The One About Cumming

Summary

Sibling Rivalry — “The One About Cumming” (February 8, 2023)

Hosts: Bob the Drag Queen and Monét X Change

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Episode Overview

This lively, hilarious, and very NSFW episode of Sibling Rivalry revolves around bodily habits, sexual exploration, and the intimate details of self-care. Bob and Monét, both Drag Race royalty known for their unfiltered comedic banter, get candid about everything from the art of the orgasm to wild hookup stories—and plenty in between. The episode weaves in discussions of race and cultural background, personal hygiene, sexual kinks, and favorite sodas, always maintaining the hosts’ signature irreverence and warmth.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Soda Confessions & Cultural Stereotypes

[05:04–08:19]

• Bob and Monét discuss fruit sodas and their surprising popularity in Black Southern communities—a jumping-off point for larger commentary on regional and cultural habits.
  • Bob: “No soda slaps like peach soda. Oh, my God.” [05:58]
  • Monét admits she’s never even seen peach soda in stores.
• The talk transitions into humorous, honest reflections on food shame and stereotype:
  • Bob: “Whenever a white person says the words ‘fried chicken,’ I be like, here it comes. Someone’s about to be racist. You about to lose your job.” [09:26]

2. Body Goals and Self-Acceptance

[11:43–13:15]

• Both hosts set “New Year, New Me” intentions, with a twist: Bob is adamant about setting goals unrelated to bodily change, emphasizing self-acceptance and mental wellness.
  • Bob: “This year is not going to be about me not liking my body... I am 36 years old. This is a battle I’m not interested in.” [12:31]
• Monét shares her plan to give up refined sugar but admits her love of Nerds Clusters and peach rings.

3. Hygiene Habits: The Great Teeth Brushing Debate

[13:54–15:21]

• Bob and Monét hilariously clash over teeth-brushing routines.
  • Bob jokes he only brushes three times a week: “I brush my teeth Monday, Wednesday, and Friday at noon. That is literally it." [14:28]
  • Monét is perplexed: “How many times a day? Probably twice a day.” [14:12]
• The conversation extends into self-deprecating humor, with Bob claiming his mouth has “figured out a way to unsmell itself.”

4. Bathroom Habits: Wiping & Bidets

[17:16–24:51]

• An unfiltered (and graphic) breakdown of how each host wipes after using the toilet.
  • Bob reveals his unique technique: “I grab my dick and balls and push them to the side… I go to the back and swipe forward… I use three squares at a time.” [18:06]
  • Monét details her multi-step system: toilet paper, flushable wipe, then bidet—topped off with a sniff test: “Then I put on the bidet… four tissue squares, make sure that we are squeaky clean. Smells clean. Done.” [21:44]
  • Bob and Monét explain why “flushable” wipes really aren’t, and why bidets can leave you feeling “just wet.”

5. Orgasm Descriptions and Sexual Exploration

[28:20–31:09]

• Bob prompts Monét to describe what an orgasm feels like, particularly for those with penises.
  • Monét: “It feels like a very, very, very pleasant eruption of ecstasy…” [29:27]
  • Bob breaks it down further: “It’s all the energy and tingles gathering… from your belly button and upper thighs, just tingling, but not tickling, tingling in a way that feels like… it feels really good.” [30:12]
• Comparisons made to sneezing, hot water on an itch, and cleaning ears.

6. Funny and Embarrassing Hookup Stories

[36:38–50:20]

• The hosts trade tales of hookups gone awry: loud screamers, staying at a trick’s house in drag, and mismatches in aftercare.
  • Monét: “First of all, his pillows were just covered in my makeup… My mudslide pillows are just brown with my makeup all over it.” [43:12]
  • Bob shares about a guy intentionally blowing air into his ass to create farts as part of a fetish, (Bob: “You cannot non-consensually give someone gas. It hurts your stomach!” [48:00]), and reflects on sexual boundaries.
• Both hosts discuss their past attraction to (much) older men and recount situations involving “kink requests” (e.g., going without showering).

7. Ass Eating as an Artform

[52:15–52:58]

• Monét reflects affectionately on an older partner “who could eat ass like nobody’s business,” describing a 90+ minute session.
  • Bob concludes, “If you're out there and you're an ass eater, you might be able to eat your way to Monet's heart." [52:58]

8. Drag, Mentorship, & Opera

[57:22–62:46]

• A spirited discussion on why so many opera singers enter drag, naming other drag/opera queens: Shaquita, Jasmine Rice, Q De la Rouge, “Just a Minute.”
  • Monét reveals her dream: to play Zarastro in The Magic Flute with a full drag ensemble.
• The conversation ends in friendly bickering about who secured gigs for whom, illustrating the supportive (but competitive) nature of drag families.

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Memorable Quotes & Moments

• “No soda slaps like peach soda. Oh my God.” — Bob [05:58]
• “I brush my teeth Monday, Wednesday, and Friday at noon. That is literally it. Sometimes I do just Monday and Friday.” — Bob [14:28]
• “If you’re out there and you’re an ass eater, you might be able to eat your way to Monet’s heart.” — Bob [52:54]
• “Can you describe what an orgasm feels like for someone with a penis?” — Bob [28:20]
• “Have you ever wondered what it feels like to have a wet… I wonder what it feels like to have a wet pussy.” — Bob [25:14]
• Monét on post-drag hookups: “His pillows were just covered in my makeup… and I was wearing a synthetic wig, when I tell you this—the wig is just looking crazy.” [43:12]
• “You cannot non-consensually give someone gas. And it hurts your stomach.” — Bob [48:00]

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Notable Segments (with Timestamps)

• Fruit Soda Confessional & Cultural Commentary: [05:04–08:19]
• Resisting Diet Resolutions & Self-Acceptance: [11:43–13:15]
• Debate: Toothbrushing Frequency: [13:54–15:21]
• How to Wipe (and Clean) Properly: [17:16–24:51]
• Describing Orgasms: [28:20–31:09]
• Hookups, Fetish Stories, and Kink Limits: [36:38–50:20]
• Opera, Drag, and Dreams: [57:22–59:38]

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Tone & Style

This episode is classic Sibling Rivalry: outrageously candid, physical, body-positive, sex-positive, and utterly unfiltered. Bob and Monét amplify each other’s humor while offering genuine insights into drag and queer life. Their banter is playful but also supportive, reflecting the real intimacy and honesty of queer friendships.

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Final Thoughts

For fans of Sibling Rivalry, this episode is a quintessential, laugh-out-loud ride through bodily taboos, sexual candor, and drag drama—with plenty of meme-worthy one-liners. Not for the faint of heart (or sensitive ears), but essential listening for anyone who loves Bob and Monét’s blend of filth, fun, and forthrightness.

Transcript

[A]

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[B]

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[A]

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[B]

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[A]

Namaste.

[B]

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[A]

My name is Bob the Drag Queen,

[B]

and I'm Monet's James, and this is simply rivalry.

[A]

On this week's episode, I reveal my favorite soda.

[B]

We talk about the art of the orgasm.

[A]

And we find out what made Monet say this.

[B]

I didn't know what it was. I never asked anyone. I don't know what I. I can't remember what I thought it was.

[A]

I was just like, why is this like.

[B]

Like, what is this, like, fountain in here? Like, I didn't know what it was. And we find out what made Bob say this.

[A]

If you're out there and you're. And you're an ass eater, you might. You might be able to eat your way to Monet's heart. Good morning, Monet.

[B]

It's.

[A]

It's the morning. Yeah. Yeah. You literally just want to fight out of nowhere. You want to disagree with me so badly that you about to defy all logic and reasoning and just start fighting. This was you. It's. Whatever.

[B]

Oh, my God. Do you know what? I found a video recently and I have to play it for you really quick.

[A]

What did you say? You said a music video.

[B]

Not a music video, just a video.

[A]

Oh, a video. Send it on the group chat and we'll. Are we allowed to put it in here? Will it. Will it take away our monetization if we put it in the thing?

