Sibling Advicery: Meeting Queens/Learning to Read

Summary

Sibling Rivalry – Episode Summary

Episode Title: Sibling Advicery: Meeting Queens/Learning to Read
Release Date: April 4, 2022
Hosts: Bob the Drag Queen and Monét X Change

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Overview of the Episode's Theme

In this advice-heavy installment of Sibling Rivalry, Bob and Monét tackle listener questions covering awkward social dynamics, boundary-setting, neurodivergence in friendships, the art of “reading” within queer humor, customer service struggles, and the do’s and don’ts of interacting with drag queens in public. Throughout, the duo riff with signature banter and vulnerability, sharing personal stories both comedic and sincere.

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Key Discussion Points and Insights

1. Opening Banter: Life in NYC & LA ([01:15]–[05:46])

• Bob reminisces about his bodega cashier, Chogi, and the colorful, often artistic people one encounters in New York City.
• Monét and Bob compare New York and LA’s “everyone is an artist” stereotypes, offering a playful take on Tinseltown’s glitz and perceived fakeness.
• Bob shares a favorite joke and a mischievous story from his time working near Carnegie Hall.
  • Memorable moment:

    “Going to the headliner at Pride is like going to Times Square to see the ball drop.” – Bob ([11:30])

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2. Giving and Receiving Advice: Disclaimers & Approach ([05:46]–[07:43])

• Reflecting on controversial past advice, Bob and Monét clarify that their advice is for entertainment, not to be taken as professional counseling.
• They challenge the notion that seeking advice on a podcast is “cringe” and defend open vulnerability.
  • Notable quote:

    “Don’t shame other people for getting advice in a public way.” – Monét ([07:33])

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3. Family Obligations vs. Personal Fulfillment ([07:49]–[12:12])

• Caller Dilemma: Skipping a family reunion for NYC Pride, particularly when not out to all family members.
• Bob and Monét advocate for the caller prioritizing his own life and happiness.
  • Bob: “You’re an adult. You can just say, ‘Guys, I want to spend time with my friends, and I’ll see you next time.’” ([09:44])
  • Monét’s advice: Use a friend-related excuse, avoid coming out unless ready, and seize the special experience of Pride.
  • Both discuss balance—family will (usually) be around; seize experiences meaningful to you.
  • Bob’s practicality: “Everyone might not be around for decades to come.” ([12:12])

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4. Navigating Roommate and Chosen Family Drama ([13:16]–[19:19])

• Caller Dilemma: Not vibing with boyfriend’s best friend/roommate, who has complex mental health issues.
• Monét emphasizes boundaries: you don’t have to be friends with all your partner’s friends.
  • “You are a grown ass man… Be cordial, but you don’t have to Kiki and get lunch together.” ([14:05])
• Bob discusses the extra difficulty if you share a living space, but still upholds the right to polite distance.
  • “Boundaries are a really fierce form of communication.” ([17:20])
  • “You don’t want to get between your partner and their best friend.” ([18:34])
• Both recount examples where they simply limit time around difficult people, drawing lines without drama.

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5. Friends, Neurodivergence & Social Quirks ([21:24]–[24:40])

• Caller Dilemma: ADHD-related hyperfixation making it hard to follow conversations; worried about annoying friends.
• Honest admissions: Bob suspects he might have ADHD but resists formal diagnosis/reflection on childhood Ritalin scares.
  • “If I do have it, I’ve figured it out. I got a system that's working for me.” – Bob ([21:59])
• Both suggest not to feel ashamed—the reality probably isn’t as bad as the caller fears.
  • “You may be way more sensitive about it... If this was really annoying, your friends would have told you by now.” – Monét ([24:05])
• The segment leads to playful banter about each other’s “charming quirks.”

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6. The Art of the Read: Shade in Queer Friendship ([26:04]–[31:49])

• Caller Dilemma: Struggling to “read” or shade friends without accidentally being mean.
• Monét suggests self-filter: aim for a witty, not vicious, version of a joke—dial down the intensity.
  • “Try not to go with the worst read you can think of. Think, ‘What’s a little less severe than that?’” ([27:05])
• Bob warns some people just aren’t suited for that brand of humor—and that’s OK.
  • “Maybe the yuck yucks aren’t for you. Not everyone has to be reading.” ([28:41])
• The duo share stories on hurt feelings arising from failed jokes, referencing their own friend group’s dynamics (such as the “Mateo cries” stories, [29:33]–[31:27]).

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7. Code-Switching & Customer Service as a Minority ([31:53]–[38:22])

• Caller Dilemma: Being “mean” at work when dealing with entitled students, especially when feeling racial bias; supervisors ask for “soft language.”
• Bob urges professionalism—standing up for yourself without getting “spicy.”
  • “I think you can stand up for yourself without being mean.” ([34:11])
  • Shares a personal example of confronting microaggressions diplomatically.
• Monét relates, recalling racially coded experiences while working hotel front desks.
  • “They would always speak to Carolyn because Carolyn was a savior. Carolyn is looking at the same POS… but they always wanted the white desk agent.” ([35:54])
• Both discuss finding a functional “customer service voice,” ending with a hilarious roleplay of customer interactions ([37:22]–[41:18]).

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8. Meeting Drag Queens: Etiquette & Fan Interactions ([43:17]–[55:06])

• Caller Dilemma: Unsure how or when to approach drag queens in public.
• Both outline the ideal fan approach:
  • Don’t interrupt ongoing conversations.
  • Don’t touch without consent.
  • Be aware of the context (don’t interrupt shows or private moments).
  • Keep it brief and positive.
  • Don’t expect a picture every time, and don’t be offended if declined.
• Bob’s favorite approach:

  “If there is a break, you say, ‘I just want to quickly say I really appreciate your work… Do you mind if we get a quick picture?’ And then leave.” ([48:41])

• Both share fan horror stories including odd interruptions, rude photo/video incidences, and passive-aggressive meet-and-greet behavior.
  • Bob: “You really cannot… communicate with a drunk person.” ([48:41])
  • Both agree: it’s OK to decline a photo if you’re not feeling your best.
  • They give behind-the-scenes tea on how some queens handle (or don’t handle) fans requesting photos with just one queen at meet-and-greets.

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Notable Quotes & Moments

• Monét (on boundaries):

  “You are a grown ass man… Be cordial, but you don’t have to Kiki and get lunch together.” ([14:05])

• Bob (on being asked for advice):

  “Any advice that Monét X Change and I give here on this podcast, this is strictly for entertainment purposes only.” ([06:52])

• Bob (on shade gone wrong):

  “Maybe the yuck yucks aren’t for you. Not everyone has to be reading.” ([28:41])

• Monét (on work microaggressions):

  “Anytime we didn’t offer them what they wanted… they would always speak to Carolyn because Carolyn was a savior.” ([35:54])

• Bob (on fan etiquette):

  “You don’t look excited? Well, I’m not as excited as you are. I think you’re probably more excited than I am.” ([46:31])

• Bob (on meet-and-greet snubs):

  “Every once in a while, one fan will be so bold as to be like, ‘Can I get a picture with just Monet?’… It doesn’t bother me.” ([53:17])

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Timestamps for Important Segments

• NYC vs LA life, Tinseltown/Artist Banter: [01:15]–[05:46]
• On giving advice & disclaimers: [05:46]–[07:43]
• Family reunion vs. Pride: [07:49]–[12:12]
• Roommate/boyfriend’s best friend boundaries: [13:16]–[19:19]
• ADHD, friendship quirks, “not paying attention”: [21:24]–[24:40]
• Reading humor / hurting feelings: [26:04]–[31:49]
• Customer service, microaggressions, code-switching: [31:53]–[38:22]
• Drag queen fan etiquette: [43:17]–[55:06]

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Tone & Takeaways

True to form, the episode is crammed with off-the-cuff laughter, candid confessions, and real talk about queer social navigation. Both hosts inject warmth, sharp wit, and personal anecdotes throughout, making this a must-listen (or must-read!) for anyone in the queer community, those navigating tricky social waters, or fans wanting to approach their favorite queens the right way.

