The One About All The Things Bob Hates

Summary

Sibling Rivalry Podcast

Episode: The One About All The Things Bob Hates
Date: December 1, 2021
Hosts: Bob The Drag Queen & Monét X Change

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Episode Overview

In this hilarious and candid episode, Bob the Drag Queen and Monét X Change dig into "all the things Bob hates," with playful, chaotic energy and irresistible chemistry. The conversation spans relationship pet peeves, social media gripes, tech drama, housing quirks in partnerships, and debates on everything from meal-prepping to the real meaning of "shut the f*** up." The Queens serve both laughs and realness, revealing their unique takes on happiness, boundaries, and the oddities of modern life.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Personal Boundaries and Consent (00:43–04:36)

• Foot massages and consent: Monét rebuffs Bob’s offer to massage her feet, highlighting the importance of consent. Bob reminisces about people at the gym asking for hugs when sweaty and the discomfort of unwanted contact after performances.
  • Quote: "[Before even asking me, no consent, you reach for my ankle… Let me massage your feet. I said, no.]" – Monét (00:44)
• Bob's late-life eczema: Bob shares that she developed eczema on her feet, debunking Monét’s initial fears of fungus.
• Aggressive honesty versus tact: Monét teases Bob for being blunt, sparking a debate about truth-telling styles.

2. Technology, Devices, and Loyalty (06:05–10:14)

• Work phone drama: Bob confesses to finally buying an iPhone, but only as a work phone, poking fun at iPhone loyalty and owning a "device farm" of varied tech (iPad, Galaxy, Surface, Google Pixel).
  • Quote: "People who are really brand loyal to iPhones are weird about it..." – Bob (07:49)
• Device overload: The two joke about carrying multiple gadgets, with Monét loving simplicity and Bob enjoying tech abundance.

3. Love, Relationships, and Annoying Couples (10:22–20:58)

• Couple dynamics online and IRL: The Queens roast internet couples, especially TikTok and YouTube pairings, poking fun at how people curate their social media presence around partners, then erase traces after breakups.
• Happiness in relationships—the "annoyingly happy" couple trope:
  • Quote: "I figured out what's annoying about people in love is that they're always laughing at stuff that's not funny." – Bob (10:53)
• Handling breakups on social media: Bob explains why she wouldn't erase Jacob from her social history, even after a breakup, and shares a story about vindictive exes using copyright strikes.

4. Relationship Pet Peeves: Joint Identity and Co-dependency (21:07–24:36)

• The "We" Couples: Monét gets irked by couples who refer to everything as "we" instead of "I," and discuss experiences with friends who can’t be seen apart.
  • Quote: "When couples 'we' each other... I'm like, y'all are two different people." – Monét (21:09)
• Going everywhere together: Lighthearted accusations about codependency, with Bob defending shared work/lifestyle arrangements.
• Rituals and routines: Discussion of couples who insist on going to sleep at the same time.

5. Living Together: Separate Spaces and Fads (24:36–28:19)

• Sleeping arrangements: Bob discusses the evolution of sleeping habits with Jacob (couch vs. bed, synchronized bedtimes).
• Separate homes/rooms for couples: The hosts recall examples, including TV production colleagues whose marriages thrived in separate apartments.

6. Pop Culture Tangents: Sex and the City (28:10–29:46)

• Sex and the City doesn't age well: Critique of the show’s problematic elements; Monét calls out Carrie Bradshaw’s toxic relationship behaviors.

7. Annoyances List – “Unjustifiably Angry” (29:46–32:01)

Bob reveals a list of seemingly irrational things that anger him:

• Photos of white people laughing when no Black people are around

• People walking or driving too slowly (and too fast)

• People who declare "I don't eat fast food" in a judgmental way ("Good for you, bitch")

• Quote: "People who just sit around smiling? You look dumb as hell." – Bob (15:23)

8. Watching Shows With Partners: Spoilers & Attention Wars (32:01–38:47)

• Show loyalty: The hosts rant about partners who skip ahead in shared TV shows and those who love to read spoilers.
• Spoilers debate: Bob loves knowing what's coming in horror films but hates spoilers elsewhere. The dynamic with Jacob—who seeks spoilers and loves to rewatch—is dissected.
• Sharing media: Bob’s major pet peeve is showing others something he loves, and they don’t pay attention—or worse, fall asleep.
  • Quote: "If I show you something and you don't fucking pay attention to it, that shit pisses me off!" – Bob (36:14)
• "Pause the movie" rule: If anyone talks, Bob pauses. Monét jokes that Bob's friends are at her mercy with the remote.

9. Random Rants and Tangents (40:28–63:15)

• Pride in work: Bob gleefully shares about a huge billboard for "We're Here" in Los Angeles.
• Car culture and LA living: Monét explains why she didn’t get a Tesla (didn’t want to wait months), Bob fantasizes about solar-powered Teslas.
• Solar power & hood science: An extended comic debate about whether solar power uses UV rays (Bob: "UV rays are among the rays up in the solar power hood."– 48:32).
• Meal prepping resentment: Bob marvels at people who meal prep for weeks at a time ("There are folks who'd be really out here in these streets meal prepping..."– 59:43).
• Peanut butter & orange juice beef: Bob rants about people shaming him for eating "unhealthy" foods like OJ and peanut butter.

10. Signature Phrases and Satisfying Words (58:16–59:02)

• The duo discuss favorite phrases to say emphatically:
  • “Shut the fuck up”
  • “Absolutely not”
  • “Under no circumstances”
  • Quote: "'Shut the fuck up' is probably my favorite collection of words." – Bob (58:05)

11. Wrapping Up: Mortality and New Year’s Plans (53:00–54:52)

• Bob reveals her long-term plan to record a yearly video to be released posthumously, pondering how to sequence them for maximum impact.

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Memorable Quotes & Moments

• On relationship joy: “I hope you break up, too.” – Bob, to happy couples (11:16)
• On dietary declarations: “I don't eat fast food. Okay, bitch. Congratulations. Good for you.” – Bob (31:33)
• On device overload: “I got a Google Pixel. I got a Samsung. I got an iPhone. I got a Microsoft. Who else up in this piece?” – Bob (09:32)
• On movie spoilers: “Jacob wants. He seeks [spoilers] out. Jacob will Google the entire synopsis while we're deciding on the movie.” – Bob (32:59)
• On empathy in art: "If I'm playing you music I have never played for anyone, and I'm asking for opinion, and you start talking in the middle at the bridge… that is rude." – Bob (40:05)
• On meal prep: "There are folks who'd be really out here in these streets meal prepping." – Bob (59:43)
• On solar panels: "UV rays are among the rays up in the solar power hood." – Monét (mocking Bob, 48:32)

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Timestamps for Important Segments

• 00:43–04:36 – Consent, gym hugs, feet, and rough hands
• 06:05–10:14 – Tech drama: phones, tablets, and device overload
• 10:22–13:59 – Happy couples, fake laughter, and why Bob hates "earned" joy
• 17:01–20:58 – Social media and couple breakups
• 21:07–24:36 – The "we" in relationships and codependency
• 28:10–29:46 – Sex and the City doesn’t age well
• 29:46–32:01 – Bob’s "unjustifiable anger" list
• 32:01–38:47 – Spoilers, show-watching etiquette, and fight over film attention
• 40:28–41:57 – "We're Here" billboard pride
• 43:15–46:03 – On Tesla culture and solar-powered cars
• 53:00–54:52 – Posthumous New Year video project
• 58:16–59:02 – Favorite phrases: "Shut the fuck up," "absolutely not," "under no circumstances"
• 59:43–61:17 – Meal prepping, peanut butter, and orange juice betrayals

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Notable Segment – "Hood Science" Exchange (48:32)

Monét: “UV rays are among the rays up in the solar power hood.”
Bob: “That's what I said. UV rays are up in solar power.”
Monét: “You made it so vague... anything.”

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Conclusion

This episode is a classic display of Sibling Rivalry’s signature comedic chaos and relatable gripes. From dissecting the quirks of romantic relationships (earned happiness, joint social media, couple rituals), to nerdy tangents about phones and solar panels, to Bob’s signature lists of “things that make me unjustifiably angry,” there’s a rant or a truth-bomb for every listener. The playful, loving shade and authentic sharing make it a deeply entertaining listen—as always, no one is safe from the Queens’ incisive humor (least of all each other).

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End of Summary

Transcript

[A]

My name is bob the drag queen,

[B]

and I'm monet x change.

[A]

And this is sibling rivalry.

[B]

On today's episode, Bob launches his campaign against laughter.

[A]

We talk about happiness in relationships.

[B]

And we find out what made Bob say this.

[A]

There are folks who be really out here in these streets meal prepping. And we find out what made Monet say this.

[B]

In solar power, UV rays are among the rays up in the solar power.

[A]

Why are you being so nasty to me today?

[B]

I'm not being so nasty, Bob. You are being very forceful, Bob. I'm sitting here and, Bob, before even asking me no consent, you reach. You reach for my ankle, and you grab my ankle. You're like, let me massage your feet. I said, no. I haven't had a pedicure in two weeks, Nolan. Let me massage your feet. And then I was like, no. And I said, no. You're like, those people at the gym. Do you experience this when you go to the gym back when you were.

[A]

I go to the gym still.

[B]

And I'm saying before you.

[A]

So roll it back before your little.

