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Monet X Change
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Bob the Drag Queen
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Monet X Change
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Bob the Drag Queen
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Monet X Change
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Bob the Drag Queen
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Monet X Change
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Sponsor Reader / Bob the Drag Queen
My name is Bob the Drag Queen.
Monet X Change
And I'm Monet X Change.
Home Chef and Chime Advertiser
And this is simply rivalry.
Monet X Change
On this week's episode, we talk about burgers and dentistry. And we find out what made Bob say this.
Bob the Drag Queen
I hope he's okay. And we find out what made Monique Nay say this.
Monet X Change
Bob, you're a terrorist. What's with the witchclaws? I did this gig yesterday and they put them on on set. I just haven't taken them off. Cause I just feel a little. Remember when I was in my nail fantasy?
Bob the Drag Queen
Bitch, I was in my nail fantasy.
Monet X Change
Yours lasted for like a month. You kept on snapping them off like twigs.
Bob the Drag Queen
Yeah, but yours are glued on.
Monet X Change
Yeah, those are glued. No, these are tabs, girl. But what do you mean?
Bob the Drag Queen
Oh, wait, they're just tabbed on, girl.
Monet X Change
The lady put me onto these new tabs.
Bob the Drag Queen
Let me thump on. Huh? Let me thump one.
Monet X Change
You can thump one. I'd be like thumping, like. What does that mean?
Bob the Drag Queen
Oh yeah, really? And it won't come off.
Monet X Change
Let's see. We'll find out.
Bob the Drag Queen
Have you seen the video of Ray J being like, they don't break. Ray J. Ray J, he had these glasses, these unbreakable glasses.
Monet X Change
And did they break?
Bob the Drag Queen
And the guy was like. He was like. He was like, these glasses. And the guy was like, you're telling me these glasses. He was like, these glasses will not break. It's brilliant.
Monet X Change
Oh, Speedy. I love Speedy. Frivolous with your products, man. You're slapping the table. They're flying everywhere. You're tossing the glasses. They're unbreakable.
Bob the Drag Queen
Unbreakable.
Monet X Change
They're unbreakable. Break them. Step on them right now. No, you step on them. It's your product. You step on them. Go ahead, Speedy, step on them. I can't do that. You can't. I bet you I could break these. They're unbreakable. They're not unbreakable, Speedy. Don't tell me it's an unbreakable. Listen, don't challenge. Listen. Don't challenge me, Rachel. They're unbreakable. Listen, Speedy.
Bob the Drag Queen
They're unbreakable. They cannot break.
Monet X Change
It's impossible.
Bob the Drag Queen
Rachel is a crazy person.
Monet X Change
I don't care. I just feel like.
Bob the Drag Queen
You feel like this is gonna happen? Like that's gonna happen.
Monet X Change
Wait, before we get into that. Ray J. Ray J is an unwell human being. Did you see the whole thing about his heart thing?
Bob the Drag Queen
No, but I saw him holding up a gun or. No. Okay, let me not make accusations. Something about him. There was a gun involved. There was a child involved. There was a custody.
Monet X Change
This is a little while ago. With him and his ex partner. Anyway, now he has this thing. He got this apparently, this heart diagnosis that he has. He's like this terminal heart.
Bob the Drag Queen
Oh, God.
Monet X Change
Allegedly. And now. So he did this thing the other day, and he is, like, performing. He's like, I have like, nine months to live, whatever it is. He's performing at this thing, and then there's like blood coming out of his eyes. People are like, he like, put. Like to make it look like girl rage it.
Bob the Drag Queen
How are people reacting in the audience?
Monet X Change
People were like, yeah, like, excited. Cause he like, how excited? Cause he's performing. But also like, what the fuck is going on? What are his songs? Girl, Sexy Canna. And he always tells, you have to
Bob the Drag Queen
say they won't fly. You have to be like, they won't come off.
Monet X Change
They won't come off.
Bob the Drag Queen
They won't come off.
Monet X Change
They won't come off.
Bob the Drag Queen
Well, you're being frivolous with your nails.
Monet X Change
You just fly them around, try and flick them.
Bob the Drag Queen
I can't do that.
Monet X Change
They won't Come off, Moni.
Bob the Drag Queen
I can't do that.
Monet X Change
They won't come off.
Bob the Drag Queen
Damn. That's actually pretty gaggy, girl.
Monet X Change
I gotta show. I was like, send me the link. I said send me the link for these things right now.
Bob the Drag Queen
Are they already the shape of nails? See, I have to.
Monet X Change
So the ones we have are kind of square. These are, like, the shape of the entire nail. So it gets your whole nail bed.
Bob the Drag Queen
This what I be saying when I've seen these girls online, being like, my eyeliner, they're going off this, like, waterproof eyeliner. And they're like they're doing something. And I'm like, okay, but what about when you need to get it off, baby? Is the point of eyeliner to never remove your makeup ever? Like, now I need you to show me what happens when I need to get this.
Monet X Change
I can take it off, though. If I really wanted this, I could right now. But they're durable.
Bob the Drag Queen
No, this is crazy.
Monet X Change
I know.
Bob the Drag Queen
And these are just nails. And they put a tab and they put it on there.
Monet X Change
Watch it. Do it.
Bob the Drag Queen
These are not acrylics. They're not glued on. No, this is actually wild. Cause you're the one who put me on the last ones. Shay put you on those.
Monet X Change
Yeah.
Bob the Drag Queen
Well, delighted to be. Put me on the glue dots.
Monet X Change
Oh, yeah.
Bob the Drag Queen
Glue dots and then. Which work well enough.
Monet X Change
Eureka loves the glue dots.
Bob the Drag Queen
The glue dots were fine, but then La mama put you on the Shea. Put you on those. Those ones that we'd be getting. And now there's these new. But I have so many of the Shea ones.
Monet X Change
Well, you see, but you can't buy them in bulk because after a few months, they. They lose their tacky.
Bob the Drag Queen
You keep them in the. In the. In the plastic.
Monet X Change
I do, too, but they. I feel like after, like, a couple months, and I pull them out of the thing to replenish my goat. My bag when I'm on the road. And they're not as sticky, I feel.
Bob the Drag Queen
I mean, mine are still pretty sticky.
Monet X Change
But have you watched.
Bob the Drag Queen
Are you giving him in baby powder?
Monet X Change
Have you watched the blackening?
Bob the Drag Queen
Yes.
Monet X Change
I thought it was really good. I really enjoyed it.
Bob the Drag Queen
Pretty good.
Monet X Change
Can y' all cast us in part two?
Bob the Drag Queen
Jermaine Fowler is great.
Monet X Change
He's very Ivan. Orgy was in in two seconds. But I love Yvonne Orgy.
Bob the Drag Queen
And, you know, I know the guy who wrote it.
Monet X Change
Who is he?
Bob the Drag Queen
His name is Escape Me, but he's good friends with Sidney Washington. Dwayne Perkins. Dwayne Perkins.
Monet X Change
Dwayne Perkins. Is he cute?
Bob the Drag Queen
He's very hot. Dwayne Perkins is a very, very.
Monet X Change
Oh, yeah, he is. He was in the movie as well.
Bob the Drag Queen
Yes, he was work. But he. He gives. Wouldn't give me the time of day.
Monet X Change
Yeah, Dwayne Perkins looked like I would. I mean, okay, his.
Bob the Drag Queen
Gotta be really honest.
Monet X Change
I feel for ma'. He would be like no loser.
Bob the Drag Queen
Cause he's in his little mesh top.
Monet X Change
I feel like now I could have a chance, you know?
Bob the Drag Queen
Or they're just saying, like back when you were like, I don't.
Monet X Change
No, no, no. Back then. I feel like he would not give me the time back then. I feel like now I would have a chance.
Bob the Drag Queen
Do you think. You think he's not into thickies?
Monet X Change
I don't know.
Bob the Drag Queen
I don't know. He gives. Not. He, he. By the way, I don't. I've been Dwayne Perkins. I don't know. I've been Dwayne like a handful of times. And I want to point out he's been lovely.
Monet X Change
I've never met him before.
Bob the Drag Queen
Every time he's been lovely. He's very attractive. There's nothing about Duane Perkins that has ever been shady to me. Not even one time, not even close. Nothing but lovely. That being said, I would never shoot my shot with Dwayne Perkins.
Monet X Change
I would. I would be very afraid to. I feel like I would be.
Bob the Drag Queen
It is very, very beautiful.
Monet X Change
It will be. It will be one of those like. Like you say something like a flurry. He'd be like, oh, yeah, nice to meet you.
Bob the Drag Queen
I just walk away. Very, very. Like, if I. If I was in the DMs, respectful, very sweet. Oh, very. Like, it gives. Like if I was in the DMs, like, like, oh, you look great. He'd be like, thanks.
Sponsor Reader / Bob the Drag Queen
If I'm on.
Bob the Drag Queen
I'm telling you right now, I've said it before. If I'm on Grindr, I compliment you on your looks and your response is just thanks, you are getting blocked.
Monet X Change
Blocked is an aggressive.
Bob the Drag Queen
I need a compliment back.
Monet X Change
You also on this thing of when you post a close friends and your friends don't comment on the close friends,
Bob the Drag Queen
I think you've been removed. If I post a gym update, I think Jacob got removed too. If I post a gym update and you do not compliment me or tell me I'm looking great or that you see my progress, you're out of here.
Monet X Change
Which is crazy.
Bob the Drag Queen
You get three strikes, though, which is
Monet X Change
crazy because you don't ever comment on anyone's closed store. Well, my. Let me talk. I come up with you.
Bob the Drag Queen
You don't ever comment on my friends. I'm not in your close friends.
Monet X Change
Yes, you are.
Bob the Drag Queen
I've never seen one of your close friends. Well, you're never in my. Like, first of all, how I use Instagram is this. I rarely ever scroll through my feed. I click on like the first four or five stories and then I go to the for you page. And that's pretty much it. I don't scroll up and down my page anymore. So if you're not in the first four, that's because.
