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Ryan Reynolds
Hey, it's Ryan Reynolds here for Mint Mobile. Now, I was looking for fun ways to tell you that Mint's offer of
Monet X Change
unlimited Premium Wireless for $15 a month is back.
Ryan Reynolds
So I thought it would be fun if we made $15 bills, but it turns out that's very illegal.
Monet X Change
So there goes my big idea for the commercial. Give it a try@mintmobile.com Switch upfront payment
Commercial/Advertisement Voice
of $45 for three months, $90 for six months, or $180 for a 12 month plan. Required $15 per month equivalent taxes and fees. Extra initial plan term only greater than 50 gigabytes. Me slow when network is busy. See terms.
Bob the Drag Queen
My name is Bob Drag Queen and
Monet X Change
I'm Monet X Change.
Bob the Drag Queen
And this is sibling rivalry. On this week's episode, Monet pulls off the heist of the century.
Monet X Change
We talk about customer service.
Bob the Drag Queen
And we found out what made Monet say this.
Monet X Change
I don't have these problems with people, Bob. I don't fight with people like this. And we find out what made Bob say this.
Bob the Drag Queen
You're such a fucking troll. I can't stand you.
Monet X Change
Is that a pillow behind your head?
Bob the Drag Queen
It's my chair. I got a new office chair.
Monet X Change
Oh, it looks really comfortable. It looks like a pillow.
Bob the Drag Queen
I mean, I guess it is technically a pillow. It's like the top part of the chair. It's just much more comfortable. And it doesn't really fit the motif of my office, but I really, really feel comfortable in it.
Monet X Change
Why don't you just get one in black?
Bob the Drag Queen
This one didn't come in black.
Monet X Change
What were the color options? Maybe I can give you some guidance.
Bob the Drag Queen
White and cream.
Monet X Change
Wow. And I chose cream. Fluorescent beige, literally.
Bob the Drag Queen
And I chose cream. So, you know, it is what it is.
Monet X Change
It is what it is. Oh, my God. What you do today? What did I do today? I went down to Andy and I do. Oh, my God. And I had such an annoying situation this morning, and I. We drove to Englewood, got to pick up some artwork that was done for me in Inglewood. And so I tried to call this guy over the weekend. No response. So I hit up my interior design. I was like, hey, I'm trying to figure out the artwork, something I could pick up. But the guy's not answering. So he's like, I'm gonna put you on an email chain with him. Emails the guy, his thing says, we're open Monday through Friday, 8:00am to 3:00pm Come by anytime. Go to Inglewood. Y' all. Don't know y'.
Bob the Drag Queen
All.
Monet X Change
It's on a Monday Morning. Going from the Valley to Inglewood is an hour trip, right? So get there.
Bob the Drag Queen
Why are you screaming at us? We didn't.
Monet X Change
We didn't schedule. This is like a hodgepodge of signs. There's like no clear sign where to go, where. I rang, I knocked on Wanda. No one's answering. Then there's like another space with like Komodo dragons and lizards and like, and like an animal shop that live.
Bob the Drag Queen
Like live or like pictures of live.
Monet X Change
Like, it's almost like a zoo, like a petting zoo or something like that with the same name of the printing place. I'm like, so I guess there's a thing. So I go there. We're knocking, there's loud music playing at 8 o' clock in the morning. Knock on the door, no one's answering. So then I go to the car place next door and I knock and I'm like, call the number in the car place. There's also the car for the place. I'm picking up the artwork just rings. No one answers. So I called the car. I was like, hey, I'm trying to get in touch with someone when this printing place next door, like, do you have any idea what I do? What you should do? He's like, well, there's a buzzer on the other end of the building. If you press that, they'll respond to you. But in the meantime, I had emailed the guy, like, hey, I'm at your spot. Drove here an hour from the Valley. Like, can you advise me where I should go? Someone does assist me, get the things on my way. Then I get an email. Driving back, I get an email that says this. Fuck. Of course, when you're trying to find an email, you can't find a goddamn email. Oh, I get an email that goes, hello. It clearly states, come to the roll up and ring the Coming in hot.
Bob the Drag Queen
Coming in high girl.
Monet X Change
And I said this, this just to give context. I said, I'm. Hello. Hello, person. I'm at your store and everything is open, but no one is coming to the front. I've driven an hour here. Please advise Monet.
Bob the Drag Queen
He says, hello is so office aggressive. That's. That's corporate aggressive talk. Please advise. Is like, as per. My last email is very. Like, like, that's very. You.
Ryan Reynolds
You can't.
Bob the Drag Queen
You didn't know. That's corporate. That's corporate like shots fired.
Monet X Change
That's not coming in hot, though. I said, please advise what to do.
Bob the Drag Queen
No, you're not coming in hot, but it is corporate. Shots fired, though.
Monet X Change
I can hear That I can see that. And he goes, it clearly says, come into the. Roll up and ring the bell if the gate is closed. Not sure why you would open the gate and walk through, then leave and leave the gate open. No, the gate he's referring to was a like, you know, the things. When stuff comes on freight on a pallet. Like the wooden thing.
Bob the Drag Queen
Yeah.
Monet X Change
That was in front of a thing, another wall, but it was already slid.
Bob the Drag Queen
Like a little wooden pallet.
Monet X Change
Yeah, but it was already slid open. We just literally slithered through and tried to get the place with the Komodo dragons and things. And no one responded. So I remember, are you buying a Komodo dragon? No, they just have, like a petting zoo at this printing place for this thing. It's bizarre.
Bob the Drag Queen
Like clothing printing or like printing paper.
Monet X Change
It was an artwork. Artwork printed on glass.
Bob the Drag Queen
Oh, you were going by the artwork. You said, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Monet X Change
So then I said, may I suggest. Claire, signage and adage that states your walk up option. The myriad, y'.
Commercial/Advertisement Voice
All are.
Bob the Drag Queen
Each person is escalating more. I think that. Please advise was like. Was like, not spicy, but like, maybe Tajin. It was tangy. And then clearly states is like Cholula. And I think, what did you. How did yours start? May I advise.
Monet X Change
What is it? I said, may I suggest.
Bob the Drag Queen
Okay, now we are in full on Tabasco.
Monet X Change
Frank's Franks, red hot.
Bob the Drag Queen
Yeah, Frank, we're getting toward habanero peppers pretty soon.
Monet X Change
May I suggest clear signage and adage that states your walk up option. The myriad of vague, dilapidated signs and doors are confusing at best. Also, I apologize about leaving your gate open. I wasn't aware that pallets are now considered dates.
Bob the Drag Queen
Did you put gate quotation marks?
Monet X Change
Yes. Have a good day. Monet.
Bob the Drag Queen
Were you. Are you planning on going back to this place?
Monet X Change
No, I'm not going back to this place.
Bob the Drag Queen
Like, my whole thing is like, if we've done our business, why do you need to email me? Being like, I don't know why you would think it'd be like, girl, what is happening?
Monet X Change
I was gagged. I was like, not on a Monday morning, girl. Jacob.
Bob the Drag Queen
I had one of these. I had one of these situations today, too.
Commercial/Advertisement Voice
Today?
Bob the Drag Queen
Yeah, technically, yeah. What was your situation?
Monet X Change
What was your situation today?
Bob the Drag Queen
So last night I went down to San Diego to do a show and it was Taylor, Tyler, can you text me that image of the text? Last night I went to go do a show in San Diego and I was filming it for some YouTube stuff. I was filming the YouTube stuff. You can just text to me, I
Monet X Change
have to copy paste because this is how long.
Bob the Drag Queen
Oh, my God. I had to film some stuff for a YouTube video that I'm doing. I was filming myself doing some stand up comedy and I am going to spread it out over multiple weeks. So I had to keep changing clothes. So I had my friend Solomon Giorgio host the show. I would go in the back, I would change clothes. So we rec. We were like, hey, I'm like, when you go to comedy clubs, these people are used to a comedian showing up in a T shirt 20, like 10 minutes before the show starts. I need to be in there two hours before the show starts to start getting ready. You know how this works?
Monet X Change
Yeah.
Bob the Drag Queen
They told. I was told that there was like, we're gonna be able to get in at 4 o'.
Monet X Change
Clock.
Bob the Drag Queen
We're driving down. The guy's like, I'm not coming at 4 o'. Clock.
Monet X Change
He's.
Bob the Drag Queen
I'm not getting there to 4, 45 or 5 o'.
Monet X Change
Clock.
Bob the Drag Queen
And he was like, but, but we can come in early. I said, okay, thank you so much. He was there. He let us in. And in their defense, the show did go over, but I was like, I need to get all my. I need to get all the footage. Like, I have one day to shoot all this stuff. Baby, the text I. That, that was sent.
Monet X Change
Let me just read it, Read it.
Bob the Drag Queen
Let me hear it from the videographer who, who ended up going over, but
Monet X Change
it's another person from the comedy club. This is a videographer you've hired?
Bob the Drag Queen
Yes, he works with the comedy club.
Monet X Change
Got it. Okay.