[B]

No, we can, we can, we can. We can put on the thing. I just have to play it really quick.

[A]

Oh, wait, you can't send it to the face to the group message.

[B]

Yeah, but I want you to hear it, though.

[A]

I can hear it if I, you know, I can hear it on my phone.

[B]

Does that ring a bell?

[A]

It sounds familiar. Is that the one that's like,

[B]

at the end?

[A]

Is that. Is that.

[B]

Do you mean the one where she's

[A]

like, baby, when they look up at the sky, or is that something different? Oh, yeah.

[B]

So good.

[A]

Me and Monet used to quote that. What I tell y' all all. What's his name? Chris. What's his name? I don't know. His name was like Chris or something. Me and Monet used to quote that video. All this was a huge vine video. It was this guy who'd be like that one friend that can sing. Yeah. Is that the one that's like, w.

[B]

These old vine people and stuff? Like, besides. I mean, obviously she's not the only one besides T.S. madison. These old people who are old people. These people who were so big on vine and stuff, like, they haven't. I did not say. I meant like people you did say.

[A]

Also.

[B]

You didn't say older platform. Older platform. That they haven't replicated that on things like. Cause I feel like people would respond well to this on TikTok and stuff

[A]

now, but maybe a lot of them have made it big. Lily Pons, Brent Rivera.

[B]

Who the hell is Brent Rivera?

[A]

King Bach, A lot of them. All of them were from Vine Girl, and they're huge now.

[B]

Oh, yeah. King Bach. Oh, yeah. He's.

[A]

He's.

[B]

He's an actor. He's been a lot of stuff, you

[A]

know, a lot of people. A lot, A lot of people. He is. He is one of the folks on the Internet. People are like, we do not fuck with King Bach. He is someone that. Because he used to make a lot of anti black videos, really, where it'd be like a video of him being like. It'd be like a bit of him, like chugging grape soda while dressed like a slave. And he'd be like. They'd be like, the bit.

[B]

Damn. And he's also Canadian.

[A]

Is that black people? Is that black people's to. To. Is it. Is that black people's stuff to like, is that different than what Tyler Perry's doing?

[B]

I mean. Well, here's the thing. Is it like, you know. Cause he's Canadian.

[A]

I think he might still be a descendant of American chattel slavery, though. A lot of Canadians are because, you know, a lot of people. A lot of people escape to Canada.

[B]

But I would say grape soda is a I feel like that's a Southern American thing. That is not a. That is not really up in New York. That's not in the Caribbean, and maybe it's in Canada.

[A]

The way I was drinking grape soda this holiday, girl, that. First of all, I posted a video online of me. Of me drinking one of my warm sodas because everyone was so gagged that me and my family do this. And. And I was like, am I gonna grab a grape soda? But I want a grape soda. I don't know what it is about black Southerners. We love fruit flavored soda. Specifically. Specifically. Specifically. Because orange. Yeah, but everyone likes orange soda. Especially kale, but specifically grape strawberry. And this next one is the one that we have not told y' all about. This next soda is the one that black Southerners are keeping a secret from the rest of you all, because we actually like this next one way more than we like grape soda. And every black stuff is about to come to come and be like, don't tell our secrets when I tell you. No soda slaps like peach soda. Oh, my God. Peach.

[B]

No, no.

[A]

Peach soda is.

[B]

First of all, what company makes peach soda?

[A]

Fanta. Fanta Welch's Fancy. Yes, they do.

[B]

I've never even seen peach soda, like, available in the store.

[A]

Fanta and Welch's both make peach soda, and I used to drink them in New York City. I drink them in Georgia. I. Peach soda is. Is superior to. Also, do you know that when the lady who said chicken salad, she's not saying superior. She's saying superior. That's the street the deli's on.

[B]

Is. Is this the get you one of these chicken salad lady?

[A]

Yeah, she's saying serperior, which is the street that the deli's on. Oh, so she the girl who made a video. She was like, why y' all talking about some superior? She's like, let me tell you something right now. If you not from here, don't come to superior. This is. This is not one of the areas you walk around. He. She goes, I'm from here, and I don't even go to superior. She's like, do not. Don't bring your white ass to superior.

[B]

I don't even know that part of the thing. All I know is y' all better come get you one of these. What is it? A chicken salad? I didn't even know there was. They said the word superior.

[A]

Yeah. And she goes, superior.

[B]

Oh, got it. Yeah. So I would say in New York, we do pineapple soda. Pineapple and orange. But, like, it's not like, oh, everyone likes that. But I think Southern people like fruit, like, grape, whatever. Like, that's like a thing. That's not like a thing above Maryland.

[A]

I used to. I used to go to the cornets over at 110 in Broadway. I highly recommend you go to the coronet at 110 and Broadway if y' all are in these streets.

[B]

Oh, they're not there anymore. No, I'm kidding. I don't know. I don't know.

[A]

I thought I was like, that was just there. It's such good pizza. It is great. Honestly, my favorite pizza in New York City, Coronet is busing. Busting. My favorite piece in New York City. But they sold grape soda. And I would be in there and I'd be like. The first time I'd be like, can I go to grape soda? But then I was like, no, give me a grape soda. I would look around because I don't want to be embarrassed to drink grape soda. Because I want to drink grape soda. Okay.

[B]

As a black person, I've never had that experience, especially as, like, a West Indian person. I love beef patties. I love jerk chicken. I love, like. I've never had, like, a thing about. Well, I think it's just. Just fat meat. I've been fat all my life, so I've never, ever been shy about food. I like fried chicken. I like the things that, you know, whatever.

[A]

Have a Caribbean don't really have a shame around eating beef patties. There's no, like, look, it's not like black folks eating fried chicken. Even. Even. I think even people from the Caribbean when they fried chicken, I feel like, even. No, I'm saying they don't have any shame around eating beef patties. I feel like even Caribbean folks come to America, they be like, I ain't eating no fried chicken for anybody. Like, even.

[B]

I don't think so.

[A]

Is that just an American thing?

[B]

I think just an American thing.

[A]

So you telling me that you would never think twice about eating fried chicken in front of white people?

[B]

Well, now that I have. Now that now live in America, like, But when I first, like, being an adult and, like, knowing all the history now, even. But now, not today, no. But like, in, like, my mid-20s, maybe, as I became an informative adult and learning things, sure, I may have felt weird, but coming from St. Lucia and, like, with my family and stuff, that was never a thing.

[A]

I am trying to unlearn that. I was talking to a friend recently. He was talking about eating fried chicken, and I was like, I gotta be honest with you. Whenever a white person says the words fried chicken, I'd be like, here it comes. Here comes some racist. When I don't get. Whenever I hear a white person say the words fried chicken, even if they're talking about them eating themselves, the words fried chicken, I'd be like, here it comes. They're about to be someone. Someone's about to be racist. Somebody's about to be racist. You about to lose your job. Oh, real quick, too. In terms of other, other sodas. I'm giving up sodas in the new year, so I'm going a little soda crazy right now. And the plot twist. This was film. This was filmed last year. I just, I just sent it to the chat so we can put it on the screen. This mother fucking soda. Pepsi fucking. Pepsi went crazy. Pepsi went crazy.

[B]

Is this something? Is this. I don't understand.

[A]

This is a new soda. Pepsi went crazy on this. You have to, you have to pour it into a glass when I tell you. Because just, I don't know, Monet. It's just, it says on the back. So I did it. I drink it from the can, I pour it in the glass. Pepsi went crazy on this. They went crazy. This is out of control. This is delicious. But also Coca Cola has a deal with the marshmallow, the DJ marshmallow. They're selling a watermelon strawberry soda. Do not waste your money. Do.

[B]

Is it not good?

[A]

It is bad. Bad. Do not. It does not taste anything like a shirt. Like a cherry Coke. Do not get it. It is, it is bad. Bad. But this, this motherfucker. Oh, amazing.

