Sibling Advicery: Feuding Friends/Unsolicited Drag Advice

Summary

Sibling Rivalry Podcast

Episode: Sibling Advicery: Feuding Friends/Unsolicited Drag Advice

Date: September 4, 2024
Hosts: Bob the Drag Queen & Monét X Change

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Episode Overview

This week, the hilariously unfiltered duo, Bob the Drag Queen and Monét X Change, take listener calls and dish Sibling Advicery. The main topics: navigating friendship feuds (especially when attraction complicates things), life as queer people in environments dominated by drinking, the lines around giving (and receiving) drag advice as a non-queen, and some nuanced talk on gender identity, pronouns, and the intersections of drag and transness.

The episode flows between classic Bob and Monét banter, personal family stories, and candid, sometimes contentious, takes on complicated queer social dilemmas—all with their trademark humor and shade.

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Key Discussion Points

1. Pre-Advice Banter: Teeth, Drag Memories, and Catching Up (01:07-13:00)

• Teeth Talk

  • Bob complains about his teeth looking "yellow" on camera, asserting, "My teeth are the color of, like, teeth. ... I don't think I want those, like, Hollywood teeth that look like pieces of paper or anything." (01:15)
  • Monét relates advice from her dentist: "Only veneers can get, like, white-white... your natural teeth—that's as light as they're gonna get." (01:36)

• Drag Fashion and St. Lucia Recap

  • Monét shares her experience wearing a custom dress in St. Lucia, her home country, and details the emotional moment performing in drag before her mother for the first time: "People were gagged. They were so enamored by this beautiful dress… and my mom saw me for my—for the first time ever in drag." (05:51)

• Hosting Styles in Drag Shows

  • Both reflect on host styles in drag shows—St. Lucian vs. American bars, with Bob sharing: "I was in a bar in Tennessee where the host hosted from backstage... in full drag." (06:59)

• Bob’s Family Reunion

  • Bob recounts a family reunion in Mississippi, from the challenges of flying into small towns ("If you live in a town with no airport, it's like imagine just never hearing an airplane" 11:26), to traditions like a constantly evolving family quilt (which has leaves added for each new member).

2. Listener Advice Segment

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a. Feuding Friends and Sleeping with the Roommate (20:54–25:53)

Caller: Lara, 21, South Carolina
Issue: Is it shady to pursue one friend romantically while those friends are fighting?

• Bob's Take (21:17):
  • Playfully calls out caller's “disguise” of friend names: “How did she think she was concealing Steven’s identity by calling him Steve?... This Will throw them off the scent.” (20:54)
  • Deems the roommates’ feud “lukewarm" and more logistical than personal.
• Monét’s Take (21:38):
  • Downplays the drama: “I think you can fuckin’... I don’t think it’s that big of a deal. I think you might care way more than they care." (22:08)
• Combined Wisdom:
  • If nobody in the triangle has past romantic history, just go for it (perhaps with discretion).
  • Notable Bob advice: “If you don’t get ding-a-ling down by Steven and let Steven get up in that good...” (22:34)
  • Both agree: If Monet/Bob slept with someone the other was fighting with, it would be a conversation but not a friendship-ender (24:48).

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b. Cultivating Sober Friendships in Queer Spaces (26:29–31:37)

Caller: Anthony, 26, Brooklyn
Issue: How can one maintain/seek out sober or sober-leaning queer friendships in a culture where alcohol is omnipresent?

• Bob:
  • Explains how he “tends to attract people who don’t drink” due to lifestyle and social overlaps, despite not always seeking out exclusively sober folks (28:15).
  • Suggests seeking out sober-specific events, e.g., "Sober Living" in NYC: “Dances and parties and cruises around, like a boozeless cruise around the city, that kind of stuff.” (29:04)
• Monét:
  • Notes that in the internet era, you can find niche sober events online, and encourages scanning for people in nightspots who aren’t drinking for potential friendships.
• Both agree: Most people at queer social events aren't "plastered"; focus on connecting where you are comfortable.

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c. Navigating a Roommate’s Questionable Past with Non-Binary Folks (32:29–37:20)

Caller: Jake
Issue: Roommate previously invalidated a non-binary ex-partner’s identity—should Jake confront or educate their friend, especially with all parties living together next year?

• Bob:

  • Encourages nuance: "Sometimes you can invalidate someone's gender identity without knowing... Sometimes people do it intentionally, sometimes ignorantly." (34:42)
  • Suggests a gentle approach: "Maybe you just drop little nuggets... I just go, well, I feel this and I notice this..." (35:49)

• Monét:

  • Endorses direct yet kind conversation, “like a refresher on how to respect pronouns, identity… so you’re starting at a base level of understanding.” (37:20)
  • Highlights the need to create a living space built on respect.

• Notable clarification (from Bob):

  • "Me and Monet are non-binary. Our pronouns are not they/them... I do not use they/them pronouns... If someone he/hims me or she/hers me... you do not have to be in the comment section fighting for my honor." (37:20–38:12)

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d. Can Non-Drag Friends Give Drag Advice? (38:51–47:14)

Caller: New York City bartender
Issue: Is it appropriate to give unsolicited drag advice to queens as a non-queen?

• Monét’s stance is firm:

  • "Keep your mouth shut and those opinions to yourself. ...I have never, ever accepted someone's opinions about my drag who does not do drag." (39:37)
  • Makes exception only in cases of clear inappropriateness (e.g., racist song choices).

• Bob:

  • More flexible, but context-driven: “I get critiques all the time… Sometimes people make good points… But as a public figure, I get critiques literally non-stop...” (43:07)
  • Draws the line at unsolicited, in-person critiques from strangers (“it is very rare”), but online criticism is inevitable.

• Both agree: Critique from trusted sources or those you ask is different from random opinions. Bar managers can intervene for egregious content but not for style.

• Memorable roleplay: Bob and Monét act out an imagined exchange between a manager and a queen about “inappropriate outfits,” playfully spinning the scenario into more and more shade.

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e. Is It Worth Debating Anti-Drag/Trans-Negative Friends? (47:47–54:56)

Caller: Anonymous
Issue: Should I try to reason with a trans non-binary friend who posts that “drag mocks trans people” and is “the trans equivalent of blackface,” or just leave them to their views?

• Bob’s Take:
  • “This sounds like a trans Republican… a Blaire White… If they truly feel like drag and blackface are the same thing… it might be time to just sever ties because this person is not living in reality. They just want to be contentious.” (50:45)
• Monét:
  • “That’s their feeling, it is valid… but in my experience, you cannot get through to these people… I rarely, rarely see these conversations change anyone’s mind.” (52:08)
• Combined wisdom: If you value the friendship and feel called to have the conversation, proceed—but don’t expect much. Sometimes letting people evolve on their own is best.

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• Monét on dental whitening:
  “Only veneers can get, like, white-white... your natural teeth—that's as light as they're gonna get.” (01:36)

• Bob on unsolicited drag critiques:
  “I get critiques literally nonstop... not just my drag, about my physical appearance out of drag, about my body, about my voice, about my sinuses... It's just part of putting yourself out in the public.” (43:07)

• Monét’s advice to non-queen critics:
  “Keep your mouth shut and those opinions to yourself... Do not. Do not.” (39:37)

• Bob on the futility of certain debates:
  “If they say to you, yes, I truly feel like drag and blackface are the same thing, it might be time to just sever ties because this person is not living in reality.” (51:53)

• Bob on pronouns:
  “Me & Monet are non-binary. Our pronouns are not they/them...I promise, you do not have to be in the comment section fighting for my honor.” (37:20)

• Classic banter:

  • Bob: “I can call myself little, but you can’t.” (12:25)
  • Monet: “You're giving Trump agents that have... always together.” (56:41)

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Timestamps to Important Segments

• 01:07 – Banter & Teeth Whitening
• 05:51 – St. Lucia Drag Performance & Family
• 12:40 – Bob's Family Reunion, Quilts, and Contraband Camp
• 20:54 – Advice: Feuding Friends & Hookups
• 26:29 – Advice: Sober Friendships
• 32:29 – Advice: Roommates & Non-Binary Respect
• 38:51 – Advice: Unsolicited Drag Critiques
• 47:47 – Advice: Debating Anti-Drag Friends
• 56:41 – Playful Trump Comparisons, Banter Outtakes

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Conclusion

As always, Bob and Monét oscillate between raucous shade, real talk, and genuine heartfelt advice. This episode is a masterclass in both the art of "reading" and the art of holding space for LGBTQ+ community learning, delivered with the Sibling Rivalry signature blend of humor and honesty.

