The One About Dining

Summary

Sibling Rivalry: "The One About Dining"

Hosts: Monét X Change & Bob The Drag Queen
Release Date: December 23, 2024

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Episode Overview

This episode of Sibling Rivalry sees Monét X Change and Bob The Drag Queen dive into the chaos and comedy of food, eating out, and the peculiarities of both dining and drag culture. From debates over restaurants, cooking skills, and dinner parties to New York pride, iconic Beyoncé albums, and even stoning cars, the duo delivers trademark banter, sharp humor, and moments of real insight about queer culture and connection.

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Key Discussion Topics & Moments

1. Video Games & "Drag" Names (00:53–04:49)

• The episode opens with a humorous sidebar about how people fake playing video games online and the intense faces people make while gaming.
  • "Crying, just crying. She will not blink, y’all." (Bob, 01:41)
• Bob and Monét brainstorm drag names inspired by wordplay, riffing on ideas like "Annie Leverage," "Anythingos," and "Lana Jarrete".
• The pair discuss their skills at playing Super Smash Bros., teasing listeners and challenging fans to beat Monet.
  • "Monae said none of y’all...have anything on macaroni X cheese." (Bob, 04:11)
• Debate over whether any Patreon supporters could beat Monét in Smash; a friendly rivalry escalates with playful threats of a bobblehead for whoever wins.

2. New York Pride, Trains, and Drag Roots (05:03–10:14)

• Spirited banter about who is the “real New Yorker,” including humor about being a transplant and the Caribbean community in New York.
• They humorously debate which NYC subway line is superior, arguing about train routes and neighborhood coverage.
• Bob quizzes Monét on her knowledge of Nas and Jay-Z, playfully outing each other for not knowing enough lyrics.
  • "I am an iconic New Yorker. I’m not from New York." (Bob, 09:05)

3. Beyoncé, Best Albums, and Reciting Lyrics (12:15–21:18)

• The duo revisits Monét’s attempts at "Break My Soul Queen's Edition", with Bob suspicious that Monét is looking at lyrics offscreen.
  • "Put your hands up by your face and sing the song." (Bob, 13:21)
• Humorous challenge to remember the Queen Edit lyrics; both ultimately admit defeat and promise a rematch.
• They debate Beyoncé’s best album—Lemonade, Renaissance, or B’Day—offering track-by-track analyses and personal favorites.
  • "Can we all go back to acknowledging that Beyoncé’s best album is Lemonade?" (Bob, 17:24)
  • "I really love Renaissance. I think Renaissance is my—there are a lot of great options." (Monét, 18:55)
• Quick discussion on “Black is King” and standout Beyoncé tracks, particularly “Power”.

4. Home Decorating: Art & Outdoor Spaces (21:34–25:20)

• Monét describes her aspiration for more 3D and sculptural art at home, considering a large sculpture for her front yard.
• The pair discuss LA’s “Black Market Flea” and their own approaches (or lack thereof) to home decorating.
• Bob admits to disliking decorating entirely and wouldn’t hire anyone to overhaul his home.

5. Cooking, Dinner Parties, and Definitions of Dining (25:21–28:04)

• They compare approaches to cooking—Bob finds meal prep and timing “stressful,” while Monét dreams of hosting dinner parties but concedes she’s unlikely to do it often.
  • "For me, there is nothing about cooking that is exciting or fun or interesting to me." (Bob, 25:07)
• A funny debate about what makes something a picnic, a cookout, or a dinner party:
  • "Isn’t that a picnic? What’s the difference between a picnic and a dinner party?" (Bob, 26:19)
• General agreement: dinner parties involve tables and formality, picnics happen on the ground. Nighttime implies a dinner party, not a picnic.

6. The Restaurant Dilemma: Preferences and Pet Peeves (28:05–31:18)

• Discussion of the joys and irritations of restaurant dining.
  • Bob lists complaints: tables are too close, music is too loud, stressful reservations, and a dislike of table candles.
  • "It just stresses me out with this open flame at the table. And it’s also dark. It’s really dark in the restaurants." (Bob, 30:13)
• Monét loves going out to eat, trying new drinks, and seeing restaurants as an activity.
  • Bob, in contrast, would only go if the planning is handled by someone else and is never excited about "new" restaurants.

7. The Great Dining Bill Debate (34:01–38:44)

• The pair tackle one of adult dining’s thorniest issues: splitting the bill when some people drink and some don’t.
  • "I think it is inconsiderate of the drinkers to not…" (Bob, 35:02)
• Bob feels it’s only fair for non-drinkers to be excused from paying for alcohol they didn’t consume and insists this should be clear from the start.
• Monét, who always drinks, acknowledges it can be unfair, with drinks being a significant expense.
  • "But I agree, like saying at the top, but when we’re all deciding to split it evenly and one person’s like, ‘well, I ain’t drink three drinks’... it’s fair, it’s just annoying." (Monét, 35:54)
• Back and forth on fairness, responsibility, and the mild awkwardness this can cause.

8. Tangents: Fast Food, Measuring Spoons, and Inventions (41:28–47:14)

• Quick sidebar on unique kitchen gadgets and how inventions like the four-wheeled suitcase took so long to become standard.
• Bob teases Monét about measuring tools and the genius (or ridiculousness) of new TikTok gadgets.

9. Chicken Taste Test & Fast Food Deep Dive (45:19–47:01)

• Plans for a blind fast-food chicken taste test: Popeye’s, KFC, Dave’s, etc.—with Monét boasting about her chips expertise.
  • "I'm a nacho cheese connoisseur." (Monét, 45:43)
• Musings on how hard it is to keep all the food hot for tasting, and teasing experiments with multiple cars picking up food simultaneously.

10. Stoning a Car: The Next Viral Drag Project (52:52–59:59)

• Bob dreams of buying a junker car and stoning it with rhinestones ("Swarovski or bust!") for the sheer joy and challenge of the craft.
  • "But I want to have the process of doing it. I would like to fully stone a car." (Bob, 52:42)
• Monét and Bob debate the expense, labor, and logistics of fully stoning a car, with Bob determined to do it DIY style.

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Notable Quotes & Moments

• On Drag Names:
  "Is that a good drag name? Annie Leverage." (Bob, 02:13) "Anythingos!" (Monét, 02:45)

• On New York Identity:
  "I am an iconic New Yorker. I’m not from New York." (Bob, 09:05)

• On Table Candles:
  "The open flames always stress me out." (Bob, 30:08)

• On Splitting Bills:
  "It feels like the person who’s not drinking has to do a lot of heavy lifting." (Bob, 38:14)

• On Beyoncé Albums:
  "Can we all go back to acknowledging that Beyoncé’s best album is Lemonade?" (Bob, 17:24) "I really love Renaissance. I think Renaissance is my…" (Monét, 18:55)

• On Fast Food Chicken:
  "I'm a nacho cheese connoisseur and I think I can really nail Doritos..." (Monét, 45:43)

• Stoning a Car:
  "I want to buy a really cheap car, and then I’m going to buy a bunch of stones. I just want to stone a car." (Bob, 58:07)

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Timestamps for Notable Segments

• Video Game/Drag Name Banter: 00:53 – 04:49
• New York & Subways Debate: 05:03 – 10:14
• Beyoncé Lyrics Challenge: 12:15 – 15:50
• Beyoncé Album Discussion: 17:24 – 21:18
• Dinner Parties vs Picnics: 25:21 – 28:04
• Restaurant Pet Peeves: 28:05 – 31:18
• Dining Bill Debate: 34:01 – 38:44
• Kitchen Gadgets & Inventions: 41:28 – 47:14
• Fast Food Chicken Chat: 45:19 – 47:01
• Stoning a Car Tangent: 52:52 – 59:59

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Tone & Style

The sibling dynamic rules: fast, catty, loving, and irreverent. Bob and Monét stay on brand by mixing deep-cut NYC references, queer culture, high-camp humor, personal reveals, and off-the-wall hypotheticals. The episode features plenty of playful call-outs, creative shade, and affectionate teasing—plus a dose of pop-culture wisdom.

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For Listeners

Expect laughs, unexpected debates, and a surprisingly deep dive into the very real politics of splitting a bill, dinner party etiquette, and queer drag life. If you enjoy pop culture, personal anecdotes, and a blend of high and low brow “dining,” this episode gives you plenty to chew on.

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Ad sections and promotional breaks were omitted to focus on core content.