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Summary prepared by Sibling Rivalry’s number one air-kiss expert. 🫶

Transcript

[Caller]

Close your eyes, exhale. Feel your body relax and let go of whatever you're carrying today.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Well, I'm letting go of the worry that I wouldn't get my new contacts in time for this class.

[Caller]

I got them delivered free from 1-800-contacts.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Oh, my gosh, they're so fast.

[Caller]

And breathe.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Oh, sorry. I almost couldn't breathe when I saw the discount they gave me on my first order. Oh, sorry. Namaste.

[Monet X Change]

Visit 1-800-contacts.com today to save on your first order.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

1-800-contacts.

[Monet X Change]

I started Ornod in 2013 and we make bike apparel. The best part of Shopify for me is our ability to run the business as essentially non technical people. We're able to admin everything on the back end, front end, and sell things online easily. If Shopify were a bike accessory, I think it would actually be the bicycle. It's the thing that you do the thing on. We run the business on Shopify. Start your free trial on shopify.com. Oh, we started. Hi, Bob. Hi, Bob. Do you miss Shogi?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I don't think about Shogi very often, to be honest. Every once in a while, Chogi will cross my mind. Everyone listening. I would like to give some context. Chogi was the cashier at my bodega at 945Amsterdam Avenue at 106 in Amsterdam when I lived there for a couple years. And he called me POB and we had a. An interesting, like a fun banter relationship he really seemed to enjoy. I think it was because I used to come in and such like ridiculous outlandish outfits. And he was just so like, he's

[Monet X Change]

like, what the, you know, I live in New York City type? The person that you see every day. Pretty much every day. You saw Chogi every day of your life?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Yeah, pretty much, yeah.

[Monet X Change]

To see him, like one time you're the. You're a fucking witch. One time you're. Half your face is black, half your face is white. One time you're a robot. He's like, what is going on?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Well, he didn't see. It wasn't like that. Chugga was like, what?

[Monet X Change]

It was like that. But I think internally he's like, this is crazy.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I think Chuck was just like, this guy's a drag queen and he does his thing. Maybe in the beginning, but I think I told him, I said, I just dress up, I go. I go to work in different costumes. And he was kind of like, oh, he was excited to see me. And he was really lovely. And he was from Egypt and he had he had a daughter. I found out later on.

[Monet X Change]

Did Shogi ever ask you for advice? No.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Chuggy and I did not have that kind of relationship. How about your. Your rapping cleaning lady back in. When they had a cleaning lady. I remember also a rapper and.

[Monet X Change]

No, that's you.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

And offered Monet a mixtape or something.

[Monet X Change]

I told you her name one time. You were like. You used to call me that all the time.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

And I. I forgot it.

[Monet X Change]

Damn.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

It was like a man mistress. Oh, she had like a rap name?

[Monet X Change]

Yeah, it was like mistress something. Yeah, she was really cool. She. She had a kid and so she was. She was great. She never asked me for. I mean, she'd ask me for advice with tv, film stuff, actually, because the last time she cleaned for me, she was like, getting this opportunity to do this show on VH1, some type of rap show, and she was like, like, how you handle, like, business stuff? I was like.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Her name was Bell Khalees and it was Bell Khalees almost are, wasn't it?

[Monet X Change]

And anyway, and she was asking me, like, how, like, you handle, like. Because I was on Drag Race at this time, and I was like, oh, you need to get yourself a manager. She's like, yeah, I had this manager who, like, tried to, like, fuck me off. And he tried to, like. He tried to like, you know, she was like, going through the woes of the biz and trying to like.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Did you listen to her mixtape?

[Monet X Change]

I did not listen to it. Ms. Diamond. No, it wasn't Mr. Diamond, but she.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I just remember thinking it was. It was interesting that Monet's cleanly was. Was like this rap, rap diva.

[Monet X Change]

Everybody in New York trying to make a girl.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Everybody, everybody. Everybody. Honestly, most people see in New York is probably an artist.

[Monet X Change]

Yeah.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Especially if they work like.

[Monet X Change]

You know, I feel more so in la. I feel like everyone in LA is an artist. Is, is. Is some type of artist. Like film, tv.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Let's try. Just because the circles we run in. Maybe if you step outside of a circle, it's probably like.

[Monet X Change]

I don't know. But LA is Tinseltown, everyone. A lot of people involved in tv films.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Why do they call it Tinseltown?

[Monet X Change]

I don't know. Jacob. Why do they call LA Tinseltown? Yeah, because it's Sparkles. There's this Bette Davis quote, and it's a famous one. And someone asked her on an interview, she's like, like, what is. Like, what is like, the fastest way to get to Hollywood? She said, the one on one.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

You ever heard when they Go. How do you get to. How do you get to. Oh, the. The tourist question go. How do you get. When the tourists ask you, how do you get to Carnegie Hall? And then they just go, you just practice because tinsel is like, shiny and bright, but also like, kind of fake and kind of trash.

[Monet X Change]

Oh, so you a fake ass nigga if you live in Hollywood. I don't live in Hollywood. You live in Hollywood. You a fake ass nigga.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Okay. I used to work at Jekyll and Hyde. I would do that Carnegie hall joke a lot because we would live. We worked right around the corner from Carnegie Hall. I was like a block away. I would love to say practice. And I also. I think I told you already my camera bit that I would do. We would come in and be like, oh, my God, has any. Has anyone seen a. I left my camera here. It's silver, it's in a black case. And I go, wait, it's silver, it's a black case. They go, yes. And I go, no, I haven't seen that.

[Monet X Change]

Oh, my God, that is so rude.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

And they go, it was in that booth. I go, oh, in that booth? They go, yes.

[Monet X Change]

I go, no, no, no, bro, that's not funny.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

To be honest, I thought it was pretty funny.

[Monet X Change]

These people, like, they come to New York, they're probably some bitch from like some fucking Ohio that's never been to New York. All her pictures from all the sites and stuff are on this camera. You getting there hopes up in that one. That is sick. You are sick.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Glad I didn't do it to Jada Smith. I would have got sick.

[Monet X Change]

Oh, Jada.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I would have got Hancocked.

[Monet X Change]

So we're giving advice today. Are you ready to get some advice? People an episode recently, they're like, monet, your advice was wild. I was like, I was telling you

[Bob the Drag Queen]

in the moment that it was wild.

[Monet X Change]

And I still don't think it was wild.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

And you were not listening to me.

[Monet X Change]

I still think it was wild.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

But then also the woman who. She said she confirmed later because she's a patron. She was like, that's not what I was saying.

[Monet X Change]

Okay, but again, we. We are. We are assuming. And also the advice offer, I was like, this is something going on for 10 years. This is. You need, like, therapeutic advice and is. It's beyond the realm of what we can offer you.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Yeah, I mean, I don't think 10

[Monet X Change]

years is a long time to go through something.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I don't think we need to get back into it. But what I was saying was I think that you sometimes jump into some really odd possibilities. I wouldn't call them conclusions, but, like, you would give advice from a very strange standpoint.

[Monet X Change]

When I see someone has something that is so. That has been irking them for a long time, I'm assuming they have gone through all the reasonable things and all the rational things. So I want to offer the irrational.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Well, the lady confirmed that was not what she wanted and she thought it was good for her.

[Monet X Change]

And I hope she found the help that she deserves.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Also, I want to say we should do an official disclaimer. But listen, any advice that Monat X Change and I give here on this podcast, this is strictly for a entertainment purposes only. This is not actual advice that you should be taking. We were very grateful. You know, people keep saying online, people being like, I keep seeing. Not keep saying. I seen it a few times. People like, it's so cringe that people actually submit advice. Why?

[Monet X Change]

I saw that.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Why is that cringy?

[Monet X Change]

I know. I don't.

[Caller]

I don't.

[Monet X Change]

I don't get that either. I've seen that a couple of times, too.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

That's weird. That. That seems like a weird response to me. It's so cringey that people actually ask for advice.

