The One About Compromise

Summary

Sibling Rivalry Podcast: "The One About Compromise"

Release Date: November 5, 2025
Hosts: Monét X Change & Bob The Drag Queen
Production: Studio71 & Confetti Cannon

---

Episode Overview

In this high-energy, laughter-filled episode, Monét X Change and Bob The Drag Queen dive into the many facets of compromise—through personal stories, hilarious hypotheticals, and their signature banter. They test each other’s skills at guessing measurements (with a particularly wild detour on what “8 inches” really looks like), debate the specifics of shared living and pet ownership, roleplay difficult situations, and tackle a series of improv “teamwork” scenarios. At its heart, this episode is about navigating differences in friendships, setting boundaries, and negotiating outcomes (while unleashing fresh one-liners and inside jokes).

---

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Comedy and Chemistry: Setting the Tone

• Opening Banter about Skin Tone & Broadway (00:38–02:00)
  • Monét and Bob are quick to jump into playful banter, riffing on being “brown skin girls” and the origins of terms like "The Great White Way" (Broadway) and "silver screen."
  • Notable Moment: When the origin of “Great White Way” gets fact-checked live (01:49–02:00).
• Signature Sibling Rivalry Vibe: Silly, quick-witted, irreverent, and veering effortlessly from drag pop culture references to sex and pop music.

2. “What Does 8 Inches Really Look Like?” - The Measuring Game

• Penis Storytimes & Measurement Competition (06:10–10:43)
  • Bob and Monét recall past hookups and riff on penis size estimation, transitioning to a real-time measuring tape challenge.
  • Bob schools Monét in guesstimating inches (and argues that two inches does matter).
  • Quote:
    • “Two inches is a lot of penis... If someone shows up with two inches more or less of penis, I will know immediately.” – Bob (08:15)
  • The segment evolves into playful accusations about being "so much better" than each other at measurement.

3. Discussing Boundaries & Pet Peeves

• The “Nevermind” Debate (11:07–12:05)
  • Bob confesses that "nevermind" tops his list of pet peeves, while Monét defends it as a harmless verbal tic.
  • Quote:
    • “I just wish that they had never brought it up... I really wish this hadn't been brought [up].” – Bob (11:54)
• How Thoughts Sound in Your Brain (12:06–12:45)
  • The duo joke about inner monologues, language, and accents in their heads. Turns out, Monét’s inner voice might just be... Japanese?

4. Influencers & Brand Partnerships: Rumors and Jealousies

• TikTok Chips and League of Legends Envy (13:08–14:31)
  • Bob suspects Monét’s social posts about protein chips are part of an ad campaign—Monét denies it.
  • Jealousy surfaces over another drag queen landing a League of Legends sponsorship.
  • Quote:
    • “I heard a rumor... that some girl from our management company... has a deal with League of Legends. And I’m so jealous.” – Bob (13:51)

5. Practicing Compromise: Improv Scenarios

A. Adopting a Pet Together

• Bob wants a dog, Monét is allergic (& not a dog person) (19:29–25:43)
• Negotiation back-and-forth about poodles (hypoallergenic), reptiles, and big vs. small dogs; cats are a hard no for Bob.
• Eventually, they agree—reluctantly—on adopting a big Labradoodle.
• Quote:
  • “I want you to remember this moment... how I was amenable and worked with you…” – Monét (25:47)

B. Desert Island Song Choices

• Picking 5 Songs to Listen To Forever (26:10–29:40)
  • Songs:
    • “All the Man That I Need” (Whitney Houston)
    • “Emotions” (Mariah Carey)
    • “Broken Clocks” (SZA)
    • “Because You Loved Me” (Celine Dion)
    • “Zero to Hero” (Hercules soundtrack, agreed as their joint pick)
  • Playful discussion about what musicals or artists they could agree on and rules for stitching together songs.
  • Memorable Banter: “Are we agreeing on Death Becomes Her as our fifth song?... I think Hercules would be a better song.” – Bob (28:02–28:47)

C. Curating Their Dream Party Guest List (No Partners Allowed)

• Selecting 10 Friends for a “No-Partners” Party (30:08–35:28)
  • Invited: Naomi Smalls, Kim Chi, Peppermint, Matteo Lane, Nick Smith, Taylor, Amber Wallen, and Jasmine, with asterisks for others in the running.
  • Extensive debate over who’s a mood-lifter, who would DJ, and even which friends do drugs ("Don't say that about Naomi," Monét protests).
  • Quote:
    • “Could you number them, Jacob? ...If you just do one, well, you can do that too…” – Bob (30:40) (Joking about spreadsheet management for party-planning)

D. Ordering Lunch—More Compromise!

• DoorDash, But Only Monét Can Input the Order (35:38–43:07)
  • Bob wants wings, Monét suggests Cheesecake Factory for variety, menu scrutiny ensues.
  • Disagreements pile up (hash browns vs. French toast, pulp vs. no pulp in orange juice).
  • Notable Moment: They’ll split a French toast side, but argue about juice—“No pulp, Monet!” – Bob (42:39)
  • “Why would you give me pulp? …Get your own orange juice!” – Bob (42:41–42:43)

E. Sharing a Car: Drafting a Roommate Car Contract

• Dream Car Debate: Make, Model, Color & Usage (44:11–54:00)
  • They agree (after wrangling) on a dark navy crossover/SUV.
  • Wrestle over weekly scheduling—eventually, car use is split by day (M/W/F for Monét, T/Th/Sun for Bob, Saturday split by time).
  • Quote:
    • “So your plan is... let you use the car at your own beck and will and then when you’re ready, just let me use it... That’s your proposal?” – Bob (49:12)
  • Car washing is debated (Saturdays, supposedly for “afternoon discounts”), as are fuel policies (“Car should never come back with less than a quarter tank.”).
  • Ends in a tangle of negotiation, with signature Sibling Rivalry bickering and laughter.

---

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• 00:44:
  • “They have surgery that'll move your prostate around.” – Bob
• 05:11:
  • “Yeah, no, I’m good. Thank you for the offer. That’s very kind of you. Yeah, very, very sweet offer on your behalf, but I don’t think I am.” – Bob (refusing Monét’s bottoming experiment)
• 08:15:
  • [See above] Two inches absolutely “makes a difference.”
• 11:54:
  • “I just wish that they had never brought it up.” – Bob (on "nevermind")
• 13:51:
  • “I'm, like, insanely jealous. That's crazy.” – Bob (re: League of Legends deal)
• 25:47:
  • “Remember this moment—how I was amenable…” – Monét
• 34:07:
  • “Everyone with a partner has to be solo. So sorry, Alex. And Alex doesn't watch our podcast, so he'll never know about this.” – Bob
• 42:41:
  • “Why would you give me pulp? ...Get your own orange juice!” – Bob

---

Timestamps for Key Segments

• Banter/Opening & Broadway Talk: 00:38–02:09
• Sex Talk/Prostate Story: 04:25–05:56
• Penis Measurement Game: 06:10–10:43
• Pet Peeves (“Nevermind”): 11:07–12:05
• Brand Partnerships/TikTok Rumors: 13:08–14:31
• Pet Adoption Negotiation: 19:29–25:43
• Desert Island Songs: 26:10–29:40
• Dream Party Guest List: 30:08–35:28
• Ordering Lunch: 35:38–43:07
• Roommate Car Contract: 44:11–54:00

---

Episode Takeaways

• Compromise, with Conditions: Whether it’s pets, playlists, or party RSVPs, the theme running through each bit is—compromise is possible, but not always easy (or without snark).
• Friendships Require Negotiation: The humor is always laced with real talk about setting and respecting boundaries, from pet allergies to driving schedules.
• The Joy—and Challenge—of Collaboration: Every “game” or hypothetical underscores how different priorities and preferences play out in close relationships, especially when strong personalities collide.

---

The Sibling Rivalry Vibe

If you haven’t listened, expect rowdy, authentic chemistry; frank confessions about sex, shade, and showbiz; and legit insights about communication, all wrapped up in a meandering, hilarious, and unmistakably queer package. This episode, nominally about compromise, showcases the duo’s capacity to find comedy (and the occasional real solution) in every difference.

---

For full episodes ad-free and exclusive content, visit Sibling Rivalry’s Patreon.

Transcript

[A]

Extra value meals are back. That means 10 tender juicy McNuggets and medium fries and a drink are just $8 only at McDonald's for a limited time only. Prices and participation may vary. Prices may be higher in Hawaii, Alaska and California. And for delivery.

[B]

My name is Bob the Drag Queen.

