Sibling Advicery: Size Queen/Dressing Fem

Summary

Sibling Rivalry Podcast

Episode: Sibling Advicery: Size Queen/Dressing Fem

Date: April 11, 2022

Hosts: Monét X Change & Bob the Drag Queen

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Episode Overview

In this engaging Sibling Advicery installment, Bob and Monét field listener questions on everything from dealing with “size queenery” in dating, to exploring gender expression in fashion, heartbreak over friendships, and tough choices in relationships. The duo’s trademark banter, candid storytelling, and sharp humor shine through as they navigate serious advice with levity and lived experience. Notable themes: queer self-expression, microaggressions, relationship boundaries, and celebrating your preferences—plus some deep dives into hotel WiFi struggles, St. Lucian cuisine, and the anatomy of a “petite taint.”

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Major Discussion Points

Opening Banter and Travel Tales

[00:10–06:00]

• Recurring issues with hotel WiFi lead to a riff on hotel loyalty programs and the all-encompassing reach of “Marriott Bonvoy.”
  • Bob: “They’ll say, Bonvoy, I’ll see you, honey.” ([00:51])
• Bob details a travel saga involving lost wallets and double-booked hotel rooms, leading to jokes about sharing beds and “sweet as St. Lucia” merch.
• They reminisce about filming The Pit Stop and clarify it’s a Paramount production (not World of Wonder), with playful shade towards their editor/producer Joe.

Listener Advisory 1: Resentment Over Cancelled Concert

[06:06–13:48]
Justin laments his sister’s girlfriend canceling a Lorde concert trip, citing Chicago’s “high crime rate,” and asks for advice on managing resentment and addressing potential microaggressions.

• Bob & Monét’s Take:
  • They call out the problematic “crime” rationale as a form of coded prejudice.
    • Monét: “It’s very much giving I don’t go to the ghetto.” ([07:38])
  • Suggest having a compassionate conversation about why such comments are inappropriate and how they affect others.
  • Both share their experiences living in “high crime” areas and emphasize that cities are often unfairly judged.
  • Bob tells a (darkly funny) story about his mother surviving a stray bullet in Atlanta:
    • “In all fairness, my mom did get hit by a stray bullet in Atlanta one time in the head.” ([12:09])
    • This leads to banter/mock explanations of the complexities of urban living.

Dressing Fem and Overcoming Fear

[15:27–23:21]
Tyler, a queer UK film student, shares fears about expressing himself through fashion and facing judgment/violence. He asks how the hosts first overcame these fears and sought confidence.

• Monét’s Reflection:
  • Recalls nervousness visiting St. Lucia in femme clothing: “It is a little icky at first because you were like, ‘oh my God, everyone’s looking at me.’ … But, bitch, just put those fucking booty shorts on...” ([16:51])
  • Offers a personal mantra: “What others think of me is none of my business.” ([17:12])
• Bob’s Story:
  • Shares his first step out with a rainbow belt at 18 (“I was probably, like, shaking… but I remember feeling liberated…” ([19:12]))
  • Now so used to stares, he barely notices them.
  • Notes dressing queer is a subtle sign to others in the community: “I feel more comfortable in my own skin because… I can see that they are a part of the fam.” ([20:32])

St. Lucian Fame, Food, and Family

[21:09–24:00 & 61:00–63:43]

• Riotous back-and-forth as Monét tries to educate Bob on national dishes (salt fish, bouillon) and notable St. Lucians, plus jokes about currying goat and old lady names.
• Memorable Bit: Bob and Monét agree Monét should be on official “Famous St. Lucians” lists for her millions of followers.

Listener Advisory 2: Size Queen Preferences

[24:03–32:18]
A listener explores whether it’s “okay” to be a so-called size queen (having a preference for well-endowed partners) or if they should “broaden their horizons.”

• Monét claims she’s not a size queen and prefers variety: “I’ve always found a lot of big beauty in a lot of genitals. Call me a hoe.” ([25:36])
• Bob discusses how preferences can be shaped by past experiences, socialization, and sexual compatibility.
• Extended, hilarious anatomical debate on the “taint” and the elusive “second hole.”
  • Bob: “I have a very petite taint.” ([29:47])
• Both suggest it’s fine to have preferences, but being open can yield surprising (and pleasurable) experiences.
  • Bob: “If you open yourself up, you may find guys with not huge dicks… but you’re shunning them because as soon as you see the dick pic, you block them.” ([31:36])

Falling Out with Friends

[36:32–43:41] Abe, a longtime fan, asks how to cope with losing close friends and whether closure is possible.

• Monét: “Not all friendships last a lifetime. Some friendships are just for a season, for a moment.” ([39:43])
• Bob recounts his history with major fallouts, emphasizing the growth that happens when you move on: “We had to literally have a discussion—okay, we’re literally just roommates now. That is all we are.” ([41:40])
• Both agree: prioritize your mental health, accept shifting relationship dynamics, and sometimes, things “run their course.”

Dating, Exhaustion, and Small City Grindr Woes

[54:11–58:11] Anthony complains of “saturating” his city’s dating app pool and asks if he should move to meet new guys.

• Bob jokes: “Bitch, you have fucked everybody. Your clit has left your body.” ([54:56])
• Monét admires Anthony’s ambition: “…honestly, you’re a hero. Not all heroes wear capes. Some of them use Tinder.” ([55:08])
• Suggestions: try other neighborhoods, re-examine what you want, consider taking a hiatus from apps—and, if necessary, consider a move.

Relationship Boundaries: Internalized Homophobia

[46:41–51:12] A listener worries she’s “evil” for ending a dating situation with a nice guy because his internalized homophobia was triggering after her own struggles.

• Bob strongly affirms: “You’re not obligated to walk anyone through anything that feels traumatic or re-traumatizing to you… That is a privilege, not a requirement.” ([49:34])
• Monét says it’s not shady or wrong to leave: “You don’t need to write a dissertation and have it be your thesis… Sometimes people can’t articulate themselves. They just know they feel the way they do.” ([48:17])

Random Realness and Running Jokes

• [43:41–61:34, scattered]
  • Digressions on Bluetooth headphones (Beats vs. AirPods vs. Samsung), food shame in hotel hallways (“I just took it and put it in front of somebody else's door.” [52:51]), and cravings for Bojangles biscuits.
  • “Calories confessionals” and the rollercoaster of St. Lucian food and Southern American soul cooking (chitlins, pig’s feet, bouillon).

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On City Prejudice:
  “It’s so weird for someone to be like, I don’t go to Chicago because the crime is so bad. It’s very much giving I don’t go to the ghetto.”
  —Monét, [07:38]

• On Queer Fashion Fear:
  “I have a tattoo down my back that says ‘what others think of me is none of my business.’ And I still have to learn that.”
  —Monét, [17:12]

  “I was probably shaking… but I remember feeling liberated... I can’t believe I did that.”
  —Bob, on wearing a rainbow belt at 18, [19:12]

• On Preferences/Size Queenery:
  “I’m not a size queen… I’ve always found a lot of big beauty in a lot of genitals. Call me a hoe.”
  —Bob, [25:36]

  “If you open yourself up, you may find guys with not huge dicks that it will feel just as good, but you’re shunning them... you block them, so you don’t even get the chance.”
  —Monét, [31:36]

• On Friendship Breakups:
  “Not all friendships last a lifetime. Some friendships are just for a season, for a moment.”
  —Monét, [39:43]

• On Relationship Boundaries:
  “You’re not obligated to walk anyone through anything that feels traumatic or re-traumatizing to you. … You don’t have to walk this person through what it means to love yourself as a queer person when you’re figuring it out yourself.”
  —Bob, [49:34]

• On Dating App Fatigue:
  “Bitch, you have fucked everybody. Your clit has left your body.”
  —Bob, [54:56]

• Anatomy Humor:
  “I have a very petite taint. … Not these long gooches!”
  —Bob, [29:47–30:11]

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Timestamps for Key Segments

• 00:10–06:00 — Travel/hotel banter, The Pit Stop, lost wallets
• 06:06–13:48 — Dealing with microaggressions, cancelled concert resents
• 15:27–23:21 — Dressing fem, overcoming fear, rainbow belt & confidence
• 24:03–32:18 — Size queen discourse, genitals positivity, the mystery of the “second hole”
• 36:32–43:41 — Friendship and closure, breakups, moving on
• 46:41–51:12 — Internalized homophobia, boundaries in dating
• 54:11–58:11 — Dating in small cities, app exhaustion, “broadening searches”
• 43:41–61:34 [scattered] — Hotel food shame, southern/St. Lucian cuisine, specialty discussions

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Summary

This episode of Sibling Advicery offers classic Bob and Monét candor: sharp, heartfelt, and often hilarious. They provide real, actionable advice mixed with unfiltered storytelling. From microaggressions about “dangerous” cities to loving yourself in booty shorts, redefining sexual preferences, or letting go of decades-old friendships, the duo emphasizes growth, openness, and self-respect—all with a uniquely queer, Black, and drag-tinged perspective.

