The One About Broadway

Summary

Sibling Rivalry – “The One About Broadway”

Date: November 18, 2024
Hosts: Bob the Drag Queen & Monét X Change

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Episode Overview

In this lively and candid episode, Bob and Monét catch up on their whirlwind schedules, dish on Broadway culture, and get delightfully sidetracked by drag names, pop references, and even... subdermal penis implants. As always, their hilarious chemistry shines through, blending comedy, genuine insights, and moments of irreverent honesty, appealing to Broadway lovers and Sibling Rivalry fans alike.

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Main Discussion Themes & Highlights

1. The Scheduling Snafu & Catching Up

[01:11–04:32]

• Bob invites Monét to his studio (which is mere minutes from Monét’s house); Monét hilariously defends her busy, project-managed home life including costume fittings and quality time with Andy.

• Quote:
  “Sir, I’m going to—No, I’m doing it all at my home.” – Monét [02:17]

• Good-natured banter about priorities, mutual FOMO, and who’s really too busy for whom.

• Memorable Moment:
  “Bob just texted me. Kevin, this job is not more important than our relationship.” – Monét [03:55]

• Discussion of the “Wicked” premiere, with Bob detailing her glammed-up experience.

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2. The Broadway (and Theater) Queen Discourse

[06:14–09:48]

• Comparison of long-running Broadway shows—Taylor Swift's Era’s Tour vs. “Phantom of the Opera.”

• Monét confesses she’s not a “Phantom” fan:
  “I did not like da Phantom. It’s one of the first Broadway shows I saw and I did not like. I don’t get it. It’s not for me.” – Monét [06:57]

• Bob’s critique of self-proclaimed theater superfans who rarely actually see live productions.

• Both discuss the expense and inaccessibility of Broadway, but encourage local and touring theater as alternatives.

• Bob estimates seeing 4-6 musicals per year, recounting his experience at “A Strange Loop.”

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3. Behind the Scenes: Drag Culture Meets Broadway

[15:21–16:27]

• Drag names inspired by musical theater: “Meringue Pie,” “Serenade,” “Belta Ballot.”
• Reflecting on naming conventions and the penchant for rhyming names among Black Southern twins, segueing into a playful debate about gendering drag names.

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4. Social Media Deep Dives & Digital Footprints

[18:51–21:40]

• Riffing on their history with platforms such as TikTok and Facebook.
• Debate over digital legacies, privacy, and the generational change of documentation.
• Monét recalls her old Facebook persona, “Kevin Requiem.”

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5. From Chips to Subdermal Implants: A Hilariously NSFW Detour

[22:09–26:04]

• A tangent into subdermal body modifications, including RFID chips and... penis implants.

• Inquisitive banter about the safety, function, and actual appeal of such implants.

• Quote:
  “No, I’m not sucking a pierced dick. What if something comes unscrewed. Now I got a quarter pound of metal in my stomach.” – Bob [22:31]

• Monét describes being “presented with” a penis with a subdermal heart shape:
  “At first I was like, what am I looking at here?” – Monét [23:38]

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6. Sleep Habits, Oddities, and Roommate Memories

[27:02–30:39]

• An unexpectedly deep discussion about nocturnal erections, sleeping positions, and the etiquette of being in each other’s beds.
• Memorable Visual:
  “Bob gets tucked in…like he’s in preschool about to take his nap.” – Monét [29:57]

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7. Broadway Fandom: Wicked, Wicked, and More Wicked

[33:04–35:13]

• Bob shares the joy of taking Jacob to see “Wicked,” and their intense connection to the musical.
• “You could probably stop Wicked at any point in the album, and I could probably tell you what the next lyrics are.” – Bob [34:53]
• Monét, the Broadway outsider, confesses to never having seen “Wicked.”

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8. Broadway Drama—Nicole Scherzinger, Freedom of Speech, and Fan Outrage

[43:26–45:41]

• Recap of ongoing controversy around Nicole Scherzinger's “Sunset Boulevard” run and social media activity.
• Dissection of the limits of free speech in the digital age.
• Quote:
  “Talent’s not enough. Talent’s not enough.” – Bob [44:56]

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9. Disney Musicals Power Ranking

[46:05–47:00]

• Bob lays out her top 5 Disney musical films:
  1. Lion King
  2. Little Mermaid
  3. Aladdin
  4. Beauty & The Beast
  5. Frozen (with honorable mention to “The Aristocats”)

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10. Childhood Nostalgia: VHS Favorites

[48:06–49:52]

• Monét’s top VHS childhood films: “Harriet the Spy,” “Home Alone 2,” “The Aristocats.”
• The emotional resonance of “Harriet the Spy,” especially across cultural and racial backgrounds.
• Quote:
  “When I saw white people having such tender emotions with each other, I was like, wow, this is so cool.” – Monét [50:42]

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11. Sibling Shenanigans & Corporate America

[52:39–55:08]

• Enthusiastic breakdown of a TikTok/Instagram influencer who roasts workplace managers on employees’ behalf.
• Bob and Monét reminisce about their wildest jobs, dream up which workplaces they’d want roasted, and recall the most “crooked” place they ever worked.

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Notable Quotes & Moments with Timestamps

• “I said, no, Monet, stop trying to convince me.” – Bob [22:48]
• “If you don't want about me, I will fuck you up on site.” – Monét [01:06, running joke]
• “Bob gets tucked in…like he’s in preschool about to take his nap.” – Monét [29:57]
• “You do not have freedom of consequences. Yes, you can say anything you want… But people are also free to say, you ruined this experience for me.” – Bob [45:20]
• “Lion King number one.” – Bob [46:13]
• “When I saw white people having such tender emotions… I was like, wow, this is so cool.” – Monét [50:42]

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Tone & Takeaways

• Language & Tone: True to form—irreverent, quick-witted, and deeply personal, with no topic off-limits.
• Energy: Energetic and tangential; quick transitions from drama, to pop culture, to very adult humor, and honest discussions of relationships and identity.
• Usability: Especially engaging to fans of drag, Broadway, and LGBTQ+ culture, as well as listeners wanting candid conversations about pop culture and personal histories.

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Key Timestamps by Topic

| Time | Segment | |-----------|----------------------------------------------| | 01:11 | Scheduling & emotional text drama | | 04:32 | “Wicked” premiere and outfit shout-outs | | 06:14 | Broadway longevity; Phantom vs. Hamilton | | 09:48 | Theater fandom authenticity | | 15:21 | Drag/theater name creation fun | | 18:51 | Digital footprints – TikTok/Facebook | | 22:09 | Subdermal implants/NSFW banter | | 27:02 | Sleep habits and sharing beds | | 33:04 | “Wicked” fandom & Broadway enthusiasm | | 43:26 | Nicole Scherzinger & online controversy | | 46:05 | Favorite Disney musicals | | 48:06 | Childhood VHS nostalgia | | 52:39 | Workplace pranks & employment history | | 55:08 | Closing out, city hookups, and gig plugs |

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Sibling Rivalry’s “The One About Broadway” delivers what the fans expect: an unfiltered, wildly entertaining, and sneakily insightful ride through friendship, pop culture, and performance—all with that signature Bob and Monét humor.

Transcript

[A]

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[B]

my name is Bob the Drag Queen

[A]

and I'm Monet x James. And this is Sibling rivalry. On today's episode, we do some deep journalism about subdermal penis piercings.

[B]

We talk about broad words and we

[A]

find out what made Bob say this.

[B]

I said, no, Monet, stop trying to convince me. And we found out what made Monet say this.

[A]

If you don't want about me, I will fuck you up on site.

[B]

What's on your agenda today? I invited Monet to my studio and she's too busy. By the way, my studio is three minutes from Monet's house.

[A]

Yeah. And I'm very busy today. I land today. I have people here. I have construction going on. I have some stuff I have to project manage here at my home.

[B]

You're doing the construction? You're like nailing stuff too?

