Sibling Advicery: Rumors/Reunions

Summary

Podcast Summary: Sibling Rivalry

Episode: Sibling Advicery: Rumors/Reunions

Release Date: December 5, 2022
Hosts: Monét X Change & Bob the Drag Queen

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Episode Overview

In this raw, uproarious advice episode of the beloved comedy podcast Sibling Rivalry, drag superstars Monét X Change and Bob the Drag Queen tackle anonymous listener questions in their signature irreverent style. The duo riffs on everything from internet rumors to hook-up secrets, queer parenting, and the delicate art of setting boundaries. With classic Sibling banter, drag race references, intimate stories, unsolicited opinions, and lots of laugh-out-loud moments, they offer a mix of heartfelt advice and playful chaos—for entertainment purposes only.

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Key Discussion Points & Notable Moments

1. Legal Disclaimer & Tone Setting

• [01:11-02:00]
  • Monét and Bob clarify: "We are not doctors... take none of this seriously. This is for entertainment purposes only." (Bob, 01:25)
  • Sets tone of jokey-but-real conversations and marks a boundary between advice and comic relief.

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2. RuPaul Lyric Shenanigans & Misheard Lyrics

• [02:13-07:35]
  • Monét dramatically recites "Cool It Down" lyrics; Bob deadpans a robot-like reading for comic effect.
    • “Cool it down, my pretty. Cool it down, down, down, my pretty but bad bitchy make a bad bitch glitchy.” (Bob, 02:59)
  • The duo debates Drag Race song lyrics misheard by queens ("Ashton Sorrow," "Toodaloo").
  • RuPaul’s raunchy lyrics read out loud; Monét jokes about picturing her mom spitting lyrics like "Bust my pussy nut while I'm fingering your butt..." (Monét, 07:09)
  • Discussion about Lil Kim and the policing of Black women artists for sexually explicit lyrics.
    • "Lil Kim was really... they were fucking trying to crucify this woman for just singing and rapping about what she likes to fucking do with her body." (Monét, 07:52)

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3. Celebrity Hookups, Gossip, and NDA Talk

• [08:47-14:12]
  • Bob ponders the discretion of RuPaul’s rumored sex life, NDAs, and compares notes with Monét about their own hookup rumors.
    • "I'd be like, who be out here fucking RuPaul and is not telling anyone?" (Bob, 08:53)
  • Producer Jacob dives into Reddit lore, revealing stories about Detox and Willem, while Bob and Monét compare “types.”
  • Monét shares a spontaneous bathroom hookup story; Bob teasingly interrogates for details.
  • Joke banter about being monogamous (Monét) and polyamorous (Bob).

---

4. Advice Segment: Fitness Motivation

• [15:41-19:52]
  • Listener seeks workout motivation; Bob admits to hating the gym, only going when a trainer expects him:
    • "I don't like going to the gym... the only reason I worked out was because I said I was gonna meet my trainer." (Bob, 17:21)
  • Monét details three motivations: "I like going with my partner, balancing how much junk I eat, and vanity—I like how I look naked when I work out." (Monét, 16:06)
  • A playful back-and-forth about step counting, with Bob admitting, “I count my steps every day” (Bob, 18:55).

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5. Advice Segment: Handling Rumors

• [20:12-26:01]
  • Caller Jay asks for advice on addressing someone spreading rumors.
  • Bob suggests direct confrontation with empathy:
    • "Say what you see, say how you feel, say what you want... I can't believe I'm still saying that years later, now I'm teaching adults." (Bob, 23:41)
  • Monét notes the importance of context and maturity: "If it's a rumor that's bothering you—the person should still stop it... bring it up if it's festering." (Monét, 25:01)
  • Anecdote about past rumors impacting reputations in Drag Race circles.

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6. Petty Responses & TikTok Revenge

• [26:01-28:04]
  • Bob describes a TikTok on creative non-confrontational breakups for cheaters: “Make a list of all the things they love about themselves... then say, ‘You're not a good person, you’re not a good friend...’ and leave. I fucking love that!” (Bob, 27:23; Monét, 27:40)

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7. Boundaries, Closure, & Moving On

• [38:07-42:33]
  • Listener Brian from Harlem asks about restructuring friendships or romantic relationships and setting boundaries.
  • Monét: “Bring up boundaries when you notice them, before resentment builds—if you wait too long, it could be catastrophic.” (Monét, 39:33)
  • Bob shares that sometimes you realize friendship is only sustained by shared work; setting boundaries can alter or even end relationships: “Turns out, the work was actually what was keeping our bond.” (Bob, 41:31)
  • Both wish they’d learned boundary-setting earlier in life.

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8. Advice Segment: “Identity Theft” Jealousy

• [44:55-50:17]
  • Caller accuses ex’s new girlfriend ("Tubby") of “stealing” her identity—friends, vacations, interests.
  • Monét challenges her focus, noting, “You're really obsessed with what your ex is doing, girl... maybe try to get closure so you can move on.” (Monét, 47:41)
  • Bob points out possible projection: “She might actually enjoy Drag Race! ... Find closure; it’s not your business what she posts unless it’s harassment.” (Bob, 48:41)

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9. Advice Segment: Sex with Another Couple

• [29:09-35:11]
  • Jay Black asks how to initiate a foursome with another couple.
  • Monét: “Just invite them over... think of a slick way to do it, Netflix and chill!” (Monét, 30:37)
  • Bob prefers explicit intentions: “Let them know why they’re coming over before they come over—nothing unsexy about directness.” (Bob, 34:17)
  • Both note logistical realities for gay sex (douching, prep).

---

10. Advice Segment: Queer-Friendly Parenting

• [54:55-63:15]
  • “Gay Mama Bear” wants advice on raising kids in a queer-affirming home (gender-neutral names, safe environment).
  • Bob suggests androgynous names: “Taylor, Sydney, Shannon, Lee, Sam…”
  • Personal reflection: “I was often told boys can’t cry; that didn’t feel good. Let your kids know they don’t have to abide by gender norms.” (Bob, 57:53)
  • Monét and Bob recommend letting children choose colors/toys/clothes, not enforcing gender or racial norms.
  • Monét: “Give them different Barbies and sets of players... not just gender, but also culturally.” (Monét, 61:05)

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Notable Quotes

• “This is just for entertainment purposes only. Do not take this as sound advice to take into the world.” — Monet (01:40)
• “I don’t believe in telling kids they can be anything; that leaves out a lot of nuance.” — Bob (57:53)
• “Turns out, the work was actually what was keeping our bond—we didn’t realize that without the work, we didn’t really have a friendship.” — Bob (41:31)
• “Bring up boundaries when you notice them, before resentment builds.” — Monet (39:33)
• “If you have not gotten over the relationship... and you still find yourself looking into what vacations he’s going on, who his current girlfriend is watching—do some work to get closure.” — Monet (47:41)

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Timestamps for Important Segments

• 01:11 – Episode intro, legal disclaimer, and tone
• 02:13 – RuPaul lyrics and Drag Race references
• 08:47 – Celebrity hookup stories; NDA speculation
• 15:41 – Fitness/motivation advice
• 20:12 – Caller Jay: handling rumors/mature confrontation
• 26:01 – Petty responses to breakups; TikTok revenge scenario
• 38:07 – Boundaries and restructuring relationships
• 44:55 – Caller on jealousy over “identity theft” by ex’s girlfriend
• 29:09 – Initiating group sex with another couple
• 54:55 – Queer parenting and gender-neutral names

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Wrap-Up

Sibling Rivalry delivers gut-busting laughs and surprisingly heartfelt, practical advice—even when wrapped in NSFW punchlines and pop culture references. If you want advice with a side of authentic queer camaraderie—or just to feel like you're kiki-ing in the green room at a drag show—this episode is quintessential Sibling Rivalry.

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Note: This summary intentionally skips advertisements, promos, and intro/outro banter.

Transcript

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[Monet X Change]

Hey, y', all, it's Monet X Change.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

My name is Bob the Drag Queen, and this is Sibling advice. Now listen, we know that we are not doctors.

[Monet X Change]

Not even a little bit.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

We're not therapists. We are not psychologists.