Transcript

[A]

My name is bob the drag queen.

[B]

And I'm monet x james.

[A]

And this is sibling rivalry. On this week's episode, Monat tries once again to do the Break My Soul Queen's edition.

[B]

We go out to dinner, and we

[A]

find out why Mae Monae say this.

[B]

This bitch embarrassing me. And they find out what made Bob say this.

[A]

Put your fucking hands up.

[B]

Comfortable in my skin Cozy with who I am I love myself Goddamn Cozy.

[A]

Is this a meme Cozy?

[B]

What?

[A]

Like. Like singing that song and playing. Playing a video game?

[B]

No.

[A]

Oh, there's something about people, like, faking playing video games. Me insane. I don't know. Faking.

[B]

Who's faking playing video games?

[A]

They'll do it, like, for video content. They'll like. Like, they'll always be like. They'll. They'll. They'll be like, I'm a gamer. And the videos, them being like. Because I don't feel like that's how people play video games.

[B]

Yeah, this. This how I.

[A]

That's literally you and Peppermint playing video games together. More screening. I. I play like this. This is how I play. That's how I play them.

[B]

I'm like. I don't have my mouth open. I'm. I'm. I'm a mouth open. I feel like my mouth open helps me concentrate a little bit on the video game for whatever reason.

[A]

And Kimchi doesn't blink. And she. She cries.

[B]

Crying, just crying.

[A]

She will not blink, y'.

[C]

All.

[A]

I'm not kidding. She will not blink. There are tears streaming down her face. While she has me Gunner. She has a. She has a RuPaul me gun. Like RuPaul out of drag with a briefcase. It's honestly hilarious. Tears rolling on her face.

[B]

I was playing Smash last night, and this fucking Me Gunner character was. I mean, dragging me all. I could not get a moment's rest. Every time I thought I had any leverage, this bitch was embarrassing me.

[A]

Is that a good drag name? Annie Leverage.

[B]

Annie Leverage. I like Annie Leverage. That's good.

[A]

Annie Thingos. Annie Thingos. Thingos could be a last name thingos. Yeah, Thingos could definitely be a last name thingos. If I said my name was Carl Thingos. What's your name? Bradley Thingos. What's your name? Daquan Thingos. What's your name? Abigail Thingos. What's your name? Anythingos.

[B]

It's Anythingos.

[A]

Anything goes.

[B]

Lana Jarrete. Lana Jarret is such a good drag name. I like that.

[A]

Okay. Anyway. What are you talking about? Oh, video games. So you and I have not done a smash against the fans or the patrons in a really long time. And y', all, let me tell you right now, me and money are good at smash. Genuinely. Y' all are crazy. Like, the ones who are, like, the ones who are, like, good money, you and I got. We got. We've been scrubbed several times.

[B]

Who I can know any. I don't know any patrons, no cousins, no siblings, no auntie, no cool aunts, no stepdads. Not one of y' all niggas have ever scrubbed me. So what's good?

[A]

And you gotta hold that. So. Yeah, me that if we do a little Patreon smash, not a single patron will beat you.

[B]

I don't know a single one. No, I'm saying that with my chest.

[A]

Monique, Jacob beat you in. Smashed in the tournament.

[B]

Okay, But Jake and I played. Jake and I have played hundreds of times. And he beat you hundreds of times. That he might. He maybe won twice.

[A]

We have it on video.

[B]

Maybe won twice.

[A]

It's my new favorite thing. A new cut, a new do, a new color. All right, Mon, y' all heard that Monae threw the gauntlet down. Monae said none of y'. All. None of you punk ass cousins, uncles, cool dad, stepmoms, none of you have anything on macaroni X cheese.

[B]

Y' all can't. Y' all can't see the. Y' all can't see the door. I mean, I think they're gonna scrub

[A]

you pretty hard, but what do I know?

[B]

No, no, I like to see it.

[A]

And the person who beats you will be a bobblehead.

[B]

They won't.

[A]

That's.

[C]

That's.

[B]

If that's some crazy chance off chance that the person beats me, they would 1000% be monation, and they need to. We're gonna look at. We gonna look at y' all tweets and shit to see what y' all talking about, to see if y' all

[A]

ordered it before the game starts. We're gonna have them say bobblehead of monation before the game starts. There ain't gonna be no Swip. Ain't gonna be no Flipsiders. No. No Fence Riders, honey.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

We done told y' all, we don't do dual citizenship. Honey.

[B]

Yes. See this? Let Bob zit bog. Bob bobblehead zit over the talk. You can have dual citizenship here on Monation. You can be both. You can be both.

[A]

Listen, it's New York and New Jersey, and obviously the monation is New Jersey.

[B]

Okay? Nigga, I am New York. You're the transplant you're the transplant.

[A]

I don't remember. I am an iconic New Yorker. It is what it is.

[B]

You're a transplant from the bowels. From the bowels of Georgia.

[A]

No one that you know. You were transplant from the anals of the Caribbean.

[B]

First of all, New York is Caribbean. New York and the Caribbean are synonymous. New York probably has. Probably. Probably has one of the biggest West Indian Caribbean population in America.

[A]

Okay? It's New York City. It has the biggest population. It has the biggest population in America.

[B]

No, isn't. Isn't. Doesn't California have more people over here?

[A]

New York City. We're talking about the city.

[B]

Okay, but I was talking about the state. New York State, obviously.

[A]

New York State is no 1. Anybody talk about Monet. Almost half of New Yorkers live in New York City and Long Island.

[B]

But I'm saying New York State has probably the biggest West Indian Caribbean population in all of America.

[A]

They have a big Caribbean population.

[B]

Yes. Caribbeans are all over New York State, Long Island, Poughkeepsie. We are all over that state.

[A]

But you're not.

[B]

Yeah, I'm from New York City.

[A]

You're only in New York City. You're local. You're a local queen.

[B]

Yeah, I rode the local train onto your ass uptown.

[A]

I was. I was on the one train, which, honestly, I'm gonna say about this right now, the best train in the city. The 1 train is the best train in the city. The 1 train was the first train to get the time ticker. The first one when all y'.

[B]

All. What time ticker?

[A]

The one that tells you exactly when, how long the train shows up. The one train was the first one to get that. I feel.

[B]

Well, that's not true.

[A]

When y' all was over on the A train. Guessing. That's not hoping and wishing.

[B]

I'm going to look it up.

[A]

On the one train. We knew. We knew three minutes, the next train. Six minutes, next train. We knew they were.

[B]

They would. They were. They would waste out on a fucking local line. Are you fudgeing drunk? They will wait that information on a local train. Nigga, are you crazy?

[A]

First of all, the one train service, a lot of people.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

It's no Upper west side.

[B]

And that's it.

[A]

West Village. I mean, that's. You can't.

[B]

Okay, so if so. So then if you. If we divide by neighborhoods, the A train is servicing the most people, followed

[A]

by the dips over the west side. Over Upper west side. It goes straight past Upper west side.

[B]

Yeah, but we're talking about. Bitch, the H Train starts in Far Rockaway. It goes all the way up to the Manhattan.

[A]

I'm talking about what's happening in Manhattan. Obviously, the one train also goes into Brooklyn.

[B]

It does not.

[A]

Nigga you.

[B]

Do you know where you live anyway?

[A]

It's south of South Ferry, but it goes up into the brickety Bronx. You don't even know the one train goes to South Ferry. I know one to South Ferry.

[B]

You can't take it back.

[A]

Hold on.

[B]

The one train goes to Brooklyn. You are so not New York.

[A]

I'm not. I'm not. I'm not from New York. I'm an iconic New Yorker.

[B]

Iconic New Yorker.

[A]

I'm not from New York. I'm an iconic New Yorker. No, it is what it is. No, I am an icon. I'm sorry to tell you this, but I am an iconic. I don't know why it bothers you so much that I'm an iconic New Yorker, but I am. I am an iconic New Yorker.

[B]

You know.

[A]

Why does it bother you so much?

[B]

It doesn't bother me, but I'm just saying you're not.

[A]

Well, the city of New York disagrees, so whatever. Like when they were looking for again, when they were looking for voices for the mta, I was next to Nas. Nas Nasty. Nas the Esco to Escobar. Now he is Nostradamus.

