The One About Atsuko Okatsuka

Summary

Sibling Rivalry – "The One About Atsuko Okatsuka"

Release Date: June 9, 2025
Main Guests: Atsuko Okatsuka
Hosts: Bob the Drag Queen, Monét X Change

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Episode Overview

This episode brings comedian Atsuko Okatsuka to Sibling Rivalry for a rollicking, affectionate conversation filled with witty banter, vulnerable insights, and signature clowning from Bob and Monét. Atsuko talks about her new Hulu special "Father" (out June 13), being a self-described “people pleaser,” making friends as an adult, dealing with rowdy crowd members, and reveals her struggle (and surprising skill) at deciphering emojis. The chemistry is electric, wildly supportive, and just a little bit spicy.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Sibling Dynamics & Introductions

• The hosts argue (jokingly) over which of them is Atsuko’s "real friend," with Bob claiming he knew Atsuko first.
• Atsuko affectionately teases the dynamic:

  “This dynamic is too fun to watch, and sometimes I get scared. I’m like, oh, they mean it.” ([02:22])

2. Los Angeles vs. New York and First Meeting

• Atsuko clarifies she lives in LA, not NYC, surprising the hosts.
• Monét shares their first meeting story—a serendipitous LAX encounter, fashion being a standout memory:

  “I see someone in this beautiful, like, colorful kaleidoscope, this, like, extravagant big duster coat.” ([09:18])

3. Hair, Wigs, and Visual Identity

• Atsuko discusses Nashville’s hair salon scene and the challenge of finding a stylist who understands diverse looks.
• Running gag: Bob and Monét discuss which wigs would work for Atsuko—but with cultural sensitivity!
• Atsuko’s signature bowl cut and costume choices are praised, especially her Hulu special outfit.

  “We put some wiring in it to look kind of like a…like a flower petal, you know?” ([11:43])

4. Comedy, Dance Skills, and Competitive Spirit

• Atsuko is quizzed on whether she’s a better dancer than fellow comedians.

  “100%. We already know this. We’ve tried dancing together.” ([12:40])

• Monét claims, “You are a dancer!” based on Atsuko's special. ([12:21])
• The group pokes fun at the idea of comedians on dance shows like "Dancing with the Stars."

5. Games, Deception, and Friendship

• Hilarious stories about game nights and who’s the better liar. Bob calls out Monét for being sly:

  "Monet loves to lie. It is her favorite pastime." ([16:53])

• Chat about making friends as adults, with Bob admitting he doesn’t seek out new friendships:

  “I have all the friends I want, and the new ones that happen organically, I welcome them.” ([20:28])

• All three prefer being rejected over rejecting.

6. Navigating Social Awkwardness (and Nashville)

• Atsuko recounts being mistaken for someone in a costume on Halloween in Nashville:

  “One of them just goes, ‘Nice costume.’ And I go, ‘Oh, I’m not wearing a costume.’ And then she goes, ‘Oh, so you just look like this on a Thursday.’” ([19:03])

• Discussion on social anxiety, cultural norms, and feeling out of place.

7. Audience Interactions and Handling Hecklers

• Atsuko revisits her viral "break-up in the front row" show clip, revealing the real story behind the moment:

  "Whoever is the one leaving is the bitch, right?" ([24:55])

• Bob and Monét discuss different tactics for managing disruptive audience members.

8. Atsuko’s “Wario” Alter Ego

• Bob proposes a "Wario World” version of Atsuko—Watsco—who gets to be mean to unruly crowd members for her:

  “Watsco wears black eyeliner… and she is ripping people to shreds.” ([27:20])

9. Eyebrow Reveal – A Podcast Exclusive

• A major moment: Atsuko reveals her hidden eyebrows live.

  “[removes bangs] You look like a different… I don’t even recognize you.” ([31:41])

• The hosts compare looks: "Leading lady, art gallery owner ... villain."

10. Dropping Out of College & Thrill-Seeking

• Atsuko reveals she studied psychology for a year and a half before quitting, partly due to a brutal commute.
• The group discusses thrill-seeking: Monét jumps off a building in drag (and plans a wig reveal that never happens) while Atsuko and Bob avoid thrill rides and the ocean.

  “I just learned how to swim. I am like a new swimmer.” ([35:36])

11. Fact-Checking and the Great Shark Debate

• Bob and Monét spar over the danger of reef and nurse sharks, with Bob insisting on their harmlessness—until Bob is fact-checked live:

  “Business Insider has an article…model was bitten by a nurse shark.” ([39:11])

12. Photo Shoots, Modeling, and Football Antics

• Atsuko describes a Vanity Fair-style shoot involving football and wire rigs:

  “They were like, you are the quarterback. Pose like it. So I held the ball and I kept pointing at the football players…They had to be like, stop, stop. Quarterbacks don’t do that.” ([41:49])

13. Drama Kids and School Cliques

• Lively shade thrown at drama and choir kids—Bob calls drama kids “the worst,” Monét claims singers are loving and community-minded.

14. Emoji Deciphering Game

• The group plays a game trying to interpret obscure emojis, debating the meanings and cultural context.

  “I just want to let you know where to meet. I just want to let you know this is the restaurant we’re meeting at…so I put emojis so people know that, hey, this is meant to be nice.” ([46:00])

• Atsuko surprises herself with her decoding ability.

15. Upcoming Tour and Special

• Atsuko plugs her June 13 Hulu special “Father” and upcoming fall tour (“Atsuko.Comedy.com has all the dates”). She jokes about her tour being a venue for public breakups.
• Monét and Bob shower Atsuko with praise, promising to promote her special.

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On the hosts’ friendship:

  “You told me backstage that you have a Bob in your life, that you are Monet and you have a Bob in your life.” (Bob, [03:35]) “My grandma. So Bob embodies a Taiwanese 90 year old grandma.” (Atsuko, [03:43])

• On being a people pleaser and making friends:

  “To probably too much of a people pleaser. A little bit, though. It's more like, you know, I'm hard on myself probably.” (Atsuko, [18:49])

• On rejection:

  “I would be rejected all day. I'm submissive. I am a people pleaser. I do not like conflict.” (Atsuko, [21:54])

• On thrill-seeking:

  “I will not set one foot in the ocean. I will go to the beach, but I don’t fuck with the ocean. Only I’ll be on the ocean is on a gigantic ship a hundred feet off the surface of the water.” (Bob, [35:34])

• On fact-checking:

  "When you have friends like this, you have to fact check. When you have friends like that one next to you, you have to fact check." (Bob, [39:56])

• On prescription advice: (Humor meets PSA)

  “It is very important. If you are prescribed antibiotics, finish the entire round of antibiotics prescribed to you…You could be creating a super bug.” (Bob, [40:54])

• Emoji moment:

  “Context matters. Often if you send that [tongue out emoji] after, like, maybe with someone you've hooked up with…context matters.” (Monét, [48:17])

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Important Segment Timestamps

• [02:22] – Atsuko’s first impressions of the sibling rivalry dynamic
• [09:14] – Monét and Atsuko recall meeting for the first time at the airport
• [12:07] – Atsuko and the hosts debate her dancing chops
• [18:49] – People pleasing and being hard on oneself
• [19:03] – Atsuko’s “nice costume” Nashville elevator story
• [24:55] – “Whoever is the one leaving is the bitch” (Atsuko on viral show breakup)
• [27:20] – The creation of "Watsco," Atsuko's mean alter ego
• [31:41] – Atsuko’s eyebrow reveal – “Who is she?”
• [35:36] – Hosts reveal their aversion to thrill rides and swimming in the ocean
• [39:11] – Bob fact-checked about nurse shark bites
• [41:49] – Atsuko’s story of her wired Vanity Fair shoot as a quarterback
• [46:00] – “I just want to let you know where to meet…” (Atsuko on using emojis)
• [49:29] – Emoji deciphering game with Atsuko
• [55:58] – Atsuko plugs her fall tour and Hulu special (“Father” out June 13)
• [56:47] – Discussion about Pride Month scheduling and representation

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Closing Note

The episode is classic Sibling Rivalry—equal parts hilarious drag banter, genuine vulnerability, and chaotic goofing. Atsuko is warmly welcomed (and roasted) by Bob and Monét, delivering in spades with self-deprecating humor and astute observations on identity, performance, and friendship. The podcast ends with mutual admiration and a big plug for Atsuko's special and upcoming tour.

