Sibling Advicery with Chelsea Handler!!!

Summary

Podcast Summary: Sibling Rivalry – “Sibling Advicery with Chelsea Handler!!!”

Date: April 25, 2022
Hosts: Bob the Drag Queen & Monét X Change
Special Guest: Chelsea Handler

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Episode Overview

This episode of Sibling Rivalry is a special “advicery” edition, where the irreverent drag duo Bob the Drag Queen and Monét X Change invite comedian, author, and advice podcaster Chelsea Handler to join them in offering listener advice. The conversation is fast, funny, and deeply candid, oscillating between lighthearted banter about drugs, jealousy, and German accents, and nuanced discussions about relationships, confidence, identity, and navigating adulthood. With audio and written questions from fans, the trio share personal stories, sharp insights, and the kind of raw authenticity that defines their comedic chemistry.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Jealousy and Success in Comedy and Drag

• Naturalness of Professional Jealousy: All three reflect on feeling jealous of their peers, emphasizing it's a common, almost unavoidable emotion in entertainment.
• Chelsea Handler on Jealousy:
  • Quote: “Being jealous and being, like, envious of what other people are doing, I mean, that's the name of the game. It's hard to avoid that when you're in this industry and it's constantly being thrown in your face” (05:17).
  • She admits most recently being jealous of Ali Wong for opting not to promote her Netflix special, marveling at the power to “just say, I'm not doing any of that. … I didn't even know that was an option" (06:16).
• Bob gets candid about drag peer jealousy, notably of Trixie Mattel and Bianca Del Rio (06:03).

2. Substance Use and Psychedelic Experiences

• Monét’s Love for Mushrooms: Monet jokes about new psychedelic adventures and laments not trying mushrooms at a concert because her friend chickened out (07:33).
• Chelsea’s Confession: “Oh, I just took a mushroom. I just took a little mushroom capsule earlier this morning” (07:39).
• Humor Around Drugs: They riff on drug-infused chocolates, and the trio agree that everything can be dosed now, even joking about Portobello salad “sending Bob bananas in a strip mall in Ronkonkoma” (08:46).
• Running Joke: The episode frequently circles back to “drugs are great” (27:23), always with comedic flair but a nod to Chelsea’s and Bob's more complex relationships with substances.

3. Advice to Listeners

a. Dating While “Intimidating”/‘too successful’ (Asha, 11:10)

• Chelsea Handler:
  • Advice: “You just have to work extra hard to be friendly… It goes a long way with other people and helps them relax when you kind of disarm them.”
  • Insight: Don’t fake, but overcorrect with warmth to balance intensity (12:21).
• Bob: Suggests sticking to your guns as faking friendliness won’t land a deep connection, but Chelsea counters that a little extra warmth does cast a wider net (13:46).
• Monét: “I think you need to give out what you’re trying to receive… Work to disarm that a little bit, give a little warmth so people can explore more with you” (13:46).

b. Should You Tell Friends the Truth About Their Partners? (Rachel from Baltimore, 16:15)

• Bob’s Rule: He doesn’t intervene unsolicited, as people in love often shut out hard truths (17:04).
• Chelsea Handler:
  • Quote: “If it was someone close to me and said, listen, this is a really unhealthy dynamic … I would have listened, especially if they had come to me together. That’s a big red flag.” (18:08)
  • Stance: Truthfulness is important when asked directly, but unsolicited opinions are not welcome.

c. Dealing with Aging and Existential Dread (Listener from Melbourne, 25:22)

• Chelsea Handler:
  • Advice: "You just have to embrace it … you only get this day once, right? … It helps you be more present and not worry about aging, which is pointless anyway" (28:14).
  • She jokes about “fighting every step of the way” but comes back to self-acceptance and being present.
• Bob: Talks candidly about existential fears—“I have had moments where I was like, I cannot believe I'm going to die…” but finds repeated reflection brings acceptance (29:54).
• Monét: “Take care of yourself, do a little drugs, and have the best time of your life” (27:23).

d. Navigating Short-Term or Professional Relationships (Listener question, 34:00)

• Chelsea & Bob: Both admit to being short and to the point rather than insincere, but advise politeness and keeping an open mind, since connections can have surprising longevity.
• Bob’s Boundaries: Shares a story about setting clear physical boundaries with a persistent venue worker (37:32).

e. Standards and the Struggle for Love (Derek from DC, 41:10)

• Derek worries his standards are too high (height, looks, job, etc.) and despairs at failed relationships.
• Chelsea Handler: Defends high standards “as long as you set your standards at a level, somebody will come and meet them” (42:03) but warns against “shallow” checklist items, sharing her own experience (46:34).
• Monét: “If these are dealbreakers, why date outside your preferences?” but encourages re-examining if it's not working (43:20).
• Bob: “Never met anyone who was a nice guy who described themselves as a nice guy. That’s a red flag” (44:03). He pushes for self-reflection and openness to the unexpected, noting that rigid shopping lists often don’t serve genuine connection.

f. Exploring Femininity as a Trans Woman (Marlena from Berlin, 50:48)

• Monét: “The femininity I was hiding gave me so much power as an adult … I discovered what made me feel good and didn’t have to fit into anyone else’s mold” (51:57).
• Chelsea Handler: Validates personal experience over learned gender norms: “You can almost toss everything you’ve learned about femininity out the window, because your experience is really the only thing that’s relevant” (53:31).
• Bob: Emphasizes that “femininity does not belong to women and masculinity does not belong to men … The answer is: femininity is whatever it means to you” (56:58).

g. Not Getting on RuPaul’s Drag Race (Anonymous, 60:06)

• Bob and Monét: Share their long, challenging audition histories (Monét: 5 times, Bob: 4 times), and agree that Drag Race should not be the sole definition of drag success.
• Bob (on rejection): “If you did not get cast, it does not mean you’re not good enough, just that there was not a part for you at this time” (61:36).
• Monét: Admits she got on the show only when she dropped the act and was truly herself (63:12).
• Chelsea Handler: “That’s good advice for everybody… sometimes it really doesn’t have anything to do with you, even though it always feels like it does” (62:57).

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• Chelsea (Re: German Accents):
  “As a Jewish person, to hear a German person yelling at you on a train, no less --- I can’t hear that accent again for three days!” (02:00)

• On Psychedelics:
  “I just took a mushroom cap earlier this morning.” (07:39, Chelsea)
  “Drugs are great.” (27:25, Monét)

• On ‘Nice Guys’ and Self-Description:
  “Never met anyone who was a nice guy who described themselves as a nice guy. That’s a red flag.” (44:03, Bob)

• On Gender & Femininity:
  “Femininity does not belong to women and masculinity does not belong to men. … The answer is: femininity is whatever it means to you.” (56:58, Bob)

• On Drag Race Aspirations:
  “If your end game in drag is to get on RuPaul’s Drag Race, I think that you might be in it for the wrong reasons” (61:36, Bob)
  “Just be your natural self. … That’s how you get on the show, in my opinion.” (63:12, Monét)

• On Being Booed:
  “I do not stand by what I said to get booed. I deserved to get booed. … I was not a big fan of Janet Jackson.” (49:06, Bob)

Memorable Laughter & Banter

• Mushrooms, Chocolate & “Cheese Dick”:
  Extended riffs about drug delivery methods (“You can put any drug in chocolate”), and a digression into “cheese dick” (smegma) explanations (21:30-22:46), causing both cringe and hilarity.

• On Aging & Mortality:
  “No fucking thanks … a good 70 year run is plenty for me. I’m not trying to be 100.” (31:14, Chelsea)

• Recurring Gags:
  The group bans the words "Grammy," "W," "Trixie," and "train to Germany" as repeated, emotionally-charged subjects.

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Timestamps for Important Segments

• [05:03] – Jealousy & career comparisons
• [07:33] – Conversation about drugs & mushrooms
• [11:10] – “Too Intimidating” & dating advice
• [16:15] – Should you tell a friend their partner is bad?
• [25:22] – Aging, existential dread, & how to embrace getting older
• [34:00] – Navigating short-term/professional relationships
• [41:10] – Are my standards too high in dating?
• [50:48] – How to explore/define femininity as a trans woman
• [60:06] – Not getting cast for Drag Race; advice for frustrated auditioners

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Conclusion

If you crave candid, comedic, and compassionate advice, this episode is a masterclass. Chelsea Handler, Bob the Drag Queen, and Monét X Change trade stories, empathy, and roast-level wit, but always circle back to the core advice: be yourself, embrace both your quirks and your ambitions, and don’t define success, love, or identity by other people’s rules. With rapid-fire jokes and hard-won wisdom, it’s an episode sure to make you laugh—and think.

Transcript

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[Narrator/Voiceover]

close your eyes. Exhale. Feel your body relax. And let go of whatever you're carrying today.

[Chelsea Handler]

Well, I'm letting go of the worry that I wouldn't get my new contacts in time for this class.

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I got them delivered free from 1-800-contacts. Oh, my gosh, they're so fast.

[Chelsea Handler]

And breathe. Oh, sorry. I almost couldn't breathe when I saw

[1-800-Contacts Advertiser]

the discount they gave me on my first order.

[Chelsea Handler]

Oh, sorry.

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Namaste.

[Chelsea Handler]

Visit 1-800-contacts.com today to save on your first order.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

1-800-contacts. How do you pronounce it, Mom?

[Monet X Change]

It's. It's pronounced wunderbar.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

It's not Wunderbarg.

[Monet X Change]

It's not Wunderbarg.

[Listener from Melbourne]

No, no.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Do you speak German, Chelsea?

