Sibling Advicery: Big Feet/Tipping Queens

Summary

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Podcast Summary: Sibling Rivalry - "Sibling Advicery: Big Feet / Tipping Queens"

Hosts: Bob the Drag Queen & Monét X Change
Release Date: May 9, 2022

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Episode Overview

In this laughter-filled advice episode, Bob the Drag Queen and Monét X Change bring their signature banter and drag royalty wisdom to fans’ pressing questions—from where to buy heels for large feet, to the etiquette of tipping at drag shows, moving to NYC with a partner, navigating small-town queerness, how to start doing drag, and frank, real talk on polyamory. The queens keep it candid, hilarious, and heartfelt throughout, even as they roast each other and drop nuggets of genuinely practical advice.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Sibling Advicery: Not Actual Siblings, Just Sound(ish) Advice (01:16–02:43)

• Disclaimer: Bob and Monét stress, amid jokes, that neither are medical or mental health professionals: “We are not doctors ... therapists ... psychologists ... psychiatrist ... If you need advice, please go to your doctor, your rabbi, your priest, your shaman, your teacher, your psych, your therapist. This is just for entertainment purposes only.” – Bob (01:16–01:43)
• Tone: This sets the comedic and irreverent foundation for the episode, emphasizing the advice is served with a heavy dose of humor.

2. Hotel Room Realness & Drag Travel Life (02:07–03:48)

• The duo shares travel tales and banter about hotel rooms and beds, veering into adult humor and friendly ribbing.
• “You must be busting that bussy wide open, ain’t you?” – Monét joking with Bob about bed movement (03:32)
• Sets up their signature chemistry before the advice begins.

3. Kim Kardashian, Geography Gaffes & Influence (05:10–09:32)

• Tangent: Kim Kardashian’s body changes, possible public office run, and Monét’s hilarious misunderstanding between cities and countries (e.g., listing “Brazil” and “Africa” as cities).
• “What are five cities you want to travel to? ... Monet said Brazil, Africa, and Thailand.” – Bob (08:30)
• Showcases friendly teasing and relatable moments of confusion.

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Listener Questions & In-Depth Advice

Q1: Where to Find Heels for Large Feet (09:38–12:33)

Question: Trans woman with size 12–13 men’s feet can’t find girly shoes.

Advice:

• Monét: “Onlymaker.com is about to change your entire motherfucking life ... they make all types of shoes, flats, everything ... If you’re a men’s 12 or 13, get a 15.” (10:11)
• Bob: Endorses Only Maker and suggests Nordstrom/Nordstrom Rack and notes gender-neutral sneaker options, “A women’s Air Force One is the same exact [as men’s], just changes the sizing.” (12:04)

Memorable Moment: Both queens share commiseration about the struggle for big shoes and swap old Payless nostalgia.

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Q2: Should I Convince My Closeted Lesbian BFF to Move Out of Our Small Town? (14:31–19:40)

Question: Caleb from Alabama—out gay man, best friend isn’t out; should he keep trying to get her to leave the homophobic small town?

Advice:

• Bob: “If your friend’s not ready to move, baby, you gotta go yourself. ... Maybe your journey is going away but her journey is staying put.” (16:41)
  Touches on differences in queer experience for gay men vs. lesbians in small towns.
• Monét: Flags possible codependency: “There’s a little inkling of codependency... dragging a friend to do this move could have catastrophic outcomes for your friendship.” (18:05)
• Both: Stress the importance of not forcing someone to come out/make life changes before they’re ready.

Quote:
“Don’t save her, she don’t want to be saved.” – Bob (17:05)

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Q3: How Much Should I Tip Queens at Drag Shows? (20:23–28:29)

Question: What’s the proper amount to tip?

Advice & Insights:

• Monét: $20 is a fair place to start for a night—divide among performers. If you can, tip big (“$100 bill” stories), but don’t break the bank if you can’t. (21:33)
• Bob: $1–3 per number is average, $5 or $20 is appreciated. (23:08)
• Etiquette Tips:
  • Don’t pull back your tip for attention or “dance with the dollar.”
  • Crumple up and throw the dollar if you can’t reach, but don’t hand someone else’s dollar to a queen (disagreement here: Monét thinks it’s fine, Bob not so much).
  • Pennies, coins = “doll hairs”—fun memories of drag culture in NYC.

Hilarious Moment:
“When someone pulls out $100... bitch, I’m gonna live my life!” – Monét (21:32)

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Q4: Expressing Love & Gratitude When It Feels Awkward (28:50–33:54)

Question: Difficulty saying “I love you” or “thank you,” especially to family/friends.

Advice:

• Bob: “It really does take practice... If someone does something nice to you, say thank you, say I really appreciate this.” (30:13)
• Monét: Suggests starting small, with the least emotionally fraught situations or people—work up from coworkers to family. (31:35)
• Both: Explore root causes (family culture), and normalize gradual progress.

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Q5: Advice for Moving to NYC With a Partner (34:24–39:55)

Question: Moving to NYC/Upper West Side, first time living together.

Advice:

• Monét: Live near a train, avoid having a car; compromise is key when cohabitating (“don’t be too rigid”); play to mutual strengths (one decorates, other shops for furniture, etc). (34:53)
• Bob: Living in NYC is an “accomplishment” (“the only city in the world that is actively trying to push you out of it... you have to fight to stay”) (37:03), but being honest about the difficulty is important.
• Strong warning against moving to Staten Island: “Go to New Jersey before you go to Staten Island!” (38:46)

Memorable Quote:
“If you’re not young and broke or old and rich, New York City is hard.” – Bob (37:03)

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Q6: How To Start Doing Drag (Cool Aunt Matt) (39:57–44:58)

Question: Listener feels called to try drag but isn’t sure how to start.

Advice:

• “There’s nothing Monet and I could say to convince you NOT to do it”—when drag’s for you, you’ll find a way. (41:18 – Bob)
• Resources: YouTube has every tutorial you need (“YouTube University,” says Bob); practice your makeup before worrying about being perfect; go out “when it looks cute and you’re satisfied.” (43:01–44:58)
• Monét: “Regular makeup that any influencer is doing online is drag makeup!” (43:15)

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Q7: How to Open a Polyamory Conversation With Your Partner (47:16–54:49)

Question: How do I ask my partner if we can explore polyamory?

Advice:

• Monét: Be completely honest—do not drop cryptic “we need to talk” texts (avoid anxiety and negative association). If another person is already involved, disclose that directly. (48:00)
• Bob: Radical honesty: “You do not want to sneak around... it is really setting you up for some extreme failure.” (49:56)
• Bob shares his personal experience opening up his relationship with partner Jacob—honesty before anything happened, immediate communication around new partners (52:20).
• Revisit (57:20): Be open to making mistakes; boundaries will shift, communication is vital as you learn together.

