, why do. Why, why do Latinx characters have to have accents?

[Monet]

Do people just have accents?

[Bob]

Listen, I'm not part of that. I'm not part of that.

[Monet]

I'm not.

[Bob]

I can't defend that position because I don't believe in that. I think there are people with accents, and people with accents should be able to.

[Monet]

Right. Live their.

[Bob]

Yeah, they have accents.

[Monet]

Yeah.

[Bob]

You know what I mean? But it seems odd that this person can't see that doing an Indian accent is considered problematic, in my opinion.

[Monet]

I think that he knows. He just want. He just wants to live in that ignorance and be like, no, Maybe a

[Bob]

way to do that, though.

[Monet]

Yeah, I mean, maybe. Maybe a way to do it is to make it a little closer to home. Like, flip it. Like. Like, babe, that would be like you getting off the phone and doing a black scent about some woman on the phone. Like, that would really offend me. And maybe flipping it to you, maybe that will help him see clearer how it is offensive. That will, like, because it will hit closer to home because you are his loving partner. Maybe that's a way to, like, be like, this is why it's offensive. Because if you did a black sin, I would feel offended by that and I wouldn't like it. Maybe that's the way I had to

[Bob]

have a conversation like that. There was this. There's this trend on TikTok and I want to try to get it right. So I don't like. Okay, so there was this trend on TikTok where this one black creator was like, trying to make a point about those plantation weddings.

[Monet]

Yes, I vaguely remember this.

[Bob]

So I don't know if y' all know there's this thing in the south where people do plantation style weddings where they hire black waiters to, like, be slaves for their plantation style weddings. They won't say slave.

[Monet]

They hired servants at the servants.

[Bob]

Paula Dean had a whole thing where she. Where she was exposed for this too. They will hire the waiters who are all black. Cause they want this plantation style wedding. Southern antebellum plantation style wedding. And this one creator was like, that's like. She was basically trying to make a parallel. And she was like, I'm just trying to plan my Auschwitz themed wedding. I'm just trying to plan my Auschwitz themed wedding. And then she was like, that's how y' all sound. And I was like, you know, I feel like you could have made your point without dragging in the Jewish community the genocide of the Jewish community.

[Monet]

Six million people.

[Bob]

Yeah, Like, I don't. I don't think that's necessary. And I'm not saying it's right to. To do it. To do a southern style plantation wedding, But I don't think you need to drag in the Holocaust.

[Monet]

Yeah.

[Bob]

You know, or. Or there's this guy who was like, who was getting mad at people saying not to be gay. You know, people say that not to be gay or anything. And he was like, that's like, if I. If someone Says you look great not to be gay.

[Monet]

Like very. No homo. No homo.

[Bob]

Yeah. And he was like, that'd be like. If I said let's play basketball not to be black or anything. And then a lot of people sitting like, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Why did you have to. Why did you have to drag in. Why did you have to drag black people into this? To make an example, you can just flat out say this is racist.

[Monet]

So the. The black creator got. Got checked.

[Bob]

I don't know. She got checked. I saw it. I remember thinking, I was like, oh, can I just scroll past? I didn't want to get involved in any more TikTok drama.

[Monet]

Are you involved in tick Tock drama?

[Bob]

No, no. But I've seen a lot of tick tock drama.

[Monet]

Oh, got it with.

[Bob]

With Modern Warrior and Aunt Karen and Chelsea, Bibbity, Bob, Boop. They're all going wild. Which I called that, by the way. I've called like two or three tick tock scandals before. They had. I was like, this is about to blow up. I called Deborah Crankin.

[Monet]

Bob, you're speaking.

[Bob]

Deborah Cranking was this trans woman online who people found out was like asking for a lot of money for a transition. But like, then people are like, you, you would never need this much money. They're like, you could transition. She was trying to raise like $360,000. And people were like, but all the other folks just like, yeah, let's. They were like promoting her. And then this other trans woman was like, you could transition like five times with this, like, back and forth bitch. And she was like, also, you live in California where all of your surgeries are free.

[Monet]

Oh, free in California.

[Bob]

Insert in California, the government will pay for your ffs, for your body sculpting, for your boob job. And in some cases, yeah, your name change is also free work. Yeah. Anyway. And I was like. And I remember Sean, I was like, this is about to go down. Anyway, I was having a conversation. I was like, you know that this is. This is why it's problematic. And then when I. When I basically Monet just said, you relate it to yourself. And then your partner can be like, oh, now I see. Because it's attached to someone I love.

[Monet]

Yeah.

[Bob]

Maybe they don't know a lot of Indian people.

[Monet]

Yeah,

[Bob]

We're on to this.

[Monet]

Are we onto these? We're done. We don't talk. We've been talking for a long time and I'm done talking to you. I'm going to show you what I can do. I'm not going to tell you no more, baby.

[Bob]

Well, after eight years of friendship, it's time to finally start showing.

[Monet]

It's 9. Get your numbers right. Step your fucking numbers up, bitch. Step your numbers up.

[Bob]

What does that mean? What does any of that mean?

[Monet]

Step your fucking numbers up. Step your numbers up, baby.

[Bob]

Have you stepped your numbers up?

[Monet]

Mm. Have you?

[Bob]

I don't. I don't know. I don't even know what it means. I don't. Maybe I have. And what. Can you give me an example of how you stepped your numbers up?

[Monet]

You step your numbers up by making sure you step them up. That's how you do it.

[Bob]

So when was the last time you. When was the last time you took an action towards stepping up your numbers?

[Monet]

Today.

[Bob]

Oh, what did you do?

[Monet]

I stepped my numbers up.

[Bob]

That's so the. My last answer to the question is I probably have stepped my numbers up

[Monet]

at some point, but how much

[Bob]

I don't know because I'm not even sure if I've done it or not. But, I mean, I've done things in my life. I've gotten taller. That's a number. I've gained weight. That's a number. I've gotten some more followers on social media. That's a number. I've grown teeth. I've replaced them. I've gotten more wigs. Those are all numbers.

[Monet]

Teeth, tooth gate. I'll never forget toothpaste.

[Bob]

I told you I'm sensitive about it. You're still making jokes about it.

[Monet]

What? I would say that's one of the biggest scandals of 2022.

[Bob]

Well, we already did the poll.

[Monet]

All right, bye, everybody.

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