[A]

And I'm Money X Change.

[B]

And this is Sibling R. On this.

[A]

Week'S episode, we find out what 8 inches really looks like.

[B]

We work on compromising.

[A]

And we find out what made Bob say this.

[B]

They have surgery that'll move your prostate around. And we find out what made Monet say this.

[A]

Why would I lie about that? We're both wearing brown. Brown skin, girls. Your skin. Look this.

[B]

How you.

[A]

What do you say? What do you say to me? What you do? Caribbean accent, brown skin, G. No, I.

[B]

Do under the Sea. Under the sea.

[A]

Also, the Patriots. They have been calling out. They're like, Bob needs to. The Monet always sings. Allegations are out the room.

[B]

What of it? You are come see me eight times a week. I'll be singing on the Great White Way.

[A]

The Great White Way? Is that what Broadway. Why is it called the Great White Way?

[B]

I don't have the answer there. I don't know. Why is it the silver screen?

[C]

Because it's black and white. Movies, they're like silver.

[A]

I'm literally gonna say. Like, when the. I was gonna say the static.

[B]

It was a screen itself, silver.

[A]

But I think black and white makes silver or some version of it.

[B]

I wouldn't. I don't know why they call the silver.

[A]

Well, is it a great white wig? Because Broadway is only supposed to be for white artists.

[B]

I don't.

[A]

I don't know.

[C]

Early movie screens were literally coated with reflective materials, like silver aluminum to make the images brighter and sharper. And the Great White Ray refers to the bright lights of Broadway.

[A]

Oh, there you have it. There we have it.

[B]

So I don't know why either one of them were called those things. Know they call the silver screen and the Great White Way, but I didn't know why they were. You know, I don't.

[A]

I don't.

[B]

I. You know, but I know that I've been on both. Well, actually, I haven't.

[A]

You haven't been on a big white way. I mean, you have.

[B]

You have the Great White Way.

[A]

You have topped the Great White Way before.

[B]

I have topped a Great White Way before.

[A]

I have.

[B]

And I've topped a silver screen. I once a guy in a Tin man costume. Really? No, I've never done that, but I will. I've Seen some porn where they paint their whole bodies a color and they're still.

[A]

It's kind of wild. Well, you know, for, for, for a time. I'm sure it still happens when. I love when porn's parody movies, like, I, I remember watching.

[B]

They didn't happen much anymore, though. They used to happen a lot more, I feel.

[A]

Yeah, maybe. Yeah. But I remember, like, I, I, I specifically remember watching a, a with the blue people Avatar porn. I was like, this is.

[B]

Well, I've always said avatars are hot. I've always said that's my Hear me out will be the Avatar people for sure. No, I'm not thinking.

[A]

You don't have to hear that. That, that, like, that's. Yeah, I think we can all agree Avatar is a hot.

[B]

They're a little creaturely.

[A]

Like, hear me out would be for me. Okay, Hear me out. The big labubus.

[B]

The big.

[A]

Not the tiny ones, the big ones.

[B]

The dimensions are the same, though.

[A]

I know, but something about it being bigger, I'm like.

[B]

I mean, I could see maybe a big labubu. I think my hear me out is probably. I don't know what is my hear me out. I, I think that. Oh, Mushu.

[A]

Mushu.

[C]

Mushu, the dragon from Mulan.

[B]

Oh, okay.

[A]

Mushu. Okay.

[B]

Yeah, Mushu.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

You see Mushu at the bar being like all twisted up also.

[A]

Mushu could just go in and just like wreak havoc in there. Have you had your prostate played with in a nice way? Like, like in a very pleasurable way?

[B]

I mean, I've been, I've been topped.

[A]

Yeah, but even. But like, there are some people who, they're like, every time they're. They're having sex, they're accessing their prostate. I don't feel that every time I have sex.

[B]

Maybe your prostate is hidden or maybe whoever's going in there doesn't know how to find it.

[A]

No, but. And do you know how to find it? I don't even know how to find it. I haven't been that deep in there.

[B]

I don't like. I see.

[A]

I don't. I said as if I don't like fingers in my home. Maybe that's why.

[B]

That's where the prostate is. You gotta.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Come here.

[A]

But it has some guys who, wherever the prostate sits, every time they fuck is the process getting tickled. And they are auto ejaculating.

[B]

You can have it. You can have it shifted and moved. They have surgery that'll move your prostate around. Why? So you can feel it better. So you can just Put it somewhere that it has easier access.

[A]

Is that what the surgeon for?

[B]

They're like, oh, I want it in your hand. You can put it in your ear.

[A]

It's not even.

[C]

You can.

[B]

Why would I lie to you about that?

[A]

Anyway, so. Have you ever had your prostate tickles and like, someone went in there to. With. With the purposes of tickling your prostate specifically?

[B]

No.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

No, I'm not really in these bottom streets. And. And I haven't bought them for a really long time.

[A]

You want to do and try right now with you?

[B]

Yeah. No, I'm good. Thank you for the offer. That's very kind of you. Yeah, very, very sweet offer on your behalf. Very benevolent person, I must say, but I don't think. I don't think I am. I don't think I ever was a good bottom. And I don't. And I certainly am way out of practice these days.

[A]

Got it.

[B]

100P. But I do remember that everyone I have bottom four was obsessed.

[A]

Everyone who you bought them for, they were obsessed with you.

[B]

Obsessed.

[A]

Obsessed like Fatal Attraction obsessed.

[B]

Like showing up at my job?

[A]

You're lying.

[B]

I'm not lying.

[A]

What you mean. You mean coming out to the bar when they're going to have a drink?

[B]

No. Showing up at the restaurant I worked at and being like, I just want to talk to you.

[A]

Okay, You're.

[B]

I'm literally not lying. I'm literally not lying.

[A]

And what did he want to talk to you about?

[B]

I didn't want to see him anymore. I wasn't interested in seeing him anymore. He was not a good top. He was a pretty bad top. And he was just ramming and slamming with his gigantic penis and it didn't feel good.

[A]

Gigantic. A rough estimate.

[B]

Money. I was in my early 20s.

[A]

Okay, girl, I remember dicks I've had in my early 20s that were impressive. Well, you don't.

[B]

Because when I ask you to describe penises to me, I'm gonna be you. I'm gonna be you. This is a great example. Oh, I hooked up with this hot guy and I'll show you. He had a great. Oh, my God, A beautiful penis.

[A]

Monet. Monet, I'm gonna be you. Monet. Do you wanna tell me anything more about this penis? Jesus Christ. I have to fight you for every.

[B]

It was great. I don't know, it was just great.

[A]

Monet, I will give you now until the end of time to tell me to describe this penis. It was like.

[B]

I don't know, it felt nice. It looked nice. It was just.

[A]

Okay, well, they.

[B]

Thanks.

[A]

It's nice.

[B]

It was just a really nice. It was just so nice. What did you like about it? The shape, the size. What size? Was it like a nice one? That's.

[A]

You.

[B]

I don't know.

[A]

I would say a number. Like a great. I would say a rough number.

[B]

You don't.

[A]

I do.

[B]

Do you. How good are you with numbers?

[A]

I'm pretty good. Like. I mean, like what? Like. Like addition.

[B]

I'm gonna show you a distance between my hands. Okay. And you're gonna. And we're gonna. Taylor, can you grab a measuring tape? And I need you to tell me a black one. And I need you to tell me how much. How much space you think I'm holding between my hands.

[A]

Oh, I'm gonna nail it.

[B]

You. You sure?

[A]

I'm going to nail it.

[B]

Actually, no. Taylor, get the. Get the. Get the. Do we have the Z? We mopped it. Yeah. All right, here we go.

[A]

You took it from. You took it from the studio. And we will be invoicing you for that. For that tape.

[B]

Okay, but I need to. Okay, I won't look.

[A]

I'll look. I'll look this way.

[B]

But the thing about the measuring tape is you can. You can hide it by putting it upside down.

[A]

What?

[B]

The measurement. Like the.

[A]

Well, do. Centimeters. I do not know centimeters. I don't know what one centimeter is to inches.

[B]

What is that?

[A]

I'm gonna say roughly 28 inches.

[B]

That is 20 inches.

[A]

That's not bad.

[B]

You're eight off. What is that?

[A]

Oh, I can tell you that, baby.

[B]

What is that?

[A]

That's about seven inches.

[B]

That's five inches.

[A]

Okay. Okay, I'm two inches off. That's not crazy.

