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Hey, it's Ryan Reynolds here for Mint Mobile. Now I was looking for fun ways to tell you that Mint's offer of unlimited Premium Wireless for $15 a month is back.
B
So I thought it would be fun if we made $15 bills, but it
A
turns out that's very illegal. So there goes my big idea for the commercial. Give it a try@mintmobile.com Switch upfront payment of $45 for three months, $90 for six months or $180 for a 12 month plan. Required $15 per month equivalent taxes and fees. Extra initial plan term only greater than 50 gigabytes. Me slow when network is busy.
C
See terms. Hey, y'.
A
All, it's Monet X change and my
D
name is Bob the Drag Queen and this is sibling advice for you. Now listen, we all know that we are not doctors.
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Not even a little bit.
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We're not therapists. We are not psychologists.
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We don't know much about algebra.
D
Psychiatrists, if you need advice, please go to your doctor, your rabbi, your priest, your shaman, your teacher, your psych, your therapist. This is just for entertainment purposes only.
A
Yes, everything we're saying is, is for use in this podcast only. Do not take this as sound advice to take into the world to, to. To remedy your issues. If you have. Do not take any of this seriously. This is for entertainment purposes only. And we don't want anyone to feel like we are diagnosing them that we can a prognosis on life.
D
So with that in mind, let's get into some advisory. Enie, you share with me that you're upset.
A
So I'm upset and very annoyed and irritated with myself. I can't be mad at anyone else. And it's like one of those adulting things. Honestly, being an adult is overrated. And being an adult, you just have so many responsibilities and things that you have to remember and things that you have to take care of. It's a lot.
D
But would you have it any other way? Would you let some man have all the responsibilities and you just show up to things? I am, by the way, I am in my house cold. That's why I am wearing a blanket.
A
Put the heat on, girl.
D
Living with it is a battle, I have to say. I be having to fight for my right to not shiver in this house.
A
I have experienced. There was a point this winter, I was like, okay, this is ridiculous and we need to put the heat on.
D
This is crazy. It is the winter.
A
I got to that point. I had to get to that point.
D
I'm like, winter's not Coming, bitch, it's. Here we are. Look at me.
A
This is my own home.
D
This is crazy.
A
We get it. You have a show about being here. You work the word here into every sentence that you can.
D
Monet, shut the hell up. So tell me more about why you're upset. Sorry. What happened? Monet thinks everything's closed today.
A
Yes, a couple places are been closed today. I had to go to the LA DBs today, and they work there.
D
Can you please.
A
The Los Angeles Department of Building and Services, or Building.
D
You were just going to say, like, we all just knew what the Ladbs was. You was going to just.
A
I was going to break it down, but I barely got the letter s out of you. Like Monet. Tell us. I was. I was going to get there.
D
Tell us, Mom.
A
And they were closed. I. Our management company, Peg. Maddie, who works at Peg, sent me an email and I replied and I got a bounce back. Like, PG is closed today on December 9th. Like, why y' all niggas closed?
D
Well, they usually out of office by Friday. It's really kind of a Monday through Wednesday type office.
A
Is it?
D
And they work from home on Thursday and Friday usually.
A
But they. But you don't get an out of office. Bounce back, though. They'll still, like, they're working at home, but they're still working.
D
Nothing. I don't know. It was a bounce back. I think she just wrote that email
A
to you
D
because I emailed her today and she was like, what can I do for you?
A
Anyways, so I, you know, as you all know, I bought a home. And I'm in the process of renovating now. To renovate the home, you have to. You have to get certain permits and stuff from the city so that your stuff is lawful and is permitted by the county. So when I first got the home, the owners, they were very nice, gave me this huge booklet with all the stuff about the house. They also gave me one of those tubes, like shipping tubes that had all the blueprints for my home. Now, the architect needs the blueprints so they can make the changes you want, so they can submit them to get the permits, right? And when I first got the house, I had this tool with the blueprints and all these documents. I put them in my drag room. I have all the other documents. Bitch, I cannot find the fucking blueprints for the house. I don't know where I put these fucking tools. I went to storage. I went to the house, I checked, I flipped. I turned this house upside down. I cannot find the blueprints. For this house. So I was like, are you sure
D
that the, the, the, the contractor doesn't have the blueprint?
A
The contractor does not have them. Like, I remember taking them from the house, putting them in my car and bringing them inside. And I don't know, I can't remember what happened after that. And I'm very tidy. I'm very, very organized. I normally keep my stuff my shit together. I just don't know what happened with that. So I called the architect and he was like, yeah, you gotta go to the LA dbs, which is the Los Angeles Department of Building and Services and then Department of Building Services. So I went down there and they were closed, but they had one person working and she was like, okay, I can help you out with your thing. I go sit to her and she's looking at my house, what's your address? Blah, blah, blah. She's like, oh, you do not want to hear that when you're at a government federal thing.
D
Oh, she's a, Yikes, yikes.
A
I was like, what? She's like, well, the house was built in 1940s and they never submitted their blueprints to us, so we do not have any record of your blueprints. I was like, so what does that mean? And she was like, well, you're gonna have to pay a structural engineer, architect to come to your home and generate brand new blueprints for your home. Submit them to us, we can approve them, then take them back and then do the things you want to do, bitch.
D
So I, she was like, I'm sorry to tell you, but we're gonna have to demolish your house. Your house doesn't exist. Your house was illegally built. We have to demolish. And by the way, you have to pay for the demolition. I'm so sorry to tell you this, Mr. Bertnoid.
A
So this is going to, this is going to like drag things out like another month or two and it's just, it's just, it's just very annoying. I'm so irritated myself. I don't know, I'm like going to keep on looking. I just don't know where these fucking blueprints are, you know?
D
That sounds very upsetting and I can see why that would be very frustrating. And I'm sorry that you're going through all of that. That sounds very, very hard.
A
Did you get something done with your face?
D
Why are you asking me that?
A
Something looks different. I can't tell what it is.
D
Are you being serious?
A
Yes. Did you get more Botox?
D
I did get Botox.
E
Today.
A
Where?
D
On my forehead, in between my eyes.
A
Work.
D
Wait, are you being serious, bitch?
A
What do you mean, am I being serious?
D
Did Jacob text you and be like, ask Bob about his face?
A
He did not. I did not receive a message from Jacob. Jacob and I are not friends. I don't talk to Jacob when it's not work.
D
Jesus Christ. Well, how do you feel about my face? I think it looks good.
A
I really think it's good. I really. I think it looks great. You better work, diva.
D
Well, thank you. Not Monday. Calling me out on the podcast, and I can't even. This. And I can't even mention your anal bleaching, but you called me out on the podcast.
A
Wow.
D
Wow, Bob.
A
I literally have a video, a TikTok of you at the. At the place getting your face shot
D
up that you took against my will.
A
That is not.
D
I did not know you were going to be doing that, which actually gave you the idea. Honey, never forget that.
A
I actually. I thought about. I thought about getting. I wanted. I thought about say, I'm going to. I want to get a little chin. I mean, a little cheek filler just to give myself a little.
D
Okay, I will admit something to you.
A
What?
D
I got a little chin filler today.
A
No, you didn't. You would not get chin filler.