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Transcript

[A]

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[B]

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[A]

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[A]

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[B]

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[A]

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[B]

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[A]

I can create a site with my eyes closed. Shopify thinks ahead of us, you know,

[B]

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[C]

Every day I'm thinking about some other new business, but Shopify is doing it

[B]

to me because it's so easy to use.

[C]

It's like I can't stop. I'm addicted. Start your free [e-mail]. my name is Bob the Drag Queen,

[B]

and I'm Monet's James, and this is simply rivalry. On this week's episode, we decipher emojis.

[C]

We welcome Atsuko to the podcast.

[A]

And we find out what made Monet say this.

[B]

In my brain made sense. And we find out what made Bob say this.

[C]

Don't let Monae get you gathered. Monae be trying to get people canceled. And we found out what made Atsuko say this.

[A]

Whoever is the one leaving is the bitch. Right?

[C]

Hello, everyone. We are gonna jump right in with our absolutely beautiful special guest. She is hilarious. You have seen her all over the world. She has an HBO special, and now she's. She has a special come out on Hulu on June 13th called Father. Let's make some noise. Monet, you want to help introduce our guest or she's going to sit there.

[B]

Very fabulous.

[C]

My friend.

[B]

And my friend Otsuko is absolutely my friend.

[C]

I still want to clear this up.

[B]

I knew Asuka way before you did.

[C]

Asuka will clear this up. Give it up for Asuka.

[A]

Oh, my God.

[B]

Hello.

[A]

Hi, beautifuls. This dynamic is too fun to watch, and sometimes I get scared. I'm like, oh, they mean it. They mean it. And I really kind of. Sometimes I don't know.

[C]

We do.

[B]

We do.

[A]

I guess I could see that because I had heard you live not too far from each other. There is a way. Like, you're in the same town right now.

[C]

Yeah, it is three minutes for me.

[B]

I live Three minutes on the roof from Bob.

[A]

Right.

[B]

The restraining order is the restraining order that Monet put. I enacted the restraining order for sure

[C]

because she's a little bitch and she had to get the law involved.

[B]

Atsuko's grandmother gonna watch this. Bob, be careful.

[A]

What's the. What's a rest. What's the restraining order where it's just three minutes away? Three. Like, this is good.

[C]

It's the SR law. It's a new one. Sibling rivalry. The SR Restraining order. But it's something that we had to work out with our lawyers, and it should be rolling out nationwide soon. Around the time Trump rolls out his gold card. $5 million gold card. That should roll out around the same time.

[A]

Oh, my God. Where you love the person, like, enough. Where it's like, okay, three minutes away is good.

[B]

Exactly.

[C]

You told me backstage that you have a Bob in your life, that you are Monet and you have a Bob in your life.

[B]

Oh, my God. Who's your Bob?

[A]

My grandma. So Bob embodies a Taiwanese 90 year old grandma.

[B]

Honestly. VAT scans. VAT scans. Vat scans. That sounds like Bob the Dragon. 100%.

[C]

I'm an icon is what you're saying. I'm an icon.

[A]

People love her. People love her. I'm good. I'm good. I feel. It's so wild. I mean, I've seen. I feel like more of Andy than the two of you.

[B]

I know you've been hanging out with Andy. It's very upsetting to me that you hang out with Andy way more than me. Like, I'm, like, jealous y' all were

[C]

talking about me together. It's not an upgrade.

[A]

I am not superficial. I am about, you know, I'm just about human connections. Whoever it is. I don't care about followings or followers.

[C]

Can I tell the fans something that you just told us? Asuka said that she just woke up, and you look great for someone who just woke up. This is like, do you. I know you probably get this question line. I don't want to harp on this because you're probably. You probably can't talk about the haircut more than you've already spoken about it. But, like, do you have to, like, did you have to, like, cause or do you.

[B]

Are you.

[C]

Are you. Are you ready? Are you shake up and, like, ready to go?

[A]

No, no, no. This is. Yeah, this is product. You know, there's heat protection, some sort of spray I got at Nashville to, you know. Yeah.

[B]

There's moonshine.

[A]

Yeah, right. I know it's hard for Me, Nashville is one of those place. Every time I go, there is. I don't feel. I left. I leave not feeling good, you know? Do you feel that way?

[C]

This is valid.

[B]

Yeah. I never played Nashville. I've only in drag or in my stam career. I've only ever. I did Tennessee one time. Bob and I did Memphis, Tennessee, on our tour in 22.

[C]

Remember, Bob?

[B]

I do remember.

[C]

My cousin came.

[B]

Yeah, we did Memphis, Tennessee. And that's the only time. That's the only. I've never done anything else in drag. I mean, which. Thank God, because drag is fucking banned there anyway, so.

[A]

Exactly. Exactly. Yeah. So exactly. And that feeling is there, you know what I mean? Even just me trying to look for. I needed a hair trim in Nashville, and so I was like, of course here, out of all places, I need a hair salon that understands. But, you know, they all do long blonde hair. They're all doing the, you know, the country music. Long blonde hair.

[C]

If you came out with the long. If you came out with the Kim Zolciak, people would be like, what is happening? Oh, my God.

[B]

Oh, Atsuko, you need to come over to my house one day. We're gonna just plant some wigs. I want to put Atsuko in a middle.

[C]

Her name is Atsuko.

[B]

Atsuko.

[C]

No, you're saying Atsuko. Her name is Atsuko.

[B]

I said Atsuko. That's my accent, bitch. That's how I.

[C]

Her name is here.

[A]

We appreciate all cultures, all accents.

[B]

Thank you very much.

[A]

Intonations.

[B]

Thank you.

[C]

Don't let me butcher your name.

[A]

I just come in with an announcer voice once in a while. That's how we'll settle here we are all inclusive. Buffet. What?

[B]

But, like. But could you imagine Atsuko wearing this wig right here? Ms. Orange right here.

[C]

Would you try on some wigs for us one day?

[A]

I would love that.

[B]

That would be a great video. That would be a great video for the channel.

[A]

I just had to clean out my closet of. I had, like, really cheap ones, you know, when I was, like, a dreamer and I was like, oh, maybe, but.

[C]

Well, we gotta be. Me and Monet. We got some nigga wigs, so we can't.

[B]

We can't put you.

[C]

I can't put you in our, like, dreadlocks in our braids. We have to really curate the wigs, Oscar.

[B]

Yeah, definitely.

[A]

Of course.

[B]

Definitely. No dreads or cornrows or braids. But I mean, it's orange, so that's different.

[C]

You better have, like, a Dell with bantu knots and the Jamaican flag with

[B]

a big no chance with this one. I think I won't be fine.

[C]

Well, they don't. Also, do not put that wig on. Don't let Monet get you gathered. Monet be trying to get people canceled. Don't. I'll make sure I'm there for the wig trying on, because Monet will do some goofy shit.

[B]

Okay, so we're settled. We're going to do sibling. We're going to do sibling wiggery. Atka's going to come over, and we're going to put a bunch of different

[A]

wigs on her we love. Yes. And it'll be in private, but, yes. For sure that, you know, when it gets dicey. When it gets dicey, I'm like, you know what? I'll just keep this haircut. That's true.