Quote:
“You are not locked into anything... you will make some mistakes on the way and just try to really listen...” – Bob (57:58)

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Q8: Would They Ever Run for President? (55:07–57:16)

• Drag history: Joan Jett Black and drag in politics.
• Bob/Monét: Both have zero desire to run for any public office.
  “You can be political without being a politician, for sure.” – Bob (57:12)

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Notable Quotes & Moments

• “Don’t save her, she don’t want to be saved.” – Bob (17:05)
• “$20 to a drag queen will make her night.” – Monét (21:32)
• “Living in New York City feels like such an accomplishment. It actively tries to push you out.” – Bob (37:03)
• “If you want to do drag, there is nothing anyone can do to stop you.” – Bob (41:18)
• “YouTube University has all of this available to you.” – Bob (43:02)
• “Don’t be cryptic. Don’t send ‘we need to talk’ texts.” – Monét (48:00)
• “You are not locked into anything... your dynamic is changing.” – Bob (57:58)

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Timestamps for Key Segments

• 01:16 – Advice show begins / disclaimers
• 09:38 – Big feet: where to shop for women’s shoes in large sizes
• 14:31 – Moving away from a small town and close ties to best friend
• 20:23 – Drag show tipping etiquette and stories
• 28:50 – Expressing affection and gratitude comfortably
• 34:24 – Moving to NYC with your partner
• 39:57 – How to start doing drag
• 47:16 – Broaching polyamory with your partner (personal relationship insights)
• 55:07 – Joan Jett Black, politics, and drag queens for president
• 57:20 – Polyamory revisited (boundaries & learning together)

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Final Vibe & Takeaways

This episode delivers the signature Sibling Rivalry flavor: rowdy, quick-witted, deeply queer, but always coming back to practical, empathetic wisdom. Both hosts aren’t afraid to clown each other—and themselves—while genuinely supporting listeners’ lives, loves, drag aspirations, and dilemmas. The advice isn’t always polished, but it’s honest, heartfelt, and decidedly fun.

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Transcript

[Shannon Maldonado]

My name is Shannon Maldonado. I'm the founder of Yaoi, a gift shop. From the lens of artists and handmade objects, I chose Shopify because when I was testing other platforms, it was definitely one of the most user friendly. It was important to me to think about where we would be in the future. All of the tools for reading your sales, like planning inventory, they're just right there on your dashboard. For anyone starting a small business, the biggest thing I can tell you is it doesn't have to be perfect. Shopify can help you build upon it. Start your free trial on shopify.commonet.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

we're on tour, Bob. We're going on tour.

[Monet X Change]

Finally, the sibling rivalry tour is getting some wings and we flying across the country and the world.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Yes, honey, listen, if you want to see me and Monet in a town near you, please go to bobandmona.com. there are going to be live music, brand new songs, podcasting, dancers, glamour, baby.

[Monet X Change]

Everything y' all want in a Bob and Monae show, you're going to get. So make sure you get your [e-mail]

[Jacob]

all right?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Help us sell out. We love you all.

[Monet X Change]

Yeah. Madison Square Garden, here we come. Hey, y', all, it's Monet X change.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

My name is Bob the Drag Queen, and this is sibling advice for you. Now, listen, we all know that we are not doctors.

[Monet X Change]

Not even a little bit.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

We're not therapists. We are not psychologists.

[Monet X Change]

We don't know much about algebra.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Psychiatrist. If you need advice, please go to your doctor, your rabbi, your priest, your shaman, your teacher, your psych, your therapist. This is just for entertainment purposes only.

[Monet X Change]

Yes, everything we saying is, is for use in this podcast only. Do not take this as sound advice to take into the world to remedy your issues. If you have, do not take any of this seriously. This is for entertainment purposes only. And we don't want anyone to feel like we are diagnosing them, that we can give them a prognosis on life.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

So with that in mind, let's get into some advisory. Amy.

[Monet X Change]

You know, Bob, I liked. We liked our outfits so much from our last rivalry episode that we decided to wear them again for this advisory. And I came back specifically to Boston because I wanted the same backdrop.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

You can always tell a hotel room when you see it.

[Monet X Change]

Oh, for sure.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Like, it just looks. You know what it is? It looks like the furniture can't move. Like, it looks like the furniture is nailed to the ground. You know what I mean? And there's always, like a headboard that is just attached to the wall.

[Monet X Change]

Yeah, because that's because I've been to like there's this TikTok of this guy and his partner going on a vacation somewhere and. And they're in this like really rickety crickety hotel. It's so funny. And like you can like beds at a hotels that move around. It just gives me sloppy, nasty vibes and we don't want that. This, this feels clean and I don't. I feel like there's nothing hiding under a bed or something. Also the beds are always like flush to the ground, so you can't get your shit, your phone or something stuck under there. Have you ever gotten your phone or something stuck under the bed is the worst.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Never at a hotel. Because you can't go into the bed at a hotel. Typically speaking.

[Monet X Change]

Right. You can't go under it.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I actually really want. I really want to secure my bed at home to the wall. It's been driving me.

[Monet X Change]

Does your bed move around?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

It used to move around a lot more than it does now. But it does move when you get on the bed. It just kind of slightly moves over but then ends up happening.

[Monet X Change]

What kind of fucking you and Jacob are doing, Jacob? You must be busting that bussy wide open, ain't you?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

We. We doing the bed moving kind of fucking honey.

[Monet X Change]

Damn, damn, damn.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Monique, grow up.

[Monet X Change]

I try to get like you, my boy.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

You're absurd. Anyway, when you get in the bed and the bed moves, the bed bumps into the socket next to my table and then all my shit comes unplugged. I be waking up in the morning, my phone be on 3%. It is so annoying when you swear your phone was charging all night long and you wake up in your ship. You like psych my boy.

[Monet X Change]

You know, Bob, I feel like ever since we have started sibling advisory, Nature is healing. We have helped a lot of people and we give one of us more than the other very sound advice and people are really living for the ed.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I don't think that's what nature is healing means.

[Monet X Change]

Yes, nature is healing by our advice.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I don't think that's what that saying means.

[Monet X Change]

Okay, not exactly, Bob. Obviously I'm being a little ridiculous. Yes.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I mean, I think you can be ridiculous with nature's healing, but maybe. But I don't think it even fits this context at all. Like for example, if we're talking about how like the Kardashians are like losing their plastic surgeryness or whatever and they're looking that. And when they're looking like Their natural selves. We'd be like, wow, nature's healing.

[Monet X Change]

Have you seen that? Everybody was like, Monet.

[Caleb]

No.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Them having their asses removed.

[Monet X Change]

I've heard Kim Kardashian stepped out at the. Where was she at?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I don't know.

[Monet X Change]

With her and Pete Davidson. Oh, my God. It's a big event that happened recently.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Coney Island.

[Monet X Change]

Yeah. Yes. The White House correspondents did a White House correspondence dinner, and Kim Kardashian, you know, everyone knows Kim Kardashian had a bodacious ass. Booty. When I tell you. And again, she still has a nice curve, but she didn't get it. You know, it's a little more than what she is probably naturally, but girl, she is back to. I'm like, this is crazy. Do you think. Do you see a world where Kim Kardashian will run for some type of public office?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I just don't really know the Kardashians like that. And I'm not saying this from a place of. I'm not one of the folks. Like, I don't watch the Kardashians. I just. I've never seen the show, and I don't know much of anything about Kim Kardashian, so I honestly don't know.

[Monet X Change]

But if you heard kind of like aliens, if you heard Kim Kardashian run for public office, would you be surprised?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

No. I know that Caitlyn Jenner has run for public office. Kanye west has run for public office. So it wouldn't be. It would not. I live in a time where Arnold Schwarzenegger was the governor and Jesse the Bite of Ventura was also the governor of Minnesota.

[Monet X Change]

Minneapolis, Minnesota was.

[Jacob]

Yeah.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

So I'm not trying to be funny, but tell me your geography is wild.

[Monet X Change]

1. Minneapolis, Minnesota.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Well, you said the governor of Minneapolis. Like, you can't be the governor of Minneapolis.

[Monet X Change]

Okay, bitch is the Minneapolis. First of all, they did us. Us all the service by naming them so similar. Minneapolis, Minnesota. That's too much. It should have been like Tilema, like Minneapolis.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

What about naming similar like New York and New York? What about something that similar?