[B]

You don't even know no Nas raps. Give me a Nas rap

[A]

from if I Ruled the World and everything in it. Sky's the limit I push a 2, 4, 5, infinite I hope I never stop. Atticus, what song was that? If I Ruled the World. Imagine that. Yeah, you went to it. You went to all my sons I love them, love them, baby Black diamonds and pearls could it be if you could be mine we both shine if I ruled the world still living for today and we will walk right up

[B]

to the sun that's like a basic Nas song. I need you to do a deeper.

[A]

Like.

[B]

If real New York is no song, like no real Nas.

[A]

I'm not a. I am an iconic New Yorker. I'm not from New York.

[B]

I'm an iconic iconic New Yorkers though. Like iconic Nas.

[A]

You don't even know Jay Z songs.

[B]

Yes, I do.

[A]

Do one big pan fizz lyrics. I just love lyrics. Verse.

[B]

I just did it.

[A]

The verse. Not the chorus, the verse. Ok. No, you can't.

[B]

You can't make your own qualifiers. I started doing this song.

[A]

Just one verse. Just one verse. One verse. From any Jay Z's home.

[B]

Ok, Rich nigga Po N.

[A]

That's the chorus.

[B]

No, it's not.

[A]

Yes, it is. Roach Nigga Rick, Nigga House Nigga Phil N. Still N Bob. That is the chorus. Monet, you don't even know the song. It's called The Ballad of O.J.

[B]

i know the ballad. And what album is it on?

[A]

4. It's like numbers 4, 3, 2 or 4. You never know.

[C]

4, 4.

[B]

4 minutes and 44 up.

[A]

Monet, you're in front of your computer. I can see it in your eyes. I'm looking. I can see it in your eyes. First of all, it's called the Ballad of OJ that is the chorus. It is not the verse. Do you know a verse from that song? One verse from that song?

[B]

Um, I can't think of it right now.

[A]

One verse from any Jay Z, one verse from any.

[B]

Oh, okay. Any Jay Z song.

[A]

Just one verse.

[B]

Yeah, yeah, about that Brooklyn knob down in Tribeca. Boom.

[A]

That's. That's for the ver.

[B]

I want a verse right next to the D train. But I'll be hood forever I'm the new Madonna and since I made it here I can make it anywhere yeah, they love me everywhere I used to cop in Harlem, hola, my Dominicanos right there up in Broadway Brought me Back to that McDonald's took it to my sashbox 108th street catch me in the kitchen like a sandwich whipping pain,

[A]

you are sweating trying to remember the lyrics

[B]

through the town H3 off white, off white, off white Lexus driving so slow But BK is from Texas Me, I'm out that bedside home of that boy Biggie Now I live on billboards and rocked by my boys Just stop, okay?

[A]

You have bits and pieces of one.

[B]

It was all a dream. I used to read Word up magazine Salt and pepper and heavy D up in the limousine Hanging pictures on my wall every Saturday rap attack, Mr. Magic Molly Mall I have a sneaking suspicion

[A]

that's the only Biggie song you know.

[B]

No, I was a tablet in the public school era Bathroom passes, screaming glasses, squeezing assets Since a chubby nigga on the scene Party and bullshit and party

[A]

and bullshit now from your time in Atlanta. When I was in New York, I actually invested in learning about New York City.

[B]

Oh, I know, I know. Riding dirty on 85 I don't know,

[A]

I don't know, that's all. I don't think you do know. This reminds me of when you keep telling me when you every single time insist that you know all the lyrics to Beyonce's the Queen edition. The Queen edit. You still don't, don't do it, Monet. Don't do it again. You don't know it. Don't do it again. You don't know the names.

[B]

I literally preparing for this. For this. For a time like this. I knew. I knew it will come back on the podcast. And I'm about to eat your ass with this shit. You ready for it?

[A]

This is. This is round four.

[B]

So maybe it's round four.

[A]

No, it's not. It's at least your third time trying to do this. Fucking it up. Put your hands up. Oh, my God. Your fucking hands up.

[B]

What? What in the blue lives matter what in the blue lives matter is happening here?

[A]

You are looking it up, Monet. I'm not stupid.

[B]

I'm not looking anything up.

[A]

I'm not stupid. Bitch. Take a picture of screen right now into the group chat. Don't. No. With your phone. With your phone. You are shady. You are stupid. Yes. You are this bitch. I'm not. This is a stop and frizz. Keep your hands.

[B]

I'm sending to y'. All.

[A]

Keep your fucking hands where I can see them. Okay, now keep your hands up and do the song. Do not put your hands down. Okay, I'm not. What are you doing? Put your hands up.

[B]

I want to record it.

[A]

No, we are recording, bitch. Put your hands up by your face and sing the song.

[B]

You are not.

[A]

Stop putting your singing.

[B]

Okay, just. I need the first word.

[A]

No,

[B]

I need the first word. The first word. I just need the first word.

[A]

Okay, it starts with. I forgot how it starts. Now you got me fucked up. Wait, hold on. I don't know either, Jacob. What's the first word? Sorry, what's the song name? It's called Queen Edit. It's called Renaissance Queen Edit. Oh, that sent me to the moon. Stop looking it up, Monet.

[B]

I'm not. I'm really not. I'm really not. Monet.

[A]

You trying to bite? I can't remember. Hold on. Love, Rosetta Tharp. Rosetta Tharp.

[B]

Rosetta Tharp. Santi Gold, Bessie Smith. Nina Simone. Kelly Rowland, Levon. No. No. Badu. Badu.

[A]

Nope. Well, you know it, bitch. Rosetta Tharp. Santigo. Betsy Smith, Nina Simone. And I don't. I don't. I've never. I've never claimed to know all the lyrics to this one. Bette Davis. Bette Davis knows Badu, Lizzo, Kelly Roll, Son and Son.

[B]

Roberta Flag, Lauryn Hill, Roberta Flack, Tony Janet, Tierra Whack, Missy Diana, Grace Jones, Aretha Anisa Grace Jones. Helen Falasha, Bait Ado Jilly from Philly.

[A]

We love you, boo. Don't just stand there. Let's get into it. Strike a pose. There's nothing to it. Vogue. So, to be fair, neither of us knows it, but Monet, I'm going to. You have three months in March. I'm going to ask you again in March. I'm asking you again. Let's take a break.

[C]

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[A]

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[A]

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[C]

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[A]

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[C]

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[A]

1-800-contacts. Hey, y', all, I would love if you could go out and get my book, Harriet Tubman Live in Concert. I really want to be a New York Times bestseller. You can go to readthedragqueen.com. yes, audible counts. Yes, you can get it from Amazon. Yes, you can get it from Barnes and Noble. Yes, you can get it from your local bookstore. Go to readthedragqueen.com Yes, I am actually voicing the audiobook. So Again, go to readthedradqueen.com and get your copy of Harriet Tubman Live in concert. And back to the episode. Can we, now that we've had some space, can we all go back to acknowledging that Beyonce's best album is Lemonade? Now that we've had some space from Renaissance, now that the dust has settled, can we all just recalibrate and acknowledge that Beyonce's best album is, to this day, Lemonade.

[B]

Trying to think you can taste that dishonesty? Hold up. Sorry.

[A]

You want me to read some songs off from it?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Okay. Lemonade. Oh, I'm going to Spotify. Type in Lemonade. Okay. Limoncello. Okay. Lemonade has. Pray you catch me. Hold up. Don't hurt yourself. Sorry. Six inch Daddy Lessons. Love Drought, Sandcastles. Forward Freedom. All Night Formation and. Sorry, original demo.

[B]

I genuinely enjoy, like, Renaissance a lot.

[A]

Or. Or we can have this conversation. The one that no one mentions, which is K razy to me.

[B]

What?

[A]

Bday.

[B]

Bday. That's Partition and stuff.

[A]

This is. No, that was Beyonce. That was Beyonce.

[B]

That was Beyonce. Beyonce.

[A]

Deja vu get me body sugar mama upgrade Ring the alarm Kitty cat freak em dress green light, irreplaceable

[B]

Beyonce makes some bops. Girl,

[A]

you still gonna sit here and look me in the face and tell me that Renaissance is Beyonce's best album?

[B]

I do. I really love Renaissance. I think Renaissance is my. I mean, but it's just. There are a lot of great options.

[A]

We need more distance. I'm gonna give you some more distance. You still have Renaissance. Itis. Beyonce and Lemonade are both better albums than Renaissance.

[B]

You think so?

[A]

Yes, I do. Yes, I do. Listen to these ringers from B day. Ring the Alarm is such a great song. Are you behind?