Monet X Change
See, Mom. Cause you're supposed to. I favorite my friends. People that I friends.
Bob the Drag Queen
You favor people?
Monet X Change
Yeah, I favor people that I want to keep up on their stuff.
Bob the Drag Queen
I didn't know you could favor people, Boomer. But I always. By the way, I'm always seeing these. My IG stories are the same six people. Yeah, it is Bad Kid tv. Quinn Lazenby. He's an actor from Canada. Becky TV Rico. He's the tatted up Puerto Rican he's a part of. He's like brown Latino. Go Go Boy from Anyway. Devin Holloway.
Monet X Change
Oh, your friends.
Bob the Drag Queen
In fact, I can probably check right now who is in my. And I bet one of them is over there right now. And these are the people I see all the time. I don't ever see nobody else. Is this. Cause okay, right now, these people you
Monet X Change
interact with a lot.
Bob the Drag Queen
Oh, Austin Nunes. Dyu Umbriel music Devin Holloway is back in there again. Oh, Salim's in there.
Monet X Change
I love Salim.
Bob the Drag Queen
Oh, Slim pops up a lot too. And Ethan says, hey, okay, let me
Monet X Change
tell you what mine is. Mine is Naomi Smalls. Then Bob the drag queen SZA's Finster. My friend Van from San Diego went to College with Taylor O'Rerer and Jewel Fualo. It's people you see this you comment on a lot or you interact with a lot.
Bob the Drag Queen
I don't comment though. Cause I'm only ever just scrolling through the top of it.
Monet X Change
Do you engage with them on DMs and stuff often?
Bob the Drag Queen
For example, Dyu posted this selfie and then a meme and then this. So if it's funny, react. I'll do a laugh emoji. And I guess because I'm laughing at
Monet X Change
it, Instagram algorithm is like, oh, you like the content show you.
Bob the Drag Queen
Yeah. Also Jasmine W. Oh, yeah. So I guess so here's Bad Kid tv. That's not him. So he. He posts like. I mean, why don't he be posting like his is little dots, you know?
Monet X Change
You know when like, like little dashes.
Bob the Drag Queen
Yeah. Like sometimes it's like long. I mean, literally. Periods literally look like ellipses.
Monet X Change
You know what came on my for you page the other day? Which I'm like, oh, God, is Covid. Does Covid. Does my Instagram think I won Covid content. But maybe it's just funny. The fucking video of y' all for y'.
Bob the Drag Queen
All. Who's y'? All?
Monet X Change
You, Mateo. Marty for Covid. The pandemic. What are you doing? Your Carol.
Bob the Drag Queen
Oh, my Snatch Game disaster. A rotary phone. We do Snatch. Snatch Game.
Monet X Change
And you, Marty did.
Bob the Drag Queen
Marty did Ethel Merman. J. Mateo did Eliza Minnelli. And you did Carol Channing. Summer. Liza. Yeah, Justin did. Justin.
Monet X Change
Justin Summer.
Bob the Drag Queen
Summer did Justin Bieber.
Monet X Change
I couldn't do this. Can you do Justin Bieber?
Bob the Drag Queen
I don't. I don't know how Justin Bieber talks.
Monet X Change
Right?
Bob the Drag Queen
Like, Justin Bieber. I hope he's okay.
Monet X Change
Why do you think he's not okay?
Bob the Drag Queen
Sad all the time.
Monet X Change
He does seem sad.
Bob the Drag Queen
I think he went through. I think he's going through a lot. Whenever I see those videos, it's like him sitting down and, like, grown adult women being like, I want to fuck you. I mean, I'm paraphrasing. They'll be like, if you could sleep
Monet X Change
with one of us, like, when he was a kid.
Bob the Drag Queen
You mean a child? Yeah. If you had to sleep. If you had. No, like, if one of us.
Monet X Change
Who wouldn't say sleep?
Bob the Drag Queen
If one of us had to be your girlfriend, who would it be? And he'd be like, I'm 12. And his response would literally be, I'm 12.
Monet X Change
Yeah.
Bob the Drag Queen
They'd be like, but if you had
Monet X Change
to choose, the adulting of children, especially in that era, was really crazy. They did the same thing to Brittany, to Lindsey, to all the. All those, like, teeny boppers.
Bob the Drag Queen
Hot. Take long nails. Can they be black? It looks so evil. And I. And I wear witch nails. I wear full on witch.
Monet X Change
Your nails are too long. They're dangerous. Your nails are bob. When you.
Bob the Drag Queen
First of all, my nails are on, so if I touch you, it'll fly off.
Monet X Change
And you have the audacity to wear them long nails and have a spike outfit on and be like, come, come, come, give me a hug.
Bob the Drag Queen
I have one spike outfit.
Monet X Change
And you wear it a lot.
Bob the Drag Queen
No, I don't. I have one spike. My.
Monet X Change
The hoodie with the pants.
Bob the Drag Queen
Oh, I thought you. I don't wear that in drag. I would never be wearing that and wearing nails.
Monet X Change
You have.
Bob the Drag Queen
I.
Monet X Change
You did a thing when you were out of drag. Yes, you did wear it in nails. Yes, I came to the show, bitch.
Bob the Drag Queen
You had on that outfit.
Monet X Change
You had no nails. You were in a drag, which you had. You act like you don't wear nails out of drag.
Bob the Drag Queen
Okay? So in my outer drag, I have that spiked hoodie. And then in my. In drag, I have the leather with Lea McQueen, so I have, like, two spiked outfits. You look like. I'm like. I'm always wearing spike outfits.
Monet X Change
I said, but you wear that hoodie out.
Bob the Drag Queen
You look like I'm vivacious or.
Monet X Change
You wear that hoodie often, though.
Bob the Drag Queen
I haven't worn it in a long time.
Monet X Change
Yeah, you used to wear it often.
Bob the Drag Queen
Yeah, I go through rotation that. You know, I do this thing where, like, when I do a lot.
Monet X Change
You're obsessed with my music. Obsessed.
Bob the Drag Queen
Jesus Christ. Obsessed.
Monet X Change
We get it. Rotation is a good song.
Bob the Drag Queen
Okay, listen. I do this thing where I wash my clothes and. And I just put them on top. I don't rotate them. So for three months, I'll just keep wearing the same, you know, five shirts. Because I don't pick the clothes from the bottom and put. Do you rotate your clothes? I'm not shuffling through.
Sponsor Reader / Bob the Drag Queen
I don't.
Monet X Change
I don't. I don't. All my clothes aren't folded, though. They're hung.
Bob the Drag Queen
What is in your drawers?
Monet X Change
My socks. Underwear.
Bob the Drag Queen
How many socks? Underwear do you have?
Monet X Change
Underwear.
Bob the Drag Queen
How many drawers are taken up by somewhere?
Monet X Change
You have underwear. You have some nerve missing 250 pair.
Bob the Drag Queen
But then I'd cover. Then I've taken up all my drawers.
Monet X Change
You what?
Bob the Drag Queen
They're not taking up all my drawers.
Monet X Change
What's that word? Drawers. And what. What is it? What do you think?
Bob the Drag Queen
Draws. Draws. Put on your drawers. Put your drawers on.
Monet X Change
Are you saying with an L? Draws.
Bob the Drag Queen
No, draw like you drawing something. Put your Draws.
Monet X Change
Draws.
Bob the Drag Queen
You got. Draw. You got your drawers all over the floor, but if you say it's only like your drawers are on the floor.
Podcast Producer / Timer
But I would say five minutes to accomplish your task.
Bob the Drag Queen
I did mine. I think I effectively did mine.
Monet X Change
I think I did mine, too.
Bob the Drag Queen
Do you really? You don't think I did mine? I. Oh, now you're Switzerland.
Podcast Producer / Timer
No, I can't comment on it without Eliza.
Bob the Drag Queen
Is it Switzerland or Sweden?
Monet X Change
Sweden.
Bob the Drag Queen
Who's neutral? Sweden.
Monet X Change
Switzerland.
Bob the Drag Queen
So I said Switzerland.
Monet X Change
So you were neutral?
Bob the Drag Queen
No, he's neutral. He was like, am I a cowboy hat growing?
Monet X Change
I don't know if it fits you. I do like this outfit, though. Where is this from?
Bob the Drag Queen
You always ask me that. My answer is always saying, well, you
Monet X Change
need to find out, Bob.
Bob the Drag Queen
We could find out together. You Want to reach into my collar and look. It's probably fashion Nova.
Monet X Change
I don't want to fuck up my nails.
Bob the Drag Queen
These nails. You could fucking go. You can go bowling.
Monet X Change
When I have these nails and I pet Colleen, she starts to fight me because I think she feels like Colleen
Bob the Drag Queen
fights whenever you grab her.
Monet X Change
That's not true. You were holding on to Pixie Bear. She didn't try to fight you.
Bob the Drag Queen
We. I wish you were recording it.
Podcast Producer / Timer
She was recording it. We were recording it. I posted it on Patreon.
Bob the Drag Queen
Freaking out.
Monet X Change
She started to fight you, though.
Bob the Drag Queen
She grabbed my garment with her claws.
Monet X Change
Because you picked her up.
Bob the Drag Queen
No, you see, I picked her up
Monet X Change
and gave her to you.
Bob the Drag Queen
Correct. Oh, but now are you guys lighting or did you misremember you pick Colleen up? You put. I did not pick her up. I love how you rewrote history just now. So do you want to. Do you want to come correct?
Monet X Change
I put it here.
Bob the Drag Queen
Call her nicely. Freaking out. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. She's freaking.
Monet X Change
You look like you're in a I video.
Bob the Drag Queen
Like, because she was freaking out and she was attacking me. She had her claws in my garment, and she was freaking out on me.
Monet X Change
Liza.