[Monet X Change]

We don't know much about algebra.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Psychiatrist. If you need advice, please go to your doctor, your rabbi, your priest, your shaman, your teacher, your psych, your therapist. This is just for entertainment purposes only.

[Monet X Change]

Yes, everything we're saying is. Is for use in this podcast only. Do not take this as sound advice to take into the world to. To. To remedy your issues. If you have. Do not take any of this seriously. This is for entertainment purposes only. And we don't want anyone to feel like we are diagnosing them, that we can give them a prognosis on life.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

So with that in line, let's get into some advisory.

[Caller 1]

Any

[Monet X Change]

sec, Bob.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

One sec, one sec, one sec.

[Monet X Change]

Oh, my God. Oh, my God. I have to tell you something really important.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

All right. What do you want to tell me?

[Monet X Change]

Cool it down, down, down my pretty ba B Bad, bad bitchy been a bad bitch glitchy Fine, fine, fine, fine, fine, fine, fine, fine Liberated liberty like we ain't got time Yada yada, yada yada yada yada yada I got a bump, bump Bouncing on that ass Bounce on that ass Cool it down, down,

[Bob the Drag Queen]

down like a da that's heated from. I googled it. That's heated from the new album.

[Monet X Change]

Did you really Google it in that time? Which words did you google specifically? That Got it.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Cool it down my pretty.

[Monet X Change]

When you say it's so sterile like that. It really. When you said it's so sterile. Cool it down, my pretty Cool it down, my pretty but bad, bad bitchy make a bad bitch glitchy.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Want me to read it like that? Okay, cool it down, down, down, my pretty but bad bitchy make a bad bitch glitchy Fine, fine for fine for fine, fine, fine Liberated living like we ain't got time it sound like how. Like. Like how someone's mom would read it back to them. This what you've been reading at school? This what? This what y' all call. This is what y' all call music today. Calm it down, down, my pretty Back in my day, we had lyrics, bitch.

[Monet X Change]

This is how we read lyrics when we are doing watchery. We're like, her name was Ashton Sorrow and now it's blasted in lights. Her name was Show.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Her name was. Her name is. Her name was Echesaro, but now her name is Blast the Delight. That is my favorite. Her name was Echosaro. Echasaro used to work at Barracuda. Anyway, she changed her drag name. Her name is now Blast of the Light. She's on. She's on. That's the girl who goes from Dragula to Drag Race on Dragula. Her name is Echesaro.

[Monet X Change]

Drag Race.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

She got on Drag Race and her name is now Blast of the Light.

[Monet X Change]

This is my story. I've been telling people this story and now I can't remember. You probably remember better than me. Cause my memory's so fucked up. Who thought that about whose lyrics that it was Ashton? I think it was Naomi. Thought it was Ashton's.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

No, I joked. I knew what it was. The whole time. I just kept joking that her name was Echo Sorrow. And now it's blasted alive.

[Jacob (Producer/Moderator)]

Monet is thinking of Naomi Smalls thinking to the moon was Toodaloo.

[Monet X Change]

No. Oh, my God, there's so many things here.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

No.

[Monet X Change]

Somebody On All Stars 4 thought that the lyrics were. Her name was Ashton Sorrow and now it's blasted in light. Like they thought Asia was saying, my name was like her boy name. My name was Ashton Sorrow. But now it's blasted Delight. I think it was Naomi. We were like on. We were at All Stars from All Stars, and she was like. She was like, what a weird lyric. And I was like. Cause the all stars, the season 10 finale had just happened and we were talking about it, like when we were there, and she's like, what a weird lyric. And she was like etched in sorrow. And I was like, no, she said her name was etched in Sorrow

[Bob the Drag Queen]

her name was etched in sorrow but now it's blasted in light Didn't Naomi also

[Jacob (Producer/Moderator)]

think it was Toodaloo?

[Monet X Change]

I thought it was Toodaloo.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I thought it was Monet. Toodaloo.

[Monet X Change]

I thought it was Toodaloo.

[Brian]

Toodaloo.

[Monet X Change]

Cause it was at the end of the episode to say, like, toodaloo. Like, RuPaul was like, bye. Just like RuPaul said, bitch. RuPaul's song, the fucking lyrics for motherfucking Bring Back My Girls. She going back to the workroom, rethink her life. Vodka and Kurt. I was like, oh, my God. God, bitches.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Very aggressive lyrics. Yeah.

[Monet X Change]

Bring back my girls.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Bring back my girls. Where they at?

[Monet X Change]

Vodka and cranberry. Thank you, dog girl, y' all thought you lost and found Mamaroo about to show you who you was before you went and lost your mind Bring back my Girls.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I really did enjoy. There's a chunk of RuPaul's lyrics from.

[Gay Mama Bear]

From.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

The song is called which is what they Want, that I really appreciate. I want to find the lyrics so that I don't get them wrong. Hold on, I want to read them. I'm pretty sure I know them. Hold on one second.

[Monet X Change]

Also, Catitude by RuPaul is really everything.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Just what they Want lyrics.

[Monet X Change]

All right.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

The lyrics that get me are, when she goes. Here it is. You know, I'm looking for the bitch who wants to walk. Looking for the bitch with the pussy that wants the pop. Especially when the pop severe, better tuck the jock Making it appear to the kitty could drip the drop. I don't know why I love that lyric so much. Making it appear as if the kitty could drip the drop. Shit, that pussy got a little wet.

[Monet X Change]

Can we read? I want to read Catatou. It's my favorite.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

RuPaul goes, Rise, shine,

[Monet X Change]

ride, shine Clock himself pussy time Bust my pussy nut while I'm fingering your butt Do I suck dick? You ain't seen shit Throw a seed on Watch you slide down my throat yeah, my pussy fine, I pop it cause it's mine. I don't give a fuck if they call me a slut what I do with a dick Elect me president Put tears in his eyes when I milk a brother Drax when RuPaul was 59.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Okay? Older people have sexuality, too, Monet.

[Monet X Change]

I know. I'm just saying. I'm trying to think. So that is about the age of my mom. Imagine my mom writing this. These lyrics. I'm like, ma, no.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Well, if your mother was engaging in some of this before 59. I mean, I bet you could imagine Lil Kim doing the at 59.

[Monet X Change]

I did. I just thought. I just wanted. And I know this is advice for you. Last thing I want to say. Bob has something to say, too. I just saw this interview of Lil Kim on Geraldo, or maybe it was Jenny Jones or some daytime talk show back then in the 90s. And it's like, oh, all these Christians, all these, like, moms, all these, like, rabbis, like, coming at Lila Kim, talking about how, like, black women, like, somehow how these lyrics are really causing violence against women and black women, and she ought to be ashamed of herself. How can she. How can she sit up here and smile and have. And I was like, oh, my God, Lil Kim was really bitch. They were fucking trying to crucify this woman for just singing and rapping about what she likes to fucking do with her body. Like, that is crazy. I was like, this is crazy.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Well, you know, ahead of our time, I think.

[Monet X Change]

Really?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Truly. I think I was thinking about it other day. I don't know why I was thinking about this, but, like, I was, like, hooking up with someone and, you know, hookup stories about he never surfaced. No one's ever like, I had sex with Bobby Drag Queen and this, this, this. And people are more discreet in the world because I make the rounds. And I was thinking to myself, because RuPaul talks about how she be hooking up and having sex to this day still. And I'd be like, who be out here fucking RuPaul and is not telling anyone. And how have you not told anyone?

[Monet X Change]

Maybe he's not talking about it right now. Meanwhile, maybe he's talking about former times in his life.

[Jacob (Producer/Moderator)]

I think when you get to that level, also, you get people to sign NDAs.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

But do you think RuPaul's just fucking and just not like. I don't think RuPaul just stopped fucking because she's in her 60s, not fucking.

[Monet X Change]

But maybe RuPaul got a. RuPaul probably got that steady rotation. Maybe at this point, RuPaul got, like, these six trustworthy niggas that when RuPaul wants some dick or he want some booty or whatever he want. RuPaul's like, I'm flying you out to LA. The jet is like, Jacob RuPaul got that rotation that he get.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Has any stories surfaced about you? Have you seen anyone online being like, I fuck Monet and here's what. And here's. And I live to tell the story?