[B]

I think I am. I did my Spotify rap. I listened to Beyonce 4000. It was like 3928 minutes this year. And, you know, I'm also Camp SZA and she was only like 1500 this year for me.

[A]

I would not call myself Beehive. I don't think I would not. But also, Beyonce has Drunken Love, Pretty hurts, Blow partition, Flawless, Blue. Great songs on that one.

[B]

That's when Blue Ivy was nominated for or won her Grammy.

[A]

I don't remember.

[B]

Did you like Black is King? I loved Black is King.

[A]

I like the visuals of it. But I only took one song away from Black is King. There's only one song I took from Black is King.

[B]

Which one?

[A]

Well, two. Brown Skin Girl and Power.

[B]

Also. You don't like Black Parade? I love Black Parade on there.

[A]

I think that power is. I'm gonna go on a crazy limb and say that Power is Beyonce's best

[B]

song, her best song of her entire catalog.

[A]

When I want to hear a Beyonce song, that's the one I pick.

[B]

No, it's a good song. But her girl, her best song.

[A]

Bob, I said what I said.

[B]

No.

[A]

Gimme Biden is also an absolute record.

[B]

Gimme Biden is a great fucking record.

[A]

Extended mix. If I go to the club and you don't play the extended mix, I'm burning the building down.

[B]

When I dj, I don't play the extended one anymore.

[A]

What?

[B]

No, I just played a regular version because there's so many. There's so many songs I want to get through when I do a DJ set. 60 Minutes is never enough. Because there's so much music. I want to play Criminal Activity. Yeah. No, I'm not. I'm not fixing one also. That's because you're. That's because you're. That's because you're early millennial. Yeah, early millennials love that they extend. Mix. Younger millennials. At this point, we want the shorter one.

[A]

Drop down. Almost hit the floor with it. Drop. Drop down. No, no. So many gray walk across the room. So many great moments.

[B]

I like your outfit.

[A]

Thank you. I didn't change spoiler. We're filming this. This is the same day from the last episode, and I didn't feel like changing my necklace, so I just kept it on because the necklace is a little bit long. So it's actually, like, tied in the back, and I didn't feel like taking it off.

[B]

Got it. And tell me about this hat. It looks like a Bob's Workers hat or something.

[A]

Just little devil horns.

[B]

Got it.

[A]

Just a little devil.

[B]

What is this art in the back?

[A]

Is this.

[B]

Is this from an artist or just from online somewhere?

[A]

Jacob, you want to take it away?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

There's an artist who I like, and I believe his handle is drawme Dennis on Instagram. There you have it.

[B]

Work. Interesting.

[A]

And there you have it.

[B]

I want to get more 3D art in my home. Not 3D picture, like, sculptural heart. You sculpt sculptural art to hang on your walls. Like, things that. I want more things like that in my home. I think I need more art. I was. I was in my bedroom last night. I was like, there's not enough art in here. I want more things. I want more things I want. So in my front yard, I'm thinking about putting a big sculpture in there. Do you think that'll be too much? Like, you know, when you walk in to the right?

[A]

I. Otherwise, it'd be on top of your car. So I guess I gather that. Thank you. I mean, you don't have a huge front yard, and there's not really much going on in the front yard right now, so maybe it would give you a focal point. I mean, when you say huge, how huge are you talking?

[B]

I want something at least, like, 9ft tall.

[A]

So it'll be peeking over the. Over the fence?

[B]

Yeah, for sure. Maybe it could be something low profile. Maybe something closer to ground.

[A]

I think something peeking over the fence is a little gauche, but I think there's something smaller and more like when you get in, but there's something like. Oh, what is. Like, it's like, there's curiosity. What is that thing? Versus coming in? Like, oh, wow, there's a thing.

[B]

Yeah, Yeah. I don't know. Well, also, can y' all just. Oh, can we go to black market? We should go to black market flea together one of these days.

[A]

What is that?

[B]

It's a flea market in la. It happens once a month, I think. And it's like all black owned artists selling their things there at this, at this flea market.

[A]

Why isn't it called black flea market instead of black market flea?

[B]

Maybe black market. Maybe black flea market was already taken. This one is like, there's like music, there's dancing. There's a whole bunch of stuff at this thing. I think it's more like an event that happens monthly.

[A]

Not much of a flea market type, but. But, but I am hanging out with my friend type, so I'll definitely go.

[B]

Yeah, I gotta.

[A]

Has a really wonderfully decorated home. Who? Jackie Beat?

[B]

I've never been to Jackie Beat's home,

[A]

and she's really, really into decorating. And there are times I'm like, do I want to be really decorating? And the answer is, objectively, I do not.

[B]

You do not?

[A]

I do not.

[B]

Would you ever hire, like, a, an interior designer to just overhaul your space and like, completely redesign it?

[A]

Not overhaul. I like a lot of elements of my home. Why do you mean to redesign my home? No, there are elements of my home that I like. So I would not overhaul my entire home. No. Okay, Would you. Would you hire the integrator to reroll? But would you hire someone to do it? Like, just get rid of all all that crap you have in there now and do it, like, nice, Maybe like

[B]

a few years, but not right now. Right now, I literally just did it.

[A]

But yeah, no, I would not get my home redecorated.

[B]

I would say when I watch shows on, like, because I'm like an hgtv, I would, like, put HGTV on. Just watch for hours. Like when I, like, do. Because I'm doing a lot of staying at home right now, so I'm just watching a lot of tv and HGTV just gets me like a whole. Like, I need to do more and

[A]

it's like, do this. Well, the truth is, I don't like decorating. I don't like homemaking. I get no thrill. It's like cooking. For me, there is nothing about cooking that is exciting or fun or interesting to me.

[B]

Damn.

[A]

Especially the notion of cooking more than one thing at a time. Cooking an entire meal, like, trying to cook the Entree and then also trying to cook the sides and then also making a salad and. And then also getting stress. It's not fun. It's really stressful.

[B]

Stressful.

[A]

Yeah. It is stressful. Like, you have to time it right or like. Okay, if I cook the sides too soon, will they be cold? If I took them too late, will they be. Will this be ready? What's going to be. What can I leave on the sub? What can I leave in the oven? What. What temperature you put in? It's not fun. It does not feel good to me.

[B]

Well, now that I finally have my out, I'm getting my out. The furniture together. I definitely want to invite everyone over. Like a. In my. In my mind, I'm going to be doing dinner parties. I'm not going to do it often, but in my mind I will be.

[A]

You don't have, like a big table, though.

[B]

I do.

[A]

You need a big table.

[B]

I have a big table out there

[A]

where it was always.

[B]

It was against the wall. That's why no one saw it, because we. But the chairs just came. So now I put that. Put us on.

[A]

You're gonna eat outside?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

That sounds fun.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Isn't that a picnic? What's the difference between a picnic and the dinner party?

[B]

I think a dinner. I mean, a dinner party doesn't have to be outside. A picnic is outside.

[A]

So was it like a barbecue? Okay, wait. I feel like you're eating in the backyard. Is it a dinner party? Eating in the backyard?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

How's it. Why. Why is it not a picnic?

[B]

Because a picnic. I think a picnic denotes like eating on the ground with, like, a specific type of place setting.

[A]

Like the gingham or checker.

[B]

Yeah. When you say dinner, I think that means more of like, you think a formal dinner. Like you're sitting at a table time of day. Oh, yeah. There we go. Time of day.

[A]

Yeah, There we go.

[B]

Yeah. You can't have a picnic at night. Even if you had the gingham and everything, you're not having a picnic.

[A]

Yeah. So if you put a table and also the sitting together. Cause a picnic, you can all sit anywhere.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

So if there's a table in the backyard and everyone's at the table and it is nighttime.

[B]

Yeah. That's a dinner party.

[A]

Then I would say that's it. By the way, this is not official. This is me and Monet making up our versions of what we think it is. So don't. Don't go being like, I heard we. I know for a fact. Because this is that's not what we said. We did not. We did not say that. Keep it cute.

[B]

Have you and Jacob ever had a picnic?

[A]

No, we don't. We don't have a yard.

[B]

Okay. You don't have to have a picnic. You can go out to a park or something. Have a picnic.

[A]

No, Jacob and I've never thrown. You mean, like us two together having a picnic?

[B]

Yeah. The two of y' all like a date?