[Monet X Change]

I think these are people who, for whatever reason, they. They have some awkwardness about sexual. Seeking advice in a public forum, that may seem odd to people.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Maybe they're just embarrassed easily.

[Monet X Change]

Yeah. And, like. And getting advice out loud in a public form seems, like, really cringe and really weird for them. And that's valid. But, I mean, don't shame other people for getting advice in a public way.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Yeah, that was a weird response. All right, let's listen to our first colaire.

[Monet X Change]

Okay, I'm gonna click the first one.

[Caller]

Hi, Baba Monet.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Love you guys.

[Caller]

So I have a question. So I am black, and, you know, in the black community, family reunions are huge. Huge for us. Like, everybody's going to be there, and it's just something that you just do not miss in our community. And I just recently moved to New York City less than a year ago, and our family reunion this year happens to fall on New York City Pride Weekend. And so I'm trying to figure out how to tell my family that I'm not going to be at the family reunion, that I want to go to Pride instead. It's going to be my first one in New York City with my boyfriend, and I really want to stay here, but I'm not sure how to approach that situation, and a lot of my family doesn't even know that I'm out. I don't know if I should just lie, make up an excuse. What should I do?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Well, I mean, there's a lot to unpack here. I mean, one of my questions, like, I don't know. I don't know why you're not out to your family. I don't know if you just haven't come out. I don't know if you think you can't come out to your family. This is not a situation I've ever found myself in. I have found myself in scenarios where my family wants me to come do something, but I can't come because of work or sometimes I just don't feel like coming, quite frankly. But that being said, I think it's. I'm also not someone who visits my family that frequently. Like, people who are home like five, six, seven times a. That is wild to me.

[Monet X Change]

Yeah, I'm not that.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I go home for three days at a time, never more than three days at a time, and then I leave and I do that like a couple of times a year.

[Monet X Change]

That's crazy to me too.

[Caller]

That's just.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

That's kind of how I was raised. Like, you know, when I was a kid, I went to Mississippi once in the summer. I did go every summer. That was because, you know, when your parents still have jobs, they can't. When. When you have a single mom who can't afford daycare, you can't just keep your kids all summer long.

[Monet X Change]

You know what I mean?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

So we go spend each summer. But I just. I just did. I never grew up one of those folks. Like, going to visit family a whole lot. That's never been part of my experience as a. As an adult or as a kid. But it seemed like your family's quite used to that. And honestly, you're an adult. You are an adult. Like, you can just say, guys, I want to spend time with my friends and I'll see you next time. I'll see you at the next gathering.

[Monet X Change]

Yeah, I would say that too. I was like, if you are not out, you don't want to come out to them in this way. I would just say, hey, mom, there's like some stuff going on with my friends around this time, and I can't go home. Like how? Yeah, bitch. Once you leave home, like, bitch, you have your life to live and you don't going. Going to. Pride is more important to you. That is, you want to do your first pride in New York City. New York City. New York City. Pride is fucking great.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

So great.

[Monet X Change]

It is such a good time. So, yeah, like, and. And you have your boyfriend for the first time. I think that feels more important to you. Like, mom, my friends and I are doing something this. This weekend. I'm. I'm doing a friend thing. I love you guys. I'll come see you in August. Whatever.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Maybe you can come after Pride. Maybe you can come after Pride and just see, you know, the family.

[Monet X Change]

The family reunion is the thing, though. That's like I was saying, you just

[Bob the Drag Queen]

see the family who's still in town. Like, I don't know. I know my family reunion is in Mississippi, which is where my family lives. And if I go the week after, I won't see everyone, but I'll still see the family that lives in Mississippi.

[Monet X Change]

Yeah. So just be like, you know, you want to do this thing, and hopefully your relationship with your boyfriend will last, and then maybe you'll come out to your mama this year. You bring your boyfriend to the family. Who knows what the possibilities are? But this year, going to fucking Pride in New York City is going to be the Kikiana who's headlining it. Did they announce a headliner this year?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I don't know if they announced it already.

[Monet X Change]

It's pretty early. Yeah, it is pretty early, but New York City Pride is great, and you want to celebrate. Celebrate this with your boyfriend doing the parade. Seeing the headliner at Pride, I've never seen the headliner.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

It's too much.

[Monet X Change]

It's like 10,000 people going to the

[Bob the Drag Queen]

headliner at Pride is like going to Times Square to see the ball.

[Monet X Change]

Yeah. It's crazy.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Never in a million. I would honestly, I would personally just rather go to a gay bar and see a queen I like.

[Monet X Change]

Except there's something, though, like, New York City Pride, it's fucking Kylie. But you take a Molly and she's just like. Like Kylie ing and you're like, in Pride to Euphoria. I would kind of love that.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I don't think I would ever take a Molly or go to a Kylie Minow concert. I would go to Kylie Mono concert, but I wouldn't, like, seek one out, like, if. If tickets presented themselves. I go to Kylie window concert.

[Monet X Change]

Yeah. So, yeah, I think just say you're doing something with your friends around that time and, you know, being on the script and live your life, bitch. Family gonna be around for decades to come. You always go to family to the family.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Well, everyone might not be around for decades to come.

[Monet X Change]

Well, not everyone, but everyone who's important will be.

[Caller]

Hey, Bob. Hey, Monet. So I'm Eamon and I'm calling from Brooklyn and I want some advice about what to do when you don't really like your boyfriend's best friend and roommate for some context. She's got a lot of stuff going on in her life. She's not a bad person, but just a lot of mental health, a lot of real life stuff, and has had some meltdowns where she lashes out and says some really wild shit to me, to him, to others. And there are some things I feel like just can't be unsaid to the point where I don't know how close I want to be with her, and I kind of want to just keep her at a healthy distance. Ideally, I would just never speak to her again, but I can't because they're besties and I love him. So I just want some advice on how to make things comfortable for her and me because, you know, it's her home. I want her to feel comfortable while also maintaining some of my own boundaries, maybe. And my boyfriend sort of gets both sides. I mean, he sides with me, but he wants us to, you know, figure it out on our own. So he's kind of taking a step back, which I'm not crazy about. But I get it because it must be hard to be in that situation. But yeah. So any advice you have on how to deal with the situation would be great. I know I'm kind of stuck and that it's probably, you know, a hard situation to. Oh, my God, this edible's hitting too hard. Anyway, thank you. Sorry.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

What in the Monet exchange.

[Monet X Change]

Boundaries, boundaries, boundaries, boundaries. Listen, I've said this on the podcast before. I'm a very big proponent of you do not have to be friends with your partners, all your partner's friends, and especially this is a relationship that you want to keep distance from. You are a grown ass man, and this is something that will make you feel good, and this is something that will. That you want to enact as you make boundaries. You don't have to be rude and nasty to her, and when you see her in a room, ignore her. But you can be cordial. You can be cordial and be like, hey, Maria, great. How are you?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Good.

[Monet X Change]

Cool. And then just move on. So you think the boyfriend's. So the boyfriend and the best friend together, and the boyfriend lives away.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Well, it wasn't clear. I can't tell if they all live together, but I know it seems like he said, my boyfriend's best friend slash roommate.

[Monet X Change]

Right, right, right, right.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

So it Sounds like.

[Monet X Change]

But is he saying that he's a roommate of all of them?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I'm not sure.

[Monet X Change]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I mean, if you, if you all.

[Monet X Change]

If you do live with her, that may be a little trickier because how you have to interact when you're like trying to share spaces and stuff like that. But if they don't, that's even more reason that you don't have to interact with them more than you want to. And yeah, and your boyfriend is aware of it, so it's not like your boyfriend doesn't know. And there's this like shady vibe. Your boyfriend knows that you want to distance yourself from her. And your boyfriend should know that this is something that you need for your mental health. For you to feel better about yourself, for you to feel better about that relationship with her. It's interacting with her less and keeping her at arm's length. And I think that's fine. A grown ass man. And just handle it that way. Be cordial. Like, just like you would a coworker that you don't vibe with a coworker that gets on your nerves. You start to work with them because you guys both work at. At the Chick fil a together. Oh, God, not Chick fil A. You guys both work at the Office Max. Work at the Chick fil A. I know you guys both work at the Office Max Office Max together. So you have to be cordial. But you don't have to interact and be friends and Kiki and get lunch together. You can be cordial and just leave it at that.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

There was a guy, my chick fil. These remind me of Clay A. And he was like an exact, like, replica of. He looked like Clay Aching. He talked like he had that weird, like, specific gay southern accent. But he said he wasn't gay, though.