[Monet X Change]

No, no, they haven't. But one. And so do you get around. I used to. Now I am currently in a monogamous situation.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

We get it. Oh, my God.

[Monet X Change]

We get it.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Not every episode.

[Monet X Change]

Oh, my God.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I haven't anything with any. I know my.

[Monet X Change]

You asked me, oh, you will bring

[Bob the Drag Queen]

up that you're monogamous every week if.

[Monet X Change]

Yeah, Mr. Mr. Mr. Mr. Poly. I didn't know Poly Molly.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I don't bring up every episode. You be bringing up every episode. You be like, you and your boyfriend. And we get it. You are monogamous. We know. Crazy you figured out anyway.

[Monet X Change]

But I will say one time I was before, when I first moved to la, I was rooting for my LA fantasy and bitch, I was with someone and we went to a bathroom at a restaurant. Well, I went to go to the bathroom and they went like. I excused myself and said, I'm gonna use the restroom. And they're like, oh, I'm gonna go too. And I didn't. I'd never used the restroom at this place before. So I'm thinking it was like a bathroom with like multiple stalls, but it was a one stall bathroom. And the person came to the bathroom with me. We both had a few drinks at dinner and they were like. They were like one thing. So I like, was like. I was like, oh, there's only one stall in here. And they're like, still. And they closed it all. Locked it. Bitch. Pull my dick down. Started sucking my dick in the bathroom.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Do I know this person?

[Monet X Change]

Do you know them?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

That's the question.

[Jacob (Producer/Moderator)]

Okay, I'm on a Reddit.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Wait, wait, wait, wait. Free. I wanted to answer this question. Yeah, I know who this is.

[Jacob (Producer/Moderator)]

Mm.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Like, personally like, well, bitch, what does that.

[Monet X Change]

If you know them. Yes, you do.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Who did that?

[Jacob (Producer/Moderator)]

Is it.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Did Andy do this?

[Monet X Change]

No, no, no, not Andy.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Were you dating this person?

[Monet X Change]

No, I was not.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Is this the same person that tried to suck your dick at the Abbey? You want.

[Gay Mama Bear]

Oh,

[Bob the Drag Queen]

yes. Well, you actually hooked up with it. No, Bob, we'll talk about this offline.

[Monet X Change]

You brought it up.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I didn't bring it up. You brought it up.

[Monet X Change]

That's. That's all I wanted to say. That's all. We'll talk. We'll talk about the rest of the. Because now, Bob, this is how Bob does be like. Okay, all right, all right, last question. Monet and were you on the same season with them? Okay, okay, great.

[Gay Mama Bear]

All right.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

You see, you brought all that up.

[Monet X Change]

No, I'm just. I'm just saying different things, but I was like, okay, and you went to high school too.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

But I didn't I did not bring this up. You brought this up. This is all you. All right. Jacob's on Reddit.

[Jacob (Producer/Moderator)]

Yes. So I'm looking at a Reddit thread from eight years ago, so keep in mind it's dated. There are stories mainly about three queens, a few about Jujube, and then the two who have the most stories are Detox and Willem, which, honestly.

[Monet X Change]

Well, Willem, I'm not surprising. Detox, not surprising.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Getting around that. That scans.

[Monet X Change]

That scans, yeah. Oh, for sure.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

100%. Well, you know what? Good for them. Maybe. Maybe we thought we got around, but we really don't. Maybe we thought we was hoeing and these hoes is ho wing. I will say I did want to hook up with a guy who, like, during sex, is like, it was getting ready. He goes. And just so you know, I don't. I'm not, like, I'm not, like, nervous. I fuck Detox or Detox fucked me. He's like, I. Detox fucked me, like, two weeks ago. So, like, I'm not nervous around Drag Race girls.

[Jacob (Producer/Moderator)]

Have either of you ever hooked up with the same person?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

No, not to my knowledge.

[Monet X Change]

I don't think Bob and I have the same person. Bob and I just have different types, though. Like, you know, I like. I like. I like bigger, beefier. Bobby, like, bigger, beefy. I like. I like guys beefy. Just be clear, because I am a big. I'm a big lady, so I need big and beefy to be clear.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I have a very wide palette.

[Monet X Change]

I mean. Yes, you do. But you said all the time, you don't want to be like, you like, you. You like Monet. You like. You like the big beefy. That's literally what you be saying to me.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Yeah, but I didn't say I don't. That's a different. I'm saying what you like. You're saying what I don't like.

[Monet X Change]

I'm Kiana and I leveled up my business with Shopify. Once I figured out that Shopify was a thing, I never turned back. I can create a site with my eyes closed. Shopify thinks ahead of us, you know, and it thinks about the customer more than anything. Every day, I'm thinking about some other new business, but Shopify is doing it to me because it's so easy to use. It's like, I can't stop. I'm addicted. Start your free [e-mail].

[Gay Mama Bear]

close your eyes. Exhale.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Feel your body relax, and let go

[Gay Mama Bear]

of whatever you're carrying today.

[Orderly Meds Announcer]

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[Monet X Change]

And breathe.

[Orderly Meds Announcer]

Oh, sorry. I almost couldn't breathe when I saw the discount they gave me on my first order. Oh, sorry. Namaste.

[Monet X Change]

Visit 1-800-contacts.com today to save on your first order.

[Caller 1]

1-800-contact contacts.

[Monet X Change]

Jacob, do you have the question loaded today? Are we going to wait because the Patreons are gathering you.

[Jacob (Producer/Moderator)]

You know, it's the Internet. It's going to look.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Monet, you're a monster today.

[Monet X Change]

Hi, Bob.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

And Monet, what motivates you to work out when you are working out?

[Monet X Change]

Because I try and I work out for all of 15 minutes.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

And I'm like, girl, great American cookie

[Monet X Change]

is right around the corner.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Why am I even bothering? Like, what motivates you to get sweaty and get. And get toned up?

[Monet X Change]

Sincerely, thicker than two Snickers. I have two motivations, a few motivations to get to work out. So, one, I think that I found a partner that also likes to work out, too. So we like working out together, and so that's fun. Number two, I just like, I like going to the gym in the morning, and I really like doing that in my day. And number three, because I eat so poorly. Like, bitch, I eat donuts, bitch. I went to Magnolia's today. I had a vanilla confetti cake and I had a blondie. And what about it? And then also to maintain how bad I eat, I have to work out. Like, I just have to, or else if I don't work out and eat how I eat, which is really bad, which is a game over for me and what I want my body to look like. And also three, y' all know I like how I look when I work out. I like how I look when I'm, I like how I look naked when I work out. And I'm getting my acceptance. So that's my motivation. Like going to the gym with my partner. A balance, just trying to stay at a nice, even place to balance what I'm eating. And three, just how I look naked when I, when I work out. Those are my three motivating things.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I, I, I don't like going to the gym. I don't go to the gym, and I don't work out very often. So I don't know what makes you think that I am, that I am in the gym or that I am toned. I am not toned. And I, and I do not work out sometimes I go sometimes when I. When I am working out, it's usually because I'm working out with a trainer. You know, I'm someone who really does what I say I'm going to do, and if I'm going to meet someone somewhere, then I'm going to meet them there. So there have been a lot of times in my life where the only reason I worked out was because I said I was gonna meet my trainer. And I'm like, all right, hey, Ridge, we're both here. Let's work out. I have not worked out with Ridge in a month of Sundays. A month of Sundays for 38 weeks. It's more of a saying than an actual unit of measure. But, yeah, so I don't know, baby. I mean, I don't know what you got to do to get your. To motivate yourself. I mean, I went through a breakup, and when I went through the breakup, I was. I was waking up every morning and doing running canyon. But I was trying to clear my brain. I was, like, enjoying the walk, and I was listening to music and on the, like, you know, the. The mountainside clearing my brain, and I really enjoyed that, actually. But then once I was, like, kind of over it, I was like,

[Monet X Change]

Bob also loves walks. Bob, like, Monet style. The amount of sentences that start with Bob, like, so I was on a walk. Bob loves going his little walk. Bob loves to do a little walking. And Bob also makes sure he counts his steps. You count your steps every day?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Yeah, I count my steps every day. I have not. I can't find my watch right now. So my steps. I don't know what my steps are giving on this day because now I just have to go off what my phone does. But my walk today was 11,000 steps, which is if you don't have your.

