Sibling Advicery: Home For The Holidays/Car Tunes

Summary

Sibling Rivalry: Sibling Advicery - Home For The Holidays/Car Tunes

Release Date: December 6, 2023
Hosts: Monét X Change & Bob The Drag Queen
Featured guest/producer voices: Jacob

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Episode Overview

This episode of Sibling Rivalry is a true showcase of Bob and Monét’s freewheeling chemistry, combining comedic banter with genuine advice. The duo starts with a playful deep-dive into their music streaming Wrapped and Replay stats, then fields listener questions on navigating family during the holidays, dealing with a parent’s addiction, defending car music choices, exploring sexuality, cohabiting couple drama, and more. The episode is lighthearted at its core but offers thoughtful, authentic perspectives—always punctuated with the hosts’ trademark wit and laughter.

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1. Music Obsessions: Wrapped & Replay Confessions

(02:28 – 13:30)

Key Discussion Points

• Streaming Stats Showdown: Bob and Monét share their top Spotify Wrapped/Apple Replay artists, surprising each other and revealing their musical guilty pleasures.
• Self-Love in Music: Bob humorously admits his own music is his second and third most-played, channeling RuPaul:

  “I love myself.” (06:13, Bob)
  “Well, RuPaul did say, if you can't listen to yourself, how the hell you listen to somebody else?” (06:14, Monét)

• Genres and Surprises: Bob’s top genre is Broadway, despite none of his top 5 being Broadway acts, while Monét shines with SZA, Beyoncé, Victoria Monét, and more.
• Shout-Outs to Indie, Queer, and New York Artists:
  • Bob: Camera Time, Bo Burnham, Connie Diamond, Ocean Kelly
  • Monét: SZA, Beyoncé, Victoria Monét, Ray, Jessie Ware, and Ice Spice’s "Boy’s a Liar" as her top song.
• Reflecting on Pop Taste Shifts:

  “I love pop music. Like, I'm a pop music dictionary… maybe after somewhere time around, like 2019, my. I kind of fell off of the pop girlies, to be honest.” (12:48, Bob)

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2. Advice Segment: Sibling Advicery

(13:30 – 68:52)

The hosts transition to their “Advicery” segment, providing humorous yet heartfelt advice to audience-submitted dilemmas.

Listener Question 1: Going Home for the Holidays & Family Anxiety

(14:10 – 23:00)
Key Points:

• Caller (“Brian”) voices anxiety about returning home to family, despite good relationships when afar.
• Bob and Monét explore possible roots: hidden secrets, boundaries, family therapy, and generational independence struggles.
• Notable Quotes:

  “Maybe there's something you're keeping from your family or something your family doesn't know… is there a skeleton in your closet?” (18:13, Bob) "If you're still dependent on your family, that may be a little hard to set those boundaries..." (21:54, Monét)

• Suggest family or group therapy as a way to create space for honest conversations.

Listener Question 2: Supporting a Parent with Addiction

(23:02 – 29:01)

• Caller (“Logan”) asks how to support his father, who is struggling with addiction and spiral post-coming-out.
• Both hosts express empathy but emphasize you can't force sobriety—one must choose it for themself.
• Bob shares his own experience with a non-linear parental recovery.
• Notable Quote:

  “There’s nothing you can do. You can’t make someone get sober. You have to want to get better for yourself.” (25:15, Bob)

• Discusses “rock bottom” being different for everyone, and why boundaries are essential for self-protection.

Listener Question 3: Car Tunes & Musical Hospitality

(29:01 – 47:00)

• Caller laments friends complaining about his R&B-heavy, eclectic car playlists.
• Monét: “If you’re in my car, you are subject to what I want to listen to… take an Uber, walk.” (30:31)
• Bob advocates rotating song choices as a group for better road trip vibes— “If people don't feel comfortable being around you, they're not going to want to be around you.” (32:31)
• Spirited debate about car music etiquette, house party YouTube selection rituals, and accommodating friends’ tastes.

Listener Question 4: Exploring Sexuality & Bisexual Uncertainty

(45:54 – 53:57)

• A 24-year-old from Mississippi wonders if it's disingenuous to date women while unsure of her sexuality.
• Monét supports exploration without guilt:

  “Allow yourself the space and the time to just let it develop… when it’s right, it’s right and you’ll know.” (48:02)

• Bob references TikTok’s Jacob Hoff on spectrum of attraction, bisexuality’s non-50/50 nature, and real-world challenges of queer dating in the South.
• Advice: Don’t lock yourself into labels; emotional availability can be as defining as sexual preference.

Rapid Banter: Regional Realness, Sapphic Struggles, and Mississippi Real Talk

(53:48 – 54:55)

• Warnings about dating married, closeted women in Mississippi (“they will ruin your life!”).
• Bob and Monét riff on Southern queer scenes, honesty about past experiences, and the lack of gay bars in Mississippi.

Listener Question 5: Relationship Stress Over Small Stuff (Wi-Fi Wars)

(56:09 – 68:52)

• Caller (“Kelly”) deals with sniping over Wi-Fi issues—how to avoid getting mad at each other over external problems?
• Bob and Jacob talk about splitting household duties based on strengths (“If the router’s down, Jacob is on it. I can’t and I won’t.” 57:06, Bob).
• Tag-teaming crisis response (ceiling leaks, moving, bathroom floods) and comedic escalation scenarios.
• Monét’s approach: “I just do it myself. If I really need Andy’s help, I’ll ask.”
• Classic “one-trip grocery challenge” vs. multiple-trips philosophy.
• Memorable banter about being “kept” partners, who does the heavy lifting, and sharing household labor with love and humor.

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3. Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• “If you can’t listen to yourself, how the hell you gonna listen to somebody else?” (06:14, Monét, channeling RuPaul)
• “Some people just haven’t hit rock bottom. And for some people, rock bottom is the grave.” (25:15, Bob)
• “If you’re in my car, you are subject to what I want to listen to… take an Uber, walk!” (30:31, Monét)
• “Your queerness or your bisexuality does not have to be 50/50.” (51:16, Bob)
• “Baby, trying to date… in Mississippi, you’re probably gonna get a lot of closeted wives trying to turn you out.” (52:01, Bob)
• “Andy is living the life. I need to get on this Andy shit.” (63:34, Bob)
• “I will kill myself to make it one trip… but we got it in one trip, though.” (68:17, Bob, on groceries)
• “Jacob will take 20 trips with a smile on his face… one Cheerio at a time.” (67:38, Bob)

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4. Timestamps by Topic

| Topic/Segment | Timestamp | |---------------------------------------------------------|----------------------| | Wrapped/Replay, music faves, genre talk | 02:28 – 13:30 | | Listener Q1: Holiday family anxiety | 14:10 – 23:00 | | Listener Q2: Parent with addiction | 23:02 – 29:01 | | Listener Q3: Car music etiquette/road trip playlists | 29:01 – 47:00 | | Listener Q4: Bi-curious exploration, sapphics in MS | 45:54 – 53:57 | | Regional differences, house tales, tiny homes | 42:34 – 45:49 | | Listener Q5: Couples, Wi-Fi frustration, household roles| 56:09 – 68:52 |

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5. Tone & Takeaways

• Funny, candid, and insightful: The episode never drifts far from Bob and Monét’s rapid-fire shade and self-deprecating humor, but always circles back to supportive, affirming advice.
• Real talk about boundaries, family, self-discovery: The hosts balance jokes with powerful reminders to put your well-being first, set boundaries, and own your identity.
• Queer perspective with Southern flavor: From dealing with restrictive environments to gleeful music geekery, the episode blends pop culture with lived experience.

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If you missed it…

Expect plenty of laughs, a touch of wisdom, unexpected tangents, and lots of genuine “sibling” love throughout this raucous, relatable episode of Sibling Rivalry.

Transcript

[A]

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[B]

close your eyes, exhale, feel your body relax, and let go of whatever you're carrying today. Well, I'm letting go of the worry that I wouldn't get my new contacts in time for this class. I got them delivered free from 1-800-contacts. Oh, my gosh, they're so fast. And breathe. Oh, sorry. I almost couldn't breathe when I saw the discount they gave me on my first order. Oh, sorry.

[C]

Namaste.

[D]

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[B]

1-800-contacts. Hey, guys, again, Papa Drag Queen. I'm going to be in Atlanta at the Atlanta Symphony on December 30, the eve of New Year's Eve. Please spend your time with me. You can go to seethedragqueen.com to hear some hilarious jokes and maybe I'll wear, like, a festive Christmas outfit.