[Monet X Change]

That's dumb. Well, actually, that's fine because you can just say New York, and then people be like, okay, yeah, because it works for both. But Minneapolis and Minnesota, they're too close. Name it Minnesota. Minnesota. Then I can say Minnesota. I would have been correct.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I like, I can. I cannot find. I cannot find this screen grab. But when I tell you that Monet. When I tell y', all, Monet took me out, and I was like, I Was undone. Monet was doing an AMA on her. Monet was doing an AMA on her Instagram. And Monet was like. People were asking Monet questions. And someone said, monet, what are five cities you want to travel to? What are five cities? And Monat named five places, but none of them were cities. And I mean, not one of the places Monet named was a city. Monet said Brazil.

[Monet X Change]

I don't think that's true. I said Tokyo.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

No, I'm telling you because I retweeted and I said none of these were cities. One of them was Brazil. And that. I know that. And I remember that one of them was Asia. All right, this is not real. Something rivalry.

[Monet X Change]

Yeah, it's not a rivalry. Oh, my God.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Oh, that took me out when I. When, when, When I said Asia, girl, that gathered me.

[Jacob]

I have the list right here.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

It was three cities you want to perform that you haven't yet. And the three. Three cities were Brazil, Africa, and Thailand. That was what it was. That was what it was.

[Monet X Change]

First of all, Jacob, what's. Nobody talking to you. That's the first of all, baby.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Keep texting me. That shit is so.

[Monet X Change]

No, Jacob, if you text it to him. This is. See, that's what I'm talking about, y'. All the sneaky little boyfriend.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

African. Why did you say that?

[Monet X Change]

It was like, ask me anything. I was like, had a lot going on. I wasn't like. I was just like, oh, my God, I want to go to these places. I wanted to leave it open ended so that I didn't, like, say one place. Like, what if I would have said Sao Paulo, but Rio wanted to bring me? You know what I mean? I didn't want to ostracize anyone. You are such a child.

[Jacob]

Oh.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Oh. All right, give us the fucking. The fucking advice.

[Monet X Change]

Let's take the first question.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Hey, Pamela Monet. I am a trans woman who has huge feet. Even for men, I wear a size 12 or 13 in men's sizes. And because of that, it's really hard for me to find shoes that I like literally anywhere. So far, I've had to just stick to men's sneakers because that's all that'll fit me. And do you guys know where I could get, like, heels or sandals or any type of quote unquote, girl shoe that would be able to fit me. Sincerely, Mrs. Bigfoot.

[Monet X Change]

Baby, baby, baby do I have the remedy for you honey, Onlymaker.com is going to bitch when I tell you it's about to change your entire motherfucking life. Onlymaker.com is where I get literally all of my shoes. Sandals, sneakers, heels, everything. They make all type of shoes, flats. Onlymaker.com and they. If you are a woman, if you are a men's 12, 13, I would suggest getting a, getting a size 15. And they have every, every high heel Jimmy have. They're either a size 13, sometimes a 14. If they're like really tight and they do shoes right and the heels are high just, just because you're shoe. Just because you have a wider foot, they don't make the heel like shorter. Like if it's a, if it's a 6 inch heel, is going to be a 6 inch heel whether it's a size 2 or a size 14. So yeah, so get you on. Onlymaker.com is about to change your fucking life, bitch.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Monet is absolutely right. Only Maker is a great website. You are talking to two people who have large feet for any sex or gender. Gender expression for anyone for that matter. And you know I used to, I used to wear exclusively women's shoes even out of drag. You remember when I used to wear my little boots and my little. And I used to, I mean, I don't know why I'm giving you this advice because you literally, you literally cannot do this. But I used to get my shoes from Payless all the time because Payless had really shoes in the women's section. Also Nordstrom, Nordstrom Rack has a very nice shoe section for ladies. Also. Here's a little secret, a little, little surprise. A lot of times the tennis shoes they sell in men's and women. The only difference is that it's called a men's and a women's shoe. That is literally the only difference in the shoe.

[Monet X Change]

And like they put like a little pink on a girl on the women's one.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Yeah. A women's Air Force One is the same. The exact. They just, they just change the sizing on the shoe. There are times where they do change and make it more narrow and more blah blah blah blah. But I would say they're, you know, I would say if it helps you and you don't feel dysphoric, I would try some gender neutral shoes like Air Force Ones or Converse which you know, tend to have the same size no matter what. But yeah, only Maker is probably going to be your, your best option for that. Have you.

[Monet X Change]

Do you know what, what fucking irritated me? Something that got me so mad at fucking capitalism in the fucking world we live in. When I went to the store and, and they were selling Women's pins. What the fuck is a women's pen?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Well, Ellen did. Ellen did a whole.

[Monet X Change]

What is a women's pen?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Ellen did a whole piece on women's pens. And, you know, I don't know who made the women's pen.

[Monet X Change]

B, B, I, C, Bic.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I don't know. The person behind the women's pin, you know, but it is. I will say this. If. If that affirms your gender, if somehow using a women's pen affirms your gender, pop off pussy hat and use that pen, you know?

[Monet X Change]

Yeah. Yeah. It's fucking wild. It's weird.

[Caleb]

Hey, Bob and Monae. My name is Caleb. I'm from Alabama, one of the many places that Bob is from, but not Phoenix City. I'm from a much smaller town, and the advice I'm looking for is on how to get my lesbian best friend to move away from here with me. I have left several times, but I always end up coming back because I just love to be around her. She is my absolute best friend, and I want to do life with her, but it's difficult in this small, homophobic town in Alabama. For some context, she is a lesbian cisgender woman. I am a gay cisgender man. I have recently came out to my family a few months ago, and it went much better than expected. Not great, but much better than expected. She is not out to anyone other than me and just a few other people, but. So the advice I'm looking for is should I try to convince her again to leave, or should I just go back on my own and do my own thing? Thank you, guys. I'm a really big fan of this show. Love you both.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I just want to start by saying it is nothing. Phoenix City. It is Phoenix City. This is a very common misnomer of Phoenix City.

[Monet X Change]

So let me guess. Jean's Gray. Jean Gray's alter ego is Phoenix, the dark Phoenix.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Well, Phoenix City is spelled P H E N I X. It's not spelled Phoenix, is it? Yes, it is Phoenix City. Not me fully living in Fennec City and you being like, I don't believe you. It is. Or you looking at what were you doing on your phone one day?

[Monet X Change]

I ordered some Uber eats. I see where he was at.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Yeah, people think it's Phoenix. It's Phoenix City. Anyway, let me say this. I feel one thing. It is. It sounds really tough that your friend is closeted in this town and someone who I've tr. I've visited a lot of small towns in America. Let me tell you Right now, this has kind of been my gig for the past three years, is going to small towns in America specifically and talking to queer people in those towns. And a lot of people, a lot of queer people, me, you know, I moved away to the big city because I couldn't do it anymore. But there's. There are still lots of queer people who stay in their towns and who are tastemakers and change and shifters, movers and shakers in their towns. I also think that there is a difference to coming out in your town as a gay guy and as a lesbian. A lot of times lesbians get more acceptance for some reason than gay men do in small towns and in conservative spaces. I. I'm not saying across the board, to any sapphic people out there. I'm not saying that you're like. I'm not saying that across the board. Every experience is easy, but for whatever reason, for some, for some reason, lesbians tend to don't not get it as bad as gay men. And I just, I just don't know what that is about. So I understand the whole struggle of

[Monet X Change]

just men and feminine. There's something about men being feminine, that people are like, what the.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

You know, even. Even with trans men, like, when trans men tend. Choose to be feminine, the world goes crazy bananas. Well, why would you be a man and act like a woman? It's like, you don't. Anyway, don't even get me started. So I think that if your friend's not ready to move, baby, you gotta go yourself. There's an old saying in the black community, honey, don't save her. She don't want to be saved. Also, she might not need to move. Maybe that's your journey. Maybe your journey is going away, but her journey, journey is staying put, staying where she is. You may not have the same path. You know, you can't. You can't pull someone into your path in life. And if you. I have this theory that if two people are. No, no paths in life are parallel. Now, some of them run really close to each other for a very, very, very long time. But no paths in life are completely parallel. Parallel. And if you're holding hands with someone, you know, at some point you kind of start just getting a little further and a little further away from each other. And then at some point, it's gonna get to a point where one of you is just gonna yank the other person into your path and they won't live their own life anymore. So I think that if it's not her time to leave, she needs to stay and do her thing, and maybe she'll come and join you later, or maybe not, and you'll just come back and join her. And maybe when you come back to town, it'll be lovely for her to see a beautiful, beautiful queer face when you come back to town.