[Monet X Change]

You don't have your. You just say you don't have the watch. So how do you know what to do?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I have my phone for my walk. So you take your phone with you, and your phone has a pedometer in it as well. But when I'm at home, I actually don't count my steps, because I don't. I'm not carrying my phone around the house.

[Monet X Change]

Got it? Yeah.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Yeah.

[Monet X Change]

And also, I mean. Yeah, just find, like, something like, you have to. If you are going to the gym or you want to go, there has to be some. Like, that doesn't have to be. But I imagine or assume there's some reason why you want to do it. Either you want to be healthier or you Want to lose a couple pounds or you want to be fitter, like there has. So that could be your motivation. Or you can either find a superficial or a health reason why you want to. Why to motivate to go to the

[Bob the Drag Queen]

gym, you know, first ask yourself, why are you going to the gymnasium? No, There's a part in my life where I said I can either do the mental work that it takes to be happy with my body or I can do the physical work it takes to change my body. And I have decided to do neither. All right, Jacob, what's the. What is our next question?

[Caller 1]

Hi, Monet and Bob. My name is Jay. I am from Buttfuck, literally nowhere. And I need some advice. So I have somebody in my life who is spreading rumors and I need some advice of like a mature and adult way to handle things like that because I want to be immature about it. However, I know that's not going to help me in the long run. Anyways, thank you. I love you both.

[Gay Mama Bear]

And.

[Caller 1]

And please help me out.

[Monet X Change]

Since we got to get. We got to get. We can.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

We're going to risk. We're going to risk it.

[Monet X Change]

No, we're not.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

We're going to risk it for the biscuit. Oh, this is. They used to. They used to smoke, puff past, do shots and crack on camera. Oh, now.

[Monet X Change]

Now crack your crack.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Now she's the queen of. We're going to get. You're gonna get clocked.

[Monet X Change]

Your turn to go first, whore.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

We're gonna get clocked. Okay. Someone's spreading rumors about you. Okay, here's the thing about rumors. Are they. Okay, what is the definition of rumor? Is if. Is if it's true. Is it a rumor? If it's true, Is it a rumor? Also, what is it? What is this person saying about you? Like, are they talking about something you did? That is. That is a current circulating story or uncle of uncertain or doubtful truth. Is what they're saying about you completely false? Is what they're saying about you completely false? If it. Or is it true, but it's just not anyone's business. Is it like Monet fucked the football team? Well, that's between Monet and the football.

[Monet X Change]

Rumors are supposed to not true.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

It says that they can't. We don't know if they're true according to this definition, uncertain or doubtful truth. So we don't know if it's true because sometimes rumors are true. You know what I mean?

[Monet X Change]

This is true.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

And I think that.

[Monet X Change]

Well, that's a rumor.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

That is a rumor. We don't know that for sure. But according to Oxford languages, that's what they say. But I think that I'm a go to the source kind of person. When I hear something, I don't know if it's true or not, I call the person. But I call folks all the time. I am the queen of confronting things head on. Talking immediately getting right down to the source, which some people are like, why would Bob really be up in here confronting people? But it's not even about confronting it. It's just like, hey, someone said that you told them that I fucked the football team. First of all, I want to ask, did you say that? And they say yes. And I'll be like, well, why would you? You know, when you. I'm gonna give you some advice. I think I told you a while back, I used to work for this theater company called Climb Theater. And if you're being bullied, you gotta do these three things. These I can't remember. Steps. Say what you see. Say what you want. No. Say what you see. Say how you feel. Say what you want. Those are three. Say what you see. Say how you feel. Say what you want. Hey, I see that you're telling people that I fuck the football team. I don't. Like, like, when you say that, it feels like you're slut shaming me. It feels like you are saying it so that you can build a negative perception about me. It feels like you're telling people specifically so that I can look bad. And I want you to stop that. And I would like to cease communication. I don't want to be friends anymore. Say what you see, say how you feel. Say what you want. I can't believe I'm still saying that years later. It was like years ago when I was teaching kids this. Now I'm teaching adults.

[Monet X Change]

Yeah, I was going to say it depends on, like, what, like, because also if you confront this person and they're not ready to handle it in the same mature way you are, then there's a possibility of this escalation. Now, I don't know, it's gonna be physical violence or moral rumors or whatever. So I think you have to, like, if it's something like, I don't know, I guess if it's. If it's a rumor that bothering you, it doesn't matter how small it is, the person should still stop it. I was gonna say, I think maybe Bob said that's what. What Bob is saying is probably the best way to go about it because, you know, and I wonder how old you Are like, is this like a. Is this like a rumor at work that can get you fired? Or is this like, are you in high school and they're saying that you failed the math test when you did? You know what I mean? I don't. I guess.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Well, I mean, even in high school or high or at a collegiate level or in a Work with it, you know, rumors can really have a. A really negative impact, whether they're true or not. Whether Jay fucked the football team or whether Jay did not fuck the football team. Yeah, it's. It's really not anyone's business besides Jay and the football team. You know, I feel like I'm spreading rumors about Jay. Jay did not say they fucked the football team. I'm just using it as an example.

[Monet X Change]

It was the soccer team, not the football team.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Got it, got it, got it, got it.

[Orderly Meds Announcer]

Yeah.

[Monet X Change]

So, yeah, I think. I think Bob gave some good. Yeah, Bob gave some good advice there to handle that. I think that's all advice.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I can't say I came up with that, but I. But I can say that I do also think that it is very good.

[Monet X Change]

Because, like, my gut reaction is to be. Is to be petty and be a child about it. Depending on what it is, I would have either ignore it or not. Like, remember years ago and not years ago. It is years ago when that rumor. People started spreading that rumor about Valentina, how she only wanted red MMs or whatever it was. And, you know, that had, like, champagne and remnant. And that had, like, actual repercussions on her. Like, people, like, wouldn't want to book her because she's too demanding or whatever it was. And come to find out, well, that wasn't even Valentina. It was someone else. So, like, rumors. I don't wanna say her name. Cause she gets wild. But we can bleep it. Apparently. It was like she was the one that did that. But because of the drama with the two of them, it made it look like it was her. It was like this whole thing.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I saw this woman today online. So she. She found out her boyfriend cheated. So she took, like, a pickaxe and she, like, cut fu into his wall. Like, she, like, hammered it into his

[Caller 2]

wall,

[Bob the Drag Queen]

and then this other woman stitched it. She was like, no, no, no, no. Listen. If you catch your partner cheating, do not. Do not let them know that you caught them. Do not let them know that you caught them. What you're actually supposed to do is you make sure you make a list of all the things that your partner loves about themselves. Like, Monat's very talented. Monet's a good friend. Monet is a great kid to her parents. Monet shows up for people. You make a list of all the things that this person loves about themselves. You know, they have a strong work ethic. And then you set up their perfect date. You go to their perfect restaurant, go to their favorite place, you order their favorite food. Then all of a sudden, in the middle of the date, where you just smile and you just go completely blank, and then you just go, I can't do this anymore. And then when they ask you why not, you name all the things they love about themselves, but you say they're bad at it. You go, honestly, it's because you're not a good person. You're not a good friend. You're very lazy. You're not a hard worker. You're horrible to your parents. You're not good at drag.

[Monet X Change]

That's good.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

You're a bad singer. And it's honestly kind of embarrassing. But you cannot let them know that, you know, they cheated and find out they cheated. You have to just have it be like that. And then you cease communication with them. I was like, jesus, honestly, I fucking love that.

[Monet X Change]

Ooh, I fucking love that. That I. That. Ooh, I love that shit. I was watching you believe in. I used to. I don't know. I go back and forth. I go back and forth. I've been watching a lot of stuff on Netflix about, like, psychedelic stuff and, like, other, like, religious stuff. So, honestly, I'm in a place where I do not know if karma is real. I don't know. I don't know.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I was talking to my mom about religion recently, and she was asking why I'm not Christian.

[Monet X Change]

She was.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

She was going on and on about why I'm not Christian. Why am I Christian?

[Monet X Change]

I feel like. I feel like you talk about it a lot, why you're not Christian, and your mom listens to everything that you do.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

But not the podcast. The podcast is too much. She listened to everything else. So she goes on. And then. And then she was like. She was like, monet's not like that. And I was like, what do you think? You think Monet is, like, some super Christian?