[B]

Your little private gym with Rich, wherever that is. And people see you sweating and they recognize you at the gym. Oh, my. Can I have a hug? You're like, no. And they're like, no, I don't care, bitch. Not about you. Oh, yeah, I don't want to hug you because I feel gross in hugging you. It's not about you.

[A]

I hate that. Or even after a show. After a.

[B]

You sweaty.

[A]

I'm really sweaty. I don't care, bitch. I didn't say I don't. I said me.

[B]

Yeah, I don't want that. So, no, I don't want you to touch my hands or my feet. You know, what can I say? You had a really recent development.

[A]

What are you developing?

[B]

Not the Nevada.

[A]

What do you develop?

[B]

Ibs. Irritable bowel syndrome. Wait, what?

[A]

You can develop ibs? I developed eczema late in life.

[B]

I heard about your feet.

[A]

Yeah. All of a sudden, one day, I was like. I went to the doctor. He was like, bitch, this is eczema.

[B]

I had eczema as a kid, and it went away.

[A]

I was like, it must be fungus. He. You grew this out of yourself, bitch. Nothing attached to you. This came out of your body. You have eczema.

[B]

Do you think if we, like, take the scales off your feet and we can smoke them and get high like mushroom.

[A]

I put cream on them. They're gone now. So I'm wearing socks like I always do.

[B]

So Annie and I were hanging out with Your teeth. I haven't bobbed the drag queen lip color. I have not done like a peach like this in so long. I think it looks nice on dark. Dark skin on mine.

[A]

I think you look really beautiful today.

[B]

I don't like this color on me. I haven't done it in a long time.

[A]

I cannot believe you don't let me hold your hand. This is crazy. You are being so wild today.

[B]

Consent, Bob, to quote you from five years ago, consent is sexy.

[A]

I just want to touch your hands. We touch hands all the time.

[B]

Yeah, but.

[A]

And you've withdrawn consent. There it is. Well, we're not touching. You're doing a thing.

[B]

Ed and I were chilling.

[A]

Don't you dare.

[B]

We were chilling and then I was talking about. I was talking about hands, whatever. And then he said. And then I said, I was like, you have really soft hands besides, like your calluses and stuff.

[A]

He's like, drag him besides this rough ass spot.

[B]

And he's like, yeah. He's like, yeah, they're definitely not like yours. And I was like, what do you mean like mine? And I was like, do I have like rough hands? He was like, well, they're not soft.

[A]

And I was like, he's like, nigga, my dick is chafed. And he didn't say the N word, but he was like, my dick is rough. I will say this.

[B]

Okay, so I have. Okay, so my whole hand is rough. This is a rough hand, like all over, but just. Or there's a tall.

[A]

It is particularly rough in this area. But your hand is rough.

[C]

Really?

[A]

You don't feel the difference between this skin and this? You don't feel a difference.

[B]

But I feel like everyone's hands feel, I guess. No, no. I gave my hand. So I was like, so now I was like, so I have big, nasty. So you know me. I was like, so you're saying I have big, nasty, rough, slave hands. He was like, I feel really uncomfortable when you say the words.

[A]

To be fair, I've been telling you

[B]

this for years, but no other partner or anyone else I've been with has ever said that to me.

[A]

Well, I will say this. I do say things very aggressively in a way that people. You say people don't normally talk, so I feel like I'm the one speaking truth. But also they're not like you have just rough hands. You know who has rough hands? My trainer has rough ass hands. Way rougher than yours.

[B]

Okay. But the whole.

[A]

And he's so pretty and he like looks really soft. And you touch his hands and it

[B]

Is like, that's what Andy said. He's. He said, well, in contrast to the rest of your body, he's like, on your. Rest of your body, there's no hair and everything is really soft. And then you're.

[A]

Okay, to be fair, the hair has been surgically removed.

[B]

And let's just make that clear.

[A]

So let's not act like you were just born smooth. Honey, honey. And it's documented. Go back to Monet's YouTube page.

[B]

Yeah, I got laser hair where there's no shade.

[A]

So don't act like you're just a little seal.

[B]

I was working out at the gym yesterday and I was really feeling myself because I've been really, like, going hard with dieting and eating right in and,

[A]

you know, like the opposite for, like, girl, really? Ever since I went to Columbus, girl. I mean, I don't give a. Today's the day. I'm going to really turn it around and only drink water. And then I get to the Delta lounge. I'd be like, fuck that.

[B]

Well, you know, the Delta lounges are finally back on because, okay, I have a fucking qualm with Delta. First of all, in the whole, like, during the pandemic when, like, you know, people started flying again, and especially in early 2021, things are getting back to normal. Most airlines were, like, serving food and stuff. Delta was like, oh, no, we can't. Meanwhile, they have every. They were filling every seat. They were. Everything was packed, jam packed. But y' all can't serve food. But they were charging people full prices for first class. So you're charging $1,000 for a first class ticket from. From. From LA.

[A]

I was flying first class and getting the food, but. But it wasn't, like, the nicest.

[B]

No, it was in, like, a box and you get cracker, a piece of salami and a bottle of water. But meanwhile, other flights were still. They were filling the planes, but they were back to service as normal. Delta is so nasty and shady. I'm about to switch. Are we leaving Delta?

[A]

No, but I'm about to. I'm about to. Like. You're about to be gagged.

[B]

What?

[A]

You're about to be gagged. Django doesn't know about this.

[B]

What? Bitch, Tell us.

[A]

Today I. I went and got a new phone. Oh, my God. Oh, my God.

[B]

What the fuck?

[A]

She has an iPhone, does she? That's what I'm. I've never said she has an.

[B]

Look at Jacob. Jacob is stuck on stupid. Jacob was like, oh, my God.

[A]

Well, so it's a long story short. I actually, this is. I got a work phone and I

[B]

had to get a motor phone. But it's not your primary phone.

[A]

No, this is. So this is still my phone, my main phone. And then I got a. Like a work phone.

[B]

What's your work phone for?

[A]

So I got it today specifically because I needed it for this one. For this one. I did a. A chat with Amanda Seals and the Facebook Live. The Facebook rooms are in the beta version, the beta test version, what they call it.

[B]

And it's only for.

[A]

And it's. And normally there's a lot of stuff that I have that is specific iPhone, but normally you can use it on an iPad, not this one thing. And I was. I would need it. And I was. And I used Ezra's phone last time, actually used Mitch's phone last time. But I was like, you know what? I'm just gonna go ahead and give this. And I have a work phone. So that now I have. So I just thought to myself, Monet's really gonna get a. So I still use this phone as my main phone.

[B]

Slowly but surely. Then she goes, oh, yeah, I still use my phone, but I just do my text messages and I do my tiktoking on. I still use my phone, but I just use my iPhone for my text messages, my phone calls, my emails and my TikTok, my Instagram. But it's easy to use my regular phone. It's slowly but surely.

[A]

Well, I always tell folks I am not one of those folks. I feel like people who are really brand loyal to iPhones are weird about it and I feel like I'm just like, I just use this phone because I really like it. If ever there's a day where like the new iPhone is like the most slammin jamming, I'm like.

[B]

But it has been, you know, I have a work phone, but I only. I use it. I seldom use it because it's just. I just also just carrying more devices. I get so irritated by having to get. And I do it do any time I go on. So the gigs and stuff, they contact me on that phone. But I just. I just like having so many things. We already have computers, iPads. I have my computer, my iPad, my phone, then my work here, iPad where you go. I do it's most gigs. I do.

[A]

Yeah, gigs, yeah, of course.

[B]

Yeah. But. And then if I know I'm going to get on a trip where we're going to podcast and stuff, I normally I can podcast on there because you can use Riverside on the iPhone. You can't Use it on your. On your. On a. On iOS devices. You can't use it on a Galaxy.

[A]

Yeah, and I also have this thing on the ground, which is. It's not an iPad. It is a. This is actually a. Can you grab it? You can unplug it. This is actually really an amazing. It is a gift that Peppermint got me for Halloween as a Halloween gift. And Microsoft sent this to me. It is a Microsoft Surface.

[B]

Bitch, Microsoft been paying for nothing.

[A]

Neither is iPhone. I mean, you've been advertising for them for how long?

[B]

And you and Galaxy been working together for a long time, too.

[A]

But anyway, this thing is.

[B]

You sway you. Todrick Hall. Flip phone, flip case.

[A]

Anyway, this thing is really great. It's like, really nice.

[B]

And I was Microsoft. I'm not interested.

[A]

This. It is. This thing is really great. This is a. I'm like. This device is like.

[B]

I'm sure it is really great. You gonna add an imac over here next? What you gonna add over there next?

[A]

Then my Google Pixel. I have every. I got a Google Pixel. I got a Samsung. I got a iPhone. I got a Microsoft. Who else up in this piece? I got Asani.

[B]

I love condensing. I can't with so many devices. Don't you feel overwhelmed with so many devices?

[A]

No. I mean, to be honest, I really only use in real life. I only use my iPad, my galaxy, and my MacBook. Those are like the device I use for everything in it. And my Switch. Yeah, for video games. What's the Switch? It's a video game, but I don't use it every day. But the ones that I use pretty much every day are. I don't switch every day. I have not switched in a couple of days. I haven't.

[B]

Okay, no one is. Bitch, you're fighting with yourself.

