Sibling Advicery: TikTok Kids/Drunk at Work

Summary

Sibling Rivalry – "Sibling Advicery: TikTok Kids / Drunk at Work"

Date: February 7, 2022
Hosts: Bob the Drag Queen & Monét X Change

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Episode Overview

This episode of Sibling Rivalry centers on the duo’s signature advice segment, Sibling Advicery, where Bob and Monét tackle listener questions covering everything from celebrity drama (Kim, Kanye, and the TikTok Kids) to sticky situations at work, and all things drag performance. Their discussion is full of humor, sharp observations, and candid personal stories, particularly touching on public divorces, conflicting values in dating, queer relationships, and maintaining professionalism in nightlife.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

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Celebrity Catch-up & Public Family Drama

(00:39–19:40)

• Chelsea Handler canceled show woes: Monét shares her frustration at traveling to Portland for a Chelsea Handler performance, only for it to be canceled last minute.
  • “I am so mad.” –Monét (08:39)
• Gig etiquette: Bob debates the dilemma of turning down a lucrative TV gig to avoid canceling on his fans.
  • “It feels bad to cancel the show. You don’t know what someone’s doing to come.” –Bob (11:55)
• Celebrity couples & pop culture: Brief asides about celebrity pairings and awareness (Kristen Bell & Dax Shepard, Kim & Kanye, Rihanna & ASAP Rocky).
• Kim & Kanye public feud over daughter’s TikTok:
  • Kanye posts a plea about daughter North being on TikTok against his will. Bob and Monét break down the public drama, with Monét insisting Kanye could take legal action, given North’s age (08), and Bob noting the ethical complexities of co-parenting in the spotlight.
  • Quote: “I think that you can pursue legal action and you can sue that bitch and get your kid because… there are inappropriate things that happen on this app.” –Monét (15:42)
  • Bob reads Kim’s rebuttal aloud, emphasizing her struggle as the main caregiver:
    “Kanye’s constant attacks on me… is actually more hurtful than any TikToks North might create.” –Kim Kardashian (18:12, as read by Bob)

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Personal Reflections on Divorce & Family

(19:41–28:40)

• Bob and Monét share their own family structures, experience (or lack of) with parental divorce, and how those dynamics influenced them.
• Monét describes how her parents, though divorced, remained close and cooperative (“My mom still takes care of my dad...they’re friends”), giving a warm, nuanced perspective on post-divorce family.
• Bob humorously details how he cannot imagine his own parents as a couple:
  • “It’d be wild to imagine Frank Pridget and Martha Caldwell as an item.” –Bob (26:53)
• Memorable Moment: Monét explains her dad’s role in seasoning meat for the family during the holidays.
  • “My mom doesn’t like seasoning meat, so my dad would do it for her.” –Monét (24:54)

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Sibling Advicery: Listener Questions

(28:41–01:04:11)

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1. Dating a Hot Conservative (28:57–33:57)

• Listener Dilemma: Dating a gorgeous, otherwise great guy—except he’s conservative enough to say “build the wall,” which is a no-go for a Mexican listener.
• Advice:
  • Monét is adamant:
    “If you’re not trying to pursue a relationship, fine, fuck them all you want. … But if you’re trying to pursue a relationship or something romantic, you know it will never work out for you.” (30:02)
  • Bob affirms that fundamental political differences, especially ones affecting identity, are often irreconcilable.
  • Both acknowledge rare exceptions exist but stand by political/cultural compatibility as core to relationship success.

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2. Apologizing When You’re Not Sorry (34:08–39:34)

• Listener Dilemma: Queer woman feels pressured by her wife to apologize even when she feels she’s done nothing wrong.
• Advice:
  • Both advise against insincere apologies, emphasizing honest communication over appeasement.
    • “If you don’t feel like you did anything wrong, I don’t think you should apologize.” –Bob (35:52)
  • They note the importance of understanding vs. blanket guilt—Bob compares this to “admitting fault in a car accident.”
  • Monét acknowledges sometimes a trivial apology might smooth things over, but draws the line at bigger issues.

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3. Is My Straight Roommate Sending Mixed Signals? (40:34–46:23)

• Listener Dilemma: Gay listener confesses to a straight male roommate who demurs (“undeserving of your feelings”) but continues “mixed signals” (e.g. suggestive hugs).
• Advice:
  • Bob and Monét are unified:
    “He gave you the signal: it was a sign and it said stop.” –Bob (43:29)
  • Both urge the listener to believe the straightforward response—not movie-fantasy wishfulness—and to protect their own mental health.
    • “You’re in a prison of your own desire. Release yourself from these shackles.” –Bob (44:42)
  • Monét brings up the toxicity of chasing “down-low” straight men:
    “You deserve open and free love.” –Monét (46:23)

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4. Help! My Boyfriend’s butthole is Too Tight (47:19–51:23)

• Listener Dilemma: Top struggles with boyfriend’s “vice-grip” bottom; spit, not lube, is preferred; poppers are illegal in Canada.
• Advice:
  • Bob suggests practical sex toys:
    “Just get a butt plug… you just spit on the butt plug and pop it in his ass.” (49:13)
  • Monét emphasizes communication and trying incremental sizes.
  • They also riff on whether the issue is the bottom’s tightness or potentially the top’s “wrist-thick” dick.

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5. Drinking on the Job: Nightlife Messiness (51:23–57:19)

• Listener Dilemma: Working in NYC nightlife, how do you handle colleagues drinking the job?
• Advice / Debate:
  • Bob’s “straight-edge” view:
    “Drinking at work is a bad idea. ... You want to be professional.” (52:01)
    • Cites past incidents of colleagues’ drunken chaos—drag queens fighting, DJs “fully drugged out.”
  • Monét’s moderate take:
    “I drink… but again, I’m someone who can handle my liquor. ... But I have worked with girls who get fucking obliterated.” (54:22)
    • Defends moderate drinking but agrees excessive intoxication is unprofessional.
  • Both acknowledge that drag nightlife is a specific culture, but endorse responsibility.

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6. Drag Queen Hair: Do I Have to Learn? (58:29–63:53)

• Listener Dilemma: New drag queen, good at sewing/performing but bad at wigs—should she focus her efforts elsewhere?
• Advice:
  • Monét: “There’s no shame in getting shake-and-go wigs… People love to read you, but mind your business.”
  • If hair is holding you back, YouTube tutorials (esp. James Mansfield’s) are invaluable.
  • Bob recommends perfecting at least one reliable technique (a good bun, hairline fix, etc.) and outsourcing when able. “Learn one trick you really feel confident in… but outside of that, it’s OK to outsource once you get the money.” (63:35)
• Memorable Moment: Monét’s awe at Bob’s legendary, catastrophic-proof red curly Drag Race wig—“It was honestly a modern marvel.” (62:39)

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On public co-parenting:
  “Kanye’s constant attacks on me… is more hurtful than any TikToks North might create.”
  – Kim Kardashian, read by Bob (18:12)

• On value mismatches:
  “Slurp the nut out of that conservative dick… but if you’re trying to pursue a relationship, you know it will never work out for you.”
  – Monét (30:02)

• On mixed signals:
  “You are in a prison of your own desire. Release yourself from these shackles.”
  – Bob (44:42)

• On apologizing insincerely:
  “I think that telling your partner you’re sorry when you’re not sorry can lead to some confusion down the line.”
  – Bob (37:17)

• On drag hair struggles:
  “There are queens… either you are a queen who’s a really good performer and you can do good hair but you can’t sew…”
  – Monét (59:09)

• On moderation at work:
  “I think that drinking at work is a bad idea. … I have seen drag queens get so drunk they flip tables.”
  – Bob (52:01)

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Timestamps for Important Segments

• Chelsea Handler canceled / Gig etiquette discussion: 08:14–11:55
• Kim & Kanye TikTok Kids discourse: 13:34–20:52
• Divorce and growing up with separated parents: 23:59–27:52
• Listener 1: Hot Conservative dilemma: 28:57–33:57
• Listener 2: Apologizing when not at fault: 34:08–39:34
• Listener 3: Roommate mixed signals: 40:34–46:23
• Listener 4: Tight butthole struggles: 47:12–51:23
• Listener 5: Drinking at work in nightlife: 51:23–57:19
• Listener 6: Drag hair “crunchiness” crisis: 58:29–63:53

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Tone & Highlights

Bob and Monét’s banter is irreverent, quick-witted, and yet deeply empathetic—willing to joke and get rowdy, but always circling back to practical, heartfelt advice. They share personal stories with vulnerability and humor, and are never afraid to call out uncomfortable truths, whether within relationships, the drag scene, or celebrity culture. For listeners, whether drag fans or advice-seekers, the episode provides a blend of laughs, real talk, and a peek into the quirky world of drag and queer community support.