[C]

Why did I think you lived in New York? I would have bet my entire. Like, I would have bet the whole fortune. I'd have been like, if. If it. If it. If it came down to Double Jeopardy. And they were like, the category is at school. And I'd be like, you know, I think I'm going to be pretty good on this.

[A]

And then, damn, that's very low stakes if that's the category and then you're on Double Jeopardy. Oh, my God.

[C]

And if the answer was like. Like, Asuko lives here. I'd be like, what is New York City? And I would be so confident, having bet everything. I would have gagged. When they said LA.

[A]

When they said 3 minutes away as well, when they said, actually, Monet and Atsuko live together.

[B]

Well, you know how we met, Bob? I was literally. I was flying to whatever it was. And then I'm coming into Delta, and I see someone in this beautiful, like, colorful kaleidoscope, this, like, extravagant big duster coat. I was like, who is this person? I look up and I was like. And I. We had never met before, and I probably look like a crazy person. I read up. I was like. I was like, oh, my God, Oscar, I'm a huge fan of her. She was like, Monet.

[A]

I was like, oh, my God, that's who I am.

[B]

And then we kindred spirits connected, and we exchanged numbers. And then it's been. It's been her series since then.

[A]

I mean, yes, and that was lax. And I love that Delta line. I love that Delta priority at LAX.

[B]

100%, but yes.

[A]

Well, it's because Bob and I met in New York, and so, you know, people could guess LA, NY all day. But when there's fashion going on, people guess New York.

[C]

This is true 100%. When there's fashion, you have a New York vibe. You have the vibe of a New Yorker, you know? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[A]

I feel like that's why. Yeah, I would guess y' all are New York, too. LA's, you know, workout clothes, workout clothes, workout clothes all day in the streets.

[C]

I do think that you are one of those people who could be like a. You could pull an Adele, right? So, like, Adele says that when she doesn't want to be noticed, she will literally just wear bright colors and a hat and no one will know who she is. She's like, I just walk the streets. I just. Because she always. She only. She only wears black on stage. She only wears black. So if she just wears, like, a bright color.

[A]

You mean the bandungs the best, you

[C]

know, besides the bed.

[A]

When you say she wears black on stage. When you say, oh, you. That was her in the. That was her in the streets. She only wears black in the streets. On stage. Yeah.

[C]

She's wearing black culture in the streets.

[A]

Oh, my God. That's the streets.

[B]

That's the streets.

[C]

I love if you dress all black and put on a blonde wig, I really think that you could. I genuinely think that you could go on stage at your own show and people would be like, oh, this is the opener. Because you're so synonymous with your bowl cut and with your bright, festive fashion,

[B]

which, by the way, I love what you wore in your special. Those pants.

[C]

Whoa.

[B]

Was it a. Was it a skirt or were they pants? I couldn't tell, but they were Ferris.

[A]

It was a skirt. We put some wiring in it to look kind of like a. Like a flower petal, you know? Yeah.

[B]

Gorgeous. Very beautiful.

[C]

You put it in there yourself or someone. Or someone else did.

[A]

Do you make someone else.

[C]

Do you do any sewing?

[A]

No, I do not have. I do not have really skills at all. Besides. Yeah, I can dance a little bit. I just.

[C]

A little bit.

[B]

You killed that opening because you think, here's the thing. Akbar is one of those people. You could tell she's like, like the singer version. Like someone who, like. Oh, yeah. I don't really sing. Then it comes to karaoke, right?

[A]

Oh, I was dancing.

[B]

I feel like that. Cause you say you're not a dancer. You was busting it out at the beginning of the special. You are a dancer. You dance a lot.

[C]

When you do comedy, I'm gonna name some comedians and you tell me if you think you're a better Dancer than them.

[A]

Okay, well.

[C]

Okay, here we go. Do you think you'd be a better dancer than Chelsea Handler?

[A]

100%. We already know this. We've done this. We've tried dancing together.

[C]

Do you think you'd be a better dancer than Matteo Lane?

[A]

Yes, yes.

[B]

Okay, I see that.

[C]

Do you think you'd be a better dancer than Nicole Byer?

[A]

I. Well, with Paul, I don't know. We've. Yeah. I mean, she has those, that upper body strength now, so.

[C]

She does. And, and, and those legs. Yeah, and she has very strong legs.

[A]

Oh, yes.

[C]

Last one.

[B]

She posted a video the other day. She was in these, like, they look like 8 inch platform stilettos. I was like, she better work. I can't, I can't. My. At 35, the humble age of 35, my body cannot wear those kinds of shoes anymore.

[C]

Here's my last one. Do you think you'd be a better dancer than Bianca Del Rio?

[A]

Yes, yes, yes. But, you know, we're, we're comedians. We're not known for dancing, so I'm like, pretty good for dancing. I'm just afraid to be like, yes, I. And then there I am having to audition for, you know, Step up seven. You know what I mean?

[C]

I feel like you'd be a beautiful addition to Step up seven as part

[A]

of like an Asian dance crew that's like the antagonist or something. You know what I mean?

[C]

Right now. Let's go for Step it up seven.

[B]

Well, would you ever do like Dance with the Star situation?

[A]

Oh, I guess so. I don't really watch that show. Are you into that?

[B]

I'm not, but apparently it's still huge. I was telling somebody the other day, I was like, oh, yeah, season, whatever it is, it's, it's as big as it's ever been before. I'm like, really? I think I don't hear about it anymore. But it's.

[A]

So, yeah, I think I'm not big into like the foxtrot, you know what I mean? And things like that. Right. Like, and, you know, the ballroom. Yeah. But, yeah, I don't, I don't think so. That's so many weeks of your life. I mean, look at me trying to win already. That's so many weeks of your life that you're, you're missing for what, three months if you win.

[C]

Are you competitive? Are you competitive?

[A]

Not at all. I went to game night at Monet's and I was like, pretending. I was pretending that I was competitive, but I was like, I could lose right now and I would Be happy. I would be happy to just watch these people.

[C]

There was one game night at Monet's where this singer, this one of Monet's opera singer friends was. She was trying to lose the game and she ended up winning the game. Your opera singer friend, the one who was like. She was like, I think I'm a little high. And then she kept. She felt bad that she was the witch.

[B]

Oh, yes.

[C]

And she. Okay, I wasn't gonna spill her name, God damn it. And she felt bad that she was the witch and she was killing people. But then she kept. But then she was like, guys, I'm the witch. I feel bad. Please don't attack her. And everyone was like, no, it's the one you told us not to attack. And then this bitch won the fucking game. So I don't know if she was not competitive. I don't know if that was a brilliant strateg, but it was great.

[A]

I was going to guess that game that it's that, you know, one where you have to deceive.

[C]

Right.

[A]

Being aloof in that kind of game is a way to win.

[B]

Could you deceive?

[A]

No, I'm too honest. I will be like, I am. I did it, you know, with blood on my hands. I'd be like, yeah, that's what I

[B]

said about Bob is a liar and a deceiver. Bob is very good at these games because he's good at deception.

[A]

Yes, I know. An icon. How about you, Monet? Are you a truth teller?

[B]

I'm a truth teller, so in games like that, I tend to. What was that Reaction remix?

[C]

Are you making up history? We have entire clip we'll talk about after the break because that was. That was. You're trying to do it to Oscar, right? You know what? We'll be back. Osco, she's trying to spin you right now. See, Monet does the. She's trying to do the groundwork for the next time you come over to the next game night. She'll be like, oh, I'm gonna tell Osco that I am a really honest person. I never lie. I don't like to lie. Monet's doing the. The groundwork now. But I know how you play the game. I see how you play. And she don't. Monet is. Monet loves to lie. It is her favorite pastime.

[B]

That is not true.