[A]

Why y' all looking at each other all funny? Why y' all making eyes, y'? All?

[B]

I don't know how you started fighting with yourself.

[A]

Like, I haven't.

[B]

We didn't say nothing. Okay.

[A]

Y' all make it fake, y' all niggas. Fuck it. Why y' all making face to each other then? Also someone in the comments said something on Monat's thing. Cause Monat decided to pick a fight with me on TikTok.

[B]

How am I picking a fight with you? So now I can't express my feelings as picking a fight with you.

[A]

I said what I said.

[B]

Well. Cause while you were being ridiculous, then

[A]

one of the folks like, by the way, I love that a lot of the comments I'm not gonna say all of them, but a lot of comments are like, no, Bob's right.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

And everyone kept talking about kimchi. What did kimchi post?

[B]

She did one adding to mine. She's like, no. She's like, I hate everyone. They should die like that.

[A]

Well, let's see.

[B]

Kim's very cute.

[A]

I figured out what's annoying about people in love is that they're always laughing at stuff that's not funny.

[B]

And I can't for the life of me figure out why people are annoyed by people being in love. I don't think there's anything particularly funny about the bowl overflowing. I think it's just an outward expression of the joy and glee that they feel being with that person. And that's okay because life is already full of so much annoying. Irritating to be angry about.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

You can have a happy moment and be giddy with the person that you're in love with. No, they're annoying, and I hope they break up. And if any of you that's watching this, if you're happy in a relationship, I hope you break up, too.

[C]

Draw.

[B]

Annoying someone was her thing.

[A]

It was like, oh, that video popped off. Kim got a lot of.

[B]

Someone posted a thing. It was like, bob.

[A]

Yeah, see, it's Bob, Monet, Kim,

[B]

girl.

[A]

I was like, kim is angry. So in terms of that one thing. And then what annoyed me? Not your response to that, but your response to come when someone said, bob and Jacob are always giddy. And then when they're like, right, we're not. You will never see a video of me and Jacob being like, ooh, baby, okay.

[B]

But that's not what those people are doing, too. Bob. There have been things where essentially, my guy, prime example, when you, Jacob, and I were walking from you and Ezra's placement, we're walking down the block. You was like, monet, let's go on a walk. We went on a walk, and Jacob was just walking, mind on his business. Bob was like, jacob, Jacob, let me touch your butt. Jacob was like, no, come on, baby,

[C]

let me touch your butt.

[B]

That's y' all being cute and giddy.

[A]

I just did that with you and your feet a second. I said, monet, I said, monat, let me get your hands.

[B]

And you love me.

[A]

Blessed Monet, let me take your hand.

[B]

We're talking about a specific thing with you and Jacob. That was you and your partner being

[A]

talking about you and Jacob right now.

[B]

That was you and your partner being cute and giddy. I wasn't like, ugh.

[A]

I wanted Touch his butt. And I wanted to. And I wanted your hand.

[B]

And that was y' all being cute

[A]

and giddy and I wanted to change the subject, bitch. But what was. Remember the thing was, like, the bowl wasn't gonna overflow. It was nowhere near overflowing. What are you laughing about, bitch? And you know I don't like when people laugh when nothing's funny. You know that drives me crazy. You know, the amount of times you walk through the room and laughing, I'm like, what are you laughing at? What the fuck are you laughing at?

[B]

Why are you so mad?

[A]

I don't like when people laugh.

[B]

Someone's going to comment. Like, it was like, bob says, I am a genuinely happy person. Whatever. Is also, Bob, why are you laughing?

[A]

But why are you laughing? That shit is. I also don't like people who laugh at the end of their sentences. I hate that.

[B]

But some people laugh because they're nervous about it.

[A]

I know. And I don't like it. I don't have to like that. I don't give a fuck why you're doing it. I don't like it. It is annoying when people are like, how's everyone today?

[B]

We all know who you talking about. He was just saying, say their names, nigga.

[A]

Who you talking about?

[B]

You know who you talking about that

[A]

be laughing like that.

[B]

You and I talked about it before. Say their names, nigga. Say, who the fuck you talking about, bitch? You know exactly. You trying to act like Monet. What are you talking about?

[A]

Wait, I said about a few people, but I don't know what you talking about. Talking about. Uh huh. Uh huh.

[B]

We'll let y' all decide.

[A]

Everyone's laughing through everything. Stop laughing. It doesn't make me dislike you as a person, but, like, it's just a weird thing. Kennedy does it. Well, Kennedy specifically does it when she's asking someone to do something. So, like, if we are going somewhere and the person who works there, she needs them to, like, get us stuff. She's like, could you grab us a bucket of ice? Because we needed them for drinks. And I'm like, what are you. What the. What are you laughing about?

[B]

Oh, my God.

[A]

Tell this bitch to get us some ice.

[B]

Damn, Bob. So it doesn't make me right.

[A]

It's just a pet peeve of mine.

[B]

Do you think that it's because you're a comedian and you want to work for your laughter?

[A]

I thought someone said that it's because it's unearned laughter. I don't know. I will say this. You know what it is, I think it's once I stop doing that.

[B]

Did you used to do that?

[A]

I used to be. This is hard to believe. I used to be a really big people pleaser, which is people are like, this is not possible. I used to be a really big people pleaser and I would go to extreme lengths to, like, make people happy even if I didn't even know them. Like, I would say, yeah, I cannot fathom that about you saying yes to stuff. I don't want to do, like smiling, all smiling when I'm not happy. Just like people who smile. People who smile for no reason also annoy me.

[B]

I smile a lot.

[A]

People who just. People just sit around smiling. You look dumb as hell. Look at dumb as hell if someone just sitting by themselves.

[B]

Like, no one does that. No one does that. No one just sits there smiling in an empty room. No one does that.

[A]

Well, I don't know. I've never been in any room with anyone.

[B]

You know what I mean?

[A]

I've been in a room by myself before, but it's, you know. We'll talk more about when we get back.

[C]

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[A]

close your eyes.

[C]

Exhale.

[A]

Feel your body relax and let go of whatever you're carrying today.

[B]

Well, I'm letting go of the worry that I wouldn't get my new contacts in time for this class.

[A]

I got them delivered free from 1-800-contacts.

[B]

Oh, my gosh, they're so fast.

[A]

And breathe. Oh, sorry. I almost couldn't breathe when I saw

[B]

the discount they gave me on my first order. Oh, sorry. Namaste. Visit 1-800-contacts.com today to save on your first order.

[A]

1-800-contacts. It's like, okay, it's TikTok couples and YouTube couples.

[B]

Well, first of all, before that bitch I used to follow doesn't work. I just remembered you.

[A]

You're literally talking. You remember from when you had the thought.

[B]

Yeah, there was this TikTok couple I used to follow like hard and now they did disappear and I assume that they broke up. That to me that's so sad. Well, not so sad. Well like when TikTok couples that and they had like a really big account. I mean they had like over a million followers. And now the count. The account is ghost.

[A]

Couldn't be me girl.

[B]

Well, a lot of people make couple accounts on TikTok. Have you noticed this? No, I know but also you're you, you're not. I mean you're not. Not about it. But you, you used to frown upon a little bit. I feel when you would see someone like only post their partner.

[A]

Yeah, there's nothing I'm not about it. It's just that. It seems short sighted to make your entire Instagram or social media about your partner. Cause then when you the amount of time I see my friends and colleagues post about their partner or just streams on the Internet and then once they break up they have to go back and just wipe their social media clean.

[B]

I think that's okay.

[A]

There is nothing wrong with that. Let me just put out a lie. There is nothing wrong with it. I will say this though. It, it's

[B]

like, like, like it's not for me. Like God forbid you and Jacob would have break up. Jacob was taking a lot of your pictures and stuff like that. But like not just break up. Like a mean, nasty, disgusting break. For whatever reason we the worst case scenario, you're not gonna like Jacob is credited on a lot of your things. You know, you can just discover from it.

[A]

Jacob and I work together. The picture that Jacob took. Even if Jacob and I.

[B]

But it will still bring up bad memory. You'll be you. You're still what he said.

[A]

That's right. Well, imagine Jacob trying to break up with me, but I'm on a 15 foot, a 15 story building. Honey, break up with me. I'm gonna be there. Wherever you go, I'll be there.

[B]

See what I mean? So I feel like, especially for young couples that do it, I'm like they're just celebrating the time they had together. And get me wrong, if it's me and I have I'll be mad. I'll have to delete all that shit. I'll be mad. But in the moment it feels good.

[A]

To be fair, I've never broken up with anyone. So I can't really speak about what it's like to break up. But if I feel like I've had friends that I've broken up with and I didn't go back and delete them off my social Media.

[B]

Have you had a nasty breakup with a friend?

[A]

Yeah. The one.

[B]

Really? Yeah.

[A]

But I didn't delete them off my social media. You know what I mean? But I'm also maybe less triggered by visual things like that. And I feel like if me and Jacob broke up, even if it was nasty, I wouldn't want to untag him. I will say this. I was hooking up with a guy once who had just had a nasty breakup, and his boyfriend was a photographer and took all these, like, great photos of him. And then we were like. While we were, like, hanging out, he was like, what the. He was, like, freaking out, and I was like, what's going on?

[B]

He was like, wait, like, while you're inside of him.

[A]

No, we're just hanging out just to. I did not. You sprinkled that little.

