Sibling Advicery: Fake Friends/Grindr Tips

Summary

Sibling Rivalry

Episode: Sibling Advicery: Fake Friends/Grindr Tips

Hosts: Bob the Drag Queen & Monét X Change
Date: January 3, 2022

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Episode Overview

This episode of Sibling Rivalry is a classic "advice-ery" session with Bob and Monét dishing out advice and hilarious commentary on topics submitted by their listeners. This time, hot-button questions include handling money woes, spotting fake friends after newfound popularity, tips for safely navigating Grindr, how to compassionately check problematic family about queer and trans issues, and dealing with religious guilt. Deeply personal anecdotes, sharp wit, and natural chemistry make this episode both relatable and side-splitting as ever.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Bob's Singing Aspirations & a Debate on Talent

(00:24 – 08:48)

• Bob opens the episode declaring he’s convinced he “sounds really good” when singing with headphones on – Monet quickly disagrees, launching them into a playful musical challenge.
• They debate over which Adele song Bob should attempt before Bob delivers an earnest (and rushed) rendition of "Someone Like You".
• The hosts discuss the importance of vocal lessons for aspiring singers. Monet suggests Bob take formal lessons, sharing how Frank Sinatra didn't discover his singing ability until later in life.
• Bob reveals his idea for a concert called “I’m Trying My Best,” featuring songs he has “no business singing,” but Monet worries about the risk to Bob's vocal cords after recent surgery.

Notable Quote:

“If only I had a friend with a fucking degree in music who could help me for free. If only I taught you how to sew, can you teach me how to fucking sing?”
— Bob (10:53)

2. Advice Disclaimer and the Room Temperature Saga

(08:48 – 10:50)

• The pair argue (in good fun) over just how literally listeners should take their advice, with Monet insisting she’s “an expert in what I’m talking about” and Bob issuing a legal disclaimer.
• Interspersed is a tangent about the sweltering heat in Bob’s house, which sets the loose, goofy tone for the advice session.

Notable Quote:

“That sounds like a lawsuit. So I just want to say out loud… take everything we say with a grain of salt.”
— Bob (09:39)

3. Money Management: Becoming a Millionaire, Step by Step

(15:44 – 20:45)

• Question: “I’m terrible with money. Help. Sincerely, a broke ass bitch."
• Bob and Monet’s biggest tip is building multiple income streams and prioritizing savings over immediate gratification (like cutting subscriptions and eating out).
• Bob passionately plugs opening a Roth IRA before 25 as a path to millionaire status, explaining compounded growth.
• Monet shares incremental savings hacks, like putting aside a growing dollar amount each week – though Bob jokes it’s not as effective as it sounds.
• Both agree: Start somewhere, even if it’s small, and keep scaling up!

Notable Quote:

“A Roth IRA before you are 25, by the time you are at retirement age, you will be a millionaire.”
— Bob (16:47)

4. Clout Chasers & Navigating Newfound Popularity

(21:07 – 29:54)

• Question: “I’ve suddenly become TikTok famous… How do you tell clout chasers apart from genuine connection?”
• Monet honestly shares she’s satisfied with her close friends and is wary of people trying to network under the guise of friendship.
• The duo distinguishes between professional networking and friendship—be direct about intentions, and if someone’s after “clout,” it’ll show.
• Bob notes there’s nothing inherently wrong with befriending people for mutually beneficial reasons, comparing it to dating someone for their looks, and shares how he and Todrick became friends through mutual professional admiration.
• They unpack the term "clout chaser," clarifying it’s negative only when it’s one-sided.

Memorable Exchange:

“There’s nothing wrong with being interested in someone because they're hot, or because they have something you like... as long as it feels mutual.”
— Bob (26:50)

“Clout chasers specifically are people who are friends with you to get something and not give you anything back. They want more followers, they want free stuff...”
— Monét (28:39)

5. Grindr & Hookup App Tips for the Newly 18

(31:35 – 38:40)

• Question: “I just turned 18 and downloaded Grindr. Any tips?”
• Bob reflects on the power of “being young and beautiful,” while Monet advises listeners to be honest about their boundaries and desires before hooking up—it’s much easier to say no online than in-person.
• They stress the importance of safety and watching out for red flags (having both been robbed before).
• Bob humorously points out that attraction gets easier as you get older and more confident.

Notable Quote:

“If you leave a sexual encounter feeling a little less, take note, and don’t do that again. Do more of what feels good and less of what doesn’t.”
— Bob (33:14)

“Being very rigid in what you’re really open to...that’s how you get a mutual experience that’s also safe.”
— Monet (34:41)

6. Annoying Friends Who Love to Sing

(38:40 – 43:06)

• Question: “My best friend loves singing but she’s not good... how do we let her know?”
• Monet admits that, as a trained singer, being around off-key singers was annoying in school, but cautions against hurting a friend’s feelings just for loving to sing.
• Bob defends the joy of singing, arguing that fun should trump annoyance unless the behavior is arrogant or dominating.
• They poke fun at themselves and their drag queen circles, full of loud, unfiltered artistic expression.
• Consensus: Don’t cruelly crush a friend’s joy over something as harmless as singing.

Notable Quote:

“If she’s having fun and you just don’t want to see her having fun, that’s kind of shady, baby.”
— Bob (41:01)

7. Educating “Problematic” Family about Queerness and Transness

(44:19 – 49:54)

• Question: “How do you educate family who are occasionally problematic about queerness and transness, but keep your energy?”
• Bob shares his unique experience of having a fiercely supportive, liberal mom who protects him (and the queer community) online.
• He points out how grace with family can inspire us to approach strangers with more compassion too.
• Monet advocates for correcting pronouns in the moment and bringing trans/non-binary friends into family circles to foster familiarity and empathy.

Notable Quote:

“You are so well positioned to make a difference… They know you, they love you, and they trust you. You’re gonna have more impact than any advocate on television.”
— Bob (51:16)

8. Overcoming Religious Guilt/“Church Hurt”

(53:35 – 60:59)

• Question: “How do I unpack religious trauma after growing up conservative and leaving the faith?”
• Both hosts grew up in the church and share their journeys. Monet identifies the sense of community as the thing she missed, while Bob unpacks the fear-based tactics churches use to reinforce morality.
• They urge listeners to seek support groups for “church hurt,” and to find new communities (like drag, music, or secular book clubs) that replicate the positive aspects of church without the trauma.

Notable Quote:

“I started to realize I am capable of finding a moral compass without being told what it is... I don’t need to be told not to kill because I’ll get punished in the afterlife. I don’t want to kill because it would not feel good to do so.”
— Bob (58:55)

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Notable Quotes by Timestamps

• On Roth IRA advice:
  “A Roth IRA before you are 25, by the time you are at retirement age, you will be a millionaire.”
  — Bob (16:47)
• On recognizing and handling clout chasers:
  “Clout chasers specifically are people who are friends with you to get something and not give you anything back.”
  — Monet (28:39)
• On hooking up and self-care:
  “If you leave a sexual encounter feeling a little less...don’t do that behavior next time.”
  — Bob (33:14)
• On joy and self-expression:
  “If she’s having fun and you just don’t want to see her having fun, that’s kind of shady, baby.”
  — Bob (41:01)
• On advocacy within family:
  “You are so well positioned to make a difference… They know you, they love you, and they trust you.”
  — Bob (51:16)
• On religious trauma:
  “I was a Christian out of fear… Christianity was a very fear-based religion. You’re gonna go to hell!... I am capable of finding a moral compass without being told what it is.”
  — Bob (56:29; 58:55)

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Memorable & Funny Moments

• Bob and Monet’s “sing-off” of Adele songs, including Bob’s mock audition for “Adele in the movie” (04:03).
• Repeatedly roasting each other about house temperatures, singing ability, and old drag queen friends using crystals as deodorant (09:03; 31:02).
• The ongoing “is that Van Morrison or Van Jones?” confusion about “Moondance” (06:56).
• Discussion about problematic Bible translations and the idea that God is a “drama queen” (57:24).
• The idea for a “drag queen chorus” including famous Drag Race vocalists (61:03).

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Timestamps for Important Segments

• Bob’s singing with/without headphones: 00:24 – 05:15
• Advice disclaimer & banter: 09:39 – 10:50
• Money advice & Roth IRA talk: 15:44 – 20:45
• Clout chasers vs. genuine friends: 21:07 – 29:54
• Grindr tips & safety: 31:35 – 38:40
• Dealing with annoying singers: 38:40 – 43:06
• Educating problematic family: 44:19 – 49:54
• Unpacking religious shame: 53:35 – 60:59
• Drag queen chorus idea: 61:03 – 62:43

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Conclusion

As always, Bob and Monet deliver both hilarious drag banter and heartfelt advice with the perfect balance of shade and sincerity. Through open conversation about finances, friendship, dating, family dynamics, and healing from religious trauma, they remind listeners it’s okay to seek joy, protect yourself, and stand up for what’s right—whether in a drag show, a family reunion, or a Grindr chat.