Bob the Drag Queen
Is your task to say Liza? No. Why do you keep saying Liza? Are you trying to. Is your task to get me to do Eliza Minnelli impersonation? No, and I'm not doing that.
Monet X Change
Don't do it.
Bob the Drag Queen
So I'm. Yeah, you're trying to get me to do. You're trying to get me to do, like, a Carol Channing or something.
Monet X Change
No.
Bob the Drag Queen
Yes, it is. You're trying to get me to do something, and I'm not gonna do it. You're trying to get me to be. There's no reason. You just keep going, Liza. I do it all the time. You do not. Okay, like I said, when we were dressed up. You're lying. I watched that video so often. That video tickles me.
Monet X Change
Which one is this?
Bob the Drag Queen
It's a video of you swearing up and down that Halloween parties are not costume parties. And then you saying, I've been to many Halloween parties that weren't dressed up. Your exact words, that weren't dressed up. To which I respond, you're lying.
Monet X Change
I have been to Halloween parties.
Bob the Drag Queen
No, you said, I've been to many Halloween parties that weren't dress up. Is the exact. I watched this video probably once a week. You're a sick person. 1. I look stunning in the video.
Monet X Change
You're a sick person.
Bob the Drag Queen
I look stunning.
Monet X Change
Oh, this is when we were in Troyanna Gertrude Yeah, that was a long day. We were troopers that day.
Bob the Drag Queen
You telling,
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Bob the Drag Queen
All.
Home Chef and Chime Advertiser
I used to eat out for almost every single meal and Home Chef has changed that. I've been using Home Chef for a little bit now and it really makes cooking simple. They deliver fresh food with these incredibly easy recipes to follow and the meals actually taste great. I recently did their blackened chicken with remoulade sauce and it was restaurant quality. The best part for me, no long shopping list, no complicated prep and extra ingredients I won't be using. Just wasting. Wasteful, wasteful. None of that.
Monet X Change
It's perfect for those of us that
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Monet X Change
All.
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Bob the Drag Queen
Chime.com disclosures so am I better without the cowboy hat?
Monet X Change
Actually, I like it with the cowboy hat. I think it works with the shoes. I'll keep the cowboy hat on, but
Bob the Drag Queen
am I cowboy hat girly though?
Monet X Change
I think. I think if it was a little lower, why does it feel like it sits a little too high? Yeah, I like that.
Bob the Drag Queen
It's in my field of vision.
Monet X Change
Well, that's what looks best though.
Bob the Drag Queen
And now I can see this hat. Every time I look anywhere, I can see my hat. You know you can always see your nose, apparently.
Monet X Change
Yeah, it's part of your design.
Bob the Drag Queen
You just looking at your nose?
Monet X Change
No, you can. You Can. No. What it is. Your eyes can see your nose, but your brain blocks it out because.
Bob the Drag Queen
Yeah, yeah, you can always. You can always see your nose. Like, your nose is always in your
Monet X Change
field of vision, but you don't really see it, though. Like, I don't see my nose right now. It's blocked on my.
Bob the Drag Queen
When I think about it, I can see it. When I think about it, I can see it. I have to think. And I'm like, oh, shit, there it is.
Monet X Change
That's my nose. Yeah, when I do that, I can see it.
Bob the Drag Queen
You have a cute nose.
Monet X Change
Do I. I want to get it. I want to. I want to get it done.
Bob the Drag Queen
What do you want to get done to it?
Monet X Change
I thought I should just get.
Bob the Drag Queen
Can I guess you want this up a little and going this down a little.
Monet X Change
No, I just want to get. I just want to get rid of this little bump here. So it's just like a slope. Because then I'm in drag and I'm doing my highlight and I get a little bump here, and I'm like, ugh, I wish. I just want to just literally just shave this down so I can have a dis. In drag, which is so crazy.
Bob the Drag Queen
I support you, whatever you want to
Monet X Change
do, but modifying your body so much for drag is crazy. No shade. Brooklyn. She has talked about all this.
Bob the Drag Queen
What about your Twitter?
Monet X Change
I don't think Trinity got it for drag, though. I think Trinity just wanted. She just didn't like what she had. It wasn't like, for drag her ass, I think. But that's what. If you listen to. If you watch Monet talks. Trinity, her trans identity.
Bob the Drag Queen
I didn't watch it.
Monet X Change
And she was maybe battling through that.
Bob the Drag Queen
Not everyone who. Who gets their asses done.
Monet X Change
But I'm saying that's why she got it. She would. Because she was going through a. She didn't know she was trans. She wanted to be trans.
Bob the Drag Queen
Monet talks to get the scoop. Can I know. I know the host of the show. I know the host. Can I just ask the host?
Monet X Change
No.
Bob the Drag Queen
Well, already.
Monet X Change
You already told me, but that's not all of it.
Bob the Drag Queen
What's your favorite episode of Only Child?
Monet X Change
The jinx one is a really fun one.
Bob the Drag Queen
You actually watched it?
Monet X Change
I did watch the drinks one. I like. I like Jinx. I like you.
Bob the Drag Queen
I like Jinx. I said that's what I thought you said. I like Jinx, unlike you.
Monet X Change
No, I said I like Jinx, and I like you.
Bob the Drag Queen
I like Jinx. You know, Jinx. I'm gonna get attacked. Oh, my phone's buzzing.
Monet X Change
No shit. I haven't watched all the broader ones. I don't really know broader people like that. I didn't watch Jessica Voss.
Bob the Drag Queen
Jessica Voss is a great episode.
Monet X Change
I know, but I just. I'm just not into Broadway like that. Like that, like you, like. These are like a lot of people you had on there. Like deep Broadway people that I don't really know much about.
Bob the Drag Queen
It was the Broadway session. The Broadway session's over. I'm no longer a Broadway actor. But was that your timer? I did mine.
Podcast Producer / Timer
No, that was not my timer.
Bob the Drag Queen
I don't know what that was. I want to guess that Monet's was to try to get me to impersonate someone. Either impersonate Carol Channing or impersonating Liza Mino.
Monet X Change
It was Carol Channing.
Bob the Drag Queen
Yeah. And you did not get me to do it.
Monet X Change
I didn't get to do it.
Bob the Drag Queen
But mine was to get you to yell or talk loudly. And I got you to. I got you to. When I asked you how they were filming, you went, ah.
Monet X Change
What?
Bob the Drag Queen
You were talking about Ray J. And I was like, what were they like? And you were like. They were like, ah. That is you.
Monet X Change
You went.
Bob the Drag Queen
And I was like, I think I got hurt. Yeah, you did. You went, ah.
Monet X Change
Jacob is the arbiter.
Bob the Drag Queen
I didn't clock it.
Podcast Producer / Timer
I guess it wasn't loud enough to me to register as something completed.
Bob the Drag Queen
Well, how loud does that be then? Because she did.
Monet X Change
Here she goes. Here she goes.
Bob the Drag Queen
I'm asking. This is important, I think notably loud.
Podcast Producer / Timer
I mean, essentially Monet came in and was like, I need to be quiet today. So loud enough for it to be funny that she said that earlier.
Monet X Change
So we can ask.
Podcast Producer / Timer
We can ask the chat.
Bob the Drag Queen
We can let the Patreons be the arbiter that will eat every time. Let's ask the audience. She. That is. That's the truth. That's the Internet queen. That's one of the Internet queens right there. Some people who just be making moments happen and they don't even mean it. She didn't even plan to be part of the video.
Monet X Change
She sure did not.
Bob the Drag Queen
She gathered him.
Monet X Change
She sure did.
Bob the Drag Queen
There's never been a waiter.
Monet X Change
I couldn't work in food service. Why? She's not for me.
Bob the Drag Queen
Can you give.
Monet X Change
Can you the smell? A lot of people who work in food service, they always complain about how they co. Smell the food after when they go home. I am not interested in walking back and forth and serving food and handling food. I'm just not. I love walking, especially in parking lots. Apparently.
Bob the Drag Queen
I haven't been able to do for a real long time.
Monet X Change
They have one right here.
Bob the Drag Queen
It's not big enough. It goes all the way down there. Not big enough. I need, like, a suburban big lots parking lot. The one over at the Walmart at Burbank. Beautiful to walk in, but I need to be able to walk to the parking lot. You see? You see what I'm saying? Yeah. And I'm not driving to the parking lot to walk around. That's not the vibe. I need to get me a new watch.
Monet X Change
By the way, what happened to your watch?
Bob the Drag Queen
Well, I had the Google watch, right? But I don't have the Google phone anymore, so I have the Samsung watch. I had the Samsung watch when I had a Samsung phone, and then I had a Google watch when I had a Google phone.
Monet X Change
What do you have now?
Bob the Drag Queen
I'm back on a Samsung phone. Oh, in my. In my Galaxy watch. Just. It won't charge anymore.
Monet X Change
My water pick stopped working last night. I was very upset about it.
Bob the Drag Queen
We need to have a conversation about water picks because you and Taylor keep trying to preach the gospel of the water pick.
Monet X Change
I love my water pick.
Bob the Drag Queen
It's the. It's the destroyer.
Monet X Change
What is the destroyer?
Bob the Drag Queen
First of all, here's why I don't think I need to need a water pick. My dentist doesn't use one on me. My dentist uses it. First of all, I need to talk to all dentists out there. This thing y' all are trying to push off as a toothbrush is not a toothbrush. It is a belt sander. It is a power blaster.
Monet X Change
What?
Bob the Drag Queen
It's this thing, and it rotates. It's not a.
Monet X Change
Polish your teeth.
Bob the Drag Queen
Yeah. They're calling. It's not a toothbrush. And this sand y' all are telling me is toothpaste. The grittiest, crunchiest. This is not toothpaste.
Monet X Change
It's good. It gets all this real.
Bob the Drag Queen
I get what it's doing. But, like, if that toothpaste is so great, why don't y' all tell us? Why don't you sell it in the store?