[Monet X Change]

Do you think he was?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Yeah, for sure. And I remember one day he came trigger. Not trigger.

[Caller]

Warning.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Gross warning. Growth poop warning here. He came out of the bathroom. He was the manager. He was a very young man. He's maybe like 22 or something. And he came out, he was like, someone shit in the urinal. And we were like. We were all like, ew. And he was like, well, someone's gotta clean it up. We're all like, we're not getting shit out of the urinal. And he was like. He was like trying to pick us to do it. And also, this is the chickfila. Everyone who worked there was black except him. So it was me, him, some other people, another manager, this black woman who was A manager. And then him. And he was like, I need. He looked at me like, I need you to take the shit out of you. And I said, I'm not. I'm absolutely not doing that. And I looked at him and I say, you get paid more than anybody here. I was 19. I said, you get paid more than anybody up in this piece. This. This really sounds like a U job, you know, he cleaned the shit out of the urinal. He sure did. Anyway, um, you know, it. I think it is a little more complicated than a work scenario because this is your home. Like, the way you want to be relaxed at home, isn't it? If you live together. I'm going to give advice both ways, I guess, because you want to be. You want to be comfortable in your home if you live with this person. But I also have friends like Nick, who. There are people who live in these scenarios or these houses in New York City where they have. They have, like, roommates that they basically never talk to.

[Monet X Change]

Yeah.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Like people. They're like, we just all. We are. We are just financially helping each other, afford to live in a decent place. We do not speak to each other. We're not buddies, we're not friends. We just respect each other's cordial space.

[Monet X Change]

In college, that was college, that was me, I had a roommates, which I ain't never talked to them.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

And, you know, dealing with someone who has mental health issues, if you have a friend or a family member who has mental health issues, they do. They do kind of become your issues too, because, like, you are dealing with the issues. You're dealing with them while they deal with the issues. You're not. You're not dealing with it to the same degree. But if you. If you have a loved one or a person in your life who has some mental health issues, it does affect the people around them. And I. I don't think it's shady to be like, I don't want to deal with that. It seemed like you just made that she has some, like, some issues. It's not shady to be like, I just. Because maybe you're not in a space to deal with it. Maybe you're struggling with your own stuff and you're like, I can't deal with my stuff and your stuff. I don't have the. I don't have the bandwidth to do that. I think that boundaries are really important to set. It is a great. It is a really fierce form of communication, setting boundaries with people and making sure that everyone respects them. So I'm very much Team, get your boundaries respected no matter what. And. And I will give you this advice, though. You don't want to get between your friend and their partner because it's. I mean, you don't. Between your partner and their best friend. You don't want to get between your friend and their party. You don't get between someone and someone they love. Like, I. I don't do that. I do not get involved. I've had part. I've had friends. Alfredo used to do this guy that I didn't like. I've already said this guy that I couldn't stand, you know.

[Monet X Change]

Oh, yeah, yeah.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I didn't. I did not like that guy. He was.

[Monet X Change]

He was.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

He was just wild and just, like, not good for operator. But I didn't tell him. I just limited my interactions. I just. I just didn't really hang around him very often. If Alfredo said he was with him,

[Monet X Change]

I'd just be like, well, I'm just not gonna.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I'm not gonna invite you over tonight.

[Monet X Change]

Yeah.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

You know.

[Monet X Change]

Yeah, I agree.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

All right, let's do our next win.

[Caller]

Hi, Bob and Monet. My name is Yanny. I am a cis gay man. I am 22 years old, and I live in Vancouver, British Columbia. My pronouns are he, him. My question is. So I have adhd, and one of the biggest things I suffer from or deal with is hyper fixation and just not being able to absorb information well. And this has been a struggle with some of my friends where when I'm trying to have a conversation with them or they're trying to have a conversation with me, there are parts when I just, you know, find myself losing focus or I'm tuning out. And I feel bad because I have to constantly ask my friends to repeat what they said. And I know some of them are getting frustrated with me now. I don't really want to use it as a crux or an excuse to, you know, explain why that's happening. I've been trying to explain to them, like, you know, I'm sorry, it just happens. I can't. I'm trying to do better with it, and I have steps I go through to try and prevent that from happening. And I'm just currently taking medication for it. But, yeah, if you guys know any tips or tricks to staying focused or just, you know, being able to. Just being aware of what's going on around you, that would be awesome. Sincerely, from. Huh?

[Monet X Change]

What?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

You know, I feel like, okay, so full disclosure, I. I probably have adhd, but I'm really afraid to get diagnosed it doesn't. It doesn't. It just doesn't speak to me. When I was a kid, they tried to diagnose me with some sort of a Attention deficit disorder or. Attention deficit disorder. And I remember my mom being like, this is back when they were putting everyone on Ritalin, and, like, there was this. This fear that, like, you'd have, like, a Ritalin zombie child. So my mom was like, I don't want my. I just don't want my son on Ritalin. So we'll just. We'll just deal with it. And that's just what I did. And ever since then, I've just kind of not wanted to know if I have ADHD or add. I just don't want to know, you know, because I guess in my mind, I'm like, I've just. I figured we just talked about this

[Monet X Change]

earlier on the phone last night.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I'm like, if I do have it, I figured it out. I got a system that's working for me, and I'm cooking, you know, but it's really amazing that you're getting the medicine that you need. And I don't think asking what someone's saying, I don't think it's that big of a deal.

[Monet X Change]

What do you mean? Like, what would you say?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Yeah, if your friends are getting that annoyed. Like, that just seems. That seems wild.

[Monet X Change]

I see how it could be a thing. Like, if it's like, if it has multiple times or like, we have. We're hanging out for an hour, and it's like every time, like, the group is talking. Like, what again?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Patty does that all the time.

[Monet X Change]

Yeah, and I'd be like, like, Patty.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I mean, sometimes we'll give him. So there's this thing. Patty's our friend who's like. It's usually because Patty's on his phone.

[Monet X Change]

Yeah, he's on his phone.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

We'll all just be talking, and we'll be like 10 minutes into the conversation, like, three conversations down the line, and then we'll look at Patty and probably be like, what? What? And we just kind of go, oh, we'll go, Patty, come on. But then we'll just move. But we're not, like, we're not that. We're not annoyed. I mean, we're like, a little. Like, that's a little hair annoying. But, like, we still love Patty and we still want to hang out with Patty. I mean, I think that there might be a chance that you probably think it's more annoying than they think it is. I mean, I think it's just like a charming, quirky thing that Patty does. Patty's on his phone. He's not paying attention.

[Monet X Change]

I think that I'm happy that you are getting medic because I have a few friends who not recently, but in the past two or three years have been diagnosed with adhd. And them taking the medicine has really, really, really improve their quality of life, about how they feel about themselves and being able to focus more. So I said, as I say, the medication will definitely help you feel better about maybe interacting with your friends more, getting shit done at work or leisurely, whatever you're struggling to focus on. So the medicine really well in my friends, it really has helped them. It really has improved their functionality. 100. So that is the plus side of taking, getting medicated medicine.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

What do you think about the advice with the friends and like feeling bad about it?

[Monet X Change]

I don't think you need to feel bad.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I agree. Bob.