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If you missed the episode, this summary covers the big ideas, the best zingers, and the moments you’ll want to revisit. For the full experience, check the timestamps above and dive in where you need the most advice (or the biggest laugh).

Transcript

[A]

My name is Bob the Drag Queen,

[B]

and I'm Monet X. James, and this is sibling rivalry.

[A]

So I have noticed that when I sing with headphones on, I sound really good.

[B]

That's everyone.

[A]

No, but, like, I think. I really do, though. Like, I think if people heard me, there's an episode of Fresh Prince where I forgot to do the Monet the morning. If y' all watching online, you see what I just did. There's an episode of Fresh Prince where Layla Ali. What was her character?

[B]

Tatiana Ali.

[A]

Just a boxer.

[B]

Tatiana Ali was a boxer as well.

[A]

I mean, Layla Ali is a boxer. Oh, yeah. Tatiana Ali is in, like. She's in, like, some stories. She's, like, listening to headphones. She's singing, and someone goes, oh, my God. And they, like, discover her. And I'm like, I used to have visions of that happening for me as well. And I really feel like if you all heard me singing with headphones, y' all would be like, jan who?

[B]

Bitch, please. That's not how.

[A]

That.

[B]

That's not how.

[A]

You've never heard me sing with headphones on. That. Let's do it.

[B]

Do it.

[A]

What song should I sing?

[B]

That Neodell song? Easy on Me.

[A]

If you just bring my fanny pack, my dear, you want to gag and I want the real tea. Oh, I can't go easy on my baby.

[B]

Did you watch her interview with Oprah?

[A]

I did not.

[B]

Why? You know, you're a big Adele, Stan. You used to love Adele.

[A]

I love Adele, but I've never really been super into her interviews, and so I just really love her music.

[B]

Well, it was a. It was a concert mix of the interview.

[A]

So I saw clips of it online, went very viral. I saw clips of. Of Adele when she surprised that woman on her wedding day. And then her teacher from, like, kindergarten came.

[B]

Well, I will say the interview was pretty boring. The interview was not exciting. She did not reveal anything crazy. It was fine.

[A]

Yeah, Adele. Adele doesn't have, like, controversy or anything.

[B]

Not controversy, but she has some pretty. Well, for her, some pretty traumatic things that happened to her over the past couple of years.

[A]

That is true.

[B]

Leaving her husband, having the kid, and all the insecurities of that. But even when she tried to drop those bombshells in interview, I was like, not the kid.

[A]

Not the kid.

[B]

Like, it was her first time her kids saw her performing live. And I was like, a big moment for her. I'm like, is that a big moment?

[A]

So what song should I sing?

[B]

Easy on Me.

[A]

I don't really know that song that well, and it Also doesn't.

[B]

Rolling in the deep.

[A]

It doesn't really show my powerhouse vocals rolling into deep. I'm gonna do Sapphire to the Rain.

[B]

Gonna set fire to my fucking eardrums.

[A]

Okay, here we go. Here we go.

[B]

This is without headphones.

[A]

I'm gonna do it without headphones first, and we'll see if there's a difference. All right, here we go.

[B]

Also, you guys, please feel free to chime in on any advice you have for Bob about his singing voice.

[A]

No. What's the song I sang that time that I sounded good.

[B]

I know.

[A]

I heard.

[B]

No, Someone like you. Someone like you. You did sing that.

[A]

Someone like you. Are you ready? Oh, yeah. Here it starts again.

[B]

Any advice, please? All right, here we go.

[A]

And also any advice you guys have for Monet singing, feel free to chime in. All right, here we go. Someone like you I heard that you don't look at me okay. And don't make any faces I'm not. That you settle down that you found a girl and you're married now I heard that your dreams came true all right. With headphones. Ready? Yeah. Should I just go straight to the good part of the song?

[B]

That's. You don't want to pace yourself. Yeah. So we got. So we have the same thing.

[A]

Do what?

[B]

The same. The same thing you just sang.

[A]

Okay, here we go. My name is Bobby Drag Queen. I'll be auditioning for the role of Adele in the movie. The movie. 75. She died at 75.

[B]

Here we go.

[A]

I heard that you settled down that you found a girl and you're married now I heard that your dreams came true Guess she gave you things I want to keep going I didn't give to you oh, friend why are you so shy? Ain't like you to hold back oh, hide from the light why are you laughing at me? I was killing it. This is not the supportive environment I

[B]

was in before I did. Great. You listen. This.

[A]

Welcome to a sibling advisory. Honestly, I'm open to suggest if y' all have any advice for me on how to. I was also singing in Adele's Key.

[B]

You were? Because. So the first time you started, you were like. You were like. I mean, three steps down, and I was like, well, you know, three half steps.

[A]

A lot of professional singers.

[B]

Three semitones.

[A]

Oh, God. A lot of professional singers do that. They. They.

[B]

Oh, yeah. They don't sing on the key. The key you see in the concert, Kesha singing, praying. There's a compliment of her singing and praying on praying at all her concerts. I was like, Keep getting lower and lower.

[A]

I hope you somewhere praying Pray you

[B]

in the same key the whole time.

[A]

No.

[B]

Yes. You were just

[A]

praying. Pray, pray.

[C]

Oh.

[B]

When Django gets excited, he does this.

[A]

This is.

[B]

Oh, Jacob. Jacob. What is that called? That's part of the Millie roll.

[A]

Yeah. This is Jacob's little. His little, like, I'm killing it dance.

[B]

How you doing?

[A]

What do you think about my singing? Pharrell, be honest.

[B]

I think that your voice has gotten better since your surgery.

[A]

Okay. But specifically this performance, I think that

[B]

there are moments I think, honestly, you should try to get, like, have a voice lesson. Have you ever had a voice lesson in your life?

[A]

When I was in high school, I was in chorus.

[B]

In your adult life, you should have. You know. What's his name? Frank Sinatra.

[A]

Oh.

[B]

Didn't know he could sing until he was, like, in his 30s.

[A]

Well, it's a marvelous night for a moon dance with the stars up above in the sky. Frank S. Notcher, when he's fabulous night to make romance neath the color of October skies.

[B]

You know, the le.

[A]

That's not Frank Sinatra.

[B]

Who is that?

[A]

I think it's Van Morrison.

[B]

Van Jones.

[A]

J. Can you look up who sings moon dance? I think it's Van Morrison.

[B]

Van Jones.

[A]

I don't know who Van Jones is, but I know who Van Morrison is, and I think he sings Moondance. Van Morrison.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

You know, that's magic.

[B]

These songs are very old. I don't really fancy those kind of songs, but.

[A]

Oh, oh, but Scott Joplin or Moses Hogan is hip and new, but, you know, Moses Hogan.

[B]

What are those Are spirituals.

[A]

But they're older than Van Morrison. Honey, no. Yes.

[B]

Moses Hogan. When do you think Moses Hogan was alive?

[A]

I don't know. I don't know. I have no clue. I literally have no clue. I just assumed that because they were spiritual, they were written in, like, the 1600s.

[B]

Yeah, spiritualism. But Mogus Hogan. The Moses Hogan arrangement,

[A]

his arrangements. Yeah.

[B]

Frank Sinatra went his whole life not knowing he could sing. And then later on, they were like, he, like, had a voice lesson. He, like, started. He was like, oh, my God, I can sing.

[A]

I.

[B]

Before we get in wild.

[A]

Before we get into our advice, I have this other. This other crazy idea. What I thought of Beck in New York City way before the Pondery play, way before Omarion, before Delta Burke, before any of this stuff happened. I was like, I want to do a show at Joe's Pub called I'm trying my best, where I am legitimately and not in any funny way. Just doing a Concert and singing songs to the best of my. But like, songs that I have no business singing.

[B]

Bob, let me tell you how genuinely terrible that would be for your vocal cords. All the surge you just had, Bitch, them nose are gonna pop back up

[A]

like, hey, do you think what I did now was bad for my voice?

[B]

Yes.

[A]

Why didn't you say anything?

[B]

Bob, you know this is not good for your voice. You're straining your voice. You're screaming.

[A]

I was singing.

[B]

It's not healthy for your voice.

[A]

I was singing.

[B]

I think you should take a voice lesson for real and see what happens. Also, yit is so hot in this fucking house. Y' all have this bitch, y' all about white people cold. It's black people hot in here.

[A]

Well, me and Jacob had a chat and we have agreed on some things.

[B]

Jacob, this is good for you.

[A]

It is.

[B]

Jacob is melting.

[A]

This room specifically is affected the most with the air conditioning. And we don't spend time in here. So we. In order to get the temperature to a good heat in the rest of the house, this room gets really hot. It will cool down a little over the next hour as you record.