[Marlena]

No, it's.

[Chelsea Handler]

Reckon sie Deutsche.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I don't freaking Z. Deutsch. Something about German, it sounds so. It just. Honestly, I love. I love German accent.

[Monet X Change]

It's a very aggressive language.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

And whenever I would say reason how much I love Heidi Klum, who's like, just like so soft and demure, and then she has like this, like, aggressive German accent.

[Chelsea Handler]

Excuse me, I'm gonna introduce myself. This is Chelsea Handler. And my mother was German.

[Derek]

And.

[Chelsea Handler]

But she wasn't your typical, like, scary accent German because my. My dad was Jewish. So I have a very, you know, I'm very sensitive to German accents. I don't know if you guys know about the history of Germans and Jews, but some.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Some shit, you know, no one's told me that. No one's mentioned it to me.

[Chelsea Handler]

So the first time. So my mom spoke in a German accent growing up, and it was really, like, sweet and elegant. It wasn't that harsh kind of German that, you know, that style, stereotypical German. But on my. Yes, my. My very first trip to Austria, where they speak German, I was on a train to Zermatt, Switzerland. Oh, sorry, Switzerland. I was in Switzerland going on the train to the Zermatt, which is a Ski town, right? A ski resort. And they had the conductor on the train was this very thick German accent. And I got so sick on that train ride up the. Because it was all too much as a Jewish person to hear a German person yelling at you on a train, no less. You know what I mean? And by the time I got to Zermatt, I was in bed for three days. I was like, I can't hear that accent again for three days. But everyone in Switzerland has that accent because so many Germans are there. So anyway, yeah, it's a trigger.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Cancel the train to Zermatt. The train is getting fully canceled.

[Monet X Change]

Sibling advisory, listeners. Let me tell you something. Y' all are mother tucking treat. We have the Duchess of Comedy in the house, a woman that I'm introducing.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Like, Duchess of Comedy. This is a hip hop podcast.

[Derek]

Yeah.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

We got the Duchess of Comedy, the queen of the house.

[Monet X Change]

We got Chelsea Handler in the house. Chelsea. Hi, Chelsea.

[Chelsea Handler]

Hi, Monet. Hi, Bob.

[Monet X Change]

It is such a pleasure having you here. You know, Chelsea, I have chased you around the continental United States, and you keep on eluding me. Is it eluding? Evading me? Evading me?

[Chelsea Handler]

Yeah, it's evading. It's actually avoiding, but you could say evading.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

You're funny.

[Monet X Change]

You should do comedy. We are so happy that you have it on the podcast. I went to. So Matteo Lane opened for you, and Matteo Lane is a very good friend of ours. We hung out with Matalane a lot, and he was opening for you, and I was gonna. He was inviting me to the show, and I ended up missing my flight to New York, so I missed that show, and my boyfriend heard about that story, and he bought me tickets to see in Portland. And I miss you in Portland.

[Shannon Maldonado]

Oh.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I told you this story on the podcast. You didn't listen. Why you didn't listen?

[Monet X Change]

I haven't listened yet.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Wow.

[Chelsea Handler]

Well, Bob is a much better friend than you give her credit for. And him, because he already told me this story on my podcast. And we are already hooking you up with tickets for the Wheel Turn, I think is in May here. I'm doing two shows.

[Monet X Change]

May 5th.

[Chelsea Handler]

Yeah, May 5th. So you can come to those shows and then come backstage so we can hang out.

[Monet X Change]

I would love that choice. Were you at the Wiltern?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Is that where Drag from Christmas was?

[Monet X Change]

Yeah, that's where we saw Todrick at the.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Yeah, it's a really.

[Monet X Change]

It's a really nice venue.

[Chelsea Handler]

Yeah, that's a.

[Monet X Change]

And it's right there in Koreatown. Yeah.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Do you still get jealous of other comedians Cause I do. I get jealous of other drag queens sometimes. I'm not gonna lie to you. I just found out that, like, one of my peers is doing, like, Radio City Music hall, and I was like, I was at the Yuk Yuk Comedy Club in Andalusia, Alabama, this past weekend. I was like, why am I at the Chuckle Shack?

[Marlena]

Yeah.

[Chelsea Handler]

Yeah, I do. Yeah, of course. We talked about this, too. Like, that's a very natural emotion to come up. You know, we talked about this when you did my podcast that, like. Yeah, you cut.

[Monet X Change]

Yeah. Bob, did you listen to your podcast you did with Chelsea?

[Chelsea Handler]

No, he was barely. No, he was unconscious when we did it, but. But, yeah, that's a natural. It's just what you do with that emotion, right? Like, as long as you don't act on it and you don't act in bad faith, like, that's gross, because you don't want to act like that. But, yes, of course. Being jealous and being, like, envious of what other people are doing, I mean, that's the name of the game. It's hard to avoid that when you're in this industry and it's constantly being thrown in your face. I'm just taking a couple of Viagra, okay. For this.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I was like, is Chelsea popping pills? But, you know, I medicate. That's how I do it. Okay, real quick. I'm gonna be messy. I will say who I get jealous of. If you say the comedians you get jealous of. Do not fall in.

[Monet X Change]

Bob is very controversial on this podcast. He's always doing shit like this. Do not take the bail.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I've got a good black boy. Okay? I get very jealous of Trixie Mattel and Bianca Del Rio, who are both good friends of mine, but they're just so fucking successful that I get jealous. And I'm openly. I'm being open, honest about that.

[Chelsea Handler]

I'll tell you who I'm jealous of or who I was most recently jealous of. Ali Wong. Because Joe Koy is good friends with Ali Wong, and he told me that when her special, her most recent Netflix special came out, she didn't do any press for it. She didn't go on any talk shows. She didn't do any podcasts. She doesn't do podcasts. She doesn't do anything. And I was like, wait a second. How's that possible? Like, I was like. I was jealous of her ability to just say, I'm not doing any of that. I'm like, wait, oh, I didn't even know that was an option.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

So she's like, pass.

[Chelsea Handler]

Yeah. She's like, I'm not. She's like, I'm not gonna promote this. I guess, basically, I mean, I don't wanna speak for her. Cause I don't know if that's what she said. But she didn't promote it in any, you know, way, like visible way. They should just put it out there. And I was like, oh, I'm jealous of that.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

No, I heard it verbatim. She said, I'm not promoting this shit. I heard it verbatim. She sent me a voice note that said, I don't even care if this gets viewed. I heard LA won't say that.

[Monet X Change]

You know, last night I went to go see Jasmine Sullivan, who's an amazing Grammy Award winner, two time Grammy award winning, first time.

[Chelsea Handler]

You guys, I'm a Grammy nominee, a recent Grammy loser. So it's a pretty sensitive. It's a pretty sensitive topic.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

So no different exes, please don't bring

[Chelsea Handler]

up anything that starts with a G. Actually, I would prefer it if you didn't bring it.

[Monet X Change]

But, you know. So I was going through. I saw last night and my friend and I. Cause I recently really got like into drugs. I fucking love drugs.

[Chelsea Handler]

Oh, I just took a mushroom. I just took a little mushroom capsule earlier this morning.

[Monet X Change]

Oh, my God. Okay. Yeah, so I heard about the capsules. So my friend. So I've done mushrooms before. I went to. Where was it? I went to Joshua Tree Atlassian. I mean, I did everything. If it was a drug, I did it. And I went to ancient Mesopotamia. It was the greatest time of my life. So at this concert, I was like, I want to do some mushrooms. But he chickened out. He didn't do them. And I did not do mushrooms last night. I didn't. Dawan.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Oh, yeah. The one does not strike me, by the way. I mean, I don't know the one. Dual listeners at home, but I could not see the one.

[Monet X Change]

He's very straight laced. But he wanted to ask me to do mushrooms. Mushrooms are great. Mushrooms are great. Mushrooms and acid together. Yeah.

[Derek]

Yeah.

[Chelsea Handler]

You know what? Everything's becoming available in chocolate form too. Like, I was in Whistler and someone's like, oh, they gave me some lsd. Mushroom lsd. I was like, what? Mushroom lsd. I'm like, when did that become a thing? But now you can put chocolate, like you could put any drug in chocolate, you know, so that way you can like just take a tiny bit to see how you like it. And then if you like. Yeah. Instead of a capsule is more of A commitment than a little bite of chocolate to me.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Yeah, I recently had. I recently had a portobello salad and I went fucking bananas at the strip mall in Ronkonkoma. This is sipping advice. Serena, we were giving some advice, so let's get into the advice giving, honey. All right, we have some.

[Monet X Change]

They're all audio submissions, right, Jacob?

[Chelsea Handler]

Yes, me.

[Monet X Change]

Oh, yes, audio.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Ooh. We love listening to our listeners.

[Monet X Change]

So, Chelsea, I mean, you give advice on your podcast and on here. Sometimes people give us written submissions and they leave out so much context, and

[Chelsea Handler]

we really, really know. I know about it, by the way. You guys, I don't want to throw this or rub this in your face, but I just got a Webby honoree for best advice, best podcast. So I guess that means. Oh, my goodness, you guys didn't.

[Listener]

Right.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Because we're actually very sensitive about it.

[Monet X Change]

So you. Yeah, you cannot mention the letter W anymore in this podcast.

[Chelsea Handler]

So no GS and no Ws. Okay. So no W. Okay. Yeah, I'm ready now.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Yeah. So let's go ahead. And just also, by the way, if you all want to submit a question or get some advice from us, you can be. We only take it from our patrons,

[Monet X Change]

so please join our patron.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Go to siblingrobalypodcast.com support.