[Monet X Change]

I think that you. That you may be seeing it more like because you're. Because you're committing the act of not focusing and them having to be look at you. Like, girl, you're probably way more sensitive about it. You're probably way more sensitive about it, and it's probably not as big of a deal to them. And I'm sure if it was that crazy, I mean, I don't know how close you are to your friends, but I assume you would have had a conversation about it or someone would be like, Jeffrey, I mean, huh, what? Listen, we need to talk. This is really fucking annoying to keep in. I'm sure that that would have had to happen by now if this has been going on a pattern of behavior for a long time.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Yeah, I have a lot of friends who have like, interesting quirks and that maybe could technically be considered annoying, but I find it charming and it's what I love about my, my friends.

[Monet X Change]

You know, can you. Do you want to name some charming quirks that I have that you like?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Yeah, you can be a bit hyperbolic. Anything that's charming, I think, I think these. I'm naming the charming.

[Monet X Change]

Okay, okay, okay.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

You are.

[Caller]

You.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

You are selectively confrontational. I've. I've learned in life that whenever I watch Monet interact with everyone else, I am the. I am the only person Monet is this confrontational with.

[Monet X Change]

It's not true.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Who else are you conversational?

[Monet X Change]

Garcia Dewan?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Oh, the black people.

[Monet X Change]

My oldest friends.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

All the black ones. So Monet is selectively nice to white people?

[Monet X Change]

Well, I just have way more black friends than you do. That's what it is.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

And what is that based on?

[Monet X Change]

You. You brought in color.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

What is that based on?

[Monet X Change]

You brought in color.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I'm just saying, you're just nice to all the white people. Bunny Patty, you're so sweet to them. Andy, one of my.

[Monet X Change]

One of my employees. One is my co worker and the

[Bob the Drag Queen]

other one is I'm your coworker.

[Monet X Change]

And also. But my co worker.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I'm your coworker.

[Monet X Change]

I treat my coworkers how they treat me.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I'm just saying. I'm your coworker.

[Monet X Change]

Bunny leaves his grace and I give her grace back.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Bunny, the queen of grace. All right. Hi, Monet and Bob. I am 23 years old. I'm a 23 year old gay man. And a lot of the humor my friend group uses can be mean and shady. We're just always kind of reading and dragging each other. While it may seem wild to other people, it's all just fun and we enjoy it. Unfortunately, I like Utica and every time I try to be shady or read somebody, I end up being mean and hurting their feelings. How do I keep up with my fellow shady gays and still keep it funny and light? Sincerely, a bad comedian. That's why your mama dead. Dead as hell.

[Monet X Change]

Nick Smith. Nick Smith is submitting to the podcast now.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Girl, you really ate that food fast as hell like your dad ass mama ate herself to death.

[Monet X Change]

Honestly, I have experienced a friend that kind of. Not recently in the past couple years, but back in college we had a friend who would oftentimes just really push at the edge. We were like, damn, Alex, calm down, girl. And we just know that that's that friend.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I mean, maybe you can do a

[Monet X Change]

better job of filtering yourself and not saying the worst possible thing you could think of and just try to like, just reel it back. If you, if you're going to say that's why you a fat bitch and be like, maybe, maybe you stop eating so many pancakes. I don't know. Just, just, that's gotta be. That's gotta be too. But just try not to go with the worst read you can think of. If your inclination is to go to the worst thing, think, know that and be like, okay, what's something just a little less severe than that? And just try doing that. Maybe that's a good lead in. Don't think of the worst thing. That's why you a stupid fat bitch.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

That's why, that's why you had that miscarriage last week.

[Monet X Change]

Yeah, don't go through the worst case scenario.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

You know that. No, I I. We all know that person. I. I was. I had a run in with a. A drag friend, Like, a. A drag friend of mine recently who really, like, my feelings were hurt. She said something. I was like, oh, my God. My feelings are really. My feelings are really hurt right now.

[Monet X Change]

I also think with that scenario, because everyone knows Bob is obviously very funny, and it was her attempt to try to meet Bob at his funny level and try to be as funny as Bob and to, like, volley with him, but it just went too far.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

But I wasn't reading her.

[Monet X Change]

I know, but, like, I was just like.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I was just, like, walking. I just walked across the room. And then she was like, damn, bitch, you look pregnant. And I was like,

[Monet X Change]

she's trying to meet you at your. Because you're so funny.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I was like, oh, my God. She's like, are you with a child? I keep looking at you thinking, like,

[Monet X Change]

are you pregnant or something? Oh, my God.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

That is what happened. Why you say oh, my God to me, bitch? I'm just saying what happened to me. You ain't like, I'm doing something crazy and my feelings were hurt. And I was like, you know that I text her. I said, that shit hurt my feelings. I was like, you know, that, that. That hurt, but it's something. I don't know if your friends are. Are doing that to you. Yeah, I. I think you take Monet's advice. Maybe. Honestly, maybe. Maybe. Maybe the joke. Maybe the yuck yucks aren't for you. You know, we all have that one friend who just doesn't do a lot of that. Like, everyone doesn't have to be reading the whole time. Everyone doesn't have to be reading.

[Monet X Change]

That's a very gay thing, though. Gay men love doing it. This is our.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

That.

[Monet X Change]

That is our friend circle. We get together in which we're all cracking jokes and reading each other.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Yeah, but I mean, so in our friend circle, usually, like, usually Mateo gets his feelings hurt.

[Monet X Change]

Sometimes

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Mateo does cry.

[Monet X Change]

Sometimes I cry.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Mateo fully cries. Jacob has been there. Mateo cried because. Because Nick wouldn't hug him. One time after leaving our house after. After arguing over Smash Brothers. Oh, my God. You've never seen Mateo cry? No. Mateo cried because he got into an

[Caller]

argument with Bob, and Bob said Mateo was being misogynist.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

When Mateo said he didn't like Madonna. Mateo cried because Nick wouldn't hug him. Mateo cried because in for that, I knocked down a building that he built. Yeah, that's right. One time. One time. Mateo built a ramp to the sky.

[Monet X Change]

A ramp to the sky. A ramp.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

A ramp. In Fortnite.

[Monet X Change]

In Fortnite.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

And then. So what happened was Jacob was building, and then Mateo accidentally chopped down Jacob's ramp. And then you fall and you break your legs, and then someone has to come heal you, and then you, like, lose a lot of life. So Mateo was like, I'm so sorry. And then we were all, like, making jokes about how he almost killed Jacob. But then Mateo starts building a ramp, and then Mateo gets. I mean, really high up there. We were gonna do the sky bridge. And then Jacob just starts hacking away

[Monet X Change]

at this fucking ramp.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

And then Mateo. I mean, just the way the bridges fall, the way that the structures collapse in Fortnite, is it goes piece by piece. So you can see it slow, like. Like, clack, clack, clack, clack, clack, clack, clack, clack, clack, clack, clack, clack, clack, clack. Click. Like the bottom piece and the next piece. And then Mateo has no clue. So we're all on the ground, like, laughing our asses off because we can see the bridge collapsing behind Mateo. And then Mateo's just talking, and then all of a sudden, the bridge disappears from beneath him. He falls to the ground, and we. We are dying.

[Monet X Change]

Of course you are.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

We are dying, laughing. And Jacob was like, I got you back or something. And then Mateo started crying. Oh, no.

[Monet X Change]

That is so mean. Mateo is such a sweet, sweet soul.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Oh, that was so good.

[Monet X Change]

Anyway, so, yeah, so that is an insight into our friend group. That is how toxic our friend group is. You see that? So maybe you're just a girl that cannot be in the jokes. And maybe you. Maybe you should just be an audience member. Everyone can. You can just be an audience member, not necessarily a participant.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Yeah, maybe.