[B]

Oh, the next hour. Great.

[A]

We could crack a window or something.

[B]

It's so hot in this bitch.

[A]

So let's get into some advice. I hope you all are taking this advice with a grain of salt.

[B]

No, I take this for yourself. I am an expert in what I'm talking about. Ok. Take my advice literally.

[A]

That sounds like a lawsuit. So I just want to say out loud that for any. Not that for legal reasons, that is a joke. Monique, will you acknowledge for a legal reason that that is a joke? Take everything we say with a grain of salt. But I do hope that maybe you all get something out of. Out of our. Out of our. Do you want to take our first question, Mary?

[B]

I would take our first question audio first.

[A]

Yeah, I. There weren't any good ones this week. I asked for more submissions, so we'll have some. But Jacob, just drag Yalls audio submissions. The thing is, people leave, like, really long audio, like two minutes long. And we don't have time for that.

[B]

All right.

[A]

So try to keep your. Wow. Jacob says shut the for that.

[B]

Remember sweet brown?

[A]

Yeah, she. I said, oh, Lord Jesus fire.

[B]

I wasn't barbecued enough.

[A]

Maybe I did just injure my vocal cords.

[B]

Bob. I'm sorry. Was this news? You mean? Did you not think that you were straining your voice by screaming with headphones on that you can't hear yourself?

[A]

I was singing.

[B]

And then you want to do a Whole concert at Joe Pub, where you're just singing. You're singing.

[A]

I was gonna sing Celine Dion. All coming back to me now. Well, I actually want to do Power of Love. That's the singing.

[B]

That is a hard song.

[A]

Some I can't. Well, I don't. And I'm afraid to sing. Now you got me scared. Well, how can I sing without hurting myself?

[B]

Taking a voice lesson so you learn how to sing properly.

[A]

If only I had a friend who had a fucking degree in music who could just help me for free. If only I taught you how to sew. Can you teach me how to fucking sing?

[B]

I don't have the time. There's not enough.

[A]

I literally taught you how to sew.

[B]

Yeah, and do you know how that happened, Monet? Come to my house and hang out with me.

[A]

I'll come over.

[B]

Come to my house and hang out with me. I'll teach you how to sing.

[A]

I've been to your house before.

[B]

Great.

[A]

I got no lessons.

[B]

Okay, well, come.

[A]

Come over. I left with.

[B]

That wasn't on the table.

[A]

Do we need a piano or something? Or a keyboard? Do you have a keyboard in your home?

[B]

So I don't have a keyboard. So you have to. But you have to buy a keyboard. Bring the keyboard over, and then we could have some singing lessons.

[A]

I didn't make you buy a sewing machine.

[B]

Yes, you did.

[A]

How did I make you buy a sewing machine?

[C]

Yes, you did.

[A]

You had your own. You bought a sewing machine.

[B]

No, you told me that I needed to buy a sewing machine and I did.

[A]

Yeah, to sew.

[B]

Okay, so you need to buy keyboard to sing.

[A]

This is shady. I cannot read our first question that

[B]

is so far away.

[A]

Oh, this is mobile.

[B]

Yeah, let's keep it right here.

[C]

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[A]

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[C]

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[B]

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[A]

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[C]

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[B]

Can we talk about the queen? The ground down the diva? I just love this woman Rihanna.

[A]

You know I, I, I don't need to be sold on. I like Rihanna a lot. Not need to be sold on her.

[B]

Do you love this picture?

[A]

I do think she looks good. I I prefer some other pictures I've seen of Rihanna when I think of Rihanna. What's the outfit you think of when you first think of Rihanna?

[B]

The yellow Met. The yellow Met Gala dress. Same.

[A]

It's literally Met Gala. Whenever Riya Rihanna pops in my mind she's wearing that huge from China through the Looking Glass and I also think about her in one other scenario as well.

[C]

The

[B]

the fully stoned one.

[A]

No, it is the music video Bitch better have my money when the elevator opens and she has the dog. That is honestly one of my all time favorite music video. It is a brilliant because she gets for those of you who are Gen Xers who know Rihanna as the underwear lady and didn't know that Rihanna actually used to make music. It was like a huge massive chart topping artist.

[B]

She was like she has 14 number ones.

[A]

Yeah, I mean she was like up there with like maybe not the same like she was.

[B]

She was really Rihanna has more has had more number one hits than Beyonce

[A]

work then I'll take it back. She was up there with Beyonce but she, but she was just like when all the pop diva and princesses were there. I don't say diva. My friend of Monet. She'll scream at me. When the pop princesses were up there, she was one of the main ones. And my favorite Rihanna moment, hands down, was Bitch, I have My Money. The opening scene, she gets in the elevator with this lady and a bunch of luggage and then the elevator closes. It immediately opens. The woman is inside the suitcase. It suggests you can't see her. And then Rihanna's holding the dog and then goes, oh yeah. Oh la la. Yeah, yeah.

[B]

You would change the key if it's only the last thing you do.

[A]

Bitch better have my money. Bitch better have my money.

[B]

It's out there, man.

[A]

That doesn't even sound good though. At least I choose the key I can sing in.

[B]

No, you can sing in the higher one. You just choose not to. Okay. Speaking of money, our first question. Dear Bob and Monet, I'm terrible with money. Help. Sincerely a broke ass bitch.

[A]

That is such a short.

[B]

I mean honestly, money do make the world go round. And money is hard to manage. Especially you know, obviously some people have long term problems with money. You just can't seem to keep it, you can't seem to save, you can't seem to sort of stuff. And I get it. And I think for me how I manage my money when I was younger, I've just always, I've always been interested in working many jobs to, in, in order to have a savings, in order to support my life. And some people don't like doing that and they like working one job and living paycheck to paycheck. But I genuinely, I'm, I, I was super into working multiple jobs or to have some coins.

[A]

So I'm doing some math right now and I agree working multiple jobs is, is, I mean having multiple streams of income.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Is a very smart way to have money. Bitch better save some money. Let me give you some advice. This is advice that I did not know about until it was too late. But you can do this. Think about your future. When you think about money, you don't have to think about right now. You need to be setting yourself up for an opportunity to have money down the line. If you do a Roth IRA before you are 25, by the time you retire, you will be a millionaire. I'm going to say that one more time. A Roth IRA before you are 25, by the time you are at retirement age, you will be a millionaire. Because the growth is exponential. Not only that, it is just all you have to do is put in a minimum of $5,000 a year. That is $420 a month.

[B]

So I which is about 100 bucks a week, give or take.

[A]

That. That is. Yeah, that. That is a lot of money. But you also can think of places you can save money. Are you buying Starbucks, which is incredibly expensive. How often do you eat out?

[B]

Do you.

[A]

How many subscription services do you have? If you cancel your Netflix, if you cancel your Hulu, can you retire as a millionaire? Do you go to concerts? Do you buy, like, are you buying a lot of clothes, a lot of shoes, all that stuff? There are ways to save money now so that down the line you can have money.

[B]

And this person obviously did not give us a whole bunch of information. We don't know if you have kids, if you. If you are supporting friends and family. Like, there are a lot of pieces to the puzzle that we're missing to help advise you. But I think Bob is great, is a great. It has a great point about starting something like a Roth ira. If that's too much for you, honestly,

[A]

weekly the screen went out and I was trying to get it to this fucking.

[B]

Oh, windows. Oh, Mr. Gates. Got you together. And if $100 a week is too much for you, maybe start smaller, put 20 bucks a week. Or there are those things that happen at. Oh, my God, we're entering the new year. Those things that happen at the beginning of the year. Like week one, you put a dollar. Week two, you put two dollars. Week three, and by the end, you start. Like, that's not.

[A]

You can't.

[B]

What do you mean?

[A]

Wait, what do you say?

[B]

Like, at the end of. It's one of those calendars. So, like the first week. So the.

[A]

So. But what are you. What are you saying? Describe this. Because this sounds impossible.

[B]

What do you mean? Sounds impossible?

[A]

Okay, describe. Sorry, describe the. Because it's. Describe the process.

[B]

What am I saying? Oh, yeah. So there are 52 weeks in the year, right? Yes. So at the end of the first week, you save $1, you put that dollar in the bank.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

At the end of the second week, you put $2 in the bank. That's $3. And the third week, you put $3.

[A]

Are you doubling or are you just adding a dollar?

[B]

You're adding a dollar for the week, for the week count. So at the end of week four, you're putting $4 into the bank.

[A]

So how much money do you think that is at the end of the year?

[B]

I mean, listen, I don't know. It's a good place to start. If you can't save anything. I think that's a good place to start.

[A]

There's a Movie with Eddie.

[B]

Can you look?

[A]

Google babes. Eddie Murphy and Bowfinger. No. Is it both? No, no.

[B]

Eddie Murphy.

[A]

It might be Bowfinger. Eddie Murphy. And who's that white guy from?