[A]

No, but I am approving things and being like, yeah, put this here the hour doing this podcast.

[B]

Why don't you approve a bunch of it beforehand, then spend 10 minutes?

[A]

Because I can't because I'm anal and I want. Because when.

[B]

When is like a 10 minute? Like, okay, you can. They'll lay out their proposals. All I need is 10 minutes. I need 30 minutes down.

[A]

Three minutes.

[B]

Listen to me. I'm not done with my pitch. Three minutes of your time to get here, 10 minutes of your time here, three minutes back. That's 16 minutes.

[A]

I'm not interested in that. I want to be here while it's all getting done.

[B]

You're not going to give me 16

[A]

minutes and then after that, Godoy's coming over here. I spent an hour and a half with Godoy. He's doing a body mold of me and then do it here. What? No. He's coming at my home and doing it while you're coming here. He's coming here so I can do it while they're doing it, so I can be like, hey, actually, this. Okay, good Dory. Back to what we're doing then. You're always doing your measurements for me. Then I'm doing a fitting with someone named Sergio who's making me this really dope costume.

[B]

You can also do that here too, if you want.

[A]

Sir, I'm going to. No, I'm doing it all at my home.

[B]

Bitch, I'm offering it to you. There's ample space here at the studio.

[A]

Yeah, but I don't want to go to. I want to do it here because that's taking me away from being here at home. And it's like a meeting at 2, at 3 o', clock, and then once after that, and then Andy and I are meeting together to do the gravel glueing at my home.

[B]

And then when you're done there, what are you doing?

[A]

What are you doing after that?

[B]

Because, you know, I told you.

[A]

I told you I'm busy until 6 o'.

[C]

Clock.

[A]

So after 6 o'. Clock.

[B]

So what's after 6? We gang out then, right?

[A]

Andy and I are supposed to be having quality time, but I can see

[B]

if Andy and Andy are working out. I'm working out with Andy until 6

[A]

and he's not worried. Is Andy aware of this? Working on time?

[B]

Andy said whatever I'm doing with money, I'm canceling it to. To do this because it's more important.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

You mean it's forward you the text?

[A]

Yeah, actually,

[B]

I'll just forward it to you right now.

[A]

I'm gonna put on the screen and you and Jacob don't come and doctor because y' all know. Y' all know Bob and Jacob will doctor an image if the last thing they do. Y' all time and time again actually

[B]

said it much nicer than Andy said it.

[A]

You.

[B]

I feel bad when you see what Andy what. And you're about to say, y' all

[A]

are so full of it. Y'.

[B]

All.

[A]

We know y' all would doctor an image.

[B]

I'm copying it.

[A]

Don't take that much to copy this, Bob. I'm copying.

[B]

I am copying it right now.

[A]

I'm copying it right now.

[B]

Now. Do you want. Do you want to read this? Do you want to read what? What? What? I just forwarded.

[C]

You.

[B]

Read it. You chose this. Read it.

[A]

Bob just texted me. Kevin, this job is not more important than our relationship.

[B]

So, I mean, I don't know. By the way, the job was. The. The job was what y' all have.

[A]

Why you, Bob, you know, I came into this thing. I miss you so much. I was speaking to you that you. You were coming with me with all this venom, and I don't.

[B]

I wanted to hang out with you. I heard you was in town yesterday.

[A]

No, I was on Tuesday. Oh, yeah. I flew out, like, at 8:00 o'clock in the morning because I had to do the show last night in Denver. And then I literally flew back this morning because there's just so much going on. You look so cute at the Wicked premiere. I was so proud of you.

[B]

Oh, thank you. That was a fun collab with lots of amazing. Excuse me. Had a Red Bull. Lots of amazing people collabing. Godoy sewed the outfit and Rob headed up the styling. And Layla McQueen did my makeup.

[A]

And who.

[B]

Jacob took the pictures.

[A]

Who did the hair?

[B]

This guy in Dallas. And I would give him a shout out, but he didn't give a discount on this, so I'm just gonna keep it.

[A]

I know I've been. I've been very. It's so funny you say that. I've been on this, like, thing of, like, should I shout people out who aren't. I'm like, sometimes I do, sometimes I don't. Like, if you're not giving me a discount, I don't feel that's the need for me to not give you a shout out or give you a shout out. But, you know, or if I also. If I just really like a business, I'll just say it. Like, I don't care about that. But it's.

[B]

Yeah, it depends on me. He and I weren't close enough. I can't really vouch for him as a person. He did get hair and how'd you

[A]

find him on Insta?

[B]

Rob found him.

[A]

Oh, got it. Yeah, got it. I really like Rob.

[B]

Yeah, Rob's a cool guy.

[A]

I hope Rob stays around.

[B]

So far, he's been doing pretty good. We've been together for over a year now. Yeah, we're gonna go over a year now because we spent last Christmas together.

[A]

Y' all went together last Christmas? Was that. Was that when Madonna started?

[B]

No, it is not. Madonna started two years ago.

[A]

Really?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Y' all were touring during Christmas?

[B]

No, the whole process.

[A]

We.

[B]

We were touring last Christmas. Yeah, We. We had Santa Claus on stage in D.C. all right. We took a short break for the Yuletide holiday and in the new year, and that's crazy.

[A]

And y'.

[B]

All.

[A]

Same maternals as long as Taylor Swift ass. Taylor Swift ass been on this Eras tour.

[B]

Literally feels like an era in those eras, several eras.

[A]

This girl shit will not stop doing. You cannot. You cannot rise and chill from Taylor's dead cold fingertips.

[B]

Grant her defense. They won't stop paying her if people keep buying tickets. Keep doing. Listen Hamilton, Phantom of the Opera said we'll stop. Phantom with the opera said we'll stop doing the show and y' all stop buying tickets. And then 30 some odd years later people said we're done.

[A]

You know, that was everything. We talked about this before. So I don't want to beat a dead horse, but I just do not enjoy that show. I don't see, I don't know, I don't see what people see in this show. I can't.

[B]

We've spoken about Hamilton before. I mean about Phantom before. Yeah.

[A]

I think we did a thing about longest running Broadway shows and I think I went into a little rant about how I did not like da Phantom. It's one of the first Broadway shows I saw and I did not like. I do not get it. I don't. It's not for me.

[B]

I've never seen Phantom.

[A]

Really.

[B]

I saw the movie.

[A]

Can I tell you something that really irks me? There's a movie.

[B]

There's a movie if I remember. Yeah.

[A]

Something that really irks me. And as you saw, a theater connoisseur. Tell me you feel this way too. Theater faggots that don't go see theater, but their entire personality is, I love theater. I'm Broadway, Broadway, Broadway, Broadway, Broadway. Yet I don't see. Slash, I know you don't go out to a lot of Broadway shows or I don't see. Yeah, like I'm like, bitch, if you are true to this, you are. You, you, you, you are going to be one of the new things coming out. You get, you're going and see the shows like you're doing the thing. You're not just like presenting yourself as a theater fag on social media. You know what I mean? Like you, like you say you are the, you are the Broadway, you know, theater, all that. But bitch, I don't think she's old

[B]

school Broadway queen and she like likes the old, old, old stuff and that's not on Broadway anymore. Maybe, maybe. But like you're right, theater, in defense of people who might be like that, theater is a skos expensive. It is expensive and also it's a little. Even if it's not out of your price range, it's just inaccessible because it's in New York and everyone else is, you know, where they are. But shows do travel around all over the world and there are cheap and shows travel and there are cheap options for shows and there's also local Theater. There's regional theater. I am a musical theater queen. I would say I probably see, at this point, maybe four to six musicals a year.

[A]

What was the four to six you saw this year?

[B]

This year I saw Strange Loop at the Amazon.

[A]

Did I go with you to that? Yes, you.

[B]

You.

[A]

Who do we go with? It was a bunch of black people.

[C]

It was you, Carl, Marvin.

[B]

Yeah, it was just me and Marvin. It wasn't a bunch.