Monet X Change
Because I think it's. I think that it's not medical grooming. I think it's stronger than. I don't think it's something you should put on your teeth every day. I think it's something that dentists can use when you come for a cleaning, but every day might take off too much enamel from your teeth, if I had to guess. You know, I love dentistry. I'm very big into dentistry.
Bob the Drag Queen
So the dentist uses a toothbrush. They Use floss. They use toothpaste. They have. You use mouthwash. I've never been to the dentist, had them bust out a water pick.
Monet X Change
Okay. That's because when they didn't use the water pick. Because when they are first clean your teeth, they use those. You're also not using those tools. The. The pick and the. And the stuff to, like, get. When they, like scraping all the black off. You can't use that.
Bob the Drag Queen
You had a deep cleaning?
Monet X Change
Yeah.
Bob the Drag Queen
Like, were they numb you.
Monet X Change
No.
Bob the Drag Queen
I had an. I recently had a. I've recently had some. Some. Some work done.
Monet X Change
Some does work done.
Bob the Drag Queen
I had a. A crown put on and I had a. And a deep cleaning, and it was so irritating. I wasn't. I was in a bad mood because the deep cleaning took way. It took so long.
Monet X Change
Like, how long?
Bob the Drag Queen
The. So there's two dentists working on my teeth. One came in to do the.
Monet X Change
The deep cleaning.
Bob the Drag Queen
The deep cleaning. And then I came in to do the crown. The crown. And the lady who was in my deep cleaning, she kept saying, I'm almost done. And that pissed me off because she wasn't. And at one point, I said I had to put. I said, I don't believe you. I said, I don't believe you.
Monet X Change
It's so ridiculous.
Bob the Drag Queen
I said, don't tell me you're almost done until you're about three minutes out, because you're. I'm now mentally preparing for you. So when you say I'm almost done. And we're. And that was 30 minutes ago. I'm angry, bro.
Monet X Change
Well, you're a terrorist.
Bob the Drag Queen
I'm angry.
Monet X Change
Making them stop and say I don't believe you is crazy.
Bob the Drag Queen
I don't believe you. I don't believe you.
Monet X Change
Ridiculous.
Bob the Drag Queen
We need to be held accountable for things we say. And she gave me, like, I'm almost done. She basically, like, opened my mouth, and then as she opened my mouth, she was like, I'm almost done. Say, ah. I'm almost done. You're not almost done. It took me about 45 minutes to an hour, maybe two hours to get my teeth clean. I want to say 45 minutes to hours. I don't even know. I was in a daze. And then I got the. Then I had to go do a show with my mouth all numb.
Monet X Change
Was it ggt?
Bob the Drag Queen
No, this was Moulin Rouge. The musical.
Monet X Change
Oh, gaggy.
Bob the Drag Queen
Wait, so, wait, so can you have my purse? Cane? And I have this cute mold of my teeth that I carry around.
Monet X Change
Do you still go to your dentist in New York?
Bob the Drag Queen
Dr. Wilgers? Shout out. Dr. Josh Wilson.
Monet X Change
So you don't have a dentist here?
Bob the Drag Queen
No, I go. I just get my teeth out whenever I go to New York, which I'm there, like, eight times a year, and I don't go to the dentist eight times a year.
Monet X Change
I go to dentist four times a year.
Podcast Producer / Timer
I was recently cleaning, and I found a tooth necklace in our house.
Bob the Drag Queen
It's a long story.
Monet X Change
And it's a tooth necklace.
Bob the Drag Queen
It's a long story. It's a long story.
Podcast Producer / Timer
Sorry. Just one tooth, Like a singular.
Bob the Drag Queen
Yes, A single tooth on a gold chain. It is a very long story that I'm not getting until the podcast.
Monet X Change
Okay, I'll tell you about it later.
Bob the Drag Queen
So this is. These are my teeth for your bridge? No, this is for my crown.
Monet X Change
Oh.
Bob the Drag Queen
So he took a mold of my teeth, and I was like, can I have that? And that crown? That. That temporary crown was. Was in my mouth for about a week. Not about a week.
Monet X Change
Wow. The crowns look really like. They look so real.
Bob the Drag Queen
Thank God.
Monet X Change
P. Can I say this number?
Bob the Drag Queen
Is that like a. I don't know. What is it? I don't know.
Monet X Change
P106. Will just Caldwell. Who's Will? Just Dr. Wilters.
Bob the Drag Queen
Yeah. Dr. Wilgers.
Monet X Change
Which way is it? Is it going this way? The big tooth in the back.
Bob the Drag Queen
It's these teeth right here.
Monet X Change
Got it.
Bob the Drag Queen
And when you get a crown, it is so far. So in my experience, your actual teeth are quite sharp. Like, the little ridges, they're like. But then this tooth is soft. It's just smooth like a.
Monet X Change
Like a. Sort of say, like a. It's like a butter knife.
Bob the Drag Queen
It's more like a textured marble. And my other teeth, like, if I scrub my tongue really hard on my organic teeth, I will cut my tongue. No.
Monet X Change
Yeah.
Bob the Drag Queen
If I scrub my teeth. If I scrub my tongue really hard on my organic teeth that I grew myself, I will cut my tongue.
Monet X Change
No way. I can't do that.
Bob the Drag Queen
And if I scrub my teeth on my fake teeth, of which I now have 6, 7, 8, 9. Which is crazy. Well, to be fair. Okay, so I'm only missing. I'm only actually missing two teeth. I'm missing this one. Nope. I'm missing this one and this one. But they're bridges, so the teeth next to them are covered up. There are teeth under there. So I'm only actually missing two teeth. The teeth I'm missing on Drag Race. Shout out to the camera. No, it's these two here.
Monet X Change
Oh, here.
Bob the Drag Queen
Right here. And then this tooth is like. There's a tooth under there. That shaved down. And there's a tooth under here and
Podcast Producer / Timer
the tooth
Bob the Drag Queen
under there. It looks like a little print in there. Looks like this. Now it looks like that.
Monet X Change
The one here.
Bob the Drag Queen
No, here.
Monet X Change
Oh, there. Okay.
Bob the Drag Queen
Looks like that.
Monet X Change
But the one here. Is this the little sharp one?
Bob the Drag Queen
Yeah, that's a little point. One little point. And the teeth next. I don't know what they look like. I. I haven't seen them in years.
Monet X Change
Got it. Have you ever gotten teeth with teeth whitened?
Bob the Drag Queen
Teeth whitening?
Monet X Change
Oh, because of the.
Bob the Drag Queen
Too many fake teeth.
Monet X Change
Too big teeth.
Bob the Drag Queen
I have so eight of the teeth you see in my mouth that you can see are.
Monet X Change
So if you whiten them, there will be a lot of discoloration.
Bob the Drag Queen
They won't whiten at the same rate
Monet X Change
as my other teeth. That's what my desk was saying. He's like. If you like. He was like. He was like. When you get. If someone gets like whitening the. What is going on? Tv.
Bob the Drag Queen
It's definitely the tv. I think it looks nice.
Monet X Change
He's so damn country and weird.
Bob the Drag Queen
Having teeth is country.
Monet X Change
Just putting your, Your, Your, Your fossil thing just on.
Bob the Drag Queen
They're not fossil. It's plastic.
Monet X Change
The mold of your teeth.
Bob the Drag Queen
Did you know that the dinosaur false you're seeing in museums are usually not real?
Monet X Change
What are they?
Bob the Drag Queen
They're so. They're like. They're not the real bones. They're just like often. Not always. They're often just recreations of a skeleton that is somewhere kept safe.
Monet X Change
That makes sense. I mean, because then if you have them in it oxidize. And I'm sure there can be things that can. That makes sense to me.
Bob the Drag Queen
I don't know.
Monet X Change
Like, why didn't you see the real thing?
Bob the Drag Queen
Because I thought that's what I was looking at. Like, if you heard the Mona Lisa you're looking at is not the Mona Lisa. It's not recreation of the Mona Lisa. No, it is.
Monet X Change
Okay. Yeah.
Bob the Drag Queen
But if you heard that it was not the actual Mona Lisa, what are we doing here? What am I looking at?
Monet X Change
Fair. Fair.
Bob the Drag Queen
So I'm going to Museum of Natural History. I thought I was looking at the actual stegosaurus. I'm looking at a 3D print stegosaurus. This is crazy. I don't. I think that feels like. I'm sure that. I'm sure that somewhere they say that that's what was happening, but that feels like false advertising.
Monet X Change
Do you think for anything you can do, we can do a dentist one,
Bob the Drag Queen
like, as practicing as a dentist? No.
Podcast Producer / Timer
Maybe like a dentist. A dental hygienist. Assistant.
Monet X Change
Yeah, like something like that.
Podcast Producer / Timer
What unlicensed work can we do as
Monet X Change
a dentist, you know, you know, Bob from Atlanta, A whole bunch of scammers. Jay just arrested, like, four people who
Bob the Drag Queen
had, like, these veneer techs.
Monet X Change
Veneer tags.
Bob the Drag Queen
Of course in Atlanta. Of course in Atlanta.
Monet X Change
Fucking veneer techs making up jobs, playing in people's mouths.
Bob the Drag Queen
That's crazy. I got my first tooth done in Atlanta by a fake Dr. Axl. Oh, my Jamaican doctor. Who did my first?
Monet X Change
My uncle.
Bob the Drag Queen
She's a woman.
Monet X Change
Uncle Axel.
Bob the Drag Queen
Dr. Axel is a woman.
Monet X Change
She was a woman.
Bob the Drag Queen
Thank you. You don't think women can be doctor? That's crazy. I said Dr. Axel. Your first thought was, man, that's crazy. Do you want to apologize to women who work in.
Monet X Change
Oh, my God.
Bob the Drag Queen
Dr. Axel. Science, technology, engineering, and math. Oh, Dr. Axel is a science, technology, engineering, math, I guess dentistry. Would that be in there?