D
I did get chin filler today. I'm not kidding with you.
A
Are you. Are you. Are you being. I can't. Y'.
F
All.
A
I can't tell if when this bitch is doing a thing or not a thing.
D
Well, that's what you're seeing in my face. Cause, you know, Botox doesn't actually take effect until, like, a few weeks. What you're seeing is. I cannot believe you called me out on the podcast, Monae. This is so shady. You.
A
You. You got sophisticated. I mean, I couldn't tell what it was. It only just looked different. I couldn't tell what it was, though. It looks good, though. It's not like. I was like, girl, what happened to your face? What happened to you?
D
I'm sitting. I just sent you the pictures in the group chat. I cannot believe you just called me out on the pod in front of every.
A
Oh, my God. You better work.
D
I wanted to get a little. A little lipo on my neck. And he was like, you actually don't have a lot of fat in your neck. That's not what that is. He's like. That's actually like, muscular tissue or something. I can't remember the words he used, but he was like, you don't have enough to Suck out to constitute liposuction work.
A
Did you go to.
D
You just got me to get. I am blown away. I mean, I didn't have to tell you, but
A
that's. But honestly, if it looks good, who cares? You want it to look good. You imagine you get chin thing and people are like, anyway, you look good.
D
I come back like this. What? I had a. I had a bnl. A Brazilian necklace, neck lift where they inject fat to my neck. But no, I did get a little bit of work done today.
G
Work?
A
A little lunch hour. Did you go to Rosenbergs?
D
No, I went to this doctor over in Beverly Hills.
A
Rosenbergs is in Beverly Hills. I love Rosenbergs.
D
I'm not gonna say who the doctor is. I mean, he's great. I probably should say who he is. But I. I'm also like, if I'm going to shout you out, I want. I want a discount.
A
Absolutely.
D
Is that horrible? Like, if I'm going to shout you out, I want a discount, honey. And I paid full price for this, Ms. Mama.
A
Oh, my God. So I get.
D
Not full, but he gave me $500 off. I will say that.
A
Damn.
D
Should I say.
A
Sounds like a discount to me.
D
Should I say who? I don't know. I mean.
A
No, no, wait. People pay a lot of money for ads on this podcast, honey.
D
Well, I will say he's a lovely black plastic surgeon in the LA area, and I highly recommend him, but you'll never know.
A
Well, this is not rivalry, Bob. This is sibling advisory. We need to give. People have really been liking the advice we've been giving lately. People are feeling very helped. They think we're both giving sound advice.
D
Well, let's get into it. Since this was going to be sibling surgery for a second, let's go into.
C
Hi, Bob and Monet. I'm Charlotte, and I'm recording this from Newcastle in England, the uk. And my question is. So me and my friend Elijah are avid sibling rivalry listeners and, you know, all things associated with Bob and Monet. And we often argue over who's the Bob and who's the Monet in the friendship, I personally identify as a Bob, but he is unwilling to accept his role as a Monet. So my question is, are there any identifying questions we could ask? Anything we could really think deeply about? You know, what would you say makes someone either a Bob or a Monet? Thank you.
D
I want to start by saying you'd
A
be lucky to be a motherfucking Monet. Okay. Jesus. Jesus.
D
I want to start by saying that I really think that Elijah Is a very sexy name. Something about the name Elijah is very sexy. To me. Elijah sounds sexy.
A
I hate Elijah. I just think. I think church. I think biblical Elijah. Rock, shout, shout. Elijah rock.
D
Maybe I knew a hot Elijah, but when I think about the name Elijah, I imagine I'm gonna see someone like, sexy as hell. Okay, paint a picture of what an Elijah looks like. All right, Elijah. My friend Elijah's coming over. What does he look like? My friend Elijah's coming.
A
My friend Elijah, he is about 5, 6. He has shorts on. He has like army green shorts on. Army green cargo shorts on with like a caramel colored tank top. And he got some. Some of. Some damn. Some like Galilean Jesus sandals on.
D
You just dragging Elijah. He don't want to be a Monet. I think Elijah is about 5, 9, 5, 10, about Naomi Smalls. His complexion isn't skinny, but it's toned. Elijah. Elijah's hair is overly like Elijah. Edge up, is always on point. Elijah is a barb. Elijah's a barb. That's what Elijah looks like. Elijah's a barb. Barbs are always hot.
A
I never met an Elijah that I liked.
D
So she said, okay, well, Elijah's not gonna. Elijah will not want to be a Monet now. That's for goddamn sure.
A
We don't want Mon. We don't want him. We do not want Elijah. Elijah can be a.
D
A bobblehead Monae. See, over. Over in the nation, over at the bobbleheads, we don't act like this. We don't treat people like this. We let people come to their own conclusions. Now, I will say if you are more. I would say that I am more pragmatic than Monet is. Monet is a little bit more emotionally driven than I am. I am more deadpan. Monet is more expressive. I am a little bit colder. Monet is a little bit warmer. I will say that Monet has. Okay, Monet's probably going to read me for this one. I would say Monet has more friends, but I have. Monet has more friends, but I have fewer. And I have fewer friends. But like, me and my friends are like. It's like very, very like the friends that I do have. We're like very, very, very close. Whereas Monet is. But Monet, you're also comfortable having, like, acquaintanceships with, like, a lot more people. Like, you have a lot of acquaintances.
A
Like, I'm gagging, I'd be like, but like my. But my friends. I have. My. My friend circle is very tight. And I, I say that Pretty often. Wait, why would Jacob. I'm surprised. My friend circle is very tight. I can. I can count, like, 10, like, good, close friends.
D
10.
A
How many can you count? How many can you count, like, good, close friends?
D
I'm. I'm counting.
E
Oh,
D
Five,
A
actually. I just counted two. I'm at seven, actually. Seven tight, close friends?
D
Yeah, like, five.
A
Do you. Do you include your partner when you do that?
D
No.
A
Right. Same I was listening to.
D
Although Jacob is my friend. Jacob is a very close friend of mine.
A
Do you. Do you. Do you believe in the notion that your partner needs to be your best friend? No. Or should be your best friend?
D
No.
A
Yeah, I don't subscribe to that either.
D
I mean, realistically, Jacob probably is my best friend. Like, I talk to Jacob about everything. Jacob knows more than anyone knows about me, quite frankly. And the notion of best friend is really interesting because, I mean, I have a lot of best friends, and Jacob is definitely one of them, for sure.
A
Yeah. I think if you have a partner, I think it's impossible to not be good friends with your partner. And if you are not good friends with your partner, that's. I mean, I'm interested to see how that can function. Like, how that relationship exists. That interests me. I'm like, how. But on the Amanda Seals show, they were talking about, do men really, really love women? And then it was this guy talking about, like, how, like, yeah, I like pussy. Like, I like. Like, I like what women have, but, like, I don't like. I don't like women. And it was really interesting how I was like. Because I think this person was so wrapped up in the pro. In the. In the thought process of, like, I like. I think that this person loves companionship. They love closeness. They love these relationships with their male friends. But. But they would not call it for what it was because they don't want to seem gay or they don't want it to be, oh, oh, that's homo. And I think that.
D
I mean, I like spending time with my boys. I like reaching down on his pants, grabbing a handful of nuts and then choking on some cock. Yeah, but, like, I'm not gay.