For anything related to queer advice, friendship drama, navigating drag etiquette, or just some much-needed laughs—this episode has you covered.

Transcript

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[Bob the Drag Queen]

Close your eyes, exhale. Feel your body relax, and let go

[Monet X Change]

of whatever you're carrying today.

[Advertiser]

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[Bob the Drag Queen]

And breathe. Oh, sorry.

[Advertiser]

I almost couldn't breathe when I saw the discount they gave me on my first order. Oh, sorry. Namaste.

[Monet X Change]

Visit 1-800-contacts.com today to save on your first order.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

1-800-contacts, Honey.

[Monet X Change]

Cuz just as we about to start recording, I saw you check for your teeth. You were like, I knew you and I saw the cricket. You're like, it is what it is.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I don't know what is up with. Every time I film in this room, it looks like I have. My teeth look like I yellow. Which is like, insane. I mean, my teeth are the color of, like, teeth. So I don't. I don't, I don't. I've never had any teeth whitening. And I do. I just do the regular, regular stuff. And, yeah, I don't think I want those, like, Hollywood teeth that look like pieces of paper or anything.

[Monet X Change]

Well, I went. I asked my doctor, my dentist about it. I was like, hey, I want to get bleaching done. I want my teeth to be like, white. Like, he's like. He was like. He's like, you don't have veneers. He's like, only veneers can get, like, white. He was like, people who have regular. Who have their natural teeth, there's only a certain. Like, you cannot get this. He's like, your teeth will never be this. Never. They're like, their teeth, their natural teeth white. That's as light as they're gonna get. He's like. He's like, you're. I love, I love.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

My.

[Monet X Change]

All my dentists have been very stern. My first answer is Dr. Harrison in New York. Dr. Kristen Harrison. Beautiful lesbian, amazing lesbian. I was like, I want videos. I'm knocking out all my teeth, and I want veneers. She's like, you're not getting veneers.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I'm like, you tell me, like, a

[Advertiser]

veneer what I got.

[Monet X Change]

And this doctor is schooling me on bleaching.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

But I guess she's also like, you can't tell me what I'm about to do. She's like, I'm not giving you veneers. Maybe she's like, I'm not saying you're not getting veneers. I'm just saying I'm not about to do them so you can go find someone else to knock out your teeth and give you veneers. But I. I will not be in these veneer streets.

[Monet X Change]

Also, you did something very cute when the episode started. I don't think you checked yourself. You, like, right when decided you, you, you. You were in your Gen Z bag. You were like,

[Bob the Drag Queen]

that is not what happened. I was trying to fix this.

[Monet X Change]

The little thing that's sticking out. I know. I keep on noticing it, too. I wasn't gonna say nothing, but now since you're bringing it up, I guess I'll bring it up, too.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I don't think you think checking yourself is Gen Z.

[Monet X Change]

No. But in that way, like this way, though, that trend I've seen, to be

[Bob the Drag Queen]

clear, that is not what I did. I literally did this. I did this. I went. And then I wiped the crusties out of my eyes because I just woke up.

[Monet X Change]

There's a trend of you just waking up with a new podcast about the dragon videos. Can you put that compilation together? No.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Bob Drag Queen videos. Mind your business. How about that? Oh, my God. We got Beef Forever. Me and Bob Drag Queen video forever. Forever Beef. Honey, your trend is doing your eyebrows in the middle of the podcast.

[Monet X Change]

Well, I want to show people. Like, I went from no eyebrows to sickening in, like, 0.2 seconds. Maybe, maybe, Bob. Maybe. Just maybe. I'm advertising a BOMO beauty product that's coming out very soon.

[Caller 1]

Anyway,

[Bob the Drag Queen]

why don't we.

[Monet X Change]

By the way, before we start, like. My little Roberta, I miss you. I've been to you so long.

[Caller 2]

Hi.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Oh, hi, dear. I'm happy to see you as well. Welcome back from St. Lucia. How was your time in the Saint.

[Monet X Change]

St. Lucia was great. I feel so privileged and grateful to come from an island with such rich culture and traditions. And I wore this beautiful. So let me tell. Okay, so this outfit. This outfit right here, this picture is in the thing. I'm sending it to motherfucking Jacob motherfucking Ritz right now?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

We have a group chat now for the media. You know what? Group chat, Monae? Do you watch the podcast Monet? Do you watch the show Tamar? We have a group chat now with me, you, and Jay DeFeo and Monette and Jacob, where all the media goes.

[Monet X Change]

This dress you're watching right here. So years ago, before COVID Florence Dalit, who's a New York City designer. She's amazing. Um, I. Cause I had this idea. I was like, oh, I want to do, like, a photo shoot of, like, traditional, like, Saint Lucian, like, stuff. And then so she made this outfit for me, but I never wore it. I just. I don't know. I just never ended up doing the photo shoot. It was something that. I was just stuck in the back of the closet and when I was moving. You know me, bitch. I am a. I will throw shit out. I am not a hoarder. I am the opposite. What is the opposite of hoarder?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I don't know.

[Monet X Change]

Whatever the opposite asks me, I ask Patty. I throw everything away. So, as you and Bob knows, I was about to sell on my drag. Bob was like, monet, no. And then I didn't end up selling it. Um, and then. So this dress, when we were moving, I was like, girl, I'm not gonna wear this. I'm over it. Patti was like, no, you should keep it. And I was like, no. And I thought I threw it away. I thought I threw this fucking dress away. And then I just happened to move a bunch of my drag back into a storage unit. There's a Sim Lucian girl on Drag Race, UK Seasons. Oh, wait, is that out yet?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Yeah, they just announced the cast today.

[Monet X Change]

Oh, okay.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Work, work.

[Monet X Change]

That's fierce. And then, so as we were, like, moving on my stuff, I realized we found the thing, and Patty and I looked everywhere. Oh, my God. Release.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Release your slaves. That's how y' all do in St. Lucia.

[Monet X Change]

Oh, my God.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

That's how y' all do it in St. Lucia. That's how y' all do.

[Monet X Change]

Release your slaves. Anyway, long story short, I found this dress. I ended up wearing it. I wore it. People were gagged. They were so enamored by this beautiful dress that Florence Deli made. So shout out Florence Deli. And Ty did the hair, and it was just great. My mom saw me for my. For the first time ever in drag performing ever. A lot of old friends and stuff came onto the show and family. It was just a lovely time. I had a great time.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

What did you perform?

[Monet X Change]

I Performed. I sang some opera, and then I sang in my first number. My second number, I did love, like this.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Did you talk on the mic?

[Monet X Change]

Yeah, I talked after both numbers.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Who was the host of the show?

[Monet X Change]

I don't remember the host's name, but so St. Lucia's show is so interesting. So the host. So, you know, we have a host. They're on the mic, and they're, like, walking back and forth the whole time. Like, you know, the audience sees them after my number. I thought that would happen. So I finished. I say, guys, I'm gonna come back on my second number. But the host stayed in the wing. So the host is. And, you know, the. Right. The host is talking to me, and I'm trying to find this person. I have no idea what this person is. I just look crazy aimlessly, like, trying to find this host. Then I'm hearing this voice of God, but did not see the physical manifestation of it. It was a very funny moment.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

They do that in, like, some of the. I don't know if they do that in Tennessee, but I was in a bar in Tennessee where the host. Host from backstage. Like, the host is, by the way, in full drag, mind you. Full drag. Sitting backstage at her little station. All right, y', all. Up next, we have the beautiful, talented, all the way from season 10 of RuPaul's Drag Race and All Stars 5 and All Stars 7. Give it up for All Stars 4, Bob. Whatever, bitch. Give it up for Monet X Change and.

[Monet X Change]

Okay, wasn't she amazing? Next up, we have this fabulous entertainer. She's from season eight. She's the winner of All Stars 7, and she is from Andalusia, Tennessee, Columbus, Georgia. Give it up for Bob the Drag Queen. Does that sound nice?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

And I would just walk out and do my number because it really doesn't matter to me. Like, whenever I'm at a comedy show, they're like, what do you want to say before you come out? Cause a lot of comedians are like,

[Monet X Change]

same, same, same, same.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

A lot of comedians are like, I was on this. I'm like, just say, give it up for Bobby the Drag Queen. Like, I really don't.