[A]

No, we've never done that. No, Jacob, we done that. No, no, we don't really do outside stuff like that. Yeah, we'll go to, like, a restaurant or a theater. We don't go to restaurants. I don't like. I don't like going to restaurants.

[B]

Okay, so, like, when you guys go on, like. Have you guys ever had a romantic dinner date?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

To where? Or was it.

[A]

I mean. Well, we went to a. It wasn't dinner. We went to the. What's that? The beach, baby. Santa Monica. Went to the Santa Monica piers, and we ate down there. But it was like. We went Ferris wheel. We went. We were eating, we were driving, hanging out, spending time together.

[B]

Got it. But you guys don't say, like, I'm going to make a reservation at that new place in La Yaya to go have dinner there like a seven. Like, y' all wear a nice outfit and, like, have dinner like a. I

[A]

don't like going to restaurants. Me out.

[B]

Jacob, do you like going to restaurants?

[A]

I do. Got it. I mean, if Jacob. If Jacob really want to go to restaurant, I would go with him. Jacob, never. He's never been like. I've never been like. No, but if Jacob want to go to restaurant, we could go to one. Do you want to go to a restaurant, Jacob? I mean, I'm good. I. I go to restaurants with Mikey, and that's that. I get my restaurant fixed there. Yeah. I think when I go to shows, though.

[B]

Shows. Yeah, obviously, Annie and I, we. We are big boys. We eat, we like to eat. We. We love going to restaurants. Restaurants are definitely an activity we do often.

[A]

You got to go to Dante in Beverly Hills.

[B]

Dante.

[A]

Dante, Beverly Hills. That's the one. I will say they have really good drinks there, and maybe that's why I like them, and maybe that's. But the food is pretty good, too, and it's a nice view.

[B]

Okay. Let me. Let me. Let me put this in my Google maps so I don't forget. There's so many restaurants.

[A]

A lot of restaurants. Don't stress y' all out.

[B]

D A, N, T, E. Yep. Dante, Beverly Hill, wait. Okay, what's stressful about a restaurant to you again?

[A]

Well, the music is always too loud for one. Setting up reservations stresses me out.

[B]

Make Kennedy do it.

[A]

The tables are too close. This is my New York City experience. The tables are always too close together and I feel like I'm screaming, trying to be heard in the restaurant. I don't light candles at the table.

[B]

God damn.

[A]

The open flames always stress me out.

[B]

You think someone's gonna spontaneously come bust and catch on fire?

[A]

It wouldn't be spontaneous. It would be catching fire with a candle. They'd be set ablaze.

[B]

Well, I was being extra saying they have a spark in them that's gonna combust and then the whole table catches on fire because there's a flame there too.

[A]

I just don't like it. It just stresses me out with this open flame at the table. And it's also dark. It's really dark in the restaurants. What does it stress me out about it sometimes if I'm with someone. But I would like for our interaction to be done. We are bound by the food.

[B]

Well, I wouldn't say going on. So are you talking like a dates with or like. Or like a friend?

[A]

Restaurants in general. You asked me what's stressed about by restaurants. These are the things that just matter about restaurants in general.

[B]

Do you, but do you like going out for a. Maybe not one on one. Like do you like going out to a restaurant with like, let's say you, Kim, Naomi and I set out to go to dinner. Do you like that type of restaurant experience or not even that is stressful to you.

[A]

I'll go. If someone else is doing all the planning, I'll go. But I'm not like if a new restaurant opens, there's no part of me that's like I gotta get down to that restaurant.

[B]

Just gotta try food. I love food and different drinks.

[A]

But I did want to go to this Kevin Hart's vegan joint.

[B]

It's like a fast food joint. It's not like a sit down dinner restaurant.

[A]

I was just curious. I mean listen, we're not judging, we're just, we're just talking about experiences here.

[B]

Talking, speaking about that y'. All. I have my tour lifey life in

[A]

speaking of vegan restaurants.

[B]

Vegan restaurants. And I need you guys. We, we, we put the, the tickets in Toronto. That's a new market. And Denver, we had to refund all the tickets. So we kind of started from zero again. So if you are in Denver and, and cuz I, I moved it and when I moved it from May to. To January. Some like two markets we had to like, refund. Other markets, they just. You can keep your tickets. But a few markets, they had to like, completely refund all the tickets and start again. So if you're in Denver and you want to come see me do my show, Lifey Life, I'm going to be there January 16th. Make sure you go to monxchange.com right now to get your tickets so I can see you there. Also, Toronto. I've not been to Canada in a while. The last time I performed in Canada, Bob and I did, just for laughs, Toronto. So I'm back in Toronto doing my show. It's a really good time to go to monetexchange.com and all a bunch of other cities. Go to my website. You'll see the tickets, buy them, I'll see you there in January.

[A]

How many Tums can you eat before it's considered candy?

[B]

I don't like Tums. I don't understand. Wait, what is Tums for again? For heartburn.

[A]

It's antacid.

[B]

Got it. Yeah. I've never chewed on Tums. Like, in my mind. They won't. They don't taste good. Do they taste good?

[A]

I just ate two. It tastes pretty good to me. It tastes like candy.

[B]

Like. It tastes like what? Like a. Like. Like. Like a.

[C]

Like.

[B]

Like a. Like a Pez.

[A]

A chalky sweet. Imagine if an al. Maybe not. I wouldn't say the texture of an Altoid, because that's not quite correct, but an Altoid is the best texture I can think of right now. But the flavor of a. Like a dull skittle.

[B]

Interesting. Yeah, I'm not. I'm not. I'm not into Tums, but that's when I had that violent fucking acid reflux that I had to get on medication for. But I take Prevacid. Prevacid. Fix my shit, girl. My shit was fucking getting into your mid-30s, girl. That acid will fuck your shit up. Remember I used to wake up in the morning talking about some, hey, how y' all doing? That shit was fucking me up. And also, even if you sleep on your right side, that can cause. The way your body is wired. That causes acid reflux. If you have acid reflux, you should be sleeping on your left side because your pipes are going up this way. So the acid can come up, but if you sleep on your right side, you're fucked.

[A]

Yeah, I did know that, actually.

[B]

Did you? Yeah, work.

[A]

My friend Kevin told me.

[B]

Not you.

[A]

My friend Kevin. Anton. I'm not being funny.

[B]

Oh, okay. Here's the question for you. So you go out to dinner with a bunch of people, right? In, let's say you, you, and four of the people that drink. We are drink. We in. In. In addition to our drinking, in addition to our dinner, we've had drinks all night. Each person had, like, two or three drinks. So this dries up, obviously, the cost of the bill way higher. Are you like, well, like, I shouldn't be having to pay for everyone's drinks? Or you like, whatever, I'm at dinner, I'm squiding it.

[A]

I will answer that question when we get back from a break.

[C]

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[A]

Every style, every home. I think it is inconsiderate of the drinkers to not, like, here's the thing. If we all order appetizers and you're like, well, I don't if, like, everyone's like, let's eat appetizers. And one person's like, I just don't want any. Yeah, you have the right to not pay for that, for that chunk of the bill. But then we need to. I think that maybe if people are actually concerned about the money, that conversation needs to be had up front before we get to the point where it's getting weird. If you think, if you have concerns about the money, I think that you should bring that up at the top of the dinner as opposed to waiting till the end.

[B]

Yeah, I agree with that. But also, and I do think it's a little, I mean, again, I think

[A]

if someone brings it up, if someone brings it up, hey, I didn't have any beforehand.

[B]

I get that. Yeah.

[A]

If someone brings it up, hey, I didn't have any drinks. And if you give any pushback, I think the pushback is shady.

[B]

I think that, I think, I don't know. I, I, I don't know. I, I, I guess I've Dr. I've, I've, I've never, Not since I've been going out to dinner with friends. I've always drank. I've always drink. I always, I always drink. So I guess not consideration I've made, but I can see how it can be annoying where like people have had like three or four drinks. Cuz bitch, a drink is like $17 a pop. Three of those. But you're looking at what, 4, 40, 48. 48. Almost $50 for three drinks. So. And that's. You multiply that by three other people. And having the person who doesn't drink split, that feels unfair. But I agree, like saying at the top, but like when we're all deciding to split it evenly and one person's like, well, I ain't drink three drinks. And that becomes, I mean it's fair, it's just annoying.