[D]

And, guys, you can catch me in Orlando and Tampa. I'm going to be at the Orlando improv on December 6th and the Tampa improv on December 7th. So if you in Florada, come see your girl Monette Chains, because I'm retiring these jokes, y', all this year. This is the last time you can hear these motherfucking jokes. So come see me do these jokes in Orlando and Tampa. And y', all. Sibling Rivalry Live is coming to San Francisco at the Castro Theater on January 5th. Now, I know we have had. We swear. We swear. This is the final day. We will be in San Francisco on January 5 for sibling rivalry Live. So snatch up these last tickets and sell us the out. You know love is my weakness. Don't need drugs for some freak. I'm just high all the time. I'm out on my mind.

[B]

Wait. Drugs. Drugs are. I don't need drugs for freak. Wait, I don't. I don't need drugs for freak.

[D]

I don't need drugs for us for some freak shit. I'm just high all the time.

[B]

So, like, she's, like, high on life. Like, life's got her high. Yeah, this is Scissors.

[D]

This is Rena. Rena.

[E]

Rena. Rena. Rena.

[D]

Renaissance.

[B]

From Renaissance. Which song is it?

[D]

I'm that girl.

[E]

Really?

[B]

Oh, work. You know, I listen to Renaissance all the way through. Then I just kind of pick the three songs I listen to over and over again.

[D]

Can we. I know this advice. Can we just do a spot of our rapt and replay?

[B]

Yeah, for sure. I'm happy to do. So do you know your top artist?

[D]

Who's your top artist?

[B]

My top artists.

[D]

Let me guess. Knowing you, probably one of your little queer friends.

[B]

Okay, that's not a guess. That's like me saying it's probably some lady for you. That's not. That's not.

[D]

That's not saying. I could say you.

[B]

You like.

[D]

You like other cool too.

[B]

You just guessed a genre.

[D]

I know. I'm not done. I was processing what my. My thing.

[B]

He was like some queer musician.

[D]

You like you. You jump. I was not finished.

[B]

Also, I posted mine already where probably cheated and saw it.

[D]

Trust me, I don't follow you. So I did not see that. I would say it's Camera time.

[B]

You. You saw this already?

[D]

No, I did not wear.

[B]

What did you post it on Instagram

[D]

where you talk about camera time all the time?

[B]

Were you stalking me? Camera time is my number one artist of the year.

[D]

I knew it.

[B]

My number two artist of the year is Bob the Drag Queen. She's amazing.

[D]

Wow. You're so. She conceded. She got a reason.

[B]

My number three artist.

[D]

Rocking this.

[B]

You want to try to guess some of my other artists?

[D]

I was going. You took over. I was fully going to say you keep on. You keep on derailing my conversation to do your own thing.

[B]

All right, go ahead.

[D]

Jesus Christ, Monet. Do you want to try guessing my artist? I was in the process of Camera time. Bob the Drag Queen. Cardi B. Nope. Nicki Minaj.

[B]

Nope.

[D]

I don't. I. I'm good.

[B]

Camera time. Bob the Drag Queen. This one shocked me. My number three really shocked me.

[D]

Monet Exchange.

[B]

Bo Burnham. Bo Burnham is my number three most listened to artist.

[D]

Stand up on Spotify.

[B]

No. Bo Burnham. Bo Burnham is a comedian, but it's not quite stand up. Bo Burnham is a musical comedian. So I listened to Inside a lot recently. I would. I've been like re listening to Inside, his album from 2020 or 2021. And honestly, it's really good. Boberham 8. Like, if you all haven't watched Inside, you should. Camera time is my. Is my number one artist of the year. I just. I just love her. She's amazing. If you. If you guys don't know her she was on gay bars. She's the Pink Ranger on gay bars. And my number four is a rapper named Connie diamond, who I just love. She's not queer. Well, maybe she is, but she doesn't. She's not like queer. Like, I don't know if she is queer. I didn't know about it, but Connie diamond is just great. Y' all know I love girl rap. You all know I love girl and gay rap. GGT is my. Kind of. Is my. Is my music. And then my number five. You should have guessed my number five.

[D]

Ocean, Kelly Ocean. Kelly Ocean. Kelly Ocean Calandra.

[B]

So my top song of the year was Fever by Camera Time. And my number two song was Bitch Like Me, Bob the Drag Queen. My number three song was Take my Picture, Bob the Drag Queen.

[D]

My number four was you are so conceited.

[B]

My number four was if I want to Connie Diamond. And then my number five was Move Connie diamond featuring Cam the Man.

[D]

Bob, that's. That's inappropriate. You should not be your second and third most most listened to artists.

[B]

I love myself.

[D]

Well, RuPaul did say, if you can't listen to yourself, how the hell you listen to somebody else? Can I get an amen over here?

[B]

Amen. Honey,

[D]

you want to guess my top five?

[B]

I'm going to guess SZA SZA's number one.

[D]

I listened to her for 3565 minutes.

[B]

I'm going to guess Beyonce. You are right. You know me so well.

[D]

I listened to Beyonce for 2163 minutes.

[B]

You're not you.

[D]

There's no way you're getting the other. The other three. There's literally, if you got the next. The next one, I swear to God, I would have Venmo you $500 right now.

[B]

I don't need your money. You probably need.

[D]

Yes, you do. You probably need a little hoodie you've been wearing every episode. You do.

[B]

I'm gonna say Kylie Minogue.

[D]

No,

[B]

I'm gonna say her name sounds.

[D]

We have. We have the same name.

[B]

Oh, Janelle Monae.

[D]

No, well, not. No, like that. I love Janelle Monae, but damn.

[B]

Shots fired.

[D]

I love Janelle Monae.

[B]

Kevin Gates. I said Ben over. Stand up on your toes, out your bags back, baby, breathe through your nose.

[C]

You didn't.

[B]

You really didn't strike me as a Kevin Gates fan. That's really. I'm really shocked that you're a Kevin Gates fan. Monet,

[D]

You so rude. No, it was Victoria Monet.

[B]

Oh, I was trying to remember her name. I kept trying to remember that name. I was like, who's that one lady who pops off?

[D]

Yeah, Victoria Monet. And then number four was Ray. And then number five was Jesse Ware.

[B]

You know, I. I don't know.

[D]

Metro Boomin was close, though. Cause he's my six. I love Metro Boomin.

[B]

Oddly enough, I said my number one genre was Broadway, which none of my. None of those artists were Broadway.

[D]

Really?

[B]

Yeah. I said my number one genre was Broadway, which is. Which I found kind of interesting. I do listen a lot of Broadway music. I'm surprised that Jacobs. That song from what's the name. Wasn't Jacob's number one.

[E]

Oh. So here's the thing. I'm gonna be really fully honest and transparent. Mikey released a song and I was trying to be supportive, so I had my Spotify looping it so it would rack up streams for him. And that's why his song is my number one and then my number two.

[D]

Did you do that for. Did you do that for a bitch like me?

[B]

No. I have never been Jacob's number one. I've never been, but Jacob supports me in a lot of ways.

[D]

Cold ass.

[E]

I was behind the program where we got our Patreons to buy the album, so it got to number one on the iTunes rap charts that.

[C]

That week.

[D]

Oh, so you're saying Bob wasn't behind that? That was a Jacob Massive. So, Jacob, I hope when my album comes out, you have the same energy for my.

[E]

And we've discussed it and we're absolutely can do that for you.

[B]

No, tell Andy to get his ass down here and do. And do some footwork.

[D]

Honey, why don't bring Andy and stuff? Well, I gotta bring Andy's though, because

[B]

you bringing my boyfriend. Don't ever C. Drake. I'mma stand by him too.

[D]

Jacob is a producer on this and

[B]

I'mma stand by him too.

[D]

Andy's mind of his business going to AA

[B]

always let you know you don't come for one of us and I come for the other, honey.

[D]

Anyway, my top song was Boy's a Liar by Ice Spice, which. Which it had 95 plays.

[B]

Didn't strike me as a. As a song you would like.

[D]

I love Boy's a Liar. It was really trendy.

[B]

I just don't see you as like a much of a girl rap type. Like, I don't ever hear you like, listening to it or like, besides what it is.

[D]

Ice Spice,

[B]

besides the occasional Nicki verse from like the early 2000s. I don't ever hear you do any, like, girl raps. That's why I'm Shocked.

[D]

That's because Ice Spice is so New York. Like, I listen to Ice Spice and I'm like, I know this girl. Like, I know the bitch. I'll be at the deli at two o' clock in the morning acting banjy as fuck and like twerking with her panties on. Like I've seen that girl. So I get that from Ice Spice.

