The One About Communication

Summary

Episode Summary: "The One About Communication"

Podcast: Sibling Rivalry
Hosts: Monet X Change and Bob The Drag Queen
Produced by: Studio71
Release Date: March 10, 2025

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1. Introduction to Communication Challenges

In this episode, Monet X Change and Bob The Drag Queen delve deep into the intricacies of communication within personal relationships and professional settings. The hosts explore their own experiences, highlighting the importance of effective communication and the pitfalls that arise from misunderstandings.

2. Personal Anecdotes on Communication Styles

Bob's Reflection on Communication: Bob shares insights into his communication style, emphasizing his tendency to address issues promptly but acknowledging that this can sometimes come off as confrontational.

Bob the Drag Queen [02:01]: "We communicate about communication and we find."

He discusses the balance between being open and understanding others' perspectives while maintaining his authentic self.

Monet's Growth in Communication: Monet reflects on her evolution as a communicator, noting improvements in handling confrontations and expressing her feelings more effectively as she matured.

Monet X Change [26:04]: "I think as I've gotten older I've become a more effective communicator."

3. The Coffee and Laptop Incident: A Case Study in Conflict Resolution

The centerpiece of the episode revolves around a hypothetical scenario where Bob repeatedly places his coffee on Monet's laptop, leading to tension and conflict. This situation serves as a practical example to illustrate their discussion on effective communication and conflict resolution.

Initial Confrontation: Monet expresses her frustration with Bob's actions, highlighting the disrespect felt when boundaries are crossed.

Monet X Change [27:05]: "There's not a permanent ring on here. I really do not. Please don't put your coffee on my computer."

Bob attempts to mediate by trying to rectify the situation, but the interaction escalates due to miscommunication and differing perspectives.

Effective Apologies: The hosts break down what constitutes a meaningful apology. Monet emphasizes the importance of acknowledging feelings without conflating them with facts, while Bob stresses the need for clear acknowledgment of wrongdoing.

Monet X Change [45:07]: "I think an effective apology is acknowledging the feeling in that."

Bob the Drag Queen [48:30]: "I think an apology for me is when you offer atonement, right?"

4. Understanding Feelings vs. Facts

A significant portion of the conversation centers on distinguishing feelings from facts in communication. Monet points out that while feelings are valid, they should not overshadow objective truths.

Monet X Change [42:43]: "Feelings aren't facts. But I do understand that your feelings are valid, but it's not a fact."

Bob shares his struggles with interpreting others' intent, especially in digital communication where tone is hard to discern.

Bob the Drag Queen [41:30]: "I don't wanna have to do the guessing work. I don't want to have to guess what you're feeling. Just say what you mean."

5. Strategies for Improved Communication

The hosts propose several strategies to enhance communication:

• Taking a Beat: Monet advocates for pausing before responding to process emotions and thoughts, preventing reactionary responses.

  Monet X Change [46:17]: "Taking a beat just lets... it brings the temperature down."

• Clear Acknowledgment: Bob emphasizes the necessity of explicitly stating what one is apologizing for, ensuring the apology is sincere and comprehensive.

  Bob the Drag Queen [45:44]: "Like, okay, I put a Red Bull on your laptop, and I'm sorry."

6. Expanding the Discussion: Communication in Relationships and Friendships

The conversation extends to broader contexts, including friendships and professional relationships. Monet shares her experiences supporting friends through challenges, highlighting the role of empathetic communication.

Monet X Change [32:11]: "Arcia and I have been friends for 17, going on 18 years now."

Bob discusses the importance of effective communication in maintaining strong relationships, especially when misunderstandings occur.

Bob the Drag Queen [45:54]: "I want to do a book club. I want to relaunch my book club."

7. Light-Hearted Interludes and Audience Engagement

Interspersed with serious discussions, the hosts engage in playful banter and hypothetical scenarios to illustrate communication dynamics humorously. They also touch upon cultural references and personal interests, adding depth and relatability to their dialogue.

8. Conclusion: Emphasizing the Value of Effective Communication

The episode wraps up with both hosts reiterating the importance of clear, honest, and empathetic communication. They encourage listeners to actively practice these skills in their daily interactions to foster healthier and more understanding relationships.

Monet X Change [47:36]: "Thank you for being my best friend."

Bob the Drag Queen [47:36]: "Thank you for keeping... Thank you for making me a better person."

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Notable Quotes with Timestamps

• Bob on Communication Style:

  "I think I'm a very effective communicator." [25:06]

• Monet on Maturity in Communication:

  "As I've gotten older I've become a more effective communicator." [26:04]

• Bob on Apologies:

  "An effective apology is acknowledging the feeling in that." [45:07]

• Monet on Feelings vs. Facts:

  "Feelings aren't facts. But I do understand that your feelings are valid, but it's not a fact." [42:43]

• Monet on Taking a Beat:

  "Taking a beat just lets... it brings the temperature down." [46:17]

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Key Takeaways

• Self-Awareness: Understanding one's own communication style is crucial for effective interactions.

• Empathy: Acknowledging and validating others' feelings without letting emotions distort factual truths.

• Clarity: Clear articulation of thoughts and feelings prevents misunderstandings and fosters trust.

• Conflict Resolution: Taking time to process emotions before addressing conflicts can lead to more constructive outcomes.

• Continuous Improvement: Both hosts highlight the importance of evolving communication skills over time to maintain and strengthen relationships.

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This episode of Sibling Rivalry offers a candid exploration of the complexities of communication, enriched by personal stories and practical advice. Monet X Change and Bob The Drag Queen provide listeners with valuable insights into fostering healthier, more meaningful interactions in various aspects of life.

Transcript

[Bob the Drag Queen]

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[Monet X Change]

Credit.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

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[Monet X Change]

Get started today and see how you.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Can avoid the void and reach the right buyers with LinkedIn ads. Even give you a $100 credit on your next campaign. Get started at LinkedIn.com results, terms and conditions apply. My name is Bob the drag Queen.

[Monet X Change]

And I'm Money x Change. And this is sibling rivalry. On this week's episode, I ruined one of Bob's most priceless dresses.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

We communicate about communication and we find.

[Monet X Change]

Out what made Bob say this.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I'm also not interested in getting diagnosed because I think I'm doing fine. And we find out what made Monet say this.

[Monet X Change]

I was not drunk.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

All right, let's do a quiz. Jacob, you named the show and me and Monae were trying to name the theater that it is playing. Don't. I'm going to lose this crazy. We're trying to get money. We're on teams. We're not. It's not against each other. We're on teams. We're on a team.

[Monet X Change]

I have nothing to contribute to this group.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

You're just try to contribute Monat. Let's do this together. Come on, Jacob, hit it. But only the only the old shows now.

[Monet X Change]

But Jacob has to comp we have to talk. J. Has to, like, compile the list now.

[Jacob]

Yeah.

[Monet X Change]

Give me one second, y'all. Bob will spring a game on Jacob.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

In the middle of it. We're on the same team. No one's losing, baby. You're my teammate.

[Monet X Change]

No one's saying that. We're saying, you know, Jacob doesn't like being put on the spot. You're like, all right, Jacob, I need a list of all the US Presidents ailments, their sicknesses, and any disease they had between 1917 and 4907.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

All I said was, what theater are these shows at? You're acting like. I asked, what was Alexander Hamilton's 15th word that he ever spoke in life?

[Monet X Change]

I'm surprised you didn't. Um, we were just before this. I was. What is up with me in live shows? This happens to me all the time. This happens to me. When I came back at last when I was in New York to go see Sunset Boulevard, Nicole Scherzinger called out that day. This happened when I was chasing Chelsea Handler around just to go see her show. Now I'm here in New York. I came here, literally, to come see Gypsy. I came here tutor to come see Gypsy musical. The whole cast is sick today, so they're not doing the show today.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

How do you think your fans feel when you cancel your shows?

[Monet X Change]

I never cancel a show. You never? When I cancel a show, I think fans get upset and lucky, and I am not, by the way, karma. They are well with me the right to be upset.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

You should have known better.