Listeners walk away reminded:

• Your feelings are valid, even if “politely” expressed prejudices hurt.
• Queer visibility can be bold, scary, and ultimately empowering—for you and those around you.
• Preferences in bed are natural, but curiosity brings unexpected joy.
• Friendships and relationships shift; prioritize your mental health above obligations.
• Sometimes, you just need to move (or at least, move your Grindr grid).

And as ever, the episode closes not with a grand lesson, but a volley of zingers, food confessions, and affectionate absurdity—leaving listeners entertained, seen, and ready for more.

Transcript

[A]

Boy, hotel WI Fi. It's gonna be great. Why is that funny?

[B]

Because your. Your hotel WI fi is somehow always worse than what mine is for whatever reason.

[A]

Well, the hotel I'm in right now does not give you the option to upgrade. There's no. There's no super booster WI fi. It's just the WI fi that the building comes with.

[B]

So I am on some Marriott Bonvoy ship.

[A]

I'm at La Meridian in Dania Beach, Florida.

[B]

But just the tea, though. Here's the thing. Marriott, Bonvoy, whatever they fucking, they own, like, every hotel Marilyn Bonvoy owns.

[A]

Like, you better come out publicly against the Bonvoy because you know they will ban you and you won't go anywhere, honey. They will ban you. So talk that shit about Bonvoy, they'll say, bonvoy, I'll see you, honey.

[B]

So Bob and I did a pitstop and we did our reverse.

[A]

You scared to see. Yeah, you changed your little walk real quick.

[B]

Oh, my God. No, Fuck Bonvoy anyway. And we did it when we recorded it.

[A]

We didn't do it. They coming to get you right now. They coming to throw you out your room. Fuck who nigga fucking recorded it?

[B]

We didn't do it to any music, but the editor, Joe Gerbino, tried to. Fucking tried to underscore it with the catwalk music. And we sound crazy, Bob. We used to do it separately.

[A]

Joe is not the editor of the Pit Stop. Joe is the producer of the Pit Stop.

[B]

Yes, he is.

[A]

And the director.

[B]

Joe is the editor. Joe is the editor. He edits every episode of the Pit Stop.

[A]

He must have. They must have downgraded my boy. Cause he didn't used to. He didn't used to edit them. Yeah, Nitro. The one man. The one man stop on the Pit. The one man Pit Stop.

[B]

Well, Joe likes to do. Because he. Cause, you know, it's like his baby. I mean, he's just producing it and editing it. What else he doing? He ain't got nothing else to do.

[A]

Sound mixing. He does the color matching, the color correcting. I think he. I think that the producers also. Well, because he works for. Also here's a score to settle which we've addressed on our show before, but everyone knows that the Pit Stop is not a World of Wonder production. It's a Viacom.

[B]

They swear, though. You can't tell them it's not. They swear it is.

[A]

Yeah. The Pit Stop is a separate production from It's Viacom, which is obviously MTV, VH1, Paramount. It's Paramount. Actually, when you go to the building, it says Paramount on it now. It's a Paramount production.

[B]

Yeah, but. Yeah. The Pit Stop. Did you enjoy being on the Pit? Did you enjoy that I allowed you to be my guest on the Pit Stop?

[A]

Honestly, it was really. I had to. It was a very busy day for me, and I had to cancel a lot of stuff to be there. I think I probably lost, I think between three and four million dollars just being. Just turning down other work just to be there that day. So did I enjoy. Felt like nice Charity.

[B]

Please you welcome. I missed you. I haven't seen you in a very long time.

[A]

Call me a.

[B]

No, no, no, no. I called you a. That's what I said.

[A]

That's not what you said, but my memory be clicking very much, Bob. I miss you as well. I. I realized. I just realized. Hold up.

[B]

The weird hair checks must be claring. Honey, she's wearing her out. Apple headphones, honey. But we're here. It's clearing. Honey, she wearing her. Her apple headphones.

[A]

Honey,

[B]

open the door for Patty.

[A]

That's Bonvoy coming to get that ass. That's not Patty.

[B]

Yeah, Patty and I are. Okay, so let me. Let me. Let me give y' all an update. So we are. Which. We have come from the. From la.

[A]

We.

[B]

We're in Greensboro. Spartansville.

[A]

It's Spartanburg, South Carolina. Put some respect on Spartanburg. I'm a celebrity in Spartanburg.

[B]

It was the first episode season two of We're Here. Yes. And then.

[A]

So I'm a celebrity in Spartanburg.

[C]

Bitch.

[A]

Drop my name anywhere, honey. They know me, honey.

[B]

Oh, my God. Anyway, so we had to come here to Spartanburg, and then because of, like, how stuff lined up, we had to take the red eye last night. So we got to Atlanta this morning, connecting to Atlanta, we run to our next stop. We realized Patty left his fanny pack on our flight from Atlanta. So I'm on the plane. So Patty leaves the plane to try to get his wallet. The plane takes a hold of Patty. They can't find Patty's wallet. Did they find it?

[A]

Apparently it's still on the plane.

[B]

It's on a plane to Amsterdam.

[A]

Patty's wallet. Speaking of Bonvoy. Say Bonvoy to that plane. That wallet. Year done. You're done. You're never gonna see that wallet again. Right?

[B]

So then I get to the hotel, because the hotel was like an hour away from Clemson's, an hour away from Spartanburg. So then I get to the hotel and they sold our rooms even though we booked Them for the night before so we could check in early. They sold both of our rooms and all they had was a room with two queen beds available. So Pat and I will be sharing a room in Clemson tonight. So we're having an orgy. If anyone wants to come, you're invited.

[D]

Literally.

[A]

To be honest, a lot of people don't know this, but sharing a room is. Honestly, with your assistant is as sweet as St. Lucia.

[B]

Oh, God, you are.

[E]

So

[A]

we demand sweet as St. Lucia merch. We demand it right now. As sweet as St. Lucia. Honestly, that was. That was one of the highlights of the year for me. I'm calling. I know we're in the first half of the year, but I'm going to call it. That was the highlight. That was the sip rib highlight of 2022.

[B]

Anyways, this is advisory, not rivalry. Shall we get to the advice giving?

[E]

Hey, Bob.

[B]

Hey, Monet.

[E]

My name is Justin and I'm a cisgender gay male. A little backstory. My sister and I were supposed to go see Trigger Warning for Bob Lorde in Chicago, but we had to cancel because my sister's girlfriend felt that it was unsafe for her to go to Chicago because of its, quote, high crime rate. It was a trip that was planned several months ago, but my sister and I compromised and decided to go see her elsewhere. Well, I've been harboring feelings of resentment towards my sister's girlfriend and can't shake them. She was being irrational, but I know that she meant well. What are your thoughts and how do I not hold a grudge in this situation? Sincerely in law rivalry.

[B]

She said they got too many niggas in Chicago. You not going.

[A]

Let me just say that Ella Miragea Loni Yelik o' Connor has been causing a scene in my life for a very long time. So next time.

[B]

Is that Lord's name?

[A]

Yes. Her name is Ella Mirage Lonnie Yellick o'. Connor. That is a name, honey. Miss Thing has a full ass name. Them kiwis.

[B]

Do you know what Lord's. You know her original name? You know her first name was she changed to Lord?

[A]

What doja Cat, Shut the fuck. I know you got Amala Rotten. Rotten. Okay, that is. That is giving. It's giving. It's giving. It's giving. Macro. It's giving aggression.

[B]

Yeah, that is not a micro. That is a macro aggression, bitch.