Transcript

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I'm Kiana. And I leveled up my business with Shopify. Once I figured out that Shopify was a thing, I never turned back. I can create a site with my eyes closed. Shopify thinks ahead of us, you know, and it thinks about the customer more than anything. Every day I'm thinking about some other new business, but Shopify is doing it to me because it's so easy to use. It's like I can't stop. I'm addicted. Start your free [e-mail]. Did you watch the Janet Jackson documentary?

[Monét X Change]

I did not watch the Dan Jackson doc. Did you?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I have not watched it. I have not watched it either, but I really want to. I've heard from a lot of people. That was really, really good. And. And I just did a review. Not a review, but like a. You talking about her life and stuff.

[Caller/Listener]

And.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

And do you know the 5, 4,

[Monét X Change]

3, 2, 1, 1, edit? Level up, level up?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

No, but it's. Do you know the. The numbers? Yeah, because she doesn't just go, 5, 4. Do you know how she does it? Do you remember? Do you remember how she does?

[Monét X Change]

I don't. Janet Jackson, before my time.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Four, three. Oh, it's hard. Five, five, four, three, two, one. Which is that. That. That kind of trips me up. It's like. It's like. It's like. This is really hard. Pointing at your. Alternating pointing at your thumbs is really hard.

[Monét X Change]

What do you mean? Like what?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Like this look and then this.

[Monét X Change]

You're trying to do this, this, and then this

[Caller/Listener]

fast.

[Monét X Change]

That's not the same thing, though.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Yes, it is. I'm pointing at my thumbs.

[Monét X Change]

I'm saying, how is that the same as this? I don't get.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Oh, it just. It just like. It's five, four, three, two, one, edit. So it's kind of hard. Five, four, three, two, one. It's not. It's not the same thing. You got me money. It's not the same thing.

[Monét X Change]

I was not trying. I wasn't trying to get you, babe. I was just saying I don't see correlation.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

You were trying to. It's. It's motor skills and hand eye coordination

[Monét X Change]

when you have none of those. So that's why it's very hard for you. How are you doing?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Oh, God. Well, I'm doing well. How are you today?

[Monét X Change]

You are bundled up. You were in your house with your coat on.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

You just had your bag because Jacob's up in here with the. Well, the air conditioner is being weird today. We have to get our air conditioning fix and our heating Fix in our

[Monét X Change]

home and Jacob break it. Why you say Jacob in here being what?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Well, Jacob keeps it cold in the house anyways. Like even if. But we have. But even outside of that, we haven't had. We haven't had heat in our home for like how long with Jacob?

[Monét X Change]

Maybe a month.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Like a month. We haven't had. We haven't had heat.

[Monét X Change]

We're cold in LA too, girl.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I know my sweet. My sweet baby has been here by itself in the fruit, but honestly, Jacob love. Jacob's probably loves this shit. Jacob's probably like, probably living his dreams in the. In the Arctic circle in here. Walking around like one of those little fur balls and. And frozen. You know, the little rocks.

[Monét X Change]

Oh,

[Bob the Drag Queen]

like,

[Monét X Change]

I see that you're back in la. So you've gotten over your Covid. So. Which means you're in a better mood this week because last advisory, you were.

[Caller/Listener]

You were.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I did not. I did not say I was in a better mood. Let's just start with that. You said that. I never said I was in a good mood.

[Monét X Change]

Strap on in, y'. All. We're in for a bumpy ride.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Yeah, I never said I was in a good mood. So let's get that crackalacking. I also got my tooth fixed. What?

[Monét X Change]

Can we comment.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Oh, now you're afraid to talk about my tooth? Last time you were just comment on.

[Monét X Change]

Or are you gonna persecute us for saying that your fixed up tooth looks nice?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Oh, I see. Well, I see. This is the way that you handle me setting my boundaries work. I got my tooth fixed

[Monét X Change]

salutation.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

That's. I don't know if that's supposed to sound sarcastic, but it does. But also it was because I got my tooth fixed. I remember back when I was. When I do the episode, all the. Well, it was during the episode, all the comments kept being like, bob, it's literally like a 30 minute thing on your lunch break. And I remember thinking myself like, I don't know what to think. Tooth chippings, y' all have got to fix. But it is. It is. It is. It is a longer procedure.

[Monét X Change]

How long did it take?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

It's not like a clear getting your tooth fixed if you. The way. I mean, the way that I check my tooth. First of all, as a reminder, it is. It is that it was not that. That was not my actual tooth. It was a fake tooth that broke. So they have to remove the old tooth and then put on the new new tooth. You have to get rid of the old. The old fake tooth, which is. Which Was again, not a tooth. And you have to drill it down to just my actual tooth underneath, which, which looks like a little Tic Tac. And then they had to make this tooth right there in the, in the office.

[Monét X Change]

How long did that take?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Maybe like three hours maybe. And then I have to, and then have to come back in two weeks. And they're going to pull this one off because this one is just made of plastic.

[Monét X Change]

It's your, it's, it's like, it's like the little, the little placeholder until you get the, the porcelain.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Yes. So this is just a plastic tooth that the doctor makes right there in the room. And then, and then I'm going to have my porcelain batty tooth, which I cannot believe. This is my fourth time chipping this exact same tooth.

[Monét X Change]

Well, I think you need to go to whoever's making that tooth. They are using shitty materials. You need to get that shit made better.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

That is, that is not, that is not the case. Okay. My first time I chipped my tooth, it was made from, from natural sources. It was, it was, it was made of, it was made of tooth the first time I chipped it, but I fell off my bike and I like my entire, the entire weight of my body crushed my face. So my tooth popped off. And then the second time, literally it was popping off. The second time I got my tooth fixed, they actually, they, the, they, they kind of just filled in the bottom half instead of. Actually this is one of those little 30 minute procedures. I'm out. They filled in the bottom half, but it was too much. You can't fill in. Like, I think when, normally when you fill in the chip is like this. Those of you watching, like I'm holding my hand, then they'll fill that part in with the stuff, but I was missing this. And they tried to fill all this in, just like adding it on. So. And also my teeth weren't done growing. I chipped my teeth in third grade, so my teeth were still growing. Got it to fit my head. So then tooth chipped. And then I got it fixed in 10th grade and that lasted me 15 years. And I guess it just, you know, 15, I guess 15 years is about as long as a, as a, as a tooth will last. They say 15, 20 years. And then this time I, it was, I got, I got hit very hard. I mean, my doctor looked and he was like, this is why I chipped like five of my teeth.

[Monét X Change]

Wait, this past time?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Yes, because he was looking. Yeah. You missed a chunk here. These three down here. All Missing a small.

[Monét X Change]

Did you not realize you're missing all these. All these pieces of your teeth?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Yeah, I told you back that day. I said, yeah, I chipped a lot of my teeth at once.

[Monét X Change]

No, bitch. I thought it was just the one. No, none of us knew that. I thought. We all just thought it was just that one.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I told you. I think it's even on the podcast that I chipped several of my teeth. They hit the door really, really hard. And I mean, it cut my lip. My lip was busted. I got hit very hard.

[Monét X Change]

We're also proud of you for being so vulnerable with us and sharing your teeth journey, because when we did the one about dentistry, you weren't willing to share now, and I think we're all grateful that you feel comfortable enough to share in this moment.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

What are you doing?

[Monét X Change]

I am in Portland because this was a Christmas gift from Andy to come and see Chelsea Handler here. And literally this after the show is supposed to be tonight, and literally this afternoon about 12:30, he got an email saying that Chelsea Handler has canceled the show tonight. So I am. We are literally just in Portland fucking

[Bob the Drag Queen]

around, just hanging out in Portland.

[Monét X Change]

I am so bad. I'm so mad.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Well, I'm sure Chelsea probably had a very good reason to catch.

[Monét X Change]

I'm sure she did. That does not change my feelings that I am upset.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I. I. Recently there was this woman on. On Twitter or Instagram or somewhere. Reddit or somewhere. Take that. I don't know where she was, but she basically has gone to see Adele, I think four times.

[Monét X Change]

And.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

And every time she's gone to see Adele. Adele has canceled the show. Like, Adele was, like, coming to Florida, and then she flew to London to see Adele. Adele canceled. And then, like, it was like. And it's. By the way, it's like a few. The few shows Adele has canceled in the past year. She just happened to have a ticket every single time. Adele canceled the show.