[A]

Jacob gave, too.

[C]

And me.

[B]

Jacob did come, but it wasn't.

[A]

And Jacob used his black voice.

[B]

Jake. I want to be clear, y'. All, in that video online of me getting photos taken, that is not Jacob doing a black voice. That is Rob, a black person talking. Everyone's like, why Jacob doing his black set? That's not Jacob.

[A]

That is Rob.

[B]

That is Rob Bryant, a black person talking. And they're standing next to each other.

[A]

So it looks like it's coming from the camp,

[B]

but, yeah, that's not. That's not Jacob, allegedly.

[A]

Do you know. Do you know that new TikTok trend where you show the thing and it's like. It's like looking at it right next on the wall, it's like, black women need to stop being. Then the camera flips around. It's a white person.

[C]

Like, ooh.

[A]

Literally.

[B]

J. Oh, would it be fun if someone did. Someone, like, for real, though, white people need to stop doing these, like. And I was wanting to do, like. It's really not that big of a deal if white people have a black accent and then it cuts back in this cue and go, ooh. Sometimes your voice is just the way you talk because of where you were. You're not doing a black set. Oh, try to make that one.

[A]

Oh, my God. No.

[B]

She already hates me, so it's a matter.

[A]

Yeah, I think she hates me too. And, you know, I, I, I like you. I. You know, I don't know why.

[B]

Hey, I like you, lying ass dog.

[A]

You should make.

[B]

I think people really laugh if you made one. Being like, I don't really think that Jinx Monsoon deserved to win. Ooh, people would love that. Him teacher make one. Bob the Drag Queen is clearly overrated.

[C]

O.

[A]

And you know what about me. If you don't want about me, I will fuck you up on site. I will come down to your office today, bitch.

[B]

I can't even get to come over here. Is that what I got to do? That's what it's gonna take. Let me get to.

[A]

I knew you're gonna fucking do that. Oh, my God. So you had Sidney Washington, Amber and Jasmine at your show. That's. I'm so sad I wasn't there. I'm so sad I wasn't there.

[B]

It was a very magical show.

[A]

That's what Andy told me. He told me it was the.

[B]

Sydney's Always Funny. I love Sydney's Always funny, baby. Sydney turned it up. Turned the competition up to 100. I mean, she was on fire. She was in rare form. She was going. Literally. The. The people who worked at the venue posted her being, like, funniest that I've ever seen. I was like, I'll just. I'll just go kick rocks. No, I'm kidding. No, she was amazing. Like, so fucking good. She went off and Jasmine and Amber were so fucking good. It was just a good show.

[A]

Do you know, I fell in with Sydney when we.

[B]

Tempest du Jour came.

[A]

Oh, wait, does she live in Phoenix?

[B]

She was in Tucson.

[A]

Okay. Tucson.

[B]

And a couple of the dancers from literally just a couple, two of them shout out to. To Jackson and. Why am I forgetting his name right now? Chaz. Shout out to C.H. jackson and Chaz, who came to see me in Phoenix, and Chaz's mom. Huh?

[A]

Dances from where? Bzila's Dance. We don't know what Dancers, they just dance. They're just people who.

[B]

They're just people who dance. Why do dances have to be attached to something?

[A]

Where do you know these dances from? Where they are from the tour? Were they from your tours?

[B]

People don't say singers from what? You get to just be a singer, but dance have to be a dancer from something? No.

[A]

For you.

[B]

That's crazy.

[A]

For you, because I know that. I know they must be from something that you did. So stop.

[B]

Actually, you can't just be a singer. Singers can just be singers. But dance has to be connected to someone because you don't think dance is a real artist. Say that with your whole chest. You think dancers belong in the background. Say it. Say it out loud. Tell us the real. Let the. Let people see the real Monet. Anyway. They happen to have danced on the Celebration tour.

[A]

You are such a. I want to take this, but I want to be

[B]

clear that they are dancers in their own right. But they did happen to have had dance on the Celebration Tour by coincidence.

[A]

But they were dancers before that. Coincidence before that. I like your new setup. Your new setup is very cute. Do what? Your new setup is very cute. I love the.

[B]

This is why I'm trying to get you to come to the studio.

[A]

Okay? I heard about it and I will see it. Bob you know what? We're not gonna stop being friends after today. I'm sure I will get a chance to see your space soon. Y', all, listen, this is. Y'. All, this is so Bob. Oh, when Bob does something, you. You have to see it. Today he has. When Bob gets a snack, he finishes. He's eating it. Now when Bob gets a beverage, he is chugging the whole thing going, I

[B]

will see the space maybe I'm living in. You know, I'll tell you why I do that in a second. Jacob, are you wearing a flag over your shirt? What are you wearing? Oh, it's a blanket, Jacob.

[A]

Okay, so ever since I.

[B]

No, no, no. Maybe. Monet, that's a trauma response. Maybe. I'm afraid the building is going to burn down. You ever thought about that? You ever thought about that?

[A]

Since you know everything. You got your fucking degree. So ever since I. I pointed out how emphatic Jacob is about his counting in. He's really made it very common, demure. And Jacob, I miss the accounting.

[B]

I want to say this real quick. I have been trying these new snacks, and I am the only one who likes them. What they're called, don't worry. This is not paid. I don't work with. I don't work with. Don't worry. But they make these meringue treats so you can have snacks. And this whole container is just. Is just 20 calories. So if you want to satiate your sweet tooth, you can do it without. Jacob said everyone hates them. This is. This is one. There's one calorie. But I love them.

[A]

I'll try it. But I'm not a meringue person. Like, when I see. When I watch. Great. This past week, they had a meringue. Whatever it was, they use a meringue. I don't like. I don't like meringue. I don't. It's just. It's just I'm not a meringue girly.

[B]

Is Meringue pie a good drag name?

[A]

No, I thought about one last night that I came up with. Oh, this is for a theater queen, a singing queen. And it's gonna be. What can I say, Sarah? Serenade. It's a good one, right?

[B]

Oh, Serenade would be a good name.

[A]

It's a good serenade. Should I. Should I talk about.

[B]

How about. How about Belta Ballot?

[A]

Belta is not a name.

[B]

Belta girl. If Delta's a name, Delta's a name.

[A]

Delta? No, Delta is. No, Delta is a thing. Belta is not. So you don't know this.

[B]

So in the south, black twins often have rhyming names. It's very common for black twins in the south to have rhyming names. Not only that, any of you, like Brian and Ryan or like Stacy and Tracy, but they will also just take a name and then make up a name. So I knew a Yolanda. Everyone knows Yolanda. And then Zalanda. I've never met a Zalanda who wasn't this one Zalanda. Or they'll be like Kevin and Bevin. Like, they will, they will make a name rhyme. They will make a name rhyme with a name that everyone knows.

[A]

I don't think that's, I don't think that's strictly for the South. I, I, I know that.

[B]

I don't know. So you know a lot of black twins with rhyming names.

[A]

Yeah, I think, I think that's just a twin thing. People love making the twins rhyme.

[B]

White people do not give their twins rhyming names.

[A]

Tn. Tn. Tamara. I mean, it's not close, but they're

[B]

all, it doesn't rhyme.

[A]

They're.

[B]

That doesn't rhyme. That doesn't rhyme.

[A]

They, they rhyme. They rhyme. They rhyme in the front.

[B]

They, that's not how they work. It's called alliteration. Alliteration. Kardashians use. The Kardashians use alliteration. Kim, Khloe, Kris, or.

[A]

Oh, I had to unfollow the Kardashians. Why?

[B]

What happened?

[A]

Well, I only followed Kim and Chloe, but it just came. It's just so evident that these bitches are probably Trump supporters. So I was just like, I just can't. I just can't. I just can't.

[B]

I just don't know much. I don't know much about the. I think, I think Kim Kardashian made it really clear that she's a Trump supporter when she worked with him to get that lady out of prison.