[Monet X Change]

Support.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

All right, let's listen to our first.

[Asha]

Hey, Bobby Monet. My name is Asha and my pronouns are she, her, and. I am a 30 something year old single mother of a son and I have devoted my life to making sure that our life is everything that I wanted it to be and what I thought it should be. So me and my son have our own house, you know, I purchased my car, have a really good job, and now I am realizing that my dating life or love life has suffered because I've always been so go goal oriented and driven to make a better life for us. And now it seems like dating is a tad bit harder because I am labeled not difficult, but I am intimidating because I have all these things, life experiences that a lot of the men in my area don't. And I was wondering if you guys could give me any advice on how to bring in more dating traffic and maybe for me to be more relatable to men so that I can stop being called intimidating. Any advice would be greatly appreciated. Signs. Looking for Prince Charming.

[Monet X Change]

Looking for Prince Charming.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Let our guest go first.

[Monet X Change]

Absolutely. As a woman and as a woman who's super sexy, successful Chelsea, please let her know what's poppin.

[Chelsea Handler]

Oh, yeah, yeah.

[Monet X Change]

Yes, Chelsea is successful and Successful.

[Chelsea Handler]

He tried to, but he. I think, yes, I've heard that all the time. I hear that this morning from someone, you know, that you're too. You're intimidating. And it's like, well, I mean, what are you supposed to do when you're like that? Because I'm not trying to be intimidating. My natural disposition is just bitchy, you know, like, it's not personal. It's not personal. That's just, like, my thing. So you have to kind of, like, I have to work extra hard to be friendly and. Because I don't like to be insincere. So when I, you know, when I try to be sweeter or nicer, sometimes I feel like it comes off as insincere. But it goes a long way with other people, and it helps. Other people kind of relax around you a lot when you kind of disarm them. So I think you just have to work in overtime a little bit. Just be really conscientious of being warm. You know what I mean? Because then you're exuding warmth. You know, you can't be really mindful of something and then not express it. Like, whatever's at the top of your mind will be relayed. So I definitely have that problem. I could totally relate to it. And, yeah, you just gotta, like, exercise real warmth and just, like, you know, kind of overcorrect.

[Monet X Change]

I feel like, isn't it kind of

[Bob the Drag Queen]

worth it to just stick to your, like, what you do? And then when someone actually does get through the one that does make it through, the one that does date you is gonna be. That connection, I feel will be so much more genuine than you being like, hi. Hi. Because I have a mom who was also one of the people who was considered very intimidating. My mom had very few partners growing up. I mean, like, two or three, my mom. But my mom also is one of the folks who was like. I think. I think something may have traumatized my mom once because she would always give, like, this really weird, specific dating advice.

[Monet X Change]

Like what?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Like, when did she come home? And she'd be like, if you ever go on a date, she'd be like, listen, come here.

[Monet X Change]

Listen to me.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

If you ever go on a date, never let them drive. Always drive yourself. Because you don't know if they're gonna leave you somewhere and take off without you. So always drive yourself. So obviously, my mom probably got left somewhere.

[Chelsea Handler]

Somebody was like, yeah, that doesn't exactly. But, well, no, because you can draw on the right people. I mean. Yeah, you're right. It rules out all the wrong people. But sometimes you can miss the right person just by your personality. So if you're a little bit more inviting, then, you know they're going to get down to business and see who you are eventually anyway. But I think you cast a wider net when you act a little friendlier than intimidating.

[Monet X Change]

Yeah, I know. I mean, I know that there was, like, all these old tropes of you. You attract the energy that you put out there. I know all that stuff. But I think that. I think. I agree with Chelsea more. I think that you need to, like, you need to put. Give out what you're trying to receive. And if you keep on getting notes of, you look too mean or you look too surly or you're not coming through, you need to. Yeah, I'm talking about you. You need to really work on disarming that a little bit and just to, you know, give a little warmth so that people can be like, all right, I like that. And then. And then explore more once y'. All you dating and start fucking.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Because that.

[Monet X Change]

Because when you start fucking, that's when you really start discovering who people are.

[Chelsea Handler]

Yeah. Yeah. That's how. Yeah, exactly. I had no idea. My. Sorry, I was. I was just going to say. I was. I. I was going to say something personal, that I had no idea how dirty my boyfriend was until we started fucking. And then I was like, whoa. I was like, that's hot.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

He was dirty. I started taking on back shots. Hello, Coy. And so something Monike. Monet is much friendlier than I. Monet has more friends than I do people, really?

[Monet X Change]

That's not true. You have a lot of friends.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I have a lot of friends. But, like, you just make friends, like, so fast. Cause Monet is. Monet is just nice.

[Monet X Change]

I'm a Pisces. I'm a Pisces.

[Chelsea Handler]

I'm a Pisces, too. Monet, by the way, Pisces, one of

[Bob the Drag Queen]

the producers of RuPaul's Drag Race, who

[Monet X Change]

started producing, like, oh, my God.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

At the very end of my season, like, so her and I barely. She's like an Emmy Award winner. She's, like, really big deal in the Drag Race world. She came up as.

[Monet X Change]

So we're. So. We're at the. We're at the Creator Awards now, to

[Bob the Drag Queen]

be fair to everyone. I was just kidding.

[Monet X Change]

Okay, so this woman barely knows Bob, right? I've done two seasons of drag as her. I did season 10 and also all Stars. So Bob and I. So I'm talking to her at the Qwerty Awards, like, having like a. We're talking about something not serious, but it was not like a. Whatever.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I didn't know what it was. I had just approached y'.

[Shannon Maldonado]

All.

[Monet X Change]

Yeah, we just. We just. We were talking. Me and this person are talking to Bob comes. Yeah, Bob. Yeah, Monet, tell Mandy all that shit you was talking about her backstage. I was like, mandy?

[Chelsea Handler]

No.

[Monet X Change]

She's like, yeah.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

He's like, no.

[Monet X Change]

Monet said.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

And I was like, oh, my gosh. Yeah, Pop. All that shit you talking about Mandy before all that shit you were saying.

[Monet X Change]

And she's looking like, what is going on?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Was like, what the fuck? I was like, I thought she'd be aware of my personality, but she was like.

[Monet X Change]

It was a very Chris Rock, Will Smith situation. I thought you were gonna slap me.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Oh, my God.

[Monet X Change]

That's what I felt.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Go to our. Let's go to our next question. Are you ready, baby?

[Chelsea Handler]

Yeah, I'm ready.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

All right, we have our next. Our next.

[Monet X Change]

Next question.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Our next caller. Oh, yeah. Also, before we got audio question, they'd be like, hi, I need help dating. Like, okay, where are you? Are you in the city? What's going on?

[Listener]

Hi, Bob Monet and Chelse Rachel from Baltimore. I just have to say I'm a huge fan of all of you. This trio is iconic. My question was about something that Bob said on a advisory recently. Bob, you said that you don't like to intervene in people's relationships if maybe you don't like someone's partner. My question is, what do you do if they ask you if they're like, hey, girl, what do you think about Jimmy? Do you like him? Like, does that allow you to say something at that point? Let me know what you think. Love you guys.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Okay, so. So thank you. So let me just set the president. So what it is. I have a rule, a hard and fast rule that if I don't like my friends, partners, I don't say anything. I just let the relationship run its course because I am afraid. Because when someone's blinded by love, when they are love struck or dickmatized or pussmafied.

[Monet X Change]

Yeah.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Or pussified or whole McGolds or whatever it is, you know, they can't see things. So you'll say stuff like, I don't know if he's a good guy. And they're like, well, fuck you. We're in love. Don't ever talk to me again. And we're done. And I'm like, okay, this is a lot for me. So I just let People live their lives, so that's where I'm coming from. I'll let you lead with the advice on this one. Yeah.

[Monet X Change]

Because, I mean, you know, I don't agree with that rule again. I'm not. I'm not just gonna come up to any friend and be like, I don't like your boyfriend.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

But you said it about Jacob soon as we started dating. Yeah.

[Monet X Change]

And then look how that worked out. Y' all still together. So I guess I was wrong on that one. But if, like, if my. If you had a boyfriend that I did not like and there was something going on, I would tell you. I would not just let it fly and let it ride until, you know, it's like, it, like, fucked you up. Like, I think not telling a friend that there's something wrong with their partner that you. That they're doing that you don't like. I don't think that's good. That's.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

But they. I don't need to, like. They like the partner. Yeah, I don't need to like your partner.

[1-800-Contacts Advertiser]

I mean, there's.

[Chelsea Handler]

Well, I think like a. I always am going to tell people is. I mean, not unsolicited anymore, but, like, you know, when it's a really close friend, like. Or your sister. Like, my sisters. I dated this guy for a while, and when I broke up with him, my family was like, oh, God, you know, none of us could stand him. And I was like, well, why didn't you say anything? And they're like, oh, like, we're gonna say anything to you. Like, you're gonna listen to us. I'm like, if both of my sisters came to me and sat down and said, hey, your boyfriend's, like, creeping us out. We don't like him, and we don't trust him. Like, I'm sorry. I would have listened, especially if they had come to me together. I would have been like, oh, fuck. Well, that's a big red flag.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

How long were you dating?