[B]

Steve Martin.

[A]

Steve Martin.

[B]

Bowfinger, I believe.

[A]

And Eddie Murphy has been saving, like, a dollar a week every week his whole life. Steve Martin, Eddie Murphy. And then he's gonna make a movie. Was it Bowfinger? And then he's like, I've been saving all this money. And then he counted it, and he would be saving. I've been saving a dollar a week for, like, 14 years or whatever. In your head, you're like, wow, that's gonna be a lot. I mean, opens up and it's like $4,000 or something.

[B]

But you know what it is you put it into? There's a certain account you put it into, and then that account begins. I mean, it's not. You're not. You're not, like, gonna make $3 million in a year. But if you do that for a certain amount of time, like, the way the account works, it, like, multiplies on itself, like all savings accounts do. But it's a. But it's a very drastic one. I'll try to do some research and find out what it is. Or someone listening probably knows what it is.

[A]

But anyone who listens to the robbery knows. That means we will not do any research. You will never see a post about this. The picture will not show up on the screen. The fact that we got that Bob the Drag Queen alarm is. I was listening. I was like, oh, my God, we actually got one in there. This is crazy.

[B]

Oh, my God. You listen to the podcast?

[A]

I listen to, yes. Each one of our podcasts. This might shock you.

[B]

Next question.

[A]

Dear Bob and Monet, I don't think I even know how to use this thing. I don't know how. There we go. Dear Bob Monet, I've recently become Tik Tock famous. Definitely not the same level as y', all, but. Well, probably. Probably as famous. Definitely not the same as level as y', all, but all of a sudden, people are coming out of the woodwork wanting to hang out, go on dates, or just collaborate. How do you tell clout chasers, apart from genuine connection? Sincerely, Fake friends. No new friends.

[B]

Hello. I've said this on the podcast before. I think the one about friendship. I reached a point in my life where I don't have the desire to get new friends. I have about. I have, like, five best friends in my life that I am so content with and so happy with. And I have other friends that I am really content with having my life and I don't feel the need, like, if, like other friends come genuinely and like, you know, and I speak spark a genuine friendship with people and that begins to grow into something that's cool. But like, like this, like people reaching out to me online to want to hang out and this. And I genuinely don't have any desire for that, so. And cloud chasers are real. They are people who legitimately only want to be your friend for what you can do for them on social media.

[A]

Well, what if, what if it's not friendship, but it is genuine professional networking?

[B]

But that's different. Then you say that you like, hey, can we collab on a video together? I'll do one on your channel, you do one on mine. Don't be like, hey, can we go out to coffee and hang out, bitch? Because now you're, you are, you are. Like, that sounds like you want to start a friendship. Like if you want to have a professional working relationship, hey, I love your channel. Do you want to do a video cooking on my channel? And I'm the one smoking weed on yours. Like, come, come at me, come at me. Correct. While this is obviously not you actually, actually. Can we do a video on your YouTube? Can we do a video on your YouTube where I'm getting progressively. I'm going to do two of my YouTube.

[A]

Get out there.

[B]

YouTube.

[A]

Hold on.

[B]

Can I finish?

[A]

I'm really concerned to my voice right

[B]

now because you're screaming. I tell you not to scream.

[A]

You did not tell me, Bob.

[B]

Your doctor told you. And he, you know what?

[A]

He has more, more credit.

[B]

You should listen.

[A]

But it's been like over six weeks, which I was supposed to wait six weeks, but like, I feel a tingle. Am I being like a paranoid?

[B]

You're being paranoid. It's not okay. For just for the record, your vocal cords are two very strong and resilient muscles. You, you doing all that right now is not going to dick crusher. You do that right now, it's not going to destroy your cores. But if you, if you do your little concert of Joe's publishing, you'll be right back at the doctor's office. So I think discerning what type of friends and if they are hitting you up, be like, hey, do you want to just work on a video together or are you like really trying to hang out with friends? I think being direct, you always get the best answer and sometimes they might lie and then you can deal with that later.

[A]

That is true. To quote Lecale47, I know you're looking up some shit. I wanted to get the full thing. You know, I'm not open to new friends. I wanted to get the full quote, but I couldn't find it. But, yeah, I'm not. I am. I love her. Like, she goes, I'm introverted. I'm not open to new friends. But then I have moved across the country and I was like, I'm open to new friends. Because when I was living in New York City, between you Peppermint.

[B]

Yeah, you better say me first. Fuck that black bitch. Talk about me first.

[A]

Oh, my God. Anyway, you, Peppermint, Mateo, Nick, Alfredo, Patty. Wow.

[B]

Patty's at the bottom of the list.

[A]

There is no hierarchy in this list. The list is just. I'm just saying people's names. And then of course, also friends like Keisha Carr, Jasmine Rice, Pixie Aventura's third. Oh, my God. Who I didn't see every single week, but were also big parts of my life. I had a lot of friends in New York City.

[B]

You know what I mean?

[A]

But now in la, a bitch is open to new friends. I will say I do spend, but having two partners is very time consuming.

[B]

So you're saying it's exhausting.

[A]

No, it is rewarding. And I'm very happy to be with these two amazing, loving people. And I'm happy to have people like you in my life, despite your behavior.

[B]

In spite of my behavior. What is the difference between in spite and despite?

[A]

Despite means it can happen. Like without something.

[B]

So, like, they're synonyms, though?

[A]

No, they're not.

[B]

Okay, despite it. It can happen.

[A]

Despite when something can happen. Like. Like I. This happened despite what you said. So, like, even though you said it, it had no bearing on myth and in spite, meaning it is happening specifically to contradict something. So you're succeeding in spite of you like to. To get at you is spiteful. It is spiteful, Jacob.

[B]

Is that right?

[A]

We can also just google it. Yeah. Despite is without something. Without it doesn't affect it. And in spite of is like it is specifically with the like almost like the idea of vengeance against the person. It's very spiteful.

[B]

You got your little dropout degree. You think you're looking. So that's your advice for them. So you are looking for new friends?

[A]

No. Well, my advice is, how do you find new friends? Well, here's the thing. I don't think there's anything wrong with being friends with someone if it benefits you, if it feels mutual and is based on what that attraction is, what you're getting from them. If it feels equal to what they're getting from you and you don't feel shady about it, I think it's fine. I was thinking about the idea of, like, dating someone because you think or like being physically into someone, like for the first week or whatever, just because they're hot, like, only because they're hot. I don't think that's any different than being interested in someone because you have something in common, because they're rich, because of their job, because of their social status. And then I think down the line, you got to figure out if you actually are compatible. But I don't think there's anything wrong with being interested in someone for like a date just because they're wealthy or

[B]

just because it's not a date. It's.

[A]

I'm just correlating.

[B]

When you talk about friendship, I think that's different than sexual. Like, because sexual, that's instant gratification. But if you're becoming a friend to someone, that's a long term thing.

[A]

But what if your relationship. Well, damn, Andy Monet said this shit ain't long term. Andy, please don't listen. Andy, don't listen. Does he listen to our podcast?

[B]

He does.

[A]

Jacob listens to him. My partner listens to him. But I think, I think, yeah, Jacob, yeah.

[B]

That's literally force.

[A]

I think that if you are friends with someone because they inspire you professionally, I don't think that's a problem. Maybe it's because they feel inspired by. It's like, wow, you are such a mover and a shaker. A big part of why I am friend, like Todrick hall and I are friends because he does inspire me. Professor. He's such a hard worker. He's always doing stuff. I was at his rehearsal the day I was like, this is insane. This guy is so insanely talented.

[B]

So is that why you became friends with Todrick?

[A]

I became friends with Todrick because, quite frankly, because he was reaching out to me. And y' all had a mutual. And we had a mutual respect for each other. We both appreciated each other's artistry.

[B]

Right. So I think that you and I

[A]

are the same way. Like, we had a respect for each other's artistry or I was. I was inspired by something in you, even as a baby drag queen. And you were inspired by something. Is an established New York City icon.

[B]

I don't, I don't think. All right, well.

[A]

And you can't tell. And, and I think the word term clout Chaser is getting a bad rap. I think that I disagree because I think that wanting to hang out with some because. Because they inspire you professionally might be considered a clout chaser.

[B]

But no, because you. Clout chasers specifically are people who are friends with you to get something and not give you anything back. They want more followers.

[A]

Is that what a cloud chaser is?

[B]

Yeah, they want more followers. They want free stuff because you get free stuff. Like, that's what. That's what cloud chasers are.

[A]

But what if you are offering something? What if you're offering, like what? I don't know. For example, if someone is like, you don't have any friends, that you're like, hey, if we're like, hanging out together, feel free to tag me because you can get some clout off of it. But also, I get something from our friendship as well.