[B]

Then you will love Connie diamond. If you love New York, if you like what they are just straight up New York than a motherfucker. May I please introduce you to Connie Diamond. Connie diamond is just, she's a mess. And she's, she's studying her. Her aesthetic is beautiful. Her aesthetic is like gorgeous. I love the way she looks. I love the way she sounds. I love the what she puts in her. She just, she's, she's, she's great. I. Big shout out to Connie Diamond. Big, big shout out to camera time. Big shout out to Ocean Kelly and apparently big shout out to Bo Burnham.

[D]

I wanna shout out Noah Davis. Noah Davis is this R and B soul. His music is. I met him when I did. He was a writer for Huluween for some of the songs on Hulu' En, but which is on the Hulu' en dragstravaganza that we did two years ago, Ginger and I hosted. And Noah is this amazing R and B queer white singer. And he's everything, his voice.

[B]

Is he the one that goes to Bianca's house sometimes. And like I feel like I met him at Bianca's house one time and, and I think he was on Ocean Kelly's album too. I think he was on My Dolphin has a Virus.

[D]

Was he?

[B]

Yeah.

[D]

I'm almost positive his songs are very sexual. Like he has a song called I want to fuck you for Christmas.

[B]

No, I, I, I think he's on Ocean Kept my dolphin hazard. I feel like he's on one of Ocean Kelly's song. Noah. Noah what?

[D]

Davis.

[B]

Noah Davis.

[D]

He's an amazing singer. He's a brilliant writer. I love a good writer.

[B]

You know, I'm at a lot. I'm gonna lie to you. I don't think Noah Davis is on Urchin.

[D]

Kelly's SZA is just all up and through. I have, I have listened to SZA for over 10,000 minutes. I love that girl. Anyway.

[B]

That's really cool. I love that. And that's really, you know, that's really exciting. I don't think I've had. But I'm really not trying to, you know, I'm not like one of Those, like, I'm in. But I'm really shocked at how, like, independent artist my taste is. I don't know why it shocked me so much. Because I love pop music. Like, I love pop music. Anyone who knows me knows I. I love pop music. But I don't think I've had a number one who wasn't a GGT rapper in years. Like, I don't think I've had a number one artist who was not a GGT rapper in a very long time.

[D]

I remember it was like you say some of those people that, like, I, I don't. I don't watch tv. I don't have a tv. That's what you sound like.

[B]

I love pop music. Like, I'm a pop music dictionary. I love love. I love love pop music. But I. I feel like maybe after somewhere time around, like 2019, my. I kind of fell off of the pop girlies, to be honest. Like, I haven't listened to much pop since 2019. And then I just started, but. Because in 2020, it was. It was cupcake. 2021, I think it was cupcake again. Then it was Ocean Kelly. I think it was Hardrick one year. Now it's. Now it's camera. Anyway, I may gotta get back into my. Get back into my pop game.

[D]

Well, now we need to talk. We need to get back in our advisory gang. It's in an advisory. You spend the whole first 10 minutes talking about music. Now it's time to give advice, Bob.

[B]

Let's get some advice. So listen, you all, any advice that we give you is just for entertainment purposes. Monet and I are not medical professionals. Sex professionals, relationship professionals, clinical psychiatrists, therapists. I'm not a mother. I'm not a father. I am somebody's cousin. Okay, My mom just called. As soon as I said mother, my mother literally just called. That is crazy. So please, please take this advice with a grain of salt. And with that, we should do some advice. Ma.

[D]

Let's do it.

[F]

Hey, y'.

[C]

All.

[F]

I'm Brian. I'm 27 years old. I'm from California, but I live in Hong Kong now, actually just finishing up the latest episode of Advis. So I want to reach out and ask for advice about heading home for the holidays. So I live in Hong Kong. I've been away from family for years at this point. And I have a really good relationship with my parents, away from them. So I have. I message them almost daily, and I FaceTime with my mom pretty much weekly. But the second that I get home and with Them in person, I start having, like, physical symptoms of anxiety, so I'll even wake up quite nauseous and feel out of it. But again, I have a pretty good relationship with them, so there's obviously some baggage there or just anxiety being home, especially around the holidays. So do you guys have any advice on how to handle family and maybe for other people, just handling any relationship with family over the holidays and maybe some suggestions of what I should do to mitigate the anxiety, the physical anxiety symptoms. So thank you. Love you guys.

[C]

Bye.

[B]

So I missed it. They're from. They live in Hong Kong, but they're from where?

[D]

I don't know, wherever home is. I didn't catch where home was.

[B]

But they're living in Hong Kong.

[D]

They've been living in Hong Kong. Here they are, Hong Kong right now. They're going home for the holidays.

[B]

Are they American? They sound American, maybe.

[D]

Or maybe they're just, I don't know,

[B]

have an American accent, probably. I mean, people have American accents who aren't American all the time.

[E]

I don't me, they're from California.

[B]

Kelly, you know, I gotta be honest with you. I don't really have anxiety like that. I mean, I get anxious about things, but my anxiety has rarely, if ever manifested in the form of a physical symptom with the, give or take, an anxiety attack here and there. Maybe I've had like three anxiety takes my whole life.

[D]

That night of Miss Saliva.

[B]

We don't have to recount them all. I'm just. We can just acknowledge that they've happened. We don't have to go. We don't have to start naming them.

[D]

Remember the meeting earlier, y'?

[B]

All?

[D]

And then Bob says something about. Something about ice cream. And then Kennedy was like, are you counting calories today? Bob was like, are we done commenting?

[B]

Yeah, I was like, are we. I said, are we going to be talking about everyone's caloric intake or just mine? Are we done commenting on my body? Does anyone have any other comments they want to make about my body and my caloric intake? Everyone's like, no, we don't have any. And I was like, well, then I'm glad. The last comment we make about my body or my caloric intake, I said.

[D]

I was like, well, to be fair, no one commented about your body.

[B]

It's indirect. It's indirect. If you see a person eating, you like, damn, do you need to be eating. Eating that ice cream? You're not commenting on their body, but you're commenting on ice cream. So it's. It's Indirect.

[D]

Why? Need you to say what you mean and mean what you say.

[B]

No, I don't. I didn't stutter. I did. I did not miss anywhere. I said, and I would like to make sure this is our last time that anyone here is gonna make any comments about my body or my caloric intake. And everyone said, all right, there we go.

[D]

I'll make sure to not to not comment about your calories.

[B]

And you will not be coming to my body in any of those meetings either.

[D]

Honey, I don't want to come up with your body. Have I ever come about your body? I don't need to comment. I want to.

[B]

Honey, I got a man and I got a man.

[D]

I got a man right there. I got a man. I got a man.

[B]

It seems like you're uncomfortable with me setting boundaries.

[D]

It seems like you have uncomfortable around your body and your calories.

[B]

Yeah, I do have uncomfortable around my body and my calories. What of it?

[D]

Same. We all do.

[B]

Yeah. So I feel like me setting my boundaries is a healthy thing. And I don't understand what's so funny about it, personally.

[D]

Stop switching your head at me and answer the question.

[B]

I. I've never had any anxiety about something. Never that feeling like that around being around my family.

[D]

But it said, there goes the camera.

[B]

It sort of sounds like maybe you are. Maybe there's something you're keeping from your family or something your family doesn't know. Do you think that you need to come clean about something? Have you. Is there something. Is there a skeleton in your closet or is there some unspoken thing that you and your family talk about? Also, this is such a. I was

[D]

saying, that's also a blanket statement that

[B]

I give out a lot. But, like, also just like, go to therapy with your family. You can do. You can do couples therapy with your family, family therapy with your parents. You know what I mean? Couples therapy isn't just for literal romantic couples, is for any couple of people or a few people. You can get group therapy with your. With your family and make sure that. And maybe you, some sort of a therapist will create a space where you can feel comfortable talking about what's going on and why you feel that way.

[D]

Yeah, that's what my thought, too. I was like, if you have so much anxiety around it, it's probably something that you. Are you out to your family? Do you feel. Do you feel anxiety about that, that someone's gonna find you out or you. Or you want to tell them and you don't know how to say it, is that maybe Something or maybe some other deep seated thing that you're like, something has to be making you anxious. Or is your family, like, really strict and you're afraid that you won't be able to, like, live your life? I. I mean, I can. From someone who would. When I would go back home when I was in college, like this feeling of, you know, my family, like, I can't, like, go out and hang out. Like, I want to do the things that I want to do because my family would like. Because you feel like you. Because you're not. I mean, you are an adult, which is coming back home. So maybe you feel like you can't hang out and do the things or like smoke weed or whatever you want to do because your family is so strict. So maybe that's what it is. So if. If it is something like that, I think that is tough, right? Because maybe you're a cigarette smoker and you don't want to smoke around them because you don't want your family to, like, shame you for smoking cigarettes. So if it's something like that, I would say if you're not ready to have the conversation about ma, like, I know you don't like cigarettes. I'm a cigarette smoker and it's my thing. If you're not ready to have that conversation, then you got to sneak around and do it. Although I hated that feeling, feeling like I couldn't do stuff when I went back home. Did you ever have that?