[Chelsea Handler]

We were dating on and off for a couple of years. It was a pretty volatile relationship, and I knew deep down nobody liked him. But no one said anything to me. And it wouldn't have probably. It would have fallen on deaf ears had it been, like, a friend. But, like, if it was a, you know, like, any friend. But if it was someone close to me and said, like, listen, this is a really unhealthy dynamic. Especially if two people came to me at the same time, it would have influenced me. So I'm of the mindset. Like, I will never lie. If somebody Asked me to tell them the truth. I'll be like, always. You know, you have to be truthful, I think, to your friends. But saying it unsolicited isn't really welcome. You know, nobody really wants to hear it. And if they do want to hear it, they're going to ask you. And then once they do.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Let's flip the script. Yeah, let's flip the script. Let's say your partner, you get a new friend and your partner is like, I don't like this bitch. Something's off about this bitch. She is weird. She's got weird vibes. And you're like, oh my God, I love her. I'm having so much fun. And he's like, I. She is. I'm telling you, this bitch is fucking weird. And I don't like her. And she's got problems. What are you doing? That's.

[Chelsea Handler]

Yeah, I would. Well, with my partner now if he doesn't. That's happened. And if he doesn't like someone, they're out work.

[Monet X Change]

Chelsea. Chelsea.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

But I'm saying.

[Monet X Change]

But also. But when you have like a good boyfriend or like a long term partner, you guys be, Become really good friends. That person becomes a confidant. That person becomes someone that you can trust and confide in. So if they're sensing something, there's probably, you know, there's some validity to it. Just like if you told me something, I would be like, I would, I would take it into consideration. But Chelsea's like, nah, if he said

[Bob the Drag Queen]

they out there out. I'm, I'm just, I'm just cutting with

[Chelsea Handler]

your, you know, like, who needs any new friends anyway? Unless you're both on board with it?

[Monet X Change]

Oh my God.

[Chelsea Handler]

Right?

[Monet X Change]

Agreed. I am, I am 32 years old. I have, I have, I have like six or seven best friends that I know I can count on. I don't need new friends. I don't need to go out there and make a whole bunch of friends. I have my crew.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I've told you about Queens.

[Asha]

I don't like.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I'm like, I don't like that. I don't say, stop hanging out with her. But I'm like, I do not fuck with her.

[Monet X Change]

Yeah.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

And then some of them turn around and did me dirty.

[Monet X Change]

I know, I know.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Anyway, we're not saying, lord, don't get me sweating over here. But if, if someone, if someone is asking me specifically, I will give them my input. I will say that if someone's like, just please, I want to know. Please tell me, then, yes, I will. I Will try to make it. I will. I won't say words like, I hate him. I'll say stuff like, well, you know, that person's not my favorite. Or I'll say, I don't think we vibe. Or I'll say, I'm. I'm.

[Monet X Change]

You don't think you what?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I don't think. Oh, my God. We vibe. Kind of a. He said, I don't think that we, you know, that we mesh. Or I'll say, I'm shocked that you two are together.

[Monet X Change]

Yeah.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Because you don't seem. I'm shocked that you. That you. That you feel compatible.

[Chelsea Handler]

Or.

[Narrator/Voiceover]

Yeah.

[Chelsea Handler]

Like. Or they have a smelly pussy. Like something simple.

[Monet X Change]

Yeah.

[Chelsea Handler]

You know, just to shut it down. Something simple just to shut the conversation down. Because there's really no argument for that. For a smelly.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Like, I'm pretty. I'm pretty sure everyone told me that. That he has cheese dick. Everyone. It's a big rumor around WeHo that

[Monet X Change]

he has a little cheese what? It's like, what's your dick?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Are you into cheese dick at all?

[Monet X Change]

No, I'm not into it. I've definitely been confronted with cheese dick, and it is the most vile thing.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Some people are really into it. I know.

[Chelsea Handler]

I don't think I've ever seen anything. I don't know that I didn't. I don't think I've ever been confronted with cheese dick. You have to explain exactly what that is.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

So cheese dick is people who died. People who are uncut.

[Monet X Change]

Oh, yeah.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

So if you have foreskin and if you have. So apparently. Are you cut?

[Monet X Change]

I don't know.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

You don't know if you're cut?

[Monet X Change]

I'm right in the middle. I'm on the intersection of cutting.

[Chelsea Handler]

Is that what happened? Did you go and get.

[Monet X Change]

I think. I think that the doctor was a little drunk, and he didn't do it.

[Chelsea Handler]

Was the loyal.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Like, I'm good.

[Chelsea Handler]

I was your doctor.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I'm sure the chocolate kicked in halfway through the brisk. Yes.

[Monet X Change]

There's guys with. Well, people with foreskin. And then when you don't necessarily take. Clean your penis properly or.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I mean, it happens to a lot of people. So, like, it's just like, if you had a day and you're kind of sweaty, it all kind of coagulates.

[Narrator/Voiceover]

Okay.

[Monet X Change]

It calls. It's called smegma.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Okay.

[Monet X Change]

That's like the word for it. And is that smegma? Yes, that is smegma. And then so it accumulates there. And like, it can be. They call it dick cheese. Like that's like the urban descent.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

It's a little cheesy. Have you tasted it? Like a smelly cheese.

[Chelsea Handler]

I'm really glad. I don't know about that. You know, I mean. And I've had sex with a lot of guys, so for me not to. But I've also been pretty wasted a lot, so maybe I knew it. Like, maybe it was present and I just didn't know.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

So just like I said, a lot of guys. But enough about last weekend.

[Chelsea Handler]

Enough about March. You guys. Okay? We're in a new month.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

You know, I don't particularly, but there are guys who are. There are people who are like, Emmy.

[Monet X Change]

Oh, yeah, for sure.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I do like smelly armpits, though. Like, natural smelly or.

[Monet X Change]

Yeah, okay, natural.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Like a natural. If it's like a little smell, I'm into that. Are you into that at all?

[Asha]

Tell the kids.

[Shannon Maldonado]

Or are you into that?

[Chelsea Handler]

It's like a little bit of a stink. Yeah. Like a scent from. It has to be specific to them. Like.

[Monet X Change]

Yeah, yeah.

[Chelsea Handler]

Like, I like. Yeah, yeah, totally.

[Monet X Change]

I agree. I like if you. I mean, if you want. I am not particularly into, like, I just got in the shower and I, like, use all of the Axe body spray. I want you to smell like, you know, like. Like natural.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Like, you know, I'm not into lifting up an armpit and just smelling like, degree or like arm and hammer.

[Monet X Change]

Yeah, that's.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

That's. That's. That's. That does not smell hot to me.

[Chelsea Handler]

I like this.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

But if we're, like, working together, I

[Chelsea Handler]

like the way skin smells. You know, when you can smell someone's skin, you know, just their scent.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Like, even their serial killer.

[Chelsea Handler]

Ye.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I like the waist with some sort

[Monet X Change]

of beans and a nice guy on tea, you know?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

You know how skin.

[Monet X Change]

No, but I know what you mean. It's like. It's like that natural smell of skin.

[Chelsea Handler]

Yeah. Well, this natural scent that you emit from your pores because some people have a funk and, you know, that comes from, like, within, like, your gut.

[Listener]

Right?

[Chelsea Handler]

Like, even your breath. Sometimes when people's breath smells like you can smell, it's from their stomach. Like, I don't want to smell your breath ever. Like, I don't ever want to smell anything coming out of your mouth. I don't want that. I want to smell what's coming out of your skin.

[Monet X Change]

Your skin.

[Chelsea Handler]

Write that down, Bob.

[1-800-Contacts Advertiser]

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[Monet X Change]

Shall we do the next question?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

That's my new favorite quote. I love the way skin smells. Just imagine Chelsea behind.

[Chelsea Handler]

Call that. That's what the name of this episode should be. Okay.

[Listener from Melbourne]

Hi, Monae, Bob and Chelsea. I am a sister gay man, and I live in Melbourne, Australia. Originally from New Zealand. Love you guys. Listen to you guys all the time. My question is, I am 29, approaching 30, which is still very young, and I am very aware that that's very young. But a lot of people around me, friends and family members, are getting older, and I feel like I'm also getting, you know, time goes quickly. 10 years has gone by, 20 years has gone by. My question is, how do you deal with getting older and aging? For me, it's on my mind recently of how everyone who loves just dies. And I'm gonna die one day, and that's fine. I'm not really scared of it, but it's really just starting to hit me now, and I want to do as much as I can in the time I have.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Yeah.

[Listener from Melbourne]

So how do you guys deal with it? How do you not dwell on it?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Did his mushroom chocolate just kick in? I think so.

[Chelsea Handler]

That was, like, platitude. It was one platitude after another. He's like, first I'm gonna be 29, then I'm gonna be 30. And it's just hit me that after that I'm gonna be 31, and then I'm gonna die.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I don't know about you guys, but everyone around me is getting older.

[Monet X Change]

Yeah, me too. That's everyone on the planet.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I don't know about you guys. My life is different. I don't know how it is in America, but I live in Australia. Mike. Everyone gets absolutely older.

[Monet X Change]

That was. Yeah. I mean, yeah, we're all getting older. I mean, I will say no. There is a thing when. When you.

[Derek]

When you're.

[Monet X Change]

When you're in your 20s, you feel like you're gonna be young forever. And like, when you're.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

That is so true.

[Monet X Change]

I'm gonna be young forever. Like, I'm gonna live forever. And when you. When you are approaching 30 or you get to your 30s, you're like, you know what? That when I turned 30, I was like, great, I'm 30. I can't wait to be 35. I can wait to be 40 and just bitch. Take care of yourself, do a little drugs, and have the best time of your life.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Okay, everyone. Okay. That.

[Chelsea Handler]

That's a great prescription.

[Monet X Change]

Drugs are great.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I'm not saying drugs are bad, but that's just. That is. That is odd advice to be like, if. If you feel like drugs are for you, do drugs. It's not just like, everyone, go do drugs. Everyone, go do drug. Go do your. Your druggie drug. Some of us can't do drugs. If you can, because then I won't make it to 30 to 35.