[B]

Well, you said while we were hanging out, and I just insisted.

[A]

You got nasty. Yeah, well, knowing you. So while we were hanging out outside of each other's bodies, he started freaking out. He was like, what? And then he. His ex went and reported every picture that he took for him as copyright content.

[C]

Word.

[A]

Like, every picture that he took of his ex, he reported. He was like, my picture, my picture, my picture, bitch. Wiped every, like, nice photo off of his Instagram. And he was like, this is crazy.

[B]

Did you find out why? Why they broke up?

[A]

I did not. I did not. He was pretty upset about this whole thing. He was, like, trying to get all his pictures back, but then Instagram was like, no, they're not your pictures.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

So he had to basically go ask his ex. He had to, like, be nice to his ex to get the pictures back. They ended up being friends again, and it was probably just a cry for attention. He probably wanted his attention. Are there no couples that annoy you? You tell me you're never annoyed by couples.

[B]

There are couples that annoy me.

[A]

Okay. I'm the Grinch. You have Sally. Suhoo.

[B]

Completely.

[A]

Who is it? Sally? Who's who? Who is it? What's her name?

[B]

Cindy Lou who?

[A]

Yeah, I'm the Grinch. You're Cindy Lou.

[B]

Who say you're black without saying you're black.

[A]

Sally.

[B]

Boo hoo. Sally Lou who? I did not say that. I never said our codes are unannoyed. I just said I was reacting to specifically what you were talking about.

[A]

So what Couple stuff annoys you?

[B]

Couple stuff? When people wee each other. Like when couples we. I'm like, y' all are two different people sometimes. Jacob Wiis o. Jacob loves the Wii. Jacob. Jacob is French.

[A]

Nintendo, Wii. I'm Switch. Wii, Wii.

[B]

But they have couples that specifically only speak in Wii. And I'm like, y' all are different people.

[A]

Well, to be fair, Jacob and I do a lot of wee stuff. Like, we did a photo shoot, right?

[B]

And that's fair.

[A]

We built a TV studio.

[B]

If I say Jacob, I don't know which. I've never said, Jacob, let's go to the mall. It's not going to say, oh, we can't. Jacob was like, I'm busy. Or when I came over here to drop all those cookies for you, I was like, hey, Jacob, can I come to the hospital or anything? He was like, oh, I'm at Runyon. He wasn't like, oh, we're busy.

[A]

Cause we weren't at Runyon.

[B]

He was.

[A]

He was at Ryan, but we weren't right on stage.

[B]

So he was like, all right. But he has couples that if like, one is at the mall and one is at Runyon, was like, oh, we're not home. Well, I guess that works. You know what I mean? There's.

[A]

Yeah, I know what you mean. Yeah. How do you feel about, like, oh, like, do you guys want to go to the movie? We don't want to go. Well, you don't even ask yet, right?

[B]

You don't even know what the.

[A]

Exactly. You ask a little too quick.

[B]

That drives me insane. I'm like, so, okay, what about the other person?

[A]

How do you feel? Like, those couples that you never see separately.

[B]

Um, like, I don't think I've experienced a couple that's like, that you never

[A]

met someone and you're like, they're always together, like, every time you see them.

[B]

Um, maybe Alfredo and Joel.

[A]

Well, I see. Well, you the one who fucking whispered on the side. I feel like I see Alfredo by himself a lot.

[B]

Yeah, I see Alfredo by himself a lot. I think Draco. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. We're all kidding. Guys. I kind of come back. I mean, I often see.

[A]

Well, we work together. We all work together. You know what I'm saying?

[B]

I often see you and Jacob together.

[A]

You see me by myself.

[B]

Seldom. The last one. The most reason I can remember to see you by yourself was when you came to get my couch.

[A]

No, Monet, that's not the truth. Ask everyone here. I came to.

[B]

Oh, that one game night. That one game night. Okay. That's the only time.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

When the couch and game night were the two times since I moved to la. I think I've seen Bobby.

[A]

That's not true. I also took you to FedEx that time to mail that dress to that. That black dress. And then you were sensitive. So you and I spent an entire day together that day by ourselves.

[B]

Okay, so. Okay, this is a really good question. Out of. Let's say I see you out of. Let's say, 100%. I have probably seen you without Jacob maybe 10% of the time, because I've been in LA.

[A]

Well, I would say.

[C]

Okay.

[B]

Because again, we all work together.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And you guys live together. And also when you come to my house and play video games, Jacob is. Why would you exclude him?

[A]

Yeah. I think a lot of times, like, when we ever. We're Obviously whenever we. A lot of the time we see each other, we're working, we're podcasting or we're. So we're. We're still playing video games. Yeah.

[B]

And Jacob does all those things. So. Yeah, that would be rude or that would be shady to exclude from that.

[A]

I'm not.

[B]

I was not. You just asking a couple other things. I just see you guys together a

[A]

lot, but I wouldn't say.

[B]

You never said you're codependent on Jacob.

[A]

No, Jacob and I are not codependent, but we do rely on each other for a lot of our work stuff. No, Jacob. You know, actually, one thing that really felt really great about this relationship is you reach a point in relationship where you're like, we can.

[B]

Oh, what we? We bitch.

[A]

Well, it's gonna make. If you let me finish.

[B]

This doesn't make sense.

[A]

Reach in a relationship where you're like, you know what? We can just. We can go to sleep at separate times.

[B]

Oh, yeah.

[A]

Like, we don't have to both lay down. But there was a point where we were like, Jacob and I pretty much religiously went to bed at the same time.

[B]

Like. Like. Like, how long until this show?

[A]

Pretty much, I would say most time we lived in Berkeley. We would go to bed at the same time, but at some point in. And that was like six months.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And then once. We always were dating for like, four of the six months, really. But then in New York City, we would just. Mostly because I was falling asleep on the couch. I would fall asleep on the couch. Jacob would be like, I'm not sleeping on the couch. And then Jacob also got to the point where he was like, I'm done trying to wake you up to get you to not sleep on the couch. God likes people on the couch. It feels freeing.

[B]

I like sleeping on the couch, too. I sleep on the couch often also. I make my bed. Not every Day, but a lot. And I don't. So my thought is, like, I'm here on the couch. I'm really comfortable. Then I have to go to bed. I'm gonna make it in the morning, so I just will sleep on the couch.

[A]

You know, I don't make my bed a lot, but when I do, it is. I would say making the bed is a very loose descriptive. I'm not one of the folks who's, like, pulling the sheet and tucking it and folding the. I mean, literally, just take the blanket, throw it over, let it just fall, and then take the comforter, throw it over, and just let it fall. And then I pull the comforter back, and I put the pillows up. But folks who take the spreadsheet the sheet and take the sheet, take the sheet and, like, tuck it in, bitch. We're not. It's not military corner. We're not. We're not in the.

[B]

Yeah, not tuck it under. But I would, like, tuck it so it looks nice. Not, like, tuck it under the thing. Because don't you hate when you go to hotels and bitch, you cannot get the girl.

[A]

The hotel. The Hulk wouldn't be able to grow. The Hulk couldn't get out of there. I'm like, this is crazy.

[B]

The hotel does not want.

[A]

This is bondage. I mean. I mean, a bit, like, get these mothers.

[B]

I hate that. I hate that. Shit is so annoying to me.

[A]

How do you feel about. Do you want to. Like, how do you. How long do you think? I don't know why I'm asking all these questions about you and Andy, but, like, when do you move in? When do you move in? Oh, my God.

[B]

I don't know.

[A]

Like, when. When feels like an appropriate time, like, to, like, live with someone.

[B]

I think it'll feel. I don't know. I think every relationship is different. Some. Some people. Some it's early, some is late.

[A]

You know, season one, they're like, we're moving in. You're like, I know.

[B]

I do think that if people are gonna get, like, married or whatever. I cannot fathom how people get married and have never lived together. That sounds crazy to me.

[C]

You.

[B]

You really know someone when you fucking live with them.

[A]

Me and Jacob tried to do separate rooms in New York City.

[B]

I thought that was so crazy.

[A]

Why is it so crazy?

[B]

I don't know. I just would just crazy. And I told. I expressed that when you told me,

[A]

I know people have separate homes.

[B]

I know, bitch. Oh, I know. It's a full. It's really big these days. Like, people just they live. They like, oh, my husband has his apartment. I have mine over here. And sometimes we have sleepovers, which sounds

[A]

so the, the, the. The. The set designer for We're Here. Marla Wynoff and her husband for most of their marriage lived in completely separate

[B]

homes in the same city.

[A]

In both. In New York City. But then they move. They both moved to LA and now they live together.

[B]

Yeah, I mean they moved here during the.

[A]

During the Ponder play Meano.

[B]

If it's. If it works for you, then work. But I mean, for me, I would. I don't know if I would want a separate. Like marry someone and like live separately. But again, there's that separation. I mean, you know, it got really big in Sex and the City. You're not sex in the Watcher 1 episode.

[A]

You know, that's all. No, the accent wall. There's one where they Season one. I don't. They paint one wall like this. Like a whole thing is like the

[B]

accent wall has to be season one. I have. I hate season ones. I've literally only watched season one one. So the rest of it I've watched, I mean, hundreds of times.

[A]

And I've seen clips of the one where she's. They take a really bad picture of her.