A
Yeah.
D
I just think that I let my. I let my boy hit it from the back until I'm fucking crying like a bitch. But I'm not gay or nothing.
A
Yeah. Straight to. Should really examine that because, like, like, maybe just examine. Explore those relationships with your. These. With your. With your male friends. So what's a little homo and. And be a little gay? Honestly, everybody's. Anyway, back to Elias.
G
Yeah.
D
Elijah. Don't ever put some respect on Elijah's name.
A
Whatever his name is. Elijah's name over there in Newcastle, which I actually love. Newcastle. That's where. That's where Bob and I did our first show when we went to the uk the first time sibling rivalry went to the uk.
D
So back to Elijah, you were saying.
A
Oh, yeah, Elijah.
D
Yeah.
A
So if you are those things that Bob mentioned, even if you have those identifying Monet features, you're still a bobblehead, because monation, one thing about us, we don't play. Okay, so you go over there to be a little bobblehead.
D
What does that mean?
A
The monation. Else I would say this.
D
If you're, like, a little bit more fake and phony and you put on. You might be. You might be in the monation. If you're like. If you follow trends and you're like a following asshole, you literally.
A
You literally spend your entire day following trends on TikTok. You bitch. You're the sheeple. I ain't no sheeple, nigga.
D
Are you even. Are you even on my TikTok? Are you even on my TikTok? Yes. First of all, my TikTok is not me doing dancer trends. It's me responding. Mostly me responding to. Responding to. Sharing my opinions by other people. So clearly you don't even follow me on TikTok because my TikTok is not me. Like renegade. That's literally not even my TikTok.
A
Okay, not the dancing, but the other trends. Okay, name two. TikTok is not only about. Let me finish. TikTok is only about dancing. Kennedy just. Kennedy will. Kennedy will message us in the middle of a podcast. The last thing she do.
D
Name one.
A
I'm about to. I'm going to your page right now.
D
M. Literally doing a trend that's not a trend. I'm the first person to ever do that. Continue.
A
No, I've seen, like, three people do that.
D
You've not seen. I'm telling you right now, if you've seen anyone counting the pronouns in Herschel Walker's speech, it's after me. Check the dates. So keep trying.
A
I've been seeing it for two weeks now.
D
You have not. But. Okay, you've not seen that, but continue doing. And I promise you, you literally see no one else counting the pronouns in Herschel Walker's speeches. I literally promise you that. Find one. I will give you three weeks to find one. If you find one that's dated before mine, I will give you a thousand dollars. Okay, I'll give you three Weeks to find it, too. Three weeks.
A
Three weeks to find what?
D
One clip of someone counting their pronouns in Herschel Walker speech that is dated before mine. Three weeks. You have three weeks to find it.
A
Okay, sounds good. And I will do.
D
I will see you all in three weeks when Monet literally has no results.
A
This is a trend.
D
That's also not a.
A
That again, people using that filter was a trend.
D
Using the. I'm gonna. I use a filter, but not for the purpose that I was using it for. See, you literally have nothing to substantiate.
E
That is.
A
That is a trend.
D
Nothing to substantiate what you're saying, but
A
that is a trend.
D
Oh, look at you, Mon.
A
Hold on. Your thing just disappeared. And there's a. There's like, a little thing. I don't know if that's normal. I've never seen this before. Do you see a J?
E
That's just when the Internet is. That's just when the Internet is. The Internet is.
A
But it has, like, that. A wide circle with like. With, like, satellite things on it.
D
I don't. Is that because of your Internet or my Internet?
A
I don't know. I just.
D
Do you. Can you see me, Jacob? No, I won't.
A
I'm still here.
D
Anyway, Monet, you. I think you've proven that you don't know what you're talking about. But. But continue
A
anyway, so. Elijah.
D
Yeah.
A
Be a bobblehead bitch. We don't want you. Next question.
D
Wow, you're so. So salty. If you're salty, you're probably monetary.
E
Wait, I have a question about this Herschel Walker 1. Because you're duetting Ocean Kelly, who did it before you.
D
That's not what Ocean. What Ocean Kelly's doing is counting every time he says the word pronoun. I'm counting every pronoun he does. So try to check your facts, honey.
A
That's still. That's still a trend you're hopping on.
D
No, literally the same thing. That's like saying. No, that's not hopping on a train. Ocean is counting the time he says the word pronoun. And I'm counting the pronouns that he's saying where he says he doesn't know what pronouns are.
A
So, y' all, the Bob and Ocean Kelly literally doing the same thing. It may be.
D
We're not doing the same thing. Hold on, hold on, hold on. Okay, go ahead.
A
It may be a little different, but it's still trends. With trends, it can differ a little bit, but it's still in the same neighborhood of the trendage.
D
You're wrong, but continue anyway.
A
I think we have given enough time to one. We need to move on. We are 21, and I think what
D
you all will see is that literally every Tik Tok Mon has posted is following a trend. All right, continue.
E
Go ahead.
A
That's literally not true. Anyway, next question.
D
Jacob, our next question.
B
Hey, Bob and Monet. My name's Jacob. I'm from Des Moines, Iowa, and my pronouns are he, him. I'm looking for some advice on how to navigate being an openly gay man who works in education, particularly in elementary school. It can be difficult and really intimidating sometimes. But one thing that I struggle with is the question that kids love to ask. Why don't you have a girlfriend, Mr. Jacob? Why don't you have a wife? And I'm never really sure how to respond. Lying to them sometimes feels like I'm invalidating myself in a way, like I'm participating in keeping queerness veiled or hidden. The school district that I work for is very accepting, and I've never felt unwelcome. I'm always myself when I'm with the kids. I'm just not honest about my home life. What do you think? How would you handle this?
A
Love you.
B
Bye.
A
Ooh, that's a tough one. So working in, especially with today's current political climate, it could probably seem very tricky. And you're probably on the edge of your seat because even though your district is supportive, you don't know. So one angry, disgruntled parent can cause a scene. So that seems weird. And I think maybe at this point, because it's kindergartner, you don't want to.
D
I mean, I don't know.
A
Cause I don't want you to be. To be dishonest, but maybe just not. Are these kindergarteners, you think, or do you think it's kindergarteners coming up to him like, hey, mister, where's your wife?
D
Well, children are very, very. Ask very invasive questions. And not just kindergartners, but high schoolers ask very invasive questions. And I think you can answer honestly and say, I don't want a wife. And that is an honest answer. Or you could also say, I'm gay. I don't think gay is a bad word. I don't think. I don't think gay is a bad word. But if you don't want to say gay, you can say, well, I don't want a wife. I don't want a wife. If they ask you, why don't you want a wife? Why don't you want a girlfriend? And you can either say, well, I've just never wanted. I've never been interested in having a girlfriend. I've never been interested in having a wife.
A
Or.
D
Or you can, you know, or if you have a husband, say, I actually have a husband. I have a boyfriend, actually.