[Monet X Change]

Yeah, I mean, I. In my honest opinion, I feel like a little bit of codependency on your end of wanting to be this person. I want to do everything with this person. So there's a little inkling of codependency. And I think that forcing your friend.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

She is reading y' all today, honey.

[Monet X Change]

Oh, my God. You're being so. And I think. And I think that dragging a friend to do this move could have catastrophic, catastrophic outcomes for your friendship. Like, if you are dragging this person to leave and they ended up hating it, they could end up resenting you for making. For making them do that and for putting the pressure on them to do that. So I'm like, if they're happy and content staying in Yalls hometown, then let that be. And don't force or push this person to do something that they may end up resenting you for later. And I forgot. Is she out?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

She's not out.

[Monet X Change]

No, she's not out. So that's my other thing. Coming up on Pride Season. A lot of people, I feel like there's this big thing, like, just come out. Like, people, like, telling people to come out. And I'm like, people. Some people have different things to lose in coming out. Some people lose friends, they lose family, they lose home, they lose their housing. There are different things for different people are coming out. So if your friend is not ready to come out because they don't want to lose their relationship with their mom or their dad or their sister, whatever it is, let them do that on their own time. And when they truly feel like they've had enough, when they're truly ready to, like, don't force this person to do something because you feel like you need them and you want them to go on this journey with you.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Yeah, it sounds like you are just at different places in your journeys with your queerness. Close your eyes. Exhale. Feel your body relax, and let go of whatever you're carrying today.

[Mint Mobile Advertiser]

Well, I'm letting go of the worry that I wouldn't get my new contacts in time for this class. I got them delivered free from 1-800-contacts. Oh, my gosh. They're so fast.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

And breathe.

[Mint Mobile Advertiser]

Oh, sorry. I almost couldn't breathe when I saw the discount they gave me on My first order. Oh, sorry. Namaste.

[Monet X Change]

Visit 1-800-contacts.com today to save on your first order.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

1-800-contacts.

[Monet X Change]

Can we get the next question, please? Jacob?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

My question is, what is a normal tipping amount at a drug show? I've never been, and I wouldn't want to offend talents with poor tipping.

[Caleb]

Thank you.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I know Monet's supposed to go first, but let me say right now, depending on who show you, if you have my show, a band. A band. If you have Monet's show, a dollar will do.

[Monet X Change]

I think there are different things to this, right? So let's say you go into a bar and there is no cover charge. This is a free show, and these girls are. These girls are putting on a good show for you. So, I mean, well, hopefully they're putting on. They're putting on a good show for you. So I would say take 20. Like, you would spend $20 going out to see if you had to pay, like, a ticketed price. So get $20 out of the ATM and divide that among all the entertainers. Now, if this is a. If this is a bar, obviously, if you can afford more than that, that's great. I have to tell you personally, when I was a local girl working, or even now, when I'm out. When I'm out at a show and someone pulls out 20 bucks to give me, or. Or someone pulls out $100, like, bottom of this, the rear $100 bill, someone will come in, they'll give you $100, and you're like, bitch.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

What bitch?

[Monet X Change]

I'm going to the. I'm gonna live my life. That always feels so fucking good to you. I don't think y' all understand how good that feels. If you are a bitch. This is your fifth gig of the week, and someone pulls out something, $20 or more, it does make you feel very good, and it will make you bitch. Pull out more stops at night. And if you go into a bar, that there is a cover charge. I mean, I am from New York, so I can't even gauge what a cover charge is. Like five, ten bucks, right? If there is a cover charge, I would still say getting 20 bucks, bringing $20 to a drag show and dividing it among your entertainers, I feel is a fair way. If you can't afford that, obviously don't break the bank if it's going to ruin you. But if you're going out, you're. You're going out to drink and you're going out to support these girls and watch a show. Getting 20 bucks out and dividing it among entertainers, I feel is a great place to start.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Do you remember this may have been before your time. Do you remember that guy that used to come to the shows and tip all the girls $100 bill?

[Monet X Change]

Yes.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

And his name was like Sparkles or Glitter. And he walked in a cane and he would always sit right at Monster and at Barracuda. And he was, I mean, covered.

[Monet X Change]

Oh, yes, yes, yes. Heavyset guy.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Yep. Walk with a can. And would take like 500 bucks a night. All in $100 bills. Sometimes even more than that. And then one day he just.

[Monet X Change]

Bitch. When you see much of show I'm performing.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Let me entertain you. Ah, yeah. And then one day he's kind of disappeared. He just like kind of stopped coming around or whatever happened to that guy. But the girls used to give him a show.

[Caleb]

Honey.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

You know, I think that in reality a decent amount to tip is 1 to $3 per number. I'm gonna repeat that one to $3 per number. If you give a queen a $5 bill, she'll probably be very happy. 20 bucks is a great. I remember. I still remember the first queen that I tipped 20 bucks to.

[Monet X Change]

Who?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

It was Sherry Vine. The first girl I ever gave 20 bucks to was Sherry Vine. She was doing. She was at Boots and Saddle doing Svetlana Stoli show, and I tipped her 20 bucks. Now if. If you. Even more important than how much you're tipping is tipping etiquette. I want to talk about tipping etiquette now. All those of you who are watching on video right now, you need. You need to look at this. Okay, Let me go get. Let me go get a dollar. Hold on, let me go get a dollar real quick. Hold on, hold on, Holiday.

[Monet X Change]

I have. I have the dollar. Hold on, Holiday. Hold on, Holiday.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

This is completely inappropriate. Pulling the dollar back is completely dancing with the dollar. Do not do this. Coming up to me trying to be a part of the number. This dollar does not give you admission or does not give you pay your way into the number. We're not dancing together. This. Because the thing with people, they put the dollar in their teeth and they want you to take it out with your teeth. What in the droplets is going on? Even before I used to navigate, I used to hate this shit drove.

[Monet X Change]

I've done it for hot guys. If I've definitely done it for a hot guy, if the guy's really hot, I would definitely engage it that never.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I've the fact there's a. There's a video of Me years ago. There's this guy doing it to Pixie, has it in his teeth, and he's leaning back, and then he's just doing this to Pixie. And then I just crossed the stage and I took the dollar. But I didn't just grab his entire face and, like, pulled the dollar off. It was actually a great. Someone called it in slow motion. It's a great video. Also, tipping. If you have. If you have, like, ten bucks and you. One dollar at a time.

[Monet X Change]

No, but, Bob, I disagree. For dramatic effect. That can work. That can work sometimes if you like.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Not. Not for $5. Give me. Hand me my money. Hand me my money.

[Jacob]

Because you're.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

You're trying to buy a chunk of my number. I have. I have things planned in this number. Give me my money all at once. That's me. This is for me at my show. You could give Monet a. A, A quarter at a time, and she loves that dramatic effect.