[Monet X Change]

Hi, Monet and Bob. I work as a lead supervisor at a dining hall at my college, and I've been told I can be very mean or rude to some of the popular that come in. The other supervisors constantly ask me to use soft language when speaking with difficult students that do not listen to what I have to say. I'm Latin, and I try Latine. Oh, Latine. Yeah, I am Latine, and I try my best. But sometimes these white people really become entitled when speaking to me, and my instant reaction is to be on the defense. Have you ever felt this way at a job? How do I utilize soft language when I think people don't take me seriously because of my race? Sincerely, indoor voices. Wow. I went first. Last.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

You know, I. This. I mean, this. This kind of. In this moment reminds me of this Will Smith scenario, which is, even if someone does you wrong, it does not give you the right to do them wrong back. So if you're at work, especially if you're at work, this is from someone who's worked in customer service for years. If the customers are getting wild with you, you just kind of have to be nice. Like, you just kind of can't be mean. I mean, you can, but then you have to just run the risk of, like, possibly having that jeopardize your professional standing, you know, your, your, your, your, your place at the workplace. And that is, that's a pretty tough one. You know, I mean, I think that, I think that you can stand up for yourself without, without being mean. You can say, hey, that felt like a microaggression. You know, I don't think, I don't, I don't want you. Like, just because I'm. I'm Latina does not mean you need to call me spicy. I'm not spicy. Okay. That feels. That's something you would only say to someone who's Latina. Why would you say that to me? I, I had a situation a while back where this guy came up to me at a meet and greeting. He was like, you just speak so well. And that, that, that triggers me as a viper. I'm just like, I do not like that comment. That's not a compliment. He said, you speak English so well. Something like that. You speak well or something. And I was like, whoa, whoa, okay, thank you. And he. And I was like, that just feels like a compliment that only black people get. He's just so well spoken. Why wouldn't I fucking speak well? I've been speaking English my whole fucking life.

[Monet X Change]

When I hear that, I think of the color Purple when the lady's talking to Sophia's kids.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Your children are so clean.

[Monet X Change]

Yeah.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

And I'm like, why wouldn't I speak well? Bitch, of course I fucking speak well. That is only something. He's like, no, no, no, I don't mean like that. And I think I said that. And I think what I actually said was, you know, that feels like a microaggression. That feels like a compliment that only black people get. You speak well. Like, why would you compliment me on my grasp on the English language when it's the only language I speak and it's the only language I've been speaking for 30 some odd years now, you know? Did you go when you went to Alaska, you tell her that she speaks well? When you went to Bianca, you tell her, how would you tell her how well spoken she was and that that was my way of doing without being, you know, spicy or mean. But some people might say that was mean, though.

[Monet X Change]

Um, you know, I toggle with the soft language part because I'm like, I guess some language can be meaner than others. That make that. That would make it hard language. But I'm like, bitch, how you talk is how you talk. No, now you are at work, so that is different. You kind of have to meet the standards of what that is at work. So I get that part of it. But. And then there is the race aspect of it. Where I used to work at, when I, When I worked at the fucking Holiday Inn at jfk, there was this, you know, I was part of the front desk staff and there was. At hotels you have regular guests, regular guests that come pretty often. And anytime a regular guest would come and they would book a certain type of room and I would have to be the one like, hey, will you book this room? And we don't and the hotel will be sold out. And then they always. It was a bunch of people of color. It was two Latin girls, an Asian dude, myself, and a white girl named Carolyn. And anytime they could, anytime that they did not want, anytime we didn't offer them what they could, what what they wanted, they would always speak to Carolyn because like, Carolyn was a savior. Caroline, like Carolyn is doing I. Carol is looking at the same pos. And Carolyn cannot get this room. Cuz we are oversold on twins, sir. So you're going to get this room. But it always like. And you know, I would try my best to not get crazy and not get h. Hy your favorite word, because

[Bob the Drag Queen]

it's not my favorite. It just is a word.

[Monet X Change]

But they would always like, Carolyn was like the white speaker at the desk and she could make all their problems go away because the people of color couldn't help them fix their problem. So I do feel, I do get that, that that dynamic of being a person of color working in an environment and like. And like the white people are the ones who can get things done or are the standard of how to behave. But working at a college is weird. The soft language again. I. I'm lucky. We're lucky to be in jobs, Ben. We speak how we speak. We, we. We.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

We don't. You had jobs where we have to.

[Monet X Change]

Right? That's what this was. Yeah. So I, I get that. And it is hard to navigate that. And you. Because you want to speak and you don't want to, and you don't and you don't want to feel like these kids are making you feel disgruntled in the workplace. So I mean, I agree with what Bob said and I think there's a happy medium of finding to what soft language is and to how you naturally speak. I think there's a happy medium. I don't feel you need to bend your will completely to be soft and to coddle maybe the wrong word. These kids. And there's a happy medium of finding what the soft language is and how you want to address how you want to present yourself, that it's still professional at work.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Yeah. There's a trend on Tik Tok while where everyone was presenting their customer service voices.

[Monet X Change]

Yeah.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

What?

[Monet X Change]

Can I hear yours?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I'm. I'm. I'm tipping up to the desk at Best Western or, or yale club.

[Monet X Change]

Hey, Mr. Calvin. How are you?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I'm good. Can I get. I need to. I need a wake up call.

[Monet X Change]

Wake up call? What time would you like your wake up call? 6:30. 6:30am p.m a.m. it's a wake up call. Yeah, but Mr.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Call.

[Monet X Change]

Well, you normally have your meetings at what, 9? So I don't know if you. I won't be asleep before at 9pm so I don't know.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I won't be asleep at 9 at

[Monet X Change]

9pm but it's 10am so it's 6:30 tomorrow morning.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

No, this morning. Can you go back and do it this morning?

[Monet X Change]

Sure, Mr. Caldwell.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I could.

[Monet X Change]

I. I will do that. Let me guess. You want to talk to Carolyn. Maybe Carolyn can set it for you.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

You're going to go back in time. Can you please make my wake up call for 6:30 tomorrow morning? Okay. Because I don't want to miss my flight.

[Monet X Change]

Will do. Thank you so much.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Thank you. Kevin.

[Monet X Change]

It's actually pronounced Kevin.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Kevin.

[Caller]

Thank you.

[Monet X Change]

There's an accent. He thought you'd know that. He's so smart.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

All right. Hey guys. I want to welcome you all to the Jekyll and High Club. My name is Caldwell. I'm going to be your waiter today. You guys ever been here before?

[Monet X Change]

No, I've never been here.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Okay, well, right now you're in the grand salon, Jacob. Right now you're in the grand salon. This is our first floor. Just so you know. I now this is New York City. Things get very expensive in New York City and we don't have free refills. But if you buy one of these special cups, you will get free refills. It's just three bucks. I'm just Going to leave it here if you want it. It's a. It's a nice souvenir to take home. You get one for the kids. You can actually share it if you get. Honestly, if you get one, I'll let you all get free refills.

[Monet X Change]

Oh, for real?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Yeah, absolutely.

[Monet X Change]

All of us can get free refills

[Bob the Drag Queen]

if you buy one of the cups on liquor too. No, no, you can't get it on liquor, but we do have great prices. For Manhattan. For Manhattan.

[Monet X Change]

You're speaking a little loud.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I know, it's. The stuff's here. The stuff. I'm sorry, it's going to be a. It's a very loud restaurant. It's a theme restaurant. So lots happening. A lot of bing, bang, boom going back and forth. So let me get your drink. What can I get you to drink? Excuse me, what can I eat a drink?

[Monet X Change]

Oh, I want a Sprite.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

A Sprite. Okay.

[Monet X Change]

Actually, I want ginger ale.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Ginger ale. Did you want the cup? No. Okay, that's cool. Ginger ale. And how about you? What can I get you to drink?

[Caller]

Hi.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

So do you have any blood orange margaritas? Yeah, we. We do. We carry the absolute blood orange. Great. Can I have that made with the tequila, though? Do you have patron? So you. Do you want. So do you want a. You want to. Oh, you. I would like a blood orange margarita.

[Monet X Change]

Why'd you make a margarita with vodka?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Like, I misheard you. I'm sorry, I apologize. I misheard you. We have. We have a blood orange. You know how to make a fucking apologize. We have a blood orange vodka and then we have a mandarin.

[Monet X Change]

That's why we should have went.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I would like a blood orange margarita made with patron. Oh, absolutely. Okay. Let me get it for you all. Look at the menu. You can look at the appetizer. I'll be right back. All right. Yeah.