[Monet X Change]

Yeah.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

The audience is never impressed by your potential.

[Monet X Change]

I agree.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Unless you say, like, Pulitzer Prize winner, they're probably not gonna gag.

[Monet X Change]

Yeah. They always ask me, like, how would you like the one who's opening for me? Or whatever, asks, how you want me to bring you up? I'm like, you should say, bring. Give it up for Monet X Change. And then. But sometimes they really. They're like, no, but like, what'd you, like, want me to say? I was like, you just say Monet X Change. So there's nothing I was like, you can say from sibling rivalry and RuPaul's Drag Race, like, okay, got it. Like they want a thing. Like they need this thing that they can say.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Well, there is such a trope in the world of stand up comedy that you just, by the way, it is always the exact same accolades to everyone. You've seen them on Comedy Central, you've seen them on Netflix. You've seen. It's like we all have the exact same credentials. So at what point is it not impressive anymore? You know what I mean?

[Monet X Change]

You've seen them at your mama house. What is that?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I have been at someone's mama's house.

[Monet X Change]

I can't see that. It's blurry. If you show me something, I can't see what that is.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

It was very impressive. Before we hop into advice, do you want to talk about the allegations of you being under the influence of marijuana during our last podcast?

[Monet X Change]

Okay, thank you, actually, for bringing it up. I would go, y', all, I was not any type of high. I did not do any type of drug. Oftentimes y' all think that I'm high, but I am really not. I'm really not.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Will you send me yourself to a drug test?

[Monet X Change]

Yes, I would, actually. Which I'll piss on this microphone if I could right now.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

You'll submit to a drug test?

[Monet X Change]

Yes, I. Yes, I was not high during that episode.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

You think our listeners don't know a high person when they see one?

[Monet X Change]

Well, they don't know a fucking shady ass cunty ass bitch when they talk when they see one with you. But yeah, here you are.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I'm just. This, this seems like a very contentious level of.

[Monet X Change]

Yeah, cuz you get. You. You bring the contention out of me.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I'm not the one who accused you being high. I'm just asking if you think our. Our listeners know a high person when they. When they see one. That's all.

[Monet X Change]

Well, I was not high. I was really just stressed out by the. Really stresses me out. And I don't think I ever want to play it again. It really brought up some feelings of a lot of stress for me. I didn't like it.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Well, you know, for whatever it's worth, I don't think I want to invite you to play it again because you stressing me out.

[Monet X Change]

Wait, how was your weekend? You had a family trip with a little.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Why my trip got to Be a little, but yours get to be big.

[Monet X Change]

Because mine was fierce. What time yours is big? I don't know.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

You said a little. You said, how was your little? You went to your little. Why was your trip big, but mine was low? Can we discuss that?

[Monet X Change]

I don't have. I said my trip was big. I just described my trip and I announced. I said all the fierce things that happened. I never gave it any type of.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

You never said that. But I just want to know why was my trip little?

[Monet X Change]

I did not give it any. I did not use any type of adjectives to describe my trip.

[Caller 2]

That's fair.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I'll give you that. But I just want to know why my trip was.

[Monet X Change]

Lowell, maybe. Maybe you can convince me otherwise.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Oh, now I got to convince you. This is crazy. So Camion, Jacob and I all went down to. We flew to Tennessee and drove down to Corinth, Mississippi, which was really lovely, actually.

[Monet X Change]

How long is the drive?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

About an hour and a half. There. There isn't a big airport in Corinth. You can't fly into Corinth. I mean, there is technically an airport in Corinth, but to be. To land there, you have to be. I don't even. I don't. I don't even know what you got to do to go to land at the current airport. I don't even know what you have to do or be. It's kind of like. Actually, I don't know if there is one. I know there. I know there was one at one point in time. It's like Columbus, Georgia. Columbus, Georgia does have an airport, But I have. I don't. I've never heard hide nor tell of anyone actually landing at an airport who wasn't in the milit. You know. Anyway, that being said, it was really interesting to live in a town with an airport and live in a town without an airport. If you live in a town with no airport, it's like imagine just never hearing an airplane. Never looking up and never seeing an airplane.

[Monet X Change]

I mean, I think. I don't know about that film for me, because, I mean, I live in Hollywood and. I mean, when I lived in East Hollywood, I didn't like, see or hear airplanes, but I. Obviously, it's la. I'm conscious.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Always hearing helicopters in la. Always constantly hearing helicopters. Constantly.

[Monet X Change]

In New York, we didn't hear helicopters or airplanes or seaplanes.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I saw planes all the time in New York. And I also live in Clayton county, which is like right where the airport is where I'm from. So I would. There was Always airplanes in Clayton. Like, always airplanes in Clayton County. Anyway, so we drove down to Memphis. It was a very beautiful little family trip, me and K. Oh, sorry.

[Monet X Change]

A very beautiful what?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Mind you, first of all, I can call myself little, but you can't. You can't. I can.

[Monet X Change]

Ooh, that was so good.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

So good.

[Monet X Change]

Just as sweet as St. Lucia.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Me and Camion have been getting along like. Like. Like thieves. We have been hanging out a lot lately. He goes with me to my friends houses, and he goes with. To work. We go to the office together. We're just buddies. We went to eat at Hart House. You know about that already.

[Caller 2]

He.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

He loves. Dave's hot. Dave's hot is his spot. And I keep being like, all right, you. You keep beating this. Dave's hot.

[Caller 3]

You ain't.

[Monet X Change]

You ain't got no job's expensive.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Dave hot is expensive. He's. He's in these ubereats streets. I'm like, he better find out. Ubereats is incredibly expensive, girl. But then we. We had the family reunion, and during the family reunion, we were able to. I bought a cowbell, which I thought was really exciting.

[Monet X Change]

Like the instrument?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Yeah, like a cowbell. To get people's attention at the family reunion. It was really fun.

[Monet X Change]

How many people are at your family reunion? I know you said before, it's a lot of people.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

This one wasn't crazy. This was maybe like 50 people. Maybe.

[Monet X Change]

This one wasn't crazy. There was like, maybe like close to 50,000. There wasn't that.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

50 is a lot for a family reunion.

[Monet X Change]

Yes, Bob, that's a lot of people. 50 people is a lot of people

[Bob the Drag Queen]

for a family reunion. I mean, the one that Jacob went to last time, there must have been 100 people there.

[Monet X Change]

Gag.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

This one was a. This one was. Was a smaller to do.

[Monet X Change]

Got it.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

You know, can you tell the story about Fred's children, or is that not podcast material? I mean, maybe picture exclusive. We talk about Fred Caldwell, who is my great, great, great grandfather. I believe I'll tell y' all about Fred Caldwell during a Patreon exclusive.

[Monet X Change]

I love that y' all all have Caldwell. I love that bitch. The Caldwell's. The Caldwell name be running deep up in there.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Well, we have Caldwell's, we have Riddles, we have Alexander's. It's called. It's actually the Caldwell Riddle family reunion.

[Monet X Change]

Got it. Oh, you should talk about the quilt.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Oh, we have a beautiful family. Family.

[Monet X Change]

I remember the quilt from. From your mom's.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Oh, you've seen it? Yeah. So we have this beautiful Family quilt, which is never, like, displayed properly. There's never this. It's never hung up. It's always somebody holding it or it's like, Drake, we need to start. I was thinking myself, we need to frame this thing, but then unframe on it.

[Monet X Change]

Oh, got it, Got it. Yeah.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Then unframing it to work on it would probably be a big deal because they're constantly working on the quilt too.

[Caller 4]

Right.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

So I'm not sure how to display this quilt, but we need to figure something out. I think if we put grommets in each corner and then put it in a glassless frame, that might help.

[Monet X Change]

But you always adding to it. So the grommets will have to move, like.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

No, the grommets are in the corner. The quilt doesn't work.

[Monet X Change]

No, I mean, but I mean, as your fan keeps on growing, the quilt is going to get bigger and bigger and bigger.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

That's.

[Caller 5]

No.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

So it's not that kind of quilt. It's not that kind of quilt. It doesn't. The quilt is set in stone, essentially.

[Monet X Change]

So how do you add to it? I'm so confused.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Because they're leaves. You put the names on leaves. So the quilt is a big tree. And then you just add names to the leaves that are. Add leaves to the tree.