[B]

Okay, well, okay, wait. So this year, in 2020. This year. So, so we'll talk about goals a little bit later. But, so one of your goals for this year is to give up soda?

[A]

Not Red Bulls, though. Everything but Red Bull.

[B]

I mean, but sugar free. Red Bull is.

[A]

I didn't say giving up sugar. I said giving up sodas, so. Because this includes Coca Cola, so that

[B]

means not even sugar. Freeze.

[A]

Yeah, so I'm wondering if I should.

[B]

Why?

[A]

I don't know, but I haven't actually solidified the idea yet. Am I going to give up sugary drinks or am I going to give up sodas? You know what I mean? Maybe I'll give, Maybe I'll give up sugary drinks.

[B]

Sugary drinks? Yeah, I think sugar free, right? I mean, I, I, One of my goals for coming. I guess we can dive, we, you know, what's our podcast? We can dive into the topic a little early before the break, one of my goals this year for 2023 is to give up refined sugars. Like, I love candies and sweets, so trying to give up sugar in general as well. I want to give up. No, I. Ooh, Nerds clusters. It's basically like someone took a nerds rope and they chopped it up, and it's just these little cluster balls.

[A]

It.

[B]

To me, it's probably one of the greatest candies in the world currently. How I feel about it. I'm trying to give up all shooks like that. Like, little. Little gummies, little. I love. I love getting peach rings. I want to give up all of that stuff. No, no, no, no, no, no sugar.

[A]

I'm also setting a lot of goals that have nothing to do with my body. Like, I'm trying to set goals that don't have to do with changing my body. I am not going in. I mean, we're here. We're in 2023. This year is not going to be about me not liking my body. That this is not going to be my journey. I am not. I'm not doing this cycle again. I will not do another year of. By the end of the year being like, well, this is my body. I'm. I cannot do this anymore. I am 36 years old. This is a. A battle. I'm not interested. I don't want to. I do not want to have this battle again. But what I do want to do is wake up every morning and check my emails. That is something I want to do every morning. Wake up and check my emails. Like, I think I was doing, like, office hours, like, where I work eight hours a day.

[B]

No matter what, I believe in you. I mean, to me, it's like, it's second nature to me. Like, I. That's the first thing I do when I wake up. Like, let me see. Okay. Wake up, open my phone, check any text messages that came in. Got it. Then I go to my emails. Then I do social media. I will say having a desktop computer changed a lot of that for me, because having a desktop, I would get out of my room, brush my teeth, do my things, and I come sit, and I'll come do that. Well, when I'm home. That helped me out a lot.

[A]

And I did this. Wait, whoa. You brush your teeth every morning?

[B]

Yes. What?

[A]

So you brush your teeth.

[B]

Literally,

[A]

you brush your teeth every day? It's like, how many times would you brush your teeth?

[B]

How many times a day? Probably twice a day. Monet.

[A]

You brush your teeth twice a day?

[B]

Twice? Yes. I Do.

[A]

That is not good for your teeth.

[B]

That's not true. You heard that, Monique? That is not true.

[A]

Three times a week you're supposed to

[B]

brush your teeth after every meal. But you know.

[A]

No, I brush my teeth Monday, Wednesday and Friday at noon. That is literally it. Monday, Wednesday, Friday.

[B]

Sometimes you skip a day.

[A]

Yeah, sometimes I do. Just Monday and Friday. The American Dental association recommends brushing your teeth once a day with fluoride toothpaste for one minute each time. Once a day. That's too often.

[B]

Sometimes you'd be walking throughout your day. You do it in the morning and by like 5 o', clock, you know, you got a little, you got a little yak yak in there. So I'd be just hitting it again, real fresh.

[A]

Because I don't. Because I brush my teeth sometimes twice a week. My breath doesn't get. Because my breath, my breath has. My mouth has figured out a way to unsmell itself. You're brushing your teeth. You've ridded your mouth of the ability just to smell good on its own.

[B]

So you're kind of like a self cleaning oven over there.

[A]

Because the toothpaste kills the good bacteria that helps clean out your mouth.

[B]

Yeah, well, you know, have you seen that?

[A]

That there's this trend on. I mean, I've been doing this literally for years now where you act like you do something gross, but you really don't. But now a lot of people online are doing it too. This guy was doing this bit. There's no way he was, there's no way he was being for real. There's no way he was being for real. This woman was like, I'm gonna leave. This is so gross. He was like, you just shit in the toilet. And they were like. And he was, she was like, yeah. He goes, you don't catch it. And. And everyone was like, what? He was like, yeah, I catch it. I catch the shit and then I place it in the toilet. And then everyone is like, you're lying, you're lying, you're lying. There's no way you're for real. He was like, I literally catch my shit.

[B]

And I put it.

[A]

I've been doing this for my whole life. And I was like, but I, I honestly, I don't know why that is. So. That's humor. I used, I did it. I think I started doing it in high school when someone was talking about showering. I was like, no, I don't shower anymore. I just use, I use Windex. And I'm like, what? I was like, yeah, just spray Windex on like a towel and I just like rub myself. I do not know why that's so funny to me.

[B]

Wait, do you. Do you wipe? What? Do you. When you number two, do you wipe like. Okay, let's take a break and then I'll tell you about this. Hey, it's Ryan Reynolds here for Mint Mobile. Now I was looking for fun ways to tell you that Mint's offer of unlimited Premium Wireless for $15 a month is back. So I thought it would be fun if we made $15 bills, but it turns out that's very illegal. So there goes my big idea for the commercial. Give it a [e-mail] Switch upfront payment of $45 for three months, $90 for six months or $180 for a 12 month plan required $15 per month equivalent to taxes and fees.

[A]

Extra initial plan term only greater than 50 gigabytes.

[B]

Me slow when network is busy.

[A]

See terms.

[B]

Okay, we're back. When you chew, do you're sitting on a toilet bowl?

[A]

I'm.

[B]

I'm going to step back a little bit. So y. I'm.

[A]

I'm already going to tell you a friend that I, I do mine. I do mine weird. I'm going to tell you right now. I do mine weird. But go ahead.

[B]

Do you go between your legs and wipe back to front like crack to balls or do you go to the side and wipe balls to crack?

[A]

Okay, I know that most people go from the back, which is insane to me. That's insane. I.

[B]

To do it like this way.

[A]

That's crazy. And I know that most people do that. I'm not doing a bit. I'm not doing a bit. What I do is I grab my dick and balls and I push them to the side and then I take the paper and by the way, I, and I use. And I'm. I'm not doing a bit right now. This is for real. I use three squares at a time.

[B]

These people, I can't with that. I agree. I don't like using this too much.

[A]

And then you go in like this.

[B]

You'd be like this.

[A]

That is crazy. I use three squares at a time. I literally pull off three squares. I fold them over three. I'm not even. I'm not doing a bit. I push my dick and balls to the side and I, I go to the back of my butthole and I swipe forward and then I. And then I fold it in half. And then I do it again. And then I fold it in half. I fold it again. A third time, I do it again, and then I repeat the process. And that's what I've. That's why I've done my whole. I used to. I used to be one of these people. But as I got old, I was like, you only need three squares at a time. Like, that's why I use extra strong. I use extra strong toilet paper. But also, I feel like when you go from the back, you just dragging the shit for your entire crack. My shit never touches my crack. Like, it never goes up my butt crack. Like, it goes up from the hole, and then I scoop it. As we know, my taint is very small. As we. As we've discussed two fingers. We've already discussed that. Monet is. Monet's like this up in this. Okay, So I scoop toward my balls. And some folks are like, well, blah, blah, blah. Obviously, you don't do that. Obviously. If you have a vagina, that might not be great because you're swiping poop toward your pussy. But I don't have a vagina. I have a, you know, a closure down here. So I just scoop it toward the balls, and it's just. It makes sense to me because it's the least distance for the. Like, you're just dragging shit up your entire ass crack.