A
Yeah. I think. I think being honest about it is the. Is the way to go. And. And if your district is supportive, obviously you feel comfortable that they will not retaliate against you or try to get you fired. Something like that might not happen. But I still think you should also err on the side of. Again, as we've seen, all it takes is one angry mom or dad or sister or brother, whatever, to come into the school and cause a scene. And next thing you know, bitch, you might be a national news story. So I think leading with honesty is the right way to go. But also be prepared and maybe talk to your principal about it too. Cause the principal obviously is someone that has a lot of power and talking to the powers that be like, hey,
D
but again, I hate that role play, role play. Mr. Burton. Hey, Mr. Burton. Thank you for the quiz today. I didn't think I was gonna be able to do it, but you helped me a lot. Thank you.
A
You're welcome.
D
Valentine's Day is coming up. Do you have any. What are you gonna get your girlfriend?
A
Oh, I don't have a girlfriend, baby.
D
You don't have a girlfriend?
A
No, I have a man.
D
You have a wife?
A
I have a man.
D
What do you mean you have a. What does that mean, you have a man?
A
I have a man, honey. I have a man at home that take care of me. I don't got no lady.
D
What do you mean he takes care of you? As a reminder, I am in kindergarten, so I'd like you to tread lightly, please.
A
I have a man at home that takes care of me. I have a man who supports me and loves me.
D
When you say take care of me, why are you talk. Why is your voice doing. Giving this sultry thing like, I felt like you weren't talking like this earlier, and now you're like, talking like. It feels like. It feels like HBO after midnight. This feels like the way that rude talks in euphoria.
A
It just seems Euphoria. So why are you in kindergarten watching Euphoria? So. So your parents let you watch Euphoria? You know what? We're going to call your mama to come up here. Cause that seems inappropriate, darling.
D
Well, my mother knows that I watch Euphoria. I watch it with her. But also in kindergarten. Yes, I Am in kindergarten. And my mother knows that I watch it with her.
A
Yes, hello. Cps. Yes, her name is Olivia Glasgow.
G
Mm.
A
Yes, tomorrow. Tomorrow morning will be perfect.
D
You know, actually, I have to call someone too. Hello, Board of Education. Hi. Yeah, I asked my teacher today. I very innocently, as a reminder, I am in kindergarten.
A
Such a very big vocabulary, Olivia.
E
I.
D
Well, thank you. I am very studious, no thanks to you.
A
Are you, Are you Matilda?
D
Okay. Did you just call me a bit. Okay, I'm sorry, one second. Board of education, first of all, please mind your language when you talk to me. I am a child. I am 5 years old. All right, I'm sorry to put you on hold. Anyway, So I asked Mr. Burton about his girlfriend, and he said, I have a. And he started talking kind of like this. I'm gonna do as best as I can. Oh, I have a man, baby. I have a man at home that
A
takes care of me, baby.
D
And that is a direct quote. And I do have those conversations recorded if you need any evidence.
A
Oh, you was recorded?
D
Yeah, I was recording it. Yes. Mr. Burton.
C
Ow.
D
Ow, ow. Oh, my God. Now he's hitting me. I have to go. Monet. You handled that very poorly. You handled that very poorly. I have to say,
A
I just think, like, for real talk, in today's climate, as a teacher, I would feel very weird navigating it too. And I would want to lead with honesty, but I would just be scared that there will be some type of retaliation by maybe some other teacher in the building that is very conservative. And, Mina, you are in Des Moines. I mean, I don't know, Is Iowa blue or red state?
D
I think Des Moines flips. Iowa flips. What? Des Moines is blue pretty consistently, but.
A
Okay, so, you know, so you're in a liberal part of a conservative state, so, yeah, I probably feel safe. I just, you know, I just feel. I just, I just feel nervous. For a lot of teachers and stuff who are confronted with this, who knows?
D
All right, get me. This is my turn. You ready?
A
Okay.
G
Hello.
F
Hi.
D
Hi, Mr. TQ. Hey, I,
F
I.
D
Use your words, Kevin. I, I, I have a question. What's your question? Do you, do you have a girlfriend? Why is that so funny? If you have a girlfriend. That's very funny of you. I don't have a girlfriend. No, I do not have a girlfriend. But thank you for your inquiry about my life.
F
Why?
D
Well, you know, I actually have a boyfriend. No, but who's your girlfriend? Not your boyfriend. I don't have a girlfriend. I have a boyfriend at home. His name is Jacob. He's really nice, actually.
A
Why have a boyfriend, not a girlfriend?
D
Well, some boys have boyfriends and some girls have girlfriends and some boys have girlfriends and vice versa. You know, it. It depends on the person. No. No girlfriend. No girlfriend. Thank you for asking though, but if you know someone, I don't know, send them my way. No, I'm kidding. Don't send them anyone my way. You, you focus on your studies.
E
Mom.
D
My God. Not a little Kevin acting messy. Honey, Kevin is a mess.
A
Next question. Jacob.
F
Hey, Bob and Monet. Huge fan, first time caller. I'm one of your patrons. Went to your live shows and now I'm looking for some advice on some butt stuff. I am a straight female and my boyfriend and I have been doing a bunch of anal play for the last couple of years. He really likes having a toy up his ass and he likes when I have a strap on and he likes that kind of thing. And our anniversary is coming up and we talk about a lot of things, but it seems like we're kind of at a standstill on where we could go from here. So I just wanted you guys suggestions on maybe what I could do so that he could have a good time. So thank you for hearing me out. Have a great day. Bye.
D
Do you know that clip of. Of Beyonce performing Single Days Live? She goes, put, ladies, put your hand in his face. You know that clip? That, that, that clip of her saying that?
A
Know it?
E
Yeah.
D
Have you ever heard it before?
A
Yeah, yeah, of course.
D
I'm gonna give you this advice, lady. Put your hand in his ass.
A
This thing is the next. Is the natural progression, right?
D
Put your hand in his ass. Uh oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh.
F
What?
D
Oh. Now clap. Do you want to take this one, Mona?
A
Yeah, I think, you know, I think maybe you are pegging him currently. Have you tried. I'm assuming you have started with rimming first and rimming the shit out of him and getting him. Well, no pun intended, but rimming him and really getting that whole nice and sloppy and wet waiting for the dildo. Maybe something you can do is get a double head of dildo and. And you put one end inside of you and the other end inside of him and maybe try doing something like that.
D
Yeah. But also I do think that if you have a vagina, you really need to be careful about ass to pussy play.
A
No, no, no. I mean her. I mean her ass.
D
Okay. Okay. Yeah. Cause ass to pussy is. Is a. Is a very slippery, dangerous slope. Even if the booty hole is clean, clean, clean. Sometimes there Are trace amounts of stuff in there that you just. Or bacteria or whatever that you just don't want in your pussy. And that is on purr. But it sounds like you two are having, like, a lot of fun together.
A
You know what I mean?
D
I mean, if. If you maybe. Maybe you guys can experiment with some power play, maybe some power dynamics, maybe some role playing. Role playing can be really fun in a. In a sexual situation where you, you know, you act like different people or even you act like the same people, but within a specific scenario. Go out and meet him out in public, Send him out somewhere, and then you go meet him at the place that he's at. And then you live out this. This scenario, like, where you don't know each other. Maybe even get a hotel room. Get a hotel room and then meet at the bar downstairs randomly and then go upstairs and, like, fuck the shit out of him.