[A]

I don't think it's, I think it's more annoying to pay for someone else's drinks when you've never had, when you haven't had a drink in years. Like, bitch, I haven't had a drink. Not only did I drink, this time I don't drink at all. I don't drink. And it's not like I made it up by ordering more appetizer or ordering a more expensive meal. Like I think it's weird that the person who's drinking is like, ugh. It's like, well, bitch, I didn't tell you to drink. You chose to drink.

[B]

But I think it's common practice. If we're all going out to drink, we're splitting the bill. Especially if you have a friend group, you kind of know that the situation. But at the top of the dinner, I agree with you. Like before it's gonna be like, hey, just, just, just, you're aware I'm not drinking and I don't expect to pay for drinks. I'm like, you know what, that makes sense.

[A]

But when I fear we're not all going out to drink, I'm going out to eat. We're not all going out to drink.

[B]

I said drink, I meant eat. We're all going out to dinner, right? And you know that you're with your friends that drink and we've gone to dinner a bunch of times. You know how we operate at dinner and be like, hey guys, just so we're clear, like before we start dinner, I'm not drinking. So I just want to be mindful of that when we get to the check at the end. Noted. Got it.

[A]

It also seems like it's just, it's just like an extra 30, 30 seconds of work to figure out how to not charge that person for drinks, it's like an extra 30 seconds.

[B]

Because then to your point, what you can do is like, maybe like you do. You do order instead of. You may be wanting to get the. The bolognese. I mean, you wanted the fucking T bone steak, but you got the Bolognese, so it's cheaper. So I'm like, okay, so you make up for that in your. In your. In your meal choices, you know?

[A]

But now I have to order expensive food just because you're ordering three drinks.

[B]

Not too pool. But it can be a consideration we can make.

[A]

What if you order expensive food, too? Are you ordering cheap food because you want drinks now? No. So why do I. So why do I.

[B]

Maybe I will. Maybe I will.

[A]

It seems like the person who's not drinking have to do a lot of heavy lifting. And the people who are, by the way.

[B]

Heavy lifting?

[A]

Yeah, it feels like heavy lifting. I mean, they're literally paying for your drinks. And then only that the people who are at the end of the meal who are one, probably a little tipsy, and they're already annoying now because they're a little tipsy, and now they're.

[B]

Now you're already ascribing emotion now. Now. Now we're annoying and drunk.

[A]

Okay, I don't think drunk is an emotion. I think tipsy is an emotion.

[B]

I'm saying. But tipsy. No, I'm saying you're ascribing a lot of things with. Now you know, you're saying we're drunk now you're saying we're doing.

[A]

You are. If you had three drinks, you are feeling.

[B]

Not me. You see me on way more, and I'm not annoying, and I've seen less.

[A]

You're. First of, you're annoying at zero. It's not about how annoying you are, but I think if you've had three drinks. Monet, you're a tipsy. You are feeling.

[C]

You.

[A]

You are feeling something. If you had three drinks.

[B]

Nah, son.

[A]

You're telling me you have three drinks and they have no effect on you? Ask Andy.

[B]

Ask Andy. It's. It's annoying. This is why I get annoyed. I go out to restaurants because I'm like, I think I have to order five drinks to even feel something.

[A]

So next time I come to your house, we're gonna give you three drinks, and we're gonna do a sobriety test, okay?

[B]

Oh, my God. Can we. Can you give me a feel? Surprise.

[A]

Absolutely. After three drinks and I'm pouring them.

[B]

Okay. No, you're not gonna be Pouring me a fucking handle. A fucking Everclear.

[A]

We're doing three drinks from a gay bar in Hell's Kitchen. Honey,

[B]

I was gonna say, but you never experienced this. Bitch, when you get drinks in the uk, the way they measure everything, I'm like, I'm used to the wild wild west of America where they are just free pouring whatever they want. In the uk, they measure every milliliter of, of everything coming out the bottle. And if they go even a scul over, they're like, oh, then they, they will repour your drink.

[A]

Well, it's because they. I, I think because they want consistency. So they want. If you order. So when I work at Ruby Tuesday, this, the thing is, it's called a jigger. The, the, the measuring tool that you use to, to pour is usually one ounce on one side and then you flip upside down, it's a half an ounce on the other side. Or, or they have different sizes too. They have different, different variations. Um, and they were like, you want

[B]

big thick ass hands? I can't. I am gagged. Nigga, your hands are big and thick. Look how your hand.

[A]

Look at your big ass thick ass hand. Look at that. My hand is smaller than yours. We've already done this math.

[B]

Okay? Anyway, look at your thick ass hand.

[A]

Nigga.

[B]

Was your hand stung by bees?

[A]

Anyway, we had a drink called the Ruby Relaxer and they wanted to make sure that every time you come back, the Ruby Relaxer takes the exact same way every single time. They don't ever want to change. So that's why, that's why you, that's a big part of why you're measuring it. Because you're making. If you're actually, if you're. In my opinion, if you're actually drinking because you actually love cocktails, you should be measuring them. If you're drinking because you want to get drunk, then you just pour it. But if you're actually drinking because you like the way cocktails taste and you, and you like mixology, measuring is legit the way to go because then you are actually getting a drink that just like pouring shit in there.

[B]

Well, and our argue going to drink at a gay bar. You don't care about the mixology, bitch. You're not ordering vodka sodas because you like the mixology. You, you drink, you're ordering it to have a good time and get drunk. Like no one's ordering vodka sodas, cuz they are like, this tastes so good.

[A]

Yeah, that sounds fair. Can I show you something I got recently?

[B]

Oh God, it's from TikTok also, by

[A]

the way, I. I had that pizza the other day cold last night. So. Good. It was good.

[B]

I don't like a cold pizza.

[A]

I can't. You know those little measuring cups you have in your. In your. In your. By the way, y', all, this is not paid ad, so I'm not getting any money from this. You know those little measuring spoons? Teaspoons. Teaspoons. They all go in each other. Mm. Throw them away.

[B]

This one TikTok shop. I saw. I saw it on TikTok.

[A]

This is the future of measuring cups.

[B]

Send me the link for that. Cause Andy can fucking throw all this shit out and not have all this just taking up space in my home.

[A]

Girl, it's one.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Tablespoon, quarter tablespoon. Half a tablespoon.

[B]

Yeah, I saw that. And then to wash it. Because also to wash those is so annoying. You can just flatten it and then it's. Girl, yeah.

[A]

Half tablespoon, quarter teaspoon. This is a.

[B]

Why don't make doing drugs way easier.

[A]

Oh, you do a bump out of this. Girl, let me get.

[B]

Let me. Yeah, y' all got a tablespoon of that kid.

[A]

Girl, that's not a bump. That's a lump. Girl, that's a lot of K. The real pros do this.

[B]

Sharing needles. Who?

[A]

Look, how. Why did it take so long for someone to think of this?

[B]

Well, you know what? That's the thing about inventions, right? Like, someone's gonna come up with something in the next five years and be

[A]

like, how anybody think about that?

[B]

Like, you just never. When the stroke of genius hits.

[A]

Girl, in the 90s was really. We had conversations on this podcast before, but I'll just revisit it shortly. It took until the 90s to popularize putting wheels on suitcases.

[B]

Yeah. Before it was.

[A]

Yeah, wheels existed. Suit suitcases existed, and no company was like, guys, we should put wheels on suit. I remember being young and having suitcases you had to, like, pick up. Yeah, those were our suitcases in the early 90s.

[B]

What do you think is next? They're probably going to put some. You see the same shit on hover rounds. They're going to put that on suitcases so then they can move independently next to you. You see them niggas that be riding down in the city just. Just be rolling by this. That's going to be the next thing.

[A]

And then I saw. And then it took until, like, the 2000s for them to put four wheels on it and have the wheels have casters, have Them rotate.

[B]

Yeah. So they can move in any direction.

[A]

It was just those two wheels. You hit one thing, your whole shit flip around.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Why did it take.

[C]

Who?

[A]

Why did it, why did it take so long for Taco Bell to be like, oh my God. Dorito. Dorito shells,

[B]

which. Why haven't they done a cool ranch one? Why is it only nacho cheese?

[A]

I've done it before.

[B]

It was, I guess obviously it wasn't successful.

[A]

I guess it doesn't sell as well.

[B]

It didn't test well. I thought that would be good though.

[A]

I gotta talk about in a minute.

[B]

I'm not doing it anymore.

[A]

Why?