[B]

Okay, so a few takeaways here. I identify with some of your story, and some of it I don't identify with. But I, like, I agree with you on the tissue. And I think that maybe, like a. Maybe that me growing up with a very strict mom who was like, don't be wasting my toilet paper. Like, I am very, very, very, very, very, very, very. What's the word? Frugal. Frugal with my toilet paper. I don't do three, though. I probably take maybe four squares, and I make it to be one square. Wipe, Fold. Wipe. Sometimes we can get a third fold up in there. We can get just a little bit more sometimes. And then. But when you go this way, I just feel like you are doing gymnastics. And also, I have a lot of ass.

[A]

I have.

[B]

I have.

[A]

Reaching around is more ass. You're reaching around the ass. Monet monster. Monet's ass is touching her elbow. This chit is like, the whole thing.

[B]

This bitch. I need to be a fucking gymnast. I need to be flexible to go this way.

[A]

This is.

[B]

I am crunching. I. Bitch. I am doing ab work to fucking wipe my ass.

[A]

That is too much. But you're dragging shit up your entire ass.

[B]

But I. Okay, here's the thing. So I Do the toilet paper. Then I go in with a flushable wipe.

[A]

And the second wipe, they're not flushable. Continue.

[B]

Yes, that's what it says on the package. They make flush. They make. They make the great.

[A]

They make, but they're actually in the bathroom environment. Go ahead, continue. Get a bidet. Get yourself a bidet.

[B]

I do have a bidet, so.

[A]

Oh, I'm not done.

[B]

Listen, I have a.

[A]

You know, why are you using flushable wipes and a bidet?

[B]

Hold on, let me. Let me tell you my story. So then I go in with the flushable wipe, and then I get that. One of those fold. Do that twice. We're practically. There is no. Pretty much no residue there. Like, there's nothing there by this point. Then I put on the bidet. Squirt, squirt, squirt, squirt, squirt. Get another four tissue squares. Make sure that we are squeaky clean. Smells clean. Done.

[A]

You smell. Wait, what are you smelling?

[B]

Your hand.

[A]

Wait. Okay, this is wild. What are you smelling?

[B]

The third pass after I've used the bidet because it's squeaky clean, but I want to make sure there's no smell too.

[A]

So the whole bathroom smells like shit. The whole bathroom smells like shit?

[B]

No, because I. Oh, I saw. When I. When I sit down, I have. I have poo pourri. You see, my bathrooms here, I have poo pourri on every bathroom, and I poo pourri the toilet first.

[A]

Then I. I have always brought. I have always had potpourri. I never use it. I never use. Especially when I'm. Especially when I'm home when it's just me and Jacob. Nigga, I'm not using no pooper. If I have company, I use poo pourri. If we have company over, I'll use. Otherwise, I will shit. I will turn on the fan and it'll be gone in like, three minutes. Me and Jacob don't mean. Jacob don't go in behind each other. Like, no. Like no one's going in there.

[B]

Also, I bidet because let's say, like, you know, I'm sitting on a. Sitting around. If I'm home sitting around, and we want to get a little. A little fuckety fuckety and make sure I'm like, you know, because also I do Metamucil every day, too.

[A]

The bidet makes sense to me. But you have what to.

[B]

What you say? Use Metamucil every morning.

[A]

Oh, the bidet makes sense. I don't understand why you're using flushable wipes and the Bidet is. The bidet is doing what the. So I don't understand why you're doing a flushable wipe, which is not flushable, and then using a bidet.

[B]

This just what I do. What do you mean it's not flushable?

[A]

They're bad. There are flush wipes. Type in, should I use flushable wipes? And you'll get a whole thing about how they're actually really. It's just like those beads. The soap with the beads in it. You remember the body. Watch that. Those little beads in it.

[B]

Huh?

[A]

Those beads were up the. The whole sewage system. These beads.

[B]

Okay, so compared to regular toilet paper, flushable wipes take a lot. Take longer to break down and dissolve in water. Putting your home plumbing systems at Aristoclogs.

[A]

What can say, Ms. Aristoclogs? But also. Not to mention. Okay, I. So the first time I ever used a bidet, I was like, I want to use it the way they use it in Europe

[B]

after, like, no wiping. You just go straight. No, no, this is. No, no, no, no, no.

[A]

This. Okay. I was like, I can't. I have to wipe first. Monet. They be in. I'm assuming from what the video I saw, they be in Europe just raw dogging it.

[B]

I know. Yeah. No, that's not for me.

[A]

And then just. I mean, they wash their hands, but you're just rubbing like, okay. So I'm like, I have to wipe until I don't see anything, and then I can use the bidet. But the only thing about using a bidet in me is, like, you. You're just wet.

[B]

I. That's. That's. So that's why. Because if I. If I was to use it first, I feel like it's too much water when I use it at one pass, because it Even at one pass now my taint is wet. I have a little water dripping off my balls. Like, it just gets. It gets too wet.

[A]

And I know your big ass. Your ass takes a lot long time to dry. That shit be incubating in them. Draws body like, wow, about to start in this drought. Like, I'm like, I don't. I just want to walk around squishing. I don't want to walk around squishing all day. Have you ever wondered what it feels like to have a wet. I'm always like, what is it? I wonder what it feels like.

[B]

Well, we talked about this a few episodes ago. I was saying that I would like. If I had a vagina, I would like mine to be a fat one. And I would assume the fatter the pussy, the wetter that it might be, so I guess I'm.

[A]

That's not true.

[B]

A fat puss. Here you go.

[A]

That is. That is not how that works.

[B]

Oh, my God. I'm at work. I love you.

[A]

What the hell y' all laughing at? What the hell was so funny?

[B]

He was just tequing about how he crushed Jacob's ass last night. Did Jacob need. I mean, I know you have to run to the ER after. Does he need anything from us? Well, I'll put it in insurance.

[A]

I'll put. There's footage of me crushing Andy. And I have. And we have footages, too. Footage, honey, footage. What up, hurdy? Say footages.

[B]

I mean, I don't know, but I'm assuming the bigger the. The. The. The vagina, maybe the little more wet it might be.

[A]

That's not true. That is not how that works. The size. The size of your vagina does not dictate how wet your vagina gets.

[B]

But if it's bigger, isn't there more space for water?

[A]

No. So the outside of the pussy is big. Like, you're like your clit and your lips, but that's not where the juice comes from. The. So the pussy doesn't. The whole thing doesn't just start sweating is. Think of it like your mouth. So if your mouth is watering, your lips aren't actually getting wet. The water is coming inside the mouth, and you know this. And as you know, Monet, it starts oozing out. You know how you be slobbing? No, but the lips themselves don't produce the juice. The juice comes from inside, and then it makes its way out because it's just overflowing.

[B]

Got it, Got it. Okay. Well, I don't know how we got on the topic of pussy water.

[A]

Oh, well, I was talking about wiping from back to front. You don't want to get poop in your pussy.

[B]

Right?

[A]

But then again. But then I was talking. Then I was like, I just wonder what it feels like having a wet. Your whole shit is wet when you, like, after the bidet. And then I was like, I wonder what it is. I wonder what it feels like to have a wet pussy. I wonder what that feels like.

[B]

Well, you know. So again, lived in St. Lucia for 1 to 10 years old, and in our bathrooms, like, we had a bidet, but no one ever told me what it was so for. Until, like, I was like.

[A]

You were drinking from it, bitch. Monet, stop. No, you weren't stopping. I was kidding. Stop, stop, stop, stop.

[B]

Stop.

[A]

Stop. Tell the real thing now.

[B]

No, I thought it was a water fountain.

[A]

Monet. You're lying.

[B]

I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. But I. I didn't know what it was. I never asked anyone. I don't know what. I can't remember what I thought it was. I was just like, why is this, like. Like, what is this, like, fountain in here? Like, I didn't know what it was.

[A]

Can you describe what an orgasm feels like? Try to describe it to people who. People who don't have penises. Can you describe to them what an orgasm feels like for you as a person with a penis?