[Monet X Change]

If you are far from the stage and it's a big. And the room is crowded, you cannot get up to the stage. It is okay to crumple up the dollar and throw it to the stage. The girl will get it, they'll put it in the bucket, and they'll uncrumple it later. But don't be back there holding out on money, bitch. You know that your ass. You got there late, and I want your money. So crumple it up and throw it on the stage. Make sure it hits me right square in the forehead, Especially if it's a 20 or 50 or $100 bill.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

You know what's not okay? Absolutely not okay. And I saw this one time, someone couldn't. Couldn't reach the queen. They were like, not close enough. And then the person in front of them just took their dollar and handed it to the queen. I was like, the.

[Monet X Change]

That's fine.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

That is not fine. Because a lot of times the tip is an exchange between the queen and the person. You cannot take someone else's dollar and hand it to the drag queen. That is, in my opinion.

[Monet X Change]

Oh, no, I think that's fine. Because also, because sometimes. Sometimes people have bad aim. They're like, if I crumble this dollar, it's going to go one inch in front of me. So I. Especially at Roscoe's. Because Roscoe's, it's always so packed. Some people, they can't throw, so they'll, like, pass somebody up for. I've seen that. I think that's okay.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I think the passing of the dollar is completely inappropriate. I think that. And also, no one's aim is so bad that they throw it on. It goes 2 inches in front of them. That's not.

[Monet X Change]

Oh, yes, they are. If you're that girl and you have no aim, you can't throw at all. Please comment below. I have seen those people at the drag shows, Bitch, I've seen them trying to come up with a dollar bill,

[Bob the Drag Queen]

and they're like, let's just assume you're being facetious about the 2 inches in front of you. But also, typically speaking, if the dollar lands on the floor somewhere near the queen, most people will just throw the money up on the stage. Like, I've seen that. A lot of people just like, oh, well, just. In fact, I will try to find this video, too. Years ago, I was. I used to get coins, honey doll hairs at my show at Barracuda Honey and the Floor. I would always leave. I would always leave all the money on the stage because I felt like it would actually encourage more people to tip. It was always fun. So I would be stepping on the dollars, walking all over the dollars, and I would throw the dogs on the stage. And then this. This supermodel named Salita E. Banks, I don't know if any of y' all remember her. She is completely off social media now. Selita E. Banks is completely. She was one of her biggest things. She was in a Kanye west music video. It was, like, one of her biggest things. Her name was Selita E. Banks. So Selena E. Banks showed up on stage. Everyone kept being like, oh, my God, that's Selena E. Bank. That's a lead. And I didn't know who she was. Um, but I like to. I saw just this lady on stage picking up my dollars. Now, bear in mind, we. We are back. The show's over. She has gone through the curtain and has started picking up my dollars. And I said, hey, hey, hey, hey, baby, put my money down. And she was like, I'm just trying to. I said, I don't need any help. I do not need help. Please put my money down. Then she got official, like, donut, no one wants your dirty dollars. I said, I do. I want these dollars. I need all these dollars. This. I need all this money. All this money is important. So she.

[Monet X Change]

She.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

She started arguing. So then I started recording her on my phone. So I. If I. I might be able to find the video of me and Salita E. Banks arguing about whether or not I needed my, quote, dirty dollars.

[Monet X Change]

Let's go to the next question. Jacob.

[Jacob]

Okay, so something that I Notice you guys do on the podcast is you're very easily able to, like, express your love for one another. And that's something that I have, like, a big issue with in my personal life. It's hard for me to express to my friends and family that I love them. And I don't know if you have any advice on how to work on that. It's just difficult. My family isn't very affectionate, so I think that's part of the reason why. But it's hard. I have issues both saying I love you and even thank you when it's, like, really sincere. Like, I can say thank you to a wait staff or something very easily, but, like, I hate getting gifts because I. I have trouble, you know, being thankful to. Outwardly thankful to them, and I come across as, like, very. What's the word? Like, Like, I don't care when I do. So. Yeah. How do you guys get so comfortable saying I love you to each other and to your partners and everything? I would love to know if you

[Monet X Change]

have any tips as an empath. I just feel like love.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Well, Monet. Monet would probably tell you to say, I like you for the first couple of months, and then after that, you

[Monet X Change]

can say what you want.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

You know, I am very comfortable talking about how I feel. And. And because I. Once you start practicing it, you kind of encourage it in the people around you. And you. You kind of just created, like, a scenario where you're. You know, honestly, it's kind of like this thing where, like, either saying. Saying you're wrong or apologizing. I used to have a really big problem with apologizing, and then I just started trying to apologize more, more frequently. And it really takes. It really does take practice. You know what I mean? I think that I know how much I like hearing compliments. I know how much I like hearing I love you. I know how much I like hearing words of affirmation. And that's not everyone's love language. Everyone's love language is not words of affirmation. So if that's not your. If that's not the way you express or like to receive love, then I don't. You know, you shouldn't have to force yourself, but it sounds like you want that in your life, so I would say just honestly practice it. If someone does something nice to you, say thank you. Say I. You know, I really appreciate this. And I don't know what tone you're doing that makes you sound like you're being sarcastic. Yeah, I really like this girl. But if someone does something, they say, I just want you to know how much this means to me. It really means a lot to me that you came to my show today. Thank you. Thank you so much. And just say it straight up.

[Monet X Change]

Yeah, I would say there obviously is, like, a reason, like I would say to do so, a little deep digging into why that is, like, a family thing. Did you not experience that growing up? If that's the case, if you did not come from a family where you guys said, I love you a lot or you guys did not say please and thank you to each other a lot, then I agree with Bob. I think practicing it is probably the best way to go about it. And I think it will take time. I don't think something's gonna happen overnight. Especially if it's something that you feel awkward doing it, that you feel uncomfortable doing. It's not gonna happen overnight. But the more that you do it, the more it will feel comfortable and the more that it may become second nature. So I think that analyzing the reason why and maybe starting with those reasons why. Right. So if you feel weird singing to your family, like to your mom or to your dad or to your siblings, I would start with that. Or maybe that may be actually the opposite. Must start with them. Starting with your friends first. Cause there are less stakes there. Maybe depending on what your chosen family situation is with friends or whatever, there may be less stakes there. And work your way up. So start with your friends and start with your siblings and start with your grandparents and your parents. If you have those options. I would say start where it feels like you have the least stakes. Like start saying thank you to random people, like in the street. Like if someone holds a door open for you, start saying thank you doing that. Then you can start saying it to your co workers. Then, you know, work your way up so that it feels not as harsh. Or it will be easier to say that.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

He can say it to waiters. He said it feels really easy for him to say it to waiters. It's just. It's. It sounds like he already has that established that he can say thank you to someone who's like. That he doesn't really know. Or if it's really surface. It's just those more intense things, you know, I would say so from waiters.

[Monet X Change]

Start with co workers. Then start with your siblings and start with your parents.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

You went straight to parents. Start with the parents. Where do you go after that?

[Monet X Change]

Your boyfriend, your girlfriend, your partner.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

And, you know, and honestly, next time you have a thing you know, I don't know when your birthday is, but I got a feeling that on your birthday a lot of sweet stuff's gonna happen to. That is a great time to start practicing. That's a wonderful time to start practicing.