[A]

But it was no, because with that, it was like, hey, what? What, What. It seemed like to me as someone was consuming that, that content was. I'm putting my dis. My things aside because I care about more about the justice for this black woman than the, than, than what this person does and who he is. That's what it felt like.

[B]

Even though her husband is a, was a, at the time, a fervent Trump,

[A]

but they weren't together anymore. This one, she had, he had been long.

[B]

I don't follow the Kardashians that well. You, you, you, you eat me up a. I don't, I really don't. Follow them that much or at all. Only when. When something cr. The dress. I remember when that. When the. The dress happened. The. The Marilyn Monroe dress.

[A]

Oh, wait. Oh, that. The fact that she borrowed and ripped it or whatever happened to it.

[B]

Yeah, that was everywhere.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And I am. I am on costume tick tock and wardrobe. Like, I didn't get back on costume TikTok. I made it. Or it's like fashion TikTok. But I want to get back on costume TikTok. It's such a great place. It is about costume designers and cosplayers and drag queens specifically gearing toward the costumes, though. And I was on it pretty intensely for a while, but somehow I got off it.

[A]

How do you think you ended up on costume TikTok?

[B]

Just probably looking up costumes and stuff. I mean, and I was really looking at a lot of cosplay stuff because I started following this one cosplayer who does all these cool outfits. And then at the end, I just ended up on there.

[A]

Costume talk.

[B]

Maybe a movie came out that everyone was dressing up, like, for a while. Maybe this is. This was like, maybe like two years ago, though.

[C]

Work.

[B]

I cannot believe that I've been on TikTok for that long.

[A]

I mean, you've been on TikTok. So you've been on TikTok since, like, heavy. Since the pandemic.

[B]

Yeah. Right. Yeah. So four years now. And I was looking at the other day, I have pictures on Facebook that are 19 years old.

[A]

I mean, we all do, right? I mean, I've been using Facebook since Monet.

[B]

We don't all. Some of us. Some of us were. There's someone listening to podcasts who wasn't alive 19 years ago.

[A]

I started my Facebook. So 2008. 2008 to 20. 20. 24 is what. That's 20.

[C]

Oh.

[A]

Oh, hold on.

[B]

New York public schools.

[A]

That's.

[B]

That's 16 years. 2008. 2008 was 16 years ago.

[A]

That's 12 years.

[B]

I think 2008 was 16 years ago.

[A]

Yeah, you're right.

[B]

Yeah, but. And everyone's not. Delete your Facebook. You hit that Facebook, baby. Facebook is the most well documented chunk of my life. Like, there is no. There is no. No app. There is no photo book. There is no Google Drive. There's nothing that has more that has archived my life, my career, my posters, my friends. Better than Facebook.

[A]

Well, what it is.

[B]

I'm not saying it. I'm not. I'm not caping for fucking Zuckerberg, but it has documented my life since I was 19 years old.

[A]

Well, I mean, but for some people, that's X, that's Twitter. Some people who like, lived on Twitter, like, that's what the thing is. I think for. I mean, for me too, I think Facebook is also a great way to document that. But I change. I had my pre drag Facebook and I had my post drag Facebook. I don't even know how to get into my old Facebook. Like my, my college Facebook. And that was the one that my name was like Kevin Requiem or something. And like my, my.

[B]

I remember Kevin Requiem.

[A]

Monet used to be like, I don't

[B]

want people to know my last name.

[A]

My mom, My mom was like, you should not have your last name on.

[B]

I never understood that. People. This is no shade to these people. But people who are not famous, no one's looking for. No one's chasing you down. And now I will say, as someone who has had their identity stolen before, it is very, very frustrating. It is incredibly upsetting to have your identity stolen. I'm gonna say that with my whole chestices. But at the same time, it'd be wild when folks, like the folks who thought they were getting microchipped, meanwhile, they're like a kindergarten teacher living in Pigeon Tit, Tennessee.

[A]

Do you know they do that in. There's that thing on whole foods. Go check it out. Whole foods. I think we can like swipe your palm to check out as opposed to using a card or anything. And I don't know how they do that. I don't know if it reads.

[B]

Maybe fingerprints. I mean, we go to clear. They look at your eyes.

[A]

It's not fingerprints, though. You literally wave your. It's a little thing and you wave your hand over it.

[B]

Would you get a chip?

[A]

If you ask me today, no. How technology evolves and changes in the future, probably yes. But as of today, absolutely not. Why not? I don't know. I just, I. The safety of it. I don't know how safe it is to have it up inside me.

[B]

It's just a chip.

[A]

But I don't want, you know. You know, I know people that go. That get those subdermal implants that they get infected and, and you can't. You.

[B]

They have.

[A]

They have to take it out. You like, miss like a chunk of your body.

[B]

I mean, people get foreign objects in their body all the time.

[A]

Yeah. And maybe have. Sometimes they get infected and you have to have a whole thing.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Someone's dick that has the. Has a subdermal thing on their dick.

[B]

No, I'm not sucking a pierced dick. What if something comes unscrewed. Now. Now I got a quarter pound of metal in my stomach.

[A]

No, not a Prince Albert. You can get, like, on the shaft of their penis, like.

[B]

Yeah, I said no jewelry. I'm not sucking any jewelry.

[A]

It's under the skin. It's not on top of it.

[B]

I said no. Monet, stop trying to convince me.

[A]

But I'm saying the thing that you're afraid of is not. There's no fear of that happening. There's nothing.

[B]

No, because those things can still come because those balls are you. Sorry. What if one comes undone?

[A]

No, that's not what I'm talking about. I think we talk about two different things. Under the bottom of the dick, they

[B]

have their dicks pierced.

[A]

No, not. That is what I'm talking about. On the top. This is the penis, right? On top of the penis, they have, like, a heart or like a thing under. It's like. I don't know how they do it. It's a subdermal.

[B]

Is it pierced and is it metal?

[A]

It's not metal. It's not pierced. It's something like cartilage y. Under, like, the thing. I'm gonna try to send a picture to show you. Jacob. Jacob, have you seen these

[B]

in our. Have you used sex with these?

[C]

I haven't seen this specifically on a penis, but I've seen similar things. Subdermal implants on other parts of the body. Yes.

[B]

Have you sucked one of these pieces?

[A]

I was presented with one, and I did it, but at first I was like, what am I looking at here? Is this.

[B]

And what would they have a heart on their dick?

[A]

It was a heart. She had a heart on the top.

[B]

You don't understand. What you don't understand was I sucked the skin off the dick. That would end. I would end up swallowing whatever it is. No, you know, I have a little umbrella hook on my penis.

[A]

I'm sorry, what?

[B]

You know how an umbrella looks on the bottom, how it curves?

[A]

Yes, I have one on my penis. Okay.

[B]

I'm not kidding.

[A]

What? An implant?

[B]

No, it's just. It's just the way my penis is

[C]

general shape. It's just. He's just saying his. His is a. A Captain Hook.

[B]

No, it's not.

[C]

It's not.

[B]

No, it's not. It's not. The hook is. There's a vein on my penis. Oh, Jacob's seen it.

[A]

Oh, a vein, like, on the top of your dick.

[B]

That looks like. Like. That looks like an umbrella hook.

[A]

Oh, okay. That's different.

[B]

And I mean exactly like an Umbrella hook.

[A]

I'm gonna try to send this copy image. I'm. Put it in the thing. I can't believe, Bob, the amount of dicks you done seen in your life, you've never seen one of these. That's crazy.

[B]

That felt slut shaming. That felt.

[A]

I mean, we literally talked about our numbers on here.

[B]

I'm just saying, that felt a little slut shaming, the way you sat at Paul.

[A]

Look, look. Look at what I sent in, the thing.

[B]

The weird monogamous queen felt like she was getting a little shamey. Yeah, you think? Maybe you're a little shamy

[A]

of it. But the ones I've seen, like, guys, like, they do it like, you just get like a.

[B]

Obviously we're not putting this on the screen.