Monet X Change
No, it's not science. Oh, yeah, it's not the dental science.
Bob the Drag Queen
So this is a woman in STEM. Do you want to apologize to Dr. Axel? She's probably watching right now.
Monet X Change
She's not watching right now.
Bob the Drag Queen
She is a Caribbean sister.
Monet X Change
Not your Caribbean sister.
Bob the Drag Queen
Axel is a Caribbean sister of yours. And you don't want to apologize to
Monet X Change
Dr. Axel because she's not watching this.
Bob the Drag Queen
Dr. Axel has been a fan of mine since I was in fucking seventh. No, I got my toothpicks in 10th grade.
Monet X Change
And she's been a fan of yours since 10th grade. Bitch.
Bob the Drag Queen
She laughed once. That's what that said.
Monet X Change
That's all Bob the drag queen. Did you laugh at Bob's joke?
Bob the Drag Queen
You're a bobblehead. You laugh once, you're a bobblehead.
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Bob the Drag Queen
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Bob the Drag Queen
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Monet X Change
you want to come clean or do you want to apologize to me now? About what? About in the last episode of the podcast. You were like, monat, no one is watching this video thinking, why am I wearing this jersey? Literally every comment was like, I was going to say, why is my wearing a hockey jersey? That seems more like Monet's aesthetic. Like literally 75% of the comments. Do you want to apologize?
Bob the Drag Queen
No, I never apologize to you.
Monet X Change
What is what a give it is you.
Bob the Drag Queen
Cause you don't apologize to me, so I don't apologize to you.
Monet X Change
I literally last episode I said, I want to apologize to you.
Bob the Drag Queen
Yeah, but it was like something stank on it. That wasn't stank. Something about it was stank. Bucky will be. You know what it is too little too late. That's what it is. I've been asking for probably so long, so now when they're coming, I'm like, I don't want it anymore. At this point, If I order my burger at noon and it shows at 5, I'm not hungry anymore.
Monet X Change
Oh, a good burger would be good today.
Bob the Drag Queen
What kind of burger you like? What are you going through? Just order a burger.
Monet X Change
The bacon bacon burger at Cheesecake Factory.
Bob the Drag Queen
Baby, baby, what's on the bacon bacon burger?
Monet X Change
Bacon. Two strips of Applewood smoked bacon.
Bob the Drag Queen
Two strips of bacon, but thick. It's the thick. Like Canadian bacon.
Monet X Change
No, not Canadian. It's the thick Applewood smoked. It's like not like the thin bacon. It's like this thick.
Bob the Drag Queen
All this over two strips. If I'm hearing bacon bacon, I'm expecting minimum, four strips of bacon. Minimum.
Monet X Change
That's crazy. I'm gonna get a fucking heart attack.
Bob the Drag Queen
And I actually would like for them to be cut into the shape of the burger. No.
Monet X Change
Cause I want extra on the side so I can like. So what I did, I get the burger and I. The four little extra pieces hanging off.
Bob the Drag Queen
So how much bacon do you think is on a regular bacon burger?
Monet X Change
No, but. Wow, these are. These are two. When I tell you they're not. They're like thick. They're like this thick.
Bob the Drag Queen
Like. Are you calling it the bacon bacon? Like the baconator. Imagine the baconator had two strips of bacon on it. Now granted, it is paper thin bacon.
Monet X Change
About to say the bacon.
Bob the Drag Queen
Yeah, it's paper thin bacon. The best burger. Okay.
Monet X Change
Two strips of one smoked bacon, yellow cheddar cheese. They have this sauce on it. I don't know what the sauce is. It's like sauce. It's akin to. You remember the JD sauce from Applebee's?
Bob the Drag Queen
No.
Monet X Change
You never had the Jack Daniels burger from Applebee's?
Bob the Drag Queen
No, I used to work in. I used to work at Applebee's.
Monet X Change
This is why I was. Oh my God. My. My protein drink. This is why I was Chunky McChunkinson
Bob the Drag Queen
present with the protein epidemic. My protein?
Monet X Change
No, because when I drink it like
Bob the Drag Queen
that ocean killer just is typing in the chat right now.
Monet X Change
When I was chunky, big chunk of some back in college, because. And I was wondering why I used
Bob the Drag Queen
to get the Jack Davis burger like at least three times a week when I was. When I was in my 20s, I was really, really thin and I was. I mean, I was.
Sponsor Reader / Bob the Drag Queen
What?
Bob the Drag Queen
Depends. I was going through a lot of phase where I wouldn't eat for, you know, periods of time, which is not great. Yeah, obviously. But when I was eating, which was more often than not, I would dip every bite of everything I ate into ranch. Every bite of my burger is going into ranch. That's what I'm saying.
Monet X Change
I like ranch. I don't like ranch that much. That's crazy.
Bob the Drag Queen
The best. Okay, sorry. The sauce which is akin to the jade. So it's like. Is it. So it's like a barbecuey type sauce.
Monet X Change
It's kind of like a barbecue, but kind of. But like a little sweet. Sweet. But it's not.
Bob the Drag Queen
Barbecue sauce is sweet.
Monet X Change
No, but, but the Jake D, the JD one has a different, like, it's not like a sweet baby ray. It's like a different kind of sweet. I can't explain. I had these little like onion, A little glaze.
Bob the Drag Queen
Is it a little mustardy? No. Is it ketchupy?
Monet X Change
I don't know what that means.
Bob the Drag Queen
Tomatoey?
Monet X Change
No.
Bob the Drag Queen
Thousand islandy?
Monet X Change
No.
Bob the Drag Queen
Is it. Let's just mute.
Podcast Producer / Timer
Is mute. I mean, I, I, Okay.
Bob the Drag Queen
Not thousand island Y.
Monet X Change
No, it's just like a mayonnaise Y. Barbecue sauce. What, what would you say baby raise is?
Bob the Drag Queen
I don't know what baby Ray's is.
Monet X Change
You never had sweet baby Ray's? Is that a delicious barbecue? It's a barbecue sauce. Everyone loves sweet baby rays.
Bob the Drag Queen
I don't really have a, like, I don't know that much about barbecue sauce. Like when I think about barbecue, if I go to the store to buy barbecue sauce, I'm probably gonna go and buy some Heinz barbecue sauce.
Monet X Change
Got it. Yeah. I start doing those because there's so much sugar in those.
Bob the Drag Queen
I mean I don't eat that much barbecue.
Monet X Change
Barbecue. Got it.
Bob the Drag Queen
Like I'm not like real. I'm not. I don't think, I don't know the last time I actually purchased barbecue sauce.
Monet X Change
Cuz. Cuz Atlanta is really like barbecue, right? That's more like Texas.
Bob the Drag Queen
Yeah. Atlanta is more soul food.
Monet X Change
Soul food? Yeah.
Bob the Drag Queen
Tennessee is also barbecue.
Monet X Change
Tennessee, yeah. Tennessee. Yeah.
Bob the Drag Queen
They do barbecue in Georgia. I'm not saying they don't barbecue.
Monet X Change
So is that burger. I would love that burger. But now they have the Skinnylicious burger. That's a turkey burger.
Bob the Drag Queen
I would like to talk about my burger. You did one. And I would like to talk about a burger now.
Monet X Change
Okay. Talk about yours.
Bob the Drag Queen
Thank you. The best burger in my humble opinion is a smokehouse burger from typically the one I had from Ruby Tuesday was great, but I'll take one from anywhere. This is a Angus burger. What is Angus?
Monet X Change
Angus like Kobe.
Bob the Drag Queen
It's a type of cow.
Monet X Change
Like Wagyu.
Bob the Drag Queen
No, I think Wagyu is.
Podcast Producer / Timer
Wagyu is a type of cow.
Bob the Drag Queen
Wagyu is a type of cow? Yeah. So all cows have. I thought you had to do. I thought Wagyu was like. What's the name? Like a. Like foie gras. Like you have to do something to the. To the beast to make it foie gras.
Podcast Producer / Timer
Sorry, it's. It's there. It's specifically from different types of Japanese cow.
Bob the Drag Queen
Yeah. So wagyu is like. Wagyu is like when the beef is fatty, but they're making the cow fat to get all the fat in there.
Podcast Producer / Timer
But it is a specific breed of cow.
Monet X Change
But.
Bob the Drag Queen
Oh, so. So there's like four Angus wagyu burgers.
Podcast Producer / Timer
It looks like there are four different cows. I think so, yeah.
Bob the Drag Queen
What's happening? What is Wagyu like? Wagyu definition? Wagyu.
Monet X Change
Wagyu translates to Japanese cow is a premium beef renowned for its intense intramuscular fat, marbling, buttery texture, and rich umami flavor. Produced from four specific Japanese breeds. Jacob was correct.
Bob the Drag Queen
Got it. So I. So the Angus is a type of cow, I reckon.
Monet X Change
Got it.
Bob the Drag Queen
And anyway, cheddar cheese, yellow cheddar cheese.
Monet X Change
Oh, look at that. That's a big cow.
Bob the Drag Queen
Work. This is like a standard size cow. That's a big cow.
Monet X Change
Okay. Sorry.
Bob the Drag Queen
Angus, cheddar cheese, yellow cheddar cheese, hard cheddar. Like a sharp, hard cheddar cheese. Barbecue sauce. Onion ring or onion crisp.
Monet X Change
I prefer onion crisp more than onion rings. Cause onion rings, when you bite it, they sometimes get loose and then you
Bob the Drag Queen
pull the whole onion out.
Monet X Change
It's too much.
Bob the Drag Queen
I prefer onion crisp, crisp onions, red onions. Like raw onions. Love it.
Monet X Change
Do you like red onions or white onions more?
Bob the Drag Queen
I'm. I prefer. I honestly, I'll take whichever I can get. Okay. I probably prefer the red onion.
Monet X Change
Same.
Bob the Drag Queen
But I will have either one. I. I really feel like every burger needs to have a raw onion on it.