[B]

Girl, for this next month, I'm not eating. I'm trying. I'm trying my best to be good. Cause I can't work out. I just feel like I'm literally. My thighs are spreading like rumors. Girl, I am expanding by the day. That's okay for you. I don't want that for me.

[A]

Just grab a little bit of Taco Bell. I'm going to Taco Bell today. Well.

[B]

Cause you go to the gym six days a week. I don't have that luxury currently.

[A]

To be fair. I was going to the gym when I was. I was eating Taco Bell when I was not going to the gym. Nothing's changed. Nothing's changed, Monet. I'm eating Taco Bell before I'm eating Taco Bell now. I am on my Taco Bell kick at the same rate. I've been actually less lately because I don't know why I've been going to Taco Bell lately. I just go out. I just go in and out of my Taco Bell swings. It's like pie. Pies, Taco Bell. Those are really my two fast food places. I don't really go many other fast food places except no, I'm going to

[B]

McDonald's and I'm going to KFC. I will be hard pressed to eat any fucking KFC in America. But in the UK, I'm going to KFC every time.

[A]

KFC used to have really good Tennessee hot chicken.

[B]

Yeah, I also want to. I want to do the chicken. I've seen this, this chicken Nashville Hot. I can't identify the different chicken brands. I'm going to do a blind tasting on my, on my, on my YouTube. I think I can do that. I think I can. I can, I can tell you the different type of nacho cheese chips. Like I know every type of nacho cheese. I'm a nacho cheese connoisseur and I

[A]

think I can really Nail Doritos and Doritos.

[B]

O Wise has one. I can wise the wise. Nacho cheese is fucking trash. Trash. It's not good. It's not a good nacho.

[A]

Wives family watches our podcast.

[B]

Well, until they sponsor this episode, I ain't. I ain't retracting it either.

[A]

Um, well, let me. I mean, I feel like. Okay, if you put in front of me a Popeyes Chicken wing, a Dave's Hot Chick. Well, but there are different kinds of chicken, though.

[B]

Yeah, I mean, you have to get all tenders from these places. Every. Every place has tenders.

[A]

Are you getting them all naked?

[B]

Yeah, I'm just getting them regular. Un. Like, no sauce. Naked wings.

[A]

I'm getting naked wings, but.

[B]

Cause I'm trying to distinguish between the things I want to do.

[A]

No, but who's eating naked?

[B]

So.

[A]

Okay. A Popeyes Chicken tender, Raising canes, Dave's Hot Chicken.

[B]

Kfc.

[A]

Kfc.

[B]

What else we got?

[A]

And I'm throwing Applebee's. Okay, but the issue is getting them all to be hot. You're gonna end up eating cold chicken.

[B]

Yeah, probably.

[A]

But either you're going from place to place or you're trying to order them all. Okay, I have an experiment I want to do. What we need at least three or four people with cars.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

I think if we all drive at the same time, the cars won't hit each other, like, at a red light. If all the cars go at the same time, that if everyone steps in the gas at the same rate at the same time, it should be fine.

[B]

No, that's not how that works. Because different cars. Cars accelerate at different speeds.

[A]

But I'm saying the same acceleration at the same time.

[B]

You have to get the exact same

[A]

cars, but adjust for acceleration. Everyone. Everyone's doing the same accelerator. Like, for example, let's say our bodies are all different. But if we're all taking one step at a time, even though our bodies are all different.

[B]

No, but you don't have to choose. Like, some cars go from zero to 60 in three seconds. Some go from zero to 60 in nine. In nine seconds.

[A]

But anyone can get to 60 within a certain amount of time. So you don't do it fast. It's not pedal to the metal. Everyone does a slow rate, a rate that every car can achieve.

[B]

But no, that's not how that works, girl. Like, it's not. It's not gonna work out that way because you can't really choose. You don't choose. Yes, you can choose how fast this accelerates, but how. Then you have to account for different people's body weights. Like your 10. Your. Your.

[A]

Yeah, the thing is, you're just. Everyone's adjusting. For example, everyone can drive a hundred feet in ten in, like, twenty seconds. Everyone can do that. Everyone can. Can make it where their car will go 100ft in 20 seconds. You have to just make it. That speed, that acceleration, Everyone is doing the same as the.

[B]

Right.

[A]

Yeah. You might have to do a little bit. And I don't think. I don't think it's gonna be that much. Him and Han. I don't think the acceleration rates are that. Especially when we talk about acceleration rates, people are talking about zero to 60. I'm not talking about going 60 miles an hour. I'm talking, like, less than five miles an hour. Everyone's just pulling forward a little bit. No one. We're not. We're not zipping down the. The. The. The autobahn. We're just in a parking lot, all going at the same rate.

[B]

But I think there's a lot of testing, right? Because you have to. Then we have to find out how many pounds of pressure we're applying. We have to find out how.

[A]

I think you're overthinking it.

[B]

I know.

[A]

I think about the.

[B]

No, I think all that will measure. All that goes into calculating how fat

[A]

you're overthinking it because. Because first of all, the acceleration rate is in the little meter is in the car. Everyone just do that same amount. Everyone do that amount. And you have the. And you have the other meter.

[B]

Right, but that meter, it varies from car to car is what I'm saying. It's gonna.

[A]

What I'm saying is. No, the. The units of measure are the same. That's. The units of measure all the same. So everyone go to the exact same measure. Whatever it is in your car, just go to that measure.

[B]

But I'm saying the two in your car in a Venza is gonna be different than the Tuna BMW the same units of measure. It's not.

[A]

They're units of measure. For example, the miles per hour in my car is the same as the miles per hour in your car.

[B]

Correct. Miles per hour. But acceleration is different because. Because. Because of the amount of torque each car has to accelerate. So that I promise they're unit.

[A]

They are units of measure. The cars are not making their own units of measure. Every car has the same units of measure. So a five for me is a five. Now, I might have to do more to get to a five, but our fives are the exact same. If my Car is driving ten miles an hour. Your car. We're going the exact same speed. Now, I might be pressing my pedal a little bit harder, a little bit softer, but we're all doing the same. We're all doing the same miles per hour.

[B]

Yeah, but this, I literally. This is what they do. This is how they figure out the thing. Have you ever seen my cousin Vinnie?

[A]

No. What is this?

[B]

It's a Joe Pesci movie from like the 90s. Great. But anyway, there's literally.

[C]

They.

[B]

They work on this. This is literally what they talk on the thing. Miles per hour. Yes, it's the same for. From vehicle to vehicle. But when you talk about the speedometer, the unit measure for the speedometer for the acceleration, the amount of torque is what causes very. Oh, am I reconnecting?

[A]

Yeah, we're here.

[B]

Oh. The pounds of pressure you're you apply to torque is what manipulates the speedometer. It is a different thing, I promise you. And there some mechanic sounding below like Monet is right.

[A]

Oh, they're probably like Monet's fully wrong.

[B]

Or that too. That is. There is a world with that.

[A]

That can. My cousin Vinny is in a documentary, but they're using. You act like, like it's like, like if. If I talk about the Eon Flux capacitor from a movie, that doesn't make it real. Wait, what is that from? The neon flux.

[B]

Where is that from?

[A]

I don't know. It's a Charlize Theron and she's like a assassin and it's where she jumps over and like the grass becomes blue.

[B]

No, not Aeon Flux. They like the thing he said is from like a Marvel movie. Like Bob didn't, but you, you. Your brain made that associated or something. What is it?

[A]

I don't know what it's from, but I. But it's the thing people say when they want to sound nerdy.

[B]

Yeah, the Eon Flux capacitor, that's from a movie.

[A]

Yeah, yeah, maybe.

[B]

I don't know.

[A]

But yeah. Just because they have it in the movie. It wasn't a documentary, Ma. Okay, you didn't, you didn't. You didn't see it on Mythbusters. You saw it. You saw a Joe. It was a Joe Pesci film.

[B]

Anyways.

[A]

You thought you was watching real life. Anyway, let me all go to a parking lot, ok? We're going to get a drone. Me, you, Patrick, Amber, Kim. Kim.

[B]

Naomi has a car as well.

[A]

Naomi can't come.

[B]

Naomi wreck all our shit.

[A]

Naomi's in the. Naomi's in the front. I'm gonna be clear. I'm not gonna be the car in front of Naomi that I know I

[B]

want to be last. Cause y' all ain't fucking up my shit. I will be the last car.

[A]

I also want to stone a car.