[A]

Yeah, we can't put that on the screen. But sometimes they're balls, they're squares, they're hearts, they're stars. Like, they're like, what the fuck is this?

[B]

Just a. What the fuck is this supposed to be? It looks like the select button on the PlayStation 5 remote. Like, I don't get what this is supposed to be.

[A]

It's like a thing. People get subdermal implants all the time.

[B]

But what is this shape? Is this supposed to be?

[A]

I, I, I don't know. This look like someone that has. I don't know what he got going on.

[B]

I mean, it looks like it, it looks like it. Whatever it is, it was intentional. But I don't, I don't get what the hell that shape is supposed to be.

[A]

I think sometimes people get it. I don't think it's for specifically a, A shape, but it's, it's to give your penis more. So when you're someone is, it's more for the person and not you is what I've heard. But, you know, I would.

[B]

Okay, well, no, I've not experienced a subdermal, whatever those things are.

[A]

Have you, have you, have you ever seen been met with a penis? I had like a crazy tattoo under dick.

[B]

No, no tattoos. No, I've, I've, I've. I hooked up with a guy who had a penis person, but I didn't do anything with his penis.

[A]

Got it. I would, I would love to suck up Prince Albert just, just for the fun of it. I just want to.

[B]

What if they. What if it unlodges?

[A]

It's not, it's not. You know, a lot of them are

[B]

also connected via magnet.

[A]

What do you mean? So they don't all screw on.

[B]

Some of them are just like the. There's there's the loop, the circle. And then if anything goes in, it's just a magnet.

[A]

Like, the ball to keep it on is a magnet. A friend of mine recently got a Prince Albert. And it's like a crazy healing time. And it's like, bleeding. You have to, like, sleep with, like. With, like, puppy pads on your bed because, like, you bleed and stuff. Because at night, you know when you sleep, you get erections. And like, it's just like. It just seems like so much work for this fucking piercing. It seems like so much work.

[B]

You get erections when you sleep.

[A]

Everyone does. You're getting. You're throughout the night. When you were going through sleep cycles, you were having erections throughout the night.

[B]

I've never had an erection when I slept.

[A]

That's literally impossible.

[B]

You don't know that.

[A]

I know it. It's impossible, Bob. You have had a erection. You sleep tonight.

[B]

So you watch me sleep. You're crotch watching while I sleep.

[A]

I sure am. And tonight, when you go to bed, put a piece of toilet tissue around your penis. And if it's ripped, when you wake up in the morning, that means you got a boner while you were sleeping.

[B]

What, am I gonna tape it? How's it gonna stay around?

[A]

Yeah, put a piece of fucking Scotch tape. I'm not asking you to duct tape your penis shut, bitch. I said just put a little piece of Scotch tape on your dick. What the fuck?

[B]

Have you done this before? No, it could also rip because I'm, like, rolling. I roll around in the bed.

[A]

See, I'm. I'm a. When I get in bed, the position I go to sleep in is the position I wake up in. I know people that. But how do you know you're not

[B]

moving around and just going back and just starting back where you started?

[A]

No, I'm not.

[B]

Would you be comfortable with us putting a camera above your bed one night?

[A]

Yeah, I don't care. I see.

[B]

You think you're gonna be in the same position the whole time.

[A]

Let's go back and I'll tell you more about my position. Draco, if you don't give me an enthusiastic countdown, you're off of this gig.

[B]

You cannot.

[A]

It's so cute. Yeah, no, I. I am confident. I don't move. I don't move when I sleep. I, like, sleep like this and I sleep.

[B]

Yeah, I feel like I sleep more soundly than you do.

[A]

You don't. You nigga. You look like a rambunctious ass. Sleep, you nigga. You look, nigga. I feel like, you are tossing, turning, kicking. Nigga, you are fighting.

[B]

You've seen me sleep, and you've seen me sleep before.

[A]

Yeah, same.

[B]

But you didn't see me kicking,

[A]

but I feel like you were putting on

[B]

in full, deep rim. I'm that extra, but I'm putting on

[A]

in deep rim sleep.

[C]

1.

[A]

Honey, you are the most extra. Are you fucking kidding me?

[B]

One day, me and Monet are going to put a cat. We're going to sleep in the same bed side by side. And we were going to. We never slept in the same bed before. Isn't that crazy?

[A]

I know. And why is that?

[B]

Man, we never slept in the same bed. Really? Not once.

[A]

There was that one time when we came to New York and we were having a BOMO meeting, and you came to my room at the Ace, and then we got done. You had a really long travel day, and you were like, monet, kind of laying on your bed. I was like, yeah. So we both lay down the bed. You're like, ugh, I just love being horizontal.

[B]

Well, Monet laughed at me because I took my clothes off to lay in bed. Which is, by the way, Monet is like, why do you think I was like, well, Monet, you have a strict rule that no one can wear clothes that have ever seen the light of day.

[A]

I don't like your bed. Do what? I don't like street clothes in my bed, especially in New York.

[B]

But I respected your rule. And you were like, this is crazy. Why are you taking your clothes off?

[A]

And then. See, y'. All. Bob gets tucked in. Like, Bob tucked. Like, he's like. Like he's in preschool, about to take his nap. He just goes. I just love being horizontal. I love laying down.

[B]

Like, I love laying down almost as much as I love walking in parking lots. I can't.

[A]

Oh, like. Like 30 minutes after the.

[B]

After the Wicked premiere, Jacob and I went. Jacob has a photo studio. And we went to Jacob's photo studio. And I need to tell you something. The thermostat, and this is Jacob's private place. Where? This is Jacob's space. I don't have nothing to do with it.

[A]

I've only.

[B]

I've only been there twice, actually, three times, if you've included me coming back. It was either 53 or 57 degrees.

[A]

That's too cold.

[B]

I was.

[A]

That is too cold.

[B]

Shivering. I was literally shaking.

[A]

That's too.

[B]

And I was like, jacob, we have to go home. I can't be here another 20 seconds.

[A]

Jacob, there are limits. 53 degrees is.

[B]

It was either 53 or 57. I just remember it was 57. I was. My eyes were. I was. My head was shaking. I couldn't even focus.

[A]

That's. That is crazy cold.

[B]

Jacob, you want. You want to come forward and say something about that? Jacob?

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

I mean, there are a couple things that were happening, I think. First of all, I. That wasn't. I didn't like, set that with the temperature in mind. When we started getting ready at my studio, I had the windows open. My studio has very large windows. So when the windows are like up, it becomes very hot via the greenhouse effect. So I just kind of like turn the thermostat on to cool it down when I'm going to bed at night. That's the temperature I set it for because I like to go to bed in a frigid thing. So I feel really nice and cozy underneath my big blankets.

[A]

There's a fridge. Go sleep in the fridge. Go sleep.

[B]

Jacob said if we had a. If we had a walk in the fridge, I would.

[A]

Jacob, wait.

[B]

Tyra.

[A]

Jacob, you said it at 57 or 53 to sleep.

[C]

50. 57. Well, also, here's the other part, too. My air conditioning in my unit doesn't actually correspond to the thing you set it to. So if I want it to get cold and I set it to 65, sometimes it will just be like, okay, it's 65 degrees, even though it's not 65 degrees. So sometimes you have to set it colder than 65 to get it to a cool temperature. It's not an exact science. So if I set it to 52 degrees, the apartment's not going to cool down to 50. It's 53 degrees. It's probably gonna stop around 60, which is where I really would like it.

[B]

I agree. It does not correlate. Cause it might have been 40 something degrees in that motherfucking apartment. It was crazy. Me, Jacob and Mikey were standing in this fucking studio and I was like. And I had to take off all my clothes to put on my other clothes. But I was. But it was hot in the day, so I was wearing shorts and like a T shirt. Guy was frozen. Frozen.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Get it frozen. Jacob is the singing queen now. Jacob now sings. That was. That was. That was frozen.