A
Yeah. And also. Also, I want you to try this position, too. I want you to.
D
He is.
A
He is on the bed on all fours, but chest is further down in the ass. So the ass is that the ass is. The ass is up more like chest hair. This is the ass. Right. And I want you to get behind him, almost like you're squatting. And you get the fucking dildo and put it. And fucking with the dildo like that. But then take your. Take one of your legs and put the leg on his head. So, like, you're really, like, you are getting rough, and you are in motherfucking control, bitch. You are Hulk motherfucking Hogan, and he is your. Your sub. And I want you to maybe really get into that. That could be really hot. Because also, that position also feels very good for anal as well.
D
Yeah. Also I do wonder what the size difference is between the two of you. Is he, like, much larger than you? Like, if you can't really physically dominate him because he's so much larger than you are, then maybe work on. Maybe consider. But also, maybe you want to be a submissive top. Maybe you want to be a completely, like, use me. I'll lay here. And you please yourself as a power bottom.
A
Can't confirm that is hot being as a miss at top.
D
So you have lots of ways that you could switch it up. Switch, hit it.
A
Switch, hit up, switch. Fucking like you're fucking his ass. And y' all just flip like, y' all flip every couple of rounds. That's hot, too. Cause y' all are both getting fucked in your ass, and y'.
D
All. Or it could be his ass, your pussy, whatever.
A
Yeah, for sure.
D
That sounds very exciting.
A
The double headed dildo. And like, both of y', all, like reverse thinking on it together. That could be very hot.
D
Please reach back out to us and let us know what you think, what your experience has been. But also, I love that you pointed out something, that you're a patron and you know, all of the people who are submitting questions are patrons. And if you would like to be able to submit a question to see if you can or some or something you need advice on, please feel free to go over and join our Patreon. You can go to siblingrivery.com support. Oh, sorry. Siblingriverypodcast.com support. Or go to Sibling. Go to Patreon and type in sibling rivalry and join the fun bitch.
A
You were acting just like your hookup, the Westin sibling rivalry.
D
We were more than just hooking up. We were kind of dating.
A
Okay, well, last time you said y' all just hooking up, we didn't know.
D
Well, we were hooking up while we were dating kind of. And it was never official, but we were kind of like.
A
And also, y' all have been doing it for y'.
D
All. I think I was more interested in him than he was into me as a real.
E
Is a real problem.
A
Y' all used to do it very often. We have not received for a while. We want y' all to go on Spotify and Apple and leave us reviews. Y' all used to be doing it real good and then y' all got real cold. Y' all got. Y' all stop.
D
To be fair, we didn't used to ask. More often.
A
We didn't used to ask. Well, I am asking. Guys, I would really love if y' all would leave us a review and give us a little five star rating. Now, if you have less than five
D
stars, mind your business.
A
Leave us to your mama. Right?
D
In fact, let's see how many reviews we have now and then we can report back to you all after this comes out and we'll see how many if y' all are making a rain on us. Honey. Right now we have 6.9, 3,000 reviews, which feels very nice. Thank you so much. That's a lot. Thank you so much for that.
A
It is a lot. Thank you, guys.
D
How many does what's the T have?
A
Oh, more than it does.
D
You think they have more?
A
Yeah.
D
What's it. We had 6.9. What's the T? Which, by the way, what's. He hasn't. Has not released a new episode in a month of Sundays.
E
I think what's the tease over?
D
Yeah, but the podcast still exists, though. Oh, it looks like they took the podcast down, too. I can't even find it anymore.
A
It's probably gone. Racechaser has 8,000.
D
Do they?
A
Yeah.
D
Damn, y'.
G
All.
D
We are getting dusted by Racechaser.
A
The Bald and the Beautiful has 8008.7.
D
Not us. Behind everyone, this is.
A
Guys, come on, y'.
F
All.
D
We look dusty and crusty as hell.
A
Also, even if it's just you send a. Send a link to your brothers. Like, send it to your family group chat and be like, everyone I know y' all don't listen. Just go ahead and just leave them five stars and say something nice. Just.
D
That is being the longest running podcast with the least reviews. This is. We are getting dragged right now, honey. Dragged. Ms. Thing.
A
Yeah. So y' all need to leave us. Come on, y'. All. Get us back out there. We're doing so well. Get us back up there. Hauling. Hauling oats. I mean, hauling.
D
I meant hall and Closet.
A
Holland. Closet.
D
Well, also hauling Closet started two weeks ago.
A
Yeah, they're. They're very new. Jinx has started really relatively new as well.
D
Yeah, yeah. No, yeah.
C
Hi.
D
Jinxing started during the pot during the pond replay.
A
Yeah.
D
What?
A
Ebony and Irony has.
D
What? What?
A
Evan. No, we have 1.4.
D
1.4. That's not bad.
A
It's pretty bad.
D
Please go support Ebony and Irony and honestly, support all these podcasts. Support Bald and the Beautiful. Support Sloppy Seconds. Support Hijink. Support hall and Closet.
A
I feel like there used to be so many of them.
D
A lot of them. Like, there's very Delta.
A
Oh, very Delta. Oh, I need to. I've been meaning to listen to Deltas, actually. I heard it's very.
D
There's the Chop.
A
There's the Chop. I don't think the Chop still puts out episodes.
D
I don't know. I'm not an avid listener of the Chop. The Reid has 25,000.
A
The Read is a very big podcast. I see.
D
Well, you know, okay, this is probably.
A
Oh, no, they do. They do. They put an episode out on December 1st.
D
This American Life has 79,000.
A
That's crazy.
D
I mean, it is literally the. It's the most popular podcast in the world, so.
A
I mean, the. Let me see how much. I mean, I don't want. He's. We're not gonna talk about him. But his was really big, too.
E
Who?
A
Joe Rogan.
B
Oh.
D
Oh, no. Joe Rogan's. Joe Rogan's podcast is crazy.
A
Okay, not on. Not on Apple.
D
Well, he's been removed from Apple.
A
No, he's still here.
D
No, that's, that's the Joe Rogan Experience Review podcast. Oh, his podcast has been removed from Apple because he couldn't stop saying nigger
A
over and over again. Ben Shapiro has a podcast. I wonder how many people. Wow. Guess. Guess how many Ben Shapiro has.
D
I mean, probably a lot. He's huge. He probably has like 100,000.
A
Bitch. 140. 1,000. That's more than this American Life.
D
I mean, Ben Shapiro is huge.
A
That is crazy.
D
All right, this is probably boring. Let's, let's. The next question, next question.
E
Wait. I actually have a question. This is based on totally something we were talking about earlier.
D
Okay.
E
Okay. So I was talking to a friend and he was telling a story about how he was hooking up with this guy. Like, over the course of a lot of time they were friends, and they were also hooking up pretty consistently. And then through some drama, which is not important to this question, they stopped, they just stopped hooking up. But they were talking about it and sort of going through their drama, and this man was like, we were dating. So what, what is dating? What's the difference between dating and a boyfriend? And do. Who gets to decide what dating is and when? Like, when does that, do you have to have a conversation about that? Can you be dating someone if they don't think you're dating them? What is, what is dating? Like, how would you define dating somebody?