[A]

It is really weird for someone to be like, I don't go to Chicago because the crime is so bad. It's very much giving. I don't go to the ghetto oh,

[B]

yeah, that is what it is. And I mean, yes, you can say your sister's girlfriend had good intentions, but what is it? What's the saying?

[A]

The word the road to hell is often. I want to actually want to hear your version. I want to hear what you were about to come up with because that was going to be great.

[B]

The pathway to next door has some bad stuff in it or some whatever.

[A]

No, the road to hell is often paid with good intentions.

[B]

Right. So sure, there were good intentions. It was a very aggressive statement to make and it was very rotten. And she's very close minded. And I think that maybe this bitch does not get out. She does not go outside and touch grass in different places. She's only used to sticking in her bubble and feeling safe in her zone, wherever that is, if that is suburbia, wherever she. I don't know this person's life, but

[A]

clearly, meanwhile, she fully lives in Detroit. She's like, right. I don't go to Chicago.

[B]

And in terms of navigating that, I mean, I think if this is your sister's girlfriend. Wait, is this girlfriend's sister?

[A]

I think his sister is his girlfriend. I think they're from Alabama.

[B]

Okay, sister's girlfriend. If this is your sister's girlfriend, you will have to have interactions with this person. And I think that you can be a beacon and try to educate this bitch and be like, listen, you had a thing you said about us not going to see the Lorde concert, and we literally flipped our entire plans around because you felt uncomfortable about your sister going to see Lord. I was like, do you remember that thing you said? Yeah, that is a very. That is a. I mean, maybe you can spell to her as a microaggression, since you're easing her into the conversation. Like, is that.

[A]

That's something.

[B]

That's not something you can say and offer her reasons why that it's inappropriate and how it's hurtful and it's rude.

[A]

Yeah. You know, I've traveled around quite a few places and I lived in quite a few places that have, quote, unquote, high crime rates. You know, I'm from Atlanta. I lived in New York City for 12 years. I've traveled to. I live in Los Angeles. I live in Hollywood, baby. Honey. I live in Hollywood, baby.

[B]

There was a fight outside my. There was a high. There was a crazy fight outside my building last week. I showed Patty the video. This dude came downstairs and slept the shit out of somebody. And I was recording all on my phone. And then I was like, oh, it's done, bitch. Two minutes later I hear, put your hands up. Put your hands up. Two cop cars come out and they have guns pointed at these two black dudes. I was like, I'm about to witness a shooting. It was crazy.

[A]

Yeah. So I think being someone who's lived in a lot of neighborhoods with high crime rates. High crime rates, bitch. I live in Hollywood. It is a wild neighborhood. And I remember I was just walking around the neighborhood one time for the first time, like two months ago, and I was like, oocha ocha. The ghetto, the ghetto. Don't let nobody from Hollywood. Listen all y' all Hollywood folks, bitch, I live in Hollywood. Don't let nobody outside of Hollywood tell y' all this shit is Tinseltown. But tinsel kind of dingy. Okay?

[B]

Yeah, girl. Everybody know Hollywood is a little rough. Hollywood is a little rough.

[A]

But I also really, maybe this is my size privilege. Maybe this is the fact that I'm, you know, six two, I'm perceived male. That it gives me the opportunity to be like, it's not that bad. And maybe, who knows, maybe. Maybe this person is differently abled and doesn't feel comfortable or safe. Maybe they're tiny. Maybe they're. Or maybe it's just a fully able bodied white lady who. Or maybe she's. Maybe she's. Maybe she's a 6 foot 2 black woman. I have no clue. We literally have no clue what this person has going on. But we do know that obviously they don't feel comfortable in areas that are a high crime, which does feel a little shady. But I'm glad it seems that you all found a workaround and maybe you could have a conversation about why, you know, why someone's saying that, especially in a serious connotation. Like, this bitch wasn't joking or nothing. She was dead. She was dead ass. That is wild. That is wild.

[B]

But I hear that kind of stuff. I'm like, so you think that when you get off the plane and is that someone. When you get off the plane, someone is. A stray bullet is just gonna ricochet to you wherever you get off the plan. Just take you out in the head. I'm like, is that what you think is going to happen?

[A]

I mean, in all fairness, my mom did get hit by a stray bullet in Atlanta one time in the head. So in all fairness, bitch, it could happen. I have seen a loved one. I didn't see my mom get hit by a stray bullet, but she did fully get hit by a stray bullet one time in the head. Like, literally, it's Literally everything you just said, minus the plane. Minus the plane part.

[B]

She was in the car taking Cami on somewhere, right? Or picking Cami.

[A]

Yeah, my mom was in the car. I guess I'll do a quick story time. My mom was in the car taking my nephew. Some of them, they were just driving around. They might have been going to get food or something. And she just heard some arguing. And then next thing you know, she has a gunshot. A few gunshots. And then a bullet pierced the two cars in front of her and then pierced her car windshield. And she said that she could, like, see the entire windshield, like, coming at her face because, you know, the windshields are very flexible. They kind of do this so that. And it's so they don't shatter and like, broken glass because it gets everywhere. It's just like, kind of like. Anyway, so the bullet pierced and it hit her literally. Literally between her eyes, broke her glasses. Glasses shattered. And then she had to get, like, emergency surgery.

[B]

I remember you only when you sent me the article. That was wild.

[A]

Oh, yeah, TMZ did a story on it. Yeah, I forgot the tmz. I forgot that TMZ fully did a story on my mom getting shot in gang violence. But my mom has since left the Crips and she is now with the Bloods.

[B]

All right, join the Latin Kings.

[F]

Yeah.

[D]

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[G]

close your eyes, exhale, feel your body relax, and let go of whatever you're carrying today. Well, I'm letting go of the worry that I wouldn't get my new contacts in time for this class. I got them delivered free from 1-800-contacts. Oh, my gosh, they're so fast.

[A]

And breathe. Oh, sorry.

[G]

I almost couldn't breathe when I saw the discount they gave me on my first order. Oh, sorry. Namaste.

[B]

Visit 1-800-contacts.com today to save on your first order.

[A]

1-800-contacts.

[H]

I'm Kiana and I leveled up my business with Shopify. Once I figured out that Shopify was a thing, I never turned back. I can create a site with my eyes closed. Shopify thinks ahead of Us, you know, and it thinks about the customer more than anything. Every day I'm thinking about some other new business, but Shopify is doing it to me because it's so easy to use. It's like, I can't stop. I'm addicted.

[A]

Start your free [e-mail].

[B]

let's listen to the next one.

[I]

Hi, Bob and Monet. Love you both. My name is Tyler. I'm 21. He him, I think. I don't really know. From Monet's true home in the uk, I have a question about dressing to express yourself and the fear of going out in certain clothing or makeup. I'm a film student, and I want to pitch my final grad film about kind of the struggles young queer people have with going out wearing whatever they want to. Something that I guess is very close to my heart, because in an ideal world, I would definitely dress differently if I had the confidence to. And I guess it's less of a question, but more just. I wanted to hear you guys talk about the first time you maybe went out in drag or in a very queer look and how you overcame that fear of judgment and how, I guess, you know, fear of getting, like, physically attacked for wearing a dress and what are the things you have to remind yourself of in order to push past that barrier? And how can you unlearn years of heteronormative socialization in order to do that? Thank you. Love you.

[B]

Yeah, you know, I think that we

[A]

got to name them sincerely, Dress to impress.