[Monet X Change]

They're well within the right to be upset and annoyed 100%. And just like, I am entitled to be annoyed and 100% right now.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Monae and I were at a party, and this guy came up to her, and he said, monet, I met you at DragCon back in 2018, and you took a picture, and your team said you would email the pictures out. And I never got my picture. And what I said was, monet, so you should either take a picture with this guy now or give him $10. Monet didn't either. Monet offered him a hug because it.

[Monet X Change]

Wasn'T for you to decide. I asked him. When you said that, I was like. I said, no. I was like, what do you want?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

He said.

[Monet X Change]

He said, I don't want nothing.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

That's not what he said.

[Monet X Change]

What he say?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Monet didn't offer anything.

[Monet X Change]

What did he say?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Mon didn't offer anything. He said, this way. He said, monet, I got a bone to pick with you. I've Been telling everyone this party, and I'm mad at you. Monet said, why are you mad at me? And then he told us what I just said. And then I interjected. I said, and you either owe him $10 or a picture right now. Take a picture right now.

[Monet X Change]

Or give him $10 to respond to that.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

But. But you didn't offer him anything. You. All you did was took your arms out for a hug. He said, I don't need no say or a hug.

[Monet X Change]

He said, I don't want no picture. He said, I don't want no picture.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

And he wanted dollars.

[Monet X Change]

And he said. And he said. He said, I don't want no picture.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Yeah, say that. And he didn't say, oh, my God.

[Monet X Change]

He. He.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

He.

[Monet X Change]

I think he tagged me on Instagram. I don't remember his name, though. He absolutely said, I don't want no picture. I don't want no $10. I was like, ooh, okay. And then.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I don't remember that part.

[Monet X Change]

And then we. Kiki. Yes. We won 100%.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Did man just give him $10? It's $10. Give him back his.

[Monet X Change]

He's saying he don't want no $10. He don't want no. And. And no, he's not gonna. He's not getting $10.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

You took something from him.

[Monet X Change]

You offered him a thing from him. Let's be very honest.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

You took $10 and you gave him nothing.

[Monet X Change]

I took anything from him.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Someone at your company took $10, and you offered him nothing in return.

[Monet X Change]

Yeah, Correct. And then I gave him a hug, and we spoke it down, and he was very grateful for the interaction experience we had.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

You should want to rectify it and give him $10.

[Monet X Change]

I did rectify it. We had our moment, and we shared a time. He was very happy with what happened at the party.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

He was drunk.

[Monet X Change]

He was not drunk. He seemed very happy.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

He was drunk. He was drunk. Even him, he was drunk.

[Monet X Change]

By that time later, when I was speaking with the person, they were not drunk.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

He was drunk.

[Monet X Change]

He was drunk.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I promise you, he was drunk. When he was drunk, when he was talking to me, he was like, I'm a little drunk, or else I wouldn't even be doing this. That's, like, the first thing he said to me. He goes, I'm not gonna lie. I'm geeked. I'm gagged. You're my favorite drag queen. And I am a little drunk. That's like.

[Monet X Change]

He didn't seem drunk to me. And him and I had a lovely interaction. And he said, you were drunk.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Too.

[Monet X Change]

I was not drunk.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Sorry. Wasted.

[Monet X Change]

Sloshed is probably the proper term.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I was sloshed.

[Monet X Change]

I was throwing up.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I was on her. Monet had $10 on her.

[Monet X Change]

I had more. I probably had $100 on me, actually.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

And you just wouldn't give this man his $10? Correct. Why?

[Monet X Change]

Because I don't want to.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

That seems so shady to me.

[Monet X Change]

Beep, beep. Bada bada, beep, beep.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Okay, Jacob, do you have these theaters in these shows? We can do this. Monet, come on. You are.

[Monet X Change]

What is this? Who wants to know?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I like games about this. I like games.

[Monet X Change]

But if I took a response, the answer is no.

[Jacob]

Yes. Okay, What?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

The answer is yes. Where was.

[Jacob]

When was the opera running at?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Ooh, femme opera. It was on 42nd.

[Monet X Change]

No, it was not.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Are you sure? What's your reason?

[Monet X Change]

It was never on 42nd Street. It was like, 43rd or 44.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Which one was it, Jacob?

[Jacob]

Oh, I know the theater. I don't know the street.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

It was on the Majestic.

[Monet X Change]

Oh, my God.

[Jacob]

That's right.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Gang, gang.

[Monet X Change]

And what street is it Majestic on? It's definitely in 42nd Street.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I don't know, but I knew the theater, though. Which is. Which is pretty. Monday, we did it. We got one.

[Jacob]

They're showing me the Hollywood Majestic.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Ugh. Okay, we got one, right?

[Jacob]

Monet, you, theater is on 44th.

[Monet X Change]

I knew it.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Great. See, you helped me by telling me what street it was on. See, we did it together.

[Jacob]

Where is Hamilton playing?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Hamilton, I want to say, is on 52nd or 51st, so I'm guessing theaters or street names. I need to do it in chunks.

[Monet X Change]

Yeah, just gather her.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

So Hamilton's on 51st, right?

[Jacob]

I don't know. I just have the theater. I don't have the address.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

For all I want to say it is at the. I don't. No, it's at the. The. Where was Dreamgirls?

[Monet X Change]

The Pearl. It's at the Pearl Theater.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

No, Dreamgirls was at the Imperial.

[Jacob]

Let me look.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I believe that Hamilton is at the same theater Dream Girls at. And I believe it's the Imperial Theater.

[Jacob]

Dream Girls did premiere at the Imperial Theater. That is correct. That is not the theater Hamilton is currently running at.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Oh, which one is Hamilton?

[Jacob]

At the Richard Rogers Theater.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Okay, let's do two more.

[Jacob]

Okay.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Richard Rogers.

[Jacob]

I knew that in the Heights.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

That's in the Heights. Premiered uptown at the United.

[Jacob]

What was on. On Broadway, though?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Wow.

[Monet X Change]

Theater.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

No, no. I don't know what was in the height.

[Jacob]

It was the Richard Rogers Theater. Again, wow.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

All Right. One more. Monet's probably gonna be Richard Rogers. One more.

[Jacob]

Okay. Where is the Lion King currently going?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

The Minsk Off.

[Jacob]

That is correct, Bob.

[Monet X Change]

The Minsk Off.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Okay, one more. I want to do one more. I should stop at 50. 50. One more. One more.

[Jacob]

Okay, Reynes.

[Monet X Change]

Ooh, the Seldom Theater.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Wait, the new one or the original?

[Jacob]

The original.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

La Sylma said no. Les Mis was at the Winter Garden.

[Jacob]

Nope.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

No. Mamma Mia. Was at the Winter Garden. Les Mis was at the Richard Rogers.

[Jacob]

Nope.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Where was it?

[Jacob]

The Imperial.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Fuck. Okay. That was fun for me. Monet. We did a good job.

[Monet X Change]

I did not do anything. We didn't do anything, Monet.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Participate.

[Monet X Change]

We didn't do anything.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Nigga.

[Monet X Change]

I tell you, I want to play this game.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I play a little games. I want to play.

[Monet X Change]

What? Like what?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I play a little reindeer games.

[Monet X Change]

Anyway, what are Reindeer Games?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I'm assuming that Reindeer Games is probably, like, fetch is probably a reindeer game, I think.

[Monet X Change]

No, when someone talks about reindeer Games, like, I don't want to play reindeer games, it means something specifically like, oh.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Like, I'm not playing. I'm not playing games with you. Like, I'm not playing these reindeer games. I've only ever heard Todrick hall say Reindeer Games.

[Monet X Change]

There was a movie called Reindeer Games, right?

[Jacob]

No, there's a movie. I mean, baby reindeer.

[Monet X Change]

No, there's a movie called Reindeer Games. I'm pretty sure.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Oh, yeah.

[Jacob]

Reindeer Games. Homecoming. This looks like it is a. Let's see. Sparks fly between a Vermont biology teacher and her high school crush as they compete in holiday fundraising tradition.

[Monet X Change]

No, I'm talking about the Ben Affleck.