[B]

Bobby, let me tell you something. Let's talk about shows that don't age well. Sex and sex did not age well.

[A]

Watch the episode of Headless again. I dare you.

[B]

The transphobia, the racism. And Carrie Bradshaw is a fucking bitch. Season three, she was with this. She was dating Aiden and she cheated on him with her all with Mr. Big, who was like the running theme throughout the entire series. Like the one she ends up with. And she cheats on Aiden, which was. Aiden was amazing with Mr. Big, like all throughout season three. Right. Season three ends season four. They break up at the end of season season three. And then she. Season four happens and Aiden comes into her life again and she sees him a bar. She's like, oh my God, I want to be with him. Because she tries to pursue him again and they start dating and she is. She can't believe that he has trust issues with her. Like, bitch, you spent a whole season cheating on him.

[A]

But did he know?

[B]

Yeah, he found out. That's why they broke up. And he. And she. And she. And he's like. She's like, I don't trust. And he's like. She's like, you don't trust me? You don't trust me. Aiden. I like, this is crazy. Toxic. She carried.

[A]

You gotta argue with him. Cause A nigga love toxic bitch.

[B]

Let's take a break. I'll tell you more about Carrie Bradsh. I know you're just so excited to hear more.

[A]

You know, one thing that couples do that kind of drives me a little bit crazy is when couples. I don't know why this irritates me, but when couples won't watch TV shows or movies without the other one, I don't know, I. It's. It makes me unjustifiably angry. I've made a list of things today that makes me unjustifiably angry. I was gonna make a TikTok.

[B]

You wanna read something to you, Bob, this is not. It's not surprising or shocking to me.

[A]

I said you would have this list I made. I said unjustifiable. Like I can't even justify being this angry about anything. Oh, I think I deleted my list on accident.

[B]

This is.

[A]

I'm angry. No, one of them was like pictures of white people laughing when there's no black people around. Like, what are y' all niggas laughing at? Like, what are y' all laughing about? Also people who walk way too slow.

[B]

Oh, I hate. Well, that's cause we're.

[A]

But also people who drive way too fast.

[B]

No, people that drive way too slow piss me off.

[A]

People who drive too fast annoy me.

[B]

Also, if you're into fast lane. Bitch, why the fuck are you into fast lane? If you're gonna drive slow, take your ass to the left, drive to the right.

[A]

Speed limit is not driving.

[B]

But Bob, there is a fast lane. The lane, the lane all the way on the left is the fast lane. If you want to drive the speed limit, there are three other ones to choose from.

[A]

But also, if you're in the fast lane, you can drive a little bit faster. This does not mean. Does not mean. Does not mean go 80 into 60, right?

[B]

But people are in the. In the fast lane. Going to 55. Bitch, take your ass to the right.

[A]

I agree. If you're in a 60, do not drive 55 in the fast lane. You can drive like 65, 60, 70, close to. Close to 70, maybe 70.

[B]

You do drive like a grandma Bobby. Fully on the 10 and 2.

[A]

I do not use 10 and 2.

[B]

Eee.

[A]

I drive with my hand. Recently my hand at the bottom of the steering wheel or one at the bottom.

[B]

Why y' all get in a car? Bob, Bob, you are fully someone's dad. Bob, you are in a full on dad mode when you're driving. No, I don't know. You just have dad energy.

[A]

Like, okay, guys, like I said, I was an aunt. Cause I make people hold my purse.

[B]

You make people hold your. There's a whole backseat. That is mom behavior.

[A]

Okay? What if I want something out of the purse?

[B]

What do you mean?

[A]

You even put in an empty backseat.

[B]

Okay, what do you need out your purse when you're driving, bitch? You have your phone for the directions? It plugged in already.

[A]

What do I want to go to

[B]

the drive through, then? No one is there.

[A]

Also, my list of things that may be unjustified, man. People who don't eat fast food. Oh, yeah, I hate those people. I don't eat. Good for you, bitch.

[B]

Or chips.

[A]

It's like, such a declaration. I don't eat fast food. Okay, bitch. Congratulations. Good for you. Like, if they're saying it at you.

[B]

Oh, for sure.

[A]

They're saying, I'm better than you.

[B]

For sure.

[A]

By saying, oh, I don't eat fast food.

[B]

For sure.

[A]

You can also just say, I'm not interested. Like, if you want to go to McDonald's, I don't eat fast food, Just say.

[B]

I don't.

[A]

Just say no. Just say no next time, people.

[B]

I'm with you. And the people that walk slow. People that walk slow really annoy me.

[A]

I don't think we ever tried to watch. I mean, Jacob and I've had a show that we watched together, but Jacob also watches everything beforehand. And then. Then I was ghost.

[B]

This is.

[A]

This is. This is 100% of the time. Jacob will either watch it beforehand and then try to ask me to. Try to ask me to. He always, like, you gotta watch. What was the reason he tried? Oh, you gotta watch the finale. Every time I have, like, a. Like, I'm like, I'm just gonna play video. He goes, or you could watch the finale to the other two anyway. But then he does a thing where he'll. He will either will start the movie and he'll Google it while we're. As the opening credits. And then he goes,

[B]

Oh, my God, it's the attack on Jacob. He goes,

[A]

do you want to know what happens?

[B]

So Jacob. So Jacob doesn't mind spoilers, clearly.

[A]

No, Jacob wants.

[B]

He seeks him out.

[A]

Jacob, like, before. He will Google the entire synopsis while we're deciding on the movie. And then he goes, that's Jay. So you don't. Do you want to know what happens?

[B]

I hate spoilers. Jay. Jay is just like Jake. He can't watch something without knowing how it ends. That's so weird.

[A]

What's up with that?

[B]

What is that? What's that about like. I like bitch. Enjoy the film.

[A]

I mean, he's enjoying. He's clearly enjoying the film. I mean, Jacob is, like, loving the film. I don't feel like you're accurately representing my point of view. I like spoilers for horror movies so I know when people are going to die. Because I don't like watching horror movies, so I like to know when there's going to be blood so I can avert my eyes. Well, that's the other stuff too.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

I also did that when we were watching that movie with Rihanna and Donald Glover because I wanted to see what

[B]

happened that was such a bad.

[A]

And they all die at the end. And I'm glad I knew that. Spoiler alert. Also, me and Jacob's first, like, fake fight. It wasn't a real fight, was a fake fight. Like, we weren't actually, like, angry. We weren't like, angry. Jacob and I have had, like, fights before, but we weren't actually, like, angry. We're just kind of like Jacob. It was like that kind of fight was watching Planet Earth.

[B]

Oh, God. First of all, the fact that y' all watch Planet Earth and it's is

[A]

a very, like, so boring, well renowned film anyway series.

[B]

Renowned by who?

[A]

By every. Like, it is.

[B]

Who's everyone name. Name three people it's renowned by.

[A]

It is critically acclaimed. Is it? Yes.

[B]

This is a. More. You know what all the. All the Meryl Stream movies. Ain't nobody hear about what that one, the Witches on the Mountain, the one where they're all old ladies with her and Nicole Kidman. They're not good films. They win awards and shit.

[A]

Well, these are objective ideas. Anyway, long story short, what I'm getting at is it is a very, like, the series is very. It has won a lot of awards. Anyway, so at one point we're watching the episodes and Jacob goes, well, it's about to get sad.

[B]

When did penguins die?

[A]

It was some character. Some. One of the. One of the. I mean, care. One of the animals that they were following got killed. And I was like, jacob.

[B]

Yeah, I don't like. I mean, I don't.

[A]

I was invested too.

[B]

Andy and I are watching, like, things.

[A]

It's a Disney series, isn't it?

[B]

Yes, it is. Well, it's on Disney plus.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And I are watching this together. Like, we're watching a great ridge break off right now. And the other he, like, progressed a few episodes and we're gonna watch it. And then in the movie he's like, well, we have to like, watch episode five because I watch episode three and four already, and I was like, oh, my God. I wasn't really mad, but if you, like.

[A]

If, like, oh, so you want to watch it together?

[B]

I don't want. But, like, I was. Bitch. It wasn't my idea to watch it together. He's like, we should watch it together. I'm like, okay. Oh.

[A]

Then he wanted to skip ahead. Yeah, that is annoying.

[B]

I'm like, bitch, you. This is your idea, Jacob.

[A]

Well, Jacob wants to watch things multiple times. And then Jacob also enjoys watching me watch stuff. He's like, jacob, you know, he loves something you want to share with someone. And you're like, he's not watching. But he's like, he, like. He likes the idea of sharing this thing that he enjoys. So luckily, Jacob does not mind watching things several times. He's like, I'll watch it again. But I'm always like, let's watch something neither one of us has watched.

[B]

Yes, that's right.

[A]

And then I'll say that. And then Jacob giggled the whole thing. And then he's like, all right, we're good. Now. We can watch it.

[B]

All right, what about this? When you, like, want your partner to watch something and they, like. And y' all are watching, they fall asleep.

[A]

I don't mind that. And Jacob does not fall asleep while watching stuff. I would fall asleep. You know. You know what does irritate me? It's not just a part of the thing. This is anyone. If I show you something and you don't fucking pay attention to it, that shit pisses me off. I know that shit, girl.

[B]

It is.

[A]

So I'm like, It is a TikTok video. It is 15. Give me your attention for 15 seconds. I'm not asking you to watch a movie. I'm asking you to watch it.