[B]

Sincerely. I mean, dress impressed. I get that 100%. You know, I think that the older I get, I'm still learning and I'm still leaning into my. My gender expression with my clothing. Even recently, when I recently went to St. Lucia, because Lucia is a Caribbean island, though it is one of the more liberal islands. And, you know, you know, Aquarius, and, you know, I am on. I am on tv, and a lot of people have seen me on Drag Race and, like, they know who I am that way, but I still. Because it's like, it's so baked into who I am. Like, I, you know, I. And I just dress very queer and very femme, and I have, like, I wear, like, tight, like, little booty shorts, and I wear, like, little tight crop top sweaters, even though I shouldn't be. And, you know, going back to St. Lucia, I was a little nervous to express myself that way because just how I thought people would perceive me. But I think a big part of it is just mustering the courage and knowing, like, bitch, this is who I am. This is how I feel comfortable. And it is a little icky at first because you were like, oh, my God, everyone's looking at me. I feel awkward. But, bitch, just put those fucking booty shorts on or whatever it is you want to wear. The dress, the leggings, whatever it is. And just like, you gotta find that fucking confidence inside of you to just not give a fuck what people are gonna think. I have a tattoo down my back that says what others think of me is none of my business. And I still have to learn that and think about it every time that I wanna express myself in a certain way. Because I always do feel. Because of toxic, toxic masculinity. Sometimes I do feel a little shame and I do feel like a little weirdness. But then I put it on and I just. I get the courage of the Lord God Oprah inside of me. I just feel good. And I just allowed that courage to carry me. And then after like five minutes, I'm over it. But at first, like I said, going back to St. Lucia, I felt a little strange. But I was like, fuck that bitch. If I'm gonna wear these, these tight ass booty shorts to the beach, that's what I'm gonna wear. My family, everyone didn't bat an eyelash. And. But I, in my. In my mind, before, before I did, I was like, oh, my God, they're gonna be like, oh, God, what is he doing? But they didn't care. No one acted differently. It was all good. I think it. It really is doing the work on yourself to find the courage to not give a fuck about people.

[A]

Think maybe you should have got a tattoo somewhere where you can see. I realize, like, you're trying to remind yourself the tattoo.

[B]

Just.

[A]

Just be like

[B]

in the mirror, like.

[A]

Yeah. I remember the first time that I wore something queer. My first time ever feeling really nervous about wearing something very queer. And it's so funny because it wasn't even that queer. This was like. I was 18 years old and I went to Spencer's and I got a rainbow belt. And I was so, like, scared to leave. I put the belt. I was in my house. I might have put the belt on like three or four times before I actually had the courage to leave my house wearing this belt. And I remember putting the belt on and I was like, fuck it, I'm going to the mall. I don't give a fuck. I am going to the mall with my rainbow belt on. I want to wear my rainbow belt, which is. It was a studded Rainbow belt, like. Like, it's so. It's so tacky. I cannot believe I even wore this, but it's so tacky. And I. And I was like. I was probably, like, shaking and, like, I was, like, skinny and, like, walking around long locks, like, scared as hell. But I remember feeling. But I remember feeling liberated when I was able to actually get where I was going. You know what I mean? When I. When I. When I made it to my destination, I remember being like, when I got home, I was like, I can't believe I did that. And then, of course, stepping out in drag, I had a very similar reaction. But nowadays I'm so fucking queer in the way that I dress that I don't even bat an eyelash anymore. And sometimes I don't realize that I'm getting stares. Sometimes the people around me are like, oh, my God, everyone's looking at you.

[B]

And I'm like, oh, are they?

[A]

I had noticed because I'm so used to getting stared at now that I was like, oh, I didn't even realize anyone was staring at me, you know, anyway, Lala. You know.

[B]

Yeah, I agree. And also, it's also like, a little sign to other queer people out there. Like, when I see a really faggy person dressed up in, like, a crop top, blue shows or whatever, I feel a sense of like, look at my little sister over there. Look at family. It really does feel like that you're like, I feel more comfortable in my own skin because I can see. Because I. Because that person, I can see that they are a part of the fam. And I love that. It's like. It's like a. And then. And then when y', all, like, lock eyes, you're like, like, yeah, girl, I. I love that vibe. And it's like, it really is a good way to, like. To, like, signal to other queer people out there, be like, we're there. We're all in. We're all in there together.

[A]

How do we. How do we get a. So I'm looking at all the lists of famous people from St. Lucia. And how do we get you on one of these lists? Because I don't know. I'm not saying these people ain't famous, but I don't know these niggas.

[B]

Read the top five.

[A]

Joseph Marcel is an actor. Joseph Marcel. There's Chris Boucher, who is a Canadian basketball player. There's Darren Sammy, who is a West Indian cricketer. There's Josh Solomon Davies, who is an association football player. Julian Hunt, who is a Saint Lucian politician. Perlette Luisi. Oh, that's an old lady name. Perlette is a governor general of St. Lucia. Oh, Perlette. You know, Perla Perlite. Got the old recipes.

[B]

Honey.

[A]

Perlite make curry goat. Like nobody, honey.

[B]

Well, curry goat is not a popular. I mean, it's West Indies, like, Western. If you wanted to say like a St. Lucian dish, you say something like bouillon or you say something like that. Not curry.

[J]

Go.

[A]

You're the one who always said curry goat. You don't want sneak and curry goat. It must.

[B]

My mom made it one time. It was the one time. It was the one meal.

[J]

She made that.

[A]

You didn't make that clear to me. Okay, that was not clear to me. You didn't say it was a special occasion. And we don't normally have this.

[B]

Bob thinks curry goat is synonymous in St. Lucia.

[A]

It's the national food of St. Lucia. Everyone knows curry coat is the national food.

[K]

Literally.

[A]

Google what is the national food of Saint Lucia? Everyone knows it's curry coat.

[B]

It'll probably be something with, like, breadfruit in it or something. Bouillon, breadfruit, something like that. Have you ever had breadfruit?

[A]

It's salt fish.

[B]

Saltfish. Ew. Saltfish is really. That's interesting.

[A]

Salt fish is St. Lucia's national dish. And usually accompanied by an unripened banana

[B]

plantain. What I should do. What I should do, Bob.

[I]

I should.

[B]

For your YouTube, what we're gonna do is we're gonna have you taste St. Lucia candies and like, three, like, four, like, different St. Lucia meals. Like a little saltfish, a little smoked herring, a little bouillon, a little breakfast.

[A]

You gotta invite me to St. Lucia. I was free. I was sitting at home.

[B]

Were you?

[A]

Yes. I was just sitting at home with

[B]

a planet trip to go.

[A]

I'll bring you to the. I didn't introduce you to my whole family.

[B]

Well, I've spoken to Aunt Hazel a lot on the phone. Obviously. Spoke with your mom a lot. Justin, I never met Uncle Steve. I don't know Aunt Hazel. Your mother, Martha, who's the third aunt, the one used to have the old lady name.

[A]

That's Hazel. They all have old lady names. Felicia, that's my aunt Lisa. Felicia, Hazel, Deborah. Yeah, they all have old lady names. Oh, which. Which names? Yeah.

[K]

Hey, Bob and Monet, my partner of seven years, and I recently moved to New York City and we went open. We only hook up together. And I noticed that we tend to only hook up with, well and down guys.

[A]

This.

[K]

That is what we're working with as well. And it's also what's tended to feel the best to us. I wanted to ask our resident size queen. Monet, change. And also, Bo, is it okay to be a size queen, or should we broaden our horizons? Best size queenery.

[A]

I was like. I just real quick say, I love. I don't know if it'll make the cut, but Jacob, little noises. I love him so much. Jacob's like, all right. He's like, okay, here we go.

[F]

And.

[B]

All right, stop. Stop flirting with your boyfriend. This is not sibling boyfriendry. This is sibling advice.

[A]

Civic size three, apparently.

[B]

Civic size three.

[A]

Is it okay to be a size queen? You know, I will say this. I'm not a size queen. I don't think I've ever been a size queen. I mean, I hook up with people who don't have dicks at all. You know what I mean?

[B]

In other ways. That way. Can't you forgive my.

[A]

What do you mean? Like. Like a. Like a fat pussy? Or like.

[J]

Or.

[H]

Or.

[A]

Yeah, or like a. Or like a humongous clit?

[B]

You're right.

[A]

Yeah, but I'm not, is the answer. I'm not. I'm not. I'm just not a size queen. And there are people who, you know, prefer or don't prefer, you know, big pussies or big clits or, you know, all that stuff, too. And I just never been one of those people. I've. I've always found a lot of big beauty and a lot of genitals. Call me a hoe. Call me a. Yeah. Yeah. And I think that maybe if you. Maybe if you open your horizons, you might find there's something. I mean, there's nothing wrong with liking big dicks. There's nothing inherently wrong with that. I think maybe if you're closing yourself off and being like, I only get by big dicks and nothing else, then maybe you might be missing out on some experiences or some people that you might actually be really sexually compatible with, but you're not allowing yourself to even meet them or to get in the same bed as them because of your sexual preferences. I mean, we can often disguise our biases and our prejudices against different bodies as preferences, but sometimes it's not a disguise. Sometimes they just happen to line up. And so it's the way we were sometimes it's the way we're socialized. It's your experiences. Maybe you had an experience once with. With a person that had a small dick and now you don't like them anymore. No, that's the thing. There's Like, a study that says that, like, if you had, like a. Like a bad. Like a bad breakup, then like, one of those person's physical characteristics can become ugly to you.