[B]

I don't. I can't. I can't think of one friend I have like, that I don't have any friends that we hang out and like, hey, tag me or post. I really genuinely can't think of anything like that. But also, I haven't. I haven't made any friends. And new friends I have made here in la. That's not our relationship. Like Sadie, like Michael, like Godoy. That's not our. That's not our.

[A]

I guess I don't have any friends like that either. I mean, I have friends who I consider good friends who asked me to tag them and stuff. Like, Mateo asked me to tag him and stuff.

[B]

That's different.

[A]

You asked me to tag her and stuff.

[B]

But you, you and Mateo had a friendship. That, that tagging thing came, like, later. Mateo didn't become friends with you, so, so that he. So that you will tag him and stuff. You and Mateo formed a friendship, and then later on he was like, bob, I had this income, like, can you post it for me, please?

[A]

Sure. We don't know why Mateo. In fact, we should. We should call him.

[B]

Oh, my God. So, I mean, take what you can from Bob's side of it. What I think about it and, you know, move and shake that way.

[A]

Can you smell me?

[B]

Oh, girl, you're right. And this room is warm, bitch. I feel like I have. It's in the unknown, girl. I am Elsa. I'm under the sea battling that horse

[A]

bitch, because I didn't wear deodorant today.

[B]

But I love you. Is it really.

[A]

It's not bad, though.

[B]

It's not bad, but I can smell her.

[A]

There was a turn in our. There was a moment in our friendship when I just kind of started. Stop. When I just.

[B]

I remember. And I used to call you out

[A]

on it, but I think I feel healthier.

[B]

But you also wear this fucking crystal shit that don't fucking work. Remember when Judy used to rub crystals? Oh, and you used to gag, and now you're fully that girl.

[A]

But no, Judy was on a. Judy. If you.

[B]

I love you.

[A]

You and I both know Judy was on another level.

[B]

Girl.

[A]

Girl.

[B]

Judy would fumigate the entire home. Girl.

[A]

I mean, she. I don't know. She did. I think I sat her down and I talked to her.

[B]

That mama sat down and talked to her. Every time you have these white people living your home, Caitlyn, you had to get Caitlin together. Judy had to sit down, talk about her.

[A]

I said, judy, girl, more than. What is this shady to talk about?

[B]

I don't think so. Judy is. She's very open about using crystals, and she doesn't.

[A]

Yeah. Charge her crystals in the moon and then rub them on her own. Girl. Under her armpits. I said, judy, More than one drag queen has referred to you by talking to me as the smelly drag queen. Do with that information what you will. And then next thing I know, she supercharged her crystals because she didn't smell anymore.

[B]

Dear Bob and Monet, I just turned 18 and downloaded Grindr and the other apps. Any tips on how to use it? Uber Eats.

[A]

What are the restaurants?

[B]

Jax.

[A]

Spotify.

[B]

Any tips on how to use it and maximize its potential? How do you make sure you stay safe? Sincerely. Grind her, question mark. I hardly even know her.

[A]

Grind her. I hardly even know her. I'll go first on this one. You know, let me say right now, there's something I learned in life. Being young and beautiful is so powerful, but the people who are young and beautiful really don't know it.

[B]

Oh, for sure.

[A]

How powerful it is, because.

[B]

And the ones who do know it, bitch, they're dangerous.

[A]

Yes, girl. When they say youth is wasted on the young, bitch, they're not fucking around like you. Like you. You might be beautiful forever, but youth and beauty together is crazy. It is bananas. And I had this moment where I went back and looked at pictures of myself when I was younger, and I was like, I was so gorgeous. But I really thought. At the time, I thought I wasn't.

[B]

Oh, yeah, for sure.

[A]

At the time, I was like, I'm a dog. I hate it. It's gross. I remember thinking I had a belly. Well, bitch, guess who's back at the house. Cause she really. Guess who's big at the house.

[B]

I really do have a belly now.

[A]

This is not up for debate. I remember being like, I'm not me thinking I had a belly. I remember my mom be like, you don't have a belly. And I do remember the day that I started saying I had a belly and she stopped saying, you don't have a belly. I was like, I have a belly. She was like, anyway, so what y'

[B]

all gonna have for what y' all

[A]

want for lunch today? And I think that as long as you are respecting your body by all your own standards, which I will say, when you're young, those standards may or may not be fierce. That might be. You might have no standards for respecting your body. But I think that if you leave a sexual encounter feeling a little less. If you feel degraded in a way that doesn't feel good to you unless your kink is degrading, but if their kink is degrading, it should still feel good. I mean, if you leave, in a way not feeling good about yourself or your decisions, I would say take note of that and then don't do that behavior next time. And the stuff that feels good, do more of that. You know what I mean? You're young. You really have the world that you're. The world is your oyster.

[B]

I agree. I mean, since you're 18, you just download the app. I think being as open as possible is how you can maximize this potential. But also. But in the parameters of being open, making sure those things fall in line with what you like. If you like people who only like to fucking suck dick, or if you only like sucking dick, like, make sure you seek those things. And if someone is ask. If someone is asking you already in the app to go outside that bitch. When you get in person in real life, it's even harder to say no. And I talk about from experience. I've gone to experiences where I had, like, a hard line of what I wanted to do, and when I got there, the person was hot and, like, I felt bad saying no about what I didn't want to do. So I ended up doing shit I wasn't even interested in.

[A]

And that's how they smoked meth the first time.

[B]

Yeah, that was the third time. You just wanted. You're the first. So I think, like, being very rigid in what you're really open to. But if you are someone who, like, you're like, you know, I'm interested in trying things and look for people who are. Look for people who are as much into the things that you are into that. And they are. Because I think that's how you get, like, a mutual experience. That's also safe. Because staying safe on Grindr is hard, girl. Staying safe from two girls who've been

[A]

robbed and robbed, bitch.

[B]

Hello.

[A]

And I will say this too, also, my Grinder hookup was so long ago. That was not Grindr. I think it was Adam. For Adam.

[B]

Craigslist. Craigslist was what? I cannot even believe I used to hook up on Craigslist, girl.

[A]

The wild, wild west. We're going straight, dude. Anyway, still singing Wild, wild West. Is that bad for your voice?

[B]

No, that sounded good, actually.

[A]

The wild, wild, the wild. I think that's where my voice is.

[B]

I think you need to lift your soft palate.

[A]

I think I'm more of like a.

[B]

I think you need to listen.

[A]

Yeah. Something there.

[B]

There is something.

[A]

There was song I was singing.

[B]

No, What it is. You're.

[A]

You're singing Habanero.

[B]

I did not know that was. That's what that was. When you're singing, you're like. You're putting so much pressure. You can't try to, like. Like a yawn. That's where that's. Yeah.

[A]

Oh, I gotta get. I gotta. My lessons are started.

[B]

Do you see? How does that feel? Easier than.

[A]

But it doesn't sound as good.

[B]

Yeah. Okay. Because that's because you're beginning to access and get engaged.

[A]

I was like, because you want it.

[B]

Because you want your sound to be present here and not here.

[A]

Do it.

[B]

That's not. Stop doing that. Because you're not even doing it correctly.

[A]

You're like.

[B]

Yeah, you are bashing your chords like this.

[A]

That's what really did.

[B]

All right, stop. Go back to the thing.

[A]

Also, 18 is now when I say young and beautiful, you are a little too young to be desirable by most people, not by everyone. It really kicks in around 20, 21, 22.

[B]

You think 22, 22.

[A]

It's when you can go to the club. Like, 2018 is kind of like a lot of us going to be like, ew, don't want that. Listen to me. When you turn 22. 3. When you turn 22, bitch. Like, for example, the same person looking the exact Same way at 37. When you're 22, you get like, five extra points. Like, if you were. Or if you were a seven, you're now a nine. Just because you're 22 in the club, bitch. I moved to New York City at 22. Like, that was a crazy time. That is a. That is a crazy age in general.

[B]

Yeah, you know, all right, stay safe.

[A]

But also, fun fact, there is also an age where you where. So I think there's age where it kind of like dips for me anyway. And it was around like 27, but 33, it's like you entered a whole

[B]

new category for you too. Because, like, I feel like the older I get, I'm so much more secure about, like, in my 20s, I was so insecure about my body and what I had to offer, what I could do and what I couldn't do. I know what I get. I'm like, this is what I got. I'm fierce. You're fucking welcome. You know what I mean? So I think it's just getting. Being more mature and being so much more confident.

[A]

Yeah, I think 33 is a hot age. 22 is a hot age.

[B]

47.

[A]

I think 40 is a hot age. 47. 40, 40 is a hot age. And 50 is a hot age. 47 is literally just another year on the calendar.

[B]

No, 47 is hot money.

[A]

You just connecting to a 47 year

[B]

old you, who you're obsessed with.

[A]

Was that the Uber driver? Was it Uber Eats? UberEats? 47? He was.