Monet X Change
I agree.
Bob the Drag Queen
It adds so much texture, flavor. It's. It's the unspoken. It's the unsung hero of the burger.
Monet X Change
I would agree.
Bob the Drag Queen
Truly. No pickles. Don't put pickle on my mother. Oh, my God. You like pickles on your burger. I don't like pickles either, but people think that means you don't like pickles. I like pickles.
Monet X Change
Oh, I don't like pickles at all.
Bob the Drag Queen
I don't want pickles on my burger.
Monet X Change
Oh.
Bob the Drag Queen
At all. Because now the burger's about the pickle. The burger's about the pickle now.
Monet X Change
Yeah.
Bob the Drag Queen
And that's not what I'm here for. I'm here for the burger. Lettuce, lettuce, tomato, no tomato. Iceberg lettuce, please.
Monet X Change
What's the difference? Iceberg's like the crispy one.
Bob the Drag Queen
It's crispy, okay. Yeah. And I would like a toasted bun. If I can get on. If I can get a pretzel bun, that'd be great. I'm not obsessed with that.
Monet X Change
Okay. Okay.
Bob the Drag Queen
And that is the. And dipping every bite in ranch.
Monet X Change
In ranch.
Bob the Drag Queen
Every bite.
Monet X Change
That's too much. Just put the ranch on it. Like a sauce.
Bob the Drag Queen
No, no, no, no. Because the. Because what I'm essentially wanting is my entire burger dipping ranch. But I'm just doing it piece by piece.
Monet X Change
Why don't you just put it on as a sauce? I don't get it.
Bob the Drag Queen
The entire. You're not understanding. The top, the bottom, all around. I want. I would like the whole burger to be fully encased in ranch. That is crazy, girl. Which is why when you dip it, you're basically doing that with every bite. That's crazy. And just putting it on there is not nearly enough. Not nearly enough.
Monet X Change
Okay, wait, Jacob, can you pull up a picture of the bacon bacon burger from
Bob the Drag Queen
Cheesecake Factory? Yeah.
Monet X Change
And I want to see Bob Smokehouse. Right? Let me see if I described it correctly.
Bob the Drag Queen
Yeah. See?
Monet X Change
Do you see how thick that bacon is?
Bob the Drag Queen
That's thick bacon. That's thick, girl. What is it at the bottom? Oh, that's that sauce.
Monet X Change
Yeah, I see.
Bob the Drag Queen
Is that a tomato?
Monet X Change
No, that's.
Bob the Drag Queen
I don't know.
Sponsor Reader / Bob the Drag Queen
Ketchup.
Bob the Drag Queen
Don't put a motherfucker.
Monet X Change
No, it's not ketchup. It's something else. It's not ketchup on there.
Bob the Drag Queen
It's a red shit.
Monet X Change
I don't know what that is.
Bob the Drag Queen
And look at that next to your burger. A whole bunch of pickles.
Monet X Change
Ugh.
Bob the Drag Queen
Look at. That's, like 18 pickles. That's a pickled pickle burger, bitch. This is the pickle pickle burger.
Monet X Change
I always say no pickles.
Bob the Drag Queen
The whole. Yeah. Just so y' all know what we're looking at, the entire top bun is completely.
Monet X Change
No, the top bun is behind it.
Bob the Drag Queen
Oh, that's the condiments. That's. Those pickles are the size of the top bun. It's the size of the top bun.
Monet X Change
Yeah.
Bob the Drag Queen
That's the disgusting. That's enough pickles to cover the entirety of the top bun.
Monet X Change
I agree. It's disgusting. I might get this in it. But do you know how many calories are in this, though?
Bob the Drag Queen
A lot.
Monet X Change
1800 calories in a burger.
Bob the Drag Queen
Eat it.
Monet X Change
That's crazy.
Bob the Drag Queen
I just wanted to burger Tuesday. We had this thing Called the baked chicken, broccoli, penne, pasta, whatever. It was. 2,800 calories.
Monet X Change
2,800 calories, you know, So I was watching this thing on TikTok today about these, like, these 10 chains that you shouldn't eat at, and maybe since you worked there, you can confirm or deny Applebee's. The food just comes into a place. They're not cooking that food there. They do. They cook it, like, on the grill there. Well, maybe they used to. Not anymore. This guy did this.
Bob the Drag Queen
What do you mean they're not cooking it?
Monet X Change
Like, the food comes, like, frozen already, and they just basically put it in microwaves. Like, the kitchen. He's showing us behind the kitchen. The kitchen is just a glorified microwave. Is that like 20 microwaves? And they're not. They're not like. Well, you know. You know when you get your steak and it's like, it has the marks on it. They're not grilling it there. The.
Bob the Drag Queen
The.
Monet X Change
The steak is pressed with the grill marks on it beforehand, and they just put in the microwave to heat it up.
Bob the Drag Queen
I know we didn't. My. That was. I worked at. Or at least back in 2004. 2006.
Monet X Change
Yes. Probably changed a lot. 20 years ago, you come in the morning.
Bob the Drag Queen
Not too much.
Monet X Change
20 years ago.
Bob the Drag Queen
She's older than my oldest brother.
Monet X Change
Wow.
Bob the Drag Queen
No, we did not go to school together.
Monet X Change
Youngest brother.
Bob the Drag Queen
You mean she's older than my oldest brother. The quote is. It goes. We know. We did not go to school together. She's much older than me. Not much, though. Not much. We don't have to go there. We can.
Sponsor Reader / Bob the Drag Queen
We can.
Bob the Drag Queen
We did not go. She's older than my oldest brother. I'm 43, to be exact. Well, I'm 43, to be exact. Well, anyway, that's more or less it. So we. We go in the morning, and the prep cooks cook all the sides. Bites.
Monet X Change
Okay. So we're cooking, like, the Mac and cheese.
Bob the Drag Queen
So we're actually. I can't remember. I can't remember if we actually mashed. I feel like we actually mashed the potato. I feel like my job was to actually mash the potatoes.
Monet X Change
That's what. That's. Back when stuff was fresh.
Bob the Drag Queen
They had, like, lumps in them. They were. Yeah, there were lumps in our potatoes. We actually mashed potatoes.
Podcast Producer / Timer
And.
Bob the Drag Queen
And I. We cooked the green beans. So I cook all the sides. So the sides are warmed up because they're all cooked.
Monet X Change
Cooked. In the morning.
Bob the Drag Queen
In the morning.
Monet X Change
Okay.
Bob the Drag Queen
And the burgers.
Monet X Change
Fair.
Bob the Drag Queen
And the burgers are Made the burgers and the steaks are. They're. They're actually cooked. But I will say Ruby Tuesday was pretty much the same, except the. The beef is never frozen. Right. So if you were to say a burger, it is never frozen. That. Not to sound brutal, but that cow was probably killed within the week.
Monet X Change
Well, that's back in the day. I think a lot. A lot of stuff has changed with supply and demand. They're trying to find ways to make food faster and easier and cheaper. I'm sure they're not doing it the same anymore.
Home Chef and Chime Advertiser
Someone.
Monet X Change
If you work at Applebee's or one of these big chain restaurants like Applebee's or Chili's.
Bob the Drag Queen
Comment. And you want to lose your job. Comment.
Monet X Change
Well, do it under the citadel. Wait, can I see a picture of the smokehouse burger now? I'm hungry. Y' all got me thinking about burger.
Bob the Drag Queen
Smokehouse burger is fantastic.
Monet X Change
But where's your favorite one from Ruby Tuesday? Oh, okay.
Bob the Drag Queen
I mean, this is Ruby Tuesday menu 20 years ago. I don't even know if they still have it.
Monet X Change
The Smokehouse burgers.
Bob the Drag Queen
Maybe I'm brought back. I'm brought back. I'm brought back. They used to have something called the. The. The typhoon sauce or the. Or the. They used to have this sauce that you would dip your shrimp in and I would order it with everything. That was my. That was my ranch. That was my first ranch.
Monet X Change
Got it.
Bob the Drag Queen
That was my first ever ranch.
Monet X Change
Typhoon sauce.
Bob the Drag Queen
Maybe it's not typhoon sauce. Maybe it's called Thai food. Ruby Tuesday. It was. It was like. It was like a certain kind of shrimp, and it only came with a shrimp. I love this sauce so much. My manager actually bought me a big bag of it to have.
Monet X Change
Typhoon. Yeah.
Bob the Drag Queen
Yeah. It was Typhoon sauce. Yeah. No, the sweet and spicy chili sauce.
Monet X Change
That's what it was.
Bob the Drag Queen
And it came with the typhoon shrimp. That's what it was. Sweet, spicy chili sauce. And I don't even know if they still have it or not, but that sauce. Woo, baby, that sauce is good.
Monet X Change
You know, I love. I love me the blooming onion from. I might get me a blooming onion today.
Bob the Drag Queen
Can we agree that awesome Blossom is a better name than Blooming Onion? No, I like Blooming Onion better than awesome Blossom.
Monet X Change
Yeah, Blooming Onion feels very sexual.
Bob the Drag Queen
First of all, awesome Blossom, Great drag name.
Monet X Change
I mean, she has to smell like onions.
Bob the Drag Queen
She has to smell like onions.
Monet X Change
She has to smell like fried onions.
Bob the Drag Queen
What's the difference? You smell fried.
Monet X Change
Like fried.
Bob the Drag Queen
Fried food. You're not fried food.
Monet X Change
You know, a hack when you are cutting onions and you don't want to cry, just put a candle. Like, bring a candle, light a candle, and cut the onions next to the candle. The sulfur from the onion goes into the candle, not into your eyes.
Bob the Drag Queen
I don't think I've ever cut onion. I've cut onion.
Monet X Change
You've never cut an onion before at work?
Bob the Drag Queen
I've cut onion, yeah.
Monet X Change
When you're making the 19 pounds of
Bob the Drag Queen
potatoes, I don't think I've cut onion at home.