[B]

Oh, my God. Describe what an orgasm feels like.

[A]

Yeah. First of all, do you make a face?

[B]

It depends if it's been a while. If it's been like a couple days, yes. But if it's like a day when I'm having sex pretty frequently, probably not. I'm probably like.

[A]

I feel like if we ask Andy and we'll be like, oh, there's a. He'd do it immediately. Oh, this face.

[B]

No, we actually make fun of each other because I make fun of him, his face and his noises. He's always like, well, it's not my fault that you're dead inside. So I actually don't.

[A]

Not. Andy's rolling in the deep. You'd be like, God damn. You can't get something up in this number.

[B]

I would say. I would say that it's like you feel. It's like you feel. I don't know.

[A]

It's like.

[B]

It feels like a very, very, very pleasant eruption of ecstasy. But I don't know how to put that into a feeling, into a word. I don't know.

[A]

I would try to describe it like this. I would say that you. Is definitely almost exclusively in your crotch. But it kind of like, all the energy and the tingles gather there. And I would say it doesn't come from, like, top of your head. I would say from, like, maybe your belly button. For, like, your belly button in your. And your upper thighs. And all the energy just is, like. It's just gathering your toes

[B]

because that

[A]

toes have to go like, I've curled my toes, but it's not. Because I feel it in my toes, but I. But I have, like, curl my toes. You know what I mean? But it. It goes from, like, maybe like your knees, your upper thighs, your belly button all the way toward your crotch. And then it's just tingling, but not tingling in a way that feels like tickling, tingling away. That feels like. Like X. It feels really good. It's like a. It's. It's a. It's a great tingle. It's a really, really great tingle. And we never talk to people who have vaginas about. About orgasms.

[B]

It is not all that it.

[A]

No, it is a completely different experience. They be like. They'd be like my whole body. They're like the top of my head, the tips of my fingers, my toes. The whole shit is going crazy.

[B]

But also. God, so many things I want to say.

[A]

I'm trying to think of.

[B]

Is there another feeling that you. That you would. Akin to the male orgasm? Like what feeling? Sneezing.

[A]

Sneezing. I've heard someone. Someone describe it. Sneezing, kind of like an orgasm. And I'm like, that actually makes a lot of it. Sneezing does kind of feel like an orgasm.

[B]

I don't think that's true for me. I've never sneezed and be like, oh, that felt great. Or the sensations are not the same for me between sneezing and coming. I don't think so. Maybe I should pay attention next time I sneeze, but I don't think so for me.

[A]

I've also described this feeling before. Really hot water on your lower back. Like water that's almost to the point where you can't stand it. Like just past the point of. No, not pass. When a comfort just below the point

[B]

of discomfort, I would say. So that's when you say that because that's. I was describing someone that's to me that feeling and also something very cold touching you. Like to me those are the same things that a tattoo feels like to me when like something like really cold touches you and you have that. That reaction. Like to me that's what a tattoo feels like.

[A]

Or the hot water thing or scratching your legs till they hurt. Have you itch and you scratch yourself in itches not. You have to be itching, scratching an itch until it hurts.

[B]

Oh. Oh, no.

[A]

That. That kind of feels like it too, a little bit.

[B]

What an orgasm or tattoo orgasm. I was you onto something. So when I used to have as a kid, I used to have eczema. And I like and like growing up in my teens too. And when I would have like a little eczema outbreak on like my. My thigh or my leg or my arm or something, when I would get the water warm and warm or hot and it would hit that to me that's the same feeling as an orgasm when I would have like a dark patch of Skin or eczema and water would be warm or hot and get on there. That I would say is how an orgasm felt.

[A]

That is true. I have eczema right now. And when I be scratching the eczema, I be like, this kind of hurts, but it also just feels really good. And also another thing that kinda, kinda, kinda feels like a. Like a tiny little orgasm is if you're. If you have to pee but you hold your penis. I got it.

[B]

I have to pee right now.

[A]

So you've. That's true, that's true. So you release your bladder but you're holding your penis shut like this.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And the pressure builds up when you. Baby, when you release the. In fact, Monet, go do it right now. We'll be back. Try it out.

[B]

I'm actually going to take a break for this time. I have to pee. Ok, we're back.

[A]

Did you try it? Did you do it?

[B]

Oh, and I didn't try it, but I was thinking of holding my pee to me. Kind of feels like that.

[A]

No, but also when you have the pee and you have released it, but you're just holding the pee in your dick.

[B]

Oh, that's what you were saying. I had to pee so bad. I wasn't even paying attention fully. I was like, I have to pee right now.

[A]

You were saying it. Pee.

[B]

We want to pee.

[A]

You know what's weird about having to pee? When you have to pee, whether you've been holding it for like five minutes or five hours, when you're at the bathroom, you're. You're about even. If even it's only been five minutes, you're about to literally explode.

[B]

There is some type of chemical reaction in your body the closer you get to your house. Like for me, like I like to your point, I could be holding it for an hour or five minutes. When I get to my door, I am about to combust. Like my. It's like my body knows the keys are almost there.

[A]

The keys.

[B]

You are gonna go pee. Why is that? There has to be some type of research as to why that's a thing. Also, another feeling that feels like an orgasm to me is cleaning your ears.

[A]

I can see that. I can see that.

[B]

Like sometimes I clean my ears and I'm like, I'm bitch. My eyes are rolling in the back of my head. Like it feels so good sometimes.

[A]

Getting your head scratched. So I have eczema on my scalp as well. I have it on my legs and I have it on my scalp. I baby, when someone is first, it is very Embarrassing to have your eczema scratched off your. Like, I have a scalp condition and my. When I tell you I be. I be making dandruff, yo. I'd be making dan giraffe honey. When it's falling off in these. Like when. When someone gets like a. Gets their nail underneath a chunk of. And that shit comes off, it feels so good.

[B]

Do you have Jacob doing it for you?

[A]

Jacob does not do that. Jacob would not do that. Jacob would be like, this is gross. But. But having someone get their nail or doing. I mean, doing yourself feels good, but when. When someone else does it, it does feel nicer. Or taking a comb, like a fine tooth comb and just scrubbing it across. Oh, that feels very, very good.

[B]

Yeah. I have a. Really bad. As a kid, and I think a lot of it was because my eczema started for me when I was a kid, when I left St. Lucia and started living in New York. And like, how dry and cold the air was, it really made me have bad eczema. They put me on this like, thing for like years. And I finally inoculated it. I don't know what it was. It was like I just had to go with this pink thing. I had to sleep with this pink thing on my legs for at night. And my grandmother had to put it on and then thing in the morning and then it went away.

[A]

Well, I need the fucking pink thing. How long did you have it?

[B]

I need this fucking thing for like seven, eight years. From like, from like 10 to like 18, 19.

[A]

Can you describe? Okay, have you ever had sex with someone? And the. And they came. But it. But it was like there was. They were like dead besides you, who were just like, I came. And you can see the evidence. They're like, yeah, I came.

[B]

Okay, I'm not that Eddie was being a little hyperbolic. I'm not like. But I'm not. But there some people. Nice. So wait, so when you come, are you. Are you one of those. Oh, is that you? That's not me.

[A]

I've changed over the years and I've recently become a lot louder.

[B]

Look at me.

[A]

Look. Look at me. I used to be a lot quieter, but now I be in these streets, like, oh my God. I say oh my God a lot. And I cover my face and I go, oh God. And I always do this and I go, ah.

[B]

Oh my God. Bob, it's not all that. It's not all that.

[A]

I don't know what Andy be doing. But honey, over here, over here. When, When. When the suckity Slurpee happens.

[B]

Yeah, I'm. I'm like a. Yeah.

[A]

And then a small amount of evidence.

[B]

Do you be or do you bitch? I, I. You ever seen that scene scene in Scary Move Andy be plastered on the ceiling looking down at me?