[B]

Uber Eats. Was. He was in his 40s in 47,

[A]

but he is now. Dear Bob Monet, my best friend loves singing, but she's not good. And it kind of annoys everybody in our group. Like, she randomly tries to show off and sing at any possible moment and it's awful. How do we let her know? Sincerely, Mariah Scarry. Ha. This sounds like people. I think that you go ahead, you start this one.

[B]

I've had those friends. Well, I went to arts high school, I went to a singing college. I have been around singers who sing constantly, all the time. And it was not great. But if it is like a personal friend, it was like, I don't know how to even navigate that because. Okay, does this person think that they're good? Like, does she. She loves singing, but she's not good. Like, does she know she's not good and she's just doing it to be annoying? If that's the thing, I'd be like, girl, please stop talking. Give her the fucking Whoopi Goldberg. But if this person is thinks that she's like, she's a good singer and she thinks she's turning the party, I think you have to find a way to have that conversation and not be mean and like, hurt her feelings about it because she thinks she's fierce and it's like, how do you. How do you say That I don't even know.

[A]

I mean, how bad could her singing be? I mean, I have. Okay. I think that my two friends who sing the most are Monet and Mateo. They just. I mean, just sing.

[B]

I. Well, I do not sing that often,

[A]

Jake. I'm not gonna make jerk into this. Monet sings all the time. All, like, all the time. I don't think you even. It's like dancers. Yeah. We'll be all sitting around and Monet will do that. And like, like, dancers. Dancers be like, sit in funny ways. They be jataying down the street. It'd be. It'd be a lot better.

[B]

They'd be cornbread jataing.

[A]

But also, if it makes. If she's having fun and she's enjoying herself, like, leave her alone. Like, I mean, if her singing is that annoying to you, I think you might just not like to see her having fun. Like, granted, she might be an awful singer, but she's having fun. She's enjoying herself. Is she being, like, arrogant about it? Is she like. And you bitches could never. I'm the fucking singer of this group. Or she's just having fun singing. I think if she's having fun and you just don't want to see her having fun, that's kind of shady, baby.

[C]

Why?

[A]

They look good. How do you feel about that? Like, if there's an annoying singer. You went to school, so you must

[B]

have been a song. I have been around annoying singers. Singers who can sing and then they sing very well. But hearing someone just sing all the time is very annoying. Like, just randomly, all the time. I sing a lot, but I don't sing all the time. Like, we're playing around. Like, they have moments.

[A]

But you know who sings all the time?

[B]

Who?

[A]

The rap goddess of New York City.

[B]

Oh, Rose all the time. Does she? I never really hung out with Rose like that.

[A]

She's like, eh. She just speaks words and then she just sings them. She'll be like, what was it? Who was she arguing with? And she goes, that's what you just said. It was someone on the show. She was like, you just did that. And to me, like, I don't. I just honestly don't see the problem with that. And I. And I get that people are like, it's annoying. But I don't know, she's just like, she just likes singing. Like, I honestly don't see what the big deal is. It kind of. But I will say this. It kind of reminds me of someone now. You know?

[B]

It is annoying.

[A]

Someone who's not funny. And demands to constantly tell jokes. That. That is. No. People like people in general.

[B]

You don't know. You don't know anyone like that.

[A]

I do not know any drag queens named Tina Burner. Who. No. Can be. Can be very funny. But. No, but, you know, like. But also the thing about people telling jokes that aren't funny is, like, the laughter is what encourages it. Right. I don't fake laugh. So we would just be sitting here looking awkward as hell while you cracking jokes. We'll just be like, at the door, blink.

[B]

Hey, I'm pleased with that sound effect.

[A]

Yeah, like a little. I. I just honestly think that. But also, to be fair, I don't know how much singing she's doing. Awful. Is in all caps. It's awful. But I just think that she's having fun, and maybe if you can't stand it, you should limit your interaction with her. I don't think it's fair to ask her to stop singing.

[B]

This is hysterical to me. For someone who is so annoyed by people laughing at the end of their sentences, this is hysterical.

[A]

I'm like, I don't like it, but

[B]

now this person will annoy someone singing all the time, and you're like, it's okay. Let them have fun.

[A]

Well, the reason why. This is the reason why the singing seems. I'm assuming it brings her joy, and the laughter seems to be a nervous response. It is awkward because they feel. I'm assuming, because they feel awkward. So because they feel awkward, I feel awkward, and I don't like being around awkward energy.

[B]

That was one thing on the list. There were, like, nine other things.

[A]

And apples. You eating apples does bother me.

[B]

What did you say last night? That, like, Jacob. What was it Bob said? I love this.

[A]

Oh, I. Oh, but it made more sense than eating apples.

[B]

No, it did. It made my tail spin. Oh, I can't wait. See this? Oh, my God, my memory's so bad. I gagged last night when you said that. He said, I just love something, and I was like, it was a food or something. It was. Was it a food? It wasn't Runyon. It was something. Oh, my God.

[A]

It was an activity problem.

[B]

And I was like,

[A]

okay.

[B]

Dear Baba Monae, I'm a queer black woman from the South. I love my family, mom, aunts, cousins, et cetera. But sometimes they're really problematic in terms of queerness, transness, queerness and transness. It's pretty constant. How do you educate people in a loving way while still keeping energy? How do you pick your battles? Sincerely, family.

[A]

Matters, you know, have you seen Notice that people mix up Family Matters and Full House theme songs?

[B]

Cause they're very similar, right? They're very similar.

[A]

Did you sing the Full House theme song without looking it up?

[B]

No. Cause I didn't watch. I watched Full House a little bit. I watched Family Matters more.

[A]

Can you do Family Matters?

[B]

Whatever happened to the Billy V?

[A]

I don't think you get the milkman.

[B]

Can't get a paperboy. The hitman. Predictability. Whatever happened to predictability?

[A]

I also was on vacation, and I was. As family, and I did a step by step thing. I was gonna do Full House and I was like, none of these people watch Full House. I'll do Step by Step. And I sang that song. I sounded very good singing the Family Medicine, so. But I'm afraid to sing for injuring myself.

[B]

I think he needs to do more of it.

[A]

I'll do it at the concert.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

I'm looking forward to it.

[B]

You go first.

[A]

I went first, I think. Okay. This. I can't really say this hits particularly close to home because even though I am a queer person, a queer black person from the south, my family is unusually liberal. Like. Like, I have. I have never. I mean, I think one time one cousin said something kind of slick to me on Facebook in a comment and then she deleted it. Like, I have also. I have one of those moms who, like, if you say anti gay stuff, she will destroy you on Facebook. I've seen my mom go after friends of mine from high school. One of my friends in high school said that gay guys should have to get changed in a different locker room at the gym. And my mom was.

[B]

I would say gay men at the gym are wild.

[A]

Oh, insane.

[B]

Like, you know, the steam. The steam room over here at the. At the Crunch and we home.

[A]

I have never been to Crunch.

[B]

I don't know it, but everyone knows.

[A]

I heard about it.

[B]

They have to shut it all the time because people are gaming. Dudes are constantly fucking in there. It's like, just go fuck somewhere.

[A]

An alarm girl. Anyway, go ahead. But I don't have this experience. Like, one time he said that the thing that my mom was like, don't you ever come to my house again. Work.

[B]

Like this when you were in high school? No, like, recently.

[A]

This was like, three, four years ago.

[B]

Work.

[A]

She was like, don't ever call me again. Don't text me again. You are not welcome to my house until you publicly apologize. You can. You are not allowed to talk about gay people like this.

[B]

Work.

[A]

And then you smile on My son's face and yada, yada, yada, don't ever talk to us again. Don't come to my house. Don't come on my block. She said, don't come on my block.

[B]

Good day, sir. Goodbye. You lose.

[A]

But I do think that the. That there is a certain amount of grace that we offer our family members. And I have been interested in trying to find a way to extend that to strangers as well. Because I have some anti vaxxers in my family and it was really upsetting to hear and I told someone that I know that my, that these people might have anti vax. They were like, fuck them. I was like, okay, it's easy to say that when it's not your family member. Like when it's, when it's not your family member, it's easy to be like, well, fuck them. But like, this is someone that I've known my whole life.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

So it's not just fudge them for me. You know what I mean? It's more of a compatible. Like I'm trying to be a little bit compassionate and understanding and how someone could arrive at this place because I'm concerned for their health. I mean, and I think that you can just gently remind them. I think that just saying, like fixing pronouns.

[B]

Yes. Is a really good way to start.

[A]

You know what I mean? I think that they will.

[B]

One thing that people get so cut upon, even when we were on Amanda Seals podcast, is the use of they and their. That's the one that really. Because to them, grammatically it doesn't make any sense and they just can't wrap their minds around it.

[A]

But Amanda ended up coming around. Yeah.

[B]

Because again, you extended grace and we talked it out with her.