[B]

No. I don't hide stuff from my family.

[D]

Like, I.

[B]

Even if they don't, if they don't approve of it, they just don't approve of it. I was having conscious with some of the dancers about that the other day, and I was like, yeah, if I do it, I probably do it in front of my parents. I mean, within moderation. Obviously, I'm not like. I mean, I have sex when I'm gonna have sex.

[D]

I don't do that in front of

[B]

anyone but the person I have sex with. Really. But, like, if I swear, my family's heard me swear. If I am gay, my family see me gay. If I'm in drag, if I do drag, my family knows that I do drag. Like, I don't hide anything. And I like the people who you don't want to associate with that choose that. But I also come from a very liberal family. My family is very, very liberal. I'm not the only gay person in my family. I don't have a strong need to hide. Even if there are things that my family doesn't approve of like my, the fact that I'm agnostic or damn near atheist really. I don't hide that from them at all. I just, they have to just understand that that's how I am.

[D]

Yeah. I think that's also something that for me, that came with age. I think the older I got, I got more comfortable with that. But it was definitely I had to get to that level. I was not always like that. Now I'm at that place. But also because also since after college I was pretty self sufficient in making. Doing everything for myself. So the more autonomy I had over my finances and everything, like the more independent I was. Sorry over everything, my life, the more I felt empowered to be like, well, this is what I do and this is who I am. So if you're still dependent on your family, that may be a little hard to make those, to set those boundaries and do that. But maybe that's why I do it

[B]

because ever since I moved out when I was 18, I've not been dependent on my mother financially. My mom did give me like 300 bucks from time when I was in New York City when I first moved there. But besides that, I think that's the only time my mother's ever given me a dollar since I was 18 years old. She gave me 300 bucks.

[D]

It's also really hard right now. A lot of millennials and Gen Z's are still at home because of the economy and it's just hard to. I understand. And now it's harder to do that in this world because of just how things are. It is hard to be independent of your family when shit is just so hard.

[B]

Is it harder now than it was like in the early 2000s?

[D]

It is, yes. I was watching on the View yesterday, they were talk it and how like statistically, like way more millennials are at home than like Gen X's were or boomers were when they graduated college or left or graduated high school. Like we're just, we're just at home way like astronomically more.

[B]

That's interesting.

[D]

Next question.

[A]

Hi, Bob, Monet and Jacob. My name is Logan, I'm a cisgendered gay man and I have a question pertaining to daddy issues. This may be geared more towards Bob than anyone, but I'll give you guys a little bit of a backstory. So my dad, he came out about 15 years ago after his second marriage and he has subsequently started using hard drugs and really has started. He's isolated himself, he's been single since and he went from having a six Figure income, his own business, and kind of threw that away to kind of almost like hit the self destruct button. My brother purchased him a little trailer in back Swamp, Mississippi, and he's been rotting there ever since. And we recently, I mean, of course we've tried everything we can over the past decade or so to try to get him into rehab and get into this thick skull, but he's super stubborn. And I really haven't had much contact with him over the past five years or so. But I recently learned that he's had at least two people die of overdoses at his house. And of course this brings up a lot of thought in my head thinking maybe there's something I can do to prevent his eventual death from drugs. So I know this question is super heavy, but what, like, what can I do to support him from the sidelines while also not having his life consume mine? Any advice would be super appreciated. I love you guys.

[E]

You know, in retrospect, I really piled the dark questions together, but it gets lighter after this one.

[B]

It's fine. I'm not, I'm not concerned. I was like, is this my brother? Jesus Christ, backwoods Mississippi.

[D]

I don't know how much help I can offer in this field because I had a toxic parent and I just chose to go. No contact. And that was my route for my own peace and my own healing. But understand that you kind of want to help but not get consumed by your father's darkness. And I don't know how you set boundaries around helping a parent in that way. I need to think about a little more. Bob, you have any thoughts?

[B]

Yeah. You know, I hate to tell you this. There's nothing you can do. You can't make someone get sober. You can't make someone go to rehab. You can't make someone want to be better. You can't go. You can't go to. You can't go to program. For someone, there is nothing you can do. It's really not up to you. Some people just haven't hit rock bottom. And for some people, rock bottom is the grave. For some people, rock bottom is losing their house. For some people, rock bottom is losing their kids. For some people, rock bottom is losing their family. For some people, rock bottom is losing their health. And whenever you think you've hit rock bottom, beware, because the floor could come out from under you again and you can just keep falling. And there's nothing that you can do to convince him to, in my opinion, to make him want to get better. Because you have to want to get better for yourself. You can't want to get better for people around you. You can't want to get better so that your kids will be proud of you. You can't want to get better so that someone will like you or so that you'll get a job. You know what I mean? You get a job because you got better. You don't get better so you can get a job, if that makes any sense at all. And you have to put your sobriety before all those other things. And it just sounds like he's just not there. I am not a part of my father's sobriety. And my father does not have linear sobriety. It is jagged, it is crazy.

[D]

You said linear.

[B]

Linear meaning like, oh, got it, got it.

[D]

I don't know if he said something else. Got it.

[B]

It's on and off. And I, you know, by the grace of God, as I say in the programs, I have not relapsed since I joined the program. But I know that it's possible. I certainly could, which is why I have to be diligent about making sure that I'm, you know, being my best self and working on myself and doing steps and whatnot. And the honesty. In my experience, the best way that people can like, want to come to the rooms is by either by attraction, by like seeing people who are sober and living their lives because of, because they're sober, or because you're just completely desperate. You're, you're, you're at your wits end and you have nowhere else to go and nowhere else to turn. And some people like being desperate. Some people want to have nothing. Some people like that feeling. It's when you feel, when you have nothing to lose, you feel like you feel. Sometimes some people feel more free because they have nothing to lose, because they have lost everything, because they have nothing to live for, you know, and some people like the feeling of having responsibility and having people look up to them and, and having people be able to rely on them and being able to

[F]

say,

[B]

you know, there was a point in my life where a lot of people, the people that I knew, just couldn't rely on me. And they knew they couldn't rely on me. They couldn't trust me, they couldn't rely on me. And if they called me, they just assumed I was drunk or on drugs because I probably was. And then I shed most of those people just by moving around and living life. And which is funny because now most of my friends can't even imagine me being irresponsible or not showing up when I say I'm going to show up or if I'm one of those folks people know if I say I'm going to be there, you probably don't have to call. You don't have to call twice. I'm going to end up being at the place at the time that we say we're going to be there. Whereas back in the day I just did. I just didn't have any kind of. There was nothing trustworthy about me.

[G]

Work.

[D]

Yeah. Yeah. That's all I have to offer that question.

[B]

So I'm sorry to, sorry to say that, but it's. There's nothing you can. It's work that your father has to do. It's not work that you're going to do. And again, this, this is obviously all for entertainment purposes. Take what I say with a grain of salt. Ready for our next one, Jacob or

[D]

Grantham Coke or that.

[H]

Hi. Hi. Bonet, Bob and monet. I'm a 29 year old gay man in Texas and I'm trying to figure out how to. Okay, so my friends already know that when they ride with me in my car. I'm not a trap music. I'm not a trap music girly. Okay? The most you might get from me is Megan thee stallion. You might hear some screwed up click, big mo bar baby types that type, you know, music, rap, whatever. But as of lately, my friends have really been like, if they ride with me because I'm an R B head and they'll be like, you like all this sappy and you know, I wound up handing over the ox because I'm like, okay, well damn, just make, just make me feel bad or whatever. And also because my playlist is always on shuffle so you hear some R and B, then it'll go from R B to your fucking Lion King soundtrack to fucking dream Girl soundtrack to fucking Luke Combs. You know, I have an array of different artists and genres I listen to. So how do I politely say, okay, well you don't have to ride with me like this is my car without being rude, sincerely, you can really get your ass out and walk.

[D]

Honestly, yes, bitch. If you're in my car, you are subject to what I want to listen to. Now if you like, I don't mind sharing that sometimes in my car I normally play music. I'm not that precious about it, right? I just put my music on. I also don't play right along with my music super loud like kind of a habit at speaking voice. So you can still have conversation music still playing in the background, but for the most part, bitch. If you're in my car listening to my music. Now, if I want to share the aux cord or if I want to let you put your Bluetooth on because I want to hear something that you want to hear, sure. But at base level, it is what I want to listen to. And if you don't listen to a bitch, take an Uber walk. But it's what I want to listen to in my car. The fuck.