[B]

Two inches is a lot of penis when it comes to the Empire. I wouldn't note if it was. If it was 2 inches taller or shorter. When it comes to penis, if someone shows up with 2 inches more or less of penis, I will know immediately.

[A]

I can give you one more. Let me give you two more. Okay, that's three inches. That is two inches an inch off. Inch off.

[B]

You added a third.

[A]

That's 12. This is 10 inches. Okay.

[B]

I might not be great enough. That's what I said. I don't remember. It was so long ago. You were wrong on everyone. Okay, let's see what you're batting.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

A rod. 17 inches.

[A]

That's crazy.

[B]

Gagged. Who.

[A]

You also know centimeters. In Clayton county, they use centimeters of those inches. So I'm going to do it this way. So just hold. Can you. Can you see the top?

[B]

First of all, I don't know centimeters and I ate that up. Do the next one. You think I was thinking I'm British. 27 inches.

[A]

Wrong. 25 inches. 2 inches. I will notice 2 inches.

[B]

No, be clear. You were off 8 inches when I was younger. Let's do it again. You're gagging right now.

[A]

You are off 2 inches.

[B]

You are so gagged right now.

[A]

You were off 2 inches.

[B]

Not gagged. You're so gagged. 9 inches.

[A]

No.

[B]

What is it?

[A]

10?

[B]

I am so much better at this than you. I literally did the same thing. I know you did.

[A]

I was an inch off on three and you were like, mone. That's a one inch.

[B]

I am so much better at this than you.

[A]

You are insane.

[B]

Give me some more. I am eating you up.

[A]

How are you doing? Better than me or not? I'll give you the first one. You did nail it.

[B]

That is 11 inches.

[A]

That's correct.

[B]

You're gagging.

[A]

You got one more.

[B]

I got four.

[A]

You got one more.

[B]

Honestly, I am eating this up. That is 22 inches. 18.

[A]

So those 4 inches erases the last one. I rest my case.

[B]

I did better than you.

[A]

No.

[B]

Yes. What do you mean no? I got two right. You got all of them wrong. Give me back my motherfucking measuring tape.

[A]

That's a nice measuring tape.

[B]

Actually, it's probably Taylor's. Is that yours?

[A]

Yeah. Taylor's so chic with his black measuring tape. You would.

[B]

Taylor is very. He's a very, very chic person. Trey chic for sure. 1 hundo p. 1 hundo p. Trey chic. Oh, never mind what trey chic means. Very chic.

[A]

I know.

[B]

What were we about to say?

[A]

I was gonna say, why are they mixing French and Spanish but tres. Anyway, it's French.

[B]

I think that saying nevermind is probably one of my biggest pet peeves.

[A]

Bob, you have so many pet peeves.

[B]

But you can agree that saying nevermind is annoying though.

[A]

No. Cause when he says nevermind, it's two.

[B]

Things I don't want.

[A]

It's like it's literally a passing thought that's not that important. I don't want to take our time when we literally have a short amount of time. Today I was like, it doesn't even matter. And then.

[B]

Or if it's something that is going.

[A]

To be that later on, like it's a non factor. It's wasting time doing it.

[B]

It's not just time. You do this when we are just having conversations where no one's filming and we have all the time in the world. We're just hanging out. I'm going to be like, do you. Never mind.

[A]

Because it's a passing thought that doesn't require. Doesn't need that much. I don't need to take time or. I don't want to waste your time or even talk about my thoughts about it because it's not about the person. It's about me. It's about me setting a boundary. But, you know, I don't want to just.

[B]

I think in my head, I just wish that they had never brought it up. When they do it, I'm always like, I really wish this hadn't been brought.

[A]

You just say stuff in your brain. I'm like, it's not worth it.

[B]

That's not in your brain. That's out loud.

[A]

No, you say it.

[B]

I say stuff in my brain all the time.

[A]

They say your brain and then it comes out your mouth.

[B]

You have an accent in your brain. Do you say hair? Do you say, I can't hear you in your brain or do you say, I can hear you?

[A]

I know what it sounds like. It's only my brain. Do you. Do you know what. Do you know what things sound like in your brain?

[B]

My. My brain. My voice. And my brain sounds exactly like my real voice. Like, this is how I sound. Just like this.

[A]

I don't. I don't. I don't. I don't know that. Let me try to think.

[B]

I even do my, like, even my. My ups and downs. What, are you speaking Puerto Rican?

[A]

I am in. My brain is Japanese.

[B]

Can you. Can you verbalize it? Can you connect it to the. No, that's crazy.

[A]

That's crazy.

[B]

You guys speak in one Japanese. You know, something Japanese. Arigato.

[A]

Yeah, Arigato. Omakase.

[B]

What's that mean?

[A]

Some type of sushi thing. Like when you get an omakase meal, it's like a. It's. It's. It's a very refined, very high expensive sushi experience where they. I think.

[B]

What.

[C]

I don't think it's exclusive to sushi. It's any meal where the chef has planned everything out and you don't get to choose the menu.

[A]

Thank you.

[B]

Do you have a brand partnership with some food thing?

[A]

No.

[B]

Or were you just posting on TikTok like as.

[A]

Like a.

[B]

As like a.

[A]

No, no, no. I just. I. I just love you. I'll tell you. I'm in. I'm in my.

[B]

So is that something you got from TikTok the meal? No, no, but you. But you put it on the thing.

[A]

No, I did the Protein chips?

[B]

Yeah. You put on anything? You put the shop link.

[A]

No, I didn't. I didn't put it on there. I literally just recorded here and posted it. There's a shop link on my thing.

[B]

Wait, someone look it up. I think there's a shop link. What? Yeah. You talking about your little chips, and there's a show.

[A]

I didn't.

[B]

I.

[A]

Girl, I literally just recorded that. Like, I made them in my kitchen. I was like, this is so good. I want to tell people about these chips. I did not put anything.

[B]

I heard a rumor that some girl.

[A]

From say, that thing about Umbrella Academy. I heard a rumor.

[B]

Oh. That some girl from the. Our management company who that we managed has a deal with League of Legends. And I'm so jealous.

[A]

Oh, fear.

[B]

I'm, like, insanely jealous. That's crazy. I don't know who it is. I was playing League Legends the other day, and someone came out and said, oh, someone. I was just working on a deal with this for someone. Huh.

[A]

Well, there's one about clash of clans.

[B]

Never mind.

[C]

For what it's worth, if you Google drag queen League of Legends, you're the first person who comes up from your streams. Also, they've reached out to you on Instagram to give you free things. I responded on your behalf.

[B]

Thank you. Thank you very much. But doesn't I have the shop link and everything? Did I make that up?

[C]

Yeah, you just made that up.

[B]

It was a filter. Did you have a filter on?

[A]

No.

[B]

Maybe I'm losing my mind. How would you deal with me losing my mind?

[A]

I deal with it on a regular basis.

[B]

Role play. You ready? You come to my house?

[A]

I come to your house.

[B]

Hey, Monet.

[A]

Hey, girl. What's up? What you doing?

[B]

Nothing. Just getting ready to go to the moon.

[A]

To the moon?

[B]

To the moon.

[A]

To the moon. Why the moon?

[B]

Well, I think that's for my. The Trader Joe's I like is on the moon.

[A]

You need help packing?

[B]

Yeah. You gonna help me back?

[A]

I will gladly send you this.

[B]

It's just a. It's just a short trip. I'll be back in, like, two hours, so there's nothing to pack.

[A]

That's mean. There's traffic.

[B]

I need you to drive into the airport, though.

[A]

I will take it to the airport. You have your bags?

[B]

It's just a couple hours. I don't need it. I got my purse.

[A]

What about your headphones? Your medicine?

[B]

Ooh, that's a good idea. Let me go grab my medicine.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

Grab my headphones.

[A]

Your Dante's neighbors did complain about the noise, girl.

[B]

Well, I'll be gone for a couple hours, so they'll be good now.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

Are you coming with me?

[A]

Yeah, we'll see when we get there.

[B]

All right. Are we going to the car now? Yeah, we're in the car. All right, we're in the car.

[A]

We're driving. We're driving.

[B]

Watch out for that dragon.

[A]

Oh, yeah. Got it, got it, got it. Okay, over here. Nurse. Get her.