[B]

Oh, yeah.

[A]

If you had, like, ex with big ears, and then all of a sudden you are no longer attracted to anyone with big ears. Fuck niggas with big ears.

[B]

I fucking dumbo. Yeah, fuck dumbo.

[A]

And then it's also the vice. If you had, like, a great interaction with someone who had a certain physical characteristic, then all of a sudden you're like, I crave this one thing. What do you think, Mo?

[B]

Yeah, I think there's nothing wrong with being a side screen. If you only like big dicks, then work, like, go off. But I will say now, people always confuse what I said on this podcast. I said that every time I've been fucked by a big dick, it feels good. Like, I've never. I've never met a big. I've never been fucked by a big dick and been like, oh, I hated this in my experiences because I think guys with big dicks take more time to, like, they rim you more or they really, like, get your hold together. Because I know they have a lot of big equipment and you can't just fucking shove that in someone. It's not going to work. That's in my experience. But I've also had good sex with guys with average and smaller penises, too. And. Because if you look at the size, you do not need a big. Well, here's the thing. I'll get back to my thing. Really? Really? In a second. I was having a conversation with some friends. Have you ever heard about this second hole thing?

[A]

And dudes, yeah, I've heard of it.

[F]

Yeah.

[B]

Is that real?

[A]

I am not. Or is it just, like, an urban legend?

[B]

I don't know urban legend.

[A]

I don't know anything about human anatomy.

[B]

It's real. Jacob says it's real.

[A]

I don't know anything about human anatomy, but I've heard about the second hole.

[B]

And when I say the second hole, I think they just mean touching the prostate.

[A]

No, the prostate's not that far in. The prostate is, like, very surface. The prostate is, like, right at the base. The Prostate is, like 2 inches inside.

[B]

It's like 4 inches in. No, it's like 4 inches.

[A]

I think it depends on how long your taint is. I think we discussed that you have, like, a very long taint. Then we. One time on the podcast, you were like, you don't remember this? We were talking about the space between your balls and Your asshole. And you were like. It's like this much. I was like, what? How much space is between your balls and your asshole? That is like. I'm gonna feel right now. I'm gonna see how much space between my balls.

[C]

Okay.

[B]

The space between my balls and my butthole.

[A]

Like the base of your balls. Hold on. Yeah, the base of my balls. Okay.

[H]

Bitch.

[A]

This much space.

[B]

Monet.

[A]

Monet. That is what is happening. Two fingers.

[L]

Are you.

[A]

What?

[B]

That is. It cannot be two fingers. Distance between the base of your balls and your balls.

[A]

Monet. It is. I have a very petite tank. I have a very petite tank. Okay?

[B]

So I think. I think you're the abnormal. I think I'm normal. I think you're abnormal.

[A]

No one has the size of your

[B]

balls and your asshole.

[A]

I think. Can you just measure it? I think that the size of your ass is just making it. This is Monet.

[C]

Do y'.

[L]

All.

[A]

Those of you who are not watching, Monet's holding up four fingers worth of space. And Monet got big nigga hands. Patty said.

[B]

Even Patty is smaller than you. And Patty is at about 3. 3. 3 kind of 4 fingers.

[A]

Wait, maybe.

[J]

I'm.

[A]

I'm counting.

[B]

Thank you, Jake.

[A]

Even J. Bobby, you bitch.

[B]

You're the.

[A]

You're the alien.

[B]

You're the freak.

[A]

Wait, okay, Well, I feel like once I do three fingers, I'm like.

[I]

I'm like.

[A]

I'm on the balls that y'.

[H]

All.

[A]

Y'.

[I]

All.

[A]

Not these. These. These long gooches. So, yeah.

[B]

So, I mean, yes, I agree. You can be a Saxon if you want to. If you only want to have. If you only want to get big dicks. But also, you're like, this is the material me and my partner have. So both you and your boyfriend have big ass dicks? Y' all only people with big dicks. I mean, it sounds like a party that I want to be invited to.

[A]

Cause you're a size queen.

[B]

I'm not a size queen.

[A]

The evidence is damning. The evidence is damning, honey.

[B]

I think there's nothing wrong with being a size queen. If you only like big dicks, that's like your. That's what you want to do. But again, I do agree with Bob. If you open yourself up, you may find guys with not huge dicks, the average dicks, that it will feel just as good, but you're shunning them, because as soon as you see the dick pic, as soon as the dick pic, you block them, so you don't even get the chance to experience them. So I Think you should.

[A]

A prostate is as 2 inches inside of your rectum. So once you're really getting much further than that, what you're hitting is not prostate. That is. I mean, I do. There's clearly something where if your dick is longer, you have more stuff rubbing across the prostate is what. Is probably what it is. So if this is the prostate. If this is. Again, this is for the visual people. If you're not watching, I don't know, get on the patreon. It's some. If this is the. And this is the prostate. So this. All of that is touching it versus this. Kind of like jabbing it, you know?

[B]

Yeah, yeah.

[A]

But again, I'm not a doctor.

[H]

I don't.

[A]

I don't. I don't. I mean, I. I've had a lot of.

[B]

Oh, you know. Are you a regular doctor?

[A]

I'm. I'm. I'm not a fucking doctor. I'm not an eye doctor, and I'm not a fucking. You know. Do you know the different names of doctors?

[B]

Yeah, a pediatrician, an optometrist, an oncologist.

[A]

I'll name the. I'll name the field.

[B]

I don't.

[A]

So I'll name the field and you'll name the doctor. All right. You do feet.

[K]

Okay.

[A]

No googling. Hands up.

[B]

I'm not. I'm not. I just said podiatry. Podiatrist.

[A]

I'm one of the cops downstairs. Stop slapping niggas. Stop slapping, motherfucker. Okay, what about. What about a doctor who does braces?

[B]

Orthodontist.

[A]

How about an who works with eyes?

[B]

Optometrist. Skin dermatologist.

[A]

Oh, how about a. A babies like little kids?

[B]

Pediatrician.

[A]

How about. I can't. I can't think of any other fields. I know a lot about cancer.

[B]

Oncologist. Ooh, something. Urethra. A urethralogist.

[A]

It's not just dicks, but a urologist.

[B]

A urologist. Right, right, right.

[A]

How about the anus? Ooh, I know blood doctors. I think that's a proctologist.

[B]

Yeah, I think you're right. Yeah.

[A]

And how about pussies?

[B]

Obgyn or gynecologist? Gynecologist.

[A]

I would say to any gynecologist out there who specialize in trans men, I'm just gonna throw this out there. You can promote yourself as a B O Y O B, G, Y, N.

[B]

B O Y. What the. Bring your own boy.

[A]

B O, Y O, B, G Y

[B]

N. Oh, I was like, bring your own. What? This sounds problematic. Wherever.

[A]

No, that's where we're going. So if you want to I'm not, I'm not a again, I'm not A O G by N so if you want to use that B O Y N, feel free, you know you're welcome. Just send me 100 bucks.

[L]

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[G]

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[B]

Let's do the next question. Roberto Howdy y'.

[C]

All.

[J]

My name is Abe. I'm a new sibling on your Patreon. I've been listening to y' all for years. Love everything y' all do. I had a quick question about friendship. Have y' all ever had a falling out with like a really close friend of Yalls or someone that you would consider family? And is there ever such thing as closure in those situations? You know, I'm not someone who holds a grudge or is spiteful of anyone. You know, I've had a couple falling outs with like a couple friends actually this past couple years and I love them with my whole heart. But I just know like at this moment in time, like, I just can't

[A]

be there like I just.

[J]

They can't be their friend right now, you know, for whatever reason.

[A]

Have you ever had to deal with that?

[J]

You have any advice and just moving forward, you know, I love them, but at the same time, they're just not good for me, you know? It's just a toxic situation all around. Let me know what y' all think. Love y'.

[F]

All. Bye.

[B]

Oh, my God. He sounds so troubled.