Bob the Drag Queen
Now in. In their defense, I would say we went 45 minutes over, but we didn't realize. But, but I didn't. So it was not communicated to me. I don't know who told them was a 90 minute show. I did not say it was a 90 minute show.
Monet X Change
All I said is stand up for. Stand up for a headliner to do a 90 minute.
Bob the Drag Queen
But I didn't know that. I did not know that it was. They were. They were totally gonna be 90 minutes. I was like, I need to get all my stuff. So I did not know that. Who told them was 90 minutes? Maybe they just assumed industry standard is 90 minutes. I don't fucking know. I don't fucking know. Right? But. But then also, like, the guy came up to Taylor at, at 45.
Monet X Change
This is the videographer still.
Bob the Drag Queen
This is the, the venue manager. He's like, got it. He's like panicking. He's like, you need. You gotta get. You guys, you gotta get off. It's 45 minutes over. And I was like, why did he say something? Why did he wait till 45 minutes till it was, like, in panic territory? That's. That's. That's not. That's not the point. This is the text message that was sent. Very disappointed how everything went down last night. Gaby, we're coming in full on what? Ghost Pepper. Okay.
Monet X Change
Yeah.
Bob the Drag Queen
How everything went last night, I arrived over an hour early, which I never do because typically I only need about 30 minutes to set up, But I wanted to get there early just to make sure everything was dialed in and ready to go. First of all, we did not ask you to come in early. You chose to come in early. I want to be very clear. I never asked the videographer to come in earlier than his normal thing. That. Baby, that was you. Baby, that was you. Everything ready to go. I met with Bob and Taylor to discuss the show and what. What I'd be doing. But at no point was I ever told the show would go 140 minutes. The club manager and the employees had no idea as well. All of them were not happy as well. I've shot there over 10 years since the club opened, and not once have I had an issue where a show would go 45 minutes over. In some cases, shows go over five or 10 minutes, but that's pretty rare. Or what happened last night was very disrespectful to me, the club, the manager, and the employees. At one point, the manager and I was signaling to Bob and Solomon to end the show as it's gone way over expected time. There's even a. There's even a red in light install that turns on when there's five minutes left, and that was completely disregarded. I want to be clear. I did not see that light. I did not ask for that light. I did not see them signaling for us to get off. State that. I never saw any of that. I was not ignoring them. I was not disregarding them. I never saw that again. We could probably. We probably could have worked around that if we would have known that was going to. Going to go on. But to be completely left in the dark, in my opinion, was very rude and unprofessional. The manager and the employees anticipate the show lasting 90 minutes. So drinks are only served for the first hour. Then after that, they close everyone's tab in preparation of ending the show. But the customers sat around for another hour and a half without drinks, as we all anticipated, the show lasting 90 minutes. I know that if I went a comedy club and I had to sit around for another hour and a half without a drink. I would not be happy with the situation and I would not feel inclined to tip generously, which I'm sure, which I'm sure of the employees felt when they collected their receipts at the end of the show. The, the, the amount you I quoted was for 90 minutes, not for 140 minutes after a breakdown. Didn't leave until 9:30. So between getting there early and leaving late, I was there for a total of four hours. I usually, I, I usually show up 30 minutes early. Again, I did not ask you to show up early. If you chose to do that to get, to get set up. And that's factored in into the pricing. But if I would have known the show was going to go 140 minutes, my fee would have been more than that. I, I what I called a y'. All. All of this could have been avoided with proper communication from Bob and Taylor. But nothing was relayed to to us at any point. That's not a good way to be.
Monet X Change
Taylor catches charade with any club or
Bob the Drag Queen
person or any video person. I hope you understand my frustration and the frustration of every employee he had in the club last night. All of us worked very hard last. That every customer as well as the comedians were taken care of and provided the best service possible. For something like this to happen is very hurtful. Now I want to be clear. People were not leaving the club angry. People were in a good mood. No one was mad. One of the waiters came back and was like, just so you know, your crowd tips very well. Which I am always told they're like, your crowd tips very well. Everyone knows girls gays and they tip well.
Monet X Change
Yeah. As a whole. Yeah. When you pull straight out of the group very well.
Bob the Drag Queen
Exactly. When you pull straight. But out of the group tips go up. In my experience. Okay. Which is why I had lucky change. Like I got tip so much money because always girls gays and they's coming lucky changs. But I was like, this is an insane text message to say also.
Monet X Change
That's a book that says message. You open it, you click it. That opens up in, in a new tab.
Bob the Drag Queen
Girl,
Monet X Change
that's crazy. That's why. Bitch. That looks like one of them. That's one of them old Eureka texts.
Bob the Drag Queen
Monet.
Monet X Change
Am I lying?
Bob the Drag Queen
Did I lie?
Monet X Change
Did I lie?
Bob the Drag Queen
But yeah, I was like, this feels insane. None of this was laid to me last. None of this was related to me last night. Not a single.
Monet X Change
Oh, I wish I Wish he would have came to you with that.
Bob the Drag Queen
That night.
Monet X Change
I and Taylor should have been there recording because I would love to see that interaction.
Bob the Drag Queen
I just remember thinking to myself, like, I didn't ask you to show up early. I. I was, I'm sorry that this was not communicated. I thought it was communicated. I was annoyed that y' all didn't show up. When we asked y' all to show up at 4 o' clock to let me in. He ended up making down to like by 4:20 or 4:20 and. And let us in. But I was like, this feels like a lot. Very disrespectful, disgusting behavior. Veryish behavior. He didn't say all that. He did not say that. He did not say that.
Monet X Change
You've been on, you've been on a niggerish kick recently. You, you have been loving.
Bob the Drag Queen
You know why? It's because I remembered that Sandra Bernhardt called Mariah Carey niggerish.
Monet X Change
And Bernhardt, the New York City Jewish lady.
Bob the Drag Queen
Yep. She said that Mariah Carey was acting very niggerish and that whenever I see Sandra Bernhardt, that is all I can think about.
Monet X Change
When was that?
Bob the Drag Queen
It was. It was a while back. But all I can, whenever I think of see her, no matter how funny she is, no matter what. I've only met her one time, but all I can think to myself is one time. You call Mariah Carey niggerish. That is all. That's all I can see when I think of her. I can't think of anything else.
Monet X Change
One time on stage, on stage.
Bob the Drag Queen
It wasn't in a tweet, it wasn't in private, it wasn't a microphone, it wasn't found.
Monet X Change
Audio chain gang, black guys, girl.
Bob the Drag Queen
It is all I can think about when I see her. I can't think of anything else involve.
Monet X Change
You just ruined Sandra Bernhardt for me. Thank you so much. What a courtesy you've given me today.
Bob the Drag Queen
Let's see what else I can ruin after this break.
Shannon Maldonado
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Monet X Change
close your eyes. Exhale.
Bob the Drag Queen
Feel your body relax. And let go of whatever you're carrying today.
Commercial/Advertisement Voice
Well, I'm letting go of the worry that I wouldn't get my new contacts in time for this class. I got them delivered free from 1-800-contacts. Oh, my gosh, they're so fast.
Monet X Change
And breathe.
Bob the Drag Queen
Oh, sorry.
Commercial/Advertisement Voice
I almost couldn't breathe when I saw the discount they gave me on my first order. Oh, sorry. Namaste.
Monet X Change
Visit 1-800-contacts.com today to save on your first order, 1-800-contacts.
Bob the Drag Queen
So while we're here, Monae, can you.
Ryan Reynolds
Wait, wait.
Bob the Drag Queen
Hold on, hold on.
Monet X Change
I want to say about some more. Some other niggerish behavior. So this is back when dejuan and I. Because y' all know one of my besties, dejuan and I went to college together. And then we were somewhere. I think we were in the caf or somewhere, and I just said to dejuan, like. Cause, you know, dejuan is way more. Especially back then, dejuan was way smaller than me, so we're doing something. And I said, I forgot what the comment was. But I was like, yeah. What? I called him a nigglet. Like, little nigga. Yeah. And then this white girl used to hang out with us. She found it so funny. She'd go find Fawn laughing and dejuan the way dejuan read this girl, because she was laughing at him. Me calling him a nigglet will always leave my head rent free.
Bob the Drag Queen
You don't want to say it.
Monet X Change
I know. But he was mad that she was laughing. Bitch, what the you laughing at? What's so funny? You laughing at the word nigglet.
Bob the Drag Queen
And I want to. And I want to predict what people are going to be saying. But you didn't have a problem with Sharon Needles, y'. All. Sharon Needles is not my friend. I am not friends with Sharon Needles. I do not talk to her. We are not buddies. We do not work together. Me and Sharon don't have any. And now you're gonna be like, eureka. The moment Eureka came to our podcast, I was like, you remember the time you said nigga, nigga, nigga, nigga, nigga, nigga, nigga, my motherfucking nigga. And when I see Eureka, it's all I can think about. It's all I can think about. I can't think of anything else.
Monet X Change
The other queen that I've alluded to, I won't say that name that I used to say. Used to say the N word. And Bob told me to record her doing it every time I see her, that's what I think about too, is
Bob the Drag Queen
all I can think about.