[Monet X Change]

Right, right, right. So, but like, but in theory, won't the leaves at some point? Like, like in 50 years?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

In theory. But then maybe. Maybe. Then maybe you start a new quilt. Maybe. I'm not sure. You know, I haven't thought it out. In fact, let's talk about when we get back on this break. All right, so, yeah, you know, I'll call mine Hazeln and ask them about the expansion pack, the. The. The dlc, The. The downloadable content for the. For the. For the family quilt. Well, she was like, it's not a quilt, it's a blanket. That's what. That's what one of the. The. Marianne, my cousin Marianne was like, it's not a quilt. It's a blank. Which we had. We went on this thing, the contra. The. The. The current contraband camp.

[Monet X Change]

The Corinth.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

What Contraband camp. Huh? Which is like a. Basically a place for newly freed slaves who were considered contraband during the Civil War and on. So on the way to the contraband camp, my Aunt Hazel was like, let's all go to the contraband camp. So we went to the contraband camp. It was very hot. It was 90 something degrees. And you go to these, like six, seven statues and this park ranger tells you about the statues. We get to, like, the second statue. I look back, Aunt Hazel's walking back to the car. And I was like, you know what? That's fair. Aunt Hazel is the matriarch of our family. She's warm, she's headed. But she was headed back to go set up the family reunion. And then I get to the second statue.

[Monet X Change]

Oh, you're the third.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Yeah, the third statue. And my nephew Hyemion is walking back to the car because he's going to open up the trunk for Ain't Hazel. I said, okay. We get to the fourth statue. My little cousin and Jacob are walking back to the car. I was like, okay. And then before we led to the next one, my little brother Caleb. So by the end, I am the. I am the only person I came with who is walking toward this on this tour. Everyone else has gone back to the air conditioner to sit in the car. And me and my Uncle Scotty. And I've become Uncle Scotty's personal photographer, taking pictures of him next to every single statue. And Jacob, Caleb, three Camion are all sitting in the car in the air conditioning when I got back.

[Caller 5]

Yeah.

[Monet X Change]

Because I'm like, who? That little white man looked at the satchels with us?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

They all know Jacob by now. Jacob is a fixture in the family at this point. Work one little white man in the mix of all.

[Monet X Change]

They love Jacob, though. Shall we do an advisory?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Yeah. Jacob, you wanna talk about your experience? How do you feel hanging out in Mississippi?

[Caller 4]

Jacob? No, it's a good time.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

It's. It's a fun time. Yeah, it's always. It's always a key. Also, one other thing. We got to the hotel and I asked the lady, I was like, hey, what? We have two rooms.

[Advertiser]

Which.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Which, are they the same room or is one bigger than the other? She goes, no, they're the exact same room. They're literally the exact same room, except one has two beds and one has one bed. I said, we'll give the camera the one with two beds in case one of the cousins wants to come over and they can hang out and stuff and sleep there. And Jacob and I take them off one bed. We come back, check the rooms. Baby. Camion is in the presidential suite. Camion has two rooms, a hot tub, a butler, a second floor, a jacuzzi, a mini bar. No, not all that. But Camion was in the executive suite, and me and Jacob were over there huddled up.

[Monet X Change]

That's hilarious.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I was like, wow, Cam. All right, let's do these. Let's Give some advice.

[Caller 1]

Hi, Baba Monet. My name is lara. I am 21 from South Carolina, and I was hoping to get some advice on some friend drama. So I have two friends. I'm gonna call them Steve and Will, and they are roommates. They have lived together for like over a year at this point and just re signed their lease for the next year. And they're friends outside of being roommates. And I am friends with both of them. I was friends with Steve first, but I really want to fuck Will. Not going to lie. But now they're in a fight and I don't know what to do because Will has shared that he is moving out in August. And like, without really consulting Steven or oop, I mean, Steve, he found someone to live with him and like, basically already put through all the paperwork and didn't really let Steve get a say in who's going to live there. So Steve said he hates Will, blah, blah, blah, blah. I don't really care, to be honest. And I still want to fuck Will, but Steve's my closer friend, so I don't really know if he would take umbrage with me and still fucking Will, but he knows I want to fuck him. So what do y' all think? Is that shady if I don't cut off things with Will, even though Steve is very pissed at him, or does it not matter? Should I just fuck anyways? Love you.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

First of all, can I just. Can we have a conversation about how did she think she was concealing Steven's identity by calling him Steve? She's like, well, let's just call them Steve and Will. Their names are fully Steven and William. Like, is she like, this Will throw them off the scent.

[Monet X Change]

Okay, I. In. I don't think it matters. I don't think it cares. Especially, like, because I don't think straight, guys. I think you can just fuck Steven. Steven, Steve, or whoever. I think you can fucking. I don't think it's.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Don't say Steven. Money. You're gonna give it away.

[Monet X Change]

I think you can fucking. I really don't think it's that big of a deal. I think you might care way more than they care. I think that if you fuck this guy also. Why does Will need to know that you fuck Steve? And you.

[Advertiser]

You.

[Monet X Change]

You said he already know that you want to fuck Steve. So it's like you like. I mean, not unless you want to divulge that information with him or you think Steve will use that information in some retaliatory way. Like, yeah, well, that's Why I fucked Maya anyway or whatever. Like, Will is not her ex. Boy, like, are they. Is this a love triangle? Did she date one of them or she just. I think you should just friends with them.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

You just friends mention dating anyone.

[Monet X Change]

Yeah. You're just friends with these people. Fuck him. Who cares?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I mean, Steve. So it's. It seems. It seems like the. The drama between Will and Steven seems pretty lukewarm, to be honest. Yeah, like, it doesn't seem like a ton of drama. Although it does seem a little bit shady to move without telling someone you're moving. Especially if you need someone to live in that room. You know what I mean?

[Monet X Change]

Yeah,

[Bob the Drag Queen]

because. Yeah, that is actually is quite shady. That being said, girl, if you don't get dingling down by. By Stephen and let Stephen get up in that good.

[Monet X Change]

Yeah, girl. Give it.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Get that yank. Yank. That's a Jasmin master's quote. I don't see anything wrong with it. You know, it might. It might be a bonding experience for the two of them. They might be like, dang, tell me, how was it to. To. To slam Britney? I've been thinking about slamming Britney for a long time.

[Monet X Change]

Maybe all three of y' all fuck each other. Maybe. Maybe that would really make people like, feel better about everything. Like everyone just get. Just do a little menagerie.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

She doesn't seem interested in Will at all.

[Monet X Change]

Yeah, that's fair.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I want to see the one she's trying to fuck. Like, how hot is he that she is just like ready to throw it all away on this guy?

[Monet X Change]

Girl, sometimes people, straight girls will. The guys they go out to. I'm like, babe, you can do so much better than this fucking trash box. So Steven might not even be that hot.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Well, everything's not about looks. So maybe it's just. Maybe he has a really great personality. You know what I mean?

[Monet X Change]

If you just want to fuck them. I mean, I guess I have fucked people who just have a good. A good personality, actually.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Well, I think. Yeah, I think that. I think that that's. That sometimes people who are socialized as women tend to be like, you know, I can actually see a lot of value in someone outside of their physical beauty. I think people who are socialized as men don't quite have that same capacity in that same way.

[Monet X Change]

Jacob said, can you imagine a situation where you're beefing with somebody and you wouldn't want Bob or Monet to hook up with them? Okay, I don't think. Can you read it again?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

You read that so fast. Can you read it. Read it intelligibly so the audience can hear. Monet said, can you.

[Monet X Change]

Can you imagine a situation where you're beefing with somebody and you wouldn't want your co host to hook up with them? Um, yeah, if I was beefing with somebody, like, beefing hard, and Bob hooked them up. Hooked up, I wouldn't be mad at him, but it would definitely be talking point of civil rivalry. And we'll probably. We'll probably have, like, a little fun argument about it, but I wouldn't be, like, mad mad. Like, I'm trying to think of the situation, like, of that when that happened, who was it? Whoever. Mad, Like, I don't know if I was. If when Gia Gunn was reading me all over the Internet and Bob fucked her, I wouldn't be like, bob, I'm so mad at you. I would be like, bitch, you fuck Gia. You fucking. Like.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

You know what I mean? I wouldn't even be Gia Gun to meet Shimon and the Vixen all in one weekend.

[Monet X Change]

I would be concerned for you. I'm like. But yeah, I wouldn't be. I wouldn't be upset. I want to be, like, mad.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

No, I can't imagine being too angry about Monet hooking up with.