[A]

Yeah. How. How are your admission levels is my question. Have you ever. Have you ever go with someone who, who is like, like, like screaming?

[B]

And I like that.

[A]

You're like, this is wild.

[B]

I love that. I want to know that I'm doing a good job. I want to know that I am sending you to Andromeda. I want to know that the way that this feel and the way that this mouth is this thrusty is. I want to know this thrusty is your whole up.

[A]

Have. Have you seen that clip of cardi B Be like, you gonna try to leave me with this wet ass? With this wet ass mouth. This wet ass. Look at this sloppy ass mouth. I was like, jesus Christ. I okay, so I, I've. I've definitely dealt with it with a number of people who are quite noisy. I looked up yeah for, for. I had like a recurring cover this guy who was like, very, very loud. But this nothing compared to this guy met on this is how long ago it was. It was Craigslist. And, and on the way over, he was like, I'm. I'm a screamer. He didn't say. He said, I'm a screamer. When this man came, he was just, I mean, just scre. Like bloody. He was. I was probably like 25 and he was probably like 50. He was in his. Probably in his 60s. He was. He was an older guy. This, when I say this man was just sk reaming scre Like, I was like, this is. How do you do? How do you. You can't come in your own home. This is. This is wild.

[B]

Well, I hooked up one time with this guy who. He told me like, he said he's a scatter. But I was like, like, you scat? He's like, yeah. And then so I made him come. When I tell you this nigga just started shitting everywhere. Wait. No, he's just shitting.

[A]

I was like, I thought, I thought

[B]

you were gonna sing. No, he started to shit.

[A]

He's like, oh, oh, oh. Skinny beep bow. About. Honestly, that was great. Scouting.

[B]

That was pretty good. That was pretty good.

[A]

Wait, are, wait, are you serious about the thing?

[B]

No, no, no. I'm kidding. I'm kidding.

[A]

Oh, cuz we know that guy on your chest that one time.

[B]

I know. Girl, don't. And if you want to hear that story? I said, I told it on Bald and the Beautiful, and I forgot what they called it. Oh, hard.

[A]

Can you tell it as a, As a Patreon exclusive? Down the line? We, we'll, we'll post it as a Patreon exclusive.

[B]

Mon.

[A]

Mon. By herself telling her story.

[B]

Okay, I will.

[A]

You know, I. Because, you know, I, I, I had a, A Patreon exclusive with a hookup of mine that went wild. That went off the hinge.

[B]

And you interviewed him. Right.

[A]

So I, I, I told the story on the podcast about, about hooking up with a guy, and his ex showed up in the, in the, in the steel of the night. His ex showed up in the middle of the night and started fighting, fighting him. And I was like, what's. I, I didn't even know if I was dreaming or not. It felt like a nightmare. Like, you stand up and there's just a silhouette. He had a really, A bed that was really low to the ground. His bed was like, a few. Maybe a. Not even a foot off the ground.

[B]

One of them platform beds, like, on the floor.

[A]

Yes. And I'm looking up, and there's this silhouette of this guy, and he's, like, speaking another language. He has an accent. He, like a French accent. And he was, like, yelling at this guy. And then I was like, I must be dreaming. And I woke up in the morning, and he was like, no, no. My ex came over and, and, like, fought me last night. Like, physically fought me.

[B]

I can't believe that you went to bed. Like, you were like, oh, is this a dream?

[A]

I honestly thought I was dreaming because it was so scary. Like, imagine you're in bed, not even at your own house, so you're doubly uncomfortable, and there's just someone, I mean, standing above you. You're basically lying on the ground. I was like, at his. I was like, below his knees. That's how low I was looking up. And it's just a silhouette. Just. I was like, this is a nightmare. This can't be real.

[B]

You know, sleeping at people's houses as a hookup is so interesting. I've done it, obviously, a couple times, and, you know, one time I hooked up with this guy. This was back when I first started doing drugs. I wasn't. I had just been on, like, a night out, and I met some trade at the bar, and I went over to his house in Kew Gardens. And I mean, I, you know. You know, when you first saw drag, you're delusional. I'm like, Bitch, you know I am unclockable. Everyone thinks that I am a biological motherfucking woman, honey.

[A]

They.

[B]

The unclockable Kimmy Schmidt, you know, swearing, right? So I go to this guy, we hook up, and I ended up sleeping at his house. And I wake up the next morning, and when I tell you, I was like, I looked. First of all, this is two years in, so the drag wasn't even good. I look crazy now. This is like a whole night sleeping in Dragon. First of all, his pillows were just covered in my makeup. My mudslide pillows are just brown with my makeup all over it. And I was wearing a synthetic wig. When I tell you this, the wig

[A]

is just looking crazy. Chad woke up like, good morning. What you want?

[B]

And I'm trying to maintain all the illusions, right? So he's talking to me, and, like, I'm trying to, like, brush a little synthetic wig, like, on much of my face to cover, like, half of my face so he can't see the beard that's coming out. He's talking. I'm like, yeah, yeah. I feel like he's like, so, what you doing today, man?

[A]

I'm like, oh, nothing.

[B]

I have to go to work. I was gonna go home, but, like. Like, I'm trying to talk in this sweet, soft voice. I'm like, I really thought I was fooling this nigga. Like, I was some girl.

[A]

He was like. He was like, cut the shit, Kevin. He was like, kevin, we went to seventh grade together. I went to high school with you, Kevin. Cut this shit.

[B]

Yeah, I just. I have to go to work. I know, but I have to go home and freshen up a little bit. Can we. Can we improv this scene?

[A]

It's the morning after. Bob is. Bob is betrayed. Hey, man. Good morning.

[B]

Hey. Hey, good morning. What's up?

[A]

Hey, why you acting all shy this morning? You wasn't shy last night.

[B]

I'm not shy. I just. I haven't brushed my teeth for nothing

[A]

yet, you know, That's. I. I got. I got a spare toothbrush, and. And you can shower if you want. Oh.

[B]

Oh, no, no, that's okay. Like, I don't have any of, like, my products or nothing here, so I can't. I can't really shower here.

[A]

That's all right. That's all right. My sister. My sister stay sometimes. So I got, like, girl shampoo and face wipes, makeup wipes, stuff like that. Oh, no, I don't.

[B]

I don't. I don't wear any makeup or anything like that. I'm like, all natural, nothing. So I don't need anything like that. That.

[A]

Oh, that. What's this on my pillow if it's not makeup? I'm a little concerned.

[B]

Oh, we had. Well, we had that. That food last night, and my stomach, like, up a little bit.

[A]

Oh, that's crazy.

[B]

Just. Just. Just a little.

[A]

Damn. Your smell like. Like. Like Mac concealer.

[B]

NC.

[A]

NC 45. Yes.

[B]

It's a new formula for my.

[A]

This may shock you, but I work at the Mac counter. I'm your biggest fan. I saw your show last night. Girl, you was giving. It was giving everything. I'm obsessed. Can we do our makeup together? Please, please, please?

[B]

No, they could. Now I'm out.

[A]

What she was doing. What happened to voice? She was just doing a second ago, you know?

[B]

So one time I hooked up with this guy in Queens. Again, I don't want to say his name, because I saw this person's name on, like, in, like, their Twitter thing, and I was like, this is not a very popular name.

[A]

It is one. Oh, I must say, it's one name. Type it. Type it. Monet. This is. Come on, say the name. Come on. This guy's never gonna know.

[B]

His name was Alp.

[A]

Alp is never gonna know about Alp. Don't listen to the podcast.

[B]

I know, I know, but he had a thing, like, I think had some kind of fetish. It was in Queens, but they were wearing Queens.

[A]

Maybe what block? What was the home address?

[B]

I mean, also, I mean. Anyway, so. But he had this fetish where he wanted to hook up and he would not want me to shower. He's like, please. He's like, please, please. As long as you can hold it out. Please don't shower. I want you to.

[A]

Was this a drag thing?