[A]

Yeah. So I think that just. I don't necessarily believe in picking your battles. I think that each time you have an opportunity to speak about microaggressions or microaggressions misgendering and the improper pronouns, I think you should, you should do that. And if your family is really upset with that, I think it's maybe worth the discussion. Why does it upset you that this person wants to use these pronouns?

[B]

Right. I think agreed 100%. But also I think a big part is also introducing them to more people who are trans and who are non binary. Because a big. Kind of like with drag race. I think a big problem with drag race is the drag razor show is not racist. A lot of the fandom is racist because a lot of them watching it are young white kids and they don't have trans friends. They don't have a lot of black friends, they don't have a lot of Latinx friends or whatever. So when they see them on tv, they're like, oh, wow, I don't understand this thing. I don't face them in my everyday life. I don't have these people in my family, so I don't need to understand it. And I'm gonna gravitate to Trixie and Katya. Cause they look like me. So I think with your family, if you have. Again, if you have trans friends and non binary friends who are okay with maybe being in that space, bring them around more often so that they see that these people are just like them. Your friend Keisha, your friend Tom who's trans, or your friend Ashley who's non binary. They're literally just like you. They bleed and they feel the same way, and they like the same sweet potato pie that you like. I think the more the chance that you give them to just be around people who identify as that, it helps the conversation.

[A]

You don't think drag race is racist? Wow. You still on the payroll? I see Monae still on the payroll, honey. She's afraid to get the world of wonder mad at her.

[B]

Honey, my direct deposit just came in.

[A]

We also will be running ads for season 14 of Drag Race on this episode. Oh. Woo. What? Actually, I don't think drag race. I've said I don't think drag race. I just love when people go, I know RuPaul has you in her pocket.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

But, yeah, I think that what you're doing is really. Let me tell right now, honestly, in my honest opinion, that is the. That is probably. You are the. You are so well positioned to make a difference in these people's lives better than anyone because they know you, they love you, and they trust you. You are gonna have more impact than any actor or advocate on television can. Because they know, love and trust you. You already. I was telling one of my white drag friends who was asking me why folks were mad that she didn't say black lives matter. And then I explained this to her, and then she's like, well, I guess I'll say that makes sense. I will say it now. Is that because when black lives. Because when black lives matter to you, they matter to your fans. So when you tell one of your. When you tell your fans black lives matter, and then they get to be in the house, we have. We now have a person, we have a supporter, we have an advocate for black lives in the house of a cop who may have killed a black person, a Karen, who may have called the cops on someone for, you know, being in her building, not knowing that they live there as well.

[B]

Or cam, a can, too.

[A]

Or it can. Yeah. And you. If they matter to you, it matters to them. And then we get to make effective change that way. That's how we change the next generation.

[B]

Yeah. You know, a little more to exchange.

[A]

A little. A little slow mo.

[B]

Be the exchange you want to see in the world.

[A]

Wait, there's. There's something there. Start. Start the exchange you want to see in the world. Because you can't be there. You can't be an exchange.

[B]

Yeah. Be the exchange you want to see in the world. Yes.

[A]

No, no. But I'm trying to actually use the word exchange and not, like, just put exchange in the place of the word change.

[B]

I think exchange works.

[A]

Dear Mona, I'm so concerned about my voice right now. Dear white people, I'm so concerned about my voice right now.

[B]

Mom, is your voice. You're. Again, for the fifth time. Your vocal cords are very resilient. They are very resilient muscles.

[A]

Tell that to my. To my fucked up vocal cords.

[B]

Well, today just. You should not. After this podcast, you should probably take a little and not scream and just sit quietly, which I know it'd be hard for you to do. Jacob. I know this nigga can talk all day long. Just go and play a little video game.

[A]

I literally went three weeks without talking.

[B]

And it was.

[A]

We.

[B]

We. We know it was painful.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Oui, oui. You French now, bitch. Wee, wee.

[A]

Bitch. Oui, oui, oui. Bitch. Oui, oui, oui, oui.

[B]

There was a.

[A]

When I got. When I got back from my surgery, I had accidentally spoke, like, the day after my surgery, we just. We were just sitting on the couch, and I was on the phone. I saw something. I said, oh, boy. And then me and Jake were like,

[B]

blood comes out coming out your hair.

[A]

And then one day I came out of the bathroom and I just said I was talking about some animal. I said, was it. I think I said, you know, orcas are. It was something about orcas. I think I was sitting. I was in the bathroom, like on Reddit or on TikTok on my phone. And I came out. You don't have your microphone on, babe. And I came out of the bathroom.

[B]

I want to see it.

[A]

And I said out loud, orcas are really violent animals. But I just said it. And I was like. And Jacob was like.

[B]

And I was like, the tweel is just too beavis.

[A]

In my head, really violent animals. Go ahead, Mo.

[B]

Dear Monet and Bob, I was raised incredibly religious, but now that I'm older, I've stopped believing in most of what I was taught. Even though I'm an atheist in the back of my mind, I still carry a lot of that shame and religious trauma with me. How do I start unpacking and unlearning everything? Sincerely, Sista. I have a Doubt.

[A]

Do you know who that's from?

[B]

Is that from Sister X?

[A]

It is from Doubt. It is Meryl Streep's line at the very end of the movie. I mean, I guess. Spoiler alert. I guess it's also the name of the movie.

[B]

We don't say spoilers for movies that came out.

[A]

Just your problem at the end of. At the very end of Doubt. So Doubt is about a nun who is trying to get this preacher, Philip Seymour Hoffman, who she thinks is a child molester thrown out of the school, but they just keep moving him around. She's like, you went from like three different schools. You're a fucking child molester. I know it. And she's like, will not rest if she gets this guy. And then at some point they're like, why are you so obsessed with this? Or like something. And then at some point she basically. She basically says, I'm an atheist by saying I have doubts. And it's like. It's like. It's like the, the. The. The climax of the. Of the whole movie, the nun being like, I have doubt. I have such doubt. It's actually really, really first line. Mercer killed it and. Are you going to watch? Don't look up.

[B]

I heard. I knew I should.

[A]

I heard. The trailer looks really good.

[B]

Everyone's saying how good it is.

[A]

Emerald Streep looks gorgeous in this movie.

[B]

I haven't seen this trailer.

[A]

Mary Sheep looks beautiful.

[B]

And he showed me a scene from. From Dallas, like one of his favorite scenes ever. And because he thinks Viola Davis.

[A]

It's Viol. Snotty walking. Walking through the projects. Yeah.

[B]

He thinks she's the greatest actress ever lived.

[A]

You're not seeing Fences yet?

[B]

You. No, I haven't seen Fences.

[A]

We have to. It is. Woof. This movie's so good, man. Fences is so fucking good.

[B]

Back to Sister. I have doubt.

[A]

Yeah. Tell me you're Catholic without telling me you're Catholic. This person. Is this guilt? Is this is some Catholic guilt here?

[B]

I don't think so. This sounds like some Pentecostal shit. As to both of us are. Both grew up in the church. I grew up in the church a lot. I was in a whole church choir. I was in a church choir group which would travel around and sing. And I used to be up in church shouting and praising hands. And as Bob would say, I engaged in this, I've engaged in some of this. I engage some of this behavior, like getting fire baptized, speaking in tongues, all that. And I think a lot of that, a lot of what I love. I think to start, you have to think about why you had those feelings about church. Like, what about church made you feel good but safe? And I think a lot of it for me was the community. Was the community that it made me feel like. It made me feel like I was part of this thing. I was part of this choir that would travel and work together. I felt like I was a part of a group. I think that that's what I desired and I think figuring out what it was like, what specifically about church made you really like it outside of the habits that it taught you, I think that's a good place to start and seeing where in your life you can fill that void. That's not church.

[A]

You know, I had to.

[B]

For me, that was drag.

[A]

I had to take a step back and really ask myself why I was being religious. And I was realizing that I was being, I was a Christian out of fear. I can't speak for everyone, but for

[B]

me, I think that's for a lot of people too.

[A]

Yeah, for me, Christianity was a very fear based religion. You're gonna go to hell because you're gonna go to hell. Like God gives you free will, but just so you know, if you do the wrong thing. And also, I mean just the punishment just does not seem proportion. It's like, if you're bad for like 15 years, you will spend eternity burning in hell. This is not equal and opposite.

[B]

Or if you are good your whole life and on the day before your last birth, you say, I don't believe in God. God damn it.

[A]

And then you don't repent.

[B]

You're going to hell.