[Monét X Change]

Yeah, that's.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Doesn't sound annoying as hell.

[Monét X Change]

That's really annoying.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Did you tell everyone that you. You didn't tell them about your. Why, how you missed her show last time in New York City?

[Monét X Change]

I think I did, but I'll say it again.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Oh, did you? I don't know.

[Monét X Change]

I can't remember. I think I'm pretty sure I did, but. So Matteo Lane, obviously, you guys have been talking about Matteo Lane very often on the podcast. He's a very good friend of Bob and myself. He and Mateo's opening for her, and Matteo and I were chatting on the phone, and he was like, monet, guess what? I'm opening for Chelsea. I was like, shut up. I was like, mateo, I will fly to come and see you do it, but also meet Chelsea. He was like, bet. Do I literally book my flight? And when I was and to New York, it was like a month later when I finally, when the day come. The day of my flight was delayed and I, I mean, no, I ended up missing my flight and then when I got on the next one, it got there too late and I ended up missing the whole thing. So I did not see Chelsea Handler that first time. So, so Andy got me this Christmas gift knowing that information and surprising with this trip. And she canceled.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Well, that's wild. I, that sucks. I hate that happened to you. Um, but your birthday is coming up and you all can go see her again. Probably.

[Monét X Change]

Yeah. Andy rebooked them for, for one of the dates in May, but he got like the whole meet and greet experience, all that stuff. And at the show in LA on the, in May, she's not doing a meet and greet and none of the good seats are left. It's only like the fucking nose bleeding mezzanine seeds.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Well, no, but, so wait, so they just give you a refund? They don't like, try to, they don't, it's not like Delta, they don't try, they don't work on rebooking you. They just give you back your money?

[Monét X Change]

No. Well, they said that she's going to be in here in March. I can't, I'm not available for the dates that she's coming back in March to Portland.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

That sucks. I'm sorry, that sounds very annoying. That sound. I would be very upset. I, I, I, I recently got a, like a, a offer for a gig, but it was on the same day as my show in San Jose. Now, bear in mind, I have a sneaking suspicion that me and Chelsea Handler are not doing the same size venues. I got a, I got a feeling she's probably doing something a little bigger than I'm doing. But that being said, I, you know, me and my manager were talking, they were like, do you want to, like, this is, it's a TV offer. You shouldn't, you should have said it's, it's not unheard of to cancel your gig. And I was like, yeah, but it's sold out. And like, I don't know how far someone's driving, I don't know tickets. Like, I don't, I don't know what someone is doing to come see this show.

[Monét X Change]

Yeah.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

So I Was like, I'm. I'm just going to. I'm. I'm going to. It was. But anyway, long story short, I was like, I don't want to cancel the show. It feels bad. And it was, it was like. It was. The show's in the night. I don't know what time this is airing, but the, the show in San Jose is on the 9th of February and today is the 4th, so. And it was like, I think I got the offer on the second. So I was like, it just seems it's like such a short amount of time. Felt bad to cancel the show.

[Monét X Change]

Yeah, well, that's.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

That's Chelsea.

[Monét X Change]

That's why you're a queen for the people.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Roberta and Chelsea. What is Chelsea?

[Monét X Change]

She's a cunt for America. I'm kidding. I don't know. I love. I still love Chelsea. I'm probably. Hopefully I get to meet her or see her sometime soon. Yeah.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Her and Joy Coy are just, just kikiing and. And kakeling. Apparently they're together. I didn't. Asap. Rocky and Rihanna, Joe Coy. Who else is there? Is there another power couple I don't know about?

[Monét X Change]

Jekyll and Hyde are dating each other.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I was like, if I be there probably is going to find. I. I think there was someone else that was dating. I was like, what? Kristen Stewart is married to someone famous too.

[Monét X Change]

Is she

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Kristen Bell?

[Monét X Change]

Yeah, Kristen Bell. But her and Dax.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Do you want to. Do you want to build a snowman girl?

[Monét X Change]

Her and Dax Shepherd. But they've, they've been. They have like kids and stuff. They're like, they have to do it for years.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Yeah. But I didn't know. I did not know. I do. I do. I clearly don't follow celebrity relationships. The only. I guess the only celebrity relationships that I really know are the ones who are like, I don't know, like being together as part of their thing. Oh my God. We see what Kim and Kanye are going through right now.

[Monét X Change]

Yeah. And. And Kim go, Kanye. Kanye posted a picture of a screenshot of north west on Tick Tock. And he's like, can somebody please advise me what to do? Literally asking his fans because about. About my daughter having a Tick Tock account that I don't want her to have.

[Caller/Listener]

Etc.

[Monét X Change]

And Kim posted. Kim got at that ass and was like, well, and like laid him out. And everybody was like, kanye stopped. Kanye said this. Since this is my first divorce.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

No, no, we gotta read it. Like it's coming in like it's a letter straight to Us. Dear Bob and Monet.

[Monét X Change]

Dear Bob and Monet, since this is my first divorce, I need to know what I should do about my daughter being put on TikTok against my will. Sincerely, all falls.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Well, all falls down. You know, I gotta be honest, if you. Divorce sounds pretty tough. I gotta be honest, divorce does not sound good. That sounds like a really hard thing to go through, and I'm very sorry that you're going through that. That being said, you know, this is a real time to co parent. You gotta find out what it means to co parent. And apparently I'm assuming, I'm assuming you don't have custody of, of your child because that, it seems like the other parent. I don't know. I can't. I don't know. Are they straight? Do you know? I don't even know if they're straight or what their gender identity is.

[Monét X Change]

I feel like the way that he like worded his question, I feel like he has a lot of money.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Yeah. Yes. I mean, yeah. Something about it, right? Something about those very few words reeked of money. I'm gonna say maybe talk to your lawyers. I know divorce can be messy. And I don't know if you're in one of those divorces where you're not allowed to speak to each other, sometimes voices get really messy. You're going to have to just talk through lawyers. Talk to your lawyer. But I don't think you can stop the other parent from having a social media account for their child. This seems more like a thing, a more issue of ethics than some sort of, you know, it seems more like, like ethics. You don't want, you don't want this. You don't want your daughter on Instagram more so than just the mom. Just like.

[Monét X Change]

I disagree. I disagree. I think that, I think that you can pursue legal action and you can sue that bitch and get your kid because if you, if you don't watch your, your, your daughter. How old is your daughter? TikTok is for people 13 years or older. So if your daughter is under the age of 13 and they are on TikTok, you can pursue legal action against your former spouse for giving them account and get your kid back because that parent is being irresponsible for giving someone who is not of legal age to be on the app access to the app because there are inappropriate things that happen on this app there.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Well, we don't know how, we don't know how old his daughter is.

[Monét X Change]

His daughter. His daughter's eight years old.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Say, say it. You have A microphone.

[Monét X Change]

Eight years old.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

How old is. Why. Why are you looking at me like that?

[Monét X Change]

His. His daughter. His daughter is 8 years old.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Just looked at me like he was exhausted.

[Monét X Change]

His daughter's 8 years old. So she's not supposed to be on Tick Tock. So there are inappropriate things happen on Tick Tock. I go on Tick Tock and I am bombarded with dicks and. And people twerking and people.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I. I think you're on pornhub. I think you're on pornhub.

[Monét X Change]

I think that it is inappropriate for your daughter to be on Tick Tock under the age of 13 and you can pursue legal action because that's not right.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Well, maybe it's just one of those tiktoks where someone's filming the child, but she's not actually doing it herself because children can. People film their kids on Tick Tock?

[Monét X Change]

No, this. This. I've seen the Tick Tocks of this for some reason. I feel like I've seen All Falls down kid on Tick Tock before. And I've seen her like, oh, she like.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

She like a Tick tock, like. Like a kid celebrity or something.

[Monét X Change]

I think so. And I see her do her own tiktoks, like, to the camera, like, her, like, hey, TikTok, how you doing?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Well, listen, I definitely think that your best line of action is to. It seems like clearly there is a. A some contention between you and the mother of your child or the other parent.

[Monét X Change]

Yeah.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Depending on who that is. So, yeah, Girl, part of me wants to be like, Kim, we all told

[Monét X Change]

you that Kanye west is a crazy

[Bob the Drag Queen]

ass, that Kanye west was wild like the you. But you also can't help who you love. You can't help who you love. You love who you love. And that just is what it is. You know what I mean?