[B]

And on that note, let's take a break. You know that doctor's appointment you were supposed to make a while ago? Yeah, the one you told yourself you'd schedule after the holidays or after that trip or after your big deadline. Maybe it's your biannual dental cleaning. Or that overdue annual checkup that's now three years late. Or that dermatologist appointment you keep putting off for that thing that just doesn't look quite right. Yeah, that one. Here's your sign to finally book it. And the best part, you don't even have to call anymore. Anyone? You can do it right now while you're listening. Thanks to zocdoc. Zocdoc is a free app and website where you can search and compare high quality in network doctors and click to instantly book an appointment. No weird callback loops. No. Our next available appointment is six months out. Nonsense. They've got more than 100,000 doctors across every specialty, from mental health to dental, primary care to urgent care, and everything in between you can filter by insurance. Yep, the one you actually have. Location near your home or your work specialty, even patient ratings so you know who you can trust. Once you find your doctor, you can literally see their calendar and book a time that works for you, like on the spot. Most appointments are available in just 24 to 72 hours and sometimes even same day. Personally, I love anything that saves me time and eliminates that mental clutter. Whether you're trying to stay on top of your health or just knock out that checkup you keep forgetting, ZOCDOC makes it ridiculously easy. Stop putting off those doctor's appointments and go to Zocdoc.com rivalry to find and instantly book a top rated doctor today. That's zd.com rivalry. Zocdoc.com rivalry. You call the you would have me institutionalized girl. Oh, real quick. By the way, for those of you who just witnessed that ad break and you were thinking to yourself, man, this would be such a better experience if I didn't have to hear ads, you can join the sibling rivalry Patreon. Yes, every single episode we have ever recorded ad free on our Patreon. We also have several of my solo shows, several of Monet's solo shows. We have tons of Patreon exclusive content. We have content. Early releases of Civil rivalry, Civil watchery.

[A]

We will still keep on doing those even though you don't like to know.

[B]

Early releases of the big question. Early release of Monet, my YouTube videos. Early releases of Monet Talks, and also.

[A]

Putting my vlogs on the early release. Actually, that's a good idea.

[B]

Do you own the. Do you have access to the exchange rate episodes? They belong to you?

[A]

I mean, I have them. I mean, the exchange rate is my IP. It was on builds YouTube, but I mean, they're mine.

[B]

They probably only episodes though.

[A]

It's on their YouTube. But why? For. Why?

[B]

I was wondering if there's like a. I don't know.

[A]

I think. I think I can put them.

[B]

I don't know why I was asking. I was wondering, like, maybe we should put them in a data. Like put them all up on the thing.

[A]

But I mean, I could do that. I'll be fine. Also, people don't know.

[B]

People.

[A]

People don't know. Only. Only the patrons about. About this current eventory.

[B]

Yeah. Current events. Monet and I talk about current events once a week on our Patreon. So if you want to know what me and Monet, these are up to the. We record these every single week. Yeah. And they're always, you know, talking about. It's always what's going on. So catch us out. Check us out over on the sibling rivalry Patreon. There's great stuff there.

[A]

Yeah. Okay, so today we're playing a game or we're doing an experience where Bob and I, we are adopting a pet together.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

And we have to collaborate on what type of breed it is and what animal and what.

[B]

Jacob has the questions lined up.

[C]

Yeah, I do. This is the first one.

[B]

Okay, so what's the question? This is.

[C]

This is the first. This is the first of a series of exercises.

[B]

I would like a dog. Okay, so the question is, you're diving back together. What animal and what breed is it? I would like a dog. Okay.

[A]

I'm allergic to dogs.

[B]

You live with a dog?

[A]

I do. And it is because I. Every day, I have to take. Every day. Every morning I take Zyrtec to inoculate my symptoms.

[B]

Is that bad for your liver?

[A]

It's not good for me. So if we're gonna move in together and we do a thing, I would like to not have that experience.

[B]

So what's gonna happen to the dog you already have?

[A]

No, we're moving together. We're adopting animals.

[B]

Oh, so you're leaving that dog?

[A]

Yeah, I'm leaving that dog, leaving that man, leaving everything.

[B]

How long have you been living with that for?

[A]

3 years.

[B]

To be clear, I don't think Zertech is bad for your liver.

[A]

Just.

[B]

You guys know that.

[A]

No, but there is something. It's not bad for your liver, but there is. It's not good to take an antihistamine every day.

[C]

Like, I don't think it is, because I. I took it a lot and I asked my doctor if it was fine to take Zurich every day, and they were like, yeah, it's fine. Go for it, girl.

[B]

So we're not doctor, you guys. We're not doctors. I'm taking it. This is all this is.

[A]

What's answer? Tick tock. Probably wrong.

[B]

Anyway, so you. I just want to be clear. You have experience with living with a dog and you manage. You seem really happy.

[A]

I was happy with the man, not happy with the dog. I was sacrificing for that.

[B]

Well, you as roommates, you'll probably be very happy. So why can't you offer me the same kind as you offered him?

[A]

Because I'm setting a new experience and I would like it to not. I would like to not have to do it every day. I. I want to stop doing all these medicines.

[B]

I'm so sorry to hear about Andy.

[A]

I know he did the crash. Yeah, yeah.

[B]

The emotional crash.

[A]

The emotional crash while he was driving. Turmoil. Yeah.

[B]

Into a car.

[A]

Yeah, yeah. Off a cliff.

[B]

The crash of the crash. Crash.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

But. But I'm going to be moving in with you to help you build your life. Okay. If you. I and I would like to have a talk about a poodle, because poodles are non allergenic.

[A]

They are. They are hypoallergenic. I can ruminate on that. How do you feel about maybe a reptile?

[B]

A reptile?

[A]

Yeah. We have a friend, Asadia Kuba has, who has reptiles and they seem to be pretty chill. They don't require a whole lot.

[B]

They're not friendly. Reptiles don't love you.

[A]

His chameleon is very friendly.

[B]

Reptiles don't have affection for Tory people.

[A]

How you know that?

[B]

It's like a thing. It's like science. Like, reptiles don't. I was watching one of the. One of the alligator guys, and he was handling an alligator and he was basically being like this alligator. You see me rubbing her and she let me rub her. But this Alligator seems to not, like, seem like she wants to, like, be friends with me. I can't read that.

[A]

Yes, reptiles do experience emotions.

[B]

I didn't say they don't experience, but they don't have feelings for humans.

[A]

Can you give me that? Ojko?

[B]

So as they're like, he's like, rubbing it, but he's like, the only reason I bit him because I know how to handle her. And he goes, watch this. And he moved his hand slightly over and she tried to bite his hand. They do not feel emotions like love and affections the way the mammals do. So I would like a pet that wants. That likes me.

[A]

Okay, hear me out. Cats.

[B]

That's a hard no for me.

[A]

Why?

[B]

I don't like them. They piss in the house, they smell funny. They're mean. And I'm kind of scared of cats.

[A]

Cats? You're scared of cats?

[B]

A little. I'm a little bit afraid of cats. But you.

[A]

You and Colleen get along so well.

[B]

I. Colleen isn't very. I don't live with Colleen. And also when I'm there, she hides. Holly. Colleen is. She's in the corner. She's in her little chair. But I don't. I don't have experiences around Colleen. I have very few. I feel like when she was a kitten, she was really playful, but now she's an old, grumpy. Don't ever grumpy.

[A]

She ain't sweet. I think if we got. Because, you know, if we have our friend, you.

[B]

You know.

[A]

You know our friend Taylor. Yeah, yeah. He has a big Maine coon kind of cat.

[B]

You would never see me. That cat is. That cat hits. That cat has attacked his other friends. His poor Rick and friend got attacked by that cat. She. He. The cat attacked her. And the cat looks like a person in a cat suit. Here's a picture of the cat. Tell me that's not a human being in a cat suit. This thing is creepy. It's the size of Jacob. That's a tween in a fucking catsuit.

[A]

A little hello Kitty bury that.

[B]

I could settle. Okay. I would prefer a poodle because if the. If the only issue is that the dog is. Is your allergies.

[A]

Don't. So here's the thing. The allergies. I just don't like dogs. I think dogs require too much.

[B]

They didn't bring that up earlier?

[A]

Yeah, they require too much. Too much affection. You got to take them out for walks. You got to take them. It's just too much. And if we're living together, chances are you know, you travel a lot. I do and I travel a lot. But sometimes there's a chance that you'll be out of town and I have to be walking, picking up shit and taking a dog out of the neighborhood.

[B]

You did all that with Andy?

[A]

No, I do not.

[B]

You did that with Andy when Andy was. You picked up Andy. Shit. Back before the crowds.

[A]

I loved him. I wouldn't love the dog. So I.

[B]

You're not gonna love our pet?

[A]

No. If it's a dog, hell no.

[B]

You don't love potato?