[Monet X Change]

Wait, can I say situation? And can we. Can we come and bleep out the name? I'm gonna say believe by the name.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I'm gonna say.

[Monet X Change]

I'm gonna do this too, because sometimes these be reading lips. Y' all be reading lips. Okay. Imagine when everything went down with you and. Or real.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I wouldn't care if you. If you all hooked up at the first.

[Monet X Change]

At the beginning, when even your mom was like, money, I can't believe you're friends with him.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

No, I wouldn't. I wouldn't care about. About that. That wouldn't. That wouldn't bother me at all. I mean, no, I don't think I'd care. I think I'd be like, good, you do your thing. Do your thing. 21.

[Monet X Change]

Well, I wouldn't do that. I would feel. I. I like, just for the record, I would feel. That would feel so shady to me. So I would not never do something like that, but albeit you didn't care.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

All right, let's go to our next piece of advice.

[Caller 4]

Hi, Monet. Hi, Bob. So my name is Anthony. I'm 26, and I live in Brooklyn, New York. And I was wondering if you had some advice about how to cultivate more sober, leaning friendships. I myself am not entirely sober, but am really trying to restrict alcohol and like recreational drug use just due to, like, chronic illness reasons. But it feels like every queer event and a lot of social functions just entirely revolve around consuming alcohol. Even just going over to a friend's house for dinner involves a bottle of wine, and my body can't really sustain that. And I'm wondering how to build more friendships that don't involve anybody getting drunk. I would love Bob's advice, especially since he transitioned into full sober living around the same age, I think. And you know, Monet, our sober ally, I would love your takes as well. I just feel like I'm struggling to, like, maintain my health while also maintaining friendships. Thank you.

[Monet X Change]

This is definitely a Bob question, and

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Monet is not a sober ally. Monet just knows sober people, honey. Okay. Anyways, it's not giving allyship. A lot of people from Grindr keep hitting me up in Australia. A lot of people from Australia keep hitting me up on Grindr. And I was like, you are 7, 000 miles away. What?

[Monet X Change]

So annoying.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Anyway, like, from Australia specifically, it's very strange to me, you know, So I guess if you're not sober, it is hard to make a lot of sober friends because obviously sober people gather, you know what I mean, at our little secret hideaway meetings. And if you're not at a meeting, then it's going to be hard for you to attract sober people. I will say this. I tend to just attract people who don't drink. It's kind of weird. It's kind of odd. I have several friends who just don't drink, but they're not. So Peppermint does not drink. Nick Smith does not drink. And I also have attractive friends who are sober who I didn't even know were sober when we started hanging out, like Mitch Feno. I have a couple friends who who just like, oh, we. We just happen to be friends. And you're also sober, so I just attract those people. I think that maybe in the club they'll see the other person who's not an absolute mess and be like, ooh, you are. You seem to have your shit together. And I see people who are a mess. So what's like, you know, Miley was good, but there are sober events, so there are. In New York, there's a. There's a company called. Oh, my God, what's it called? Big Big Apple Roundup. Sober Living. Sober Living. What? The Big Up Roundup is Sober Living? Different things. Sober Living is a group that does these social events that. That are. There's no alcohol involved, and they're gay, and there are four people who are in recovery, but you don't have to be in recovery to go. I've taken friends to the events and they're like dances and parties and cruises around, like a boozeless cruise around the city, that kind of stuff. And I believe it's called. I don't know if sober living still exists, if they're still out there on and popping. But I used to, I used to go to those events when I was. When I was a little sober baby in New York City.

[Monet X Change]

Yeah, for me, I just, I. I think because Bob has a lot of sober friends and we have a lot of some. Obviously our. Our friends took an overlap, but even outside of Bob, I just tend to have, like, sober friends around. Yeah. And I don't know, I think it's just my proximity to people who are sober. Like, obviously my boyfriend is sober, so a lot of his friends are sober, and a lot of people interact with the sober. But, yeah, I don't know. I think Bob gave some great ways to attract sobriety. I think he's also, like, maybe. I think in the day, in the age of the Internet and social media, like, it's kind of not easy, but it's, you know, there's more access and it's easier to find people in the community you're looking for. Like, I'm sure there are, like, gay sober event thingies on the Facebook, on the Instagram, where you can, like, find that. So, yeah, I think just a quick Google, you can find things, and I think at the top you might find the corny ones. But when you, like, really start going to those spaces, you get referrals to other sober events and other sober things. You can find people in your tribe. But I think going to the club and looking for people who aren't a drunk mess, maybe a good way. Like, right, you just, you, you go to. You from Brooklyn.

[Caller 5]

You go to.

[Monet X Change]

You go to Metropolitan on a Friday or Saturday and look and you know, go chill, Kiki. Look for the people who aren't belligerent and crazy and maybe like, bounce into them and be like, hey, what's your name? And spark conversation that way. I think finding people who aren't crazy and drunk is probably a safe way to find people who are into the things that you want to get into.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Also, to be fair, most of the people at social events are not plastered. Some of them are getting a little tipsy, but most of them are not, like, destroyed. You know what I mean? That's in my experience. Anyway, that's just from my years and years of working in the bar.

[Monet X Change]

I was gonna say look for the people at the club who don't, who aren't, who don't have drinks in their hand or like cocktails. But nowadays people are doing G. They're doing G, but they're but. And you can't drink alcohol in G, so that's misleading too. You're like, oh, this person is drinking water all night, bitch. Fully on ghb.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Well, they said they're not completely sober, so I don't know what they'd be up in here doing.

[Monet X Change]

Probably when people say that, they often mean a little weed or some. Or some shrooms. Oftentimes when people say I'm not completely sober, they smoke weed.

[Advertiser]

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[Monet X Change]

All right, let's go on to the next question.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Our next. Our next bit of advice.

[Caller 3]

Hi, Palmer Monet. My name is Jake. Love y'. All. And I was wondering if y' all could give me some input on the current situation I'm in. So it's a little confusing, but I have a friend, he is a straight man and he happened to date someone that is really good friends with one of my current roommates who I've known since like middle school. And that person he was dating actually identifies as non binary and he is obviously straight and they were assigned female at birth. So I feel like for a lot of the relationship he sort of was not validating their identity as a non binary person. And I know that some stuff was said and like went down like during their relationship that I wasn't as close to my friend as I was then than I am now. So he never told me about that stuff when it was happening. But my roommate ended up telling me a lot about it and it just made me see him in a different light. And to make things even messier, that person that he dated is actually going to be one of my roommates next year. But currently he's probably one of my best friends that I have right now. So I was wondering what, how y' all think I should navigate that? Sincerely, messy boots.

[Monet X Change]

So are they trying to navigate living with this person who Was who wasn't

[Bob the Drag Queen]

validating their other friends gender expression or gender identity?

[Monet X Change]

I mean, so I guess maybe the question is how like do like, like what do you mean how? Like should I, should I, should I like confront them about it or tell them about their past behavior? Because you, you are living with them. So I guess the question is maybe what you're trying to have them, do you want to teach them or talk to them about living with a non binary person or interact with those kind of people? Is that the question?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I think that Jake was wondering, like, do I, yeah, maybe do I address it at all? Or what do I do scenario?

[Caller 4]

Huh.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I guess for me it's, it's a, it's a question of this, like whiz. Sometimes you can invalidate someone's gender identity without knowing that you're doing it. Sometimes people do it intentionally to be malicious. Sometimes people do it because they're just ignorant. You know what I mean? What was going on? Was, was this friend like, oop, sorry, I didn't mean she. Sorry, I meant they or they, like they is stupid. Ain't no such thing as they them. What is non binary? You know what I mean? Where is that person on their journey now? Are they, are they evolving on their journey toward understanding different gender identities? Are they evolving at all? And maybe you just drop little nuggets and you just have the conversations along the way. Maybe you, you talk about, if you see a non binary person on tv, you talk about that and you talk, you get a gauge how they feel. You talk about how you feel in that given scenario. Sometimes instead of just being like it's this, this and this, I just go, well, I feel this and I feel this and I've noticed this. And then a lot of times I notice that it will help people understand things a little bit better. In my experience.