[Monét X Change]

For sure? For sure.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

So this was. I mean, obviously we're doing a bit. That was what Kanye west posts to the world. I guess since he's asking for advice, we thought we would lean in and give him a little, since he's asking everybody. And this is what Kim Kardashian wrote back. She said, kanye's constant attacks on me in interviews and on social media is actually more hurtful than any tiktoks north might create. As a parent who is the main provider and caregiver for our child, I am doing my best to protect our daughter while also allowing her to express her creativity on the medium that she wishes with adult supervision because it brings her happiness. Divorce is difficult enough on our children and Kanye's obsession with trying to control and manipulate our situation so negatively and publicly and is only causing further pain for all. From the beginning, I have wanted nothing but a healthy and supportive co parenting relationship. Because it was, it's. Because it is what is best for our children. And it saddens me that Kanye continues to make it impossible every step of the way. What's the next word, Jacob? I wish, I wish to handle all matters regarding our children privately. And hopefully he can finally respond to the third attorney he's had in the past in the last year to resolve any issues amicably. I mean, I, I do not know these people if I'm being honest. I mean, I was being a little slow before. I, I don't know these people. I do not know what's hard for who, but

[Monét X Change]

I said she better work.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Yeah. She was like, as the one who's paying the bills around here, part of me is like, I mean, I think Kanye west has openly said that he struggles with mental health. It is probably very hard to co parent with someone who is in the throes of their mental illness.

[Monét X Change]

Yeah. You know, for sure.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Especially someone who is volatile. Kanye west has a history of being publicly volatile. You know what I mean? And I also think that I'm not a parent, but I just have a sneaking suspicion that having your parenting judged and critiqued by not only strangers, but the other parent who is not there doing all the parent stuff is probably very hurtful. Like I, I can, I can imagine how upset I would be if someone were judging.

[Monét X Change]

My parents said this even.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

And even if you are making a mistake, it's just, it's just something about having your parenting judged and so harshly is. It's probably upsetting this.

[Monét X Change]

What do you mean by main provider America? So you try to kidnap my daughter on her birthday by not providing address. You put security on me inside of the house to play with my son, then accused me of stealing. I had to take a drug test at the Chicago's party as you accused me of being on drugs. Tracy Romulus, stop manipulating Kim to be this way, girl. I'm like, you know, part of me and I'm like, stop. Stop putting y' all shit publicly. But I'm like, they literally live their lives in the public so like they can hash us out in public if like they so please. Like that's their business. But I'm like, girl, everybody doesn't sound

[Bob the Drag Queen]

like they so please. It sounds like Kanye so pleases. Like it sounds. Kim's trying to just like live her life.

[Monét X Change]

Yeah.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

With her child. And it sounds like Kanye west is, like, trying to be like, I'm gonna up Pete Davidson.

[Monét X Change]

Did he say that?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Like, yes. He has a song lyric that says, like, God, like, gave him life so he can beat up Pete Davidson.

[Monét X Change]

I didn't see that. Meanwhile, he's still. He's.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

He's.

[Monét X Change]

Like.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

It was something. I can't remember. It was something like, God gave me a second chance so I could beat up Pete Davidson. Like, it's like, he's acting like it's wild work. Like, it is wild.

[Monét X Change]

Well, Kanye and Kim, if you guys want to submit more questions to civic advisory, Bob and I will be more than willing to help you guys get through this divorce in an amicable and peaceful way and just join the Patreon, and we got you.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I have. I cannot even imagine going through a divorce this public with custody hearings.

[Monét X Change]

I know.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

And with. I mean, I'm not saying I'm not team anyone, because I don't know these people, but, like, I tend to be like, kanye west is messy.

[Monét X Change]

Divorce just. Divorce just sounds so messy. Like, if. If I ever get married to someone, I just do not. Like, I. I mean, I don't know their business. I don't know how hard they work to preserve this. And again, Kanye does struggle with mental health things. I'm just like, but again, staying in a relationship that you're not happy with, that's crazy, too. I don't know. I'm like, bitch. I don't know. Divorce just sounds so crazy. Like, I would have tried to avoid divorce at all costs and just make it, like, a thing. Like, try to make it work.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I. I don't know. I think I would. I don't think I would avoid the voice of let's avoid divorce at all costs, but I would. It'd probably be. Be tough because, like, I'm. Again, this is all conjecture. I feel like when you're at that point where you just know it's not going to work out, and you're like, what do you do? Like, what do you. I was. I was talking to Ezra's dad, and he was.

[Monét X Change]

Because he was talking about.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Yeah, but he was just. He was just saying. He was just saying a lot. He was just saying, like, we were talking, like, about something. He was like, divorce is. He was just saying divorce is really tough. He's like, it's just. It is.

[Monét X Change]

I could imagine. I could imagine. And, you know, like, all kids. Like, when. Like, you know, all kids who have parents who divorce, you're like, no, stay together. You don't want it to happen. But I'm like, I'm sure they're not just like, yeah, let's just do it. I'm sure it's like the last resort. I was like, I cannot be with this person anymore. We have outgrown each other. It's not working. We have to separate. But obviously, kids are like, no, mom and dad, please stay together for me. Bitch. Fuck you. I'm not happy.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Did you have to. Were you a kid? Did you have to go through a divorce? Or were your parents.

[Monét X Change]

Yeah.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Have they ever been divorced?

[Monét X Change]

Yeah. Yeah, my friends got.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

They were.

[Monét X Change]

Yeah, they got divorced after 11 years.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Was that tough as a kid going through that?

[Monét X Change]

It was tough. Like, you feel like. You feel like you're in the middle of it, and you obviously want to. Want to stay together, and you kind of confuse us, what's going on? And. Yeah, it absolutely was tough. You know, I didn't. I don't want him divorced. But they're friends now, and my mom still takes care of my dad, and she, like, does things for him because, you know, I. He was like, his first. They were, like, each other's first love and shit. So they're still friends, and they still help each other out. And he comes over and he sees me.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Other partners?

[Monét X Change]

No, my dad does not have another partner. My mom has dated since, but she's single now.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Did you say she seasons meat for him?

[Monét X Change]

Yes. Like, for, like, for Christmas. Like, she, like, he'll, like, come over to the house and he'll, like, season the meat for her.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Like, she just seasons it. She doesn't cook it.

[Monét X Change]

She just seasons it. He'll season meat for her. Cause my mom doesn't like seasoning meat, so my dad would do it for her.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Wait, so wait. So he'll. He'll see. Wait. This is wild. So your mom likes cooking, but she's like, it's just the seasoning of me. Yeah.

[Monét X Change]

For example, like, Christmas is like a turkey. My mom's like, this is. Is such a. This is a big animal to season. So my dad will come over the night before and he'll season the turkey and the ham and stuff for her and not the ham, because you don't season ham.

[Caller/Listener]

Really?

[Monét X Change]

He'll season the turkey and other. Because, again, it's very West Indian to have, like, eight different meats for Christmas. We have turkey, ham, goat, lamb, chick. It's crazy. So my dad will come and do all of that the night before and then come over the next day. To eat it.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Not Monet's white upbringing.

[Monét X Change]

Mama.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Not seasoning chicken.

[Monét X Change]

Is that a white.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I don't want to season. It's a joke that white people don't season their food. Your mom's like, I'm not seasoning this shit. Mom's like, I don't like it. I don't want to season this food. Not one of these. White upbringing with the lack of seasoning in the food.

[Monét X Change]

Yeah. So that's good. I agree. Yeah. But there's. Were your mom and dad amicable? Were they friends? Was that tough for you?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

My mother has never been married, and. And so she. Her and my father were not married. And they were together when I was born, but they were together for, like. But I was a baby when they stopped seeing each other. And I don't. I have no recollection of my parents. I have no memories of my parents being together ever. I couldn't even. I cannot even imagine my mother and my father dating. It doesn't. Like, there's just. It just seems. It'll be wild if. To imagine Frank Pridget and Martha Caldwell as an item. I can't believe she ever was like, oh, my God, Frank, I love you so much. That sounds wild. Seeing my mom be like. Like, putting her arms around my father and, like, that would be like. I literally can't even fathom them holding hands.

[Caller/Listener]

Really?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

They're not, like, enemies. My parents are not enemies, but they are great friends. But my parents have just always seemed, like, literally, like. Like friends or like. Like my father is like the. The. His connection to my mom is just like some guy who lives in the neighborhood. But he's my father. I could. I mean, not even. I just. It. Imagining Martha Caldwell and Frank. Bridget, holding hands, kissing, loving each other is so funny. Sometimes my. My dad will say something like, you know, I still love you, girl. And she will just start laughing.