[Jacob]

Movie, which Shawty just released from prison. Rudy Duncan wants to start a new life with Ashley Charlize Theron, the girl of his dreams whom he met through pen pal letters in prison. But between them and Happy stands her crazy brother and his motley crew of deadly criminals who think Rudy has some inside information about a casino where he once had a job.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Okay, that was not what I was picking for a movie called Reindeer Games.

[Monet X Change]

Yeah, I remember the Reindeer Games movie. It was wild and I guess, yeah, Reindeer Games are playing Follow the Leader.

[Jacob]

This says Reindeer Games is occasionally used in speech to describe a group activities that unfairly discriminate against participants.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Oh, they're Reindeer Games. If the rules of the game are unfair, is there something. Is there a fire in front of you?

[Monet X Change]

No, I don't have my light enough. Was I looking too dark before? Jay's gonna be like, monet, what are you doing?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

But, like, I'm saying it now what are you doing?

[Monet X Change]

Okay, I guess what I'll do is go back to this then.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Yeah, this is better. Okay, y'all just moved to the window.

[Monet X Change]

I am bitch. I bitch. The sun sets at 1 o'clock nowadays.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

And it is New York. It's probably Gloomy, Bloomy, and Doomy over there, girl.

[Monet X Change]

Gloomy, Bloomy and Doomy.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Those are Santa's new reindeer. On Bloomy, on Gloomy, on Doomy. Can you name all the reindeer?

[Monet X Change]

Rudolph, Prancer, Vixen, and Dancer.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Donner.

[Monet X Change]

Goner.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

There's Dasher and Dancer and Prancer and Vixen, Comet and Cupid and Bo. There's only two more. There's only two more left.

[Monet X Change]

There's a one. Is a planet like Jupiter or something.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Comet.

[Monet X Change]

Oh, that's a comet planet.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

And Pluto. Pluto?

[Monet X Change]

No, not a ranger.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

There's Donner and Dancer and Prancer and Vixen, Comet and Cupid and so in. And Nixon. Who are the two I'm missing?

[Jacob]

I don't know. Well, first of all, one of them is Rudolph.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Yes, I said that.

[Jacob]

And then Dasher.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Uh huh.

[Jacob]

Prancer, Dasher, Dancer, Prancer, Vixen, Comet, Cupid, Donner, Blitzen, Rudolph.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Oh, we got them all.

[Jacob]

Yeah, I think you just were doing them out of order and you both got different ones.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Yeah. Monet, we did it again. We are so good at trivia. Monet, Monet.

[Jacob]

Can you name all the planets in the solar system?

[Monet X Change]

Yes, they did. Who is knocking on my door? Yes.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Yeah. Monet is going through. Monet is fighting for her life. The lights are out. The sun's going down. People, people, people knocking on the door. Monet is over here, y'all, fighting for her life in these streets.

[Monet X Change]

Because my feet hurt. I want to do I'm borrowed time with the light. I just keep.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

You also know you. You Basically go to YouTube, right? Type in white screen, and then you won't be able to see me, but it will shine a very light, a bright light in your face. Like, I type in white screen for 10 hours, and then you turn off the brightness and it, like, puts a bright light in your face. Do you see that?

[Monet X Change]

I've done that before. If I go to like.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Like this. Is that. Is that your screen? Yeah, yeah, you can do that.

[Monet X Change]

Jay's gonna be like, monet, I have wor. I have changed colors 49 times on this call.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Well, Monae, you're doing the best you can with what you have, okay? We're not gonna judge you. You're doing the best you can with what you have. Your show got canceled. Yo, Monae's show got.

[Monet X Change]

Oh, my God. I forgot about that. I'm so annoyed.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

They're knocking on the door. The lights are out. The show's canceled.

[Monet X Change]

She don't like that shit. So, like, I came here to come see fucking Gypsy, and now I can't see. Oh, my God.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Which.

[Monet X Change]

How is it still be able to call Gypsy? Let's talk about this a year.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Talking about what with me, like, that's.

[Monet X Change]

Still the name of the show Gypsy.

[Jacob]

I mean, that's her name. That's the name of the actual person. Gypsy.

[Monet X Change]

I know, but this doesn't make it less problematic.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I mean, having someone named be Gypsy is. Is, you know, I don't know. I'm not. You know, I'm not a gypsy. I don't really have a horse in this race, so I'm not gonna.

[Monet X Change]

Or.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I don't even know if they call themselves Gypsies. Is that the worst to say?

[Monet X Change]

You know how you say I'm not a gypsy?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Do they call themselves Gypsies? Am I using a Slurpee?

[Jacob]

Yes.

[Monet X Change]

I don't know.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Wait, they do call themselves Gypsies.

[Jacob]

I mean, I. Okay, I'm not, like, the expert on this, so, like, maybe we should just cut this or not do this. The general name of the people is Romani. I think that's like, the name that of the people. I don't know how people within that community use or don't use the slang, but that is not the proper way to refer to the community in general.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Okay, well, I apologize. I am not Romani. So I. So what I'm saying is, honestly, I don't have a horse in this race, and as a person who is not Romani, I'm just going to say I don't know if it's offensive, but maybe someone here can let us know if you find that term to be offensive.

[Monet X Change]

I mean, these are. These are honest conversations we're having. We're not. We're not. We're not trying to offend. We're having an honest thing about that. Probably a lot of people don't know. So if you are that experience, please comment below and so you can educate us on what's appropriate.

[Jacob]

Gypsy Rose Lee, the burlesque performer's real name was Jacob.

[Monet X Change]

Would I stop screaming? His name is her name.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

You said the name of the musical.

[Jacob]

Her name was Rose, so I assume she took that name on performing. I don't know how she arrived to that name. And if it was Under a problem. Like if that choice in the name was problematic. It probably was. But I mean, that also is the name of the show.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

There was a person from that ethnicity on Drag Race, but she ended up passing away. Her name was Cherry Valentine. Cherry Valentine. Oh, yeah, she passed during COVID but she was of that ethnicity.

[Monet X Change]

Well, you know, they have a lot of sports team have to end up changing their names too. Like you have like the Kansas City. They're not the Chiefs anymore. They're the Kansas City something now.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Oh, girl, I don't know if I think Atlanta still calls themselves the Braves, which is crazy. And do you know what they do at the games?

[Monet X Change]

Oh, the Tomahawk Chuck. Whatever it's called Chop the Tomahawk child. That's crazy.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

It's. Girl, we all did it as a kid. We all did it. It was insane. We all did it. The entire stadium, even people at home watching. Everyone in Georgia did it. They made me implicit in their harmful rhetoric.

[Monet X Change]

Like, that's like y'all. That's like, that's like a team being like, oh, we're the Chicago Negro faces the Chicago Black Skins. Like that's crazy.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

There are teens called black skins where not anymore gag.

[Monet X Change]

Because they have the Washington State, the Washington Redskins.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

But what about the Alabama White Devils?

[Monet X Change]

Is that, is that a real thing? No, but about to say that's real.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Welcome to say the Alabama Klansmen.

[Monet X Change]

Hello. Damn.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I mean. Well, I'll tell you more thoughts about people changing their names when I get back.

[Monet X Change]

Some nights, deciding what to eat feels harder than choosing what to watch. You scroll through recipes, debating ordering takeout, and before you know it, you're eating another bowl of cereal at 10pm this story is very familiar to one such as Monet X Change, but this is where Home Chef comes in. Home Chef delivers fresh ingredients and Chef designed recipes straight to your door so you can skip the stress of meal planning and grocery shopping. And unlike other meal kits that claim to be easy but require a million steps before you can eat your food in peace, Home Chef keeps it simple. They offer over 30 meal options a week to fit your lifestyle. Whether you want classy meal kits with pre portioned ingredients, quick 30 minute recipes, oven ready meals, or even microwavable options for the nights when you just can't be bothered. They even have a dedicated family menu to make dinner time easy for everyone.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

And listen, if you're someone who struggles with meal planning, because literally. Same here. Home Chef's new five ingredient meals are a total game changer. Just five fresh pre portioned ingredients and easy steps. That's it.