[A]

No.

[B]

You're not real.

[A]

I don't love potato.

[B]

You don't love potato?

[A]

I tolerate potato. I don't love potato.

[B]

Do you love Colleen?

[A]

I love Colleen. That's my. I birth her with my own loins.

[B]

When you see Potato, what feeling do you have?

[A]

I have respect. I have care for him. Cause I don't want him to die. Cause he's a human. He's a sentient existing being. But I don't see him like, oh, my God. I just. These people see dolls.

[B]

I'm like, oh, my God.

[A]

Can I please pet him?

[B]

How does your heart feel?

[A]

My heart feels neutral.

[B]

What if Potato's limping? How do you feel then?

[A]

I feel sad for it. I don't mean I love it.

[B]

How do you feel about Cody?

[A]

I think Cody's fine. I don't have the thing for dogs. Like what I do like. Okay, here's what I can see. I think it might be Cody.

[B]

Come here, Cody. Cody, Cody, come on.

[A]

Cody said girl.

[B]

No, Cody, Cody, don't embarrass me.

[C]

This is what I'm talking about. This is what happens.

[B]

Cody, don't embarrass me. That's right, Cody, you know, Cody, stay your ass over there.

[A]

That's right.

[B]

I'm now neutral on you, too.

[A]

The tides turn really fast.

[B]

Yeah, you know, I don't want a poodle.

[A]

I do. I will say I grew up with a poodle. Her name was Blossom. And I do like. I do like poodles. Okay, I can concede if we get a Labradoodle. I want a big dog. A big poodle.

[B]

So you are willing to get a dog?

[A]

I'm willing to get a big old Labradoodle. I want like a Great Dane sized poodle.

[B]

Okay, let's get it. All right, all right. Step one, we have a breed.

[A]

I will say, remember this moment. Remember this moment how I was amenable and how I worked with you on what would so we can get somewhere. I want you to remember this moment. Going Forward in this exercise.

[B]

I'm very amenable.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

And I think we both know that. Oh, that was just one. One thing on the animal. Oh, we moved on from the animal.

[A]

Okay, I'll read this one. You're on a desert island together and you can only listen to five songs. Which five songs are you taking?

[B]

We both get five or we have five collectively.

[C]

Collectively agree on each other.

[B]

So it sounds like you pick two, I pick two, we agree on one.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

Are we are and are we are. These songs on loop, you can play them whatever you would like, but they're not constantly playing.

[C]

No, but it's the only songs you can play and listen to. You can't sing. You can't sing other songs. You have to either listen or interact with these specific five songs on your desert island.

[B]

Okay, let's go song for song.

[A]

Song for song.

[B]

You want me to go first?

[A]

I can go first.

[B]

Okay, go ahead.

[A]

All the men that I need. Whitney Houston.

[B]

I'm going to have emotions. Mariah Carey.

[A]

I'm gonna have broken clocks by sza.

[B]

I'm gonna have because you love me, Celine Dion.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

And now we have to agree on a song.

[A]

Agree on something.

[B]

So do you want to pick a song from a musical that we both like?

[A]

Sure, I could be amenable to that.

[B]

Do you want it to be dream girls?

[A]

No. For the rest of our lives? No.

[B]

A musical, but not Dreamgirls. That's the. I feel like that is the one music you and I can agree on. The one musical that you and I can agree on the most.

[A]

No. There's more.

[B]

Little shop?

[A]

No.

[B]

Annie?

[A]

No.

[B]

Les Mis? No.

[A]

I've never seen it.

[B]

Do you have any recommendations?

[A]

Death becomes her for the rest of our lives.

[B]

I like death becomes her, but for the rest of our lives.

[A]

Yeah, why not?

[B]

Okay, what song? I want to be clear, what we have emotions is a upbeat pop. You know what I mean?

[A]

All the man I need is mid pop. More ballady pop.

[B]

Because you love me as a full on ballad.

[A]

Ballad. Broken clocks is a vibe.

[B]

So caught. A vibe. So you want to bring Willow Smith?

[A]

No, not Willow Smith.

[B]

So. And don't say her name because, you know, whole storm in here. Do you want. So what is the vibe of this?

[A]

Because.

[B]

So are we agreeing on death becomes her as our. As our fifth song? Yeah, I mean, it's our fifth so. From this show.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Okay, so what do we want? There's not a lot of battles in the show.

[A]

You know what? Maybe not. That becomes her. I'm trying to think what else? Oh, Hercules.

[B]

The movie.

[A]

Well, yeah, the movie. Yeah.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

And I think it should be the Gospel Truth. We have some. We get some religion. We can. We can use this for church, for worship, and we could use it also for energy.

[B]

I mean, our population's dying out pretty soon.

[A]

It is. Unless one of us is going to.

[B]

Be able to get pregnant.

[A]

And I think we all know me. There's enough.

[B]

I just want to remind you, last time I bought them, those guys went crazy. So I think that Gospel Truth is pretty short, though. I. I think Hercules would be a better song.

[A]

Hercules? You mean Zero to Hero.

[B]

Yeah, Zero to Hero would be a better song. Okay. Because Gospel Truth is. Is a. Is actually. Really.

[A]

I was gonna say I was gonna stitch them all together.

[B]

You know, it's not allowed to do that. Not a lot. Not that. I was gonna stitch every song for my.

[A]

We make the rules here.

[B]

So let me just go. Okay. I would go back. I would like to stitch every song from the Mr. Case, Lauren Hill into one big song.

[A]

No, but Gospel Truth is 1, 2, 3.

[B]

No, they're. They're in different chunks of the movie.

[A]

No, they all happen at the beginning. Gospel Truth is 1, 2, 3, up in the beginning.

[C]

They're in the sound. We'll see how they are listed in this.

[A]

In the soundtrack. They're 1, 2, 3. I'm guaranteeing.

[B]

I'm stitching MIS Education, Laura Hill in order.

[A]

That's not. You can't.

[B]

1, 2, 3. You can't do that, but you can stitch them together.

[C]

Okay, they are 1, 2, 3. But they're three separate songs.

[B]

Yeah, they're separate songs. When it's one song, we can't play. We're not bringing rules to make it easy for ourselves. You only pick one. I'm choosing Zero to Hero. Okay, who's got the glass? Who put the glad in Gladiator? That has the churchy moment in it, too.

[A]

Okay. Yeah. So easy.

[B]

Wow.

[A]

Look at us. We're gonna. We're gonna be living so fun.

[B]

I thought it was gonna be more about the pet. I thought the whole thing was figuring out life for this pet.

[A]

No.

[B]

Yeah. No. I can do a Labrador.

[A]

I love, like, a big dog.

[B]

I like big dogs.

[A]

Yeah. Brownie. No, Grizzly was a big dog.

[B]

Grizzly was a big dog. Yeah. Grizzly.

[A]

I think I like big dogs, and I like Cody, too. Cody is small. Cody's very cute.

[B]

We are gonna have a party, and we're inviting 10 people, and our partners cannot come. Well, for you, that's happening. Debbie.

[A]

That's your whole list.

[B]

So who are we inviting?

[A]

Okay, easy. Naomi Smalls, Kim Chi.

[B]

They're on the list, obviously.

[A]

I think. Yeah. Okay.

[B]

I think we don't need anyone else. Peppermint can come.

[A]

Peppermint can come.

[B]

Mateo can come.

[A]

Mateo Lane, Nick Smith. Wow, you're gonna include Nick Smith.

[B]

We both sitting at the same time? Could you number them, Jacob, so that I can keep up with them instead? That'd be. If you just do one. Well, you can do that, too. They would number themselves if you do the thing, but that's fine.

[A]

And.

[B]

Okay, so now we. Who. Who are we putting up and who else? Who else is invited to this party? Patty?

[A]

No response.

[B]

I'm. Let's put a little asterisk next to Patty.

[A]

Taylor. Taylor will be fine. Taylor. Taylor will. Taylor will be great. Taylor will be great for morale. Taylor will have us all. Taylor will be looking at the glass half the whole time.

[B]

You didn't say about Patrick.

[A]

No. Oh, Patty is. The glass is almost empty.

[B]

Is this a balancing act? This is why we have Patrick and Todd.

[A]

But Patty's very. Patty is very resourceful. Oh, no, this is not the. I think we're on the party still. It's the party.

[B]

This is a party. What do we need? You can't make Patty work at the party. This is the party.

[A]

No, I was thinking I was. Something on the island.

[B]

No, we're not an island. We are at a party.

[A]

At a party.