[Monet X Change]

Yeah, I think that we are in an age of. I echo a lot of what Bob said. I think sometimes people are being dismissive of someone's identity and don't realize that they are. But I think a lot of it, a lot of the story here is like, how did a person interact? Like were they like that fucking non binary shit, that's not real. Like that's different from misgendering someone and then being correct and then like, oh, sorry, I didn't mean to do that. Like, which. But it sounds like that may not be the thing because it's something that left you bothered. Like you feel like you need to address it. So I don't. It seems like that Was not. I'm guessing that was not the scenario. It may have been something that felt more dismissive and felt rude. So I guess in. When this. As this person comes to live with you, maybe there's just a conversation. I mean, you could just be really frank and really open and be like, hey, so we're living together. I just wanted to talk about identity real quick and, like, gender. Like, maybe maybe talk about all of it. Because if this person is confused about a lot of it, maybe just need a little. And don't be coming like a teacher with a notebook and pen and paper, but, you know, maybe just need a refresher on how to respect people's pronouns, identity, all of that stuff. So that you guys are on. You're starting at a base level of understanding, and maybe that person will appreciate it. Like people. A lot of people don't still. Still is so gray on all of it and still don't understand and still trying to figure it out. So they may really appreciate you coming and being like, hey, so we're living together. I just want to just talk about it, talk about this thing, because I feel like it may come up, and I think it can help both of us live together peacefully. Something like that may be helpful.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

And while we're on the conversation about gender identity and pronouns, I would like to say something real quick. Me and Monet are non binary. Our pronouns are not they, them, I. Y' all be in the comment section fighting for your own lives, trying to make sure I'm gender correctly. I do not use they, them pronouns. I do not use those. I mean, as a group, yes, as a duo, Monet and I use they, them. They are the host of sibling rivalry. You know what I mean? But y', all, if someone's. If someone he, hims, or she hears me, I promise you, you do not have to be in the comment section fighting for your life to defend my honor. I ass. I promise you, you don't.

[Monet X Change]

Unless it's incendiary. Unless Bob and I are sitting on something in drag. Oh, God. Unless Bob and I are sitting on the. On sitting on the podcast in drag. Some are like, well, he. Those boys, like, in. In terms of being in scenario. I appreciate y' all fighting for me,

[Bob the Drag Queen]

and I don't care if people call me he him in drag. If you did, you'd have to fight Monet every single day of their life. Cause she only he hims me in drag. So y' all would literally have to beat up Monet every time we do anything together.

[Monet X Change]

Because you don't care? No, I don't know.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I'm gonna say you were just like, if it's if. If it's for me.

[Monet X Change]

For me.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Yeah. I, I, I, I. My pronouns do not change when I get dressed up because I'm not changing as a person. I'm not. I'm not a different person. I am the. I am the exact same person. I'm really just wearing my work uniform. You know what I mean?

[Monet X Change]

Yeah, you are the same.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Yeah. You can never. Let's go to the next one.

[Monet X Change]

I don't want to.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

You don't have the consistency.

[Monet X Change]

I don't want to.

[Caller 2]

Hey, Bob Monet. I'm a New York City bartender who's friends with a lot of drag queens, sees a lot of drag queens perform, and I feel like I know more about drag than the average person. Now, I also have a lot of baby queens coming to the bars trying to get work. I'm wondering what your opinion is. I'm giving them feedback as somebody who does not do drag. For example, this new queen came in. She's wearing an open toed shoe, no nail polish, just rough feet. Is it my place to say, hey, maybe you want to put on a nail polish or something? Or should I leave that work to other queens? As a drag queen, have you ever accepted feedback from somebody who is not a drag queen? And if so, what is your opinion on that?

[Monet X Change]

No, no, no. Fred. Fred. I forget the name. They said, baby, when I tell you, keep your mouth shut and those opinions to yourself. I don't know. There's no other way to say it. Do not open your lips and flap your gums to critique these queens or give them your opinions about how they should address, how they should dress, what they should do, their nail polish, how they should do their wigs, what number that they should do. Do not. Do not. The only way is if you're a bar manager and this queen is doing she's a white queen doing Nicki Minaj's boss ass bitch with the N word running through it 19 times. And that's inappropriate, then you can have an opinion because it's your bar and you're the manager. Like that. But about their own fashion choices and their drag and their hair and their nails, whatever. Do not ever. No, I have never, ever accepted someone's opinions about my drag who does not do drag. Cause you don't do drag. I don't care how many drag shows you've been to. I don't care how many queens you know. If I didn't ask you for that opinion. I'm not. I don't care. I don't want to hear what you have to say because you don't do drag and you don't know.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Well, I'm not quite. I have accepted a lot of opinions of people who don't do drag. I accept opinions of, like, Diego Montoya. I've accepted opinions of like, Kennedy Rob, my assistants who know a lot about drag. You've accepted opinions of people who don't do drag. That's not the point.

[Monet X Change]

But I've asked for them, right? Or like. Or like, or like, or like, they're friends. But, like, this person is saying, like, boo, boo, boo, boo, boo, boo, Butt pants came in the bar one night and she didn't have nail polish on the toe. But, like, girl, you need to put some. Those, like, cunty fags that come to the bar were like, ew, bitch, that wig you need to tease and hire mama another pussycat wig. No, I don't need your opinion. I don't care for it. But you're, You're, You're. You're talking about close friends and people, designers that you work with. Like, that's, that's different than someone walking off the street and being like you

[Bob the Drag Queen]

said, I've never, ever, ever taken advice from anyone.

[Monet X Change]

I think we know what that means. Like, yeah, I didn't.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

That's why. That's why I asked to clarify it. That's why I was asking to clarify. But now I know what it means now that you clarified that. But, yeah, you know, I certainly would not give any advice to a stranger or a baby queen. She'll figure it out. She will figure it out. But also, the truth is, if you read her for her toes, she might fix it next time. You know, sometimes getting red will help you fix something. She might not like it, she might not appreciate it, and she might not be friends with you afterwards. Not that you need that, but next time, her toes might look nice, you

[Monet X Change]

know what I mean?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

So I think it could go either ways. I have been read by strangers or fellow co workers in the bar before about something I did as a baby queen. And then I really took it on the chin. I did not appreciate it, but I fixed whatever the thing was, but it was not received well, you know what I mean? And also, just give baby queen some grace. Drag is really complicated, you know what I mean? Drag is so personalized. Drag is such an individual experience that you just don't know what. You don't know which direction you're gonna go. You have no clue. So just, like, get a baby queen a little bit of wiggle room, in my opinion.

[Monet X Change]

So are you open to. So you're open to critiques from people about your drag? Openly? Anyone?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Is that what you gather from what I said?

[Monet X Change]

No, I'm saying. So I'm saying. I'm asking. I just want clarification. Are you open from. Are you open for someone walking up to on the street and giving you a critique about your drag?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Well, as I will say this, I have. I get critiques from people all the time. Every day, every video, every picture, every single. Everything. It happens all the time, whether or not I'm open. Sometimes people make good points whether or not I'm open to my asking for it. But as a public figure, I get critiques literally nonstop about my drag all the time. Not just my drag, about my physical appearance, out of drag, about my body, about my voice, about my sinuses. I get opinions about my comedy. I get opinions about my political takes. I get opinions about my glasses, my clothes. It happens all the time. It's just part of. It's part of putting yourself out in the public. In the public.

[Monet X Change]

So when you do a gig at a comedy club, like, would it be appropriate for the. For the. For the owner, for the manager to give you a critique about your drag? Like. Like, how would you receive that? If you. You walk into Monet, Xchange Drag Cabaret, and the thing, and Andy comes and gives you, like, mom, I think you should not wear that dress.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Well, what's the dress. What happened with the dress? Is the dress too small? Like, I need so much nuance. I think that. I think.

[Monet X Change]

I think that it's a slutty dress, and I don't like it. And as an established queen, I think that you should know better.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I just be like, okay, girl, and then I'll go about my business.

[Monet X Change]

Is it okay for. Would it be okay for him to do that?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I mean, it's well within his right to do. It's a little weird. I think that he knows it's weird. It's a weird thing to say, and do you know what I mean? But if he's like, there's a giant stain, I wouldn't wear that dress. Why? That was a huge stain on the back of it. It's, like, massive. And I'd be like, oh, I did not know there was a stain back there. Thank you. I literally did not know there was a big stain on the back of this dress. Thank you so much for letting Me know, I would have kept wearing it, maybe, versus being like, I think this dress is slutty. I'd be like, oh, I don't have any. I don't personally have any qualms with that. So I'm gonna keep wearing the dress.