[Monét X Change]

I love that.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Like, she just. She just, like. She just. She's like, what you. Frank, you know, you funny. You still doing jokes or. One time, I think my dad's wife was like, don't be trying to get with Frank. And my mom was like, who?

[Monét X Change]

Get with who?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Frank.

[Caller/Listener]

Frank.

[Monét X Change]

Okay, my friends.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Let me make y' all a place y' all can go. Monet's father season the meat. Let's get y' all a flight.

[Monét X Change]

No, no, my. My parents were very affectionate. That's why. Well, I feel like when. When they were. When I found out about the divorce, it was a shock to me because they were very affectionate. Like they were very lovey dovey kissing her. The only thing my parents. But I don't. It was because my dad will always fall asleep in the living room. So he would not sleep in the bed. Like, my dad would always fall asleep watching TV on the couch. So I. I feel like I. I never saw my dad sleep in the bedroom ever. But. Yeah, but every other. Other than that, they were able to like kiss and dance around and like, like normal. It was very strange.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Shout out to everyone who falls asleep in the living room. Big shout out to everyone who falls asleep in the living room. Because that shit is great. Falling asleep watching TV in living room is great. All right. Yeah, we need to give somebody advice.

[Monét X Change]

We need to give somebody advice out here.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

We just gave Kim and Kanye or sorry, all falls down. And keeping up with some great advice,

[Monét X Change]

Keeping it with the kids. I have the first one ready. All right, here we go.

[Caller/Listener]

So I'm currently seeing this one guy. He's really hot, really nice, really sweet. Like, dick. Makes you wonder what size of rink you wear. But the current issue is that he seems to be very conservative. Like, girl, build the wall. Build the wall, girl. I'm Mexican, so that. That's not flying with me. But he's like, he's just like really such a really good guy. Except for. Actually, now that I think about it,

[Monét X Change]

maybe he's not a really good guy,

[Caller/Listener]

but I'm just not seeing. With seeing it. But I'm just very confused.

[Monét X Change]

What do you all think?

[Caller/Listener]

Sincerely, Monet's mate.

[Monét X Change]

Monet.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

He said Monet's mate.

[Monét X Change]

What do you mean? Sincerely, Monet's mate? I don't even get that.

[Caller/Listener]

Sincerely, Monet's made.

[Monét X Change]

Oh, Monet's maid.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Oh, Monet's maid. Oh, God, what was her name? Erica. What was her name again?

[Monét X Change]

Julietta.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Julietta. Julietta done found you, girl.

[Monét X Change]

Julietta hunted you down, Dick. It is very easy to get hypnotized by dick. But this conservative ass nigga. Y' all values never align. So if you're not trying to pursue a relationship, fine, fuck them all you want. Fuck. Slurp the nut out of that conservative dick. But if you're trying to pursue a relationship or something romantic, you know it will never work out for you. This person is a conservative. You're talking about build a wall. Go back to your country, you black Mexican bitch. Get out. It'll never work. Don't even entertain it. But if you just want to get some conservative nut in your gut, then go for it.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

And we don't Usually do one, but can we please do a. What made Monat say this? Slurp the nut out of that conservative

[Caller/Listener]

D.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

You know, I will say it. This is all conjecture. I do not know, but it sounds like you're just enamored with how beautiful this man is because you're like. Because even though you're not said, there's something about the tone of your voice that just sounds like he's hot and you don't want to let him go. I think that having someone whose political ideologies are at least similar to yours is important in terms of relationship, for sure. Like, for example, me and Jacob were both having conversation, and we were like, we could. If. If one of us became devoutly religious, like, if Jacob became, like, Orthodox Jewish, or if I became. If I went back to being, like, a Southern Baptist.

[Monét X Change]

She went back to being a Baptist

[Bob the Drag Queen]

would be very hard. She went back to being a Baptist, a Protestant. It would be very difficult to pursue, to keep the relationship going. It would just be hard.

[Monét X Change]

But only on. Only on religion, or are you just using that as an example?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Well, that's just one thing that we've said. That's just. That's just the conversation that Jacob and I have had. We haven't had the conversation about if I became a Tory or if I

[Monét X Change]

became a not a Tory. Back at you. Enter the chat, girl.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Yeah, I said that so you would feel more comfortable. I know how British you are, but. Yeah, Mary, first of all, you said it seems like he's conservative. So, like, is he conservative?

[Monét X Change]

He knows. He knows. You know, when. You know, when somebody conservative, he's. He's. He's saying, seems like. So it doesn't feel as. As daunting and as shocking, but, you know, that motherfucker is conservative. You know,

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I mean, I think I mentioned before that I have a friend who was dating a guy, and then when he found out that he was basically like. Like a Trump sympathizer, he was dating this guy. And then, like, they were just, like, hooking up and, like, having fun. And then one day the guy was basically like. He just in passing was like, I don't see what's the big deal with. With Donald Trump. No, like, I think he's doing a great job. And then that's when my friend was like, we literally. I think he literally, like, just drove home that day and never spoke to him again. It was. It was something like that.

[Monét X Change]

Yeah.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

It was like, he just. Because he knew that they weren't going to be able to. They Weren't going to be able to see eye to eye on. On things down the line.

[Monét X Change]

But, but, but, you know, not thinking about it, there are people I forgot. They're like three examples that I've heard of, especially on the View. They brought it up. There are couples who are. One is literally serving in on the fucking Republican side of Parliament. The other one is a Democrat. Like, there are three examples of that. So it is possible to have someone that you fundamentally disagree with politically. Like that is possible. But I know for me, that just could not. If I found out, Tamara, Andy was fucking masking that he was a fucking, what you call him? A fucking proud boy. Could you imagine? Like, that would just never work. Never.

[Caller/Listener]

Never.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Yeah, I mean, I mean, sure, I'm sure somewhere there's a blood dating a crip, but I don't think that means that they're going to want to pursue that. Maybe those people are able to push their feelings aside or their, you know, political views aside. I would not be able to.

[Monét X Change]

Not a blood versus a crip. Bob. That was good. You're funny today.

[Caller/Listener]

Hi, Bob and mermaid. I wanted to ask you both about apologizing when you don't think you've done anything wrong. I'm a queer woman in my 40s, and my wife wants me to apologize. Even when I feel 100% right. She doesn't want any. I'm sorry you felt so. The statements. But a genuine apology, ideally with the behavior change attached to it. How do you handle apologies when you're sure you're right? Thank you both so much. Love you.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Okay, can I just say thank you so much for saying I'm a queer woman. Like, we'd be like, I don't know. This person is. I have no clue. I don't know what that. This. I feel like this helps us in our quest for advice giving. So thank you. Thank you. Queer.

[Monét X Change]

Queer voice.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Unapologetically. Thank you unapologetically.

[Monét X Change]

Well, before we get into that, I think there is a thing that I. And I forgot what show I was watching, but it's about women apologizing. Like, oftentimes women apologize. Like they'll like, bump into someone or not bump into someone. They'll do something. And they're constantly saying, I'm sorry. I'm sorry. So I think there is a. I mean, this. You're talking about this in the parameters of your relationship with your wife. So that's different. But I know there is a big thing of women trying not to say sorry for everything because everything does not Deserve a sorry. If I. I can think of an example. If I walk down a hallway and. And I'm trying to get past you, I don't need to say I'm sorry, bitch, I'm. I'm moving through the world. I don't need to apologize for my behavior. So there is that whole aspect that I want to consider.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Well, I think there's a thing. So socially, women often say I'm sorry instead of, excuse me, sorry.

[Monét X Change]

Yeah.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Or like, they'll walk up and say, sorry, can I have a. Yeah, like, sorry. What do you mean, sorry?

[Monét X Change]

You're not sorry. You are.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

But this. But this is different. She thought. She's saying, like, these two have had a disagreement, and she. And. And the. And her. Her partner would like an apology. I don't know if they're married or not, but her wife or her girlfriend would like an apology. And she's like, I don't feel like I did anything wrong. I think that. I mean, it's kind of like, it. It's kind of like getting into a car accident. You know what I mean? Like, don't. They're like, don't admit fault. But I think also, like, if you don't feel like you did anything wrong, I don't think you should apologize. Maybe. I think there is a chance that you two can converse and find out how each other feel and get to each other's feelings, find out why each other felt that way. I think that that would. That sounds healthier to me than just apologizing because your partner wants an apology.