[Chelsea Handler]

Good point, Bob. Good save, Bob.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Some of us had to tap out.

[Chelsea Handler]

Otherwise, you were about to get. I'm sober.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

So Monet talks about all the time. I'm sober, okay? I can't. I've had my opportunity with drugs and alcohol. So I guess I did do drugs, too.

[Monet X Change]

You did it, and you found it wasn't real. You know? Yeah.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Take Monet's advice.

[Monet X Change]

Yeah.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

We're back to you, Chelsea. You'll take this one first.

[Chelsea Handler]

Well, aging. How do you deal with aging? I mean. Well, first of all, you fight every step of the way.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

And then.

[Chelsea Handler]

But no, I think you just. I mean, listen, we all come to a realization at some point. You know, it's like, usually when you're about to go into a new decade, where you're like, oh, fuck, wait. You know, the other morning I woke up, I was like, okay, 38. I'm like, that's a good age. Like, 38 solid. I'm not 40 yet. And then I'm like, wait, bitch, you're 47. What are you talking about?

[1-800-Contacts Advertiser]

38.

[Chelsea Handler]

I'm like, where'd you get that number from? And then I was like, oh, the mushrooms. I know. I was like, did I take another mushroom while I was sleeping? But 47, I was like, oh, fuck, I'm almost, you know, I'm gonna 50 in three years. But, I mean, aging does get better. Like, you get better with age. Everyone does get better with age as long as you have the right attitude. And being in a place of fear about aging is just not. Like, it doesn't work. You can't be fearful about aging. It's the inevitable. You know, it's like you're going to go to the bathroom again. That's also inevitable. So, like, you can't be fearful of what's going to Happen. You have to kind of just embrace it and be like, okay. If you're really present about it, you're like, this is the last time I'm ever going to be 29, and I want to make it count. And you just kind of say that to yourself each day. Some days it's harder to remember that than others, but it's a good mantra to remind yourself, like, you only get this day once, right? And that helps you be more present and helps you really, like, you know, enjoy your life and not worry about aging, because that's pointless anyway. So you just want to try and get that out of your head with drugs, as Monet said.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I would say I am definitely. I am much better as a. On every level in my 30s than I was in my 20s. I remember being like, this is it. Like, I'll never be the. I am better at basically everything that I've ever done now that I am in. In my. In my. In my mid-30s. And I. I do think that I've had moments where I've had, like, existential laying in bed being like, I cannot believe I'm gonna die. I can't believe that I'm gonna. I've had moments where I was in bed and I was like, I can't sleep. I go, I know that I'm not. I'm gonna die in this moment. But, like, one day I will just stop existing. There's literally nothing I can do about it. But then after, like, the seventh time having that, I think it's actually kind of more easing. Like, I'm not religious. I don't understand people who are truly religious who are afraid to die because I'm like, bitch, you're going to heaven. Like, if you're a Christian and you really believe in heaven, you should be like, oh, this the way they describe heaven in the Bible? I'd be like, bitch, I can't wait.

[Monet X Change]

But half of them who are Christians, they know that they're doing so much shit on this planet that they will never get into heaven. So that's why. Because they're afraid, because they know that they're not going to get there.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

But then the idea of actually making it to heaven and, like, existing forever is the most exhausting.

[Monet X Change]

Doesn't sound great.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Just like, you never stop it. You just always existing. Sometimes I'm just like. I'm not saying that I'm like, I want to be done existing right now, but, like, the idea. Let's say. Let's say that the scientists are all right and the sun is going to explode and then all the planets are going to get sucked into it and then there's going to be, like a big empty void and we have to reset and It'll take another 5 million years before the next planet's even formed. What the fuck are we gonna be doing half an hour? Not just looking down and being like, oh, there goes the empty void. That sounds horrendous.

[Chelsea Handler]

Yeah. Also, it doesn't sound. When people say, oh, like, in a couple years, you'll be able to live to your 120, it's like, no fucking thanks. Like, I mean, let's wrap it up. You know what I mean? Like, a good 70 year run is plenty for me. I'm not trying to be 100. And I don't want to be here exactly for the same reason, Bob. Thank you for bringing that up. I don't want to be here for. For floods and fires. It's already starting, honestly, and I wanna bounce, you know, so.

[Monet X Change]

Exactly. Yeah. And honestly, yeah, I think I'll be done by around 80. Like, when I start, like, shitting myself and I can't take care of myself, I wanna be done. If I get that old, can you please just smother me? Don't tell anyone to come.

[Chelsea Handler]

You say that now. Yeah, you say that now. First of all, if you've been shitting yourself for a long time, this isn't gonna just start happening when you're 70. I mean, that's not even a realistic goal you're setting for yourself. But you say that now.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

One bad weekend, I'm like, all right, take me out, girl. You told me.

[Chelsea Handler]

Yeah, exactly. That's so true. I'm like. I always think. I'm like, would I be upset if I died? I'm like, no, not really. Like, I could. It just. I would just like to go down, you know, in the middle of the night. Like, I would like to pass away quietly in my sleep. Obviously, that's everyone.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Like, like, insecure or Breaking Bad. Like, five seasons and you're done. I don't want to be like, Next Top Model. I don't want to be on cycle 67, you know?

[Listener]

Right.

[Monet X Change]

But I've recently been sucked into time. Have you been on Time Talk, where, like, these people, like, break down time and how obviously time is a construct.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Do you like TikTok Chelsea?

[Derek]

Yeah.

[Chelsea Handler]

I mean, you know. Yeah, I like it. I'm on it. I look at it occasionally. I'm not on it a lot.

[Monet X Change]

Yeah. I just feel like time talking.

[Chelsea Handler]

I feel like the Chinese are trying to brainwash us with TikTok. Like, I've read too many articles about, like, subliminal messages on TikTok. So I'm already brainwashed in so many other departments. I don't need another brainwashing. Do you know what I mean? So I try, honestly, I want to

[Bob the Drag Queen]

drive over to your Beverly Hills right now and you and me make like a dancing TikTok.

[Chelsea Handler]

Oh, my God. You guys should see me.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Renegade. Renegade.

[Monet X Change]

Oh, my God, I would love it.

[Chelsea Handler]

You should see me try to dance, you guys. It's so pathetic. I have no rhythm at all and I try to catch the rhythm. I'm like, the rhythm is not going to get me. So I've been dancing more, but, yeah, I need drugs to dance. It helps.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Comment below if you want me to drive over to Chelsea's house and make a renegade.

[Monet X Change]

I would love to see Chelsea do the renegade. We gotta get Chelsea. Renegade. Chelsea is gonna shoot Chelsea. Do you know how to shoot?

[Chelsea Handler]

I could learn. I could learn. Yeah, I could do that. Just jerk off in each direction. Is that what that is? Oh, yeah, I could do that. Is that what Emoji's looking at? Yeah, that's what emo is seeing.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

All right, let's do our next question.

[Monet X Change]

This is. This is some good advice for giving. This is great advice.

[Chelsea Handler]

I think I'm doing most of the advice giving you guys.

[Asha]

You're not really.

[Chelsea Handler]

Neither of you have been helpful since this episode began.

[Asha]

Chelsea. Yes. I said Monet's name first on purpose.

[Monet X Change]

Thank you.

[Asha]

Question would be, how do you navigate being in short term relationships with people? So I know as entertainers, you're probably meeting people that you aren't necessarily going to know for a long time. So I was wondering, just how do you go about those kinds of relationships? Because obviously you don't want to be short with someone if they're working for or with you. So I was just wondering basically how you navigate that kind of dynamic with another person.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Yeah, that's it. I think, like, they sent me being, like, professional and maybe friendships.

[Monet X Change]

If you're at, like, a venue and you meet, you know, the person, the runner, the runner of the venue that day, like, how do you manage those relationships? You want to take it first? I went first last time.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Okay. You know, I will say this. People are often, once they actually get past the face, the me not smiling a lot, people are like, oh, wow, I'm shocked to realize that you're really nice. And I'm like, yeah, I'm not a monster. I Just don't like what's. What I'm looking for frivolities, niceties. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I just don't like being like, you know, hi.

[Chelsea Handler]

That's how I am. Exactly.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

And once they meet, they're like, why? You're really, really fucking cool. And I just try to be friendly and try to get. Try to get the same response that I want back. I, I will say that I, I try not to get too, like, you know, you ever met someone who wants to trauma dump on you as soon as they meet you? And I'm like, I don't want to be that open. You know what I mean? I would like for you to earn my trauma dump, earn my load, earn my trouble load before we just, like, I meet you one night and you're like, in third grade, everyone said my head looked like a planet, and they called me Planet Head. And now I, I can't look at globes. I'm like, I don't, I don't need. By the way, I'm sorry if anyone out there has planet trauma and you, you have, you're called Planet Head or something. I kind of trigger Planet Head watching right now. But I definitely try to. I try to keep it not professional. I mean, maybe, like, for example, here's a great example. This guy named Nick who works at the Improv in Dania Beach, Florida. So Nick came into the room. He was the cocktail waiter, and he was just like one of those. But you've probably seen this, Chelsea, like, just when someone meets you, like, especially the comic, they're just enamored. They're like, oh, my God, I cannot

[Monet X Change]

believe someone is enamored by you.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

But even me.

[1-800-Contacts Advertiser]

Wow.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Even me. I just can't believe I'm here with. This is so exciting. And I was, of course, being really friendly with Nick. I, I, we, we. I, I think I did follow him on Instagram or let him follow me on Instagram.