[A]

Oh, I. Jacob done interpolated. I was like, what?

[B]

That's the beginning of. It's the beginning of Let it go. Also. I got to watch Jacob watch Wicked. And that was one of the greatest moments of our relationship. It was so wonderful. They were like, are you guys ready to See Wicked, and Jacob was like, I have been waiting for this since I was 13 years old. And, baby, I saw Jacob living out his full life. It was so charming. Especially when loathing came on. That's. Jacob was jam. Jacob be jamming to loathing.

[A]

Loathing. So, y', all. Full disclosure, I was. All my friends were at the fucking Wicked premiere. Every time I was seeing a thing, I was so jealous, and I was very grateful to be in Colorado singing the Dutch.

[B]

You don't sound grateful.

[A]

I was very grateful. I was very happy to be there, but I was also very jealous I could not make the Wicked premiere, but now I'm kind of happy I did. Because Bob is saying that. Because, full disclosure, I've never seen the show. I've never seen a Broadway show, obviously. I know some of the big songs from Popular, Defying Gravity For Good, the Wizard, and I. I know some of the big numbers from the show, but I've never seen the Broadway production or any production of Wicked ever, so. But Bob is saying she thinks if I want to have a theater faggot experience, I should go see the musical.

[B]

No. That's what Jacob said. I do not agree. I don't think. I think that to. To be able to enjoy Wicked in a way that me and Jacob were enjoying it, you would have to completely familiarize yourself with it. It would take over a year to learn Wicked the way that I've been knowing Wicked for the past. Like, almost 20 years now, or maybe more than 20 years. I don't know how. I can't remember how old Wicked is, but, like, this musical is just. I just. I know it. Like, I don't know it. I would say this.

[C]

I.

[B]

You could probably stop musical at Wicked at any point in the album, and I could probably tell you what the next lyrics are. More than likely. Like, that's how well I know Wicked.

[A]

You know what I mean? Okay, I'm gonna play Wicked song.

[B]

Kind of like. Like, when I saw Dreamgirls, I was able to enjoy it more because I know the musical so well, I just became obsessed with it in high school.

[C]

Cheryl.

[A]

Oh, don't. Don't. I know. I saw the pictures. I know. I am so jealous. You bet.

[B]

I asked her to tell me that singing doesn't that ooze, and Oz doesn't put food on the table. No, I'm kidding.

[A]

Should have. She probably walked away.

[B]

No, no. She was really, really, really sweet. She was insane. She almost made me want to be nicer to fans.

[C]

Wait, can you tell her? Can you tell Monet, what she said or is that.

[B]

It was so. I haven't said it anywhere. It was so random. So I went up to her and I was like, I want you to know that I. I'm writing a Broadway musical.

[A]

Right.

[B]

I don't know if it's gonna write. I'm writing a musical right now called Harry seven Live at Concert. I've already written a book.

[A]

Would.

[B]

You all can go [e-mail] you can get my. You can pre order my [e-mail] and. And I would love for you to be able to come see it when it. When it. When it. When it opens. And then she looked at me and she said, let's do an album together. I'm not kidding. Verbatim what she said. And then on the way out, she said, I can't wait for the future.

[A]

Did you always change numbers? Are you going to do it?

[C]

She follows him on Instagram. Like we went. I went to look at her profile and it was like, follow back work.

[A]

Okay, I'm gonna play a song.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

Oh,

[B]

Feel so parental for I am a sentimental man.

[A]

What song is it?

[B]

It's A sentimental man.

[A]

Okay. Okay. There's another one that's.

[B]

That's low key. An obscure one. Low key.

[A]

I'm getting. I'm getting the obscure baddies. Okay, tell me this one.

[B]

And that was Joel Gray, right?

[A]

It was Joel Gray. Not to be confused with Earl Gray.

[B]

Earl Grey. There's a picture of me and Joel Gray. This is me and Joel Gray at the new now next Doors.

[A]

Is.

[B]

Is that. There is a picture of us right there. There is a picture of us right there. Something bad is happening in Oz.

[A]

What's after that?

[B]

I don't know. The song is kind of repetitive, so I can't remember which part, but that's where Idita Mazel comes in. Yeah. Under the surface. That part. I don't. I don't quite remember that part.

[A]

I know it. Behind the scenes. Something bad. Sorry.

[C]

Bad.

[B]

You're wreaking it. Let me send this picture of me and Joel Gray to. To the. To the chat. Because I'm gonna say.

[A]

What?

[B]

What? What? Jay, don't do the research. I'm saying Joe's. Jay's great. Jay, like, if it ain't in there, I'm not looking for it. I'm not asking for it.

[A]

We literally. We have. Have what? We literally have a group chat that we don't put the things in. Bitch, if I was jailing, I wouldn't look for it either. I'm like, y' all niggas get what you get. You don't get upset.

[B]

Wow, that's crazy. That is me and Joe Gray standing on stage. Look how tiny Joe Gray is.

[A]

Let me see.

[B]

I wanna point out that Joel's hand is in the air above his head, and it's still below my.

[A]

Below my head. Wow, this is a cute outfit.

[B]

Joel's hand is almost completely vertical.

[A]

This is a cute look.

[B]

Do what?

[A]

So this is a cute look?

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

I. I found that look when I was going through my drag, and I was like, oh, my God, this dress. I've not. I. I just. I wore that just, like, one time

[A]

to the New Nonex Awards. Yeah. Yes. Joel Gray is tea honey.

[B]

Yeah. What made you say that all of a sudden?

[A]

Earl Gray T. Joel Gray's tea.

[B]

That's pretty funny, actually. That's pretty funny. Earl Gray is a good drag name

[A]

for a drag king.

[B]

Yeah. This was not drag.

[A]

No, I was going to say. Oh, my God, Bob, why are we. Why are we gendering drag names? There can be a drag queen named Earl Grey.

[B]

We're not gender drag names. I said Earl Grey is a good dragon name. You Earl, baby. That was all. You always love to.

[A]

We.

[B]

We. Not we. We. Bitch, you. You love to do some shit and then throw in some we.

[A]

Yeah, we should engender drag names.

[C]

Yeah, we.

[A]

We don't.

[C]

You do.

[A]

No, I don't. Monet loves. We do everything together.

[B]

First of all, my name is Bob. You think I'm out here gendering drag names? My name is Bob the Drag Queen.

[A]

My name is Monet. Monet is in French. That is a.

[B]

A.

[A]

A Maab name.

[B]

That's. That's okay. That's Claude Monet's last name.

[A]

It's still his name.

[B]

That's like. That's like. That's like saying Jackson. Well, no, that's like saying Jenkins is AMAB name.

[A]

No, that's not how that works.

[B]

Because. Because it's an am. Someone who's. Who is. Who was a mabed last name. That's crazy.

[A]

I'm just saying.

[B]

I just want to have a conversation online about how AMAB and AFAB should be kept as verbs and not adjectives.

[A]

Why? Because the.

[B]

The acronym describes an action assigned male at birth. But then when you make it an adjective, but then you make it an adjective, you are amab. It makes your state of being as opposed to something that happened to you.

[A]

That's it.

[B]

It's an interesting conversation. It didn't really catch on much, to be honest. But I do find it to be an interesting conversation.

[A]

That is interesting, Bob.

[B]

And I don't really know much more of it, but I am beyond that.

[A]

I had a non gender name before you. I was Monet. Then you became Bob after I was already Monet. So you did that after me.

[B]

Your Monet is not a gender neutral name. Monet's not. Historically, you act like Monet is. Sydney.

[A]

All the Monet's I know are male.

[B]

Like who?

[A]

Monet Carmichael.

[B]

You are. You are so foolish.

[A]

I do Monet Carmichael from where I grew up. There's Monet Smith and you're lying.

[B]

Okay. You're lying.

[A]

I'm okay.

[B]

So you still follow each other on Facebook? They follow Kevin Requiem.