[Monet X Change]

That's why I told you we should went to Dallas bbq. Like these drinks like, this is the worst birthday ever. This thing has to make a margarita with vodka. Like the fuck. Like, we don't go here.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

What do you think of my customer service voice? That's good.

[Monet X Change]

It's not just like your voice. Just a little perkier.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Yeah. Hey, guys.

[Monet X Change]

Bob the drag Queen's not that perky.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

No. I'm like, hey, what's this outro in Aspen?

[Monet X Change]

I was like, I thought someone gave you some aspirin and Aspen, because you were.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

You were like, whoa, my meet and greet. Um, I'm actually, I. I try to keep the energy a little low at Mean greets. Because I can't maintain the level of, like, some of the people do like this. I'll do a mean Greek.

[Caller]

Right?

[Monet X Change]

So confirmed.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

You're giving low energy to your fans. No, this is. This is made of mean Greek. Hey, how are you? I see them when I. And I try to find something I want to compliment. Hey, welcome. Welcome. Oh, I love this necklace. This is a nice. This is a nice necklace. It's like how you're talking to a dog. They're trying to get to trust you.

[Monet X Change]

Hey, can I tell you, in Aspen, you were very perky.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Was I? Yes.

[Monet X Change]

You are very happy.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

That sounds fierce.

[Monet X Change]

I was very happy for that.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Do you remember?

[Monet X Change]

Oh, God. What an asthman. What? What an asthma.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I was just thinking about. I was thinking about sibling Riverly and all the. All those.

[Monet X Change]

Oh, my. It was two. Here she goes.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

All those.

[Monet X Change]

It was two.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

It was little more than two.

[Monet X Change]

It was two.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

The only reason I know it's a

[Monet X Change]

little more than two is because I

[Bob the Drag Queen]

screensaved them, and I have them all. You're such.

[Monet X Change]

You're so fucking messy.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

And I remember the moment. Cause I was like, first of all, Monet and Patti are hood. Let me say Patti is country as hell. Patti is from Mississippi. And the Mississippi river jumped out, and the fucking east river did, too. So Patti and Monet, there is a. There's, like, people between them. And Patti and Monet are like, what you gonna order? Like, over their head. Did you order the chicken tenders? That is not true. And Patty's like, yeah, girl, I got the chicken. And, like, I mean, literally, I was like, what? In the third shift, Dwayne Reed is going on at sibling. I promise y'.

[Monet X Change]

All.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Cuz me and Kennedy were like, oh, how people live like this? Y' all know boy got exploding foot.

[Monet X Change]

My God.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

So boy took his shoes off. This white girl came up to the. To the. To the booth. But Monet's feet were hurting. So this girl came up, and she was so excited, But Monae just was like, ugh. And then she went. And then Monet just walked away. But she went to go change her shoes. She changed from the heels to, like, the Doc Martens, I think. But the girl was just. Because she went to Monet first, and she. Monet just turned around and up. I'm not making this up. And the girl.

[Monet X Change]

I remember this.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

And the girl was just standing there like, all right.

[Monet X Change]

So I remember this.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

And I was like, she's just changing her shoes or something. I don't know that shit. Ooh. That shit got me to go.

[Monet X Change]

Read the next question.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Hey, Bob, I've been a huge. Hey, Bob Monet. I've been a huge fan of so many rug girls. Yeah.

[Monet X Change]

Not just, hey, Bob, you are something else. You are something else. It says, hey, Bob and Monet.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Hey, Bob and Monet. I've been a huge fan of so many rude girls and local queens, of course, but I never know if it's appropriate to approach anyone, especially in public. I live in la, so I've seen a lot of queens in passing or at bars, but I kind of go by the if you're. If they're out of drag, don't bother them rule. But I usually also don't approach anyone. How do you guys feel about fans approaching you? And also, how can we be better fans to you and other queens? Thanks in advance. Sincerely. Raise chaser.

[Monet X Change]

This is a great question. Thanks for asking that. Honestly, when I'm out, I don't mind someone coming and saying, hey, but it's two times when it bothers me when, like, they see you talking or having a full conversation, something else, and they feel like they can co opt.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Sorry to interrupt you. I don't want to interrupt you.

[Monet X Change]

That drives me insane. And then sometimes they do touch your body or they, like, touch your shoulder or they, like, they're trying to. I'm like, I'm talking to someone. Like, that's just rude. Not just because I'm a drag. A drag race girl or celebrity wants to have me. That's just rude. That or if you're watching a show and you're like, literally watching a show, this bitch is performing lipstick and you trying to tip, and they're like, oh, my God.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Oh, my God.

[Monet X Change]

It's like, I'm like, I'm watching the show and then you're disrespecting fucking cornbread doing her number. And it's like, it's so fucking mean.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

And then that.

[Monet X Change]

And then also the third thing is that when you take too much of their time. Well, yeah, she's a hatted person. But then, bitch, they want to talk to you about every Runway you did on season 10.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

What is the.

[Monet X Change]

What is really the drama with you and Tamisha? Oh, my God. It's like. Like, be respectful of that person's time because they are saying hi or whatever. But you are.

[Caller]

You are.

[Monet X Change]

It's not like.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

It's not. They're usurping your time.

[Monet X Change]

Yeah. So those are the three instances where it becomes a cool. But I don't mind. I love when People come up and say hi.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

So what's the perfect. What's the perfect approach? What's the perfect fan interaction with Monet? We are at the nightclub, the show's going on. Cornbread just got off stage. And this is like the one minute moment where, like, Gigi is announcing the next girl.

[Monet X Change]

Oh, my God. Monet, I just want to say, I just love you so much. You were so good on season 10. You are the only one of All Stars 4. I love you so much, and it's so good to see you. Good to see you, babe. What's your name?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Craig.

[Monet X Change]

Nice to meet you, Craig. Enjoy the show. Right, okay, cool.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Not the droplets.

[Monet X Change]

I do air kisses.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I'm just gonna sit there.

[Monet X Change]

That's. To me, that's good. And then.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

But then again, but then if we.

[Monet X Change]

If I. If I start leaving concert, like, oh, my God.

[Caller]

Really?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

You didn't.

[Monet X Change]

You know, then that's different, you know.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Have you ever snapped on the fan?

[Monet X Change]

I've never snapped.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I snapped one time when. Okay, so I recently had this interaction. I didn't snap this time, but I went to the saloon in Minneapolis recently, like a couple days ago actually. And when I got there, this guy came up to me. This guy came up to me. He goes. He goes. He. It was. I was in the middle of a conversation with this. This really lovely lady that I met, actually, the head of security at saloon. Shout out to her. I can't remember her name, but shout out to her. And I was talking to her and the guy comes up and goes, I'm. I'm. I don't want to interrupt. And I'm like, I hate to see if you wanted to because you didn't even want to when you did it. And I would interrupt, and I was like, hi. And he goes, can I get a picture? And I said, sure. He goes, you don't look excited.

[Monet X Change]

I hate that.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

And I said. I said, well, I'm not as excited as you are. I think you're probably more excited than I am. He was like. And I was like, do you want a picture? And he was like, yeah, I guess.

[Monet X Change]

No, I don't.

[Caller]

But it was weird.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Cause I wasn't. I just said, sure. And he goes, you don't look excited. And he had like one of those voices, like a voice that a straight guy would make fun of gay guys for, like, hey. Only time I ever snapped on someone was one time I was in.

[Monet X Change]

I did snap on someone, I'll tell you.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I was in Toronto and I was watching Jada Hudson this queen I love.

[Monet X Change]

This was on some rivalry tour.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Were you there for this?