A
That's interesting because you're also bringing the part of talking, so I don't think a lot of people do now, but growing up, there was dating, there was talking. Then it was, it was talking dating, then boyfriend, girlfriend, or boyfriend, boyfriend, girlfriend,
D
girlfriend, and also them friends and they bes.
A
Sure. Did you have talking, Was talking one of the phases growing up in your, in like, in like your,
D
I mean, sort of. I, I, I don't think that what you're saying is like something that used to happen and doesn't happen anymore. I think it's kind of like some people say that some people don't still. Some people say like, oh, we're talking. I think for a lot of people, talking and dating are practically the exact same thing or, or, or to levels of severity. You know, I talk. I think that for me, I think everyone defines what dating is for themselves. But for me, if you are hanging out without sex and having sex, you're. Then you're. That's, that's kind of dating. I mean, but sometimes if it is strictly. But if it's strictly On a friendship level, then I guess it's not dating. But if it. But if it's gearing toward part being partners, then for me, in my mind, if what you're doing is you're hanging out sometime without having sex, but then you also have sex, and that is.
A
It is potentially going toward people who are asexual. There are people who are asexual who hang out and they're dating. They're not having sex, but they're still hanging out. All right, I just said for me, hanging out. Oh, for you. I just said dating is hanging out in the pursuit of. In the. In the direction of being romantic with someone. Whether that be. Whether that. Whether that means sex, whether that means just hanging out, whether that means just like, you know, whatever your idea of romance is. I think that's what dating is like the space building companion. The area of building companionship with someone. Like the staircase to the escalator to building a romantic relationship with someone. And is dating for me, then what's talking? Talking is when you just. Talking is when you are. For me, it would be when I'm not having sex with that person. I'm just talking to people.
D
So what about when you're having sex with. So what is it when you're just having sex? Then
A
when I'm just like having sex? I mean, that's just hookups, okay? I'm just. Yeah, I'm not dating this guy. I'm not talking to him. We just hook up.
D
That makes sense. I could see someone saying talking, but someone else thinking that also means dating. I could see someone's idea of talking and someone's idea of dating being practically the same thing based on different people. But I agree with you. It's about toward romance. I could not see myself calling someone my partner that I've not had sex with. I could. That could never. It never be me. People who wait till marriage. That is the craziest thing I think I've ever heard of in my life. I agree.
A
I agree.
D
That is great. You're gonna marry someone and you don't even know. You don't even know what your sex is like together.
A
No, but for some people, sex.
D
For me, I'm going to. I want to. I feel like I need to say this out loud now every time I'm talking about me. I don't care what some people don't want. Whatever you do, your life is your fucking business. I could not see myself marrying someone that I have never had sex with. And I have. No. That's crazy.
A
I would have to have sex with you before we get. Bitch. I would have to have sex before we were boyfriend and girlfriend. I would have sex before we moved in. There is no way that I could. There's no way we could be boyfriends. And we have never had sex before for, like, I can't even fathom that. Like, I was like, absolutely not.
D
I agree. I think sex is the best icebreaker. I've always said that sex is the best icebreaker. If you want to start, like, cut the bullshit, have sex first and hang out for me whenever you. Whenever you, like, hang out with someone, then have sex. That should be kind of weird, the hanging out be so weird when you have sex first and then hang out. It's like, you're just, like, so chill now.
A
Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. So you're saying. You saying it's weird when you hang out first, like, go, like, going to get. Go on a date, like, go to the movies and then have sex later? That's.
D
For me. For me, that is.
A
Yeah, that's what I'm saying. I'm asking for you.
D
That's.
A
That's weird.
D
Yeah, I think it's less weird when you have sex then go out, like, have sex and then hang out with each other.
A
But what if. But what if. But okay. But what if the sex is not good? So, like, so y'.
D
All.
A
Y' all had sex. It's not good. Now y' all are hanging out. You're like, even if the sex is
D
not good, I've had bad sex, but then still be able to hang out with someone in a way that felt like fun and successful. Even if I can be friends with someone that I don't have good sex with, like, we don't have to have good sex to be friends.
A
For me, if I have had bad sex with someone and they bitch and they. And they would stay in my house and, like, hang out with me in my home. Like, just. I'm like, bitch, leave. I don't want to talk. It's weird.
D
Like, I.
A
If we have bad sex, I don't want to hang out afterwards. Unless we're. Again, if we're pursuing our. I don't know. I just. Anyone. I've. I've never had sex. I've also never been in this situation where I've had sex with someone and we are having. And we were, like, friends. They were like, hang out and became friends after that. I had. I don't think I've ever been in that situation ever.
D
I have a few Times. And I think there are also times when you, where you. There are times. What it is. I have had times where I've had sex with someone and their sex was bad, and then we didn't hang out.
A
You will. Every five seconds on this podcast, you are.
D
Because I get warm.
A
I get cold. Warm.
D
I get cold. It's the same, too. I'm just pulling up a blanket and then pulling the blanket down. I'm not, I'm not doing costume changes, Monet. This is not, there's not a Drag Race finale. Lip sync.
A
Reveal yourself.
D
But I've had scenarios where I've. Where I've had sex with someone and then we ended up hanging. Like, the sex wasn't great, and we ended up hanging out, but we found out that we're better friends than, you know, then, like, sexual partners. And I've also had scenarios where I've. Where I've hooked up with someone and, like, the sex was good, but we have no chemistry. But for. What I'm saying is that when you're having sex, so it breaks down a lot of these, like, the, the facades and the niceties and the stuff, and you get straight to kind of, for me, the personalities that you two have together because it's so intimate, and then you basically fast track yourself to, to see if you two are compatible to hang out. For me.
A
Interesting. That's very interesting. Do you, as you get older, how is, how has sex changed for you? I remember, like, when I was younger, I thought, like, to me, sex was the most important thing. Like, not the most important, but it was a very, it was like a very important function of a relationship. Like, I was like, like. But the older I get, the less I, I feel like I, I, I prioritize sex. Like, there are so many other things that I value and I care about, and sex kind of, like, gets lower and lower on that, on that, on, on my, on my list. What about you?
D
In my early years, I was having so little sex that it kind of didn't even. I just, I really wasn't having a lot of sex in my early 20s. I didn't really start, like, having a lot of sex in my late 20s and my 30s. And sex has certainly become less significant in terms of, like, whether or not I can connect with someone even romantically. I can connect romantic with someone that I don't have the best sex with, and I can have great sex. Someone that I have practically no romantic connection with at all, for sure. You know what I mean? So for me, sex is kind of its own thing in its own lane.
A
Yeah. Well, I was gonna ask you a question, but it wouldn't work out because you believe in polyamory and open relationships.
D
What's the question? Anyway, let's. For fun.
A
Okay, let's. Let's. You were in a monogamous. You were. You believe in monogamy, not polyamory. Like one. One partner, like, whatever. Like, let's say you met a partner that you. That you. You connected. Like, you connected with everything. Romance, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, and everything else. And the sex was okay. Like, would you. Could you. Could you see yourself still being with that person forever?
D
For the record, I do believe in monogamy. I'm just not monogamous. I don't. Not believe in monogamy.
A
What I said. When. I said. I meant for you, for, like, for your life, for your relationship.