[B]

So I have a very different approach to this one. I don't play music in the car. If we're talking, I do not like music in the background. If we're, if we're listening to music, we're listening to music. And if we're talking, we're talking. I do not want to hear music in the background while I'm talking. It's hard for me to focus. I think that if you put in your car, be hospitable. That's like telling someone if they come to your house, if you don't like, if you don't like, if you're not comfortable here, fuck off. Or you could be like a good host and you can make your home hospitable. I personally think that when you're in the car with people, I believe in giving everyone a rotate everyone in the car who wants to a rotation to pick the song. So you open up Apple music or Spotify or Tidal or whatever music sharing, YouTube or whatever Amazon, whatever music sharing you do. And then you just say, listen, I pick one, Jacob picks one, and then, you know, Larry can pick one, and then Zach can pick one, and then Monet can pick one, and then Annie can pick one. I think especially on long trips, if it's like a long trip, I think we should all be listening to music that everyone feels comfortable in. Because if, if you, if, if people don't feel comfortable being around you, they're not going to want to be around you. If people are just like, well, when I get in a car, he's going to be like, well, then it, you can walk, then I'm just not going to get in your car anymore. Like, if people, if people don't want to hang out with you, if you don't make people comfortable hanging around with you, they're going to stop want to hang around you. You know what I mean?

[D]

It's like they're giving him that consideration. They know he said, everyone knows I don't like trap music. And now you want to blast trap music in my. In the car.

[B]

Like no, then put, then put. Then do Dream Girls after after do Body. And the next song can be Dream Girls. And everyone gets to have fun. Everyone gets to listen to something that they want to listen to. That's. That's just. Again, that's just me and how I do the ox chord in my car. If I am with someone who does, who doesn't consider. But like you said though, if I'm in the car with someone who doesn't want to give any consideration to what people can listen to, especially on a long trip, I would just literally never ride with you again because it's, it's unenjoyable. If I don't want to listen to. To reggae for, for a three. For a two hour trip to Palm Springs and you insist on only playing reggae, then I don't want to. I don't want to do it. By the way, Monet is not. I want to be clear. Monet is not like that. I've gone on several road trips. Monet when she was driving and Monet does later when listen to music. When we meet you, me, you and Tara Hyman drove to your college. We were all passing back and forth to Oxford. There's a whole footage of we were passing Oscar back and forth.

[D]

That was a different experience. But for the most part when you are. Well, you don't you have your own car or like when Andy and I go something or Patty or whatever. Like I normally put the radio on, put my playlist on and I have it at like a low volume. Cause we normally conversate in any way. So we're not really like listening if moments where we're like the volume is all the way up and we're all listening to music, which is seldom. Sure everyone is like putting stuff. But 90% of the time we're in my car, the music is on like let's say it's like one to 30. The music is on like a. Before just like a nice little like just a little something in the background. But we're talking the whole time. I'm rarely in my car just to solely listen to music with people, I guess ever.

[B]

I guess you've changed in your. In your days because we used to listen to music.

[D]

Well, we were on like a long road trip. And I'm sure as Bob, as we have all told you, myself, Nick and Mateo this morning and Jacob, when we all hang out at Bob's house, it was typically like watching a YouTube video. So we're probably like in the car. Bob was like. Bob suggested Something. We listened to it and they were screaming, rant. And we did something else. Like, it was probably something like that. We weren't just like, in the car, like, let's listen to music for two hours. It was like a thing.

[B]

Like, we were like, made the trip more enjoyable, too. It's kind of like when everyone, when everyone used to come to my house all the time. And in New York, we would all take turns picking the YouTube video. So, like, Monet would pick a video and then. Then Monet and then I rarely got to pick. That's not true. So everyone, Everyone got to. Then Pixie. Pixie would pick a video and then Mateo would pick a video. We all would, like, rotate what we're listening to.

[D]

She doesn't have fingers.

[B]

So that we weren't all just like, you know, it wasn't just like, whatever. Bob Monet said Pixie doesn't have fingers.

[E]

You said Pixie doesn't have fingers.

[B]

Yeah, Monet's doing a thing. That's why, that's why I ignored it. Pixie does have fingers. Anyway.

[D]

But I, I check today.

[B]

But I think that the reason why people were always coming over to listen is because they, they all got to have an input on what the fun was when they were there. And it wasn't just, it's what I say or it's the fucking highway, because it's.

[D]

That's also different. We're at your house. We're at your house hanging out. Like, if we're in a car, like, we're working at industry. I'm working at Mickey's tonight and I'm like, oh, I'll pick you up on the way. Like, we're not hanging out. I'm getting you guys. We're getting us all to and from work. So just having the music on to get us from point A to point B. Like, if we're your house, that's a different thing. We're all like, choosing, hey, we're gonna be at Bob's house tonight at 9 o' clock to all hang out and commune together. Together. That's different than, I'm going to work, you want to ride? And then, oh, we are listening to trap music on volume 30 for the next 12 minutes.

[B]

Now, they didn't say what the thing was, because if everyone's going to like, to the club and everyone wants to get a hype on the way to the club and stuff. But again, I mean, Monet said what she said. And, and, and Monet also has made it very clear that I do not Ride in the car with her. I. I drive myself. I drive myself to anything. I meet Monet and I drive myself there.

[D]

That is true. Am I making that up?

[B]

No. I said, as Monet said, I don't get in the car with her.

[D]

It's not like you're being, like, you're being sarcastic. Are you being so.

[B]

No, I'm saying maybe because. Not because there was. I didn't know that Monet had such a strict. No one's allowed to play music in her car. That.

[D]

That's not no fun in my car ever. Especially if your name rhymes with ob. The ragwing.

[B]

I didn't say fun, but I didn't know that you had such a strict policy about who's allowed to play with music in your car. I wasn't aware that that was such a strong.

[D]

It's not a policy, but, like, if you are, like, bellyaching about, oh, this music sounds terrible, as soon as I'm done, I'm like, bitch, how you come to my car criticizing my shit, then bitch walk.

[B]

I mean, terrible. That's not particularly kind to be like, I hate this music. I also don't know that the questioner was like, they think my music's terrible, but I can see how if you want to go to the club and get crunk on the way to the club, you might not want to listen to Circle of Life.

[H]

That's.

[D]

That's why 4G4 performed Circle Life at West Gay somewhere in 2015. I think as soon as her song

[B]

was over, they played Lil Cam. They didn't continue. They didn't continue the Elton John discography.

[D]

Lit this just like you should right now. Lick it good. Suck this just like you. You know, Kai went to. Went on to say she interviewed. She was like, these new rap girls. Like, when I used to rap, I was rapping about, like, dignified stuff. These girls just talking about their pussy.

[B]

I was like, wait, no. Was it a bit. No, she didn't say that.

[D]

No, she was dead ass. It was a bit.

[B]

You had a song.

[D]

No, it was not a bit. I was like, you had a song called My Neck, My Back, Lick My Pussy and My Crack.

[B]

Kya.

[D]

Yes, but she's also a mess. Like, you remember that whole thing with her and T.S. madison? She's like, a little crazy.

[B]

Kya, stay fighting somebody. Kya, stay fighting somebody, honey. Who was the other one who's arguing these.

[D]

These new girls. This also wanted my pussy and this

[E]

and that and the other.

[D]

These new girls, like. And we. We didn't rap about that kind of stuff back in my day.

[B]

Which, which by the way, they did. Lil Kim said, watch how I make the sprite can disappear in my mouth.

[D]

Adina Howard, I'm gonna be a freak until the day, until the dawn.

[B]

Yeah, there was, there was a lot of girls back in the day. Trina said, dumps like a truck. Thighs like what a nail got more booty in the butt. Cisco made that song. When they see me in the thong, the thong, thong, thong. So, yeah, they were rapping like that back in the day. Freak rapping is not brand new. It is. It has been going on.

[D]

Okay, that really hurts my feelings when you do that. Can you not do that?

[B]

It hurts my feelings when you twerk. So every time you twerk, I'm gonna.

[D]

Do it every time.

[B]

Okay, what's our next question? Jacob. Oh, wait, Jacob. He said your name too, so maybe you should weigh in. He did say your name.

[E]

No, that was the last one.

[B]

Oh, wow.

[D]

Bob. That's not nice.

[E]

Bob and Monet.