[A]

Yeah, they're going through it, Mary. Poor baby. You're up, Mom.

[B]

Yeah. I've never. I. I don't have falling out with friends. Like, of course I have disagreements with friends. I mean, we may, like, not talk for a day or two or a week, whatever, but I'm not someone who falls out with my friends. And, like, we're, like, cussing each other out. And that's just not my experience with any of my friends. Bob and I have never really had anything like that again. We've had arguments. We won't talk for a few days or a week, and then Bob will.

[A]

A week.

[B]

And then Bob will.

[A]

That has never. A week. It's about to come up right now. Say that again.

[B]

Not with dejuan. Not with Kameka. Not with Arcia.

[A]

You and Kamika were having out one time. There was one time you and Kamika were having it out. That was like, a week. You and Kamika. I don't know if you remember this, but you and Kameka were, like, arguing about something. Something. You were like, I'm mad at Kamika right now. And I was like, I don't remember this. I can't remember what it was. Obviously, even if I did, I wouldn't air it out.

[B]

But you were like, this happened years ago, back when you were in New York.

[A]

It was during the Panda replay, or maybe. Maybe right before. There was something. There was a thing where I was, like, mediating. I was literally mediating between you and Kameka. It was something y' all were mad at each other about. And I remember being like, kameka, what's going on with you and Monet right now?

[B]

I don't remember this. The only other person maybe, is, like, just Jay. Jay and I. Well, only one time Jay and I had a thing. It was when. It was when I. It's when I was leaving pieces on Monday. Yeah, Jay was not. Because Jay. It was part owners of the bar that I was leaving to go to the other bar. And Jay was, like, beside us, said that I was leaving, and we kind of had a little thing, but we be squashed, and we fix that. So. But that's probably the last time. And that was like maybe over eight years ago. This is a long time ago. So wait, so aside. Now I can't remember what his. He wants advice on how to fix it.

[A]

Like, is there reconciliation? Have you, have you been in a situation like this?

[B]

Oh yeah, I hear. That's what I'm saying. I was like, you know what? Sometimes friendships run their course. There are people that I was friends with a couple of years ago that I'm not friends with anymore. Like, not like I terminated the friendship, but we're just not as close as we used to. I do think that not, not all friendships last a lifetime. Some friendships are just for a season, for a moment. And I think I truly believe that. And so I think you need to analyze this relationship. Like, is this a friendship that you want to keep on with this person? Is this, is this, is this a friendship that is benefiting me or is it only causing me anguish, pain, annoying annoyance? Like if that's the case, then why do you need that energy in your life and that person? Maybe they, you just, you just in, in your mind, in your space, you demote them. So maybe they're not your best friend anymore. They're just a friend. Everybody just a friend. They're not one of my friends. You're just an associate. And you just. And you navigate that for your, for yourself. Because, bitch, your own mental health and your own well being, that's what you need to prioritize. I think people, and I'm guilty of this too, I tend to take other people's feelings into consideration too much and not think about myself. So I think that you need to really analyze and assess what that relationship is and if you still need to have it in your life.

[A]

When does that kick in? When do you start taking people's feelings.

[B]

Shut the fuck up.

[A]

When does that start?

[B]

Whatever.

[A]

You know, I have had falling outs with friends. I am, I am comfortable cutting people out of my life. I am very comfortable doing it. And you know, when I was in. Oh my God, I feel like I have so many to choose from. You know, when I was in college, my long term friend who I was like my high, she was like my high school best friend. Her and I had a falling out. Like I remember going away to do this gig and when I came back from the gig, it was like a year. We had just changed so much. Our personalities had just shifted so much that I was like, we had to literally have a discussion. We were like, okay, we're literally just roommates now. That is all we are. Like, do not come into my room. Do not invite me to hang out with you.

[E]

Do not.

[A]

If you have any bills, put them in the little box. We'll pay the bills. We'll put our money in together. You'll do this one. You'll give me money for rent. And that's. And it's a wrap, Mary, you're done. You're done. You're done. And one of my close, close drag sisters and I had a falling out years ago.

[B]

And because of me.

[A]

Not, not.

[B]

Not completely, not fully, but I was a little piece of it. And I was like, I will beat that bitch up. I don't care.

[A]

Well, I just wanted to say that her and I, we're cool again. So I'm not trying to struggle.

[B]

Well, back then. Not now. Back then, I would have beat her up.

[A]

Yeah, she was kind of annoyed that me and Monet were hanging out so much. And then she said that she was having a little bit of jealousy. And then. And then she just admitted to me down the line, after we had, like, fallen out, she was like, I was a little bit jealous. And then. And then we. Our friendship never quite recovered, but the way that it was before. But we're, like, cool. So most of the people that I've had, I've had, like, three falling outs. I mean, this is also since I was, like, 18 years old to now 35. And me and all those people are, like, cool, but we are not how we used to be, because all those people. All those people were, like, people that I was, like, inseparable from. Like, it was one of those things where if you see one, you always see the other. And I think the reason why me and monetary, I've matured a lot before me and Monet became really close friends. And Monet and I are best friends, but we're not inseparable. It's not like every time you see one of us, like, me and these three friends specifically was like, you literally, if we didn't live together, you would just wake up and go straight to their house. Like, literally wake up. The first thing you do, sip some coffee, and then go to the other person's house and spend every hour of your day together. And I just used to be one of the. One of those people that had those relationships. But as I got older, I don't do that anymore. It is not. I need a little time to myself.

[B]

Tell me about these very expensive headphones.

[A]

What about them? They're headphones. I purchased them at the airport. They're actually cheaper at the airport LAX, and they are at Target, like, 20 bucks cheaper. I was like, not these airport. These expensive as airport headphones. And I googled it, and they were cheaper there than at the Apple Store and at Target. And I was like, okay, I'll buy

[B]

these and how's the sound?

[A]

Okay, Full disclosure, they're a little hard to pair to things sometimes. Like, the first time.

[B]

Okay, this is your struggle. This is your gripe about every Bluetooth headphones. The Beats, to you, they would never pair to anything. But I never experienced.

[A]

Do you remember the Beats? Like, one would pair and the other one wouldn't. I'm walking around lopsided and shit. Because you never had that problem before

[B]

a couple times, but you was like. Every time you used them, you were like, God damn it.

[A]

It was wild. And it wasn't matter what device I used them with, whether it was with my iPad, my Samsung, my laptop computer, it was always one would pair, the other one wouldn't. But I will say the Beats. The grip on the Beats were just supreme. It was the kind that curved around the ear. Bitch. I could be in a tornado and all my clothes would fly off, but I would still be listening to Doja Cat. Okay. And then I do the Samsung, the small Samsung wearables, which are really great. They're phenomenal headphones. I love those a lot. I had a pair of AirPods that I do not like.

[B]

I hate AirPods.

[A]

When I say they will. When I say they will not say my ear. If you sneeze, they will fall out your hair. Fall out your hair.

[B]

If I just think about doing the

[A]

podcast, it's a bloop, right? And these are. These are. But these are pretty good. But once I figured out how to pair them, it was pretty great. So now I can pair them with each of my devices pretty easily.

[B]

So is that the thing? Is that annoying thing that when you have a Bluetooth headphones and you open them and they. They sync, they connect to everything but the thing you want to connect it to. Oh, yeah, all your Bluetooth is on.

[A]

Yeah, that is. Yeah. Not our first world problems. All right, Jacob, what's up? What's our next move? I'll shut the up about my pain. Effie, we all got pains. I think I ate a real quick. I think I ate a rough chip. I think I jammed a Dorito in there.

[F]

Ooh.

[B]

Honestly, can I tell you one of the most relatable things you've ever done? And I stand. It's the most relatable thing you've ever posted. Ever said.

[A]

What? What did I say?

[B]

A fully seasoned Dorito Cooler Ranch Chip.

[H]

Oh.

[B]

Is like, striking gold.

[A]

That shit is wild.

[B]

The tanginess, the salt, the tangy.

[A]

That shit be the flavors that melting on my tongue.

[B]

It's so good.

[C]

Anyway.

[B]

All right, let's go.

[A]

All right. Sorry. All right, Jacob, play a little clip. Hey, guys.