[Monet X Change]

Hey, it's Ryan Reynolds here for Mint Mobile. Now, I was looking for fun ways to tell you that Mint's offer of unlimited Premium Wireless for $15 a month is back. So I thought it would be fun if we made $15 bills, but it turns out that's very illegal. So there goes my big idea for the commercial. Give it a [e-mail] Switch upfront payment

[Mint Mobile Advertiser]

of $45 for three months, $90 for six months, or $180 for a 12 month plan. Required $15 per month equivalent taxes and fees. Extra initial plan term only greater than 50 gigabytes. Me slow when network is busy. See terms.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Hey, Bob and Monet, I have a question about moving to New York City. So my boyfriend and I are thinking of moving to the city together. We've never lived together and we're thinking of moving to the Upper west side. Any advice on moving there or advice on living with a partner for the first time in the city?

[Caleb]

Thanks.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Well, what was that video of that guy who was like. There was a video of a guy who was like, are y' all trying to move to New York City? Do you remember this video?

[Monet X Change]

Maybe, I don't know.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

All right, you answer this. I'm gonna try to find the video. You keep talking.

[Monet X Change]

Yeah, I move into New York City. I mean, the Upper west side, that is a good area to move to. You'll be brought a lot of restaurants. You'll be. If you're Upper west side, hopefully you're closer to the west side. So you're right by the west side highway or close to train. I would say if moving to New York City, your best bet is to try to be close to a train, close to a subway stop. And don't try to bring a car to the city. If you are coming from some town where you have a car, you're like, I want to bring my car to New York. As someone who had a car in New York City, bitch, stress, stress, stress, stress. You will have tickets. Your shit will be towed. It is not worth it. And if you think, not unless your building has parking, which literally no building has parking unless you got that coin that guap them coin tadas, you'll be paying for a parking spot somewhere that would cost you like $500 a month. If you Got the money like that, sure. But having a car in New York is fucking crazy. And be by a subway stop and living for a partner for the first time. I think you're looking for a lot of compromise. I feel like, especially if you live by yourself a long time, you may be accustomed to your own things and you may be liking to have things you're in a certain way, but if you're moving with a partner, the nice thing about this is you guys are starting a space together. This person is not coming to your space, you're not going to theirs. You guys are starting brand new together, which is nice. So you guys get to make rules together. But definitely lean towards compromising so that you guys are both happy. And don't be too rigid and don't try to be too stiff in what you want. Like be able to work with your partner. And if you and fall into the role that you feel like fits you best, right? If you love decorating a partner is not good at, you head that part up. If your partner is really good at fucking picking out nice furniture or whatever, other parts are moving together, like let them lean to that. Let your. Don't be wearing and falling into role that you guys are better suited for because it'll make your space nice together.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I can't find. There was a funny video. You sent it to me actually a while back. It was this video, this guy who was like, oh, y' all trying to move to New York City. Don't move here. Don't move to New York City. Stay where the fuck you at. You don't want to move here. He was like, when he was in the video, he was like, I think I remember. He was like. He was like, just this morning I told this kid, good morning. He said, fuck you, nigga. Don't ever look at me like that. And that was a 10 year old Jewish kid.

[Monet X Change]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, I remember that. Yeah, yeah.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

He's like, that was a 10 year old Jewish kid. You don't want to fucking move here. Trust me. Let me tell you right now, if you are not young and broke or old and rich, New York City is hard. It is. But when you live in New York City, living in New York City feels like such a fucking accomplishment. You feel like you are honestly. You honestly feel like you are better than everyone else because you lived in New York City. And that is t. And truth is, honestly, you are like you're on a different level. It is just. It's such a interesting and different living experience living in New York City is one of the most fulfilling things I have ever done in my life. I would never, ever take it back. And I probably will go back someday if I. When I have a lot more money and can afford something really fucking nice. But it. I'm not gonna lie, it is. It is a. It is a hard city to live in. It is the only city in the world that is actively trying to push you out of it, and you have to fight to stay in it every single time. Like, people move out of New York City and they are all. But they're like, afraid. When I lived in New York City, I was afraid to move because I was afraid I might not make it back.

[Monet X Change]

Did you move out of New York City and move, like, apartments, you mean?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I was. I was afraid if I moved out of New York City, I might not make it back to the city. I always felt that way. If I move out of New York City, I might not make it back to the city. I mean, you. You're someone who moved away and came back, but I had that. That fear. It was very real for me, but it really is. It's. It's a fucking great city. If you. And if you're gonna. If you're gonna move to the city, don't. If you don't have a lot of money, do not try to live in midtown. Just take your ass up the town.

[Monet X Change]

Or to an online borough or to Queens. Yeah.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Or to the Bronx.

[Monet X Change]

Not Staten island, though. Don't do that. Don't listen to Staten Island.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Not under any circumstances. Move to Staten island ever. Go to New Jersey before you go to Staten island. And any New Yorker will tell you that you are better off in Jersey City than you are in Staten Island. If you're on that ferry, you're. You're done. You're done.

[Monet X Change]

That was sirage.

[Caleb]

Literally.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

And if you listen from Staten Island. We said what we said. We said what we said. If you listen from Staten Island, I don't think any.

[Monet X Change]

We do not have a single person from Staten island that listens to our broadcast. And if you're commenting right now saying for Staten island, bitch, you're lying. You sitting your ass right in your apartment in Brooklyn. You're lying. You're not in Staten Island. You're just saying that to cause some conflamma.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

If you're not on the Verazana Bridge right now, honestly, if you say you are, use the sibling islandery. I want a picture of you on the Verizona Bridge. And if I cannot see you on the Verizona Bridge. I don't. Or on the ferry. I will not believe you.

[Monet X Change]

Yeah, yeah, same word.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Yeah, but honestly, move your ass uptown. Take your ass above 96th Street.

[Monet X Change]

Yeah, that's a good word.

[Cool Aunt Matt]

Hey, Monet and Bob, this is your cool new aunt Matt. Yes, I'm gonna say Monet and. Because everybody says Bob and Monet, and Monet is just as good, sometimes even better. No shade to Bob, but Monet, we see you. We love you. My question for you guys is I've been on the fence lately of if I wanted to try drag out myself. It's one of those things where I love watching the show so much and I feel such a connection to it, and I don't know if it's just because I enjoy it or if it is something that I feel like I need to try myself. So how would somebody, I guess try. Try it out, Let me know.

[Monet X Change]

Thanks. Wait, really quick, Bob, he just reminded me. Congratulations. You're

[Bob the Drag Queen]

legendary.

[Monet X Change]

The trailer came out. You look so fucking good. Thank you.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Big shout out to you.

[Monet X Change]

You look so good. The outfit, the fucking makeup, the hair, bitch, you look fucking good.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

The outfit was a collaboration between Patrick Howell and Marco. Marco. And the hair was wigs and Grace. And the wings and the staff were made by Jacob. I don't know Jacob's last name. I have him the same as Jacob Props.

[Monet X Change]

Ritz.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Not Ritz. He's a Props guy named Jacob. I don't know his last name, though.

[Jacob]

He's.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

And my phone is Jacob Props. Anyway, I am very happy to answer to jump into this one. Let me tell you right now, if you want to do dragons, there is nothing Monet and I could say to convince you to not do it. When someone wants to do drag, bitch, I dare you to stop them from doing drag. People doing drag are fighting all the odds to do drag. This shit is expensive. You are not making money, your body hurts, and your social life is suffering. Well, at least back when I started dragging. Maybe it's a little different these days. Or your. Your sex life. Let me rephrase that. Your sex life is suffering, and there is nothing. There is just nothing. You cannot stop a queen who wants to do drag from doing drag. I'm telling you, you cannot stop this bitch. She will do it against. I remember Monet used to be fucking cutting corners at work to go to a gig, honey. Driving and doing her fucking makeup. Sleeping in the car. I mean, girl, I used to. I mean, walk. I was taking the train in heels. I was at Jekyll and High. Working on, at my job, working on mixes at the restaurant. Like all the, all of that. I mean I remember running home. Like running home. It was, it was wild. When you went, baby, when you want to do drag there, there is honestly there is nothing someone can do to convince you to not do drag. In my experience especially at least not to try it or to start or to start off. But if you really want to know how to start off drag, if you, if you, if you're like, if you, if you, if you really want to know how to start it off, I honestly going to recommend that you just, just maybe go on YouTube. Just go on YouTube.