D
If I was with. If I was the kind of person who only believed in having sex with one person ever. That's so weird. That is. Can I just say to me, my, my.
A
You're.
D
I have a hard time wrapping my brain around, like, why, why. Why do I need to be with one? Like, why? Why? For me, why?
A
Play real role play. The person I'm asking does not feel that the person, like, yes, monogamy.
D
All right, we got. We got to. We got to do a role play. You got to hit me with the quote. You got. We got to. We got to do it. We got to go into a scene. I got to be a character hitting with it. I'm in a scene. Are you my partner or are you afraid to ask me about a partner? Who are you in this scene?
A
No, I am. No, you are the person you're asking.
D
I know we have to do a scene, but who are you to me in this scene? Are you my partner or are you a friend?
A
I'm a friend.
D
Okay, let's. And action. Hey, Mo.
F
Hey.
A
So I heard you told me that you and Calvin are hitting it off.
D
Yeah, we're dating. Yeah, we've been together for about a year and a half now, actually. Yeah.
A
And how are things going?
D
Oh, Kevin is great. Like, he's. He's. He's probably my best friend. He's so fun. I love being around him.
A
Okay. And how's the sex?
D
Solidly middle of the road. Solidly middle of the road? Yeah. Gotta be honest.
A
And, like, how does that make you feel?
D
Well, I. As you know, I strictly believe in monogamy. Magic of laughing and. Sex is. Sex is very important to me because of how monogamous I am. So I think I'm just gonna have to maybe try to spice up the thing. Like, for example, he doesn't want to. He doesn't want to top ever. Like, ever. And I'm like, well, that means a lot to me, being top everyone, even if not every day. Everyone wants in a while. So I'm just gonna have to ask him if he's open to experimenting some more, because I want to be with him and I want to have fun with him, and I want to. And I want to have a good. A healthy sex life, too.
A
So let's say he doesn't want to do any of that. And is that a deal breaker or you think I will break up?
F
Or.
D
I think that if he. If he says no to that, then I might have to. We might have to get some professional help. Like some sort of a sex counselor or a relationship counselor.
A
Yeah.
D
Because I deserve to. I deserve to have the things I want in life.
A
Well, you know, you should. You should teach him that thing that you used to do with your last morphin, that, like, suckly celebrity thing. He'll probably really love that.
D
I could teach him. But if he's. But. But what about. What about the stuff that I want for me and. You know what I mean, like, we'll see. I'll check in with him.
A
All right, cool. I'll call you next week and get an update.
D
All right, thank you.
A
I'm heading to an orgy right now with some. Some of my friends, so I gotta go.
D
Oh, nice, nice, nice.
A
Yeah, yeah, we're having, like, a lot of sex. Like, it's a bunch of us having, like, a lot of really good sex.
D
Like a lot of people. I don't believe that. I do not believe. One person. One person at a time.
A
Well, you know, I'll see you at church on Sunday.
D
I'll see you there. Praise the Lord, Heavenly father.
A
Yeah, I'll bring the orgy with.
D
Blessed be.
A
Blessed be the fruit. Nigga, you not in a Handmaid's Tale.
D
This is our scene. Mona, you can't. I was in our scene. I was in Handmaid Tail,
A
Not Jacob cracking up, laughing in the background. That was hilarious.
D
Well, as you know, I strictly believe in monogamy. Are you still strictly about monogamy?
A
What do you mean? Like, in my relationship with it currently?
D
No, just your. Your beliefs. Do you. Are you. For you. Are you like. I am a monogamous person. I don't want anything else. No.
A
So I've always done this podcast many Times I've evolved a lot on monogamy and Oprah relations. When I first, when we started, I guess when we first started this podcast I was like, it was like our second episode.
D
We had Noah and Amadeus.
A
Amadeus. And they were talking about their open relationship and stuff like that. And I was guffawed. I was like, bitch, no, that is crazy. And as we've gotten older, I still believe in monogamy. But, but I do think that every relationship has its own rules. And I think that if a couple is experiencing, I mean is having open conversation with each other and that dialogue is judgment free and they are free to talk about that stuff, I think that relationships will grow and change and maybe they can lead to periods. I was listening to the Dan Savage's podcast and he was talking about how with his husband they were monogamous for like five years and they were open for seven years and they closed it again and they opened it up. So I think that relationships with will grow and change. I don't believe that you can the same person forever and be happy. I don't believe that. I don't think that you can find the one person and have sex with them for the until for the rest of your life. Happy.
D
You well, someone can.
A
People can allegedly them be cheating.
D
You don't think you could, you could one person for the rest of your life?
A
I do not think that you've really changed a lot.
D
I have to not on that.
A
But yeah, you now, now Bob want to get married. Bob want to. Bob want to do his fucking wedding tour. Atlanta, New York, Louisiana. You might want to do a fucking, you might want to do a wedding tour now. But yeah, I don't think I, I, I cannot, I, I think it's impossible
D
quickly say fuck one person from tomorrow. That the reason I want to do what Monet calls a wedding tour is to make it easier for people to have to go everywhere. And not everyone can travel more. Monet. Jesus Christ.
A
Yeah, but you could, I think you can do it in Atlanta. Atlanta is a very nice city and you can get a big ass venue. Especially because Atlanta is important, obviously, because Ms. Martha is down there and you want to make it definitely accessible for her. But bitch niggas be doing their weddings in Bali, in Mexico. People can travel to Atlanta for your fucking wedding.
D
What about people in New York who can't travel for fiscal reasons? Like who for fiscal reasons?
E
I don't know.
D
What if I have a couple of friends who are like, I don't have the money to travel, Bob.
A
First of all you said.
D
I'm not gonna shout out my poor friends.
A
You said that you and Jacob collectively are having 50 people at your wedding. That's 25 each. The 25 friends that I know you're. You're inviting, they all can fucking pay. And they can come and travel down to la.
D
You don't know their lies. What about their schedules?
A
I don't know.
D
What about their schedules, huh? What about that? Anyway, what about the friends of mine who. What about the friends of mine who are under house arrest and can't leave their houses, huh? How about the ones on probation who can't leave the state? What about those people?
A
First of all, Honey Davenport that expires next year. She will be able to travel.
D
What about the friends of mine who are on the no fly list who can't fly? What about them?
A
Kim Chi. That was lifted last month. She's good.
D
Okay, well, then I guess we're going around. Would you invite Kim to your wedding?
A
Of course I would invite Kim.
D
Okay.
A
Ooh, do you want to play something a little. Do you want to be a little shady?
D
Yes. Immediate.
A
Yes. I take. We'll do, like, a little break.
D
Can I say real quick, just so you know, my forehead, like, last time, I got Botox, I was frozen. Like, I was frozen, bitch. I was Elsa. But now we did lighter, so it kicks in about a week, so we're gonna find out what it's like.
A
Why'd you go lighter this time? Last time was great.
D
Well, the doctor was like, you don't necessarily want to be frozen. You should experiment. He goes, you can always add, but you can't take away. Otherwise, you have to just wait for
E
it to wear off.
A
Okay. Wait, Jacob, you're.
E
We're near the end of the episode, so let's make this Patreon exclusive.