[B]

Watch.

[A]

I'm asking you to watch the entirety of Angels in America. I'm asking you to watch season eight of Drag Race. Can you give me. When you show someone and then 15 seconds, like, three, they're like, so do we have.

[B]

But sometimes, Bob, you will do that in, like, a busy inter. Like, you will do that in, like, a busy thing happening and be shocked when someone pulls my attention. I'm like, bob, there are literally four people in this space.

[A]

Then tell me you can't watch it. Don't tell me you have time.

[B]

You try something about the drag queen that you. That you busy. You can do something in the moment. You try telling them that.

[A]

And I'm very reasonable. And I will say, like, you're like, monet, Just Mon.

[B]

Monet. I'm asking for 15. Literally, that. That whole spiel. I get that. I'm asking for 15 seconds of your time.

[A]

So I've decided to, like, I can't. I cannot. Like, whenever there's, like, a movie I love or, like, a TV show I love and I want to share with someone. You know, I've been very passionate about getting people to watch Breaking Bad. And then, like, if they start, like, using their phone and stuff, I'm like, I can't because you're not paying attention. And especially, there are certain people in my life who only they have this, like, innate ability to look away, look down, or start talking at the most pivotal time in a song. Or specifically Kennedy. Kennedy. Like, at the most important moment of the movie. Like, right when Thanos is about to snap. Kennedy would be like, does anyone have a Where's Spider Man? I'm not answering any questions about Where's Spiderman because you looked away and you start talking right when that motherfucker disintegrated.

[B]

But that's like, when you are showing it or when you, like, want your. Your partner to watch a film, you're like, okay, let's watch this thing. And like, this I'll say, like, you're not watching the thing I want you to watch.

[A]

I can see why that could be annoying. But sleeping is like, you can't. You can't help. I mean, some people can't help.

[B]

Well, bitch, don't watch if you're tired.

[A]

What if you weren't tired when you started in the film you showed them was boring. So I have a policy that you cannot talk while the film is playing. It is very annoying. And also, you're gonna be missing pivotal points. You're gonna be asking questions down the road. So as a rule, if me or someone else are talking, I pause the movie.

[B]

What to say. Okay, but, Bob, no, that is your workaround.

[A]

If anyone speaks, that's your workaround.

[B]

So. But here's the thing. We're watching the thing, and Bob has a remote. So you have the. You can pause whenever the fuck you want.

[A]

And y' all are all talking, and

[B]

everyone else is at. Is. Is. Is at your mercy. Because we don't have remote control.

[A]

Because I don't want to miss parts of the movie. We're all sitting around and then there's a side conversation. We're going to pause. We'll wait.

[B]

You like a fucking sixth grade teacher with a fucking projector card. And that is you. Why would you make your friends watch

[A]

something Because I don't want you to miss stuff. Monet especially. Because it's really. It's really wild. Like, I have this thing now. I'm like. I'm, like, paranoid about showing people my stuff. Because if I show someone my music video, if you start looking at your phone, it's a wrap. I'm like, I will send it to you. You can watch it by yourself. But if I'm with you and you're looking at your phone and I'm, like, showing you my. Something that I worked on, that would really annoy me. I was talking to Todrick about it, too. Todrick was like. Cause Todrick, every once in a while, Todrick will. I don't know if you're. Have we done it together? No. Todrick will invite us over to his hotel in New York City or his home here in la. And you listen to his music that's coming out soon. And, like, him and a couple of friends, you all just, like, listen to his songs that are coming out. And you, like, listen to it. And you. And you like, I like this part. I like this one. Yeah. And he was like, I don't like when I'm doing that. And people, like, start talking.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And I'm like, bitch, same. If I'm playing you, like, music I have never played for anyone, and I'm asking for opinion. And you talk. You start talking in the middle at the bridge. Bitch, you're not listening that shit. That is rude.

[B]

That is annoying. It's very annoying.

[A]

So. So if I'm like. If I have a film, like, I can't, like, We're Here. I can only watch it with people if they're really paying attention.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Otherwise, watch that shit on your own. And then get back to me and tell me how it was.

[B]

I can't wait to see the latest episode. I haven't seen it yet. Everyone's talking about it, though.

[A]

The Selma episode of We're Here. I don't know when this is airing, but the Selma episode of We're Here is legitimately the most important piece of television I have ever.

[B]

That has come out today that I

[A]

have ever done in my life. It is legit the most. Oh, the most important bit of television I've ever done. And. And I also want to show you this absolutely stunning and amazing moment which feels. And we will put this on the screen. We will put this on the screen.

[B]

Where is that?

[A]

This is at 9000 Sunset Boulevard right here in Los Angeles, California. This is legitimately one of the. One of the biggest Billboards in Los Angeles, Las Vegas. I was talking to my agent. He was like, you gotta, you know, promote your little. He didn't say a little. He didn't say. I added a little. Your. Your. Your comedy club dates. He goes, you should do it while you have billboards. It's always easy to sell. It's easy to sell tickets when you have a 30 foot billboard.

[B]

Right?

[A]

As a 30 foot. This is 15 stories.

[B]

Well, I can't even get the scale of it.

[A]

It is 15 stories.

[B]

It is a building that's 15ft tall.

[A]

No, it's 15 stories.

[B]

15 stories is close to 15, like, floors.

[A]

Yes, right. But not 15. It is.

[B]

Did I say 15ft?

[A]

Yeah, this is. It is. It is. It is an entire building. It is an entire building on Sunset Avenue. Which is. Which feels really cool.

[B]

Like, here's my only comment with this. With this. With this. Are you ready for it?

[A]

What?

[B]

This is going to sound shady. Why are you and Eureka the same size?

[A]

Well, there are times where I have noticed that me and Eureka often get edited to be roughly the same size. And I think. I don't know if they're plumping me up or squishing Eureka down. But also, in some instances, me and Shangela are also almost the same height. And I promise you that this is not the height difference between me and Shangela. That is. That is just not our height difference. Shangela is 5 foot 6. I am 6 foot 2. We are not the same height.

[B]

Right.

[A]

Under any circumstances. Monet does something. Did something today that I think is,

[B]

my God,

[A]

rude and hood. It is like. It is so rude.

[B]

Bob, they have times.

[A]

Okay, I've never done this.

[B]

Yes, you have, Bob. You have absolutely. Okay, Bob, you have absolutely come into my home and you were doing a business call and you were like, you. You have. You have done that. Is it all. Do you do it all the time? No. Do I do all the time? No. But a friend called me and they had. Yes, you have absolutely come into my house. Bob, when you were on a business call.

[A]

I feel like if I go to someone's home and I'm on a call, I will stand outside until the call is done or I will go into their home and I will sneak into another room.

[B]

That's what I did.

[A]

Monet will plant her sweat.

[B]

I went into your drag lab. What are you talking about? In the middle. That is not true.

[A]

There was a moment where me, Gloria, Akilah, Derek, and Jacob were all looking at you on the phone. Just looking at you.

[B]

Okay, to be fair, I thought I was coming to Bob's house to record a podcast, not do a meet and greet with 18 people. I didn't know there was gonna be a fleet of people here.

[A]

Even if it was just me and Jacob. He's in the middle of the.

[B]

I ain't your best friend of 90 going on 10 years. I can walk my ass in here talking to the phone if I need to.

[A]

This is how you. You don't get to decide.

[B]

Yes, the hell I can.

[A]

I couldn't even touch your hands earlier. Now you get to walk around my house with carte blanche.

[B]

And I came in and I was on the phone, and then there were like a wall of people coming at me. I was like, oh, shit, there's not a wall. You just named 18 people in the room.

[A]

First of all, Akilah and Derrick were on the porch. They were not coming at you.

[B]

Oh, so then at which point were y' all surround under army?

[A]

Then Gloria was in the studio and. And it was just me and Jacob. Okay, so where's the wall of people attacking me?

[B]

And at which point was everyone surrounding me then in the middle of the

[A]

room, as you were coming out of the drag lab. And I was like, this is wild. And we're all looking at you. We all got a whisper. Cause you're with your big rough ass hands.

[B]

Because I wanted. Akilah looked very excited to see me, so I was like, oh. And so I'm trying to like, hurry up the phone so I can hug her and greet her.

[A]

But wouldn't it make more sense to just wait outside til the phone call's over before you ring the doorbell?

[B]

No, because you live in a tight community. I don't want to be outside on the phone yelling and be like, oh my God, this loud black nigger and his friends will making noise.

[A]

The one with the big slave hands.

[B]

So I think it was more perfect for me to come inside your home instead of talking in your vestibule.

[A]

There are other black folks. How many other black folks live here?

[B]

I never seen no black people in here.

[A]

There's a black guy lives over there. There's one other black guy.

[B]

He's kind of black.

[A]

He's black. He's absolutely black.

[B]

He's kind of.

[A]

You never seen him?

[B]

Yes, I have.

[A]

He also drives a Toyota.

[B]

Oh, so you're saying he's.

[A]

I'm just saying the two. The two. The two black guys drive Toyotas.

[B]

Getting Tesla. We should get Teslas. Let's sell our cars and get Teslas.

[A]

I have a car. And it is the car that I'm using for another at least seven years. This is me and my car.

[B]

I was talking to a mutual friend of ours and we're saying, you know

[A]

why I didn't get a Tesla? Sorry. Before we move on, I actually wanted to get a Tesla.