[B]

I was saying. So have you seen these cars on the highway for Christmas? Have you seen these that they have the full, the full lights on them?

[A]

Yeah, that's cute.

[B]

It's, I'm like, it's. How is that legal? Also, I feel like if you had a fully stoned car going on the highway at night, I feel like that, like with the shine, I feel like that's.

[A]

That there's day. It'd actually be a problem in the

[B]

both day and night because you on the highway. You got your on the highway. And then you start seeing this bright thing that could probably both ways. I think it's a problem.

[A]

I want to stone a car. I, I, I don't, I don'. Buy a car and stone it because it's going to be expensive. But I want to have the process of doing it. I would like to fully stone a car.

[B]

Oh, girl, I would. I, I, I honestly I wish I would. I would stone my car. I think it would be so cool. But the how long does this take?

[A]

And also I, I've Google fully sewn cars and they are. Wait, there are. Oh, really? Yeah, there are some out there. Yeah, I saw one for sale

[B]

fully. Ryan.

[A]

How cheap can I get a car for $500?

[B]

Yes, girl, will you help me stone it? I'm not helping you stone. I do not enjoy stoning.

[A]

You won't help me.

[B]

Oh, wow, that does look so fucking cool.

[A]

You would help me stone my little 1997 accord?

[B]

Well, I think what they do is they obviously like just how you go to a body shop and you whatever. I think that's how they do it. But that looks so fucking cool. Oh my gosh. Should I get my car stoned? Oh, no, this one is just the front. Oh, TikTok is riddled with these stoned cars.

[A]

I'm doing it myself. I am going to stone a car. Disco daddy said he helped me.

[B]

How much are you going to play Vincent to stonia car?

[A]

I don't know. That's for that's for him to decide and me to agree on. Maybe or maybe not.

[B]

Bitch.

[A]

It could be a good stoning

[B]

to stone a car. Jacob, you have interest in stoning a whole car? Bitch, Stoning a collar is a lot of work.

[A]

No one has to do the whole thing. People come to a little chop, dogs come spend an hour with meat and clean.

[B]

Though if I'm gonna do it, my needs to look like it was professionally done. I don't want no hand, no owning my car.

[A]

I'm gonna. I wanna buy a. I'm gonna buy like a 500 car and then stone that.

[B]

Now what are you gonna do with it?

[A]

Huh?

[B]

What are you gonna do with it?

[A]

I don't know. I haven't thought this far. I'm gonna want to stone a car. Why you poop with my idea? I just want to stone a car.

[B]

You have this fully this 500 car just sitting there.

[A]

What? Why you poo poo one of my ideas. I just want to stone a car. Why do you not want me to have fun and stone a car?

[B]

Okay, well, what if I. Okay, here's. Here's. Here's a deal I'm willing to make. I'll let you. I'll let you stone my car.

[A]

I don't want to stone your car. You let me, but you'll pay me. What do you mean you let you.

[B]

You said you wanted to stone a car. I'll let you stone my car.

[A]

Let you. You will let me do hours and hours and days and days of free labor. You'll let me? Yes. How sweet. Oh, my God.

[B]

You literally just said you just want to stole in a car, so I'm giving you a car to stone.

[A]

Thank you for. Allow me.

[B]

I'm saving on the cost of having to buy a car to stone it, so that's already half the battle.

[A]

I'm trying to make this sound sweet at St. Lucia. It's not. It's. It's as sour as. As. As something sour. I don't know.

[B]

You can get. I don't think of anything. I can't think of anything not sour.

[A]

I don't know. Brooklyn sewage water. There you go. Is it sour? I don't think it's sour. Like, I don't know.

[B]

Yeah, I will let you sell my car for sure.

[A]

Stop saying. Stop saying like. I'm asking you.

[B]

I'm saying I'll let you do it.

[A]

Stop saying like. I'm like. I'm trying to convince you. You're like, yeah, you know what? I will let you do it.

[B]

I will let you do it. But they look really cool, though. Honestly, a fully stoned car would be so fucking cool.

[A]

Oh, my God, it'd be so cool. I would not stone my actual car, but I would buy a really cheap car, and someone's gotta Be giving away a car. Someone's gotta be giving away a car.

[B]

You're about to be giving away one in four years. When you're getting your Mercedes, someone's gotta

[A]

be giving away a car, right?

[B]

Why aren't you waiting four years? When you're ready to get your new car and just stole in your car. You have now.

[A]

It'll take me four years.

[B]

So start doing it now. You'll be ready. You'll be ready in four years.

[A]

Who's giving away a car? You can donate cars. Maybe Facebook Marketplace has a free car.

[B]

Oh, my God. Look at this one I just sent you guys. This one is fucking cool, bitch.

[A]

Put it to the media page so the audience can see it, too.

[B]

Yeah. Oh, shit. My friend Dan gave me a keyboard.

[A]

Ok.

[B]

But, like, none of the Mac. None of the Mac shortcuts are in it. So I can't, like, control copy and shit. And that should be. Maybe there's a way to do that. Okay. I just sent it to the group. Look at that. Look at that one. That's fucking cool, y'.

[A]

All.

[B]

Look at this fucking pink Swarovski. Swarovski gives my shit. My shit has to be Swarovski just because I think that would probably shine better. That's fucking cool.

[A]

I'm not. I'm not stoning a car with Swarovski stones.

[B]

What are you gonna do with Chinese stones?

[A]

Something I'm like. I'm not using Swarovski stones to stone a. To stone a junk car.

[B]

No.

[A]

That would be insane. Like, why would I do that?

[B]

That sounds covered in genuine European crystals. Okay, so. So to pay someone to do it costs $150,000. And you want me to do it

[A]

for you for free?

[B]

I said I will let you do it.

[A]

Yes, you will let me do $150,000 worth of labor for you.

[B]

To be fair, I think this is also. You're buying the car as well.

[A]

You will allow me to give you $150,000 worth of labor.

[B]

No. Yeah. Make the link I just sent y'.

[A]

All.

[B]

This is the company that does it. No, it costs 150k and about. About 12 weeks to do.

[A]

I'm not paying them. I'm not paying them. I'm gonna get a cheap little car. I'm gonna see if I can find someone who giving away a car, and then I'm going to buy a bunch of stones. I'm not buying Swarovski because that seems really wasteful. I mean, it's. The whole thing is wasteful. But I'm just not buying Swarovski Stones. And then I'm gonna make myself. I'm gonna make myself a.

[B]

Okay, here's my promise. If I ever come crazy wealthy, I'm doing this to a car

[A]

that seems. I mean, doing it. Doing it, I guess, in my mind. I don't want to drive around in this car. I just want that be so cool. Like, I don't want to drive around. I just want to stone a car. It just. Something about the idea of stoning a car seems interesting to me, but the idea of actually driving around in it seems insane.

[B]

Girl, that. Especially live in la, that would be so cool. You're driving like your Is just the enjoy and excitement I get on stage when I'm in an outfit like, that's fully stoned. Like, I wore that green thing to do Joe's Pub, and when people tag me videos, I was like, oh, my God, I look insane. To have a car like that would be fucking sickening.

[A]

But what looks insane?

[B]

The outfit I wore to Joe's Pub.

[A]

Like, good insane.

[B]

Yeah, it looks like. It looks so cool. It looks, like, insane. Like. Yeah.

[A]

Yeah. I don't really wear that many sparkles, to be honest.

[B]

I love a sparkle. I love a sparkle on.

[A]

I mean, I wears. I wear sequins, but I don't really wear. I don't really wear a lot of stones. Do I have anything that's, like, stone stoned? Not really.

[B]

I love a fully stone woman.

[A]

I have, like, one cat I used to wear for my show, Crazy Black Lady.

[B]

Oh, yeah.

[A]

I remember I saw myself actually backstage at. At Angels in America.

[B]

Angels in the market.

[A]

Are you gonna come over to my house and do some. Put some time in on selling my car?

[B]

I'm not gonna commit to that, but I'll be open to it. As of this moment, I can't commit to that.

[A]

You never committed to giving any amount of time to come and sell my car.

[B]

No, not currently. Not at this point.

[A]

Well, I have somewhere to go.

[B]

Good. Be gone.

[A]

I'm gonna go pick up my friend. Who's unhappy at your house.

[B]

He's stranded at my house.

[A]

Who's unhappy at your home?

[B]

Stranded here.

[A]

All right, love you so much. Bye, everyone.

[B]

Bye.

[C]

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