[A]

It's like God is a drama queen. Like, God's a drama queen. God, like, if you look at the stuff that God did in the Bible, God was like, and does just really extreme punishments for really small stuff. Like you're walking away from Sodom and Gomorrah and he's like, don't look like God was like. I told her, I imagine God talking to the angels, being like, oh, I showed her. It's like, what did you do? Like, I told her not to look back. I Said, walk away. Walk away and don't turn around. And she turned around and they. Oh, what did you do? Did you like give her like a little scare? He's like, no. Oh, you turn on the look back. Did you turn her blind? No. Okay. What did you do? I fucking killed her. What? Not only did I kill her, I literally turned her into a pillar of salt so that she would be looking back in the direction that I told her not to look. Literally forever. And everyone's like, this nigga is crazy. I told her not to eat the apple. So you know what I did? You put a worm in it? No, I made it. So literally every person who ate. Whoever will live forever will die because this ate an apple. This is crazy. This is. How are we being punished for some I ain't never met?

[B]

Because that's your auntie, that's why.

[A]

How. That is crazy Anyway, besides the. But that's besides the point.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

So I was looking at how a lot of my, my Christianity was fear based. And then I also started to realize that I am capable of finding a moral compass without being told what it is. I don't need to be told. Maybe at some point in my life. But now I don't need to be told not to kill because if I kill, I'll get, I will get punished in the afterlife. I don't want to kill because it would not feel good to do so. It would feel bad.

[B]

It would hurt other people and it

[A]

would hurt other people. You know what I mean? And also, baby, I'm telling right now, there's a lot of people who are church hurt. There is a community for you on the Internet. There's a community for you in person. There's. There's probably like literal support groups of people who've been church hurt who are unpacking their religious trauma.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

From the crazy things that you're told.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

That it really hurts when you're in church and you hear something that is directed at you. But like when you, when you hear anti gay stuff in church, that shit can fuck you up.

[B]

But they have all anti gay shit. No, anti pedophilia. No talking about all these, all these niggas cheating on their wives. But, but if you gay.

[A]

Stop it. What's interesting about the representation of pedophilia in the Bible is that actually everything in the Bible that's anti gay is actually anti pedophilia. But the translations. Oh yeah. Were just turned gay.

[B]

I went this, I went into this whole deep dive about it.

[A]

Really.

[B]

Like, again, so I agree with everything Bob said, but also, I think a big part of that, too, is finding, like, what about church made you feel so good to be there? Was it. Was it the. Was it the music ministry? If that's the. If that's the case, join, like, a young people's. If you're a young person. A young people's choir. Or if you're a queer person's course. Gay men's course. If it's that queer person's course.

[A]

They have those.

[B]

Queer person. Yeah. So they're like, find the things about church that made you feel good. If you liked the. If you liked Bible study, maybe just join a book club and, like, find. Fill the. Fill the void with things that are not about church that really brought you joy about church. So you can find the joy in other parts of your life that mimic that of church.

[A]

You should be the director of a drag queen chorus. That would be so cool.

[B]

A drag queen chorus?

[A]

Yeah, like. Like a chorus that's just made up of all drag queens.

[B]

That could be so fun. I have not conducted in so long, I had to go do choral, like, sheet music study. Oh, my God. That's too much work.

[A]

I can help you do the business side of. And, like, the promotional stuff, and then you. You can do the. Oh, my God. Monet's Drag Queen Corey. All that would be. Honestly, Monet, this would sell huge.

[B]

Singing, like, singing, like, jazzy versions of Easy on Me, Love Me, Love Me Down. That would be so funny.

[A]

We'll do one. We will get together one drag queen chorus. Everyone in this show has to be a drag queen.

[B]

We'll do a show to do a big chorus. Everyone does not need to know how to sing. You know what I mean? If you can hold. If you can hold, you need.

[A]

You need a couple of great soloists.

[B]

Oh, yeah, for sure. But we'll fly in Laguna Blue. Uhhuh.

[A]

We will bring in Crystal Demure.

[B]

Lmnop Elementop. She's a great singer. Kea car Kea kea.

[A]

We can bring in Jan. Jan Sport. Jan Sport, y'. All.

[B]

Jan. That her song in the Christmas show. So good, right?

[A]

I have it recorded. I listen. I just. I randomly just listen to it.

[B]

She's great.

[A]

I just. Literally just randomly.

[B]

Like, can you play a little bit of it here?

[A]

Yes. I love. Like, she's so good. She turned it and think about. Jan is. Jan is a very good singer, but it's not intimidatingly good. But it's. But it's to a point where it's like, you Think in your head. I could probably do that. And then you sing. You're like, I can't do that.

[B]

I want to say there was a compliment and they were going to try to find it.

[A]

No, but she's amazing.

[B]

I know, but you.

[A]

Oh, let Jan sing it.

[B]

That was her last one.

[A]

They want to hear Jan. Can you

[B]

play the last one?

[A]

Yeah, we want to hear Jan. That is powerful.

[B]

Oh, it's great. It is amazing.

[A]

This can move furniture with her voice. It's really good.

[B]

Okay, you know, let's. Let's do the highest vow challenge. Can you try doing it?

[A]

I'm afraid to sing. I am genuinely afraid of hurting myself.

[B]

Can we get you. Can we get you that way by talking? Let's do that.

[A]

How can we do that, Jacob? We'll put this video in. In the actual video so they can see it without this microphone. But yeah, Jan's amazing. And by the way, she never really. She released a trailer of using. Never released a video. Right.

[B]

And I mailed it. That was it.

[A]

Yeah. Everyone in the video was like, work. You did it. But they never actually showed you doing it.

[B]

I turned it anyway. I think that fucking hating white bitch.

[A]

Honestly, she's not coming to the Drag Queen chorus.

[B]

Yeah, we know. We ain't having her.

[A]

We can get. We can get what's her name from. What's that girl's name?

[B]

Ada Vox. We can get Ada Vox.

[A]

What's the girl name from the Monster Baby. She used to sing at Liquing. Oh, no. Bizarre.

[B]

Novasar. Yeah. Yeah, we can definitely do a Dragon chorus. Adriana Roy from SF From Beau.

[A]

I've not met her.

[B]

She's a great singer.

[A]

Yeah, there's some. And you have to come out and do oh, my. Y'. All. Okay. I will never release this because I have earned Monet's trust with you. We joke a lot, but we would never value each other's trust. I have a great rendition of. So years ago, I wrote a parody

[B]

of oh, no, I would redo it.

[A]

I wrote a parody of Mr. Grinch called Nasty Bitch for Monet to sing.

[B]

You're a hood rat. Nasty bitch.

[A]

And she did a whole recording, but she just never. I mean, you went never. You never did anything with it. I'm gonna go to y'.

[C]

All.

[A]

This was before she was on Drag Race.

[B]

Oh, this is like 2015.

[A]

Yeah, this is like a old ass recording you should do.

[B]

I would redo it, though, now.

[A]

Yeah, the lyrics might be problematic. Yeah, the lyrics.

[B]

Yeah, the lyrics a little problematic. I really want to change Something around. Okay, we wrote it, Bob. Together.

[C]

Bob.

[B]

We wrote that together. Just like when you. What's. What's your little purse for a song. And when the fucking writing credits came, Monet Shade was when I stayed up with your ass until like five o'

[A]

clock in the morning.

[B]

Right? Help me write that shit. Now granted, did I write the majority of it? No, but I had a few lines up in there.

[A]

Well, I'm also not credited in the writing for Soak it Up.

[B]

You weren't. Yes, you are. You fully are.

[A]

Because I actually showed up to sing it. You fully are credited in the. Take these sponges soak it up I'm gonna laugh for them haters joke it

[B]

up Take a brush to my eye and smoke it up I'll sleep when I'm dead is you wok enough? Me and my crew, we writing hits bad only no room for hits bricks. Oh my God, a couple of GS. Do it just for kicks.

[A]

I don't know. I wrote this probably just quick what come next?

[B]

You can't go through it's not done of this lit face B I'm driving

[A]

this car you in the back seat hoes I'm getting ready and I take you there cuz I'm extra petty I

[B]

know you want to taste of this brown Betty so drop the balloons, release

[A]

the Kevin fetty I win. I'm just take a sponge to your

[B]

face you're looking real sweaty. Soak what up, girl.

[A]

Soak what up.

[B]

All right, that's our advice for today.

[A]

All right, bye, guys. We're done.

[C]

Goodbye. Summer is here at Orderly Meds. We know this time is a reminder that life is full of new beginnings. Whether you're celebrating the nice weather, starting a new chapter, planning a vacation, or simply looking ahead to what's next, this season can be the perfect time to invest in yourself and your health. If you've struggled with weight loss and are curious about GLP1 medications, orderly meds can help you learn about your options. Through a simple virtual process, you can connect with licensed medical professionals who can determine whether treatment may be appropriate for you. Getting Started get started is fast, convenient, and happens online from the comfort of home. This summer, consider a new approach to feeling your best. Visit orderlymeds.com podcast to learn more. That's orderlymeds.com podcast orderlymeds.com podcast because every new season is an opportunity to take the next step forward, compounded medications are not FDA approved, eligibility required and determined by a licensed provider. Individual results may vary. See website for details.