[B]

I remember this.

[A]

You have to wait. And at the time it was like a four month wait.

[B]

Oh, that wouldn't be accurate.

[A]

I was like, I want to leave with a car. And if you go to the Tesla store, you don't leave with a car. They don't have like a fleet of Teslas you can drive off with.

[B]

Really?

[A]

Ain't that crazy?

[B]

That's crazy.

[A]

You go in there and you order a car and you like make them. They're like made to order.

[B]

I mean, I'm down for that, but

[A]

I don't want to. I didn't want to wait four months for a car, but got my car today.

[B]

Well, now I have my car. I'm going to. My next car will definitely, probably be a Tesla because again, I've been really, you know, I've been trying to battle my whole. Trying to have a green up footprint.

[A]

I drive a hybrid, so. Footprint, footprint, carbon footprint.

[B]

I've gotten rid of like paper towels in my house and trying to just use rags. But I bring it out when guests are coming because having guests these rags kind of weird. But I'm like, it shouldn't be weird

[A]

unless you get a lot of rags, right?

[B]

Yeah. Anyway, so bitch is getting Teslas.

[A]

Marcia, one's always trying to be different than everybody else.

[B]

No, but I think every car in

[A]

this town's a Tesla.

[B]

Are they?

[A]

Yes, a Tesla or Prius. Every car in LA is a Tesla or Prius or. And the other option is a white suv.

[B]

All of this. I was saying, I think that they have the technology to make fucking like imagine the whole roof of a Tesla was solar panels. Then it just charges itself all day as opposed to you have to plug it up every night.

[A]

Well, I don't think a solar power is.

[B]

Is strong enough.

[A]

Strong enough to.

[B]

Yeah, Really? I don't think they can harness that shit.

[A]

I mean, I'm not a fucking scientist. But the thing about, you know, like the solar power that it takes to power a house is like, it is like the entire roof is solar panels.

[B]

Right.

[A]

And it still only. Only powers like a little bit of the house.

[B]

You know what I mean?

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

And also we can park your car in the sun.

[B]

I mean, it's LA everywhere, it's sunny everywhere. Well, also to get solar probably to have direct sunlight. You can like be. Let's say you.

[A]

I think you do.

[B]

I don't think you do.

[A]

Can we google that?

[B]

Because you like those arrays. That energy is not just direct, it bounces. That's why you. You can get. You can get sunburned when Hood be

[A]

trying to talk aside. That tickles me. When the rays is the rays, they be hitting the.

[B]

That's how you get sunburned in. If you're under a covered thing because the sun rays are still hitting you.

[A]

Okay, that's UV. I don't think UV is what powers.

[B]

I mean, I'm sure UVs is up in there. Yeah, but you know, it's like a cocktail of rays.

[A]

Okay, you don't need UV rays to power solar power.

[B]

You don't know that. You just. You're guessing.

[A]

No, I do know that.

[B]

Okay, let's see.

[A]

Okay, well. Oh my God, you're.

[B]

You're ridiculous.

[A]

Just so clear. You don't. I know that you do not need. Does wait, does solar power contain UV rays? Need direct sunlight. Solar powers will be best in full. Direct sunlight. But solar powers in cloudy weather or indirect sunlight, like will still function.

[B]

Thank you. What I was saying.

[A]

But. But I'm just saying it's not. It's not uv. Like for example.

[B]

Okay, can you see typing. Can the solar power contain uv? No.

[A]

The solar power need UV rays.

[B]

No, no, no. Contain. I said does it have. I. I said it's probably in there. That's what I said.

[A]

But that's what I said. You're asking, does it convert UV rays?

[B]

That's not. You're adding shit. I never said that.

[A]

You're saying, is it. What do you mean? Is it in there in solar power?

[B]

UV rays are among the rays up in the solar power hood.

[A]

Bitch hood Science. So what do you want me to type?

[B]

Does solar power contain UV rays?

[A]

I don't think this is what you.

[B]

That is what I said.

[A]

I don't even. No one else. This is not even a suggestion. Solar power. Solar panels are comprised of photovoltaic cells that react to UV rays and transform it into electricity.

[B]

That's what I said. I said UV rays are up in solar power. That's what I said.

[A]

You made it so vague. But anything.

[B]

I love how when I write Bob, I was like.

[A]

Well, because you. This is what I said. What I'm saying is like, you know how like those. Do you remember those key. Those. What do you call them? Calculators that were solar powered? Uh huh. But you could charge it with a flashlight. And that's not UV rays. Yeah, you should put a flashlight on it. And it would charge your calculator. And then your calculator would work. And then if you cover. You remember, if you cover the solar thing.

[B]

I don't remember.

[A]

Then the calculator part would fade away.

[B]

Do you remember how do glow things work?

[A]

Remember like she was like, you put flashlights on them.

[B]

Yeah, but what is in there? What is it?

[A]

Uv, apparently.

[B]

What is it? What's making things glow in the dark?

[A]

I am not a scientist. What? I don't know much about algebra. Glow in the dark equals. You paint glow. Here we go. Phosphoric paint is commonly called glow in the dark paint. It is made from phosphors such as silver activated zinc sulfide or doped straw strontium illuminate.

[B]

You know what you sound like? You sound like a partipredact. A particular DAX cavern.

[A]

It typically glows a pale green or greenish blue color. It typically uses body paint.

[B]

There it is.

[A]

So luminous paint work.

[B]

Remember when Detox did her as two talent show with her paint drumming?

[A]

Yeah, that was. That was. That was day glow. That was like. Yeah. I thought it looked really. I thought it was really cool.

[B]

It was really cool. I was like, only Detox coming here. Detox, not a drummer.

[A]

Supersonic.

[B]

That's what it was.

[A]

Supersonic.

[B]

It was so cool though.

[A]

Then smacked her ass like a drum.

[B]

I love Detox. Okay, this is quick. Who are some of your favorite rude girls?

[A]

My two favorite rude girls. Are you in Alaska? You're my two favorite rude girls.

[B]

Not two. I said, who are some of your favorite rude girls?

[A]

I just named two of them. Two of them. Whoa. I just named my two favorite rude girls. What do you guys want for me? These are my two favorite rude girls.

[B]

Not two. Some.

[A]

Okay, what number that is? Some is two, not some.

[B]

Two is a couple.

[A]

Some of my favorite rude girls. You. Alaska. Peppermint. Naomi Smalls. No, I'm not done. Kim Violet. Those are some of my favorites. Who are some of your favorites? I said some. Are you hungry?

[B]

I'm hungry, but I had to go, bitch. I have call time. I had to be. The car is picking me up at 4:45 in the morning, which means I have to get pain. Don't even.

[A]

You don't want to eat with me?

[B]

I can't, Mom. I have to go to bed. I'm already gonna. Okay. I have to have makeup on also. I'm not eating. I'm. When I'm eating.

[A]

Keep Your face on.

[B]

No, I'm gonna do a completely different makeup.

[A]

Sleep like. Like Nosferatu. Wake up in the morning.

[B]

Okay, So, y', all, I try to get boxes with this, and Bob is being very weird about it. Now you're getting a little surgery in your accident.

[A]

Also. You're getting.

[B]

You're getting a surgery acting like you can't do things. I suggest that you, Jacob, Andy, and I go on a double date. And you were like. I was like, well, it has to be tomorrow, because after I get my surgery, I can't.

[A]

I'll do better than you.

[B]

You won't be able to not walk. You just can't talk and scream, which is. Which would be great for the rest of us. Can we go to Six Flags and get flashbacks and go on all the

[A]

rides when I can't talk? Yeah, we can go to Six Flags. At some point, I got invited to Palm Springs, too. And I was like, I can't talk, Stephen Jenner. Like, you don't come to Paul's friends. I was like, I won't be able to talk in my head. I'm like, I just gonna be, like, sitting around, looking like Justin.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Sitting in the corner. Sitting the corner. Okay. I'm gonna be Justin. I want to be my brother. I will become my brother. Just sit in the corner, not talking.

[B]

But what's it gonna. Yeah, you said.

[A]

Oh, that. The double day. You want to go on double day with Andy?

[B]

Yeah. We can, though. I want you to revisit those old Six Flags days when you were going

[A]

sneak in, and I was not sneaking in. My mother dropped me off.

[B]

Oh, yeah, that's what. I was gagged that you were dropped off at 12 years old at Six Flags, which sounds crazy to me.

[A]

We did, my friend. Bam Bam did Bam Bam Bam Bam did sneak to the front of the lines.

[B]

That's what it was. But you don't say bam. Cause you enjoy. You did it as well.

[A]

Bam Bam influenced me. Bam Bam was a bad influence. But, yeah, no, we can go. We can go out once. I. So just hearing the surgery is. By the time you've heard this, the surgery's already happened. It was in my plan that I want to. I mean, I gotta start doing it soon. I would like to film a video every year to be released on. Have you seen it on the podcast yet?

[B]

Yes.

[A]

Oh, I'll say it anyway. For people who are new, I want to film a video every year to be released on New Year's. And it's. And it says if you're Watching this.

[B]

You dead.

[A]

I'm already dead. And it's a video that I'll be releasing post mortem. But then every year if it doesn't happen, I'll just delete the video and then make a new one.