[B]

No, this is. This was. Boy. I was a boy. He just did not want me to shower. Like, he wanted me to be as funky as I could. And then. So my question to you is, how far out of your limit will you go for someone else's kink or fetish? Like, would you, like, not shower for. This guy was hot. Like, I liked hooking up with him. Would you not shower for days because you really want to hook up with someone even though it makes you uncomfortable?

[A]

Um, I mean, so not show. I mean, not showering is not that big of a deal to me. Like, I mean, I think the longest I've ever gone without showering was during quarantine. At the beginning of quarantine, I was like, oh, my God, it's been, like, nine days.

[B]

This is this is crazy, but consider you. No, this is not quarantine. You have to go around your regular, you have to do your gigs. You have to like regular life. Like, you can't.

[A]

No, no. I mean, no, I mean, I, I, I, I have to shower for life. I'd be like, if you really want to smell, I mean, I can see you after a gig. I. Trust me when I tell you I work up, I work up some juice. Believe me, baby.

[B]

What was the one for him?

[A]

He wanted one show for me is, is a lot more than your friend who works, who works selling cars. I be in these streets doing show. I, I catch, catch me on, on, on Thursday when I do boosted salad. Then I go to, then I go up to industry. You know what I mean? I'll give you, I give you some to show day pussy. How about that? But I would do that. And I think it was one guy when I'm after the gym, when I used to go to David Barton, and he was like, he was like, come over right now. Don't. Do not shower. Do not shower. I was like, okay, sure, I'll come over. But then he did something that got me very out of my comfort zone. And I was like, I am, I literally was like, I'm leaving.

[B]

What?

[A]

Trigger warning, everyone. Trigger warning for like poop stuff. So he was eating my ass, and then he just started blowing air into my ass.

[B]

Was that a thing?

[A]

So what happens is when you blow air into someone's ass, it creates gas.

[B]

Oh.

[A]

So he was trying to get me to fart in his face. And so he was eating my ass and I was like, great, great, great. Then I was like. And I said, hey, don't, don't do that. I was like, do. I was like, do, do not do that. And then he was like, okay. And then he went back again. And then he did it again. And I was like, I said, hey, don't.

[B]

I get with this voice.

[A]

I said, don't do that. I said, hey, do not do that. And he was like, listen, if you don't want it, then you can leave. And I was like, okay, I'll leave, but you cannot non consensually give someone gas. And it hurts your stomach, so he creates a seal around your hole. And he's like. And he's blowing air into your asshole and then the air has to come back.

[B]

Oh, he, he's done this before plenty of times.

[A]

This was not his. I've, I've heard something before and I understand this might be, I think this might be True. Who are into fart play and scat play. They will often do it without telling you. They will non consensually. Not always, but because they probably get turned down a lot. If they want someone to fart on them or on them or on someone, they'll just do it.

[B]

That was my story, which I'm going to tell. That was my story.

[A]

They will do it without consent. They will just do it without consent, just straight up. But I mean, it's one thing if you're trying to fart during sex and be like, oh, it's just the sounds of sex. When you're trying to make me fart, we do it. That was. That was. It was very painful. I was going home on the train with G. I was like, my stomach hurts. Because it was the David Barton over in Chelsea.

[B]

And what's his name?

[A]

He went, I can't remember this man's name.

[B]

He won't ever hear it. Tell us.

[A]

I really don't remember his name. He's probably Mike. He was an older guy. I was my older bag in my twenties. In my twenties. I was in my fifties and sixties. Guy bag.

[B]

I think there's something about. It's your twenties where you. I mean, for both of us, I was the same thing too. I wanted older. I wanted older guys. I wanted guys like past 40. Like, to me, that was very hot.

[A]

I think for me, what it was

[B]

was older guys were just so attentive. Attentive to your knees.

[A]

They were so into me. They were just like. They would be like. They felt it. See, they were. They were so grateful to be there. And I was happy to be there too. And I was like, well, you're hot and I'm hot. So that's like, girl, the one time was when I know this guy, then the next day I stayed at his house out in Brooklyn or Queens. Always Queens. And then he was like, I got

[B]

to go grab my desperate. He's like, I gotta go get my son from school.

[A]

I was closer to his son's age than his.

[B]

To me, that would be fair. So I love that his son was like.

[A]

I thought his son was gonna be like 7. His son was like 19 years old. I was 23 and he was like 54.

[B]

Work.

[A]

I was like, not me also. I was like, your son's gonna hold on.

[B]

Can the three of us there.

[A]

I was like, 19, I'm 23.

[B]

There was. There was a guy from Queens.

[A]

He was always Queens.

[B]

He was some finance something. And he was probably in a 54ish 52ish age range. And I was probably about 23, just out of college. And like, I would. I mean, I was thirsty for this dick. Like, I would. I would want to go to hookup with all the time because he could eat ass like it was nobody's business. I mean, what I'm telling you, I would sit there. It says, no exaggeration, one time for about an hour and 45 minutes, I just sat there and laid down on my stomach. He just ate my ass for like an hour and 40 minutes. It was like, literally had to stop to go to the bathroom and come back. Like, it was crazy. I was like, this is insane. But his technique. Technique. Huh? Huh? Bitch. He was. Somebody point me to the best as eat. No, wrong. It was him.

[A]

There's.

[B]

There's a lyric, but I. I said it with the wrong cadence.

[A]

Do you eat ass?

[B]

I do.

[A]

Do I suck dick? You ain't seen. So the other day at the car, Jacob was quoting. Jacob was quoting RuPaul's line in Catitude where RuPaul says, Do I suck dick? You ain't saying. But Jacob accidentally. Jacob said, do I suck? You ain't say dick. Do I suck? You ain't seen dick. But yeah, that, that, that. If you're out there and you're. And you're an ass eater, you might. You'll be able to eat your way to Monet's heart.

[B]

Well, not currently. I am in a very loving monogamous.

[A]

We get it. Oh, my God. We can't. We can't. We, as the patrons and the listeners and the siblings and the cousins, even the strangers, we cannot hear about your monogamous. We get it. We. We know. We know. No one's trying to fuck you or Andy except you and Andy.

[B]

You the one who brought it up.

[A]

You literally brought it up. All I said was, you can eat one of his ass. One day's like, not me, honey. This ass belongs to one girl from Boston.

[B]

It does.

[A]

This ass is only for one. Both cheeks. One man, two cheeks.

[B]

And happily so. Honey.

[A]

Oh, my God.

[B]

Oh, my.

[A]

We.

[B]

You let us know about your polyamory every chance you get, bitch. So please.

[A]

Oh, Jesus Christ.

[B]

I am

[A]

exhausted.

[B]

I saw a picture of a dog penis the other day, and it is one of the most repulsive things I have ever seen in my life.

[A]

I think they get really fat at the end.

[B]

It's disgusting. It is so nasty.

[A]

The reason why they do that ever again, the reason why that happens is the dogs. So the dogs have their little, like things, right? But then they hump and they fuck and they fuck. But then when they come, it's like the. I'm trying to describe it. It's like if this is the whole penis, this is the tip of the penis right here. It gets like this big. And that way they're locked into the dog. They're. So they can empty out all their little doggy juice. I. I can't.

[B]

I don't want to hear any more of that.

[A]

I think that I used to see. I used to see my dog hump

[B]

the teddy bears and potato comes Colleen's cat bed.

[A]

He's horny. Leave him alone.

[B]

I don't care. That's it. I think dog penises and dog genitalia is so nasty to me. At least cats hide it. You don't ever have to see it. Dogs will show you the genitalia.

[A]

You know, people have cats for years and don't know what their sex is. That's the thing.

[B]

Well, I don't know how you can see that unless they're. Unless they're neutered because they have balls. How do you not see their balls?

[A]

It is quite common for people to get an animal and think it's one. And then they'll be like, oh, shit, he got pregnant. My dog got pregnant. My cat, my cat. My cat got my. My cat that I thought was a male cat got pregnant.