[Monét X Change]

I agree 100%. I'm like. I'm like, you're not. You're not at fault here. You didn't do anything wrong. I mean, sometimes just apologizing will make your partner feel better. So there is that part I understand that you want to do for them. But then if you just keep my positive, don't you do anything wrong. Then you're admitting you're. You're admitting guilt when you should not be in. I don't. I don't think that's fair or right to you either.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

It also kind of feels like a lie a little bit.

[Monét X Change]

Yeah.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Like you're not sorry. Like, you're not. Like you're not sorry. You. You just. You just don't want to fight. You know what I mean? Which is. Which makes sense. I can understand just wanting peace. I. I understand just wanting peace.

[Monét X Change]

Yeah.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

But also, like, you. I think that telling your partner you're sorry when you're not sorry can lead to some I don't know, some confusion down the line. When you get back to whatever, whatever was the catalyst for this argument, it

[Monét X Change]

will come up again.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

She's like, but I thought you was. I thought you were sorry, right? And you was like, no, bitch, I said I was sorry. I was actually. I said I'm sorry. I'm not sorry.

[Monét X Change]

For sure, for sure, for sure, for sure, for sure. So I think that is something to look out for, but also think it depends on the gravity of the situation. If, if, like, if. If you bought eggs and you. And you ate the last two and your partner was really upset and wants you to apologize for eating the last two eggs, is that going to fucking change your world? For apologizing for, you know, last two eggs? No. So I think you can. I think if you want to, I think that's fine. But if it's something graver or something a little more dramatic, then I think that that's another concept. But if it's something trivial like that, who cares? They're fucking eggs. I'm sorry. The last two eggs, babe. You know what I mean?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I think that sometimes those last two eggs just, over time, it just keeps building up. And it's like the last two eggs and then two eggs before that and the two eggs before that. The two eggs before that. By this time, we're not talking about two eggs. It's been 48 eggs at this point. You know what I mean? And I think that those. I mean, I don't know. I'm trying to think of, like. I mean, I'm trying to think about. I guess Jacob and I really have not been arguing much since we moved to California, so.

[Monét X Change]

But.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

But when we. We were having a little rough during quarantine and we, we apologize to each other. I mean, I find that sometimes when you're arguing, there is. There is sometimes something to, To. To apologize for sometimes. Because when the argument gets, like, contentious, a lot's happening. So much happens. You ever like. Like, sometimes an argument, it just gets so contentious. You're. You're back and forth so much that there's like that nine egregious things have happened by the time the conversation is over.

[Monét X Change]

Literally. This podcast that's literally every what of it. I was like, I'm trying to think of a time where. Bitch, every other episode. You're ridiculous.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I'm going to play our next.

[Monét X Change]

Our next clip. Here we go.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Also.

[Monét X Change]

What. I'm just going to post this clip.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

What I'm going to say, like, every time we get into an argument, on the podcast, the listeners are so, like, wild. And I'm like, y' all need to. Y' all need to, like. I mean, we are. We are in a parasocial relationship right now. And there's. And I appreciate that people are so invested in us, but they. They think they are so sure about our, like, you and me having vitriol and hatred for each other. And I'm like, I promise you guys, me and Monet are fucking friends. Like, don't speak for me. Like, wild.

[Monét X Change]

Don't speak for me.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

You know what?

[Caller/Listener]

Hi, Moni and Bob. My name is Jay. I've been a patron for quite a while now and a fan for longer.

[Monét X Change]

Not Jay devale.

[Caller/Listener]

I have this co worker that I'm very attracted to. He's very handsome, he's nice, he's sweet, he's funny, and he's strict. One day I told him how I felt about him, and in response, he says how he's undeserving of my feelings and that he's so grateful that I told him. I don't know how to take that, because what's worse is I get mixed feelings from him when he sees me at parties. He gives me a hug and squeezes my ass. And the feelings I get on Mary, don't ask. Fast forward. He's my roommate now, and he has a girlfriend. But I still don't know if I should pursue him or just leave him alone. He's the only man I get nervous around every time we talk. What should I do?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Okay. Do you want to go first? Do you want me to go first?

[Monét X Change]

Well, I think that he was very clear on how he feels about you. He said, I am not deserving of your feelings. Do not give me these feelings. But I do understand that he's, like, hugging you and the grabbing your butt and doing stuff like that and being playful. Maybe he thinks he's just being playful with you, but I understand how you're getting these mixed feelings. But I feel like he's been very clear as to. I have a girlfriend. He told you, don't give him these feelings. He got a whole girlfriend. He is living his whole life. And you're like, I don't know what to do, but I don't want to. I don't want to say that you're wrong for feeling that, because I get the mixed feelings. But I feel like he's being very clear about how he feels about you. And maybe he's. And, you know, and straight men can. Just because he's straight doesn't mean he can't like have like a, a fun, cute relationship with you that's not romantic or sexual. He's just treating you as a friend. Straight guys be in locker room slapping each other butts, grabbing each other dicks and doing shit all the time. That doesn't mean they don't want to each other. I think that he's just, he's just being playful and they grabbed, they grab

[Bob the Drag Queen]

it to the Dixon locker room all the time. All the time.

[Monét X Change]

I mean I've seen, I. Do you not watch Euphoria? They be doing that in Euphoria.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

They smoke. They smoke. The principal smokes crack at Euphoria High school. Yeah, I think the person being very

[Monét X Change]

clear and I think he just tried to have a fun bro y type relationship with you that, that is not sexual or romantic. And I think you should respect that. But you know, if, if, if, if you can't be around it and it's like triggering you because you want to have sex with a person or want to person want to pursue something romantic, then maybe you should get yourself out of the situation, which is not living with them. If you can't handle the bro y type friendship that he's trying to build with you.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Yeah, you know, I, I feel like touch, like touching your friend's butts isn't, isn't necessarily a sign of sexual attraction. I touch Monet's butt all the time. Monet smacked my butt. I touched Mateo's butt. I smack Peppermint sometimes I jerk bob off.

[Monét X Change]

Like we just, we're just friends in

[Bob the Drag Queen]

the, in, in the locker, in the

[Monét X Change]

locker room doing crack with the principal.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I have smacked a lot of my friends butts and I don't think that that is necessarily. I mean it is some sort of a consensual playfulness between me and my friends. But I do not think that that is any, that's not, I don't think, I don't personally think that is a mixed signal. I think you are creating signals where there is no signal. I think he gave you the signal. It was a sign and it said stop. He made it very clear. It was in no unclear terms. He was like, bitch, I don't like you. I am not interested in you. I am very flattered that you like me. You deserve to have someone who can give these feelings back to you.

[Monét X Change]

Yeah.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

And also like, it just. I gotta be honest, it. Does that sound like a healthy relationship? Like Monet, when you first started dating Andy, were you nervous around him or were you like. Because I Mean, I wouldn't describe what I felt for Jacob as like, nervous. I mean, I was excited to be

[Monét X Change]

around you, but I was never like, nervous. Yeah, when I first started dating Andy, I wasn't nervous. I was just. I would say I was excited. I would get like butterflies and stuff and I honestly have to do sometimes. But it's not nervous. I'm not like, oh my God. I'm like nervous. It was like excitement. Like I'm getting to be around this person. I'm with them, I'm spending time with them. Not nervous. Excitement is a better word for it for sure.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Yeah, girl, you gotta know this is not good. This is a bad look and you gotta stop and you gotta release your. Listen, baby, you are in a prison of your own desire. Release yourself from these shackles. This man is not interested in you. He has made that very clear. He has a full ass girlfriend.

[Monét X Change]

Also, I think that you might be. I think maybe you've seen too many of these, like gay Netflix movies or these old movies where a straight guy said, no, no, I'm not interested, but he really is. He ends up having sex and fall. That is. Girl, those are movies that doesn't. That shit does not happen in real life. So I think you're trying to live this like movie fantasy of these tropes we see of straight guys and gay guys finding love in movies. And that's just not gonna happen. You can't, you can't live your life.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

And on those rare occasions where it has happened, we do not need you sliding into the comments of this video saying it happened. Right? We don't need that.

[Monét X Change]

Right.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Don't, don't, don't, do not. I. Sure, yeah, yeah. You have the experience. I am here to invalidate your experience. I do not want you coming into the comment section here giving this man some false sense of hope because one time you jerked off a guy from like, we don't want to hear about your toxic relationships with a straight guy. So keep, keep that to yourself. And I, yes, I am, I, I am calling their relationship. I don't feel bad about it. I feel very strongly about closeted guys around with queer people. I feel very, very, very strongly about it. It is dangerous. It is toxic. It is so bad for the queer person. And I cannot say enough bad things. I can't just recommend it enough.