[Monet X Change]

I don't give my number.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Nick is very pretty. Nick is very, very pretty.

[1-800-Contacts Advertiser]

Would you.

[Monet X Change]

Would you, Nick?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Yeah. Under the right circumstances, sure.

[Chelsea Handler]

Right circumstances.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Under the, under the right. If the moon is in the right place, you know, then, yes. But also, I, I did give Nick some advice. Here's some advice. There's some advice I gave to a person who's saying about aging. I, for. I forgot to say this. And this stuff's on tv. And it's true. I really believe that everyone take a lot of pictures of your body in your 20s. Take a lot. I mean, photograph your body from every angle and all the clothes and underwear, all this stuff. Because in later in life you will be so happy that you documented your body throughout time. You don't have to share it, you don't have to post it. You can put it in a Google Drive, lock it in a safe. But I think you should definitely be taking pictures of your body.

[Monet X Change]

Yeah. Get all the news then when you are younger and you have them for the rest of your life.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

But I try to be friendly. I don't trauma dump on them. I don't. I do. I am very comfortable setting boundaries with people I just met. Very comfortable. I famously, well, between me and Monet, got into an argument in St. Louis, Missouri one time. No, I was in Kansas City, Missouri at Mohart. This guy came up and he was like, hey, let me, let me carry your bags to your car for you. And I said, oh, no, no, no, no, thank you, I'll carry my own bag. He goes, no, no, no, come on. And he's like, like. So we are both tug of war with my luggage. And he's like, no, come on, let me. And we're in the dressing room and then I, I looked him in and I said, I really feel like I'm not being unclear. Please stop touching my luggage, please. And then everyone in the room was like. And I was like, I don't want this guy touching my fucking bags. So maybe I'm not the best person to get this advice from. Monae, what do you.

[Monet X Change]

Chelsea?

[Chelsea Handler]

I like the question. I love the question. Cause it really gives you an idea of what, where this person's head's at, you know, because you're, he's clearly like, does it. Yeah, like those short interactions. Like some people are really annoyed by that. You know, the niceties and the kind of like the, the bullshit like in between when you're not really with friends with someone or have a relationship. But I would just say like to be open minded because you never know when you're going to meet somebody that you will have a relationship develop with, even if it seems like it's an ephemeral. Then you're just like working with them for a night or a week. Like you never know. Like, you could meet somebody that would be a long standing friendship if you're open minded. But yeah, you always be polite and just be respectful. But yeah, I'm like you, Bob. Like, I don't, I'm just like, you know, I'm short and to the point and then if I find something interesting, I'm like, oh. Then I'M curious about the person, but I like to be, like, pretty. Pretty, like, succinct.

[Monet X Change]

Yeah, I mean, I am. I am a pretty friendly person. I'll always like, hey, what's your name? And then we'll exchange names. And then there'll be like, a short, like, two second, two question. Will do an example.

[Shannon Maldonado]

I am.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Hey.

[Monet X Change]

Okay.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Oh, my God. Monet X change. Hi. I'm gonna be your cocktail waiter tonight. I love you so much.

[Monet X Change]

Oh, my God. I love you, too. What's your name?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

My name is Carl.

[Monet X Change]

Carl.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Yeah. I'm from Atlanta. My mom is obsessed with you. My brother loves you so much.

[Monet X Change]

Oh, thank you. Well, I'm very obsessible, and we.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Oh, my God, you're so funny in person. What are you doing after the.

[Monet X Change]

I'll be heading to the next city.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Oh, like where? I'm off. I'm off tomorrow. Okay.

[Monet X Change]

They don't do all that. They don't do all that. Where's the next city?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I'm off tomorrow.

[Monet X Change]

The next city.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

What flight are you on?

[Marlena]

We're.

[Monet X Change]

We're going to Salzburg, Germany.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

What flight are you on? I was once on a train.

[Chelsea Handler]

Spring up. Germany. What the. What the fuck? Mira.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Like, I was headed one day was like, I had my grammy headed to Germany at the wheel turn.

[Monet X Change]

Yeah, I'll do that. And then. But okay. And then when it starts getting crazy, that's when my assistant Patty will step in and be like, hey, Monet, can we do something here for a second? I'm like, I'm sorry, I gotta go. And then Patty will save me. And then Patty's always there to save me.

[Chelsea Handler]

Yeah, you should always have somebody there to save you in that respect. But I don't know if that guy's a celebrity. He didn't sound like a celebrity. He just sounded like somebody who's generally annoyed with other people.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Yeah, we fully find out. That was, like, a letter from, like, Don Cheadle. Don Cheadle's like, a listener of the podcast. We should do a celebrity rendition. We should have all celebrities submit questions.

[Monet X Change]

We can DM a bunch of people, right?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Yeah, that'd be great. Yeah. So one day we'll reach out to you to have you just submit some terrible advice from me and Monet.

[Chelsea Handler]

Yeah.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

All right, let's listen to our next one.

[Derek]

Hey, Bob and Monet and Chelsea Handler. I really love you guys, so thanks for taking the time to listen to me. My name is is Derek. He. Him. His. I'm 28 and live in Washington, DC. My question for you guys is why can't I find a boyfriend slash partner? I think I'm pretty successful. I have a good career, I work out consistently, I have a cute dog, I think I have a nice smile and I'm a pretty nice guy. But I'm just wondering if I set standards that are too high, too high for any guy to really achieve. If a guy isn't between 5 foot 8 and 6 foot 2, have a pretty good job, a nice smile, a full head of hair, I probably.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I know you're supposed to go first. I have to jump in. It's your turn, it's your turn. You go, I think it's my turn.

[Chelsea Handler]

I think that you. I don't think your standards can ever be too high. I really don't. I think you should. As long as you set your standards at a level somebody will come and meet them. I don't think you should say, I think I have a nice smile, I think I have a good job. You should know that about yourself and be a little bit more confident and exude the knowingness to attract somebody who's also gonna recognize it. But I don't think there's anything. My friends tried to set me up. My manager, Alison tried to set me up with this guy in his mid-40s. This was like a couple years ago in New York City. And I went on a date with him and I was like, that he's a dad. Like, he's not a dad, but he may as well be a dad. You know, he had a dad bod. He had a dad attitude. Like I walked in the street in New York and he like grabbed me and pulled me on the sidewalk. And I didn't find that sexy. I found that dad like, you know, like that dad energy. Boring.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

The dad arm.

[Chelsea Handler]

Yeah, yeah, like boring. And I came home and I said to her, I go, hey, fuck you. If you think that I'm gonna fucking date somebody that's like basically a middle aged dad. And she's like, chelsea, you are middle aged. That's what's out there. I go, no, no. I go, that's not what's out there. That is. That is what's out there. But that's not what I'm going to settle for. I'm going to find somebody who's cool and my age and I'll find them. So don't bother me again with the setup because you're way off. And so I think you have to maintain those standards for yourself.

[Monet X Change]

Yeah, I agree. I think that I will say his team are very rigid. And he's like, I mean, I don't think I have high standards. You can't be below five eight. You can't be above six' two. You have to have black hair. He seems like his are very, very, very rigid. But again, if these are deal breakers for you, if finding someone outside of those height ranges, will you, you can't see yourself with that person, then why waste the time and date people who are outside of your preferences? Because then you won't. You know what I mean? I mean, I think that you should. If you are struggling this hard to find boyfriends or date people, then perhaps what you're looking for is just too crazy. So maybe try to break that a little bit. But if you know that you dating someone that's too short, that you can, can't, like, you know, it won't. It would be like a mind block for you. And why do that to yourself?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I, I think I'm coming at this from a very different perspective than you all. First of all, it, I have never met anyone who was a nice guy who described themselves as a nice guy. That is a, a someone saying I'm a very nice guy is a red flag. I'm, I'm, I'm a very, I'm a nice guy. That something from when people say they do, I'm like, I. This is a red flag. And I don't trust something about you. If you have to assert that you are very nice, something tells me that you're not. That, that you're not that nice. Also, I think that what you're saying, the reason why you're saying you're so great, they just kind of seem like shallow reasons. You're like, I have a nice job, I make a lot of money. I have a forehead of paper, I have a great smile, and I'm. I'm a nice guy. Like, you're. There is a small chance that you, that you might not be that desirable and it might not be because of your physical attributes or the car you drive. There are people in this world who are hot as the day is long, loaded, and are single because they are fucking insufferable. I mean, if there's a world where, where, where, where people get broken up with who are super, super high, it's like there's, there's something going on. And I think that this, that, that this person is being really riddled. They already have in mind what they want and they're not being open to anything. They're like, in their mind, they have Their future husband picked out. They know what he looks like, what he's wearing, they know what he. They probably have a fucking name for him.

[Monet X Change]

That's oftentimes with gay men, though. I feel like that happens a lot with gay guys. Especially when you live in a place like WeHo or whatever. You see the same people. Like, you see it's always a tall, really in shape, muscly white dude dating the same thing. It's like twin fuckers. I call them twin fuckers. And I see it all the time. Twin sister. I think it happens all the time. But I mean, I think obviously it's not only a gay thing. I'm sure it happens with straight people. It's with Chelsea Cantolis. But I do see that Chelsea and

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Joko are basically straight.

[Chelsea Handler]

But, you know, another thing is like, I once wrote one of those lists that people write, you know, when they want to, like, meet their person. Because my friend did it and it worked. And I wrote this whole list and I wrote something like, I said, please bring me a man. This, this, and this. Like, it was 50 things. And then I said, somebody with a full head of hair. And then. And I. And when I reread the list, I looked at it and everything I had on it was like, met. Except for the one shallow thing that I had written, which was, please give me a full head. Cause Now I'm with Mr. Clean. Right?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

And now, girl, we're all Chelsea.