[B]

And I said, no, you should just have them. And then like for that, let's say you do, you live for 365 more years. Just put one out every year until there's no more. I say, I say however long you do it, the video comes out every year. But it will play them in reverse order.

[A]

Wait, you think I should play all of them?

[B]

Yeah, you. So like, let's say God forbid you were to die this year, the one you record, or which you would been doing them for the past five years, but the one you recorded this year would pay January 1, 2022. And January 1, 2023 will be the one from the year before.

[A]

Oh, that could be really interesting.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Wow.

[B]

Because you would be getting younger.

[A]

But also what I want to put in the video, I just want to be like, hey guys, it's me. I'm Bob the Drag Queen. I'm dead now.

[B]

I'm sure you'll find something to see. You. I think you find something to see. Well, for the next.

[A]

If we can't in the next three weeks, I won't be able to say anything. But I think that is interesting. So if so, I mean, I haven't actually made the video yet. So as of if I die, if I die before 2022, it's not happening. But if I die during 2022, January 1, 2023, 23, look out for that video. But I don't anyone to see them. Like, it's going to just be me, the editor and whoever shot it. And then I'll just, just release them like for all these years. You'll be like, hey guys, the year is 22,000. So and so. And I just wanted you to know,

[B]

I think maybe something you should put in it is like, maybe like something of like recapping the. Not recapping, but like talking about some things that big events have happened in that year so far.

[A]

The reason why I don't want to release them all is because I don't want to make a completely new one every year. I want to be able to use some of the same jokes. I want to be able to use some of the same stuff and like some of those moments that were in the old ones. I want to be able to care you be dead.

[B]

Who cares?

[A]

Touche.

[B]

You imagine everyone's just the same jokes every time. We're like, all right, Bob.

[A]

I mean, honestly, I could see people, these fans, girl, they will drag my dead ass still. Oh, one of your little fans. I felt sometimes I respond to comments on TikTok and Twitter and my responses are very articulate. And sometimes I just say, shut the fuck up.

[B]

What happened?

[A]

There was someone. Someone in your. One of your little fans commented on your little video you made about me where you tried to drag me because I. Because I didn't like the smiling couple. You tried because I didn't like the little smiling couple. And they were like, honestly, Bob is just so toxic. And I just responded, shut the fuck up. Like, I was going to like, do like something really like, like actually well thought out. But it just felt so good to be like, shut, shut the fuck up.

[B]

Here's what I wanted to do recently. What is someone.

[A]

I want to find it because I want to, like, just see. I'm listening, by the way. Go ahead.

[B]

What I said on one of my videos that I did recently and someone said the one who lost or something like that. And I wanted to, you know, how can you, like, react to a comment. Yeah, a video of me, like with my crown on or something like that?

[A]

Well, you know, now on TikTok, you can actually do video replies to other people's videos.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

Yeah, like a comment I can. Like, for example, this one here that says this bout to be a civil rivalry segment. I can reply and do a video. Oh, and be like, actually it is. You are in a civil rivalry segment. But yeah, you can actually respond. But yeah, that felt. It felt really good to just be like, honestly, shut the fuck up. Sometimes I'll be like, I'll lead in and like, you'll think it's gonna, like, with all due respect, shut the up.

[B]

Right?

[A]

Like, shut the up. You, like, do some of that dabble in shutting the up. We try shutting the up. Shut the up is one of the most well structured, like phrases in the. And it's so sad. Shut the up is so satisfying to say. Like, it. And it like. And it doesn't actually make sense. Like, shut. Shut up.

[B]

Right?

[A]

And then the shut. Shut the. Shut the up. It feels. It's probably my favorite collection of words. Shut the up.

[B]

No. Yeah, no, I think.

[A]

And also, I love under no circumstances. I love saying the words under no circumstances.

[B]

No, I like. I like, absolutely not.

[A]

Absolutely not.

[B]

There's absolutely no way it's happening.

[A]

How do I feel about under no circumstances? Like, there you. There's Nothing you can think of.

[B]

Not a single circumstance in the infinite.

[A]

All the math. Under no circumstances. I love saying that. Bobby coming out today. Under no circumstances also.

[B]

Absolutely not. Can be. Can. Can be deceptive. Like. Like a nice little deceptive cadence.

[A]

Like, you think you absolutely.

[B]

You think it's gonna resolve on the one, but I got you at a six, honey.

[A]

Not.

[B]

Yeah, absolutely not.

[A]

Yeah, that is great. That feels. I might get under no circumstances tattooed on my body somewhere. Should we get some more ink?

[B]

Oh, yeah, I want to get some more ink. I want. I want to get a whole. Because, you know, now I got. But here's the thing. No, it's looking good now, bitch. I'm a couple in and outs away from the knives.

[A]

This is the thing. We be up in here. Let's say I do this too. You get. You get a little slim. You'd be like, this is me. This is the new me, bitch. This is me forever.

[B]

The.

[A]

It is.

[B]

Well, so that's why I'm not a fan of. We kind of talked about this fitness. I'm not a fan of fat diets because I will never keep on doing that. I will never meal prep. I'll do it for, like a month. And they'll be. So I eat how I eat and just work out, so hopefully I can stay it. Keep that homeostasis.

[A]

There are folks who'd be really out here in these streets meal prepping, like, meal. I know, like, and I can't. There's a guy on TikTok who's like. Who's like, I cook once a month. And here's how he cooks once month.

[B]

And he just packages them, freezes them.

[A]

He. So he takes all the food he cooks for like a day or two straight, puts everything in a deep freezer, and then he takes the meals out and puts them in the fridge like, a day or two before. So every, like, day or so, he'll put the food in the fridge each day. He just rotated. Goes into the fridge, and you take it out. You microwave it or you cook it.

[B]

No, and I guess it's just. Just like buying, like a bunch of hungry man meals or these, like, X factor food delivery things.

[A]

I will say this. It's not it's factor. I would say this. This is not. This is not paid. You love that factor was busting. Like, it. It was like you loved it. I was eating healthy.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

I was eating like. Like, when I cook, when it's me, Jacob knows it. There was a point during quarantine where I had to stop Cooking. Because I. I only cooked two things. I cooked two things. Technically three. But the third one, I never cooked. No, I cook oatmeal and I cook noodles. I was eating a jar of ketchup a week. No, a jar of peanut butter a week. A full jar.

[B]

It's a lot of sugar in there.

[A]

It was this sugar added in the summer. But I would. That's not the point. Because there are sugar. There are. There are no sugar. It's actually more sodium than sugar. There's something about people who there. There's a few specific foods that people always be, like, ink. It's ye. Jinky. And it annoys me. You know what?

[B]

It is another thing that just.

[A]

Yeah, it annoys me. Whenever you get fucking orange juice and someone goes, it's jingar. Shut the fuck up. Shut the fuck up. And it's like this vendetta against orange juice.

[B]

No one is.

[A]

Yes, it is. Cause I will eat a donut and they'll be like, it's a donut. But you're like, I'm having orange juice. And it's. There's some always, like, you know, there's just sugar. Well, the problem is it's not just

[B]

sugar because orange juice has tricked you and think that you're eating healthy. And that's this. Especially growing up black. Well, bitch, when I was sick or sending my mom to have a glass of orange juice, I'm having Tropicana. I might as well have a Sprite or Coca Cola.

[A]

Well, because it has vitamin C that if you're sick, you know, sugar doesn't make you more sick. Caffeine, milk makes you more sick. Vitamin C actually helps with being sick.

[B]

The amount of vitamin C in orange juice is negligible.

[A]

Not true in Tropicana and again, not true. Do you know why?

[B]

Why?

[A]

Because the vitamin C and Tropicana and hi C and that stuff is fortified. So it's not the natural amount. There is. There's like whatever is actually in the oranges and they fortify it and they just. They mean they put much more vitamin C in them. So the amount of vitamin C in a. In a high C soft beverage is actually your daily allotment. That's their whole. That's why it's called hi C. The whole thing is because it's high in vitamin C. That's literally the entire thing, allegedly. Also, the vitamin D in milk is also fortified.

[B]

Also when hi C got fruit punch and that's high in C too. Fruit punch and Berry Blue Berry Busted

[A]

Blast is high in vitamin C. Why is that weird? They're literally just dumping vitamin C into something.

[B]

Well, also, because. Which I learned I did this in high school. We did a whole course on weasel words. And there are ways that companies put these weasel words on products that think you're getting what you're saying and you're really not.

[A]

First of all, you went to public school in New York City.

[B]

Yeah. Some of the best public schools in America. While you over there talking, what's your little. What was it?

[A]

Clayton County.

[B]

Clayton County.

[A]

Morrow High School.

[B]

Morrow High School. Girl.

[A]

Yeah. What's your school that almost lost its accreditation one year after I graduated? After I graduated. Let's get that clear.

[B]

Honey, I think we've done it.

[A]

Well, you always trying to click. Why you. You guys don't want to be. Y' all knows that Monet's been trying to, like, wrap the show up before it's time to wrap it up lately. Have y' all noticed that? So what happens is we do the show, and then Jacob goes like. Like, the past couple episodes, Monet's been like, we're done. Right? I can't leave. Can I leave?

[B]

I've been doing this podcast for a long time. No one ran it out.

[A]

Let Jacob do his job. Monae wants to give y' all less. So we'll go so Monet can wake up in the morning.