[Monet X Change]

The users of leading meal kits have rated Home Chef number one in quality, convenience, value, taste and recipes.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

So if you're ready to make dinner time easier and actually enjoyable, now is the perfect time to try Home Chef. For a limited time, Home Chef is offering our listeners 18 free meals, y'all. Free meals plus free dessert for life and free shipping on your first box. Just go to home chef.com rivalry that's home chef.com rivalry for 18 free meals and free desserts for life. Home chef.com rivalry now you must be an active subscriber to receive the free desserts. Don't get cute Foreign let's be real Finding a therapist shouldn't feel like another stressor. But between searching for the right provider, dealing with wait lists and figuring out insurance, it can feel very overwhelming. That is why RULA exists to make high quality, affordable mental health care easy and accessible for everyone. With Rula, you don't have to struggle to find the right therapist. They match you with licensed professionals who fit your needs, preferences and ding ding ding insurance so you can get the care you deserve without having to sit in Luigi Mangione okay, and the best part is they accept most major insurance plans with average co pays as low as get ready for it $15 per session.

[Monet X Change]

Rula doesn't just connect you with a therapist and leave you on your own. They're with you throughout your mental health journey. Make sure you're matched with the right provider, helping you schedule appointments and even tracking your progress. Every therapist is carefully vetted so you know you're in good hands with someone who's committed to helping you make real progress. Getting started is very simple y'all. Rula asks you a few questions about what you're looking for. Then they provide a list of licensed in network therapists who match your needs. You can book your first session and meet with a therapist as soon as the next day. No long wait list, no endless searching. Just real effective care. If you've been thinking about therapy, now is the time to start. Not tomorrow, not next week, not on your birthday, but now.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

No day but two days.

[Monet X Change]

Literally thousands have already trusted RULA to support them on their journey to better mental health. And you can too.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Head over to rula.com rivalry to get started today. After you sign up, they ask you where you heard about them. Please support our show and tell them our show sent you. Go to r ula.com rivalry and take the first step toward better mental health Today. You deserve quality care from someone who cares. So I'm from a town called Columbus, Georgia, and we used to have a military base there called Fort Benning. It's not called it anymore because it was named after. I think, apparently it was named after some person who may have not been savory. And now it's called Fort Moore. I want to say. I think. But they're changing names all the. I don't even. They're changing. All up in Georgia is full of these things. Full of these names, honey.

[Monet X Change]

Yeah, I'm sure, girl. I'm sure. I mean, it's fucking. It's the South. It's problematic as fuck.

[Jacob]

Oh.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Cause the north is so good.

[Monet X Change]

I mean, in terms of things like that, we don't. I mean, we don't have anyone think of thing like that. That was crazy.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Oh, you didn't.

[Monet X Change]

What sports teams we got up here? The Giants. The bra. No, the Giants. The Jets. The Nets.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Yeah, the Nets. That's about the coarseness of black people's hair. Our hair is so net.

[Monet X Change]

No, it is not.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Black people play basketball and our hair is so coarse, it looks like a net.

[Monet X Change]

That's not true.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

And you think that's okay.

[Monet X Change]

That's not true.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

But you think it's okay.

[Monet X Change]

I mean, is the Celtics a little problematic because about Celtic people or like.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Because it's like a leprechaun or like the Fighting Irish?

[Monet X Change]

Because. Yeah, because the Celtic is like a leprechaun on the mascot, Right?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Yeah. With his dukes up, I think.

[Monet X Change]

Yeah, maybe that one is a problematic one.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

There's a statue of Harriet Tubman in Harlem right near the Magic Johnson Theater. I used to love walking by the statue. I was obsessed. By the way, I would love for you all to go and purchase my book. For pre order right now, you can go to readthedragqueen.com and pre order yourself a copy of Harriet Tubman Live in Concert, a novel by Bob the drag queen Harriet Tubman.

[Monet X Change]

I started reading your book today, actually.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Did you really?

[Monet X Change]

Yeah.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

How far did you make it?

[Monet X Change]

About to page 20. I just did a while right before we took off. When I sat in my seat, I was like, oh, okay. Then I started getting sleepy.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

You got any thoughts?

[Monet X Change]

I think it's good so far.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

That's it. I read the book.

[Monet X Change]

It's good so far. Do you want to give you a page by page critique of what I've read?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I want a compliment and I would like an endorsement.

[Monet X Change]

Girl. Y'all, the first 20 pages are great. The first 20 pages are great. Bob's done a great job. I'll have my full thoughts when I read the whole book so I can tell y'all the realty.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I want to do a book club. I want to relaunch my book club. When the book comes out. I actually might do the Good Lord Bird first by James McBride, I want to say is his name, which is another historical fiction book, but this one's about John Brown, the abolitionist John Brown. Do you know the John Brown song?

[Monet X Change]

No, I don't, but I know there is one.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

John Brown's Body Lie, Emulsion in the Grave.

[Monet X Change]

Yeah. No.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Do you know?

[Monet X Change]

I know I am Henry viii. I am.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I'm trying to remember the. I'm trying to remember the person who wrote the song Camptown Races, and he wrote a bunch of songs like that. And his name is. His name is. Oh, my God. I'm gonna be so mad because I'm gonna look it up.

[Jacob]

I have it here.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

When you want it, give me the first letter.

[Jacob]

S. Set.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

So I can't remember it.

[Jacob]

Stephen Collins Foster.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Stephen. Yes. Stephen Collins Foster. He wrote up. So he wrote a bunch of songs like, you know, camptown Racist, Sing this song. And there's a whole musical about Stephen Foster's songs.

[Monet X Change]

Interesting.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

And he wrote all these songs that were, like, these incredibly patriotic songs during the time.

[Monet X Change]

Mm. Remember the time. Um. Do you think you're a good communicator, Bob?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I think I'm a very effective communicator. Me and Jake were talking about this last night, actually.

[Monet X Change]

Why? What makes you a communicator?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I think because I talk about things as soon as I feel them. I think that does make me quite confrontational. Um, but if I'm having, like, a real conversation, I'm not, like, being silly. While I am confrontational, I do tend to try to see other people's part and see my part and understand what they're saying and accept their criticisms and move forward with that unless. But on here on this podcast, I'm being really camp and, you know, doing. You and I have a. But when you and I are having, like, a real, real problem, we actually do communicate. And I say, well, I didn't like this, and this made me feel. I felt this way about this. And then I'll hear you saying. I'll say, okay, well, thank you for that. And. But when we're doing. When we're. We're in the midst of the silliness, and sometimes we don't realize that has gone into the seriousness. But once we get into the serious area. Area we tend, I think that both of us tend to be much more effective with our communication.

[Monet X Change]

I think I've learned to be. I think as I've gotten older I've become a more effective communicator. I think first being like some 20 something year old kid, I don't think I was very good at communicating or also not even good at handling confrontation. But I think as I've gotten older I've definitely learned to be a better and more effective, effective communicator. And, but I'm, I, I'm not like keto. I do not address things in the moment. Like when a thing happens, I need a beat so I can process what happens and then I can speak about it, which is also a great, it's great for me because if I react in a moment, I think I am very reactionary and not like not thinking, not having any intention about what I'm thinking about what I want to say if I need to really like take a minute to gather my thoughts and then speak about it.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

So let's communicate about something. Ready? You and I are on the work, the world tour and I have put my coffee down on your laptop, just right on top of your laptop and I left a little ring on it. And then the next day I did it again. I've done it twice now. Third day, I come in, you and I are sitting side by side, I see your laptop, I'm holding my coffee. Hey, Monet.

[Monet X Change]

Hey girl. Listen, before you come over here, do not come over here with the coffee for the past three days. For the past three days you left your coffee on my computer. There's not a permanent ring on here. I really do not. Please don't put your coffee on here.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

A permanent ring. Have you tried to wipe it off?

[Monet X Change]

No, I haven't tried to wipe it off.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

So let's wipe it off real quick. Let me wipe it off. Er, eh, er. E. Oh, the ring is gone.