[Monet X Change]

I mean, I'm agnostic. I said it before. I don't think that I'm the. You think that, bitch. When you die, you just. You said, it's a lot like when you believe. I think. I don't know where you go, but I definitely think that I. I don't think. Wait, this Is not a rivalry, but I don't.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I don't know.

[Monet X Change]

I don't know.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

We know. You don't know. We get it.

[Caller 1]

You don't know.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

None of us know.

[Monet X Change]

We get it.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

You're monogamous. Oh, my God. This is. We know. Oh, my God. Tell us more about your monogam.

[Monet X Change]

Jacob play the next question, please.

[Jay Black]

Hey, Bob and Monet. My name is jay black. I'm 34 and I reside in San Francisco.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Cool name.

[Jay Black]

My partner and I have been interested in engaging in a sexual encounter with another couple that we aren't really too close with, but we're always sweet and nice and when we see each other, when our friend groups run into each other out and about. And over the last year or so, we have had one off conversations between each of the partners alluding to the idea of it. There's been some flirting, extended body contact, some hand holding, and one drunken make out between me and one of them, but no conversations about it as a group or any scheduled plan. So my question is, what's the next step? How should I approach making it happen? And funny enough, they're kind of like friends of yours, Monet.

[Monet X Change]

I mean, I have a lot of friends in sf, so I. First, bitch, I thought you were drinking from a hydrogen peroxide bottle. I was like, you have gone off the deep end. This nigga's over here drinking hydrogen peroxide. Like, it's not alcohol.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

You know me.

[Monet X Change]

So first of all, it sounds like you have all the keys. You have all the. All the ducks in a row, everything in position to make it happen. Y' all have made out. Y' all have had body contact. Y' all holding hands. I think the only thing he.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

They hovered. He hovered his mouth over my dick, but he didn't suck it, you know?

[Monet X Change]

So I think all you have to say, like, yo, what's good? Like, hey, me and Ray, obviously, we're, like, really into y'.

[Caller 1]

All.

[Monet X Change]

Like, what do you say we set up a night this week that y' all come over and we, like, we like, you know, whatever. Like, think of, like, a slick way to do it.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

That's awkward.

[Monet X Change]

I mean, or y' all invite each other. Invite them over to chill or whatever or all watch a movie together. And as you know what, watch Wednesday, It's a scary movie. So that gives you, like, a reason to get close to each other while you're watching Wednesday. Somebody just, you know, it's cold right now. Yes, it's the cold time in sf. October. November. Perfect. So I just get a Little call, y' all open the window, y' all got a little blanket on. Just start sucking some dick. Just start sucking some dick on the couch. Like, I mean, y' all are grown ass men. Y' all are, y' all are. Y' all have been making out and holding dicks and holding asses. Like, I mean, if somebody get a little chub in the movie and you just saw you put their hand on their dick, it will, it's, it's gonna do what it's gonna do.

[Jacob (Producer/Moderator)]

Okay.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Then it said they were holding dicks. They're holding hands. He said hands.

[Monet X Change]

Body contact. What does body contact mean?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Extended body contact and holding hands. That does not mean that. Does that mean holding dicks, Monet? That does not mean holding dicks and holding asses. I just want to be very clear about that.

[Monet X Change]

I, okay, well, I have extended body contact. I, I, I, I miss.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

So, you know, me and Jacob were hooking up with this couple in San Francisco, but what we were actually doing was I was hooking up with one of them and Jacob was hooking up with the other one. And we never, actually, all four of us have never gotten together at the same time. Three of us have got, Three of us did have gotten together, but never all. All four of us. And I feel like, first of all, you should definitely, whichever one of you two of you are closest to getting it on, I think that what you should do is you should let them know that me and my partner think you're both hot. Like, we think you're really, really hot. Sometimes some people just need someone to, like, pull the trigger and say, and not say, you look cute tonight. You look great. Hot or sexy. Hot or sexy are the words that will let people know. This is not just friends saying that you look nice. It is, it is saying, like, you look, you took. You look, you look. Me and Monet thought you look really. If me and Monet are trying to get with Heidi and what's her. What side is Jada? Essence Hall.

[Monet X Change]

Jada.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

If me and Monet are trying to make the moves on Heidi and Jada, let's say me and Heidi made out one time at a party. And I just say, me and Monet thought that you looked really sexy tonight. I'm not gonna lie. You looked really hot. And then, and then Hyde says, thanks. I'm like, and we also think that Jada looks really hot too. And I would love, we would love to have you over sometime. So I would say, when you invite them over, make your intentions clear. Don't Just invite them over to say we're gonna watch Wednesday and then start slipping digits in people's holes. I would say let them know why they're coming over before they come over. Personally, I mean, really, I feel like

[Monet X Change]

that kind of makes a. That takes like the fun out of it. I feel like you invite them over for dinner or not dinner, sorry, a movie or whatever, just to chill at the house and watch a movie. I think that is literally Netflix and chilling. Like, people know what's up.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Okay, you've invited me and Jacob.

[Jay Black]

But also.

[Monet X Change]

But to your point, to your point,

[Bob the Drag Queen]

though, there's no dick holding men.

[Monet X Change]

To your point though, I will say for gay men it's a little different because maybe they may not. If the intention's not super clear, then the bottom may not douche. So it may prevent the full whatever from happening. So that's the thing with gay sex. Gay sex can be so tricky. Cause you want to be spontaneous sometimes. But bitch, you gotta get your shit right. Like, you gotta make sure you're ready to fuck. So that is a thing about gay sex. Whereas straight people have it easy. Somebody's always ready to. Somebody's always down.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

There's lots of gay people who have sex that doesn't include.

[Monet X Change]

This is true. This is true.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I don't think there's anything unsexy about letting people know your intention before you come over personally. But if that kills the mood for you, just be prepared to have nothing happening.

[Monet X Change]

This is true.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

That's all I'm saying. You don't think it's sexy for someone to say, I want. Hey, come over, let's have sex.

[Monet X Change]

You say, what if. If that's. If that's sexy.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Yeah, you're like. You're like, it's not cool. Or it kills. Like, I can't remember how you put it. How did you put it?

[Monet X Change]

Maybe I said it was whack to like, say beforehand. Like, it.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Like you think it's whack to like let someone know that you're coming over to have sex?

[Monet X Change]

Not that sex, but I think there is. For me, there is something fun about the, like, the mystery of it all and like, like going over to cha. Chill and then like, thing. Because then there's that whole spontaneous. It just feels more spontaneous. And to me that feels more sexy. Like when you're just going to watch a movie and like, you know, things just happen. Like, that's sexy. Like that's hot, you know, for me.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

So I guess it all depends on what's. What's Sexy to you?

[Monet X Change]

Yeah.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

All right, Jacob, let's give some more advice. It's loading.

[Jacob (Producer/Moderator)]

It's gonna start playing.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

One moment. This is gonna.

[Monet X Change]

We're.

[Jacob (Producer/Moderator)]

Let it load.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Don't let Monet bully you.

[Jacob (Producer/Moderator)]

You know, sometimes it takes longer to load than others, and that is not my fault. I am doing the best I can, but I'm just gonna keep talking, and it's gonna load eventually. And, you know, here we. Here it is.

[Caller 2]

Hi, Bob and Monet. My name is Jacob. I'm 29 from Seattle, and I just had a question. So me and some of my friends were on a reality television show, and we wanted to film a reunion type thing separate from the company that made the reality TV show, but just kind of due to some legal hoops and stuff like that, we're not really able to release it, even though we've already filmed it. And I was just curious maybe if one of you might have some advice, because I think the fans really do want to. Want to hear what we have to say, and I'm just kind of stuck in a little bit of a pickle, so I thought I'd reach out. Big fan. Love the podcast. Love you guys. Thanks.

[Orderly Meds Announcer]

Bye.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

All right, it is my go. I'm gonna recommend you do this. Delete the footage. Never bring it up again, because, you know, those people have more money, resources, and power than you, and they are probably very serious about what they're talking about. So if I were you, I would just become one with the wind and sky and let it go. Let it go.