Monet X Change
You never. I guess you don't cook at home.
Bob the Drag Queen
I don't cook.
Monet X Change
When you made your little Mac and cheese.
Bob the Drag Queen
There's no onions in my Mac and cheese.
Monet X Change
Oh, did you put onion powder in it, though?
Bob the Drag Queen
I didn't. The recipe didn't go. First of all, my Mac and cheese was amazing.
Monet X Change
I tasted it Kim's.
Bob the Drag Queen
So I don't need any suggestions.
Podcast Producer / Timer
What did you think?
Bob the Drag Queen
What was on a scale of 1 to 10?
Podcast Producer / Timer
On a scale of 1 to 10?
Monet X Change
A scale of 1 to 10? Well, I don't like spicy. I don't like, like, buffalo. Like, I don't like buffalo.
Bob the Drag Queen
I don't put buffalo in it. So continue.
Monet X Change
But you made it. It was a spicy chicken, but it wasn't buffalo.
Bob the Drag Queen
Anyway, everything's spicy, not buffalo.
Monet X Change
Okay, then what would you describe it as?
Bob the Drag Queen
It was spicy, but it wasn't buffalo.
Podcast Producer / Timer
What kind of spice?
Bob the Drag Queen
I used the signature hot sauce. The signature hot from Popeyes, which is not buffalo. Buffalo is a different flavor.
Monet X Change
I know, but it's the same. It's in the same neighborhood for me. So I'm like, I'm interested in that spicy kind of, like, flavor Mac and cheese. So for me, that was a deterrent. If it was, like, regular Mac and cheese with chicken in it, I'll be into that. There was chicken in it, but the spicy. I don't want spicy Mac and cheese.
Bob the Drag Queen
I'm gonna be clear. My dish, when I left, my pan was empty.
Monet X Change
I'm not saying that it wasn't good. I'm just saying I'm letting them know
Bob the Drag Queen
that you're biased against what you thought was buffalo. And it's not.
Monet X Change
I don't like spicy. Like Mac and cheese.
Bob the Drag Queen
It cleared. Like.
Monet X Change
Why can't you just make it with chicken?
Bob the Drag Queen
Why?
Monet X Change
Gotta ask. Make it spicy.
Bob the Drag Queen
Because I like spicy Mac and cheese.
Monet X Change
Okay. What about other people?
Bob the Drag Queen
There's other food. This is white bean. This is white bean theory.
Monet X Change
White bean.
Bob the Drag Queen
White bean soup. You're doing white bean soup?
Monet X Change
What's white bean soup?
Bob the Drag Queen
White bean soup. This girl went online, and she Was like, hey, guys, this is a great recipe for white bean soup. And this girl is like, what if you don't like white beans, then bit. This soup ain't for you. So the comment blew up, girl. Like, people are like, I cannot believe you're asking her to make the white bean soup without white beans. Like, move on. This is. This is not the Mac and cheese for you.
Monet X Change
Have you tasted my lasagna soup?
Bob the Drag Queen
No.
Monet X Change
It's good.
Bob the Drag Queen
I thought it was from whole foods.
Monet X Change
No, I made a lasagna soup from scratch. I think it was the Christ. We did a friends giving. I don't think. Not a friends giving a Christmas something. But you didn't.
Bob the Drag Queen
I wasn't invited.
Monet X Change
No, you couldn't come for whatever reason.
Bob the Drag Queen
Was I invited?
Monet X Change
This was like three years ago.
Bob the Drag Queen
Was I invited?
Monet X Change
You were invited. You always invited any of my houses. Act like you have not been asking. So. But I guess you weren't in town look to. Well, here's the thing. Bob's behaving himself today. Cause he doesn't have an audience of 19. When you have an audience here, you have an audience. You're doing a show.
Bob the Drag Queen
So Kane is nothing to you anyway.
Monet X Change
When you have an audience of like Nene and those ladies that you are putting on a show.
Bob the Drag Queen
Who are those ladies?
Monet X Change
Tracy and Claudio.
Bob the Drag Queen
Is that Olivia?
Monet X Change
Olivia Patreon rep or. When Bob is putting on a show today. You're being nice.
Bob the Drag Queen
I'm being myself. I'm always being myself. You're being nice. Nice.
Monet X Change
Do you.
Bob the Drag Queen
What kind of fries. What restaurant has the best fries?
Monet X Change
Ooh, best fries for me. Let me go. What? I don't like. I hate steak fries.
Bob the Drag Queen
Not a big fan. I will have them. Not a big fan.
Monet X Change
I don't like.
Bob the Drag Queen
I don't hate them, though. I don't think I hate any fries.
Monet X Change
People say the in and out. I don't like in and out fries. People say that the reason why we don't like them is because they're real potatoes. And we're used to like the nasty preservative.
Bob the Drag Queen
And I was like, are they not true? True, Right. Because five guys famously uses real potatoes.
Monet X Change
And they'll be like fries in the business. They'll be like.
Bob the Drag Queen
And these fries are from Craig. Craig. You ever see the sign?
Monet X Change
Yeah.
Bob the Drag Queen
Craig the farmer.
Monet X Change
Five guys fries are the best fries.
Bob the Drag Queen
So it's not because they're not real fries. It's because the way they're. They're cooking them.
Monet X Change
Yeah, they're weird. I don't like in and out fries.
Bob the Drag Queen
Maybe they'd be a big bag of potatoes in the front of five guys that says that big bag of potatoes. They still do. A big bag of potatoes. I don't know.
Monet X Change
I haven't been to five guys.
Bob the Drag Queen
You've seen it, right?
Podcast Producer / Timer
I have seen it.
Bob the Drag Queen
It's just a big bag. It's a bag of potatoes. It is like, these are from a local farm.
Monet X Change
Which is a performative or is it real, you think? I don't trust any big business now. I believe them. Pull the wool over our eyes.
Podcast Producer / Timer
I mean, could they technically get sued for false advertising then?
Bob the Drag Queen
Yeah, I think that you. I believe them.
Podcast Producer / Timer
Not that that's stopped people.
Bob the Drag Queen
You think they're making up the farm and everything?
Monet X Change
I don't think they're making up. I'm just saying. I generally don't know. I just feel like with everything today, I just feel like everyone is kind of is trying to get over on us. I don't know.
Bob the Drag Queen
First of all, in n out. Are y' all trying to get rid of fries? Like, are y'. All. Are y' all sick of these fries? Do you not want the fries in your store?
Monet X Change
What do you mean?
Bob the Drag Queen
What In N Out does.
Monet X Change
Is.
Bob the Drag Queen
Do you not. How often do you go to In n Out?
Monet X Change
I go at least four times a year.
Bob the Drag Queen
They.
Monet X Change
Because the line is too long. I want to go more. But every time you buy, especially in the la.
Bob the Drag Queen
Sorry, sorry. Not in and out. Five guys. How have you go to five guys?
Monet X Change
Oh, I. I haven't been recently.
Bob the Drag Queen
I've been telling that about five guys.
Monet X Change
Okay.
Bob the Drag Queen
Are y' all like, they're. It's like they don't want these fries.
Monet X Change
Oh, they give you so many.
Bob the Drag Queen
They put the fries in the thing,
Monet X Change
then they cook in a little.
Bob the Drag Queen
They just. They season it. They season it with fry. They do a little fry seasoning.
Home Chef and Chime Advertiser
I.
Monet X Change
But I love that.
Bob the Drag Queen
Oh, the bag is falling apart. It's so much grease. The whole bottom of the bag is tissue paper at this point.
Monet X Change
So good.
Bob the Drag Queen
You have to hold this bag from the bottom.
Monet X Change
Wait, so who do you think.
Bob the Drag Queen
Now your hand's greasy.
Monet X Change
Who do you think has the best fries?
Bob the Drag Queen
Okay, it's a. It's. This is a tough one because Checkers has great fries. Checkers has.
Monet X Change
They're very crunchy tray.
Sponsor Reader / Bob the Drag Queen
Crunchy.
Monet X Change
Yeah.
Bob the Drag Queen
Checkers has great, great fries. Five guys has great fries. And they give you so many. But when they throw that Cajun.
Monet X Change
The Cajun seasoning on it.
Bob the Drag Queen
The Cajuns, when they throw the Cajun on the fries, the game done change. I like five guys Burgers, but I'm coming for the fries.
Monet X Change
I would agree. So what Andy and I do when we are being real fat girls, we go to In N Out, we sit in the line for three, three business days, get our burgers, then go to a five, guys get fries, and we have our In N Out burgers with our fries and we get it. Then we get dessert from Jenny's.
Bob the Drag Queen
Nothing can convince me to sit in the In N Out line.
Monet X Change
It's so good. Those burgers are so good.
Bob the Drag Queen
Across the street from when I went. When I. I remember on Orange, I went once the line.
Monet X Change
Why is this? So when I was. When I did the Bray Improv and I drove back that night, I passed like three, five guys on the way. And the lines were normal. They were like a little in and out. Yeah, in and out. But in LA county, in and out
Bob the Drag Queen
is an LA thing.
Monet X Change
I'm saying. But in. But down in Brea.
Podcast Producer / Timer
Well, it's also a touristy thing because people come to Hollywood and they're like, oh, we gotta try in and out.
Monet X Change
Right? So when you go outside LA county, they're like, normal. They're normal. But that's not true because the ones in Vegas, too, are crazy too. Tourist destination, too.
Bob the Drag Queen
I would say this, though. Here's another. Here's a good hack for you.
Monet X Change
What?
Bob the Drag Queen
You cannot order raising canes on UberEats. But you can order it through their app or through their website. Baby, you will not. Wait a second. If you order raising canes, be ready to leave right now. Telling you, order it, drive there. When I was in Orlando working on the the Music for Harriet, Kevin Antunes, Shout out to Kevin Antunes taught me this trick. You order it, drive immediately, walk in, walk, grab your shit, walk right the fuck out. You will never be stuck in my line.