[A]

Kevin Requiem. So I can't get it now, but

[B]

you're so full of even people with last names. Even Victoria Monet, even as a last name is Afab now what?

[A]

Now how you look? Now how you look?

[B]

Looking ass.

[A]

Where is Star Jones?

[B]

She's a lawyer. Maybe she's practicing a law.

[A]

I have not seen her at Star Jones.

[B]

Well, she wrote a book a while back about. She wrote like a fiction book. A fiction book about the View and I think they turned into a TV show.

[A]

No, it was called Satan Sisters.

[B]

Did it.

[A]

Let me look it up.

[B]

Yeah, I think that Vanessa Williams was in it.

[A]

That actually does sound familiar.

[B]

Yeah, I think Vanessa. I think Vanessa Williams played the Barbara Walters character.

[A]

Satan's Sisters. Oh, no, that's. There's a 1925 movie named Satan Sisters, Jacob.

[B]

But they probably didn't call it Satan Sister because there was already a movie called that.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

She's also currently the current judge on Divorce Court.

[A]

Is she?

[C]

Yes.

[B]

Wow, that's interesting.

[A]

She would have worked turn on web app Activity Girl. What? Don't turn on.

[B]

I want to know how Judge Judith Shailen voted.

[A]

I mean, do we need Girl.

[C]

Girl.

[A]

She. She came out and she said some like pro conservative thing a while ago. I remember in the headlines. How do you feel about. How do you feel about Nicole?

[B]

Okay, I'm not closely following this Nicole Schinger stuff, so I'm sure Jacob knows it better than me.

[A]

I've been following it.

[B]

Someone wore a hat that said make Jesus great again.

[A]

Russell Brandt did, who is a very super conservative. Trump. Trump. Trumpy. Trump. Trump. Trump. Trump. Trump.

[C]

Trump.

[B]

And then she said, where can I find this hat?

[A]

Yeah, with a red heart emoji.

[B]

And then from that they have seen famed that she is a Trump supporter.

[C]

The. The hat said make Jesus first Again.

[B]

Make Jesus first again.

[C]

Yeah, like, make America great again. Make Jesus first again.

[B]

Now to be. Wait, the hats have both. They just said, make, make, make Jesus.

[A]

Make Jesus first again.

[C]

Make for Jesus first again.

[B]

Now, I feel like a lot of people wear. A lot of people wear parodies of the Make America great Again hat.

[A]

But honestly, Rose McGee ahead.

[B]

I mean, so I feel like a lot of people wear, like, I want to say, make America gape again, but I don't think that necessarily means that they are. What does that say?

[A]

And she's also been. She's liking a lot of, like, right wing stuff. Like Robert.

[C]

Robert F. Kennedy Jr. Posted on Instagram. Yes. Russell Brand and Tucker Carlson. I will restore free speech and forever wars and protect children's health once we get real Donald Trump back in the White House. And she liked it. Sure.

[B]

She got booed at Sunset Boulevard.

[A]

I heard. And now people are calling for her to be removed and put Heather Headley in instead. Do not nominate her for Tonys. She's not getting any nominations, which she was a big favor to get nominated and win this year.

[B]

I mean, she is insanely talented. People have been going crazy about her performance. She's an amazing singer, but the girls aren't gagging anymore. Talent's not enough. Talent's not enough.

[A]

It is so gags and crazy people. Like, is free speech not thinking anymore? I'm like, yeah, you are free. She can say that. But the public.

[B]

We're free to boo.

[A]

Exactly. We're free to not support her and not want and not like what she's doing. Like that. Oh, that is also like, no one's saying freedom of speech.

[B]

Does that mean you can say anything you want and no one can say anything about it? Are y' all fucking dense? What the fuck do you think freedom of speech is? You are not. You do not have freedom of consequences. Yes, you can say anything you want. And if people want to show up and be like you, you ruined this experience for me. People are also free to say that the people want freedom of speech to

[A]

go one way and one way only.

[B]

Y' all don'. Yeah, I feel like people don't get the real experience of where freedom of speech is.

[A]

Yeah, it's crazy.

[B]

Just like Aladdin said when Jafar turned into the. Into the genie he goes all powerful strength. And Aladdin said, yeah, and everything that comes along with it. And locked him up in a. In a lamp.

[A]

You better know. I don't think I've ever seen Aladdin. I've never seen Aladdin.

[B]

Aladdin is. Is one of the top five Disney movie musicals.

[A]

What's the first one?

[B]

Lion King number one.

[A]

What's two?

[B]

Little Mermaid number two.

[A]

What's three?

[B]

Aladdin number three.

[A]

You just said. Oh. What's four top five? Beauty and the Beast and five.

[B]

Okay. You know, I feel like when I saw Frozen, it was good, but I was just too old to really appreciate it for what it really, really was, if I'm being honest with you. But it is a really good musical. And. But also, in my childhood, I just really loved the Aristocrat. The Aristocats.

[A]

Oh, my God. I love Aristocats as a kid, but

[B]

it was barely a musical.

[A]

Yeah, it only had, like, three songs in it.

[B]

But. But we are Siamese, if you please, which is probably problematic. And also, everybody. Everybody.

[A]

No. Is that how it goes? Everybody wants.

[B]

Everybody wants to be a cat. I'm telling you. Everybody.

[A]

Everybody wants to be a cat. Because the cat's the only cat who knows how to act. Everybody wants to be. Or something like that. Is that the melody for it? No, wait.

[B]

Everybody wants to be a cat. I'm telling you. Aristocats is what cat should have been.

[A]

This is the one I'm talking about that. The elus. Everybody wants to be. That one. That's the song I'm talking about. I don't know.

[B]

I'm talking about this one. This song here. This is my jam.

[A]

Yeah, hold on. That's what I was doing.

[C]

Oh.

[B]

I guess at the end they go in.

[A]

Okay, you're right. Yeah, yeah.

[B]

We talk about different parts of the song.

[A]

Aristocats was you. Oh, my God. You remember, I used. I had that on vhs. I used to love it. Okay. So back when I was a kid, my top five VHS movies I had. I used to. I would watch these on repeat all the time. Was Harriet the Spy because it came in an orange VHS tape, and I was obsessed with Rosie o'. Donnell, and that went.

[B]

Oh, my God. Harry the Spy.

[A]

Harriet the Spy with Michelle Trattenberg. And Rosie o' Donnell was her caretaker. And the most dramatic, the saddest part of the movie was when, like, Harriet. Because Rosie o' Donnell was. You don't know Harriet the Spy, Bob.

[B]

No.

[C]

What?

[A]

We have to watch that together. Rosie o' Donnell was Harriet's, like, caretaker, whatever, with these rich parents. And then there's a time when, like, they, like, go, Rosie. Donald takes her out and they got on this whole thing, and her parents come home and I forget why, but they're unpleased with how Rosal was Behaving. And then at this point, Harriet was old enough to not have a caretaker. So they send Rosie away, and then they recite this poem together. The time has come, the walrus things. Da, da, da, da, da. And there's a really dramatic moment in this movie when Rosie and Harriet separate. And I used to cry at that shit all the time. It was so sad and so dramatic. Cause she finally loses the person who was really taking care of her, who loved her. From a little.

[C]

Little girl

[B]

has really had a. An iconic career.

[A]

100%. She's done everything.

[B]

Truly iconic career.

[A]

I love that. I had the Home Alone 2. I didn't watch Home Alone 1 a lot, but I had Home Alone 1 on DVD. I loved. I love.

[B]

I'm trying to find the. I'm trying to find the poem from Harriet the Spy.

[A]

Oh,

[B]

there's a pointer. Right.

[A]

The time has come, the walrus said. That's the name of it. I'm reading it around. It's the Walrus and the Carpenter.

[B]

Can you read the poem? Is it long?

[A]

Yeah, but it was just a small. This part. She would go. The time has come, the walrus said, to talk of many things, of shoes and ships and sealing wax, of cabbages and kings and why the sea is boiling hot and whether pigs have wings. I forget the relevance of why that was so special to them, but it was.