Monet X Change
Why is that?
Bob the Drag Queen
I think it's revealing.
Monet X Change
Yeah. I think if you would stand in front of me, what do you say behind my back? My brain, if you will, say the N word in front of me. What do you say when I'm not around, girl?
Bob the Drag Queen
Sandra Bornhardt will say it on stage with cameras filming her, knowing it's going to be recorded for posterity. Yeah, that's posterity.
Monet X Change
Posterity. That's correct.
Bob the Drag Queen
Posterity. Yeah.
Monet X Change
Yeah. My brain goes. If you will say this in front of me. I'm a black person. You say that like, what are you saying to other white people when no black people are around? That's what I think about. But yeah.
Bob the Drag Queen
What's up with this jacket? Where's it from? It looks like it's really expensive or something, but, like, makes it look like it's not.
Monet X Change
So this is the jacket. I wore this jacket for DragCon 2019 when I had the blonde dreads. That picture of me when Trixie had first launched you.
Bob the Drag Queen
Monet, stop fucking with me.
Monet X Change
What?
Bob the Drag Queen
Stop fucking with me.
Monet X Change
What?
Bob the Drag Queen
Monet, Stop fucking with me, bitch. What I'm about. I'm a.
Monet X Change
What are you talking about?
Bob the Drag Queen
Bring my motherfucking pillow back to. What pillow, Monet? How did you get my pillow? What pillow, Taylor? Did you give her this pillow? What pillow? Who has my pillow? What pillow, Monet? I'm not dumb, bitch.
Monet X Change
Oh, this?
Bob the Drag Queen
Come look at this, Taylor.
Monet X Change
This pillow.
Bob the Drag Queen
This bitch took my pillow. What you laughing at?
Ryan Reynolds
This.
Monet X Change
Oh, this pillow.
Bob the Drag Queen
It's on. It's on. It's on. It's on. After this little pit stop stunt. It's on, bitch.
Monet X Change
And she is on the right side of history. She's facing the right side of history today.
Bob the Drag Queen
Did you just take that just now?
Monet X Change
I don't know. Maybe. Wow, Nene.
Bob the Drag Queen
Wow. That's crazy. That's in.
Monet X Change
This has been the top of the episode. We are 19 minutes in now.
Bob the Drag Queen
Now a warning. You're a troll. You're such a fucking troll. I can't stand you. You're so irritating.
Monet X Change
Troll versus troll.
Bob the Drag Queen
Talk about your fucking jacket, bitch.
Monet X Change
Oh, yes. I want this jacket. 2019. It was the year that is that picture. There's a year I remember. This DragCon is the year Trixie had launched Trixie Cosmetics. And she was going down the pink carpet on her thing. Mind her own business on that. Remember when it was like a little merry go round, right? She had. And me just being rambunctious and crazy. It was like a car version of her lipstick. It was like a tube of lipstick and she was riding it like a car.
Bob the Drag Queen
Oh, yeah, yeah.
Monet X Change
And then as Trixie was doing her thing, I just, I. I burst through the thing. Cause I was late and I just jump on the back of her thing and there's a picture of me on the back of it. Like, woo. Trixie. Like so. Because she thought like a fan was attacking her. Anyway, I wanted some Drag Race Dragons. You're not a fan, huh?
Bob the Drag Queen
So you're not a fan?
Monet X Change
I'm not a fan.
Bob the Drag Queen
It wasn't Trixie with a fan.
Monet X Change
And I wore, with my blonde dress, I wore this and like some, some booty shorts and like a wife beater and some kid in la. Some kid in New York just. I paid. He distressed it. I love the jacket. It's not. It's like, it's like from vintage. He just bought it and distressed it.
Bob the Drag Queen
Were you in drag?
Monet X Change
Yeah, I was in drag. That's Calvin Klein. Oh, Calvin Klein jacket is not that crazy, girl.
Bob the Drag Queen
Oh, it's nothing.
Monet X Change
Also, it was vintage. It was thrifted.
Bob the Drag Queen
To those of you who've ever struggled to buy Calvin Clown Monet, that's literally nothing to her.
Monet X Change
I know you struggled to take off this, this damn makeup stain on your. On your, on, on your left shoulder. How about you handle that struggle about that? Yes, I'm.
Bob the Drag Queen
It's cold in here and I really love.
Monet X Change
And I really love this. No, the other day I came in and you were doing something and Taylor and I were on the other side. You keep it too warm in that, in that fucking space. Like you have other people working. You have to be considerate of other people. You can't have it.
Bob the Drag Queen
I can't be considerate. I. I left the air.
Monet X Change
That's right. Jacob. Jacob was like this. It's too. You have to be considerate. You have to be like, considerate.
Bob the Drag Queen
I'm freezing in my own fucking studio where I pay the fucking rent, bitch. I'm considering
Monet X Change
Bob wants his face at 80 degrees. There's like 19 people working there.
Bob the Drag Queen
I'm being considerate. We had a full house today and I did not turn the air off. I kept the air on and I decided to put a hoodie on a little, you know, and thing on myself. So how much more considered do you want me to be?
Monet X Change
I think this pillow looks so nice in here. Don't you think,
Bob the Drag Queen
Monet? You know I'm petty, so I'm just saying, you. Whatever happens next, you Bought it on yourself.
Monet X Change
Oh, speaking of Karen behavior, I gotta read. There's an update to me and Andy's fucking. Fucking Airbnb.
Bob the Drag Queen
What'd you had to say? Fortune 4 turns fortunes. Fortune, fortunes. Oh, my God. That. That was. That was insane. That was crazy.
Monet X Change
So we thought it was.
Bob the Drag Queen
First.
Monet X Change
First of all, that lady's comment. Oh, my God, her comment lives on on my page. The lady who, at Costa Rica that filed a complaint that me and Andy were doing cocaine in the Airbnb because it was fucking protein powder. She left a review on my fucking page that's gonna affect me.
Bob the Drag Queen
Protein powder is not white.
Monet X Change
It is. It is white.
Bob the Drag Queen
It's like cream. It's like cream usually, isn't it?
Monet X Change
Well, I don't fucking know what her fucking issue is, girl, but I've never
Bob the Drag Queen
seen, like, a white protein powder.
Monet X Change
This is what Debbie said about me. Unfortunately, these guests were problematic from the beginning. After refusing to pay for damages, Airbnb did. Thankfully, we could not recommend passing on them as guests. Enough malicious and false reviews were threatened. Bitch, you threatened the false reviews. Oh, fucking Debbie. And then Uber. And then like yesterday, literally yesterday, they sent me an email saying, hi, Kevin. I'm already annoyed calling me Kevin. This is Bella from Airbnb Safety Team. We're reaching out regarding a recent reservation associated with your account. While we're unable to share specific details at this stage, we're currently reviewing a potential safety related incident that may have occurred during this day. As part of this process, we'd like to give you the opportunity to share any relevant information. Do you recall anything unusual or out of the ordinary taking place during your reservation? If so, we'd appreciate your account of what happened. So I said, was this about. Is this. Are you referring to Costa Rica? Bella said, we can't share any details about what reservation.
Bob the Drag Queen
Monet, you done pissed somebody off, girl.
Monet X Change
It's fucking Debbie. And of course she's a white woman. Some white woman with blonde hair in Uvita, Costa Rica.
Bob the Drag Queen
Is that an assumption or you know what she looks like for sure?
Monet X Change
I know. She got to see her picture. Should I. Should I show it? No. I'm gonna get. Probably.
Bob the Drag Queen
No, do. No, Monet. That's too much.
Monet X Change
I know.
Bob the Drag Queen
That's too much.
Monet X Change
I know. I want to so bad, though.
Bob the Drag Queen
That would be. That would be insane.
Monet X Change
Okay. Insane.
Bob the Drag Queen
Yeah. Like.
Ryan Reynolds
Yes.
Bob the Drag Queen
It'd be too much. How about that? It'd be way too much. Didn't you have a thing where you were going through where, like, you were getting bad Uber reviews based on, like, someone Else using your Uber or something?
Monet X Change
That wasn't me.
Bob the Drag Queen
Like, no, someone was using your Uber and you were getting bad reviews because you. Because they were. It was a company.
Ryan Reynolds
Was it Patrick, maybe with somebody in your family?
Monet X Change
None of my family.
Bob the Drag Queen
Patrick get some bad reviews or something?
Monet X Change
My migraine.
Bob the Drag Queen
What's your Uber rating?
Monet X Change
My Uber rating? It's like 4.7 or something like that.
Bob the Drag Queen
I feel like you should get your rating before you. Before.
Ryan Reynolds
Do you get.
Bob the Drag Queen
Do they rate you after you tip?
Monet X Change
I don't know. My. My uber rating is 4.76.
Bob the Drag Queen
Hmm. I'd be embarrassed if I was you.
Monet X Change
What's yours?
Bob the Drag Queen
4.78.
Monet X Change
How do you verify? Oh, yeah, Jacob, you're muted. Is he talking?