[C]

So I was seeing this guy, and we went on a couple dates. It was nice. We never really got into a former relationship, but he was really nice, everything. And then slowly, slowly it started to unfold that he had a lot of internalized homophobia. And I relate to that in a sense because I also come from quite like a homophobic background. So I also had that at one point, but I am no longer there. I am not at that stage in my life anymore. So I felt like I needed to end the relationship because he was making comments that made me kind of uncomfortable. And I understand, but I don't want to be the person to walk somewhere else through that just because I've only recently come out the other end of internalized homophobia. Am I an evil person for doing that? I felt like I was completely justified in my decision to end it, especially because we weren't in a relationship. We were just, like, dating, you know, I just didn't feel like I wanted to take on that burden. So let me know what you guys think.

[B]

You're up, Roberta.

[A]

Okay. My toxic trait is thinking that you. You don't need. If you don't want to date someone, you don't have to give them a reason. It's nice to. You don't need to write a dissertation and have it be your thesis and have a PowerPoint presentation. You can stop dating someone.

[B]

Like a couple.

[A]

I disagree. If you're not happy with someone, you can leave. And if you're not able to articulate or.

[B]

Ezra,

[A]

if.

[C]

Me. If.

[A]

If for some reason Jacob's not happy and he can't articulate why, if he just says, I'm just not happy, I'll be really heartbroken. I'll be distraught. I'll be. I'll probably ask why, but it's. I'm not. I'm not owed that answer. Sometimes people are just. Sometimes people can't articulate themselves. They just. They can't explain why they feel, how they feel. They just know they feel the way they do.

[B]

Okay, that. That. I thought you meant just, like, I'm done relationship. I'm out. But, like, saying, like, I'm just not happy. To me, that's an explanation. That's fair. I'm not happy anymore. I thought you just like, I don't want to be here anymore. This was nice. I'm out. Like what?

[A]

I think people are also allowed to do that too. I mean, I think it's probably a little bit shady and it might leave someone with a lot of questions, but if it's for your own mental health, if what makes you. If what will be better for your mental health is just leaving the situation, then just leave the situation. If that's what, if that's what's gonna help you get through your day, you know, if that's how you protect yourself and protect your peace. You know what I mean?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

But that being said, I don't, I don't think that you're, that you're shady for. You know, you also are not obligated to walk any, to teach anyone, or to walk anyone through anything that feels traumatic or re. Traumatizing to you. You don't have to walk this person through what it means to love yourself as a queer person when you're figuring it out yourself at the same time. You know, that is a. What's the word I'm looking for? A privilege, not a requirement. In my opinion. In a relationship, you do not have to walk people through their trauma, especially if it's triggering to you and you don't want to go through that again.

[B]

Yeah, I agree. I don't think you're an evil person for not wanting to have to relive that and not wanting to have to, to teach this person about the internalized homophobia. That is not your business. You're not his teacher, you're not his, his parent, you're not his. And you don't, you don't owe this, this, this to this guy. That's what I say. And yeah, I think that, I think that. Walk away. And I mean, how long were y' all together? I guess it doesn't matter because you, whatever it was, it was short. It wasn't like y' all were like partners for like years. This was a short lived experience. I was like, so you had that thing with him and yeah, fuck that bitch. You know, you don't owe that to him. He needs to process his own stuff and, you know, however that may be. And there's something you said. I was like, oh my God, I hate when people do that. I forgot.

[A]

What, something I said?

[B]

No, not you, the person. But it wasn't that big of a deal. But yeah, I don't think you owe it to him. I think that you did your part. You tried to do this relationship, and you saw the things about it that you did not like, and that would make you unhappy, and you dipped. So I think you're all good.

[K]

Boo.

[A]

When you're in hotels, if you eat something unhealthy, do you put it outside your door, or do you put it in front of someone else's door?

[B]

Well, I have had times I've gone to hotels, and I went wild. Like, I would order from, like, three restaurants, and then I'll just spread around. I put, like, one in front of 202, one in front of 205, and one in front of my door.

[A]

I mean, where room Shangela. And I'm putting all this shit in front of Shangela door. Damn, Shangela. Damn. Three pizzas. Because I was here in the hotel, and then I ordered some Taco Bell, but I didn't want Kennedy coming by and seeing all my Taco Bell, so I just took. I just took it and put it in front of somebody else's door. I was like, oh, my God, not the Taco Bell. That person is wild. Also, I ordered Taco Bell. And the lady. I don't actually. I don't know who delivered the food. It was some guy delivered the food. And I'm in Florida, mind you. I am in Dania beach, which is a suburb of Fort Lauderdale, Florida. Okay? So ring, ring, ring. Hi. Your food's at the front desk. I am in. I'm in face with no lashes. I'm also. I was having a very irritable day yesterday. I was like. I was annoyed and irritated off the bat. I was sitting here in face, and she's like, yeah. I said, can you send them up? I know I can't send them up because of. Because of COVID protocols. I can't send them up.

[B]

They want to blame everything on Covid. Shut the fuck up. Yes, you can. Go ahead.

[A]

I said, well, can someone from the staff bring it up? I can't have them bring it up either, because of COVID And I was like, so no one's even allowed on the floor? And I said, Covid. I said, no one is even wearing. None of your employees wear masks. What do you mean, COVID protocols? What. What COVID protocols could you possibly be talking about? Am I frozen? Who's frozen?

[B]

Go. Go back to. No one, even. That's where you cut off.

[A]

Oh, I was like. I was like, no one. None of your employees even wear masks. So what do you. What pro. What COVID protocols. Mary what do you mean? COVID protocols, bitch. I went downstairs to pick up my. My fucking food, and I'm literally not kidding. Five employees were huddled around one computer, breathing over my Doritos Locos tacos. I said, give me my drop.

[B]

Drives me insane.

[A]

I'm in full. And then I got downstairs, there was like. There was like some production or camera crew or like football team or something all loading into the elevator. So then I had to get in line behind. And they had these like, carts. I mean. I mean, carts piled stuff higher than their heads. You know, you can't even get the car. They're wiggling that to get in. I was like, I'm so annoyed right now.

[B]

Anyway, yeah, I hate that. I hate that. I hate that. It's so annoying. And they'll blame it on Covid. No, bitch, you just don't want to do that.

[A]

Let's do one more.

[B]

Let's do it.

[F]

Hi, Bob and Monet. I'm Anthony from Patreon. So I've been on the dating scene in my city for about five years now, and I feel like I saturated all the guys in my city in like a 50 kilometer radius. So on all the dating apps like JAT, Grindr, and even Tinder, I feel like I'm seeing the same faces. I've met guys in person, too. Like, I've dated my dance instructor. I've dated a barista at a local Starbucks, for example. But at this point, I feel like there's just. I can't find anyone else in my city. So do you have any recommendations as to how I can meet new guys? Or do you just think I need to move to a new city? Thank you and I love you both. Bye.

[A]

Bitch, you have fucked everybody.

[B]

Your clit has left your body. To quote what's her name? That girl on Housewives of Atlanta? Tanini.

[A]

Honestly, I stand. Whoever Ethany must be, the Ethany is clearly the hottest person in whatever town they live in. Anthony. Anthony, honestly, you're a hero. Not all heroes wear capes. Some of them take pride and some

[B]

of them use Tinder. Yeah, I think. Listen, I think that, you know, if you're in a small city, back in New York, I felt like I had exhausted my Grinder grid, but it was also cause I was in my area.

[A]

Damn.

[B]

In my area. When I was living in Harlem, I was like. I was seeing the same profile.

[A]

Not in a city with 9 million people when they.

[B]

I fuck, but no, but in the grid. Anyone that I was interested in anyway. Like, I was like. I was seeing the same ones over and over again. And, like, the same people hit you up. So I understand that that's New York City. Maybe. Maybe try, like, looking in, like, another part of your city and to find dick over there. Or are you. But you also said using Tinder. But although people use Tinder to fuck nowadays too. Tinder is not even just for dating. Tinder is, like, for hooking up, just, like, as much as Grindr is nowadays. So if you're looking to date, I would say just try going. Try when you go downtown to, like, the thing or if it's a really small town. I don't know, like, are you talking about, like, Salt Lake City? That's relatively small compared to, like, New York City or la. But, yeah, if it's a small city. I don't know, girl. I don't know what the solution is besides moving.