[Monet X Change]

Okay, well, for me, do not come up to me in any place y' all see me and critique me about my drag and tell me I should have on red toenail polish or something different. I'm not open to that feedback from you.

[Advertiser]

You.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

But you also can't tell me they can't, like, comment online. Like, I don't. You can tell online.

[Monet X Change]

I don't. I said. I said do not see. When you see me in person somewhere, do not come up and. And give me a thing.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I mean, typically speaking, no one comes up to me in person. But I'm saying, like, when you put yourself in the public for. In the public image, you are going to get critiques from people who have no expertise.

[Monet X Change]

Oh, yeah, we get critiques online all the time, for sure. I'm. I'm talking about in person. Like, do not see me at a club, at a gig and come up and give me a critique. I'm not interested.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Is that something that happens to you often?

[Monet X Change]

No, but we're talking about in this situation. We're living in the realm of Jake coming up to Queen.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I'm just asking, does it happen off like that Almost never happens to me. It is very rare.

[Monet X Change]

It doesn't, but I just want to establish this boundary on this episode of this podcast where we're talking about Jake critiquing people and saying, like, that happens on the spine. For me, it is not. It's not okay. And I am not going to be receptive of that. It's not going to be a good time for everyone involved.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

What are you going to do?

[Monet X Change]

It's not going to be a good time. I mean, I can't say what I'm going to do until I'm in the.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

You said for everyone involved, like, what

[Monet X Change]

are you going to do? Because I'm probably going to react in a way that's going to be rude and mean, and then you're going to be defensive and it's going to be an argument back and forth for no reason. Let's do it for you.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Okay. You shouldn't wear this. You're at Bob's Bob Drag Queen's Drag Cabaret, Monet. This dress is very inappropriate. It is way too short. Way too short.

[Monet X Change]

Why wear to show, girl. Bitch, I wear Leotards to show. This is fine. I wear stuff like this all the time.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I wouldn't do that either. That's not. That's not.

[Monet X Change]

But I've seen you wear leotard sisters to a similar venue or similar shows. So what's the difference?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I don't do drag. Remember? Remember in the scenario, I don't do drag. I'm the manager.

[Monet X Change]

I know Bob the drag queen.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

The whole scenario is I'm not a drag queen. Isn't that the whole scenario? I'm not a drag queen.

[Monet X Change]

Okay, well, I've seen. Well, I've seen the owner, Bob the drag queen, wear a similar outfit doing the same show. So what's the difference between me and him?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

She shouldn't do it either. I wish she would stop.

[Monet X Change]

Well, you know what? When she stops, I'll stop. How about that?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Is that a promise?

[Monet X Change]

Yeah, when she stops, I'll stop. Yes.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Cause I haven't seen Bob where Aaliyah's hurt or a short dress in a really long time.

[Monet X Change]

I mean, but he's worn it. So when she stops. When we get confirmation that she stopped two months ago.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Oh, that's interesting.

[Monet X Change]

Yeah. When she stops, I'll stop.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Oh, all right, I'll keep you updated.

[Monet X Change]

Thank you so much. Send me an email. Cause I don't want you. You can't get my motherfucking phone number.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Bitch, I already have your number. I have your Social Security. I paid you. I have your Social Security number.

[Monet X Change]

I can't hear my social. The phone number is my assistant. I would never give you my fucking phone number.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Have your text ein.

[Monet X Change]

Get the motherfucking lenses and your glasses.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

This before you cut a. I have your legal name. I have your tax ein. I have your home address. I have your Social Security number. Baby, if I wanted to steal your whole identity, I could. So watch what you said. Mute your little short ass skirt.

[Caller 4]

You.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

You first of all, go back, change your clothes. Also, I've noticed you're not wearing nail polish on your big busted ass feet.

[Monet X Change]

Watching me do is put a muzzle on your big busted ass mouth. And me and Patty about to square up on that ass Ty going to jump into. So now what you got three about to take. You get. Get your little bounces ready. Cause we to take this motherfucking place under.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Savannah, slow down.

[Monet X Change]

What is Savannah? Is that from William to exhale?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

No, it's Omarosa. Savannah, slow down.

[Monet X Change]

Oh, God.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Answer all your questions. She actually goes, I'm going to ask all your questions.

[Monet X Change]

Because she was so.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I think she was a Little shook. She goes, I'm going to answer all your questions.

[Monet X Change]

Savannah James. Who's Savannah?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Some interviewer was interviewing her. She goes, so you think he's a liar? And she goes, yes, I do think he's a liar. She goes, then why did you work for him? And she goes, savannah, slow down.

[Monet X Change]

Show Morosa is so good.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Savannah, slow down. I'm gonna answer so good. Well, I don't know. Did you watch House of Villains?

[Monet X Change]

Yeah, she was good. She was good until she faked that. No, she was gonna. So she faked that injury until she wasn't.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Yeah, she started being kind of like. She started playing real. A real lame game toward the end.

[Monet X Change]

Yeah, but at the beginning, she was great. At the beginning, the first three episodes, Omarosa was fucking, she was cracking my shit up.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I agree. But once she knew she wasn't gonna win, she started just doing some weird stuff. I'm calling the lawyers. And I was like, girl, play the game, girl.

[Monet X Change]

Even the thing of when the chair was supposed to flip back, and she was like, what? She said, she was like, I'm having chest pains. I can't breathe. I can't. Whatever she said, I can't. I cannot be flipped in this chair.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I cannot. Yeah. To me, that wasn't fierce. To me, it wasn't fierce. You know, I think Tiffany Pollard did a good job on that show.

[Monet X Change]

Yeah.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

But for me, I just don't think that. I don't know. I wasn't impressed with how she. With how she did. How she exited the show, to be honest.

[Monet X Change]

Yeah, I agree.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I would have time for maybe one

[Monet X Change]

or two more, but we'll do two. We're gonna do two. We'll see. We shall.

[Caller 5]

Hey, Bob and Monet, I would love your advice on how to have a conversation with my trans non binary friend. They recently posted on Facebook that as a trans person, they hate drag to the core and think it's weird that straight people love it so much. They believe it is a fetishization and makes people suffer because of how society views trans people. I replied to the post and said I would love to have a convo offline because I value their perspective, but that although there is a lot of crossover and it is disgusting that people equate drag with perversion, trans people have always been at the forefront of liberation. They then doubled down and said, drag mocks trans people and drag is the trans equivalent of blackface. Bob and Monet, do I try to have a conversation here, or do I just let this friend be on their own journey? They are a few years younger and from a conservative town. Would love your advice on if I should try to have a friendly but honest conversation. Thank you.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

This sounds like. This sounds like a trans Republican. This sounds like one of those queer Republicans.

[Caller 5]

Yes.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

This sounds like a Blaire white. I would say you might be better off cutting ties. Just go ahead and jump in and just like, baby it all. It's been great. It's been fun. This person does not sound black. This is just an assumption. I cannot imagine a black person equating, maybe Candace Owens, equating drag to blackface. I would be very intrigued to know if. If this person genuinely feels like blackface and drag are those are true equivalents. Are they that analogous? They really feel like those things are just so parallel. And if they do, if they say to the. To you. Yes, I truly feel like drag and blackface are the same thing. It might be time to just sever ties because this person is not living in reality. They just want to be contentious. They just want to argue.

[Monet X Change]

Yeah, I mean, I've heard this argument so many, so many times. I've come across this argument so many times how like drag is this bastardization of feminism and how, you know, and all the things shrouded in that.

[Caller 4]

I.

[Monet X Change]

And I can't. If that. That person is. If that is that person's feeling, that is their feeling is completely 100% valid. It does not mean it's true or that somehow that is their experience. Like, go off queen. But yeah, this person sounds radical, very turfy. And in my experience, you cannot get through to these people. There is nothing you can say in an argument or in a conversation with these people that they see the light. I rarely, rarely, rarely see these conversations. Either it's on these YouTube talk things or on TikTok where these people had these conversations and there is something that is said that they come to light and they see the other side. Like, I can't think of one time I've seen that example. Have you. Have you seen someone who.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I've seen it before, yeah. In my TikTok debates. I've had a few people never.

[Monet X Change]

Yeah, you were a debate girly.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Never. Like a trans person who's like, I see now that I was. Blah, blah, blah. I mean, there was this one girl who is. Who was like, I was used for a. For a Republican agenda. And I didn't realize it, but I can't remember who she was. She was a very, very CIS passing trans girl. And then she was like, wow, I really got used by the. Used up. By the conservatives. It's kind of crazy. I didn't. How.