[B]

Oh. So do you have anything to say about. About dads on drugs?

[H]

Woo.

[B]

Okay, what's the next question? Jake, not that man should have called my daddy a crackhead. I'm screaming.

[A]

Whoa.

[B]

It just occurred to me. Pause the music. It just occurred to me. And straight up called my daddy a crackhead. I, I'm gonna.

[E]

I, I'm. For the record, you have also called him that on this contest before as well.

[B]

Yeah, he's my father. He's my father.

[E]

He just.

[D]

I think you've expressed turmoil with your dad and he was like, bob, I think you, you, you probably know what I'm talking about.

[B]

Yeah, my daddy. But Bob would know. Bob would know if anyone know about a crackhead daddy live in a trailer. And yes, my father has lived in a trailer at one point in his life.

[D]

And you just said a trailer. Oh my God.

[B]

You got trailer.

[D]

But you just said a trailer.

[B]

No, I said trailer. How do you say a trailer?

[D]

Jade, rewind the tape. Not now. Before, when you just said. And yes, my dad did live in a trailer.

[E]

Oh, but he was doing a character with a southern accent when he said that.

[G]

No, he did it.

[D]

Cause he even hear that he did it. He even recognized he did it.

[B]

Monat, do you. Have you ever had a relative living in a trailer before?

[D]

No.

[B]

Have you ever been in a trailer?

[D]

No.

[B]

You've never been in a trailer?

[D]

No.

[B]

You've been in a mobile home park or anything?

[D]

No, I'm from New York. We don't have those in New York though.

[B]

Like have you ever been your whole life? Didn't you live in LA St. Lucia for like 80, 18 years or some shit?

[D]

Now let's say Lucia from. Is from nine months to nine years old.

[B]

Yeah. So that was a mansion.

[D]

And we don't have trailers. St. Lucia doesn't have trailers.

[B]

There's got to be a trailer in St. Lucia.

[D]

There's not a trailer in St. Lucia. We have like

[B]

deer. It ain't got the moon, the sun, no fish live there.

[D]

People will live in like in like very small houses. Probably like the size of like your living room like before. And like in 945Amsterdam. And it'll be like two people. Huh?

[B]

Drag my living room.

[D]

Or like the size of your apartment excluding the kitchen. So like right when you came to that door, when it was like your, your living room and your bedroom like that size, like a family of like four people.

[B]

Jake, have you ever been to trailer park?

[E]

Yeah.

[B]

No. You have?

[D]

Where, Where?

[E]

I feel like I have. I feel like we have cousins now.

[D]

It's a feeling. So before.

[B]

Yeah, now.

[D]

Now it's a feeling.

[B]

Well, because Jacob can't recount every trailer he's ever been in. But anyway, I've been in, I've been in a lot of trailers in my day now. And my, my aunt used to live in a very nice, very nice double wide trailer in, in Forsyth, Georgia. Baby. I remember coming home being like, mom, we should move into a trailer. Because at the time we were living in this apartment complex in, in Ellenwood, Georgia, which is the suburbs of Atlanta is Clayton County. And I was like, I was like, mom, we need to move into a trailer. That double wide. This thing was crazy.

[D]

Well, now people living in tiny homes which are just like really glamorous trailers. Well, not, not. They're not really glamorous trailers. Sometimes they're smaller than trailers. But they're these tiny homes that they make them look really chic and really they're fierce. Like, I'm like, why don't people just convert there or try to get a tiny home instead of a trailer?

[B]

Because trailers are still cheaper than tiny homes. Like a double wide trailer home yourself. A double wide trailer is like the size of a house. Like a double wide trailer is bigger than my apartment at, at Amsterdam. Really, a double wide trailer is huge. Double wise can be massive. They're basically just shipping an entire. They're basically shipping it in. I wish I had, I wish I had pictures of my aunt Tracy's house when she lived in it when she lived in the double wagon. It was. It was really nice.

[D]

Have you ever seen those things online where they literally pick up a house and move it to another place? That shit is crazy to me.

[B]

I've seen it on the road. I've seen.

[D]

Yes, I'm talking about that shit.

[B]

I've seen it with my eyes. I've seen houses driving down the street.

[D]

I've seen it one time. I've seen it one time when we. When I did the Spoleto festival and I drove from New Jersey to Charleston, South Carolina. And I. And I woke up at this one trip and I'm just looking at a full home on like a thing driving.

[B]

I was like, wide, low, crazy that

[D]

this just transported this whole home.

[B]

But you bet you hit a speed bump. You better have home insurance, because that whole motherfucker.

[D]

Well, how do they ensure they're going to. I guess they obviously map this out to make sure they have clearance everywhere they go to get this home to the final destination. But it just seems so crazy.

[G]

Yeah, it.

[B]

It is wild. And there's also lots of.

[D]

I'm.

[B]

I'm currently on cheap old houses on. My dream is to buy one of these cheap old houses and fix them up over the course of like 10 years. And I have it like a retirement home or a place I can just go vacation and stuff. And a lot of those homes are like, you can buy the house, but you have to move it. I will give you a house for like 5,000 bucks, but you have to move it somewhere else. Like, you can't have the land, you can't have the house gag.

[D]

Have you seen this new thing that all these smart home builds, but not like electronic. Like literally a machine. It can build a house in three days and have these weird lines through it. And it's literally like.

[E]

Oh, like 3D printing.

[D]

Yeah, 3D printing a house. Have you seen this?

[B]

No. Bitch.

[D]

That shit is wild. But your house has this weird texture to it on the inside too. It's kind of weird, but it builds it. 3D prints your entire house.

[B]

Let me find this little. A 3D print of a house.

[D]

Pulling it up.

[B]

How to create how concrete homes are built with a 3D printer on. Insider art.

[E]

I mean, everywhere now it's the same tech. That's the one.

[D]

Wow.

[B]

3D printed concrete house in 48 hours. I wonder how much it costs.

[D]

They're cheap.

[B]

Interesting. You know what? Maybe this is the future. Who am I to judge?

[D]

It is the future.

[E]

Google says it costs 10,000 to $400,000.

[B]

Well, that's a. That's a. That's a bit of a gap.

[E]

Well, I think it depends on the size.

[B]

I'm gonna need Google to reel it in. All right.

[D]

Yeah, but you have to have this weird texture. I'm sure that they'll figure science about to make it not have that weird.

[B]

You can probably just drywall wall over the texture. You can probably sand the texture down, but you can probably just put up drywall or sand the texture down and it'll probably go away.

[D]

But no one does it. All them I see have that. I'm like, no one thought about that yet.

[B]

Maybe it's part of the aesthetic, maybe it's part of the vibe, you know?

[D]

Yeah. Anyway, let's go on to our next one.

[G]

I'm going to keep my name out. So I don't out myself, but I'm a 24 year old cis female from Jackson, Mississippi and I want advice on how to navigate the gay dating scene if I don't know if I'm gay or not. I'm attracted to both men and women and I've known that my whole life, but I've majority been with men and I've only been with one woman and I just really didn't like having sex with her. And I know there are a lot of other factors playing into that, but in my head I'm just like, okay, that means I'm not bisexual, but I still just have this suspicion that or just this feeling that I am. And I know the only way to really figure it out is to put myself into the like gay dating world and go out with women. But I just feel like I'm lying when I go on dating apps and say that I'm bisexual because I genuinely don't know if I am. And I feel like it's just rude to go out with people and

[C]

if

[G]

you're not gay, like, I feel like that's like using them as some sort of experiment to determine my sexuality and just feels in genuine and just rude. So I just wanted to know what y' all thought about that. Like, is that an okay thing to do? Like, is it accepted in the gay community or is that like really like just wrong to do that? Thank y', all. Love y' all so much.

[D]

You know, exploring your. In exploring your sexual identity and, and your sexuality. I want you to take away this like, notion of like what's right and what's wrong. Right. I think that we have all growing up and you sound, I mean, I don't know what you sound like, but I'm assuming You're like, by our demographic listeners, maybe you're like a millennial or Gen Z, whatever you are. I think that we would be conditioned to think like what's right and what's wrong.

[B]

She's fully 70.

[D]

Say it again.

[B]

She's fully 70.