[A]

If you're in a city, in my experience, if you're in New York City and you don't like your grid, literally, literally, shift five blocks, refresh, and you will have a completely new grid. I mean, you won't see a single person from the old grid. That's how gay New York City is. You know, I. I want to throw out a notion. I don't know if you're talking about fucking or if you're talking about dating. If you're talking about dating, is there an. Is there a possibility that you're looking for something that can't be found? I'm just throwing this out there. If you're, like, if you have fucked. If not fucked, or hooked up with or been on dates with or gone to coffee with every. I mean, the dance instructor, the barista. You said bitch. The school teacher, the butcher, the baker, and the candlestick maker. You know what I mean? I think that there's a small chance that you might be looking for something that can't be found. Maybe it's time to shift your perspective on what you're looking for. Maybe that's a possibility. You may have already found a person that you're compatible with, but for some reason, you couldn't see it in the moment. And also, there's a thing where sometimes you go back someone you weren't compatible with, and then you look back, and then, damn, y' all compatible now. You know what I mean?

[B]

Yeah, I think that is. I could also recommend taking a break, too. Taking a break. Take like a week. Take a month off of the apps. Because then. Cause people, they cycle through those things. So people take time off and they come back. I would say, just take a month off and be like, I'm not gonna do this. And let yourself like, re. Re. Re. Reset.

[A]

Yeah, I agree. And. And maybe if. If you are looking to date, then maybe shift your. Your mindset to that. You know, I think it really depends on what you are, what your expectations are from this. This person. Monet, you know, on our very next advisory, we have Chelsea Hand.

[B]

Chelsea Handler is going to be on sibling advisory. Should we tell. I guess we'll tell her the story about how it. We'll talk to her. Story about how it all came to be.

[A]

How you chasing her around the globe. You're the Globetrotter. And then where in the world is fucking Chelsea Handler?

[B]

Is that Carmen Sandiego theme song?

[A]

Yeah. Do you know that song at all? It's actually not Carmen Sand. It's where in the World is Carmen San Diego theme song. There's two different shows. Carmen Sandiego was one show. And then where in the World is Carmen? San Diego was a game show based on Carmen Sandiego.

[B]

I never watched it as a kid. I know it because it's like a. It's a, you know, it's a pop culture thing. Carmen Sandiego. But I never watched the show. I didn't. It was my thing.

[A]

Well, she goes from Nashville to Norway, Bonaire to Zimbabwe, Chicago to Czechoslovakia and back. And then she'll ransack Pakistan and run a scam in Scandinavia. Then she'll stick them up down under and then she'll go pickpocket Perth. Then ever Arkansas is still the Mekong from the jungle. Tell me where the world's coming to San Diego.

[B]

Patty and I have a Bojangles outside our hotel. It's taken me everything within my spirit to not go to fucking Bojangles and go ham.

[A]

Bojangles is great. The cheddar bow, bitch.

[B]

Trust me. Don't I know it. That fucking. That fucking blueberry, iceberry little biscuit thing. Girl, I am. But I'm not doing it. I'm not doing it. I'm doing. Well, I have to go to a wedding at the end of this month. No.

[A]

I have a wedding at this month.

[B]

No.

[A]

This is what you would say to me. This is what you said to me. Maybe you were sabotaging me. Maybe that was what was going on.

[B]

No, but I know me. I don't have self control.

[A]

What I've learned is this is not gonna name the app, but there's an app I use to count calories. And instead of restricting all the things I eat, I just eat things I like, but I just eat them in moderation. I just. I eat the amount of calories a day. When I started counting my calories, I realized. When I realized I was. There were days where your girl was eating a solid 3,500 calories. I was like, damn.

[B]

You know?

[A]

But then it was. But it's so easy when you. When you get. I would go to the store and just get like. I would be like, oh, I really want these jalapeno cheddar Cheetos, but I also want these cool ranch Doritos. But I also want these ranch ruffle leg. You know, I'll just get all three, and then you just eat all three. And then before you realize that you have fully eaten a thousand calories, 2,000

[B]

calories in 20 minutes.

[A]

And then you're like, I'll get a soda. And then I would. I'll order Taco Bell. And then I'll get the Doritos Locos, but I'll also get a Crunch Wrap, like a Crunch or a cheesy Gordita Crunch. And I'll get some of those Cinnabon, those little cinnamon. Then I've had another 2,500 calories. And then I'm like, I'm gonna stop by and get a slice of pizza. Next time I look up, I'm like, bitch, I have eaten almost 5,000 calories today. This is wild. I'm not bodybuilding. I'm not a bodybuilder. I don't need 5,000 calories.

[B]

I went to St. Lucia, and I gained seven pounds. Isn't that wild? I mean, you were with your family six days, bitch.

[A]

My family forces Jacob to stop being vegetarian.

[B]

I'd be like, damn, that's my family, too.

[A]

My family would be like.

[B]

But they would show you vegetarians, you

[A]

can have, like, you can have fish, right? Jacob ate chitlins when he was.

[B]

When he was with my family, and he loves them.

[A]

I just want to clear my family's name. We do not fry our chitlins. I just want to be clear that the chitlins were not fried. I don't want y' all thinking we are bad southerners.

[B]

How are they? How do you do that?

[A]

You boil chitlins.

[K]

Got it.

[A]

You ever had chitlins before?

[B]

I have not. We don't. We don't. That's not something we have. But we do have. We do. In bouillon, you put, like, pigtails. You put pig snout. I love pig snout, and I love pigtails.

[A]

My mom used to eat Pickled pig feet. And it's exactly what you think it is. A pig's foot in a jar of vinegar. Pickled.

[B]

That's in South. We use pig feed in South.

[A]

Wait, how do you spell bouillon? I want to see what it is real quick.

[B]

B, O, U, L, L, O, N.

[A]

Oh, like, oh, like, like, oh, like, like, like a bouillon cube.

[B]

Yeah, but that's not what it is. It's like a. Yeah, but that's not what it is.

[A]

Do you know what a bouillon cube is? I know what a bouillon cube is.

[B]

Did you type in St. Lucia bouillon?

[A]

No, I just have to bring on St. Lou. St. Lucia. I just want to say out loud, we have to get Monet on the famous St. Lucian's list. I'm not saying the other people are not famous, but I'm just saying, do they have over a million followers on the gram?

[B]

They probably don't, but here we are. Yes.

[A]

Before we go, tell us who the most famous St. Lucian. You know,

[B]

almost famous Saint Lucian. I know. I don't know, to be honest.

[A]

Not one. They're trying to say herself. Not only subtly saying herself. Wow, it do take nerve. There you go.

[C]

1A.

[A]

Who's the most famous Saint Lucian? I don't know. Literally, this whole.

[B]

No, that's your. That's your cringy little tick tock, old man.

[A]

This is not tick tock. This is actually Kate McKinnon on SNL being Justin Bieber.

[B]

Yeah, but this is a very. This is. This. This is what, like all the young kids do this. This is their thing. They do that.

[A]

This is specifically Kate McKinnon doing Justin Bieber on SNL because he was doing this. I know, I get that, but I'm telling you what I'm referencing. He did it on the Calvin Klein shit.

[B]

So you think. So you think that Kate. You think that Justin Bieber invented that? So you think Justin Bieber invented that?

[A]

That's not what I said. I also. I don't think we'd ever be able to pinpoint who invented rubbing your hands together in an attempt.

[B]

Oh, yes, it was a basketball player. I don't know his name, but anytime he would do a shot, it was on the same team as the guy who used to do ice in my veins. He would do a shot.

[A]

You are making this up.

[B]

This guy, he would get a shot in and he would be like, yay. Or maybe it's football. It is a sports thing, though. This comes from a sport thing.

[A]

It's football. He would dunk the football and then go. He would get a shot and go, whatever. I don't even know how to Google that. Rubbing hands together. Sexy.

[B]

Suave. Something.

[A]

Does rubbing your hands together similar Rubbing your hands together? Honestly, I literally cannot even. I wouldn't even know how to.

[B]

Convenient. Conveniently,

[A]

no. I have no way to Google this. I'll just take you for sure. It was on the same team as Ice in the Veins.

[B]

Not the same team, but it was. I. It was a sports thing. It comes from a sports thing. And you guys can let me know in the comments that I'm correct. Thank you.

[A]

All right, bye, everybody.