[Monet X Change]

Yeah.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Google, Google. How to do each step. How to style a wig drag queen.

[Jacob]

Boom.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

How to do drag makeup. Boom. How to make hip ass. Boom. How to make drag clothes. Boom. All of this, every YouTube university has all of this available to you. Every single. Especially now.

[Monet X Change]

Yeah, I was gonna say there's so much more access now to find out how to do drag and how to do all this stuff. When I was starting drag YouTube, obviously YouTube was around, this was 2012. But the only person on YouTube was Petrolude Petrelude and like one other person like Misty Eyes. They were like the only two people on there doing like drag makeup tutorials. And I remember like, and back then, because Misty Petrolude is not my color, pre Trilude is a light skinned person of color. I kind of had to like see what they were doing and kind of like try to match in myself by buying cheap versions of at the drugstore to make it work. And yes, but now there's so much access, so many wig tutorials, so many makeup bitch. There are so many. And honestly now just in today's culture, bitch, the regular makeup that any influencer is doing online is drag fucking makeup. They are wearing full coverage foundations. They're doing like these crazy eyes. Like you can, you can watch pretty much any tutorial and figure out your face. Honestly, once you figure out your face, you really get the confidence to do anything. Like the big, the number one obstacle for a lot of people not like not letting allowing themselves to go out in drag is the makeup. They feel like they look ugly. So I feel like if you're one of those people, just find a tutorial that you really like and practice that fucking makeup and do not wait for the time for when it's perfect for you to go out. Just do a time when it looks cute and you're satisfied and just put on like a cute blazer and some shorts and a Thing and a wig and just go out, go out. And also, you can just go anywhere online and go to wigsandcrace.com you can buy a styled wig by them or whoever wig people are. You can have a bitch, a full fucking look, a full cunty ass look that you'll feel really good in. So you have many resources and many avenues to get some drag that you feel good in.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I wonder what Misty Maven is up to. Like, I just genuinely have no clue we're friends is doing these days. I used to also. I was very attracted to Misty Palavin.

[Monet X Change]

Jesse Palavin's Last post was March 2018.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I know.

[Monet X Change]

I see posts on Instagram, on Facebook sometimes.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I mean, I was so. I was so attracted to the amount of drag. I was like, this is a hot person. This is a very hot. They were very attractive and just so talented and so good at drag. And I just remember being like this.

[Monet X Change]

Such a great makeup artist.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I wonder what they're up to these days. Like what? Like what? I don't know. Misty, where you at, Boo boo? What you doing? What you up to? We just want to know what you up to, honey. I feel like all the posts I see on her page are post to her. Her last girl. Her Last post was January 9th.

[Monet X Change]

Okay. We're still friends on Facebook. Her la. Their last Facebook post was January 9th. Oh, yeah. January 9th. Yeah. If you had a win. No, I'm looking. Oh, God.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

She reposted the post from 2012.

[Monet X Change]

Yeah. Dang.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I'm all right now. Hey, girl. What you up to?

[Monet X Change]

We should. We should. Oh, my God. Can we. We should have. We should have Missy Mavens, if they're open to it. Having them as a guest on the podcast. Talking about. Because just they were in Philadelphia, but they stomped around in New York City a lot, too.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Yeah.

[Monet X Change]

With. With. Rest in peace.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Maddox Madison.

[Monet X Change]

Maddox Madison.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Yeah, we used to do. I think you and I. I can have a leave. I'm saying this.

[Monet X Change]

What?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Well, we should have guests for advisory. Just for.

[Monet X Change]

I'm down with that. Every time. Bob. Don't. Don't over.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Don't overcome it every time. That was you. You said that. I didn't say that. You just said that. Let's not under promise over delivering yourself and then telling me to chill out. Having a full conversation with yourself by yourself and telling me to chill out. You're wild.

[Monet X Change]

We're gonna under promise over deliver. We might have guests for advisory. How's that?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

All I said was we should have guests More often, ain't nobody promising nothing. You the only bitch promising shit up in here. I ain't promising nothing to nobody, honey. Anyway, sorry. Go ahead, Jacob, play the next one. Hi, gorgeous, gorgeous girls. How do I start the conversation about polyamory with my partner? Not sure if this is something that

[Monet X Change]

we can do, but wanna start looking into it, please? I don't know how to ask because I don't. This is literally your world.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I'm just trying. Just try.

[Monet X Change]

If you want to start, you want to talk to your partner about polyamory, I would say just be honest. Be very forthcoming and be honest. Be like, hey, babe. And also. But okay, how about what not to do? I would say do not do a thing like text them. Be like, hey, babe, we need to talk. Or do some open ended shit to make them go crazy. And because then when y' all have the conversation, they're gonna be annoyed that you left them basically on red for however many hours or however before you talk to them about it. So don't do some like, shit like that that get them thinking like something bad or just like something bad. Because then now they're associating this conversation with negative thoughts and they're like, so you don't wanna start it off that way. So I would say that and just be honest. Be like, hey, so I mean, I also have questions. Is there someone else that you're thinking of already? Like, are you having romantic feelings with someone that you want to involve? Or you know, is that happening already, which is why you want to bring this up, or you think that it's something that you may want down the line? I have big questions. Because if you have already. Because if you've already fallen, because if you're already someone that you're thinking of, then you need to be honest with that at the forefront of it. They'd be like, hey, so I've been feeling this way about Cindy or Michael and I like, you know, introduced that at the beginning so your partner does not feel blindsided. It's like, oh, so the reason you wanted to do this was because you like this person too. Like, be very honest about all of it at the beginning is what I would like.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Also, Monet, you always send me texts that say, hey, I need to talk to you about something.

[Monet X Change]

No, I don't.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I just searched that in the phone and I found like three examples. Money will say, I need to talk about something and. And then flat out not respond to me.

[Monet X Change]

That's not true.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

The fact that I have to go to the extreme length of posting screenshots on you all the time is so exhausting.

[Monet X Change]

Screenshots will be your downfall.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

You, honey, you. And let me just let you know, exploding footgate is not done anyway. Just know that. Henny, I think that. That Monet is right about this. I think that, first of all, in my opinion, in terms of polyamory, being open and honest is the most important thing you can do for your relationship with anyone, especially when it comes to polyamory. You do not want to sneak around on your partner. That is so dishonest. It is so. It is really setting you up for some extreme failure. You do not want this in your life. Do not sneak around on your partner because you probably do not want them sneaking around on you. I think that if you open up to them and say, I want you to know that I am interested in the notion of polyamory. I think that if you already have someone that you're lining up, then that seems shady to me. But if you're like, I think that I could be attracted to other people. I think that I love you very much, and I think you want to affirm them and let them know you love them and that you are not trying to leave them, that you do love them, but you do think that you are capable of loving more than one person at a time. At a very intense and romantic level.

[Cool Aunt Matt]

I.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

In my relationships, we do not have hierarchies. I do not have a one and a two or. Or a main boyfriend and a less main boyfriend. I don't do that because that just doesn't work for us.

[Monet X Change]

Jacob puts on his camera.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

That's not dragging anyone. Jacob, you are so ridiculous. Jacob, maybe you should chime in on those one, too. Jacob. But when I first. When actually. Jacob, turn your camera. I wanted to chime in on this one. When Jacob and I first started dating, we. I let him know. I was like, well, I'm not into a closed relationship. Jacob, turn your camera. I want you to join us.