[B]

Okay? In fact, we'll tell you. And again, if you want no ads, you can get on our Patreon. But if you are not on Patreon.

[A]

We'Ll take that to the break. Actually, tell them they don't have.

[B]

They don't have. They don't have the experience to break. You don't have to.

[A]

Ever catch yourself thinking, what if I could go after what I actually want and really want to make a difference? You're not alone. And that's exactly why I want to tell you about Walden University. For over 50 years, Walden has helped working adults like you get the knowledge and skills to build the future you want and make a difference.

[B]

If you've been waiting for the right moment, this is it. Head to waldenu.edu and take the first step. Walden University. Set a course for change. Certified to operate by Chev.

[A]

Should we enroll in Walden, Roberta? Should we. I'm already there.

[B]

Oh, all right. Okay. Probably guessing. This message is brought to you by today's sponsor, Walden University. Set a course for change. Want to make real change in your life, Career or community? At Walden University, we give you the support and flexibility to get the W. With online programs designed for working professionals. You'll gain hands on skills to take on real world changes and succeed. Your future is waiting and Walden is here to help you achieve it.

[A]

If you've been waiting for the right moment, this is it. Head to waldenu. Edu and take the first step. Walden University set a course for change. Certified to operate by chef.

[B]

Okay, this was getting really. Okay, this is getting really hard because now we have three people left. Are any family members coming? Do you have anyone in your family you want to come?

[A]

No, no family members.

[B]

These are friends.

[A]

No. Who you bring for your family? You bring Justin?

[B]

No, I'm not bringing Justin. I don't think Justin want to hang out with us.

[A]

I need someone going to do drugs.

[B]

Oh, Alex, Naomi would do drugs with you. Naomi would do drugs.

[A]

Don't say that about Naomi.

[B]

Said Naomi on the podcast scream we do drugs. She did. Did you not watch us? Alex is not coming. Take Alex off the list and meet. Alex is not coming. Why? No one's partner's there.

[C]

Wow.

[B]

Everyone with a partner has to be solo. So sorry, Alex. And Alex doesn't watch our podcast, so he'll never know about this.

[A]

He sure won't. We need three more. Three more people for party.

[B]

Okay, I'm going to invite. I would like. Do we want. Like who's. I'm going to say? Do you want Mitch to come?

[A]

I don't think Mitch is going to be. For the party.

[B]

Do we want.

[A]

Oh, actually, you know, Mitch could dj.

[C]

So Mitch is working.

[B]

So Mitch is working.

[A]

He's still at the party.

[B]

Wait, hold on.

[A]

I'm hosting at my house. I'm here making drinks and bringing out food and shit.

[B]

We all working. We're not hosting. This isn't. This is. This is at the Bellagio. In the ballroom. At the Bellagio in the gym room with just 10 people. Hey.

[A]

But all of us in this big ass room.

[B]

Yeah, we can afford it.

[A]

I think that Amber Wallen is fun vibes at a party.

[B]

But Ben can't come because no one's partner can be.

[A]

Yeah, Ben can't come.

[C]

What about the kids?

[A]

Yes, the kids can. Well, no, the kids.

[B]

There's one spot left. There's two kids. So the kids can't come.

[A]

The kids can't come.

[B]

So I would say Jasmine should be the last one.

[A]

Jasmine. I'm into that.

[B]

Jasmine W. Jasmine at the game that.

[A]

I had the other day. She was so fun. She's so funny.

[B]

She's Very fun. She's right. Okay.

[A]

That's a fun party.

[C]

Yeah, that was fun.

[A]

That was easy.

[B]

I like that.

[A]

No, that was good.

[B]

Nice. All right, Jacob, what's that next? What's the next one?

[C]

Okay, this is your final challenge.

[A]

Oh, God.

[C]

Monet, you need to get your phone out.

[B]

Oh, do I need my phone?

[C]

Nope.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

Why? You got a good phone.

[C]

Okay, together, you're ordering lunch for yourself from Doordash. You need to compromise on a restaurant and then figure out what you're going to get from the restaurant. And only Monet can be inputting the order onto the phone.

[B]

Well, you're not gonna lie.

[A]

No, I would never.

[B]

Why can only one of you be.

[C]

Putting the order in to make it more complicated?

[B]

Because she'll lie in screen record. Start screen recording right now.

[A]

I would not do that.

[B]

Start screen recording this very second so we can know if you're lying. Okay, show me that the screen. Show me that the screen is recording.

[A]

You don't need to see. I'm telling you, the ski is recording. Why would I lie about that?

[B]

Okay. And we need to do a. Do a. Do a. Well, how will they know when they start recording? I think you should have been, like, boom. Does it count down?

[A]

It does.

[B]

It's fine. All right. I don't know. Anyway. Okay, so ordering lunch.

[A]

Ordering lunch. Okay, I say hear me out. I said we go to a Cheesecake Factory.

[B]

The Cheesecake Factory.

[A]

Because you have an. We have. We have Italian, Mexican, Japanese. We have. There's an American. There's an array of different things.

[B]

I have not been to the Cheesecake Factory. I think I've been once in my whole life.

[A]

Let me tell you something. There's a. There's a meal for every flavor.

[B]

I don't even know what's there?

[A]

Everything. You tell me something. I'll tell you if it's at Cheesecake Factory.

[B]

Wait, so we. Are we both getting meals? Are we both getting the same meal?

[C]

You have to compromise on the restaurant.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

You're not. You can get whatever you want.

[B]

Oh, this is gonna be easy. I want wings.

[A]

Yeah, Cheesecake Factory has wings.

[B]

Open. Go to the app. How much? Who's paying for this?

[A]

You?

[B]

No, we're splitting the cost.

[A]

I don't think that's what it was.

[B]

I think we need limits. Like, how much money can we spend? We need more limits because this is gonna be too easy.

[C]

Well, let's get to seeing if the Cheesecake Factory has wings.

[B]

Okay. Are there wings there?

[A]

Well, can you search inside a restaurant?

[B]

Yeah. You go to the restaurant.

[A]

Oh, yeah, I see it.

[B]

And then you go. Yeah, type in wings. Yep.

[A]

Buffalo wings. And Buffalo wings are french fries. And you love both of those things.

[B]

This is what I want.

[A]

I know that's what you want.

[B]

What flavors do they have?

[A]

Just buffalo.

[B]

What?

[A]

Just Buffalo wings.

[B]

What spiciness are they?

[A]

I don't know. I've never had a Buffalo wings flavor.

[B]

Are they breaded?

[A]

Yes, they're breaded.

[B]

But I don't know what the spice flavor. What the flavor. What the spice profile is. They're good.

[A]

They're the best wings I've ever had.

[B]

You don't know that.

[A]

Yes, I have.

[B]

No. We gotta go somewhere else.

[A]

No. Okay.

[B]

Cause you know this menu very well, so you know you're gonna love what you got.

[A]

Somebody call me a fat bitch that just knows the menu so well.

[B]

You're the one. Like, it has Italian, it has beans, greens, potatoes, tomatoes, you name it. You like?

[A]

Yeah. Cause your fat ass know the menu, bitch.

[B]

You said you knew the menu anyways.

[A]

Okay, okay. So I've been suggesting. Do you want to suggest a restaurant?

[B]

Well, I think that we should go to.

[A]

Mm.

[B]

We should go to put the. We should go to Jacob's Pickle.

[A]

I don't really like Jacob's Pickle anymore.

[B]

Give me anymore.

[A]

It's gone down. The quality is not what it used to be. Sorry. Have you been in it?

[B]

Yeah. It's delicious.

[A]

When's the last time you were there?

[B]

Last time I was in New York, maybe like a couple months ago. Really?

[A]

Yeah. The chicken is over breaded, I think. Okay. I'll meet you at Maison Pickle, which has some Jacob Pickle elements.

[B]

I don't know Maison Pickles. You'll have to talk me through the whole menu.

[A]

The whole menu?

[B]

We'll go to Maison Pickle.

[A]

I don't think it will even pick up over here.

[B]

Well, then move your thing. This is. See, if I was controlling the fauna, we wouldn't have to. I would have knew that already. I'm starving over here. I'm literally starving to death. Where is Maison Pickle at?

[A]

It's in the Upper west side.

[B]

Is it French?

[A]

It's French. Ish. It's like more like Creole, you know?

[B]

Is this like New Orleans food?

[A]

No. Is it gumbo, for example? They have.

[B]

Is it like Haitian Creole?

[A]

No, they have like their big classic Mac and cheese. Is it fried chicken and toast? There's a classic.