[Monet X Change]

You know, I'm gonna go a step further. I think that you should pack up your shit and leave the country. I think you should flee to another country. Leave your life and family where you live and never look back. Leave Seattle, bitch, without a trace. Gone. Because to Bob's point, they possess a certain amount of loyals and skills, and they will find you, and they will

[Bob the Drag Queen]

get you the country. Lead the planet, bitch. Next time they see it should be Mars versus the Universe, bitch. Bitch.

[Monet X Change]

Toot, toot, toot, toodaloo.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Mars versus the Galaxy. Get the hell out of town.

[Monet X Change]

I should not have sang that song. I should have sang that song.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Should I say that song, Jacob? Y' all are wild.

[Brian]

Hey, Monet and Bob. I'm Brian. He him. His based in Harlem, really close to Bob's old apartment, actually, and born and raised in Rwanda. My question is, have you ever had to restructure a relationship? Friendships or romantic? So kind of like, re. Establish boundaries? How did you go about that? And where has that, like, led that relationship.

[Monet X Change]

Ooh, that's a good one. I think that especially in relationships, I think that after, like, some time has passed, I think that it is, for me, is good practice to. If you feel that certain boundaries have been crossed. So certain things are just hitting you different because also in the course of a friendship or relationship, you are growing and changing as well. So boundaries that you may not have had when you first met, you may develop them later on. And also when you are with someone, there are certain boundaries that you like again that you realize, oh, this is a thing that I have a boundary around. And I think it's really good practice to recognize that and vocalize that. And now I think I can admit that I'm not always. I'm guilty of not always saying those things immediately when I think it. And sometimes I let it boil and get to a point where it has to come up. And sometimes it's not always in the nicest way because I let it get to that point. So I would say if you see their boundaries and certain things in a relationship or a friendship, that they are getting to you and they are starting to make you build resentments because you have not talked about it out loud, and it's just festering. I think it's really, really, really important to bring it up sooner rather than later, because, you know, if it. If you wait too late, it could be catastrophic and end of friendship or the relationship. So I think it's really important to bring those things up right when you notice them and you see them affecting you.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I'm assuming what you mean is like, a relationship shifting. I'm assuming you mean like a partner becoming, like an ex becoming your friend. I'm assuming that's what you mean.

[Monet X Change]

Oh, I thought they meant in, like, just boundaries. I heard like boundaries, like, in a relationship. That's what I thought.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Can you play it again, Jacob, or what did you get from it, Jacob?

[Jacob (Producer/Moderator)]

I thought. I think it'd be both. I thought it was boundaries and a friendship. I can play it again, though, if you give me a second.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I just need to pull it back up. Okay. Sorry, I'm yawning.

[Jacob (Producer/Moderator)]

But I thought it was just like re Establishing in any relationship.

[Brian]

Hey, Monet and Bob. I'm Brian.

[Jay Black]

He.

[Brian]

Him. His based in Harlem, really close to Bob's old apartment, actually, and born and raised in Rwanda. My question is, have you ever had to restructure a relationship? Friendships or romantic. So kind of like, re. Establish boundaries? How did you go about that?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

And got it. Okay.

[Brian]

Where has that, like, led that relationship.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

So, I mean, I think that setting healthy. I think setting healthy boundaries is really important. I think that setting boundaries as you go along is also important sometimes if you. Like when they say, if you wait too long to set your boundaries, you. You'll have to set a lot at one time or it really starts to bother you because this person has been going over this boundary that you haven't made clear for a really long time.

[Caller 2]

And

[Bob the Drag Queen]

sometimes I don't know if you're the kind of person who feels comfortable saying what you need or the kind of person who feels comfortable being like, I don't like when you blank, blank, blank. Or we are, we are no longer going to be having sex or we are no longer going to be you and I can't work together anymore. I have had a friend that, that I, that I had to be like, I love you. We can, we cannot work together anymore. If we're going to be friends. We can, we just cannot work together anymore. We ended up not being friends at all.

[Monet X Change]

And we just ended up just doing the podcast together anyway.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Yeah, this is work, trust me. And one of us is doing a lot of heavy lifting. But yeah, no, it does. And that really negatively impacted our friendship because we found out that the work was actually what was keeping our bond. The working together was what was actually making us stay friends. We didn't realize that without the work, we didn't really have a friendship. And I think it was necessary to find that out, quite frankly.

[Monet X Change]

Yeah.

[Brian]

Yeah.

[Monet X Change]

I think boundaries are important. And also. And the older you get to. I wish I'd learned about boundaries younger. I think boundaries are something that I realized were really important to me, like late in my 20s, like maybe actually when I was 30. And I wish I was clear about setting boundaries when I was younger. Cause I feel like maybe some things in my life just would have been different if I was very clear about setting boundaries and intentions way earlier, like at a younger age. So if you're a young listener to this, learn that that is an important part about life. Boundaries are very important in your life.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Using a close up of skin, like a, like a super deep, like micro magnifying glass or like telescope on your skin. Because like a microscope. A microscope. Isn't that the word telescope?

[Monet X Change]

No, a telescope is for the stars. A microscope is for your, like a

[Bob the Drag Queen]

microcell when you're on your skin or something. I look at my skin, I was like, well, my skin looks really smooth, but I bet if I got up close it would look like the surface of the sun or, or the ground of a desert. Like cracked mud. But right now I'm like, wow, it looks so smooth. But like up close I'd be like, this is crazy.

[Monet X Change]

That's cuz it's paint.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

It's paint.

[Monet X Change]

It's paint. It's Pa.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Where are you right now?

[Monet X Change]

Me? I'm in Santa Barbara.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

What are you in Santa Barbara?

[Monet X Change]

I had a little barbecues thing.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Who's barbecue?

[Monet X Change]

My friend of mine that lives in Santa Barbara. I better keep secrets.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Play the next question. Okay. Ask him on every detail. She's like, monet will give you a nugget. I'd be like, monet, what are you doing? She'll be like a thing. Okay. What thing? A barbecue. Okay. Where? Santa Barbara. Okay. Who's barbecue? A friend. Okay. Who's the friend, bitch? Give me the information, bitch.

[Monet X Change]

I'm at my house, Bob. You don't know? You don't recognize the back of Bitch. I'm in my home. Bitch. I'm in my home.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

There's no shoes behind you. Where's all the shoes?

[Monet X Change]

I'm in my drag room. I'm in the other room.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Yes. I don't. I don't recognize you doing this because also normally there's a bathroom behind you.

[Jacob (Producer/Moderator)]

I don't.

[Monet X Change]

That's the bathroom right there.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Why are you in this room instead of where the desktop is?

[Monet X Change]

Because dejuan and RC Is here and dejuan is staying in that guest room.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Oh, okay.

[Jacob (Producer/Moderator)]

So we have a couple left. I have one question that I found was notable because the person asking it seemed to be the problem and maybe needed advice about why their behavior was toxic. And then I have a regular one.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Is that one from Mona?

[Jacob (Producer/Moderator)]

So I don't know if we're interested in engaging that or if we should just do a regular one.

[Monet X Change]

I'm interested in hearing it.

[Jacob (Producer/Moderator)]

Okay. It gets wild.

[Caller 1]

Hi, Bob Monet. So I need some advice. I am dealing with severe stone identity wannabe ism jealousy. So basically I was dating this man for almost six years. Very long time. We went on a lot of vacations together and our friend group was very merged. We had all the same friends. Now that we broke up. I have completely distanced myself from that whole friend group. And he has a new girlfriend who we will call Tubby. And Tubby has completely befriended that entire friend group and now she is best friends with all of the girls that I was best friends with. And she is going on these family vacations and friend vacations that I was going on. And she also is stealing my interests. So Tubby will post like a RuPaul's Drag Race live in Las Vegas. When she doesn't fucking watch Drag Race, she just knows that I'm a big fan and she's purposely doing it to piss me off and get under my skin. And she's doing a good job at it. So I need to know what I should do in this situation, how to ignore it, how to. On her back. Thank you. Love ya.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Did she. Why is she going? Was it. Was there some body shaming in that?

[Monet X Change]

I. I feel like she's like that. She's like affectionately called that. Can you play one more time? There's a lot of information.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

She did not affectionately call her Tubby.