A
Okay? This will be a Patreon exclusive. Bob and I, we're gonna write down our. Jacob, you're staticking. Bob and I are gonna write down. We should write down who is invited to our wedding.
D
Oh, my God. Write down who invited. So messy. Yes, this is very messy.
A
Write down who you invited to your wedding, all your friends, and if you. And then. Well, who you're inviting. Oh, let's say our guest list. You said 25 people. Who are the 25 people you're bringing to your. You're inviting to your wedding?
D
And this includes family?
A
Yes. You said 25. Do you want to make up a different number?
D
No, I'm gonna have 25.
A
Work. All right. Amen.
D
All right, well, we Will see y'.
F
All.
A
We answered two and a half questions.
D
Do we do one more before we go? Do one more.
A
Let's do one more quick. Jake.
D
We'll do it quickly.
A
Annie Dickle do.
D
Jacob said, Andy dickledoo. Andy. Andy Dickle do is what it is.
A
Andy. Andy. Andy. Andy Dick be doing. So I.
D
Did Andy listen to our podcast when
A
he's mentioned, like, some narcissistic, shady bitch. Oh, God.
D
All right.
A
Oh, Jacob, listen. I was gonna say. I was gonna. Well, what? I wasn't. I was. Wait, Jacob, pause really quick. Jacob. I mean, Jacob, you mute. So now that you're separated from your. One of your partners.
D
Oh, I don't want to be messy. I don't want to be messy about my partner.
A
It's not messy. It's not messy. But we talk about, like, our partners listening. The episode that your partner was that Ezra was on his podcast, and we discovered that he did not listen. I thought that was very. It was a very funny moment. We did discover that.
D
All right, let's move on.
A
But Andy's not listening.
D
All right.
G
Hi, Bob and Monet. So astrology and really any kind of spirituality makes me really uncomfortable. And it seems like, like, especially when I'm in sort of queer or female spaces, people talk about astrology all the time. And in the context of really serious things like mental health and relationship problems, am I being really disrespectful if I say that that kind of stuff makes me uncomfortable? Or is there. Am I just ruining people's fun? I don't know. Like, how can I toe the line there? Thanks.
A
My religion. You want to go?
D
I don't know that. I don't know that astrology is a religion.
A
Well, she said astrology and spirituality,
D
and I think I feel like the word spirituality is kind of like a counter to religion. People say it, like, as if they're like. Like people are like. People say the word, I'm not religious, I'm spiritual. That's like, a phrase people say all the time. I'm not religious, I'm spiritual. That's, like, a very common phrase.
A
What do you think spiritual means?
D
I don't really know what spiritual means to everyone, but I do know that the phrase I'm not religious, I'm spiritual is a very, very common phrase that I hear a lot. Have you never heard that before?
A
I think maybe I've heard it before, but say it's a common phrase I hear often. No, but I definitely have heard it before. For sure.
D
I hear it a lot. But maybe you're around more religious people, and I'm around more spiritual people. Maybe that's what it is.
A
Maybe.
D
I mean.
A
I mean, really quick answer. No, you are. Who cares if information uncomfortable and someone is going off on and on about, oh, well, like, as a Gemini, like, I just feel like you. But, like, you. You are entitled to say, this really makes me uncomfortable. I really don't like to talk about this. Can you. I mean, especially. They're talking at it to you. Because people who believe in horoscopes and astrology and shit, they love going off about. About, oh, you're a cancer, right? Cancers used to always. They love doing that shit. I think you're well within your rights. You'd be like, actually, I don't really like talking about astrology. It makes me uncomfortable. So can we talk about something else and, like, shift the conversation? I think you're well within your right to do something. You should not feel bad about it. You should not feel like you're shading them about it. You're. You're being honest about how you feel about it.
D
I think that. And because I know people who are really into the zodiac. I mean, like, they're obsessed with the zodiac, and they will sometimes. They will often use that to explain why they don't talk to people, why they think they would never be friends with someone. They'll use it to say a lot of different things about, like, their relationships with other people. And I do think that it's okay for you to say, I don't really know much about those idiots. I prefer not to talk about it. Or for you to say, you know, I don't really believe in. That I don't really believe in. There's nothing wrong with saying, you don't think. You don't have to be nasty about it, but it's okay to be like, I don't really believe in the zodiac. And, you know, I believe that people are the way they are because of their lived experiences, not because of where the sun was when they were born. You know?
A
Yeah.
D
So that's. That's my opinion on that. Because they have no qualms talking to you about their feelings and telling you, like, you know, talking to their beliefs about you. And I'm someone who. I don't get uncomfortable about religion and spirituality and zodiacs, but I don't believe in any of it. And I do feel comfortable telling people I don't believe it, quite frankly.
A
Yeah. I think if you want to be very honest about your feelings, be like, this makes me uncomfortable. I rather not talk about that. I think that's. That's completely fine and well within your right to do so, darling. Abs.
D
So Monet and I are going to put our wedding guest list over on the Patreon. If you want to find out if you want to find out if you got invited, come over to the Patreon,
E
But.
Date: December 12, 2022 | Hosts: Monét X Change & Bob the Drag Queen
This episode of Sibling Rivalry features Monét X Change and Bob the Drag Queen dishing out their trademark comedic advice to listener-submitted questions about dating, relationships, and sexuality—with plenty of humor, personal anecdotes, and playful bickering. The show’s tone is lighthearted yet candid, with the duo offering personal perspectives on topics from lost house blueprints to open relationships, “pegging” in straight partnerships, workplace queerness, astrology, and how their personalities differ. As always, much of the fun is in their banter and unscripted chemistry, peppered with moments of sharp wit and sincerity.
Contrasting Traits:
Advice:
Advice & Suggestions:
Advice:
On Bob’s cosmetic work:
Listener questions about teacher honesty:
Pegging fun:
Personality differences:
Dating definitions:
On monogamy vs. open relationships:
| Segment | Timestamp (MM:SS) | |-------------------------------------------|----------------------| | Warning: Not Actual Advice | 00:42–01:30 | | Losing Blueprints / Adulting Frustration | 03:42–06:11 | | Cosmetic Enhancements: Botox/Fillers | 06:11–09:59 | | Listener Q1: Bob or Monet “Type” | 10:59–21:41 | | Listener Q2: LGBTQ+ Teacher Dilemma | 21:47–27:49 | | Listener Q3: Pegging/Dating Advice | 29:33–34:24 | | Discussion: Podcast Reviews/Rival Shows | 34:56–39:44 | | Defining Dating/Relationship Terms | 39:44–46:34 | | Sex & Relationship Priorities Over Time | 46:34–54:17 | | Monogamy, Open Relationships Reflection | 52:03–54:17 | | Final Q: Astrology/Spiritual Boundaries | 57:44–61:10 |
This episode is a classic Sibling Rivalry mix: wild tales of everyday mishaps, candid chats about beauty standards, sex, queerness at work, and relationships—always filtered through Bob and Monét’s unfiltered, deeply funny, and uniquely insightful lens. Whether playfully sparring over TikTok trends, roleplaying awkward teacher conversations, or dishing real talk about monogamy, they offer not just entertainment, but an affectionate portrait of queer friendship and community.
Memorable closing: If you want to see Bob and Monét’s actual wedding invite lists, join the Patreon!