Monet X Change
Fine, I've lost it for raising canes. I got sick on it, so now I can't eat it.
Bob the Drag Queen
More for me.
Monet X Change
Yeah. Which I'm happy about.
Bob the Drag Queen
Congratulations, you're the winner of this week's challenge. I really am. And I'm also obviously dipping my fries in ranch every bite.
Monet X Change
Oh, what a cane sauce.
Bob the Drag Queen
I don't dip my. I'll dip my fries in cane sauce. Yeah, I like cane sauce. It ain't a ranch.
Monet X Change
I wish, you know, I. You know how I wish was better, but something that it's. It's a gamble of the chicken's gonna be dropped dry or not.
Bob the Drag Queen
Zaxby's, Their sauce is great.
Monet X Change
The sauce is great. But the chicken, sometimes it's moist, sometimes it's like, the truth is, when you
Bob the Drag Queen
go to Zaxby's, when you go to Raising Canes, when you go to Guthries, you're not there for the chicken. You're there for the sauce.
Monet X Change
No raising canes. What?
Bob the Drag Queen
You're at Raising Canes for the sauce. If Raising Canes drop that sauce, sales are going down. No, you go to Raising Canes for the. And I. And I think this is true of. Of chicken tenders in general. Chicken tenders are about the sauce. You're eating with them. Chicken tenders are.
Monet X Change
The chicken is a vehicle for the sauce.
Bob the Drag Queen
Yes, chicken tenders are not about the chicken because chicken is relatively flavorless. And yes, they're seasoning the stuff. Yes, there's seasoning in it for sure. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's about the sauce. This is why they all have their own signature sauce. Zach sauce, Raising cane sauce, Guthrie's.
Monet X Change
I have my own signature sauce at the house.
Bob the Drag Queen
We don't want your ranch sauce.
Monet X Change
You like it? You look like Monet. That's so good.
Bob the Drag Queen
But I'm saying it's gonna be ranch. It's gonna be. I mean, protein sauce. No, I'm saying it's gonna be protein.
Monet X Change
I've been changing it up.
Bob the Drag Queen
I do want your ranch, but I don't care. The protein's in it, okay? You and the protein, you're in it.
Monet X Change
You can have my ranch.
Bob the Drag Queen
Baby, it smells like ranch. Put it away.
Monet X Change
Okay. Can you do a video for me? I wanna do a YouTube video with you.
Bob the Drag Queen
Okay. What was. Can you.
Monet X Change
We're gonna come over and we're gonna.
Bob the Drag Queen
To your home.
Monet X Change
To my home. Right from my home. And we're gonna get. I'm gonna get a bunch of tenders from different places, and we're gonna see if we can decipher which tenders for.
Bob the Drag Queen
I won't be able to.
Monet X Change
You won't be able to.
Bob the Drag Queen
I can. If you give me the sauce, I can be like, that's this. That's this, this, this, this. I can only tell from the sauce, cuz I've never. You think I'm eating a raising cane's butt naked chicken tender, but you don't
Monet X Change
know what it is from the look of it. I know what it is from the look of them.
Bob the Drag Queen
Maybe.
Monet X Change
But I think Popeyes has a specific look. Zaxby's has a no from looking.
Bob the Drag Queen
Yeah.
Monet X Change
Yeah.
Bob the Drag Queen
You think I'm about to eat a butt naked Raising canes chicken tender. Yes. Booty butt naked. Hell.
Monet X Change
Okay. Okay. I'll do chicken sandwiches from each one.
Bob the Drag Queen
Why Can't I just do the sauce? Can I just have the sauce?
Monet X Change
I wanna do chicken sandwiches.
Bob the Drag Queen
Why would you like to say you can have a sauce?
Monet X Change
Because then everyone doesn't have their own distinct sauce.
Bob the Drag Queen
Who don't have their own distinct sauce? Everyone has a distinct sauce.
Monet X Change
Okay, let me see.
Bob the Drag Queen
Blackened Ranch from Popeyes.
Monet X Change
Shake Shack.
Bob the Drag Queen
Shake Shack has Shake Sauce. Shack sauce. I mean, raising cane sauce.
Monet X Change
Popeye's.
Bob the Drag Queen
Popeyes has the Black Ranch.
Monet X Change
Who else?
Bob the Drag Queen
KFC has the KFC signature sauce. And it's good. I rarely kid. I had it yesterday for the first time in a really long time, McDonald's
Monet X Change
fell off on the selects. What happened to the selects?
Bob the Drag Queen
It was too niggerish. The commercials were too niggerish. They were pandering to black folks with fried chicken, and it was niggerish and it was offensive. Ooh, honey, don't come for my chicken selects.
Monet X Change
You see my chicken selects voice?
Bob the Drag Queen
Yes, y'. All, we're gonna wrap up soon. But you. Y' all go listen to all of our ads. Monet kinda stopped, but maybe like two years ago. Monet, when we read the ads, can you bring up a fake ad, Jacob, real quick, can you do the chicken select voice?
Monet X Change
I don't have a Chicken select voice.
Bob the Drag Queen
Monet. Please, please, just bring up any fake ad, Jacob, and we'll read it real quick as we go.
Podcast Producer / Timer
Oh, gotcha.
Bob the Drag Queen
And I want y' all to see y'. All. I used to be. I had to mute myself cause Monae would do her chicken select.
Monet X Change
My name is Monet.
Bob the Drag Queen
I have an accent.
Monet X Change
But you don't. Cause you don't say this all the time.
Bob the Drag Queen
Everyone has an accent, Monet. Okay, all right. This is how we do our podcast.
Monet X Change
If you want to do.
Bob the Drag Queen
All right, here we go. Support for this podcast is brought to you by Walden University. Ever catch yourself thinking, what if I could go after what I actually want and really make a difference?
Monet X Change
You're not alone.
Bob the Drag Queen
No. Do the real voice. That is hard. Do what you used to do before I called you out.
Monet X Change
Not used to do the chicken voice.
Bob the Drag Queen
Do what I used to go I used to do. All right, I'm gonna be Monet. You do.
Monet X Change
Here you go.
Bob the Drag Queen
Start at the top.
Monet X Change
Support for this podcast is brought to you by Walden University. Ever catch yourself thinking, what if I can go after what I actually want and really make a difference?
Bob the Drag Queen
You are not alone, honey. And this is exactly what I want to tell y' all about Walden University. Uh huh. For over 50 years, baby girl, Walden has helped working at us like you get the W with the knowledge and skills to build the future you want, honey, and make a difference.
Monet X Change
We have to go. Goodbye.
April 29, 2026
Hosts: Monét X Change & Bob the Drag Queen
In this delightfully chaotic episode, Monét and Bob bounce through a whirlwind of tangents, focusing primarily on their mutual love (and critique) of burgers and the ins and outs of dental care. With hilarious anecdotes about drag, personal hygiene, nail glue hacks, food industry secrets, and their signature comedic banter, the duo delivers a fun and relatable conversation equal parts informative and ridiculous. This episode dives into everything from the politics of burger toppings to the merits of water flossers and the indignities of dental appointments, all while questioning the authenticity of chain restaurant meals and the perils of performing with nails and spikes.
"Bob, you’re a terrorist."
(Monét X Change, [01:59])
Sparked during their playful nail banter.
"If I compliment you on your looks and your response is just 'thanks,' you are getting blocked."
(Bob the Drag Queen, [08:00])
"The best burger in my humble opinion is a smokehouse burger..."
(Bob the Drag Queen, [44:34])
"Because the truth is, when you go to Zaxby’s, when you go to Raising Canes, when you go to Guthrie’s, you’re not there for the chicken. You’re there for the sauce."
(Bob the Drag Queen, [60:46])
"The chicken is a vehicle for the sauce."
(Monét X Change, [61:10])
"I hope he’s okay. He does seem sad."
(Bob, discussing Justin Bieber, [12:00])
"If you don’t like white beans, then bit. This soup ain’t for you."
(Bob, white bean soup analogy, [54:48])
"Nothing can convince me to sit in the In-N-Out line."
(Bob, on LA fast food lines, [59:00])
"Do you want to apologize to women who work in...Dr. Axel is a Caribbean sister."
(Bob, calling out gender bias, [35:04])
"Support for this podcast is brought to you by Walden University. Ever catch yourself thinking, what if I could go after what I actually want and make a difference?"
(Bob & Monét, sponsor read with comedic voices, [64:06])
| Time | Segment | |--------------|-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------| | 02:00–04:00 | Nail tab hacks & Ray J unbreakable glasses tangent | | 06:10–07:50 | "The Blackening" movie and Dwayne Perkins chat | | 08:00–08:46 | DM etiquette and blocking for one-syllable replies | | 12:00–13:08 | Drag Race Snatch Game nostalgia; Justin Bieber and child stardom | | 26:30–29:27 | Waterpik debate and dental cleaning frustrations | | 31:25–32:48 | Temporary crowns, missing teeth, teeth whitening downsides | | 40:35–42:00 | Apology standoffs and burger cravings | | 44:34–46:07 | Bob’s perfect burger and the great onion debate | | 56:03–58:45 | Five Guys vs. Checkers fries, overstuffed fry bags, and seasoning preferences | | 61:09–62:04 | Chicken tenders: Sauce > chicken theory | | 63:06–63:21 | Critique of McDonald's "Chicken Selects" advertising and racial marketing tactics | | 64:06–64:44 | Parody sponsor reads—Chicken Select voice-off |
This episode encapsulates the heart of Sibling Rivalry: sharp wit, unfiltered opinions, nostalgic stories, and loving antagonism. Whether you care about drag, fast food, or good dental hygiene—or just want to laugh about all three—this episode delivers a hilarious sample of Bob and Monét at their best.
For fans of drag, comfort food, and brutally honest (and campy) conversations, this episode is a must-listen!