[Monet X Change]

Well, you know what? There shouldn't be a ring in the first place. Cause it's highly inappropriate to take your coffee and put it on my electrical device. It's disrespectful to my property. It shows me that you don't have any value for myself and you just think that you can put your coffee on it and I would really like you to not put your coffee on my computer, regardless if it comes off or not.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

To be clear, I'm happy to not put my coffee on your things and but to say I have no, I don't see your stuff having Any value. I want to be clear. The only reason I put my coffee on your things because I saw you put a Red Bull on it the other day. So I assume you're okay with it. You put a Red Bull right on top of it.

[Monet X Change]

I put a Red Bull on what?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Your laptop?

[Monet X Change]

My. Exactly. My laptop. It's not yours. So can I come and put my Red Bull on your dress for the show tonight? Can I come?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

If my coffee's on it.

[Monet X Change]

Can I. Can I. Can I. Can I come rest my. Can I come rest my Red Bull on your hair for tonight? No.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Is my coffee on the hair?

[Monet X Change]

Right? Cause it's yours. But I don't care if you've done it before. But I would not do any. So I'm asking you if I take my laptop and smash it on the wall, that does not give you the right to also smash my. My. My. My computer on the wall.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I understand that. And I want to be clear. I'm not going to put my coffee on your laptop anymore. But I want to be clear. I valued it at the same way that you did, at the same rate that you did.

[Monet X Change]

Because I can value my. How I want to.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I. I just thought I was treating your things the way you treat your things. I was trying to give your. Your things the same respect you gave them. I thought maybe you didn't want the coffee in your area, so you put it on the laptop because you didn't want to maybe get on your makeup or something.

[Monet X Change]

That's not for you to decide. You.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

You should not deciding. I'm not putting my coffee on your laptop anymore. But to be clear, to say I don't think your things have any value is you came in hot like this coffee, and I like this coffee.

[Monet X Change]

But how that would really go, you know, we do put it out of like. Girl, do not put your fucking car back up here. That's rude as hell. Stop doing that.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

When did I. Okay, for real. Let's do it for real. Let's do it for real. Hey, Mo. It is a Red Bull. I don't drink coffee. It's a Red Bull. Hey, Mo.

[Monet X Change]

Bitch, you put your fucking Red Bull on my computer and you left a ring on my shit. Don't come over.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Did I?

[Monet X Change]

Yes.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I'm sorry. I didn't. I probably wasn't thinking.

[Monet X Change]

My bad.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I really didn't think I was.

[Monet X Change]

Yeah, yeah, Nigga. You don't think that's what I'm saying.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Okay, Monet, you're doing a lot. I'm sorry. I did not mean to put my Red Bull on your. You want to put a Red Bull on my. On my laptop now, actually. What make you feel better?

[Monet X Change]

Uh huh.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

All right, here, Place it on there. How long you want to keep it there? Three days. I didn't leave my. I did not leave my. My Red Bull on your laptop for three days. You know I chug drinks. Also, the can was empty. You know I chug. Yeah, but the can was empty.

[Monet X Change]

But it's a condensation because your ass dragged the shit in 2.2 seconds. So now all the condensation is leaking on my shit.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

That must have been your vocabulary word for the week, condensation. Jacob must have sent you that word. I know you didn't just bubble that word up.

[Monet X Change]

Oh, it's a fucking rude.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

That actually is probably how I would go for that. That is the actual.

[Monet X Change]

Yeah, that's how it actually happened. That's how it actually happened. Also, Bob is. Bob is Bob. Yes, you are a good communicator, but in terms of like conflict resolution and doing that stuff just to communicate day to day with his friends, Bob is a. Between our friends, Bob is notoriously a hard person to communicate with.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I just don't answer texts or calls or calls. Yeah, if I'm podcasting with you, bitch.

[Monet X Change]

No, Bob, they're you. And I know that you were. That you were. I know that you were home with Jacob and I and we'll. You won't answer text. I'll call you to answer this.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Because my phone stays on silent and I don't hold my phone on me all the time. But so yes, I don't answer texts or emails or call or email.

[Monet X Change]

Bob is like, you don't answer emails. I'm like, bob, did you see that thing from our accounts and of other things like Monet?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

What?

[Monet X Change]

Like you send it by email. You're like, monet, I don't check my emails.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I'm like, how are we communicating? But once we are communicating, I'm great at it. Once you get me in a corner and I'm like, oh, let me look at this thing real quick. So yes, you got me. I don't answer texts, calls or emails. You got me. It's true.

[Monet X Change]

We were on the phone right before they was talking to cause RC and not going to see the show tonight, gonna get canceled, blah, blah, blah. And then, and then Bob is like, bob says, monet, tell RC to answer my text. And Arcia, she's like, she's like. He's like, who said that?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Bob?

[Monet X Change]

She's like, yeah. We're like, what's up?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

That is not how she said it. She did not talk like that.

[Monet X Change]

Whatever. I get her.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Arcia does not talk like that.

[Monet X Change]

She's like, well, when Bob answered my text, I'll answer his. Bob. I was like, what do you mean? I did answer your text. Arcia sent me a screenshot, which I'm sending to the group right now, of her trying to communicate with Bob. And Bob has ghosted Arcia with no response to anything she's saying.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Wait, how many texts did she send me?

[Monet X Change]

3.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Okay, that's not that bad. You know, I've been worse than that. That's actually not that bad. 3. I thought it was gonna be like 6. That was a good. That was me communicating at the peak of my performance.

[Monet X Change]

Arcia. I was talking to her on the phone. Arcia, if y'all are new to the podcast, Arcia and I have been. I was content with dejuan last night. I've been friends with Arcia and Djuan for 17, going on 18 years now. And, you know, Arcia graduated from school. She's got her doctorate. You know, she's been, like, struggling to find work a little bit because she's so overd. Dr. Silks. Struggling with my work a little bit. She's been, like, going through it a lot with work and stuff, but stuff is really turning around for her. And I was getting so emotional talking to her on the phone because I'm just so. Sometimes I would call Arcia and she'll be like, kevin, what is it like? Just going through it, and I'm trying to offer her advice and try to be as helpful as I can, but I can't make work for her. But now she's got a really, really, really fucking good job. She started. Have you seen her Black Girl Walking Club?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

No. Is she teaching? Is she teaching again?

[Monet X Change]

She's. Yeah, she's teaching at her school. She's got a really good job, but she started this thing called Black Girl Walking Club just on a whim, walking by herself with one or two people. It blew up. Now there are. She's. Now there are, like, hundreds of people doing this Black Girl Walking Club coming to our city.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

That's amazing. Is it open for people to join? Where do they walk at?

[Monet X Change]

They walk in Jersey, but they're trying to do. They're doing like a. I think they're gonna be doing some walking in LA soon. A Black Girl Walking Club in Chicago, and now they're doing a little satellite walk. So is it closed to women.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Or, like, feminists and allies as well, or just for women.

[Monet X Change]

Um, I don't know the answer to that, actually.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Okay.

[Monet X Change]

Yeah.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Maybe we should have her on to promote a black girl walking club sometime.

[Monet X Change]

We should. We should. We should have Arcia back again. But it would just make me. When I. When I hear my friends succeed like that, it makes me so happy. It makes me so happy. I was, like, just into. I didn't tell her I was crying, though. But I was. I was like.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Cause she would let you have it.

[Monet X Change]

No, she'd let me have it.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I think me and Mona be going at it. RC and Monet be going at it. I'd be like, oh, I don't know that I could handle this level of going, y'all. Arcee and Monae be big backing each other and fat bitching. I'm like, this is crazy. Me and Monet don't joke. Like, this is. Y'all is cutting deep.