[Monet X Change]

Play it one more time. Because I, I didn't get some details too, that I. That I like. She gave us a lot of stuff going on. She was fucking the dude, but then she broke up with the dude and the girl.

[Caller 1]

Hi, Bob Monet. So I need some advice. I am dealing with severe stolen identity wannabe ism jealousy. So basically, I was dating this man for almost six years. Very long time. We went on a lot of vacations together and our friend group was very merged. We had all the same friends. Now that we broke up, I have completely distanced myself from that whole friend group. And he has a new girlfriend who we will call Tubby. And Tubby has completely befriended that entire friend group. And now she is best friends with all of the girls that I was best friends with. And she is going on these family vacations and friend vacations that I was going on. And she also is stealing my interest. So Tubby will post like a RuPaul's Drag Race live in Las Vegas. When she doesn't watch Drag Race, she just knows that I'm a big fan and she's purposely doing it to piss me off and get under my skin. And she's doing a good job at it. So I need to know what I should do in this situation, how to ignore it on her back. Thank you.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

She's like, okay, let's call her a fat cunt. Okay, first of all, fat cunt is watching Drag Race. She's a fake bitch. You're first. I'm gonna go ahead.

[Monet X Change]

Is it my turn to go?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Yeah.

[Monet X Change]

It sounds like you're also. You're making a lot of assumptions about what this situation is. How do you know she don't watch Drag Race? I mean, obviously you notice people better than we do, but you just. You don't know that for sure that she doesn't watch Drag Race. Drag Race is one of the most popular reality shows of all time. Like, a lot of people watch Drag Race, so you're assuming that she doesn't like Drag Race number two. It sounds like you're really obsessed with what this exes doing, girl. Like, it's not like you're like really obsessive knowing like that, like what vacation deals are going on, if, if you have not gotten over the relationship and if you still find yourself looking into what vacations he's going on, who he's talking to, what his current girlfriend is watching. I think you should do some work about maybe trying to get closure with this ex or you can move on. But it clearly seems that you have not moved on completely from this ex boyfriend if you're still so hell bent on knowing exactly what he's doing all the time. So I think you should really do some work on how to get closure so you can move on and stop studying what they're doing.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Yeah. You know, even if she didn't watch Drag Race before, maybe meeting these new friends and they all watch Drag Race, she's like, oh, wow, I'm actually interested in this now. It seems interesting to me. I don't, you know, we're assuming. I don't know why you're calling her Tubby. Maybe, maybe because her last name is Tubman. I have no clue. Who knows? But what I can say is. So when you say your friend groups merged, does that mean that you met, like, did you meet this guy, date him, then all of his friends became your friends? Or did you bring friends? He brought friends. They mixed together, and now none of them are your friends. But also, you said you distance yourself from the group. Is the group also distancing itself from you? Or are you just choosing not to be around any of these people? So I do have a lot of questions basically about, like, what is. What is going on? And. And are you. You know, I think that Monet is right. You need to find a way to get closure for yourself because, you know, it's whether or not also, we don't know that she's posting it to get under your skin. She might just really be having fun on vacation and watching RuPaul's Drag Race. You know what I mean? And if she is posting to get on your skin, it's really none of your business. That's her prerogative to post on her social media. As long as she's not like harassing you. She's just Posting stuff that she likes to do, even if it is stuff you like to do. She's not, like, posting your name or spreading rumors about you or telling lies on you. She's just having fun with this guy.

[Monet X Change]

Yeah, she was posting stuff to get at you. She was showing up at your job and be like, yeah, bitch, now make that motherfucking grill cheese, you fucking thick ass hoe. I think that's a different conversation. Like, yeah, fight that bitch. But it seemed like she's just doing her own thing, dating her man and watching Drag Race. And you're like, oh, she's doing it. She's only doing those things because she only dated him because I dated him. She's only watching Drag Race because I watch Drag Race. She's only rooting for Willow because I rooted for Willow.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

What company sells Drag Race? Sells grilled cheese. I can think of one place that sells grilled cheese sandwiches.

[Monet X Change]

There's a place right on the corner there of the Target, right there on Sunset, in between and Western, there's this grilled cheese spot that's real good.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

There's a great place in Wilton Manor that sells these amazing grilled cheese sandwiches. It's a whole grilled cheese in Fort Lauderdale in Wilton Manor that sells these. It's just a great grilled cheese spot. And, oh, it is next level.

[Gay Mama Bear]

Good.

[Monet X Change]

I think Wilton Manors might be your favorite place in Florida. I have heard you talk about Wilton Manors more times than I think. Maybe Columbus, Georgia. You're obsessed with Wilton Manors.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Am I?

[Gay Mama Bear]

Yes.

[Monet X Change]

You talk about Wilton Manors very often.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I mean, I like it there. I do like Wilton Manor. That is nice. I don't know that I ever moved there, but I got a gig there before Drag Race, which is probably why I was thinking about it a lot there. I also had some hooked up with this really hot guy in Wilton Manor

[Monet X Change]

one time in the sex place because they had that clothing optional.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

It was in my hotel room.

[Monet X Change]

Oh, it was in my hotel room. Patty and I went there. Patty and I did a gig in Wilton Manors, and I didn't know we were staying at a clothing optional place.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Every once in a while, I will have a week. Every once in a while, I end up having a weekend hookup where it's like you meet them on Friday and y' all are just hooking up all weekend long. This is one of the. It was great. It was great. Shout out to that person. You know who you are.

[Monet X Change]

Back when I was a lady of the streets. Not anymore, because,

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Oh, my God.

[Monet X Change]

I used to. I used to remember those too. But. Yeah, I used to remember those two. Especially when, like, when we would be in, like, London for, like. Like when I. When I did New Year's Eve in London, I was there for, like. I ended up being there for six days. I don't know why I was there for six days. I was there for six days. Me, Shangela and Vanjie, we were there for six days. And that's when I had that infamous hookup when that guy tried to steal my beats and act like he did it.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Well, sometimes when you travel internationally, this happens in Australia a lot. You know, you go to these clubs or these theater places, but they're not doing shows on, like, Tuesdays and Wednesdays. So you have these just days off or you're. You're there. You're only working weekends, but you're trying to hit, you know, six different cities, but you only have Fridays and Saturdays. You end up being there for three weeks even though you're only working for six days. It's a whole thing. I haven't up in Australia in a minute.

[Monet X Change]

Like three or four years. For me, I haven't been to Australia even going down next year. I'm excited. Yeah, Australia used to be a good time bitch. Last time I went to Australia, I forgot what pattern I were doing, but it was a gentleman. I had met the first. This was the guy that Jinx and I tell the story about how we hooked up with the same guy in Australia. Well, he hooked up with me, and then later she hooked him up and he was like, sorry, I was meeting up with someone at your. One of the other girls there. And she was like, who was it? Monetary, like, just joking around. And he was like, yeah. And then. And Jinx did not end up hooking up with him. I hooked up with him. And then when I went to Australia again, me and him met up and he, like, he came around with us for a few cities.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Wait, Jinx didn't. Jinx didn't fuck him?

[Monet X Change]

No, he didn't want to fuck her. Cause he, him and I were like. We were like. We were doing, like the week thing. Like, we hung out on Friday, Saturday. Like, it was like a thing.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

So I guess Jinx doesn't. I guess Jinx doesn't win everything. I guess Jinx doesn't win everything, does she? All right, Jake, let's do our last one.

[Monet X Change]

I'll tell Jacob what number this is. Jacob. And we might do one more after you leave. So you can leave after you hang

[Bob the Drag Queen]

out yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Monet X Change]

We'll decide. We'll decide what we're gonna to do. Thank you.

[Gay Mama Bear]

Hi, Jacob. Thank you so much for listening to all these. These applications.

[Monet X Change]

You're welcome.

[Gay Mama Bear]

Hi, Bob and Monet. Thank you so much for your advice in advance and for all that you do. Y' all help me figure out that I am pansexual. So shout out for that. So I am a cisgendered white woman, and someday I would really like to give birth to children and to also foster that children, or maybe my partner would also give birth to children. But my plan has pretty much always been to give my children non binary names just in case they come out as trans. You know, hopefully it'll be less triggering if they get dead name. Because they could, of course, change their name if they want, but. Yeah, and also to sort of make sure that the environment isn't like, oh, my mom expects me to be, you know, female or male or something.