[Monet X Change]

We're all Mr. Clean.

[Chelsea Handler]

Yeah. And so, like, there is something to be said for that. Yeah. Bob, this is actually the best advice I've heard you get of since this podcast started. I think you're right on the money because, like, I wouldn't like, introduce myself. Like, hey, I'm Chelsea. I'm a huge bitch. Like, it's nice to meet you. You know what I mean? So you don't like saying you're a really nice guy is suspect? Now that you mention it, I was like, that's true. Cause it's weird, but I don't think so.

[Monet X Change]

I met people who are really nice guys. I've met nice guys.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

No, do they say, I'm a really nice guy?

[Chelsea Handler]

You don't introduce yourself. It's like people who say, oh, I'm a really good friend. It's like, no, you're not. You don't ever have to advertise that.

[Monet X Change]

Yeah, that is true.

[Chelsea Handler]

Like, if you're a good friend, we'll find out about it. You don't have to, you know, you don't represent yourself. That way. So I take it back, what I said. And now I think that you need to make a new list and you need to be less shallow and focus on more important things than money and appearance.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

But did you ever think you date a comedian? Did you ever think you'd be dating another?

[Chelsea Handler]

No. Never, ever. I thought they were all so disgusting.

[Monet X Change]

I mean.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Cause I mean, honestly, you're not. When you go to comedy clubs, comedians are like, like sad and like dark. They're just in the bar and they're like. Imagine this vision of someone who's like, at the bar, like, complaining about every aspect of their life. They're drinking, they just look lonely. The only time they're ever alive is on stage. And the moment they get off stage,

[Chelsea Handler]

they're just like, yeah, totally. Yeah, exactly.

[Monet X Change]

But also, most of the things you hear about male comedians are scary. Like Louis CK and shit. You're like, you know, shit is wild out there for.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

That's every. That's. I think that's every. I mean, directors, cops, teachers.

[Monet X Change]

Have you seen the fucking. Have you seen TI Getting booed at the King's Theater? Was he doing comedy? Yeah, he's trying to do T.I.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

the rapper.

[Monet X Change]

He's trying to do Stand up Now

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Tip Come Alive from the Kids.

[Chelsea Handler]

And he got booed. And he got booed.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Yeah, yeah.

[Monet X Change]

Because he got booked at the King's Theater and all these people came to the theater expecting TI In Brooklyn.

[Chelsea Handler]

They were expecting, like music Cho performed there. That's an awesome theater. That place is beautiful. Yeah. Oh, so they were.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Yeah. My rival, Trixie Mattel just performed a sold out show there.

[Chelsea Handler]

Oh, shit.

[Shannon Maldonado]

So proud of her.

[Asha]

Oh, shit.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

So happy.

[Chelsea Handler]

Here we go with the jealousy.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

No trains, no Germany, no Grammys, no W's and no Trixies, no Trix. No King's Theater.

[Monet X Change]

Yeah, but he tried to. He was doing stand up. And they were like, this is not what we signed up for. And they're like, we want music. Boo.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Have you ever been booed off stage or booed in general?

[Chelsea Handler]

I'm sure. But I have never been booed off stage. I'm sure I've been booed at some point. Oh, yeah, I'm sure. I can't remember, but there's Republicans everywhere.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Yeah, I got booed once. I'm afraid to say why I got booed. I think. I think I deserved it. I'm gonna say out loud right now, I do not stand by what I said to get booed. I deserved to get booed. And they were right. I'm Just gonna throw that out there right now. Okay. I was at Barracuda and I had exclaimed, barracuda.

[Monet X Change]

Barracuda bar is a bar in Chelsea. Oh, I. Right.

[Chelsea Handler]

Oh, it's inside me.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Yeah, yeah, I see you right now, right around the liver. So it's not in good shape, we gotta be honest.

[Chelsea Handler]

What are you talking about? I just took my liver cleanse. I don't know what your problem is. Shut the fuck up, Bob.

[Monet X Change]

Fucking Bob.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

So I had exclaimed that I was not a big fan of Janet Jackson.

[Chelsea Handler]

Oh, yeah. That people don't like that.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

The whole room, I mean, they turned on me and I could not.

[Monet X Change]

Is it during your Monday night show?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Yes. Really? And it took a very long time to get them back.

[Shannon Maldonado]

Back.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Because I've come out of public, I've come out against a few people who's like, music. I don't like performing. I don't love performing Kylie Minogue. I just don't love doing her music. And then, then someone said Janet Jackson. And I was like, ugh.

[Monet X Change]

And I said.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I said something snarky about Janet Jackson and they were all like, boo, Janet Jackson. Boo, boo. You suck. And I was like, okay, honestly, fair. And I look back and she's brilliant. Janet Jackson is a great body of work.

[Monet X Change]

She does, she does, she does.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Yeah.

[Monet X Change]

Jacob. Shall we do the next one?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I think probably have time for two more, Bab. We have time for two. Thank you so much for your time today, Chelsea.

[Chelsea Handler]

Oh, you guys, I would. There's no place I'd rather be.

[Marlena]

Hi, Bob Monet and Chelsea. My name is Marlena.

[Listener]

She.

[Marlena]

Her pronouns. I am a trans woman in Berlin, Germany, and I have a question for y'.

[Monet X Change]

All.

[Marlena]

So I've been transitioning for a few months now, and as someone who didn't. I didn't really understand how much I identified with femininity until recently. I've been finding it very interesting navigating what that means to me. And of course, we live in a society that expects us to understand femininity in so many different ways. And it's definitely easy to internalize things, but I don't really know how to disentangle, like, how I feel and how I was told to feel about it. And so I'm really curious as to Bob Monet's perspectives as non binary people and also Chelsea's as a woman. So do you all have any advice on how to explore femininity and figure out what it means for yourself? Yeah, for any advice, I'd be really grateful. I think you're all Amazing. Thank you so much.

[Chelsea Handler]

Great question.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

We'll let the most feminine person go first.

[Chelsea Handler]

Okay, Monet, your turn.

[Monet X Change]

You know, a big way that I came to discover my femininity, and what that was to me was through drag. You know, before then, you know, growing up, I was always a very, very faggy, very gay kid. I was very, very gay. I had a big ass all my life. I walked to the switch. Everyone knew I was gay all the time. And, you know, and I, all throughout my. Through middle school and high school, I was suppressing that. And then when high school happened, I discovered drag. RuPaul Dragris was on TV, and also Peppermint used to come to my college to do drag shows. And I was like, oh, my God, look at this drag queen. Like, this is, this is really fierce. And then I started to dive into it. I started buying wigs, I started playing with makeup. And I realized that, like, this, this femininity that I was hiding so for so much of my life was something that gave me so much power as a fucking adult. It made me, it made me walk down the street prouder. And I, you know, and I didn't. I had my perceptions of what I thought I needed to do because, you know, growing up in New York, I saw, I used to go to balls and kiki functions and I would see trans women. I thought that that's what I had to. I was like, well, if I start doing makeup and start wearing wigs and start doing drag, well, I have to become trans. And that's not what that, that's not what that means. What, that's not what femininity meant for me. It meant giving myself the freedom and the liberty to wear dresses, to wear makeup, and not having to fit what my femininity. Not that my family did not have to be. I didn't have to become a trans woman. I, I, I, I discovered what it was for me and what made me feel good, what made me, you feel comfortable. And that was sometimes maybe having sex with makeup on or wearing a wig, whatever that was, and just explore my feminine and how it felt organic. Have, have I had an. I had an organic experience with my feminine and not having to fit it into something I saw on TV or a friend or another entertainer or something like that. How about you, Chelsea?

[Chelsea Handler]

I think. Well, it's, I mean, it's a tricky question for me because it's like I am, you know, I've never wrestled with my, like, you know, who I has the sex. I identify with. Like, I've always Just been me. And to me, that's what a girl is. I feel like I'm a little slightly more masculine. But I like what she said about disentangling what you've been, what you've learned to what your experience is, because your experience is really all that matters versus what you've. Like the constructs that we've been taught about femininity and masculinity and that there's an entire spectrum of the way that people identify, you know, like, the more we learn, the more you realize, oh, I'm not really this one thing at all. So I would say to her that your experience is paramount to anything you've learned. And you can almost toss everything you've learned about femininity out the window, because your experience is really the only thing that's relevant to you in this time that you're going through, especially, like, this period of transition. So, yeah, I think that's like, get down with yourself, you know, and you define what your sexuality means and what feminism means to you.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Yeah, that's a good point. You know, I, I have a very similar experience to Monet. I, I, I was one of the folks who grew up, and I just kept getting called girly or I was called gay. It's really annoying for a young person to be called gay before they even know what it is or to when you're like a little kid and someone goes, stop acting like a girl. And I'm like, wait, what does that mean? Like, what does that mean? I'm. I. And I remember thinking myself like, I don't think I'm acting like a girl. I really feel like I'm joking, just doing my own thing. But I just happen to have always had some very feminine qualities and feminine traits about the way I talk, the way I walk, the way I hold my hands, the way I talk to people. Even if it comes to expressing femininity at a young age by wearing my mom's clothes or putting on a T shirt over my head and acting like it's a wig and whipping it around. Or my favorite, I prefer the Disney princesses over the Lion King or whatever. As a small child loving Ariel, my favorite color used to be pink, which is so weird. That is so not me today. But I've learned someone said something to me, a drag performer whose name is Dakota, but the drag name is Azra Dakota. They taught me that femininity does not belong to women and masculinity does not belong to men. Everyone has both femininity and masculinity. We literally all have it. Some of us have more of one than the other. Some of us have equal parts. Some people you look at and you genuinely can't tell what their gender identity is based on their gender expression. It's just so ambiguous. Some people are straight up cisgender straight women who, who are as straight as it is long but just are super butch. So, you know, a lot of people think that Whoopi Goldberg is a lesbian.