Ryan Reynolds
We're gonna play a little game. We're gonna go to Uber.
Bob the Drag Queen
Uh huh.
Monet X Change
Uh huh.
Ryan Reynolds
You're gonna go to account accounts and then you. Yep. And then settings.
Bob the Drag Queen
Yeah, great. And then you're gonna scroll.
Ryan Reynolds
Yeah, Privacy. And then it says, see summary of how you use Uber.
Bob the Drag Queen
See summary of how you use Uber. I already know that I'm that. Okay, see summary is gonna be like bitch to eat.
Ryan Reynolds
No, no, not this. See, it should say explore your data now.
Bob the Drag Queen
Explore your data. I have data tracking.
Ryan Reynolds
You're going to scroll down to ratings.
Bob the Drag Queen
Wait, wait. All I see is offers data tracking ads. Ads on rise. Gender identity device, location, live location, account deletion.
Ryan Reynolds
Okay, I can pull it up for you.
Monet X Change
Okay. I'm in my ratings
Ryan Reynolds
and you can see how many stars of each type you've gotten.
Monet X Change
Oh, wow.
Bob the Drag Queen
Do they write. Do they write reviews?
Monet X Change
I don't see this about Jacob. Draw can't do. No technology. Jacob always got to do it.
Ryan Reynolds
And then you're gonna click because you
Monet X Change
know, because he don't listen.
Bob the Drag Queen
Okay. All right. When I read us your. We got. Okay, one by one. How many ones?
Monet X Change
How many five stars.
Bob the Drag Queen
Start at the bottom and go to the top. How many? How many? Or do you want to start at fives and go down to the ones?
Monet X Change
Yeah. How many five star ratings you have?
Bob the Drag Queen
I have 457. Five star reviews.
Monet X Change
I have 454.
Bob the Drag Queen
How many four star reviews?
Monet X Change
Fifteen.
Bob the Drag Queen
I have 17.
Monet X Change
How many? Three star three. I have seven.
Bob the Drag Queen
How many two stars.
Monet X Change
Four.
Bob the Drag Queen
I have three.
Monet X Change
And how many one stars?
Bob the Drag Queen
And finally, rounding up the end. I have 21 star reviews, Sam. Do you really?
Monet X Change
Yeah.
Bob the Drag Queen
What did I do to get a one star review?
Monet X Change
Yeah, I wish. I wish it would show you.
Bob the Drag Queen
I mean, one time. What was it, Jacob? Were you with me one time? I mean, I. I will if I don't like what you're doing, I will just get out of the Uber. I'll cat. I will just get out and leave. If they're driving recklessly or anything, if I don't like the music, if I don't like the vibes, if I don't like your attitude, I'll just get out. Say, just.
Ryan Reynolds
When we got into a car and the driver had his seat really far back, and Bob said, can you move your seat forward? And he said, no. And Bob said, well, it's been nice. And we got out of the car,
Bob the Drag Queen
first of all, he was blasting his music. Blasting his music. He was leaning Monet. This man was in the backseat.
Monet X Change
I know those. I hate that.
Bob the Drag Queen
To the point where even Jacob could not fit behind him. Like, am I lying, Jacob?
Ryan Reynolds
I mean, I could have fit, but it would have not have been comfortable.
Bob the Drag Queen
And then. So Jacob would have had to sit in the middle seat, and I would have had to sit behind the. The passenger seat. And I was like, can you lean forward, please, so that we can sit back here? And he was like, nah.
Monet X Change
And I was like, what city was this?
Bob the Drag Queen
It was right in Hollywood.
Monet X Change
Work. Yeah. Guys. For doing what, Blow.
Bob the Drag Queen
But I was on someone else's account.
Monet X Change
Was it my account?
Bob the Drag Queen
No, it was me. And what's his name? He was that guy who loves musical theater. He worked at Pieces.
Monet X Change
Girl, don't talk about. So wait, let's. You know, let's take a break and we'll. Tell me more about this guy. I ain't talking about the guy that loves Ethel Merman.
Bob the Drag Queen
No, not him. He was. He was. He was the hairless one, right?
Monet X Change
He loves. I forget his name.
Bob the Drag Queen
No, the hairy one who is now Ethel Fuhrman. Is his drag name.
Monet X Change
With a mustache.
Bob the Drag Queen
No, this was a different one. I think he might have been a composer. Anyway, I can't remember his name, but he was in an Uber. We were headed uptown, and he asked the driver, he goes, can you take the west side Highway? And the driver said, no, I'm gonna take 10. I'm on the avenue. Yeah. And he was like, I would really prefer you take the west side Highway. Please. Can you just. Please do. And I was like, no, I'm gonna take 10. And I was like, why can't you just take the route he wants to take? Like he's paying for the ride. Why can't you take the route that he wants to take? And the guy was like, this is my car. I don't have to take any route. I don't want to take And I was like, yeah, but this is. This is his ride. Like, I just don't understand why you won't give him the ride that he wants on this journey. And the guy was like, if you don't wanna be in my car, you don't have to be in this car. I said, let me out. I said, let me out, honey. Actually, no, I think he asked the guy to take 10 and he wanted to take the west side highway, whatever it was. But I. But actually, I vividly remember. Cause. Because he stopped the car and pulled over and kicked me out on the West High side Highway. No, just me, work. The other guy was like, I'm not getting out of the car.
Monet X Change
Word.
Commercial/Advertisement Voice
He was like.
Bob the Drag Queen
He was like, I want my ride home.
Monet X Change
In solidarity, I would have gotten out with you.
Bob the Drag Queen
And then one time in this taxi driver. This is obviously way back. This taxi driver, he was in the front seat doing something. I didn't want to hear his music or something, so I closed the part. I closed the thing.
Monet X Change
Yeah, that's fair.
Bob the Drag Queen
He opened it. I said, I want to. I want this clothes. I close it again. This man opened it again. I was like, this is insane. I just don't want to experience what you were doing up there. Were you talking on the phone or what? I just didn't want to hear it, girl. He's driving with his hand on the thing. So I can't close it again.
Monet X Change
No, that's. That's wild.
Bob the Drag Queen
One hand here, One hand here. So that I can't open it.
Monet X Change
No, I said, let me.
Bob the Drag Queen
I said. I was in full drag on the way. Lucky Chad said, let me out of the car. Let me out of this car. Let me out. He was like, no, we're finished the trip. I said, we're not finishing the trip. He goes, no, we're going to finish the trip. I said, let me out.
Monet X Change
You're in a hostel situation.
Bob the Drag Queen
So I open. So I opened the door while the car was driving, and I was like, you got to stop this car. I opened the door. The door was. The door was open while he was driving down the street, fully open. And then he stopped. I got out.
Monet X Change
You're a messy. I don't have these problems with people, Bob. I don't fight with people like this.
Bob the Drag Queen
Monet, you literally just described two instances where you were fighting with an Airbnb person and you were fighting with the fucking. The guy who owns the print shop. Don't.
Monet X Change
What?
Bob the Drag Queen
That seems like it's not good for you.
Monet X Change
No, but you know that feeling when you Clean your ear or scratching it. It sounds.
Bob the Drag Queen
I bought the ear scraper. We posted the video on Patreon, which y' all asked me to do, and then shaded me when it was disgusting. I told you I was disgusting.
Monet X Change
I shaded you and I. I said, don't do it. So I. I wasn't one of those people like, oh, we want to see. I said, that's nasty.
Bob the Drag Queen
Do you want to. Do you wanna. I have a brand new. And do you wanna use it and get into what's in your hair?
Monet X Change
No, I'm not interested. I. I just got it. It wasn't. It wasn't a thing. I just wanted to scratch it.
Bob the Drag Queen
But you're gonna stick a number two pencil in your ear.
Monet X Change
It's not a number two pencil. It's a mechanical pencil.
Bob the Drag Queen
I'm grossing a device that's meant to
Monet X Change
go in your ear.
Bob the Drag Queen
You over here got. Got lead poisoning.
Monet X Change
Why did they make number two? Why. Why were number two's pencils so. So special? Why did only those were. Why were those only able to read on the Scantron?
Bob the Drag Queen
Because of the graphite. I think the other pencils. Maybe the pencils weren't using graphite.
Monet X Change
Or maybe graphite in all pencils.
Bob the Drag Queen
Maybe it's because of the shape of it. Honestly, I don't know. I do not know why number two pencils became the one.
Monet X Change
Have you ever. No, they were the two. Have you ever seen that guy who did little sculptures on the tips of pencils? Have you ever seen this?
Bob the Drag Queen
It's insane.
Monet X Change
That's how. That is crazy.
Bob the Drag Queen
Would you pay for one?
Monet X Change
No, because no one's ever gonna fuck.
Bob the Drag Queen
If I had a.
Monet X Change
If I had the capabilities to put on display magnified at my home. Yes.
Bob the Drag Queen
You can't find a magnifying glass.
Monet X Change
No, but like, so I can project it so people can see. What. So that I have to have an acrylic box and have a magnifying glass on top of it. So every time I want to see y' all use a magnifying glass.