[Caller 1]

You know what I mean?

[Gay Mama Bear]

But I was wondering if y' all had any other advice for like a queer friendly home, like what to do for children. I'm very nervous about raising children. It's a huge responsibility. But I really love kids and I just. Yeah. So I'm very excited about it, but I'd like to do all that I can and y' all have taught me so much, so thank you so much. Sincerely. Gay mama bear.

[Monet X Change]

Oh, my God. Gay mom is so cute. That laugh is so cute. It's very cute live. You should monetize that, I think. Your turn, babe.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Okay, let's talk about some gender fluid names or some androgynous names or something.

[Monet X Change]

That's what I was thinking to y' all saw me.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I was thinking I was like, great ones. Taylor is a great and like, name that could be either any gender. Sydney is another one. Shannon is another one. Charlie.

[Monet X Change]

Charlie. I was gonna say Charlie.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Billy. I mean, any name can really be Lee. Lee is a great one.

[Monet X Change]

Yeah.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Anyway, I'm just throwing those out there as some options I actually do have. I have a few friends. Not many, but I have few. A few friends who transitioned and were able to keep their names. And they were like, wow, it really is a game changer to be able to, like, keep your name.

[Monet X Change]

Sammy is a good one.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Yeah. Sam itself. Sam is a good one. Be able to keep their names and not have to switch that up on their documents. They're like, oh, I just ended up really looking out. And I also have some friends who have very gendered names who just chose not to change them. And they were like, it is what it is. You know what I mean? That's my name. And I think that I'm thinking about, like, wait, when you raise your kids, maybe, you know, something that I really resented growing up was how many people. How people in my family would really talk to me about what it meant to be a man and say things like, boys can't do this, girls can't do this, Boys do this, girls don't do this. I cry. I was a crybaby, and I got often told that boys can't be, that boys don't cry, boys can't cry.

[Gay Mama Bear]

That.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I'm sure that affected me negatively throughout my life. I was told a lot of times that just. I would just often tell that boys can't do a lot of the things that I was doing, which made. Didn't feel good, you know, it felt bad, actually. It made me feel like I was fucked up and weird. I think that it's okay to let your kids know that they can be. I don't believe in telling kids they can be anything because that. That doesn't really. That that leaves out a lot of nuance. You can be anything and you can do anything. Leaves out a lot of nuance. So I'm just gonna say that out loud. But I think that it's okay to let your kids know that they don't have to abide by gender norms, and maybe you can set an example in your. In your own life.

[Monet X Change]

That was gonna be my point. I was like, as a parent, like, obviously we get. We pick up a lot of things from our parents. Like, a lot of things that I don't even realize in my adult life are because of how I was raised. Like, a lot of things. You know what I mean? So I think you've. Setting the example, like, you set the tone for a lot of their behavior.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

So

[Monet X Change]

if you feel so comfortable to be more fluid in your. In your dress and in your expression as the adult, I think colors. I think obviously, fuck the pink and blue thing. Like, try to pick colors that are pretty neutral, like greens and yellows and stuff like that to show. Yeah, I think color is it. I think aside from the name thing, colors and just you being the example so that your kid picks up on these things and they feel comfortable with it. Because the more that they see you be comfortable with comfortable with it, the more they see you expressing yourself fluidly in your gender expression. I think that that will set the tone for how they behave and how they react.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

You can Also do it with hair or with clothing. You know, I think I was thinking about raising a kid and being like, what if I told my kid like, well, let's say I had a kid, a child who was assigned male at birth. And what I said, what I was, I was thinking about this, what if I was, what if I, I don't know if this is. So don't take this advice. It's never, it's not tried at all. I was thinking, what if I was like, okay, you, society gives you the role of society is probably going to treat you like you're a boy, you know what I mean? And statistically you probably are a boy. Statistically you probably are. So I just want you to know that to make your life easy right now, we're going to go with that. But if at any point in time you feel like that doesn't suit you, let me know we can change, let me know we can adjust. If at any point in time you feel like that feels it hurts you or you feel uncomfortable with this, with these words, then just let me know. But then again, that is not actual advice that I've seen anywhere in the, in the world, but it's something I thought about a lot and I say

[Monet X Change]

most of tiktoks too. I mean again, I'm not a parent so I don't know a monetarily how that factors in or what that means for kids in school and all that stuff. But I see a lot of parents let their kids choose their clothes and I mean within reason, right? If it's 10 degrees outside, you know, you're not wearing shorts and a short sleeve shirt like you know, weather permitting. But parents allowing their kids to choose because giving your kids ownership of how they get to choose to express themselves I think is really important. And then I think that will also give you a guidance. So it's like how they're leaning, like what colors do they like, like what is that expression? So letting them be at the helm of that I think is really important in like a fierce way. And also you said that you're a CIS white, that you're a CIS white woman. So I think that's what she said. And I would also implore you to culturally too. If you end up having white children to give them black dolls and black Barbies and let them experience those things so that not all their, if you do get Barbies or GI Joe's, that they're all not white, that you give them different Barbies and sets of players so that they give that side of it too. Not just gender, but also culturally. Did you have white toys? Was very important. I did. I didn't have Barbies or anything. But when I had also I didn't play. I wasn't a GI Joe person either. I was a video game kid. Like. Cause my brother had video games. I was from pretty young. Like, I was video games. I don't remember having videos.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Any toys though.

[Monet X Change]

I don't remember. I really don't remember.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I loved action figures. I really loved action figures growing up so much. And a lot of my action figures, some of them were white, but they were also based off like characters from tv. So like, I play with like Wolverine. So Wolverine was white because Wolverine is white in the cartoons.

[Monet X Change]

You know what I mean?

[Brian]

Yeah.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

But I also, I always wanted the, if there, if it was a generic like a Barbie or like a kin or something. I did one want the black one as a kid.

[Monet X Change]

I love that.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

And I also loved going to see the black Santa.

[Monet X Change]

Oh, I love. Well, we didn't have Santa Claus. We didn't have, we don't have malls like that in St. Lucia, so. I've never been to a mall to take a picture of Santa Claus.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I have. And it was really like, you know, because of, because of a show called Family Matters. I believed as a kid I was like, the real Santa Claus is black because I saw him on Family Matters. Like, I know the real Santa Claus is black. I know it because that's all my Family Matters.

[Monet X Change]

Yeah, I, I, I, I watch Family Matters, but I don't remember the Black Santa Claus episode. But I'm sure there was, there were black families. I'm sure that that was a thing. I, I didn't remember seeing that though.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Do you believe in Santa Claus, y'?

[Gay Mama Bear]

All?

[Monet X Change]

I think I did. I did up until like maybe like seven. But I remember one year because my mom and my dad, they would buy like all the presents and they would like hide them in my, in the game room closet. But like in our game room closet, there was like a, there was like a part, like they were like storage stuff.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Oh, a whole room for a game.

[Monet X Change]

Oh my God. Okay, when I say room, it wasn't like a room.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

They said it was in the game. When I said the game suite, it

[Monet X Change]

was like a walk in closet. And then so like they would put the gifts all behind there. Or my mom's closet.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Wait, the game room had a walk in closet.

[Monet X Change]

So I remember opening. I remember my mom or I went to go look for something in her closet. And I saw the gifts, and I don't know, my brain just put. I was like, oh, she's Santa Claus. Like, she's buying the gifts and she's putting them out. Because they would put them out. Like, I would go to bed that night and wake up in the morning, it would be, like, full with gifts. I was like, oh, my God. I remember that year. I was like, maybe seven or eight. And I was like, oh, my God, they're doing this.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

You was in the closet looking for curry goat, probably about to get slapped. You found Santa Claus, right? All right, Roberta, people are on. On Patreon. I was reading the comments. They were very excited that we're back.

[Monet X Change]

I read them. The comments are really lighting up. People are happy. Walter is back. A lot of people are like, yeah, we need to break Gregory's, too. I mean, advisory. Jesus. All right, well, thank you all so

[Bob the Drag Queen]

much for listening to us.

[Monet X Change]

All right, Roberta, I'll talk to you very soon. Okay.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

All right.