[A]

Yeah, I haven't. I don't think I've seen that. When there's. Okay, next time, if there's money involved, maybe we'll all really show our true Selves. You have to up the game. You have to up the game.

[C]

Everyone needs to put. Everyone needs to put 40 bucks in. Everyone needs to put 40 bucks in.

[A]

Maybe a little more than that. Like, a little. A little where. A little more where we're all uncomfortable. A little uncomfortable about how much money we put in.

[C]

I would say that start. For me, that starts at $75. 75. And what $100 is like. I am now willing to hurt your feelings.

[B]

Oh, my God. That's actually.

[A]

Y'. All.

[B]

That's a good idea. Okay, so the next game night, we have to pick a game where there's a pot. And also, like, if we play.

[C]

Like, there was pot last time. That's why you're.

[B]

If we play. If we play secret Hitler, everyone playing puts in 100 bucks, right? We play secret Hitler. If the fascists win, they split the pot. Or whichever ones kind of like traders, whichever fascists are alive at the end, flew the pot. And if the liberals win, they flew the pot. That's such a good idea.

[C]

Just like you are talking about running an illegal gambling den. I just want to go ahead and put it out there.

[A]

No, it's a test. It's a test of who's going to be their true selves. Are we that sweet? Are me and Monet that truth tellers? You know what I mean? Is Bob actually a sweetie? And, you know, it's all a front.

[B]

You know, he is. It's a friend.

[C]

Talk about having a hard time making friends. Which in your. In your special. Which I find interesting because, like, you seem so lovable. You seem really approachable. You see, you seem like someone that people want to approach.

[B]

Hence me of running at. Running at you face forward at an airport. Like, oh, my God.

[A]

To probably too much of a people pleaser. A little bit, though. It's more like, you know, I'm hard on myself probably. Right? Right. Yeah.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Ye. Not everyone understands. Not that we care about Nashville, but I was there on, like, Halloween night. My show was on November 1st, and we were at this hotel. You know, everyone there is dressed like Elle Woods. Everyone. Everyone is Elle Woods. Hundreds of Elle Woods.

[C]

They weren't in costume. That was Nashville.

[A]

But they did try to have a chihuahua in their purse. At least. They did not Chihuahua. And they were all pink, right? And then I was stuck in an elevator with a bunch of them. They're all like, bachelorette party vibes. And one of them just goes, nice costume. And I go, oh, I'm not wearing a costume. And then she goes, oh, so you just look like this on a Thursday. And I was. And the whole elevator, I'm like, why is this elevator so slow right now?

[C]

What is your addressed? Ashley?

[A]

You see, you just spin. Every time I'm in Nashville, some weird comments like that. Just like, I don't know. I was like, they're just not used to the hair, my face. You know what I mean? What is it? Right? But of course, you're the one spiraling and just things like that. Things like that. Where, yeah, you know, it'll. It'll make me crumble.

[B]

But I think to your point, though, is it's the. Specifically in your session, we're talking about adult friends. Because I agree, as an adult, I mean, you do have certain gems, right? Like, I met you and Ryan. We become friends. But, like, I am at this age. I'm not trying to, Like, I know people who, as adults, actively be like, okay, I'm gonna go out tonight and make some friends. I'm like, no, bitch. I have. Like, if I meet someone, it happens organically, sure. But adults who set a mission to, like, go make friends, I'm like, that's it. I, I, I just, I, I don't have that in me. I have all the friends I want, and the new ones that happen organically, I welcome them.

[C]

I don't think I've ever set a goal to make friends, but I will set out to make friends with someone. Does that make any sense? Like, I feel like, like, for example, like this past year, or maybe a little more than a year, actually. I mean, my time, my timeline's fucked up, but, like, I was like, I want to hang out with Jasmine W. And Amber Wallen. Like, I want to be their friend. Like, I want to find out if we can be friends. So I wasn't, like, in the world.

[B]

Like, who.

[C]

Like, it's not like, it's not like hunting for deer. It's more like hunting for Moby Dick. Like, I don't want any. Well, I want that whale. Whereas I feel like hunting for deer. Like, any deer, any deer I see, I'm gonna shoot it. You know what I mean? Not to shoot my friends and hunt them.

[A]

And that's scary to have a goal, though, because they could also. They could not reciprocate. You know, I've had that word.

[C]

Oh, baby. I've sh. I've set out to make friends with people, and they were not into it at all. That's. But I would rather that than, I think I want to be your friend. We don't Want to be friends, and then I find out, like, I'm not into you, but you still want to be friends. I would rather be rejected than have to reject someone.

[A]

Oh, that's so hard. Yes.

[C]

How about you, Asuka? Would you rather reject someone or be rejected?

[A]

I would be rejected all day. I'm submissive. I am a people pleaser. I do not like conflict. I do not like telling someone, hey, it's because, like, you do talk all the time, you know, I don't. What? That's. And then what? Just, like. You know what I mean?

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

I mean, would you rather be rejected or reject Monet?

[B]

Well, but, Bob, you know me. It takes me years to stop doing things I don't want to do because I feel bad hurting someone's feelings.

[A]

Aw. Yeah.

[B]

I would do something to the bitter end. I'd be like. If I'm like. If I'm like, Monet, you have to be like, no, girl, it's fine. I'm working through a girl.

[C]

And I. I. Yeah, I. I get heartbroken having to reject someone, But I also feel like at this. For something, at this point in my life, I've learned to take rejection very well. And my therapist. Shout out Dr. Shelley, my first therapist, she was like. She was like, oh, you move on really quickly. And I was. I was like. I was like, I know, I'm dragging this out. She goes, no, you're not. She was like, you actually move on really quickly.

[A]

Wow.

[B]

You throw this because you won't get

[C]

out of my life, Monet. If you get out of my life, I will move on. You are reinfecting the wound.

[B]

Can I meet this Bob that moves on? Can I meet this person?

[C]

Meet my nuts, bitch, with your lips

[B]

dragging through the Bob that moves on hours ago. Bob and I are still hatching out fights that we had six years ago about things.

[C]

What's your part in this? I feel like you attract craziness. Something about you says, be crazy around me. Do crazy things near me. I was watching a clip of yours online, and someone. There was a breakup.

[A]

Right.

[C]

Right in the middle of your show. You really went into full therapy mode. Everyone was rooting against the girl. They were all rooting for the guy.

[A]

Like, what?

[C]

Can you explain this scenario for people who may have not seen this viral clip of yours?

[A]

Yeah, I'm always telling people to be their true selves, so it is my fault, but. And I do thrive in chaos. Yeah. I mean, they were in the front row of a show at the palace of Fine Arts in San Francisco, so I had to acknowledge it. They just get up. They're just like, fuck you, I'm leaving. You know, and it's like front row. So there was no way I could just ignore it. She got up, and he's like, oh, he got up too. And so she starts taking off. And so I had to acknowledge it. I was like, what's going on? Going on? You know, us. And the girl is the one leaving my show. And the guy's like, I'm staying. I was like, well, this is progress. Usually it's the girl that's my fan, you know, and. And yeah, it actually. So it's a little darker than, like, I showed in the clip. But he was. He was like, drunk, and he was kind of, like, excited. So he would shout out a lot during the show. And so she got. She got annoyed. She was trying to tell him, like, be quiet, you know, but, you know, I think from the clip, it looked like you. Whoever is the one leaving is the bitch, right?

[B]

Yeah, yeah.

[A]

But you have to investigate. You have to know what's really happening. And so he stayed, and then Ryan, you know, Ryan came in and, like, you know, grabbed. Grabbed him and was like, hey, you know, your lady's still out there. Let's go get her. Like it was the Karamo talk show or something. Like, what now? We're facilitating, you know, people getting back together.