[Monet X Change]

We do. We do. We do. We do Kiki. We do Kakako. I love Arcia so much, though. She's so funny, you know?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

You know, a friend like that for me is Alfredo. Alfredo, like, Alfredo is a ballet dancer what used to be a ballet dancer and then was a security guard and was like, I don't want to work security my life anymore. And then Alfredo was like. Was just. And I know Alfredo was listening, but Alfredo was like, I cannot find work. I just cannot find work. It is driving me crazy. I don't have any money, and it's driving me crazy. And then Alfredo. Alfredo started doing drag and just started sewing. So me and Patrick and Kennedy sat down and gave Alfredo a sewing class one time. We were like, really? Yeah. We're, like, together. Yeah. We're like, we're all going to show you how to sew. We all use our skills. To be fair, I think me and Patrick have, like, a kind of similar skill level. Kennedy is a much better. Kennedy went to school for Cosmos. She's much better than we are. And then Alfredo took that. Those few little lessons that we gave him, and he is, y'all, Alfredo can sew down. Alfredo can really, really fucking sew. And now Alfredo is a union wardrobe on Broadway.

[Monet X Change]

Yeah, like.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Like, girl, I love a union girly. I said, girl, Alfredo came to visit me. We went somewhere. I went to go pay. Alfredo said, ha, ha. I got it. I said, alfredo bought me some. Alfredo bought me some horchata over here in the Valley. Alfredo bought me a meal over in. Over in Pasadena. He bought me. He Bought me him and Camion's meal. I said, oh, my goodness, Alfredo, I'm.

[Monet X Change]

Surprised to do that. After you dropped him off at my house like he was a foster child. Which, by the way, Alfredo, I was more than happy to have you come. I told him. And Joel, which, congratulations to Alfredo and Joel. They got engaged.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Also, Monet is not painting an accurate picture. First of all, I want to make one thing clear that we all know. Yes, Congratulations to Alfredo and Joel. Monet's home is our home. Monet knows this. It is what it is.

[Monet X Change]

So what do I have?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

It's time for debate. We're not having this conversation.

[Monet X Change]

What about Andy?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

No, Andy lives there. I don't live there. But it's me and Monet's home, right? So when I throw events, I throw them at Monat's home. When I go to Monat's events, I am co hosting the event with Monet. Monet knows this. If I'm coming, we're co hosting. So Monet's home is bigger than mine. And also, y'all, I'm. I'm not tidy. One, I'm not a tidy person. And two, I live in a three bedroom apartment with three people. There is someone in every bedroom in my house. Monet lives in a four bedroom, 1, 2, 3, 3 bedroom. An office, three bedroom with two people. And two of them are in the same room. And it has two free rooms. So when I pick Alfredo up, I said, hey, Alfredo, just so you know, Monet offered for you to stay at her home. And also the one bedroom you're going to stay in right now, it is about to get remodeled. It is on my old drag room, and there's just a bed in the middle of the room. I haven't had time to redo it. There's no pictures on the wall, all the shelves are still up. It is literally a. It's like living in a closet with a bed in the middle of the room. That is what my other. That's what my guest bedroom is right now, right? I was like, and Monet offers you to stay at her place. And she has a room that is fully decorated. And she offered. So I'm going to bring you to my house because Monet's working. And if you decide that you want to stay over at my place or at Monet's place every day, I'll come pick you up. We'll hang out every single day. But you can stay there if you want. I did not drop Alfredo Victor house like a, like a, like a Like an unloved child. You, me and Alfredo all had a conversation that Alfredo stayed at your place.

[Monet X Change]

Well, you and I had a conversation. You and I, Alfredo had a conversation.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

And then me and Alfredo had a conversation. Then you and Alfredo had come together. Yeah, but it was really lovely to have free visiting in la. I have not seen free in la. I cannot believe free. I could not believe I was looking at free in la. It was gaggy.

[Monet X Change]

Today at T Mobile, I'm joined by.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

A special co anchor.

[Monet X Change]

What up everybody? It's your boy, big Snoop. D O double G. Snoop. Where can people go to find great deals? Head to T mobile.com and get four iPhone 16s with Apple Intelligence on us plus four lines for 25 bucks. That's quite a deal, Snoop.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

And when you switch to T Mobile you can save versus the other big guys. Comparable plans plus streaming. Respect when we up out of here.

[Jacob]

See how you can save on wireless.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

And streaming versus the other big guys.

[Jacob]

@T mobile.com/apple intelligence requires iOS 18.1 or later.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

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[Monet X Change]

You don't wake up dreaming of McDonald's fries. You wake up dreaming of McDonald's hash browns.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

McDonald's breakfast comes first.

[Monet X Change]

Ba ba ba ba ba. I know. I told him. Him and Jill, Jim and Joel should come out together and they can save us. Stay by me.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Who's gonna watch the dog?

[Monet X Change]

They can get a fucking pet sitter for a week or however many days the hell.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

How about dogs?

[Monet X Change]

People act like, don't get me tired on dogs. I can't. Because also the way people love dogs in America is kind of crazy. Like the way that people love their dogs in America is crazy. Which I get it. But it's like the way the sun's.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Going down, it's getting more and more menacing. It looks like you're now telling a full on ghost story. Like the room is like slowly getting. The room is getting darker. The light is shining up. Like it looks like you about to fucking do. Are you afraid of the dark?

[Monet X Change]

Did you ever watch those shows?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Yeah, I loved Are you afraid of the Dark. Loved it.

[Monet X Change]

I didn't watch it. I didn't watch out of Goosebumps. I like. I like Animorphs. Animorphs are such a good show, but it's not scary.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I thought we were talking about, like, so good. So the two spooky shows were. The three spooky shows were. Third one's not really a spooky. Goosebumps, Earth with the Dark, and then Ghost Rider. Which Ghost Rider wasn't really scary, but it just had ghosts in the title. And then it was these. These kids who were detectives, but this ghost would help them solve crimes.

[Monet X Change]

I don't know that shit. I don't know that show at all.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Ghostwriter.

[Monet X Change]

What do you think is more important in communicating what you say or how you say it? How you say it? 100%.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

What'd you say?

[Monet X Change]

How you say it. You can say anything if you say it correctly or if you say it a way that someone can receive it. That's all that matters. You can say whatever, but just how the information is received.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I say what you say, and that's because I don't know what you mean, but I know what you said. I tell people all the time. I don't. People go. People will be like, I didn't mean that. I'm like, but you said that. Like you said, I hate you. I don't know what you meant because I'm not in your brain. All I know is what you said. And sometimes through text. I don't even know how you said it through text. I have no clue how you said this. All I. All I'm reading, so I'm reading it in my. In my thought. So you know me, I'm very pedantic, right? So when someone is saying something, I'm like, again, I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know what you meant. I just. All I know is what you said.

[Monet X Change]

Well, so in relationships, so that. So I was of this. But I've had to learn because I'm like, okay, you said, ga, ga, ga, ga, ga. And the person be like, well, what I meant was like, so then you have to do a little deciphering or to massage information to understand exactly what they're trying to say. Which in relationships, that's just part of the thing, right? This is your partner. You cannot chalk it up to like, well, this, this, this. I mean, which is my inclination is how I process and deal with things. But I've had to learn to communicate differently to, like, why can't you just.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Like, why can't you just say what you mean? Like, for example, this isn't really a problem that me and Monet have. Me and Monet are usually saying the things we mean, and if we get caught saying the things we don't mean, we are both comfortable being like, oh, I didn't mean it that way. I actually meant this. Jacob is the same way. Jacob says things that he means. And if. And if one of us. Or if I say something I didn't actually mean, if I misspoke or if my feelings didn't actually align with what I said in the moment, then later I'd be like, you know what? I was tripping in that moment. What I meant was this. And I don't want to do the guessing work. I don't want to have the guess you're feeling just say what you mean.