[Monét X Change]

Yeah, yeah. As someone who lived that life for a long time, I can agree it's not good for your mental health. It's not good for you. Put you in a bad space. It's very. It's very unhealthy for you. You deserve to find someone who will, who can love you openly and freely. And you can share that love and express it how you want to. Not behind the sheet, not behind closed doors, not in a hotel room, not secretly behind a locker. You deserve open and free love.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Can I say completely unsponsored. Unsponsored. No one's paying us to say this. I order the chocolabs RuPaul candy bar today because this, this season long commercial for these candy bars. It worked on me and I bought a candy bar. So I'm gonna be doing a. I'm gonna. I'm gonna do a review of one at some point. It's been on my mind. It's in the other room. And I cannot stop thinking about this candy bar.

[Monét X Change]

I literally. My brain. Kool Aid, girl. You're drinking the Kool Aid, girl.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

It's chocolate.

[Monét X Change]

Dear Monet and Bob, my boyfriend's butthole is just so tight. Too tight. Every time we have sex, it feels like his asshole has a complete choke hold to the point of suffocating my dick. We've tried different lubes, but they all rub out too fast. Poppers are illegal in Canada, so they're super hard to come by. Really? This isn't helped by the fact. I mean, this doesn't help by the fact that he prefers a spitfuck over lube 100 of the time. Are you joking? Sorry, I'm having real time reaction. I love my boyfriend, his butthole very much, but God damn, what am I supposed to do when my dick feels like Bart Simpson's neck getting choked out by Homer? Anytime we try to make love, it's like my boyfriend shoved a bag of warheads up his ass and my penis is paying the price. Do you have any advice for loosening up my boyfriend? Sincerely, an increasingly claustrophobic topic. Oh, my God. Okay, a few things.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

He prefers that gorilla grip, girl.

[Monét X Change]

But especially if his boyfriend is that tight, he prefers spit over lube. That's crazy.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Well, I think the boyfriend. It sounds. I mean, the letter we're getting is from the. Is from the top, not from the hole. The hole is like, I like that tight shit. Some people. Some people like their holes to be punished. Some people are like, beat it up, nigga. Charge extra large and extra hard. He said what? He said that gorilla grip wants a little bit, A little, A hint of saliva. Just lean over the dick with a lisp and then lean over the hole with a lisp and then start Slamming it in.

[Monét X Change]

That's insane.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

You know, I feel like. I feel like. And everyone's body's different, but across the board, all buttholes are elastic.

[Monét X Change]

Yeah.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Like your butthole will. It. It will loosen up. I'm just gonna go ahead and lean straight. Dive straight into the deep end and just recommend you get a butt plug.

[Monét X Change]

Oh, my God. That's okay.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

But, yeah, a butt plug. You put. You put it in there.

[Caller/Listener]

You.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

You like, maybe if while you're making out, maybe while he's blowing you and you're blowing him, maybe while you're kissing, maybe while he's cooking dinner. Whatever feels sexy to you. All you.

[Caller/Listener]

You.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

You just spit on the butt plug because he doesn't, like, lube. You just. You just. You just. You drop a couple of tears on the butt plug and then pop it in his. In his ass.

[Monét X Change]

Yeah.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

And by the time you're ready to have sex, it'll. It'll feel good. But maybe. But there's also just that he might like that. Like, the tightness feels good to him,

[Monét X Change]

but it doesn't feel good to the top. So it's not mutually beneficial. I say, I like the butt plug idea. And. And if you think you're like, oh, no, there's not one big enough bitch, they have butt plugs that go up to, like, like a fucking 20 centimeters. Like, I mean, 20 inches in circumference. So there is a buffer big enough. I feel like if you think. Try. I would say get. Get weird. Get. Get. Get a nice array of butt plugs. Maybe by three. You can start with, like, three varying sizes. Like a small, medium, large, and try to open them up that way. And maybe. Maybe. Maybe you can. Maybe this may be a perfect time to start. Maybe try getting into fisting. The fisting community is booming in Los Angeles and New York. I. So maybe you can get into fisting, and maybe that can be the thing that brings you guys together and opening up with you bitch. With your bare hands.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Yeah, maybe also, how big is your dick? Like, is this like a big fat. Is your dick just really fat? Is it his hole or is it your fat wrist? Wrist thick penis.

[Monét X Change]

Not rustic penis like a pizza.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I said wrist thick. Important day. I would do that in porn. So, like, some tiny, tiny, tiny girl being like, oh, my God, it's my wrist. She puts her. Her. Her forearm by his dick. It's like, oh, my God, this is crazy. Yeah. That's why if. Yeah, you got. You got to work on the hole. You just got. You have to do the work to get the butthole loose before you go in there each time. I don't know how long you've been dating, but that's what I recommend.

[Monét X Change]

Yeah.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

All right. I got my thing figured out. I did Bob Monet. I work in New York City nightlife. Oh, you probably know this. And I find there's a lot of messiness around people. Bartenders, barbacks, queens, check people, etc, drinking on the job.

[Monét X Change]

Y' all gotta get Bob going on.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

In your professional opinion, what's a good rule of thumb for drinking at your.

[Monét X Change]

Oh God. Bob's gonna say that I already know about. Go ahead, Bob. I know you want to talk.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Well, what do you mean?

[Monét X Change]

What do you think?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

What do you, you, you give your. I want you to give your, your great advice first.

[Monét X Change]

Actually, no, I went first last time. You're trying to go first.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I think that drinking at work is a bad idea. I think that when you're at work you need to be professional. I think that just because, just because your job is to sell alcohol does not mean it is your job to drink it in front of everyone. I think that especially you don't want to get sloppy. Some people, a lot of people, not a lot of people, some people can't hold their liquor. Some people don't know how to behave themselves. I also work in New York City nightlife for years. I worked in New York City nightlife for over a decade and I've seen that same thing. I've seen DJs fully drugged out in the DJ.

[Monét X Change]

I know exactly what you talk about too. I can't.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

And we've seen it. You know what I mean? I have seen drag queens get so drunk they flip tables. I've seen drag queens get into full on fist fights with people. If you all listen Hardcore's podcast. Anyway, I was, yeah, I was so drunk. I've seen Logan Hardcore, she said on her podcast get so drunk that she threw her shoe at a patron because he was trying to leave. And then the shoe ended up like ripping the ear of the dj, the high heel. And in, in my opinion, that's not, that's not cute, it's not funny, it's not fierce. When I, whenever I've worked with drag queens who are wasted, it's not fun.

[Monét X Change]

Yeah.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Especially for the person who's at work. Like. But that's just how I. Now I will say this. There are lots of drag queens who get drunk at work and have had very successful careers. So I'm not saying that my sobriety is the. Oh, My God. I'm not saying that my sobriety is, like, the key to my success for me, but it's definitely helped me out. And I'm not saying that Thor G's drunkenness is not the key to her success. I'm sure it's helped her out somewhat too. But I just. In my opinion, in my. For me, personally, I don't drink at work. And how do I deal with my. How do I deal with my co workers who do it? Honestly, I literally just take it in stride. Like, there's, there's, there's. It feels like there's nothing you can do about it because so many people are doing, like, I mean, shots before. It's just one of the. Even though, like, I know where to bar. I know where to bar. I'm trying to imagine doing shots before work at any other job and being like, oh, this makes sense.

[Monét X Change]

That's not the same thing. If you get. You can't say being a lawyer, taking shots before work. It's just different. You're not working at a bar. I am someone. Bob works. Bob and I work together and I drink. But again, I'm not. I'm someone who can handle my liquor. I'm not an alcoholic. Like, I'll have. I'll have a. I'll have like, one drink through audition. I'll be fine. Or I'll have like a. Like, when we do work the world, all the girls will take, like, a shot before the show starts, and we'll have, like, a cocktail during the show. And no one is messy or drunk or throwing up or not doing the numbers. That just doesn't happen. But I have worked with girls who get fucking obliterated.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

And no one's messy. Have you not seen Derrick Berry's Haters Roast? No one's messy. The girls get messy.

[Monét X Change]

I say girls that I work with. I've never worked with Jerry Berry in. In a professional setting. That's your friend for your season.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I mean, Derrick Berry normally does. Derrick Berry doesn't normally get very drunk. But I'm saying, you and I both, that, like, saying no one gets messy is not a true statement. The girls get messy. Not always, but there are times where the girls get messy.