[Monet X Change]

I wasn't there, but I remember you telling me about it when you came back to the bus.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I was watching Jada Hudson. I was in the first row. Like, I could put my feet on the stage. That. That's how close I was. And this guy came up, and he was like, oh, my God. Can I please get a picture? I said, yeah, absolutely. And then he goes, I. I don't want to bother. I said, no, it's fine. You can get a picture. Just have a seat right here. He goes, no, I don't want to bother you. And I said, no, it's okay. Like, by the way, the show. The show is going on. She's doing a number right here. He has, like, two or three friends with him. And I'm like, no, it's okay, really. Have a seat. He's like, no, I feel like I'm bothering you now. And I was like, just sit down. Like, just. The show's going on. And he was like. He was like, you know what? I just. I just feel. I don't. Are you sure? And then I just. Something in me. And I said, sit down. I slapped the chair. I said, sit down.

[Monet X Change]

Sit down.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

He sat down, and we took a picture. I want to see that picture so bad.

[Caller]

Bitch.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I wanted to that picture so bad. Like, how was he looking? How was I looking? Sit. Sit. I. I mean, I slept. My hand was hurting.

[Monet X Change]

It's giving me Iana, Iyana Vanza.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Not on my watch. I'm like, sit. But it was just. It was wild. And so I remember myself. You really cannot. It's not easy to communicate with a drunk person.

[Monet X Change]

Oh, yeah, it's not.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

It's really not easy. My favorite interaction is if you're standing nearby and you're like, they're. They're talking. If there is a break, you say, I just want to quickly say, I really appreciate your work. I really love what you did on we were Here. I love you changing Eureka. I listen to siphon iv all the time. Do you mind. Do you mind if we get a quick picture and then. I mean, I don't love always in the picture, but if someone asks like that, I'll go, yeah, sure. And we'll do a quick picture, and they go, thank you so much, and then leave. That's my favorite.

[Monet X Change]

Love that.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I mean, honestly, the no picture is the ultimate. Because if you're. The reason why is if you're at a nightclub and a couple people, like, kind of Wanting to take a picture. And then one girl, the one person does it. Then everyone's like. And then you look up, and then next thing you know, you're at a meet and greet.

[Monet X Change]

And also sometimes. And sometimes. And sometimes you say no to a picture and people get offended. Was like, not always about you, bitch. I don't feel like I look my best. I may have a pimple. Like, there's this reason I may not

[Bob the Drag Queen]

want to take a picture.

[Monet X Change]

I just want to take a picture.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

One time, it was 6:30 in the morning, even early. It was like 5 something in the morning at the airport. Someone asked me for a picture.

[Monet X Change]

I never took them in the airport.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I was. And I was like, I'm not some character y' all don't understand. Like, when we in the mornings, we do a show at, like, whatever o' clock at night, and then we get to bed at, like, midnight, and then wake up at, like, five in the morning and you at the airport and you, like, have. All Your face is swollen, and someone's like, are you Bob the Drag Queen?

[Monet X Change]

I'm like, especially this bitch in the morning.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

And I'm like, yeah. And they're like, can we get a picture? I'm like, you know, I just got to be honest. I don't feel particularly beautiful right now. And they go, you are beautiful. No. And I'm like, yeah, but I'm not. I'm not feeling it. So I'm gonna. I'm gonna say no to this one. But I genuinely appreciate you, and the sentiment is not lost on me.

[Monet X Change]

You love saying that. The ones that Iceman, Andy and I were at it last time. Then we get some. Next question. Andy and I were at Evita, and then we. I just performed inside.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

And this is the last question.

[Monet X Change]

Oh, yeah, no.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Yeah.

[Monet X Change]

Oh. Andy and I were at Evita, and then I came outside because it was so high. I just did a number of videos. Andy and I just talking and blah, blah, blah. And then people are walking by, whatever, right? And this girl comes, Andy. And I. You're Andy, and this is Monet. And she just goes.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

So then I look, I was like,

[Monet X Change]

what are you doing? She goes, I was like, you were just taking a picture of me or a video? And she was like, yeah. And I was like, why? And she was like. I was like, that's so rude. I was like, don't ever do that to me. Don't ever do that to anyone. Although that was really rude. And she just, like, just walked away with. Didn't say a word, girl. And then she came back and stood there while me and Andy were talking. It was so strange.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Maybe she wasn't a fan of Andy. Maybe they didn't have nothing to do with you. Maybe. Maybe she like niggas that drive buses. One time, years ago, we were at. I was probably just in my feelings this one day and we were at the meet and greet and this guy came up to. Came up to the meet and greet with two. I think I was supposed to run the podcast for. With two bouquets of roses.

[Monet X Change]

Oh, yes.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

And he said, here's. No, he had. He had a single rose. I can't remember. It was either two bouquets of rose or like a single rose in a bouquet. I can't quite remember. But he gave me whatever the shitty of it to. He goes, this is for the girl that won. And then he turned him on to Naomi and goes, and this for the girl that should have won.

[Monet X Change]

Word.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

And then he turned his back to me like, I'm there. And then he posed and he was like,

[Caller]

work.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

And I think I just. All I did was. I think I jokingly threw the flowers over my. Over, like the other meet and greet. I threw the flowers over the entire meet and greet.

[Caller]

Work.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

And then. And one time.

[Monet X Change]

What?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

One time on Work the World, a drag queen.

[Monet X Change]

What?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

It's not my tea.

[Monet X Change]

Tell it. Is it me?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

No.

[Caller]

Okay.

[Monet X Change]

Oh, then tell it.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Who cares what time on Work the World, the queens are in pairs.

[Monet X Change]

Yeah.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

So at the meet and greet. So like, me and Monet would do

[Monet X Change]

the mean, like in like eight.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Eight.

[Monet X Change]

Four pairs of two. And so you. You make your way down the line.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Yeah. So you do a picture with me and Monet, then a picture with Violet and got Mick, and then a picture with like, Cameron and Janie and Vanjie. So there were these two girls together. And every once in a while. It does not happen often. Every once in a while, one fan will be so bold as to be like, can I get a picture with just Monet? This does not happen very often. Now, usually if that happens with me, I'll just go, I don't care.

[Monet X Change]

Like, yeah, who cares? Because these people have paid $250 to meet their. And they get to meet their favorite queen. And sometimes they idolize some of us. They have favorites like that. But if I spend my $250, I want the person I really want to take the picture with.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

You know what I mean? Yeah, it doesn't. It doesn't bother me.

[Monet X Change]

Doesn't bother me either.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

It bothers one Queen.

[Monet X Change]

It does.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

You know the queen.

[Monet X Change]

Uh huh.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

And when I tell you, When I tell you, she stormed out of that meet and greet and let that fan have it.

[Monet X Change]

Oh, should the fan have it?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Well, because she was like, can I get a picture of just this girl? And then she was like, oh, you know what you can get all your pictures with? Just like. It was something like that. And then. Or maybe she's like, I don't know. We were all. I was way down the line, so I just saw her just storming off. We were like, where is she? Where does she go? We were like, I can't even read. There's no way I can read that. I was like, where does she go? What is going on? But yeah, the girls get wild. She posted about it. Oh, that's right. Because the other girl did. Jokingly. I don't know if it was. I can't. I can't vouch for if it was a joke or not. It seemed joking. She did this to her.

[Monet X Change]

Oh, yes. And she was mad.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Yeah, I remember that was what it was. Because she can't get a picture with just her. And the girl who got the picture request went, that's also one of them. Like, if that set you off, someone cannot be friends with me. Like, I feel like they could not survive a friendship. Like, what we have. Like, I see people who, like, are like, it was. Oh, it was Bosco who's like, I just don't like to argue with my friends. I was like, bitch, you could never be my friend. Bitch. You would not stand a second in a friendship with me. I'm very happy that we're doing our podcast together.

[Monet X Change]

Me too.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

And, oh, we didn't change clothes today. Not outfit repeaters. This was. This was days after our last episode. We just haven't showered. Yeah, we just been wearing the same clothes in the same spot for days.

[Monet X Change]

Same freckle.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Talking about the Oscars again. Because it's still a hot pet as well. All right, we gotta go.

[Monet X Change]

All right, Bob, you have a good rest of your week and I'll talk to you soon.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Is that your customer service voice, Deuces?

[Monet X Change]

Yes.