[Monet X Change]

100%, which is kind of the thing. I have my issue a little bit with the feelings thing, because feelings aren't facts. But I do understand that. Your feelings are valid, but it's not a fact. Like, if I. If you and I go into the store, and Jacob wanted to come, and he took too long, so we just went, and Jacob says, well, you guys abandoned me. I'm like, I understand how you feel that way, but the fact is, we did not abandon you. So now what?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Well, it means more like if we're like, hey, guys, me and Monet and Jacob are all gonna. Monet. Oh, Jacob, Me and Mone are going to the store. Do you want to come? Um, I don't. I don't think I want to go. So we go, we come back. Now Jacob's mad. Why didn't y'all bring me? Well, you said you didn't want to go. But I. But I. But I actually wanted to go. I wanted you to ask me again, and I'm like, well, that's not what you said, though. You didn't say that now. Now I got to guess what you mean. Like, so I can't be guessing what you mean. All I know is you said you don't want to go. And, yeah, I can read some cues, and sometimes they're pretty obvious. Sometimes they're not that obvious. Also, I might be a little autistic, maybe according to a doctor when I was younger. I don't have any evidence of it, so I'm not always super great at reading social cues, to be honest, And I've never been. I've only been diagnosed once, but me and my mom stormed out of the office. And I've never been treated for any level of adhd, autism, or anything on the spectrum because my mom was like, not my baby. So I just never dealt with it. But I also have had several people come up to me and be like, do you have Asperger's?

[Monet X Change]

Really?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Yes. I've had several people with Asperger's walk up and be like, bitch, do you have Asperger's? And I was like, that's giving Asperger's. Just. Just walk up and say that it's giving Aspergers.

[Monet X Change]

Amanda Seals found out she had. She was on the spectrum, leading life.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

So I have had a few moments like that in my life where people are like, bitch, you seem a little bit autistic. I don't think I am. And I'm also not interested in getting diagnosed because I think I'm doing fine.

[Monet X Change]

Yeah, I mean, I. I think you are too. I. I think you're a pretty effective communicator. But that is a. That is a communication. A part of communication that kind of really rubbed me the wrong way is the feelings. Feelings versus facts that we had this.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Conversation a long time ago. Maybe we can revisit it. What is an effective apology?

[Monet X Change]

I think an effective apology is acknowledging the feeling in that. Like. Like. Let's say like. Like, like, like. Give me an example.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Okay. I.

[Monet X Change]

We're.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

We're back at the laptop. Okay. Mm. Sorry.

[Monet X Change]

Well, that seems like an empty apology. What?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

It sounds like, I am sorry. Sorry.

[Monet X Change]

Like, sorry, But I think there needs to be some acknowledgement of what you're sorry for.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Like, okay, I put a Red Bull on your laptop, and I'm sorry. Sorry I damaged your property. Sorry.

[Monet X Change]

And I also think the energy and the tone plays a part in that.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

And I can. I am sorry. I'm irritated because we just had a confrontation, but I'm sorry.

[Monet X Change]

So I would have to wait and apologize when you were on a way to receive it, because I don't. Cause. Telling me an apology when you're irritated and you're annoyed and pissed off that I brought it up is not giving apol. It's not giving apology.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

You want me to apologize tomorrow, then?

[Monet X Change]

Yeah, I think that. Let's take a beat. I am a huge fan.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I love. I know you're a big fan of mine. I know you're a fan. That's clear to me.

[Monet X Change]

I'm allowed to take a beat. Taking a beat.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I'm a fan of the beat. Got it. Nevermind.

[Monet X Change]

Taking a fan of A beat. Taking a beat in, like, in a heated situation, I love it because I feel it just lets. It brings the temperature down. Everyone takes a second, they can think. And also, in that beat, if you're discovering there are more feelings coming up for you as to why you did the thing, then we can talk about that, too, so things don't fester and get out of control later on. So I am a huge fan of taking a beat. All right, let's just take a beat.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

It's tomorrow.

[Monet X Change]

Hey, girl.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Sorry for putting my Red Bull on your laptop.

[Monet X Change]

Thank you. I appreciate that.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I didn't mean to disrespect your property. That was not my intention. That being said, you came in real hot and very aggressive and accused me of not valuing your belongings. And I think I would now like an apology.

[Monet X Change]

Okay. I can hear how the anger and the tone, like, could be. Could put you off. And I do acknowledge. And I. And I apologize for coming in hot and being rude and nasty. I do. But I was pissed off, and I 100% had that energy, and I was really annoyed. I was really upset. And I can apologize for my partner. For real?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

For real, for real, for real. For real. Forever, forever, ever.

[Monet X Change]

Forever, ever.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

All right. I appreciate that. Thank you for giving me time to process my feelings. I appreciate that. Thank you for keeping. Thank you for making me a better person. Thank you.

[Monet X Change]

And thank you for being my best friend. And honestly, we're joking around, but for real, that space and having, for me, me able to just, like, sit. Because if you would have said that to me the day before, I'd be like, well, I'm not sorry. Cause you did put your shit on my shit. So you get what you get. That would have happened the day before, but the next day, I can understand how that could be upsetting and how that could cause friction. And I will apologize. But the day before, I'm not apologizing because, bitch, you shouldn't put your shit on my shit. So now what?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Why you gotta be like that?

[Monet X Change]

Because I need the time away from it. I have to get away from it so I can, like, relax.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

That's valid. That's fair. I think an apology for me is when you offer atonement, right? So you acknowledge what you've done. You acknowledge that it was not right, and then you ask how you can fix it.

[Monet X Change]

But what if the atonement, like, let's say it's reversed. I put my thing on yours, and then I apologize, and then the atonement I offer is, you want Me to, like, wipe it for you? Like, no, I want a new laptop. I'm like, well, that's not fair.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Well, let's do this. We're back in the scene. You ready?

[Monet X Change]

I'm like, hey, girl. So I know. I put my. I know. To retaliate for you.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Oh, by the way, just to be clear, I'm gonna. In this scenario, I'm gonna still be in my feelings. You have to try to rise above. I'm still in my feelings. Okay.

[Monet X Change]

I'm gonna.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

That's your challenge.

[Monet X Change]

And that's gonna be tough for me, but I will try to do that. Hey, girl. So I know I got upset yesterday because you put your Red Bull on my laptop and I put my coffee on your dress. That was uncalled for. That was really inappropriate. I'm sorry. I can get it cleaned for you.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Thank you. Clean my dress. Get my dress cleaned now.

[Monet X Change]

I can't tell if you're doing a bit, if you're trying to be funny or if you.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

You offered to clean my dress or clean my dress? You got it dirty. Clean my dress.

[Monet X Change]

Hold on, Susannah, calm down. I'm going to clean your dress. I said I'm gonna do it.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Calm down has never. No one's ever been told to calm down and actually got calmed. Let me be clear. You put your drink on my dress. You stained my dress. I called you out for it. You offered to clean it, and then I agreed. Yeah, clean my dress. And now you're telling me to calm down again, I want to be clear.

[Monet X Change]

You have attitude. It's giving me a lot of attitude.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

But I had no attitude. When you put your drink on my dress, I had no attitude. I was in a good mood. I was on stage enjoying myself. I come back and there is a cocktail on my dress. Not a vodka soda, an espresso martini, Monet on this. On this yellow dress. So, yes, I do have some feelings. Oh, yeah?

[Monet X Change]

And so. And what about the Red Bull that you still didn't apologize for. For putting on my fucking laptop. So what about that?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

You said you want me to wipe it off, and I wiped it off.

[Monet X Change]

But I want a new laptop, baby.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Oh, so now you want. But that's not what you said yesterday. Yesterday you said you want me to wipe it off.

[Monet X Change]

Well, that's when it was weird.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Yeah. All of a sudden you want a brand new laptop.

[Monet X Change]

So now. Cause now. Now. But between now and then, now my screen is all weird. And that's the only connective t that happened after you put your drink on My thing. So now what?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Then I'll get you a new laptop. Now take my dress and go clean it.

[Monet X Change]

Okay.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Take my dress and bring it back clean.

[Monet X Change]

So you think you can afford the 64 gigabytes of RAM. So you're gonna replace this $8,000 computer.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

And you're gonna replace this Daddy disco dress? This daddy disco gown.

[Monet X Change]

First of all, do you even know his name?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Daddy disco. It ain't Disco Daddy.

[Monet X Change]

Yeah.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Thank you.

[Monet X Change]

So when you know the designer's name, maybe we can talk about it.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Vinny. Is it Vinny? Vincent.

[Monet X Change]

Yeah, Vincent.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Vincent. So you're going to replace my. You're gonna replace my gown? You think you can afford it?