Bob the Drag Queen
Or maybe you put it in a picture frame and you put a magnifying glass over it.
Monet X Change
No, that sounds. That's too much work. That's too much work.
Bob the Drag Queen
Or you get magnifying. You can also get magnifying glass. It doesn't have to be attached to a handle. You just get magnifying glass.
Monet X Change
So the entire box is just magnifying.
Bob the Drag Queen
Or just one small piece over the. Over the. I feel like I have not seen or not. I have not held a magnifying glass. I feel like, when I was younger, I was, like, at least once a month using a magnifying glass for. They go to Auntie Walk. They go to Auntie Walk. When I was younger, like, at least once a week, I was using a magnifying glass for something. At the minimum, once a month. I was, like, using a magnifying glass, like, all the time. Are you looking for your magnifying glass?
Monet X Change
Yes.
Bob the Drag Queen
I mean, I think I have one somewhere. I used to use it sometime with sewing every once in a while, but I just feel like I don't have that. I mean, I get it whenever you have a magnifying glass. You don't.
Monet X Change
No, it was a special one. When we did Death Drop, they gave us these really cool magnifying glasses as, like, a cast. The theater, the Garrick Theater gave us these magnifying glasses that were really cool.
Bob the Drag Queen
Did it feel luxurious?
Monet X Change
Oh, it's very weighted. It's very luxurious. Very nice. Bob, talk to me about my freckles. I'm very mad that they've faded so fast so quickly.
Bob the Drag Queen
Well, I don't understand how their tattoos. And they're already gone.
Monet X Change
They're cosmetic tattoos. Cosmetic tattoos do not go as deep as this. Cosmetic tattoos, like, when you get your eyebrows microbladed, they stay. They don't go. Like. They're super superficial.
Bob the Drag Queen
So it does hurt, though. It is with a needle.
Monet X Change
It is with a needle, but it doesn't hurt like that. Like, it. It. It. It's not as intense as a tattoo.
Bob the Drag Queen
Okay. Rank eyebrows, freckles, and tattoos rank, like, 1. 1 to 10. 10 is like, this is unbearable. One is like, I can't even feel this. Where are tattoos at?
Monet X Change
Regular tattoos. That's on, like, a. They're a seven or eight for me. People that say tattoos don't hurt. Y' all are fucking lying. Every. Tattoos hurt all that. They always hurt. You just know what the pain is. But people that be like, yeah, I didn't feel that at all. It didn't hurt. I'm like, you're a liar.
Bob the Drag Queen
And what's microblading?
Monet X Change
Microblading is, like, I would say like a three.
Bob the Drag Queen
Oh, really?
Monet X Change
Yeah. You barely. You were. You don't feel. You don't really feel.
Bob the Drag Queen
And what are the freckles?
Monet X Change
Kind of like a two, three.
Bob the Drag Queen
Oh, okay.
Monet X Change
And she did a really good job. I just. Now they're at the level where they don't look like y'.
Bob the Drag Queen
All.
Monet X Change
This. This is a picture. Jay has it right now of me. Like, when I first got in, I thought they were gonna say, and not. I did not think that I knew. She told me they would fade, and she did a picture. You what?
Bob the Drag Queen
I wanna see it too. Can I see the picture?
Monet X Change
I'm sending it to the group, and I wanna. I wanna reiterate. She told me that this would happen, but I just thought that it would. So I, I, I can go in for a round two. I just sent a group, but I thought I was gonna say, like, that intense.
Bob the Drag Queen
Why don't you, why don't you get henna?
Monet X Change
I think.
Bob the Drag Queen
I think this is too intense. In my opinion. This looks like when drag queens draw them on with, With. With. With lip liner.
Monet X Change
You, you think. You think this is too intense?
Bob the Drag Queen
I do.
Monet X Change
I do. What, what, what do you think about this intensity? Do you hate this intensity?
Bob the Drag Queen
No, I think it. I think it looks more natural. This looks like. This looks like you drew it on with eyeliner or lip liner.
Monet X Change
I like that, though.
Bob the Drag Queen
I mean, I think Hannah would last longer.
Monet X Change
Yeah.
Bob the Drag Queen
Maybe go back and get it done with Hannah.
Monet X Change
I can go for around 2. She can make the more 10. Because this. Because this my beauty mark that she added for me too. I mean, I have some. I, I put something on this today. It's way lighter than this, but I have.
Bob the Drag Queen
I don't have any freckles. Oh, that's not true. I have one freckle on my nose. Have you ever even noticed it?
Monet X Change
I can see it right now.
Bob the Drag Queen
Can you really see it?
Monet X Change
Yeah, it's the one right here. Yeah, my little nose freckle.
Bob the Drag Queen
Oh, it's two.
Monet X Change
Yeah, you get freckles as you get, like, Morgan Freeman. You ever see young Freeman? Morgan. He had freckles, but they've definitely multiplied.
Bob the Drag Queen
There's one between my eyes too. Bitch, do I even know what the fuck I look like?
Monet X Change
You know who has very beautiful freckles? RuPaul. I love RuPaul's freckles.
Bob the Drag Queen
Beyonce has freckles?
Monet X Change
Yeah, Beyonce has freckles.
Bob the Drag Queen
Can I. Did I say this? I didn't.
Monet X Change
I don't know where I was as a kid. I've only recently realized that Beyonce had green eyes. Did you notice all along?
Bob the Drag Queen
I don't. I gotta be honest. I don't often notice a color of people's eyes unless they have dark hair and very blue eyes. Like, they have, like, dark hair and very blue eyes. Like, Mitch. Like, Mitch has, like, a black beard and, like, because he looks like a Alaskan husky.
Monet X Change
Yeah, I mean, I don't. I mean, I. I think I notice because eyes are so strike. I mean, when I Talk like I. I notice because. Yeah, I noticed them.
Bob the Drag Queen
I did not realize Taylor had blue eyes until the other day. I had. I had. I. If you'd ask Michaela, I would be, like, probably brown.
Monet X Change
Kayla has dark hair.
Bob the Drag Queen
It's not. I don't know, just. It's not reading. He has. He has a red beard. Maybe it's the red beard throwing me off or whatever the hell color his calico beard is.
Monet X Change
Well, what. What about. What about Ty?
Bob the Drag Queen
Dark brown.
Monet X Change
Ty?
Bob the Drag Queen
No. Is that wrong?
Monet X Change
Ty Harris. Ty has, like, really light, super brown, almost green eyes.
Bob the Drag Queen
Oh.
Monet X Change
Like, almost. Like, they're almost like an amber color. Like a. Like. Like a yellow.
Ryan Reynolds
What? Patrick.
Monet X Change
Patty.
Bob the Drag Queen
I mean, he's a redhead, so maybe blue.
Monet X Change
Okay. To be fair, Patty has, like, dark blue eyes. Honestly, I've never seen someone with eye clothes like Patty. Patty has. Patty has, like, dark blue eyes.
Bob the Drag Queen
I guess I'm assuming he has red hair. I assume his eyes were blue because he has red hair. And a lot of redheads have blue eyes.
Ryan Reynolds
What about my mom?
Monet X Change
Rose has brown eyes.
Bob the Drag Queen
Brown. Yeah, I was gonna say brown.
Ryan Reynolds
No, she's. Blue eyes.
Monet X Change
Really?
Bob the Drag Queen
Blue eyes.
Ryan Reynolds
Yeah, I have. What color are my eyes?
Monet X Change
Your eyes are blue, obviously, but your eyes are. That doesn't mean anything.
Ryan Reynolds
No, it's a. It's a recessive gene. So my. My dad's a carrier and my mom has the double carrier.
Bob the Drag Queen
I just met her. What. What color?
Ryan Reynolds
That's why my. My debut also has blue eyes.
Bob the Drag Queen
What color were Luis's eyes?
Monet X Change
Who's Luis?
Bob the Drag Queen
My old assistant.
Monet X Change
Luis had blue eyes. Louise had, like, light colored eyes. For sure. They're like, green.
Bob the Drag Queen
I remember those eyes were light because Jacob and Louise, when we're out in the sun, I know they're not putting on, but it seems like it to me. I'm like, there's no way the sun's doing all this to you. Like, there's no way the sun's doing all this to you. I mean, I believe you, but it just seemed like. I do not have to wear shades. Oh, my God. He has very blue eyes. Jesus Christ.
Monet X Change
Well, you're such a.
Bob the Drag Queen
Like, we would go. Like, I'll be like. I'll be like. Like, we'll be in a place that really does not feel that, like, Jacob can't go to Runyon without shades.
Monet X Change
Wow. Yeah. I'll never know that. Have you seen this thing that people do? The. The. The eye color changing thing?
Bob the Drag Queen
Yeah. I have a friend who. Who went blind.
Monet X Change
I'm obs Bob. When I tell you I am.
Bob the Drag Queen
I Know a guy who got. Who went blind from doing it.
Monet X Change
Well, it's crazy, but sometimes it looks so wild. I'm like, you think this look. It'd be. It'd be wanting to be the black people who go from having dark brown eyes to having, like, Alaskan husky blue eyes. You're like, yo, you look like a vampire from a TV show.