[B]

So it's like Louisiana Creole kinda. Oh, the pull apart bread.

[A]

I know you love bread. The pull apart bread is the Honey butter. Pull apart bread is.

[B]

Don't Oprah me.

[A]

You love bread.

[B]

Don't Oprah me. Do they have wings?

[A]

They had the pull apart bread with herb butter.

[B]

What is pull apart bread?

[A]

It's like, you bake this bread like this, and they put a big slab of honey and butter in the middle, and it kind of comes together like monkey bread. And you pull it apart and it's like, okay, wheel.

[B]

That is a great appetizer. Do they have wings?

[A]

I don't know if they have wings. I think you might have to give up on the wings, girl. Everywhere.

[B]

Everywhere.

[A]

Don't have no goddamn wings.

[B]

I'm just asking.

[A]

They don't have wings. No results.

[B]

Okay, what do they have? Read me the menu.

[A]

I don't know what's there. There's a classic Caesar. There's a steak tartare. There's a French onion.

[B]

If, you know I don't want. You know, you can skip the ones you know I want. You think I want to eat steak tartare? Why would you? Do you think why? I want you to think about the times you always eat me. You think I want to eat a raw piece of steak?

[A]

Steak satar is good.

[B]

They have. Oh, you love it.

[A]

Skip the ones I don't want the bacon. Steak is so good. They take a piece of bacon and that's cut thick like a steak, and then you cut it like it's. It's a thin strip. Thin, thick shrimp.

[B]

I don't like steak.

[A]

It's bacon. Oh, it's bacon like a strip.

[B]

I thought it was steak cut like bacon.

[A]

No, it's bacon cut like steak.

[B]

I don't want it, though.

[A]

There's a sausage egg.

[B]

It.

[A]

You love sausage, egg and cheese.

[B]

On what?

[A]

On Texas toast.

[B]

Wait a minute, girl. Okay. Is it a link or a patty?

[A]

It is a patty.

[B]

You love it. Oh, this is great. I know.

[A]

Well, you love mulch patties. Patty, I love you.

[B]

Do you want. Okay, can I get it scrambled?

[A]

Yeah, it's scrambled.

[B]

Are you lying?

[A]

No, it's scrambled.

[B]

Okay, so I want my sausage, egg and cheese on Texas toast. Scrambled.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

And I want hash browns.

[A]

I don't think we have hash browns.

[B]

So what am I supposed to eat next to my.

[A]

A bacon steak.

[B]

Two entrees. Oh, yes, girl.

[A]

Yes, Mary.

[B]

Does it come with sides?

[A]

No, you have to get the sides separately.

[B]

Okay. What sides can I get.

[A]

Star? Oh, I don't know if they have sides like that. Girl.

[B]

They don't have sides at a restaurant.

[A]

Oh, brunch sides. There we go. We have a side of French toast.

[B]

Oh, that's not a size entree, dude.

[A]

We're splitting it.

[B]

This is. We're not splitting. This is my part of the meal.

[A]

No, I said we can split the side. The sides. You can have a hash.

[B]

How much money do we have to spend?

[C]

Focus on getting ordered together.

[A]

Breakfast potatoes, I think is hash browns.

[B]

I don't want that. Okay, I'll take the French toast. Okay.

[A]

And we can split it.

[B]

Get your own French toast. You can get your own French toast. You gonna eat a whole order of.

[A]

French toast by yourself?

[B]

Yeah, people eat Fritz all the time.

[A]

With not when they get the Texas toast.

[B]

Okay, we can split it. Okay, great. And I like some orange juice first squeeze.

[A]

You have pulp or no pulp?

[B]

No pulp.

[A]

No, you're getting pulp.

[B]

No, I don't want pulp.

[A]

No, you're getting pulp.

[B]

Why would you give me pulp?

[A]

Because I want to taste it.

[B]

Get your own orange juice.

[A]

No, but I want to taste yours. I don't want a whole glass. I just want, like, a little bit do.

[B]

No pulp. Monet.

[A]

I, I, I. I don't like that.

[B]

Okay, what are you ordering for yourself?

[A]

I'm gonna get the shrimp Caesar and the bacon steak for breakfast. Okay.

[B]

A shrimp Caesar for breakfast?

[A]

Yeah, with the bacon steak. It's gonna be good, girl.

[B]

Okay. That was easy.

[C]

I mean, it took you 10 minutes.

[B]

But, I mean, what is a mikois salad?

[A]

What I never see. I always see, like, a neuqua salad.

[B]

I don't know about a mikoy salad.

[A]

A nikoi.

[B]

A mikoy salad. I actually don't know. I just know in the album for the musical TikTok, he goes at the beginning of the song brunch, he goes, I'll have a mecoy salad and some honey bread.

[A]

Who is that? Roll?

[B]

It's just, like, a random. I don't even know who it is, but just some. Someone says, I'll have a meequoi salad and some honey bread. And that is like. I think about that all the time.

[A]

I know. Neuqua salad from Legally Blonde. Isn't that a line in it? A neuqua salad?

[B]

Actually, Jacob, can you look that up? Like, I think it says a miqui salad, but it's the song called Brunch from Tick Tick Boo.

[C]

I thought he said salad neuqua.

[B]

Well, we'll find out in a second.

[A]

That's where you all start. The little theater bags.

[B]

It's at the top of the song.

[C]

Online. Because it's not like.

[B]

Well, no, it's not the salon.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Oh, it's a Neuqua.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And some honey bread.

[A]

Yeah. Neuqua salad is like a thing.

[B]

Yeah. I don't know what that is. I just know it from that musical. Imagine you live together and must share one car. You need to create a roommate style car contract. You must agree on a weekly schedule who gets it for weekend. For weekends, nights. The rule of use said, like, the gas tank must be at least halfway full. No trash up inside. And the penalty for breaking a rule.

[A]

Okay, okay, I think first of all, we both work and run errands a lot during today. How are we going to handle this?

[B]

Well, do we talk about the kind of car we need? An suv?

[A]

Yes. You for sure.

[B]

With a hatchback.

[A]

Meaning, like what? Yeah, yeah, that's fine. I mean, that's not all SUVs open though.

[B]

No, some open to the side.

[A]

All right. Open to the side, yeah.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Although actually it kind of helps because sometimes when you're in a place like there's an air. There's an air conditioner duct right over my parking spot and my. Can't even open my thing all the way up. It's kind of annoying. Anyway, we literally both drive a black. We literally both drive black issues.

[A]

But I was just saying, like, in my future, I think I'll do a different color. I wanted to kind of get my car wrapped in like an olive hunter green.

[B]

I don't want a green car. I would like it. You. I know you. I know you're comfortable driving a black car.

[A]

I'm comfortable with it. But we're also. We're negotiating. I'm getting a new car. I'm getting a new lease.

[B]

So I would do like blue. I would do red. I would do a dark blue.

[A]

Okay, I'm into that. Let's do like a dark navy blue.

[B]

Okay. A dark blue card. Got it.

[A]

What, what, what make and model?

[B]

I mean, I'm not super. As long as it is like a crossovery type. Like, I don't want to drive a Suburban.

[A]

Same.

[B]

Or a Lincoln Navigator. I would like it to look like, like a, like a Toyota Venza, a Lexus or a Rivian.

[A]

What about a Rivian? They're. They're electric.

[B]

They're. They're pickup trucks. Are they Rivians are pickup trucks.

[A]

No, I have the ones that are like, look like. Jake, can you look it up? The Rivian. They have the ones that look like. They look like little crossover SUVs. I've seen those.

[B]

The Rivian SUV, Air R I V I.

[A]

A N. Yeah. Rivian SUV.

[B]

See, it's a little big. That's, that's, that's the size of a Suburban. That's too big.

[A]

That is too big.

[B]

You'll never find parking in la.

[A]

Yeah, that is too big. I don't like that actually.

[B]

So we. Whatever car you have right now, that works fine for me. It looks. It's the same size as my car.

[A]

Okay, yeah, we'll do that.

[B]

Okay, so what kind of car is it?

[A]

It's a BMW X6. I knew I knew you. I knew one from the time you did that. You were just trying.

[B]

I, you're, you're.

[A]

See through your fucking. Your cellophane, bitch.

[B]

$77,000 and they go up to 135,000 and she owns it.

[A]

Oh my God. I knew you were. I could smell you from literally a mile away.

[B]

Woo.

[A]

Anyway, so, okay, so we're gonna do that. What's the schedule like? I need to have a gym today.

[B]

During the day.