[Monét X Change]

Specifically at work. The world. I mean, actually Asia, Australia. There's that one bitch that was messy and she was live singing and she was gagged that she was like, I don't understand why the music isn't always the same. And we're like, bitch, it's a fucking instrumental track. It's the Same every night. You're not the same. You're a drum.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

But that's what I'm saying. Like. Like, I mean, so I've done. I've done a lot of the tours and, like, typically speaking, most of the time the girls are. But I have seen girls get so wish they come off stage, attack pas, physically assault pas, lock their. Lock their. Their. Their co star out of the dressing room, and then, like, do, like. I've seen this happen. I have literally this happen. So. So that's why. That's. That. Listen, anyway, that's why I'm saying.

[Monét X Change]

Yo. Notice over the past couple months, Bob has become such a pussy. I'm sorry, I don't mean to use pussy as a pejorative.

[Caller/Listener]

Wow.

[Monét X Change]

I apologize.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Wow.

[Monét X Change]

Y' all know that Bob has become increasingly less. Say their names. The queen of say their names. Anytime it's him, you don't want to say born, it's me. Like Monet. Say their names. Say their names, bitch. Who the fuck got messy, locked you out the dressing room and assaulted a PA who was.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Was Monet X Change, y'?

[Caller/Listener]

All?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

And I didn't want to say anything, but it was.

[Caller/Listener]

It was.

[Monét X Change]

Oh, my God. It was Monet Exchange.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I was trying to protect your image, but you told me you want me to say it. So since you want me to say it, it was Monet X change.

[Monét X Change]

Oh, my God. Anyways.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Oh, now you don't want me to say the name. Oh, now the name's not valid. But. No, but I think that. But I think that just because you don't get drunk every time does not make the times you get drunk. Okay. Being drunk at work is. Honestly, in my opinion, it is very irresponsible to the people you're working with. It is very irresponsible.

[Monét X Change]

I'm not saying it makes it okay, but I get that.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I get that we work in nightlife and we're having fun and we're drinking and stuff. I get it. Trust me, I get it. I understand that I'm in the minority here. I just. I'm just trying to. And by the way, not just lawyers. I mean, I'm trying to think of any job where everyone's just doing shots before work and then that being cool. That sounds wild.

[Monét X Change]

We're talking about specifically at a bar. That's why it's a little different, I think. Again, I'm not saying that it's okay for people to get obliterated at work. I don't think so. And just because someone has one night where they mismanaged themselves and they drank a little too much. I don't think that that makes. Yeah, that's not okay. But I don't think that that should bar them from having a shot before work or learning from that mistake and being able to manage themselves at work while having a shot or something. I don't think that that is the same thing.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I mean, I've worked in a corporate restaurant before, a few, actually, and you can't. And I've also worked at some, like, just, like, you know, New York City bars. And if you work at, like, a New York City bar, you can do a shot with your patrons. We work at Ruby Tuesday. There is a absolute company policy. You under no circumstances are ever allowed to do a shot with your guests. You cannot drink. You cannot drink with the guests. Even if they buy you a drink, you literally cannot drink it. And in my opinion, that makes sense because you are handling money. You are. You are. You're holding glasses, you're moving heavy kegs. It's wild. It is wild. But I'm a square.

[Monét X Change]

Shall we do the next one? Dear Monet and Bob, I'm a fairly new drag queen, and I feel like my biggest strengths are sewing looks and performance. But that being said, I'm terrible with hair. I'm always getting read for it, and my wigs just look rough. I'm not at a place to pay somebody to do my hair, yet I feel like I should spend more time focusing on performance and sewing and just having crunchy wigs until I can afford nicer ones. Is hair really a valuable skill to develop? And any easy hair tips or looks that I can easily make look nice? Yes, bitch. A fucking kitty cat wig. That's why I. That's why my career was built on kitty cat wig. But you take them out the bag.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

You didn't read the name. You didn't read the name. Sincerely, Jasmine Kennedy.

[Monét X Change]

I'm kidding. Sincerely, bad hair day. Yeah, I think. Listen, there is no shame in getting shake and go wigs for me. I don't think there is. People love to region. I'm like, bitch, you are some bitch coming to the bar, watching my show. You're an outage. You're not sewing your looks. You're not doing anything else. Mind your fucking business. If I want to go to the fucking wig store and get a $20 wig and put on my head and it still looks good, that's my business. Why do you care if it costs $20? Fuck you. And I think, and for the most part, Especially when I'm starting in New York City. And Bob and I think. I think we can both attest that there are queens. Like, there's always one level that you don't thrive at. Like, either you are a queen who can do. Who's a really good performer, and you can do good hair, but you can't tell, or you can sell and you're a good performer. You can't do hair, or you can. Or you can perform. And, like, there's always, like, one thing you like, lacking a little bit. I think that's fine. I think you just work hard, get your coins up so you can start buying wigs and selling hair. And if it's really important to you and you. And. But you want to have better hair, and because you think that's going to really improve your drag, then you can literally learn everything on YouTube, everything you want to learn. There's a tutorial on YouTube to teach how to do it. James Mansfield has, like, at this point, hundreds of videos teaching you how to style and do different wigs and teaching how to, like, coif hair and stuff like that. So if you really, really, really want to learn, there is a tutorial from James Mansfield on how to do it.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Yeah, I think that there are things you can learn with hair. You know, I can't do hair, but I did learn how to do, like, a bun that looks good on. That looks good. I learned how to fix a hairline so that my hairline doesn't look like, you know, that. That. That half moon. I. I learned how to, like, pull. Pull my hair back and put a fro. So whenever. Whenever I want to, whenever I want to go outside of that and have another nice hairstyle, then I'll. I'll need help. But I think it's possible to try to learn one. One trick that you feel really confident in so that when you wear your hair, you feel good. Also, when you do get your wig style, I would go to one of these. Style one of these wig people who makes helmets. You want like. Like wigs and grace integration, Edward Scissorhands. Like, they make helmets. Like, your hair will legit stiffware.

[Monét X Change]

Look, it don't move. It don't move exactly.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Yeah, like you want. You want stiff. Like you want that hair that is. Like, you can. That you can. You can, you know, put on the bed or it falls on the floor, you can pick it back up and it still looks good. Maybe, like, honestly, I think that a great wig, like a great synthetic wig, you could legit. You should Be able to get, in my opinion, roughly 15 wears out of it. I don't know how crazy you're getting. If you're like. If you're doing all this.

[Monét X Change]

Yeah.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Then maybe not, but if you. Yeah.

[Monét X Change]

No, that's crazy. Performances.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I used to get 50. Yeah. I used to, like, especially, like, I would do, like, I would. Whenever I do. That's how I basically staggered my work the world hair. I would. We would do like 15 shows, and then we'd have a week off. And then on that. On that time off, I would take my wigs. They'll get redone again. And I mean, by the 15th one, they weren't looking as great. You know what I mean?

[Monét X Change]

That's true. If y' all go and look up. I don't know, I think it's like, look, Queen, the Wizard of Oz, whatever. Bob used to have this red curly wig. I don't know who made this wig. It's on Drag Race Wig Bob, literally,

[Bob the Drag Queen]

that wig.

[Monét X Change]

For years, Bo would get done with the gig, shove it in his bag, get to his house and pull it out, and the wig looked like nothing happened to it. It was. Honestly, it was a modern marvel. It was insane. This wig.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

We will. Mitch, we need you to put it on the screen. The wig is the one from the wizard of Oz episode. It is the one from the wizard of oz episode on RuPaul's Drag Race. That is the actual wig. So make sure everyone.

[Monét X Change]

It was insane, y'. All. I'm not even being hyp. I know we do a lot of hyperbole here. I am not kidding. Bob would literally get. He would do brunch from 7 to 9 o' clock in that wig, travel downtown, wear for liquid until 4 o' clock in the morning. Take it off. And when I say. And Bob was not treating his wig nice. He was not putting it in, like, a box and take. He would literally shove it in a duffel bag, go home, take it out, put it and then do.

[Caller/Listener]

It.

[Monét X Change]

Was insane. That wig. That is crazy.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

It would get caught in the cab door in the snow. That wig was great. Yeah. Anyway, so, baby, you don't have to be great at wigs. I would. I would maybe learn one good trick. But outside of that, it's okay to outsource once you get the money, baby. Outsource?

[Monét X Change]

Yeah.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

You know, outsource her, honey.

[Monét X Change]

Yeah, that's it. We have it. We have another sibling advice rebound. I think we gave some great advice.

[Caller/Listener]

This.

[Monét X Change]

This go around. And I'm happy that we were able to end nicely with each other. And you didn't turn into a monster this episode. I really enjoyed that part.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I wish I could say the same for you. Thank you all for listening.