[Monet X Change]

We were like, maybe Jacob doesn't want to talk. Now you're forcing Jacob to talk about something on camera you don't want to talk about.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

And I said, you know, I think that I might be interested in open relationship and probably even polyamory. But that was just like. But I was like, you're also the only boyfriend I have right now. So for right now, this is all. This is all that's going on. And then the moment that I was interested in dating someone else, I told Jacob right away, like, immediately, I Let

[Monet X Change]

Jacob know how long in between, though. How long. How long is this? Like, Jacob, I think I might go to. I want to date someone else. Like, I was talking about a week, a month, a year.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I told Jacob that I was, like, texting back and forth with Ezra and, like, pretty much immediately before I. Before actually before I even met Ezra, I already told Jacob before I even met him. We're actually on a cruise ship. And then when we got back from cruise ship, I was like, I'm gonna hang out with. With Ezra and see if anything comes of this. Before I even met Ezra in person, I told Jacob. And then when Jacob. When Ezra and I were decided to start dating, I told Jacob immediately. Like, as soon as Ezra and I parted ways, I told Jacob. I maybe. I maybe told him why I was still there with Ezra. Fall. I know.

[Monet X Change]

How do you tell him why you. Like, why you met Ezra for the first time? You told Jacob you wanted.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Before I ever saw Ezra with my own eyes, I told Jacob I was gonna go meet him.

[Monet X Change]

Right. And then. So how long before that were y' all boyfriends? I mean, after that, were y' all boyfriends, is my question. Like after the conversation with the initial conversation.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Maybe a couple of. Maybe a couple of months. I mean, I went back to New York City, and then maybe like maybe three months went by, I think. And then. And then we started dating on my second trip to la, I think. Jacob, how do you remember? I would say it was about a week or two weeks in between. You think? So I can try to figure out exactly when it was by looking on my phone, if you said we were on it. Because I remember it was on a trip that I returned to New York City. And I don't. I mean, to la. And I don't think it was a week in between those trips. Was. Was sometime in November. It was. It was between some trip. I remember it was one trip to la, and then the second trip to la. Ezra and I started dating. Dotting.

[Monet X Change]

Dotting. Yeah.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I feel like it was not that long. I think it was maybe two weeks.

[Monet X Change]

Well, I think the bottom line is, like, being honest, like, talking to your partner about, like, don't, like, don't do some sneak shit. Don't be like, somebody and then be like, I want to do polyamory. And you're like, okay. Then, like, then, you know, I mean, being honest, being open honestly with your partner is letting them know what's up. I think is the key to co. Sign what Bob said.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Yeah, that sounds like some solid advice. There, people, I think we might have time just for.

[Monet X Change]

Oh, go ahead.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Yeah, I was about to say we have time for, like, one more. I feel. Uno, Maverick, Monet. So the LA Times recently released a short documentary following Joan Jett Black, the drag queen who ran for president in 1992. And maybe wonder if either one of you have considered running for president or any public office for that matter. And if so, what would be your platform? And just full transparency. I had to record this, like six times because my brain would not allow me to not call her Joan Jett Jackson for some reason. Yeah, I love Joan. Jeff Black. I don't know if you know. So Joan Jet Black is a really interesting person in American history. She ran for president, but it was. It was. It was kind of street theater. It was kind of like. Like she wasn't really super serious about it. She was really a lot of street theater. And she was actually able to get on the floor of the Democratic National Convention. They had to sneak her in, but she had to get in drag in the building, in the bathroom. She was able. Actually able to get down. There's actually. There's even a play about her. I don't know the name the of, but it's about Joan Jet Black.

[Monet X Change]

She kind of looked like hiding closet,

[Bob the Drag Queen]

because she had a gap.

[Monet X Change]

Yeah. And like, this is giving me, like, hiding closet. When she. When she, like, first came onto the scene on season 12, the play was called Ms. Black, specifically her in the pink suit.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

The play was called Ms. Black for President. Um, as of now, I have no desire to ever be in any political office for any reason ever at all. It just. It just does not speak to me. I would, at this current moment in my life and at no moment in my past have I ever considered running for political office. It sounds. I do not want to do that.

[Monet X Change]

Agreed. I. There's not any part of me that would ever want that. Literally. Not even a little bit. Not at all. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I also feel like I can affect change in policies and politics without actually being a politician.

[Monet X Change]

You can be the exchange you want to see in the world.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

You can be political without being a politician, for sure.

[Monet X Change]

Yeah. Yeah, I agree. I have no desire.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I also do. I don't want to. We never. I don't think I've ever backtracked on the pot, on the. On the advisor before. But I do want to say, in terms of the polyamory question, I just realized this. I think they also give yourself leniency to make some mistakes, especially if you're doing it for the first time ever. You're going to learn some stuff along the way. It might be a little bit bumpy. There might be some moments where you. Where you and your partner, where you do something that you. You know what it is. You're real. You're realizing in the moment what some of your boundaries are because it's so new to you. And you don't even know that it's a boundary of yours or that it's a boundary of your partner's because you've never, ever experienced this before. And when your partner does tell you this, I felt this way when you did this. Just try to hear them out and instead of getting defensive. I know that I've gotten defensive before, but I. But I eventually got around to the point where I was, like, listening and being like, I can hear you. I can hear why that would be upsetting. And you just really give each other space to explore what feels right to each other. You are not locked into anything. You're not locked into. If you feel one way on Monday and then you feel another way by Wednesday, it is okay that you've changed because you're exploring and finding out new things about yourself and your relationship and your partner and your dynamic, because your dynamic is changing. So I just want to throw that out there. You. You will. You will make.

[Monet X Change]

Don't. Don't be changing. Exactly. And I'm kidding.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

You will make some mistakes on the way and just try to really listen to what your partner has to say. And on top of just being open and honest, you need to really be receptive.

[Monet X Change]

Let me tell you something, okay? Kerri Colby posted this picture. Did you see what Kerri Colby posted today?

[Jacob]

No.

[Monet X Change]

On Instagram's most. On Instagram, on Carrie Colby's most, most recent post. Y', all. This is her post on today, May 2nd. It is 12:40am Eastern time. Three hours ago. So whatever time that is when you guys are hearing this, she better

[Bob the Drag Queen]

work. She better go.

[Monet X Change]

This is so hot. This is so hot.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

She better work, girl. Whatever. Whatever. Kevin lost. Carrie found it, honey.

[Monet X Change]

So hot. Like, so hot. Anyway, we get some good advice today, Bob. I was a little. I was a little nervous about what you would say, but you pulled through as you always do.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

You're always so great it that I want y' all to realize what money just did was just gave me a backhanded compliment when they tried to insult me and then end it with. And then end it with a compliment so that I responded. I would look crazy when they tried, when they insulted me and then immediately followed up with a compliment. So I would. So I would be like, oh, thank you. I ain't falling for that. I ain't no dumb ho.

[Monet X Change]

I'm gonna see you soon.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I'm so sorry to hear that. Where?

[Monet X Change]

Back at home.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Oh, yeah. I'll be back on the sixth.

[Monet X Change]

I'll be back. And I'm back with a capital back.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Well, I love you very much, and I hope that you will.

[Monet X Change]

I had to drop a little tea leaf for y'.

[Shannon Maldonado]

All.

[Monet X Change]

Y' all figure out what that means. Later, honey.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Yes, girl.

[Monet X Change]

Because I'm back with a capital back.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Goodbye.

[Monet X Change]

Bye.