[D]

She could be. She could be. We have like taught ourselves like what's right and what's wrong. But like gender is, I mean gender, sexuality is constantly, you're constantly, your tastes, your proclivities, they're, they're always changing and evolving. And to lock yourself and think, well, if I don't like having sex with women this one time, I guess I'm not a lesbian. Or like it didn't work these three times, so I guess I don't like girls. Like there may be other parts of being with a woman that we're appealing to. Maybe the sex not for you, but you like the emotional availability and you like the intimacy you had with a woman, but maybe not necessarily the sex. Like I have three friends now that have, that have discovered that they were lesbians. And in each time it was the emotional availability of being with a woman, it was the thing that satisfied that part of it. Like that's what made them realize that part of their identity. So I think that you should just train your mind to like, maybe this time wasn't right. But don't close yourself off to having those experiences later and discovering other parts of being with a woman that do appeal to you. And maybe it may not be the vagina part of it or whatever sexual part of it, it doesn't please you. There may be other things of being with a woman that are calling you and that will be pleasing to you and you can see in a long term way. Also, maybe you might be someone who is polyamorous like you have sex with men, but you are with a woman in other way. Like, I don't know, like there are other, there are infinite number of possibilities that will, that could be your future in this. So don't think that you're right or you're wrong or you did the wrong thing or that's just not for you because it didn't feel right this time. Like allow yourself the space and the time to just let it develop when, when it, when it's right, it's right and you'll know. You know what I mean? Yeah.

[B]

You know, there's a guy on TikTok named Jacob Hoff. Jacob Hoff, you should look him up. Jacob is a gay guy with a girlfriend and he's Like, I'm not bisexual. I'm a gay guy. I have a girlfriend and we have sex and I'm sexually attracted to her. So people, he's like, I'm not attracted to women. I'm attracted, like, just this one woman. That's why I say I'm not bisexual, because I'm not really attracted to women as a whole. It's just this one woman I am sexually attracted to. But other than that, I am just pretty much exclusively attracted to men. But also, just because you don't want to have sex with that one woman doesn't mean that you're not a lesbian or not bisexual. Maybe you just weren't attracted to her. Maybe she just isn't your type. You know what I mean? And there is a section of the sapphic community that is very over there they are. They're not interested in these quote unquote straight girls who are trying to find themselves because they find they get their hearts broken. So I just want to say that is a thing in the world. So your trepidation is not unfounded, it's not unjustified. But I think that if you're thinking about trying to hook up with girls, then, baby, you're probably not straight. And you're also. Your queerness or your bisexuality does not have to be 50 50. There's this idea that if you don't want to hook up with men, if you're not as equally attracted to men as you are attracted to women, that you can't be pansexual, you cannot be bisexual. It has to be right down the middle. If you are mostly attracted to men, but you only like a certain physical attributes of women or vice versa. That doesn't mean you're not bi or doesn't mean you're not pansexual. It just means that you're not on this 5050 scale, you know what I mean? And baby, trying to date in no shade to Mississippi, but baby, you're probably gonna get a lot of closeted wives and y' all trying to turn you out in Mississippi. I have a lot of friends who are like, girl, these closeted Mississippi girls will. Will get you together and ruin your life because they will not. They're not leaving their husbands. You will be their secret, yada, yada, yada.

[D]

And for all intents and purposes, they've probably been betrothed to this dude ever since, you know, their parents were high school football players together and blah. And it becomes that. And they're stuck with these dudes. And now they finding you at the club and they want to just eat a little puss puss and move on.

[B]

Yeah, I have a couple of sapphic friends who are like, girl, these don't with you. Do not with these. Do not with these married women. Do not with these married women. They will ruin your life. They will. They will turn your upside down. And that's not from experience. I've never a married woman once in my life. But that being said, who married a woman? Oh, was I the one who. You from all Stars. So. So just so you guys know, I do think that you should probably take your ass over to Birmingham or up to Nashville or over to, you know, somewhere in. In New Orleans or Baton Rouge or somewhere. Because Mississippi did not have a lot in terms of queer. I don't think there's any gatewars in Mississippi. I think the, the last gay bar Mississippi closed, I think.

[D]

Does Birmingham have a lot?

[B]

Yeah, Birmingham is a pretty. Is a pretty big town. Has a lot of. It has like one or two gay bars. Birmingham has gay bars. Yeah, Birmingham is a. Is it. Alabama is. Is a small state. But to understand the difference between Georgia, Alabama and Mississippi, they're on a scale of like country country or country est. And Georgia is country. But when you go to Alabama, you're like, Jesus Christ, baby. Georgia is the. Is. Is the big city. And then you go to Alabama and then you go to Mississippi. You're like, what is happening? This is. Is crazy. That's what Mississippi is.

[D]

I've been to Mississippi. I've never. I've never been to the state of Mississippi. I don't think so.

[B]

Mississippi is wild. Mississippi is a wild, wild place.

[D]

Also, I can I have a counter. My personal one. You will find any way to work the title in of your little ep. You've said it seven times already on this podcast.

[B]

Yeah, that's why I'm my second. That's why I'm my number two artist of the year. And you're nowhere on your list. March.

[D]

I haven't put music out in like two years though, and I still have 40, 30,000 monthly listeners.

[B]

You're 30,000?

[H]

I don't.

[D]

Haven't checked. Let me see. Maybe.

[B]

Maybe it went up. What number. If I'm gonna look at what number would you be happy with? Well, I, I believe that once you release your album in the next, like, I think eight years, you said it'll be done in about eight years.

[D]

Suck my dick, Bob.

[B]

You're probably dick. I'm sure you'll. You'll. You'll get a big boost in your listeners.

[D]

I have 25.4 monthly listeners. Damn.

[B]

So everyone set your calendar for June of 2044 to get Monet's album. And actually it's March.

[D]

March coming out.

[B]

March, March 2024. Y'. All, y' all heard of unapologetically get rid of the album. Inevitably, she is inevitably gonna really stop.

[D]

It's coming out when Rihanna. When in the first quarter of next year is coming out?

[E]

Oh,

[B]

before the spring. Yes, before spring. In the. Whoa, whoa, whoa. This winter is coming out.

[D]

It's going to be. It's going to be winter. Spring.

[B]

No, no. Now you're backtracking. She's backtracking. Your honor, she's backtracking the first quarter.

[E]

The first half.

[B]

Yeah, you. You went for the first quarter. First half, like the first quarter this decade.

[D]

In the first. Within the first four months of the next year.

[E]

So April.

[D]

The first, third.

[B]

So by April Fool's Day. And if you don't release, I wouldn't be on it. And if. And if it don't come out, April Fool's Day. We're the fools. We're the fools. If it don't come up, April Fool's Day. The joke's on us, honey. We got time for one more. Hi, my name is Kevin. I need help releasing my album.

[C]

Hi, Bob and Monet. My name is Kelly and my pronouns are she, her. I'm a 22 year old cisgender woman and I have a question about handling frustrating situations when you live with your partner, especially when they're out of your control. The past two weeks, my partner and I have been having a lot of trouble with our WI fi and we basically have no Internet and it's been really hard to get any help with that. And this has kind of caused us to snip at each other a little and just feel really shitty. And it sucks because it's not really an issue between us. It's an outside issue. But we're not always handling it the best way that we can. So how do you handle these disputes when the root cause is something you can't really fix? Love you guys. Thank you.

[B]

Is it me? So, okay, me and Jacob kind of have this understanding around the house. If something needs to be done, we kind of just know the one that's gonna do it. If the router's down, Jacob is on it. Cause I can't. And I won't. And I can't. And I also won't. But also, if we need to hang a picture Jacob will stand in the living room and give me so much emotional support and so much encouragement, but my sweet baby is not about to take part in the hanging, the hanging of the pictures. He will hand me a nail or a screwdriver, but it's just not. It's not in his spirit. Just like it's not in my spirit to fix the wifi or it's not in my spirit to figure out why the projector's not working or to figure out why the. Whether why the remote isn't connecting to the fucking, you know, Xbox or whatever. And we. But maybe, maybe you and your partner just have an overlap in your skill set and you two are both could be doing the same thing. Whereas me and Jacob just kind of naturally fall into a pattern where we. We just have different skill sets that happen to complement our home quite nicely. How do you feel that accurate, you, Jacob?

[E]

I think the better example is the ceiling leak because that was something that was kind of both out of both of our wheelhouses that we both had to deal to deal with collaboratively together.

[B]

Yeah, that was true. Yeah. So two times now, on two different occasions, completely different occasions, the ceiling in my bedroom just started leaking. Just set fire to the rain. Full on bubble, pockets of paint, had to cut holes in the ceiling. Now the first time I was home, second time Jacob was a real champion. I was not home. And he did it while he. I'm very proud of you, Jacob. That was really impressive that you handled that the way you did. But we were doing this like I was calling this person, Jacob was calling that person, Jacob was emailing this person, I was talking to this person when they showed up, that kind of thing. Which probably made it a little bit easier the second time for you, Jacob, do you feel maybe.