Bob the Drag Queen
I. Would you do it?
Monet X Change
Hell no, I wouldn't do that shit.
Bob the Drag Queen
Yeah, I know. Hey, girl, again, I know a guy who went blind.
Monet X Change
Do not do that shit I'm sending you to. You just. Y' all just please watch this one in the thing. You have to watch this one. This nigga looks crazy. Just even. You don't have to look at the video. Just look at the screen. Look at the screenshot. You should nail my mute. Yes, it's in the media thing. Look at that. This dude looks wild.
Bob the Drag Queen
Oh, my God.
Monet X Change
Like a vampire.
Bob the Drag Queen
But also, there's a lot going on here. He also looks very. There's a point where over manicuring goes insane. It looks like he has. It looks like he has veneers.
Monet X Change
Yeah, for sure.
Bob the Drag Queen
Because all of his teeth are the same size. All.
Monet X Change
All.
Bob the Drag Queen
All Chiclets. They are white. They are, like, as white as, like, the driven snow. His beard looks like it's got, like, makeup in it or something. Or maybe just for men. And then the blue eyes. He looks like a drawing of a person.
Monet X Change
Look at this one I just sent you.
Bob the Drag Queen
I mean, maybe we should, like, obscure his face somehow. Maybe this is. I don't. Is that shady to post that, man?
Ryan Reynolds
I don't know.
Monet X Change
He's on Instagram.
Bob the Drag Queen
Yeah, he posted it. You're right.
Monet X Change
He posted it.
Bob the Drag Queen
Why would you want your eyes to look like that?
Monet X Change
I don't know. It's strange to me. But, you know, I mean, listen, I've got a body modification done. I'm not here to yuck anyone's yum. You know, they probably think I look strange for whatever. For having fucking cosmetic freckles. I don't know.
Bob the Drag Queen
But yeah, yeah, you know, that's fair. Good point. I don't really. Yeah, I don't do what you want your body. But it looks a little crazy.
Monet X Change
It looks a little crazy. Remember when Tiny did it?
Bob the Drag Queen
Who the fuck is tiny?
Monet X Change
Tiny from TI's wife.
Bob the Drag Queen
I don't know her.
Monet X Change
Tiny with blonde hair from Escape with Candy Burris. Tiny the singer.
Bob the Drag Queen
I don't remember her.
Monet X Change
Wow.
Bob the Drag Queen
All I remember is Candy, Candy.
Monet X Change
Candy Burris did it too.
Bob the Drag Queen
Oh, did she?
Monet X Change
No, she didn't.
Bob the Drag Queen
She Didn't I mean, would I get. I'm thinking about going to Thailand.
Ryan Reynolds
This.
Bob the Drag Queen
Not Thailand, Turkey. Turkey this summer or sometime this year to get my hair done, but. And I get Botox, which is wearing off.
Monet X Change
Wait, you're going to Turkey to do the Botox?
Bob the Drag Queen
No, I said I'm thinking about things that I get done. Oh, and I've had my teeth done, but, like, only, like, one tooth here when it chipped or another tooth when they fell out. I haven't, like. I haven't, like, got veneers or anything, but I would, like. I will replace my teeth when they start falling or breaking.
Monet X Change
But falling. I don't think I'd ever get, like, the sentence I will replace my teeth when they start falling or breaking is crazy.
Bob the Drag Queen
But I. At this current stage in my life, I wouldn't get my. My lips done or my nose done or my eyes done or I wouldn't do anything to my skin or I wouldn't. I wouldn't get, like, liposuction or a BBL or. Or any of that, though. I wouldn't do that. I don't think I have what it takes, to be honest. I don't think I have the fortitude to pull that out.
Monet X Change
I've got a lipo. He's lying.
Bob the Drag Queen
When does it get.
Monet X Change
Be real with the people.
Bob the Drag Queen
When does it kick in?
Monet X Change
We rule the people. You're trying to save face.
Bob the Drag Queen
When does my lipo kick in? Because I'm belly down over there, girl.
Monet X Change
You have to get those massages, girl. That's how. That's when it works. It works. It works if you work it.
Bob the Drag Queen
If I had lipo, I'd be pretty honest about it. But I, I, you know, I just. I don't know. I just. I don't think I have what I say. I've seen people go through lipo and it looks painful. It looks, like, really uncomfortable and really painful.
Monet X Change
It is uncomfortable. Like, for a month, you're uncomfortable. Like, it's uncomfortable to just be strong.
Bob the Drag Queen
And it's not because it's not because I'm against my surgery. Everyone knows I'm not against my surgery, but I just. I don't have the fortitude to get lipo. I don't have what it takes. I really don't.
Monet X Change
Yeah, it's annoying. Like, you just. Your skin feels itchy and, like, weird underneath, like, tight. And, like, even when you're just laying down, you just. You can't get comfortable.
Bob the Drag Queen
And does it go away? Does it always feel like that?
Monet X Change
No, no, it goes away. It goes away after, like, a month because you just had a hot laser under your skin going back like this, sucking fat out. Like you've just.
Bob the Drag Queen
It's a laser. I thought it was a tube.
Monet X Change
It's a tube. It's a. It's. Sorry. It's like a really hot tube that they put under there to, like, get under the thing and they, like, they're, like, doing there. They're going up and under your skin back and forth and sucking all that fat out like you're just. I don't want it. I. I don't have.
Bob the Drag Queen
I just don't have what it takes. I know I don't have what it takes.
Monet X Change
I know I don't.
Bob the Drag Queen
I know I don't. I just know I don't. I know I don't have it. And also, I feel like sometimes when people get liposuction, there's. There's sometimes their skin. The texture of the skin changes.
Monet X Change
I didn't get that.
Bob the Drag Queen
But I have really soft skin, and I really want to keep. Continue having soft skin.
Monet X Change
I think it's when you go. When you go like, people who get, like, multiple and multiple rounds because you disturb the skin's attachment and elasticity so much, I think that's when it starts to look funky. But I've had one round, and I don't have that. My skin looks fine, but I have seen what you're talking about. I think that's when you do it too often.
Bob the Drag Queen
But I just have really soft skin. I don't grow any hair. My skin is really soft. I mean, I have a couple of stretch marks on my. Like, my little. What do you call them? My little love handles. I have a little stretch marks there, but they don't. There's no texture to them. I have stretch marks on my love handles. I have them on my knees. I have really very pronounced stretch marks on my shoulders and a little bit on my butt.
Monet X Change
I have two on my. I have. On either side of my stomach. These are right here. Oh, my God. When I did Survivor, I got all these cuts on my stomach.
Bob the Drag Queen
So you get. You gotta. You gotta get closer to Mike.
Monet X Change
When did Survivor? I got all these cuts on my stomach from the challenge. Like, my. There's this thing where you have to be on a piece of wood, and I thought I was gonna shimmy across it this way, baby. I did one pull the way that shit. I was like, ah, it was awful.
Bob the Drag Queen
These are my show. There are times when people ask me, like, what happened to you? When they see my shoulder Stretch marks.
Monet X Change
That's crazy. It's not that bad.
Bob the Drag Queen
People are like, were you scratched by a. Like an animal?
Monet X Change
But it looks like gains. It looked like you're just. You, like, you're just so swollen from lifting that. That happened. Mine looked like I was pregnant, carrying triplets. These are not gains.
Bob the Drag Queen
I've had these since I was in middle school. I don't know where they came from. I know where they came from. From growing too tall. I got really tall really fast, though. Like, I just kind of maxed out in seventh grade.
Monet X Change
And shadrocks are. Are hereditary. They are. You get. Either you're prone to. To do it, to have it, or you're not.
Bob the Drag Queen
I do keloid really easily, though.
Monet X Change
That's also a thing that happened. Like, you have that anymore. Do you know what blood type you are?
Bob the Drag Queen
No.
Monet X Change
Why? And I never understood why people think that's important to have. Like, well, if you. If you. If you. If you need a blood transfusion. You think if I need. I need a blood whatever, the doctor's gonna take my word for it, but you're gonna test me to find out. They're gonna take my word. I'm like, yeah, I'm O negative. Okay, great. Like, no.
Bob the Drag Queen
Yeah. And also. Yeah, that. That's. Yeah, that seems silly.
Monet X Change
Yeah, I don't need a herbal type.
Bob the Drag Queen
Maybe if you need an emergency blood transfusion, but they still should not take your word for it.
Monet X Change
Yeah, they should not take my word for whatever I say.
Bob the Drag Queen
Also, if it's an emergency, I feel like I'm probably in a state where I can't really give a cohesive answer.
Monet X Change
Right.
Bob the Drag Queen
A coherent answer. I mean.
Monet X Change
Oh, it should be on your.
Bob the Drag Queen
It should be on your driver's license, though.
Monet X Change
It's not on my driver's license.
Bob the Drag Queen
No, it should be on people. Like, it's something that should be on everyone's driver's license.
Monet X Change
Yeah. But I think.