[Monet X Change]

I didn't realize she was a CIS trans girl. I mean. Sorry.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

No, she's right.

[Monet X Change]

She was a passing trans woman who. Her argument was that trans people. It wasn't about trans or drag.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

It was about trans people. She was one of those people. She was one of those girls who will throw the trans community under the bus because she's so passing. You know what I mean?

[Monet X Change]

Got it, got it, got it, got

[Bob the Drag Queen]

it, got it, got it. And then to her shock and awe, she went into some. Into some conservative spaces and realized that she was not received well. When they found out that she was trans and she was like, oh, my God. Oh, my. I could not believe this has happened. This is crazy.

[Monet X Change]

So maybe you can go into this conversation or this meeting with this person with all of the facts and all of the things, to debate them and argue with them and whittle them down into seeing the light, but, I mean, the amount of energy that will take. But maybe this is something really important to you. This is something that you feel like this is your thing to fight and how you can fight for the cause, like, go off. But I just don't see the value in always trying to change the minds of these people because oftentimes they're so tainted by whatever experience they've had that they. I don't say a lost cause. No one's a. No one is. I mean, some people are a lost cause, but. Yeah. So if you really want to. A bitch go off, and I'm like, why? Why? You know, for me, maybe the friend

[Bob the Drag Queen]

means a lot to them. You know, maybe this friend really means the world to them. I mean, we all have problematic people in our sphere who we feel particularly aligned with. You know, we all do. We all do that.

[Monet X Change]

We all do that. Okay, I think we have time for one more. Bob the Drag Queen.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Let's hear it.

[Monet X Change]

That's actually the last one I have prepared right now.

[Caller 3]

I mean, I can.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Yeah. So we're not.

[Monet X Change]

Okay, no, Jacob, I need you to play the one that you was gonna play before.

[Caller 3]

No, no.

[Monet X Change]

So the.

[Caller 5]

The issue is.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

That's one we already did before.

[Monet X Change]

I. Yeah, I was going through the

[Bob the Drag Queen]

old ones, and I started to be

[Monet X Change]

like, so now what are you gonna do, Monet?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

So now that's a question. I stopped it because it was one that we've answered. Let me hear it.

[Monet X Change]

I'll tell you if we've heard it before. I know every advice.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Let me hear It. I'll tell you before now. What's the plan, Monet? Y', all.

[Monet X Change]

This is how these two conspire against me. And I know. Jacob. Jacob, put your, put your camera on.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

This is Elaine.

[Monet X Change]

I'm not camera ready. I'm just wondering how you two very, very busy people. Yeah, we've heard this before.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

What is.

[Monet X Change]

We've heard it.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

So now what's your plan, Mo?

[Advertiser]

Any like.

[Monet X Change]

I don't remember.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

What's the plan, Mo?

[Monet X Change]

I remember really good routines.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

What's the plan, Mo?

[Monet X Change]

Okay, so what I want to know is you're gonna re.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Give the same advice again just to prove a point.

[Monet X Change]

I have. I have a. I, I.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

You're gonna re. Give advice, prove a point. This is crazy.

[Monet X Change]

You have a team that help. Bob and I both have big teams.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

So just, just to prove a point, you're gonna give organized point.

[Monet X Change]

We both.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Is that the plan, Mon?

[Monet X Change]

We both have assistance. We both have. You're giving Trump agents that have. You're giving Trump organized and always together.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Donald Trump of drag. Donald Trump of drag.

[Monet X Change]

Except the election results, but also there are things like if you want for social media delusion later, there's a Google Calendar delusion. Google Calendar.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

You have to accept the results of the election. Okay, you lost.

[Monet X Change]

I will accept the result of my loss. On your chin.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

So now I want to know what you're going to do now that you have it. Can you accept that you lost?

[Monet X Change]

We did two extra ones. We did two more advisories.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Can. Can you. So, so, so you're not going to accept the election results for my previous statement.

[Monet X Change]

We did. We did too.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Wow. You really are. You really are a. A Trumper. You're a trumpet. You're a maggot. Oh my God, please don't say that, y'.

[Caller 1]

All.

[Monet X Change]

I've never.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

You're a maggot.

[Monet X Change]

One of us voted for Trump on this. On this podcast. It wasn't me.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Yeah, sure. That's for sure. You're a maggot. Do you want to discuss your, your, your. How you align with. With, with, with former President Donald Trump? Anyway, so you're scared to talk about it. You're both from New. Are you, are you from New York or not? Okay.

[Monet X Change]

You and Raphael Warner, are you both from. From, From Georgia or not?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Absolutely.

[Monet X Change]

Uhuh. And did y'.

[Caller 5]

All.

[Monet X Change]

And didn't y' all both play sports?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Rafael from Georgia, didn't y.

[Monet X Change]

Sports at one point in your life?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I've never played sports.

[Monet X Change]

Yes, you did.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Yes, you did. Yes, you did. I haven't played a sport before. Okay, so. Okay, so that's.

[Monet X Change]

That's two. Two for two.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Like, played a game of baseball before?

[Monet X Change]

Yes, Ariel. And are y' all both black?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Yeah, of course.

[Monet X Change]

Okay, three for three. You. You are Raphael Warnock.

[Caller 3]

So.

[Advertiser]

So.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

So answer this question. Are you also. I don't think Raphael Warnock is actually from Georgia.

[Monet X Change]

I think. I don't know. No, no, no. Not Warnock.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I don't want Warnock.

[Monet X Change]

I'm talking about. Who's the one with the one. The crazy one. Christian Walker's dad.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

No, Rafael Warnock is a senator from Georgia. But I don't think he's. Warnock is from Georgia.

[Monet X Change]

Who?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Oh, he's born in Savannah.

[Monet X Change]

Warnock was from Savannah. Not Warnock I like. Right. He's a Democrat. I mean, who is the one. No, Christian Walker's dad.

[Caller 5]

Who?

[Monet X Change]

Christian Walker's father.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

His name is Herschel Walker.

[Monet X Change]

Yeah, so are you.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Your Trumpism just spilled out of you. That was.

[Caller 2]

Y', all.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

That's called a Freudian slip. I want you all to know right now. You are. Listen, y', all, y' all just the real Monet. The real. The M stands for maga. The real Monet. Exchange just popped out in Herschel Walker. You never met Herschel Walker. You never met Herschel Walker. You met the good Senator Warnock.

[Monet X Change]

I love Rafael Warlock. He's fierce.

[Advertiser]

Do you?

[Monet X Change]

Do you?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

You are interesting. You are. Honestly, you're very interesting these days.

[Monet X Change]

That I want to physically assault sometimes. I want to do.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

You and Donald Trump both pronounce words funny. No, he says huge, you say earrings. Are you both from New York City?

[Monet X Change]

I'm from Brooklyn. He's from Queens.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Do your family's own property in New York. Wow, that's three for three. That's a real three for three. That's a real three for three.

[Monet X Change]

Warlock. I met Herschel Walker. That's.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

No, no, no, no, no. Y' all loop that. Yo, y', all, I need y' all to cut that.

[Monet X Change]

Loop it.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I need this to go viral. Bdq. If you want to get back on my good side, BDQ videos, here's your moment. Otherwise, you're going to stay where you are on my bad side.

[Monet X Change]

BTDQ is not your puppet. This is your puppet. BTDQ is not your puppet. Okay.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Leave me.

[Monet X Change]

They're your puppet.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Okay? BTDQ is your puppet. All right, goodbye, everyone. I'm sorry, y'.

[Caller 1]

All.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I'm sorry. I'm gonna have to find a new co host after this, y'.

[Caller 2]

All.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

This is. This has been very, very revelatory. Very revelatory.

[Monet X Change]

Goodbye, bitch. And this fucking bitch's camera, please. Hey, it's Ryan Reynolds here from Mint Mobile. Now, I was looking for fun ways to tell you that Mint's offer of unlimited Premium Wireless for $15 a month is back. So I thought it would be fun if we made $15 bills, but it turns out that's very illegal. So there goes my big idea for the commercial. Give it a [e-mail] Switch upfront payment

[Advertiser]

of $45 for 3 months, $90 for 6 months, or $180 for 12 month plan required. $15 per month equivalent taxes and fees. Extra initial plan term only greater than 50 gigabytes. Me slow when network is busy. See terms.