[E]

Yeah, I think by the second time I already knew the. Also, the first time it happened, it was Christmas Day.

[B]

That is true.

[E]

That was the other issue. The other problem was that it was Christmas Day also. I was recovering from surgery. That was as well.

[B]

I forgot. That was wild.

[E]

Jesus. Yeah.

[B]

We could not win.

[D]

What is the nature. What is the question asking? I've lost the question.

[B]

The question is how do.

[H]

How do you.

[B]

If there are problems, how do you split it up between your partner to get things done? And how are you still quartered with each other when those things are irritating? Because by the way, not having Internet at home is annoying. Not having Internet at home will put you in your worst behavior. Yeah.

[E]

How do you like, stay nice when it's not necessarily anybody's Fault. You're just dealing with a frustrating circumstance together. How do you deal with that for a long time and so be your best self?

[D]

I think kind of how I do a lot of things myself. Like, I just do it myself. And, like, if I really need Andy's help, I'll be like, hey, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. For the most part, I'll, like, handle myself. Or I will, like, call everything in the house pretty much like, well, like, give me an example. I can't think of anything that I just have a handle myself.

[B]

Home and the toilet and the entire bathroom is completely flooded into the living room room. Water and water everywhere.

[D]

Why are you dumping this in water?

[B]

Because you never had your toilet overflow from, like. From, like, another apartment or water just comes up through the toilet.

[C]

Have you?

[B]

Yeah.

[D]

Have you?

[E]

Yes.

[D]

I've never experienced that.

[B]

Oh, well, must be nice

[E]

comment below if you have.

[D]

Yeah.

[B]

Bob was like, okay, you come home pretty common.

[D]

You come home and you find a burglar who. He's killed your cat and he's barbecuing, flaying a fish on your stove. How do you handle that?

[B]

Your toilet overflowing is a lot more common than a burglar killing your cat and filleting fish in your house. Okay,

[E]

you come home to your house. There's a man holding Colleen hostage. He's on drugs, and he also wants to get more fit. And he says, I need help getting sober, and I also need a personal trainer.

[D]

And, like, first of all, how did you get in here?

[B]

And the toilet's overflowing. You say you're what? What'd you say? You're what? How did you get in here?

[E]

Jay. Jay and Emilio. Please cut that.

[B]

That is all octave.

[E]

Please cut that.

[B]

Just bleep it.

[D]

Just bleep it. Just bleep it, y'.

[G]

All.

[E]

So.

[B]

But yeah, if your toys overflowing, who's gonna take care of it?

[D]

So we both. I. We. I would. We. I would spring into action was we both, like, get the water up and then call a plumber. Because I don't think there's anything we can do, like, without. Beyond. Beyond the obvious, getting the plunger and plunging it.

[B]

Who's calling the plumber?

[D]

I would probably call the plumber.

[B]

And who's talking to the plumber when he gets there?

[D]

I will probably talk to them when they get here.

[B]

And who's paying the plumber?

[H]

Me.

[B]

God damn. Andy got. Bitch, I need to move Andy. Andy ate that up. Damn. Andy is living the life. Andy just sitting in the back like, my man

[D]

Andy will probably be cleaning it up while actually, you say, I'm cleaning it.

[B]

I'm scooping up the water. I'm calling it.

[D]

I'm carrying the water being scooped up. I will probably. Because to avoid it getting worse while that's happening, we're probably what's happening. Okay. We walk in together. Boom. We both get towels. We're thinking up as we get into towels. I am already on Google Maps. Plumbers, Plumbers in my neighborhood. Calling on speaker. Hi. We're trying to get this up. Our toys overflowing. Do you guys have any? Can anyone rushing gear here tonight? They'll come over and then we're gonna build a house.

[B]

And in, like, somewhere in the midst of all. All this, your planner lost the blueprints to the house. And you have to go all the way down to town hall to get blueprints for your house. Otherwise, it cannot go forward. What is Andy doing in this situation? That's

[D]

what are there two people to do in that situation? One person has to get them. What are we.

[B]

Okay, last. You have a Thanksgiving Day dinner, and there's no gas. You have no gas in the house. And you have to figure out how to get gas in your house on Thanksgiving because your family's coming. What's Andy doing? Andy is living the life. I need to. I need to get on this Andy shit. I need to get on this Andy shit.

[D]

Andy's probably gonna go get a can of propane, and I'm calling SoCal Gas because I don't know where the fuck. Where did you even get propane from?

[B]

Did Andy go get propane?

[D]

No, that didn't happen. What are you talking about? We got.

[B]

We got the gas podcast about it.

[E]

You called.

[D]

Yeah, but we got the gas. I told you what happened. I explained what did you listen to the. How the solution was resolved.

[B]

Andy also leap into action. What was Andy's leap toward the action?

[D]

There was nothing for him to do. I just called SoCal Gas and they came and put the gas on.

[B]

I need to give me this Andy situation, baby.

[D]

Andy.

[B]

Andy is living the kept woman.

[D]

You are so Jacob. The cath woman.

[B]

Jacob, don't be taking on those from Andy. Jacob, you still doing your little chunks, honey? Don't be taking no notes from Andy. Jacob, you still doing your little chunks around the house?

[D]

What chunks? What chunks?

[B]

Jacob, like Jacob maintains our home, but I don't even be there.

[D]

How is he maintaining your home?

[B]

I don't even be at. I don't even be at home. Jacob got Our curtains installed. Jacob called. Jacob organized the painters to come to the house and. And do that whole thing. The one when they moved us from

[D]

one place to another because I was out of town. So Andy took care of that whole move by himself.

[B]

Jacob single handedly took all of our furniture to California.

[D]

No, you did not. Kennedy did that.

[B]

Please, Jake. No, Patty did it.

[F]

Actually.

[D]

No, Kennedy. Patty was working with me.

[B]

Patty and Kennedy.

[D]

No, Patty did nine, four, five to the thing.

[C]

Jacob.

[B]

Jacob. No. Jacob, what'd you do? I wasn't there.

[E]

So Kennedy organized the box and then Kennedy free and I moved the entire apartment out of the. Like the three of us moved everything out of the apartment into the pod and then the pod shifted over and then together, me, you, and Kennedy moved us out of the pod once again.

[D]

And the through line there is Kennedy. So what I'm hearing is if Kennedy wasn't a part of this, would be worked very hard.

[B]

But I'm just saying my baby was picking up boxes, honey, boxes on boxes.

[E]

And I'm a very small man.

[D]

Oh, and by box, y', all, this was. This was Jacob with his box.

[B]

Oh, baby. When I tell you, Jacob, when I tell you, Jacob will have the smallest box. When I tell you, Kennedy will be like a pack mule. And Jacob will be carrying a ring box and be like.

[D]

Jacob was like, oh, this shit is heavy. What y' all got in here?

[B]

What time? What time? When me and Jacob were living in a bedroom in Weho, but we didn't have a place yet. I said, jacob, Jacob's like, I'm going to the store. Can you give me something? I said, jacob, can you just please bring me back a 2 liter of diet Coke? And he was like, okay. Jake came back with a 2016 ounce. I said, Jacob, I wanted a 2 liter. And Jacob was like, those are heavy.

[E]

I would just like to, for clarity, I'm a New Yorker, so I walk everywhere. So I didn't want to go through the streets of LA, walk in 15 minutes looking crazy carrying a 2 liter.

[B]

Jacob,

[D]

it is not a refrigerator.

[B]

Those are heavy. We don't do grocery.

[D]

You're like, you like Patty, little Jacob,

[E]

like, okay, I think it's time. I think that's our episode for the day. It's been lovely, ladies.

[B]

Well, let me tell you one more thing. We don't go grocery shopping often, but when we take our stuff up to the car, because I was like a boy as a kid, I am like, let me tell you right now, when I say, I mean not just boy, I was like, a country boy as a kid, Jacob. I was a boy as a kid, too. One trip I will break myself in half to not have to go back to that car, baby. Jacob will take 20 trips with a smile on his face. Jacob will be like, honey, I'm not about to live 18. But Jacob would be there one, one cheerio at a time.

[D]

Yeah, yeah. I'm trying to get all that in one trip for sure.

[B]

I will kill myself to make it one trip. Dropping hands, hurting knees, shaking back, cracking can't press the button can't get my keys out. But we got it in one trip, though.

[D]

Are you about to sing that song? My booty, my back breaking my booty tight

[B]

all right, let's go. Jacob, I love you Jacob, you're my

[D]

baby Backs aching my bro too tight My booty shaking from the left to

[B]

the right Jacob, I love you do you love me too, Jacob? I love you very much, he says begrudgingly. Bye.

[D]

Bye.