Bob the Drag Queen
I think they can't because people don't have. You have. Organ donor. You want. You want to take my fucking organs? That was so important, it had to be on my driver's license. So important to be able to mop my organs in case I die in a car accident.
Ryan Reynolds
Your mom's one of the really rare ones, wasn't it?
Bob the Drag Queen
Yeah. My mother had a very rare, rare blood type where she could give to anyone, but she cannot take from almost anyone.
Monet X Change
What was it?
Ryan Reynolds
I think that's O negative. I think.
Bob the Drag Queen
I don't remember.
Monet X Change
I don't know what mine is either. I should know.
Bob the Drag Queen
There must be a Way for a paramedic to do a rapid test.
Monet X Change
I'm sure, I'm sure. You might go buy one at the drugstore to find out what blood type you are.
Bob the Drag Queen
Do you think your blood type is rare?
Monet X Change
I think there is. I think it is because I don't get bitten by mosquitoes. Like we'll be somewhere where. I'll be somewhere where people, when they're getting. I mean people are getting eaten, bitten, chewed, spit out, spit, roasted by mosquitoes. I wanna tell you, not a single one would touch me. And I found out that's because of. That's because of my blood type. I have a certain blood type that they're just not attracted to that blood, so they don't bite me.
Bob the Drag Queen
Must be nice. I grew up in Georgia getting devoured by mosquitoes.
Monet X Change
Never devoured. I mean, again, I've had a mosquito bite before. I'm not saying I've never been bitten, but I don't ever really have a problem like that.
Bob the Drag Queen
Is it was the one mosquito. Like, I like it more for me.
Monet X Change
I think it tastes good. That'd be a fun sketch, actually.
Bob the Drag Queen
I don't know what's wrong with y'.
Shannon Maldonado
All.
Bob the Drag Queen
I think it's nice. It's like someone eating. What's the candy. I can't stand Turkish Delights. Eating a tiger is insane.
Monet X Change
I'm mad at you.
Bob the Drag Queen
What?
Monet X Change
You know what. Well, maybe you don't know what.
Bob the Drag Queen
You keep saying that and I don't know what the you're talking about.
Monet X Change
You're doing. You're filming sketches for YouTube. You didn't ask me to be. To be a part of any sketch.
Bob the Drag Queen
I haven't written any yet. Oh, I need. I really need to write them. You want to sit down and help me write them?
Monet X Change
I'll help you write them.
Bob the Drag Queen
Well, you said you got a hard out. Where you gotta go? Where the fuck you going?
Monet X Change
I have a nail appointment.
Bob the Drag Queen
Where the fuck are you going?
Monet X Change
I have a nail appointment. I do this thing with my nail lady. She's like, you have to come every.
Bob the Drag Queen
I nail. You do one nail at a time. It'd be easier if you just go back and do them all at once.
Monet X Change
That's why I go so often. I have to go every day this weekend.
Bob the Drag Queen
Wait, can I come? Wait, I can't come. I have stuff to do. But. Oh, wait, what?
Monet X Change
What, what you gotta do?
Bob the Drag Queen
Well, me and Taylor gotta clean up the studio. But I could do it in the morning.
Monet X Change
Yeah, come with me. It's right by my house. It's down the wall from my house.
Bob the Drag Queen
Can you just text me the address?
Monet X Change
Yeah.
Bob the Drag Queen
Can you say it out loud? Can you tell us what's near your home? Can you dox yourself? You did dox yourself one time.
Monet X Change
Did I?
Bob the Drag Queen
Did you see that. That Larry posted our video?
Monet X Change
I did. Y', all, this video is a perfect encapsulation of Bob coming from my shine. I'm like, we had a moment where we could work together and say anything together. Here comes Bob. Just. You can't even hear me.
Bob the Drag Queen
Okay. Okay. That's not what happened. What happened was Larry Owens. Love Larry Owens of Abbott Elementary. You probably know from Abbott Elementary. He was also in the original cast of Strange Loop, the original Off Broadway cast, Strange Loop. Um, Larry did the. You can fake your way to the top round and around, and he pointed it at Joy woods, and she goes round and around, and then he points it at Monet and goes. You can fake your way to the top. Monet skips over. Beyonce's part, goes directly.
Ryan Reynolds
He puts it in at the other guy. It goes to. It goes. It's Joy woods. And then it's the other guy.
Bob the Drag Queen
This is the one that didn't air because Monet. He pointed to Monet. Monet skips over. Monet was already cast. Monet's doing a part that she was not cast in. Monet skips over because you can see that he was gonna save Jennifer Hudson from me. I was gonna be Effie White, and Monet didn't like this. Monet didn't wanna be Deena Jones. So he points it at Monay to be Dena. Monay skips to Effy's part, and then we were like, monat, that's not how it goes. And Monet goes, well, I want it to be Effy.
Monet X Change
Okay, well, you're doing a lot. I did not say that. You're doing a lot of work.
Bob the Drag Queen
What you said was I wanted that part is what you said. You said I wanted to do that part.
Monet X Change
Yeah, but you're. You're. You're trying to get inside my mind saying why I did that. Let me tell you why I didn't do Dina's part. Because in that moment, y', all, it was. It was also. This was like, off the R talking about whatever, and Larry started recording, and I just. In that moment, I could not remember Dena's part. I could not remember how Dena's part goes, so I just jumped to the one I remembered. I didn't. I didn't remember.
Bob the Drag Queen
You can fake your way to the top. You do all Three. Round and around. Try that, baby.
Monet X Change
Round and around.
Bob the Drag Queen
Fake your way to the top.
Monet X Change
Round and round.
Bob the Drag Queen
You can fake your way to the top.
Monet X Change
Round and around.
Bob the Drag Queen
You had it in you. So I didn't want to really tell y'.
Commercial/Advertisement Voice
All.
Monet X Change
Cause Bob is so toxic in my brain. I thought you were going to sing that. I thought you were going to cut me off and sing that part again. I just knew. I just knew you were going to. I just knew you were going to do that. And I know you thought about it, too. Nigga, you fucking thought about it. I know you fucking thought about it, but you're like, no, I'll let her do it.
Bob the Drag Queen
I'm happy to let you shine.
Monet X Change
Ok? I don't win all the time.
Bob the Drag Queen
Can I tell you something that's really true before we get out of here? And I've never brought this up, and it is a point of how I am so willing to let you shine when Monet and I do shows together, which, honestly, is more rare than it should be.
Monet X Change
Can I say super rare.
Bob the Drag Queen
I get booked with Queens I don't have no business being booked with all the time. All the time. I don't know why I wouldn't book with anyways.
Monet X Change
Can I tell you why? Can I tell you why? Why? I think it's often they can't afford both of us at the same time, if I'm being very real.
Bob the Drag Queen
But I'm booked with, like, Trixie. I'm booked with Katya. Like, they can afford them. They can, honey. 1. Trixie is Bob and Monet.
Monet X Change
Yeah, true. Trixie and I have done. Trixie and I have done some gigs before together. You're right.
Bob the Drag Queen
And so whenever we do these things and we're like, all right, what order gonna go in? And Monet's always wants to have the second interest, Monat. And by the way, I give it to Monet every single day.
Monet X Change
I don't think that's true.
Bob the Drag Queen
Yes, it is. Y' all go look up anytime you see me and Monae on stage together. Monet always has a second issue because she wants it and I give it to her.
Monet X Change
That's not true. That's because it's Bob and Monet.
Bob the Drag Queen
We. I have.
Monet X Change
I have fucking. I have fucking locked myself into entering after you.
Bob the Drag Queen
And you see how this is.
Monet X Change
Bob is positioning it. Like, Monet gets to go on second.
Bob the Drag Queen
Nigga, you go on first. No, because you get the. Because Monet goes on and she wants to. Because she's like. She wants to applaud it, and then she wants to get like, ooh, I'm the big interest. When we did Disco Inferno, who entered second?
Monet X Change
Cause it's Bob and Monet.
Bob the Drag Queen
Answer the question.
Monet X Change
I don't remember. I'm guessing Me.
Bob the Drag Queen
It was you. You went on second. When we did the Civil Robbery tour, who went on second?
Monet X Change
Because that's okay.
Bob the Drag Queen
That's the question. Hold on.
Monet X Change
The song was made, and they put your verse first on me.
Bob the Drag Queen
Second. I didn't die. You wanted yours to be second.
Monet X Change
That's not true.
Bob the Drag Queen
Anyway, when we did our solos, who went second?
Monet X Change
What solos?
Bob the Drag Queen
In the Civil Robbery tour.
Monet X Change
I think I was second. Correct.
Bob the Drag Queen
When we performed in San Francisco, who went second?
Monet X Change
Me, because we structured the show as
Bob the Drag Queen
Bob and Monet because Monet wants to be the finale.
Monet X Change
That's not true. You want to be.
Bob the Drag Queen
Monet wants to be the finale.
Monet X Change
Bob, I'm okay with you being my opening act. I'm okay with that.
Bob the Drag Queen
Which, by the way, I don't care. It does not bother me. It does not. There is no squelch, squelch, squander, or shame in my positioning, honey.