[B]

I love that. That's gonna be my question. So how do y' all handle this? Like, sometimes I do shows and, like, there is someone, like, I'm on stage doing my thing. Everyone's having a good time, and you hear someone who was, like, reacting, like, so much more than other people, and they having, like, a little, like, talking. Then I try. I'm like, I don't wanna give it attention, but I also want. Cause I don't wanna read them. And then. So how do y' all handle that when someone is just too engaged?

[A]

Oh, right, Yes.

[C]

I mean, I. If someone is doing too much, I don't acknowledge them because they want the acknowledgment. And then it seems like it is a. It is a permission slip to keep interacting. And now they think we have a duo show.

[B]

Right.

[C]

So I just ice them out, and then eventually they get the point.

[B]

What do you.

[C]

What do you do, Asuka?

[A]

Well, sometimes they're like, attention, attention. So you really have to say something. Yeah, I mean, then I'll just acknowledge that. Like, I do say that. Oh, now. Well, now it's just a hang. And I'm trying to be nice. Too. Yeah, it's. It's a fine line, you know? Yeah, yeah. It's just, like, kind of reminding them, like, oh, you know. Oh, look around really quick. Oh, look around. Yeah, see, it's kind of more like a. It's a show. You know what I mean? Like, oh, you know, there's. There's more people here. Whatever it is, it depends on what they're saying. You know, it's hard when they're excited. It's hard when it's because they were stoked.

[B]

Yeah, they're generally excited. They really want to do that, but they're just laughing louder than everyone in the room, laughing longer than everyone else. I'm like, bitch, shut up.

[C]

Let me do my show. I think that we should introduce a Wario World version of Asuko to the world where you get to be mean, like, but. But it's not you. It's kind of like doing it. It's kind of like a ventriloquist. Like, Asuko's not mean. You know, Maybe this is. Maybe this. This is Abigail. I don't know who this is. You know what I mean? Maybe it's. Maybe it's Otsuko Skos. I'm trying to say her name backwards. Otsuko Sko. Oscar Watts, whoever it is, you have this. Wario Watsco.

[A]

Yes, Watsco.

[B]

I like Watsco.

[C]

Watsco wears black eye. So, like, let's say there's a moment happening in the show, and you. And you're over it. You just go, I'm sorry. You take out your black eyeliner, you put on black lipstick, and then you clip the bangs back. And now Watsco's here, and she is ripping people to shreds.

[A]

Clipping bangs back.

[C]

She's reading people. People down, letting people have it. And then once the threat has been neutralized, you unclip the bangs, you wipe off the eyeliner, you put back on some orange or red or, you know, pink lipstick, and then you just go, all right, so where was I? Oh, yeah. I like to stand in every corner of my apartment.

[A]

Oh, my God, I do. I love that. That would be very freeing. But clipping the bangs back, Ooh, that's terrifying. Showing my forehead. I don't have one, so can we.

[C]

Okay, listen, can. Okay, you don't have to do this. I want you to know that you're in a space where you can always say, no, this is a safe space, but we could have a sibling rivalry exclusive where we could find out if you do have eyebrows. I don't have them so you're in safe space. Could we get an eyebrow sneak peek? If there are eyebrows, you don't have to look back. Just a little up.

[A]

Oh, please. No, I am happy to show you. Okay. And what if there's a third eye? There's a third eye. It's blinking. It's blinking. I'm happy. This is why I haven't shown anyone. Okay. There's a. There's a little baby. There's a little baby I've been hiding. Okay. Okay, Ready? My. My forehead is very short. Wait, wait. Before you show.

[C]

Before we show me before you show. Monet, we want to. Want to talk. Let's. What do we think we're gonna see? I think. I think they are. There are eyebrows there.

[A]

That's very sweet. Okay.

[C]

And I feel like they're thick. Like, thick Eugene Levy.

[A]

Ooh, yes. I would say that.

[C]

What do you think we're gonna see, Monet?

[B]

I think this. Call me crazy. I think we're gonna see flesh and skin under there.

[C]

Describe the eyebrows, bitch.

[B]

I think Atsuko's eyebrows. I want to say. Not Eugene. Eugene Levy is crazy. That girl. Those are. Those are once a century kind of eyebrows. There's no way Oscar has Luigi Levia's eyebrows out there. That's crazy. I'm gonna say they're. They're nicely manicured, not overly bushy, but like a nice. Like. Like a nice. Think of, like, 2012 eyebrow. Like, not the. Like. Not like the crazy thick makeup bras, but the nice, like, thin. Like Gottmiki.

[C]

Because you wouldn't have to. You would never have to get your eyebrows done because you don't really show them.

[A]

Exactly. Yeah. So that's very nice. You said manicured. You know, because sometimes I forget. I scream when. When. When it's windy, when the Santa Ana winds. When the Santa Ana winds are going. I do not leave the house because I'm like, oh, man, this is too vulnerable.

[C]

Well, we'll see the eyebrows after this break.

[B]

And we are back. Okay.

[C]

An exclusive.

[B]

Anyone's ever seen this? Ryan, come in the room. Ryan, you want to see?

[A]

He's hiding. He's frightened right now. I think I heard him lock the door, actually.

[C]

And I know YouTube is gagging because the video just got.

[B]

Oh, yeah, YouTube. It cuts off of them. Yeah.

[C]

All right, let us see. Vince is. Is. Move that bus.

[A]

Damn it. Oh, I should have taken the. Whatever. I'll show you to you. Okay, ready?

[C]

We're taking the what?

[B]

The what?

[C]

Wait, what?

[A]

I should have taken the break to draw Something on my forehead, but whatever. Oh, man. Okay. Whatever.

[B]

This is so exciting.

[A]

I had no time. Okay. What? I don't know what I would draw. Just like some.

[C]

Are there stickers? Do you have stickers?

[A]

Stickers.

[C]

A poster that just says help me.

[A]

Just Tylenol. I'm sponsored. I'm sponsored by Tylenol.

[B]

All right, here we go.

[A]

Okay, here we go. Here we go. Okay. It's gonna be so underwhelming. It's so tiny, isn't it?

[C]

You look like a different. I don't even recognize you.

[A]

Who is she? I did used to do this in the mirror. Cause you know how this. When you do a middle part. That's leading lady, right? This is Jennifer Aniston. This is leading lady. Right. And then villain.

[C]

There it is.

[A]

Villain.

[C]

You're too sweet to be the villain. You're too sweet to be the villain. Oscar, you're way too fucking sweet to be the villain.

[A]

Okay, leading lady, art gallery owner.

[C]

There it is. Preschool teacher.

[A]

Wow.

[B]

We can exclusive work. That was brilliant. Love that.

[A]

Why was it paler than the rest of my body?

[C]

I have a theory. I have a theory.

[A]

Oh, my God. It's malnutrition.

[C]

So wait, so what were you studying in college?

[A]

I studied psychology for a little bit. Yeah.

[B]

Wow. Bob clearly doesn't listen to Monet talks when we talk about it on Monet talks. Thank you, Bob, because you're showing us you don't listen to my show.

[C]

This is true. I don't support Monet.

[A]

Wow.

[C]

And even though I love Asuko, I had to avoid because of the Monet stuff. I actually have Monet on mute for this whole thing. I just read her lips and assume what she's saying. But why? How much college did you finish before you were like, it's a wrap. I'm out of here.

[A]

It was, I think, a year and a half. A year and a half. Yeah, right. It was.

[C]

What made you decide to leave?

[A]

Well, I was driving there too. I was doing like an hour and a half commute, but also each way. Yeah, yeah. Because I didn't want to live on campus. I just. I don't know. I was living with a boyfriend at the time and it was Santa Clarita, so I'm insane. Who wants to live in Santa Clarita? Me. I mean, they have.