[B]

It's called a tomcat.

[A]

Did you know that male and female is only used as a noun when it refers to animals and plants? So using male, using female as a noun to describe a human is. Is as absolutely not correct. Female and male are adjectives except when describing animals and plants.

[B]

So you will.

[A]

I don't know. Okay.

[B]

I did not know plants could have gender.

[A]

Yeah, some plants have gender. Yeah. But you cannot say she's a female about a human being or a male about it. You. But you. What you can say is she is a female human or a female. But female is an adjective, not a noun. So you can't. So a woman can't be a female.

[B]

Gender implants. Although most plants have flowers with both male and female orgasm, there are several thousands of plant species that are male or female. Wow, I did not know that. I'm very gagged. Interesting.

[A]

You learn something new every day.

[B]

You do. You know, one of my goals for this year, you know, I want to. With this jump into back opera in the Minnesota Opera. I really. I've been more excited than ever now that I really want to start doing more classical and opera works. And listen, if Somebody's out there. I want to do a Zarastro in the Magic Flute as a drag queen. And the rest of the priests and disciples are all drag queens. Bitch. Imagine, listen, opera enthusiasts, opera listeners, opera singers, people who love opera. Imagine a. A drag magic. I mean, the queen of the night is already a fucking drag queen. But imagine the Zoroaster was a drag queen to just two dueling queens. Come on, Come on.

[A]

The thing is a lot of. A lot. Well, I don't know if a lot, but I. It seems disproportionate. How many drag artists are opera singers? There's Monet Exchange, there's Shaquita, there's Jasmine Rice, there's Chandelier, and probably some more that I can't even think of right now. I feel like this art form, something about this art form, it really attracts a lot of opera singers more so than other stuff that I disagree.

[B]

Bob, what about the amount of drag queens, you know, that are music, theater girls? Literally all of them in New York?

[A]

It's not a negation to that. But I'm saying there's a lot of opera singers in the world of drag. Like, I feel like most of us don't just. I feel like if I wasn't doing drag, I wouldn't know five opera singers. You know what I mean?

[B]

Maybe.

[A]

And I'm also, and I'm sure I'm missing. Oh, what was that one opera singer that used to have. They had like the word love tattooed on their body in like a lot of different language. They were like, like light skinned black. Like, like very light skinned black. Almost like, like the way, like the mid. Like light. Yes, they hung out with Jasmine Rice a lot. They were an opera singer.

[B]

Oh, Q. Q De la Rouge.

[A]

Q Delarouge. And then also the one you went to school with who's now a vocal teacher to the kids in Matilda on Broadway, who was a vocal teacher.

[B]

Oh, just a minute.

[A]

Just a minute. And I'm. And I'm. And I'm probably forgetting a bunch more that, that I just can't even remember

[B]

but just was an opera singer.

[A]

Oh, she's a.

[B]

She's an ed major. She's an ed major drag. She was an opera singer.

[A]

You see, you said Jessica could never be an opera singer. So Jess is a singer. Is she? Is she?

[B]

No.

[A]

So her name is not Just a minute just because of Just a piece of.

[B]

She coaches kids on Broadway.

[A]

Like she's fierce, but she, but she can't sing opera.

[B]

I don't know. Let's have on the podcast. Did y' all go to school daughters

[A]

Then y' all go to school together.

[B]

But was one semester then she dipped.

[A]

She's just an understudy.

[B]

That's one of Keja's wayward daughters. That's one of you. Let me tell you, Bob the Dragon and Keisha Carr have. Well, actually Keisha mothers all of her children.

[A]

I do not have wayward children. That is not true.

[B]

Mike, Raymundo, Santiago, Lily, Heavenly.

[A]

First of all, you. Let me tell you. Let me tell you something. Having a drag child is not for. It's not a ten year mentorship program.

[B]

You ain't there.

[A]

I mentored my drag kids for literally for years, including this raggedy bald head bitch on the podcast.

[B]

My including Honey Davenport. Don't you ever try to take my mother's accomplishments. Don't you ever.

[A]

I'm trying to. I mean I. I thought this bitch how to so I thought I got this bitch gigs gigs.

[B]

And I got you gigs. Westminster Choir College bitch that they paid you a fat check. I guess.

[A]

You ever forget that I got you weekly gigs. Weekly one you got me. First of all, I got Monet the gig at Look Queen that I literally hired you for. And then when I And then when I left Barracuda, I told them to hire Monet on Monday. She drove the show into the ground. They had to give it to. They had to give it to Brenda Darling. And then that is true. Monet. They literally like nigga, you need to leave. You are fucking up Monday.

[B]

True. And left Monday because my schedule forcibly you.

[A]

You were removed from the building. And I recommended Monet exchange for the bad drag queen. So I got. Yeah.

[B]

And then talk about how that show skyrocketed after the trash that was there last.

[A]

And. And I. And I recommended Monet also for the. For the help. I got you gigs with an S gig stuff.

[B]

And let's talk about how those two gigs were literally the retention rate triples. Honey skyrocketed when this one took over.

[A]

So you're welcome. So what gig did you get me Miss Mama because I got Gigsmeyer College Continue twice two years.

[B]

And how much debt paid you would probably cover your salary for the whole year. Let's talk about that.

[A]

Okay, first of all, I remember how much you pay was 500.

[B]

I. I remember that it was 2k.

[A]

How much was. Must have gave you 2k. Maybe. Maybe I don't know because they didn't Give me no 2K. Ms. Mamas.

[B]

It was 2K for you.

[A]

And I only did it once. It Was me, you and Tara. One time you. You bought somebody else. Other times, terror. I forgot. But anyway, so just so y' all know out there, if you have a drag, I'm looking straight to the camera. If you have a drag child. It's not a ten year mentorship program. Once these can go on their own, you go do your thing. Also. And I still help Ms. Cracker out with a lot of stuff. Ms. Cracker went over her. We talked about her. Her special together. Me and Miss Cracker still talking stuff. Race. Scandalo has quit Drag Race. Candelo is a nurse now. I. I mentor. Oh, baby. When I say I. I mentored the out of Lily Heavenly. I mentor Lily Heavenly. Down, down.

[B]

Lily is. Lily is still performing New York City. And she said she posted the thing on Facebook. He like, hey, if anyone has seen Bob, I'd love to get in touch with him.

[A]

Up. Lily has my number.

[B]

Well, I mean, I don't know. Maybe you. Maybe you gave it a wrong number. I'm not sure what happened.

[A]

You and I both know I've had the same number for yearses. Years. Henny.

[B]

Also, I don't appreciate you people are. You are starting drama. Bob on Twitter with what I thought about Jinx. Monsoon didn't invite anyone from All Stars 7 to her show.

[A]

She didn't. Okay. Was it.

[B]

Was.

[A]

It was anywhere from all seven there? Was anywhere from All Star seven there?

[B]

I don't know. I don't know. I know I was not there. I don't. I don't know.

[A]

Did you get invited?

[B]

Not that I'm aware of. But when's the last time you spoke to the Mail?

[A]

When the fact you physically heard her voice and she heard yours when we

[B]

left over press week. Press week.

[A]

Press week. How long ago was that? You're in a fight. You're in a fight. You're literally in a fight right now. You're battling.

[B]

You are so silly. Oh, my God. It's time. We are. We are over an hour. It's time to go.

[A]

You know, it's time for you to reconcile with your queen. That's what it's time to do. Reconcile with your queen. Honey, y', all.

[B]

I want you. We hope that you guys go forth in 2023. Make it your fucking bitch. Do some fierce sh. Shit up and. Yeah, bitch. We love. I love you guys. And I'm excited for another year of the rivalry. Watch re. Advisory.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Speak for yourself.

[A]

I love all of you except one person. And you know who you are. Amanda Lele.

[B]

Oh, my God. Lelee Heavenly government. Name? Lele. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. The boss.

[A]

Amanda Lee Heaven.

[B]

All right. Goodbye.