[B]

Honestly, it sounds stupid. Okay, sorry. I'm sorry. That was a bit. That was a bit. That was a bit. It was a bit. I thought it'd be funny to give. It didn't sound stupid. Misgiving.

[C]

It sounds.

[A]

Oh, my God.

[B]

That really wrecked you.

[A]

I didn't realize it would wreck you.

[B]

Like, that poor memory.

[A]

For me, as a kid, it was also because I did not have a lot of white people around me as a kid in St. Lucia, there were not a lot of white people on the island. So, like, when I would see white people. Sounds gonna be so. Sound so crazy. When I saw white people having such tender emotions with each other, I was like, wow, this is so cool.

[B]

That's crazy.

[A]

I didn't know any white people. I did not. I don't think I'd have seen a single white person at that point in my life. So I was like, wow, they're so complex. They have such complex movies.

[B]

New York. And you were like, these are. This is not har. This is not Harriet.

[A]

It's not. This is not what I was accustomed to, girl. Hey, get.

[B]

Hey, get out of the way, you mooly.

[A]

The is a moly.

[B]

That's like a. Apparently. I don't think it's really in term anymore, but it's like, it's a. It's an offensive term that Italians use for black people.

[A]

Oh, I didn't know that. I never heard of this.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Like, is this. What is like a. A thing for. Is it a short for mulatto? Maybe? Got it. Maybe Mateo just did a show with that hot TikTok Italian cook guy I saw on Instagram. That hot guy, he's straight, but maybe he queer baits. I haven't seen his content on TikTok in a long time. He's just like, aggressive Italian cooking, straight dude on Instagram.

[B]

He tried to say queer.

[A]

Queer.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

Why? What did I say before?

[B]

You say it the way you normally

[A]

say it was what? Queer?

[B]

Queer. Can you say ear?

[A]

Hear.

[B]

Ear? Everyone said, your white man voice just sound like your voice did it.

[A]

That's all the comments said. Do you think?

[B]

So they said, what does Monday do? The white man voice. When does.

[A]

Dude, do you think it sounds like my regular voice?

[B]

I think it sounds. I think. You know what it is? I tried to do a completely different voice. Like a whole different voice. And I think you just white ified your own voice, which is probably much smarter to code switching than trying to create a new Persona.

[A]

What about will be code switching then? It's making a whole character. He's like, absolutely.

[B]

You got to just change it up,

[A]

be a whole new person.

[B]

Listen, I. Have you seen this guy online? He. He runs a company called the ocda. Yes.

[A]

And he goes into businesses. Kameka and I send us. Send these videos to back and forth to each other literally all day long. It's so funny.

[B]

So if you don't know the guy who runs the ocda, what happens is you send him complaints about your management or your boss or the company owner, and then he will show up at the job and he will curse them out. He will read your complaints verbatim.

[A]

Yeah, he be like. He be like, so Bob the Dragon, it said, hey, you be in the toilet taking shits and leave your skid marks all over. All over the toilet bowl, saying, fuck you, you dumbass white cracker niggas. Is that true? Why would you do that, sir? That is not how you operate a place of business. Yeah, he does.

[B]

It's quite disruptive to the workspace, but it's absolutely hilarious. And he. It is. I think to do this, you have to work in a pretty large space because otherwise they can dwindle it down to who did it and why, right? But he will show up at the office, he will curse your boss out, he will read your complaints verbatim and then leave.

[A]

But then sometimes. But then sometimes you see the other workers get people getting upset. You see the ones where he was at, I think a nursing place, and he almost got into a fight with a black girl.

[B]

Oh, yeah.

[A]

He was like, I think she was

[B]

the one who called and she was being in on it with him.

[A]

You think?

[B]

I feel like she's the one who called and she was like, now, let's have fun.

[A]

I mean, I try to think, if I. When I worked in corporate America, when I worked at the Yale Club, would I have done that? I don't think I would have. I don't think I'm that girl. Would you. Would you have done that at Jesus Chicken?

[B]

Yeah. Chick Fil A for sure.

[A]

Would you really?

[B]

That's the only job I had that I would have probably done it at was Chick Fil A.

[A]

What about this? What about the smoothie one?

[B]

Oh, plants with you too? Yeah.

[A]

What about.

[B]

Well, no, I was working there when I got fired.

[C]

I didn't.

[B]

But I didn't know I was getting fired. I trained my. My replacement for three weeks. For two weeks. I had no clue.

[A]

That is when jobs do that. That is hilarious. That is crazy.

[B]

I was just like, yeah, girl, come on over here. You should do this.

[A]

You do this. That's crazy. Would you. Would you. Would you have done a Lucky Changs?

[B]

No, I like Lucky James, but I mean, just Lucky Chains is very.

[A]

You were the queen of bits. You didn't do it just. Just to have a bit of Lucky Changs.

[B]

I would say Lucky Chains was probably the most crooked place I've ever worked in my life. I mean, ever laundry. I've never worked anywhere that crooked in my life. I have never in my life yell at a girl like this.

[A]

I have at 7 rivalry. It's pretty crooked over there.

[B]

Are you going to my show tomorrow?

[A]

No, I'll have to fly back tomorrow.

[B]

Fly back to where?

[A]

To Denver.

[B]

Because I have worked so that. So. So if I go online right now, I can buy a ticket to a show tomorrow.

[A]

It's on Thursday. My show is on. It's on the 15th. Whatever the 15th is.

[B]

So if. But tomorrow. So why you have to be on 14th?

[A]

Tomorrow's the 14th. No, it's not.

[B]

Yeah, it's the 14th all day long.

[A]

Oh, you're right. Maybe I will come to your show tomorrow.

[B]

What do you mean maybe?

[A]

Maybe I will come to Your show tomorrow.

[B]

Can you commit to coming to my show?

[A]

Oh, my God. Not on. Not on camera.

[B]

Will I. I flew to Minneapolis to go to your show, and I flew

[A]

to New York to go to yours to see you.

[B]

And to be clear, you didn't watch the show in New York. To be clear.

[A]

Yeah, and I came to Red Bank. I went to Red Bank, New Jersey, then went to Boston to support you.

[B]

Oh, my God. While the Boston crowd's about to gather you.

[A]

No, I'm kidding. I love Boston. Actually.

[B]

Plane. Jane, gather this.

[A]

I had a. I had a plane.

[B]

Jane, come gather this.

[A]

You know me. I judge places by hookups. I just. I had a great hookup. This was back in work. The world when I did work. Had a great hookup in Boston. It was great.

[B]

I had a really weird hookup in Boston.

[A]

What he do?

[B]

Well, I think he's like one of those anime guys. You know those, like, the anime, like, the anime guys. Like, the. Like, he, like. He looked like. He does like the Naratu run at school.

[A]

Oh, okay.

[C]

Got you.

[B]

Yeah, he had a big. He had a big old. Naruto. What is it? He had this, like, perfect afro. Like, it was like a perfect. Like a sphere, which was very impressive. And he had a really long dingling. I remember that.

[C]

Work.

[A]

But he.

[B]

He was a little awkward. But he was cute, though.

[A]

Do you want to give us his name and address?

[B]

I do not remember his name. And. And I don't think he lives in Boston anymore. Work. Well, pretty sure he moved.

[A]

I love you very much. I will. May be possible, but I find your

[B]

pressure washer guy hot.

[A]

Yeah, I think you would.

[B]

Should I come over?

[A]

I mean, they're literally leaving. He told me to come and check the job so he can go.

[B]

So take a picture. Just send it to me.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

You gonna take a picture?

[A]

Yes, I will.

[B]

You'd be like, get in front of the house.

[A]

I can get a picture on the sneak tube. I'm be like, no, I can take a sneaky picture. I can take a sneaky picture.

[B]

All right, well, you have a good day.

[A]

All right.

[C]

Bye. Bye.