[B]

They have. They have the Six Flags up there. That's pretty nice.

[A]

Yeah. Right? And you just need. But you need to go once a year.

[B]

Yeah, yeah. Not every day.

[A]

I don't know. Are you a thrill seeker?

[B]

Where I like Thrills. I like. I like thrills. I like rides. I mean, I like a lot of thrills. I wouldn't jump. I wouldn't skydive. That's not for me. But thrills that are a little lower stakes. I'm into that one. Seems like a lot of stakes.

[C]

Can we catch the Cooper Monet jumping off a building?

[B]

Yeah, that's not. That's not. That's not jumping out of an airplane. And also, that one, you're connected to, like, 19 wires. The plane is just you attached to some motherfucker. You. You are. Your whole life is in the first as one hands.

[A]

I know. Remember when. I think it was like, George Bush Sr. Did that, and then he, like, skidded. Oh. Oh, my God.

[C]

This is Monet saying she's not a thrill seeker.

[A]

Sky tower.

[C]

Monet. Monet decided to vlog herself jumping off of a building.

[A]

Good, because it's once in a lifetime. Oh, it's so terr.

[B]

It was an awful New Zealand. It was so fun. Oh, my God, that wig. You know, what can I tell you all about that? So I went up there. I was like, you know, I have a plan. I was like, I'm gonna go in full drag. And I wore. I was just off of All Stars 4. So I was like, oh. When I did the double kitty cat reveal, I said, okay, I'm gonna wear two wigs. What I'm gonna do is I'm gonna reveal it as I'm falling off. As soon as I leapt off that building, every thought I ever had in my mind evaporated. I couldn't find the fucking gumption to do with my wig review.

[A]

Did you do the reveal? You land and then you do it. Is that. I mean, one hand is on the GoPro, the other hand is just holding your heart. Right?

[B]

I mean, what can you.

[A]

You can't. You can't. Yeah.

[B]

Would either of y' all do that? Jump off a sky tower?

[C]

No.

[A]

Never. Never. I. Yeah.

[C]

Wow. I don't even go in the. I don't even. I don't. I refuse to go into the ocean.

[B]

That's good to know.

[A]

Same.

[B]

What?

[A]

I just learned how to swim. I am like a new swimmer.

[C]

Wow. I will not set one foot in the ocean. I will go to the beach, but I don't fuck with the ocean. Only I'll be on the ocean. Is on a gigantic ship a hundred feet off the surface of the water. I am. I don't seek any thrills. I don't want to drive fast.

[B]

I don't want you Get a roller coaster is. That's thrill. That's a thrill.

[C]

A roller coaster's safer than your car. Like, a roller coaster is like, ooh. This is like a. There's a difference between an adrenaline rush and thrill seeking.

[B]

I think a roller coaster is. A thrill is. They're literally called thrill rides.

[C]

A roller coaster is called a thrill ride. Yes.

[B]

Are you.

[C]

Are you just making up more things again? Are you starting the Wikipedia page right now?

[B]

Thrill rides at Disneyland and there's a bunch of roller coasters. Thrill rides at Universal. A bunch of roller coasters. They're called thrill rides.

[C]

Again, for me, for me. Anyway, it's more of an adrenaline rush than a, like, for example, watching a scary movie. I'm not an actual. I'm not. There's no actual thrill. Even the movie called a thriller. I'm in no danger. Thrill seekers are doing stuff like jumping from building to building type rope walking, mountain climbing, running with the bulls. Where there's an actual danger. I don't want any thrills where there's actual danger.

[B]

Thrilling does not mean danger. Thrilling just means exciting. That's what it is.

[C]

I don't want any danger.

[B]

It's not dangerous. Excitement.

[A]

Didn't you swim by sharks? Too monetary or like.

[C]

Oh, my God.

[B]

Yeah, yeah, I went scuba diving. There were, there were some. There were some, some, some, some nurse sharks and reef sharks.

[A]

And it was just you, like, nearby. You didn't have like, you know, I don't know what is, like, what is it? You're in a cage or something?

[B]

No, no cage, but nurse sharks and reef sharks. They're like maybe like three feet. Three to three to six feet. And they don't, they don't. They don't eat humans. They don't. They don't. They eat other fish.

[C]

Bite. You don't have to be eaten. You can be bitten. They don't bite humans either, but that makes them not dangerous. There are no.

[A]

There are.

[B]

I'll give you to the end of the year to find there are no reporting of nurse sharks or reef sharks biting humans. They bite and eat other fish. They don't bite humans.

[C]

They're called nerd sharks.

[A]

Neuro. Neuro. No.

[B]

Nurse. Nurse.

[A]

When it comes to maybe danger, I am more like Bob. And then when it comes to maybe like just, I don't know, spirit or something, I'm more like Monet. But yeah, I saw you swimming in the ocean deep and I was like, whoa. I mean, that's bottom feeders right there, probably. Where? Yeah, yeah, I, you know, I Did, like, Bob around at the. Like, near the shore once, you know, but I was screaming every time the waves were coming.

[B]

Wait, so when y' all went to Disneyland. Disneyland. Disneyland. Did y'. All. Did you get on Tower Terror? The Guardians of the Galaxy?

[A]

Yes. But I kept. Like. They were like, before we started, I kept asking to get off. By the way, your. Your boyfriend? That's the real seeker. Yeah, he is everything. He was like, yes, yes, yes. Every time they would shut the doors, they shut the doors on you. You're in, like, an elevator. It's frightening.

[B]

I love that.

[A]

Traumas in elevators from Nashville.

[C]

Well, the south is scarier than going. Going to. The south is scarier than going to Six flags. It is 100%.

[A]

They shut the doors, and I said, excuse me. Excuse me. Can we. I would like to get off. I said that four times. And then I felt bad. I was holding everyone up in the R. So I was like, fine, I'll do it. And. Yeah, so that was the. That's the scariest ride.

[B]

Incredibles. To do this for company.

[C]

Otsuko. Because I'm really not the type of person who'd ever be petty, because I would never, ever do that. But anyway, Business Insider has an article. It's really quite stunning. It's that a model was bitten by a shark. By a nurse. By shark. While on vacation in the Bahamas and now says she is facing the sexist backlash. She was bitten by a nurse shark.

[B]

I said a reed shark.

[C]

You said nurse sharks and reed sharks. Anyway, it took me less than three minutes to find that. Dang.

[A]

Dang. So it's like this. So is there always. Bob always has a laptop out for when y' all are hanging out.

[C]

Oh, I Google everything. When you have friends like this, you have to fact check. When you have friends like. Like that one. One over. Over next to you, you have to fact check.

[B]

Wrong side. I say this every time. I'm always to your left.

[C]

No.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

But you're into science, right? Like, so Monet's into. I feel like you're. You're. You know, you're. Yeah, well, Bob.

[B]

Bob, famous on this podcast, want to. Wanted to abolish libraries, which I believe in libraries. Bob doesn't like libraries, and Monet wanted

[C]

to abolish antibiotics, so I guess we all got crazy things. We do, huh?

[B]

Well, you know, we all. You know, it was the thing where before I had health insurance and the doctors at GO were just trying to. Were just trying to scam me for more money. I'm like, if my. If I feel better. Why do I need to finish the antibiotics? I can just save it for the next time I'm sick. That's what my. I mean, my brain. That made sense.

[A]

Sure, right. Stretching it out. Because. Because medicine has failed us.

[B]

Exactly. You know, and, and, and, and I

[C]

do want to repeat on this podcast, it is very important. If you are prescribed antibiotics, finish the entire round of antibiotics prescribed to you. You do not stop your antibiotics. Once your symptoms go away, you will be.

[A]

You.

[B]

You.