[Monet X Change]

I know, because of the way she,

[Bob the Drag Queen]

she just has like a, A butcher,

[Monet X Change]

you know, Whoopi on the View. She doesn't really.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

But. But I think there's something really fierce about people who, people like Grace Jones, people like Prince, people like, you know, a lot of drag performers. People who. People, the comedian Eddie Izard, people who are taking the tarot. People who are like really towing the line with what gender expression and what femininity is. Because the answer is femininity is literally just whatever it means to you.

[Listener]

You.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

That's genuinely the answer. It is whatever it means to you. You can't say that. The way that Lisa Leslie, the basketball player is feminine is. It's not the same as, like, you know, I'm not the same, but like, it's less valuable than the way Kim Kardashian is feminine. It really is about. And I know that's an open ended, like, woo, woo. We're all la la la answer, but it really is the truth. It's just, it's just whatever it means to you. Femininity and masculinity do not belong to any categories, even though they are mostly in certain categories of people.

[Monet X Change]

And also, if you have, if you find yourself having a feminine experience and you decide, you know what, I want to try something like, like, don't, don't let your, your own mental gymnastics try trick you into falling in line with some type of femininity that really is not true to you. Like, let it be organic. Let it be what it. Let it be. What the fuck is going to be?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Can I tell you something that happened to me this weekend? I want both of you to tell me how you would react to this.

[Monet X Change]

You should have took mushrooms.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I was on stage at the West Palm Beach Improv and I was, I was telling one of my jokes and I said, sis, straight. And then this guy in the audience yelled out, like, you know, you hear someone heckling and part of you is like, I can just ignore it if it's one thing, because I don't want to stop the flow of my joke, because if you're in the middle of a joke, you don't want to stop the joke so that someone to give a moment to someone. So I'm like, I don't want to give the person a moment. But they kept asking, what does sis mean? What does sis? What does that mean? And it was so weird. I was like, you're at a Bob the Drag Queen show. Like, everyone here is queer. And I was like, does literally. Does no one at your table know what you. You think the most appropriate thing to do right now is to ask the person holding the microphone. Everyone, you have a. You have a. They're probably also a little drunk. They probably had the. The laughing juice or whatever. You know, the comic clubs always give really horrible names to their drinks. This one's called Laughing Gas or something.

[Chelsea Handler]

So do sober people, by the way. He's like. He's having one of those laughing drinks. What do you mean, a cocktail?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

They give them weird names. One club I was at, they changed the menu based on the comedian who's there, right? So, like, if Chelsea's there, they'll call, like, get a handler on yourself. Or they'll be like, late night special or whatever. Bitch. One of the ones I went to, the drink was called Gender Fluid.

[Monet X Change]

Oh, my God, that's brilliant. I fucking love that.

[Chelsea Handler]

That's funny.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Can I get the gender fluid? I was like, you know what? Honestly, touche. I love that. I love that we have time for Una Mas. This has been so much fun. Thank you for. We don't often have guests on our podcast.

[Monet X Change]

Oh, really, Chelsea? Every time we have a guest, it is rambunctious. Bob and I normally end up fisticuffs, the blood, just fighting, and the guest always like, so this has been great. You have.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

You're very assertive.

[Chelsea Handler]

I feel like I brought you guys closer together. If you guys could get any closer. Oh, look how sweet that is. Let me take a picture. Do that again, you guys. Oh, look at this. Love is in the air.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Here we go.

[Narrator/Voiceover]

Hi, Bob Monet and Chelsea. I am going to do this anonymously because I think it could ruin my chances, but I just need some advice. I have been doing drag for six years, and I have been auditioning for Drag Race for six years, and I have obviously not gone on. And I just want some advice on what you think I can do from an audition standpoint or what you think I can show that would help better my chances. I think every year I have gotten better and better and better, and I'm at the top of my game in my city, and I really don't know where else to go from here. I kind of want to give up, and I'm not too sure if I should keep doing this, but it is my dream, and I really, really, really want to get on. So if you have any advice, I would greatly appreciate it, and I love all three of you. Thank you.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

In the Witness Protection Program is going on.

[Monet X Change]

Chelsea, just to give you a little just. So drag is the audition every year, and the audition process is very rigorous. I auditioned five times before I got on. You auditioned about four times. Four times.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

And then.

[Monet X Change]

So the audition process is crazy. You have to answer, like, 40 questions in and out of drag. You have to do an acting challenge. You have to sew something. You have to, like, model 20 of your looks. It is a very rigorous, rigorous, rigorous, hard process. So when you do it and each time your tape ends up being, like, about 30 minutes long, which is, like, about two hours of footage, you're cutting down and truncating to that. So it is really hard just so you. Yeah, so that's why this person is saying they do it every. And it's hard.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I want to say this. This is just my humble opinion. If your end game in drag is to get on RuPaul's Drag Race, I think that you might be in it for the wrong reasons. Like, Drag Race is not a means to an end. Drag Race is not like Drag Race should not, in my opinion. This is just my opinion. Opinion should not be the pinnacle for your success. It should not be like, if you're like, if I don't get on Drag Race, then Mike, then what was I doing this all for? You know what I mean? Also, something I learned. I used to work in children's theater, where I would cast children in shows. It was called the Missoula Children's Theater. We'd travel around the world and put kids in these shows. And what I realized was, oftentimes, some kids would not get cast in the show. They'd get very upset. They'd be very, very hurt. We had this line. We'd say, if you did not get cast in the show, it does not mean that you are not good enough. It just means that there was not a part that was just right for you. And that is not bullshit. I firmly believe that. I truly believe that. Actually, I don't think that's bullshit. Just because you weren't on RuPaul's Drag Race does not mean you're not good. It does not mean you're not as good as a girl who's been on the show. It just means that you didn't fit perfectly in this specific cast. Jacob, can I get that back, please? It just means you didn't fit in this cast. That's all it means. It doesn't mean you weren't good. It just means you weren't right at this period of time.

[Chelsea Handler]

I think that's good advice for everybody. You know, when you're not. When you don't get in or you're rejected from something, like, everyone has a tendency to take everything so personally. I think that's really good to remember, because sometimes it really doesn't have anything to do with you, even though it always feels like it does.

[Monet X Change]

Yeah. And I mean, girls ask us every year. It's like, oh, what's the secrets getting on the shelf? You know, I auditioned five times and I ended up becoming close, really close to one of the executive producers on the show, the co execs, Jacqueline. And she was telling me, I was like, tell me, why did I get on all those times? She was like, it's because. Personality. And I realized on all those tapes before I got on, I was trying to do this drag thing. I was trying to put on this drag character. I thought that that's what the show wanted. I wanted to show them, oh, I can be this type of character in the show. And honestly, she was like, what you did on the last time was that we saw who you were. You were just yourself. You weren't trying to put on. You weren't trying to put on for the camera. You were being your fucking self. And you. That's what. Why? Because the show wants you on the show. They don't want. Because if you pretend to be something that will only last for so long, and then the real you is going to show and you're going to look crazy on TV and you're going to be the fucking villain, whatever it is, just be your natural self. And that's how you get on the show, in my opinion.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Yeah. And also, you don't have to be on the show. You can be a drag queen and not be on the show. I just want to throw that out there. It's okay to want to be on Drag Race, but if it's the. If it's your end goal, I think that you might want to restructure your definition of success and what that means for you personally. I want to thank you. Do you. Do you have any last advice you want to give? I mean, I think it's applicable to other things outside of just Drag Race.

[Chelsea Handler]

Yeah, No, I think you guys said it. Well, I don't think I can say it any better. I think that's good advice.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Yeah, we said it. No kidding. I want you all, please go get tickets to go see Vaccinated and Horny on tour right now. Chelsea, where can we get tickets if we want to go? I know, by the way. And Chelsea will not fly around the world to avoid you like she did Monet.

[Chelsea Handler]

No, Chelsea, if you are not at

[Monet X Change]

the Wilton on the fifth, I am going to. Literally, I am going to.

[Chelsea Handler]

I hope you're coming. We're going to hook you up. Paul from PR or Alec is going to hook you up with tickets May 5, but I'm definitely coming to a city near you so you can get. I'm going all over the place. I'm going to Alabama and Louisville, Kentucky, you guys. Okay. So you get tickets@chelsea handler.com.

[Monet X Change]

perfect.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Awesome.

[Monet X Change]

Chelsea, this has been so great having

[Bob the Drag Queen]

you here on the pod.

[Chelsea Handler]

This is so much fun, you guys. We'll have to hang out in person once sometime soon. Well, at the wheelchair.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Yeah.

[Monet X Change]

And you and I can give Bob. We'll just slip a few mushrooms in Bob's cocktail.

[Shannon Maldonado]

He'll never.

[Chelsea Handler]

Yeah, he'll never know what hit him.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I'll email you or DM you my. My phone number.

[Chelsea Handler]

Okay. Okay, guys.

[Monet X Change]

I love you guys.

[Chelsea Handler]

I love you girls.

[Monet X Change]

Love you so much.

[Shannon Maldonado]

By.

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