Monet X Change
Cause we all know you literally. You fucking tricked me into being like, oh, yeah, Bobo. Sounds good. My dumb ass. Just meetings, meetings, not even paying attention. I'm like, yeah, that sounds great.
Bob the Drag Queen
Our names are in alphabetical order, just to be clear. Bob and Monet. Monet.
Monet X Change
Bob.
Bob the Drag Queen
Doesn't even make sense. Sense. Monet.
Monet X Change
Monet and Bob.
Bob the Drag Queen
Why not Bob and Monet?
Monet X Change
Well, why is it Monet?
Bob the Drag Queen
What y' all did know is that I actually did almost trick Monet into naming the. Naming our makeup company Black Owned Business.
Monet X Change
No, Black Owned Beauty.
Bob the Drag Queen
Monet went along with it for like, a solid. Like, I don't know, like a. A whole meeting. And it's like, yeah, yeah, Black Owned Beauty. Bob and Monet was like, what?
Monet X Change
Got you Fucking sneaky and tricky.
Bob the Drag Queen
I actually almost got it to be called Black Owned Beauty, which is.
Monet X Change
That would have been. That would have. Crazy.
Bob the Drag Queen
That would have.
Monet X Change
And then y', all, in one of our meetings, before we closed the doors at Vomo, we had a whole meeting where Bob was like, yeah, you know? And I was like, you know, And I think we should make the packaging purses. I think every palette should look like a purse.
Bob the Drag Queen
I was like, what?
Monet X Change
And y'.
Ryan Reynolds
All.
Monet X Change
I mean, I was like, ooh, that's a good idea, y'. All. They all look like purses. That would be fair. And we could have a hand doing, like, this. That could be really cool. And then, like, the next meeting, I was like, wait, now we gotta make another damn purse. That's crazy.
Bob the Drag Queen
But I let Monet close the show every time. You always get the final number, and I don't even give you any dissent. And one time we went on a vacation together to Aspen, and Monet and Andy were like, we deserve the big room. We need the room in the back.
Monet X Change
That's not what happened, Bob. You know, that's not what happened.
Bob the Drag Queen
Let Jacob tell the story.
Monet X Change
That is not what happened. Jacob, go ahead. Tell me about the story.
Ryan Reynolds
Okay. I mean. Okay. So we went to Aspen, and there were, I believe, four rooms. There were two tiny rooms and, like, two. There was two small rooms, one medium room, and then one big, like, main
Bob the Drag Queen
bedroom with a Jacuzzi and ensuite bathroom.
Ryan Reynolds
I think, to be fully honest, Patty. Patty tried to claim that one for himself first. Patrick was in the main room, and he's like, oh, yeah, girls, this is my room.
Monet X Change
Patty would not come with some rivalry and try to also.
Ryan Reynolds
It's also possible maybe. Then what it was is Monet and Andy claimed the big room first, and then Patrick tried to claim the medium room. And then Bob is like, patrick, you can't have. This is. This is the next biggest room. Like, we need it because we have two people in here, but you and. You and Andy definitely, like, were like, this is our room. We want it.
Monet X Change
So let me say it, because probably,
Ryan Reynolds
I guess in Monet's defense, it really. Probably. I feel like it was Andy leading that charge over Monet, but she stood behind her man.
Bob the Drag Queen
So you let Andy make decisions for our company.
Monet X Change
Let me tell you what happened. We get to Aspen.
Bob the Drag Queen
Did Andy pay for anything on that trip?
Monet X Change
We get to.
Bob the Drag Queen
I pay for half that room. Andy didn't pay a single dollar on that room.
Monet X Change
We get to Aspen. Andy and I have been together for, at that point, four, five months.
Bob the Drag Queen
And then, fuck if it's been five days.
Monet X Change
We get to Aspen, and then Andy goes looking at all the rooms, and he's like, babe, I found our room. Find our room. And Bob and y' all know this is very Bob. I was like, ho, ho, ho, wait.
Bob the Drag Queen
Ho, ho, ho. Andy.
Monet X Change
Andy, you're not coming here making no decisions. Blah, blah, blah, blah. I'm laughing, Kiki. Da da da da da, da. And then Bob goes. And Bob goes. And what makes you guys think that y' all should get this room? And I was like, well, we've been together for the least amount of time. And we were like, we're like, we should. It should be our thing. And Bob was like, ho, ho, ho, Ho. I don't. I don't agree with that. And then Jacob had chimed in with something. And then Bob went, you know, I will. I will allow you to have this room. You and Anakin have this room. I will allow y' all to have this room. And I was like, okay, that's fine.
Bob the Drag Queen
I'm.
Monet X Change
I'm. I'm cool with that.
Bob the Drag Queen
That is.
Ryan Reynolds
That is true. That is.
Bob the Drag Queen
But, but, but, but, but Mon, who didn't pay for nothing. Not a. Not a nothing on the trip.
Monet X Change
And he bought groceries. And he bought groceries for his.
Bob the Drag Queen
So chicken.
Ryan Reynolds
To be clear, Aspen was paying like, we were doing the gig for Aspen. The X Games.
Bob the Drag Queen
It was me and Monet's for the hotel. It was me, Monet's labor that paid for that. Me and Monet paid for that through labor.
Monet X Change
And he bought his groceries, and he went to the supermarket and bought a lot of the eggs and all the shit that we had, the croissants, and he bought that.
Bob the Drag Queen
So now he has more leverage than me.
Monet X Change
I mean, on that trim. He was paid for more thousands a year. Did you buy groceries?
Bob the Drag Queen
You and me pay for the whole space. But you know what? I allowed you to have it because I don't have the ego that you have. I don't have the need to prove to people
Monet X Change
anyway. We gotta go. We gotta go. Y' all rather wrap this up? We're done.
Bob the Drag Queen
Yeah, go get your thumbnail done. Your big ass thumbnail. They gonna charge you for the whole finger. For the whole hand for.
Monet X Change
Are you gonna come hang out?
Bob the Drag Queen
I probably. I was gonna see what me and Taylor gotta do. I gotta double check with Taylor, make sure, because I have not done. I have not done nothing clerical today. All I've been doing is podcast. I've done one, two. I've done. This is my fourth podcast of the day. Wow.
Monet X Change
I do. Okay.
Bob the Drag Queen
I've done.
Monet X Change
I've done two podcasts today, so I did Andy Richter. Who's that?
Bob the Drag Queen
He was the one of Conan's people on the Conan o' Brien show.
Monet X Change
Oh, cute.
Bob the Drag Queen
And then I did Watchery. Two episodes of Watchery, and I'm doing
Monet X Change
this two episodes of Watchery. What are the two episodes of? Dragons that came out?
Bob the Drag Queen
No, Untucked.
Monet X Change
Okay, so I've done three podcasts today. So now what? As well.
Bob the Drag Queen
What other did you do?
Monet X Change
I did Raven. I did Tea time with Raven and Miranda. I did this. If you want to call it a podcast, I just sit and watch her.
Bob the Drag Queen
Why would you talk about our podcast like that?
Monet X Change
How I feel.
Bob the Drag Queen
You said what you said.
Monet X Change
Bye, y'. All. Bye, everybody.
Commercial/Advertisement Voice
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Sibling Rivalry: "The One About Customer Service"
August 27, 2025
Hosts: Bob the Drag Queen & Monét X Change
Bob the Drag Queen and Monét X Change, the razor-sharp comedic duo, dive deep into the wild world of customer service, sharing their own outlandish encounters, dissecting email etiquette, reviewing ratings, and exploring the social funkiness of service interactions. They also touch on issues of microaggressions, body modifications, and a bit of sibling-level trolling (surprise theft included). The episode is a blend of personal anecdotes, sharp observational humor, and their signature playful bickering.
"Please advise. Is like, as per my last email. That's very... you." – Bob (04:09)
"Very disappointed how everything went down last night… All of them were not happy as well..." – reading videographer's text (09:03-12:06)
"If you will say the N-word in front of me, what do you say when I’m not around, girl?" – Monét (18:13)
"What did I do to get a one star review?" — Bob (28:25)
"She left a review on my fucking page that's gonna affect me." – Monét (23:40)
"People that say tattoos don't hurt, y'all are fucking lying." – Monét (36:32) "If I had lipo, I’d be pretty honest about it, but I just don’t have the fortitude to get lipo." — Bob (47:14)
"I know a guy who went blind from doing it." — Bob (42:09)
"You always get the final number, and I don't even give you any dissent." – Bob (59:19)
A jam-packed, punchy episode full of wry observational humor, sharp takes on customer service, candid race talk, and irrepressible sibling-style one-upmanship. At its core, it’s about asserting oneself in small everyday battles – whether in an email, a ride-share, or fighting for the bigger room – while never taking it (or each other) too seriously. Monét and Bob’s rapport and openness make even the most specific drag and life anecdotes accessible and hilarious, creating not just entertainment, but a mirror to modern etiquette, identity, and what it means to try (and sometimes spectacularly fail) to get good customer service.