[C]

You could be creating a super bug or even a tolerance against antibiotics. That being said, you are a model. You're not just a comedian. You are a full fledged model. You are a stunning, stunning woman. You did. You did this vanity photo shoot, like this Vanity Fair shoot. Tell me about that experience.

[A]

Oh, my gosh. It was the first time they put me in wires and had me flying in the air. Me as a non thrill seeker. I was like, how long? They were like, you're a football player. You are flying in the air. You are catching. That was the first time I ever held a football.

[C]

I said, that's hilarious.

[A]

I kept dropping it. They were like, can you please? They were like, you are the. What is it? The quarterback. So I said, okay. And so I held the ball and I kept pointing. They. They had football players. They hired football players to, like, be in the shoot too. And so they were like, you are the quarterback. Pose like it. So I held the ball and I kept pointing at the football players. Like I was about to throw it at them and they had. They had to be like, stop, stop. Please stop. Quarterbacks don't do that. They don't point. And I was like. I said, why not? Why. Why wouldn't you point at the person you're about to throw it to? They were like, because it gives it away. I was like, I don't know what. You have me doing something that's not of my interest, playing football, you know, but I was in these, like, beautiful dresses in the air. Yeah, that. That was cool. I felt like I was in, like, Crouching Tiger, you know?

[C]

I'm so goofy because I thought you were. I literally thought you were jumping.

[B]

I did not know you. I was like, girl, you got hops. That is high.

[A]

Oh, incredible. Yes. Yeah. Yeah, that's so that was all wires. That was all wires. I probably get 2 inches off the floor on my own.

[C]

Are you athletic at all?

[A]

I guess the dance, like, you know, because I did dance, like, as a kid and stuff. Like the former. Yeah, a little bit. Because of dance.

[C]

The truth comes Out. Oh, I can't dance. Now we find out that Asuko has a full on eight years. Tap, jazz, ballet, lyrical, and hip hop modern.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

She's like, yeah, well, when. Well, when I was at Juilliard for dance, that's when I realized that's when

[A]

I dropped psychology was to.

[B]

Well, also this photo shoot. This photo shoot looks like something out of like Top Model. Remember, like when Top Model would do Tyra Banks would have them do like, again, as a model you'll have to sell milk to. As a basketball player playing football and you're like, it's giving Top Model photo. Like, Tyra is off screen. Jay Manuel is there telling you, hire Atsuka. Hire. Yes.

[A]

That's. That's. That's what I felt like. Yes. But it was a man. It was a man being. Being like quarterback. You quarterback. Okay, okay, okay.

[C]

Well, I love that. I don't know much about football, but I. I love that you keep saying I was holding the ball. I don't know why. Why a quarterback would hold the ball like a loaf of bread.

[A]

What are you holding? Is that. Oh, your tissue box, I think.

[C]

I think it's like this.

[A]

Oh, wow. Unnatural. She's a natural.

[C]

Because this. They're not pointing, but this gives you leverage to. To throw the ball.

[B]

Got it.

[A]

Oh, okay. Athletes that. And the truth comes out here. And the truth comes out here. Excuse me, former shot put.

[C]

Here comes a walko.

[A]

I'm like, I'm so sorry. What? Oh, wow. Varsity football.

[C]

Imagine. I was expecting the drama club.

[B]

Honey, there should have been varsity drama club. That would have been cool.

[A]

So, yeah, then real bullies would come out. Oh, you're just jv.

[B]

I know. Oh, my God. Like, drama people need any more reason to be pretentious and annoying. The drama kids in my school were the most annoying. They always. They were all sleeping with each other. They were all so rude.

[A]

Ugh.

[B]

The drama kids were the worst.

[C]

Oh, I'm sure the singing department was great. I'm sure the singers were lovely.

[B]

The singers were amazing. No drama. We all cause singers. We care about community. Like, we care about fostering community and love with each other. That's what we like, you know?

[A]

Mm. I did kind of half and half. I did theater the last year, and then we kind of worked together with, like, the choir a little bit because. Yeah.

[C]

So what is your. What is your issue with emojis? Why can you not decipher emojis?

[A]

I throw a lot around too, because I don't have time to be, like, witty in Text. You know when people are really witty and funny? I'm like, oh, my God, that must have taken 10 minutes. I just want to let you know where to meet. I just want to let you know this is the restaurant we're meeting at, but you know what I mean.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

I do want to impress, and so I put emojis so people know that, like, you know, hey, this is meant to be nice. Okay.

[B]

And.

[A]

Or, you know, I'm sending you love, and so I just use for over and over. Honestly, it's, I guess the hug emoji, the one that I was trying to just be nice with.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

And then the heart and then, like, heart face.

[B]

Yeah, I don't use that.

[C]

Eyes, you mean?

[A]

And then there's one where there's hearts all over your face like someone just kissed you.

[B]

Yeah, I mean, I, I, I, I, I'll use a, A group. I love you putting an emoji in a group text. First of all, I don't, I, I don't love a group text, and I hate when someone in a group text text. This is not, this is not to shade Android people. I'm just saying when someone in a group text is with an Android device, you can't leave because group text with only, only. Only when it's all Apple people, you can, like, leave the conversation when it's. When. When there's just one viral Android person in it. You were locked into this group text until people just stop texting.

[A]

Oh, wait, Ryan's unlocking the door right now. He's coming back out.

[B]

He's gonna fight.

[A]

No, he's an Android person. And at Disneyland. At Disneyland, it was.

[C]

I got my picture. And also to be clear, I'm with pixel, too.

[A]

Oh, wow.

[C]

And to be clear, us with pixels, we can leave. I can leave. And you're trapped in the group text that I created.

[A]

Oh, my God. I should have known everything when you were saying that, that it was pointed

[C]

at Bob, it was Oscar. If there's ever a shade, if it's mean, if it's nasty, if it's rude, if it's distasteful, if it's bullying, it's directed at me. If it's coming from macaroni x cheese, it's directed at me. My favorite emoji is this one. I cannot sleep.

[B]

Wait, you're frozen. I can't see it.

[C]

It.

[A]

Oh, show us. Yes.

[C]

This is my favorite emoji. That's my fave. I love that.

[A]

I'll show you what he just did.

[B]

Oh, that one.

[A]

You can't do it right.

[C]

I love that. I love that. Can you describe it for our audio only listeners?

[B]

So thank you, Jacob.

[C]

So you all can do this at home. Close one of your eyes, stick your tongue out and kind of smile, but your tongue's a little to the side. That's the way. And it's like, in my mind, the sound that goes at emoji is da. I was just playing.

[B]

Really?

[A]

Yes.

[B]

No, that one. I can see with emojis, context matters. Often if you send that after, like, maybe with someone you've hooked up with or someone you want to hook up with that has a really. You're not telling them. Ah, now you're telling them, like, hey, like, I think context matters.

[C]

With all the money, I wouldn't send that to someone I just hooked up

[A]

up with because they might get confused.

[B]

It's fun and flirty.

[A]

Yeah. Yeah. I don't. Yeah, I guess it is fun and flirty. Yeah. For me, so much is, like, connected to food. I don't know why. That one's like. That was tasty. What? I don't. I must read. I must tasty.

[C]

You're hungry.

[A]

I'm. I'm.

[C]

Yeah, I'm usually starving.

[A]

Always starving. I like the other one that's like, more wacky. It's also tongue out, but the I's are crossed like.

[B]

Oh, yeah, yeah.

[C]

Look, I'm going to give it a shot.

[A]

The head is tilted and the head is tilted.

[C]

Can I cross my.

[A]

Yeah, that one. Oh, my God.

[B]

Yeah, I do. I do. Like. I like that one, too. So we have a game that we want to play with you, Oto. And Jacob, our producer, has prepared it where he's going to give us emojis and we're going to decipher them. Jacob.

[A]

Yeah. So I have some obscure emojis.