[Monet X Change]

Okay, well, I think that's a gross miscalculation. Like, that is not easy to. I can literally just get it dry clean and it will be back to normal.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Okay. I can get your computer fixed. You don't have to get it replaced. They fix screens.

[Monet X Change]

Okay, then do that then.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Okay, I'll do that. Now take my dress and go get it fixed.

[Monet X Change]

Okay, sure. Patty, can you go and take this dress for me for Bob?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I want you to fix it. No, you don't want you.

[Monet X Change]

No.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I won't feel whole until you asked me how to feel a tone. I won't feel whole until you do it.

[Monet X Change]

Well, that is. Well, that's not my problem. Patty either.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Either.

[Monet X Change]

Patty.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Patrick, don't touch my shit. Put my shit down.

[Monet X Change]

Why are you cursing at Patty? Calm down now.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

You put a drink on my shit. Patrick didn't put a drink on my shit. You put a drink on my shit. You asked me how to feel better. This will make me feel better.

[Monet X Change]

Well, you have two options. Either Patty does it or it don't get done. So which one would you have two options.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Either fix it or I'm suing you.

[Monet X Change]

Sue me.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I'm going to sue you. Do you know how much a Disco Daddy gown costs?

[Monet X Change]

Girl, this is a Payless dress.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

You threw some stones on it doesn't matter. The stones are expensive. The work was expensive.

[Monet X Change]

I. Okay, I'm going to say it for the fifth time. I think either Patty gets it taken to the cleaners or you're getting fixed.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Kennedy, call the lawyers. Call the lawyers. But hey, you did not, esco.

[Monet X Change]

Because.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

All you have to do is swallow your pride and fix the gown.

[Monet X Change]

Because you got a lot of sass on. You coming like, yeah, fix my shit, nigga.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

What do you think this is? I knew that you would not fry. You want to get Monet? Let Monet offer To fix something and then gloat about her thing.

[Monet X Change]

Yeah, fix your pride will be my downfall. You're not going to come at me like that. That's crazy.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

When you came for me, I said, yeah, I'll fix it. What you want. I'll fix it. It's fixed. And then I knew when I got you, and I was like, no, you.

[Monet X Change]

Have to do it. No, why do I have to do it?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Because it makes me feel whole. Don't you hate when that happens?

[Monet X Change]

So annoying.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

They don't love you like I love you. Wait. Oh, that. I'm sorry. That one really sent me to the moon. That was fun for me. Ooh, you're on Facebook. Fix my shit. So are you the kind of person if you're having an argument with someone and you decide to walk away and go, yeah, walk away. Are you turning around?

[Monet X Change]

No, I'm not doing it. Oh, if someone says that, walk away.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Like, as you walk away, go, yeah, that's right. You better walk away.

[Monet X Change]

I would turn around, but I don't. I mean, depends. I don't think I would engage with them after they said that. I'd probably look around and be like, girl, whatever.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Okay, you ready? Okay, bye. Walk away. Scared. Scared. You're literally afraid. Walk away. Your girls really get fucked up.

[Monet X Change]

Who am I scared of? You.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Me. Listen, you were already walking. You had the right idea. Walk away.

[Monet X Change]

Okay, You're a child. You're a child. I'm not doing this because you really don't want to.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

You really don't want to squat your little Balenciaga surgery shoes and walk away.

[Monet X Change]

Whatever, girl. You full of it.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Whatever. What? Whatever. You walking away. Exactly. Whatever. But who's walking away?

[Monet X Change]

I walk away because I'm. Because I'm a mature adult person. I'm not gonna engage.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

You walk away because I told you to. And that's why you're walking away. Yeah.

[Monet X Change]

Being a child. Correct.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Why are you still here? I thought you was walking away.

[Monet X Change]

Because you're a child.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Goodbye. You know, I'm not gonna walk away.

[Monet X Change]

Actually, I want to sit right. I want to stand right over here. So now what?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

That's right. Stand here. Do what I say. Stand here.

[Monet X Change]

So now what? So now what?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

That's right. Stand here. Stand where I tell you to stand. I'm telling you to stand right.

[Monet X Change]

Give me that fucking hat that.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Well, y is actually getting. I think I'm triggering.

[Monet X Change]

Also. Let me tell you, y'all, Bob is not this combative. Bob is not this girl. Bob is not escalating A fight like this.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

No, I wouldn't. I would. I would never do that. That would be insane. I'm not. Not crazy. But that. That would. Even for me, that would be a lot, girl.

[Monet X Change]

That would be wild also. And all my guys are doing monat.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Between you and me, you would be the one yelling, yell.

[Monet X Change]

No, I would not. I would not yell. Yeah, walk away like that. But I would probably respond how I responded. I'm like, what are you talking about?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I would leave. I'd be like, girl, let's go.

[Monet X Change]

I mean, says the girl who was fighting with Violet Koch over her music in the dressing room. Did she walk over then?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I couldn't walk away. I was cornered. Violet Chachi was standing there with her, fucking with her. With her tucking panties on her way. What kind of shoe? There was some fancy shoes. Westwood. Oh, I don't know, some Westwood pumps in her little silk robe, antagonizing me. I say, yeah, eat your chicken, bitch.

[Monet X Change]

Go have your chicken, bitch.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Because it's done. Before even that, I was. I go and eat your chicken, bitch.

[Monet X Change]

Eat your chicken. Eat your fish. Eat your. Where's that from? Eat your fish.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I had a big Drag Race argument in a dressing room. I mean, I haven't done these shows with the girls in a while. I feel like my last one was probably me and Jinx. Or maybe it might have been me and Jinx. Yeah.

[Monet X Change]

Oh, Jinxy. Jinxy.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

And that was like, so. And that was like, so. That was, like, so long ago. And it wasn't really an argument. No, it was me in Alaska. The last one was me in Alaska, actually. Me in Alaska were the last. And that was the same tour. I don't know which one happened, me or Lasker. Me and Jinx, one of them happened. They happened back to back. Yeah.

[Monet X Change]

I never fought with a Drag Race girl ever.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

There's no one I fought with, like, not in person. I mean, we argued online, but you never, like, had a face to face.

[Monet X Change]

Yeah, not a face to face, really? I don't think so.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

But you've been there for some.

[Monet X Change]

Yes, I've been there for some, but I've never experienced, like, been.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

You were there for the Rumble in the Jungle. You were there for the Thrill in Manila. Oh.

[Monet X Change]

With Trinity and thing. Yeah.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

You were there for Mike Tyson versus Jake Paul.

[Monet X Change]

Well, I got there the day after, actually, and Cracker filled me in.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I shouldn't talk about what that. It's only funny because Trinity kept making jokes about it over and over again. That shit was sending me to the moon. Trinity was like, I'm gonna milk this, honey. Trinity is so funny.

[Monet X Change]

I love Trinity. I really. You know, she's moving to la.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

What?

[Monet X Change]

Trinity's moving to la.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Oh, y'all, I'm done for it. It's a wrap on me. Y'all enjoy the new sibling rivalry. It's a rap on me.

[Monet X Change]

Well, me and her, we already have some plans for some fun content we're gonna do.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Y'all, I've been a placeholder for Trinity. I know my space. I've been a placeholder the whole time. I know. I know what the. I know what the real deal is. The twinner's coming. Oh, your old sister. I got two younger twin sisters. I'm done for.

[Monet X Change]

You know, you said I would secretly have a twin. You were right. See, the whole thing.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

You're the girl. I knew you were. This was a fun episode, bro.

[Monet X Change]

It was fun communication. We love it.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

All right, bye, everybody. Bye. Hey, it's Amy Brown from the Bobbi Bones Show. Join me in supporting St. Jude Children's Research Hospital for a chance to win a trip to meet Megan Maroney at the 2025 I Heart Country Festival in Austin, Texas, on May 3. Hosted by Bobby Bones. We're going to hook you up with tickets, flights, hotel, food credits, and a meet and greet with Megan Maroney. Take action now to support St. Jude and help cure childhood cancer. And you're going to be entered for a chance to win. Visit iheartcountrytrip.com to learn more.