[A]

You don't go anywhere during the day. You come to work, to your studio, you stay here. You leave in the evening, so you. So I think you should Uber to work. I used to do it today and you can have it at night.

[B]

I go first of all. I don't go anywhere at night.

[A]

I don't anywhere at night either.

[B]

I take my ass home. So what this what needs to happen.

[A]

Wait, hold on. That is language. That's not gonna work. What needs to happen? This is crazy. No, what you would like to happen is what what needs to happen. What you like to happen.

[B]

You can drop me off at work. I'm not taking an Uber to work.

[A]

So now I'm. Yeah, so now I'm your fucking chauffeur?

[B]

Well, as you know, my studio is very close to your home. This is not out of your way.

[A]

So. No, that means I am driving. So let me get this straight. You want me to get my black.

[C]

Ass up in this situation world. You're roommates who live together with our dog.

[A]

So we said. We live over here in the Valley.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Okay. What time you need to get to work?

[B]

10 o' clock every morning. My hours are 10 to 6. Okay, you know what?

[A]

I go to the gym. Typically from seven to nine. I can come. But now I'm doing Spanish class though. So my class is from 9:30. So here's the thing. Okay, I can drive it. Say it again. Yeah, okay, I can drive you, but you have to come to work a little early. I can drop you off at 9:30. I can't drop off at 10 o'. Clock.

[B]

I could do 9:30.

[A]

Actually 9:15.

[B]

I feel like. Because I agreed. You just pushed it.

[A]

No, because my class thoughts at 9:30.

[B]

It feels like I agreed and then you just pushed it earlier.

[A]

Class thoughts. Okay, 9:20. Claim to be back home by 10. By 9:30.

[B]

Okay, 9:20.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

I'll be at work at 9:20. I have now shifted my office hours. Now I work from 9:20 to 5:20.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

For.

[A]

For this car that we're sharing that we agree to. I. I said we can get separate. You wanted to do it together.

[B]

I still run errands.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

Taylor is here. Taylor can drive us sometime during the day when he's in town. But on days that Taylor's not here, I will need to because where are you driving the car to during the day?

[A]

A bunch of areas around town.

[B]

Every day?

[A]

Most days. I'm always doing something.

[B]

Every day you're running errands.

[A]

Not every day, but the days you know what, the days I don't have errands, you're more than welcome to use it. I'll let you use it.

[B]

You'll let me?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

You will let me use my own.

[A]

Car on the days I don't have errands?

[B]

Yes you will. So when do I get the car?

[A]

On days I don't have stuff to do it with.

[B]

So your plan is let you use the car at your own beck and will and then when you're ready, just let me use it. I get to you. That's your proposal?

[A]

I'm literally chauffeuring you to and from work. I am basically working for you. I have to mix it up to every day, take you to your studio at 9:20 in the morning.

[B]

Every day.

[A]

I do stop my day.

[B]

Not your rule. Not one. Because when they does the thing where she'll show up like we film at 5 and I'll be like Monet walking in at 5:50 or 5:5 5:05. She'll be like I was in the parking lot at 5. I need to be in my chair. Right. So you at 9:20.

[A]

So you have a personal show.

[B]

I need to be here by like 9:18.

[A]

I said 15. But you didn't want to do that. So.

[B]

But I'm just making sure you know, I mean in my chair, working.

[A]

So now I wasted 9:15. We're leaving the house at 9:15.

[B]

We're leaving THE house at 9:15. Yes.

[A]

Great. That's what, that's a proposal before anyway, so now I, I have to clear my schedule to drop you off at work and whatever.

[B]

This fit into your schedule. And you. You've made it. You're not clearing anything. You've made this very clear.

[A]

There are things that I do. I have. I'll have to. I have to curtail some things to accommodate you on this driving.

[B]

But you're not clearing your.

[A]

You mean.

[B]

You mean you were clear. You're not clearing your schedule.

[A]

Well, I'm curtailing my schedule for you.

[B]

Okay, we'll work around that.

[A]

And then I had to clear my schedule sometimes and pick you up at, what, 5, 20?

[B]

But also, what about the mornings where I'm going to film, like, Brittany Broski's podcast or I'm going over to do, you know, Nicole Byers podcast?

[A]

Taylor?

[B]

No, from home.

[A]

We live together.

[B]

Yeah. So what about those mornings where I have to go, are you gonna drive me?

[A]

Are you gonna drive me?

[B]

Drive me to those places on those.

[A]

Mornings, you have to tell me how long you're gonna be gone, and I can see if that works. If you're gonna go film the podcast is that you can't just have the car.

[B]

The plan is just. You have the car. That I have to just beg you for rides.

[A]

No, no, you're not begging me. We're agreeing.

[B]

You can. This. This plan. You can't just keep the car, Monet. I don't.

[A]

I'm not keeping it.

[B]

We're talking about it Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays. We need to do days of the week. That's the only way that's gonna work. We need to do days of the week.

[A]

So someone has it for the whole day.

[B]

The whole day.

[A]

And it's okay. So I have it Monday, Wednesday, Friday. You have it Tuesday, Thursday, Sunday.

[B]

And what about that extra day? We rotate once a week. We rotate.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

So every other week someone gets an extra day.

[A]

An extra day? No, I have it Monday, Wednesday. I have it Monday, Wednesday, Friday. You have it Tuesday, Thursday, Sunday.

[B]

That's only six days a week.

[A]

And then Saturdays. I think I should have it in the morning. You have it in the evening because you're on the morning person anyway. You're not getting up early.

[B]

I'm not. You're not a morning person.

[A]

I am a morning person.

[B]

I'm not as much of a morning.

[A]

Person as you are. I'm up 7am every day.

[B]

I'm up 7aM some days.

[A]

Some days.

[B]

So what time you bring the car back?

[A]

We do split it in the middle. So I have it from 12am to 12 to 12pm you have it from 12pm to 12am no.

[B]

Monet. What?

[A]

That's the perfect hours for you. You don't like to go out. You don't hang out late.

[B]

You get up. You're having it from midnight until noon. And then I have from noon till midnight. Those are the perfect hours for you. Actually, this works out exactly.

[A]

Everything you want to do happens in those hours.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

Why are you trying to fight?

[B]

Because I was hearing something else. I heard I had it from midnight. Because I was hearing that I had it from midnight to. Yeah.

[A]

No.

[B]

Okay. This was easy. Who's washing the car?

[A]

Girl, we take it to the. Do you want to hand wash the car?

[B]

No, I drive it to the thing. Yeah. What day does it get washed?

[A]

It gets washed when it needs it. I think as it goes, it needs.

[B]

To be a day of the week. Mondays?

[A]

I don't think so.

[B]

Every Monday?

[A]

No, Saturdays.

[B]

Every Wednesdays.

[A]

Saturday.

[B]

Every Friday.

[A]

Saturday.

[B]

Every Sunday.

[A]

Saturday.

[B]

On Saturday. What time? We have to do it before noon. Why you got to.

[A]

Well, you know, the discounts are afternoon.

[B]

Is that a thing?

[A]

Yes.

[B]

Are there really discounts on car wash afternoon?

[A]

Saturday afternoon? Because that's what people.

[B]

She lying.

[A]

That's the days people don't go wash their cars. You people are busy running errands and stuff. Saturdays afternoon. So it falls in line with your schedule. Actually, I don't think that's true. It is a thing.

[B]

You're making that up.

[A]

I'm not making it up.

[B]

Saturday afternoons is just the discount day. You know the industry standard for discounts per car.

[A]

Once a week, girl.

[B]

During the discount time.

[A]

Not always during the discount time.

[B]

So it's okay to do it during non discount time?

[A]

It's okay to do it, but I think we're trying to save money because we spent money on this expensive ass car you want to get.

[B]

How about gas?

[A]

I think as it goes. I think you. I think every time you use a car, gas it up.

[B]

The car should never come back with less than a quarter tank of gas.

[A]

I agree. Ever agree? What if someone wants to get electric car? Where you want to get a gas guffler?

[B]

You chose this car?

[A]

No, I said.

[B]

You said you had the Rivian. But that's a huge car.

[A]

But it's electric.

[B]

What? You don't know? You know that song?

[A]

What?

[B]

It's electric. D D D D D d d d d d D yeah, it's. Yes. Electric Slide.

[A]

Tell me you're doing the Hustle. You're doing the Hustle.

[B]

What the. It's electric.

[A]

That's a hustle.

[B]

It's electric. It is. The Electric Slide. I can't remember. Anyway, we got to go. Bye, everyone. Bye.