[C]

You're just going to talk about them, what we think this means and what situation you would use this in.

[A]

Ooh, nice. Fun.

[C]

So listeners at home, this is a woman with. It could be a bob, it could be longer hair, but it's a white lady with her. She could be his. She could also be Hispanic. She might be Puerto Rican, and she's wearing a purple sweater. And she has her hands over her head. Like her arms are around her head and they're over her head, like, slightly overlapping asco. What are we looking at? What am I telling you? So just to be clear, I just left your house. We had a wonderful evening. We had pizza, we ordered out, and I just send you just this emoji. What am I trying to communicate?

[B]

I know exactly what it's. I. I know exactly what it's saying, but.

[C]

You game for.

[B]

Yeah, I know. Go.

[A]

I. I have no idea. I. Is she saying that everything was perfect? So her entire body is saying, yeah. Yes. She's circling the night.

[C]

There we go. Monet, what do you think's happening here?

[B]

Okay, so if we're just out. I was at your house, had a lovely dinner. I left home. I said, okay, I'll. Each time I get home, when I send this, that means I got home. I'm home for real.

[C]

It's a house.

[B]

I'm home.

[A]

It's a house.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

I'm in my house.

[A]

Her arms are not long enough to do that.

[C]

We're not body shaming.

[A]

No, I know. I know. But they drew her, so why not give a little more arm? I know that's a house. Yeah, Home, right? You know, I.

[C]

Okay, so try that one out. Monet, can you give us the next scenario for this next emoji, please?

[B]

Okay, Next emoji. Okay.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

This. Okay. So we were all. We all just went out. We had, like, a nice birthday out at a nice birthday party at someone's birthday. We went to Dave and Buster's for the evening, and then we're at the table, and we're ordering food, and then a shady friend came, and Bob texts to you. What is Bob saying to you?

[A]

Okay, should I describe this for the listener?

[B]

Oh, yes, yes, yes.

[A]

So this is what I think is a Chinese man, because he has a. That's a Chinese hat.

[C]

That is Asuko's voice to say, oh, no, that's not Bob. That was.

[A]

Oh, yes. No, this is me describing my people, but I think that's a Chinese man with a Chinese hat from, like, you know, back in the day, like, Emperor Dynasty. And so. But that's what I'm seeing again. I'm not really good at inter. I'm. I've never been good at Pictionary.

[C]

You nailed that. We're at dinner, and I'm letting you know he's very sensitive about his heritage. He does not want to be called and do not ask him. I'm just letting you know. He really wants people to know that he is Chinese. So, Asuko, you actually nailed that. That is exactly what I was trying to communicate. Thank you so much there.

[A]

Oh, my God. And to all the people out there who are Chinese and sensitive about it, get over it.

[C]

Okay, Rob Watts goes back here.

[B]

Comes to go Watch the go.

[A]

Hey, we accept you all Right. So that's why. Yeah. Oh, my God, These get harder.

[C]

So this is. This is. What is. This is what has just happened. Okay.

[B]

This is y'. All the yellow emoji with the smoke or bubbles around it. Yeah.

[C]

Well, so you have just. You. We're in college now. Okay. We are in college. And you. I asked you, do you want to come over? You say, well, who's all there? I say, it's just me and Jacob. And you say, what are y' all doing? I send this emoji.

[A]

Oh, my God. You know, I didn't finish college, so same. This is already cloudy. High five.

[C]

So this is.

[A]

Hmm. Okay. I said, who else is there? And you send this.

[C]

I say, jacob, and you say, what

[B]

are y' all doing?

[C]

And I send this emoji.

[A]

What are y' all doing? Yeah, this is really. Oh, maybe you're both. You have a. You both have a cold. And so you've turned on. So the humidifier is on. It's cloudy. It's cloudy in there. And so that's. What you're doing is just some self care.

[C]

That is literally exactly it. Yes. Jacob and I have turned on the vaporizer. We have put tea tree oil in the humidifier. You are literally nailing these. We have one more. That we have one more.

[A]

I can't believe, Mon.

[C]

What's the scenario?

[B]

Okay, okay, okay. So again, we're at another. Out for another birthday party outing. And then we. This time we went to an. We went to the Golden Corral the. Of an all you can eat. We ate all, all, all, all, all the food. And then. And then Bob goes to the bathroom and text us to the group chat. What is he trying to say to him?

[C]

You all know this is the emoji where he. He low key, looks half baked. His eyebrows and his eyes are all kind of facing down. His mouth is smiling. There's drool. Two driblets of drool, one significantly larger than the other one dripping out of the side of his mouth. And it's not a face. It's not like the face like a human face. It's the circle. Like a. Like the Walmart guy from the early 2000s.

[B]

Oh, my God, the Walmart guy.

[A]

Mm. What is Bob trying to say from the bathroom? I feel like he's saying, y', all, there's a better snack in here. I found one. I found him.

[C]

He's.

[A]

Get over here.

[B]

Honestly, you nailed it. That is Bob behavior.

[C]

You're not bad at deciphering emojis. You're literally perfect. You Figured almost all of them out. Yes, I am having a snack in the bathroom. It was not out of character for me.

[A]

Me.

[B]

It's not at all. Bob done found a twink in the bathroom and he's having his second dinner.

[A]

Oh, my God. But to tell. But to tell all the friends. But to tell everyone. Get over here.

[C]

Yeah. You just got back from Europe. Do you have any other. Any other tour days coming up? Where can people see you? You are so funny. You're so stylish. You are so charming. You're so fucking sweet. Where can people come. Where can someone come and break up with their girlfriend in the front row of your show now?

[A]

Oh, my God. Well, that's Bay Area behavior, so that's in the Bay. Well, yeah, I'm just, you know, on Otsuko. Comedy.com is where all my dates are. My fall tour, I'll be announcing very soon, so. Yes.

[C]

Exciting.

[B]

And your new special father debuts on. Congratulations, Hulu. HBO. Hulu. Your new special father debuts on June 13th on Hulu. Big, big, big congrats, girl. That's so fucking freaking.

[A]

Thank you so much. Y' all are the sweetest. No matter what anyone says and no

[C]

matter what we say about each other,

[B]

each other, about each other.

[A]

And thank you for having me on this dynamic duo.

[B]

Also, your crystal is debuting during Pride. Rightfully so. We love you.

[A]

Oh, my God. I told. Here's the thing really quick. Mateo's is this month with Hulu, right? May. And I was telling Bob that because Mateo, I guess Matteo, shot first. So he was like, I'll go May. And then so Hulu was like, you got June. And I was like, doesn't that makes more sense that I go during Asia Month and Mateo get Pride Month? And I think they said. They said, well, you know, Mateo said he's more than just gay. And I was like, well, yeah. Yes, but. Yes. And I'm more than Asian. Yeah. But I'm not gonna. We tell the press that. You know what I mean? All Pride Month, it's going to be about the parades, commercials, all the sponsors. It's all pride, pride, pride. And then I'm just going to be like, hey, watch me. Watch me.

[C]

Well, you got these two queens over here who will be telling people to go watch your stuff. I'll tell people.

[B]

I am.

[C]

I am. I am more than black and gay, but I am mostly black and gay. I'm mostly. That's. That's. That's most of the whole thing, to be honest. That's. That's like 70% of what this is, you know?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Yeah. But you know what? We are happy to, you know, accommodate. We love our honorary Asian Mateo. Yes.

[B]

Amen. Amen. Osco, thank you for. Thank you for coming on by the podcast. This is such a fun episode. We love you so much.

[A]

Oh, my gosh. Thank you for having me.

[C]

Y' all be sure. June 13th. Check out Father on Hulu and go to Osco's social media to check out when the fall tour will be happening. And we love you all. We'll see you all soon.

[A]

Yeah.